Impact Wrestling – February 9, 2023: Fare Not Well

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Kissimmee, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

No Surrender is coming up and most of the card has been set up so far. That includes the World Title match, which has not exactly gotten a ton of hype. Maybe it is because it seems we have another challenger on the horizon, but Rich Swann challenging Josh Alexander isn’t exactly feeling huge. Hopefully they can get some more of it covered this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Matt Cardona arrives and says he’s in the main event tonight. He is shown to his private dressing room with champagne and shrimp cocktails, but it turns out this is Joe Hendry’s room. Cardona is shown to a closet instead.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: Brian Myers vs. Dirty Dango

They run the ropes to start until Dango armdrags him into an armbar. Myers’ sunset flip is blocked and Dango drops a leg before they head outside. A posting cuts Dango off and of course Myers is fine to try for a countout. Back in and we hit the chinlock, complete with trash talking. Dango fights up and they collide for a double knockdown. A Russian legsweep sets up the Dirtbag Shuffle, followed by a top rope ax handle to send Myers outside. That’s fine with Myers who hits a Roster Cut on the floor, followed by another inside for the pin at 6:50.

Rating: C. I’m kind of digging the more serious Dango, who has been shifting away from a lot of the comedy and wrestling more traditional matches. As it turns out, he can do those well enough to get by and even do well in some places. Myers is a bigger name and easier to take more seriously so it makes sense for him to win, but Dango has been doing well lately.

Gisele Shaw, with Jai Vidal, messes up a few meals at catering. Deonna Purrazzo doesn’t like what Shaw has been saying lately though and throws what looks like chili in her face. Santino Marella comes in to make a No Surrender match.

Trey Miguel thinks Crazzy Steve is in fact crazy and wants nothing more to do with him. Steve’s laughter is heard and a bloody version of Miguel’s logo appears. Miguel freaks out.

Good Hands vs. Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer

Before the match, the Good Hands talk about how much they hate Florida, which is nowhere as valuable as a hand. Mickie and Hotch start things off with Mickie taking him down without much effort. Dreamer comes in to stay on the arm with James coming right back in with a top rope ax handle to said arm. Skyler comes in so Dreamer sends both of the Hands outside.

Dreamer’s dive off the apron takes both of them down again, followed by Mickie hitting a big dive of her own. The Texas Cloverleaf is on but Hotch makes a quick save. It’s Dreamer getting taken down in the corner for a hip attack but he’s right back up with a cutter. Mickie comes back in to clean house, including the flapjack into the top rope Thesz press. The MickieDT finishes Hotch at 5:22.

Rating: C. Intergender wrestling can be tricky to pull off but they made it work well here. James is one of the most successful women’s wrestlers of all time and it isn’t too much to believe that she could beat one of Bully Ray’s lackeys. Dreamer vs. Ray is still a bit much to take as one of the bigger feuds in the company, but that is where everything seems to be heading.

Post match Bully Ray comes in and decks Dreamer, allowing Masha Slamovich to come in and take out Mickie.

Johnny Swinger, with Zicky Dice, asks Santino Marella for his next match as part of his path to 50 wins. Dirty Dango, the Deputy Director Of Authority, comes in to cut off a bribe attempt but Dice knows someone Swinger can beat.

Video on Rich Swann and how important it was to him to be World Champion. He didn’t get to have fans around, but he knows he inspired a lot of people. Then he lost to Kenny Omega when AEW worked with Impact. Josh Alexander wound up as champion so now Swann wants his belt back. He has his mojo back, so now he needs the title to go with it. This was a different look at Swann and the best thing in the build to the title match thus far.

Steph DeLander vs. Jordynne Grace

DeLander was Persia Pirotta in NXT and here, she promises to be everyone’s worst nightmare. DeLander starts fast by sending her to the apron but Grace powers her way out of trouble. With DeLander on the floor, Grace hits a dropkick through the ropes for two back inside. A quick shot lets DeLander have a breather though and we hit the chinlock.

Grace is right back up though and shrugs off a suplex, setting up the dead lift German suplex for two on DeLander. The Grace Driver is blocked so Grace sends her into the corner. DeLander grabs Snake Eyes into a big boot (seems to be an Undertaker fan), only to have Grace pop back up. The Grace Driver finishes DeLander at 5:02.

Rating: C. Another just ok match in a series of them tonight as DeLander got in a bunch but wound up losing to the bigger star. Grace is going to be back in the title picture sooner than later so giving her a win, even while breaking a sweat, is a good thing. That being said, DeLander was hardly a big star in NXT and I’m not sure how much value she has coming in here. Maybe she can prove herself, and she did start well here.

Matt Cardona is still mad about having to change in a closet so he asks for another dressing room. He gets another one….which is outside.

Josh Alexander respects Rich Swann and knows that Swann only lost one match on one night. Now Swann has his chance to get back but here is Kenny King to interrupt. King wants to know why he isn’t getting a title shot but Swann comes in to say King has to earn it. Swann punches him in the face and Alexander lets them go, only to have King back off.

Killer Kelly/Taylor Wilde vs. Death Dollz

Non-title and it’s Taya Valkyrie and Rosemary for the Dollz. Taya takes Kelly down to start and it’s off to Rosemary to hammer away with right hands. A fall away slam out of the corner sets up the Upside Down as Wilde is looking at her tarot cards on the apron. Wilde comes in and grabs a quick backbreaker to take Rosemary down for the first time.

A fisherman’s suplex gives Kelly two and it’s right back to Wilde for some forearms. Rosemary manages her half of a double clothesline, which is enough to bring Taya back in. Kelly manages to take her down again but Wilde finds the devil card. That means she won’t tag in, allowing a Road To Valhalla with an X Factor from Rosemary to finish Kelly at 6:03.

Rating: C+. Impact’s Knockouts division deserves a lot of credit as they have turned it into something rather entertaining most of the time. There is some depth here and Kelly and Wilde are coming along quite well. The Death Dollz need some challengers though and I’m not sure if there is a team around at the moment to fill that spot.

Post match it’s Father James Mitchell making his return and saying Rosemary hasn’t been paying proper respect to Mitchell’s boss/her father. Therefore, Mitchell is here with a hex….in the form of the Hex, Marti Belle/Allysin Kay (former NWA Women’s Tag Team Champions). The Dollz are laid out.

Eddie Edwards wants Shera to take out PCO as an act of friendship. Edwards seems to offer money as an extra incentive.

Kushida praises the Motor City Machine Guns for their success. The Bullet Club comes in and seems to want a title shot but get a six man tag at No Surrender, with Kenta being promised as their partner.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: PCO vs. Shera

Raj Singh is here as PCO hammers on Shera to start. A punch to the throat sends Shera outside to set up the suicide flip dive as the fans approve of PCO. Singh’s distraction lets Shera get in a few shots of his own but PCO, busted open, sits up and looks a bit perturbed. PCO runs Shera over while screaming about Eddie Edwards. The PCOsault finishes Shera at 3:10.

Rating: C. The match was more or less a squash and I can appreciate it going that way. There is only so much of a reason to believe that Shera was anything resembling a threat to PCO so just let him run Shera over. PCO isn’t likely to win at No Surrender, but I could absolutely see him being a challenger of the month as a wild card.

Matt Cardona is back inside and finds Brian Myers in Joe Hendry’s dressing room, but apparently it is just for the shrimp. Some people come in singing Hendry’s song and Myers claps along with them. Myers: “It’s a catchy song.”

Frankie Kazarian tries to talk Sami Callihan out of joining the Design but Sami thinks Kazarian has the sickness. The Design comes in and Kazarian issues a challenge to Big Kon.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Digital Media Title: Joe Hendry vs. Matt Cardona

Hendry is defending and refers to Cardona as Edge’s b**** before the match. He knows the people believe in him though and that’s what will be going through his head during the match. Cardona hits Radio Silence at the bell for two and the kickout leaves him livid. They go outside with Hendry hammering away and sending him right back inside.

A spinning slam sets up a delayed suplex for two on Cardona, who needs a breather on the floor. Cardona sweeps the leg on the apron and grabs a neckbreaker on the outside as we take a break. Back with Cardona choking in the corner, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Hendry tries a suplex but gets reversed into another neckbreaker for another two. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Cardona switches into a guillotine.

That’s reversed with a suplex and they’re both down for a breather. Hendry makes the clothesline comeback, setting up the fall away slam to send Cardona flying. Cardona grabs the rope so a DDT can plant Hendry for two of his own. The Reboot is blocked and Hendry cutters him for two. Another Radio Silence gives Cardona another near fall so here is Brian Myers to throw in the belt. The distraction lets Myers hit the Roster Cut….on Cardona by mistake. Myers is sent outside and the Standing Ovation retains the title at 13:02.

Rating: B-. This got rolling near the end as Hendry can wrestle a good match when he is given the chance. They might have something with him as that charisma can’t be ignored. At the same time, Cardona’s transformation from total goof into solid heel (including the physical transformation) is incredibly impressive. He feels like a star so Hendry beating him is a good step forward.

Post match Moose comes in and goes after Hendry but spears Cardona by mistake. Hendry dispatches Moose and plays Cardona’s new song again to end the show. If that’s not it for Cardona around here, they missed a golden opportunity to send him off in an all time humiliating way.

Overall Rating: C+. Impact got back on their good side this week with a solid enough show that actually made me more interested in the World Title match at No Surrender. Other than that, the Cardona stuff was rather funny as he does a great job at getting humiliated. Fun show here and, as usual, they built towards the future, which is one of their strong suits these days.

Results
Brian Myers b. Dirty Dango – Roster Cut
Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer b. Good Hands – MickieDT to Hotch
Jordynne Grace b. Steph DeLander – Grace Driver
Death Dollz b. Killer Kelly/Taylor Wilde – Road To Valhalla/Facebuster combination to Kelly
PCO b. Shera – PCOsault
Joe Hendry b. Matt Cardona – Standing Ovation

 

 

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