Impact Wrestling – August 3, 2023: They Might Have Overthought That One

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 3, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re on the way to Emergence and the show still has a long way to go to setting up the card. Deonna Purrazzo is set to challenge Trinity for the Knockouts Title along with a few other matches but the show is going to need more than that. There is a good chance we will hear some more for the card this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Trinity to talk about what Chicago means to her. This is where she made her Impact Wrestling debut. It’s amazing how far things have come for her because she was thinking about ending her career. Then she debuted here and wanted to become the Knockouts Champion and she DID IT. Cue Deonna Purrazzo to interrupt and congratulate Trinity on her win. She knows what it feels like to win the title on your first chance. The only difference between the two is that the roles are reversed.

Purrazzo says she never tapped out out, with Trinity saying she did at Slammiversary. Trinity says she can make Purrazzo tap, with Purrazzo saying prove it. Cue the Coven to interrupt, saying no one wants Trinity here. KiLynn King suggests that she should be champion and Taylor Wilde isn’t happy that they have to be in Chicago. Threats and a brawl lead to a match being made by Santino Marella.

Coven vs. Trinity/Deonna Purrazzo

Trinity and King go to the mat to start before Trinity elbows her in the face. A rather twisty rollup gives Trinity two but a headscissors is easily blocked. Wilde comes in and gets kicked in the stomach. Trinity is fine enough to take Wilde into the corner and rain down right hands….but Purrazzo tags herself in to cut things off. A hurricanrana sends Wilde flying but she takes Purrazzo into the corner so King can come in.

That doesn’t last long as Purrazzo gets away for the tag to Trinity as the pace picks up. A bulldog into the middle buckle rocks Wilde but King tosses Trinity off the top. King backflips Wilde into a moonsault onto Trinity for two as the villains take over again. Trinity fights up again though and gets over to Purrazzo for the hot tag.

King fights out of the Fujiwara armbar and gets two off a DDT as everything breaks down. Trinity’s Rear View is countered into a German suplex and everyone is down again. Purrazzo Fujiwaras King down again but Wilde makes the save this time. Trinity kicks Purrazzo in the head by mistake and the King’s Curse (pumphandle flipped into a faceplant) finishes Purrazzo at 10:15.

Rating: C+. The Coven getting a win back is a good thing and Trinity and Purrazzo having issues makes perfect sense. This wasn’t exactly inspired booking, but it was the kind of match that helped multiple things at once. I still like the Coven quite a bit and it would make sense to see them be put back in the title scene sooner than later.

The Rascalz are ready to win the #1 contenders tag team tournament, even if they should just get the title shot already. Scott D’Amore comes in to say they’re fined two weeks pay for coming back after they were ejected a few weeks ago. If they do it again, it’s an indefinite suspension, but yeah D’Amore is happy they’re back!

Alisha Edwards rants to Eddie Edwards about Traci Brooks. Jody Threat comes in say that’s nonsense and again, arguing leads to a match, this time next week.

Heath vs. Alan Angels

This is over who is the REAL rockstar of Impact. Angels slaps him in the face to start and then bails out to the floor. Back in and Heath knocks him outside again without much effort but stops to celebrate with some fans. That lets Angels dropkick toe steps in the knees, meaning Angels has a target back inside. The moonsault misses though and Heath gets to slug away. Angels manages to go up top but dives into a powerslam for a rather near fall. The Wake Up Call misses though and Angels goes right back to the knee. A kick to the head misses though and the Wake Up Call finishes for Heath at 6:17.

Rating: C+. Heath has really grown on me in recent months as he has this likability to him and it shows almost every time he’s out there. No he isn’t going to be World Champion or anything close to it, but he’s perfectly fine as a midcard face that the fans can get behind. Go with him for a little bit and let the fans have fun with him as it’s not going to hurt anything.

We look back at the Design taking out Eric Young last week.

Eric Young isn’t surprised at what happened but gets asked an interesting question: wasn’t he supposed to be dead? Young says the fans didn’t know what they were seeing and they will see what happened tonight.

Jake Something vs. Davey Vega

Jake sends him down fast to start and launches Vega off for trying a headlock. A running shoulder blasts Vega before Something smashes him with a heck of a forearm. Vega tries to leave but gets hit with a flying block block (like the start of a Thesz press but Jake stays on his feet), followed by a swinging Boss Man Slam for the pin at 2:35. Something looked great here.

Last week, Moose talked to Brian Myers, Bully Ray and Lio Rush, all of whom are here to get the World Title. Rush was told to give them an answer by the end of the night, which he did by joining them at the end of the show.

Myers, Moose and Ray interrupt Rush on the phone, with Ray asking who he’s talking to. Rush says that’s none of his business, but Ray is VERY happy with Rush’s decision. Rush says he’s not here to make friends, but Moose doesn’t care about that. All that matters is Rush helping them, which Rush will do at Emergence. Ray wants Rush with them next week for a six man tag and says they’ll trust him until he gives them a reason not to.

Digital Media Title: Joe Hendry vs. Yuya Uemura vs. Kenny King

King, with Sheldon Jean, is defending. Before the match, Hendry doesn’t seem happy with Uemura being involved in his one and only title rematch. King shoves Uemura into Hendry to start and we get a few rollups for two each. Back up and Hendry chops both of them until King hits him in the face. There’s a kick to Uemura in the corner as this isn’t exactly picking up the pace so far. King knocks Hendry to the floor and hits a running dropkick to Uemura. Back in and Hendry neckbreakers King, who DDTs Uemura at the same time as we take a break.

We come back with King forearming Hendry and then suplexing Uemura out to the floor. King can’t hit the Royal Flush on Hendry so here is Uemura to crossbody both of them down. Uemura tries it again but dives into Hendry’s cutter. Jean pulls Hendry out so King can get two so Hendry blasts Jean with a clothesline. King sends Uemura into King though and the Royal Flush finishes Uemura to retain the title at 12:19.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but it was a lot better once they came back from the break. What matters here is Uemura is the one who took the pin, which gets Hendry out of the title picture without taking a fall. That’s the best way to go for everyone as Uemura doesn’t really have much stature in the first place. Now do something else with Hendry already.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Mike Bailey b. Jack Evans at Emergence 2022.

Mike Bailey and Jonathan Gresham don’t quite agree with the way the rules are enforced around here but they think they can work together to win the #1 contenders tournament. This doesn’t seem to be the best pairing.

Video on Josh Alexander returning and uniting with the Motor City Machine Guns and Kushida against the resident heel faction. Kushida and Chris Sabin might not be on the same page about the X-Division Title though.

The Beautiful People and Awesome Kong will be back for Impact 1000. Cool.

The Death Dollz are looking for a plan to get a Knockouts Tag Team Title shot from Santino Marella. Crazzy Steve comes in to try and find out why it’s Courtney Rush and not Rosemary but she shoves him aside. Steve: “Ok I understand.”

Tag Team Titles #1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Rascalz vs. Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey

Miguel gets knocked down to start so it’s off to bailey to armdrag Wentz. The bouncing kicks have Wentz in more trouble and there’s the enziguri to put him down. Gresham comes in and works on the arm before tying up the leg as well. Miguel offers a distraction though, allowing Wentz to hit a good looking dropkick. Bailey is knocked off the apron and we take a break.

Back with Gresham fighting up and bringing Bailey in to pick up the pace. The standing shooting star press gets two on Miguel but a Wentz distraction lets Miguel grab a German suplex. Some kicks get Bailey out of trouble and Gresham comes back in for an assisted rolling cutter on Miguel with Wentz making the save. Everything breaks down and Gresham powerbombs and forearms Miguel for two. With the referee distracted Miguel gets in the spray paint to Gresham for the pin (with trunks) at 13:16.

Rating: B-. The spray paint thing is getting old fast but at least it’s something Miguel has done for a long time. The Rascalz moving forward is a better fit than another team of partners who hate each other but work well in the ring so they went with the logical move. Not a great match, but it made the Rascalz look good after a long time apart.

We look back at Deaner stabbing Eric Young to kill him off last year. Then Deaner sat there and Young laid there….until he spit up blood and started laughing. Young crawled outside and got on a motorcycle to ride away (while Deaner was presumably getting donuts or something). Young narrates a video about life and death being opposites.

Can you die if you never truly lived? Death can be a gateway and a door and it can be beautiful. But he’s not censored dead yet. A man can be killed and a body can be disposed of, but an idea is eternal. He’s more than death and more than an idea, so he will live forever. Uh yeah….we’re going to go with “they overthought this one” and move on.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was good enough with some nice action, but that Eric Young video at the end was so over the top that I was trying not to laugh. Other than that, I’m a bit optimistic about some of the names who could be moving up the charges, as Heath, Jake Something and Joe Hendry all seem like they could have bright futures. Impact is starting to make those people look like bigger deals and that is a good idea, as the roster is a good bit aged at the top. Now just figure something out with them and see how far you can go.

Results
The Coven b. Trinity/Deonna Purrazzo – King’s Curse to Purrazzo
Heath b. Alan Angels – Wake Up Call
Jake Something b. Davey Vega – Swinging Boss Man Slam
Kenny King b. Joe Hendry and Yuya Uemura – Royal Flush to Uemura
Rascalz b. Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey – Rollup with trunks to Gresham

 

 

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