Dynamic Duo vs. Matt Hardy/Jason Arnhdt

Snow and Jason get things going with Al hammering away before hitting a nice shwwlbarrow suplex. Off to Unabom (yes it’s spelled that way here) for a powerslam, setting up a superkick from Snow. Al misses a cross body and makes the tag to Matt (yes that) Hardy) who is launched into the corner. A clothesline/German suplex combo is enough to easily pin Hardy. Total squash.

Kane would be performing in the WWF around this time, as Isaac Yankem, D.D.S. He’s an evil dentist you see. He’s also Jerry Lawler’s evil dentist and is helping Lawler in his VERY long war with Bret Hart. From Summerslam 1995.

Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart

You might know Yankem better as Fake Diesel, who you might know better as Kane. Isaac’s music is made up of dentist drills which is rather creepy. Bret wants to know if he has to fight an evil chiropractor next. The fans lose their minds for Bret, which makes you wonder why he’s fighting A FREAKING DENTIST. Isaac grabs him by the throat and sends Bret into the corner to take over early. This is his debut so Bret isn’t sure what to do with him.

Bret’s right hands in the corners don’t get him anywhere but he avoids a charge and takes Yankem to the floor with some clotheslines. A plancha takes Isaac down and a middle rope clothesline looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Isaac blocks. Instead a backslide gets two for Hart, only to have Isaac throw him into the ropes and tie up Bret’s arm. The hard whip into the corner puts Bret down and the ropes look pretty loose. Yankem stomps Bret down in the corner and puts him on his back for a choke but Hart counters into a small package.

Lawler rants about having to kiss Bret’s feet after a previous match and is thrilled when Isaac clotheslines him to the floor. Bret is rammed back first into the post and the selling is the mastery you would expect it to be. Back in and Yankem hits a top rope Fameasser for two and a pair of clotheslines for two. Bret knocks him to the floor and sends him into the steps before getting two off the bulldog back inside. The backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow but Lawler breaks up the Sharpshooter.

Bret is sent into the steps again as Lawler is playing cheerleader. Yankem loads up the top rope clothesline but Bret slams him down and pounds away in the corner. Bret trips Yankem up and ties the legs around the post to stomp away before going after Jerry. Isaac escapes and dives off the top onto Bret before tying his head up in the ropes. That’s finally enough for the referee and he throws the match out.

Rating: C. This took time to get going but you could see the potential in Yankem. The problem is he was a gimmick wrestler in the vein of T.L. Hopper and Repo Man: you can only go so far with one idea. That’s why Kane was the idea that worked: it was a character that could evolve and had more than one idea to him, thereby making him interesting and someone with staying power. That’s why WWF in 1995 was so terrible: they were all about the dull one note characters and the interest never was there.

He would spend over a year in that stupid dentist gimmick before FINALLY getting away to do something new. Unfortunately it wasn’t much better. The next stupid gimmick for Kane would be as Fake Diesel, who teamed with Fake Razor Ramon. This somehow got them a Tag Team Title shot at In Your House 12.

Tag Titles: Diesel/Razor Ramon vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

This is the story that I didn’t want to get to earlier on but I’m stuck with it now. No these aren’t the real Hall and Nash returning, but rather people that JR brought in and who are being used as something resembling a parody of the guys who were on top of the wrestling world at this point.

Originally JR talked about how the person didn’t actually matter and the gimmicks were what got Hall and Nash over, which is actually a nice jab at them. That didn’t last long though and eventually became a basic parody, though Rick Bogner (Fake Razor) looks like he’s wearing a Razor Ramon costume and mask. Glenn Jacobs (Fake Diesel) actually looks like the real thing from behind and when he’s wearing sunglasses, making him far more bearable in the costume. We’ll be hearing from Jacobs again in a few months.

As for the match, the idea is that the champions are having problems because Steve Austin has been messing with their heads. Diesel starts with Owen as JR gets into full analytical mode now that some of his buddies are in there. Diesel drives Owen into the corner and fires off some elbows before shoving Owen off the ropes. Owen comes back with some right hands but gets slammed down with ease. Two guys from Mexican wrestling company AAA named Pierroth and Cibernetico are in the aisle to distract the Bulldog for some reason.

Off to Bulldog vs. Razor with the latter doing a pretty decent imitation of the real Razor’s mannerisms, but the whole thing falls apart as soon as you see his face. Bulldog fires off some forearms as the AAA guys leave, only to be replaced by Austin. Bulldog hits a quick cross body but goes to the floor to get in a fight with Austin. Steve is taken to the back but the distraction allows Razor to hit a spinning right hand, sending Bulldog into the corner for a tag off to Owen.

Hart gets a quick two off a missile dropkick but Diesel pulls the top rope down to send him out to the floor. Diesel rams Owen back first into the post before sending him back in for an armbar from Razor. Off to Diesel for a sidewalk slam but he stomps away instead of covering. Ramon comes back in and hits a pumphandle fall away slam for two before grabbing a reverse chinlock. The fans are almost entirely behind the champions, despite them being huge heels at this point.

Diesel gets two off a big boot (which clearly missed by several inches) but the fans all think he sucks. Owen gets a boot of his own up in the corner and takes Diesel down with a nice enziguri. There’s the hot tag off to Bulldog who cleans house with clotheslines and forearms all around. A quick vertical suplex gets two on Razor as everything breaks down. Owen is whipped into Diesel who catches him in midair but Bulldog dropkicks his partner in the back, sending them both to the floor. Owen slides back in to spinwheel kick Razor in the face to break up a Razor’s Edge attempt and score a quick pin to retain.

Rating: C-. As stupid as the gimmick was, the match wasn’t too bad at all. Diesel was actually very solid in the ring and would be around for many more years under a different gimmick. Razor was just kind of there though and the match was definitely weaker when he was in the ring. Not bad stuff for the most part though.

Nearly a year later, we FINALLY got the gimmick that worked. At the end of the first Hell in a Cell match, the Undertaker’s brother Kane debuted and cost him the match. This had been teased for months until Kane finally arrived, making for one of the best debuts ever. Undertaker refused to fight at first though, leaving others to try their luck. Here’s Kane’s first match in the WWF, from Survivor Series 1997.

Kane vs. Mankind

The brawl starts immediately on the floor with Kane throwing Mankind into the steps. Kane has the red lights ala Sin Cara during his matches at this point. With Mankind half dead in the ring, Kane does the corner fire deal and the match starts. Mankind fights up and a Cactus Clothesline puts both of them on the floor. Kane knocks him right back down and throws the steps at Mankind’s head to take him down one more time. Back in and Mankind charges into a big boot and Kane chokes away in the corner.

Kane sends it to the floor again and beats on Mankind some more, but Foley hot shots him onto the steps to slow the monster down. A chair to the head knocks Kane back into the ring and there’s a piledriver, but Mankind goes after Bearer instead of Kane. Kane sits up and chokeshoves Mankind off the apron and through the announce table. The Spanish one of course.

Kane loads up a chokeslam on the floor but Mankind kicks him low (which only works on Kane on occasion) and DDTs him on the concrete. The elbow off the apron hits Kane again but Kane sits up and slams Mankind off the top to the floor. Back in and Mankind literally pulls himself up to his feet and is immediately tombstoned for the pin.

Rating: C+. When you have a new guy you want to put over, you call Mick Foley. This is a match you have to think about to get why it worked. First and foremost, Kane is supposed to be a monster who has very little experience in the ring. Think of him like Jason from Friday the 13th or something like that (Youtube Jerry Lawler vs. Jason. It’s EXACTLY what it sounds like and it actually exists) as someone who just wants carnage instead of wanting to be technical. These two beat the tar out of each other and it made Kane look unstoppable. That would continue for about five and a half months until the Dead Man came back.

After a LONG wait and Kane lighting Undertaker on fire, the showdown finally took place at Wrestlemania XIV.

Here’s Pete Rose to be ring announcer. After getting a warm reception, Pete turns heel on the audience and rips on them for losing for so long. Pete sounds a bit drunk here but not too bad. He makes fun of the Red Sox and there go the lights, cuing Kane. We debut a three year long running joke of Kane beating up Pete, this time with a Tombstone, sending the crowd into delirium. There go the lights and it’s time for the mother of all Undertaker entrances. Druids come out carrying torches and we hear music that sounds like Gregorian chanting. Undertaker walks out under a tunnel of fire and we’re ready to go. AWESOME.

Undertaker vs. Kane

There’s the bell and they stare each other down before Taker pounds away with no effect. Kane shrugs them off and LAUNCHES Undertaker into the corner but Taker is too quick. Kane comes back with a clothesline but Taker immediately sits up. A tombstone doesn’t work for Kane so he puts Taker in the Tree of Woe and stomps away. This is only Kane’s second match in the company to date so we don’t have a lot to go on with him.

A clothesline in the corner puts Undertaker down again as Bearer talks trash. Kane draps him over the top rope and there’s a forearm to the back of the head. Back in and Kane pounds away in the corner but Undertaker covers up. Taker gets a running start at Kane and winds up on the red one’s shoulders, only to be (kind of) slammed face first into the mat. They head to the floor with Taker being dropped face first onto the barricade. A Paul Bearer distraction lets Kane drop the steps onto his brother’s back.

Paul gets in some stompings before Kane suplexes Taker back in. Taker says bring it on and hits a few clotheslines, only to charge into a chokeslam for two as Kane pulls his brother up. We hit the chinlock for over a full minute before Undertaker fights up with punches to the ribs. A back elbow puts him back down though and an elbow drop sets up another chinlock by Kane. Taker fights out of that one as well, only to try to crotch Kane on the top rope. That doesn’t quite work though as Kane bounces on the top rope and falls to the floor.

Instead here’s a Taker Dive but Kane throws him through the Spanish Announce Table in a spectacular crash. Back in and the top rope clothesline gets two for Kane and Bearer is shocked. Taker loads up a Tombstone out of nowhere but gets countered into one by his brother but it only gets two. Kane is TICKED so they slug it out with Taker getting the better of it.

A clothesline puts Kane down and there’s a chokeslam by Undertaker. The Tombstone hits Kane but it only gets two. You can hear the fans gasp at the kickout. There’s another Tombstone but THAT just gets two so Taker goes up for a top rope clothesline. The third Tombstone FINALLY ends it, even though Kane would have been up at 3.1.

Rating: C-. I’ve heard this called terrible and yeah it’s bad, but it’s definitely not horrible. They would have been better suited cutting out about two minutes but even without that missing this was still a solid power match. It was clear they were getting winded by the end, but this is one of the matches where the crowd carried things. There’s nothing wrong with that and it worked well here. Nowhere near as bad as I remembered it.

Post match Kane lays out Undertaker again, blasting him with a chair a few times. A tombstone on the chair leaves Taker out cold.

The performance was good enough for Kane to get a WWF Title shot at King of the Ring 1998.

WWF Title: Kane vs. Steve Austin

I remember a buddy of mine once saying he wondered why Austin didn’t come out with a needle or something and poke Kane for the win. They covered that and it’s a good thing they did as it was a great point. Crowd pops like CRAZY for Austin. He had a staph infection in his elbow so it’s incredibly taped up. Austin is in the air for the Thesz Press before the bell finishes ringing. Naturally this is no DQ so the belt shot in the first few seconds is fine.

The only skin on Kane that’s visible is his left hand. I beat Lawler to that line again! This is reminiscent of the tables match with Cena and Sheamus as Kane doesn’t actually have to get a clean win on Austin but he can get the title, which is brilliant. And here comes the Cell. The cage stops about 8 inches above Austin’s throat which is kind of scary when you think about it.

I really hope that’s padding on Austin’s elbow and not a result of the infection as it’s probably the size of a brick or so. Austin’s back is bleeding a bit which is why I think they put in the it has to be a lot of blood clause into it, just in case of something like that. Now the Cell is going up just as Austin is in control. In a cool looking spot, Kane is caught on the door frame and is raised into the air.

That’s really awesome looking. We see Vince in the luxury box with Sable which gets a lot of heat. Dang the crowd loves Austin. Austin is dominating here and he hits Kane in the face with a fan. That has to hurt. There goes the referee which is pointless as it’s no DQ. Kane hits that top rope clothesline to put Kane down. Vince apparently can see from a box perfectly well. That strikes me as odd.

We keep hearing that if Kane loses he’ll set himself on fire, more or less confirming that he’s winning. However, the body suit could say otherwise. Here’s Mick Foley of all people. And here’s the Cell again. Yeah that’s a pad on his arm as some of the tape came off. Kane takes a Stunner and here’s Taker with a chair. He swings for Foley but hits Austin who is also holding a chair, knocking it into his face.

And Austin is bleeding as Taker throws the referee back in. Taker, ever the nice guy, pours the gasoline at ringside on the referee to wake him up. Austin gets a SICK chairshot to Kane and the referee rings it and as the fans see his face they almost go silent. The booing for Kane being announced as the new champion is insane. We cut to Vince who mouths the words I told you so to Sable as we go off the air.

We get bonus footage of after the show and I mean right after it as Kane’s music is still playing when it starts. The referee is out cold, I’d assume at the hands of Austin and Mankind is coming back. The fans chant BS and I mean LOUDLY. Foley gets beaten up even more as Austin’s music plays and he leaves.

Rating: B+. Again, this isn’t something you can grade on a regular scale. It was mainly furthering the conspiracy and on that level it did very well. Obviously Austin would get the belt back the next night as Kane was champion less than 24 hours. That being said, he won it here and that’s all that matters.

Since Kane has been around for the better part of ever, we’re going to skip ahead to the end of 1999, skipping his Tag Team Title run with Mankind and the conspiracy bit with Undertaker. Eventually Kane would team up with X-Pac to win some more Tag Team Titles. Kane would also get a girlfriend named Tori, but she would leave him for X-Pac, setting up a feud between the two of them. Here’s I believe the blowoff, from Armageddon 1999.

Kane vs. X-Pac

In a cage and only X-Pac can win by escape. This is the blowoff to their feud that kept going and going. Tori is sexy to me and always has been. Pac has reached the point of annoying here so that explains a lot. No idea what I meant by that so don’t try to figure it out. Kane goes to the floor and gets Pac first thanks to Tori. Yes of course she turns on him eventually.

And of course Pac can’t do a thing to Kane. King spends the whole match making sex jokes about Kane. I could care less here even though Kane is one of my favorites. After Pac can’t do anything to Kane, here come the Outlaws with bolt cutters. The X-Factor hits on a chair they throw in and Kane is cuffed to the cage.

Many chairshots follow until Tori gets in the ring. X-Factor for the woman that he was sleeping with in kayfabe secrecy. Kane of course breaks the cuffs as Pac is leaving. In a cool spot, Pac is climbing down and Kane catches him on his shoulders and walks him back into the cage. I like that. After slamming the cage door on X-Pac’s head, Kane goes up to the top of the cage and hits his clothesline. A Tomestone gets the three and X-Pac is DEAD. Decent match, GREAT finish.

Rating: B+. Now THAT is how you end a feud. Kane had been trying to get his hands on that little twat waffle for months and he finally did. This is what matches like this should be like. I loved the ending here as Kane looked like a freaking monster and that’s what he was supposed to do. Great stuff.

Kane wouldn’t do much of note for the remainder of the year, but he would get into a fourway at Unforgiven 2000 for the World Title.

WWF Title: Kane vs. The Rock vs. Undertaker vs. Chris Benoit

One fall to a finish. Taker still has Kid Rock for his music here. There are about 7 referees in the ring to keep the brawl from starting until Rock is there. Taker vs. Benoit and Rock vs. Kane to start. No tags here so I’d assume no DQ. Now it’s brother on brother violence as Rock vs. Benoit is out in the crowd. Top rope clothesline gets two for Kane. Taker’s jumping version gets the same.

Big boot gets two for Taker. The others are back now and Rock gets a Samoan Drop for two on the Big Fried Freak. Rock and Taker put Kane on the floor so they can brawl a bit. Taker sets for Old School but Rock breaks it up, tossing Taker from the top and sending him to the floor. Kane is back in now as Jerry asks where Benoit is. There goes the referee. Taker caves Rock’s head in with a chair and Benoit does the same to Taker. The referee gets up and BENOIT WINS THE TITLE?????

Oh of course not as here’s Foley to say Taker was in the ropes. Did we really need a Dusty Finish here? Everyone is mad at Benoit for some reason and they stalk him up the aisle. Rock sends him into the set as does Taker. Back in the ring Taker gets two on Benoit with Rock making the save. We get a replay showing that Taker’s leg was on the ropes so at least it was correct.

Rock pops Taker in the head with the steps. Well at least he wasn’t touching a rope. Rock gets his move that is supposed to be an overhead belly to belly but is more like a random thrown. Rolling Germans get two for Benoit. The headbutt gets two and now Benoit is in the Crossface. Now there’s something you don’t see every day. Kane and Taker are back in now and Kane hits a chokeslam for two.

Benoit breaks up the elbow to draw MAD heat. It says a lot about Rock that the People’s Elbow, the most overblown of all overblown moves, is over in Philly. Last Ride to Rock but Kane saves again. Benoit cracks the brothers with chair shots and puts Rock in the Crossface. Taker FINALLY breaks it up after a record for most time in the Crossface. Chokeslam gets two on Benoit as Kane saves. The big guys slug it out and a Rock Bottom keeps the title on the Brahma Bull.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but it’s really just like any other four way main event you’ll see. It’s fine for what it was but it didn’t feel like a big deal at all at almost any time. The Dusty Finish wasn’t needed and slowed things down a lot and I’d have rather seen Benoit get it. Then again he wasn’t ready for it yet so I can live with that and totally understand it. Not bad but nothing worth seeing again.

We’ll jump ahead again and skip a short feud with Jericho and Hardcore Kane. It’s now after Wrestlemania X7 and Kane is teaming with his brother to fight the Two Man Power Trip. From Backlash 2001.

WWF World Title/Intercontinental Title/Tag Titles: HHH/Steve Austin vs. Undertaker/Kane

Kane has a bad elbow/arm here so that’ll likely play into the ending. Oh and if HHH wins he’s a Grand Slam Champion. The heels stall a lot and Austin can’t even throw his vest into the ring. There’s the bell and it’s time to go. Kane gets a shot into HHH’s head and we stall even more. HHH finally gets in alone and down he goes again. They’ve been on the floor about three minutes now.

Finally the tall dudes go out to the floor and the slugout begins. HHH goes into the announce table as Austin and Taker are actually in the ring now. They switch off with HHH and Kane in the ring now. No idea if anyone is legal yet. Kane chokes both guys but his arm is hurting. Ok so HHH and Kane are the official starters now. There’s the jumping knee and down goes the big fried freak.

HHH brings in Austin but Kane gets the tag and Austin tries to run. His reward is having a mudhole stomped into him. Taker destroys him for a bit and Austin offers a handshake. This is the guy that a month before was at war with Rock. Wow indeed. Taker reluctantly tags in Kane, which makes sense here. Back off to Taker and HHH and Old School hits. Old School to Austin also and Taker clears the ring.

The Two Man Power Trip tries to leave but Kane makes the stop. Back in the ring and HHH breaks up the Last Ride. Double mudhole is stomped into Taker in the corner and we head to the floor again. Austin vs. Taker now in the ring and make that HHH instead. The challengers (kind of) are tagging in and out rather well. Taker fights out of it and gets a DDT on HHH but won’t tag. Not can’t, but won’t.

Austin hits a Thesz Press but the middle finger elbow is caught in an attempted chokeslam. HHH makes the save but Taker gets a double clothesline to put all three guys down. Kane tags himself in and hammers on Austin. Another chokeslam is broken up by HHH and Kane avoids a Stunner. HHH finally wakes up and works on the arm. This is kind of a mess. Austin gets a chair shot to the arm and it’s an ARMBAR in the ring by the Game.

Kane’s face is pounded on a bit more but Kane reverses to pound on Austin a bit more. HHH makes another save as it keeps seeming like this is a handicap match rather than a regular tag. Top wristlock goes on which Kane fights out of again. HHH gets tossed to the floor where he’s able to break up a tag. Austin comes in sans tag and he and Kane botch something badly. It looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but Austin didn’t go down or anything like that.

HHH tries to comes off the top but Kane gets a foot up but still can’t tag out. He picks up Kane’s leg and Kane looks like he’s setting for an enziguri but he just hops for awhile and HHH takes him down. Pedigree hits and HHH tags out for no apparent reason. During the confusion Taker comes in and chokeslams Austin. Stephanie distracts Hebner so he shoves her down and counts two on Austin.

Kane hits the enziguri this time which makes me think they blew the spot earlier. The referee goes down for a bit and doesn’t see the hot tag to Taker. Taker pummels them both and it’s a Last Ride to Taker but he’s not legal a minute after being tagged in. Low blow by Austin to Taker and a Stunner to Kane. Taker and Austin brawl into the crowd and HHH gets a tag title belt, only to get it kicked into his face. Chokeslam is loaded up but Stephanie comes in, only to get kicked in the face also. Vince runs in with a sledgehammer which HHH gets for a pair of shots to Kane, one in the head, for the tag titles.

Rating: D+. This was about half an hour long and the whole thing didn’t work for the most part. It was just a big mess with everything going all over the place and nothing of note going on other than the arm work. It was more about everyone doing random moves instead of a coherent match, which is rarely a good thing at all. Not a good main event.

We’ll skip the Alliance and get to Wrestlemania XVIII for a match with no real story.

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Angle has the SWEET black singlet here. He rips on the Canadian figure skating team that had a big controversy over winning a gold medal. Angle says he’s a big red white and blue machine but here’s the interruption. If there’s a reason for this match, it’s not important enough to mention and I can’t remember it either. Apparently there’s something about Kane having a concussion so Angle hits him with the bell before the….uh bell actually.

A quick German suplex puts Kane down and Kurt stomps away. Kane gets up and hits some right hands before stomping away in the corner for a bit. A two handed chokeslam puts Angle down but he blocks the one armed version. Angle comes back with a belly to belly suplex for no cover but it scrambles Kane’s head again. Kurt chokes away on the ropes and a belly to back suplex gets two. Off to a front facelock for a bit until Kane throws Angle off to get a breather.

The side slam puts Kane down but Angle rolls some Germans to put him right back down. A top rope clothesline puts Kane down again but the second attempt lands on an uppercut from Kane. Both guys are down again as the match slows down even more. Kane comes back with the big boot and the tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. Now the chokeslam hits but Angle grabs the rope. Angle grabs the mask to confuse Kane and hits the Angle Slam for two.

There’s the ankle lock for a bit which has made Kane tap before, but he makes the rope this time. An enziguri puts Angle down and Kane goes up, only for Angle to run the ropes for the suplex. The Angle Slam is countered and Kane grabs a chokeslam, only for Angle to roll through into a cradle. They botch said cradle but Angle improvises by putting his feet on the ropes because he’s smart like that.

Rating: C-. This was just kind of there which hurt it a lot. Again, I’m not really sure why these two were fighting. There was a mention of head trauma for Kane but that was never elaborated on at all. Also it didn’t really seem to mess with Kane after the first two minutes or so, making it a pretty pointless injury. Not bad here, but it didn’t do anything of note for me.

Kane would be gone for most of the summer before returning in September. He would win the Intercontinental Title at the end of the month and put it on the line in a title for title match at No Mercy 2002.

Raw World Title/Intercontinental Title: HHH vs. Kane

Since Lesnar had gone to Smackdown as the Undisputed Champion the World Heavyweight Championship had been made for HHH as the Raw title. That was last month so the ending is pretty clear here. We hear the stupid line of that title dating back to 1904 (it was 1905 until they decided it was 04 when HHH got it) which is complete nonsense.

In short, the NWA Title was unified with a title that dated back to 1905. That title LOOKS like the NWA Title so it has the same lineage. That’s the extent of the WWE’s logic. Lawler says Kane needs Liquid Courage to face HHH. Well it would certainly help him with his covers. And now onto the match.

Kane pushes him around to start and then drills HHH. An amusing thing here is that Lawler keeps calling Kane the Animal. Batista was either already on Smackdown or would be debuting any week now. I think he’s already there though. All Kane so far. He beats on HHH for about the first three minutes more or less non stop. HHH gets a bad reverse neckbreaker to take Kane down. Naturally he sits up to take care of that.

Facebuster buys HHH some time and he sends Kane to the floor. Back in the ring and HHH hits another neckbreaker. Make that three. Dang he sticks to stuff he likes doesn’t he? Ross says if Kane wins he’ll be the first masked World’s Heavyweight Champion. I guess they’re pushing that whole separate titles thing. Spinebuster puts Kane down again.

HHH keeps up the offense on the neck and throat with a slingshot up into the middle rope to keep Kane down even longer. Off to a sleeper now and Kane is reeling. Down he goes as Lawler makes death jokes. Those are pretty creepy actually. This match is pretty plodding and not much is going on here at all. Sidewalk Slam by Kane gets no cover as he’s broken the sleeper and is in control again.

Top rope clothesline hits and here’s Ric Flair because a title match can’t be clean right? Down goes the referee and Flair won’t leave. What a shocker. Belt to Kane’s face gets a two without much drama at all. Hurricane, Kane’s partner, comes out and beats up Flair but walks into a Pedigree. Kane sits up and it’s on again.

HHH comes off the middle and top rope and neither of them work. Chokeslam is blocked and down goes the referee again. To the floor now and HHH takes a chokeslam through the Spanish Announce Table. Flair comes in with the sledgehammer but Kane stops it. HHH gets a low blow and a hammer shot but walks into a chokeslam. Flair (again) breaks up the pin and takes a chokeslam as a result. Back in and HHH hits the Pedigree to retain and retire the IC Title.

Rating: D. This more or less is what would happen in Raw World Title matches for the vast majority of the next year and a half. HHH would get dominated by a big guy but then Flair and the sledgehammer would come into play and HHH would of course retain. Kane more or less was done for a good while after this as he didn’t get to do anything because it was world title or nothing. That was the stupid part of the whole thing but it took about 9 months for them to realize it. The match sucked due to all of the nonsense in it though.

Kane would team up with Rob Van Dam and win more Tag Team Titles. Here’s a defense from Backlash 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

RVD and Kane are champions. Morley is the guest referee and the corrupt Chief of Staff for Bischoff. The Dudleyz are heel against their will here but it’s the only way they can get a title shot. They’ve also been fighting a bit. Bubba and RVD start us off and it’s power vs. speed. RVD kicks the legs out from under him but Bubba pounds him down with ease. Van Dam tries to flip out of the corner but Bubba takes his head off with a clothesline.

Off to D-Von and Kane with the masked man taking over. Big boot gets two as Morley has been fine so far. Bubba comes back in and gets clotheslined down very quickly. The fans want tables as Bubba manages to knock Kane down. The count seems a little faster there. Spinebuster by Kane gets two and a pretty fast count as well. Van Dam comes back in for some flipping offense, including a moonsault for two.

The rolling monkey flip is countered and Bubba hits a sidewalk slam for one. Kane gets knocked down and What’s Up RVD? D-Von comes back in and gets two as Van Dam is in trouble. Off to a chinlock to fill in some time. Bubba comes back in but gets caught by a spin kick from Van Dam and it’s a double tag to bring in D-Von and Kane. The Dudleys are both in the ring at the same time and Morley is fine with it. Back to RVD who hits Rolling Thunder on Bubba.

The monkey flip is broken up but Kane hits the top rope clothesline to take D-Von down. Morley hits Kane low to break up the chokeslam but it only gets two. Morley clotheslines Bubba by mistake and D-Von beats the tar out of him. Here’s Lance Storm to take out D-Von but he takes a Bubba Bomb. There’s a 3D to Morley and a chokeslam to Bubba. Five Star Frog Splash gets the pin by another referee.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t that terrible but MAN was it overbooked. I completely lost track of what was going on in the middle of the match with who was on what side. Did anyone really care about Morley in 2003? I don’t think anyone did in 2001 so I’m thinking the answer to that is no here. The match was ok but it was a total mess by the end which brings it down.

Something interesting happened in the fall of 2003. Kane put his mask on the line against HHH’s World Title and lost, meaning it was time to see the Big Fried Freak for what he really was. For some reason, Kane was just a normal looking person but thought he looked hideous. He feuded with RVD and Shane McMahon before helping to bury his brother at Survivor Series 2003. Undertaker returned at Wrestlemania XX to fight his brother.

Kane vs. Undertaker

The visual on Kane’s entrance is really cool as the set is designed to look like New York City and it has fire all over it as Kane comes out. Sweet. The lights go out and we get Paul Bear’s Ooooooooooooooooooooooh YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES. Since this is Wrestlemania, we get druids, smoke, and torches. Now we get thunder and lightning and a gong, which gives us the Undertaker. He has shorter hair now which would be his look for the next eight years or so. The entrance, as always, is excellent.

Kane shouts that Undertaker isn’t real and reaches out to touch him, earning the right hands from Undertaker. Undertaker calls for the chokeslam but Kane runs out to the floor. Taker is fine with that and the brawl heads to the floor with the Dead Man in full control. There’s the apron legdrop and we head back inside for a running clothesline in the corner. All Undertaker so far as JR actually tries to push this as a brand vs. brand match. Taker loads up the Last Ride but gets backdropped into the ropes in an awkward looking spot.

Kane chokes away on the mat and talks trash about telling Undertaker to not come back. Undertaker comes back with rights and lefts, only to walk into the side slam. The top rope clothesline crushes Undertaker for a close two. Kane misses a charge in the corner and there’s a big boot to put Kane down. Taker follows it up with a legdrop (BROTHER) and Old School for good measure. Scratch that actually as Kane catches him by the throat and hits the chokeslam. Kane laughs maniacally but Taker sits up to a BIG ovation. The Taker chokeslam and tombstone make Taker I believe 12-0.

Rating: D+. Yeah the match sucked but this was all about the moment and making it clear that Undertaker was back. That worked like a charm here and the match worked quite well for what it was supposed to be. This would of course lead to Paul Bearer being locked in a tomb made of concrete. You don’t see the connection?

Lita would eventually sleep with Kane so he wouldn’t kill Matt Hardy. This led to the two of them being married against Lita’s will. This gave Lita power of attorney or something with Kane, allowing her to sign him up for this match at Unforgiven 2004.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kane

Lita is here against her will. Shawn fires away at Kane and the Big Bald gets beaten to the floor. See, this is why Shawn is great: you can throw him into something like this and it works very well as can anyone question Shawn being in there? Shawn heads to the floor but jumps into an uppercut back inside. Kane misses an elbow due to Shawn moving even though it would have missed by a mile anyway. Out to the floor and Shawn dives over the top to take Kane down.

The lack of a story is hurting it here as it’s just a match with no backstory or anything like that and that’s the meat of any wrestling match. Shawn gets slammed through the table and he bumps like only Shawn can. That only gets two back in the ring because an upper midcard match has to go longer than 5 minutes. A legdrop also gets two. Off to a chinlock to waste some time. The move known as the Punjabi Plunge gets two.

Back to the neck vice which lasts a little longer this time. Shawn finally gets something going and drops Kane with a DDT. Both guys are down so Kane sits up and Shawn nips up almost at the same time. Out to the floor again and a step shot busts Shawn open. Shawn tries to speed things up and knocks a chair out of Kane’s hands but gets knocked down again.

Kane misses a big boot to the post and Shawn sends his head into the steel. Shawn fires away with his usual stuff back in the ring and drops the elbow for no cover. Michaels starts shaking like Terry Funk and it’s time to stomp the mat in an attempt to surprise my opponent. And never mind as Kane kicks his head off for two. Top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam but Shawn hits Kane in the Little Balds.

A big chair shot puts Kane down but Shawn can’t follow up. Since it’s a No DQ match we also have no countouts so the laying around is pretty pointless with no drama at all. Lita steals the chair from Kane and the distraction lets Shawn…miss Sweet Chin Music again but the third attempt hits and it’s good for the pin.

Rating: C. This got almost twenty minutes and while it was a good brawl, I’m not really sure what this proves. Shawn, a bigger star than Kane, beat Kane and that’s it. There’s no story or retribution or anything like that. It was an entertaining enough match but all it really does is advance Lita and Kane a bit more. It would take Gene Snitsky of all people to turn Kane face again.

For the sake of time we’ll skip 2005 and Kane teaming with Big Show. Well most of it at least, as we’ll look at the opening match of Wrestlemania XXII where the monsters would defend the Raw Tag Team Titles.

Raw Tag Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

The monsters are defending here. Kane and Masters start stuff out and the 6’5 Masters looks tiny by comparison. Show headbutts him from the apron before coming in legally for some chops. A poke to Big Show’s eye slows him down and here’s Carlito who is immediately chopped down. Masters is slammed down as well with Show throwing Carlito over the top and out onto Chris.

Kane goes up top and dives onto both guys as the challengers are in trouble. Somewhere in between there the turnbuckle pad has been removed and Show misses a charge, going head first into said buckle. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Show suplexes both guys down with ease. Off to Kane as everything breaks down. Kane pounds away on Carlito in the corner and hits the side slam for no cover.

The top rope clothesline misses Masters though and there’s the Masterlock to Kane. Show breaks it up seconds later but there’s the Backstabber to Kane. The chokeslam is broken up by Masters and Show is sent to the floor. Kane’s double chokeslam attempt is broken up but after causing some heel miscommunication, a solo version to Carlito retains the titles.

Rating: C. Not bad here but this is one of the matches that probably could have been cut for the sake of trimming the show a bit. The match was a squash and not a very interesting one either. That’s the problem with a pair of giants like Big Show and Kane: there’s no one that can stop them and the resulting matches are dull at times. Not bad but it felt like a Raw match.

We’ll skip another big batch of midcard feuds (Umaga, MVP, Great Khali) and move on to Wrestlemania XXIV. Kane is in ECW now and has a title shot against champion Chavo Guerrer Jr.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

In less time than it takes to type “in less time than it takes to type”, Kane chokeslams Chavo and pins him for the title. Match ran about 6 seconds.

Since that was pretty lame, here’s the rematch from Backlash 2008.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Kane is defending after having won the title in 8 seconds at Mania. Chavo has his bodyguard Bam Neely. Edge attacked Kane’s knee on ECW on Tuesday so the champ is coming in injured. Chavo goes for the knee so Kane hits him in the face. The low dropkick hits Chavo’s face but it hurts the knee even more. Kane chokes Chavo over his back and hits a gorilla press to follow up. Guerrero finally takes the knee out and sends him face first into the buckle.

They head outside but Kane catches Chavo in the air and rams his back into the barricade. They head back in but Kane has his knee kicked out to give the challenger control. Neely gets in some shots and we go back in. Adamle is totally lost in calling this, getting basic things wrong and even having Tazz make fun of him. Chavo goes up but winds up on Kan’e shoulders for an electric chair drop.

Both guys are down now but Chavo kicks the knee out again. Kane is all cool with that and grabs him by the throat. That gets released so it’s a big boot to the face instead. Side slam gets two and Adamle actually called it the right name. He’s getting a little better at least. Kane goes up and hits the top rope clothesline for two. Chavo goes up as well and a missile dropkick gets two. He takes out the knee again but goes up, only to get caught in a chokeslam position. Chavo escapes but the Frog Splash is caught in the chokeslam for the pin and Kane retains.

Rating: C-. Not much here but it wasn’t that bad I guess. Kane needed to get a clean win here instead of making it look like a fluke/meaningless win as it was at Mania, but at the end of the day there’s almost no way you can spin Chavo as a credible threat to someone like Kane. Not a great match but it could have been a lot worse.

Kane would head back to Raw soon after this and become a monster again. One of his first targets was Rey Mysterio, who he would face at Cyber Sunday 2008.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

The options are 2/3 falls, no holds barred or falls count anywhere. This is during the Kane is psycho phase #18 or so this year. No holds barred wins but it’s rather close. Both guys charge early as the ropes are red, white, red. That’s a very odd combination. Rey busts out a kendo stick and some other stuff which doesn’t work. The big guy hits a baseball slide into Rey into the post which looked cool.

This angle was never really explained other than Kane didn’t like the mask. I have never been able to get into this feud at all and I still can’t now. It makes Kane look like a bumbling idiot when he barely ever beats a guy the size of Rey. At least he got the clean win last week at Summerslam. Kane’s rest holds look awful here as it looks like his arms are just on Rey with no pressure at all.

We hear about his big heart and I continue to say he needs to see a cardiologist about that. More stuff on the back as this is just dull. Rey makes his standard comeback and hits an enziguri that just happens to put Kane on the middle rope. They remember that this is a no holds barred match and Kane gets a chair. Rey is swashbuckling now. Oh dear. Where’s Paul Burchill when you really need him?

Rey hits a chair shot and Kane is up at one. He jumps into Kane’s uppercut for two as Kane is controlling again. We bring in the stairs as this really isn’t much of anything at all. The weapons use is helping a bit but it’s still weak. Drop toehold into the steps and a seated senton gets two. The chair shots set up the 619 which is countered again. Third time it and the springboard splash end it.

Rating: D. Yawn. These two are just completely boring together. What a shock: Rey beats a monster that on paper he shouldn’t have a chance against. These matches were so predictable and I’ve never been able to get into them. Also, this was supposed to be a no holds barred match and it just failed for the most part on that front. Bad match overall.

We’ll skip 2009 when Kane was doing nothing on Smackdown and head to Money in the Bank 2010, where Kane is in the Smackdown MITB match.

Smackdown Money in the Bank

Kofi is probably the favorite here but I just don’t see him getting it. Ziggler….no. Christian is the smark favorite but I doubt it, likely causing him to further his heel turn. Rhodes is out next with his sounding like Living on a Prayer music. Hardy kind of gets a pop. Drew is the likely favorite here. Don’t expect a lot of commentary here as it’s mainly just a bunch of insane spots. I’d like to see Kane win but that’s not likely. Show is out last, sans mega ladder.

Everyone jumps the big guys to start which makes sense. That of course doesn’t work so we continue one of the longest running feuds in company history. Those two have interacted on and off for over 11 years. Everyone not big and bald goes away for some reason. They’ve been gone for like a minute now and the ring is empty. Show tries to find his own ladder and everyone gang jumps on him.

Everyone is on the floor now and Show has a bad knee. We need a Public Enemy video explaining how to climb a ladder a la Mike Whipwreck. Matt almost gets there but Christian makes the save which the fans don’t seem to like. I always get scared in matches like these. They’re so freaking dangerous. In the words of JR, how do you learn to fall off a 20 foot ladder? Where do you find a 20 foot ladder? If these are 20 feet tall then Kofi apparently stands about 10’2.

Everyone is doing the one person climbs and then one person stops it while the rest do nothing of note. Christian is about to be pushed to the floor but he uses an ancient Chinese technique to save himself from maximum pain: he jumps off. Why has no one done that before? Matt and Christian team up for about as long as Dennis Rodman was married to Carmen Electra. Wow I’m old.

We go back to what we started with as everyone goes after the big guys whenever they start. That’s some storytelling so I can’t complain there. Drew cleans house, sending Cody into the post after a brief dash. I’ll stop the puns on his name now. There must be like 8 ladders everywhere. Kane goes after Drew and rips up both tables. Make sure you move the monitors in your insane rage Kane. There’s a good employee.

No one is in the ring again. Drew is on the announce table and Kofi looks up at the huge ladder. The ring posts are green and the ropes are white. It’s a very Irish looking ring. Kofi hits the Boom Drop to more or less murder Drew and kill himself. Ziggler almost gets it but Show shoves the ladder down and Dolph hits it on the way down. Striker says there has never been a giant in MITB. Uh, hogwash but whatever.

Show splashes a ladder with Christian and Matt under it. Just call him the Giant again. They say that like 4 times in a row without saying Big Show. It’s mega ladder time. The ladder weighs more than Kane apparently and could hold 7 of the 8 people in this match. And he can’t get it in the ring. There is little funnier than unintentional comedy. So after spending three days setting it up, Rhodes makes the save by hitting him in the knee with a step ladder.

Cody’s face and head slams into the ladder. I think it does at least. Either way it looked great. This whole no one is up thing is really annoying. Kofi goes Shelton and springboards up to the big ladder while Show takes forever to get up (his knee is hurt though so that’s fine). Cody hits a SWEET dropkick to stop him from going up. We need more people in this at once though.

We bust out the finishers on the ladder and Kofi, Show, Dolph and Cody are all in the ring. Matt, Kane and Christian have been gone for like ever. At least Drew was taken down in a huge spot. This is already a 20 minute match. Kane shoves over the super ladder and Show goes over the top rope. The other guys pile ladders on top of Show which is a smart idea actually and a fairly innovative idea.

The midcard squad stops Kane and we get a fight between Matt and Cody. This has to be the end. Cody is almost there but Kane saves. It’s Kane by himself but Dolph gets the sleeper on him for like a second but can’t get it. There’s the full sleeper. Kane does exactly what I thought he should do and ducks his head a bunch of times, ramming it into the ladder.

This is a LONG match, probably the longest of all the MITB matches. I’d call Drew winning since he’s been gone for such a long time, although that isn’t much of a limb to go out on. Kofi gets chokeslammed on the pile of ladders. Kane and Cody go up the ramp to a MITB armored truck. Kane comes back to stop Matt as we’re almost at 30 minutes. Matt has it but Christian is right there. Huge freaking spot coming. They’re both standing on top of the ladder and there they go off of it.

Everyone is dead and here comes Drew. Kane comes back and it’s save time. Downw he goes and HOLY GOODNESS KANE WINS! He does the fire out of the corners thing from the mega ladder in an AWESOME visual. I’m a huge Kane fan so this is awesome to me.

Rating: C+. MITB is a match with an altered scale as by definition it’s awesome. This was kind of subpar as there were FAR too many spots where people just did nothing at all and were just laying around. Drew was down for about 15 minutes straight. Points for being surprising though and maybe he’ll cash in tonight. This is fun though as Kane has been both unpredictable and cool at the same time so this is good. I’m very happy so far.

From later in the show.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Rey tries to run but Kane hits a chokeslam and then a Tombstone. YES! KANE IS WORLD CHAMPION!!!!!! Screw any kind of unbiasedness or whatever. THIS IS AWESOME!

Rating: A+. The tiny man loses and Kane is world champion. This is GREAT!

Kane would, say it with me, turn heel again soon, this time attacking his brother (again) over Labor Day weekend. This set up Kane vs. Undertaker in Hell in a Cell at the namesake PPV in 2010.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Undertaker

Taker coming out with Paul Bearer just feels….right. They brawl outside of the Cell to start and Kane controls. Apparently this is before the match starts. Ah there we go. There’s the bell. Kane gets a chair from under the ring and beats the tar out of Taker. We fight on the floor again and this is more of a brawl than a match WHICH IS THE FREAKING IDEA. Lots of leg work by Kane which makes sense here.

A big boot eats cage though and Kane is in trouble. Taker hits the leg drop on the apron but Kane gets his low dropkick. The boo/yay stuff starts up as this is kind of a boring match. Old School is attempted so Kane hits him in the leg. Top rope clothesline connects but Taker grabs Hell’s Gate. Kane clearly taps but no one calls it. It’s not completely on and Kane gets to the floor to escape.

We get a double sit up and Taker’s eyes are awesome. More boo/yay stuff as neither can get control. Running DDT by Taker gets two. Chokeslam hits for Taker as his knee is fine all of a sudden. Kane does the same for two. Kane goes for ten punches in the corner, you know the counter, and it gets two as well. WOW that was a horrible powerbomb. Kane reverses a Tombstone into one of his own and the crowd is into it.

And there’s an uppercut for the slow counting referee. The referees come down to get him out so Bearer can slip inside. Bearer goes after Kane and Taker sits up. He gets another chokeslam and does the throat slit sign. The lightning and thunder kick on and a light comes out of the urn. Bearer shines it in Taker’s eyes and we have a standoff. Bearer of course hands it to Kane and Taker, like the idiot that he is, stands there and gets his head bashed in by Kane who hits a chokeslam to retain. A closeup of his face on the ramp ends the show.

Rating: D. Just like the previous match this was a horrible Cell match but not a terrible match overall. The problem again is the lack of violence and the lack of use of the Cell. However this one was even weaker in those areas than the first one, somehow making Sheamus vs. Orton far better. As I said that one would have been a very good street fight but this would have been boring no matter what.

These two getting 20+ minutes is just not a good idea. Their best match ever was two weeks ago when it was just a big freaking brawl. Them trying to have psychology in their matches and the leg work is always bad and this was no exception. For once though the heel turn makes sense so points for that. Seriously though, how stupid is Taker for trusting Bearer AGAIN? Did he say, “Hey Paul, sorry about that whole burying you alive stuff. We’re solid right?” The heel turn was logical here so I’m fine with that at least. Rating would have been about the same Cell or no Cell.

We’ll make another big jump over 2011 for Kane and Big Show teaming again, as well as EMBRACE THE HATE Kane in early 2012. Instead we’ll stop at Wrestlemania XXVIII for a match against Randy Orton.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane had recently put the mask back on again and went after Orton to prove that he’s still evil because last summer he lost a street fight to Orton and then shook his hand. Why is it Orton who gets these months and years long backstories? The opener didn’t quite have its intended effect as the fans are chanting for Daniel Bryan. Kane takes over to start but the chokeslam is broken up by kicks to the ribs. Orton gets him down and stomps away but Kane reverses the Elevated DDT (called a bulldog by Cole) and takes over with a big boot.

Kane’s low dropkick gets a near fall and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and they slug it out with Randy taking over. Kane will have none of that though and clotheslines Randy down for two. The side slam gets two more and it’s back to the chinlock. A swinging neckbreaker out of nowhere puts Kane down but the monster hits a vertical suplex for another two count. Off to chinlock #3 as the match slows down again.

Orton backflips out of another side slam and his backbreaker puts Kane down for a bit. There’s the powerslam and Orton is getting fired up. Kane goes shoulder first into the post and now the Elevated DDT hits (again called a bulldog by Cole). The RKO is countered into a big boot for two more for Kane but the top rope clothesline is blocked by a dropkick. Orton loads up the Punt but walks into a chokeslam for a close two. Another RKO is countered and Kane goes to the middle rope. Orton tries a superplex but Kane shrugs him off and hits a middle rope chokeslam for the upset win.

Rating: B-. I had always wanted to see these two have a match and I was pleased when I finally saw it. Kane can have a good match on a big stage when he needs to and that’s what he did here. Orton is bulletproof so it’s not like losing here means anything of note. This was a nice surprise and a good match with a big ending.

Kane would eventually team up with Daniel Bryan to form HELL NO. The two would become Tag Team Champions and defend them at Royal Rumble 2013.

Tag Titles: HELL NO vs. Rhodes Scholars

The Scholars are challenging. Cody kicks Bryan in the ribs as Cole references Queen lyrics. Bryan spins out of a wristlock and the fans chant for Cody’s mustache. Cody’s leapfrog is countered into a surfboard and it’s off to Kane for a low dropkick and a two count. Rhodes scores with a dropkick of his own and drives Kane into the corner for the tag off to Sandow. Kane easily powers Sandow into the corner because, you know, he’s Damien Sandow and it’s off to Bryan for the YES Kicks.

JBL rants about Cole and Lawler hugging as Kane kicks Sandow in the face, knocking him out to the floor. The FLYING GOAT takes out the challengers but Cody low bridges Bryan to the floor to take over. Back in and a half crab has Daniel in trouble but he reverses into a small package to escape. Damien comes in again and drops an elbow for two before dropping the Wind-Up Elbow.

After some knees to the back it’s Cody in again but he charges into a boot in the corner. Sandow breaks up a hot tag attempt and Cody puts Bryan in an over the shoulder backbreaker. Daniel slides down to escape and makes the tag to Kane. Sandow is tossed around like a rag doll but a Cody distraction prevents the top rope clothesline. Kane grabs both guys by the throat and Bryan tags himself in. The Scholars double suplex Kane but Bryan shoves Cody into a chokeslam and Daniel YES Locks Sandow to retain.

Rating: C. Nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw around this time which means it was fine. The Scholars were a nice idea for a team but it was clear that they had no chance at this point given how low their individual stocks were. Kane and Bryan gelled perfectly well as a team and Bryan would get far bigger very soon.

We’ll FINALLY wrap it up with Smackdown on June 14, 2013. I don’t think this needs an introduction.

Shield vs. HELL NO/Randy Orton

Rollins starts with Bryan and pounds him down into the corner, only to have Bryan come back with kicks to the chest of his own. Kane comes in with a low dropkick and suplex for two each. Off to Orton for some headbutts to Ambrose in the corner before it’s back to Bryan. Rollins comes in and fires off elbows to the head before Ambrose gets the tag for a dragon sleeper. Bryan hits some knees to the head and one to the ribs to escape before bringing Orton back in to clean house.

Ambrose and Rollins break up the Elevated DDT before Rollins hits an enziguri for two. We take a break and come back with Orton being elbowed down for two. It’s back to Reigns who pounds on Orton’s head but gets caught in the Orton backbreaker to give Randy a breather. Reigns misses a charge into the post and it’s off to Kane vs. Ambrose with the big man getting two off a side slam.

Kane misses the top rope clothesline and stumbled into the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel hits the springboard missile dropkick on Ambrose and gives Reigns and Rollins a dropkick each. FLYING GOAT puts the tag champions and Rollins takes a pair of dropkicks in the corner for two. Bryan kicks the tag champions down again but can only get two on Seth.

Ambrose delays the swan dive and allows Rollins to roll away at the last minute. Kane and Ambrose go to the floor but Reigns spears Orton down. Kane avoids a spear from Roman and chokeslams Dean onto Reigns on the floor. Rollins hits the buckle bomb but Kane shoves him off the top into the RKO. Bryan throws on the NO Lock and THEY DID IT! Rollins taps out at 13:48 and the Shield loses for the first time ever.

Rating: B+. The ending was INSANE and a great bit of storytelling as HELL NO and Orton finally learned from their past mistakes and made the adjustments to beat the Shield. That is a huge win for Bryan as he is looking more and more like a star every day. They had to lose eventually and while I’d question doing it on Smackdown, the moment was awesome and the place went nuts at the ending.

As I’m sure you can see, Kane has been around for SO long that you just have to cut stuff out. I skipped several years and I think this is the most matches I’ve ever done for a person in this series. The guy has been around forever and is good in his role as the monster that you beat before moving on to a bigger feud. Yeah he’s gotten old at times, but the guy being around for so long is really impressive.

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It’s time for the post Wrestlemania European tour and things are in a big state of flux right now. Aside from the disastrous stock news on Friday, tonight we find out the fate of the WWE Championship due to Daniel Bryan being sidelined several months with neck surgery. The show was taped earlier in the day but I’ve avoided spoilers. Let’s get to it.

The Wyatts are in the ring to open the show and Bray sings the song as the fans all wave their phones for a pretty awesome visual. Bray talks about people laying his head down to sleep which is when everyone sees themselves as a superhero that can fix all the wrongs of the world and dream of payback. Then we wake up and see that we’re not really superheroes that can fix anything.

We kid ourselves by saying everything is fine but everything is wrong. Bray used to have this teacher that looked down on him and went to great measures to tell him that he was a piece of trash. She believed that everything she read in a book was true and everything he said was a lie. One day he went up to her and asked why she thought she was so much better than him. Was it because her parents paid for her to go to a school and waive her degree around, filling his head with propaganda?

Bray didn’t accept that so she told him that he was an evil boy. That woman is now in a retirement home while he’s here as the speaker of 1000 truths with the whole world in his hands. The fans start singing again and Bray loves it. That is his payback for the teacher that told him he was wrong. His tongue is the scorpion’s tail and he offers to save men like John Cena but John hides behind his false bravado.

The fans think Cena sucks and Bray promises to end this fairy tale at Payback. He’ll be the last man standing or no man will ever stand again. Tonight Luke Harper is going to put John Cena down. This brings out Cena, but he comes through the crowd to get at Bray as Harper and Rowan go to the aisle. Bray gets caught in the AA before Harper and Rowan can chase him off.

We recap Daniel Bryan being attacked by Kane last week and Stephanie saying how sorry she was. We’ll get the update on the title later tonight.

Here are Cesaro and Heyman with something to say. Heyman says the people in the ring are the stars while the fans are the wannabes. They should worship the mic he uses as he talks about Brock conquer the Streak. The fans finish the line for him so Heyman lays on the ground, asking who he is. “No I’m not your queen finally dead. I’M THE UNDERTAKER AT WRESTLEMANIA! EXCEPT I CAN GET UP!”

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Non-title. Sheamus isn’t exactly popular in England. Cesaro takes him into the corner to start for a slap to the face but Cesaro bails to the floor before the ten forearms can get started. Back in and the ten forearms connect, but Cesaro bails to the floor again. They head back inside for some uppercuts from Cesaro as a JBL chant starts up. Sheamus comes back with the slingshot shoulder and the crowd has switched to JERRY. Cesaro sidesteps a charge to send Sheamus to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro ramming in knees to the ribs and putting on a sleeper. Sheamus quickly fights out with some shots to the ribs and the ax handles to the face. Not that it matters as Sheamus misses a charge into the post and Cesaro takes over again. The superplex from the apron gets two but Cesaro charges into the Irish Curse.

Sheamus hits the rolling fireman’s carry for another two and they have a hard slugout. Cesaro sends the Irishman chest first into the buckle and catches him coming off the top with the uppercut for two. Sheamus makes a quick comeback but gets distracted by Heyman, allowing Cesaro to grab a German suplex for the pin at 12:36.

Rating: C+. Two weeks. He’s been champion TWO WEEKS and he’s already getting pinned in the ring on Raw. Do they just want the titles to mean nothing at all or is this some massive rib that we don’t get? Yeah it’s Cesaro, but was there NO OTHER WAY to set up whatever they’re doing here?

Post match Cesaro won’t shake hands.

Shield vs. Evolution at Payback is now anything goes and an elimination match. We get a video of the end of last week’s show.

Big E. vs. Ryback

This is the first of eight Beat the Clock challenges. The winner in the fastest time gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Payback. Ryback runs Big E. over to start but E. shoves him into the corner with ease. A missed charge allows Ryback to take over again and stomp away before getting two off a suplex. Some hard elbows in the corner have Big E. in more trouble and a big driving shoulder puts him down again. Big E. grabs a belly to belly suplex for another two but Ryback nails a spinebuster and beats on his chest. The Meathook gets two but Big E. slips out of a powerbomb, setting up the Big Ending for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: D+. Not great here but it’s nice to see Big E. get a win like this. I can’t imagine that the time is going to hold up over the course of eight matches, but at it’s not a terrible time. I’m not sure who all they’re going to put into the challenge to have sixteen guys, but it might help get some people on television.

Some special Olympians trained at the WWE Performance Center. That’s always cool.

R-Truth/Trinity vs. Fandango/Layla

Fandango gets a BIG reaction, at least partially due to having the British Layla with him. Before the match, a LIVID Summer Rae storms out to the ring and kisses Fandango before getting into a catfight with Layla. No match.

Bolieve! This week on Smackdown.

We get Daniel Bryan’s music but it’s Stephanie coming out doing the YES pose. She says the fans should be chanting YES right now because Daniel Bryan is at home convalescing. She says she’s got some…well she’ll let someone else say it. We get a quick montage of Barrett saying he has BAD NEWS before we get a horrible imitation from Stephanie.

She’s thinking about stripping Bryan of the title and awarding it to Kane. Or she could strip him of the title and award it to Bad News Barrett. How about to Batista? Seriously though, if anyone is deserving, it should be HHH. In all seriousness though, Bryan won’t be stripped of the title. Instead, Bryan has to show up next week on Raw and surrender the title because it’s best for business. In other words, no real news this week.

Here are the Union Jacks, more commonly known as 3MB. Here’s his opponent.

Rusev vs. Heath Slater

Before the match Lana talks about how great Putin is and how the Soviet Union will take over England and America. Slater tries to dive on Rusev but all three Jacks are destroyed. We hed inside for the opening bell and pain quickly comes to Slater. There’s the spinning slam and the Accolade gets the submission at 38 seconds.

Shield still wants to know if that was Evolution’s best shot. Reigns is sporting a black eye from a match against Orton over the weekend. Rollins is ready for Batista tonight.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam

Another Beat the Clock match with the time at 5:02. They trade some quick rollups for two each to start before Del Rio gets a quick suplex for two. Del Rio kicks him to the floor as we’ve got 3:30 to go in the clock. Back in and we hit the chinlock on RVD before he comes back with some lame clotheslines.

They seem to get mixed up with Van Dam wanting Rolling Thunder but Alberto being too close, forcing Rob into a legdrop instead. Del Rio comes back with a Backstabber for two but Van Dam kicks out of the armbreaker. A running flip splash keeps Del Rio down but the Five Star misses. A rolling cradle gets two for Alberto but he misses the low superkick, giving Rob the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C-. This is the problem with Beat the Clock: the matches don’t have time to go anywhere and people keep having to try for fast pins instead of giving the match a chance to build. These two don’t really have the best chemistry either, making the whole thing kind of mess. Fine from a technical standpoint but not much else.

We look back at the opening segment.

Cena is in the back and says he’ll have the Usos in his corner again tonight. At Payback, he’ll have to face a crowd full of Bray Wyatt’s followers. The three of them start rhythmically beating on their chests and do the We Say Us bit. This was rather strange.

Evolution is ready for Payback and tells Batista to take Rollins out.

Seth Rollins vs. Batista

Shield is banned from ringside, but HHH is guest ring announcer. His first announcement: Randy Orton is guest timekeeper. Rollins introduces Reigns and Ambrose as the special guest commentators to even things out. Batista hammers away to start but Rollins takes him into the corner for a quick stomping. Batista rams him into the apron as Ambrose is toying with JBL on commentary. Rollins escapes a powerslam and we take a break.

Back with Batista kicking Rollins out to the floor but holding his elbow in the corner. Evolution gets a bit too close to Rollins and Shield stands up to stop them. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Rollins before a hard elbow to the jaw gets two. Rollins fights back by shoving Batista off the ropes and nailing a running sleeper drop. A running dropkick puts Big Dave on the floor and there’s a nice suicide dive to take him down again.

Orton teases getting involved, drawing Ambrose and Reigns off commentary. Rollins misses the springboard knee to the head and gets caught by the spinebuster. Dave charges into a boot though and the springboard knee gets a VERY close two. Seth goes up again but gets shoved off the top, triggering a brawl on the floor. Ambrose runs across the announcers’ tables to take out HHH but gets caught by Orton. Rollins comes over to go after HHH but gets caught by a right hand, drawing the DQ at 13:42.

Rating: B-. I was digging this match but it’s a smart move to not have anyone job in the end. Rollins looked on equal footing with Batista out there, which is way more than I would have expected from him. Shield has looked completely equal to Evolution throughout this entire feud and that’s a GREAT sign.

Batista gets speared post match but a HHH distraction saves him from the Triple Bomb.

Alicia Fox vs. Paige

Non-title. Alicia kicks her right in the face to start but gets kicked in the chest and headbutted for her efforts. Fox bails to the floor but catches Paige coming out and rams her into the barricade. Back in and Fox leans over Paige for a slap to the face before sending Paige into the corner. Paige gets caught with a backbreaker into the corner and a kick to the ribs, allowing Fox to grab a deep cover for the pin at 3:32. Just like that.

Rating: D. Sheamus was bad enough. At the end of the day, this is still Alicia Fox. I think that’s about enough for the explanation.

Fox freaks out again post match, but this time due to happiness. She puts Lawler’s crown on to celebrate this time.

Luke Harper calls Cena a mouse that will be eaten by a snake. Bray says the Usos are dominoes that will be knocked over.

Mark Henry vs. Dolph Ziggler

Beat the Clock again with the time set at 4:15. Apparently this is the final match in the competition so I have no idea what Cole was talking about with eight. It’s not even eight people. Henry runs Ziggler over to start and suplexes him down as we’re already down to three minutes. Dolph falls to the floor but gets back in at eight. Ziggler hits what was supposed to be a Fameasser but looked more like a Rough Ryder for two.

Henry throws him outside again but Ziggler comes back with a quick dropkick. 90 seconds left. Another dropkick puts Henry down and we’ve got less than a minute to go. Dolph heads up top but gets caught in a powerslam for two. He loads up the World’s Strongest Slam but takes too long, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag. Time runs out though at 4:15 and Van Dam wins the challenge.

Rating: D+. This was an awkward match with both guys missing a few moves here and there. Van Dam winning the challenge is fine as he’ll get a good match out of Barrett. Ziggler winning would have been fine as well so there wasn’t a bad choice out of either guy here. The match didn’t work though.

Van Dam comes out and gets caught by a Bull Hammer from Barrett. Bad News sucks up to the London crowd and says there’s no way this Englishman is losing to a Yank. Rule Britannia plays Barrett out.

Renee Young brings out Adam Rose for a chat as JBL goes on a huge rant about how much he hates bunnies. Rose wants to know where his cheeseburger is and we’ve got a man named Ethan in a cheeseburger shirt. Rose: “He’s got sesame seeds on his buns. We’re taking him to the doctor next week.” The fans cut off the interview to sing the song (JBL: “STOP IT LONDON! THAT BUNNY COULD HAVE FLEAS!”) before Renee asks why Rose has targeted Swagger and Colter. He just wants them to stop being “grumpy pantses.”

Rose has the bunny dance (JBL: “Euthanize the bunny right now.”) but here are Swagger and Colter to interrupt. Colter wants to know what Rose’s deal is and even asks Swagger to stand back. He calls Rose the thing that is bringing America down and he’ll bring England down too. Colter wants to have a fight with Rose but Jack gets in a cheap shot. He goes after some of the members of the party but Rose is back up for the save.

Bolieve!

John Cena vs. Luke Harper

The Usos are here to counter Rowan and Harper and the phones come out for Bray’s entrance again. That’s quite a cool looking sight. The fans start the dueling chants as Cena hits a bulldog and a big boot to the face gets two. Harper gets in a shot of his own for two as we take our final break. Back with Harper knocking Cena down again before kicking him in the face for two. There’s the Gator Roll and a suplex gets another two count.

We get the singing John Cena Sucks chant as Cena comes back with the ProtoBomb but Harper is ready for the Shuffle and catches Cena in a German suplex. Harper misses a big boot and falls out to the floor, only to get caught in another ProtoBomb. Now the Shuffle connects but Luke escapes the AA and slams Cena face first for two. Harper busts out a dropkick of all things to send Cena to the floor, setting up a suicide dive.

Back in and Cena grabs a tornado DDT for two but gets caught by a superkick for an even closer near fall. Harper busts out a torture rack neckbreaker of all things but stops to look at Bray for support. Cena comes right back with the STF but Harper makes it into the ropes. The Usos take out Rowan and Bray but Wyatt pops up and hits a pair of Sister Abigails. He goes for Cena but gets low bridged, allowing Harper to hit a Michinoku Driver for another two. A quick AA connects but Rowan comes in for the DQ at 12:36.

Rating: C+. This was getting good but you knew there was no way Cena was jobbing here so there were only a few choices to end the match. Harper continues to look awesome in the ring as a power brawler and will certainly have a solid career once he’s no longer dealing with Bray anymore.

With the Usos down, Cena takes Sister Abigail as well and they take him up to the stage. Another Sister Abigail on the stage lays Cena out again. Bray sings while Harper slowly counts to ten to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Stupid booking of midcard champions aside, this worked well enough for the first part. I really could have done without the bait and switch for the title announcement but that’s what you come to expect from WWE. There was some decent enough stuff tonight and the Evolution vs. Shield segment was great. It’s right in the middle so the average grade seems to fit.

Results
Cesaro b. Sheamus – German suplex
Big E. b. Ryback – Big Ending
Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade
Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup
Seth Rollins b. Batista via DQ when HHH interfered
Alicia Fox b. Paige – Kick to the ribs
Dolph Ziggler vs. Mark Henry went to a time limit draw
John Cena b. Luke Harper via DQ when Erick Rowan interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today is a very complete entry. You might even call it the Total Package. Or Lex Luger.

Southern Heavyweight Title: Bad News Allen vs. Lex Luger

Allen tried to claim a bounty put on Luger’s head by Oliver Humperdink to set this up. Luger jumps him to start but misses an elbow drop, giving Allen control in the corner. They head outside for some chair shots from Bad News but Luger comes back by sending him into the post.

Back in and Luger gets choked against the ropes to give the challenger control again. This time though it’s Bad News missing an elbow drop and Luger takes over again. Luger yells at Humperdink on the floor but catches Allen with an atomic drop. Out of nowhere, Luger misses a charge into the corner and gets rolled up with Allen’s feet on the ropes for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This was more of an angle than a match but the ending happened way too fast. Luger was brand new at this point so he wasn’t able to do much besides just flex and hit a few clotheslines. Unfortunately that would plague him for several years but we’ll get to that later on.

Luger would be on the big show soon after this and immediately start feuding with the Horsemen. This led to the one of the biggest matches on the first Clash of the Champions.

World Tag Team Titles: Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Lex Luger/Barry Windham

Anderson and Blanchard are defending and Windham and Luger are incredibly popular due to the Horsemen (the champions) kicking him out of the team for reasons explained earlier. Luger starts with Tully and pushes him down with ease. The champions try some double teaming but both get clotheslined followed by a powerslam to Blanchard. Lex puts Tully in his Torture Rack finisher but Anderson kicks Luger in the knee for the save. Arn comes in and goes after the knee before it’s back to Tully for more of the same.

Lex sends the Horsemen into each other and Tully can’t stop the hot tag to Windham. Barry cleans house and hits the lariat followed by a powerslam for two on Blanchard. Ross is losing his mind on commentary as only he can. A sleeper nearly puts Blanchard out but Barry lets him fall to the floor for a breather. Back in and Tully goes up but gets slammed down and put in an abdominal stretch. Arn makes the save and Horsemen manager JJ Dillon distracts the referee, allowing Anderson to DDT Windham for a very close two.

Anderson tries to hold Windham’s shoulder down for two but jumps in the air, allowing Barry to raise his knees and crotch Arn for a breather. Tully breaks up another tag attempt but gets caught by a cross body for two. They run the ropes a few times and collide, knocking both guys down to the mat. A gutwrench suplex puts Tully down again and it’s back to Anderson who misses a knee drop and gets popped with a right hand. Windham is spent though and collapses before making the tag.

Tully comes in again and hits his slingshot suplex finisher for a close two on Barry. Anderson comes in off the tag but Barry goes over to the corner and falls into the tag to Luger. Lex cleans house again and sends the champions into each other but Tully gets in a knee to the back to slow him down. Luger shrugs it off and snaps off the powerslam as everything breaks down. Dillon holds up a chair in the corner but Luger reverses a whip to send Arn head first into the steel for the pin and the titles. The crowd reaction for the pin is other worldly as the Horsemen were despised at this point.

Rating: B. This was the kind of match the show needed to make it historic as the Horsemen had held the titles for months on end and Luger was the man that needed to take them away. Barry was making the match work here before Luger came in to clean house at the end. That’s a good formula for someone like Luger and the result worked well.

Luger continued to rocket up the card, eventually getting into a major feud with Ric Flair. After their first showdown at the 1988 Great American Bash, they met again at Starrcade 1988.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger

Speaking of Dusty being fired, since he knew that he was going to be gone as both a wrestler and the booker soon after this, he tried to mess with his real life rival Ric Flair before leaving. The original plan for this match was to have the Varsity Club jump Luger and have Rick Steiner, who remember is basically mentally handicapped, beat Flair for the world title in five minutes. As you can guess, that’s not what happens but it’s an example of what happens when personal issues get in the way of the booking.

If Flair is disqualified here, he loses the title. Flair WOO’s in Luger’s face to start before strutting around a bit. No contact in the first minute or so. Flair hits some chops before being clotheslined out to the floor by the much stronger Luger. Legendary wrestler Lou Thesz is in the audience. Back in and Flair tries a hammerlock but is easily overpowered into the ropes.

Another clothesline puts Flair down and he hides in the corner for a breather. A powerslam puts Ric down again and there’s a gorilla press for good measure. Off to a wristlock by Luger before he no sells a chop. Flair is sent arm first into the buckle and it’s off to a hammerlock by the challenger. Back up and Ric FINALLY pokes him in the eye to get himself a breather. Flair tries the chops again and Luger just yells at him. Those chops never worked on guys like Luger and Sting but Flair never learned.

They head to the floor with Luger cranking Flair’s arm around the barricade to injure it even more. Back to the armbar by Luger as this has been one sided so far. Back up and another clothesline puts Flair down for one and Flair rolls to the apron. There’s a suplex back inside for another near fall on the champion. Luger isn’t getting frustrated yet but he misses a jumping elbow drop to slow him down.

Back to the floor with Flair sending him face first into the barricade and chopping away which actually has an effect now. They go back inside and Flair stomps on the ribs but tries more chops which just wake Luger up. Lex puts on a sleeper but gets suplexed right back down to give both guys a breather. The Figure Four is countered into a small package for two by the challenger, followed by a superplex for two more.

Now Luger puts the figure four on Flair but the champion eventually makes it into the ropes. Lex pounds away in the corner but accidentally knocks the referee down. Flair uses the distraction to rake Luger’s eyes and throw him over the top, but Luger dives back in for a clothesline for two. Lex pounds away in the corner and sends him into the other corner for the Flair Flip. Another suplex gets another two on the champion but the referee gets taken down again.

Luger hits another powerslam but doesn’t cover for some reason. To be fair the guy never has been all that bright. He calls for the Rack but a JJ Dillon distraction lets Flair hit Luger in the leg with a chair to completely change momentum. Back in and Flair cannonballs down onto the leg as Luger is in BIG trouble. Flair kicks him in the knee and drops his own knee on Luger’s bad knee before putting on the Figure Four. Luger sits up and flexes his muscles before turning the hold over for a break. The leg is badly damaged though so Luger’s explosiveness is gone.

Flair goes up but Luger manages to slam him off the top on just one good leg. Luger no sells a right hand to the head and is all fired up again. There’s another gorilla press slam but the knee goes out as he turns Flair over. Flair sends him out to the floor again but Lex comes back in with a sunset flip for two. Luger flexes again but pounds Flair down in the corner on pure adrenaline. A clothesline gets two and there’s another powerslam. Luger calls for the Rack but after he gets Flair up, the knee gives out and Flair falls on top, throws his feet on the ropes for additional leverage, and retains the title.

Rating: A. This is an excellent match with an excellent story being told. Luger was such a natural athletic machine that he would never stop going on pure athleticism alone and eventually his body gave out on him, giving Flair the win. These two had great chemistry together and would always have good if not great matches together. Excellent main event here and well worthy of closing out the biggest show of the year.

Going into 1989, Luger picked up his old rivalry with Barry Windham over Windham’s US Title. Here’s their showdown from Chi-Town Rumble.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Lex Luger

Barry turned on Lex months ago to join the Horsemen and this is the revenge match. Barry is also champion. The champion says he’s going to beat up Lex. Matsuda is with him as well, as he’s been with every heel tonight. They exchange shoulder blocks and no one moves. Lex no sells a suplex and throws Windham around as only Luger can. Windham suplexes him back in but can’t grab the Claw. It’s gotten a bit stronger since Dusty stayed in it for about five minutes last show.

Lex’s eye is busted a bit due to right hands. Out to the floor again and Barry manages to punch the post. It busts open Windham’s hand and injures him to the point that the Claw is worthless. Oh please like that’s the case after last year’s Bash. A powerslam gets two. Barry is like screw it and goes for the superplex but Lex gets up at two. Barry isn’t sure what to do now so he goes for a belly to back and it’s the ending where Lex gets his shoulder up first to win the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent here but there were a lot of times on here where I wasn’t sure what the appeal of it was. Lex would go on for a huge run with the title, holding it nearly two years. Barry would be in the WWF by about Mania time so this was his last hurrah in the NWA, at least for a few years.

Luger would turn heel soon after this before defending his US Title against Ricky Steamboat at the 1989 Great American Bash.

US Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Lex Luger

Steamboat brings a komodo dragon with him for no apparent reason. Luger is WAY over even though he’s the heel here as he’s against probably the purest face ever. Luger says either make it a standard match or he’s walking. The promoter comes in and says Steamboat is more or less stuck so he says screw it and goes with what Luger says, giving into the EVIL of the insanely popular guy that looks like a face if there ever was one.

Steamboat gets a fast rollup for two and then another one. Make it three as Steamboat is out moving him to start. We head to the floor and Luger just kills him with a clothesline. BIG chops take Luger back though as Steamboat is all fired up here. In a very funny spot, Luger yells at Young about the speed of the count and gets rolled up with Young rifling off a very fast two. Funny stuff.

They’re going back and forth with Steamboat never quitting but Luger just uses straight up power. Luger is trying as hard as he can to be the heel here but he’s far too popular for it to work. The problem is that he had one moment of evil but other than that he’s the same guy with just a bit more aggression.

Luger misses a clothesline (does he get paid per clothesline or something?) and hits the floor. Ross talks about the similarities between these two which might be a stretch to put it mildly. Steamboat takes over now and cranks it up one more time. Top rope chop puts Luger down again for two. Luger launches him into the other ring and goes to get a chair.

That’s a nice little thing as Luger is a hypocrite. Steamboat saves himself and catapults Luger into the corner while he’s still holding the chair. Steamboat gets the chair and fires the referee out of the ring for the DQ and then just massacres Luger with the chair as he tries to run away.

Rating: B-. I’ve heard people talk about how this is a great match and I really don’t get that. It’s good and it’s entertaining but it’s certainly not one of the best matches I’ve ever seen or even a great match. The storyline was good and all that jazz but this wasn’t a classic or anything close to it really. Good match and even quite good, but not epic or anything.

Another US Title defense, this time from Halloween Havoc 1989.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Brian Pillman

This is in the middle of Luger’s huge title reign while Pillman is the young fireball that no one can keep up with. They go to the corner to start and Lex looks irritated. Lex tries to keep things slow and throws Pillman to the floor. Brian comes back in with a slingshot clothesline and knocks Luger to the floor with a dropkick. Baseball slide takes Luger down and as they come back in, Air Pillman is teased but Lex heads to the floor.

Lex gets in some kicks to take over but Pillman comes off the top with a spinning cross body. Off to the arm and Pillman has a small advantage. Lex tries to power out of it but Brian takes him right back down with the armdrag. Luger is clearly getting frustrated here so he comes back with more power striking. Crucifix gets two for Pillman and it’s back to the arm. The idea of it isn’t to get a submission but rather to frustrate the champion which is working here.

Brian goes up but misses his splash attempt and Lex takes over again. He’s all fired up and yells at the fans who seem to like him as much as Pillman. A clothesline to the back of the head puts Pillman down and Lex is all fired up. Suplex gets two and Brian is thrown to the floor. Luger brags too much and walks into a sunset flip for two. A big clothesline puts Lex over the top and out to the floor as Brian makes his comeback.

There are ten punches in the corner and an atomic drop to boot. A top rope sunset flip gets two. Pillman hits a jumping back elbow and Luger is in trouble. Air Pillman, the springboard clothesline gets two as Luger got knocked into the ropes. All Pillman at the moment but he misses a missile dropkick and both guys are down. Pillman tries to speed things up but walks into a Hot Shot for the pin and Luger retains.

Rating: B. Luger wasn’t the guy you wanted running a match, but if you give him the right guy to work with such as Pillman here, look out because you’re likely to get a great match. Pillman’s flurry at the end was great but he went too fast and tried to do too much and the more experienced champion caught him. That’s a nice little story and it worked well here, giving you a great match.

Luger would turn face again soon after this and go after the World Title again, at WrestleWar 1990.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger

Sting is with Lex while Woman is with Flair. The idea here is that Sting was supposed to get the title shot here but legit injured his knee which makes this out to be a “tragedy” according to the introductions. This is the main event and we have 45 minutes to go during Flair’s entrance. Chain wrestling to start with no one having an advantage. Flair shoves the referee and is shoved right back.

Flair agrees to a test of strength and down goes Naitch. Flair bails to the floor and says Wooo a lot. Lex knocks him to the floor again so Ric takes the walk. Luger chases him down and the beating continues. Lex is US Champion here. A gorilla press by Luger puts Flair down so Flair tries the chops. Those do about as well as they do against Sting and Lex is all fired up.

There’s a bear hug which Luger bends forward for a two count. Luger hits ten punches in the corner but Flair ducks a clothesline and Luger falls to the floor. Flair chops away outside and back in they go. Scratch that as Flair dumps him again and calls for Woman to get on the apron. With the referee distracted Flair sends him into the barricade and chops him down. Flair punches him back down to the floor as I guess he’s looking for the countout.

Back in for more than ten seconds this time and Flair drops a knee on the head. Another knee drop hits for two. Lex pops up for his comeback but misses a corner charge and is right back down again. This is one of those matches that’s hard to make fun of because they both know what they’re doing and have such great chemistry together that there’s not much they can’t do together.

Flair hooks a hammerlock and stomps on the arm. Lex starts coming back again so Flair pokes him in the eyes, which Funk calls the Achilles Tendon of big men. Luger gets caught in another hammerlock and when he tries to punch his way out of it, the referee stops the fist, allowing Flair to poke him in the eye again. Ric works on the arm even more but Lex grabs the throat to break it up. He throws Flair into the corner for the Flair Flip and we go to the floor.

Flair chops Lex again and Luger is all fired up. Back in and Flair is caught in a sleeper which puts him down. The champ gets his foot on the ropes and manages a belly to back to escape. Luger suplexes him right back and goes after the knee. He wraps it around the post and tries a figure four. Even JR basically says it’s awful as he spins the wrong way, making him look like he’s a nine year old imitating it.

Ric fights up and chops some more but walks into a powerslam for two. The pop on the kickout was big as the fans thought it was over. Flair still can’t get that the chops don’t work and Lex is all fired up. After a quick exchange outside, Luger backslides him for two. Luger punches him in the corner but Flair atomic drops him, hurting Lex’s knee in the process. Where are these knee injuries in matches against people not named Flair?

A pair of top rope axhandles gets two for Flair. Butterfly suplex gets two. Here’s a sleeper by Flair as he hasn’t gone after the knee much yet. That gets broken after awhile and NOW it’s knee time. We’re probably half an hour into this. Flair works on the knee in his usual manner as Sting comes back to ringside. Sting cheers Luger on enough for him to reverse the hold and it’s broken up.

He slaps Lex to fire him up and Flair bails fast. Out to the floor and Lex no sells a whip into the barricade. There’s a gorilla press and Flair goes up, only to get slammed down. Luger clotheslines him to the floor then suplexes him back in for two. There’s the powerslam which Luger earlier said would set up the Rack. Woman distracts Luger, allowing Flair to knee Lex in the back, crushing the referee in the process.

Lex clotheslines Flair down but there’s no referee. A superplex kills Flair dead again but the Andersons run in because there’s no referee. There’s the Torture Rack and the referee is back up, but the Andersons go after Sting. Luger drops the hold when Flair is about to give up, going to save his friend. The Horsemen keep him out there long enough for the count out and a HUGE boo from the crowd. Sting’s day was coming soon though.

Rating: A. See, THIS is how you book a screwjob finish. It made perfect sense for Lex to go out there, meaning that for once he wasn’t an idiot. They had the crowd into this and when you can do that during a forty minute match, that’s usually a great sign. It was an excellent match and the ending is about as perfect as it could have been. Luger would get a rematch the next month in a cage and then it was Sting’s turn.

Here’s a match that I just have to throw in here.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Mark Callous

Mark has Dangerously with him. This is Mark’s only important match in WCW. He takes over to start and works on the arm and they actually go to the mat. Lex arm drags him to the corner where Mark complains of a hair pull. Callous is the Undertaker because I’ve done the “who is he” thing too many times. Mark misses a corner charge and a cross body gets two. Time for some arm work and Paul is on the phone to someone named Murray.

Mark jumps over him with a leapfrog but misses a punch. The second attempt works and Callous takes over. This is as slow as it sounds. Mark works on the arm for awhile and then knocks Luger to the outside. Luger gets a quick sunset flip for two. He no sells a suplex and clotheslines Mark down a few times. There’s the Rack but the referee takes a shot to the head.

Dangerously throws in the phone which goes into Luger’s ribs. The fans are a lot more into this than you would expect them to be. Mark crawls over to him and gets a very slow cover for two. Mark calls for the Heart Punch but Luger gets a boot up, knocks Paul down, and wins with a clothesline of all things.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but this was a much more normal concept back in the day: having the midcard titles defended against big guys who haven’t really done anything of note yet. Mark would get a lot better after getting the right gimmick in about 5 months. Until then though, he was pretty worthless.

We’ll jump ahead a year to what was supposed to be Luger’s big moment at the 1991 Great American Bash. Due to some issues of WCW being stupid, instead of Luger FINALLY beating Flair for the title, it was Luger vs. Barry Windham for the vacant title. Stupid stories aside, this was a big moment for Lex.

WCW World Title: Barry Windham vs. Lex Luger

In a cage if you missed that point and the title is vacant. Luger is clearly the more popular guy. Remember that. This is a short cage too as it’s maybe eight feet off the mat. The LOUD Flair chant begins again. Oh and another thing to complete the joke: Flair has the physical belt so they’re using the old Western States Title with a cheap looking plate over the part that says Western States.

The fans want Flair and we get going. They collide but no one goes anywhere. Luger hip tosses him down as we’re still in a feeling out process. They hit the ropes and Barry dropkicks him down and things slow down again. Small package gets two for Lex. He runs Barry over but the elbow misses. There are a lot of standoffs in this. Barry backdrops him down and they stare at each other some more. The camera guy looks at the fans as they chant for Flair. Nice job dude.

They go to the mat and Barry finally pops him in the face. A suplex puts Windham down and they stand off AGAIN. A figure four is broken up by Lex despite Barry not touching the leg at all yet. We’re like five minutes into the match so far and NOTHING has happened. Barry grabs a headlock and runs Luger over again. Lex grabs a sleeper but Barry counters into one of his own. Riveting stuff I tell you. Riveting.

Luger sends him into the corner to escape and this a DDT for two. That’s your biggest move so far people: a DDT. Lex goes up and gets slammed down, followed by a knee drop for two from Barry. Windham misses a top rope knee drop and Lex hits his series of clotheslines for two. There’s a powerslam and Luger puts him in the Rack but Barry kicks off the cage and backflips out in a cool counter.

A belly to back puts Luger down but he shrugs it off and loads up a superplex. That gets countered and Barry hits a top rope lariat. A regular lariat still gets no cover but a slam gets two. Barry goes up and hits a kind of flying superkick for two. Harley Race and Mr. Hughes come out for no apparent reason and Race says NOW IS THE TIME. Luger pops up and piledrives Windham for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The problem here is that while there were two or three good minutes at the end, the first five minutes of the thirteen minute match were just dull. The heel turn at the end made NO sense and most people didn’t catch on because they popped for the pin. The match just wasn’t that good but there were good pieces to it if that makes sense. The ending sucked though and that brings it down even more. Eh screw it we’ll go with a D+. They earned it. Take that for what you will.

Here’s Luger’s lone successful title defense on PPV.

WCW World Title: Ron Simmons vs. Lex Luger

Luger is defending and has Harley Race with him while Simmons has Dusty Rhodes for no apparent reason. This is 2/3 falls. Feeling out process to start and they trade hammerlocks. Simmons tries a dropkick but misses completely to give Lex the advantage. Ron comes back with a facejam and snaps off a powerslam for no cover. The spinebuster gets the first fall in about five minutes total. That came out of nowhere and we have a one minuet rest period.

Simmons slams him down onto the back again and whips him into the corner time after time to have Luger hiding in the corner. Let’s talk about the Braves, who are playing in the World Series at the same time as this show. A sunset flip gets two for Simmons and Race is freaking out. Simmons misses a charge and Luger sends him flying out to the floor. Back in and an elbow drop gets two for the champion.

Lex hits a powerslam of his own for one because his back is too messed up to cover fully. Off to a chinlock as Luger tries to buy himself a breather. Simmons fights back with elbows and punches before grabbing a rollup for two. A backslide does the same and Luger is getting in more and more trouble every second. Race distracts Ron so Dusty gives him the big elbow. In a HORRIBLY STUPID MOMENT, Luger charges at Simmons who is on the ropes. Race holds Simmons against the ropes and Lex falls to the floor, AND THAT’S A DQ. That rule was so stupid that I can’t fathom it at times.

After another rest period it’s the third fall. Simmons is ready to go while Luger is sucking wind. The champion gets in a sucker punch and goes on a big rush of offense. He’s also bleeding from under his right eye. Simmons shrugs that off and pounds away in the corner. A clothesline gets two. Luger knees him in the ribs and Simmons is slowed down almost immediately. A powerslam puts Luger right back down and a middle rope shoulder puts Lex on the outside. Simmons’ shoulder hits the post and we go back inside so the piledriver can get the pin for Luger to retain.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t big on this one. This felt more like a really big TV main event rather than a PPV main event. Simmons would become a lot bigger soon enough and would get the title off Vader in 1992. The DQ here was just freaking dumb as there were far worse throws earlier in the night, but it made sense here because it needed to. Not a very good match but I’ve seen worse.

Luger would drop the title to Sting in February 1992 and promptly injure his arm in a motorcycle crash. This put him on the shelf for over a year until he eventually came back in the WWF. Here’s his first major match, from Wrestlemania IX.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

That sounds pretty awesome on paper. Anyway, Luger is the Narcissist at this point and comes out with some women in bikinis with thongs, sending Heenan through the roof. Well over the top of the columns at least. Perfect gets a very solid pop here but he would be used sparingly until he left in the fall. They trade headlocks to start and Luger bails to the corner. Now they trade hammerlocks and Luger bails to the ropes again.

Perfect hits a dropkick to send Luger to the outside as the crowd is staying hot. Back in and Luger starts using the power but Perfect blocks a big boot attempt. There’s the Robinsdale Crunch on Luger’s knee and Perfect cranks on it a bit for fun. We head to the corner for some LOUD chops but Lex whips him into the corner a few times to take over. We head to the floor with Luger ramming the injured back into the apron, followed by a backbreaker in the ring for two.

Perfect fights out of the corner with right hands but Luger scoops his legs and puts his own feet on the ropes for two. Mr. comes back with a nice sunset flip for two but a quick sleeper attempt is broken up. Back up and they slug it out a bit more with Perfect hitting a backdrop to take over. A slingshot sends Luger into the buckle and a forearm to the head gets two. Perfect hits a clothesline and neckbreaker for two each, as does a kind of missile dropkick. Luger wins the fight over a backslide and even though Perfect gets his feet in the ropes, Luger gets the pin anyway.

Rating: C. Decent match here but it never hit the level they were capable of. That ending was actually designed to set up something at the NEXT Wrestlemania which was unheard of at this point in time. Anyway, decent match here but it’s a disappointment due to how good this could and should have been.

Since I’ve covered Luger’s face turn and failed attempts at winning the title to death in this series, we’ll jump ahead to Summerslam 1994. Around this time, Ted DiBiase had been helping Luger win but Lex swore he hadn’t sold out. Luger’s friend Tatanka didn’t believe him and a match was set up between the two.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

The fans aren’t sure how they feel about Luger at the moment. They finally lock up with Luger taking it into the corner for a clean break. A shoulder puts Tatanka down but Luger still won’t follow up. Tatanka grabs the arm as we’re still in first gear. A cross body gets two for Tatanka and it’s time to slug it out with Lex taking over. Tatanka starts the war path and hits a top rope chop for two but a high cross body only hits mat. Luger starts his comeback but here’s DiBiase with a bag of money. Lex shouts that he didn’t sell out, allowing Tatanka to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was very slow paced which isn’t good in a short match. We were waiting for the angle here instead of the match which is fine, but it didn’t make the match any less dull. Tatanka was into a more serious phase of his career here and his matches got a lot less fun to watch as a result.

Post match Luger is mad and he kicks the bag out of DiBiase’s hand…..only to have Tatanka reveal the HE sold out by destroying Luger. Tatanka puts him in the Million Dollar Dream and shoves money down Luger’s throat. This has always been a favorite of mine.

Luger would form a tag team with Davey Boy Smith and find enough success to earn a Tag Team Title shot at In Your House II.

Tag Titles: Yokozuna/Owen Hart vs. Allied Powers

The Powers are Lex Luger and British Bulldog and are challenging. Luger and his old world title rival Yokozuna get us going as the fans chant USA. So do they hate Bulldog as well? Yokozuna shoves the very strong Luger into the corner but Lex comes back with right hands. A clothesline puts Luger down but he avoids a big elbow drop and tries to pound on Yokozuna a bit.

The big man’s head is rammed into the top turnbuckle ten straight times and Yokozuna finally falls into the corner for the tag off to Owen. Yokozuna didn’t want to tag though and shoves Owen down as a result. Hart hides from Luger in the corner before being armdragged down into an armbar. Off to Owen’s real life brother in law Davey Boy Smith so they can fight over a wristlock. Bulldog tries a backdrop but Owen doesn’t flip over, landing on his face instead.

Off to a chinlock on Hart before he fights up and goes after the leg. Yokozuna comes in again and walks around a lot before putting on a nerve hold. Bulldog fights up but gets caught by an elbow to the jaw. Back to Owen who gets two off a clothesline before taking Davey’s head off with an enziguri. Davey comes back with a clothesline as the fans chant USA.

The hot tag brings in Luger to punch Yokozuna some more, as well as taking Owen down off the top rope. He throws Owen at the big man to put both guys down. Everything breaks down but Owen breaks up a Luger cover. Yokozuna misses a charge into the corner and a double belly to back suplex puts the big man down again, only to have Owen come off the top to break it up. Luger is stunned from Owen’s shot, allowing Yokozuna to drop the big leg to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This was a better choice than the Smoking Gunns but even power guys like Smith and Luger can only do so much with a guy that big. The double suplex was an impressive spot but it wasn’t enough to save the match. The entire tag division was basically Owen/Yokozuna, the Smoking Gunns and a bunch of jobbing tag teams that would never make it onto a PPV. Nothing special here at all.

Luger would jump to WCW soon after this and hook up with Sting, getting a shot at the Tag Team Titles on Nitro, January 22, 1996.

Tag Titles: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Harlem Heat

Heenan is ranting about something after we get back which apparently is that he isn’t being allowed to talk. This is happening because Sting and Luger decided they were going to be a tag team now so they’re #1 contenders. We start it off after a brief commercial. Back and there’s the bell and it’s Luger vs. Stevie to start us off. Luger gets beaten down a bit but managed to bring in Sting who cleans house, beating up both champions at once.

Scorpion goes onto Stevie but Booker makes the save. Booker gets an armbar on Sting as this is going very quickly but it doesn’t seem like much is happening at the same time. Luger breaks up a cover as Sting is getting beaten down pretty badly. Sting tries to fight back but gets clothesline on the top by Stevie. This is about as going through the motions as you could ask for.

Harlem Heat is rather boring indeed. LONG nerve hold by Booker wastes a good deal of time. Sherri, Harlem Heat’s manager, isn’t here since she’s about to get married tomorrow which didn’t happen either. Booker goes up but the Harlem Hangover misses. Jimmy Hart runs out again and slips Luger something. With the referee distracted Luger drills Booker with what turns out to be a roll of silver dollars for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. I couldn’t get into this one again. I don’t know what’s going on with these guys tonight but the show has been off by a step all night. I don’t know if it’s the being out west or what but this hasn’t worked at all for the most part all night despite there being talented guys out there. Sting and Luger would hold the belts for a few months.

Lex would quickly turn full face when the NWO arrived. He would be part of the team that would face off against them, but since he was out of most of the match, we’ll look at one of his warmup matches from that show from July 22, 1996.

Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair/Steve McMichael/Chris Benoit

No Anderson, not even as a second. Flair isn’t here either but we were told earlier he would be making an entrance. After a break Arn is checking a white limo for whom I’d assume to be Flair. He can’t find him though so Arn, who just happens to be in wrestling gear, is filling in. The announcers speculate about who the next guy in the NWO could be and Heenan says it’s all about money. I guess you could call that foreshadowing.

Sting vs. Anderson to start us off. Mongo takes Sting down and the double beatdown is on. Back inside and here’s Benoit. I’d love to see early 90s Sting vs. Benoit in a 20 minute match or so. Mongo gets a bad neckbreaker for two. A bad dropkick follows and we look at the white limo. Off to the Crippler again and an elbow gets two. Only Sting has been in so far.

Anderson takes a few punches but manages to stop the tag. Back to the football dude who hammers on him in the corner and it’s very clear Mongo isn’t ready to be in there yet. It’s not his fault but he’s just not experienced enough yet. Even a few months in a minor league would have done wonders for him. Lex finally gets the hot tag and cleans house. Everything breaks down and the girls try to slip in the briefcase. Savage manages to steal it back and clocks Benoit with it, allowing Luger to get the easy pin.

Rating: C+. This was fine. It was short but given Mongo, that’s probably a good thing. He was trying but the experience and coordination just didn’t click. He was a great football player but it’s a different thing and I think he learned that quickly. Savage was never legally in the match I don’t think.

We’ll jump ahead again to February of 1997 when Luger was a major soldier in the war with the NWO. Luger was scheduled to team up with Giant to face the Outsiders but was injured coming in. From SuperBrawl VII.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. The Giant

Ok so there’s a backstory here. Giant and Luger are partners but Luger has a broken hand/arm and couldn’t get a doctor’s clearance in time so Giant has to go this alone. Syxx is with the champs. Hall starts off here with the idea being to tick Giant off. Hall hammers away which seems to just be getting him in trouble. One armed slam by Giant and it’s off to Nash. This was the teased match for an entire year which didn’t happen until the following January because Nash didn’t want to job to Giant.

Giant gets a dropkick to send Nash to the floor and manhandles him with ease, including ramming him into the post. Elbow gets two back in the ring. Nash gets in a shot with the Cruiserweight Title and Hall adds what was supposed to be a bulldog but Hall manages to wind up behind Giant, making it more like a Zig Zag.

Basically this is 3-1 and that’s about what was expected. Nash misses the running pelvis to the head with Giant on the middle rope in a 619 position. That move REALLY needs a name. Off to Hall again who hammers away in the corner. Giant fights them off as Syxx comes in and slips the belt to Hall who drops Giant with it. Nash manages to powerbomb Giant in a cool spot as somehow we haven’t had a DQ yet.

Here’s Luger with a cast on to clean house. He Racks Nash who hurt his back on the powerbomb. That rings a bell for a submission somehow but wait, Nash wasn’t legal. Therefore Giant (illegal) chokeslams Hall, the legal man, and pins him for the definitive pin. Naturally this was overturned the next night on Nitro for literally no reason other than “that wasn’t legal” but it was a stupid moment so I can forgive it.

Rating: D+. Match was junk for the most part but that powerbomb was indeed awesome. Nash vs. Giant would FINALLY get blown off 11 months later because WCW saw no problem with Nash screwing over a PPV audience at Starrcade. Anyway, this was more stupid stuff that meant nothing if you were paying attention but it’s WCW so there you go.

Later in the year, Luger had his biggest moment of the 90s in WCW. From August 7, 1997.

WCW World Title: Lex Luger vs. Hollywood Hogan

Dang man how long has it been since Hogan wrestled on Nitro? They trade hammerlocks to start and Hulk heads to the ropes. More feeling out until Hogan pounds away in the corner to take over. The fans are WAY into this here. Hogan keeps beating on him and drops a bunch of elbows. A clothesline in the corner has Lex in trouble and Hulk chokes away. Luger comes back and rams the champ into the buckle a few times to get himself a breather. Hollywood takes his head off with another clothesline and we take a break.

Back with Hogan still in control and hitting a suplex for two. A belly to back suplex puts Luger down again and a big right hand gets two. The big boot and legdrop hit for two and the pop is really weak for some reason. Another legdrop misses and it’s comeback time. Luger decks the Outsiders and Savage as they try to run in. The forearm takes Hogan down and there’s the Torture Rack to give us a new world champion.

Rating: B. The match itself was as by the book as you could get, but that’s exactly what it should have been. The rating is almost entirely for the moment, which is WAY better here than I remember it being. Hindsight would say it was obviously only going to last until the PPV, but still man this worked really well. I’m actually surprised at how much I liked this.

The locker room empties out for the celebration. The fans go NUTS too. Everyone goes to the back and we see Giant and Luger polishing the belt to get the NWO paint off as champagne is flowing everywhere.

Lex wouldn’t do much for the rest of the year so we’ll skip ahead to his time in the Wolfpack and a US Title shot on Nitro from August 10, 1998.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Bret Hart

Bret is defending in another match that should have been at the PPV. Luger shoves Bret to the floor to start before accepting a test of strength for some reason. A hammerlock gets the champion nowhere so Luger elbows him out to the floor. Bret grabs the belt and starts to walk away but Luger will have none of that. Luger actually armdrags him into an armbar but Bret takes him into the corner and stomps away.

We take a break and come back with Bret sending him into the barricade and slamming Luger down on the concrete. Back in and Bret does the Hogan hand to the ear but Luger jacks his jaw with right hands. A low blow puts Luger down again but the referee doesn’t seem to care. Hart puts him down with a Russian legsweep and the headbutt to the abdomen.

A snap suplex gets two and Bret takes a breather to yell at the referee. The champ loads up the Five Moves but Luger gets a boot up to stop the elbow. Luger comes back with his clotheslines and the forearm for two before putting on a sleeper. The referee gets taken down and Bret pulls out a foreign object. Before it can be used though, Lex picks him up in the Torture Rack for the submission and the title.

Rating: C-. Pretty basic match here but it was nice to see something get some time on this show. I continue to shake my head whenever Bret comes on screen though as he’s now lost his title in his first defense after being wasted for about nine months. The match wasn’t bad and the Wolfpack did need to win something so I don’t have much to complain about here.

We’ll skip ahead again due to Luger being injured for about six months. Here’s one of his few final big matches from WCW at Halloween Havoc 1999.

Total Package vs. Bret Hart

Bret dominates to start and Luger can’t get anything going at all. As they fight to the floor for the second time, Liz trips Bret which doesn’t work at all. Lex finally takes over with more generic offense. These old guys really can’t do much but why should they? They’re making a fortune already. Bret grabs a Russian legsweep for two. Luger’s official name here is Lex Luger but you get the idea.

Bret keeps firing off and we hear about Goldberg and Sid some more. Here are the Five Moves of Doom by Hart and he loads up the Sharpshooter, but Lex pokes him in the eye. Someone tries a hiptoss and they tumble to the floor. Back in and Bret’s knee is almost done. Lex goes after the leg, works on it for about 10 seconds and hooks a half crab for the clean tap out. Yes, in 1999 Lex Luger got a clean submission win over Bret Hart.

Rating: D-. This match sucked and the only thing that keeps it from failing is how Liz looked in that dress with her implants. I can’t comprehend the booking of this show but believe me: it’s going to get worse. It’s not like Luger meant anything at this point, so let’s put him over Bret freaking Hart. Makes sense.

And finally, from SuperBrawl Revenge in the dying days of WCW.

Totally Buff vs. Kronik

Wow that sounds like a pair of indy teams if I’ve ever heard one. The fans chant for Goldberg and Totally Buff says he was fired. They run their mouths for awhile longer and we’re told that Brian Clark hasn’t been released to wrestle yet. So it’s a handicap match now with Adams fighting both of them. Oh never mind there he is. The lights are still out for the entrance though and we can’t see Clark. Yeah we know what’s coming so just get to it.

Clark is put down by a chair shot so it’s a handicap match anyway. Adams gets a terrible double DDT but can’t get a full nelson slam on Luger due to a low blow. Off to Bagwell and we begin the standard double teaming and tagging in and out by the heels. Other than that double DDT it’s been all heels here. Camel clutch by Luger and he poses a bit. Luger jumps up and down on his back a few times but gets caught in a double knee to the Package’s package.

Bagwell goes down also and it’s off to Adams in control. He fires away with basic stuff that doesn’t really get him anywhere. Totally Buff sets for a double team Blockbuster but Adams fights off Luger’s shoulders and gets a belly to back suplex to take him down. You know, if Bagwell had actually, I don’t know, DONE SOMETHING OTHER THAN STAND ON THE ROPES AND WATCHED, Adams might not have been able to take over like that.

Anyway we get an attempted full nelson slam to Bagwell but Clark apparently turns on Adams and drills him. Ah but it’s a ruse and it’s Mike Awesome in Clark attire with a wig. Why is that the case you ask? No one knows, but my guess would be because it makes no sense and makes Awesome even more worthless than he was before. Rack and the Blockbuster ends Adams quickly.

Rating: D. Hey what do you know? It’s a pointless match that isn’t any good with a screwy ending that makes no sense. Who in the world would have seen that coming? Awesome continues to be completely wasted (no match tonight) and again, NO ONE CARES ABOUT LUGER AND BAGWELL!!! Terrible match….again.

I’ll even throw in his lone TNA appearance as a final match. To the best of my knowledge this was the last match of his career. From November 17, 2003.

AJ Styles/Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett/Lex Luger

Luger alone could make this a trainwreck. Sting comes out first here which is a strange choice to say the least. It doesn’t help that JB calls Styles (accompanied by Jimmy Hart of all people) Sting’s opponent. Jeff is world champion because he’s Jeff Jarrett and this is TNA. Luger is heavily muscled but clearly not in the best of shape. Before the match, Jarrett’s manager Don Callis (Cyrus/The Jackyl) says that AJ doesn’t belong in the same ring as Luger and Jarrett. Sting of course disagrees and we’re ready to go.

Jarrett starts with Sting and is quickly shoved down and headlocked. A Stinger Splash misses but Sting puts on the brakes and clotheslines Jarrett down. Off to AJ for the drop down into a dropkick and a knee to the chest for two. The good guys both try Scorpions on the heels but Luger and Jarrett bail to the floor.

It’s off to Luger for his first match in America since WCW went under. AJ is easily shoved down and a gorilla press shows off Luger’s power. We hit the bearhug for a few moments before Lex drops him to tag Jarrett back in. A spinebuster puts Styles down again and it’s back to Luger. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Jeff who counters a hurricanrana attempt. AJ is stuck on Jeff’s shoulders but gets him into the corner for the tag to Sting, only to have Luger distract the referee so the tag doesn’t count.

Jeff’s Figure Four is blocked but AGAIN the referee misses the hot tag. Luger sends AJ to the floor so Sting comes in sans tag to clean house. A Death Drop gets two on Jarrett but Luger breaks up the pin. Sting escapes the Torture Rack attempt as AJ comes back in with a springboard cross body on Luger for two. In a HORRIBLE looking ending, Sting comes in with the ball bat and hits Luger twice in the ribs and chest. Luger, ever the great performer, TOTALLY NO SELLS THEM until Sting hits him in the jaw, knocking Luger into a rollup by AJ for the pin. Luger pops up after the pin and looks shocked instead of, you know, dead.

Rating: D. The ending drags this down even more than I expected it to. Luger was trying but it was the same act that was getting tired eight years before this match. I’m not sure how much you can blame Sting as he hit Luger with a freaking BASEBALL BAT but Luger wouldn’t sell the shots. That just looked ridiculous and nearly more comical than anything else.

Luger is the kind of guy who was WAY over back in his heyday and his run in 1988 was just awesome. The problem is he was labeled a choker early on and people stopped caring as a result. He had the look, he had the charisma, but he didn’t exactly have the ability to back it up in the ring. Still though, when he was on he was VERY on and is still fun to watch.

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This is a request that I’ve finally gotten to after getting done with those weekly TNA PPVs. I don’t remember why someone requested this but Ambrose is defending the US Title against Mark Henry and AJ Lee is defending against Natalya, so odds are it’s one of those. This is a show I haven’t looked at all that much but you hear good things about it a lot of the time. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Before the match we get an inset interview from Axel saying he’s in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, joining Ryback as two of the handful of entrants so far. Ryback throws Diego around to start but Diego comes back with a dropkick and headlock. Diego gets shoved off but stops to shout OLE both in the ring and on the apron. Off to Fernando for a dropkick/legsweep combo for a one count. Ryback misses a jumping seated senton, allowing Fernando to hit a running elbow to the jaw.

Axel comes in for the first time to really crank up the awesome. Fernando grabs a quick hurricanrana but walks into a clothesline for two. The fans are rather silent here for the most part, but to Los Matadores’ credit, the crowd REALLY gets behind Fernando during his heat segment. Off to a chinlock so Ryback can really obviously call spots. Back to Axel for some right hands in the corner as the announcers talk about anything else they can think of.

Axel gets two off a middle rope elbow and we hit another chinlock. Ryback comes back in to miss a splash, drawing Torito up to the apron to play cheerleader. The hot tag brings in Diego to run over both Ryback and Axel. Everything breaks down and Diego comes out of the corner with a headscissors to put Axel down again. Fernando hits a big flip dive to take out Ryback and Torito gets in a shot of his own. The distraction lets Diego get a rollup on Axel for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. Totally forgettable match here but it wasn’t bad at all. Los Matadores aren’t the worst team in the world, but they’re just so bland with a style that has been done about a million times better before. Axel and Ryback are a decent power/technical team, but all four of these guys are so low on the totem pole that it’s hard to care about them.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Natalya

Nattie made champion AJ tap in a non-title match on Snackdown to set this up. Before the match AJ says she’s bored due to the lack of competition here, but worry not because she’ll beat Natalya again tonight. After some big match intros, Natalya takes it to the mat to start with a headlock. A rollup sends AJ crawling for the ropes and it’s right back to the headlock.

Natalya does the Owen Hart counter to escape a wristlock before cranking on Lee’s leg. AJ gets into the ropes again as they’re in very slow but deliberate mode to start here. Back up and Natalya cranks on an abdominal stretch with the leg lifted as well. AJ slips out but gets dropkicked to the floor as we take a break. Back with AJ getting two off something we didn’t see before putting on a chinlock.

That doesn’t last long as Nattie fights up and tries a slam, only to be countered into the guillotine choke. Natalya can’t slam her down to escape and gets clotheslined down for two. It’s time for the skipping around the ring followed by another wicked clothesline. A running dropkick puts the champion down but she kicks Natalya over and over in the corner to take over again. Back to the guillotine which transitions into a sleeper but Nattie throws AJ down.

The blonde makes her comeback with clotheslines and a hard slam for two of her own. AJ grabs the Black Widow out of nowhere but gets slammed down into Sharpshooter position. That gets countered as well into a cradle for two but the second attempt gets the hold on. Nattie doesn’t sit down on it that well though, allowing Lee to crawl over to the ropes. Tamina gets on the apron and the distraction lets AJ nail the Shining Wizard, setting up the Black Widow for the submission. The referee calmly telling her to “tap whenever you’re ready” hurt the scene a bit.

Rating: B-. The match got a bit repetitive at the end but it’s a good sign that two girls can have a seventeen minute match and make it work this well. The idea of AJ being a better technical wrestler but getting caught by the power worked really well, as did the ways AJ could contort and bend out there.

Natalya cries because of course she does.

We look at Santino and Emma’s first date at WWE catering. Slapstick ensues.

Raw ReBound looks at Daniel Bryan’s Occupy Raw moment.

US Title: Mark Henry vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is defending and the idea is that he never puts the belt on the line. To be fair, he hardly ever did as champion. This is also a rematch from a recent title shot on Raw. Feeling out process to start with Henry shoving him to the floor and then wrapping Dean’s arm around the ropes. Dean is thrown to the floor again but we have a staredown with the other Shield members. The distraction allows Ambrose to get in a quick dropkick to knock Henry outside.

Back from a break with Dean cranking on a half crab before nailing a middle rope chop block. Another shot to the knee puts Mark down and it’s into the half crab again. Dean opts to just kick Henry a lot and drive in some forearms to the chest. The knee is slammed down onto the mat but Mark pops up and slams Ambrose down off the middle rope to take over.

Some fat man clotheslines are good for two but Henry makes the mistake of going after Rollins. It doesn’t go badly at first, but Henry stops a Vader Bomb to stare at Reigns, allowing Dean to pull him down by the leg. A kneeling Dirty Deeds is good for the pin to retain Ambrose’s title.

Rating: C-. This was fine from a technical standpoint but it wasn’t the best match in the world. Henry is fine as a dragon for Ambrose to slay as I don’t think many people bought him as an actual threat to the belt. It’s always nice to see the title actually being defended though, instead of just being used as a prop.

Overall Rating: C+. For an hour long C show on the Network, this was actually really entertaining stuff. It’s a VERY wrestling heavy show which is a nice change of pace when you usually deal with the angle heavy big shows. It’s nothing you need to see but if you want to see a match get way more time than it would otherwise, this is a good show to check out.

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Today it’s one of the nicest guys ever in wrestling: the Big Boss Man.

Tully Blanchard vs. Ray Traylor

Yes, that’s Big Bossman as a jobber. He’s in a singlet here which looks like an S&M outfit on him. JJ is on commentary and sounds a little worried about Traylor’s size. Tully goes amateur on him but Traylor gets up and muscles him back into the corner. Traylor keeps using his weight to get him into the corner. Tully sweeps the leg and takes it to the mat again. He manages to get Traylor up and hit the slingshot suplex for the pin.

Rating: C+. Considering Traylor’s size (over 350lbs) that suplex at the end was awesome. Dusty was so impressed by the fact that Traylor could take it and make it look good that Traylor got a full time job out of this. He was kept off TV for three months and came back as Cornette’s unstoppable and unhurtable bodyguard Big Bubba Rogers and would jump to the WWF in about two years.

After being Cornette’s bodyguard for awhile, Bubba would go on to feud with Ronnie Garvin, who he would face in a street fight at Starrcade 1986.

Ron Garvin vs. Big Bubba Rogers

Garvin is Mid-Atlantic Champion but this is non-title. It’s also a street fight and Bubba, a 400lb monster who can move very quickly and is dressed as a gangster for lack of a better term, has Jim Cornette as his manager. You can only win by pinfall or knocking someone down for a ten count. Why not just cover them for three instead of waiting the extra seven seconds? Falls count anywhere also. Oh and this is a Louisville (Cornette’s hometown) street fight in Atlanta.

Garvin gets in some quick right hands to stagger Bubba so the big man asks for a test of strength. Ron agrees but sucker punches Bubba down in a smart bit. Garvin is in street clothes here which works for a street fight. Back in and Bubba throws Garvin onto the announce table and out to the floor as we pause again. While out there, Garvin picks up a drink and throws it in Bubba’s face to get an advantage. He goes NUTS on Bubba, pounding him out to the floor with rights and lefts.

Back in and Garvin chokes away but Cornette slipped Bubba something and a shot to Ron’s head changes control again. Bubba punches him down a few times for a couple of four counts but Ron comes back with more punches. Garvin pulls out a rope of some kind and ties Bubba’s leg down with it before choking away. Bubba comes back with some right hands of his own and slaps on a bearhug like any good monster would.

Garvin doesn’t appear to be in pain at all and headbutts his way out of the hold. A BIG right hand puts Rogers on the floor and he’s almost out cold. Back in for, of course, more punching from Garvin. Bubba is knocked to the floor where he gains control by the power of fat, but as they go back in Ron slams him down off the top rope.

The referee is crushed (as has happened A LOT tonight) and Ron piledrives Bubba down, only to have Cornette blast him with the tennis racket. The referee gets up and counts both guys out to ten, but there has to be a winner. It’s the first man to his feet gets the win apparently, and with Bubba distracting the referee, Cornette nails Ron in the knee with the racket to give Bubba the easy win.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do it for me. Garvin throws a decent punch, but other than that there was nothing to see here from either guy. It wasn’t terrible or anything but I need more than eleven minutes of punching and a screwy finish with Cornette hitting Ron in the knee with a tennis racket. Not much to see here.

After another few months as a big brawler in the NWA, Rogers would head to the WWF and become the Big Boss Man, a former prison guard who dished out law and order. His PPV debut was at Summerslam 1988.

Big Boss Man vs. Koko B. Ware

Boss Man is brand new here. This wasn’t included on the home video version for reasons that I’ve never figured out. It was probably a time thing though. Koko fires away to start and staggers the very fat Boss Man with a dropkick. Boss Man is one of the best cases of weight loss you’ll ever see as he lost probably 100lbs in a year and a half, making him MUCH smoother in the ring.

Koko charges into a front facelock and Boss Man pounds him down with a forearm to the back. A splash in the corner crushes Ware but Boss Man pulls him up at two. Off to a surfboard hold but Koko rolls forward and kicks Boss Man in the face. A stiff right hand puts Koko down again but Boss Man misses a top rope splash. Boss Man misses another splash in the corner and a missile dropkick gets two for Koko. Ware charges again but gets dropped face first onto the post, followed by the Boss Man Slam for the easy pin.

Rating: D. This went WAY too long for a squash early on in Boss Man’s run with the company. The match wasn’t terrible and Koko looked good with the high flying stuff, but therein lies the problem: there’s no reason to have Koko look so good here. He should have gotten destroyed in about three minutes as opposed to being somewhat competitive in twice as long.

Boss Man would become part of a tag team with the 400lb Akeem called the Twin Towers. They would be the top heels in the company in early 1989, facing off with the Twin Towers at the Main Event II.

Twin Towers vs. Mega Powers

This is an hour long show and the match is over twenty minutes long so if you didn’t get the idea, this is the only reason to watch this show. After the Towers get to the ring, we get a video about Hogan and Savage. This isn’t your typical video however. This is set to a WAY too upbeat song called You’re A Friend Of Mine by Clarence Clemens Jackson Browne. Look it up and picture a highlight package of Hogan and Savage. It looks like the intro to a REALLY bad sitcom. I can’t make this stuff up people.

Hogan and Savage say there is no issue with these three. The underlying theme here is that Hogan allegedly loves Liz but Hogan insists it’s just like a brother and sister. In short, this became about Hogan which Savage didn’t like which has to be at least half legitimate. Everyone talks a lot here and hey now let’s have a match.

Boss Man starts and Savage and Hogan both want to start for their team. Boss Man wants Hogan so Savage can’t get his way again. Hogan looks especially orange tonight. The heels are cleared out by Super Hogan alone and the fans are WAY into it. The little things in this match like Savage wearing Hogan’s colors with the words Mega Powers written on them but Hogan wearing his usual gear is very well done.

Akeem comes in and here’s Savage to meet him. Oh wait never mind Hogan needs to come back in. He even comes off the second rope to work on the arm a bit. Boss Man hits a Piledriver and Hogan does his fish out of water dance on the mat. I’m not sure if it looks more like that or a steak being grilled. One or the other. Jesse points out that Hogan is hogging the ring time and he’s absolutely right at this point.

Slick gets involved so Savage drills him in the face. Spinebuster which is unnamed at this point gets two. Savage finally comes in this has been ALL Mega Powers. Top rope cross body puts Akeem down but Slick gets a shot in to take down the Macho Man and momentum shifts. Savage is still world champion here if I didn’t mention that and you’re not familiar with this era.

And now we get to the meat of this show. Akeem throws Savage to the floor and he wipes Elizabeth out, landing right on top of her (lucky). She’s GONE and Hogan goes to try to help her which ticks Savage off for some reason. “Oh no the woman I love is getting helped after I was incapacitated! SCREW THIS!” Hogan carries Liz to the back in as dramatic a fashion as possible. He leaves with her as they check her out.

We get the other fun part of this as Hogan’s acting is at its peak here. Keep in mind we stay on Hogan and Liz for like 3 minutes with ZERO talk of what’s going on in the ring. Back from a break we get a bumper of the match and now back to General Wrestling Hospital. Hogan keeps saying thank God and making weird noises. I don’t have the video up as I’m typing here and the sounds are just disturbing. Leaving out the word God it’s God Elizabeth God Elizabeth and random moaning and groaning and breathing sounds.

FINALLY he realizes he’s left his partner for like ten minutes against two monsters so he comes back for the save and the glory. Oh but instead of like, I don’t know, GETTING IN THE RING and beating the heck out of one of the guys and helping Savage, he gets on the apron and grabs the tag rope. Savage continues to do all of the work and beats up Boss Man but won’t tag Hogan.

Savage slaps Hogan nice and hard and leaves him. Serves the bald pest right too. Macho stands on the floor and then leaves with his belt. For once Hogan has absolutely no one to blame but himself here. More on that later though. Air Africa (Akeem’s splash) hits Hogan, he Hulks Up, Boss Man apparently asks Slick if he knows where he can find a good turkey on rye as he pays NO attention to what’s going on and Hogan gets the pin.

Rating: C. Total angle here with a match as the backdrop but this was a big deal to put it mildly. This would be like Orton turning on Cena when they had been best friends for like a year. The match is just ok but that’s all it needed to be. Hogan’s hammy acting aside, this was perfectly fine for what it was.

We’ll take a quick jump away from Hogan to one of the first matches on Wrestlemania V.

Rockers vs. Twin Towers

That would be Big Boss Man/Akeem. Shawn makes his Wrestlemania debut by starting against Big Boss Man and the little guy takes over quickly. He also decks Akeem in the corner and gets to face the bigger man (Akeem, the former One Man Gang). The Rockers start flying in and out of the ring as they work over Akeem’s arm. The arm cranking continues but Akeem makes a blind tag. Marty gets tossed into Boss Man’s arms and crushed by both big men. This is back when Boss Man weighed about 400lbs so it’s a big more painful than it sounds.

The Towers take their turns with fat man offense as Marty is in big trouble in a hurry. Akeem avalanches him in the corner and it’s back to Boss Man. We get heel miscommunication though and Boss Man is knocked to the floor by his own partner. Off to Shawn who pounds away in the corner before both Rockers hit a series of whips into the corner. A double middle rope shoulder finally takes Akeem down for two and it’s back to Shawn on his own.

Akeem KILLS HIM with a clothesline (Jesse: “I think he irritated Akeem!”) but Boss Man misses a top rope splash. The Rockers hit some double dropkicks (one of which sees Shawn completely missing Bossman) but a top rope rana is countered into a wicked powerbomb by Boss Man. Akeem crushes Shawn with a splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Considering how hungover the Rockers were in this match (as confirmed by Shawn), this came off pretty well. The Rockers sold the power offense like few others could, which made for some awesome visuals. They would get a lot better over the coming years but this wasn’t their best performance.

Back to Hogan, for what might be Boss Man’s most famous moment. From Saturday Night’s Main Event #21.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Big Boss Man

This is in a cage remember. Slick says that the surprise is Zeus. He stands on the steps and slams the cage door, blocking Hogan’s entrance. Dang it I was hoping I was done with this guy. Ok here’s the concept of Zeus. Hogan made a movie called No Holds Barred. The main villain in that movie was named Tom Lister, playing the character of Zeus, a monster fighter that was a crazed wrestler. Hogan played a character that more or less was himself named Rip. At the end of the movie, Rip beats Zeus as you would expect him to. So what this would be is Zeus the character coming after the actor that played the character Rip.

In other words, a character played by an actor is coming after a character played by a character played by Terry Bollea. Now here’s the big problem: LISTER CANNOT WRESTLE. Vince of course contemplated putting him vs. Hogan in SkyDome at Mania 6 for the title. Yeah around this time WWF was in REAL financial trouble until Mania saved the freaking company. Anyway, this is Zeus’ debut.

Remember, this is a movie character going after an actor that played a character that beat his character up. Yeah it was idiotic but oddly enough few got the problem, mainly because most kids were so freaked out by Zeus, including me, that they didn’t get how stupid this was. Oh and remember Hogan hasn’t even come to the arena yet.

We get a clip of No Holds Barred, showing Zeus beating up a street fighter. That movie needs to be on DVD. It just does. Hogan comes out and can’t get in. Zeus beats Hogan down as you would expect. Remember, this would be like Christian Bale claiming to be Batman beating up Liam Neeson. Not Ra’s-as-Ghul, but Liam Neeson. Boss Man dominates early but here comes the champion as you would expect.

See here, the fans are cheering and money was coming in. BIG difference to today. He hits what would be called a spinebuster on Hogan but doesn’t have a name other than “look at that maneuver!” Boss Man gets over the top of the cage but since Boss Man can’t climb down with any kind of speed, Hogan gets there in time. We then get the mega spot of the match, which really isn’t much by today’s standards.

With Boss Man on the top of the cage and Hogan on the top rope, Hogan suplexes Boss Man to the mat. I think it’s because of the size and era that this is considered such a great bump. They’re up about 45 seconds later and everything is fine. Boss Man has handcuffs which don’t work of course. Ah never mind it’s just a chain. Both guys get rammed into the cage and they’re both down.

This time it’s just for a few seconds though. Boss Man is bleeding a bit. The usual stuff ends it as Hogan goes over the top to get to the floor. For those of you that don’t remember, Slick is more or less Pope minus wrestling. I forgot to mention that Slick runs in and there’s a mix up, causing Boss Man to get cuffed to the rope. Hogan beats Slick up afterwards.

Rating: B-. It’s a Hogan cage match. That’s all there is to it. The bump is nice, but other than that there just isn’t much here. Hogan vs. a monster was where he was at his best and this came off just fine. It’s no classic or anything, but for a TV match this was quite good and that suplex scared me to death as a kid.

Boss Man would turn face in early 1990 after Ted DiBiase hired him to retrieve the Million Dollar Title. Boss Man did his job, but DiBiase made it sound like Boss Man was a mercenary. That wasn’t what Boss Man stood for and the turn was simple. This led to a feud with DiBiase, but somehow they wouldn’t have a big match for months. Here’s one from about eight months later on August 8, 1990.

Ted DiBiase vs. Big Bossman

This is a fan favorite match, meaning a fan requested it. The problem with this is simple: there’s no point to this at all. Luckily this was a bit of a feud from Wrestlemania which had a bit of time on a SNME so there’s a bit of history there I suppose. We’re in Providence here. Boss Man chases him out of the ring to start. When I say start I mean start to stall as DiBiase won’t come in and then tries to leave.

Boss Man curses loudly which isn’t something you hear in this era that often. After a two minute stall, Virgil’s distraction fails and Boss Man takes over. Atomic drop and a punch send DiBiase to the floor. Out to the floor and Boss Man crushes him, using the belt to whip and choke Ted out a bit. Finally a splash misses and Virgil slips in the nightstick. A shot to the ribs shifts momentum over to DiBiase. This isn’t particularly boring but it’s such a paint by numbers match.

Out to the floor again with Boss Man being sent into the post and steps. Did referees not DQ anyone back in this era? DiBiase wastes a lot of time and stomps away. More rib work follows after that earlier nightstick shot. Bearhug goes on as Mooney questions why the ribs are hurting. See what I have to work with here people? Boss Man gets out of it and a double clothesline puts both guys down.

DiBiase misses a middle rope double axe and flips over which he does so well. His athleticism was underrated. Virgil gets brought in too and it’s an old school double noggin knocker. It’s a DQ somewhere in there with it being given to DiBiase. WHAT THE HECK??? How in the world is that a DQ? Not only is this tape boring but it makes no sense. DiBiase and Virgil hammer away but Boss Man gets the stick and runs them off.

Rating: D+. Still a boring match and the ending was just stupid. How is it a DQ to beat up Virgil? I guess it’s over him pulling Virgil in but still dude, that’s as confusing an ending as I’ve seen since the last TNA show I watched. Not a bad match I guess but this tape is dead anyway so it’s not like it matters anyway.

Next up was a feud with the Heenan Family. Bobby Heenan insulted Big Boss Man’s mother and you don’t do that to a Georgia Boy. Heenan said Boss Man would have to face every member of the Family to get to him and that’s exactly what Boss Man did. He wound up facing Mr. Perfect for the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania VII.

Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Perfect is defending. This is an interesting yet simple idea for a story: Heenan had insulted Boss Man’s mama so Boss Man swore revenge. He went after the Heenan Family and beat every single one of them until there was only Perfect left. Tonight is the final showdown. They spit at each other to start and Perfect slaps Boss Man like a schmuck. Boss Man hits him once to knock Perfect out to the floor and there’s a spin around BY THE HAIR. FREAKING OW MAN!

Boss Man speeds around the corner and hits a big clothesline to take Hennig down. Perfect gets tossed out to the floor and Boss Man is standing tall. Back in and Boss Man hits the running crotch attack to Perfect’s back and whips him with a belt for good measure. Perfect finally avoids a shot and takes Boss Man down with some kicks to the ribs. Off to a chinlock with a knee in the back followed by an abdominal stretch. There’s the Hennig neck snap for two and Mr. goes up, only to jump into a boot.

Perfect gets to do his reverse crotching into the post but as they go to the floor, Boss Man is whipped into the steps to take him down again. Since it was a Heenan distraction that caused the whip into the steps, here’s Andre the Giant to counter the weasel. Andre picks up the belt and takes way too long to get to his position, from which he whacks Perfect in the head to knock him out cold. Boss Man covers but Haku and Barbarian run in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This wasn’t great and I have no idea why they didn’t change the title. The story set it up to be a title change, but I guess they were hoping for something else besides this. What that was I have no idea as Boss Man would never come close to the title again. The match was decent enough all things considered though.

Boss Man would be in the main event of Survivor Series 1991, desite there being no story to it whatsoever.

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

This is your main event people. Let that sink in for a minute. The LOD are the tag champions and IRS and Boss Man are having a worthless midcard feud. Boss Man and IRS start things off with the tax dude (if you need help figuring out who that is you’re beyond my help) getting thrown all over the place. Off to Animal vs. Earthquake which fires the crowd up a bit.

They collide and Animal’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker in an impressive display of strength from Quake. Back to IRS to face Hawk with the latter working on the arm. Typhoon gets the tag, only to have IRS thrown at him by Hawk. Off to Earthquake who carries Hawk to the heel corner. IRS and Boss Man come in again and it’s a briefcase shot to Boss Man’s head for the elimination.

It’s Typhoon vs. Animal now and the Disasters double team Animal in the corner. Quake suplexes him down as Monsoon talks about Bobo Brazil. IRS hits a top rope right hand for two and Typhoon puts on a bearhug. Animal escapes and hits a clothesline before tagging in Hawk. IRS misses a briefcase shot to the head and hits Typhoon by mistake, giving Hawk the easy pin.

Quake wants to fight IRS now but walks off with Typhoon instead, making it the LOD vs. IRS. Hawk powerslams IRS down but a charge goes shoulder first into the post. Hawk gets sent face first into the steps as we continue to fill time by having IRS look like he has a chance. We hit the chinlock as the announcers talk about Thanksgiving dinner. Not hot tag brings in Animal who cleans whatever is left in the house. IRS tries to walk out but runs into Boss Man in the aisle. Hawk hits a top rope clothesline for the win.

Rating: D+. We go from Hogan vs. Andre II to this in five years? That should give you a good idea as to what you’ve got going on with this show. The match was nothing and there was no reason to get excited about it, because the whole reason the match was happening had been postponed to Tuesday. In Texas.

Boss Man’s last WWF feud was against Nailz, who claimed to have been abused by Boss Man in prison. This led to a nightstick on a pole match at Survivor Series 1992.

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

This is a nightstick on a pole match, which means you can get it down and use the stick on the other guy. Is it a DQ if the person that doesn’t pull it down uses it? That’s how the rules sound. Nailz tries to get to the stick but Boss Man runs out for the save. Nailz isn’t a wrestler so him using nothing but chokes and punches makes perfect sense. He chokes Boss Man down but still can’t get the stick.

A right hand puts Nailz down and Boss Man gets his hand on the stick but he gets slammed down off the top. Nailz works on Boss Man’s back a bit and chokes away some more but Boss Man shoulders him down. A splash misses and Nailz goes for the corner again. He gets crotched as this is already slowing down. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Boss Man quickly gets to the corner to get the stick. Nailz barely sells a stick shot to the face but Boss Man no sells one to the ribs and hits the Boss Man Slam for the pin.

Rating: D. This was terrible with the no selling looking awful. I mean, it’s a nightstick to the head. There are only so many ways you can get hit with that and be up twenty seconds later. Nailz never did anything other than this although he was scheduled to feud with Undertaker. Boss Man would be gone after the Rumble and wouldn’t be back for years.

It was off to WCW after this, with one of the Boss’ (new name in WCW, and yes it caused a lawsuit) first big matches coming against Vader at Spring Stampede 1994.

The Boss vs. Vader

Guess who the Boss is. Almost right off the bat, Vader takes a HARD whip into the railing. Like I’ve said before, Boss was perfect for this feud as he had the size and power to stand up to Vader but wasn’t big enough that Vader’s offense would make no sense against him. This is a freaking fight. All night long has been physical but it’s been reigned in which is a huge help to it and it’s making the thing work a lot better. Vader is bleeding from the eye. That can’t be a good thing at all.

They’re just punching the tar out of each other here and it’s AWESOME stuff. Boss throws a freaking DDT off the middle rope. I’m into this also if you can’t tell. There’s not a lot to say here as it’s just them beating the crap out of each other with STIFF shots. The Vader Bomb gets two but the Vadersault ends this. I don’t think Boss ever pinned Vader even though they feuded all summer. Post match Boss goes nuts on Vader and Race with the nightstick. In the back Bockwinkle takes the stick and the cuffs away from him, leading to him becoming the Guardian Angel.

Rating: B. Again, this was far more of a fight than a match but it worked VERY well. The matches would get progressively worse, but the first ones were straight up fights. This worked fine although it could have been better. Just awesome fighting here which never gets old.

He would turn heel later in the year and eventually meet up with old rival Hulk Hogan in the main event of the first Monday Nitro.

WCW Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Big Bubba Rogers

Hogan is defending of course. Rogers is more famous as the Big Boss Man from the WWF, meaning this is another pairing with a lot of experience against each other. Hulk Hogan’s manager, and former rival, Jimmy Hart has stars and stripes pants and a jacket. He looks like a walking barber pole. The fans are going nuts for Hogan if nothing else, which shouldn’t surprise anyone at all.

Hogan shoves Bubba back to start but gets caught in a headlock. Bubba sends Hogan into the corner to stay on the champion but can’t ram him into the buckle. Instead it’s a backbreaker to put Hogan down for no cover, with Bubba opting to pound away in the corner instead. Hogan gets two straight boots up in the corner to stop a charging Bubba before pounding down right hands in the corner. A simple shot to the throat puts Hogan down again but Bubba goes after Jimmy Hart on the floor, allowing Hulk to come back again.

Back inside and Hogan wraps Jimmy’s jacket around Bubba’s head to pound away even more. Some hero. Hogan slams him down and drops some elbows but Bubba drives knees into the ribs to take over. Hogan avoids a splash in the corner but walks into Bubba’s trademark side slam for two. The champion Hulks Up, hits three straight right hands, a big boot to the face and drops the big leg to retain his title.

Rating: C. It’s exactly that: average. Hogan wrestled this exact same match probably a thousand times over his career and there’s nothing wrong with it. Why mess with the most successful formula of all time? This is the kind of thing the fans wanted to see and that’s exactly what they got here. Fine idea for a main event.

We’re going to jump WAY ahead here as 1996 and 1997 weren’t kind to Big Bubba. After joining and being thrown out of the NWO and now being known by his real name of Ray Traylor, he would go fight for WCW. Here’s a match from January 5, 1998 on Nitro.

Buff Bagwell/Scott Norton/Konnan vs. Ray Traylor/Steiner Brothers

Traylor and Konnan get things going with Ray missing a charge into the corner and getting clotheslined down. Konnan loads up a DDT but Scott Steiner takes his head off with a clothesline to break it up. Bagwell gets slapped to the floor as Scott Steiner stomps on Konnan’s head. Everything breaks down and the NWO is sent to the floor. Bagwell gets the tag but wants Rick instead of Scott.

Rick poses a bit in a funny spot, causing Buff to go off with right hands. That lasts all of four seconds as Rick suplexes him down and gets two off a Steiner Line. Back to Ray to face Norton with Traylor being taken down like he’s nothing. Ray comes back with an uppercut and it’s back to Rick for a top rope clothesline.

The NWO finally starts cheating to let Buff take over and Rick gets beaten down by all three NWO guys. Rick finally clotheslines Buff down and tags in his brother as everything breaks down. Everything breaks down and the Steiners set up the Steiner Bulldog, only to have Scott drop Buff down in an electric chair. Rick is distracted but his brother hits the awesome Steiner Screwdriver on Konnan for the pin. DiBiase gets in some kicks to Vincent for old times’ sake.

Rating: C+. This match goes up a letter or so because of the Steiner Screwdriver. If there has ever been a more devastating looking move I can’t think of it off the top of my head. If you’ve never seen it, picture a delayed vertical suplex but instead of falling back, Scott drops the other guy straight down on his head like a fast piledriver. It’s incredibly dangerous but so sweet to watch. That lack of the Steiner Bulldog at the end isn’t a good sign for the Brothers though.

Traylor would head back to the WWF and join Vince McMahon’s Corporation as the Big Boss Man. Vince would reward him with a Hardcore Title shot on Raw on November 30, 1998.

Hardcore Title: Big Bossman vs. Mankind

Ladder match. Shawn comes out with Boss Man and climbs the ladder for old times’ sake. Boss Man knocks Mankind into the ladder as Shawn ejects the JOB Squad who came with Mankind. Shawn jumps in on commentary as Boss Man is sent into the steps. Mankind throws the ladder at Bossman’s head as Shawn is giving scores to every move Mankind does. Foley drops the ladder on Boss Man and they head inside.

Boss Man gets crushed between the ladder and an elbow drop onto the ladder onto Boss Man onto the ladder crushes him even more. Mankind vs. Rock for the title at Rock Bottom is confirmed. Boss Man keeps Mankind from getting the belt but walks into a double arm DDT. Another climb is countered and Boss Man slams Mankind down (getting a ten from Shawn) and they fight on top of the ladder. Socko goes into Boss Man’s mouth but here’s Rock to shove the ladder and Mankind over. Mankind gets back up and hits Rock low but gets knocked off the ladder again. The Rock Bottom allows Boss Man to win the title.

Rating: D. This is in the time of Russo and there’s one of your first instances of the title being a prop in a feud. Now to be fair it’s not like the Hardcore Title was ever meant to mean anything, but it clearly is being treated like nothing at all here other than a way to enhance Rock and Mankind’s feud. The match only had six minutes to work with too so it didn’t get anywhere.

Less than a month later, Boss Man had a chance to become a double champion on the December 14, 1998 episode of Raw.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Big Bossman/Ken Shamrock

The Outlaws are defending. Shawn is out with the challengers. Also, last night Shamrock went after Billy’s leg with a chair. That becomes important later. Billy and Boss Man start things off and Boss Man knocks him down, only to have Billy ask him to do it again. Boss Man does it again and Billy doesn’t get up. Serves the idiot right. Off to Road Dogg who does about as well, getting sent into the corner with authority. Boss Man misses a charge and it’s back to Billy.

Boss Man tries to crotch him on the post but gets pulled face first into the post instead. Off to Shamrock who goes after Billy’s leg for a good while. Boss Man comes back in and Billy falls down while being whipped to the corner because of the leg work. Shamrock comes back in and tries a standing rana but Billy powerbombs him down to counter.

The double tag brings in Roadie to face Boss Man and Shawn cracks Road Dogg in the back with a chair. The Boss Man Slam gets two and Road Dogg hits Boss Man low for absolutely no penalty. Back to Billy but Shawn whacks him with a pipe. The ankle lock goes on but Billy is out and we have new champions.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t any good but it gave the Corporation yet another title. I believe they have everything but the European Title and the Light Heavyweight Title at the moment. Anyway this wasn’t much but at least it was short. The wrestling in the Attitude Era just wasn’t that good and most of the time that was because no one really cared about it. The fans were there for the drama and that’s about it.

Boss Man would stay in the Hardcore division for most of 1999, including getting a title shot on the first regular episode of Smackdown.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Bossman

I guess he stole the dog on Monday. Yep, the dog is nervous and Jerry is no longer dry. Yeah that’s not really funny. Snow only cares about getting his dog back so he’s distracted. This is all of three minutes long and ends with Bossman slamming Snow in the head with the nightstick.

He of course leaves, stealing Pepper again in the process. A week later they would meet in a hotel room where Snow would be given dinner that was, you guessed it, Pepper. It ended up being decided in the Kennel From Hell match. If you from to see something awful, go look that one up.

Rating: C. I’ll go with average because it’s just too short to really grade. Snow did next to nothing, but that fit with the storyline of him being nervous and upset. I really don’t know where they thought this would wind up going, but whoever thought the Kennel match was a good idea should be shot.

Boss Man would get into a feud with Big Show, who would become WWF Champion due to an injury to Austin. This gave Boss Man a title shot at Armageddon 1999.

WWF Title: Big Boss Man vs. Big Show

Should be a big match. This is for nothing more than to make Show’s reign not look transitional which it totally was. You have to remember that Show is still in shape and kind of slim here so he’s completely lethal. Prince Albert is with Boss Man here. He’s chokeslammed through a table in like a minute but it lets Boss Man get a step shot.

The fans think this is boring. To you new fans, here’s an idea of what Big Show from this era was capable of. He kicks out of a cover and NIPS UP. You read that right: The Big Show Nipped Up. A huge boot and the chokeslam end this in like 3 minutes. Show looked AWESOME here.

Rating: B. This is what it should have been. Big Show destroyed him and looked great doing it. He shrugged off weapons and everything Boss Man threw at him like it was nothing. This was great and it came off great. Total dominance and I loved it far more than I ever should have.

Boss Man would form a team with Bull Buchanan and open Wrestlemania 2000 in a strange choice for a match.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan

Eh? We’re opening the show that’s supposed to lead the WWF and therefore the wrestling business into the new millennium and this is what you give us? And people wonder why wrestling went downhill in a hurry once WCW died. Godfather and Brown are rapped to the ring by Ice T, who I try to block out as most of the time these live intros are awful. Brown is a co-pimp here.

Remember the catchy Godfather entrance? This isn’t close to it. Ice T does some song that includes the lyric Pimp Or Die. Something sound bad about that? This intro goes on WAY too long and sums up what I hate about rap: this whole thing is just loud and stupid sounding. It was built to market a CD called Aggression which was a rap album of WWF entrance themes. In case you can’t guess, it bombed.

After that completely pointless intro, Godfather decides he has to do his awful intro, saying for everyone to smoke a blunt and say it ain’t easy. FINALLY Bossman’s terribly bland theme music plays and the pain in my head goes away a little bit. Godfather has really stupid looking dreadlocks here and is somehow dumber looking than usual.

There’s really no reason as to why these two are feuding in case you thought there was. Is it possible that D’Lo Brown is the most successful of these four men? I do believe he is and that’s a scary thought. Anyway let’s get to this. Brown vs. Buchanan to start us off with Brown controlling so far. Godfather takes Boss Man’s interfering head off while Brown is on offense.

Off to the pimp now as the fans want puppies. Big elbow misses as we talk about JR wearing some of Godfather’s clothes for some reason. Basically Boss Man dominates when he’s in and Buchanan can do one move, that running up the corner into a spinning clothesline. Blind tag brings in the Boss Man who gets two on Brown as Godfather saves.

Axe kick by Buchanan gets two. Brown and Boss Man on the floor now and Godfather accidently clotheslines the referee. I say accidently as the referee doesn’t even go down so it wasn’t the point obviously. Boss Man gets two on Brown who is the face in peril here. Buchanan with a bearhug now as the fans chant for D’lo.

Naturally that doesn’t do it but an elbow takes down Brown. Double teaming by the guys in black as Godfather just looks freaking stupid. Boss Man sucks chant starts up. The beating goes on for awhile with Buchanan hitting a double axe off the top. We talk about Pete Rose for a bit and apparently he’s got a ball bat with him just in case.

Godfather shakes the ropes to crotch Godfather and Brown busts out a rana to break the momentum. Here’s Godfather who cleans some house. Ho Train hits Boss Man in the corner sets up the Lo Down from Brown. Bull pushes him off the top though but Brown lands on his feet. Boss Man Slam kills D’lo though and a guillotine leg drop from Buchanan ends this.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but at the same time it’s Godfather/Brown vs. Boss Man/Buchanan. It’s not a terrible match but is this really what you want to open Mania? Also, a heel team winning the opener? Just not a great idea especially after the crowd got fired up for the rapping. Not bad but just odd.

We’ll wrap it up there as Boss Man would be in the meaningless team for the rest of the year before leaving for most of 2001. Boss Man would have a meaningless return in 2002 where he would be in the main event for a cup of coffee, realize he wasn’t capable of doing that anymore, and head back down the card before being taken off TV soon after.

Big Boss Man was a very talented guy who could move far faster than someone his size should have been able to do. He also stuck around for a long time and was perfect for his role. No he wasn’t the top guy in the company at any time, but he was able to beat people up with a nightstick and give them a feud before they got to the big feud. That’s a valuable person to have and Boss Man ran with it for over fifteen years.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Again, yesterday was a very bad day, but the Network is a long term plan and always has been.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at: