Monday Night Raw – May 18, 2015: Must Go Faster, Must Go Faster

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 18, 2015
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

Payback is done and that means we have less than two weeks to go before Elimination Chamber and less than four weeks to go before Money in the Bank. Rollins retained the World Title last night with help from Kane and the Stooges, meaning Kane keeps his job. Now it’s time to find out who is next for the champ so let’s get to it.

We open with the stills from last night’s main event.

Here’s the Authority to open things up. Stephanie says she knows we all missed her and the sweet sound of her voice, but don’t worry because she’s back. HHH hates to be the one that told you so, but he told you so. Rollins is still World Champion because he got the job done over all of his challengers. Therefore tonight, we’re going to be paying tribute to Rollins in something called Seth Rollins: Architect of a Dream, which will include comments from all three men that Rollins defeated last night.

This brings us to tonight, and something hidden behind them. HHH unveils the Intercontinental Title, which will be decided for the first time ever inside the Elimination Chamber. After a quick package on the Chamber, here’s Sheamus to interrupt. Why are we having this Chamber match, when this happened? We see a clip of Sheamus destroying Bryan a few weeks back and possibly putting him out of action.

Sheamus wants the title right now, but here’s Ryback to interrupt. Ryback defends Bryan by saying he’s more of a man than Sheamus will ever be by fighting to become the Intercontinental Champion. If Sheamus likes picking on little guys so much, why not try picking on the Big Guy? Stephanie says they’re both in the Chamber but they’re going to fight each other right now.

Sheamus vs. Ryback

Ryback, with bad ribs coming in, bangs on his chest to start and takes Sheamus down with a Thesz press. A powerslam gets two on Sheamus and they head outside with Ryback and the bad ribs being knocked into the barricade as we take a break. Back with the two of them slugging it out from their knees as Cole thinks Ryback insulting Stephanie told him that Ryback had bad ribs. You know, instead of the tape. Sheamus kicks him in the ribs and hits five of the ten forearms until Ryback pulls him over the ropes.

A powerbomb puts Sheamus down but Ryback can’t cover. Ryback gets two off a spinebuster but Sheamus wants to take it outside. That’s fine with Ryback as he gorilla presses him onto the table for a big bounce. After sending him into the post, Ryback takes him into the corner where Sheamus claims something in his eye. The referee breaks it up and Sheamus nails a Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:06.

Rating: C+. This was about what I was expecting as they’re both the kind of big power brawlers who can pull off this kind of a match very well. Much like last night, WWE is nailing the idea of keeping the losers strong as the referee shoving Ryback away set up the Brogue instead of anything Sheamus did on his own. That’s a nice touch and helps a lot.

Stephanie puts Kane in charge of the celebration tonight. Rollins and the Stooges come in with champagne and give Kane a glass for finally having something to celebrate. This brings in Dean Ambrose to say he’s willing to give Seth a rematch for the title at Elimination Chamber. The Authority says no and leaves with Kane saying the champion gets to decide his own fate. Dean mocks Kane for being their lapdog and asks what Paul Bearer or Undertaker would think of Kane now. That earns him a match against Bray Wyatt tonight and a glass of champagne. Dean: “You shouldn’t drink on the clock.”

Renee Young brings out Neville for a chat. She asks about Neville having to face so much adversity, which Neville says makes him feel ten feet tall. He was the longest reigning NXT Champion of all time……and here’s Bo Dallas to interrupt. Dallas says this is like a fairy tale but in Neville’s case, it’s going to be the little engine that couldn’t. Neville brings up beating Dallas to start his NXT title reign and the fight is on with Dallas going after Neville’s tweaked knee. Neville knocks him to the floor but it’s time for his match.

Neville vs. King Barrett

Dallas is on commentary and says that going after Neville’s knee was a good thing, as it will make a victory mean all the more. Neville fights out of the corner as Booker and Dallas have a battle of wits on commentary. The King starts going after the knee as we take a break. Back with a chop block getting two for Barrett but he misses a running big boot in the corner. Neville hurts his knee on a kick to the ribs and can’t hit the German suplex. The knee buckles one more time and it’s the Bull Hammer for the pin at 7:35. Cole makes sure to remind us of the pre-match attack to keep Neville looking strong.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it gives Neville his next feud and Dallas his first feud in the better part of ever. Taking away Neville’s ability to fly is an interesting idea as well as it’s going to make him have to show what he can do otherwise. Good storyline development in a not great match.

Post match Dallas comes in and goes after the knee again by wrapping it around the post.

Titus O’Neil has been named Celebrity Father of the Year.

Here’s Rusev for his explanation of last night but with no Lana in sight. Rusev says there is no Lana here and that he didn’t say he quit when he was ranting in Bulgarian last night. Therefore, he wants to restart the match against Cena right now. Instead he gets a leggy blonde who he told to not come out here again. Rusev isn’t just the Bulgarian brute because he’s misunderstood.

She believes in him and has believed in him every step of the way. The accent is starting to break as she speaks. Rusev calls her pathetic but she tells him enough because she just wants what’s best for the two of them. Lana couldn’t watch him in all this pain but Rusev says he doesn’t need her so get out. Lana walks away as Rusev screams at her even more.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray puts him down to start but misses a backsplash, allowing Dean to tie up the legs and rip at Bray’s face. Back up and Bray hits a big clothesline followed by a kick to the back and a kick to the chest. We hit the chinlock for a few seconds before Bray knocks him into the ropes. Instead of pulling him back in, Bray slides outside and pulls him from the ropes and into a suplex. Think Orton’s DDT but a suplex to the floor instead.

Back from a break with Bray kicking Ambrose down before they both head outside for a double clothesline. The fans want tables because a good wrestling match isn’t enough for them. Dean fights back with his punches and chops before tying Bray in the ropes for the running dropkick. Bray is hung over the ropes for a middle rope Fameasser for two. A low bridge sends Wyatt to the floor but he partially blocks the suicide dive.

Back in and both finishers are countered before Bray nails Dean to block the rebound lariat. Now the rebound lariat connects and Dean loads up a superplex. Bray shoves him off but the middle rope backsplash only hits mat. Dean goes up but here are the Stooges to interfere with Noble shoving Dean into Sister Abigail for the pin at 13:30.

Rating: B-. Fun brawl here which is exactly what it needed to be. Bray is starting to get his feet back under him after the waste of a loss against Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Ambrose is likely getting the title shot at Elimination Chamber, which may be repetitive but at least it’s not the Kane vs. Rollins showdown that 18 people might want to see.

Tough Enough videos. We have over a month of these things to go?

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

Woods is banned from ringside so it’s Kofi/Big E. here. Before the match, New Day thinks it’s unfair that they have to defend their titles against FIVE other teams inside the Elimination Chamber. Even the simple illiterate people here can understand why this is unfair. Cesaro and E. start with Cesaro being dropped out of a gorilla press, Ultimate Warrior style. That’s fine with Cesaro as he hits a delayed vertical suplex to put New Day on the floor, setting up Kidd for a hurricanrana off the apron as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro uppercutting Big E. but getting taken down in a belly to belly. Kidd comes in off the hot tag to clean house as Cole announces R-Truth, Rusev and King Barrett for the Intercontinental Title Chamber match. Kidd puts Kofi in the Sharpshooter but E. makes the save. Cesaro comes in to slug it out with E. and the match is thrown out at 5:54. Not enough of the match was shown but it was just a way to extend the feud.

Woods comes out to keep up the brawl post match but here are the Lucha Dragons, Los Matadores, Ascension and the Prime Time Players to give us our six teams. The Dragons dive on everyone not named Woods (or Sin Cara/Kalisto) and the Players beat up Woods. Cole confirms that these are the six teams for the Chamber in case it’s not clear.

It’s Open Challenge time. Cena says last night’s win can be summed up in three letters: USA. He has the honor to carry the red, white and blue into battle every night. Men like the soldiers in the crowd are the reason that make this title mean more than anything else in this company. Everyone has a shot at this title and this is our championship. It’s time to give someone a shot,

US Title: John Cena vs. Kevin Owens

Oh my. Oh my indeed. Owens is the defending NXT Champion and brings the belt with him. He congratulates Cena on his win last night before saying there’s no need for an introduction. If you don’t know who he is, then Owens just doesn’t have time for you. Owens is here to give Cena some peace of mind.

Cena may think that he injured Sami Zayn, but Owens was the one that injured him a long time ago. This Wednesday at Takeover: Unstoppable, Owens is going to finish what he started with Sami months ago. Cena isn’t cool with Owens saying the people don’t matter because there’s no WWE without them. He has some veteran advice for Owens, but Kevin says he’s been doing this longer than Cena. The difference is that he just didn’t get a break until now, so Cena doesn’t get to give him advice.

Cena warns him instead. Sami Zayn blew out his shoulder and said give me everything you got. Owens doesn’t have that fire in his eyes and he’s in way over his head right now. Cena is ready to go but Owens says he already has a prize in the NXT Title. Therefore, no match tonight but they’ll fight one day on Owens’ terms. Kevin kicks Cena in the ribs and nails the Pop Up Powerbomb before picking up both titles, only to throw the US Title down and stomp on it. Good grief how amazing do the next five or so years sound in WWE?

We look back at Bryan vacating the title last week.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust

Uh…sure. Ziggler gets taken down to start so Stardust can stomp on the ribs before hitting a hard clothesline to go after the bad eye (busted open last night). Back up and a Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 1:28.

Post match Ziggler says his eye hurts but the loss hurts more. It’s hockey time though and chicks dig scars so here you go. Cole tells him that he’s the last entrant in the Elimination Chamber. So other than Rusev and Ryback, everyone else is a standard Intercontinental Title level guy. Great way to elevate the title.

Ziggler says he’ll go through anyone to get the title and here’s a very smiling Lana to kiss Dolph. He doesn’t seem to mind so she does it again for a big smile. Cue a livid Rusev to beat Ziggler down and stare at Lana. She slaps Rusev in the face and draws a huge LANA chant, followed by the Zig Zag from Dolph. Well so much for Lana meaning anything.

Kane glares at Adam Rose and Rosa for kissing in the back.

Luke Harper/Erick Rowan vs. Fandango/Zack Ryder

Harper headlocks Fandango to start but walks into a dropkick. They head outside with Harper kicking him in the face before handing it off to Rowan for a splash. The fans want Ryder but get a tornado DDT from Fandango to Harper, setting up the hot tag to Ryder. Zack starts to clean house but walks into a spinning Boss Man Slam, setting up the hot tag to Rowan. Luke superkicks Ryder right into a full nelson slam for the pin at 3:25.

Rating: D+. Just a way to establish that Harper and Rowan are back together to destroy people. I’m not sure why they’re not in the Chamber over, say, Los Matadores, but at least there’s a team around to destroy everyone. Nice squash here and at least they kept it short instead of keeping up the false hope.

Stephanie cuts the Bellas off in the back and does her condescending talk to Brie about her emotions over Bryan. She’s scheduled some counseling sessions for Brie over her issues, and therefore Brie isn’t allowed at ringside with Nikki.

Divas Title: Naomi vs. Nikki Bella

Naomi is challenging after pinning Nikki last night. After some big match intros, Nikki pulls her in from the apron and nails a big clothesline to send Naomi out to the floor. A suicide dive takes out Naomi and Tamina as we take a break. Back with Naomi putting on a chinlock as trainers are checking on an injured Tamina. Nikki comes back with a forearm and dropkicks, followed by a backdrop. There’s the Rack Attack but Tamina comes in with a superkick for the DQ at 6:29. Again not enough seen to rate but this wasn’t much to see.

Post match Paige comes in for the save but lays out Nikki with the Rampaige because she wants the title.

We look back at Owens laying Cena out earlier.

HHH shakes Owens’ hand. Renee comes up and asks what that was all about. Owens says the Authority liked what he did so much that they’re giving him a match against Cena at Elimination Chamber.

The cast of the Entourage movie will be here next week.

It’s time for The Architect of a Dream celebration with the Authority and Kane hosting. Stephanie introduces Rollins, flanked by the Stooges. HHH praises the champ and says everyone is going to get to praise him individually. It’s Kane up first for his usual mention of Rollins being short but he’s proud of Rollins for still being champion because Seth is best for business. Rollins: “That’s all you have to say?” Kane begrudgingly thanks Rollins for saving his job and has a video ready for Seth.

After a nice video on Seth’s days with the Authority, Noble says there’s a saying in West Virginia: cream rises to the top. It’s been an honor to protect Rollins and the most important title in WWE. Mercury is about to speak when Dean Ambrose comes out to interrupt.

Stephanie goes into her evil voice but Dean says he was busy looking for the perfect Justin Bieber outfit for Rollins. He’s here to give Seth one more chance for a match with him, as long as the title is on the line. Seth says Dean needs to go to the back of the line with Roman Reigns and Randy Orton, but Ambrose calls himself a notorious line jumper. Stephanie tells Rollins to get him so there goes the jacket and the brawl is on.

The Stooges immediately intervene but Dean cleans house. They fight to the floor with Seth being backdropped onto the announcers’ table and Dean unveiling a batch of cinder blocks. He loads up a Conchairto on the blocks but Stephanie says let Seth go and he’ll get a title match.

Dean doesn’t answer but the Stooges take the chair away from him. Ambrose easily fights them off and dives onto the Stooges and Kane before heading inside to go after Rollins. HHH saves the champ and Kane gets in a kick to Dean’s face. The chokeslam is countered but Rollins saves Kane from Dirty Deeds. A Pedigree leaves Dean laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I had a good time with this show as they’re hitting the ground running to get to Elimination Chamber. Owens stole the show though as he had one of the best main roster debuts I can remember in a good while. I’m not wild on having the next pay per view so soon, but at least they’re getting us through the rushed build as fast as they can. Good show this week as they’re moving things forward for a change.

Results

Sheamus b. Ryback – Brogue Kick

King Barrett b. Neville – Bullhammer

Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose – Sister Abigail

New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd went to a double DQ when all four fought in the ring

Dolph Ziggler b. Stardust – Zig Zag

Luke Harper/Erick Rowan b. Fandango/Zack Ryder – Full nelson slam to Ryder

Nikki Bella b. Naomi via DQ when Tamina interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Reviewing the Review: Monday Night Raw – May 11, 2015

It’s the final show before Payback and there have been some notable changes in the last few weeks. To begin with, the show has felt a lot tighter lately as there has been a lot less talking and a lot more fighting, which makes for a better run show. We need to wrap things up before the four way and the fact that we’re in Ambrose’ hometown should help. Let’s get to it.

We open with HHH saying that daddy is home to straighten things out. This has been my biggest issue with Rollins and HHH: why in the world is Rollins acting like he’s HHH’s four year old son and trying to please him all the time? He’s the WWE World Champion and he’s still cowering in fear of HHH. Just let him be a man for once. You can still have him be a heel and everything will be fine, but let him have a backbone around the Authority for a change. You can do that without having him rebel.

Anyway, HHH is here to put an end to Kane vs. Rollins. For some reason, HHH implies that he and Kane have been friends for years and this isn’t the Kane he knew. As I said last week, when were they EVER friends? Just because something happened in the past doesn’t mean they’re friends now. Look back at Wrestlemania XXX where Piper and Hogan were about to fight all over again. The big reveal of this: if Rollins doesn’t keep the title on Sunday, Kane is out of a job. In other words, it’s all about Kane. Again.

Kane put all of the participants in the title match on Sunday in action tonight, starting with Ambrose squashing the Stooges.

Sheamus was on commentary as Barrett beat Ziggler in a short match, followed by a Brogue Kick. I like this loose association between Sheamus and Barrett as they would make a decent on/off tag team.

Erick Rowan squashed Fandango because…..well why do you think he did?

Cena’s speech before the Open Challenge was about how important the US Title is because anyone can have a chance at taking it from him. That’s a great line and very true. The match against Neville was as awesome as you would expect with Neville hitting the Red Arrow until Rusev interfered because that feud MUST continue.

These Open Challenges have been one of the best things to happen to Cena in years. You might have noticed that the fans have been saying LET’S GO CENA more and more recently and there’s a reason for that: he’s been treating us to some great wrestling every single week. At the end of the day, that’s what it boils down to: the fans want to see good wrestling and Cena lets things open up a bit instead of doing the same stuff over and over again. Let Cena, one of the best of all time, wrestle someone new every week and this is what you get.

Rusev knocked Cena out with the Accolade post match to appeal to the false hope demographic.

Kane and Reigns brawled instead of having a match, setting up a rematch on Friday.

Tamina beat Brie Bella to set up the tag match Sunday. Nikki is so far and away better than Brie in the ring that it’s unreal.

Curtis Axel and Macho Mandow beat up the Ascension instead of having their match. The pain this brings me knows no bounds and I hope the real team breaks them into more pieces than Brutus Beefcake’s face.

Daniel Bryan has to vacate the Intercontinental Title due to his injuries. I know it’s sad but this really shouldn’t surprise anyone at this point. Bryan needs to go away until he’s ready, then find another 15 doctors to say he’s really ready.

Cesaro beat Big E. in a decent power match. Just a setup for Sunday.

Elimination Chamber is coming back two weeks after Payback. That’s four weeks before Monday In The Bank. To translate, here’s how the WWE is thinking these days:

LET’S GIVE THEM A LOT OF COOL FREE STUFF!!! THEN THEY’LL PAY FOR THE UNCOOL STUFF!”

Also they won’t promote the old wrestling stuff for whatever reason. Instead it’s Jerry Springer’s horrible show, their animated stuff (including that one episode of Hulk Hogan’s Rock and Wrestling they put up) and the podcasts. Mention the old wrestling and it would get pushed too.

Bray Wyatt said what Bray Wyatt says and Ryback leveled him. I still have no idea why they’re fighting but Wyatt needs a point again soon.

Orton and Rollins had the same match they’ve had over and over again until the Stooges came in for the DQ. This was one of those matches where you were just waiting for the DQ and they didn’t hide the fact whatsoever. Everyone came in for the show ending brawl with Ambrose standing tall.

This wasn’t a great stand alone show but it was a really fun go home show. Most of the matches for Sunday got time and the fans were hot all night. Throw in a good Cena open challenge and there’s not much more you could ask for. Fun stuff here and everyone looks good going into Sunday.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Payback 2015: They Did It Again!

Payback 2015
Date: May 17, 2015
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We continue the rapid fire pay per views with one of the lower level yet often surprising shows of the year. The main event tonight is Seth Rollins defending the World Title in a four way against Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns and Randy Orton with Director of Operations Kane’s job on the line. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Stardust vs. R-Truth

Bonus match because we’re just that lucky. Truth slaps him in the face to start as the fans chant for Cody and the announcers talk about the main event. Back up and Truth knocks him out to the apron as Cole isn’t sure if Truth says he’ll “make you disappear like your favorite” magician or mortician. Truth gets two off a jackknife cover but Stardust hits him in the face. Stardust eats the release gordbuster but nails a knee to the head for two. Off to a cravate on Truth followed by Matt Hardy’s Side Effect for two. We get a slap to the face with a glove to set off a duel before Little Jimmy ends Stardust at 6:49.

Rating: D. What a boring match. There was no reason for this to take place other than “Hey, let’s have another match!” Neither guy has anything going for them at the moment and thankfully this didn’t have any plastic spiders involved. Nothing to see here but to be fair it was a bonus so it’s not like anything is taken away.

There will be a new Steve Austin Podcast with Paul Heyman on June 1.

Pre-Show: Mega Powers vs. Ascension

That would be Curtis Axel as Hulk Hogan and Damien Sandow as Macho Mandow in case it’s Thursday and this gimmick is already dead. They were listed as the Meta Powers until tonight’s show. JBL thinks they look like Nacho Man and the Huckster for you mid-90s fans out there. Konnor kicks Axel in the ribs to start but it’s already time for Hulking Up. Curtis gets two off a legdrop and it’s off to Viktor for a chinlock. That goes nowhere so the hot tag brings in Mandow as the Powers clean house. The big elbow doesn’t work though and it’s the Fall of Man for the pin at 2:55. Thank goodness.

The opening video talks about Rollins trying to keep the title and Cena vs. Rusev in their final battle.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler looks utterly ridiculous in his cutoff jean vest and pink bandana. He goes right after Sheamus to start and knocks him to the floor where Sheamus comes up holding his knee. Back in and a cross body gets two but Sheamus takes his head off with a running ax handle. A suplex puts Ziggler down again and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Ziggler sidesteps a charge to send Sheamus into the post. Some forearms and a cross body put Sheamus in the corner and the jumping DDT gets two.

Ziggler sends him back to the corner and there’s something resembling a Stink Face to make up for Sheamus bailing on the stipulations last month. A livid Sheamus misses the Brogue and eats the Fameasser for two. Now Sheamus gets all fired up and slugs Ziggler down for some two counts and White Noise sets up the Cloverleaf. Ziggler makes it to the ropes and Sheamus is livid again, demanding that Ziggler give up. Instead Dolph headbutts Sheamus (busting himself WAY open) and superkicks him down for two. Ziggler is dizzy from the blood loss though and the Brogue Kick ends this at 12:27.

Rating: B-. I had a good time with this and that blood came out of nowhere. Sheamus needed this win more than Ziggler did as Dolph can bounce back no matter what. Maybe that kick can knock Ziggler out of the 80s and into the late 90s for a change because he looks ridiculous in that attire.

Kane and Rollins bicker some more with Kane implying he wants Rollins to lose the title and doesn’t mind getting fired. Rollins threatens Stooge violence and gets laughed off. There was zero reason for this to be on pay per view.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

2/3 falls with New Day defending after taking the belts from Cesaro/Kidd at Extreme Rules. New Day comes out and suggests positive thinking for everyone here, including the Baltimore Orioles in the audience because they haven’t won a World Series in over 30 years. Kidd slams Kofi (teaming with Big E. here) down to start and it’s quickly off to the power guys.

A powerslam gets two on E. but he comes back with a gorilla press to put Cesaro down. Back to Kofi who gets caught in a delayed vertical suplex with Kidd coming off the top to drive him down. Kidd catapults Kofi into a spinebuster and the Swing into a dropkick mostly misses but gets the pin and the first fall at 2:50.

Woods wants in via the Freebird Rule but eats a cannonball off the apron for his efforts. Kofi and Big E. officially start the second fall but Big E. misses a spear through the apron for a big crash. Kidd gets greedy though and dives over the top into a release overhead belly to belly to give the champions control. We hit the bearhug on Tyson as Woods shouts that he’s the mastermind of the team.

Kidd escapes and makes the hot tag, but Big E. spears Cesaro through the ropes and into the barricade for a big crash. Fans: “THIS IS AWESOME!” Woods: “WE KNOW THAT!” Kofi goes up top but dives into a dropkick. Kidd kicks as fast as he can but gets caught in a mostly missed (notice the trend) Midnight Hour (Kofi’s DDT was more like an elbow to the back) to tie it up at 8:14 total.

We start the third fall with Cesaro finally getting back on the apron to take another hot tag. He starts cleaning house but can’t get Big E. up for the tiger bomb and just drops him in a bad looking spot. Instead he hits a running European uppercut followed by a kind of Demolition Decapitation with Kidd springboarding into the elbow drop. Big E. is whipped over the announcers’ table. A huge uppercut drops Kofi again but E. dives in for the save. In the melee, Woods sneaks in and small packages Kidd for the pin to retain at 13:20.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but the botches hurt it for me a bit. Still though, this was the awesome stuff you would expect from both teams. They even left the door open to continue it, as one day Kidd and Cesaro will get a clean shot against these two, which is exactly what they’re shooting for here. Also this could have been five minutes longer for three falls.

Elimination Chamber ad.

Ryback promises to prove himself to Bray Wyatt tonight.

We recap Wyatt vs. Ryback. This still doesn’t explain why they’re fighting.

Ryback vs. Bray Wyatt

Ryback stomps him down to start and easily clotheslines Bray out to the floor. He grabs him by the beard to bring him back in but Bray hits his running cross body to take over. We hit a bad looking chinlock (Bray’s arm is nowhere near Ryback’s throat) before he sidesteps a charging Ryback to send him into the post.

Bray sends him into the apron and hits a nice backsplash off the apron to crush Ryback’s ribs. The countout is barely beaten so Bray hits a running charge in the corner, only to get powerbombed off the middle rope. They both head to the floor with Ryback circling around, only to walk into a hard clothesline.

Back in again and Ryback kicks the arm away to block another clothesline. A spinebuster has Bray in trouble but he pops up and sets Ryback on the ropes for a superplex. Ryback headbutts him down and hits a top rope splash of all things, causing his injured ribs (from the backsplash) to flare up. Both finishers are countered and Bray pulls the turnbuckle pad off. The referee looks at the pad, allowing Bray to drive the bad ribs into the exposed buckle, setting up Sister Abigail for the pin at 10:29.

Rating: B-. They’re rolling with these matches so far tonight. This was the power brawl they needed to go with and the ribs helped them out a lot. Bray getting the pin is a nice touch for him and Ryback has a complaint for a rematch (notice the trend tonight). Good stuff here and I had a better time with it than I was expecting.

Money in the Bank ad, with a Home Shopping Network theme. The show is June 14, which is two weeks after Elimination Chamber, which is two weeks after Payback.

We recap Rusev vs. Cena. Rusev won at Fast Lane but Cena won the title at Wrestlemania XXXI and the rematch at Extreme Rules. Tonight is the final battle in an I Quit match.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rusev

Cena is defending in an I Quit match. Rusev gives Cena a chance to quit before the match to please half the fans but Cena wants to get on with it, earning him a kick to the ribs. The fans want Lana so Rusev makes her sit in a chair near Lawler. Back in and Rusev stomps away as the fans carry on the dueling chants. Rusev dropkicks him into the corner for a no and a spinwheel kick puts Cena down again.

The fans chant for Lana so Rusev goes outside to yell at her. Cena has had no offense so far. It’s time to wave the Russian flag before a fall away slam sends Cena out to the floor. Cena goes into the steps but won’t quit so Rusev puts the steps in the corner for two more hard whips. The steps go down and Cena finally hits a backdrop for his first offensive move. Then, like a schmuck, he tries a cross body and gets caught in a swinging Rock Bottom onto the steps.

The big stomp hits the steps though and Cena nails a quick AA onto them as well but Rusev can’t speak. Cena sends him into the post for a no and then threatens to put him through the barricade if he doesn’t quit. Rusev says no so Cena does what he promised. That’s another no so they fight up to the technical area with Rusev gently laying Cena on a table with an Alabama Slam.

Cena pops up and puts the table against the wall before hitting Rusev with a monitor. Still no from the Russian so Cena hits him with a laptop for the same result. The AA is countered into a better Alabama Slam through the table but Cena still says no. Rusev finds the pyro controls but Cena AA’s him onto the fireworks, causing them to go off. Somehow that’s still a no so Cena finds a piece of a barricade and nails Rusev in the face.

The barricade is put up against the apron but Rusev suplexes Cena halfway through it for another no. The stunned look on Rusev’s face is perfect. Back inside the ring and we hit the Accolade but Cena is out cold, meaning he can’t say he quits. With nothing left to do, Rusev unhooks the top rope and pours water over Cena to wake him up. Rusev pulls back the hook but Cena takes him down into the STF with the rope over Rusev’s face. He rants in Russian and Lana quits for him at 28:49.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this was awesome. They had built up Rusev as never quitting but you knew Lana was going to be involved somewhere in there. Really fun stuff here though as they just let the guys beat the tar out of each other. This should have been the match they did last month and cut out the chain match as this was WAY more extreme than anything last month.

The kickoff panel chats while the ring is repaired.

The New Day toasts their win (with milk!) and ask who are the five greatest teams of all time. “New Day! New Day! New Day! New Day! New Day!” They’re role models who don’t curse, spit or complain. Kofi: “Toast, toast. Oh pinkies!” Byron tells them that they’re defending the Tag Team Titles inside the Elimination Chamber and Big E. spits out his milk while Woods curses.

Bella Twins vs. Tamina/Naomi

Nikki takes Naomi down to start and it’s off to Brie for the BRIE MODE running knee. Tamina superkicks Brie onto the apron to take over before standing on the hair. Back to Naomi for a front facelock but Brie crawls away (falling on her head in the process) for the hot tag. Everything breaks down and Nikki cleans house but takes the Rear View for a near fall. Tamina drives Brie into the barricade to distract Nikki on the top, allowing Naomi to slam her off the top for the pin at 6:13.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and it was one of the most obvious endings you could have imagined. Allegedly this gets Naomi into the title hunt, despite the fact that there are eight active Divas on the roster (not counting Rosa, who is nowhere near the title and shouldn’t be), including the Bellas. Nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw here but Nikki looked good, as always.

Ad for the WWE prank show. They can advertise this, but not “YOU CAN WATCH EVERY PAY PER VIEW EVER!” Such are the priorities in WWE.

Rusev throws Lana out.

We look back at Daniel Bryan vacating the Intercontinental Title on Raw.

King Barrett vs. Neville

Neville starts fast with the front flip out of the corner into a cross body off the middle rope to send Barrett to the floor. He loads up the headstand into the headscissors but Barrett throws the feet into the air for the kick to the ribs. I love it when they adapt like that instead of just doing the same spots in the same places. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit before Barrett hits the knees and big boot in the ropes.

Neville comes back with his own kicks and a standing shooting star press for two. The Bull Hammer misses but Winds of Change gets two. Neville heads to the apron for a springboard but has to turn it into an armdrag and cradle to counter another Bull Hammer. Barrett rolls away to avoid to avoid the Red Arrow so Neville dives on him, only to come up holding his knee. He gets back inside but Barrett intentionally takes the countout at 7:26. Neville is able to stand on his own so the knee doesn’t seem that bad.

Rating: C+. I had a good time with this as these two have chemistry together. Neville’s strong push continues as he even gets to win a pay per view match this time. They’re developing a nice midcard these days and it’s actually working really well. The countout was another good idea as they’ve really tightened up the booking tonight for the losers.

Post match Barrett comes back in and decks Neville before putting on the robe and crown. He misses a scepter shot though and eats a German suplex, followed by the Red Arrow.

Tough Enough videos.

Kane wishes Rollins good luck.

We recap the World Title match.  Kane set up a fan vote which made the match a triple threat, but when Rollins complained, Kane made it a four way with Ambrose involved as well.  If Rollins loses, Kane is out of a job.

WWE World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Rollins is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Kane comes down to watch from the beginning. Everyone zeroes in on Rollins to start but the Stooges are here to save the day. Ambrose dives onto Orton and Rollins but Reigns dives onto all of them plus the Stooges. Reigns and Rollins are the only ones in the ring for a bit and the champ hits a quick Downward Spiral into the middle buckle.

Ambrose and Orton take their places and the slug it out with Dean getting two off a powerslam. Reigns comes back in and counters an RKO before Randy and Dean fall to the floor. The champ stomps Reigns down in the corner but Dean comes back in to help his buddy. Kane finally gets involved (a full five minutes into the match) by decking Ambrose and throwing him back in to Rollins.

The springboard knee to the head gets two on Dean but Ambrose fights back with an attempt at Dirty Deeds, drawing in Kane for a chokeslam to break it up. Orton pulls Kane to the floor and slugs away at him before going back inside to t-bone suplex Rollins for two. They head outside with Randy loading up the table…..and eating a TripleBomb for a quick Shield reunion. Note the MONSTER pop for that.

Rollins puts his arms around Reigns and Dean before putting out his fist. We’ll skip ahead a few seconds to Ambrose loading up Rollins for another powerbomb with Kane having to make a save. Rollins is laid on the table for a DoubleBomb to Kane but the table doesn’t break. Fans: “ONE MORE TIME!” They get their wish here and now Kane is driven through Rollins through the table. Reigns: “Not much else to do.” Ambrose: “No there’s not.” Reigns: “Loser buys the beers?”

They slug it out in the ring with Reigns missing the clothesline and eating a cross body for two. Reigns gets a rollup of his own but lifts Dean up into a sitout powerbomb for two of his own. The Superman Punch connects for a very close two but the spear hits knee. Reigns spins out of Dirty Deeds though and nails the spear, only to have Rollins dive in for the save.

There’s a Superman Punch to Rollins but Dean clotheslines Roman down. Dirty Deeds lays out Seth but Kane pulls him to the floor. Kane chokeslams Reigns onto the stairs but Orton is back up to lay Kane out. Mercury breaks up the elevated DDT so both Stooges get RKOs. Now the DDT works but Kane has to eat an RKO, allowing Rollins to hit a Pedigree of all things to retain the title at 20:52.

Rating: A-. Loved the match but can we please have Rollins stop acting like HHH is his great and mighty father who must be pleased at all times? It’s beyond old already. Anyway, they made the exactly right call by having this be pure chaos and the Shield tease was awesome. Those three are going to headline a show someday and it’s going to be a huge deal. Really funny stuff here and a great way to cap off the show. Hopefully this doesn’t set up Rollins vs. Kane though.

HHH comes out to celebrate with Rollins to close the show.

Overall Rating: A. Why is Payback always so awesome? I’d really like an answer to this. It’s clearly meant to be a B show and has a stupid name but this is the third year in a row that it’s been one of the best shows all year. Only the Bellas match was kind of lame but other than that, this show was really fun match after really fun match. I had a blast with this and somehow that’s becoming less and less of a surprise every year, which is a very good thing.

Results

Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick

New Day b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro – Small package to Kidd

Bray Wyatt b. Ryback – Sister Abigail

John Cena b. Rusev – Lana quit for Rusev while Rusev was in the STF

Naomi/Tamina b. Bella Twins – Slam off the top

Neville b. King Barrett via countout

Seth Rollins b. Roman Reigns, Randy Orton and Dean Ambrose – Pedigree to Orton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




New E-Book: KB’s History Of Monday Nitro Volume III (Including Thunder!)

nitro3

When we last left WCW, they were the undisputed kings of the Monday Night Wars and that’s certainly still the case as they come into 1998. Things were so good that they decided to more than double the amount of television they were airing per week. To say this might have been too much too soon is an understatement but WCW had done stupider stuff before.

In this book, I’ll be looking at every episode of Monday Nitro and Thunder from January through June of 1998. This is the time where the Monday Night Wars finally started to get competitive again after nearly two years of being completely one sided. Having two shows a week was a fresh idea as well, making this a very important time in wrestling history. As usual I’ll be providing play by play, historical context and analysis of every show.

Also remember that I’ve already covered 1995-1997 Monday Nitro in case you don’t want to jump right into the later stuff. Both books are available from my Amazon author page.

The books runs over 300 pages on a Kindle and only costs $3.99, or the equivalent in other currencies. If you don’t have a Kindle or e-book reader, there are several FREE apps you can use to read it on pretty much any electronic device. You can find those from Amazon here.

You can pick up the book from Amazon here.

From the UK Amazon here.

From the Canadian Amazon here.

Or if you’re in another country with its own Amazon page, just search “KB Nitro 1998” and my book will be the first thing that pop up.

Also you can still get any of my previous books on the WWE Championship, Monday Night Raw from 1998 and 2001, Monday Nitro from 1995-97, In Your House, Summerslam, Starrcade, ECW Pay Per Views, Royal Rumble, Saturday Night’s Main Event, the WWF and WCW pay per views from 1998 and Clash of the Champions at my author’s page here.

I hope you like it and shoot me any questions you might have.

KB




TNA One Night Only – X-Travaganza III: What Do You Want Me To Say?

X-Travaganza III
Date: May 6, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

I guess this is considered the beginning of a new season of these shows as the first X-Travaganza was the first ever One Night Only. Barring a big surprise, this is going to be a series of qualifying matches for an Ultimate X match for money later on in the night. These shows really are good illustrations of how far the division has fallen in recent years. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard speech about how important this division is to TNA’s history. Notice that as the division has fallen into obscurity, the company’s success has gone down as well. Of course there’s a lot more to it than that, but once TNA stopped having something to focus on other than the main event division, things kept going south. As usual, this also shows us clips from later in the night.

All matches are qualifying matches for the Ultimate X main event with $100,000 on the line unless noted otherwise.

Tigre Uno vs. Sonjay Dutt

Feeling out process to start with Sonjay taking him down with a quick armdrag before having to spin out of a wristlock. Some fast near falls get us nowhere but both guys collide to put them on the mat. Back up and Sonjay takes over with some chops and a running knee in the corner before stopping Tigre with a boot. Tigre comes back in with a dropkick for two as the announcers start talking about Twitter handles. I really hope this isn’t a descent into the usual commentary madness on these shows.

Sonjay comes back with something like an Octopus Hold and a kick to the head for two. This turns into a discussion of favorite submission holds, which is at least related to what we’re watching. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Tigre fights back, only to miss a split legged moonsault. Dutt’s standing moonsault gets two as the fans are really not all that interested here. Borash finally gets around to explaining the idea of the qualifying matches for Ultimate X later in the show. Tigre crotches himself on an attempted basement dropkick in the corner but comes right back with a rolling cradle for the fast pin (and maybe a four count).

Rating: C-. We’re already seeing the issue with this show: there’s no reason for these two to be fighting and that makes for a dull match as neither of these two did anything exciting enough to warrant having nine minutes. It’s not a bad match or anything but it’s just two guys doing moves to each other until one got a pin off a cradle.

Kenny King talks about surprising everyone by showing up in TNA and brags about all of his success. No matter what he did though, he never could get noticed until he joined up with the BDC. Tonight, we’re calling this X-Travaganza Step Up, because he wants someone to step up to become the next Kenny King. Be careful though because he’s going to knock them right back down.

Kenny King vs. Jay Rios vs. Pepper Parks

Parks wrestles all over the indies and seems to have a fitness gimmick. Rios is a lower level indy guy but he was recently on Impact as Tigre Uno’s partner in the Tag Team Title tournament against Bram/Ethan Carter III. Josh asks the returning JB how he can get around the arena to announce everything so fast. Parks kicks Rios in the head to start and stomps him down as King stands back.

The fans chant for the BDC (the only people they might know in this match) as King backdrops Parks to the floor. Rios kicks both of them through the ropes and hits an Asai moonsault to drop both opponents. Back in and Parks gets two off a sitout powerbomb as King is still on the floor. Rios sidesteps Parks’ spear to send him into King before hitting the springboard into an RKO on Parks for two.

Pepper doesn’t seem to mind as a double superkick puts King down, only to have Rios hit running boots in the corner to both opponents. King suddenly realizes he’s Kenny King and starts cleaning house but Rios shoves him off the top and hits a frog splash for two on Parks. Back up and Rios goes to the apron, only to springboard into the Royal Flush to give King the pin.

Rating: C. Better but it’s the exact same problem from the first match: I have no real reason to see these guys fight and they’re not doing anything worth seeing. In other words, these matches aren’t very interesting and make me want to go watch some old TNA matches instead of these.

Here’s a clip from Destination X 2013 where Manik won the X-Division Title in Ultimate X.

Manik vs. Mr. 450

450 is yet another indy guy who has been squashed in NXT a few times under the name Jesus de Leon. For some reason he comes out (after Manik) with a weird eyepiece that looks like something out of Star Trek (for your KB trivia: I’ve never seen a single movie or episode of Star Trek) and may supposed to be something from the future.

Wherever he’s from (yes I know it’s Puerto Rico), he grabs an armbar to start as the announcers talk about Google Glasses. They spin around a few times until 450 gets two off a springboard cross body. Manik sends him hard into the post though and things slow back down. Off to the floor now with Manik sending him into the post again as Josh laments the loss of Bernie Mac. He was in a movie called Mr. 3000 (Josh calls it Mr. 300) so it’s connected you see.

Manik grabs a cross armbreaker (at least he’s following up on the shoulder into the post, putting this match ahead of everything else on the show so far) before rolling some suplexes, capped off by a belly to back hammerlock suplex. We hit the chinlock with the arm trapped back for a bit to keep up the psychology.

450 comes back with another springboard cross body but Manik catches himself in the ropes instead of going out to the floor. He goes right outside a few seconds later though, setting up 450’s Asai moonsault. Josh clarifies that Pepper and Joseph Parks are not related before Manik hurricanranas 450 into the armbreaker for the submission.

Rating: C+. Best match of the night so far with the arm work actually playing through the match instead of just introducing it and then forgetting it just as fast. Again it’s not a great match or anything like that, but at least it was a good way to kill seven minutes. Manik is an underrated talent in the company and unfortunately he’s stuck in the lame Revolution for the time being.

Video on the Knockouts defying the limits just as well as the men do.

Taryn Terrell is in the five Knockouts ladder match later tonight and she can prove that she’s more than just a pretty face.

Great Sanada vs. Jonathan Cruz vs. Crazzy Steve

Cruz is Rios’ partner in the indies. Steve pulls out a horn as Matthews thinks Cruz is Mr. 450. Ignore the fact that neither wears a mask so this shouldn’t be too complicated. Steve goes out to the apron and waits for a tag because we’re in a comedy match. Sanada cranks on Cruz’s arm to start and they hit a nice spin out sequence for one of the few good reactions from the crowd all night long. Steve comes in with a crucifix and sunset flip for two each on Sanada before Sanada pulls on Cruz’s face.

Now the announcers talk about the places Sanada has wrestled, including the hibachi place and Nakatomi Towers. Off to an abdominal stretch on Cruz until Steve makes the save. The serious guys finally get tired of the comedy and pound Steve down like anyone sensible would do. Steve comes back with cannonballs in the corner, only to have Sanada mist Cruz in the face. A moonsault gets two with Steve making the save, setting up a DDT on Cruz to send Steve to Ultimate X.

Rating: D. The announcers have gone from amusing to Tazz land as they spent the whole match making as many Japan jokes as they could squeeze into a short match. Steve is a generic “comedy” guy who gets annoying in a hurry with neither opponent being able to do much. Sanada really should have gone forward here as he’s more than earned the spot in the last year, especially on these shows.

Rockstar Spud says he’s a great wrestler, even when he was just getting coffee for Dixie Carter. Tonight he can show why he’s a great X-Division wrestler when he wins his first Ultimate X match.

And now, since they can’t even get to 2:45 on their own, here’s the X-Division Title match from Slammiversary 2014.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Tigre Uno vs. Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Crazy Steve vs. Manik

Sanada is defending and this is a ladder match. Also keep in mind that Destination X and Option C are coming up soon. Manik dives through the ropes to take out Sanada before the bell. The Wolves follow suit with stereo suicide dives and Steve has apparently knocked Tigre Uno down. Steve gets a ladder from under the ring and uses it to climb back to the apron. Tigre dropkicks him down and mostly misses a corkscrew dive to take everyone out.

Sanada and Manik fight over a ladder in the ring with the champion taking over via a springboard chop to the head. Tigre replaces Manik and kicks Sanada in the back of the head but the Wolves double team him into a German suplex onto the ladder in the corner. Edwards throws in a fresh ladder but Manik dropkicks both of them down. Steve (very popular tonight) comes in for the Terry Funk spinning ladder spot, taking down everyone that comes into the ring.

Manik makes a save but Steve shoves the ladder over, only to have Manik land on the top rope and dive out to knock out the Wolves. Steve goes up again and touches the belt but of course loses his hand eye coordination since this is a ladder match, allowing Sanada to make the save. The ladder is busted so Sanada slams Steve onto it to set up the moonsault. The fans think this is awesome as Tigre enziguris Sanada off a better ladder.

Tigre wedges the broken ladder into the standing one to form a bridge, but the Wolves catch him in a powerbomb/top rope Backstabber combo. The Wolves both go after the belt but Sanada makes the save. Edwards Sanada clothesline each other to the floor and Eddie crashes into the barricade, leaving Davey on top. Manik makes the save and powerbombs Davey onto the bridged ladder in a SCARY landing. Sanada climbs up to retain at 9:40 before someone dies.

Rating: B-. The match was fun but some of those spots looked too dangerous for my taste. Richards getting powerbombed was way too scary looking and I didn’t like how he landed. Hopefully everyone is fine, but I question having people go through a match like this without even giving the match hype on TV.

Rockstar Spud vs. Dalton Castle

Castle is basically a man in a peacock costume during his entrance with and some good looking valets to disrobe him. Naturally the announcers aren’t going to explain who Castle is because they’re too busy with their “witty banter.” Castle puts his hands on his back and sticks his chest out so Spud imitates the look (one fan: “Spud’s was better!”). The pose off continues as the announcers debate this year’s Best Picture winner. They start shoving each other out of the way to pose before Spud gets one off a rollup over a minute in.

This sends Spud to the floor to call Castle a chicken. Time for a chase scene with Dalton getting taken down with a drop toehold. Matthews talks about being chased by a chicken as a kid as Spud knocks Dalton outside. Josh: “There was no choking of the chicken.” Castle throws him down to the mat and struts a bit before covering for two. Josh: “New game! Every time you say Castle’s full name, you have to give him a new middle name.” Spud screams at a slap and hits some running forearms, followed by the Underdog for the pin.

Rating: D+. I love Spud but there was only so much you can do here when the announcers are making up games to get themselves through the show. Castle needs a straight man or partner in general to play off as he doesn’t have the wrestling acumen to back him up out there. This was barely even a match after all the posing.

Matt Hardy is ready for his dream match against Austin Aries tonight. Who has been dreaming of that match? Matt talks about his career evolving all the time and now he’s going to give A Double a double dose of Mattitude.

Mikaze vs. DJZ

Mikaze had a pot of coffee back in ROH back in 2005-2006 and was squashed by Ryback one night. DJZ bails from the threat of a kick to the head and does a Karate Kid pose. Back up and Mikaze chases him out to the floor, only to have DJZ snap the back of his neck across the ropes. That’s with with Mikaze who skins the cat out to the floor and into a hurricanrana for a nice counter.

Back in and DJZ stomps him in the corner as we hear about Mikaze designing wrestling gear. Mikaze misses a springboard clothesline and a lot of choking ensues. The announcers count ropes (seriously) and laugh at the idea of Mike Tenay dying. Mikaze sends him to the floor and gets a running start before changing directions into a moonsault. That was awesome. Back in and Mikaze hits a springboard forearm (fans: “AJ STYLES!”) and Trouble in Paradise, only to get caught in a bottom rope tornado DDT to send DJZ to the Ultimate X.

Rating: C. Mikaze looked cool but the idea of sending anyone but those already on the roster to the main event is a pipe dream. DJZ is trying but he’s another example of someone who needs a partner to help him get through most of his matches. He’s mainly a comedy guy and that doesn’t translate well when he’s trying to have a regular match like this one.

Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love vs. Brooke vs. Taryn Terrell

Ladder match for a future Knockouts Title match. I love that they can’t say who the champion is at the moment as they have no idea who it will be when this airs. Everyone goes for the ladder to start but they just wind up knocking the thing over for a big crash. Madison suplexes Taryn on the floor (Josh: “That was violent!”) and the announcers take shots at the Divas.

We get the first ladder brought in with Gail trying to get it straightened on the top rope for no apparent reason as everyone fights in the background. Angelina gets dropped face first onto the ladder but Gail and Brooke start fighting over who gets to use the ladder. Taryn is sent face first into the ladder in the corner as Angelina sets up another between the barricade and the apron.

Everyone gets knocked down in the corner until Gail is dropkicked off the apron and onto the bridged ladder. We finally get a ladder set up in the middle of the ring but Brooke shoves it over, sending Angelina and Madison crashing down. Gail pulls Taryn down but both quickly climb up, only to have Brooke pull Gail through the rungs. Gail is dangling but stops Brooke from pulling the contract down. Not that it matters as the contract falls, allowing Taryn to dive onto it for the win.

Rating: D+. I’ve never been a fan of these short gimmick matches. What’s the point in even bringing the ladders in if they’re going to be done in less than seven minutes with five girls in there? You can barely get anything going and there’s almost no drama, though Taryn winning is always a good thing.

The Wolves are ready to face each other and they’re both coming at it hard. It’s all cool though.

Package on the Wolves.

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards

This is just a dream match instead of a qualifying match. They’re in different tights tonight to make this feel a bit different. Feeling out process to start and both guys give a clean break in the corner. They point at the crowd and lock up against the ropes as this is totally even so far. Davey can’t spin out of a wristlock but they both spin out of a hammerlock into a standoff. Now Josh talks about grilled cheese and his ability to map minds.

More technical stuff leads to a headscissors from Davey and they trade something like the surfboard’s drunk cousins. The third standoff sets up Davey nailing a dropkick and putting on an Indian deathlock, complete with a Rude hip swivel. Edwards does the same (the swivel I mean) with the surfboard knee stomp as Josh is STILL going on about the mind map stuff. Davey is sent to the floor and both guys avoid dives, setting up Eddie’s moonsault off the apron to break his heel and put him on the shelf for three months. Back in and Davey hits a pair of Creeping Deaths (Eddie: “DO IT! DO IT!”) for the pin.

Rating: C. This is a hard one to grade as it was just starting to get going when the injury took place. They didn’t want to go after each other here but they were getting into the spirit of competition right before the ending. Good enough match though and the Wolves continue to be awesome on this show.

Austin Aries says he and Matt Hardy are good in any division. He has to talk over a match ending and it’s really distracting. Isn’t there like an office or locker room deep inside the building that they could do these in instead?

Clip of Aries beating Roode in the first Option C cash-in.

Austin Aries vs. Matt Hardy

Again, the winner doesn’t go to Ultimate X. They fight into the corner to start as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here. Matt scores a quick takedown and poses before doing it again and shouting 2-0. Aries takes him down twice in a row, lays on the ropes and says we’re tied. They hit the mat with a headlock into a headscissors counter and it’s already a standoff. Another mat sequence ends with Aries hitting a basement dropkick and a slingshot hilo for two.

The announcers ignore the match again but at least they talk about the main event. Well to be fair they make a bet on the main event but close enough. Aries dropkicks Matt out to the floor but his suicide dive hits a forearm. Matt fights back with a middle rope elbow to the back of the head but the Side Effect is blocked with an elbow to the head. The double underhook guillotine has Aries in trouble but he escapes and puts on the Last Chancery.

They fight over a suplex on the apron (of course the Last Chancery didn’t work. It hasn’t in years) and Matt is shoved to the floor for the suicide dive. Aries dives into a kick into the ribs though and eats a Twist of Fate on the floor. Austin barely beats the count back in and quickly drops Hardy, only to miss the 450. Matt misses the moonsault though and they slug it out from their knees. The Side Effect gets two for Matt but Aries pops up with a pair of discus forearms, the running corner dropkick and the brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: B. Match of the night here by about a million miles but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. This sounded like something that should be headlining an indy show and there’s nothing wrong with it being the second biggest main event on a nothing show like this. To be fair, a big indy show probably has a better card than a lot of One Night Only shows.

Video on Ultimate X.

Kenny King vs. Tigre Uno vs. Rockstar Spud vs. DJZ vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Manik

Ultimate X for $100,000. Yeah not a title shot or anything, but money. It’s a big brawl to start with Manik making the first failed attempt at the X. A limping Spud is down on the floor as Steve bites DJZ’s head and hits him with a Cannonball in the corner. Tigre stops King from getting the X but gets pulled down by Manik. King superplexes Steve down and hammers away before everyone is down for a bit.

Spud pulls DJZ down and other combinations do the same thing as this is already starting to drag. We hit the parade of dives with Spud going last. It’s clear that they’re just killing time at this point, likely due to the Wolves match going short. They get back in (including Steve, who Josh keeps calling Steve of Crazy) for a Tower of Doom and the fans are barely reacting. King shoves DJZ through part of the structure before pulling Spud off the cables.

Tigre hits a Phoenix Splash to the floor onto DJZ for no apparent reason. King and Manik screw up an alliance and END THIS ALREADY! King is the only one left standing so he pulls out a ladder. Spud makes his comeback and hammers away on King but Kenny hits him with the ladder. The slowest climb of all time allows Spud to make the save and….have to deal with Manik who springboards onto the ladder. Thankfully it quickly falls over and Spud hangs on, pulling down the X to win.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here with nearly 18 minutes to this thing. The guys were trying hard but this shouldn’t be more than about ten minutes at most. The lack of drama really hurt it too as the only two possible winners were King and Spud, and there was barely a single dramatic attempt at the X. Just too long here and it really dragged things down.

Overall Rating: D. Oh yeah this was dull. It went on too long (which says a lot as this wasn’t even 2:45 long and it had about 15 minutes added with the Slammiversary match) and nothing here was worth seeing. In other words, it’s basically the exact same thing that has plagued every One Night Only show, including the dreadful commentary. Matthews and Borash clearly didn’t care and they knew they wouldn’t get in trouble for it because no one watches these shows. Bad show, but the guys were indeed trying.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Payback 2015 Preview

I know I’m not the biggest fan of the current product, but this show actually gives me hope. I didn’t expect anything the first two years they ran this show and they were both excellent surprises. It’s way too soon after Extreme Rules and way too close to Elimination Chamber, but maybe they can pull off something good for a good show. Let’s get to it.

We’ll start with the preshow and the match that makes me want to go on a hatchet rampage: the Meta Powers (yes seriously) vs. Ascension. Now let’s pause for a second here. I like to consider myself a patient man. I’ve sat through some of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever seen and managed to survive. I got through every original episode of Monday Nitro and Thunder (and now I’m doing it AGAIN). I even made it through the Ruthless Aggression Era on Monday Night Raw.

But now I think I’ve reached my breaking point (which may or may not include Randy Orton torture material). After a year of the Ascension being one of the coolest tag teams of the year in NXT and seeing them debut as a pretty cool throwback idea, I’m going to have to watch Curtis Axel and Damien Sandow imitate great wrestlers beat them in an unfunny comedy match because Vince and Dunn will laugh at it.

Ascension may be the greatest travesty in wrestling in years and now it’s time to put this thrown together team over them for the sake of a lame comedy act. Remember when Charlie Haas did this and it got old in like two months? This isn’t even getting two months, at least not from me. It’s two guys with nothing better to do than imitate legends because WWE decided to have Miz win the blowoff and then run off to go make a movie, leaving Sandow around to flounder because they don’t think more than an hour ahead at any given time. I can’t stand this idea and it’s going to make me want to hurt someone. Maybe Repo Man.

Oh yeah there’s a full pay per view to go.

Cena over Rusev, even though Rusev somehow getting the title back would be more interesting. However, I’ll take Cena retaining as we can get more of the Open Challenges, which are pretty easily what I look forward to the most on Raw every single week. Even the fans in the arena are catching on. Notice how strong a reaction Cena has been getting lately. Let a good wrestler have good matches and people will cheer. Yes, it really is that simple. What isn’t simple is HOW HAVE THESE TWO NEVER HAD A FLAG MATCH? If there has ever been an easier layup for a gimmick I don’t know what it is, but we’ve never seen one.

Rollins to reta…..I’m sure about this aren’t I? WWE has actually made me think about this one more than once and I can’t believe I’m saying that. The key here is Elimination Chamber, because there’s the slightest chance they’ll pull the trigger on a two week title reign for someone and then get it back on Rollins. Unfortunately I think they’ll keep the title on Rollins here and set up his defense against Kane at the nothing pay per view. At least that keeps it quick I guess. Yeah Rollins to retain and no one turns.

I think they’ll go with Barrett over Neville. Despite winning King of the Ring earlier this month, somehow he needs the win more. It’s very sad to say but that’s actually the truth. Neville is going to be over because of his awesome flips and the fact that he busts out a different move every now and then to keep things going. The fact that this guy debuted like six weeks ago and is basically a coin toss against the King of the Ring is astounding.

Sheamus beats Ziggler to even the series, setting up a blowoff at Money in the Bank because they’ll both be inside the Chamber for the Intercontinental Title because WWE keeps the same people in the same spots on the card for like ever.

And now……wait…..I think I……..I THINK I CAN FEEL THE POWAH! Yeah I still love that intro. If this isn’t the match of the night by about 18,000 miles, I’m going to be shocked. I think New Day holds the titles in the 2/3 falls match over Kidd/Cesaro and then drops them inside the chamber, which might be best as you don’t want them to lose their heat. This is going to be amazing and I can’t wait to see how they handle the Elimination Chamber match. I can’t believe it but dang this is the best thing going today.

Ryback vs. Wyatt is happening too. That’s about the extent of my thoughts about it at this point even though I think about it more than any feud going on right now. It’s such a weird feud as they really don’t have a reason to be fighting. Bray just picked Ryback and is feuding with him, but the match has the potential to be very entertaining with two guys beating the tar out of each other for about fifteen minutes. I’m actually not sure if this needs more development or not. Bray isn’t the kind of guy that needs a reason to do anything and if the matches are good, who cares?

Tamina and Naomi to beat the Bella Twins so Naomi can get into the title hunt, whatever that means. You have like eight activeish Divas (Bellas, Naomi, Tamina, Fox, Cameron, Natalya and Summer. Yes I left off Rosa and if you can’t figure out why, I’ve failed at educating you) including the champion and her partner. Who isn’t in the title hunt?

Overall, I’m actually looking forward to this show. This has the potential to be a really, really strong card (when is the last time I didn’t say that actually?) with only the Divas doing nothing for me. Yeah there’s another show in two weeks, but this could be a really fun outing, especially with such low expectations.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Lucha Underground – May 13, 2015: Fun Wrestling

Lucha Underground
Date: May 13, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro

Another week, another awesome show from Lucha Underground. The big story here is Alberto vs. Hernandez with the winner getting an eventually title shot at Prince Puma. There’s also the impending return of Mil Muertes, who is probably going to want to kill a few dozen people to make himself feel better. In other words, this show should be great. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Patron beating Mundo last week for the right to face Hernandez tonight for the #1 contendership.

Cueto talks to his unseen brother about spending a fortune to find some medallions that will make a warrior stronger than a god. Tonight, the battles for the medallions begin.

The announcers mention a new superstar debuting tonight.

Aerostar vs. Jack Evans

Here’s the debut and someone I’m really not a fan of. Evans is one of the cockiest wrestlers of all time and the king of the unnecessary flips. The fans are behind Aerostar as he dropkicks Evan in the back to start. He puts Evans on the middle rope for his completely unnecessary (common word in this match) run across the ropes into a hurricanrana. Evans backflips from the middle rope to the apron but gets knocked to the floor for a flip dive from Aerostar, who comes up holding his knee.

Back in and Evans flips some more before kicking Star in the neck. Off to an STF of all things, which is surprising as you almost never see a submission in this company outside of Pentagon Jr. A standing corkscrew moonsault (Striker: “Ode to Blitzkrieg!” Makes sense as Blitzkrieg gave Evans the gimmick) gets two for Evans and he drops Star on his head with a German suplex.

A big hiptoss sends Evans to the floor and Star throws him into the barricade for good measure. Jack pops back up for a 450 off the same barricade to pop the crowd. Back in and Evans misses another springboard splash but catches Star on top. Evans: “EL MEJOR LUCHADOR!” (the best luchador). Star will have none of this and channels his inner Canadian with a super Canadian Destroyer for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was fun but I can never ignore all the flips for the sake of flips. Evans is a really solid heel but it was the right call to have him lose here. They’re getting somewhere with Aerostar and that’s a very important key to a company like this. Good little match here, but the flips made my eyes roll. The knee was forgotten as soon as it was introduced too.

The Mack is impressed by all the money Big Ryck has but Ryck is annoyed at their failure to win the Trios Titles. Ryck says this business is all about making money and for the right price, he’ll beat up anyone.

Fenix vs. Sexy Star vs. The Mack vs. Killshot vs. Cage vs. King Cuerno vs. Pentagon Jr.

I’m assuming this is one fall to a finish. Cueto says the winner of this gets one of the seven Aztec medallions. It’s a huge brawl to start until Fenix and Pentagon are the only to standing. Fenix takes over by bouncing to the top for a missile dropkick as everyone else fights on the floor. Pentagon comes back with a running tornado DDT before the two of them go outside as well.

Cuerno and Killshot head inside to replace them with Killshot taking him to the mat. That lasts as long as you would expect until Killshot dropkicks him down, only to eat a hard kick to the head of his own. Star comes in with a shot from behind on Cuerno and is quickly replaced by Killshot, who gets his head taken off by Cage. The Mack comes back in and kicks Cage to the floor, only to have him run right back in to help Cuerno with a double suplex on Mack and Killshot.

Almost everyone gets back in but Star’s shots have no effect on Cage. Instead it’s Fenix kicking Cage down until Mack takes Cage out to the floor. Pentagon gets back in for a few seconds before it’s he and Fenix hitting top rope double stomps on Killshot and Mack before clotheslining each other to give Cage and Cuerno two each with Cage and Star making the saves. Got all that? Cuerno kicks Cage instead of Star, who then dives onto Pentagon on the floor.

Cage slams Mack down but gets nailed by Killshot. Star grabs a rollup on Fenix but Killshot blasts the girl to put everyone down. Mack gets two on Cage off a standing moonsault (that looked cool) before it’s back to Fenix diving over the top to take Pentagon down again. Cage catches Fenix’s suicide dive in a suplex but Killshot dives onto both of them to put everyone not named Cuerno down.

Cuerno’s Arrow nails Killshot as Pentagon and Star get back in. Fenix runs in to save Star but Pentagon manages a modified Widow’s Peak to Star and a package piledriver on Fenix AT THE SAME TIME. That looked awesome but Star stops him from breaking Fenix’s arm. Fenix pops back up with a quick hurricanrana and most of a standing moonsault for the pin on Pentagon.

Rating: B. Fun match but that’s the highest a match like this can go. It wasn’t much from a quality standpoint but that’s the fun part about Lucha Underground: they don’t try to be anything more than a very fun show without the quality being all that strong. Fun stuff here and Fenix continues to look like something awesome out there.

Cueto says that the Crew is getting a shot at the Trios Titles for winning a regular tag match last week. Son of Havoc says that’s not fair as Ivelisse has a broken leg but Cueto makes it a ladder match for fun.

Katrina (looking GOOD here) comes in to Fenix’s locker room and says Muertes is even stronger than ever. He’s coming for Fenix, and that makes Fenix a pawn of death. Catrina leaves and Fenix sees men in skull masks staring at him.

Hernandez vs. Alberto El Patron

#1 contenders match and you have to win by pinfall or submission, basically making this a street fight. Feeling out process to start with Patron accepting a test of strength for no logical reason. Hernandez drives him into the corner and knocks him out to the floor for some rams into the apron. They get inside again and Patron gets two off a quick Backstabber but Hernandez runs him over to block the low superkick.

Something like a DDT and the low superkick are good for two on Hernandez but here’s Johnny Mundo to pull Alberto to the floor for a DDT before throwing him through a window and right into Cueto’s office. The smile on Cueto’s face is another great example of why he’s awesome. Fans: “WHY JOHNNY WHY???” Hernandez pins the bloody Patron with ease.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to get anywhere and it was all about the angle anyway. Mundo has the potential to be a really strong heel as there hasn’t been a big bad (wrestler at least) in Lucha Underground for a while now. Hernandez vs. Puma should be fun, as should Patron coming back to get revenge on Mundo.

Mundo says this is his world as Patron is taken out on a stretcher.

Overall Rating: B+. As usual, Lucha Underground is some of the most fun wrestling you’ll see anywhere right now. They know exactly what they’re going for here and that’s one of the most important things you can have in a wrestling company. Really fun episode this week and they’re going to be ready to knock it out of the park soon with their big shows.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder – December 23, 1999: A New Breed Of Failing

Thunder
Date: December 23, 1999
Location: Wicomico Civic Center, Salisbury, Maryland
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Scott Hudson

On Monday, this company replaced wrestling with some weird shoot style which involves whatever Russo and Ferrara feeling like throwing out there being presented as the new reality. The big story was the reformation of the NWO because…..normally I would complain here but it was probably the most logical thing all night. I have no idea what I’m about to watch but let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Monday’s main story. The two minute version doesn’t make it any better than the three hour edition.

Tenay promises to prove that Thunder is special again.

Here’s the NWO to open things up and Tony is RIGHT THERE to tell us how strong the NWO really is. Bret brags about all the gold and says they couldn’t make this any more black and white. This has been in the works for over a month and the stupid wrestling fans never saw it coming. We see some clips of the Outsiders helping Bret out over the last few months with Bret conveniently never seeing a thing.

This is the one and only one thing I can give Russo some slack on: the big conspiracy stories don’t hold up if you know what to look for, so tying all this together probably did work a lot better when this show was airing live. Basically the NWO lead Goldberg and Benoit along so the four of them wound up with all the belts and it was a big swerve all along. It still doesn’t make up for Monday’s debacle or the holes in the logic, but at least it’s there. On the screwjob at Starrcade, Bret: “That was better than Shawn Michaels!”

Nash rips on the fans for only cheering the Outsiders because they wanted to be hip. They’re a bunch of $5 an hour workers who have no idea what it takes to be this great. They’ve never needed the people but they don’t mind taking the money. Hall says a bunch of stuff that has to be censored but Jeff cleans it up by declaring this crowd the first annual slapnuts convention. Again he declares himself the chosen one, which makes me wonder why he isn’t the World Champion.

Jeff: “No one saw it coming!” Hall: “I didn’t know where we were half the time.” This NWO is only going to be the elite, because once you’ve had the black, you never go back. That line is SO out of place from Jarrett. Cue Goldberg, who is quickly told he sucks. He’s going to rip the NWO’s hearts out and it’s not going to be who’s next but who’s left.

The announcers eat up time by running down the card. Tenay is lead announcer and Tony is playing second fiddle. That’s quite odd to see.

Token footage of Leia Meow stretching.

Two helmeted bikers arrive.

Benoit says he prefers life’s hard decisions because they require sacrifice. He modeled himself after Bret for living his life the way he believed it should be lived. That ended Monday, so tonight he’s taking Bret’s heart.

PG-13 vs. Varsity Club

Steiner and Rotundo here but first, a rap from PG-13. Leia is forced to exercise before the match and I’m sure you get the idea here. PG-13 gets beaten down to start and Steiner runs over JC Ice. Sullivan says the Varsity Club is too smart to get conned like Goldberg. A combination of clotheslines and Steiner Lines knock PG-13 into oblivion but the referee throws it out. Tenay says it’s a double DQ, even though PG-13 literally had no offense.

Wolfie D. is put in the Tree of Woe for a low blow from Meow. Who in the world thought these teams needed to be brought in?

David Flair beats up a fast food worker for not getting his order right.

Russo is yelling at Hennig in his office, which has been put back together but still has the damage from Piper. So they dragged the broken walls to the arena and set them back up? Hennig didn’t seem to know what was going on in the big scheme but here are the bikers to interrupt. It’s the Harris Twins who turn over Russo’s table and yell at him for screwing with their lives.

Here are the Filthy Animals and Jim Duggan with something to say. Eddie says the Animals are a lot of things but above all else, they’re Americans. The Revolution left them by the roadside but they’re back to knock the Revolution down. Kidman and Konnan say the same thing as Eddie, albeit in very, very different methods of speaking. Rey promises to beat the Revolution like the dogs they are.

Duggan of course says HO and USA. He wants to make the Revolution his personal HO so here’s the Revolution with Dean ranting about the flag of the Revelation (yes the Revelation because Dean doesn’t even care what stable he’s in). Saturn starts talking about Fred Flintstone never realizing that the rack of ribs is too big for his car, making him by far the most entertaining thing in this story. Shane wants to break Duggan’s neck and complains about Americans. The fans are the ones that suck off the government programs and Duggan’s comeback is just him being an idiot. Apparently there’s a match tonight.

Russo sends Hennig and Jarrett after Creative Control.

Tank Abbott vs. La Parka

A right hand puts La Parka down and Tank hammers away in the corner. La Parka hits him with the chair and gets knocked out cold for a no contest.

Tank knocks Doug Dillinger out too.

Norman Smiley hides from Goldberg. Why is Goldberg having issues finding the NWO? Why didn’t he just wait for them to come through the curtain earlier?

The Artist still has issues recording his music but still won’t speak. Paisley gets on the producer for questioning the lyrics.

Hardcore Title: Fit Finlay vs. Norman Smiley

Smiley is defending but Finlay knocks him into the weapons cart to get things going. They fight into the crowd and into the back as we hit the hardcore requirement from the WWF. Knobbs shows up and helps beat Norman up in the concession stand. They lower a metal door and try to crush Norman but Meng makes the save. Norman is thrown on top of Finlay for the pin.

Meng gives Norman the Death Grip post “match”.

Jeff Jarrett finds a paper.

Goldberg chokes Jarrett against a wall and says he’s coming for the NWO when they least expect it.

Creative Control comes out to say they’re no longer Creative Control. Now they’re Ron and Don Harris because I guess that’s supposed to make us care about them. They and their country accents are coming for the Powers That Be. Side note: if they’re the Powers That Be, why do we never hear another voice?

Ron Harris/Don Harris vs. Curt Hennig/Jeff Jarrett

And there’s no Jarrett, so the heel is now in a handicap match. Hennig tries to fight back as Tony tries to keep the Twins straight. The Twins throw Hennig around and a side slam gives we’ll say Ron the pin. Total squash in less than two minutes.

The NWO comes out gives the Harris the NWO treatment, complete with spray paint.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Maestro

Kanyon comes out to do commentary for reasons of storyline development and immediately starts a BRING BACK JUVY chant. Well it’s a one man chant but you get the idea. Maestro goes right at Bigelow to start but gets thrown away when trying a bulldog. Symphony comes in to prevent the diving headbutt so Bigelow dives at her anyway, sending Symphony running away. The distraction lets Kanyon hit Bigelow with a champagne bucket to give Maestro the pin.

Diamond Dallas Page says there’s nothing between Buff Bagwell and his wife. He’s booked against the Wall but won’t fight him until he gets a match with Bagwell.

Recap of Madusa and Karagias.

Evan is in the ring and YES! IT! IS! TIME! Evan says it’s time for a comeback and introduces us to his friends Shannon Moore and Shane Helms. Their collective names: 3 Count. They may not be N’Sync or the Backstreet Boys but they’ll charm the pants off everyone’s girlfriend. Now hit the music. We get a music video for the yet to be named single, spliced together with the guys singing the song (I Can’t Get You Out Of My Heart). The tasteless fans hate the song and here’s a now serious Chavo Guerrero to clean house with dropkicks.

I know they’re not the best remembered team but I loved these guys and thought they were a great idea. Boy bands were huge back then so why not go with a gimmick based on them? It’s certainly better than Evan being the schnook who keeps getting beaten up by women every other week.

David Flair shows up at a gas station and runs into a guy named Crowbar. The Misfits show up and beat the two of them down for no adequately explored reason.

Konnan/Kidman/Jim Duggan vs. Revolution

Saturn/Malenko/Asya here with Shane on commentary. Konnan hammers on Malenko to start and Kidman comes in with a slingshot legdrop. Off to Saturn who eats a Bodog and a high cross body for two. Asya gets knocked off the apron as well but Saturn suplexes Kidman in half.

Back to Malenko for two off a suplex, followed by Saturn’s top rope elbow for the same. Duggan gets the hot tag and cleans house with his variety of right hands and slams. He goes to hit Asya but takes a low blow from Saturn. Shane wants Duggan to denounce America and everything breaks down. The hobbling Rey distracts Dean and Saturn, setting up a sloppy double sunset flip to give the Animals the pin.

Rating: D+. Boring match but somehow this was the first one tonight to break three minutes. Duggan (why is he still the janitor?) doesn’t fit in this story and there’s no reason for the Animals vs. the Revolution to keep going other than they have nothing else to do. At least they gave this match something close to time.

The Revolution gets in some crutches shots to make themselves feel better.

Kevin Nash vs. The Wall

It’s Hall’s turn to be on commentary. Nash takes him into the corner for some knees to the ribs to start but Wall comes back with right hands to the head. A clothesline and big boot put Nash down and it’s Hall coming in with the pipe for the DQ.

Wall gets spray painted and beaten up even more.

Post break, Wall gets off a stretcher.

As Nash gets in the shower, Hall finds Goldberg in his room. Back to the shower, where Nash doesn’t seem to notice the camera, and Goldberg is there too. Is he multiplying or something? We see both Outsiders out cold. Is it possible to like, SLOW DOWN on having him go through the NWO?

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is challenging of course and erupts on Hart in the corner to get things going. They fight over to the announcers’ table with the champ getting control. Back inside with Bret dropping a leg and an elbow, followed by a DDT for two. Benoit fights back with a kick to the ribs and elbow to the jaw for two of his own. The champ nails a low blow as the fans are just silent. Benoit reverses him into the corner and grabs the Crossface, drawing in Jarrett for the DQ.

Rating: D. Just a punch and kick match until the finish with no one believing that Benoit was going over here. That silence for Bret tells you everything you need to know though: this storyline is just a disaster. Monday was too much for the fans to take and there’s no reason to care. They weren’t even booing, but rather just sitting there in silence. That’s a bad sign after your big angle of the year.

Cue Goldberg to spear Jarrett and chase Bret to the back. Bret gets away in a car but Goldberg sees the Powers That Be’s limo. One right hand through the window and see you in June Goldberg. By the way, for those of you that have never seen it, that injury is what Nash said killed the Fingerpoke of Doom fallout story with Goldberg rising up through the ranks to get Hogan. You read that right.

Overall Rating: F. You know the amazing thing about this show? That Bret vs. Benoit match took place after the show was supposed to end. Why is that amazing? That match (the longest of the night at 4:54) took us to our grand total of less than 21 minutes of wrestling. In other words, in the two hours Thunder was scheduled to be on the air, the total time spent on wrestling (and that’s including Norman vs. Finlay in the back) was 15:41. If you add in the World Title match, the total time was 20:35. It took overtime to break 20 minutes of wrestling on a two hour show. That is unacceptable.

Now onto the good. This show wasn’t the abomination that we saw on Monday. It was a disaster and one of the worst wrestling shows I’ve ever seen with almost no action, mostly worthless matches and a story that ran in two hours instead of two to six months, but it was NOT this past Monday. They reigned things way back in tonight and it made the show tolerable, but that certainly doesn’t mean it’s good. I think I can live with it like this, but there are far more changes needed here than WCW has time for.

The show isn’t airing next week due to a college football game so that’s it for Thunder in 1999.




Impact Wrestling – May 15, 2015: Let That Be Enough

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 15, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Mike Tenay

We’re coming off the big live show last week and rolling towards Slammiversary at the end of June. The big story at the end of last week’s show was Angle making Eric Young tap to retain the title, presumably to end their feud. Other than that we have the continuing story of the Rising vs. the BDC as Drew Galloway was beaten down by a pipe last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Angle vs. Young, who tonight will lead two teams in a hardcore war. Good grief just get to Carter vs. Angle already.

Here are Angle and Chris Melendez to start things off. Angle talks about going to war with Young last week, but Eric sided with the BDC. Well now Kurt has backup of his own, including Chris Melendez. He needs a bit more though, so Angle would like the Rising to come out here right now. Kurt calls them a breath of fresh air in this company as they try to eliminate a cancer calling itself the BDC.

Galloway praises Angle a bit but likes the look of that World Title. Angle likes the idea but here’s Eric Young to say he got ripped off last week. Kind of like we’re getting ripped off from having a good World Title challenger. Young was ripped off by the guest referee so he’s owed another title shot. He goes on and on until Angle tells him to shut up because the stupidity caught him last week.

Angle tells him to shut up again and offers Young a title shot in an I Quit match. That’s for the future though because tonight is about hardcore. Cue the BDC to go after everyone in the ring. Young comes in to help with the beat down but Lashley comes out to complete Angle’s team and make the save. So it’s going to be a twelve man hardcore war later tonight? That’s a bit excessive no?

Brooke/Rebel vs. Dollhouse

Marti/Jade here. Rebel is described as a former member of the Menagerie. The Dollhouse cleans house to start with Marti hammering on Rebel in the ring. It’s quickly off to Jade for some knees to the head. The double teaming continues as Matthews confirms that the Menagerie is no more. Dang it I always like that act. Brooke comes in off the hot tag and fires off some forearms as everything breaks down. Rebel misses Christy’s old Flying Firecrotch Guillotine (yep) and a double slam (think a chokeslam but lifting under the arms instead of by the throat) is enough to give the Dollhouse the pin at 3:57.

Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t much but I’m digging the Dollhouse more and more every single week. Taryn is perfect as the borderline psycho leader, but the supporting cast is cool too as they can both go in the ring. Rebel and Brooke are fine as the good looking jobbers for them and the match was fine for what it was.

Post match Taryn says she has play time scheduled with Gail Kim’s family.

The BDC and Eric Young are texting Homicide but he won’t be here tonight. MVP has a replacement but Young has someone better. King doesn’t trust him but MVP wants the crazy man on his side instead of against him.

Here are Ethan Carter III and Tyrus with the former wondering how he isn’t #1 contender after the former #1 contender lost to the champion last week. He wants answers but gets Mr. Anderson with a chair instead. Anderson is disappointed when they leave because he wants to fight someone tonight. They start to walk but Anderson suggests a match with Tyrus. If he wins, he gets Carter in the future. After some swearing insults at Tyrus, the big man says get a referee out there.

Mr. Anderson vs. Tyrus

Anderson hammers away to start but gets run over for two. A Big Ending gets two and Tyrus slams him down again for the same. Carter tries to bring in the chair but gets ejected, allowing Anderson to play possum and counter the spike into the Mic Check for the pin at 4:36.

Rating: D. Really, really dull match here and yet another instance of stretching out a feud before we get to the beyond obvious Angle vs. Carter feud for the title. This one is far more interesting than the Young version but it’s clearly just filling time because having more than a month build to what is likely the Slammiversary main event doesn’t work.

We take a quick look back at Magnus blasting Storm with the guitar last week.

Magnus wants Storm out here right now but gets Abyss instead. The monster says there are consequences for what you do and this week, Magnus’ consequences are Abyss. It’s a brawl at ringside instead of a match with Abyss taking over only to stop to throw in some barbecue equipment (cross promotion with a Destination America show about barbecuing). Abyss loads up the chokeslam but takes some tongs to the crotch, only to have Manik try to come in. That earns him something like a brainbuster but Khoya comes in with a walking stick to lay Magnus out. Magnus eats a chokeslam for good measure.

Quick recap of the Tag Team Title situation with the Wolves and Hardys having to vacate the belts, setting up a best of five series between the Wolves and Dirty Heels (I’m really not sure how to feel about that name) for the belts.

Wolves vs. Dirty Heels

That’s their official name now and this is match #1 in the best of five series. It’s also Edwards’ first match back from injury. Roode and Richards get things going and for some reason the camera is zoomed in on Roode as they get started. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Richards vs. Aries with the Wolves taking over on Austin’s arm. Aries is driven into Davey’s knee but sends him into the corner, allowing for the tag off to Bobby.

A catapult sends Eddie into a forearm from Aries, followed by the slingshot elbow for two. The running dropkick in the corner is countered and Edwards hits a dropkick of his own to put Roode down. There’s the hot tag to Richards for the “make your opponent DDT his partner” spot (one of the dumbest spots I’ve ever seen) before the powerbomb/Backstabber is countered with a hurricanrana. Aries takes out the Wolves with a suicide dive, followed by the corner dropkick to Richards. Davey is still in it though and counters Roode’s spinebuster into a sunset flip for the pin and the first match at 8:26.

Rating: B. Good match here but they’re still waiting to crank it up in the later matches. These are two of the better teams in wrestling a the moment and seeing them fight five times (perhaps with some gimmicks later on) is going to be really entertaining and likely blown off at Slammiversary.

Galloway picks Micah over Eli for the hardcore war tonight.

Taryn talks about going to see Gail Kim’s stepdaughters earlier today. She’s also going to show us what she’s wearing for Kim’s husband Robert.

Storm yells at the Revolution for going after Magnus without permission. This is between him and Mickie James and no one else.

Here’s the Dollhouse again with Taryn in a robe. Taryn makes fun of Gail for being so serious of a wrestler because the Dollhouse is making something special. She has pictures of her with Gail’s stepdaughters who look borderline terrified. But now, here’s what she’s wearing for Gail’s husband. It’s some very revealing lingerie so here’s Gail, but Marti asks why she’s so serious. Gail wants a match with Taryn but Taryn brings up the husband again, meaning the fight is on with the Dollhouse running.

Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E.

Robbie has straightened his hair a bit. This is fallout from their brawl a few weeks ago and they bump fists to start. That’s the highest impact of the match though as Robbie grabs a rollup for the pin at 24 seconds.

Godderz wants to restart the match so here we go again.

Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E.

Jesse throws him down with authority but a majistral cradle is good enough to make Robbie 2-0 at 31 seconds.

Godderz wasn’t ready so let’s do it one more time.

Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E.

The fans count the seconds this time and Jesse celebrates a headlock. A dropkick gets two with Jesse driving his forearm into Robbie’s face. Robbie comes right back with a crucifix for the pin at 1:10.

Godderz is livid so he hits Robbie in the head with the mic. He throws Robbie to the floor and puts a chair around Robbie’s neck before driving it into the post.

Angle fires up his team for tonight. Eli Drake still doesn’t look happy.

Eric Young has a fifth guy.

Mr. Anderson is having something built to help deal with Tyrus.

Team Angle vs. Team Young

Hardcore war, which apparently means a gauntlet match, which seems to be Lethal Lockdown minus the cage but with weapons. Low Ki with his pipe and Drew Galloway with a pipe of his own start things up. First fall wins with 90 second intervals and Team Young won the coin toss (duh) to have the advantage. Low Ki loses his pipe early and Drew takes him to the floor for some hard chops instead of laying pipe into him.

Kenny King is in next with a weapon that is knocked out of his hands too quickly to notice. Galloway eats some chops against the barricade as King pulls out a cane to nail him in the back. Micah and a nightstick even things up and the Rising takes over with the usual brawling. Eric Young is in next with a trashcan lid (that is one CRAZY trashcan lid. Like, you know your crazy Uncle Stu who thinks he’s Catherine Zeta-Jones? It’s crazier than him) and he quickly sets up a Tower of Doom, but Galloway sits up out of the Tree of Woe into a German suplex to take everyone down.

Kurt Angle comes in with what looks like another pipe but throws it down for a bunch of Germans. We take a break and come back with MVP (kendo stick) and Chris Melendez (another pipe) involved. Eric’s mystery partner, with another kendo stick, is Bram. Team Young cleans house for a bit until Lashley completes the field, meaning it’s now first fall wins. Lashley avoids all of King’s kicks and plants him with a powerslam.

MVP’s Playmaker is countered but Bram cracks Lashley in the head with a kendo stick, setting up the Brighter Side of Suffering. Micah hits a Big Ending (just like Tyrus earlier) but King springboards in to take him down. That’s fine with Galloway who takes most of Team Young down with a big flip dive over the ropes. Angle dives on everyone not named Young or Melendez, leaving Eric to hit a quick piledriver for the pin on Chris at 17:21.

Rating: D+. Basically this existed so it could exist. There was no real need for this to be a gauntlet match or a hardcore match as a ten man tag would have accomplished exactly the same thing. That’s the bad sign for a gimmick: you can do the exact same thing without the gimmick being in place. The match was nothing special though and really could have done with being cut down to eight people.

Post match Young rips off Melendez’s leg and chokes Angle out with it to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show felt really rushed and packed full of stuff. It felt like they were cramming in as much stuff as they could and it brought down the good stuff they were doing. You can see most of Slammiversary from here, but some of it really isn’t that interesting. I mean, the Rising vs. the BDC just keeps going with no real reason to exist. The tag team series is good, but it’s not something that’s going to blow the doors off the place until it gets closer to the end. The show should be good, but the build isn’t great so far.

As for tonight…..meh. The hardcore war didn’t do anything for me as you have ten guys with weapons in a gauntlet format. Clearly that just needs 100 minutes of build. The battle of the BroMans could be good and they got through the whole thing in like eight minutes so points for that. The Anderson vs. Carter and Angle vs. Young feuds feel like they’re just going for the sake of going, but Angle vs. Young seems to be moving towards wrapping up. It’s a decent enough show, but they’ve cooled way off in recent weeks.

Results

Dollhouse b. Brooke/Rebel – Double lifting slam to Rebel

Mr. Anderson b. Tyrus – Mic Check

Wolves b. Dirty Heels – Sunset flip to Roode

Robbie E. b. Jesse Godderz – Rollup

Robbie E. b. Jesse Godderz – Majistral cradle

Robbie E. b. Jesse Godderz – Crucifix

Team Young b. Team Angle – Piledriver to Melendez

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Lucha Underground – May 6, 2015: Why I Love This Show

Lucha Underground
Date: May 6, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro

We’re getting closer to the season finale and a lot of these stories are starting to reach their peaks. The big story from last week was the elimination of Drago after he lost his Lucha Underground Title shot. Other than that we have Dario Cueto being all evil with the threat of his brother, whoever or whatever that may be. Let’s get to it.

The standard recap (I like these things as I haven’t watched the show in a few weeks) shows us Albert vs. Johnny Mundo being set up and Hernandez becoming #1 contender.

Johnny and Alberto pitch themselves as #1 contender but Cueto isn’t sure. Mundo thinks they’re both more worthy than Fernandez, even though he won the triple threat. Cueto sets up Alberto vs. Mundo with the winner facing Hernandez for the #1 contendership next week. Hernandez better be ticked over this.

The Crew vs. Son of Havoc/Angelico

Neither gets an entrance. Bael is the odd man out here, as if that matters. Havoc starts with I think Cisco (seriously people, get them a nametag or something) and takes him down before Angelico tags himself in for the rolling kicks to the head. Castro comes in (thankfully in a shirt so I can tell these two apart) and jumps over a legsweep, only to eat another kick. Ivelisse, with her bad leg, is sitting in the front row and barking orders as her partners.

The Crew tries to make some tags but Angelico comes back in and cleans house with those fast strikes of his. Castro (wait now he doesn’t have a shirt. Either they’re changing clothes or Striker is making up the names as he goes) gets rolled up for two and heads outside, only to have both champions “hit” big flip dives to take them out. Back in and Angelico gets a quick two on Castro but the fans want Havoc. That’s exactly what they get as he tags himself in after Angelico flips out of a double belly to back suplex. Everything breaks down and the Crew hits the flapjack into the Codebreaker to pin Havoc.

Rating: C-. This was decent enough but my goodness I’m sick of the Crew being the same guy with three different names. The champions that can’t get along idea has been covered, but this match continues to show the bigger issue: there aren’t enough trios to validate having a whole division with titles. Decent match but I really don’t care for the Crew.

Daivari tells Cueto he likes to inflict violence, so Dario gives him Texano next. Apparently Daivari’s family owns a bunch of real estate in the area so he’s a wealthy man. That’s one of the things I love about Lucha Underground: they just make up characters and backstories, like you would see in the old days before everything had to be the truth. You don’t have a story for someone? Just make one up. Why is that so complicated?

Konnan doesn’t want Hernandez coming after Puma’s title because of their friendship but Hernandez want to beat Puma for the belt. The chuckling Cueto comes in and tells Hernandez about the ruling he made earlier about Alberto and Mundo, which thankfully ticks him off. As for tonight, it’s Puma/Hernandez vs. Cage/Cuerno. Simple, effective, and it took about a minute. If this were WWE, it would be five minutes, boring, and predictable.

Delavar Daivari vs. Texano

Daivari has a drink during the entrances. Texano charges in and beats Daivari down, only to be called for the DQ maybe 15 seconds in.

Cage/King Cuerno vs. Hernandez/Prince Puma

Still no entrances. Cage and Hernandez get things going and trade shoulders with Cage getting the better of it until Hernandez hits a slingshot shoulder to take over. Off to the champ but he’s quickly caught in a powerslam, only to break it up with a headscissors. Cuerno comes in but gets taken down just as quickly. The King kicks the Prince in the chest and nails a TKO (love that move), setting up a 619 of all things from Cage. That was really cool to see actually.

The squats into a Jackhammer gets two for Cage but Puma pops up (selling? What’s that?) and hits a series of kicks to the face and a Blue Thunder Bomb on Cuerno. Back to Hernandez who cleans house and throws Cuerno over the top and onto Cage. The big SuperMex dive takes both guys down again and of course the fans are way into it. Puma loads up one of his own but Hernandez gets back on the apron to “accidentally” break it up.

Back in and Puma and Hernandez clean house on Cuerno but Cage takes Hernandez’s head off with a clothesline. Hernandez runs Cuerno over but eats another clothesline from Cage. They head outside, where Hernandez pulls Puma right in the way of the suicide dive from Cuerno. Hernandez has had enough of this teaming up thing and powerbombs Puma on the apron, setting up Weapon X to give Cage the pin over the champ.

Rating: C. Storyline loss for Puma here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Hernandez is a good choice for a big power guy who can put over someone like Puma in the future as he looks more and more like a giant killer every time he fights off someone like Hernandez or Cage. Good enough stuff here and that Arrow from Cuerno looked great.

Black Lotus’ master says if she can beat him, she can go for her revenge. She tries to strike him and is easily blocked. The master tells him that she requires more training so she agrees to stay.

Alberto El Patron vs. Johnny Mundo

The winner faces Hernandez next week for a future title shot. They trade headlocks to start until Alberto sends him into the corner and hits a dropkick to the back of the head for two. Johnny gets all ticked off and hits those hard right hands of his to knock Alberto to the floor, only to get tied up in the ring apron. An enziguri knocks Mundo’s block off and we hit the chinlock.

Patron misses a moonsault and Johnny starts slugging away, followed by the Flying Chuck for two. Mundo slaps on something like the cousin of a cobra clutch but Patron pops up for a backdrop over the top, sending Mundo onto the steps. A big suicide dive takes Mundo down again but Alberto can’t follow up. Back in and they slug it out with Alberto taking over with clotheslines followed by the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. That goes nowhere as Johnny knocks him outside for a big corkscrew plancha.

Back in again and Alberto nails a reverse superplex for two before finally taking his shirt off. Alberto starts going for the arm but eats a running knee to the head, setting up the End of the World for two. The armbreaker sends Mundo rolling to the ropes for a quick break. Patron misses a charge into the post and takes a top rope double stomp to the back for two more. Back up and a quick Codebreaker to the arm sets up the low superkick to give Patron the pin.

Rating: B+. I don’t know if it was the dream match that the announcers were building it up to be but this was a very fun wrestling match, which is all it needed to be. Mundo can still more than go in the ring and Patron’s style is so much better suited for a company like Lucha Underground than WWE. Good stuff here.

Catrina, with the magic rock, opens the casket to release Mil Muertes.

Overall Rating: B. Really fun show here and it set up the stories for the future. Alberto and Mundo are the kind of guys you need for the main event scene to give Puma some serious competition as well as credibility. On top of that you have the continuing story of Black Lotus but I’m not sure where that’s going and I’m not sure if I care. That being said, it’s different enough to make me want to see where it goes and that’s the point of a wrestling story. Good show here and I had fun watching it, as always.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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