Dynamite – July 19, 2023 (Blood & Guts): Your Mileage May Vary

Dynamite
Date: July 19, 2023
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Taz, Excalibur, Tony Schiavone

It’s time to get violent, as this week’s show is all about Blood & Guts. That alone is going to be enough to carry things but we also have the FTW Title on the line as Hook defends against Jungle Boy, plus the tag team tournament finals. That should guarantee us a good show so let’s get to it.

Here is Collision if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

FTW Title: Hook vs. Jungle Boy

Jungle Boy is challenging and we get the old Tarzan Boy music…..but instead here’s a video of Jungle Boy burying someone in the desert, then getting in a car. That seems to leave us with this.

FTW Title: Hook vs. Jack Perry

Perry (formerly Jungle Boy) is challenging. Hook starts fast and slugs away in the corner, with Perry being knocked outside. The beating continues in the crowd and Hook hits a jumping shot to the face off the barricade. Back in and Perry rakes the eyes to take over, meaning the beating can be on as we take a break.

We come back with Perry not being able to hit a German suplex off the apron. Instead, Hook exploders him to the floor and Perry needs a breather. Perry is fine enough to hit a draping DDT onto the floor but Hook is right back with another suplex. A low blow cuts Hook down and the running elbow to the back of the head gets two. The referee gets bumped so Hook’s head and arms suplex gets no count. Perry gets up and hits a belt shot to win the title at 11:38.

Rating: B-. The ending was a bit flat as I was expecting someone to come in and help Perry, but the result is what matters most. Perry has had failure after failure as the good guy but wins something here after going evil. Above all else, Jungle Boy is no more and that should be enough to make a huge difference. Hook is going to want revenge too and that’s your rematch.

Chris Jericho and Don Callis had a meeting but security got the camera out.

Adam Cole went to a restaurant last night, where MJF got to face two of his biggest fears: Spicy food and poor people. They sit down and MJF tells a story about slamming the 600lb Big Bill in front of 95,000 Maxamaniacs, bu then the food is really spicy. They drink a lot to kill the spice and then realize they drank 100% alcohol. Later, Max tells the Bill story again and then think the waiter looks like Daniel Garcia…..or maybe Sammy Garcia. There is one thing left to do: and they seemingly double clothesline the waiter. Still hilarious, with the Hulk Hogan storytelling being a gem.

Don Callis and Chris Jericho arrive and call Alex Marvez an idiot.

Britt Baker vs. Kayla Sparks

Baker stars fast with the Sling Blade and a fisherman’s neckbreaker, setting up the Lockjaw for the win at 1:06.

MJF and Adam Cole are ready to win the Tag Team Titles and Plan A is the double clothesline. MJF: “Unlike Sammy Guevara’s wife, we don’t need Plan B.” They even have matching trunks and jackets, plus one more surprise from Cole. The two of them leave, but here is Roderick Strong in a neck brace to chase after Cole.

Blind Eliminator Tag Team Tournament Finals: Daniel Garcia/Sammy Guevara vs. MJF/Adam Cole

Chris Jericho comes out to join commentary and we find out that Cole’s surprise is…..a theme music mash up! Garcia and MJF have a dance off before the bell, complete with music. After the lights and music end (and Jim Cornette dies), the villains jump MJF and Cole to start fast. Back to back eye pokes put Garcia in trouble though and MJF clears the ring, runs the ropes about eight times, and then stops to pose. Garcia gets in a cheap shot though and we take a break.

Back with MJF doing the staggering falling headbutt low blow to Guevara. MJF gets over to Cole, who ducks a double clothesline and superkicks Garcia. Guevara breaks up the Boom and a double Spanish Fly gets two. A half crab is broken up but MJF can’t bring himself to dive. Cole begs him to do it and MJF actually does hit a dive (leaving himself shocked). Back in and the Panama Sunrise sets up the DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE to finish Garcia at 10:42.

Rating: B. The heck do you say about this? It’s a match where you’re either having a good time with it or it’s not your thing whatsoever and that is completely understandable here. The friendship deal, as short term as it is going to be, is cracking me up more than once and it isn’t like this is going to be anything more than a bunch of fun. The match was inconsequential as MJF and Cole working together was so much fun. This was a blast overall and one of the funnier things I’ve seen in a good bit from AEW.

Post match Guevara and Garcia walk away from Jericho. With the villains gone, the referee hands Cole the World Title and MJF snaps. Cue FTR for the big staredown and everyone leaves.

Darby Allin, Nick Wayne, Orange Cassidy, Kris Statlander and the Best friends are ready for their respective matches. Allin owes AR Fox a favor and gets him an International Title shot next week. Wayne and Allin won’t put their hands in.

Chompy the dancing shark (Shark Week mascot) annoys commentary.

Here is what’s coming on various shows.

Video on Blood & Guts. The Blackpool Combat Club and Elite hate each other so let’s fight.

Here are the rules:

Two men enter for a five minute round.

The team who won the coin toss (Blackpool Combat Club) send in their second man for a three minute advantage.

The teams alternate entrances until all ten are in.

First submission wins.

Blackpool Combat Club/Pac/Konosuke Takeshita vs. Elite/Kota Ibushi

Claudio Castagnoli starts for the Club and Kenny Omega is in for the Elite. Castagnoli starts with the uppercuts before they fight over a suplex. Omega is sent into the space between the rings and sends Castagnoli into the corner. A high crossbody lets Omega hammer away but the fans want them in the other ring. Omega obliges and stomps away in the corner, setting up a standing hurricanrana. Pac comes in to make it 2-1 though and we take a break.

Back with Hangman Page coming in to even things up 2-2 and the fight is on again. House is cleaned and Page gives Pac a pop up powerbomb, setting up a top rope moonsault onto Castagnoli. Page German suplexes Pac and they split up into different rings. Castagnoli and Page take over their respective fights until Jon Moxley is in for the Club to make it 3-2. He comes complete with screwdriver (or maybe a fork) and gets to carve people up before grabbing some weapons. We get the broken glass but before anyone can get carved up, Nick Jackson is in to tie it up at 3-3.

Nick snaps off some hurricanranas to send people into the glass until Moxley drops Nick into it instead. Moxley even puts it on Nick’s chest and stomps away before Omega is slammed onto the glass. Wheeler Yuta is in to make it 4-3 with the villains taking over again. We take a break and come back again with Matt Jackson coming in to even things up at 4-4.

Matt faceplants Pac and hits an assisted Sliced Bread on Castagnoli. Moxley is back up for some suplexes to drop the Bucks as Castagnoli seems to have stolen Page’s vest. A Kitaro Crusher sends Yuta into the glass but here is Konosuke Takeshita to complete the evil team and make it 5-4.

Takeshita suplexes both Bucks at once (take that Moxley) and then punches a chair into Omega’s face. Don Callis is now on commentary as Omega has a freaking bed of nails. Moxley whips him into it and slams him onto them, with Castagnoli looking terrified. Kota Ibushi is in to finalize both teams at 5-5, so Yuta goes to meet him on the stage and gets dropped.

Moxley stands on Omega’s hand on the nails but Ibushi comes over to kick away at him. Ibushi puts him on the nails and hits a standing moonsault as Matt and Wheeler fight outside the cage. The Club gets in another quick advantage and we take a break. Back with Matt suplexing Yuta around the top of the cage until Yuta suplexes his way out of danger. Moxley piledrives Ibushi onto the glass and a bunch more piledrivers are loaded up.

Instead Matt drops thumbtacks from the roof and Castagnoli/Pac are backdropped onto the tacks. Nick fires off a bunch of superkicks to take over again. A toss powerbomb into two kicks in the corner drop Pac and a string of shots from the top rope have him in more trouble as we take another break. Back with the villains hitting a string of superplexes as Pac goes up top. A dropping double stomp puts Matt through a table in a crazy crash.

We get the big ten man brawl in the middle, with the Bucks (screw that falling stomp from the top of the cage) up for superkicks. The parade of strikes set up the dragon suplex to drop Takeshita onto the glass. A bunch of submissions have the Elite in trouble but Ibushi makes some rather slow motion saves. Hold on though as Castagnoli and Pac have issues, resulting in Pac flipping them off and leaving.

Omega uses the distraction to get up and clean house with a bunch of suplexes. The Buckshot Lariat drops Castagnoli and Wheeler gets hit in the head a lot. Moxley gets handcuffed to the ropes as Don Callis pulls Takeshita out of the match. Yuta is sent face first into a boot covered with thumbtacks before a chain around the throat makes him give up at 50:49.

Rating: B-. And that’s probably being generous. This was WAY too long (longer than the 1991/1992 editions combined) with far too much time spent standing around and not even trying to win the match. I still can’t stand all the weapons (like the BED OF NAILS that Omega was slammed onto, only to be up a few minutes later) being brought in as the cage and violence itself really should be good enough.

Other than that, Ibushi did just shy of nothing here and looked like he would have rather been anywhere else. The match was far from terrible as the violence was good in parts, but this needed to be at least twenty minutes shorter. The point of these matches is supposed to be hatred and violence, not stretching it out for as long as you can. Cut it down, sell more and stop with the ridiculous weapon spots. You’re in a double steel cage. That’s enough for the majority of the carnage, or at least it should be.

Overall Rating: B. This was the pay per view level TV show that you get to see at times and it worked rather well. You had a title change, a very fun tag match, and a main event that certainly felt big but didn’t exactly stick the landing. What mattered here was the big atmosphere though and they absolutely nailed it. Very entertaining show, but the main event needed some work.

Results
Jack Perry b. Hook – Belt shot
Britt Baker b. Kayla Sparks – Lockjaw
MJF/Adam Cole b. Daniel Garcia/Sammy Guevara – Double clothesline to Garcia
Elite/Kota Ibushi b. Blackpool Combat Club/Pac/Konosuke Takeshita when Yuta submitted

 

 

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