Monday Night Raw – March 1, 1993: Viva Las Bad Commentator Humor

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 1, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Rob Bartlett

You can tell we’re in a different era of the show here as we aren’t even ten episodes into the series. This is about a month away from Wrestlemania IX and that means things are going to be a little dull for a good while. I’m not sure what to expect, but this is back when they didn’t know what they were doing with Raw yet. Let’s get to it.

Rob Bartlett is Elvis. I don’t want to know.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Fatu

Bret is defending of course and Afa is at ringside. Fatu shoves him around to start as commentary does every Elvis line they can think of. An early elbow misses for Fatu and Bret starts in on the arm. The armbar goes on but Bret gets thrown down and, say it with me, hurts his knee (Vince thinks Afa tripped him, despite Bret being on an opposite side of the ring).

The rollup gets two and we’re back to the armbar. Bret tries a faceplant so Fatu pops up and superkicks him down (I’ve always loved that spot). We hit the nerve hold for a good while before an elbow cuts Bret down for two. Bret is back up with a crossbody for two but Fatu sends him outside where Samu runs in for a slam. We take a break and come back with Fatu hitting a backbreaker as Bartlett continues with the Elvis nonsense.

There’s a piledriver for two on Bret, who seems to have a broken nose. A whip into the corner gets two so Bartlett talks about Clambake. The middle rope headbutt gives Fatu two more so he goes up again, this time getting crotched and superplexed for two. The backbreaker into the middle rope elbow sets up the Sharpshooter but Afa offers a distraction. Samu gets in a cheap shot but Bret sends them into each other, which gets Samu’s head tied in the ropes (always looks scary). Afa is dropkicked off the apron and the Sharpshooter gives Bret the win at 16:24.

Rating: C+. I know he is best known as a less than serious wrestler but Fatu is someone who can have a good match if he is given a chance. Then you put him in there with one of the best ever and there isn’t much more you could expect. Having Bret beat some monsters, even three of them at once, is a good way to set up Wrestlemania so well done on the thinking.

Bartlett is having a sandwich and popcorn. Oh yeah it’s 1993.

It’s time for the Wrestlemania Report with Gene Okerlund, who never felt right on Raw. We run down part of the card and this just does not feel like Wrestlemania. It isn’t as bad as people remember it being, but it’s such a weak Wrestlemania and that’s what ruined the thing. Gene throws it back to Savage, while making Joey Buttafucco jokes. That would be a case involving a relationship with an underage woman, which Savage said never would have happened if she had met him first. These jokes would write themselves, but that’s not exactly a funny situation.

Crush is on the beach in Hawaii and crushes a coconut like he’s going to do against Doink.

Doink The Clown vs. Koko B. Ware

Doink comes out with a present to be creepy, so Bartlett talks about how much he loves him and hopes there is food in the box. Doink goes straight to the leg as Vince explains the idea of Doink being a clown but also a wrestler, which at least touches on the rather interesting idea they had here. The leg work continues and it’s the Stump Puller to finish Koko at 1:48. This worked better than it should have.

Post match Bartlett gets to do the interview with Doink because Vince is going to get his money’s worth out of this one way or another. Bartlett hopes there is food in the box and gets a pie in the face. Bartlett: “Hey man that’s great!”

Here’s Money Inc. for a chat. Ted DiBiase talks about the former CEO of American Express only getting $700,000 in retirement money every year, plus millions in bonuses. They are dropping American Express because that’s just horrible to hear. As for Wrestlemania, they can’t believe that Hulk Hogan is coming out of retirement after a year in Hollywood.

All Hogan has done is take away one of their biggest wastes of money by getting rid of Jimmy Hart. IRS says they care about themselves and promise to hurt Hogan worse than they hurt Brutus Beefcake. They hold up the briefcase, which has Hogan’s face on it. Granted it has all of his upper body on it but saying it has his shoulder on it doesn’t sound as good. And sure they’ll put the Tag Team Titles on the line at Wrestlemania.

Lex Luger vs. PJ Walker

Walker is better known as Justin Credible and looks to be about 14. Luger starts whipping him into the corner as Bobby Heenan calls in from Beverly Hills to complain about going on the road for All American Wrestling. He also thinks Elvis is George Steinbrenner because they’re bringing Heenan down with this gag as well. Luger hits a suplex as Heenan puts “Priscilla Presley” on the phone as Elvis wants to see Luger make his chest bounce. The forearm finishes Walker at 3:08.

Rating: D. Good freaking grief enough with the “comedy” already. The fact that your wrestling show isn’t enough to entertaining the fans might suggest that some changes need to be made, but that didn’t stop them for years. Heenan was funny enough, but egads get some better material.

Post match, Luger says Walker makes him sick.

Vince tells us to stay tuned for the Steiner Brothers, Rob and Scott.

Steiner Brothers vs. Duane Gill/Barry Hardy

Scott runs Hardy over to start and throws him around with the belly to belly. Rick comes in for the running clothesline to the floor before driving Hardy ribs first into the corner. There’s the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker as Bartlett is now denying that he is Steinbrenner. A dropkick sends Gill flying and there’s the tiger bomb. The Frankensteiner is good for the pin at 4:08.

Rating: C-. I could watch the Steiners beat people up for days and this worked rather well. If nothing else it was a way to avoid listening to Bartlett’s horrible shtick. The Frankensteiner might be a common move now but it was one of the coolest finishers ever in 1993 and it still looks good today. Throw in all of the suplexes and this was the fun Steiners formula, as expected.

Quick preview for next week wraps it up.

Overall Rating: D+. Rob Bartlett’s Elvis nonsense killed this show and for the life of me I don’t know why they kept doing stuff with him. He seems to be a funny enough guy but it feels so completely out of place here and it’s killing a lot of stuff that wasn’t very good in the first place. The show was its usual fare for the early days, but get him out of there as soon as possible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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