Monday Night Raw – September 17, 2007: Cena Is Magically Delicious
IMG Credit: WWE
Monday Night Raw
Date: September 17, 2007
Location: Sommet Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Another request for reasons I’m not clear on. It’s the night after Unforgiven and John Cena is still Raw World Champion, believe it or not. We’re on the way to No Mercy and Randy Orton isn’t likely to leave Cena alone. I’m not sure what to expect from this and that’s often a nice feeling to have. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at Orton attacking Cena’s father, including giving him the Punt. That caused Cena Sr. to Punt Orton last night, setting up another Cena vs. Orton showdown, this time in a Last Man Standing match.
Here’s Cena to get things going with….an apology. It’s true that he has been having some pent up aggression lately, but tonight he feels FABULOUS! Last night he lost to Randy Orton, which just kind of rolls off the tongue. He needs to thank his dad for being so brave and showing up like a great dad would. Orton is stupid enough to think that Cena was stupid enough to get disqualified last night, just to set up a rematch.
That brings him to Jonathan Coachman, who has given Orton just what he wants: a Last Man Standing match at No Mercy. That means no rules, no pinfalls and no disqualifications. What he did to Orton last night will be perfectly legal so he’s going through Orton like a hot knife through butter. Cue Coach to say he isn’t happy with Cena, so tonight it’s Orton vs. Cena…..Sr. JR: “This cannot be right!”
Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin
Jeff is defending and is banged up after being taken out by Great Khali last week. Hardy starts fast with the legdrop between the legs for two and we hit the armbar. Shelton reverses into one of his own but gets put on the apron and kicked out to the floor. A dive to the floor hits Shelton and we take a break. Back with Shelton holding a seated abdominal stretch and then grabbing a hot shot for two.
A running knee to the face sets up a neckbreaker for two more on Hardy and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Hardy pops up for a double clothesline to put them both down again. Back up and the Whisper in the Wind connects but the Twist of Fate is countered into a backbreaker. Hardy’s suplex is countered into a reverse DDT for two so Shelton takes him up top. This time the superplex attempt is blocked though and the Swanton retains the title.
Rating: B-. Good stuff here, as was commonplace for Hardy around this time. He was rapidly becoming a bigger and bigger star as the title did so much for him. It wasn’t surprising to see him move up to the World Title scene shortly after this, and it was certainly a big hit when he moved up to the next level.
The Diva Search girls played beach volleyball. Oh and had a limbo contest on WWE.com. At least they kept it short.
Coach comes to see Vince McMahon in his limo because the boss isn’t happy about his illegitimate son Hornswoggle, who is restrained in a car seat and eating his Lucky Charms. It’s because he’s a child you see, with Coach carrying him away.
Cena Sr. insists he is wrestling tonight.
Vince and Coach hear Irish music in his office, and there are several boxes of Lucky Charms, green and white balloons, and more music playing. Hornswoggle pops out of a pile of coins, shouts HI DAD, and throws them at Coach before running away. Vince meets a donkey with a horn strapped to its head.
Daivari vs. Jim Duggan
Flag match, with the flags hanging above the ring and the winner being the first to pull it down. Daivari gets slammed off the top for daring to go after the flag but Duggan gets stopped as well. They fight to the top with Duggan sending him into the flag pole, which sends Daivari crashing to the floor so Duggan can win.
Cody Rhodes volunteers to face Orton in Cena Sr.’s place. Coach says no but Cena Jr. says he won’t be responsible if that match isn’t called off. Actually Coach isn’t done yet, and puts him in a match with an opponent of Coach’s choosing. If Cena wins, his dad is out of the match. Otherwise, the match goes on.
Here’s Vince to discuss his son Hornswoggle, who comes out for some dancing. Vince doesn’t like that, but Hornswoggle does seem to like the idea of inheriting some of Vince’s fortune. The point that Vince wants to make is that money doesn’t buy happiness…..so a nice couple is adopting Hornswoggle!
Cue Ed and Alice Koskey, with their attorney of course, but Hornswoggle says don’t do it. Ed is quickly pantsed and choked (JR: “HE’S HAD TOO MUCH CHOCOLATE!”), followed by a bite to Alice. The Koskeys leave and Vince tells Hornswoggle to get out of his life. Cue HHH to a big ovation, so Vince tells the fans to shut up. HHH takes credit for decorating Vince’s office (HHH: “Do you know how hard it is to find a unicorn in Nashville, Tennessee?”) and says he knew Vince liked trolls, but not fairies and hobgoblins.
Vince: “I’ve never slept with fairies!” HHH: “That’s not what I read on the internet.” HHH makes various short jokes so Vince asks if he’s finished. HHH: “That’s the same thing Hornswoggle’s mom asked you the night you slipped her the shillelagh?” Various jokes about the night with Hornswoggle’s mom ensue so Vince makes a handicap match for right now.
HHH vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch
Cade and Murdoch’s Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. Joined in progress with HHH shoving Murdoch out to the floor but Carlito comes out for a distraction so Cade can hit a running neckbreaker. Murdoch grabs a Blockbuster for two as the fans are all over Carlito. The chinlock doesn’t last long and the comeback is on with HHH cleaning house. Murdoch is sent outside and it’s the spinebuster to finish Cade in a hurry.
Rating: D+. That’s how you treat your Tag Team Champions of course, but that’s almost the kind of thing you’re guaranteed to see from WWE. They haven’t thought much of the titles for a long time and while HHH is far from some fluke win, it’s very rarely a good sign to see the champs lose clean in a short match.
Post match Carlito comes in to go after HHH but Paul London and Brian Kendrick run out for the save. HHH beats up everyone, including London and Kendrick.
Melina/Jillian Hall vs. Candice Michelle/Mickie James
Candice is Women’s Champion and Beth Phoenix, who she beat last night, is at ringside. Mickie kicks Melina in the ribs to start but Jillian shoves her off the top so Melina can take over. Some shots to the head allow Mickie to get over for the hot tag to Candice. House is cleaned until Jillian gets in a cheap shot from behind. That’s about it though as Candice grabs the Candy Wrapper (Unprettier) to finish Jillian in a hurry.
Post match, Beth hands Candice the title and gives her a threatening glare.
We look at the Condemned, starring Steve Austin.
Coach says he has disposed of Hornswoggle and Vince is a proud papa. Vince goes to leave….and Hornswoggle is in the trunk.
John Cena vs. ???
It’s non-title and Coach’s pick for an opponent is….Santino Marella? Cena wastes no time and hits the Shuffle in less than thirty seconds but here’s Orton to jump Cena for the DQ in less than a minute.
Post match Orton and Santino (there’s an oddball tag team) beat Cena down and handcuff Cena to the ropes. Cue Coach to say that Cena didn’t quite get the idea: he had to win by PINFALL, so Orton vs. Cena Sr. is still on.
Randy Orton vs. John Cena Sr.
For some reason, Orton walks to the back for the commercial and then comes back for the regular entrance. Cena Jr. is still handcuffed to the rope as Orton knees his dad in the ribs. The beatdown is on until Cody Rhodes runs in for the DQ.
Post match Orton sends Cody into the steps and RKO’s Cena Sr. but Jr. unhooks the bottom rope to escape. Orton is chased off and Cena checks on his dad to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. There wasn’t much in the way of wrestling tonight but I was intrigued by the story they were telling throughout most of the show. The Cena stuff is a good story and makes me want to see Cena tear Orton apart. The problem is that other than the Cena story and Hardy vs. Benjamin, this was a pretty horrible show from a time that isn’t very fondly remembered. Good enough show for the two parts, but that’s all they had here. Oh and HHH’s leprechaun jokes to Vince were funny too, but I have a soft spot for how horribly stupid that whole story was.
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