Dark – October 13, 2020: NOPE!
IMG Credit: All Elite Wrestling
Dark
Date: October 13, 2020
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Excalibur, Taz
It’s the night before the big anniversary show and that means we have a lot to cover in the near future. I’m not sure what we we are going to be seeing tonight, but there are fourteen matches, which is likely going to make this one of the longer shows in its history so far. You know how much I’ll love that. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Commentary welcome.
Evil Uno vs. Blade vs. Frankie Kazarian vs. Jungle Boy
One fall to a finish and there are no seconds. It’s a brawl to start with Uno and Blade being knocked outside in a hurry. Kazarian sweeps Boy’s leg out for two but Boy stacks him up for two more. Boy’s legsweep misses and it’s a standoff, allowing Uno to take Boy’s place. Kazarian clotheslines Uno down so here’s Blade, who gets taken down with a springboard wristdrag.
Kazarian’s bridging electric chair gets two on Boy but Uno is back in with a suplex for the same. A neckbreaker with the wrist tape drops Boy for two more, leaving Blade and Uno to chop it out. Everyone is back inside and Boy monkey flips Kazarian, who hits the other two with a double clothesline. Kazarian pulls Boy into the slingshot cutter before fisherman’s suplexing Blade for two.
Uno’s backbreaker gets two more on Boy but Blade powerbombs him out of the corner. Kazarian grabs the slingshot DDT on Blade but Boy is back in with stereo crossbodies to Kazarian to put everyone down. Boy gets caught on top so Kazarian and Blade fight over who gets to give him a superplex. Uno breaks that up, only to get caught in a rollup to give Boy the pin at 8:31.
Rating: C. They telegraphed the ending a bit by talking about Boy being in the #1 contenders tournament but at the same time, a four way is the kind of match which could go in a variety of ways without hurting the most important name. It was a good opener and felt more important, though that isn’t likely to be the case for everything tonight. Boy winning is a good thing though and it’s not like Uno loses anything significant by taking the fall.
Post match Uno jumps Boy and calls out the Dark Order but here are Christopher Daniels and SCU for the save, with Luchasaurus beating up various people.
Lucha Bros vs. Cezar Bononi/Lee Johnson
Penta yells at Bononi to start and gets run over by a shoulder. Fenix comes in for a handspring kick to Johnson’s face and it’s back to Penta, who takes too long yelling. Bononi gets the tag and starts cleaning house, including World’s Strongest Slamming Penta and powerbombing Fenix at the same time. Fenix is back up with a springboard wristdrag to set up a low top rope double stomp from Penta to put Bononi down. The double superkick look to set up the spike Fear Factor but Johnson makes the save. Penta is right back with a Sling Blade and Fenix kicks Bononi down. Now the spike Fear Factor can finish Johnson at 5:04.
Rating: C-. I wasn’t into this one as much as they didn’t get to the drama for the most part. It was fine enough as the Lucha Bros can do their thing, but they need someone better to work off of. Bononi and Johnson are just two guys facing them, and that’s not exactly the best use of the Lucha Bros. Then again that has been the case for months so maybe they need a new direction.
Brandon Cutler vs. Peter Avalon
They’re at it again and Avalon jumps him from behind during the entrances. A tiger bomb plants Cutler on the ramp and Avalon demands that he be declared the winner. The bell rings anyway so it’s a running dropkick to send Cutler outside again, meaning the count is on. Three straight belly to back suplexes set up a half crab but Cutler makes the rope. Back up and Avalon charges into a boot to the face, allowing Avalon to hit a kick to the head.
They head outside where Avalon yells at Leva Bates, allowing Cutler to hit a suicide dive. The springboard elbow gives Cutler two back inside but Avalon is back with the Rock Bottom for the same. Cutler grabs a reverse inverted DDT for his second two so he tries the big dice but Leva talks him out of it. Back in and Avalon hits a running clothesline before picking up a book. The referee gets decked as Cutler picks Avalon up, meaning there is no count off Cutler’s gutbuster. Cutler rips up the book so Avalon grabs the dice, meaning they hit each other at the same time for the double DQ at 7:32.
Rating: C. This worked, but it needs to be the last screwy finish. Throw some kind of a gimmick out there or something, but end it with the next one. Both guys wanting desperately to win their first match is a clever way to go and the double DQ was the most logical after the double countout. This worked out well, but you can probably guarantee a time limit draw in there somewhere.
Sonny Kiss is ready to show he’s a singles star as well.
Sonny Kiss vs. Matt Sydal
Sydal armdrags him down a few times into a front facelock but Sonny is right back with a running dropkick. Back up and Sydal hits a spinwheel kick and we hit the third eye jazz. Sydal takes him down into a stretch, with Taz and Excalibur arguing over what kind of a grip he is using. A fisherman’s buster gives Sydal two but Sonny is back with forearms into a running Downward Spiral. The running splits splash gives Sonny two but the middle rope version misses. Sydal ties the legs up and grabs a cobra clutch to make Sonny tap at 5:40.
Rating: C-. This was just a step above a squash for Sydal, who never quite felt like he was in jeopardy. Part of that is due to where Sonny is on the card, but the other problem is he is much more of a gymnast than anything else and it doesn’t exactly make him seem like a threat. Not a bad match, but not a dramatic one either.
Dark Order vs. Aaron Solow/M’Badu/Angel Fashion
It’s 3/4/10 for the Order here. Silver slams Solow down to start but Solow is back with a dropkick. M’Badu comes in and pounds away on Silver, who fails at a shoulder block. Fashion comes in to kick Reynolds’ leg out and adds a running knee to the face for two. It’s off to Vance for a running cutter, followed by a neckbreaker from Reynolds.
Fashion manages to back flip his way to freedom and makes the tag off to M’Badu to clean house. Solow comes back in but gets cut off by Vance’s slingshot spear. That means Solow is lifted into the air for a running charge from Silver, flipping Solow down for the crash and the pin at 5:47.
Rating: D+. M’Badu was the only thing of value here, as the Dark Order continues to be fine and not much else. Silver has grown on me a bit and is showing some personality though, making him the lone member of the lower half of the team to do so. Another match that could have been trimmed, but AEW LOVES the Dark Order so that wasn’t an option.
Red Velvet vs. Elayna Black
Brandi is on commentary because she’s Brandi and needs to be around a lot. Black on the other hand comes out with a mini coffin, containing an AEW face guard. Black’s waistlock is broken up in a hurry and Velvet armdrags her down. Velvet does it again and adds a dropkick for a bonus. Brandi thinks Velvet should be called Lil Cupcake but gets cut off by Black kicking out the leg. Black mocks the stirring deal but Velvet is back with some running clotheslines. A Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog sets up some running double knees to Black’s back. Just Desserts (a running kick to the side of the head) finishes Black at 3:32.
Rating: C-. Velvet is someone who could be a bit of a player if she is given the chance to grow and a win is the first step. It’s rather nice to see this show FINALLY starting to boost up some of these people who we have seen so many times already. It’s long overdue and helps a lot so if Velvet is someone they can build, good for them.
Ricky Starks vs. Fuego del Sol
Commentary makes fun of Sol, a luchador, being from Alabama. Starks unloads on him in the corner before sending Sol into various corners. There’s a big toss across the ring and Starks elbows him in the face, giving us a THIS IS MY HOUSE. Sol gets sent hard over the top and out onto the ramp, with Starks dragging him over near commentary. Starks jumps on commentary to say this is AEW Starks before taking it back to the ring. Sol’s comeback doesn’t work as it’s the spear into the Roshambo to give Starks the pin at 3:05.
Rating: C-. The match was completely one sided but you can feel the star power with Starks. He gets in there and commands attention, looks great and backs it up in the ring. What else could you ask for from someone who is 26 years old? Starks has been a complete steal and I could go for a lot more of him as he gains experience.
Scorpio Sky and Christopher Daniels are asked if Shawn Spears is in their heads so here’s Spears to ask the same. Sky is ready to fight so Tully Blanchard makes the match for next week.
Starks joins commentary.
Gunn Club vs. Ryzin/Maxx Stardom
They’re trolling us with the Gunn Club right? Ryzin stomps Austin down in the corner to start as Team Taz doesn’t like Ryzin wearing the orange and black. Austin is right back with a Hennig necksnap for two and Billy comes in for a running boot to the face. A spinning slam plants Stardom but it’s back to Ryzin for a backbreaker into a neckbreaker on Austin. Back up and a double clothesline allows the double tag to Billy and Stardom. The Fameasser misses though and Ryzin hits a superkick. Austin is right back in though and the Quick Draw finishes Stardom at 4:47.
Rating: D. This was every Gunn Club match you’ve seen so far and that isn’t likely to change. They’re probably about 9-0 at this point and have never so much as come close to going after the titles. It’s like running on a treadmill but there is nothing to see in the first place. The team just sticks around no matter what and never goes anywhere, only making them the most expendable thing that shows up on this show far too frequently.
Darby Allin vs. Nick Comoroto
Comoroto is a very hairy man in an untied straitjacket (good look to him). Allin gets shoved into the corner to start as Team Taz is now cheering for Comoroto. There’s another hard whip into the corner to put Allin down again and a slam gives Comoroto two. He whips Allin into the corner a third time for two and a backbreaker cuts Allin off for two more.
Allin flips his way to the apron and snaps the arm across the rope. There’s a dropkick to the knee and an armbar over the ropes has Comoroto in more trouble. A Fujiwara armbar sends Comoroto into the ropes so Allin goes to the middle rope to take him down by the arm. The Coffin Drop finishes Comoroto at 5:42.
Rating: C. Allin continues to impress and it makes sense to keep him around so much. The Coffin Drop looks good as a finisher too and I want to see more of him against Team Taz. At the same time, Comoroto looks like he could be a good monster around here, though that won’t be as effective if he loses seven or eight matches around here first. Nice debut showing here though, partially because he looks like a werewolf.
Post match Allin charges at Starks for the brawl.
KiLynn King wants to fight Nyla Rose again. This was an intense promo and I could go for more of King, either wrestling or talking.
Colt Cabana vs. Griff Garrison
Yes we are now at three Dark Order matches on one show. Cabana takes him down in a hurry and it’s time to fight over arm control. Garrison hits a kick to the face but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Cabana to stomp away. A spinebuster looks to set up the Billy Goat’s Curse but Garrison heads straight to the ropes. Back up and Garrison hits a rolling elbow, followed by a running splash in the corner. Cabana gets his boots up though and the Flying Apple connects. The middle rope splash gets two and Cabana is surprised. Cabana trips him down and it’s the Billy Goat’s Curse to make Garrison tap at 4:40.
Rating: D+. Another match which came and went, though Cabana is a lot more polished than most of the people on the roster. He’s been around forever and knows what works on him so it makes sense to have him out there fairly often. They have seemingly dropped the issues with Cabana and Lee, but I’m not sure how much further it could have gone anyway.
KiLynn King vs. Nyla Rose
Vickie Guerrero is here with Rose. King gets shoved down to start so she goes with the strikes to have Rose in a bit of trouble. Back up and Rose hits the fall away slam but misses a charge into the corner. Rose sends her flying with a release German suplex and the Beast Bomb finishes at 1:54. What a waste of a good promo.
Post match Vickie says she wants a better opponent. They are the Vicious Vixens and demand an answer. It’s either Hikaru Shida for the Women’s Title or Rose doesn’t wrestle.
Joey Janela vs. D3
Sonny Kiss is here with Joey. They go to the mat to start and D3 grabs a rollup for two. Janela is back up with a running shoulder but gets caught in the very spinning anklescissors. That’s broken up with a simple drop to send D3 face first into the mat, marking a rather smart counter.
A neckbreaker gives Janela two but D3 is back with his own neckbreaker. Commentary mostly ignores the match to talk about Italian ice until Janela gets their attention with a spinning Death Valley Driver on the floor. Back in and Joey hits a running clothesline before screaming a bit. Three brainbusters knock D3 silly and Janela finally pins him at 5:04.
Rating: D+. So now Janela gets aggressive to beat a jobber? That’s what we’re going with now? Janela continues to be someone who is just there and that isn’t exactly inspiring stuff. I know he’s a big deal on the indy scene, but it isn’t translating here and one match where he hits a bunch of brainbusters isn’t going to make it work.
Wardlow vs. Elijah Dean
Dean wears bright purple and pink and is from Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Wardlow shoves him down and takes the leg out to put Dean in more trouble. Dean’s shots to the chest earn him a big toss and a hard clothesline makes it even worse. Wardlow powers him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs before putting Dean on the top. Dean is dropped down onto a knee to the face for the knockout at 1:53. So we needed to add in this total Wardlow squash to build him up for a tournament he is already in because he has been built up in matches like this? And it just NEEDED to be tonight?
Eddie Kingston vs. Baron Black
Black has to go straight to the knee to escape an early grappling attempt so Kingston knocks him down. The big chops have Black in more trouble but he hits a discus clothesline in the corner. An exploder suplex drops Kingston again, only to have Eddie come back with the spinning backfist. A front chancery makes Black tap at 2:47.
Kingston shouts for Jon Moxley.
Preview for Dynamite FINALLY wraps this up.
Overall Rating: D. NOPE! This was one of the most infuriating shows I can remember in a long time and it made me long for a good old fashioned three hour Raw. After six matches, I looked at the clock and after my eyes bugged out, it dawned on me that we had another EIGHT to go. They crammed every single thing they could in here and a grand total of nothing stands out because there were fourteen matches, plus promos, with the big stories being a match set up for next week and Cutler vs. Avalon continuing.
This was so stupidly long and there is zero reason for it to be. How many matches could you just not do and have the same result? There were a few things on here which felt somewhat more important than usual but they all get forgotten because we need the Gunn Club and three Dark Order matches and Sonny Kiss/Joey Janela in singles matches and a squash from Nyla Rose, Wardlow and Eddie Kingston. This was so annoying and I don’t remember the last time a show got on my nerves so much. And of course they’ll do it again and the answer will be “just don’t watch it”, because that’s easier than making a show better.
Results
Jungle Boy b. Evil Uno, Frankie Kazarian and Blade – Rollup to Uno
Lucha Bros b. Cezar Bononi/Lee Johnson – Spike Fear Factor to Johnson
Brandon Cutler vs. Peter Avalon went to a double DQ when both used weapons
Matt Sydal b. Sonny Kiss – Cobra clutch
Dark Order b. M’Badu/Aaron Solow/Angel Fashion – Double flipping slam to Solow
Red Velvet b. Elayna Black – Just Desserts
Ricky Starks b. Fuego del Sol – Roshambo
Gunn Club. Ryzin/Maxx Stardom – Quick Draw to Stardom
Darby Allin b. Nick Comoroto – Coffin Drop
Colt Cabana b. Griff Garrison – Billy Goat’s Curse
Nyla Rose b. KiLynn King – Beast Bomb
Joey Janela b. D3 – Brainbuster
Wardlow b. Elijah Dean – Knee to the face
Eddie Kingston b. Baron Black – Front chancery
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