Summerslam Count-Up – 2012 (2025 Edition): I’ve Already Forgotten
Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,205
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
So Brock Lesnar is back and someone has to stop him. Naturally in this case that means HHH, who is still one of the most important people in the company. Lesnar broke HHH’s arm so HHH is back in the ring to get some revenge. That is pretty much the entire focus of the show, along with the required World Title matches. Let’s get to it.
Kickoff Show: Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro
Cesaro (and yes, Antonio Cesaro), with Aksana, is challenging and gets to say “greatest” in five languages before his match (and yes, we were supposed to be surprised when this didn’t get over). They grapple to the mat to start and Marella can actually hang with him down there, followed by a judo throw to bring Cesaro down.
Cesaro breaks out of an armbar without much trouble but Marella is already loading up the Cobra. That’s not happening either so Cesaro takes him to the mat for a chinlock with a knee in Marella’s back. Marella gets up and suplexes Cesaro down but the Cobra is ripped up. Marella fights back and pulls out another Cobra, only for Aksana to offer a distraction. The Neutralizer gives Cesaro the pin and the title at 5:09.
Rating: C. That’s all it should have been as Cesaro wasn’t going to be in any danger against a joke like Marella. The point in putting the title on Marella was to have him lose it in dominant fashion against a big threat and that’s what we got here. The match was nothing of note but that wasn’t the point, as Cesaro basically mauled him in the end.
The opening video looks at the history of Summerslam before shifting to Lesnar vs. HHH. The other matches are basically ignored, as this is all that matters.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho
Ziggler is Mr. Money In The Bank and has Vickie Guerrero with him while Jericho only has bad ribs (thanks to Ziggler on Smackdown). Ziggler bails out to the floor to start so Jericho gives chase, setting up a running elbow to the jaw back inside. With the running stuff not working, Ziggler gets smart by going after the ribs to take over. An ax handle to the ribs gets two but Jericho is back up with a backdrop to the floor (with a heck of a bump from Ziggler).
Jericho does the Hogan hand to the ear but misses the triangle…well it wasn’t going to be a dropkick even if it hit. Back in and Ziggler takes him down into some kind of a rib stretch, followed by a Stinger Splash for two. A neckbreaker lets Ziggler mock the arrogant cover for two more but another Stinger Splash misses. Jericho hits the middle rope ax handle but gets sent into the corner again, allowing Ziggler to hit the Fameasser for two.
The enziguri gives Jericho two of his own but Ziggler is right back with a rather messy looking sleeper. That’s broken up (because it’s a sleeper) so Jericho catches him on top with a super hurricanrana and they both crash down. The running DDT gives Ziggler two and the Zig Zag gets the same, leaving Vickie screaming on the floor.
Back up and Jericho hits a quick Codebreaker but Ziggler rolls out to the floor. Vickie grabs the leg so Jericho can get two off a small package, leaving her screaming again. The Liontamer makes Ziggler tap at 13:04. This is described as Jericho “winning the big one” at Summerslam and….really? He’s won matches at Summerslam before but THIS is the big one?
Rating: B-. The match was fine as you would expect, but I’m not buying this being Jericho winning “the big one” at Summerslam. Jericho is a former multiple time World Champion and has main evented Wrestlemania. Having him win an opener against someone like Ziggler doesn’t feel like a major accomplishment, but rather just something he happens to be doing here.
We look at Brock Lesnar breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm on Raw, which even Paul Heyman thinks might be too far.
Heyman announces that HHH has talked the referee into letting them go a bit further tonight. Lesnar says HHH is in a fight he can’t win, with Heyman saying the two words are “tap out”.
Daniel Bryan vs. Kane
So they’re both having trouble dealing with anger, including Bryan being VERY angry that the fans are cheering for him, even if it’s more mocking this time. Bryan kicks away at the ribs to start before moonsaulting over Kane, who plants him with a slam. The basement dropkick gets one and Kane throws him hard out to the floor. Bryan gets in a shot on the floor though and the missle dropkick gets two back inside.
The fans get to Bryan again but he fires off the YES Kicks anyway. The big kick to the head misses (as it almost always does) though and Kane drops him with a hard clothesline. Kane’s side slam gets two as the loose string on his boot is driving me crazy. There’s the top rope clothesline for two but Bryan escapes the chokeslam and bails outside.
Back in and Bryan hits him in the face, which goes about as well as you probably expect. Bryan goes for the arm though and now the big kick to the head connects. The top rope headbutt is countered into a chokeslam but the Tombstone is countered into a small package (ignore Kane’s shoulder being up) for the pin at 8:03.
Rating: C+. This was another fun one, as Bryan gets to work in his small package, which has been a near trademark for him over the years. The double anger management thing was a good touch and the two of them worked well together in any capacity. If nothing else, this was a lot better than the rumored deal with Charlie Sheen for Bryan, as he and Kane would wind up having a heck of a run together as a team shortly after this.
Post match Kane stalks Bryan to the back, shouting WHERE IS HE and breaking various things (including Josh Matthews).
Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz
Mysterio, as Batman, is challenging but Miz tops him by bringing back the awesome AWESOME balloons for his own entrance. Miz gets in an early knockdown to start so Mysterio grabs a rollup for two, sending him outside. They trade spots a few times, allowing Mysterio to dropkick him through the ropes.
Back in and Miz fires off some kicks, setting up a torture rack dropped into a backbreaker for two. A kick to the head gives Miz two and we hit the cravate. Miz hits a clothesline from his knees for another near fall but Mysterio catches him up top. The top rope seated senton starts the comeback but Miz is right there with a snazzy slingshot sitout powerbomb. Mysterio is back up with a 619 so he tries to Drop The Dime, which is pulled out of the air. That’s reversed into a cradle for two but Miz is right back with the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin to retain at 9:09.
Rating: C+. This was a match that could have been on any given Raw and again that’s not exactly Summerslam worthy. I can always go for the Miz, but this was just he and Mysterio having a match which came and went without doing much of anything. Totally fine and watchable stuff, but for a Monday night in the middle of May, not at the Staples Center at Summerslam.
Eve Torres and Teddy Long think Raw GM AJ Lee is a bit nuts. They leave and CM Punk goes in to see Lee, saying that he doesn’t like being in a triple threat for his title. Punk thinks it’s because he turned down her proposal (Lee was….something at this point), though Lee won’t say anything. He says that’s rather disrespectful, but promises to defend the title tonight. Then tomorrow on Raw, she’ll be forced to show him respect. Lee continues to look off into space and not say a word as Punk leaves.
We recap Alberto Del Rio challenging Sheamus for the Smackdown World Title. Del Rio said Sheamus was beneath him and wanted the title, which is the entire point of the feud. Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car and drove it around San Antonio before leaving the car a mess. Del Rio teased getting Sheamus arrested but had fake cops beat Sheamus up instead. The match was still on for Summerslam.
Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus
Sheamus is defending and Ricardo Rodriguez is here with Del Rio (ok I had forgotten how good the personalized ring announcing can be). They start fast and go to the floor, with both of them being sent into a hard object. Back in and Del Rio kicks him in the head, followed by another one to the bad arm to put Sheamus in trouble. The cross armbreaker is easily countered into the Regal Roll for two but Del Rio kicks him in the arm again.
Another cross armbreaker attempt is cut off but the Brogue Kick misses as well. Del Rio knocks him outside, followed by a top rope chop to the head for two back inside. More kicks have Sheamus in trouble but he fights up with the raw power. Del Rio goes right back to the arm to knock him out of the air though and the cross armbreaker finally goes on.
That’s broken up with quite the powerbomb, followed by White Noise for two. The Brogue Kick is blocked so Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest. Del Rio kicks him in the head for two so Rodriguez throws in a shoe. That’s intercepted and Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for the pin, but Del Rio’s foot is on the rope…and it doesn’t matter as Sheamus knocks it off and gets the win at 11:23.
Rating: B-. This is a basic story that makes perfect sense, but that doesn’t make it interesting. I remember watching this feud as it played out and there was never a moment where I felt invested in the story. It’s just Sheamus having matches with someone who felt beneath him and that wasn’t going to work. The stuff with the car was fine, but Del Rio didn’t feel like a threat to win the title, which sums up a lot of the issues he had after around 2011 or so.
Sheamus’ “oh well” shrug and smile are great. Del Rio blames Rodriguez for the loss and walks out.
Earlier today, HHH told the referee to let he and Brock Lesnar fight tonight.
Tag Team Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth
Kingston and R-Truth are defending. The serious R-Truth jumps Young to start and hammers away. Young drives him into the corner though and hands it off to O’Neil for some barking. A front facelock slows R-Truth down but he’s back up with a kick to the face. Kingston comes in to clean house, including the Boom Drop to O’Neil.
The chase around the ring goes badly for Kingston though as a cheap shot lets the villains take over. O’Neil suplexes Young onto Kingston for two. Commentary discusses Little Jimmy’s parentage as O’Neil puts on an abdominal stretch. That’s broken up and it’s back to R-Truth as everything breaks down. Young grabs a rollup for two but walks into Little Jimmy for the pin to retain at 7:03.
Rating: C-. If there has been a recurring theme on this show, it’s “this doesn’t feel like it belongs on Summerslam” and this match is the poster child for those issues. This would have been dull on any given edition of Raw and it wasn’t any better here. I get that you need a bit of a breather between two of the bigger matches, but as usual, the Tag Team Titles do not feel remotely important. It’s not the wrestlers’ fault as they had a decent enough match, but dang this felt out of place.
We look at WWE taking over Los Angeles.
We recap CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against John Cena and Big Show. Punk got tired of the lack of respect despite being World Champion and turned evil by attacking Cena. In addition, Show has been knocking people out to keep himself involved as well. Rather kooky General Manager AJ Lee made it a triple threat to torment Punk, who is all about getting respect.
Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. Big Show
Punk is defending. Show drops both of them to dominate early and hits the big chops. A double suplex sends Cena and Punk flying and Show knocks Cena outside. Back up and Punk gets smart by kicking the leg out as the fans are rather pro-Punk. Cena comes back in and gets kicked down for two, only for Show to stand on Punk’s back. Show sends Cena outside again and pulls a springboarding Punk out of the air to plant him down.
Back in and Cena gets speared down for two, setting up a Vader Bomb. Punk moves out of the way so Cena gets fully crushed, leaving Punk to be chokeslammed against the ropes. The side slam plants Cena as this has been almost all Show. Cena is back up with the ProtoBomb to drop Show but Punk is right there to break up the Shuffle. Punk drops a top rope elbow for two, with the kickout sending him flying.
Another kick to the head sets up a Koji Clutch, which is broken up in short order. Cena gets Show in the STF but it’s countered as well. Punk gets the Koji Clutch on Show again but Cena adds the STF and Show taps at 12:34. Punk and Cena both celebrate but there’s no ruling. Cue AJ Lee to say restart the match, so Show chokeslams both of them for two each. The KO Punch misses though and Cena gives Show the AA, only to be thrown outside so Punk can steal the pin to retain at 14:28.
Rating: B-. Show looked dominant, but the double submission took a lot of that away in a hurry. I didn’t even remember this match taking place here and that’s because, and I hate to sound like such a corrupted mp3 (because my goodness it’s time enough to get a new metaphor) but this isn’t something that felt worthy of being on Summerslam. It’s just another triple threat that feels like what you do when you don’t have a good enough idea. AJ being all crazy and messing with Punk is fine, but find a better way to do it.
Celebrities are here!
We look at the new WWE movie, the Day. It had no wrestlers in prominent roles, got bad reviews and made $20,000 in theaters.
We look at Cesaro winning the US Title on the pre-show.
Kevin Rudolph sings the theme song. Were we really short on time here or something? Various WWE women come out to dance, with Michael Cole doing the same on commentary.
We recap HHH vs. Brock Lesnar. Basically Lesnar had a bunch of demands, like a looser schedule, Vince McMahon’s private jet and more money, but HHH said no chance. Lesnar broke HHH’s arm and a few months later, the match was set for Summerslam. This led to an almost bizarre visual of Stephanie McMahon arguing with Paul Heyman, which might have been even more entertaining. Lesnar responded by breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm as well and the match was on.
HHH vs. Brock Lesnar
The rules are slightly relaxed here and Lesnar has Paul Heyman with him. Lesnar powers him into the corner to start but the Kimura is blocked. HHH clotheslines him to the floor and hits the running knee to put Lesnar down for a breather. Another clothesline puts Lesnar on the floor and Heyman tells him to slow it down. Back in and Lesnar takes the gloves off before knocking HHH outside.
The previously broken arm is dropped onto the announcers’ table as HHH is in trouble. Back in and HHH slugs away but gets cut off with a German suplex. They go back outside and the bad arm is sent into the steps. HHH gets sent over the announcers’ table, followed by a hard clothesline back inside.
HHH fights back and tries the Pedigree but gets sent back to the floor, with the arm getting banged up again. Lesnar goes after him but HHH sends him ribs first into the announcers’ table, leaving Lesnar in trouble. Back in and HHH fires off the knees to the ribs, followed by the spinebuster. The Pedigree gets two so Lesnar hits him low for a breather. The F5 gives Lesnar two (Heyman: “WHAT DOES IT TAKE?”) so the Kimura goes on. That’s broken up and HHH hits another Pedigree, only to get caught in the Kimura for the tap at 18:43.
Rating: B. I guess you can call this the match of the night, as it’s the only match on the show that was treated as a big deal. It wasn’t exactly in doubt as HHH isn’t going to beat Lesnar at Summerslam (he would of course save that for Wrestlemania), which left this as kind of an “ok, and then what?” feeling. The stuff with the arm worked as a story, but it was a question of how Lesnar would win rather than would he win.
Post match Lesnar and Heyman leave, with HHH doing the big dramatic stand as the fans cheer for him. HHH: “I’m sorry.” Somehow this feud would continue for about eight more months, with HHH winning at Wrestlemania (of course) and Lesnar beating him at Extreme Rules to wrap it up and finally move on to something new.
Overall Rating: C+. The show isn’t bad as a whole, but there is a reason I saw this on the list and could barely remember anything about it. Outside of the main event, this is as nothing of a Summerslam as you’ll ever find, with pretty much nothing important happening here. So much of this show feels like it’s setting up something else for later and that’s not what I’m wanting out of one of the biggest events of the year. I get the idea of building off of this, but there was just nothing going on here and it’s a totally forgettable show as a result.
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