Monday Night Raw – September 1, 2008 (2025 Edition): Fruit Baskets Go Over There

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 1, 2008
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Unforgiven and the big matches are entirely set. The good thing is that this includes the incredible Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho match, which is pretty much carrying the quality side of things. Other than that you have CM Punk ready to defend in the Championship Scramble which is….well it exists. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Killer Kowalski.

Here is the injured Randy Orton for a chat and the hometown fans are happy to see him. Orton confirms that he is not 100% yet but there is something he has to get off his chest. He believes that a brand is only as strong as its champions. When he was on top, Raw was the best thing going but now it’s a joke. Beth Phoenix runs around like a lovesick puppy after the weakest Intercontinental Champion of all time in Santino Marella. Then you have Priceless, who should be called Worthless, because they don’t even have their belts.

Finally though, we have someone who is disgracing the World Title in CM Punk. Four years ago, Punk was wrestling in no name towns but then he won a briefcase and got the World Title. That makes Orton sick and he would love to challenge Punk to get the title back tonight. Cue Punk, who says he is getting a headache from listening to Orton. Not everyone has their daddy and grandfather getting them into WWE.

Punk doesn’t drink, smoke, or go for joy rides on his motorcycle at 3am and make his injury even worse. He’s going to retain the title on Sunday, and then he wants Orton to come tell him how pathetic he is again. Orton says they’ll continue this at a later time and walks away. Cue JBL to interrupt, saying Punk doesn’t get it. Fairy tales aren’t real and the Cinderella run ends on Sunday.

We get the traditional odds explanation and JBL says anyone could take the title from Punk on Sunday. Cue Kane to interrupt, saying that he’s been to H*** and he didn’t see JBL’s Clothesline. He did see Rey Mysterio though, so he’s not likely for the scramble match. Cue Batista to interrupt but he opts to beat everyone else up rather than speaking. Batista walks out rather quickly, leaving the other three laying. I love Punk and I was thrilled when he won the title but egads he could not look much weaker.

Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas

This week’s Haas impression is….John Cena, so the fans are not happy with the fake out. Haas says “the Haas is here and you can’t see me.” Then how do we know you’re here? Kingston starts fast with a monkey flip but Haas knocks him down. The Five Knuckle Shuffle is blocked though and Kingston grabs a Russian legsweep into the Boom Drop. A rollup doesn’t work for Haas and Trouble In Paradise finishes him in a hurry. The Haas impressions are funny enough but if he’s going to lose in short order every time, their charm isn’t likely to last very long.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase talk to Randy Orton, who slaps Rhodes in the face. Orton tells them to grow a set because otherwise, he stands by everything he says.

ECW GM Teddy Long, and his assistant Tiffany, are here with Mike Adamle. Their Scramble participants are in a battle royal tonight, which Adamle says is like a Jerry Lawis Labor Day telethon without the kids. Long tries to get his head around that one as Kane comes in to say that Adamle advertising Rey Mysterio was stupid because his body has been destroyed. Adamle was hoping it would make Mysterio show up, so Kane tells him to keep hoping.

Battle Royal

Matt Hardy, Chavo Guerrero, Miz, Finlay, Mark Henry

Henry’s ECW Title isn’t on the line and yeah it’s a five man battle royal. Everyone else goes after Henry to start and that goes nowhere, as Henry shoves them all away. Some double teaming does get Henry off his feet (not a great idea in a battle royal) but Miz goes after Hardy. Guerrero jumps Miz so Henry dumps both of them and we’re already down to three. Henry misses a charge into the corner though and Hardy strikes away but he and Finlay can’t get the elimination. Finlay is tossed but Hardy is back up with the middle rope elbow to the head. The Twist Of Fate is easily blocked though and Henry tosses him for the win.

Rating: D+. What is there to say here? It’s a five man battle royal and only went on for a few minutes. There isn’t much that can be done with a regular match in that amount of time but having such a small field for a battle royal makes it even harder. Henry winning a match that is built for someone like him doesn’t help either, making this quite the weak offering.

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Layla is at ringside so Noble can impress her. Regal goes right at him and grabs a full nelson, which is reversed into a rollup for two. A left hand drops Noble and the half and half suplex does it again. Noble is right back up with a small package for the pin out of nowhere and Layla does seem somewhat impressed.

Jillian Hall sings a bit before a six woman tag.

Jillian Hall/Beth Phoenix/Katie Lea Burchill vs. Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Candice Michelle

Phoenix tells Randy Orton to watch and this is Michelle’s big return after a very long injury absence. Burchill and Kelly start things off with Burchill taking her down for two so it’s off to James for a top rope Thesz press. Burchill takes James into the corner though and Hall comes in, only to get forearmed in the face to cut that off fast.

Phoenix grabs a suplex to drop James again though and it’s back to Hall. A neckbreaker gets James out of trouble and Michelle gets to come in and clean house. Michelle tries a high crossbody but Phoenix rolls through and….I have absolutely no idea what the next sequence was supposed to be. They are on different plants for a bit but after about twenty seconds of not being able to do anything right, Michelle small packages her for the pin.

Rating: D+. They got so messed up in the end there, and while it felt like they just messed up to start and then both tried to fix it in a different way, they did at least get the right result. That being said, they didn’t have time to do much here (again) and Michelle coming back to beat the champ after the better part of a year away pretty much just proves Orton right about Phoenix.

We get a long recap of Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, which is now a personal rivalry over Jericho accidentally (in theory) hitting Michaels’ wife in the face. Michaels was ready to retire, but now it’s time for personal revenge with Michaels angrier than he has been in a long time. This has been the best thing on Raw since it started and now we are ready for one more huge fight between them, which should be outstanding.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Non-title. Hold on though as Marella wants to show that Randy Orton was wrong. Marella orders the HONK-A-METER, which shows that Honky Tonk Man was Intercontinental Champion for 64 weeks. On the other hand, Marella has been the Intercontinental Champion for 2 weeks, putting him 62 weeks back.

That is nothing for Marella, and then he will be the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. I can’t stand Santino but this is still one of those gags that will always make me chuckle. It’s so stupid that it’s funny and that can work so well. Marella drives him into the corner to start but Brown is back up with a running clothesline for two. A Shining Wizard drops Marella but he avoids the Low Down and gets the fast pin.

This week’s classic moment: the first Raw in MSG. Yeah that fits.

Cryme Tyme vs. John Morrison/The Miz

Hold on as Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes run in to jump Cryme Tyme and beat them down. The champs get their belts back and there’s no match.

Post break Rhodes and DiBiase run into Orton, who doesn’t say anything but seems pleased.

WWE is at the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis.

Batista’s game plan for tonight: destroy everyone.

Unforgiven rundown.

Battle Royal

Batista, CM Punk, JBL, Kane

Non-title and it’s somehow even lamer than earlier with a four man battle royal because there’s no Rey Mysterio. There is however Randy Orton, who is watching at ringside. Batista hammers on Kane to start and JBL knocks Punk down in the corner. Some running corner clotheslines have Batista in control but he can’t throw Punk out. Kane boots Batista in the face though and Punk hits a clothesline to get rid of him.

JBL boots the other two out but Punk backdrops him out, leaving us with Punk vs. Kane. Some shots to the face aren’t enough to get rid of Punk so Kane gives him a side slam. Kane knocks him to the apron so Punk tries a springboard, for Kane to grab him by the throat and toss him out for the win.

Rating: D. This felt like something they would do on a Memphis territory house show in front of 200 people when some wrestlers didn’t show up. The match runs about four minutes and nothing really happens, with Orton just sitting there being the, for lack of a better word, highlight. This was rough, but what were the wrestlers supposed to do under these circumstances?

Post match Punk and Orton have a staredown, with Punk hitting him in the face. Cue Rey Mysterio, leaving Kane stunned. Mysterio actually beats Kane down and gives him a 619 around the post.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring for the Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels contract signing. Jericho comes out and Lawler says that WWE is waived of all liabilities before bringing Michaels out as well. Both of them sign and Lawler tries to wrap it up but Jericho cuts him off. Jericho asks why Michaels has this much security, because Jericho isn’t stupid enough to get violent here. Michaels says it’s not his security because he wants it to be the two of them alone. Jericho sends security and Lawler away, which is following Michaels’ advice, which Michaels would never do for him.

This week, Jericho did sit his family down and tell them that he will never be Shawn Michaels. He will never be a lying, cheating, manipulative monster. They will not be watching Unforgiven because he doesn’t want them to see what he’ll be doing. Jericho isn’t going to go soft on Michaels because of Michaels’ precious wife. The only person Michaels has to blame for this is himself.

Michaels is glad that Jericho’s family won’t be watching and neither will Michaels’. He wants to tell them about the time when he almost walked away but came back so he could look evil in the face and spit in its eye. Unforgiven is an appropriate name for the event because he will never forgive Jericho for what he did. All he hopes is that someday God can forgive him for what he’ll do to Jericho.

That makes Jericho stand up so Michaels takes off his jacket but Lance Cade runs in. Michaels takes him out and glares at Jericho to end the show. These two are selling the living heck out of this match and I want to see them tear into each other. You can feel the intensity here and there is nothing else like it in WWE at the moment.

Overall Rating: C-. I hope Jericho and Michaels got a very nice selection of fruit baskets from the roster because they are carrying this show on their backs. The problem here is so much of the rest of the show is built around the Scramble and there is pretty much nothing left to say about it. That makes for a very tedious show and that was on display here. The Michaels/Jericho segments are great, but that’s about it for the show. Well other than the Honk-A-Meter, but that goes without saying.

 

 

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