Dark – May 12, 2020: Someone Call The Editor
IMG Credit: WWE
Dark
Date: May 12, 2020
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Excalibur, Taz
We’re back to the full length of this show, meaning it’s over an hour long this week. That’s quite the jump from a few weeks back when it wasn’t even breaking twenty, but things have opened up a bit since then. Hopefully they can make the show work well enough as that kind of length can be a problem given what they are going for with this show. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Excalibur and Taz give us a pretty vague preview of the show.
Shawn Dean vs. Colt Cabana
Chicago explodes and thankfully the referee is wearing a mask. Colt takes his time folding up his jacket and headlocks Dean down. Dean bails into the corner but gets taken down with a wristlock. Back up and a dropkick sends Cabana outside and things slow down a little bit. Cabana comes back in to work on the arm but gets caught in a waistlock. That just earns Dean some snap jabs and the Flying Apple sets up the Superman pin at 4:54.
Rating: C. Dean is someone they’ve been using a lot and that’s a good sign for his future. He has done well enough in spots like this though he is far from being ready to win anything. If nothing else though, this will get him all the indy cred he wants once the independents start back up. Cabana was his usual self here and that’s not a bad thing.
Jurassic Express vs. Mike Reed/Ryan Rembrandt
It’s Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus for the team here and they start wrecking things early. The Tail Whip puts Reed and Rembrandt on the floor, earning them a dive from Boy. Back in and Reed plants Boy down to take over for the first time. Rembrandt runs him over for two and a belly to belly is good for the same. Boy rolls over Reed’s back though and the hot tag brings in Luchasaurus. Reed slips out of a fireman’s carry but gets chokeslammed into a standing moonsault. Some superkicks send Reed outside and the reverse powerbomb into a cutter finishes Rembrandt at 5:39.
Rating: D+. AEW really needs to understand that it’s ok to squash people more often. Luchasaurus is a monster and shouldn’t be needing the better part of six minutes to finish these two off. It wasn’t terrible (mainly because Marko Stunt wasn’t in there), but the jobbers got in too much offense and it got a bit annoying at the end.
Lee Johnson/Musa vs. Private Party
This is the third straight match with someone from Chicago. Kassidy and Johnson trade waistlocks to start and it’s quickly off to Quen for an enziguri to take over. Musa low bridges Quen to the floor though and it’s a big dive from Johnson to drop him again. Back in and Musa snaps off a suplex for two but it’s back to Kassidy without much trouble. It’s Johnson getting caught in the corner for a splash from Quen, who tags out at the same time. Musa gets sent outside again and it’s a running Downward Spiral from the apron over the top. The shooting star press finishes Johnson at 5:36.
Rating: C-. Another match that just existed here as Private Party continues to be a team who knows how to look flashy but don’t know a ton about structuring a match. Or in this case about squashing a team of jobbers, though we’ve covered that well enough. The shooting star always looks great though and I had missed it over the last few months.
10 vs. Jon Cruz
10 shoves him down to start and takes Cruz’s head off with a clothesline. They head outside with Cruz being sent into the steps, only to have 10 miss a charge into the steps as well. Back in and 10 hits the spinebuster for the pin at 2:33 to finish in a hurry.
Post match, Brodie Lee comes out to applaud.
Fenix vs. Alan Angels
Fenix headlocks his way out of a waistlock to start but gets reversed into a small package for two. Back up and Fenix moonsaults over him and hits a hard superkick for two more. Some slaps to the head set up a leglock that lasts all of half a second. The announcers make Toru Tanaka references as Angels comes back with shots to the face.
That earns Angels a dropkick to the face and a kick to the chest. Angels is back with a springboard dropkick of his own and a clothesline on the apron drops Fenix again. Back in and a top rope double stomp to Fenix’s back sets up a moonsault for another near fall. Fenix pops back up and hits a high crossbody into the Black Fire Driver for the pin at 6:36.
Rating: C+. Match of the night so far by a mile as Fenix continues to be one of the most entertaining people in any company. He can make anyone look good and that’s what he did here. That being said, Angels didn’t quite reach the point that he did with Chris Jericho on commentary. Anyway, nice match here as they continue to make Angels look like a thing.
Dani Jordan vs. Kris Stadtlander
Dani brings out a binder. They trade headlocks to start with Stadtlander taking her down a few times in a row. Jordan is back with a crucifix for two so Stadtlander does the nose touch. A short armscissors doesn’t work for Stadtlander so she elbows Jordan to the floor. Jordan rams her back first into the apron for two back inside and a basement dropkick gets the same. Stadtlander moonsaults over her in the corner and a running knee sends Jordan into the barricade. Back in and Stadtlander hits a Pele into Big Bang Theory for the pin at 4:33.
Rating: D+. Jordan didn’t seem interested in slowing down for most of Stadtlander’s offense here and that’s where things start to go south in these matches. The point should be to promote Stadtlander, as in the person who regularly works here. Jordan sticking in there took the focus off of Stadtlander and that’s not a good idea.
Orange Cassidy vs. Jason Cade
The Best Friends are here with Cassidy beach towels. Cade won’t let him put his hands in the pockets so it’s a headlock to slow things down. Cassidy grabs a single handed wristlock and puts a hand in the pocket, so Cade tears off the sunglasses. That annoys Cassidy, so he sweeps the leg and hits a dropkick into a nipup, all with the hands still in his pockets. Trent throws in some extra sunglasses and Cassidy armdrags him down before….posing with the thumb up. That annoys Cade so much that he hits a jumping knee to the face, only to get crucifixed for the pin at 2:41. That’s another match that happened.
Post match, Cassidy gets dressed again.
Britt Baker vs. Skyler Moore
Baker immediately claims a shot to the nose AND a broken nail on the first lockup attempt! Moore grabs a rollup for two so Baker kicks her in the face. Angry stomping ensues and Baker sends her throat first into the middle rope. Baker puts her foot against Moore’s jaw and pulls a bit, allowing her to explain dental issues. Moose grabs a small package for two so Baker knees her in the face. A fisherman’s neckbreaker sets up Lockjaw (with a glove of course) to make Moore tap at 5:07.
Rating: C-. Now this was more like a squash, which makes sense as Baker is on the way to a big match this week on Dynamite. I can’t get over how much better Baker has gotten in the last month and a half or so and it shows that they can figure things out. That means a lot for their future and Baker has been a great bright spot.
Dr. Luther vs. Jimmy Havoc
No DQ and Havoc has Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford with him. This is such a big match that the sun has come back out to check it out. Luther throws him into the corner to start so Havoc bites the finger. Havoc snaps the arm across the top but Luther is back with a toss. Sabian slips Havoc a chair so he can unload, only to have Luther throw the chair at his head to break it up. A big flip dive to the floor drops Sabian and Havoc and Luther backbreakers him onto an open chair.
Back in and Havoc is hiptossed through the open chair for a nasty landing, causing Luther to scream a lot. Sabian offers a distraction though and Havoc catches Luther on top. The super hurricanrana sends Luther over the chairs so Havoc lays him on them instead. A top rope double stomp gets two so they head onto the ramp. Luther grabs a butterfly suplex and something close to a top rope bulldog sends Havoc hard into the mat. Ford throws water at Luther’s face though and Sabian pelts a chair at his head. That’s enough for Havoc to hit a fisherman’s DDT for the pin at 7:15.
Rating: C-. What exactly does it say that Havoc needed help from two people to beat Luther? I know he’s one of Jericho’s buddies and Luther certainly hasn’t embarrassed himself in any of his appearances, but Havoc probably shouldn’t be having trouble with someone who has been around that long and who doesn’t have the biggest reputation.
A quick Dynamite preview ends the show.
Overall Rating: C. Well that happened. This was almost an hour and fifteen minutes of nothing but average (above average once) matches with a lot of mid to lower midcard wrestlers. This could have and probably should have been split into three different shows, just for the sake of length. Watching three or four of these matches at once would be one thing but nine in a row is a good bit too much in a single sitting/show.
Results
Colt Cabana b. Shawn Dean – Superman pin
Jurassic Express b. Mike Reed/Ryan Rembrandt – Reverse powerbomb/cutter combination to Rembrandt
Private Party b. Lee Johnson/Musa – Shooting star press to Johnson
10 b. Jon Cruz – Spinebuster
Fenix b. Alan Angels – Black Fire Driver
Kris Stadtlander b. Dani Jordan – Big Bang Theory
Orange Cassidy b. Jason Cade – Crucifix
Britt Baker b. Skyler Moore – Lockjaw
Jimmy Havoc b. Dr. Luther – Fisherman’s DDT
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Nine mostly jobber matches in an hour show?
Good gravy.
Hour and thirteen.
Like I said: cut this up into three shows. Also, who in the world thinks it’s a good idea to bring that many people for one show?