Rampage – December 23, 2022: I Love Garfield’s Pet Force

Rampage
Date: December 23, 2022
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, Chris Jericho

We’re still in front of one of those crazy Texas crowds and in this case there is a rather unique match. This time around we are having a Casino Trios Battle Royal, with the winning team splitting $300,000. That should be enough to make things interesting, and seems to be the big focal point this week. Let’s get to it.

Here is Dynamite if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Three Kings Christmas Casino Battle Royal

So this is a nine team Casino Battle Royal (basically the Royal Rumble) for $300,000 and all three members of the team have to be eliminated. We start with the Best Friends/Orange Cassidy, La Faccion Ingobernable (Rush/Preston Vance/Kalistico) and Butcher and the Blade/Kip Sabian. Triple brawls break out in various corners until the Best Friends and Cassidy are kicked into the middle of the ring for the Big Hug.

Cassidy is sent outside but not eliminated, allowing Rush (also not eliminated) to deck him from behind. Rush chokes Cassidy on the floor as Preston Vance spinebusters Taylor inside. That’s enough to get rid of Taylor as the Blackpool Combat Club (Jon Moxley/Claudio Castagnoli/Wheeler Yuta) are in as well. The brawling is on as the ring is already too full. With nothing going on for two minutes, the Dark Order (John Silver/Alex Reynolds/Evil Uno) are in as well to fill up the ring even more.

A bunch of people go to the floor (again without being eliminated, because battle royals think that’s a good idea), leaving the Dark Order to triple team Vance. Moxley is sent to the apron but gets back inside, followed by Cassidy getting beaten down for a change. We take a break and come back with Cassidy, Blade and Sabian being tossed in a row. The Spanish Announce Project (Angelico/Luther/Serpentico, because OF COURSE those three are a team) jumps off the Spanish announce team and get inside to keep up the brawling.

Angelico is out fast and Silver gets rid of Kalistico. Rush tosses Silver and Moxley gets rid of Uno. Castagnoli tosses Luther as they’re certainly getting rid of people faster. Ari Daivari/the Varsity Athletes (Tony Nese/Josh Woods) are in, with Mark Sterling insulting the fans on the way to the ring. Trent gets sent outside (again, not eliminated) for a triple teaming and Reynolds is eliminated, meaning the Dark Order is completely out.

Rush hits Yuta with the Bull’s Horns in the corner and throws him out. Vance gets rid of Serpentico, meaning the SAP are out as well. Top Flight (Dante/Darius Martin) and AR Fox are in to complete the field as Castagnoli eliminates Daivari. There goes Vance, with Woods and Nese out as well to get rid of another team.

Trent piledrives Butcher on the apron to get rid of him but gets dropkicked out by Rush. Castagnoli and Rush have a showdown ad wind up on the apron for a chop off. A hard series of forearms and the uppercut get rid of Rush, leaving us with the Club (Moxley/Castagnoli) vs. Fox/Top Flight (AR Fox/Top Flight). Moxley gets rid of Fox almost immediately and it’s 2-2.

Cue Hangman Page to run in and go after Moxley as a brawl breaks out. Security comes in, allowing Top Flight to eliminate Moxley. That’s fine with Moxley, who dives on Page to keep up the fight. Back in and Castagnoli picks up both Martin at once but they fight back in from the apron. Castagnoli fights off a double slam out but gets DDTed and double clotheslined to the apron. A running hurricanrana gets rid of Castagnoli to give Fox/Top Flight the money at 21:59.

Rating: C-. This is a great example of “your mileage may vary” but this was a long match where only the last few minutes felt important. There were far too many stretches with too many people in the ring at once, but granted when you can just go to the floor at any point, it doesn’t matter as much. It’s a fun concept for a match and Fox/Top Flight winning is smart, but I can only get so much out of another battle royal with a bunch of rather low level teams.

Here are Eddie Kingston and Ortiz for a chat. They want to fight the House of Black but can’t get the contract signed, so here is Julia Hart to….point at the screen, where the House is waiting for a chat. Malakai Black suggests that Ortiz is really Kingston’s enemy, but Ortiz and Kingston are both a bit confused. I’m still confused as to why the House Of Black talks so much.

Daniel Garcia doesn’t like much about Sammy Guevara but if Chris Jericho tells them to be together, so be it. Sammy gets in Garcia’s face….and hugs him. They’ll be fine.

Jade Cargill vs. Vertvixen

Non-title and the Baddies are here with Jade. Cargill powers her down to start and hits a slam as we take a break forty seconds in. Back with Vertvixen getting kicked in the ribs and back of the head, setting up the pump kick for the pin at 5:01. Again: there is no reason for a five minute match to need a break. We saw about a minute and twenty seconds of the match. Why is there a commercial? The only positive: Vertvixen’s name sounds like the villain from Garfield’s Pet Force: Vetvix. I love Garfield’s Pet Force.

Ruby Soho is sick of Anna Jay helping Tay Melo so she’s getting Willow Nightingale to help her.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Wardlow doesn’t believe Samoa Joe is some unstoppable king and is ready to get his title back.

Powerhouse Hobbs has grabbed a man outside and says he’s taking everything. Hobbs lunges at the camera and that’s it.

Jay Lethal/Jeff Jarrett and company are ready to beat up Billy Gunn and Anthony Bowens. Anthony wants Jarrett to LISTEN and hear that everyone loves the Acclaimed.

Billy Gunn/Anthony Bowens vs. Jeff Jarrett/Jay Lethal

Max Caster, Satnam Singh and Sonjay Dutt are here. Max Caster handles the pre-match rap, promising to send them back to the Impact Zone with the Not So Great Khali. Bowens and Lethal lock up to start with Bowens having to chop his way out of the corner. A quick Figure Four attempt is blocked so Bowens chops away some more and hits a jumping bulldog for two.

Gunn comes in to face Jarrett, with the latter sending him into the ropes for the running crotch attack to the back. It’s back to Lethal, who gets punched out of the air, allowing Bowens to slam him. A double scissoring elbow (just go with it) gets two on Lethal but Bowens is sent outside for a clothesline from Jarrett. We take a break and come back with Lethal holding a chinlock.

Bowens fights up and slugs it out with Jarrett, capped off by a superkick to put them both down. The double tag brings in Gunn to clean house, including a clothesline to cut off Singh. The One And Only gets two on Lethal but a Dutt distraction lets Jeff hit the Stroke on Bowens. Caster accidentally distracts the referee though and it’s a low blow from Dutt, followed by the Lethal Injection to give Lethal the pin at 9:13.

Rating: C. The match was ok, but Caster’s line at the beginning tells you everything you need to know: Lethal and Jarrett feel like Team TNA and that is not something you want to see. I don’t think they’re going to win the titles, but I have no idea why this team exists and even less of an idea why they are getting a push. Gunn losing doesn’t diminish the Acclaimed, though putting them against Lethal and Jarrett isn’t helping them.

Overall Rating: D+. The most important thing about this show is the date. This show is taking place at 10pm the night before Christmas Eve. AEW knew that no one was going to be watching and almost completely punted as a result. The battle royal was little more than a gimmick attraction, Cargill did the same thing she has done about forty times and the main event featured Jeff Jarrett and Billy Gunn. This show was the definition of skippable, and there is a good chance that a lot of people did just that.

Results
Top Flight/AR Fox won the Three Kings Christmas Casino Battle Royal last eliminating the Blackpool Combat Club
Jade Cargill b. Vertvixen – Pump kick
Jeff Jarrett/Jay Lethal b. Anthony Bowens/Billy Gunn – Lethal Injection to Gunn

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