Bashed In The USA: I’d Bash It Too (Full Show Included)
Bashed In The USA
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, Jim Ross, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan
Host: Mr. Perfect
I’ve seen this tape before but it’s been such a long time that it’s worth another look now that the Vault has put it up. This is from 1993 so it’s not the greatest time in the company’s history but there should be some decent stuff in there. If nothing else, Bret and Shawn should be around to save things. Let’s get to it.
Out host is Mr. Perfect, who is looking for the perfect…stamp. Geez how bad were the ideas they rejected?
From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Razor Ramon vs. Big Boss Man
Ramon offers ring announcer Mike McGuirk a kiss before the match but she doesn’t seem interested. They stall a lot to start with Ramon wanting the nightstick gone (fair) and then promising to throw Boss Man out. Boss Man responds by SNAPPING THE TOOTHPICK but Ramon bails to the floor. After over two minutes of stalling, Boss Man wants to head outside as well, meaning it’s time for some stretching on the barricade.
Ramon invites Boss Man back inside so Boss Man shakes the ropes for a low blow, which I guess counts as contact? They finally lock up after over three minutes and they roll around the ropes. Ramon shoves him so Boss Man is back with a good right hand. Ramon’s headlock and shoulder don’t get him very far so Boss Man invites him to try it again.
We go to the test of strength, with Boss Man going down to a knee and Ramon kicks him in the ribs for daring to try a comeback. Boss Man fights up and hits the uppercut before elbowing him into a rollup for two. Some right hands in the corner have Ramon in more trouble but he grabs the nightstick. The big swing misses but Ramon gets a boot up in the corner. A rollup with feet on the ropes gives Ramon the cheap pin at 7:45.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t very good, as it was a bunch of stalling and then some very basic stuff. Boss Man was mostly done as a big deal at this point and wouldn’t even be around the company that much longer. Ramon on the other hand was brand new so giving him a win helped. Just maybe make it a bit better on the way there next time.
Mr. Perfect doesn’t think much of Ramon and we see a clip from Survivor Series 1992 of Perfect cleaning house with a chair.
From June 3, 1992 in Cornwall, Ontario, Canada.
Rick Martel/Money Inc. vs. Tatanka/High Energy
Jimmy Hart is here with Martel and company. Owen armdrags DiBiase down to start as commentary buries someone named Marty Applebaum, who apparently works for Coliseum Video. This isn’t the first time they’ve mocked him so we have a running joke, and it’s a long run as well as this goes on for a good while. DiBiase armdrags Owen right back and mocks him a bit but gets dropkicked, with everything breaking down and the villains getting cleaned out.
Back in and Martel turns his back on Owen, who brings Tatanka in to take him apart. The middle rope chop to the head sends Martel to the floor and it’s off to Ware for a dropkick to IRS. Monsoon buries him too by saying Ware has put on about 25lbs. A shot from behind puts Ware down but he’s up and over to Tatanka for the tag. DiBiase gets a boot up in the corner, though commentary would rather talk about French fries. Martel comes in for kicking and choking and it’s back to IRS with a middle rope fist to the head.
DiBiase gets in a snapmare into a chinlock as Hayes talks about which partner Tatanka should tag (he picks Hart). Tatanka fights up for a sunset flip but gets caught in the front facelock. Naturally he gets over to Ware but the referee doesn’t see the tag, meaning IRS can choke in the corner (Hayes approves, like the evil Englishman he is). Tatanka finally suplexes his way to freedom and the tag brings in Hart to clean hammer away. Everything breaks down and DiBiase trips Ware, who gets pinned by IRS at 12:13, despite neither of them being legal (which Monsoon does point out).
Rating: C. This was long and fairly dull, but I can go for a six man where they get some people out there and let them do their thing for a bit. Martel and Tatanka were in the middle of a fairly dull feud but at least the other match was fairly fresh. The ending left a good bit to be desired though, as it wasn’t hard to keep track of who was legal. Unless you’re a Hebner, but why would you ever trust one of them?
Mr. Perfect finally gets some help with the stamp and throws us to a profile on Shawn Michaels. The store employee not even turning her head when Perfect stops to talk to the camera is rather funny.
Shawn Michaels can’t believe he was asked to get his amazing career down to three matches but he’s the Wrestler of the 90s so it’s easy enough.
From January 26, 1993 in Fresno, California.
Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Kamala
Michaels is defending and Slick is here with Kamala. Some belly slapping has Michaels dodging as there are A LOT of empty seats opposite the camera. Michaels slides between the legs as we’re still waiting on the first contact. The offer of a handshake lets Michaels get in a right hand but a whip out of the corner gets him nowhere. Instead Kamala chops him out to the floor and takes a quick lap, with Slick telling him to stay in the ring, which Hayes DOES NOT like.
Back in and Michaels’ cheap shot doesn’t work so Kamala grabs a bearhug into a choke. That’s broken up and Michaels gets in a shot off the top for a knockdown. Kamala is right back with a superkick and the chops before just dumping him over the top. Michaels throws Slick down and just walks out, with Kamala following for the double countout at 4:30.
Rating: C-. They didn’t have much time here and it wasn’t exactly worth seeing. Michaels was an all time in-ring star but there is only so much that even he can do in a four minute match against Kamala with so much of the time being wasted. As usual, I don’t get the point in having matches in a profile go like this but that’s the Coliseum Video way.
Post match Kamala drags Michaels back to the ring and gives him a splash.
Michaels mocks Kamala and is ready for his next match, even if it’s against an odd opponent.
From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Skinner
Michaels is defending again in a rare heel vs. heel match. We get a slow start as Michaels has to take his entrance gear off, with Skinner sending him straight into the corner. A slam drops Michaels and a heck of a right hand puts him on the floor. Back in and Skinner knocks him down again, followed by a swinging neckbreaker.
Commentary tries to figure out if Skinner would rather have the title or Michaels stuffed on his mantle. A shoulder breaker gets two and they go outside, where Skinner misses a charge into the post. Back in and Michaels tries to jump over him but gets punched in the face. Some hard headbutts and a faceplant have Michaels in more trouble. Skinner throws him over the top but Michaels slides back in for the superkick to retain at 4:40.
Rating: C+. Skinner was oddly impressive as a de facto face here, as he beat Michaels up until a quick ending. This was better than I was expecting, even with the heel vs. heel setup. I’m not sure how far Skinner could have gone, but he was shockingly good in this kind of a role.
Michaels says it’s time to face off against a real human being.
From October 28, 1992 in Louisville, Kentucky.
Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Virgil
Michaels is defending and takes him down without much trouble as Heenan worries about Michaels chewing gun during the match. Some slaps to the back of the head annoy Virgil so much that he hits a dropkick for two. That’s cut off in a hurry and Michaels knocks him down again, setting up a quick chinlock.
Virgil gets back up so Michaels drops him with a clothesline, followed by a not great looking suplex. Michaels charges into a boot in the corner and gets clotheslined in the back of his head, allowing Virgil to start the snap jabs. A middle rope clothesline gives Virgil two but he misses a knee in the corner. The teardrop suplex retains the title at 7:10.
Rating: C. I know Virgil had a bit of a following around this time but my goodness he’s just so generic. There’s nothing to him that makes him stand out in any way and his big move here was a middle rope clothesline. Michaels never felt in danger and it was nice to see him get a win, but it would have been better with a higher level opponent.
Michaels brags about his success and goes to answer the door because his chicks are here.
Mr. Perfect knows a lot about stamps.
From May 18, 1992 in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Battle Royal
Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Sgt. Slaughter, Tatanka, El Matador, Virgil, Texas Tornado, Barry Horowitz, Jim Powers, Repo Man, Kato, Skinner, Dale Wolfe, Brooklyn Brawler, Brian Costello, Reno Riggins, Barry Hardy, Duane Gill, Chuck Casey, Tom Stone, Crush, Colonel Mustafa, Burt Spears, George Anderson, Ron Cumberledge, Mark Spears, Ted DiBiase, IRS, Jerry Sags, Brian Knobbs, Beau Beverly, Blake Beverly, Hawk, Animal, Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Earthquake, Typhoon
I missed some of the jobbers’ names and I can’t imagine that matters whatsoever. They start fairly slowly as there is only so much room to maneuver out there right now. A bunch of people get together to doss Earthquake and Typhoon early on, which does at least give us some extra room. Naturally Hart and Michaels get into it, as they are eternally required to do. Cumberledge is out (Savage: “I was going to say the unknown soldier.”) and another jobber who isn’t worthy of commentary’s attention is out too.
Someone else (“Another young man.”) is tossed and Hawk actually goes up for some right hands, because he’s not all there. You can see a lot of people just standing around waiting on something to do because there is only so much room and stuff going on. Hawk and Sags are both knocked out and brawl on the floor before their partners are out as well. The ring is slowly starting to clear out but there are still a bunch of people.
Two more jobbers are out and at least now there is something of a space in the middle where some action can take place. More jobbers, Repo Man and Tornado are out and it’s time for some people to rake backs. Crush goes after both Beverlys as Michaels and Hart go out at the same time. Mustafa tosses Horowitz and IRS gets rid of Slaughter. Powers is out and the bizarre team of DiBiase and Kato get rid of Crush.
Brawler is out too and Tatanka gently puts Mustafa out. Ware is backdropped out (thank goodness he’s wearing parachute pants) and Stone is out (as he was somehow still in). Kato, DiBiase and Virgil (the last two together) are out in a row. Stone is out again (ok then) and we’re down to Tatanka, Blake, Beau and IRS. Tatanka tries to fight all of them but IRS dumps Beau. Tatanka gets rid of IRS and then chops Blake out for the win at 13:17.
Rating: C-. Pretty bleh battle royal here but they ran this forty man version all over the place. It’s still cool to see as it has a lot of the midcard, plus a wide variety of jobbers. There’s nothing in the way of action though and nothing was really built up, save for maybe the Beverlys hanging in there. Nothing much to see here, but the concept is cool.
Perfect rips up a $2 million stamp because it’s not in perfect condition.
Bret Hart does a lot of art. This is pretty well known and he’s rather talented. He draws (mainly in caricature/cartoon style) the Undertaker, Paul Bearer, Yokozuna, Mr. Fuji, Money Inc. and Hulk Hogan while talking about how everyone has a gift. Nice little feature here.
From June 1, 1992 in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.
Intercontinental Title: Rick Martel vs. Bret Hart
Hart is defending. Believe it or not they go technical to start, with neither being able to get an advantage. The headlock takeover into the headscissors sequence doesn’t go anywhere so Martel cartwheels away. Hart goes for the arm but Martel cartwheels away again, only to get clotheslined outside by an apparent gymnastics hater.
Back in and Martel gets in a few shots of his own to take over, only to miss a charge into the post. Hart works on the arm and gets two off a backslide before going back to the arm, as he is known to do. Martel gets out, misses an elbow, and gets armbarred again. That’s broken up as well and Martel knocks him down but the chinlock doesn’t last long. A sunset flip gives Hart two but Martel gives him a gutwrench suplex.
Another suplexes is broken up so Hart hits an atomic drop (you know the funny sell is included) and follows up with a clothesline. The Russian legsweep gets two but the referee gets bumped, allowing Martel to use the atomizer. The Boston crab goes on but here is Shawn Michaels to deck Hart for the DQ at 10:13.
Rating: C+. The ending actually makes sense, as Michaels was mildly obsessed with the idea of taking the title from Hart. Therefore, he didn’t want Martel to take the title, even if it meant screwing over a fellow heel. At the same time, this sets up Michaels vs. Martel in their bizarrely interesting No Punches To The Face match at Summerslam.
From June 30, 1992 in Binghamton, New York.
Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters
The Genius is here with the Brothers. The Brothers jump them to start but the Disasters actually do a do-see-do to avoid a crash into each other. Stereo splashes in the corner crush the Brothers and Earthquake splashes Typhoon into them. Earthquake and Blake fight to the floor but the distraction lets Beau hit Typhoon with Genius’ scroll.
A double clothesline out of the corner gets Typhoon out of trouble but Beau manages to snapmare him down. The chinlock doesn’t last long and it’s off to Earthquake to clean house. The powerslam and elbow get two on Blake, with Beau making the save. Everything breaks down and Typhoon beats up the Genius, leaving Earthquake to get double teamed on the floor. Beau dives back in to beat the count at 7:13.
Rating: D+. This is one of those matches that isn’t interesting or important and then they have a bad finish on top of it. The Beverly Brothers were as mediocre of a team as you could get and they’re beating the Natural Disasters? I’m not sure I get this one but that is how Coliseum Video matches tended to go.
Mr. Perfect is still not pleased with the stamp selection but throws us to our main event.
From March 8, 1993 in San Antonio, Texas.
Undertaker vs. Yokozuna
Paul Bearer and Yokozuna are here too. They stare each other down for a good while before Yokozuna’s right hands don’t do much. Instead Undertaker hits a running DDT but a clothesline puts him on the floor. Undertaker goes after Fuji but gets sent into the steps for his efforts. Back in and Yokozuna crushes him in the corner before dropping the big leg. The belly to belly suplex gets two so Yokozuna gets the salt bucket for the DQ at 4:08.
Rating: D-. What in the world was that? They stalled a lot at the beginning and then the match itself barely breaks four minutes. I have no idea what they were thinking here as it’s more a match that annoys the fans than anything else. If you don’t want either of them taking a pin, just don’t put the match together in the first place.
Post match the beatdown is on but the Banzai Drop misses. Undertaker fights back and Yokozuna walks away.
Perfect shows his perfect stamp and it’s…a picture of him. Well of course it is.
Overall Rating: D+. I for one am shocked that the best matches on a tape from 1993 involved Bret and Shawn. What I am rather shocked about though is the fact that Skinner had the match of the tape for a good stretch. This was a pretty rough collection with absolutely nothing worth seeing. It’s definitely not a great era for the company and if this is the best they could offer, you could see why.
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