Impact Wrestling – May 16, 2024: Everyone vs. Everyone Else

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 16, 2024
Location: Albany Armory, Albany, New York
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

So instead of doing a bunch of stuff on one show, this week is all about a SIXTEEN PERSON tag match, with all of the champions against a bunch of all stars and Ryan Nemeth. That’s going to eat up a good chunk of the show and should set up quite a bit for the next few major events. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Ash By Elegance vs. Xia Brookside

If Ash wins, she gets her bedazzled knuckles back. Hold on as Ash By Elegance’s handler has a referee shirt under his jacket…but he isn’t going to be the referee. Ok then. Ash talks a lot of trash to start and gets rolled up for an early two. They go to the mat and hammer away at each other before heading outside. Ash takes over on the floor, only to have Xia get in a Thesz press and right hands of her own back inside. The fight heads to the floor again, this time with Xia managing a quick suplex. The handler offers a distraction though and Ash grabs a hanging Stunner. Rarefied Air gives Ash the pin at 4:02.

Rating: C. Everything about Ash makes her feel like a star, except for her in-ring work. What she does in the ring isn’t bad, but it’s very basic save for a nice enough looking Swanton. She feels like someone who could turn into something great and the By Elegance deal works well enough, but she needs to get above average in the ring on her best day.

Post match the handler tells Xia to present Ash with the jewelry….which she does as part of a right hand.

Rosemary is upset that Havok is gone and says there comes a time in the lives of everyone meant for greatness that you have to give up attachments. She mentions people like the Bunny and Taya Valkyrie, but now she is ready for anything.

Santino Marella talks to Kushida, who says he is sick after facing Jonathan Gresham. He’ll be ready for his match on Xplosion.

Alan Angels vs. Leon Slater

Slater runs him over with a shoulder to start and they trade rollups for two each. Back up and Slater hits a handspring elbow to send Angels outside, followed by the required dive. Hold on though as the referee starts spitting up black goo (after he refereed a Jonathan Gresham match last week) so here’s a replacement. Slater kicks Angels in the face for two but Angels snaps off a series of half and half suplexes. Back up and Slater kicks him in the face, setting up the Swanton 450 for the pin at 4:31.

Rating: C+. Slater is someone who does his stuff rather well, with that Swanton 450 being a thing of beauty. While beating Slater isn’t going to launch him up the ladder but it’s a step in the right direction. Other than that, this is likely going to be about the referee and egads this is already feeling stupid.

Post match here is Kon to go after Angels. Slater doesn’t like it and manages to knock Kon outside. Kon snaps a security guard’s neck to blow off some steam.

Here is Jake Something for a chat. He talks about starting from nothing and becoming something, with the interviewer sounding like she is mocking him. That isn’t cool with Something, who blames Deaner for the loss last week. Cue Deaner, who says he and Something are cousins and Something is absolutely right about rising up from nothing. Deaner is with him, but Something brings up leaving him to join Violent By Design years ago. Deaner apologizes for being on a dark path and worries that Something is going to do the same thing. Then Something blasts him with a clothesline and leaves.

We look at Speedball Mountain beating ABC to earn a singles shot for an X-Division Title shot.

Speedball Mountain say they’re friends but they’re at a crossroads. May the best man win, and they seem cool.

Frankie Kazarian vs. Steve Maclin

The bell rings but we pause as Kazarian insists on being called the true king of TNA. Maclin uses the delay to clothesline him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Maclin in trouble in the corner but Maclin slugs his way back into it. Maclin knocks him to the floor for the Scud but Kazarian is ready for the spear in the Tree Of Woe. They fight to the apron but neither can hit their finisher, with Kazarian settling for a backdrop to the floor.

That’s good for a nine as Maclin beats the count and hits a running knee. The Jar Headbutt gets two but Kazarian grabs a quickly broken chickenwing. Another attempt works much better, with Maclin eventually having to backflip out for the break. They go up top with Kazarian trying the Flux Capacitor, only to have Maclin tie him into the Tree Of Woe. The spear is loaded up but cue Trey Miguel for a distraction, allowing Zachary Wentz to come in for a cheap shot. Kazarian hits Fade To Black for the pin at 11:13.

Rating: B-. Kazarian’s star continues to rise and it wouldn’t stun me to see him get a World Title shot once Moose loses the title. For now though, he’s piling up wins over former World Champions and that could take him a long way. Maclin vs. the Rascalz is a bit weird as he’ll need a partner, which could go in a few different directions.

Gail Kim is at some retreat with Gisele Shaw, who says she hasn’t quit after one loss. Kim is here to guide her back home, with Shaw seeming to think about it.

We get the second half of a sitdown interview with Mike Santana. He spent years working on the problems of others rather than himself, which is what started to take him down. Then he went to rehab, with his daughter asking for him to be better for Christmas. He was ashamed that he was giving her the life that he swore he would never give her and that was enough to wake him up.

Now he’s sober and back in TNA, where he is ready to fight for every thing he has. He respects Steve Maclin after their match at Rebellion because he’s looking for a fight. Maclin put a target on his back but Santana is putting a target on everyone’s back. These have been really good and made me care about Santana that much more.

First Class is in a box to watch the champions vs. all-stars match. They’re scouting for gold.

Champions vs. All-Stars

Champions: Moose, Jordynne Grace, Laredo Kid, Masha Slamovich, Mustafa Ali, Alisha Edwards, Brian Myers, Eddie Edwards

All-Stars: Broken Matt Hardy, Ryan Nemeth, Eric Young, Spitfire, Sami Callihan, Joe Hendry, Steph de Lander

Before the match, Hendry says all of this feels like a place for a major outbreak of Hendrymania. Worry not though, because the cure is to chant WE BELIEVE. Young chops Myers down to start and we get the big sixteen way staredown. The brawl is on and we take an early break. Back with Grace and Luna trading forearms until Grace shoulders her down for two. Kid comes in and gets suplexed by Luna but de Lander tags herself in.

That goes nowhere so it’s Slamovich and Threat coming in, with the latter grabbing an exploder suplex. Alisha comes in for a running basement crossbody in the corner. Threat is back up with running knees to the back and a German suplex for two of her own. A delayed toss suplex sends Alisha into the corner and she brings Slamovich in. Eddie and Myers come in for a cheap shot and we take another break.

Back again with Nemeth coming in to clean house, including a dropkick to Ali. Eddie offers a quick distraction though and Ali’s neckbreaker lets Moose come in. Nemeth gets sent hard into the corner and Eddie’s clothesline gets two. Ali isn’t happy with not getting a tag and walks away, saying he is officially withdrawing from the match. Myers grabs a chinlock with a knee in the back but Nemeth fights up and hits a quick Danger Zone. Matt comes in to slug away on Moose and the Side Effect gets two.

Alisha makes a save so Matt takes Eddie down again, allowing Callihan to come in and clean house. The Cactus Driver 97 is broken up so Callihan takes out Eddie and Myers at the same time. Hendry gets the tag and the fans are WAY into this. Everything breaks down (I’m stunned it took this long) and Grace elbows Callihan to the floor, setting up the big suicide dive. The parade of dives is on until Myers spears Hendry down for two. Back up and the Standing Ovation gives Hendry the pin on Myers at 28:28.

Rating: B-. When there has to be a rule that only two members of a team can be on the apron at a time, you might have quite a few people in a match. This was the insanity that you would expect, but the big perks are A, Hendry won and B, they had a bunch of combinations to pick from to keep things from getting dull. At this rate, I could certainly go for seeing what Hendry could do in the main event. The company could use some fresh blood and the fans are reacting to Hendry, so why not see how it would go?

Post match PCO is wheeled out and shocked to live, allowing him to come to the ring while carrying a black bag. He pulls out some random stuff (like a teacup) before finding….a black rose for de Lander? She takes it while looking scared/confused to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a show that was pretty much all about one match as almost every big name in the promotion was involved in that one match. The good thing is that the match worked, though it didn’t leave much else going on. I’m curious to see where that main event takes us though, as PCO is going to be doing something weird with de Lander and Hendry has to be in line for some kind of a title shot. I could go for that being against Moose at Slammiversary, but odds are it’s one of the old guard again, as Matt Hardy needs another shot I’m sure. Overall it’s a good show, with the focus being on one match as advertised.

Results
Ash By Elegance b. Xia Brookside – Rarefied Air
Leon Slater b. Alan Angels – Swanton 450
Frankie Kazarian b. Steve Maclin – Fade To Black
All-Stars b. Champions – Standing Ovation to Myers

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