Monday Night Raw – July 30, 2007: Purge It From My Memory
IMG Credit: WWE
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 30, 2007
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Someone requested this a few months ago and I could use a little break so it’s time to do something off the big list. I’m not sure what to expect from this show but we’re coming up on Summerslam with John Cena as the reigning World Champion. This is a period that I don’t remember very well so hopefully it’s good stuff. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
We open with a recap of Randy Orton being named the new #1 contender to end last week’s show.
Here’s John Cena to get things going. He’s looking forward to Summerslam because he gets to face Randy Orton one on one. Orton is fired up and ready to be #1 contender because he’s following the playbook. The first step is making a statement, just like Great Khali and Bobby Lashley did. That’s a good start, but Orton needs to skip ahead to the end, which is the same as it has been since September: THE CHAMP IS…..interrupted by Carlito because these two are joined at the hip throughout eternity.
Carlito is proud to have Cena as the first guest on the new Carlito’s Cabana. The stagehands bring out the set so Cena has a seat, allowing Carlito to ask the big question: what is it like to be a liar? See, Carlito remembers beating Cena for the United States Title back in the day. Cena remembers the whole story taking place three years ago. Cena: “Back then, Brittney Spears was still hot.” Back then, Lindsay Lohan was doing her first line. OF DIALOGUE! It was Herbie Fully Loaded, we all saw it.”
Cena grabs a coconut and offers a toast to the new Cabana but Carlito says he has Cena’s number. Now it’s Mr. Kennedy to interrupt because Carlito’s talk show is taking place in Kennedy’s ring. They yell at each other until Cena says Orton should be #1 contender because he deserves it. Cena mocks the two of them and says Kennedy should challenge Lashley tonight. As for Carlito, Cena will rip off his apples later.
Melina/Jillian Hall/Beth Phoenix vs. Maria/Candice Michelle/Mickie James
Candice is Women’s Champion and this is back in the day when the Divas division actually got decent for a little while. Santino Marella is here with Maria and company. Beth sends Maria into the corner to start but gets taken into the other corner for a tag off to Mickie. You don’t do that to Beth though as she powers Mickie across the ring so Melina can come in for the slugout.
A hurricanrana out of the corner gives Mickie a breather and it’s Candice coming in to try an old Rock N Roll Express double roll over. I say try because it’s little more than a disaster as the talent level drops a bit. Jillian comes in with a cartwheel elbow but walks into a Russian legsweep, allowing the hot tag to Maria. Everything breaks down and it’s a wheelbarrow faceplant/bulldog combination to finish Maria.
Rating: C-. This wasn’t good for the most part, but what matters is it felt like a match. This wasn’t just a bunch of good looking women doing a move or two to each other. They looked competent out there (for the most part) and this is several steps ahead of some of the other times this division has had. It’s rather refreshing compared to the low points and I’ll gladly take that.
Post break Santino can’t believe what he’s seeing. Why is there so much cheating around here??? He blames the referee for allowing this to happen and yells a bit, but here’s Intercontinental Champion Umaga. The referee’s response: ring the bell.
Umaga vs. Santino Marella
Non-title destruction, capped off by the Samoa Spike in about a minute. Umaga came off like a face here, which is a weird thing to see.
King Booker does not like Jerome Lawler being referred to as king. He hopes HHH is watching at home on the telly so he knows what is coming for him if he comes back at Summerslam. Queen Sharmell gets in a few KING BOOKER’s too.
Cody Rhodes, with a black eye, comes in to see Jonathan Coachman (the current boss) and we see a clip of Randy Orton taking out Dusty Rhodes last week. Cody isn’t happy, but Coach says if Cody loses tonight, he doesn’t have a job on Raw anymore.
Orton is ready to win the title but here’s Sgt. Slaughter to say he’ll fight Orton tonight. Uh, great?
Daivari vs. Cody Rhodes
Daivari yells at us a lot until Cody is here to start things off. Cody, all in yellow, slugs away to start but gets elbowed into a neck crank. The USA chants (remember that Daivari is from Minnesota) bring Cody back to his feet for the Flip Flop and Fly. A bulldog into the scoop powerslam sets up a DDT to give Cody the fast win.
Bobby Lashley vs. Mr. Kennedy
Lashley interrupts Kennedy’s pre-match promo to get on his nerves. Kennedy gets thrown down to start and Lashley can’t quite get the proper form on a vertical suplex (kind of shoving Kennedy’s leg up instead of holding him in place). The threat of the spear sends Kennedy outside but he gets in a running boot to send Lashley’s shoulder into the steps. Back in and the armbar goes on, followed by a snap across the top rope. Another armbar is broken up and Lashley hits a running forearm to the back. The spear is blocked with a knee to the shoulder though and that’s actually enough to give Kennedy the pin.
Rating: D+. The match might not have been very good but that might have something to do with Lashley tearing his rotator cuff during the match. He would undergo surgery soon thereafter, meaning this would be his last match in the WWE for over ten years. It’s not fair to grade the match that harshly as a result, but dang Lashley could have been something big had it not been for the injury.
A very bald Snitsky talks about enjoying pleasure. Sweet goodness this really is 2005 all over again.
During the break, Lashley has to be helped to the back with Lawler going to the ring to show you how serious it really is.
Video on King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler in a battle of the crowns. This feels like the setup for a match Lawler probably did in Memphis a hundred times.
HHH return video.
King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler
They stare each other down to start until Lawler gets in a left hand to annoy Booker a bit. Booker gets him into the corner and hammers away, earning himself another right hand to the jaw. An elbow to the jaw and a spinning kick to the face give Booker two and it’s time to hammer away. Lawler fights back again and kicks him down, setting up an elbow drop for the pin….but Booker’s foot was on the rope. Booker is back up and knocks him into the corner, with the beating continuing enough for the DQ. Well ok then.
Rating: D. This one felt really off for the most part and while Lawler is rarely going to do much more than throw punches and basic stuff, it wasn’t much of a match. Lawler got a pin (didn’t count but it was a three) and then wins a few seconds later by DQ. I’m not sure how good this makes Booker look and we’re not even in Memphis. I don’t get this one.
Post match Lawler fights up and beats Booker down on the ramp. So Booker gets his big win in the rematch?
Cryme Tyme vs. John Mason/Brandon Gatston
JTG and Mason start things off as JR is going solo on commentary for the time being. A dropkick sends Mason into the corner so it’s quickly off to Gatston. Shad comes in and hits some hard clotheslines into a powerslam. A Samoan drop/running flip neckbreaker combination gives JTG the pin to complete the squash.
Post match Shad kisses Lilian Garcia on the cheek and the team talks about how they’re money, money. That means they steal Gatston’s boots and sell them to the crowd. They start the bidding at $10,000 but Shad feels crazy and drops the price to two grand instead. Eventually they get a Sharpie and sign the shoes, which are eventually sold for $40. I know they’re a pretty bad stereotype but I’ve always had a soft spot for these guys due to their insane charisma.
Lawler is back on commentary.
Randy Orton vs. Sgt. Slaughter
Did Slaughter have an annual guaranteed match in his contract? Orton kicks him in the leg to start and pounds Slaughter down in the corner to start. We’re in the chinlock early but Slaughter fights up and hits some clotheslines. The Cobra Clutch doesn’t work though and it’s the RKO for the easy pin.
Rating: D. For the life of me I don’t get why they kept trotting Slaughter out there in this role. Yes he’s one of the most identifiable characters but how many people are going to get excited about a Slaughter cameo in 2007? The match was mostly spent in the chinlock until the obvious ending and that’s not exactly thrilling.
Post match Orton hits the Punt to send Slaughter out on a stretcher.
John Cena vs. Carlito
Non-title and Orton is still at ringside. Cena backs him into the corner to start and even messes with his hair on a headlock. Carlito gets thrown down by the hair and an elbow puts him on the floor. Back in and Cena’s release fisherman’s suplex but a glare at Orton lets Carlito get in some left hands. Cena doesn’t seem to mind and hits a swinging side slam, only to stare at Orton again. Carlito elbows him down and hammers away as the loud CENA chants pipe up. We hit the chinlock for a bit until the comeback is on but Orton gets on the apron to break up the Shuffle. The distraction lets Carlito hit a Backstabber for the fast pin.
Rating: D+. I’m so sick of seeing these two together. Carlito cheated to beat him once back in 2004 and for some reason that is enough to see these two fight on and off for YEARS after, despite Cena beating him every time outside of unimportant matches like this where Carlito cheats again. Carlito isn’t a threat to Cena but rather a nuisance and that doesn’t make for compelling television time after time.
Post match Carlito spits apple in Cena’s face and it’s the big glare from Cena to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. Good night what a bad show. I’m not sure what the point was in me seeing this one as it was a horrific night with nothing resembling a good match and what looked to be the setup for several rematches. Cena vs. Orton is getting a nice build as Orton is looking like a killer but dang there isn’t much else around here. Awful show and something I need to get away from as fast as possible.
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