Dark – May 26, 2020: It’s Still Going

Dark
Date: May 26, 2020
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Excalibur, Taz

It’s the first show after the very good Double Or Nothing and you know what that calls for: nearly an hour and a half of overly competitive jobber matches! I’m not sure if this is the new permanent norm or if they’re just burning off a bunch of material they taped on the off chance that they wouldn’t be able to tape for a good while. Either way, it’s hardly must see material. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Tazz makes it clear that he will not be getting into any details about his relationship with Brian Cage. That’s wrestling code for “this was taped before that happened.”

Dark Order vs. Natural Nightmares

Jon Silver/Alex Reynolds here. The Nightmares snap off an early double Russian legsweep on Reynolds to start and Dustin adds the running knee lift. Cue Allie of all people, with Marshal’’s apple. Marshall certainly seems interested and Silver uses the distraction to get in a cheap shot and take over. Reynolds’ uppercut gives Silver two but Marshall tells him to go with the chest kicks. The big one is countered in a hurry so the hot tag brings in Dustin for the house cleaning. The snap powerslam plants Silver and Marshall adds a cutter for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: C-. It’s not the biggest story but Allie eating an apple now counts as the top story on this show in about a month, if not more. I can always go for more of Allie as she is a great manager, but I’m worried about how long it might be before the angle gets any followup. If this show was taped that long ago, it could be a good while indeed.

Michael Nakazawa vs. Brandon Cutler

Cutler starts fast with a running forearm for an early two as Taz talks about Cutler’s losing streak. Nakazawa comes back with a spear but Cutler comes in from the apron with a kick to the head for his own near fall. Hold on though as Nakamura is out of oil, likely sending him into a downward spiral. Cutler keeps kicking away, despite having been busted open somewhere in there. The torture rack goes on and Nakazawa gets sent over the top. They fight on the floor and it’s Nakazawa sending him into the barricade for the first countout in AEW history at 6:20.

Rating: D. So yes, we needed to see these two have a match that actually got a little bit of time on this show. The wrestling was just there for the sake of filling in time and it’s not like either of these two mean anything. It’s why they’re here, having a glorified comedy match without ever being mentioned anywhere else.

Post match here are the Librarians, with Peter Avalon saying this is proof Cutler is the worst wrestler in the world. Therefore, Cutler can go sit on commentary and watch Avalon pick up a win.

Peter Avalon vs. Jungle Boy

Boy grabs an early headlock takeover and we’re already in the technical material. An armdrag puts Avalon on the floor but the rest of Jurassic Express won’t let him leave. The distraction lets Avalon post him and it’s a suplex for two back inside. A leg lariat gives Avalon two more and we hit the headscissors. The moonsault misses though and Boy hits a hard clothesline.

Boy’s springboard tornado DDT gets two but Avalon is back with a Meteora to the back of the head for his own near fall. Leva Bates gets on the apron for the assistance but winds up on Luchasaurus’ shoulders. Cue Marko Stunt to kiss her, meaning Boy can grab a modified STF for the tap at 7:30.

Rating: D+. The match was only somewhat better than the previous one and that’s not much of a compliment. Avalon has never been interesting and having him in a feud with Cutler over who the worst wrestler in the company is doesn’t sound too promising. As usual, there are people in wrestling companies who don’t need a story. Avalon, Cutler and Nakazawa fit the descriptions.

Serpentico vs. Christopher Daniels

Serpentico goes for the arm to start but Serpentico grabs a headlock. Some armdrags into the armbar put Serpentico down so he slugs away, only to walk into a leg lariat for two. Daniels hits a high collar suplex (Taz: “Thanks to him for stealing my gimmick.”) but Serpentico takes him down as well. A slingshot elbow gives Serpentico two but Daniels STOs him down. The release Rock Bottom into the BME gives Daniels the pin at 4:27.

Rating: C-. A little better here, but that might be due to having Daniels in there. He’s always good for a quick win and can make anyone look decent. Serpentico has been around a few times now and showed me a little more this time around. I don’t think he goes anywhere significant, but a not terrible performance is better than an awful one.

John Skyler/Brady Pearce vs. Sonny Kiss/Joey Janela

Pearce knocks Kiss down to start but Kiss kicks him into the corner for the early tag to Janela. That means Pearce gets laid over the middle rope and gets caught with a front flip ax kick to the ribs from Kiss. Skyler offers a quick distraction though and Pearce gets in a kick to the face. Janela avoids a charge though and the hot tag brings in Kiss for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Kiss kicks Pearce through the ropes, setting up the suicide dive. Back in and Janela drops a top rope elbow to finish Skyler at 4:37.

Rating: C-. This was your random partners with nothing else to do getting a win. There wasn’t much to talk about in this one but Kiss had his usual charisma turned up high. Janela continues to be someone who is just there, despite his ability to make his eyes bug out more than should be humanly possible.

Tony Donati/Faboo Andre vs. Kip Sabian/Jimmy Havoc

Penelope Ford is here with Sabian and Havoc. Andre gets jumped before the bell but manages to dropkick Sabian into the corner for what is likely the highest level of success he should expect here. Havoc comes back in and walks into a spinning middle rope crossbody from Andre. Sabian is back in to stomp Andre down in the corner, leaving Havoc to bite the face. Ford gets in a cheap shot from the floor so Havoc’s running big boot can get two.

A PK to the chest connects, though the referee said it was wide right. The lack of Stadium Stampede references as a result would tell me that there is a time gap between the tapings. The Acid Rainmaker misses though and (the bloody, from Havoc’s bite) Andre dives over for the hot tag to Donati. A hammerlock suplex gives Donati two on Sabian but he’s right back up with the hanging spinning neckbreaker. Sabian’s top rope double stomp sets up a dropkick/Michinoku Driver combination to finish Donati at 6:58.

Rating: D+. Another match that came and went as Sabian and Havoc are a fine midcard team, but there isn’t much of a reason to have them take this much time to beat a pair of jobbers with next to no experience around here. What am I supposed to get out of this? Or out of anything on this show actually?

Mr. Grimm vs. Wardlow

MJF is here with Wardlow, who slams Grimm down and stomps away in the corner to start. A missed charge sends Wardlow into the post, but he easily counters a springboard into a German suplex. The F5 is broken up but this time the running shoulder connects in the corner. A knee to the face knocks Grim out at 2:59.

Post match Wardlow hits the F10 for a bonus.

Lee Johnson vs. Colt Cabana

They shake hands to start and fight over a wristlock with Johnson bailing into the corner. As the announcers debate if Tony Schiavone or Tony’s wife is the bigger heel, Cabana gets two off a quick rollup. Cabana cranks on the arms into some crucifixes for two each until Johnson makes the mistake of firing off a chop. Johnson dropkicks him in the back to knock Cabana into the corner, which just annoys him. The Flying Apple into the Bionic elbow into the Billy Goat’s Curse finishes Johnson at 3:43.

Rating: C-. Cabana isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but at least his comedy seems to be more about chuckles than some big laugh that rarely connects. There isn’t much else to say about him, but that’s the case with most comedy wrestlers. Johnson continues to be someone they seem interested in, though that 0-8 record isn’t helping him.

KiLynn King vs. Penelope Ford

Sabian is here with Ford. King is a giant compared to Ford and grabs a headlock to start. Some standing switches don’t go anywhere so King runs her over with a shoulder. That lets King yell at Sabian, meaning Ford can get in a shot from behind. Stomping in the corner keeps King down and a suplex gives Ford two. Some choking doesn’t do much on King, who snaps off a dropkick. King misses a charge in the corner though and Ford hits a cutter for the pin at 4:53.

Rating: D+. The back and forth between eh and erg matches continues with Ford not exactly looking like a star here. Ford is talented in the ring but she needs someone better to make this work. King looked like someone who could go a little further with some more time, which is the kind of thing that you can get in this situation.

Shawn Dean/Alan Angels vs. Best Friends

Orange Cassidy is here too. Taylor works on Dean’s arm to start and adds a dropkick for a bonus. Trent comes in for the double elbow and it’s off to Angels, who is taken to the mat in a hurry. A hard clothesline cuts off Angels’ comeback but a springboard dropkick sends Trent into the corner. Dean suplexes Angels into Trent in the corner for two but Trent gets in his own suplex. The hot tag brings in Chuck to pick up the pace, including sending Dean into a spear from Chuck. Angels gets powerbombed and the big hug sets up Strong Zero for the pin on Angels at 4:24.

Rating: C. This was better just because of the shorter run time, but the #1 contenders shouldn’t be in any trouble against two guys who literally have never won a match between them around here. That’s the case with almost everyone on this show though and that hasn’t stopped them yet. Not a terrible match, but maybe I’m just numb to the Best Friends by now.

Overall Rating: D+. They did the same thing they have done for the last two weeks but this time around the matches were even weaker than usual. They weren’t terrible or anything really close to it for the most part, but it continues to be a show that you don’t need to watch in any situation. I’m assuming this was just a bunch of material they needed to burn off, but it makes me wonder how much they taped when they had the chance. This is about thirty jobber matches in three weeks. They can’t have many more, right?

Results

Natural Nightmares b. Dark Order – Cutter to Silver

Michael Nakazawa b. Brandon Cutler via countout

Jungle Boy b. Peter Avalon – STF

Christopher Daniels b. Serpentico – Best Moonsault Ever

Sonny Kiss/Joey Janela b. John Skyler/Brady Pearce – Top rope elbow to Pearce

Kip Sabian/Jimmy Havoc b. Faboo Andre/Tony Donati – Dropkick/Michinoku Driver combination to Donati

Wardlow b. Mr. Grimm via knockout

Colt Cabana b. Lee Johnson – Billy Goat’s Curse

Penelope Ford b. KiLynn King – Cutter

Best Friends b. Shawn Dean/Alan Angels – Strong Zero to Angels

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6