Beach Blast 1992 (2024 Edition): Great In Spite Of Stupid

Beach Blast 1992
Date: June 20, 1992
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

This is one of those shows that is rather widely revered among WCW fans and I’ve raved about it myself for quite a long time. I haven’t looked at it in a very long time so it feels a redo is in order. The show has quite the stacked card, including Sting vs. Cactus Jack, Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat in an Iron Man match and quite the different choice of main event. Let’s get to it.

The opening sequence is just a quick rundown of what’s coming. I remember loving that muscle made of water logo as a kid and it still looks pretty nice.

Tony Schiavone and Eric Bischoff welcome us to the show and bring in Bill Watts (the boss) for a chat. He’s glad to see what is happening tonight, starting with the Light Heavyweight Title and ended with the Tag Team Titles. Yeah the Tag Team Titles are main eventing because Watts is kind of a weird guy. He also explains the big stipulations for later, which isn’t a bad idea.

Jesse Ventura is on the stage with a variety of swimsuited women. The four of them escort him down to the ring, looking as thrilled as you would expect.

Light Heavyweight Title: Brian Pillman vs. Scotty Flamingo

Flamingo, who would stick with the bird theme by becoming Raven, is challenging. They fight over a lockup to start and go absolutely nowhere early on. The grappling goes to Pillman, who gets a hammerlock and then does it again for a bonus. Flamingo makes the rope for the break as Jesse goes on a rant about not being the emcee for the bikini contest between Missy Hyatt and Madusa. Pillman isn’t having any of Flamingo throwing punches and knocks him into the corner before going with the hammerlock again.

The short armscissors stays on the arm, which Jesse dubs a wear down hold. Back up and Pillman hiptosses him into the corner as Ross reminisces about Danny Hodge. The arm cranking is on again but Flamingo manages to fight up, only to get dropkicked and tied into the ropes. Pillman knocks him out to the floor, where there are no mats because Bill Watts is kind of nuts.

Back in and Pillman goes up but stops because coming off the top is a DQ (another weird Watts rule) so Flamingo sends him through the ropes for a dive (because throwing someone over the top is a DQ and coming off the top is a DQ, but throwing yourself over the top is fine). Back in and a middle rope shot to the back gives Flamingo two before he drives some forearms into the chest.

A quick sunset flip gives Pillman two of his own but Flamingo is right back with the chinlock. That includes some cheating and commentary actually breaks down how much it helps, which is a level of dedication you don’t see very often. Pillman fights up and avoids a charge in the corner, leaving Flamingo down for a change. Not that it matters as Pillman can’t fight up and Flamingo is right back with the chinlock.

That’s reversed into a sleeper but Flamingo escapes for a double down, leaving Jesse to yell about Pillman not wearing Flamingo down enough first. We get the fifteen minute call less than fourteen minutes in and Flamingo rakes the eyes to put him down again. Flamingo goes to the middle rope (you can hear Ross having to catch himself because he’s expecting the top) but gets dropkicked out of the air.

The comeback is on with Flamingo being sent into the buckles, at least until he comes back with a powerslam (with trunks) for two. Pillman’s leg seems to be in trouble but he’s fine enough to catch Flamingo with a belly to back superplex for two more. A clothesline to the back of the head drops Flamingo again and Pillman sends him onto the ramp. Air Pillman misses though and Pillman’s face hits the ramp HARD. Back in and Flamingo drops a middle rope knee for the pin and the title at 17:30.

Rating: B. Lack of being able to go up top aside (because Watts), it was a rather awesome opener, complete with Flamingo winning clean (that’s VERY Watts) and becoming a much bigger star as a result. That being said, the Light Heavyweight Title was little more than a belt for about three people, but it did give us some pretty awesome action around this time. Rather good stuff here and one of the best of Flamingo’s career.

Here is Johnny B. Badd to start the bikini contest, with Jesse questioning if Badd even likes girls. We have three rounds, stating with evening gowns (as you wear on the beach). They both come out, they walk the ramp, Madusa is in some weird wedding dress kind of deal with a veil, you can pay to vote on the Hotline, more on this later.

The Great American Bash is coming with Sting vs. Vader and A LOT of tag matches.

Ron Simmons vs. Taylor Made Man

Schiavone and Bischoff give us a bit of a preview for this match, which seems like some major overkill. That would of course be Terry Taylor, but now he’s dressed really nicely. We get an extended set of referee’s instructions as this match is getting WAY more focus than it requires. Jesse fills in time by asking what you Simmons can open with the key to the city that he received earlier today. Simmons powers him into the corner without much trouble to start and some three point shoulders have Taylor in more trouble.

They go to the ramp where Simmons atomic drops him (no funny sell, which seems appropriate here) into a gorilla press. That lets Simmons throw him over the top and back inside, which has Jesse questioning the DQ rules as well. Back in and Simmons grabs the bearhug for a bit, only to miss another of those running tackles to send himself outside again. The chinlock with a knee in the back has Simmons in trouble but he fights back up with a spinebuster. This lets Ross talk about college football, which granted isn’t a hard path to get him to take. Back up and a snap powerslam finishes for Simmons at 7:09.

Rating: C. This was the kind of match you would see filling in time on pay per views back in the day, meaning it was watchable enough and not much more. Simmons is on his way up and felt like a big star here, which makes his World Title win a few months later all the less surprising. As for Taylor….well his entire gimmick is built around how nicely he’s dressed, so you should know where he is here.

Post match Simmons says his goal is still to be the best that he can be. It doesn’t matter what color you are or what poverty level you’re at, you can be the best if you work at it every day. That’s downright wholesome.

Greg Valentine vs. Marcus Alexander Bagwell

As usual, Ross gets to name drop Sprayberry High School, which is the one thing that they hammered in about Bagwell for years. Valentine backs him into the corner to start but gets armdragged down, much to Valentine’s annoyance. Some elbows stagger Bagwell, who is back with an atomic drop into a dropkick to send Valentine outside.

Back in and the fans approve of Valentine’s clothesline, only for Bagwell to avoid a really slow middle rope elbow. Valentine is fine enough to go after the knee but it’s too early for the Figure Four. Some rollups give Bagwell two each and a suplex gets the same as this isn’t exactly taking off. A backdrop gives Bagwell another two but Valentine kicks the knee out. The shinbreaker sets up the Figure Four to give Valentine the win at 7:17.

Rating: C-. What in the world was this doing on pay per view? You have a long established veteran like Valentine beating a much younger and more marketable star like Bagwell clean? I really don’t get this one and it was one of the bigger headscratchers that I’ve seen in a good while, even from early 90s WCW. The match wasn’t even that good as it was slow (yes, in a valentine match) and felt like it was there to fill in time.

Commentary hypes up Sting vs. Cactus Jack, Falls Count Anywhere, without actually showing Sting, or saying WHY they’re fighting. Basically Jack was one of the people Lex Luger had sent after Sting and now that Luger is gone, Sting is tying up some loose ends before having the big title defense against Vader next month.

Sting vs. Cactus Jack

Falls Count Anywhere and Sting’s World Title isn’t on the line. They go at it on the ramp to start and Sting gets an early two off a backslide. A backdrop on the ramp and a bulldog have Jack in trouble (that ramp is LOUD) but he avoids the running splash to send Sting into the ropes (rather than the barricade for a change). The elbow off the apron crushes Sting again and a sunset flip off the apron (remember, no mats) gets two more. Back up and they trade rams into the barricade until Jack is sent out into the crowd, with Sting diving onto him.

A suplex onto the concrete gets two as Ross is losing his mind at this stuff. They get in the ring for the first time and Jack takes out the shoulder, leaving Jesse stunned that they’ve been in the ring this long. We hit the bodyscissors and Jesse calls it amazing because “HE’S ACTUALLY WRESTLING!” Back up and the Cactus Clothesline sends them outside again, where Jack dents a chair over Sting’s back for a nasty visual.

As Jesse tries to figure out why in the world Sting agreed to do this, Sting belly to back suplexes Jack onto the exposed concrete for two. They do a pinfall reversal sequence on the concrete until Jack hot shots him onto the barricade. A piledriver on the floor doesn’t work as Jack’s knee gives out (with commentary being smart enough to explain why Sting is ok) and Jack’s middle rope elbow only hits concrete.

Sting fights up and slams him on the ramp, where he gets a chair of his own. A series of chair shots look to set up the Scorpion Deathlock but Jack turns it over and they crash off the ramp. The double arm DDT connects back on the ramp for a delayed two but Sting pops up and hits a running clothesline. A top rope clothesline is enough to give Sting the pin on the ramp at 11:24.

Rating: A-. This worked because it was a fight instead of a match and that’s what it needed to be. Jack was a different kind of opponent (one who didn’t care about being champion) and it made Sting go in another direction, on we hadn’t seen before. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen in 1992 and it holds up today, with Jack looking insane and Sting going right along with him. This would have fit in perfectly in the Attitude Era, making it not only great but also ahead of its time, which is not something you often see.

Tony and Eric preview the Iron Man match. I have no idea why we need them when we already have Ross and Jesse.

Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat

30 minute Iron Man match and Rude’s US Title is not on the line. Steamboat starts fast and hits a gutbuster, which has Rude in early trouble. A running shoulder to the ribs in the corner has Rude cringing, with Jesse sounding rather worried. Steamboat strikes away at the ribs, with Ross saying Steamboat is “sensing” that Rude is injured. Jesse: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN SENSING???”

We hit the bearhug, which always looks weird from someone Steamboat’s size. Steamboat takes him into the corner and Rude finally gets in a knee to the ribs for a needed breather. The injury won’t let Rude follow up though and Steamboat grabs something like a bow and arrow. That’s switched into a Boston crab and Rude is in trouble all over again.

The rope is almost reached so Steamboat lets go and drives some knees into the ribs as Jesse is not pleased with the extra viciousness here. Some kicks to the ribs have Rude in even more trouble and a gordbuster makes it even worse. Back up and Steamboat charges into a knee in the corner, with Rude grabbing a rollup with tights for the first fall at 7:42.

Rude – 1
Steamboat – 0

Rude gets smart and grabs the Rude Awakening for the second fall at 8:40 total.

Rude – 2
Steamboat – 0

Rude goes up top with a knee for a DQ at 9:50 total.

Rude – 2
Steamboat – 1

Then Rude rolls him up for the pin at 10:13 total.

Rude – 3
Steamboat – 1

We hit the reverse chinlock, which has Ventura rather pleased as it makes a good bit of sense at this point. Some knees to the back have Steamboat in more trouble and we’re right back to the reverse chinlock. This time Steamboat powers out with an electric chair drop but a splash hits raised knees. A swinging neckbreaker gives Rude two and, after absorbing some chops, he grabs a chinlock with fifteen minutes left. Another comeback is cut off by a knee to the ribs and Rude hits a nice piledriver for two. Rude tries a Tombstone but Steamboat reverses into one of his own to get things closer at 17:41 total.

Rude – 3
Steamboat – 2

Rude goes up again but gets superplexed down, which isn’t a DQ because….well because these rules are stupid and make things far more complicated than they need to be. A very delayed cover gives Steamboat two and it’s a double clothesline to leave them both down. They bridge into a backslide and Steamboat ties it up at 20:23 total.

Rude – 3
Steamboat – 3

Steamboat is fired up and tries some more rollups until Rude cuts him off with a needed jawbreaker. Back up and Rude sends him face first into the mat a few times before shouting about how Steamboat is NOT an iron man. Steamboat chops away but gets hit in the eyes. Ross: “Every time Rude gets in trouble, he goes to the eyes!” Ventura: “That’s because it works.” Rude makes sure to pose (Ventura approves as you might expect) and we hit a lot of choking on the ropes.

The Rude Awakening is blocked though and Steamboat hits his own version for two with Rude putting his foot on the rope. We have five minutes left as Steamboat gets two off a suplex. A belly to back suplex gets two more but Rude is back up with a sleeper as we have four minutes left. Rude climbs on his back and Steamboat stays up for a good long while, leaving Rude to kick away at the arms to block a rope grab (that’s smart).

Steamboat finally falls down with two minutes left but his arm stays up like a good hero’s should. The referee actually checks Steamboat’s eyes (that’s a new one) but the arm stays up again. Steamboat fights up and climbs the ropes to drop back on the bad ribs, giving him a quick pin at 29:26.

Steamboat – 4
Rude – 3

Rude is up with a clothesline for two, a shoulder for two, another clothesline for two, a small package for two and a slam for two, all in the last 34 seconds (geez), as time expires at 30:00.

Rating: A-. This was great and played into the Iron Man style perfectly well. There is almost nothing in wrestling that is as guaranteed to work as well as Steamboat making a comeback and that is what he was doing for most of this match. Rude was at his best here and felt like a killer, with that last burst having me wanting to see Steamboat hang on. Great stuff here and one of the better Iron Man matches I’ve seen.

It’s time for round two of the bikini contest, with Missy Hyatt wearing a bikini, despite the third round being the bikini round. Did no one think these rules through?

Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham/Nikita Koloff vs. Dangerous Alliance

It’s Steve Austin/Arn Anderson/Bobby Eaton, with Paul E. Dangerously and Ole Anderson is special troubleshooting referee. Windham and Austin start things off with the former grabbing a hammerlock to take him down early on. Dustin comes in to stay on the arm before mixing it up with some dropkicks. An armbar sends Austin into the corner for the tag to Eaton as dang there is a lot of talent in here. Eaton knees him in the ribs and grabs a rollup for two before it’s off to Arn.

Koloff gets slapped in the face to bring him in and Arn quickly takes him down for a knee to the face. Back up and Koloff clotheslines Arn over the top, which leads to ANOTHER discussion about a rule involving the top rope. My goodness either make the rules clear or drop the stupid things. Arn gets back in but the Alliance is cleared out in a hurry, meaning it’s time for Dangerously to call for PLAN #2!

Back in and Windham atomic drops Arn but they ram heads for a double knockdown. It’s Arn up first and he charges into a boot in the corner, leading to another double down. Dustin comes back in to fire off some right hands, only for Arn to send him head first into Eaton (yes, Arn can be mean to his partners). Back up and Eaton is fine enough to wrap Dustin’s knee around the post before going after the arm. The villains get to take turns on Dustin, with Jesse yelling about Ole’s count being slow (as Jesse tended to do).

Eaton’s DDT on the arm sets up another hammerlock as this is not exactly thrilling stuff. It works so well that Arn comes back in to work on an armbar of his own. Dustin fights up and sends Arn head first into Eaton for a change (which is funny in a cruel way). Arn is right back up with a Stun Gun…but Dustin bounces over for the tag to Windham for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Windham hits the superplex on Austin but Arn makes the save…by coming off the top for the DQ at 15:31.

Rating: C+. You know, for a match with this kind of talent involved, you would expect that much more, but this only had some moments which were reaching the potential. The Alliance was not exactly in a good place at this point, but dang the people involved made it work to a certain extent. What did not work to an extent is the stupid top rope rule, which feels like WCW cutting things off before they get too fun, because we wouldn’t want that.

Post match the fight continues with the Alliance being cleaned out.

Ricky Steamboat is on the platform with Eric Bischoff and thanks the fans for standing by him in recent months. Tonight he showed that the Dangerous Alliance cannot dodge him anymore. Now he wants the US Title, but here is Paul E. Dangerously to say Steamboat has received his last title shot. Then Cactus Jack pulls Steamboat down and the fight is on, making me want to find their TV match because HOW COULD IT NOT BE GREAT?

Jesse Ventura joins Johnny B. Badd (now a sheriff) for the bikini round of the bikini contest, but stops to ask if Badd likes girls. Madusa goes first (not looking happy about it) and Missy….doesn’t go, because someone has stolen her bikini. Since she’s rather crafty, she steals Ventura’s scarf and turns it into a bikini.

Badd declares Missy the winner but Madusa slaps him into her own tent…and he comes out carrying her suit. Ventura goes into Madusa’s tent, then sticks his head out to declare Madusa the winner, hands down. Well that was creepy. Oh and we don’t get the OFFICIAL winner until tomorrow on Main Event, because WCW.

Tony Schiavone and Eric Bischoff hype up Cactus Jack vs. Ricky Steamboat and throw us to the main event.

Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Terry Gordy/Steve Williams

The Steiners are defending while Gordy and Williams are the new monsters from Japan. Gordy and Scott go to the mat to start and Gordy has to go to the rope immediately. Scott wrestles him down again and Gordy goes to the rope again as they’re taking their time to start. With the wrestling not working for Gordy, he switches to hitting Scott in the face, which goes as badly as you would expect.

Everything breaks down for a second but we settle back down before things get too exciting (just not the WCW way a lot of the time). Williams comes in and you just know Ross is right there with every college accolade he can throw in. Naturally they go with the amateur wrestling as we get the five minute all just under four minutes in. Williams misses a charge into the corner but blocks a suplex, leaving Scott to sunset lip him instead. Rick comes in and we actually get a rare Varsity Club reference.

They lock up in the corner as Ventura can’t believe the idea of Rick having a degree in education. Rick manages to get a suplex and Williams needs a breather on the floor. Back in and Williams runs him over with some football tackles, and yes Ross knows Williams’ football number from Oklahoma. A Steiner Line only gets Rick so far as it’s back to Gordy. Rick suplexes him as well but Williams comes back in and plows through Rick to send him outside. A sunset flip back in gives Rick two but Gordy is right back with a half crab as the slow pace continues.

They fight over the leglocks until Rick manages a suplex, allowing the tag back to Scott. Not to be outdone, Scott ties up Gordy’s leg and they roll around a bit. Williams comes back in but can’t send Scott head first into the buckle so they grapple against the ropes some more. Some double teaming slows Scott down and Williams kicks the knee out, which even Ventura admits was a bit rough.

Gordy and Williams take turns working on the leg, with Ventura almost sounding scared by the idea of Williams being nicknamed Dr. Death back in junior high. Scott starts fighting up but gets kicked in the knee, just in case the fans had something to care about. Gordy ties the legs up again before it’s back to Williams for some slaps to the face. The half crab keeps things slow and Williams hands it back to Gordy for a half crab of his own.

Williams comes back in for a full crab but this time Scott gets up and makes the tag to Rick. House is actually cleaned, with the middle rope bulldog dropping Williams. Gordy offers a distraction though and Williams hits a heck of a clothesline. The middle rope powerslam gets two on Rick as the fans get back into things. A shoulder gives Williams two more as we have less than five minutes.

Gordy’s suplex gets two as commentary tries to make this sound more interesting than what we’re seeing. Williams grabs a reverse chinlock, again stomping out that pesky excitement factor at all costs. The Doctor Bomb gives Williams two and the front facelock goes on again. The Oklahoma Stampede is broken up though and they’re both down. One heck of a Steiner Line drops Gordy and we have a minute left with both of them down again. Rick finally gets over to Scott to pick up the pace as everything breaks down. A butterfly powerbomb sets up the Frankensteiner but time expires at 30:00 (28:22 actually).

Rating: B-. I’ve seen this match a few times now and it still does not work. It feels like a match where they’re trying to keep things from being interesting and go with grappling and holds. That can be interesting in certain styles but this felt like they were going for dull for whatever reason. It doesn’t help that Gordy and Williams would win the titles a few weeks later, then win the NWA Tag Team Titles as well, because Bill Watts LOVED these guys. It’s certainly a style, but it’s not a style that was going to work in the 90s.

Eric and Tony wrap us up. I’m still not sure why they were here other than Eric’s job title.

Ross and Ventura wrap us up and the credits roll.

Overall Rating: B+. There is a great show in there, with the Iron Man match and Sting vs. Cactus Jack both being instant classics. Your mileage in the main event will vary pretty hard but it wasn’t the worst match. Throw in a good opener and some other decent enough matches and this was one of the best WCW shows in history. Just mix the show up so that the order makes some more sense and figure out that STUPID top rope stuff and it could be even better.

 

 

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