Monday Night Raw – December 2, 1996: And The Reason Is Clear
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 2, 1996
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 4,968
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
We’re just done with Survivor Series and on the way to It’s Time, which means we could be in for a lot of Vader. That’s in theory only though, as Vader isn’t actually scheduled for the show, but the focus will be on Sid instead. He’s going to need some competition though and we might find out some more about that this week. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Flash Funk vs. The Goon
The Funkettes are here with Funk. Goon jumps him from behind to start fast and hammers away. Funk kicks him to the head and gets two off a sunset flip out of the corner. We go split screen to look at Sid vs. Bret Hart in London last week as Funk takes him down with an armbar. Goon is sent outside for a middle rope clothesline, followed by a top rope moonsault. We take a break and come back with Funk working on the armbar again. That’s broken up and Goon drops a middle rope elbow. Funk suplexes him out of the corner though and a moonsault legdrop finishes Goon at 9:04.
Rating: C-. Other than the cool finisher, there was no reason for this to go so long. At the end of the day, occasionally you need to see someone just get a squash win and that was the case here. Funk isn’t a big star, but he’s a bigger deal than the Goon and it shouldn’t have taken nine minutes to get to the proper result.
Last week in London, Steve Austin wasn’t happy. This was very Stone Cold and that’s only going to get better.
Diesel vs. Phineas Godwinn
The bell rings and we IMMEDIATELY cut to a split (and then full) screen look at Jerry Lawler breaking Tiny Tim’s ukulele back in July 1993. We actually go back to the match with Diesel hitting an elbow in the corner and a side slam. The running crotch attack to the back connects as Jim Ross hypes up Diesel and Razor Ramon getting a Tag Team Title shot at It’s Time. Phineas sends him into the corner and a belly to back suplex but here is Ramon for a distraction. The Jackknife finishes for Diesel at 3:43.
Rating: D+. As has been the case before, it’s not a good sign when the match is ignored for the sake of talking about something that has nothing to do with the match. In this case it was over three years old and had no major connection to anything here. If they don’t care about Diesel (and Razor Ramon), why keep having him on TV?
Shawn Michaels joins us to say he was defensive last week but not defensive enough. He’s fine with Sid hitting him with a camera at Survivor Series, but he’s not ok with Sid attacking Jose Lothario. Michaels goes into a rant about giving the fans what they want and promises to win the WWF Title back at the Royal Rumble. We also hear something about dragging skeletons out of the closet and having his navel pierced. If Michaels was on something here, I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised.
Justin Bradshaw vs. Jesse Jammes
Bradshaw has Uncle Zebekiah (Dutch Mantel) with him and Jammes is the former Roadie, who has since been revealed as the real singing voice behind Jeff Jarrett’s music career. Believe it or not, this wasn’t the big break he was looking for. Jammes crossbodies him to start and Bradshaw is already bailing out to the floor. Back in and Bradshaw shrugs ff some right hands before kicking Jammes in the face.
Jammes gets knocked into the ropes but comes back with a suplex. A swinging neckbreaker cuts that off in a hurry and Bradshaw yells at the referee for being slow. The sleeper is countered with a belly to back suplex (clearly something he learned from Jarrett) and Jammes starts the comeback. Some right hands and a dancing clothesline set up a knee lift but Jammes goes outside to yell at Zebekiah. Back in and Zebekiah trips him down, setting up Bradshaw’s lariat for the pin at 5:55.
Rating: C. Match of the night thus far, partially because it didn’t feel like it went on far too long. Bradshaw is basically what he would be for years to come, at least in the ring, while Jammes still isn’t showing much in the way of in-ring action. It’s a fine enough match, but it’s not like either of these two are known for what they do in the ring.
Jerry Lawler takes Sid’s place in the Karate Fighters tournament and beats Todd Pettingill.
Last week, the British Bulldog cut off Steve Austin from Pillmanizing Bret Hart’s leg. This led to a brawl in England last year, with Hart saving Bulldog. Then Sid beat up Hart, who can’t catch a break.
Owen Hart and Bulldog are ready to beat up Austin.
Bret Hart will see Austin down the road and wants to win the WWF Title again.
Sid is ready to beat up Bret at It’s Time.
Merc Mero/Jake Roberts vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley/Billy Gunn
Roberts chases Gunn into the ropes to start before hitting a running knee to the floor. We get a split screen interview with Jesse Jammes, who is ready to face Bradshaw again next week. Mero comes in to chase Helmsley out to the floor so Mero settles for a running knee to Gunn instead.
It’s back to Roberts to work on the arm before Mero chases Helmsley to the floor again. Gunn gets his arm cranked on even more as that’s the extent of the heroes’ offense. A backdrop gives Mero two and Roberts comes back in for the short arm clothesline. Gunn finally gets over to Helmsley, who gets to stomp on Roberts in the corner.
We take a break and come back with Helmsley grabbing a front facelock. Gunn gets to do the same but Roberts fights out for a double down. Mero comes in to clean house as Gunn and Helmsley get in an argument. Mero’s Samoan drop into the Wild Thing finishes Helmsley at 15:28.
Rating: C+. It was long and the parts with Roberts were rough, but I’ll take just about anything after this mess of a show. Mero is starting to figure things out in the ring at this point and it’s making for some fun watches. He’s already in the Intercontinental Title picture and that result is only going to get him closer.
Post match Roberts gives Helmsley the snake treatment to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. There’s a reason Monday Nitro was smashing through Raw at this point and…well ok it was the NWO, but this show wasn’t helping itself at all. Other than a just ok main event, there was nothing worth watching here and it was not an easy show to sit through. Maybe it gets better with some bigger names involved, but what we got here was not good and there was no way around it.
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