Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXIX Night One (2024 Edition): The Biggest Tag Match Ever (At The Time)

Wrestlemania XXXIX Night One
Date: April 1, 2023
Location: SoFi Stadium, Inglewood, California
Attendance: 67,303
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves
America The Beautiful: Becky G

I’ve been curious to get back to this show as it was rather well received last year, leading me to wonder just how well it holds up. The main event of the first night is the Usos defending the Tag Team Titles against Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens, which is still hard to believe in multiple ways. Other than that, we have Rhea Ripley challenging Charlotte for the Smackdown Women’s Title. Let’s get to it.

The set is a classic one, looking like the stage at the Academy Awards.

Becky G sings America The Beautiful.

The opening video features Kevin Hart, who threatens the voiceover guy with a big boot and legdrop. Hart is here to tell us a story about something that happened once upon a time in Hollywood. This sends us to a Wrestlemania greatest hits package before we look at the Wrestlemania trailers, which really weren’t close to the level of the originals in 2005. Hart asks the pyro budget to wrap it up.

Here are the hosts (in the ring rather than doing a full entrance in a smart time saver), the Miz and Snoop Dogg, to get things going. Miz talks about how they have a lot in common: they’re both musicians (Miz was in Wrestlemania: The Musical) and they’re both in a bunch of movies, plus Snoop is a WWE Golden Champ. Snoop: “So we’re the same?” Snoop says it’s more about the champions in the audience tonight, sending Miz into a preview of the card. We’re ready to fire it up so let’s get going.

US Title: Austin Theory vs. John Cena

Theory, defending, has one of my favorite entrance styles as the camera is shooting from the entrance, allowing you to look at the sea of humanity in front of him. It’s been awesome for years and it still is here. Cena on the other hand gets a video of his Make-A-Wish work (which is as cool as it gets) and has a bunch of Make-A-Wish kids with him for the big feel good moment. The entrance is rather strong, though maybe not as strong as that bald spot Cena is sporting.

Feeling out process to start with Theory grabbing a headlock and getting powered off without much effort. Cena goes after the arm and takes Theory down with a headlock takeover as the fans aren’t sure about this one. Back up and Cena powers him into the corner so Theory gets creative with a bite of the ear of all things. As I try to figure out if Theory was alive for Tyson vs. Holyfield II, Theory jumps Cena from behind and hits a suplex for two.

Theory takes a bit too long to follow up though and Cena snaps off a suplex of his own. The rolling Blockbuster cuts Cena right back down for two and we hit the posing for a bit. Theory’s rolling dropkick gets the same as the fans aren’t quite into these covers yet. More posing sets up Theory knocking him down again but a big stomp is blocked. The AA is countered into a DDT to give Theory two more and the frustration is on again.

Theory misses a charge into the corner and they slug it out until Theory grabs a sleeper. That’s broken up with a ram into the buckle and Cena initiates the finishing sequence. The AA is blocked again with a grab of the ropes and the referee gets bumped. Cena grabs the STF for the tap, which the referee doesn’t see. Theory gets in a low blow and A Town Down retains the title at 11:21.

Rating: C. It takes some guts to have Cena come out with the Make-A-Wish kids and then have him lose. As for the rest of the match, it was rather basic and felt like Cena was just playing the greatest hits. I get that Cena wasn’t able to be his old self, but it was getting close to “shell of his former self” territory. It was an attempt to give Theory a rub, but that didn’t quite click here as it felt like Theory was beating someone out there for one more match rather than a returning star.

Street Profits vs. Ricochet/Braun Strowman vs. Alpha Academy vs. Viking Raiders

This is dubbed a Showcase Match, which is pretty much flat out saying “they’re here to be on the card”. I kind of like the honesty there. Titus O’Neil is on commentary for no adequately explored reason. The Raiders have Valhalla (or Sarah Logan according to Titus) in their corner. Ricochet and Gable start things off and thank goodness they aren’t having four in the ring at once.

Ricochet’s hurricanrana attempt is countered into a quickly broken ankle lock so Ricochet sweeps the legs, only to get pulled into a backslide for one. Gable gets sent into the corner for the tag from Otis, who runs Ricochet over without much effort (Titus: “Big sweaty Otis!”). It’s right back to Gable, who mocks Strowman, allowing Ricochet to jump over Gable and make the tag.

All eight get in (you knew it was coming) and the big brawl is on. The Vikings clear the ring and the springboard clothesline/German suplex combination drops Ricochet. Ragnarok hits Ford but let’s stop to pose instead of covering. Strowman is back up to run both of them over, only to have Gable come back in for the rolling Chaos Theory. Gable goes up for a Swan Dive but Dawkins tags himself in, only to miss a dive. Ivar comes in and misses the moonsault as Dawkins moves (not that it would have connected anyway).

That leaves Strowman to hit a top rope splash for two on Strowman, with almost everyone else making the save. Otis World’s Strongest Slams Strowman but Ford is back in to clean some house. A bunch of people go to the corner and that is indeed a Tower Of Doom, with Ricochet diving onto them for the real crash. Strowman is up for the Strowman Express until Dawkins BLASTS HIM with a shoulder to pop the heck out of Titus. Ricochet is up with a springboard shooting star onto Dawkins but the shooting star press inside hits raised knees. Ford’s frog splash to Ricochet’s back (onto Dawkins’ knees) is enough for the pin at 8:29.

Rating: B. The term showcase makes sense here as that is what it felt like we saw. This was eight people getting the chance to have fun and it felt like something you would have seen on an independent show. That block on Strowman and Ricochet’s shooting star were both great, though the Profits were the most established team coming into this and giving them the win makes sense. I’m not usually wild on the people being stacked onto the card, but I’ll take it over a battle royal.

Video on Brock Lesnar vs. Omos, which takes place tomorrow.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Logan Paul. Rollins is a star and Paul eliminated him from the Royal Rumble. To make it worse, Paul has knocked cost Rollins the US Title and knocked him out with his loaded right hand, leaving Rollins a little worried.

The UpUpDownDown crew simulates Rollins vs. Paul in WWE2K23, with Rollins having a 58% chance to win.

Seth Rollins vs. Logan Paul

Paul ziplines in, which is cool enough, but it doesn’t have much in the way of lasting power. Rollins has quite the entrance, as a conductor leads the crowd to sing his song. There is also a walking bottle of Prime, which can’t end well. Rollins grabs a headlock to start and talks to Paul a bit before being shoved away. They pick the pace up a bit with Rollins hitting a running shoulder but it’s way too early for the Stomp.

Back up and Paul throws him over the top (just like he did at the Royal Rumble, hence Paul saying “that’s twice”). Rollins isn’t happy with that and comes back in to hammer away until Paul snaps his throat across the top. Back in and Paul starts slugging away before avoiding a charge in the corner. A springboard crossbody into a standing moonsault gives Paul two and we hit something like a seated octopus. They strike it out while laying on the mat until Paul busts out a nice gutwrench suplex.

Commentary isn’t sure if they should be shocked that Paul is this good as he jumps from the mat to the top for a moonsault (geez) which only hits mat. The fans greatly approve of something (seemingly in the crowd) as Rollins makes the comeback and sends him over the top to even the score a bit. Three straight suicide dives connect for Rollins so Paul crawls away, only for Rollins to Stomp his hand on the steps.

Back in and the Pedigree is countered into an exchange of rollups for two each. Paul pops up and hits the big right hand but the pain means it’s a VERY delayed near fall. Rollins is back up with a sitout powerbomb for two and the Stomp is loaded up….but the bottle of Prime makes the save. It’s KSI (Paul’s business partner), whose distraction lets Paul post Rollins for the big knockdown. The announcers’ table is cleared off but KSI spends too much time filming, allowing Rollins to pull him in the way of Paul’s splash off the post through the table.

Back in and the Pedigree gets two in a heck of a kickout, leaving them both down. The frustrated Rollins hits an elbow to the back of the head but the Stomp is pulled out of the air. Paul busts out a GTS of all things before dropping a nice frog splash for two. With Rollins down in the corner, Paul goes up and tries a Coast To Coast, only to dive into a superkick. The Stomp finishes for Rollins at 16:14.

Rating: B+. These guys tore the house down with some awesome stuff as Paul continues to be an absolute freak of nature out there. He absolutely should not be this good with so little experience but here he is, having a heck of a match with a top WWE star on the biggest stage of them all. I had a great time watching this and you could feel the energy going up over and over throughout. Great match.

We recap Damage CTRL vs. Becky Lynch/Trish Stratus/Lita. Damage CTRL took out Lynch so she brought in Lita of all people to team with her and take the Women’s Tag Team Titles. Lita and Lynch, with an assist from Stratus, actually won the titles so now it’s time for a big grudge match.

Damage CTRL vs. Lita/Trish Stratus/Becky Lynch

Damage CTRL gets a normal entrance while the other three get a movie trailer/comic book style entrance, which is indeed rather cool and fitting for the show. For some reason they come into the stadium in black and white and….well it’s cool but I’m not sure I get the theme here. We get the big staredown to start and the fight is on before the bell. Damage CTRL is cleared out to the floor so Lynch baseball slides into Kai.

Back in and we officially start with Lynch’s early Manhandle Slam attempt being broken up. Sky offers a distraction so Kai can kick Lynch in the head, meaning the villains can take over in the corner. Some knees in the corner give Sky two, followed by a heck of a springboard missile dropkick for the same. A double wheelbarrow suplex/neckbreaker combination gives Bayley two, followed by Kai’s kick to the face for two more.

Lynch manages to send Bayley outside and drop Kai but Bayley pulls Stratus down to break up the tag attempt. Kai is finally knocked down though and the tag brings in Lita for a kind of awkward looking headscissors. Another headscissors sends Sky face first into the corner, setting up a faceplant for two. Lita goes up but Kai offers a cheap shot to put her down as the villains take over again.

Triple kicks drop Lita again before Sky bends the neck around the rope and screams menacingly. Lita manages to DDT her way out of trouble and brings Trish back in to chop away at Kai in the corner. A neckbreaker gives Stratus two but the Stratusphere is broken up. Everything breaks down and an assisted Stratusphere sends Kai off the top and down onto Sky/Bayley.

Back in and we get a rather awful looking Poetry In Motion to Kai, setting up the Disarm-Her from Lynch. Bayley breaks that up and takes Stratus down before pulling Kai over to the right corner in a move heels should use more often. The Rose Plant and Manhandle Slam are broken up but Bayley’s second Rose Plant connects with Lita having to make the save. Stratus comes back in and everything breaks down with everyone but Sky crashing out to the floor.

Sky moonsaults onto the pile and everyone is down at once. All six of them get back in and we have the three on three slugout, much to the fans’ delight. Lita hits Sky with a Twist of Fate and the Chick Kick drops Kai. The Litasault connects on Kai and Sky, leaving Lynch to hit a super Manhandle Slam for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t very good as it felt long and then went another five minutes. Lita can’t really move all that well anymore (a lot of that will have to do with her neck problems) and it was getting tough to watch her out there. Everything else was ok at best and this really needed to be about five or more minutes shorter. Not an awful match, but slow and fairly dull to watch at times.

Video on Bianca Belair vs. Asuka for the former’s Raw Women’s Title on Night Two.

We recap Dominik Mysterio vs. Rey Mysterio. Dominik has been corrupted by Rhea Ripley and the Judgment Day and has gone full evil. This saw him torment his dad for months before finally getting Rey’s attention by going after his own mother. Now Rey is ready to teach his son, who was arrested for invading Rey’s house and now brags about his time (all of a few hours) in jail, a lesson.

Bad Bunny is on Spanish commentary.

Rey Mysterio vs. Dominik Mysterio

Following a long video showing him being transported from prison (including a shot of Auschwitz (as in the German concentration camp, which WWE had to apologize for using), Dominik is out first and comes to the ring in the back of a police van, where he has to be unshackled (with a lucha mask, which has Michael Cole WAY too incensed). Yeah that’s not going to be topped. Rey is driven to the ring in a low rider (with Eddie Guerrero music) by Snoop Dogg and yeah Dominik wasn’t topped.

Dominik, in gear close to Rey’s Halloween Havoc 1997 attire, locks up to start and gets absolutely nowhere with it. They go to the mat with Dominik taking him down, only to be sent out to the floor. Back in and Rey snaps off a running hurricanrana, meaning Dominik needs a breather. That’s fine with Rey, who headscissors him into the corner, where a whipping ensues. Dominik bails to the floor again, where he grabs a drink from his sister and throws it into her face.

Rey goes over to cut said sister off, allowing Dominik to catapult him into the post. That’s too far even for Graves, who can’t bring himself to defend Dominik on this one. The abdominal stretch goes on back inside before Dominik drops him down, meaning more trash talk can ensue. He yells at his mother enough that she slaps him in the face, allowing Rey to start the comeback.

Back in and Rey starts the comeback, including the springboard spinning crossbody. The Eddie Dance looks to set up Three Amigos but here is Judgment Day as Dominik drives him into the corner. Rey gets a running start but gets flipped over Dominik, sending him face first into the bottom turnbuckle for a VERY hard crash. After the referee makes sure Rey’s face isn’t broken, Dominik tries Three Amigos but Rey slips out of the third.

The 619 connects, only to have the Judgment Day offer a distraction so Dominik can take Rey down again. Rey is sent outside so Judgment Day surrounds him, only for the LWO to come in for the save. Back in and Dominik’s 619 sets up a frog splash for two, meaning frustration is setting in. Dominik unhooks the turnbuckle pad but the referee sees him, allowing Dominik to grab a chain instead. Bad Bunny breaks that up though and it’s a 619 into the frog splash to give Rey the pin at 14:31.

Rating: B. This is a weird one as I remembered absolutely loving it the first time but instead this was just good. The spanking in the corner spot was great and it was by far the biggest match Dominik has had. The big thing here was the Mysterio Family overcome Judgment Day and the evils of Dominik, which is about as feel good of a feeling as you can have.

It told a story and the action was good, making it feel very Wrestlemania worthy. Having the LWO there to cut off Judgment Day and Bad Bunny there to even things out again were nice additions as well. Good stuff overall, though maybe not the classic I remember it being originally.

You should visit Puerto Rico. The Puerto Rico tourism bureau really recommends it.

We recap Rhea Ripley challenging Charlotte for the Smackdown Women’s Title. Ripley is the new monster of the division but Charlotte beat her before. This is a very different Ripley though and she wants the title, but also to avenge her loss to Charlotte at Wrestlemania XXXVI.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Rhea Ripley

Ripley is challenging. They take their time to start before Ripley runs her over. Back up and Charlotte knocks her out to the floor for a change, with Ripley looking a bit scared. She gets back inside where Charlotte is sent to the apron, only to come back with a big boot. A high crossbody gives Charlotte two but Ripley drops her face first onto the top turnbuckle. Ripley’s bodyscissors slows things down a bit, followed by the chops to keep Charlotte in trouble.

Charlotte is back up with some chops up against the ropes but Ripley snaps off a German suplex for two. Another comeback lets Charlotte drop her on the turnbuckle and hit some clotheslines, followed by the big chops to really stagger Ripley. Back up and Ripley rolls through a high crossbody and tries Riptide, only to get countered into a heck of a DDT for a near fall. Stereo big boots leave them both down for a minute before it’s time to slug it out. Ripley sends her into the knee but Charlotte snaps off a t-bone suplex.

Charlotte takes too long going up though and it’s a release German superplex for two, leaving Ripley shaken up. The breather lets Charlotte go after the knee and Natural Selection gets two. They go outside, where Charlotte misses a charge into the steps, allowing Ripley to grab a belly to back faceplant for two. Riptide is countered into a German suplex to put Ripley down but she’s back up with a German suplex to put Charlotte down on her face (that was almost really bad as Charlotte barely rotated enough).

Charlotte is fine enough to hit a heck of a big boot for tow more but the Figure Four is blocked again. A staggered Ripley rolls to the apron, where Charlotte hits another big boot. The moonsault to the floor actually connects but Ripley blocks the Figure Four again. The spear misses and a quick Riptide gets two, leaving Ripley absolutely stunned (you don’t see that every day). With the covers not working, Ripley grabs the Prism Trap, which looks even more impressive with someone as tall as Charlotte.

The rope is reached and Ripley almost runs into the referee, allowing Charlotte to come back with a spear for two of her own. Another big boot (Charlotte likes those) drops Ripley and the Figure Four finally goes on but the rope is grabbed in about half a second. They go up top, where Ripley drops her face first onto the post. That sets up a super Riptide to knock Charlotte good and silly for the pin and the title at 23:34.

Rating: A. I gave this a B+ last year and I completely shortchanged the whole thing. These two beat the living daylights out of each other and it felt like an absolute war with Ripley being crowned as the new queen. This is the match that Ripley needed to win and WWE got it absolutely right with the victory coming in a war. It was time for something new in the division and that was Ripley, who had to beat Charlotte to get there after what happened three years ago. Outstanding match here and an instant classic.

Video on Gunther defending the Intercontinental Title against Drew McIntyre and Sheamus on Night Two.

Austin Theory says he showed John Cena. Do you believe in him now?

Miz and Snoop Dogg announce tonight’s attendance: 80,497. Snoop says the only thing that would be better than that would be if Miz had a match tonight and Miz agrees. He put out an open challenge, but no one responded. Everyone knows that he is the toughest man here and we hit the catchphrase….which is cut off by Pat McAfee.

Cole stands up and Graves looks crushed all over again. McAfee says high to the beautiful people and greets Snoop before saying no one heard about this open challenge. He’s wearing his Wrestlemania tank top and the challenge is on. Miz would love to do it but he’s just the host of Wrestlemania so he can’t make the match. McAfee mocks Miz’s testicular fortitude so Snoop decides he can make the match. Miz tells Snoop to do this instead. Snoop: “I don’t do this. I rap.” And the bell rings.

Pat McAfee vs. Miz

McAfee slugs away to start and catches a charging Miz with a spinebuster. Miz goes up top but McAfee goes up with him and then backflips away. A superkick (and a nice one) knocks a diving Miz out of the air so Miz is ready to walk. For reasons of celebrity involvement, Miz shoves NFL tight end George Kittle, who jumps the barricade (security around here is awful) and clotheslines Miz. That lets McAfee go up onto the post and flip dive down onto Miz for the big crash. Back in and McAfee hits the Punt for the pin at 3:25.

Rating: C. This was the goofy fun that they knew it would be as Miz continues to be the perfect choice for the goof who can be beaten down and come back again later no matter what. McAfee is a nice celebrity guest star as he can more than handle himself in a short match and the fans seemed to like him. Good, easy fun here.

Wrestlemania XL is in Philadelphia.

Night Two rundown.

We recap the Usos defending the Tag Team Titles against Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens. Zayn had been part of the Bloodline but they eventually turned on him, leaving Zayn to turn to his long time, on again/off again partner Owens, who did not trust Zayn. There was one too many beatdowns though, and Owens finally reformed the team with Zayn to set up the title match, as they have to bring the Bloodline down one way or another. The other aspect of this is Jey Uso, who seemed to trust Zayn before getting stabbed in the back as well. Zayn still seems to believe in Jey, which adds a bit of a twist to the whole thing.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

The Usos are defending and are played to the ring by Lil Uzi Vert. Owens and Zayn are so fired up and you can feel every bit of it. After the Big Match Intros, Zayn seems ready to start with Jimmy but Jey comes in instead. Jey shoulders Zayn down but he comes back with right hands for a change. Jimmy low bridges Zayn to the floor though as the villains start taking over.

A suplex to the floor and a boot to the face keep Zayn in trouble, with Jey adding a Stinger Splash for two. Zayn finally manages to send the champs outside though and it’s Owens coming in to clean house. A big flip dive to the floor drops the Usos and a frog splash from the apron/top rope each gets two on Jimmy. Back in and Jey hits a pop up neckbreaker to cut Owens off though and we slow back down.

Owens fights back and tries a Swanton, only to hit raised knees. Jimmy adds a quick Superfly Splash for two and the near fall has Jimmy confused. Some superkicks put Jimmy into the corner though and it’s a Cannonball to Jimmy, with Zayn brainbustering Jey on the apron. The Swanton gives Owens two and Zayn adds his own Superfly Splash for two more. Cole references El Generico for the OLE chants but Jey cuts things off with a superkick.

A high quantity of superkicks get two on Zayn, with Owens having to make a save. Another superkick gets two but this time Zayn kicks out himself. Owens tries to come in sans tag but gets spinebustered through the announcers’ table for his efforts. Back in and the 1D gets two on Zayn, with Cole (and the fans) LOSING IT over the kickout. The livid Jey shouts at Zayn in the corner, slapping away while saying they were brothers.

Jey hits a Helluva Kick but Zayn grabs an exploder suplex into the corner. The tag brings in Owens for powerbombs a plenty, setting up a Helluva Kick from Zayn to Jimmy. The Stunner gets two on Jey and everyone is down. They all pull themselves up and the fight is on again, meaning more and more superkicks.

The Usos’ superkicks are superer though and Owens is down while Zayn is knocked to the floor. The double Superfly Splashes get two and the Usos are stunned. Zayn breaks up the super 1D though and Owens superplexes Jimmy, allowing the tag to Zayn for the Helluva Kick to Jey. Another Helluva Kick to Jey, a Stunner to Jimmy and a third Helluva Kick to Jey FINALLY give us new champions at 24:07.

Rating: B+. This was all about the emotion, as Owens and Zayn had such a long story to not only win the titles, but they headlined Wrestlemania (two in a row for Owens) to do so. That is one of those “who would have believed it” stories and my goodness the payoff was worth the wait. If nothing else, the fact that neither of them had won a Tag Team Title in WWE until now is almost hard to fathom. The match itself was rather good too and they nailed the finish as it had to be Zayn pining Jey, but even the Young Bucks would tell them to tone down the superkicks here. Heck of a main event though.

A big celebration and the highlight package take us out for the night.

Overall Rating: A-. There were eight matches on here (one of which was the impromptu celebrity match) and five of them were very good to excellent. That is getting into all time territory and if the other two matches (Cena/Theory and the six woman tag) could have held up even a bit more, it’s one of the best shows ever. For now, I’ll more than go with what they gave us, including an excellent Ripley vs. Charlotte match.

The biggest thing here though was how grand everything felt. From the stadium to the set to the crowd to the action, it felt like the biggest show in the world and that is what sets Wrestlemania apart. There is nothing like it in wrestling and this one blew a bunch of its predecessors out of the water. I liked it a lot on the first viewing and the repeat might have been even better. Definitely worth a look if you haven’t seen it before or even since the original airing.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Austin Theory

Original: C
Redo: C

Street Profits vs. Alpha Academy vs. Ricochet/Braun Strowman vs. Viking Raiders

Original: B
Redo: B

Logan Paul vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B+
Redo: B+

Damage CTRL vs. Becky Lynch/Trish Stratus/Lita

Original: C-
Redo: C-

Rey Mysterio vs. Dominik Mysterio

Original: A-
Redo: B

Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte

Original: B+
Redo: A

Pat McAfee vs. Miz

Original: C
Redo: C

Usos vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn

Original: A-
Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B+
Redo: A-

Pretty close all around but it’s better than a B+ overall.

 

 

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