Smackdown – June 30, 2006: When JBL Rants
IMG Credit: WWE
Smackdown
Date: June 30, 2006
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re done with Vengeance and that means we can officially start getting ready for the Great American Bash. I’m not sure what we should be expecting there, but somehow we have another King Booker vs. Bobby Lashley match, this time inside of a cage. They really like that match and I can kind of get why, but they might want to move on. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
We open with a look back at Mark Henry destroying Rey Mysterio until Chavo Guerrero made the save and caused Henry to get disqualified. Pain seems imminent.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Mark Henry to complain about Chavo Guerrero costing him the World Title. Henry has injured a lot of people, like Batista, Chris Benoit, Undertaker and Kurt Angle. Now it’s time to do the same thing to Chavo, who comes out to say Henry needs some anger management. Chavo thinks Henry is trying to goad him out of retirement, so Henry says he spits on the Guerrero name. If Eddie Guerrero was here, Henry would spit on him too. Chavo comes to the ring and gets destroyed, with Rey Mysterio’s save attempt completely failing as well. Henry destroys Rey even more and leaves with a big smile.
Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Super Crazy
Helms is defending. Crazy goes for the leg to start and Helms bails over to the ropes in a hurry. A missile dropkick sends Helms outside and the dive connects as well. Back in and Helms catches him on top with a neck snap across the rope to take over. A swinging neckbreaker gives Helms two and we hit the chinlock. Crazy’s comeback is countered with a backbreaker but he’s fine enough to knock Helms off the top. The second dropkick sets up a standing moonsault for two on Helms….and here’s Psicosis to jump Helms for the DQ to cost Crazy the title.
Rating: C. Crazy was showing some good fire here, as it almost seems like it’s a little bit easier to be taken seriously when you don’t come to the ring on a lawn mower. The match was a speedy and fairly competitive match, but the ending was the right way to go given what they did with the Mexicools.
Post match the brawling continues with Psicosis bailing.
King Booker and Queen Sharmell yell at Teddy Long about the cage match but it isn’t being changed. Booker compares himself to Gladiator and promises to end Lashley and it’s all going to be on Long’s bald head.
Batista is back next week.
Pit Bulls vs. Marty Garner/???
The Pit Bulls are Jamie Noble/Kid Kash with the collars and chains. They jump Garner and the other guy not worth naming to get things going in a hurry. The double teaming is on and some double stomping in the corner sets up a clothesline. We hit the neck crank on not Garner and it’s back to Kash to pound him down without much effort.
Garner manages to come in and is thrown off the top in a big crash. Another clothesline lets the Pit Bulls run them over again as JBL can’t get over Garner’s pants. A powerbomb/top rope clothesline finishes Garner, with JBL saying that we haven’t seen something like the Doomsday Device since the 1990s. Yeah I’d forget about the Heidenreich experiment too.
Rating: C-. Total squash, but the Pit Bulls were showing a lot of intensity. The problem is going to be their size, but if they can go like this it can work out. Also it helps when the Tag Team Champions weigh about 119lbs soaking wet. Good enough for what it was and now they get to see where they can go from here.
Divas Search video.
Ashley Massaro, last year’s winner, says the Diva Search is about having a good time. Look at all the doors it opens up. Kristal was in the top ten and look where she is now. Kristal: “I finished fourth b****!” And she’s gone, because this is how WWE writes conversations between women.
Bobby Lashley is ready for the cage match because Booker doesn’t know what he’s in for.
Finlay vs. Matt Hardy
This is a rematch from five months ago when Finlay beat the heck out of Hardy in his debut. The Leprechaun sneaks around during Hardy’s entrance but Hardy doesn’t see him. Finlay starts fast by blasting him with a clothesline for two but Hardy is back up with some right hands. An elbow to the face and an elbow drop give Hardy two, with Finlay claiming something in his eye. That doesn’t last long as Finlay gets a boot up in the corner, only to dive into a raised boot.
Finlay is fine enough to take him down into a chinlock as JBL goes on a rant about everything Hardy does other than trying to become a top star. The turnbuckle pad is ripped off but Hardy knocks him off the top and hits the legdrop. Hardy knocks Finlay outside but the Leprechaun pulls Finlay under the ring. The distraction lets Finlay take over as the Leprechaun throws JBL a can of Guinness. The shillelagh (dang I spelled that right) is brought in so the referee takes it away, allowing Finlay to drop Hardy onto the exposed buckle. That’s enough to set up the Celtic Cross for the easy pin.
Rating: C. They beat each other up well enough here and Finlay is becoming quite the solid midcard villain. Throw in the Leprechaun somehow actually working and I’m getting into seeing Finlay every week. Granted some of that might be due to JBL being such a huge Leprechaun fan and selling the heck out of it.
Clip of the Miz winning on Fear Factor.
Mr. Kennedy vs. Gunner Scott
Scott starts in on the arm but gets poked in the eye and sent into the ropes. Some elbows to the back give Kennedy two but another one misses, allowing Scott to send him into the buckle. Kennedy slams him down by the head though and the Kenton Bomb finishes Scott in a hurry.
Rating: D+. As usual, Kennedy is much better with the talking than the actual wrestling so it isn’t quite the dominant performance. The charisma is more than enough to carry him for a long way though and that’s all that matters. Scott has completely fallen apart though, and given that he wasn’t exactly a big star in the first place, I can’t say I’m overly surprised.
Post match Kennedy loads up the catchphrase but here are Great Khali and Daivari. Kennedy bails so Khali wrecks Scott and puts him in a body bad. Daivari asks where Undertaker is and challenges him to face Khali in a Punjabi Prison match at the Great American Bash. Khali strikes Undertaker’s pose as JBL sounds terrified of actually seeing the match.
Raw Rebound.
Miz hypes up tonight’s cage match.
Earlier today, Vito, in the dress, went dress shopping. A lack of hilarity ensued.
Vito vs. Simon Dean
Dean is freaked out at Vito’s shaved legs as JBL makes various references to Vito’s orientation. Vito hammers away on Dean but gets knocked down, revealing that he is wearing women’s underwear (which are blurred out). That’s enough to send JBL into a crazed rant about how he has wrestled everywhere and spent years getting to WWE and now he is watching a man in women’s clothes facing a fitness guru on a scooter.
Dean grabs a chinlock as JBL makes all kinds of jokes about Cole. That makes Cole say that at least the underwear matches the dress. JBL: “I want hazard pay.” Vito fights back with clotheslines and a suplex, into the top rope elbow. The dress goes over Dean’s head as Vito grabs the armbar for the tap.
Rating: D. What is there even to say about the Vito stuff? It’s as cheap heat as you can get and that works out well enough, but they can’t think that this has any kind of a shelf life. JBL’s insane rants are funny though, as he sounds completely indignant that he is actually seeing this stuff (I mean…..fair enough).
Sylvan thinks you would love the Montreal nightlife.
We recap Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker. They have fought a few times in the last month and traded wins, but Lashley is tired of dealing with Booker’s goons. Therefore, it’s in a cage tonight.
US Title: King Booker vs. Bobby Lashley
Lashley is defending in a cage. William Regal is here for the All Hail King Booker chants and JBL gushes over Queen Sharmell’s beauty. Lashley starts fast by driving shoulders to the ribs in the corner but Booker sends him face first into the cage. Finlay is out here as well as Booker hammers away with right hands and chops. A suplex out of the corner gets Lashley out of trouble and Booker gets sent into the cage.
The spinebuster plants Booker again but Finlay is waiting on Lashley as he tries to get out. The cage is slammed onto Lashley’s head but he’s fine enough to grab the leg and pull Booker back inside. We take a break and come back with Lashley being sent face first into the middle buckle, only to catch Booker’s escape attempt again. The Book End plants Lashley and the ax kick does it again but it’s still not enough to let Booker escape.
Lashley is back up with an elbow to the face for two so Booker goes after the heavily taped up legs. The Boston crab goes on so Lashley makes the rope (which is good for a break in a cage match because reasons), sending JBL into a rant about the USA losing to Ghana in the World Cup. Lashley is back up with a running powerslam but Regal and Finlay are waiting on the floor with chairs to block the escape. They go up top again with Lashley tossing him down and then escaping over the top to retain (I guess Regal and Finlay were off getting peanuts).
Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one as it wasn’t much of a match in the first place and then Lashley just calmly won after slamming him off the top. They didn’t play up much drama in the whole thing and Booker only remembered the big knee bandages with a few minutes left. Their previous stuff was much better and I’m not sure what went wrong here. It wasn’t a disaster but quite disappointing given what they had built up.
Lashley drops Finlay and gets out to end the show.
Well almost end the show as we get one more video for Batista’s return next week.
Overall Rating: D+. Pretty weak show overall as they have all but punted on Mysterio meaning anything with the title. He has been a lame duck since he won the thing and with Batista being back next week, things are only going to get worse. The rest of the show wasn’t exactly great and felt like a bunch of stuff thrown together instead of any kind of an eventful episode. It came off as several fresh/yet to be established named being thrown out there and that doesn’t make for the best night. But then everything changes with Batista getting back next week so it doesn’t matter all that much.
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