Thunder
Date: November 18, 1999
Location: Allen County War Memorial, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Attendance: 3,283
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Larry Zbyszko

We’re three days away from Mayhem and the interesting thing this week is can they keep up the wrestling on this show. Thunder has definitely become the wrestling show, with matches getting more time than Nitro gets most of the time, but with less star power and more bad interference. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Jerry Flynn vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Hardcore so Bigelow brings out some weapons but Flynn takes him away and nails Bigelow with a trashcan. Barbarian is out here with Flynn, despite Jerry beating him in an impromptu boiler room brawl Monday. Norman Smiley comes out but Hart sends Knobbs and Barbarian after him. Without noticing what’s going on outside, Bigelow takes Flynn down with a clothesline. Thankfully he didn’t ruin the mullet.

Time for the cookie sheet shots followed by the can lids crashing around Flynn’s head like cymbals. The flying headbutt misses though and Jerry hits something like a Van Daminator with the trashcan. Barbarian comes in like a schnook and gets beaten down, followed by a chair to Flynn to give Bigelow the three count.

Rating: D. There was nothing to this one other than Hart and Smiley shouting at each other a lot. That was the most entertaining part of the match, which is likely due to the idea of taking two entertaining guys and letting them entertain. This is different than Flynn who is there because he knows karate and Bigelow, who could be entertaining but not in a mess like this.

Disco can’t get anyone to give him action on a bet for a match tonight.

Bagwell is looking for Chris Benoit.

Disco Inferno vs. Prince Iaukea

Non-title and Iaukea has new gear. Not interesting gear of course but it’s new with some trunks and boots. Disco goes to the eyes to start but Iaukea smacks him in the back of the head. I’ll give WCW 1999 this much: their heels had great hair. After begging off, Disco sends him into the corner and takes over with all of his usual stuff. A clothesline and middle rope elbow get two each on the Prince.

Iaukea’s sunset flip doesn’t work and Disco stays on him with elbows and chokes, followed by a chinlock to keep the fans bored. Iaukea comes back with an even less interesting offense (the high spot is a dropkick) until Disco drops him with a DDT. Thankfully for a change, we get silly as a messenger brings Disco a package. Inside is…..a fish? Oh I get it: sleep with the fishes. The distraction lets Iaukea grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: F. Is it bad that I want to see where the fish story is going? I know it’s the mafia gambling stuff but it’s more entertaining than most other stuff going on with this promotion. What isn’t interesting however is the really dull wrestling in this match as neither guy knows how to keep an audience. Disco is nothing great but at least he has something unique with the dancing. Iaukea…..what in the world do they see in him to keep him on the payroll?

Post match, Disco hits Iaukea with the fish. Remember that he has a title defense three days from now.

Evan Karagias says he’s going to beat Savage for the love of his woman.

Van Hammer asks Curt Hennig to get counted out tonight and a fight breaks out. This story is one of the worst in the company and that covers a lot of ground.

Evan Karagias vs. The Maestro

The bubbles in Maestro’s entrance are always odd to see. Maestro grabs a quick headlock to start and nails a shoulder. Evan comes back with a cross body but rolls outside to kiss Madusa. The delay works for a bit but Maestro comes back by raising a boot in the corner. Some forearms and a belly to back suplex get two on Evan as this is just a step ahead of the previous match.

More uppercuts set up a German suplex but Evan flips over the back and gets two of his own off a snap suplex. Madusa has to play cheerleader despite looking about 20 years older than she really is here. A spinebuster puts Evan down but Madusa gets on the apron and kisses Maestro. Evan kicks him down and checks on Madusa (who didn’t seem to mind), allowing Maestro to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D-. Boring wrestling, uninteresting characters, Madusa being a focus for reasons not exactly clear and the #1 contender to the Cruiserweight Title losing about ten minutes after the champion lost. The wrestling on this show isn’t great, but the booking continues to be the real problem dragging this down. I guess they’re setting it up that Evan is distracted by Madusa, but when the champion loses earlier in the night and Evan has never really done anything, the story is a huge mess.

The Revolution talks about Torrie being a Barbie doll. Shane wants to see Asya rip her apart, sending Saturn into a rant about taking the limbs off a Barbie. Shane: “Perry, IT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH!” Saturn: “My point exactly!”

Disco is panicking on the phone with Tony Marinara.

Benoit heard that Bagwell is looking for him. He leaves a few seconds before Bagwell shows up.

Nitro recap video, complete with Sid’s half the brain line.

La Parka and Kaz Hayashi have another overdubbed interview with Hayashi sounding like he’s from rural Georgia. I think these predated Kaientai’s INDEED promos but they’re around the same time.

Buff and Benoit finally get together with Bagwell asking Benoit not to use the suplexes or the Crossface on the bad neck. Benoit says Buff knew what he was getting into and they brawl.

Kaz Hayashi/La Parka vs. El Dandy/Silver King

Kaz has his own chair and even the announcers have to mention the dubbed voices. Dandy gets flipped around while trying to backslide Kaz so it’s quickly off to La Parka vs. King. La Parka does his dance so King dropkicks him in the face and everything quickly breaks down. King and Dandy are headscissored to the floor and the fans are actually behind Kaz and Parka here. Dandy comes in and tries a right hand but hits his partner by mistake. After the calamity calms down, Kaz gets whipped into a gutbuster as we settle into a more standard formula.

A double slam gets two on Kaz but Dandy lets him walk over for the tag to La Parka. Things speed up with Silver coming in to help Dandy as the heels take over again. La Parka is sent to the floor so Kaz comes in, only to get tripped down a few seconds later. The heels screw up with King hitting Dandy, allowing Kaz to tag La Parka again. Everything breaks down with La Parka hitting a missile dropkick and Kaz adding a high cross body to King. La Parka’s kind of Whisper in the Wind is enough to pin King.

Rating: C-. This got messy in the middle but I like the idea of La Parka and Kaz being these guys who can barely speak English but suddenly have the dubbed voices. I’m fine with these decent nothing matches on Thunder though, as they’re clean enough to not make my head hurt and long enough to quality as a match instead of an angle. It doesn’t mean anything after the match ends but at least it was decent while it lasted.

La Parka chairs King post match.

Bagwell and Hennig get in a fight over something we don’t hear.

Curt Hennig vs. Van Hammer

Larry goes on a rant against the term “Powers That Be”. I kind of agree as WCW has announced that they’re Russo and Ferrara so why not just go with that? Curt knees Hammer on the way in but gets thrown outside for a brawl. To keep up the stupidity of this show, we see a sign saying “I’m only here for the Nitro Girls.” Maybe Russo is on to something about the fans being morons. Back in and Hennig starts in on the leg as Bagwell strolls out to follow up on a five minute old angle. All the oil on Buff’s arms distracts Hennig so Hammer can get in a cheap shot and snap his throat across the top rope.

Curt goes after Buff but catches Hammer trying to jump him from behind with a kick to the ribs. Back in and Hennig slams Hammer’s head against the mat as Buff plays cheerleader for Hammer. Apparently it works as Hammer comes back with a knee in the corner followed by a DDT, only to miss a middle rope flip dive. Curt is sent outside for a brawl with Bagwell, only to have Benoit come out and get sent into the barricade. Back up and Hammer is accidentally whipped into Buff, allowing Curt to hit the HennigPlex for the pin.

Rating: D-. I need a minute here. Let’s try to figure this out. So the Powers That Be want to get rid of Hennig by saying he’s gone as soon as he gets pinned, because a submission isn’t good enough for them for whatever reason. At the same time, they want to screw with Bagwell by making him job all the time because wrestling is scripted, but Bagwell wants to rebel and win his REAL matches.

Now he’s screwing with Hennig to get rid of him, presumably as a favor to the Powers That Be to get them off Bagwell’s back? At the same time, Benoit is involved despite being in the final four of the World Title tournament because they have nothing better to do with him tonight and there’s NO ONE else they could throw into this mess? The fact that I had to write out two paragraphs to understand this story, ignoring the fact that it completely exposes the business, sums up Russo’s booking in a nutshell: A stupid midcard feud took that long to understand and I don’t even care now that I’ve figured it out.

Luger works out as Chavo sells Liz Amway jewelery. THIS story gets to continue but we’re not likely to hear any more about La Parka and Kaz.

Lash Leroux vs. Kenny Kaos

Leroux takes him down to start but Kaos kicks him in the ribs and scores with a butterfly suplex. After a middle rope legdrop gets two, Lash botches a flip over the back but takes over anyway. Why let something like a big mishap screw up your quick match right? Kaos comes back with a boot to the face and a bunch of kicks and punches in the corner.

A gutwrench suplex gets two for Kaos but Lash comes back with a Russian legsweep and stomps of his own. Kaos is sent outside but Lash baseball slides into his leg to really take over. The leg is fine enough to catch a diving Cajun though and drive him back first into the barricade. So he’s generic and doesn’t sell. Back in and Lash escapes a slam and hits Whiplash for the pin.

Rating: D. In the old days, this would be filler on Saturday Night but now it’s one of the later shows on Thunder. It really is apparent that no one cared about this show and they were clearly just filling in time. Again, I’d love to know what someone was high on when they picked Kaos to be a champion a year ago. That stuff could make me a fortune on the streets.

The Animals brag about Torrie being a martial arts expert. I smell an unfunny comedy bit coming up.

Vampiro wraps a chain around his hand.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Barbarian

Chavo comes out with his order forms for Barbarian, but Barbarian hits him in the back with the briefcase, setting up the Kick of Fear for the pin at 8 seconds.

Post match, Barbarian says he’ll pay Chavo later. Well, at least it’s something for Chavo to do. Stupid yes but something.

Tournament recap.

Liz and Luger watch Meng from a monitor.

Meng vs. Vampiro

Vampiro gets taken down by the hair to start, which you would expect to have been the other way around. Meng loses a kick-off but Vampiro stupidly tries a headbutt. Well no one ever accused him of being smart. Now Meng headbutts the buckle but doesn’t seem to phase it. A bunch of chops stagger Vampiro and Meng nails a decent dropkick. I remember Jesse Ventura freaking out when Haku hit those and I can’t say I disagree.

Vampiro gets piledriven and sent to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Back inside and Meng is finally put down by a top rope spinwheel kick. That’s the extent of Vampiro’s offense though as his hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb. Jerry Only of the Misfits comes in and takes the Tongan Death Grip and that’s the match, presumably for a no contest.

Rating: D+. Meng is one of those guys that is kind of fun to watch, just due to him no selling almost everything and hurting as many people as he did. Unfortunately he’s being set up with Luger, which is about as dull of a program as you can have. The ending here did nothing for anyone, but that really shouldn’t be surprising.

Liz comes out to apologize to Meng and the monster is nice enough to stop lunging at her with the Death Grip as Luger is late with his cue. He finally shows up and chairs Meng down before crushing his knees with the chair.

Chris Benoit vs. Buff Bagwell

Ever the genius, Buff tries to slide under the ropes and gets stomped down. Chris takes over with a dropkick and a knee to the ribs but gets dropped ribs first onto the top rope. They head outside with Buff dropping Benoit’s throat across the barricade before stomping away. Back inside and Buff keeps up the stomping motif as this is actually one of the more entertaining matches of the night due to the charisma both guys have. Buff wasn’t much in the ring but he had some energy to him.

A neckbreaker sets up a chinlock on Chris as I guess Buff is a heel all of a sudden. They trade punches and chops in the corner before Benoit takes it to the floor to give Bagwell the beating he deserves. Back in and Benoit hits the snap suplex and puts on a surfboard before “accidentally” kicking Buff low. They head outside again with Buff getting whipped into the barricade but Benoit makes the same mistake Buff made at the start and lets Bagwell get in some shops as he comes in.

Buff hammers away but has to grab the ropes to block a German suplex. That’s fine with Benoit as he plows through Buff with a clothesline, only to miss the Swan Dive. Buff goes up for the Blockbuster but here’s Hennig to break it up, allowing Benoit to slap on the Crossface for the win.

Rating: C+. So to recap, Benoit has gotten two of the longest matches of the Russo Era and has put in two of the best performances to date. Aside from Benoit being awesome, a lot of it goes to show that when you give the guys a chance to show what they can do, you more often than not get a good match. You can’t do anything with two minutes and three plot devices at a time.

Benoit stares at Hennig and leaves, allowing Curt and Buff to brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. They had something here with the self contained story of Bagwell/Benoit/Hennig ending with a match but I can’t imagine this is going to be a recurring theme. Other than that though, this was your usual disaster with nonsensical ideas and booking decisions that seem to be more there for the amusement of Russo and Ferrara than anything else. I have no desire to see Mayhem more than I did two hours ago though, so the show was a waste of time.

No show next week due to Thanksgiving.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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The documentary about WWE music.

This is one of the shows in the series that I had been really looking forward to watching and it was actually far better than I was expecting. It’s another countdown format but with WWE music king Jim Johnston hosting (kind of) and talking about each song. As someone with as much musical talent as a Coke machine, it’s fascinating to see someone who has put together this many different kinds of songs and made a lot of really catchy stuff. I mean, the guy made songs for everyone from Fandango to Undertaker to Orton and a lot of points in between.

If nothing else, it’s awesome to see someone pick up a guitar or sit down at a piano and make WWE songs come out. You can tell this guy is really, really good at what he does and it’s clear that he knows exactly what he’s talking about when he breaks down the process of the songs and what was going through his head when he put them together. The countdown has some rather questionable picks for a top 25 (Prime Time Players? No DiBiase?) and the worst part about this it’s only a little over 50 minutes long. This really could have done better without so many comments from wrestlers and a lot more from Johnston as he literally wrote about 90% of WWE music over the years.

Assuming he didn’t request it, this somehow got him a job writing soundtracks for WWE Films. Anyway, it’s really cool to see something like this instead of the 19^th rehashing of the Monday Night Wars or the career of someone we’ve covered to death. I’d love to see more behind the scenes stuff like this as the entrance music is something taken for granted a lot of the time, but it really can push someone over the top. Check this out if it’s something you even only kind of care about as it’s really interesting and less than an hour total.

Make me an offer.  I’ll take the first reasonable one I get.

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 10, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Josh Matthews

This is an interesting time for TNA as they have a bunch of potential challengers for Kurt Angle’s World Title but it seems that Lashley has the most valid claim to a shot. Last week Angle pinned Lashley but the replay showed that Lashley’s shoulder was up. Other than that we have Drew Galloway’s Rising ready to deal with MVP’s Beat Down Clan. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Galloway debuting a few weeks back to try and take back wrestling from the Beat Down Clan. He now has his friends in the Rising to help in his battle.

Tonight, fan Tweets will be airing on screen. This is apparently interesting for reasons that I don’t really understand but WWE does it so it’s a good idea right?

Here’s Kurt Angle to address the end of last week’s show. There’s been a lot of buzz over the match with Lashley so he’d like Lashley out here right now. We look at the tape of Lashley’s shoulder being up and the fans want a rematch. Angle says he won’t back down from a title defense because he knows he can beat Lashley again. They’re ready to fight tonight but Eric Young comes out to crank up the suck.

Eric says he’s #1 contender and the rankings say so. He’s a main event champion and Angle is holding his belt. The fans don’t seem to agree but Young grabs Lashley’s face. Angle goes for Young but Lashley spears the champ down by mistake. Oh the drama. Maybe we can see Eric Young get in a match way over his head again but get to see him survive because he’s Eric Young and has been around forever and for some reason that makes him interesting. I mean, he’s not tall like Big Show but he has been around a long time.

Post break, Angle is still in the ring and says he’ll fight Lashley and Young tonight at the same time.

Video on the history of Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim.

Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

#1 contenders match. They go nose to nose until Gail gets launched across the ring by the hair. Back up and Kin gets in a few unsold shots before being tossed right back down. As the match goes on, I get THRILLING Tweets of fans saying they like the match and that they’re watching the show. You can’t buy journalism like this people. Gail fights up from a camel clutch but runs into a hard clothesline. King rips the turnbuckle pad off and sends Gail outside, only to get dropkicked into the barricade.

Back in and Gail fires off forearms to the chest before getting two off a spinning cross body. Kong misses a charge into the exposed buckle to give Gail two as we get a Tweet from Jim Ross about how good Gail is. See, that’s the kind of thing we need live commentary to point out. Eat Defeat gets another near fall but Kong just grabs her by the throat and sets Kim on the top rope. Gail dives again and goes right into the Awesome Bomb for the pin at 7:18.

Rating: C. This is one of those old, storied feuds in TNA that was indeed cool ten years ago or however long it was, but now it’s more like “hey, I remember when they had matches back then.” Thankfully they didn’t play that up too strong here and it was really just a step above a Kong squash. Taryn vs. Kong could be good if they book it right.

We immediately cut to James Storm and Mickie James. Mickie thanks him for the save last week but that’s just how southerners are raised. This is more like the old Storm. She goes to leave but he asks for a hug. Manik comes up and asks what was up with that but Storm goes back into Revolution mode and tells Manik to never question his motives. He orders Manik to round up the team for a fight. That transition from Kong to Storm was way too fast and something TNA needs to work on. It’s ok to stay on the winner more than two seconds before you get to your next thing.

Back from a break with the Revolution in the ring and Storm sitting in a chair. He’s brought them out here to make things very clear: this is about a revolution, not for him to take care of them. Each and every one of the men in this ring failed him, which is why Sanada is gone. Storm yells at Khoya, saying he brought him out of that horrible country but now Khoya has failed him.

There’s always room for one more, but now there can always be room for one less. He’s going to win this Tag Team Title tournament and one of them is going to be his partner. The fans chant for Manik, but Storm makes a three way to determine who gets the spot. A referee comes out and Storm insists that there must be a winner.

Abyss vs. Khoya vs. Manik

Abyss cleans house but Manik hits him with a chair, which seems to be legal. Khoya picks up a stick that Storm left in the ring but Abyss knocks him into the corner. Apparently the title match is next week in Ultimate X. That’s rather sudden but that’s life in TNA. Manik counters a chokeslam into a standing cross armbreaker (Six Second Magic for you No Mercy fans out there) but Khoya comes in for the save. A Sky High to Manik is enough to get Khoya the spot in the tournament at 2:50.

We go back to James Storm’s barn with the ghost hunters from last week. The results are inconclusive.

Here’s the Rising for a chat. Drew really does fit in this role. He’s so awesome that he can cut a promo and have his LIVE Tweet show up on screen at the same time. Drew says he’d give us the shirt off his back and that’s exactly what he does. He started the Stand Up campaign to bring wrestling back where it belongs and the fans are part of the Rising with them. Drew hands the microphone off for the official introductions.

First up we have Micah, formerly known as Camacho. The BDC is a bunch of bullies and it’s time to punch them right in the mouth. The other member is Eli Drake (you might know him as Shaun Ricker) and he talks about how they’re definitely not Superstars, but professional wrestlers. Drew throws down the gauntlet and here’s the BDC to answer. King thinks they’re rising like a yeast infection and MVP accepts the challenge. Drew counts down from three to one and the brawl is on in the aisle as we go to a break. Drake and Micah are just warm bodies but they were fine here.

Rising vs. Beat Down Clan

This would be the second match made by the wrestlers in the first hour. King grabs a headlock on Drake to start but gets caught in a powerslam. It’s quickly off to Micah vs. MVP with the BDC taking over and stomping away in the corner. MVP comes back in and puts on a chinlock before kicking Micah in the face for two. Micah scores with a Samoan drop and Drew gets the hot tag to clean house. Everything breaks down with the Rising clearing the ring, leaving Micah to dive onto all three of them. Drew and Drake pose but a masked man in BDC gear sneaks in with what looked like a pipe for the DQ at 6:52.

Rating: D+. This match was watchable but I’m really not seeing why I should care. Rising is a bunch of newcomers and Drew stands out, but I’m not really sure why these teams need to fight. The BDC hasn’t actually won anything other than the X Title once or twice. Do we really need a stable to fight against them?

The masked man is Homicide. Oh…..great.

Angle says he’s ready to prove himself again when Eric Young jumps him. After a break, Angle insists he’s fighting tonight.

DJZ vs. Davey Richards

Feeling out process to start with both guys flying around a bit until Davey dropkicks him out to the floor. Davey kicks him in the face from the apron but DJZ comes back with some shots of his own back inside. That’s fine with Davey as he wins a slugout and sends DJZ to the floor for a suicide dive. Back in again and a running kick gets two for Davey but he misses the top rope stomp. Instead he throws DJZ up in the air for the kick to the chest, setting up a spinning kick to the head (Creeping Death) for the pin at 5:32.

Rating: C. Well that happened. I guess they’re setting up the tag tournament next week but it was announced as the X-Division match of the night. The match was entertaining enough but having matches for the sake of having a match isn’t the best way to get my interest up. Still though, watchable.

Homicide says the BDC is familia. MVP says they’re the Beat Down Clan and they do what they do because they can. I’ve heard worse catchphrases.

We see some girls playing with dolls. The Dollhouse is coming soon. The girls appeared to be Marti Belle and Mia Yim.

Here are the Hardys to celebrate beating James Storm last week. Next on their list is winning the Tag Team Champions for the first time in TNA. This brings out Ethan Carter III and Tyrus to remind us that Ethan is undefeated for nineteen months, but somehow he hasn’t gotten his title shot. He’s entering the tournament to get a Tag Team Title, but he needs a partner. He wants someone who can hurt people and that man is…..Bram. Now that’s interesting. Bram comes out and says he hates everyone, but he’ll team up with Carter because he hates him the least.

This brings out Anderson, who asks if Carter just said he and Bram are the odds on favorites. Carter: “Yup.” Anderson: “Huh?” “Yeah.” “Huh?” “I do.” “Huh?” “Indeed.” This goes on for about ten more seconds because Carter is rather entertaining on the mic. Anderson’s partner is Spud and they have a quick argument over Spud grabbing Anderson’s microphone. The two of them head to the ring but Austin Aries comes out, talks about loving gold, and announces Roode as his partner.

A preview for next week shows that we have four qualifying matches and the winners going to an Ultimate X match for the Tag Team Titles. It also shows the four teams in the Ultimate X match because these previews aren’t thought out in advance.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young vs. Lashley

Angle is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Young hides on the floor to start and lets the suplex machines fight, but they quickly get together and beat Young back and forth. Lashley plays Bret on a Hart Attack and Young gets beaten up on the floor as we take a break. Back with Angle busting out the suplexes on both guys and clotheslining Lashley to the floor. Kurt ducks his head and eats a piledriver but Lashley makes the save and throws Eric outside.

The running powerslam gets two on the champ and a big spear gets the same with Young making the save. Lashley tweaks his ankle on a leapfrog but is still able to low bridge Eric to the floor due to Eric sucking so much. Both challengers get rolling Germans but Young breaks up the ankle lock (it lasts about 20 seconds, which Josh timed as three minutes) and puts Lashley in the Figure Four. Lashley makes the rope so Eric wedges a chair in the corner, only to get caught in the delayed vertical. The spear hits the chair though and Angle Slams both guys, setting up the moonsault onto Lashley’s bad leg for the pin at 13:43.

Rating: B-. So now we get Angle vs. Young because Young will be CRAZY while saying he never got beat right? You know, because we absolutely, totally and completely need Eric Young in our lives and main events. He’s been around for years you know. The match was decent enough, as long as Young was kept reined in.

Post match Angle leaves so Young goes after Bobby’s leg with the chair and puts on another figure four.

Overall Rating: C+. Decent enough show that set up the tournament next week, but the wrestling outside of the main event was only so good. The stories don’t have the same heat they did a few weeks back, but at least we’ve still got enough good stuff to keep things going. I would however appreciate a top heel instead of a bunch of mid level ones running around. Angle seems to be a transitional champion and that’s the right kind of reign for him at the moment, hopefully with Carter rising up to the top spot soon enough.

Results

Awesome Kong b. Gail Kim – Awesome Bomb

Khoya b. Abyss and Manik – Sky High to Manik

Rising b. Beat Down Clan via DQ when Homicide interfered

Davey Richards b. DJZ – Creeping Death

Kurt Angle b. Lashley and Eric Young – Moonsault to Lashley

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 3, 2003
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the week after Rock showed why he’s one of the best of all time and now it’s time for a showdown with Steve Austin. While Steve might not be the star he once was, those two around Wrestlemania time never gets old. On top of that, we’ll get an update on HHH vs. Booker T. at the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

We open with Bischoff in the back with Rico and 3 Minute Warning. They’re instructed to keep Austin out of the building tonight. Why do the evil authority figures hire such lame help?

Here’s Booker T. to get things going. Last week he won the battle royal to go to Wrestlemania but here are Flair HHH to interrupt before he can get a minute in. HHH thinks Booker is a bit confused. Yeah Booker is going to Wrestlemania, but someone “like you” doesn’t get to be a World Champion. That’s reserved for people like HHH because Booker is here to entertain instead of compete. HHH asks for a little dance because people like Booker, “with your nappy hair and your SUCKAS” are very good at entertaining. The idea of Booker challenging HHH for the title makes the champ laugh.

Yeah Booker was a five time WCW World Champion but that title is a joke. That was back during the time when David Arquette and Vince Russo were World Champion, meaning Booker championshipped that place right into the ground. Booker wants to go to Wrestlemania to face the best in the world and he’ll do what people like him always do: lose. Booker finally gets to talk and says somebody like him is going to take that title at Wrestlemania. HHH: “Well good luck brother.” HHH reminds Booker that he has Scott Steiner tonight and would be surprised if Booker makes it to Wrestlemania.

Allow me to pause and say WOW. I remember watching this back in the day and feeling uncomfortable with it, but this is mind blowing stuff now. I mean…..HHH just basically said a black man can’t win the title. Yeah later on they would change it to HHH meaning an ex-convict, but there is NO spinning what he was going with here. It was flat out “Booker, you’re black” without actually saying it and I can’t believe they didn’t bail on it by the end of the show.

Jeff Hardy vs. Christian

Fallout from Jeff’s failed save attempt last week. Jeff jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner before jumping to the floor and pulling Christian face first onto the apron. A top rope dive puts Christian down again as Lawler talks about Hardy being frustrated lately. What appears to be a moonsault is broken up as Hardy gets crotched on top for two and the fans go mild. We hit the abdominal stretch as JR gets in a Wilbur Snyder reference. That goes as far as most abdominal stretches go so Jeff comes back with the Whisper in the Wind for two. The Twist misses though and the Unprettier is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad but these two know each other so well that they can have a passable match in their sleep. They were pushing Hardy’s impending heel turn which was an interesting way to go with him, but the fans weren’t quite ready to boo him yet. Christian was starting to rise up the card at this point, which is a good sign as the tag teams were long past done.

In case Austin gets past 3 Minute Warning, Lance Storm is ready for him next.

Chief Morely vs. Spike Dudley

This is the perk of having a minion like Spike around. If he wins here, the Dudleys are unsuspended. Spike jumps him to start and stomps away in the corner, but amazingly enough a guy the size of a Diva with some meat on her bones isn’t enough to stop Morely. The Dudley Dog is countered into a kind of powerbomb for two before stomping away with some force in the corner. See Spike, that’s how it’s done. A suplex and the Money Shot end Spike in a hurry.

Eric wants Christian and Jericho to help guard him against Austin. Why don’t evil bosses ever SEND ALL THE LACKEYS AT ONCE? If there was even an evil guy with a brain, the villains would win every time.

Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs. Jazz/Victoria

The heels argue over who starts and Trish bulldogs both of them down at once. Jackie and Jazz get things going but Victoria offers a trip, allowing Jazz to take over with a dropkick. A sitout powerslam gets two for Jazz but Victoria kicks Jazz by mistake. Again, GET SMARTER VILLAINS. Victoria comes in for two off a snap suplex but Jackie slips out of a slam and tags in Trish. Everything breaks down and Victoria breaks up the Stratusphere, only to get rolled up for the pin a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but they set up the Wrestlemania title match well enough. Trish was really starting to figure out how to be the superhero of the division but it’s really distracting with King freaking out that her top is so low cut. Victoria was awesome at this point too and I really want them to just get to the showdown between Victoria and Trish and cut out Jazz and Jackie.

Morely is going to help Storm against Austin.

Coach knocks on Rock’s door (why did it take this long to get to Rock? Why is anyone else on this show?) for an interview. First words from Rock: “Coach, are you on crack?” Rock thinks they might be able to do this Wednesday and sends Coach off with instructions to wash up. The camera follows Rock into his dressing room and sees him get annoyed as the fans boo. He looks for his guitar to soothe his soul but finds Hurricane instead.

After being confused for a second after FINDING HURRICANE SITTING IN HIS LOCKER, Rock asks the obvious question: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN THERE??? Hurricane might have seen him walking around without any clothes on. Rock brings up eliminating Hurricane last week and asks about Ronald McDonald and pals. Apparently Rock was screaming something in Hurricane’s ear last week, but Hurricane only heard Rock screaming when Booker threw him out.

That’s just a mistake though because Rock tripped. Fans: “BOO!” Rock: “THE ROCK SAID THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED!!!” Rock goes into a rant about how Hurricane is nothing but his phone goes off in his pocket. Rock: “Excuse the Rock one second. Oh hey buddy.” After hanging up: “It’s nothing! He says he knows you!” Rock gets even better when he sees that Hurricane has braces. Is he going to go sell band candy after the show? Last week, Rock was saying his lines from Scorpion King, which was in I think Arabic.

Rock asks if Hurricane knows what the line means. Hurricane: “If it’s what I saw from behind that curtain, it means that the Scorpion King has a tiny ding-a-ling.” Rock: “WHAT????? AND STOP LAUGHING!!!” We finally get to the point of this: Hurricane thinks Rock is scared of Austin and has had Bischoff sending the goons after him. Hurricane leaves and Rock tells his crotch that it’s the king.

Sweet merciful goodness the Rock is on fire right now, but there’s one thing more important than all others here: he’s having these segments with Hurricane. Not HHH, not Austin, not Undertaker and not Hogan. He’s doing this with someone who has never gotten a break and is just kind of there.

Rock isn’t losing a thing with these segments and is going to have the real main event at Wrestlemania XIX. In other words, he’s giving someone a rub because it’s not going to hurt him and we get an entertaining segment as a result. Why can’t more big names do that? Ah yes, because they’re too busy telling their World Title opponents to dance.

Here’s Chris Jericho for a match with Test, but of course he has something to say. Jericho wants to apologize to Stacy for hitting her in the face with a steel chair a few weeks ago, but he’d rather apologize for her hooking up with a lying cheater like Test. Jericho shows us a clip of Test signing a girl’s chest, which leads to Stacy freaking out. Of course this leads to a plug for the Girls Gone Wild pay per view, but Test charges the ring as Jericho thinks it’s going to be a countout.

Test vs. Chris Jericho

Test goes right for him as Christian follows Stacy out to the ring. That earns Christian a clothesline from Test and a toss over the barricade for some Canadian violence. Back in and a tilt-a-whirl slam plants Chris as this is all Test so far. Since he’s Test though, Jericho quickly counters into a Walls attempt but Test kicks him off. A quick powerbomb drops Jericho but he distracts the referee so Christian can come in with a cheap shot to Test for two. Test plants Jericho with a full nelson slam but has to kick Christian off the apron, allowing Jericho to hit him low and hit the Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) for the pin.

Rating: D. This seems like the blowoff to the singles feud as Test either needs to get a partner or they need to split something off into another singles feud. Jericho and Christian were a good team but this was an awkward time for Jericho as he was main eventing Wrestlemania last year but a year later he’s in a midcard tag team.

Post match Jericho and Christian give Test a Conchairto to really knock him out of the story but Shawn Michaels comes out to save Stacy. That earns him a chair to the face as Jericho means business. We actually get some blood to really make the Wrestlemania match clear. Jericho makes it even clearer by holding up the chair but says he wants to end Shawn’s career at Wrestlemania.

Goldust arrives (an hour and ten minutes into the show) and freaks out 3 Minute Warning.

Christopher Nowitski wants to help fight Austin but gets a surprise 3D for his efforts.

Scott Steiner vs. Booker T.

They slug it out to start with Steiner getting the better of it until Booker nails the flying forearm. He’s still no Tito Santana. The ax kick misses so Steiner nails the Namesake Line and a belly to belly. It seems that Steiner has morphed into a heel in the span of a week. The elbow into the push-ups gets two but Booker comes back with a running elbow.

The side kick out of the corner looks to set up the Spinarooni but Steiner plows over him because Booker is kneeling in the middle of the ring with his back to his opponent. Cue HHH and Flair as Steiner is bleeding from the eye. That goes nowhere so Booker botches the sunset flip out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: D. My goodness how did Steiner convince anyone to keep him around after those HHH matches and then this one? They’ve managed to make Booker look horrible because he can’t carry Steiner (who could at this point?), after making him look like a fool because HHH is doing a racism angle for reasons I still don’t comprehend.

Rock is singing about how a big star like him has to deal with being in Long Island when Bischoff comes in. That’s not cool with the Rock as he yells at Bischoff for sending all the goons to stop Austin. If there’s anything left of Austin, Bischoff can make some rattlesnake dip out of him, but Rock will walk back to Smackdown if anyone goes after Austin.

Al Snow/Tommy Dreamer vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

Hardcore of course. It’s a brawl on the floor to start until Rob slides in and dives out onto Snow. Dreamer brings in the first cane because he doesn’t know how to wrestle a regular match. It’s Kane coming off the top this time with the flying clothesline to knock Dreamer silly, only to have the ECW guys come back with trashcan shots. This goes as well as you would expect as Kane chokeslams both guys down, setting up a Five Star to pin Dreamer in a short match. Apparently this was punishment from Morely. It’s punishment to face a couple of lower card guys?

Austin fails to run over all the lackeys with his truck so Bischoff yells at them. That’s a surprising result.

Here’s Austin in the arena for a pretty weak reaction. The interest just wasn’t there at this point. He isn’t sure what to talk about first, but before he gets into anything else he needs to thank the fans for sticking with him after he left. Then he got tired of sitting at the house and now he’s back and ready to beat up anyone in that locker room. This brings Hollywood Rock out to the stage, complete with an open bottle of water.

Rock is glad to see him back but gives Austin some advice: as soon as you become successful, these people will turn on you. Rock isn’t here to talk to the people though because he has something to say to Austin. There’s one thing Rock needs to do in his career and that’s beat Austin at Wrestlemania. How about it? It one corner the baddest man in wrestling, the man who revolutionized Monday night and the biggest star in this industry. Then in the other corner, Steve Austin.

Before he can answer though, here’s Bischoff to offer make Rock vs. Booker T. next week. If Rock wins, he can have his choice of Austin or HHH at Wrestlemania. HUH? Why in the world are we talking about HHH now? Booker vs. HHH is set and Austin vs. Rock III needs to happen. Instead, here’s 3 Minute Warning to get beaten down as you would expect them to. Austin turns around and sees Rock face to face. Rock teases leaving but comes up swinging, only to run away from an attempted Stunner to end the show. That’s it?

Overall Rating: D+. What the heck was that ending? We’ve spent all night setting up Rock and Austin’s showdown and get a culmination of the Bischoff stuff which was already blown off back at No Way Out? This was a mess all around though as the build isn’t working for the most part. We’re getting to the big matches, but HHH has already cut Booker’s legs off and now they’re postponing the announcement of Rock vs. Austin for another week for no adequate reason. The wrestling was mostly horrible here but that’s nothing out of the ordinary.

If nothing else though, it’s amazing how much easier these shows are to sit through than the three hour versions. No these aren’t great episodes, but they don’t have time to drive you crazy or to wear me out. I can live with short matches and some questionable endings as long as the show just doesn’t drone on and on. This show would be fine if they just let Austin and Rock talk all night, but Booker needs to get something back on HHH next week after that mess to open the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Lucha Underground
Date: April 8, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

The tournament continues tonight as we try to find the first Trios Tag Team Champions. I get the idea behind doing this instead of having a regular set of Tag Team Titles but it’s not really winning me over just yet. If nothing else, it doesn’t help that the matches usually break down into insanity too quickly, though that can be said about a lot of things on this show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s tournament match and Prince Puma successfully defending his title against Cage.

Konnan and Puma are in Cuerno’s office. The boss wants Puma in the tournament to make it mean more, so he needs to get some partners because next week he’s facing King Cuerno and two partners who will be ringside tonight for Cuerno’s title shot.

Trios Tag Team Titles Tournament First Round: Son of Havok/Ivelisse/Angelico vs. Aero Star/Fenix/Drago

Well that’s different. Fenix and Angelico slap hands to start but Fenix counters a monkey flip with a double stomp to the back to take over early. Off to Ivelisse who gets thrown into Angelico, only to have him flip her over to the apron and come in instead. Fenix kicks Angelico in the face and it’s off to Drago for a DDT as Vampiro goes into fanboy mode. Now we get to the problems as Fenix goes to the middle rope and Star climbs onto his shoulders for an elbow, but Drago wants the pin.

Off to Havok vs. Star with the fans behind the former as he gets two off a standing shooting star press. Ivelisse comes in off a slap but Angelico tags himself in and gets spun around by Star, allowing Drago to come in for a tornado DDT. Angelico is sent to the floor so Fenix can launch Drago onto him, but Fenix’s corkscrew dive hits his partner by mistake. Back in and Ivelisse hits a running DDT (Think Dolph Ziggler) to stun Fenix before Havok hits a flip dive on Drago.

Fenix dives on everyone so Ivelisse dives on everyone not named Fenix (he only got a rope kicked between his legs). Fenix walks the ropes to drop an elbow on Angelico, leaving Drago to kick Havok back inside. That’s fine with Havok as he springboards off the ropes into a double back elbow to Drago and Star. Ivelisse short arms Havok on a tag attempt and walks out, so Havok kicks Drago in the head and hits the shooting star to advance to the finals.

Rating: B-. This fits into the category of a match that isn’t really good from a quality standpoint but man alive was it fun. They were flying all over the place and hitting dive after dive, which is all you need for something like this. It doesn’t hurt that Ivelisse looks great and can back it up in the ring. Fun stuff here.

Konnan has found Puma a partner with Hernandez. Johnny Mundo pops up and says Puma already asked him to be his partner because he wants a piece of Cuerno. Konnan isn’t pleased.

Sexy Star vs. Super Fly

This is mask vs. mask, which really should be a bigger deal than it is here. Cueto set this up because Star saved Fly from having his arm broken and Cueto is kind of a jerk. Star works on a wristlock to start before they fight over a top wristlock. They hit the mat and come up in a standoff before Fly just pops her in the face to take over. Back up and Star kicks him in the ribs and nails an X-Factor (modified version of an old Konnan sequence) but Fly slaps her in the face again.

A middle rope hurricanrana drops Fly to the floor and Star hits a big dive for good measure. Striker is doing play by play a mile a minute here, which is FAR easier to sit through than his fanboy stuff. Back in and a Codebreaker gets two for Star but she grabs a running DDT for the same. Fly powerbombs her down and goes up for a moonsault but Star rolls away and grabs La Majistral for the pin.

Rating: D. Uh….what the heck was that? They set up a lucha de apuesta and blow it off in the span of eight minutes? That’s totally out of character for this promotion and I’m really surprised they did this. I know it’s because Super Fly recently lost his mask in Mexico and they had to get rid of it here too, but they could have built this up for weeks given their taping schedule. One good note here: Star looked like a wrestler who happened to be a woman. That’s a good sign.

Post break, Fly kneels so Star can unmask him in a pretty emotional moment. Pentagon Jr. comes in and snaps his arm.

Lucha Underground Title: Prince Puma vs. King Cuerno

So is Cuerno Puma’s father or are they from different countries? The champ has Hernandez, Konnan and Mundo in his corner but Cuerno’s partners are revealed to be Cage and Texano. Feeling out process to start with both guys grabbing wristlocks but Cuerno bails to the floor. Puma dives on the partners but they throw him to Cuerno for a neckbreaker. Mundo and Hernandez come over for a save but the sandpaper snake stops them.

We get a….oh you don’t know what Striker means when he mentions a sandpaper snake? It’s Texano’s bullrops. How did you not get that connection? Back in and Cuerno stomps away before kicking Puma hard in the ribs. Texano gets in some cheap shots on Puma’s leg as the referees around here continue to be kind of worthless. Puma comes back with a Superman Punch but eats an enziguri from the apron.

A big flip dive over the top takes Cuerno down (why he was on the floor isn’t shown as we were looking at the commentators) and Mundo follows with a flip pf his own. Striker: “Arguably the best athlete on the planet!” WHAT PLANET IS HE TALKING ABOUT???? Mundo is good but dude, come on. Back in and Puma gets two off something like a Blue Thunder Bomb but misses a springboard 450. Cuerno rolls some Germans for two but the partners get up on the apron for some cheap shots but Puma wants Hernandez to get down (Puma didn’t see Hernandez interfere). The 630 retains Puma’s title.

Rating: C. Uh…why was the title on the line here? Tell me, what does this add to this match? Cuerno lost his last match against Mundo in the cage but for some reason he gets a title match here? That’s the kind of bad logic that Lucha Underground usually avoids but this felt like throwing a title match on the show so they could say we have a title match tonight. The wrestling was your standard fare here but I never got into it with all the other moving parts at ringside.

Hernandez tries to raise Puma’s hand but the champ doesn’t want his praise. Everything breaks down into a big brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. They’re entitled to a misfire every now and then. The problem with this show was the lack of patience and wanting to just hotshot everything at once. Instead of letting something build up over a few weeks, they announced a mask vs. mask match and a title match on one show. That’s the kind of low level mistake that you don’t expect from these guys and I hope it’s not something that continues in the future. Not much to this week but it’s hard to get too upset in 45 minutes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Because it’s not real you see.

It’s another day and another story of a “mainstream” sports writer deciding that professional wrestling is “rasslin” and something not worthy of coverage on ESPN or CBS. In this case it’s Michael Bradley of the National Sports Journalism Center at Indiana University.

The gist of the opening of his piece is basically saying that wrestling is being used to fill in space on a 24/7 sports station and how it’s the price we pay. This leads to saying it started with ESPN “breaking” (his quotation marks) the story that Brock Lesnar wasn’t returning to the UFC. This is the first red flag I see. Why is this not a breaking story? Mixed martial arts is certainly a mainstream sport, but for some reason a former World Champion opting not to return isn’t a story.

I wonder if say, Tom Crean not returning to coach the Hoosiers’ basketball team would be considered mainstream enough. As I’m writing this, the first four articles on their website are all about college basketball, followed by the article on the mainstream coverage of Wrestlemania. I don’t see anything about Major League Baseball or the upcoming NFL Draft, but it seems that college basketball is important enough to cover, in addition to the Indy Racing League. Mixed martial arts apparently isn’t worthy of a breaking news story though. Good to know.

Then the ESPN commentators talked about Wrestlemania and their Twitter and Facebook feeds were used to discuss the results of the show. So now it’s not ok to dedicate part of an unlimited space to talk about the results of a show that runs four hours of a year. By the way, on the group’s Facebook page: an article on football analyst Lee Corso, led by a discussion of how often he gargles to keep his throat strong. Back and forth, hand to hand combat with former collegiate athletes: not ok, but football analysts gargling: ok. Again, good to know.

Now we’ll get to the point of this: apparently Bradley doesn’t care for the idea of mixing fake results with real results, because it might confuse the fans. Apparently this could lead to breaking down sports films or discussing TV, which is totally different than airing dramatic films on ESPN (which they’ve done) or Harlem Globetrotters games (which they air from time to time and Bradley says would be the next horrible step) or anything besides hard hitting journalism at the Entertainment and Sports Programing Network.

Then we get to the big line at the end: “It’s fun to talk about Lesnar and his fellow rasslers, but it’s not journalism.” That word of “rasslers” tells me everything I need to know here. That one word makes Bradley come off as just another writer who seems to have no idea of how wrestling works and sees himself as a defender of REAL athletics who has no idea what wrestling is all about. Yes, the results are fake and it’s been a known factor for years. For some reason, this means it’s completely ridiculous to cover.

There was an excellent ad campaign from the WWF back in 1998 with a lot of the roster talking about their mainstream athletic backgrounds such as Ron Simmons, who has since gone into the College Football Hall of Fame and Ken Shamrock, who was a UFC Champion (oh wait that’s not worthy of a mention. I wasn’t sure if I was wrong about the site’s coverage of UFC but their last story involving them was posted over a year ago so it doesn’t seem to be a priority).

Apparently talking about the post-career lives and activities of athletes such as Brock Lesnar or the Rock, or current mainstream athletes like Ronda Rousey, would just befuddle the average fan because I guess they’re not smart enough to figure out the difference. To paraphrase the end of that ad campaign, try watching their boots, because they’re probably working a lot harder than some of the “real” sports out there.

Overall, I’ve certainly seen far worse attacks on wrestling and other than implying that wrestling or other sports fans might not be bright enough to know the difference between scripted or unscripted results and using the antiquated term of “rasslers”, he doesn’t take any unnecessary shots at the sport.

As usual though, it seems that he heard the letters WWE and had already decided that it was just guys doing fake moves to each other because that’s what he heard it was growing up. It’s a shame that mainstream writers don’t give it a bigger chance, but with columns like this out there, it’s not surprising that they don’t as it basically shames them for trying to talk about it.  But hey, it’s fine to air poker, cheerleading, darts, spelling bees and specials on fantasy football or the NFL Draft right?

Here’s the original article:

http://sportsjournalism.org/sports-media-news/lets-hope-media-outlets-remember-what-e-in-wwe-means/

Smackdown
Date: April 9, 2015
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

For the second week in a row, the advertised big match is Sheamus/Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler/Daniel Bryan and that’s really all there is to talk about here. Raw ended with Orton becoming #1 contender to Rollins’ title after beating Ryback and Reigns in a triple threat. Tonight we might see the Extreme Rules card take more shape as Smackdown gets to announce a match every now and then. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open things up. He says it was one of the highlights of his career to climb that ladder and win the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania. However, the actions of the man make the title (which says Intercontinental Heavyweight Wrestling Champion. I bet Vince is FURIOUS at the belt over that), so Bryan wants to defend this title against anyone who wants a shot.

That’s what he did after Wrestlemania against Dolph Ziggler, but Sheamus come out looking all stupid with a Brogue Kick to the face. So last week he fought Sheamus, but somewhere in the match he saw Wade (first time hearing that name in a while) Barrett….and now we all see Barrett on the ramp. He says he ended Bryan’s magical week with a Bull Hammer, and the fiendish gleam on Barrett’s face during that line is great. This brings out Sheamus to say he followed it up with a Brogue Kick.

Sheamus tolerates Barrett because he isn’t a munchkin like Bryan, so the two of them should come down there and give Bryan a beating because they can. They get in the ring but Ziggler comes out to call Sheamus the offspring of Captain Jack Sparrow and Carrot Top. The fight is about to be on but here’s Big Show because ruining main events just isn’t enough for him anymore. Big Show wants in on this beatdown but here’s Roman Reigns to even things up. A quick fight likely makes the tag match a six man. I’ll take that over a spontaneous match. They’ve got something with this tag team feud with the title thrown in.

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. New Day

Non-title with the New Day getting booed out of the building on the entrances. It’s a good sign that WWE has quickly caught onto the reality that no one likes them and is already starting to turn them. There’s an idea to the team but it’s just working as presented. Big E. wants everyone to get up and clap along with them so that’s exactly what they do, but with the SUCKS part added in. That makes Big E. think something has to change and that the fans have to love them. Woods is the odd man out here.

Kofi and Kidd get things going with Tyson taking him into the corner for some forearms before it’s off to Cesaro. He mocks the clapping and gets the crowd going again as the champions are the default good guys here. Kofi low bridges Cesaro to the floor and Big E. launches Kofi to the floor to take out the champs as we take a break. Back with Big E. suplexing Kidd but needing a tag. Cesaro breaks up a tag though and rag dolls Big E. into a gutwrench suplex. That’s scary strength.

Back to Tyson for some knees to the back as Lawler is talking more than I’ve heard him do in months. Big E. finally shoves Cesaro off but misses a charge into the post for two. There’s the Cesaro Swing into the dropkick from Tyson for two more with Kofi making the save. E. knocks Cesaro out of the air and makes the hot tag so Kofi can clean house with dropkicks and shots to the head. The Boom Drop sets up more clapping and sucking as everything breaks down. Kidd grabs a fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin on Kofi at 10:00.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but it could have been far worse. They need to turn New Day soon and thankfully we seem well on the way to that point. Cesaro and Kidd are starting to establish themselves as a really good heel team, which is something we haven’t seen in a long time.

Recap of Monday’s triple threat and the events that led up to it.

Free Network month shill. Remember when you had to pay for that?

Curtis Axel vs. Neville

In case you didn’t get enough of it the first time ten days ago. Axel wants to know what Neville is going to do when Axelmania runs wild on him. Neville flips around to start and grabs an armdrag but gets caught with a knee to the ribs. Neville’s front flips lead to Axel charging into a boot in the corner, followed by a running forearm. The spinning dive over the ropes takes Axel out again and it’s a slam followed by the Red Arrow for the pin at 2:17. That’s the same match they had on Raw after Wrestlemania.

Natalya, Cameron and Alicia Fox insist they didn’t try to con Kane into the Divas battle royal on Raw. Naomi deserves the shot and all but Cameron says she’s going to win. Alicia asks how long Cameron has been here and it’s been THREE YEARS??? She’s this bad after THREE YEARS??? Alicia and Natalya get in a fight.

Alicia Fox vs. Natalya

Cameron is guest referee so we can see her be horrible at something besides wrestling. To her credit, she found a referee’s cut off top and changed in the span of a commercial. It’s a catfight to start and they trade slaps until Cameron breaks up a fight next to the ropes. Natalya does her step over into the dropkick spot for two but Fox hits something like the Helluva Kick to take over. Fox’s northern lights suplex gets the same and we hit the chinlock. Back up and a cross body gets two for Natalya and the Sharpshooter gets the win at 3:41.

Rating: D+. As you may have noticed, there was a lot of play by play here. Here’s the reason why: these people have no characters. Cameron is close with the stuck up chick who only cares about herself, but Alicia is just Alicia and Natalya is just a veteran and serious wrestler. There’s nowhere to go with those characters as there’s nothing that stands out about them. The same is true for most of the Divas. Even Summer is just there as the dancing stuff is gone. I’m not saying we need to go back to the days of GLOW, but something would be nice.

Cameron lays both of them out with DDTs post match.

Bray Wyatt narrates a video about Erick Rowan, who was a child in a man’s world. How could society do what they’ve done to him? They took away Rowan’s innocence and we’re all guilty, even though we don’t know it. Bray has fixed him and now Rowan is free. We might have seen this video when the Family split up last year. If nothing else it’s cool to see a video like this to set up the matches later. What happened to the days of promos to set stuff up? It doesn’t have to have high production values. Just a quick promo from backstage would be fine.

Here’s Bray in the ring for his match but first he talks about remembering the days when Erick Rowan was lost. Society saw all of Rowan’s flaws but Bray saw possibilities. “Yes Erick, you too can job to Big Show.” The fans give Bray the WHAT treatment as he talks about being Rowan’s brother. He fixed Erick like you fix a broken toy and then set him free. Society has returned Rowan to Bray and he’s broken all over again. Tonight Bray is going to teach Rowan one last lesson: no matter what, trust no one because evil is inside of us all. If he’ll destroy someone he called his brother, imagine what he’ll do to you.

Bray Wyatt vs. Erick Rowan

Bray tells him to bring it on to start so Erick runs over him to knock Wyatt outside. Back in and Bray grabs him by the beard but you don’t do that to a former genius. What you do instead is send Rowan into the post and then knock him off the apron and into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Rowan fighting out of a chinlock but the backsplash hits knees. Rowan hits some running splashes in the corner for two but Bray rolls outside when Erick goes up top. That works better for Bray as he takes Rowan’s head off with a clothesline and follows up with the backsplash. The Rock Bottom doesn’t work but Wyatt takes him down with the flying body block. Sister Abigail ends Erick at 9:34.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here for the most part but I like that they’re giving the Wyatts what seems to be some closure. Either that or they’re repackaging Rowan into something else. I was interested in the genius gimmick but that was sacrificed on the alter of Big Show, next to Hideo Itami. Bray needs something to do now that the Undertaker match is over. I’d love to see him actually win a feud against a top name for a change too.

Bray cradles Rowan’s head post match.

It’s time for a special movie edition of MizTV. We see the trailer for Marine 4 but before Miz can get anywhere else, his co-star Summer Rae cuts him off. They get in an argument over who was the real star of the movie with Summer calling him a co-star and Miz calling her a featured extra. Summer brings up Mizdow eliminating him from the battle royal and the fans chant his name.

Miz asks if the fans know the backstory of Damien Sandow. He was fired twice until Miz saved his career and gave him a purpose. Cue Mizdow but Miz cuts him off and says Mizdow is going to go on a steep decline. These people can’t get him on track but Miz is capable and willing to because he’s a charitable person. He’ll do it for an apology and everything can go back to the way it was.

All Mizdow has to do to get everything back is shake Miz’s hand and apologize. Hey now, quit adding things to the rules. Miz asks whose hands Mizdow wants his career in, because the people will drop him in a heartbeat. Damien apologizes…..for not doing this earlier and the beating is on. Miz leaves so Mizdow kisses Summer, who seems to like it.

Video on WWE taking over the Bay Area for Wrestlemania weekend.

Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns/Dolph Ziggler vs. Big Show/Sheamus/Bad News Barrett

I guess because the original four needed star power to carry them? Sheamus and Ziggler get things going with the Irishman taking Dolph into the corner for a right hand to the ribs from Big Show. A big chop puts Ziggler down as Dolph is firmly into his standard style. Dolph dropkicks the knee out and gets two off the running DDT, only to get chopped out of the corner. Barrett comes in for the first time and slaps on a chinlock but the fans are already cheering for Dolph to get out.

Winds of Change gets two but Ziggler flips over Sheamus and dives into the tag to Bryan. The YES Kicks have Sheamus in trouble and Daniel backdrops him to the floor for the Flying Goat. They’re moving in this one so far. As Bryan throws Sheamus back in, Barrett gets up and kicks Daniel in the head as we take a break. Back with Bryan getting slammed by Big Show and a huge elbow getting two. Barrett comes in for another chinlock as the fans sound like they want Roman.

Show breaks up a hot tag attempt but his chokeslam is countered into the YES Lock. This time it’s Sheamus making the save and trying a superplex, only to get knocked off by Bryan. Daniel’s cross body is caught but he spins into a DDT and makes the hot tag to Reigns. Roman cleans house with Superman Punches as everything breaks down. Ziggler and Sheamus go to the floor and Bryan hits Show with the running knee. The spear out of the corner gives Reigns the pin on Barrett at 15:18.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here with everyone moving quickly and putting in some efforts. It’s interesting to see that Reigns is back to his old style and looking cool after not having the Wrestlemania main event looming over him. I think people are going to like him better when he’s not out there against the most popular guy in the company and now that he’s been able to give us something to connect to. Now if only they could get him completely away from Big Show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a pretty basic but well done show with decent wrestling and some midcard storyline development. That’s about all you can ask for from Smackdown these days as the illusion of the move back to Thursdays making the show matter is long gone. I do like that tag feud revolving around the Intercontinental Title though as it’s something that could go somewhere if they let it get interesting. Not bad this week but nothing great.

Results

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd b. New Day – Fisherman’s neckbreaker to Kingston

Neville b. Curtis Axel – Red Arrow

Natalya b. Alicia Fox – Sharpshooter

Bray Wyatt b. Erick Rowan – Sister Abigail

Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan/Dolph Ziggler b. Sheamus/Big Show/Bad News Barrett – Spear to Barrett

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Is to show that the WWE is burying EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF ITS ROSTER!Adam Rose – Stuck in a comedy tag team and they didn’t care enough about the Bunny storyline to follow up. It’s burial time, all the time.

Bad News Barrett – Reduced to a glorified commentator. Why would I care about someone like him? Bad News for you dude: You’re buried.

Big E. – Sent into a horrible team that no one cares about after being in a six man tag team match last year at the Raw after Wrestlemania where the fans booed him. Oh and he’s black so he’s never going anywhere. Don’t sweat it Big E. You’re just being buried.

Big Show – Look what happened to Cesaro after he won the battle royal last year. He’s clearly going to get buried. Oh and he didn’t get a pin the next night. We’re going to need a big box to bury a guy this big, but rest assured, he shall be buried.

Bo Dallas – He was eliminated by an NXT guy. He’s not even good enough to be buried by the major league guy. Dallas is far enough down that he’s being developmentally buried.

Bray Wyatt – Look at all those pay per view losses. He hasn’t won a single match on pay per view THIS YEAR. All he got on a pay per view was an interview where he ripped off another guy’s entrance. Follow the buzzards to his buried body.

Brock Lesnar – Do I even need to explain this one? Lost the title and HASN’T DONE A THING SINCE! Now he’s suspended and won’t get his revenge. People are going to forget about him and he’ll lose his heat. The next big burial indeed.

The Bunny – See Rose. They didn’t care enough about him to even unmask him as Darren Young. And I know that’s where it was going because I read it on a dirt sheet and they never make stuff up. I hope he can hop out of that grave he’s been buried in.

Cesaro – A TAG TEAM CHAMPION? Well, he’s screwed. He was so bad they stuck him on the pre-show. TWICE! What’s the Swiss word for buried?

Curtis Axel – Had to sell for Hulk Hogan and a celebrity with the 2.4 inch Pythons. Can we get a clock on how long he’s been buried for?

Damien Mizdow – Geez man. How can someone allegedly so smart (like I’m smart. I read wrestling news on the internet bro.) not come up with something better than just copying someone else? He’s totally ripping off Buddy Landell with Ric Flair from the 80s. Maybe he can get a stunt double when they throw him in the grave.

Daniel Bryan – Yeah he won the Intercontinental Title but he lost in his first non-title match by countout due to interference. NO! He doesn’t have any hope and YES! He is being buried. It’s so clear that you would have to be a goat faced moron to not see it.

Darren Young – They put him in a gimmick where he makes fun of people and shills old shirts. He’s like the black Charlie Haas. Oh and he’s black and therefore buried. Total racism.

Dean Ambrose – He lost both of his pay per view main events late last year, only got into the final five of the Rumble and then lost his Wrestlemania title match. Then Cena beat him in the US Title match the next night on Raw. There’s no hope for his future, but maybe he warm himself with all the memories of how people TOTALLY said he would be the star of the Shield.

Diego – He was replaced by a short guy named Kalisto as the resident luchador and he’s second fiddle to a guy in a bull suit. Either way, bury the dude. Just make sure it’s Diego instead of Fernando. Actually never mind as they’re the same person.

Dolph Ziggler – Where do I even start? He hasn’t won a thing since he won the World Title because that was Cena’s win at Survivor Series and he couldn’t even mean anything because STING won’t get out of his way. Then he jobbed to Luke Harper because this company has a thing for beards. Maybe he can show off the shovel used to bury him.

Erick Rowan – When has he actually won something recently? He’s just a big version of Daniel Bryan anyway. Maybe he can avoid being buried by pretending to be a sheep or something.

Fandango – When the feature of your act is the dancing chick who has never won a singles match in like five years, you’re just the new and improved version of the same buried Fandango.

Fernando – He was replaced by a short guy named Sin Cara as the resident luchador and he’s second fiddle to a guy in a bull suit. Either way, bury the dude. Just make sure it’s Fernando instead of Diego. Actually never mind as they’re the same person.

Goldust – WWE cares about him so much that he wins a match and lost all of his heat due to a post match attack. Then he got crushed by Rusev after Raw to complete the burial.

Heath Slater – They hate this guy so much that they go from a 3 Count knockoff to making him look like Apollo Creed. Even Drew McIntyre in TNA is getting pushed harder than this guy. I wonder if the guy burying him needed two helpers so it could be a THREE MAN BURIAL?

Jack Swagger – He’s lost to Rusev six times in less than a year. That’s like Zack Ryder territory and we all know he’s been buried.

Jey Uso/Jimmy Uso – Let’s combine this one into one. They can’t even beat Los Matadores and they’re only there to push Total Divas “star” Naomi. It doesn’t help that they’re just a placeholder tag team and haven’t done anything since they dropped the tag belts. Siva Tao your ways into the burial positions guys.

John Cena – This guy is the KING of burials. How do you go from the main event of Wrestlemania two years ago to basically being the TV Champion and fighting guys like Dean “I used to be a big deal when I said NOPE that one time!” Ambrose and Star “Please think of Mockingjay when you see me and forget that I’m jobbing to old guys” Dust. How could they put this guy over Rusev? He’s even using more than five moves to make you think he knows more than five moves! How can you trust this guy??? You won’t be able to see him now that he’s been buried.

Kalisto – He’s just there to make people forget about Rey Mysterio. Flip youself into the line for being buried and LEARN SOME ENGLISH. Clearly people hate him because he’s Hispanic right?

Kane – PUT THE MASK BACK ON! You were totally cool back then when you were the old dude in the mask instead of the old dude in the dress pants. Now you’re just getting speared and pinned all the time by a guy with no heat like Roman Reigns. I would say you’re buried but you’re way too old to belong in the ground anymore.

Kofi Kingston – Just a jumping guy. He’s black though and in that trio of losers so we’ll have him jump into the grave.

Konnor – They’re just using him to cash in on the Crusher stuff from last year. Why else would you name someone Konnor? Thankfully the WWE has clearly seen that there’s no future for he and Viktor and they’re burying them accordingly.

Luke Harper – When your only gimmick is you have a dirty shirt, you’re clearly being buried. GO BACK TO BRAY’S SIDE YOU FREAKY LOOKING LOSER!

Mark Henry – They brought him back to put over Roman Reigns and Sheamus? There’s no future in being a jobber to the stars and if you need any more proof, they put him in a battle royal a few weeks back. AND LET HIM WIN IT! Of course on top of that, he’s black and all black people are buried in WWE. Because they’re black and WWE is racist.

The Miz – An actor gimmick? That’s the best they can do? Then they keep giving him movie roles and have him lose to a guy most famous for imitating Miz and wearing Lanny Poffo’s thrown out trunks? I hope we can have quiet at the cemetery when they officially bury him, but they did that when they made him play third fiddle when he kept the title at Wrestlemania a few years back. If you want further proof, they gave him a Tag Team Title a few months ago. How can you possibly believe that he’s not being buried?

Neville – Losing to the World Champion in his SECOND MATCH on the main roster? Do I even need to explain why that’s a burial?

R-Truth – Just there for comedy and there’s that whole black guys don’t get pushed. Buried! That’s what’s up!

Randy Orton – You think Cena sucks because he only knows five moves? RKO, backbreaker, elevated DDT, right hand, I’m waiting for the fifth move. We’ll call that a BURIAL OUT OF NOWHERE!

The Rock – He came back for five Wrestlemanias and can only get TALKING SEGMENTS??? That’s the ultimate sign of being put out of pasture. Get out of the ring and just let Ronda Rousey show you how REAL WRESTLING is done you actor. So not only is he being buried in talking segments year after year, at the same time he’s burying people who really deserve the time. Do you have any idea how hard it is to bury people and be buried at the same time??? I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU COULD DO THAT!!!

Roman Reigns – Totally choked in the biggest match ever and then got stuck in a meaningless six man the next night as Orton’s partner. He’s just Cena with a tan anyway and we’ve already established that Cena is being buried, so Reigns is being buried with a tan and stupid looking tattoos.

Rusev – No one cares about him unless Lana and the tank are there. Plus he lost his big title match so he’s clearly being buried.

Ryback – Can they pick a gimmick with this guy? Not that it matters because each one leads to him being buried. First he was a monster and then A FREAKING REFEREE costs him the title match? Buried. Then he’s a heel who goes to a draw against Cena in his main events. Buried. Then he’s a bully and that doesn’t sound like being a star, meaning he’s not in the sky. You know where that leaves him right? Buried. In the ground. Now he’s back to the beginning as a monster, which is clearly just leading to him being buried all over again.

Seth Rollins – Yeah he’s the Undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Champion, but they’re clearly doing nothing with him. He had to sell for a rookie and needs comedy goons to save him all the time. Curb stomp him into the grave and put him out of his misery before he has a rematch for the title in the main event of the pay per view.

Sheamus – Comes back from being a four time World Champion and they turn him heel? That’s what you do when you have nothing left to do with someone so his days are numbered. Plus he couldn’t even beat a vanilla midget like Bryan without help so he’s done. Buried.

Sin Cara – A masked tag match? What happened to being the most popular guy in Mexico? Leave the mask on to hide your face you buried loser.

Stardust – He’s lost two title shots in eight days and is there as a movie tie-in character to some girly movie like Thirsty Games or whatever it’s called. Buried and buried bad.

Sting – Well he’s never won a match so he’s already behind Barry Horowitz. How do you get more buried than that?

Titus O’Neil – I’m tired so we’ll stick with he’s black and therefore buried. He’s even in a black tag team so it’s even worse. Buried again.

Triple H – This guy invented being buried! Getting thrown around by a celebrity? That’s even worse than when he got slapped around by an actor back in 2000. When is the last time he won a World Title anyway? Now he’s beating up old WCW rejects like Sting, which means he’s just fighting jobbers. There’s no point to having him around anymore so we’ll say he’s buried.

Tyson Kidd – Yeah he’s got a belt, but it’s the same one he had a few years ago and now he’s pitching Burger King ads while wearing lame headphones and showing off his love for his cats? That’s the best they’ve got for him? Oh yeah he’s buried.

Undertaker – The guy has lost how many BURIED alive matches? He’s literally been buried multiple times so I think you get the point here.

Viktor – He got beaten up by the APA and DX. How does he not understand that he’s being buried?

Xavier Woods – The leader of the trio of black losers. Still means he’s being buried though. Yeah he wants to work with children and is working on his PH.D, but can he win a match? Until we know he can, he can defend his dissertation after getting out of that dirt from when they buried him.

Zack Ryder – Do I even need to explain this one? He’s had like four matches with Rusev that add up to less than five minutes. And to think a guy like Rock talked (Like I said, he only does talking segments!) so highly of him after the main event of Survivor Series 2012.

All Divas but the Bellas are of course being buried so we’ll put them in a big group.

Bella Twins – They’re just there because of a reality show with ratings that keep falling. They may be “stars” there but here they’re just propping up tombstones. I mean, they lost at Wrestlemania and weren’t even important enough to defend their title. Yeah they’re both champion. The name graphics said so and even if it might have been a slip up, it’s how I interpreted it so therefore it’s true.

Finally, some other people they have on screen.

El Torito – They can’t decide if he’s a man or a bull. If they don’t care enough, they’re buried him already.

Hornswoggle – Well they gave him a movie so he wouldn’t be on screen. Sounds like a burial to me.

The Stooges – How many finishers do they keep taking? I don’t remember two J’s being in the word buried, but maybe I just missed it.

Lana – She gets a dead end foreigner gimmick and isn’t even on Total Divas. Bury her and her legs.

Paul Heyman – How many times can he say the same thing over and over again? He’s nothing without Lesnar so just like ECW,’s he’s dead and buried.

Stephanie McMahon – She got beaten up by Ronda Rousey (I know her of course, because I pay for the Wrestling Observer Newsletter for my MMA news and that makes me a REAL fan) on the biggest night of the year. Yeah she beat a Bella. Freaking woop. Bury her with the rest of the McMahon Family so we can get a good boss in there. Is Sapolsky available?

William Regal – They already buried him. I mean, he’s the third NXT boss in like two years. How much could they possibly care about him?

Zeb Colter – How does this guy have a job? All he does is talk and claims an injury after he FINALLY took a bump. Bury him next to Swagger and Cesaro.

SEE? WWE BURIES EVERYONE ON THE ROSTER! I JUST PROVED IT!!!

Oh and I got this list off the WWE Roster Wikipedia page. Bury that too since it hasn’t done anything for me since I started writing this list.

NXT
Date: April 8, 2015
Location: San Jose Convention Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves

We’re on the road again with some matches taped for this year’s Wrestlemania Axxess weekend. For at least the last two years, there has been a ring set up on the Axxess floor for live matches, including some title defenses. Tonight we’re going to see some of those matches and maybe some from the well received house show the same weekend. Let’s get to it.

The main story tonight is a tournament for a spot in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal at Wrestlemania XXXI. Here are the brackets.

Finn Balor

Baron Corbin

Bull Dempsey

Tyler Breeze

Hideo Itami

Jason Jordan

Kalisto

Adrian Neville

Video of Wrestlemania’s impact on the area, which I believe was shown on both Raw and Smackdown.

We get a quick recap of the first round to give us the final four.

Balor rolled up Corbin to advance, Breeze beat Dempsey with a Beauty Shot, Itami’s running kick to the face knocked Jordan out and the Red Arrow advanced Neville.

Here are the updated brackets.

Finn Balor

Tyler Breeze

Hideo Itami

Adrian Neville

Battle Royal Qualifying Tournament Semi-Finals: Hideo Itami vs. Adrian Neville

Neither guy gets an entrance. The crowd is very small, maybe about 200, as the ring is just tucked away in a corner of the convention center. They fight over a wristlock to start with Neville taking him down to the mat but Itami counters into an arm crank for a near fall of his own. The fans boo something off camera as the guys have a staredown and Neville teases going after whoever it was.

We hit the dueling chants as Neville grabs a headlock. That goes nowhere so Hideo hits a running kick to the chest and clotheslines Neville out to the floor. Neville makes it back in at nine and the fans don’t seem thrilled with him. Some shots to the chest and a big back elbow get two on Hideo but he comes back with his three clotheslines (of course) and the tornado neck snap across the top rope.

The top rope clothesline gets two and Itami follows up with a sleeper (Fans: “GO TO SLEEP!”) before switching off to a dragon sleeper. The GTS is countered and Neville blasts him with a superkick for two. Neville has to bail out of a shooting star and gets caught by the running dropkick in the corner. The Shotgun Kick sends Itami to the finals at 11:16.

Rating: C+. Good enough but Itami really needs to open up the offense. First it was nothing but kicks and now it’s primarily clotheslines. Star throwing in some more submissions or throws or whatever, but stop using one or two moves over and over. Neville was working heel here and it was kind of odd to see. Not bad or anything but just a sharp change from his usual style.

Battle Royal Qualifying Tournament Semi-Finals: Finn Balor vs. Tyler Breeze

Balor gets an entrance. Breeze poses on the corner to start so Balor dropkicks him in the face and poses exactly the same. More kicks to the chest get two on Breeze but he takes Balor down and puts on a chinlock (Tyler: “ASK HIM PLEASE!”). Balor quickly rolls through and hits a basement dropkick, followed by even more kicks to the face and chest for two. We definitely have a theme in this match. Breeze finally mixes it up with some forearms but charges into the Sling Blade. The Coup de Grace ends Breeze at 5:22.

Rating: C+. It’s very telling how much more of a presence Balor has in half the time that Itami had. The guy is just awesome in the ring and has the full package. Even though the match was nothing special and Breeze was basically getting squashed for five minutes, it felt more entertaining than the previous match.

Dana Brooke debuts next week and calls herself the Total Diva.

Video package on the NXT house show from Wrestlemania weekend and it looks like a big Ring of Honor show, just with HHH in the ring. It really is amazing that WWE basically has their own in house indy company. This show looks like a blast.

Sami Zayn vs. Rhyno next week.

Battle Royal Qualifying Tournament Final: Hideo Itami vs. Finn Balor

We get a wide shot of the arena to show several hundred more people on the hard camera side. The fans are behind Balor as the guys do a wrestling sequence, ending with a standoff. Balor takes him down and cranks on the arm before a dropkick gets two. Itami comes back with some kicks to the chest and puts on a chinlock. That goes as far as a chinlock can take you and Finn rolls out for another basement dropkick.

An enziguri in the corner knocks Hideo off the top for two but he comes back with the top rope clothesline. The GTS is teased again but Balor escapes into the Pele to put both guys down again. Back up and Hideo wins a strike off, followed by a running basement dropkick in the corner. The Sling Blade out of nowhere drops Itami but he crotches Finn to break up the Coup de Grace. Yet another GTS attempt is countered and the Shotgun Kick sends Hideo to Wrestlemania at 8:15.

Rating: C. I wasn’t feeling this one as much as they built up the GTS through the match but they still didn’t let it hit. I’m glad Hideo won though as having Balor in his spot at Wrestlemania would have been a waste of him. All the kicks are getting annoying too and it’s really hard to care when it’s the same stuff all show long. Good enough match but it didn’t have the time to get anywhere.

They shake hands post match.

We get a cool video on Hideo Itami, dating back to his press conference in Osaka, announcing his signing with WWE. Then he debuted in NXT, then he beat Balor in the match from earlier on this show. We see Itami going through the curtain to be greeted by the contingent of HHH, Tatsumi Fujinami and……Hillbilly Jim?

Itami introduces us to his family and again, his English is fine. His language skills really aren’t an excuse for his lack of promos. You can keep them short and get the point across well enough. Also included is a clip of Itami hitting the GTS on Breeze at the house show and how people freaked out online. Naturally, Stephanie is RIGHT THERE to comment on the impact on social media.

Itami is in the battle royal. We see him warming up backstage and all his friends praising him for making it this far this fast. He comes out to the crowd, Cole gives him a special introduction, he knocks out Dallas, and then Big Show treats him like any given jobber as Cole says “welcome to the big leagues.” I’m SO glad we got to see him beaten down that fast. It just wouldn’t have been complete without seeing Big Show looking dominant. Hideo cries once he gets backstage and a bunch of people congratulate him. Even Big Show says he looks forward to working with Itami again. His kids hug him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s mainly a theme show with some wrestling included. The stuff on Itami is a really cool feature (Big Show dominance aside) and made him look like a big deal. Above all else though, I want to focus on that house show. On the Rise and Fall of ECW, Paul Heyman talks about wanting to make his shows into a big party where the fans say “WOW! I want to go there! I want to buy my ticket and be right there in the middle of all that.”

That’s the feeling I got watching that house show. It looked like a blast and something I’d love to get to see. It’s the feeling you don’t get on Raw because NXT feels far more fan friendly and built on excitement. Like I said, it’s basically an in house indy company with very little connection to the main roster. This is a special promotion and it’s going to keep going for a long time at this pace.

Results

Hideo Itami b. Adrian Neville – Shotgun Kick

Finn Balor b. Tyler Breeze – Coup de Grace

Hideo Itami b. Finn Balor – Shotgun Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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