Well we have to get this one over with I guess. This is the least interesting and probably least built up show I can remember in years. As of 5:05 PM on the day of the show, we have five matches scheduled for the show, not counting the pre-show match. There are bound to be some matches added, which have to help this show. This is one of the PPVs I’m going into with zero expectations which usually helps a show a lot. That being said, I’m not sure if it works if you plan that way in advance. Let’s get to it.

Apparently there’s been a battle royal added to the show and the winner gets to pick the IC or US Title to challenge for tonight. That’ll help a lot.

Pre-Show: Kane vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder is taken into the corner but shoves Kane away and shouts that he’s not afraid. WHY DID HE NEVER FREAKING DO THAT WHEN HE WAS US CHAMPION THEN??? Ryder gets him to chase him and hits a kind of baseball slide. I really like the set as it looks like a speedometer much like the videos have looked. A suicide dive puts Kane down as he keeps looking for a countout.

Back in and Ryder pounds away but it’s short lived as Kane knocks him down and starts using the power. Clothesline gets two. Off to a bearhug which doesn’t last long. Seated dropkick gets two and it’s off to a body vice. Ryder fights out of it with elbows and hits a quick neckbreaker for two. He snaps Kane’s throat on the top rope but as he goes up, Kane hits an uppercut. Kane charges into the corner knees but the Rough Ryder is countered and a side slam gets two. Ryder comes back again and hits the Broski Boot for one. He loads up the Rough Ryder but charges into the chokeslam for the pin at 6:47.

Rating: C+. No complaints here but again, WHERE WAS THIS RYDER IN JANUARY??? That’s my big issue with Ryder’s destruction by Kane back then: he didn’t even fight. They spent a month and a half building him as this newly confident guy and then he turned into a coward that would rather change a tire than USE THE WRENCH HE WAS HOLDING to fight Kane. Ryder went straight at Kane here and lost, which would have annoyed me back then but I could have lived with it. The match was fine.

Battle Royal

The battle royal is on the pre-show too? Dang I was about to turn it off too. We have Miz, Khali, JTG, Ezekiel Jackson, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Michael McGillicutty, Yoshi Tatsu, Tyson Kidd, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Titus O’Neil, Darren Young, Alex Riley, David Otunga, William Regal (BIG chant), and Christian.

This is going to be on the PPV which is good. The winner can pick the US Title or IC Title to challenge for later tonight. There are 20 men in all. This is a cool idea to start the show with. No opening video either. They start with the usual punching and kicking until Khali throws Slater out. There goes McGillicutty by the same man. The Usos hit a double superkick to put JTG out, making me love them even more.

Drew suplexes Yoshi out and he lands BAD on his ankle. If he’s not hurt it’ll be a miracle. Reks and Hawkins put Jackson out just before Darren Young puts an Uso out. Someone puts McIntyre out. I’m sorry for all of the “so and so is out” but there’s not much else you can say until a lot of the guys are gone. Khali puts out Hawkins and Reks and does the same to Mahal. I think there are ten left.

Regal tries to put Kidd out but gets caught in a chokeout. Miz, Young and O’Neil team up to put Khali out. That more or less leaves Miz, Christian and maybe Otunga as the only likely winners. Jackson misses a charge and the remaining Uso kicks him out. Young and let’s say Jey go to the apron and Young knocks him out. Ok we have Miz, Young, Kidd, Regal (out as I type his name, drawing HUGE boos), Christian, Kidd and Otunga. Riley dropkicks Young out to get it to five.

Riley hits a spinebuster on Miz but gets sent to the apron. He goes up top but Miz guillotines him to get it to four. It’s Christian, Miz, Kidd and Otunga. Otunga sends Christian’s shoulder into the post as Kidd kicks Miz. I think Christian is a face here. Kidd gets sent to the apron but hits a springboard missile dropkick to knock Miz and Otunga down. Kidd goes to the apron and tries to headscissor Kidd out, but Otunga dumps Tyson.

Otunga and Miz team up against Christian for a double beating but the corner clothesline misses. Christian dumps Otunga and has to hang on from a sneak attack by Miz. The Finale is countered and Christian is thrown to the apron. Miz chokes him on the apron with a boot but Christian kicks him away. From the apron, Christian throws Miz to the apron as well and a shoulder to the ribs gives the Canadian the win at 12:36.

Rating: C. This was a better battle royal than I’m used to. Christian returning and winning was a nice surprise as he seems to have turned face again. I like him better in that role so seeing him getting a push as a good guy should be a nice change of pace. Fun match here which was a nice surprise.

Christian picks Santino in a surprising move.

Now we get the opening video, which is about change and people power.

Vickie suggests she’ll be the new GM if Ace loses.

Tag Titles: Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Kofi and Swagger get us going. Jack takes it to the mat but opts for a standing top wristlock instead. Not much happens so it’s off to Truth for a double hiptoss. Spinning legdrop gets two. Ziggler comes in but Kofi gets a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick for two. Swagger gets in a shot from the apron and a tag to take over. He works on the arm some more and it’s off to Truth who speeds things up.

Vickie distracts the referee which results in Dolph getting his head kicked off. Swagger puts Truth down and hits the Vader Bomb for two. Ziggler comes back in with a Crossface of all things as King is talking about Vickie’s navel. Cole: “If you two were as good at commentating as you were at looking at Vickie you’d be in the Hall of Fame.” King: “I already am.” That was funny for some reason.

Swagger takes Truth down but Truth comes back with a flurry of punches. They don’t get him anywhere as Ziggler comes in for a double team, getting two. Dolph does the handstands on the chinlock which is impressive. Back to Jack who takes Truth into the corner but gets caught by a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Double tag brings in Kofi and Dolph and an SOS gets two. Springboard cross body gets two as Jack makes the save. As Kofi is coming back in he gets caught by a Fameasser for two. Truth dives onto Swagger and Dolph jumps with a Stinger Splash, right into Trouble in Paradise to retain at 12:28.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I was enjoying this match. Kofi and Dolph have some awesome chemistry together and it worked very well here. They’re clearly building to a big rematch with the Colons, if you can call that big of course. Pretty good match here and I was really liking it by the end.

Eve tells Hawkins and Reks to go into the crowd and confiscate all anti-Laurinitis signs. Otunga says this is legally ok. There has to be a rib here somewhere.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Beth Phoenix

Layla is defending. She grabs a headlock to start but Beth powers her down. The fans want Kharma. Layla takes her back down and pounds away, including an elbow into a charging Beth. Beth counters a rana (I think) out of the corner into a powerbomb to work on the knee. She wraps it around the post and slams her down for two.

There’s a half crab and a tap chant. Layla comes back with a rolling cradle for two. This is a really boring match. After a quick bit on the apron, the Glam Slam is countered into a kind of DDT for two. Another attempt is countered into a rollup for two but Beth counters into one of her own with tights for two. Beth takes the knee out again but walks into the Layout for the pin at 7:13.

Rating: D. I usually don’t like Divas matches but this one was especially boring. The Kharma chants just kept reminding me that they’re keeping the belt warm for her. Layla and Beth are both good looking, but for the life of me I have no desire to watch them have a wrestling match. The ending was better than the rest of the match.

We go to Orton and see a clip of him hitting the RKO after losing to Sheamus. He says Sheamus would have done the same to him. Jericho comes up and says he enjoyed the match on Smackdown with the two of them beating on each other. He says he’ll win, but Orton says that Jericho will only be the best in the world at losing to him.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton

I’ve been looking forward to this. During the big match intros, the announcers talk about how he has a 25% chance of winning. Wouldn’t they always have at best a 50% chance? Anyway Jericho goes after Orton and Del Rio jumps Sheamus. The good guys almost have a rematch from Friday but the heels jump them again. Del Rio and Jericho are knocked to the floor and it’s rematch time.

Sheamus takes over but gets pulled to the floor by Jericho and thrown into the barricade. Del Rio jumps Orton and works on the arm. The fans chant SI as Del Rio and Jericho have a brief alliance. Alberto heads to the floor and works on Sheamus’ arm, sending him into the table. In the ring Orton suplexes Jericho and stomps him for two. The heels team up again but once Jericho goes for a cover it’s time to fight.

Orton comes back to clothesline Del Rio to the floor and it’s Randy vs. Jericho for a bit. Enziguri gets two for the Canadian. Sheamus has apparently stopped living as he’s been gone for about three minutes now. Cole talks about Raw going three hours as Orton loads up a superplex. Del Rio makes the save for some reason and Orton goes to the floor with Jericho. Sheamus comes back with the top rope shoulder and some knees to Del Rio in the corner.

Regal Roll puts Del Rio down again and Sheamus shouts BROGUE. Del Rio blocks it with an enziguri for two. Into the corner and Sheamus fires off a bunch of elbows to Del Rio’s head. That corner has been a bad place for him so far. Powerslam gets two. The periods of guys laying on the floor is a lot longer tonight. Del Rio takes out the knee and a dropkick to Sheamus while the champ is on his knees gets two.

Del Rio misses a charging kick and gets caught in position for the ten forearms. Jericho pops up with a shot to the back, sending Del Rio and Sheamus to the floor and onto Ricardo. Orton comes back in with the powerslams to Jericho and an elevated DDT to the champion. Cross armbreaker beaks up the RKO but Jericho saves Randy. Lionsault gets knees from Del Rio but Orton hits the backbreaker on Jericho. Irish Curse puts Del Rio down but Orton tries the RKO. Sheamus escapes and misses the Kick but he counters the RKO into a rollup like Friday for two. Orton sends him into the post and out to the floor. Great sequence.

Double DDT takes out Del Rio and Ricardo but Del Rio sends Orton to the floor. Cross armbreaker to Jericho is counters into the Walls (SWEET) but Sheamus comes in to break it up. Jericho ducks the Kick and hits the Codebreaker for two. Cole picks NOW to plug WWE.com. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Jericho hits his finisher so TIME TO PLUG THE WEBSITE!!! Regal Roll is countered into the Walls but Randy RKOs him. Del Rio saves that and takes one of his own. Brogue Kick takes down Orton (great selling) and Jericho rolls Sheamus up with tights for two. I thought that was it. White Noise to Jericho retains at 16:00.

Rating: A. That’s probably high but I really dug this. It was the match I’ve been looking forward to the most all night and it certainly didn’t disappoint. Those finisher parades were great and I was really wondering who was going to get the win, which is the best thing a match can do. Thank goodness they went with this instead of Sheamus vs. Del Rio. I really liked this.

Cody and Eve talk in the back and Rhodes is glad the IC Title is getting legitimized tonight. He says he would have embarrassed Christian tonight and guess who is behind him. Christian changes his mind and is challenging Cody tonight. That’s an intriguing feud if they let Cody be himself.

Here’s Miz for a match but he has a mic first. He also has the coat back which is an upgrade. Miz says that the fans should be praising his existence. Everything that is wrong with the WWE can be summed up in two words: Brodus Clay. Miz says he’s a better dancer and shows off a little bit. Brodus does his stuff and looks like a pumpkin with orange and black this week.

Brodus Clay vs. The Miz

This isn’t a dance off thank goodness. Miz gets shoved into the corner and has his forearms shrugged off. Brodus rams Miz into the corner and hits a suplex. Miz tries to go up top but gets heabutted down. Miz sends Clay into the post on the floor. Back in a pair of top rope ax handles put Brodus down to his knee. Boot to the head gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Brodus gets up and runs him over, then hits his overhead suplex from the middle rope. Splash ends this at 4:13.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Brodus match. The problem with him at the end of the day is there’s really nothing you can do with him at this stage. He’s squashing bigger names now and the dancing with kids (going on right now) is a nice touch, but they need to give him some adversity or something at all to do so he can move up without things looking silly.

Reks and Hawkins are stealing signs.

Cody complains about the fans being happy with him having to defend the title tonight. He talks about his dad not letting him come to any shows in North Carolina as a kid, and now he knows it’s because he’s better than everyone else. Tonight he’ll prove that he’s better than Christian. I’m liking these short pre-match promos. They add a little something to them.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes

Christian throws him to the floor to start and Cody is frustrated. Cody comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two and we hit the armbar/neckcrank. Christian gets up but gets dropkicked in the back of his head for two. Cody works him over in the corner and we head outside. The champ climbs the steps like he’s setting for the Disaster Kick but hits a dropkick instead.

Back inside and Cody jumps into a punch to the ribs. Pendulum Kick sets up a middle rope missile dropkick for two. The crowd has gone dead after the foruway. Killswitch is broken up but Christian pops him in the face to keep momentum. Top rope dropkick misses and Cody rolls him up for two. Tornado DDT is countered and Christian stands there for the moonsault press (looked really stupid) for two. Cody yells at the fans about being tired of being jerked around and walks into the Killswitch to give us a new champion at 7:28.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty dull but I’m very pleased with this change. Cody being depushed like he was made the title look horrible and getting it off Rhodes was the best thing they could do. Christian is a steady hand and you know you’re going to get passable matches out of him at worst. Also having him as a face is a plus to me. Boring match, good result.

We go to Punk in the back and see a clip from the end of the Punk vs. Kane match with Bryan getting Punk a beating by Kane. Punk is happy that tonight Ace will be out of a job. First up though is Daniel Bryan who he’s known for ten years. Ten years ago, if you had told Vince that these two would be fighting for the WWE Title on a WWE PPV, you would hear him ask who they both were (complete with a funny Vince imitation). Bryan is a changed man and those changes have gotten on his bad side. Tonight won’t just be a five star classic, but it’ll be…..and here’s AJ who says this is going to be fun. She wishes Punk luck.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

Cole again plugs WWE.com which has an article about their history. You know, because Cole can’t TELL US THOSE THINGS. Feeling out process to start and Punk takes him into the corner and kicks at the leg. The fans seem totally split. A quick headlock goes nowhere so Punk works on the knee some more. Modified Indian Deathlock goes on from the champ but Bryan gets on top of him and fires off forearms.

Punk weathers that and hits a curb stomp of all things for two. He sends Bryan to the floor but Bryan is ready for him and sends Punk back first into the barricade. The bad ribs are draped over the barricade and Bryan takes over. Back in a top rope missile dropkick (with knee selling) gets two. Bryan hooks a seated abdominal stretch with some elbows to the ribs. Knee drop gets one.

Punk tries a Figure Four out of nowhere (complete with WOO chants. We’re in North Carolina remember) but Bryan rolls him up for two. There’s a surfboard (complete with YES each time he rocks back) which is always cool to me. Bryan keeps Punk’s legs in the air and bends his face down into a dragon sleeper at the same time. FREAKING OW MAN! Off to a regular dragon sleeper but Punk comes back with forearms of his own. That’s some nice storytelling as they’ve mirrored each other completely, even down to the counter into mounted forearms, for the first ten minutes.

Bryan hits a hard running knee drop to the back to keep Punk down. Another misses and Punk gets a Perfectplex for two. Bryan suplexes him down and hits a swan dive headbutt for two. Off to a chinlock with a knee in the back of the champ. Punk gets up and they both hit cross bodies to put both guys down. Back up and Punk fires off forearms and hits the neckbreaker.

Punk tries the corner clothesline but gets kicked in the face. Powerslam gets two for the champ. Bryan escapes a suplex but Punk backdrops him to the floor. Suicide dive takes Daniel down but he hits a dropkick to counter the springboard clothesline for two. Bryan fires off the kicks but the last one is caught in a dragon screw leg whip. Figure Four goes on and the fans get fired up again.

With the hold on they slap it out but Punk doesn’t let go of the hold. Bryan makes the rope and Booker shouts that he has til five. Knee crusher is countered into a sunset flip for two. Punk’s rollup gets the same. Bryan tries something with the arm but Punk pulls away. Bryan is cool with that and kicks Punk’s head off for two. They go to the corner and Punk crotches Bryan on the top.

With Bryan sitting on the ropes, Punk hits the springboard clothesline for two. We’re at almost twenty minutes now and they’re showing no signs of ending soon. The fans think this is awesome. I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard that at a WWE show. They trade forearms from their knees and Punk takes over with his strikes. GTS is countered into a rollup for two.

YES Lock is countered into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron. He skins the cat but walks into a high kick for two. Bryan put his foot on the rope so Punk hooks it for another two. I like that. Macho Elbow hits but the ribs are too hurt to cover. A Randy Savage chant starts up as Punk gets two. Bryan goes off, firing knees into the ribs. He charges but the running dropkick misses.

Running knee hits but the bulldog is countered into the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Bryan pulls too hard and Punk falls on top for the pin at 24:04. He was tapping at the same time though so there’s your rematch at No Way Out. I think the pin stands though. Replay shows that the three count was clearly done before Punk tapped and the announcers acknowledged it.

Rating: A. Yep it was great. This whole show has been great but unfortunately these two are going to get blamed when the show tanks because no one wants to see Ace in the ring because no one cares about him. Anyway, the match was great and I have no complaints about it at all. The crowd reaction was great too, which is something you don’t get anymore in WWE so that’s a good sign too.

Yeah another replay shows that the referee was almost up to his feet saying ring the bell before Punk tapped. It’s not even close.

Eve and Otunga are in the back and run into Teddy. He’s happy because if Ace loses, the two of them might get fired.

Camacho vs. Ryback

Lillian says that it’s Hunico but it’s Camacho. Good reaction for Ryback who has Nexus like R bands on his arm. What do you expect here? We get Goldberg chants, some offense from Camacho, spinebuster, a powerbomb and the MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:52.

We recap the main event. Ace calls it People Power, naturally he’s corrupt boss #8000 and brings in Lesnar to be his big machine, only to have Lesnar lose to Cena in his first match. This leads to Ace vs. Cena and if Cena wins, Ace is fired. Oh and if any wrestler interferes, he’s fired. Did I mention Big Show was fired on Monday?

John Cena vs. John Laurinatis

We hear about some All Japan titles and I quote, “one of the greatest tag teams of all times in the Dynamic Dudes.” For those of you unfamiliar, NO. Just NO. Ace is in a full body black suit which is skin tight. I think it’s Under Armour. Just to be clear: The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Johnny Ace. Also for the sake of this, if I use the name John, I will only be referring to Cena. You can only win by pin or submission and if Ace loses he’s fired.

Ace immediately runs to the crowd but Cena catches him. He rips the Armour up and hits a loud chop to the chest and the back. LONG airplane spin puts Ace on the floor and Cena rings the bell next to his ear. Cena puts Ace in Cole’s chair and puts a headset on him. He grabs a mic and says he’ll be Booker while Ace is Cole. Cena’s imitations of both guys are pretty good and Ace says FIVE TIME while half unconscious. Ace has had no offense at all.

Back into the ring and Ace begs for mercy. He extends a hand which gets him slammed. Cena grabs a mic and says he has an idea. He says he’s about to put Ace in the STF and if Ace taps, he’s fired. If Ace can last ten seconds, Cena will let go and in the name of PEOPLE POWER, the fans can keep time. Cena lets go at ten and says the good news is that Ace survived. The bad news is he’s going to do it again. Cena isn’t cranking on it at all.

John goes to the floor and gets some water. He thinks Ace needs some water too so he gets three bottles and pours them over Ace. One of them go down Ace’s pants. Now it’s time for a fire extinguisher. Ace begs for mercy so Cena only sprays him a bit. It’s been hot around here so that doesn’t sound half bad right now. Cena sprays him for about fifteen seconds and Ace looks like a snowman. This is hilarious so far.

Cena finds a trashcan which is full of popcorn and drinks. Well at least it washes the foam off. Ace gets into the crowd as Cena is looking for more stuff but Cena catches him. Ace gets in a shot to the bad arm and Cena is in some trouble. The arm goes into the table as Cole is losing his mind. It goes into the steps and Ace grabs a chair. Naturally, he hits Cena in the ribs instead of the arm but at least he’s trying. A few shots to the back get two.

Cena blocks a chair shot to the head and trips Ace’s legs with it. Instead of the Shuffle, Cena drives the chair into Ace’s face. He picks Ace up but takes a low blow to put him back down again. Ace goes into the crowd again and slowly crawls up the aisle. He gets past the floor seats and Cena is still in the ring. Ace gets out of the arena and the referee isn’t sure what to do.

And here it is. Big Show pops up with Ace by his throat and drags him back to the ring. He throws Ace back in (with a beer gut the size of your local luchador) and Cena is ready. Ace begs off some more so Show stands on his hand. Cena puts him in the AA and of course Show punches him to the shock of no one. Ace gets the pin at 17:08.

Rating: C. The match was a comedy match until the end. I’ll go with a rating in the middle because I enjoyed the big beating but when you know the ending, it’s like watching a movie for the second time. Everyone who has watched more than five minutes of wrestling could tell you what was going to happen there and it’s nothing most people seem interested in from what I’ve read.

Everyone is SHOCKED to end the show. SHOCKED I SAY!

Overall Rating: B+. You know I was LOVING this show before the ending. There were two great matches here, but the ending is the same stuff that has made ratings fall week after week but this is what has been chosen and that’s what we’re going to get. It’ll be Cena vs. Show over the summer and Lesnar vs. lawyers or whatever and Punk/Bryan/Sheamus will be blamed when people stop watching because their 10 minutes a week are the problem, not the 30 minutes the other stuff gets. Great show with a bad ending though.

Results
Christian won a battle royal, last eliminating The Miz
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger – Trouble in Paradise to Ziggler
Layla b. Beth Phoenix – Layout
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio, Chris Jericho and Randy Orton – White Noise to Jericho
Brodus Clay b. The Miz – Splash
Christian b. Cody Rhodes – Killswitch
CM Punk b. Daniel Bryan – Rollup
Ryback b. Camacho – MuscleBuster
John Laurinaitis b. John Cena – Pin after WMD from Big Show

Remember to like this on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Well, Summerslam has come and gone. Paul Bearer famously turned on Taker to join Mankind after the Boiler Room Brawl. Shawn survived against Vader, and Ahmed had to vacate the IC belt due to injury. Marc Mero would win it the night after this show though. Other than that, not a lot of note has happened. I remember being afraid as a kid that Mankind would take the title here.

As silly as that was, it was a legitimate possibility. However, other than that this card looks pretty weak. Just six matches, but aside from one the shortest is a respectable 5 minutes and 13 seconds. This show gets a lot of praise though, so let’s see if it lives up to the hype.

Free For All-Savio Vega vs. Marty Jannetty

DANG Jannetty just won’t go away will he? The most interesting part of this match is Jannetty’s partner in the New Rockers, Leif Cassidy, more commonly known as Al Snow at ringside. The crowd is chanting the name of some independent northeastern wrestling organization. There’s some dude in the front row that’s really short and looks tough. His tattoo says Toz or something like that.

There’s some dude chugging beer next to him. The third guy there looks….well he looks……he looks hardcore. He’s hardcore? He’s hardcore? He’s HARDCORE! Bradshaw is in the back and apparently is angry that he’s never been on Pay Per View. Oh how that will change. Also, JR mentions he saw the Undertaker come in and go to his dressing room. How weird does that sounds?

Anyway, we have a bad match to watch here. Vince and JR actually acknowledge the ECW chants, saying that this is the home base of their independent company. They thank them for joining WWF for the evening and are glad they bought tickets. My goodness…that was borderline classy.

I know it was planned but still, they weren’t jerks about it. In something that is making me laugh, JR mentions he saw Jim Cornette eating two triple cheeseburgers from a fast food place. For some reason that I simply don’t understand, Jim Cornette’s eating habits at Wendy’s are legendary in the wrestling business. A number three combo large with no lettuce or tomato, extra cheese and no ketchup or mustard with a sprite.

I didn’t look that up, I just knew it off the top of my head, and that’s exactly what he would order every time. Look it up on his website and you’ll see that I’m right. This match is just boring for the most part. It’s just your standard one on one match that ends with Marty getting reversed and pinned.

Rating: D. There was nothing here and the talk of cheeseburgers was more interesting. That’s simply not a good sign at all. Nothing match and just relatively bland. It was free though so that helps things out.

Good opening video but the editing is a bit odd. We get the package of Mankind vs. Shawn, then Goldust vs. Taker, then another on Mankind and Shawn. That just doesn’t make a lot of sense. Very lackluster welcome from Vince. There’s also no music playing, which just kind of kills the mood.

Strap Match-Savio Vega vs. Justin Hawk Bradshaw

This match is a result of what happened on the Free For All. See, again the match was bad, but it served a bit of a purpose for the PPV. I like how Savio is built up as a god in these matches. It’s something unique about him and it gives him a specialty, kind of like Foley and hardcore. Anyway, this match is rather infamous. Like I said this is ECW country.

During this match, Sandman, Dreamer and Taz create a small riot in the front row as Sandman spits beer at Vega. There’s a huge ordeal and all kinds of security guarding them, which completely takes away from the match but who cares about that. I particularly like how the commentators keep talking about how great this match is until the beer incident. Once that happens, they more or less make it sounds like it’s time to just end this.

That’s a shame too as this wasn’t a terrible match. The stipulation was pretty random, but at least it was something that fit with Savio and continued this mini feud that had been going on for months now with no one caring about it. The finish though was exactly the same as Vega/Austin from a few months ago. Vega holds on to get the first three but then we get a tug of war and Savio is launched into the fourth corner.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all really, but it’s overshadowed by the ECW incident. I’ve long since been a fan of this kind of stipulation, but I’d like to see it as a match for a solid feud and not just something that’s there for the sake of filler. As long as they had been feuding for, this was filler and nothing more. Not bad, but for seven minutes, what are you expecting?

Jose Lothario vs. Jim Cornette

This is just a manager vs. manager match. However, Cornette is more known for his eating abilities and not his work in the ring. Lothario trained HBK and Bobby Lashley, as well as had a relatively successful career in Texas during the 70s.

This started a month ago in a face to face debate that of course turned into a fight. Since then, Super Sock, which was Lothario’s nickname, beat up Cornette on a regular basis. Of course, Cornette got in all the standard old guy jokes: when he was in school there was no history, his social security number is 1, etc.

For some reason, before this match we jump to the back to see “Razor Ramon and Diesel” beat up Savio Vega. This was just a strange angle that never made a bit of sense to me at all. For some reason the decision was made to turn JR heel.

He started going on these absurd rants about how he was the reason WWF was as successful as it was, and promised to bring back Razor and Diesel. They weren’t the real ones obviously and it was a bomb. The fake Razor never did anything of note but a year later the fake Diesel would become known as Kane.

The whole thing made no sense at all and no one bought it. About a month later the company woke up and realized that JR simply isn’t a heel character so they just dropped the angle all together.

Anyway, Jose comes out to Shawn’s music. This match is just hysterical. Cornette is about 240lbs but fat. Jose is 62 years old and in decent shape. He beats Cornette in about a minute, but the jokes that JR and Perfect get in during that time are just great. Cornette is without a doubt one of the funniest guys I have ever seen and this is no exception. He’s so on here it’s amazing.

Rating: N/A. Hardly a match but not enough to grade really.

Savio says he’s not sure who attacked him but it might have been Razor and Diesel.

We go back to the arena where Brian Pillman comes out and says that he’s upset at Bret. Apparently Bret bailed out of an interview that Brian had set up. We see a video from Bret saying that there was never an interview and Pillman is lying. Pillman says that Philadelphia is a horrible city with drugs, prostitution etc. He says that he’ll bring out someone to clean up the city and out comes Owen.

Owen says Bret needs to retire, and brings out Stone Cold. Austin says things like Bret claims to be the excellence of execution but Austin lives it instead of saying it. Austin is on top of his game here but it wouldn’t be until Bret answered his challenge that Austin was launched into the stratosphere. This was most entertaining.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

Pretty much Camp Cornette was just handed the #1 contender spot simply because everyone knew they were the best team in the company. This match was pretty much just a formality to confirm it. No Cornette here though which is I guess because he got his teeth kicked in. Ah yes that’s where he is according to Doc.

Was there anything Sunny didn’t look good in? Bulldog and Owen have commandeered the massive Sunny poster. YOU SWINE! Billy and Owen start us off. Could the Guns have been any more bland? Mason comes down with a clipboard. I believe this was due to a document Cornette signed which was him accidentally signing away the control of his stable.

Owen controls early of course since Billy has nothing at all. Ross brings up Vince’ indictment which has to be a line fed to him because if not then he would die. Perfect begins the lie about Billy being awesome. I couldn’t stand him eventually as he was constantly being pushed and he never deserved it whatsoever.

The other two are in now and we get the and it’s a chop block to Bart and to put him in trouble. Vince reads off Clarence’s business card to kill time. This isn’t much at all here as we’re just kind of going through the motions.

All challenger dominance here. Enziguri on Bart gets two. The Gunns take over for a change of pace and still nothing is working that well at all. Sidewinder on Bulldog but Mason gets the referee. Slammy to Billy’s head doesn’t get us anywhere either. Crowd is rather dead here too.

Billy takes over and you would think that would imply some pops from the crowd wouldn’t you? Apparently we’re playing the quiet game I suppose. Billy makes a stupid tag and Bart walks into the powerslam to give the heels the titles which they would hold forever. Sunny goes off on them afterwards, splitting with them.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring here for the most part as the Gunns just sucked BADLY. This wasn’t anything special or even good as both teams knew there was no real point or heat at all here and it wasn’t any good. Boring match and the only thing it had going for it was that it wasn’t incredibly long.

The Gunns would finally split up soon after this and pretty much no one would care. After this, the tag title would pretty much do nothing for about a year as Owen and Bulldog dominated the division. You’d get a random two superstar tag team reign (Austin/Foley etc.) or the off the wall reign like the returning LOD or the Headbangers.

It wasn’t until November of the following year that the New Age Outlaws would form and breathe life into it as teams like the APA and the Hardys made the belts and the division worth anything again.

After almost two years of worthless reigns by teams no one wanted to see, the Dudleys finally arrived as the hottest tag team act on the planet and brought in another golden age of tag wrestling along with the other two teams that everyone associated them with. And that’s enough Attitude Era tag team history for now. More in later reviews.

Jerry Lawler vs. Mark Henry

Oh dang it I forgot Henry debuted in this time period. We see a recap of Henry making some run ins to help out Jake Roberts against Lawler. Henry is pure face at this point and acts like Kurt Angle when he debuted. It’s a sight indeed. Lawler continues to prove why he’s one of the best mic men ever. His insults are so basic but his delivery is great and it just works.

Lawler even insults Henry by saying he’s going to teach him all kinds of lessons. Lawler of course gets his head handed to him. Henry has no offense at this point but that makes sense as he’s a rookie in his first match. He uses very basic moved like slams and chops, but for someone brand new that’s logical. However, when they’ve been with the company for twelve years it’s not acceptable.

This is a pure comedy match with Lawler never being able to get anything going. He lands an illegal object to the head of Henry which does some damage. Henry comes back with more rookie offense of course and lands an over the shoulder back breaker for the submission. Think of the starting position for the Razor’s Edge but instead of lifting them up you pull them down so they’re being pressed against your shoulder.

It really looks painful actually, despite Henry not using it right. Anyway, it was a decent debut. Post match, the New Rockers and HHH run out to try to fight Henry for absolutely no reason at all. They of course get beaten up. Pyro goes off for no logical reason and Henry celebrates.

Rating: B-. It’s a comedy match for a gimmick wrestler’s debut. Were you expecting Steamboat/Savage here? For what it was, this was fine. It made Henry look good against a veteran that didn’t need a win and for a person like Henry at the time I really liked his offensive style. However, that was 1996. It’s now 2009 and Henry still uses the same moveset. That is unacceptable plain and simple.

In the back we see the new tag champions with their new manager that lawyer guy. Apparently he tricked Cornette into signing their contract to him. No one cares.

Goldust vs. Undertaker

We see a recap, which implies Mankind is working for Goldust. Why would that make any sense at all? Why would a mid carder have power over a main eventer? Come on WWF, think please? This is a Final Curtain match, which means no DQ and you can only win by pinfall. Ok I guess. Yet again though, Taker is just beating Goldust up. At least this time it’s not as one sided.

It’s still one sided, just not as badly. Marlena does nothing really. Taker picking her up by her elbows was cool though. More random moves from Taker including a vertical suplex. Goldust throws some dust into his eyes to take over and for the first time in five months, we see Goldust work over Taker. You get your basic stuff here, and then Goldust uses one of the most effective basic moves I’ve ever seen.

Taker is in position for a reverse chinlock, but instead Goldust just covers Taker’s mouth and nose with his hands. That’s such a simple move but it’s actually brilliant. Then we get your standard Taker comeback after Goldust rubs his own chest a bit.

Basic stuff but the crowd pops for it so it’s all well and good. Anyway, we get the chokeslam from the top and a tombstone to finally polish off this feud. Post match, the commentators talk about how they’re looking forward to Buried Alive next month, which really was a cool idea I think. It was absurd, but a good kind of absurd.

Rating: B-. Far better than anything they have done before and for one reason: it wasn’t a squash. Goldust got in some good offense here and controlled a decent portion of this match. That’s really all I ask for is something somewhat competitive. Good match and while not a classic, it got Taker a decent win in his main storyline, which means it served its purpose.

We go to the back to hear Shawn talk about how he really has no idea what he’s going to do here as he’s never faced someone like Mankind. That’s true, as there really hadn’t been anyone like Foley before in the company. Thank goodness he didn’t get his original name: Mankind the Mutilator, as that would have just not worked. Earlier today on Superstars Shawn was put into the Mandible Claw and it knocked him down for a long time. He says he’ll be making it up as he goes out there.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Mankind

This match has always been praised as a classic by both men. I’ve heard good and bad things about it, so let’s see how it holds up. Mankind was viewed as a legitimate threat to the title based on what he had done to Taker in the past. At this point though, he was still a relative rookie in the company, but that didn’t matter. That’s what WWE needs more of today: don’t start guys as rookies.

Launch them into main storylines. Anyway, Mankind comes out in a casket and does his whole rock back and forth with the urn which was something I always liked for some odd reason. The crowd is insane for Shawn. I’ve never gotten how the reaction that the crowds give didn’t equal the ratings. Shawn was madly over, but he never drew anything as far as ratings went. Maybe it was the rest of the show or WCW, but for some reason there wasn’t a connection there.

The announcers are really putting Foley over big here which is something that does a lot to help him in this match. He opens up hard by taking control, but eventually it goes outside and Shawn starts going nuts. He hits a cross body from the top to the floor and after pulling the mats up, jumps from the apron to the floor, shoving Foley’s head into the concrete in what is another basic but good spot.

Not everything has to be flashy to look good. That move and Goldust’s smothering thing earlier are proof of that. This match has a weird flow to it. While it’s not a traditional face vs. heel formula, it has a unique formula that is working for some reason. Shawn is throwing everything he’s got at Foley but nothing is working. Most of it is Shawn on the offense using his standard stuff, but it’s just not working on Mankind.

He’s having to get more aggressive in this match and it’s a style I like. This is very reminiscent of the Diesel match that he had at In Your House 7 and that just worked on all levels. This match is really the kind of stuff that the Attitude Era was built on which is likely why it was considered to be so good. You could say that it was ahead of its time I suppose.

Anyway, Foley gets his knee slammed into the stairs a few times but that really doesn’t get Shawn anywhere. They keep going back and forth which is just great. Every time one gets anything going for them the other just takes it away from them. They’ve been going about 15 minutes and haven’t let up yet. We finally get the famous spot in the match as Mankind is thrown into the ropes and gets his head caught between them.

As Shawn attacks, he gets stuck in the claw. They brawl on the floor for awhile and the Claw is locked on again but Shawn counters. Mankind accidentally punches a chair and Shawn works on the fingers to take away the Claw, which is really smart actually. Somehow Mankind gets the advantage back and starts getting near falls. This match really is getting great now as it’s long passed just being good.

Back and forth, all kinds of action, and if you were watching at this point you had the doubt in your mind as to whether or not Shawn could put him away, which is the golden key to any match: doubt. Foley can’t beat him so he pulls a Spunky and starts to beat on himself.

After that Shawn makes ANOTHER comeback and starts beating the living tar out of Mankind. He’s jumping all over the place but finally, and I do mean finally gets crotched on the top rope to stop him. Shawn then gets belly to back suplexed from the top through the Spanish Announce Table, which was a brand new concept at the time and therefore not funny or ironic yet. After that, Mankind throws a second chair into the ring but Shawn gets in first.

Mankind climbs the ropes but Shawn gets a running start and kicks the other chair into Foley’s face, which is called Sweet Chin Music. Not really but I’ll let it go. Shawn goes insanely slow so you can tell that this is your finish. And of course, here he comes: Vader runs in for the DQ and we get the garbage finish to the great match. Post match, Sid runs out to fight Sid after Paul Bearer knocks Shawn out with the urn.

He knocks Shawn out again for the second time in about 30 seconds with the Claw before signaling for the casket to be opened. Then, in one of the funniest scenes I can ever remember as a wrestling fan, the casket is opened and of course Taker is inside. The look on Bearer’s face is mindblowingly funny.

The key here is that earlier the casket was opened and there was no Taker. He goes after Mankind of course and just looks absolutely awesome doing it. Foley looks scared to death and limps to the back with Taker following him as Shawn is declared the winner by DQ to end the show.

Rating: A. This would be an easy A+ if it had a real finish. I don’t like the DQ here, but I really don’t have another choice I guess. There wasn’t anything that could have been done otherwise to keep Mankind’s heat going and not take the belt from Shawn or make him look weak. Either way, this was a great match with all kinds of back and forth stuff. Top level here all the way and I can see why they both rate this match so highly.

Overall Rating: A. GIN! The company got it right, FINALLY. Every match on this card had a purpose, everything made sense, and above all else: THE MATCHES WERE GOOD! Let’s see what we have here: a gimmick match, a comedy match, a title change, a debut, the blow off to a feud, and a great title match to close out the show and set up the main event for the next show. What more could you really ask for? This is a great PPV, regardless of what formula you’re following. Definite recommendation as this is two hours of what wrestling is all about.

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Since the match hasn’t been talked about at all, I’ll go with Punk via a coin flip.  I do however think Bryan will get the title eventually though.

I’ll go with Sheamus to retain as well.  The only other option is Del Rio.  This is the match I’m looking forward tot he most by far as I’ve liked the build pretty well.

The tag champions will retain because they’re setting up the champions vs. the Colons.

Layla to retain.

Kane to destroy Ryder on the pre-show.

That’s the whole announced card so far: 5 matches and a pre-show match.  They’ll add two matches or so more than likely.

Thoughts/Predictions?

Time for another edition of that show on Fridays that doesn’t mean a thing because everything happens on Raw now. The main event tonight is Orton vs. Sheamus which is the big PPV match they’re waiting for the right time to have. This is the go home show for Over the Limit which is the least interesting PPV I can think of in years. Maybe we’ll actually have Punk and Bryan talk. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Raw. Gee there’s a novel idea. This is edited together really well as it’s Ace talking about what he can do and Cena reading a line from the letter to say that Ace can’t do that.

In the arena here’s Ace to really open things up. He disagrees with the Board’s decision because it puts him in harm’s way. Ace says that he’s almost 40 but he’s still in shape. Wow I would have put him closer to fifty. The Board won’t reconsider their decision so he appeals to the fans for their support. He asks for our prayers but gets Punk instead.

Punk says that everyone, including him and the rest of the roster has been praying. Their prayers have been answered by this match on Sunday. It’s not about if Cena beats him but rather when. It would be more realistic to say that it’s not if Big Show/Lesnar interferes but when but you get the idea. Punk says after Ace is fired the party will start on Raw and it’ll go on through Smackdown next week.

The champ talks about Raw where Ace made Big Show beg for forgiveness with a smile on his face. Ace constantly insults the intelligence of the fans and humiliates Teddy, so how does it feel to be on the other end of the stick? Ace says it’s not over yet so tonight Punk faces Kane. Punk says that concerns him but he’s going to face Kane like a man. Next week he’ll still be WWE Champion but Ace will be unemployed. So let’s see. Punk talked to a guy he’s not facing on Sunday, is facing a guy that is on the pre-show on Sunday, and didn’t mention his opponent by name at all. Nice way to show what the real match is guys.

Punk leaves but Ace stops to yell at the fans. He says that since he’s the GM, he’s been tough but fair. Ace says that he works hard for the fans and they still boo them. He’s not going to blame Punk and Cena, because it’s the fans’ fault. If this is his last night, he could care less about all of them, and with that he leaves.

Cena Make-A-Wish video which is good to mention because it makes you think of the good stuff WWE guys do. Make sure to remember that if you’re a Connecticut registered voter.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil

Young and Truth start things off. They fight into the corner and Truth punches him a bit. Off to Kofi with the springboard cross body for two. Kofi takes down both opponents but Titus’ distraction lets Young hit his belly to back suplex onto the apron to take over. Off to Titus who slams Kofi and hits a splash in the corner. Another attempt hits boots and it’s off to Young and Truth again. Truth speeds things up and hits the spinning forearm. DDT gets two as Titus saves. Kofi knocks O’Neil to the floor and hits a dive as the Little Jimmy pins Young at 2:59.

Just a quick aside here: we have Young and O’Neil brought up as a new team who look impressive, so in I think their fourth match they job clean to the champions in less than three minutes. That’s a great way to make these guys look good. This is where JOBBERS should be used. Throw Slater and someone else out there for this match and save Young/O’Neil for later. Unfortunately there are only five teams (Colons, champions, O’Neil/Young, Usos (are they still alive?) and Swagger/Ziggler) They’re saving the Colons for a big match I guess, so this is all they can use and that’s why there’s no division.

Don’t Be A Bully! How long before it’s time to STAND UP for WWE?

Ryder is filming stuff for his show in the back but Sandow is standing next to him. And that’s that apparently.

Video on Ryback. He’s 1/3 of the “they’re monsters but we have no idea what to do with him yet so we’ll keep having him squash people until the fans get bored of him” trio with Tensai and Clay.

Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Sandow won’t fight for the same reasons he gave two weeks ago. He leaves but Tatsu calls him a chicken, complete with clucking. Sandow runs in and takes off the robe to reveal hot pink tights that Rick Martel would look twice at and destroys Tatsu. He hits a version of the Regal Cutter with both arms pulled instead of just one and then leaves. There was no bell and no pin so this wasn’t a match.

We recap the events that set up the fourway other than the actual announcement of the match.

Orton and Sheamus are in the back with Striker. Sheamus says he’s looking forward to fighting three guys and rubs in that he’s not champion anymore. Orton says he’s no longer so overconfident that he overlooks his opponents. He can beat anyone on Sunday but wants to beat Sheamus. Sheamus says he can kick Orton right now but Orton says compared to him, Sheamus is too nice a guy.

Zack Ryder vs. Daniel Bryan

Ryder gets in some offense to start but a running knee puts him down. The running dropkick in the corner gets two. Bryan works on the arm a bit but gets caught by the knees in the corner. Broski Boot misses and Bryan kicks him in the head. YES Lock gets the submission at 2:28. Squash.

Kane vs. CM Punk

Bryan is sitting in on commentary, which is going to multiply the build for this match by about 10,000%. Kane knocks him down to start so Punk fires some kicks to the legs. A clothesline puts Kane on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk kicking the knee some more and hitting a DDT for two. Punk hooks a Figure Four AND IT’S ON THE PROPER LEG!!! Kane breaks it quickly but I’m in too much shock to care.

Punk springboards into the uppercut and takes over with some very slow kicks. A baseball slide sends Punk’s ribs into the post and Kane focuses on them for a bit. Off to a bearhug and then a backbreaker for two. There’s a body vice as Bryan talks about the history with Punk and how their paths reached this point. See how easy it is? Back up and Punk escapes the chokeslam and hits a swinging neckbreaker for two.

Punk hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered as you would expect it to be. Since that didn’t work he goes to the middle rope for the bulldog which gets two. He tries the GTS but the ribs give out. Big boot gets two for Kane. Bryan sounds like a kid at Christmas with the ribs being hurt.

Kane loads up a superplex but Punk shoves him off and hits the Macho Elbow for two. He tries the Vice but Kane blocks it. Top rope clothesline puts Punk down and it’s chokeslam time. Punk hits the High Kick to counter and Kane goes to the floor. Suicide dive takes Kane out but Bryan pops up with a chair. He hits Kane which gives Kane the DQ win at 9:50 shown of 13:20.

Rating: C-. Not a great match but the main thing that hurt it was the slow pace of it. They were going by the numbers here but the ending helped it a bit. If a rib injury for Bryan to focus on is the best angle we can get to set up the match then we’ll have to go with it. I mean, WWE isn’t going to bother letting them cut promos on each other or anything so I’ll take what I can get.

Bryan runs and sees Punk with the chair near him, so he destroys Punk with it. Bryan hit Kane in the back if that clears anything up. A chokeslam in the ring leaves Punk laying.

Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes

This is the result of an epic Twitter War this week over which title means more. If you don’t know who’s losing here, I can’t help you. Booker says the IC Title is a little more prestigious. Cody hits some knees to the ribs to take over but the moonsault press misses. Here’s the Cobra but Cody dropkicks him down for two. And never mind as the Cobra hits for the pin at 1:59. Hey Vince, congratulations on crushing a guy that could be a big star for you because his brother got fired. Seriously, why else could this be happening?

Since having a match go longer than two minutes is impossible, here’s Ace’s promo from earlier tonight to fill in time.

Now we spend TEN FULL MINUTES reairing the ENTIRE Big Show firing segment from Monday.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

There’s a TON of time left for this because nothing else has happened on this show. Feeling out process to start with Orton getting caught in a headlock. Randy speeds things up and hits a dropkick to take over. They go into the corner and it turns into a shoving match followed by a fight. A clothesline puts the champion down and Orton does his stomping, focusing on the ankle for a bit.

A knee drop misses and Sheamus comes back with right hands in the corner. Orton punches back but Sheamus’ are better and he takes over. Randy comes back with a clothesline to send Sheamus to the floor but he sends Orton into the steps. Brogue Kick misses and Orton rams Sheamus’ shoulder into the post. No one has had a distinct advantage at all so far. That’s Sheamus’ bad shoulder so there’s some psychology thrown in there.

Orton stomps on the arm to drive it into the steps as we take a break. Back with Orton bending the arm around the ropes. Some elbows to the arm keep Sheamus down as does a DDT on the arm. Off to a chinlock with an arm trap. Sheamus starts a comeback but gets sent into the corner shoulder first. The champ manages to send him to the floor and hits a high knee followed by the ten forearms in the ropes.

Sheamus knocks Orton off the apron and into the barricade as we take another break. Back with Sheamus dropping knees on Orton which eventually get two. Regal Roll puts Orton down and Sheamus loads up the High Cross. Orton counters that too, this time into the backbreaker. Sheamus charges at him but Orton hooks a belly to belly of all things. He tries the elevated DDT but Sheamus guillotines him on the top to escape.

Slingshot shoulder puts Orton down and there are the running ax handles. Powerslam gets two. Another Irish Curse attempt is broken up but another attempt connects for two. Sheamus goes up but Orton stops him with punches followed by a top rope superplex. That only gets two and they slug it out. Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus gets caught in the rope and the elevated DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but Sheamus ducks. Brogue Kick misses and Orton tries the RKO again, but Sheamus drops down into a rollup for the pin at 16:35 shown of 23:35.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this at the end and the finishing sequence was very nicely done. They were setting up this as the match with both guys hitting everything they could other than their big move and then they threw a nicely timed curve ball with Sheamus winning with a rollup. The ending is also good as neither guy looks weak here at all and it keeps the main event on Sunday wide open.

Post match they shake hands and Orton RKOs him. That’s a pretty heelish move.

Overall Rating: D+. Until the good main event, this was on pace to be one of the worst Smackdowns that I can remember in years. The last quarter of it being good prevented that, but there are still major holes in this show. First of all, where were Jericho and Del Rio? They’re in this show’s main event and they’re not even on the broadcast for a promo? Second, Punk and Bryan is the most thrown out there main event in a LONG time. Even Bryan vs. Sheamus had a better build than this. Disappointing show, but a good main event helps it a lot.

Results
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Titus O’Neil/Darren Young – Little Jimmy to Young
Daniel Bryan b. Zack Ryder – YES Lock
Kane b. CM Punk via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
Santino Marella b. Cody Rhodes – Cobra
Sheamus b. Randy Orton – Rollup

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We’re getting closer to November To Remember and we’ve got a few matches set now. For one thing we have the world title match set as Awesome will defend against Tanaka. As for tonight’s show, it’s possible that we’ll see the TNN debut of Sabu. Gee I’m glad they didn’t wait awhile to bring in one of their legends or anything. Hopefully it’s a competitive match and they don’t bring in some old name that used to mean something to have him squash like the One Man Gang or something. Let’s get to it.

Joel is in the ring to open things up. Apparently he’s doing the ring announcing for the opener.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. New Jack

New Jack charges in with the weapons and Awesome stands there so he can get beaten on. Awesome fights back but gets bitten for his efforts. There’s a right hand to send the champion into the corner as that infernal song is still playing. Awesome misses a charge and we head to the floor. Jack puts Awesome against the railing and dives at him with a chair but it gets knocked back into Jack’s face.

Mike gets the chair now and takes over. Back into the ring and a top rope clothesline puts Jack down. Vader Bomb “misses” (Jack rolled the wrong way so it hit him anyway) and it’s staple gun time. A guitar shot to the head won’t put Awesome down but Jack jumps into a chair shot. Awesome throws him to the floor and through a table. Back in and the Awesome Splash gets the easy pin.

Rating: D+. If you take away the idea of wrestling from this match, it was pretty entertaining. Since New Jack is about as far from being a professional wrestler as I am, that’s not much of a stretch. This was just a way to pop the crowd before we get to the actual wrestling on the show.

Theme song.

Nova vs. Chris Candido

Gertner makes alcohol jokes about Tammy. They start fast with no one being able to get anything significant in. Candido finally hits him in the face to take over but walks into a backdrop. Flying forearm gets two. Nova is a guy that’s hard to keep up with because he’s not only fast but he does a lot of stuff that no one else did so it’s hard to call the moves. Before anything happens, Doring, Roadkill and Lita run in to beat on Nova for a DQ. This was really short.

Candido comes in to help Nova and we get a Lita vs. Sunny catfight, which I’m sure has been a fantasy for many over the years. After the ring is cleared and only Candido and Sytch are left, here come Storm and Dawn Marie for a distraction so Doring, Lita and Roadkill can come in from behind. Dawn paddles Tammy while Lita holds her. Dawn smacks Lita because she can.

With the ring cleared (again), Dawn calls out Francine who comes out with Dreamer. Storm suggests Dreamer can’t sleep with Francine and it’s on, but Justin runs in to double team Dreamer. Here’s Raven who comes in and then turns his back on the Impact Players. It’s about to be another double team but Dreamer makes the save. Raven DDTs Dreamer because he can.

Post break Dreamer is up and calls out Raven. They square off…..and we go to a break.

Rhyno vs. David Kash

Rhyno jumps him and the beatdown begins quickly. Kash hits a dropkick but gets Gored for two. Piledriver works a bit better and gets the pin for Rhyno. This wasn’t even a minute.

Corino gets on the mic post match and says he wants Sabu out here right now to face Rhyno.

Rhyno vs. Sabu

Sabu beats up Rhyno’s posse before the match as the fans are just NUTS for Sabu. Rhyno takes over and we take a quick break. Back with Sabu being sent to the floor so the cronies can beat him up. Back in the ring and Sabu gets powerbombed off a rana attempt for two. Rhyno throws him to the floor and tries a dive but takes out the other guys instead. The other guys/cronies/the posse are Steve Corino and Jack Victory in case that wasn’t clear.

Sabu puts him in the crowd and hits a HUGE dive to take Rhyno out. Back at ringside and Sabu pelts the chair to put Rhyno down. Fonzie is out here now. There’s a table set up between the ring and the barricade like a platform. Sabu ranas Rhyno off the top and back inside for two as Corino makes the save. Fonzie crotches Corino and Steve takes a rana as well. Sabu goes to put Corino through the table but Rhyno Gores him down.

Instead of covering he grabs a chair and charges but Sabu kicks it into his face for two. The triple jump moonsault is broken up but Sabu takes out Victory anyway. There’s a camel clutch and Rhyno is in trouble. Corino makes the save AGAIN but gets taken out by Fonzie. FONZIE HITS A SLINGSHOT SPLASH!!! That was kind of awesome. Rhyno gets put on the table and Sabu hits a triple jump Arabian Facebuster through Rhyno and through the table to put both guys down.

The fans are, as usual, going insane for Sabu. Joey talks about how you’ll NEVER see Sabu on Raw or Nitro, both of which he’d appear on (Nitro he already had been on but you get the idea). There’s a table in the ring now but Sabu has to take out Victory first. That doesn’t change much as Sabu drives Rhyno through the table for two to shock Joey. Facejam onto the chair gets two. Sabu sets for something off the top on Rhyno but Corino covers him for protection. That’s really stupid to do against Sabu as he jumps on both of them. Arabian Facebuster and the Triple Jump Moonsault finally get the pin.

Rating: C. It was a mess but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. Sabu is very much a microcosm of ECW: when he’s on he’s good, but when he’s off, OH MAN is he off. The interference got old fast here too. Also, why have Sabu win? Give Rhyno a cheap victory to further his monster push. Sabu is going to be incredibly popular no matter what, so why not?

A three minute music video of what happened in the show ends it. How pointless is that? Ok Sunny bent over in a thong with her face in Lita’s crotch while Dawn Marie spanks her isn’t but the rest is.

Overall Rating: A+. It has Sunny bent over in a thong with her face in Lita’s crotch while Dawn Marie spanks her. What kind of a grade do you think I’m going to give this?

The show is still a mess but the long main event with a big name helped. November to Remember is still mostly unannounced but they’ve got a few weeks left. The show was just ok this week.

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It’s the first show after Sacrifice and Roode is still champion, which isn’t something that should surprise you. Other than that, not a lot changed at the PPV. The only real change is that we have new tag team champions in the form of Daniels and Kazarian. We should begin building up for Slammiversary too. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Roode to open the show. Gee I wonder what he’s going to be saying. It’s the same promo you’ve always heard from him with him talking about how he’s the best and no one can stop him. Next week he’s going to have The It Factor’s Celebration Of Domination, which is a party of some kind. First of all though, he needs Hogan out here. Cue the guy who is somehow still the NEW GM, about six weeks after getting the job.

Roode has demands for Hogan for next week. He wants a redecorated dressing room and five bottles of chilled champagne plus only green M and M’s. Also he wants gold confetti flown in from Canada. Hogan takes the list and talks about some great champions. He talks about how Roode brought stability to the show, but he hasn’t broken the record yet. Next week is Open Fight Night, and the world title will be on the line.

Hogan talks about taking a poll in the back of people that might want a shot next week. The locker room empties out and apparently they all want a shot next week. Hogan says we need to get this down to four men, so tonight there will be four singles matches. The winners will advance to some kind of competition next week and the winner will get a title match later next week. The matches are Ray vs. RVD, Hardy vs. Anderson (nice job on screwing the PPV fans again guys), Angle vs. Joe, and a battle royal.

We get a clip of Abyss saying Joseph is getting too close to the fire.

Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray

Rob is very banged up from the ladder match and Ray goes after the bad arm. Van Dam kicks his way out of it as usual and Rolling Thunder gets two. Ray goes after the knee but Rob kicks away again. He goes up top and tries the top rope kick, but hurts his knee in the process. Bubba Cutter (called a 3D by Tenay) gets the pin at 3:22.

Rating: C-. This was a short match and it felt even shorter. That being said it wasn’t really that bad as the leg injury from the PPV played in here, which is a good thing. Ray moving on is a good thing as I find him more interesting than Rob, who is more or less just there because of his past work. Ray using the Cutter is a good thing.

Post break Bully Ray rants about……the Kardashians? Apparently they’re about anti-bullying now and he wants to fight them. Joseph Park comes in and apologizes for interfering on Sunday. He thinks Ray is the fire that Abyss was talking about. Ray says stay away.

We see a segment from MMA Uncensored of King Mo, an MMA fighter, announcing that he’s signing with TNA and fighting for Bellator at the same time. There’s some MMA analyst and Dixie Carter there too. Not much is said.

Gail rants to Madison about having to be in a triple threat match tonight. Madison says there’s no guy she likes, even though she admitted to there being one recently. Brooke and Velvet come up after Madison leaves to fix her hair. They make fun of Gail for cheating and say one of them will win the title.

Battle Royal

This is a qualifying match as well. Aries gets an entrance pre-break. After a break AJ, ODB and Eric Young get entrances as well. Also in there are guys like Magnus, D-Von, Crimson, Garrett Bischoff and others. ODB and Eric hit a double clothesline on Crimson and all three go out. The Rob’s and Gunner are in there too. I think that’s everyone. There are eight more I think. Magnus goes to the apron and Aries dropkicks him out. Madison is watching from the apron and is all smiley but we’re not sure at whom.

After a few minutes of nothing going on, Robbie E puts out Robbie T. T is annoyed but D-Von puts out E anyway. So it’s Gunner, Garrett, D-Von, AJ and Aries as we take a break. Back with all five still in. AJ and Aries work together on Gunner and D-Von kills Garrett with a shoulder. Garrett low bridges D-Von to eliminate him, probably getting a title match later.

AJ Peles the tar out of Garrett and eliminates him. Gunner gets dropkicked down (not eliminated) and it’s AJ vs. Aries in a showdown. Aries hits a spinning forearm and it’s time for counters. A Superman forearm staggers Aries and AJ goes to the apron, but Aries charges. That lets Gunner knock Aries to the floor but AJ dumps Gunner to advance at 10:56.

Rating: C+. Fun stuff here and AJ is the perfect placeholder or even a potential winner for next week’s fourway. The Garrett push is likely to continue with a TV Title shot next week. The stuff at the end was good too as they treated AJ vs. Aries as a big deal, which to be fair it kind of is. Aries still needs to drop the title soon though.

We recap the AJ/Dixie photos stuff from the last few weeks.

Back with AJ in the ring. He says he’ll win the title next week but now it’s time to discuss the pictures. Nothing happened and they’re just business partners. They’re both married but it’s not like that. Things aren’t as they seem, but here are Daniels and Kaz. They imply that AJ has slept his way to the top and have video to prove it. They pull out an iPad and show AJ and Dixie going into a hotel room together.

We get a video from Genesis 2006 and Joe’s first loss, which was to Angle.

Joe comes up to Angle and they talk about the past. Angle slaps Joe and it’s on in the back with Angle getting a beating. Other wrestlers break it up.

Anderson looks at a video and thinks Jeff kicked out.

Moment #7 in TNA history is the Unbreakable triple threat.

Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy

Slow feeling out process to start until Jeff sends him to the floor. Jeff tries a dive of some kind but Anderson grabs the feet and slams him into the mat. Jeff comes back with a slingshot clothesline for two. Anderson hits his neckbreaker for the same. Anderson tries a kick to the head but Jeff chop blocks him to slow things down. A rollup by Jeff is countered into one by Anderson for two. Whisper in the Wind gets two. Anderson hits the Regal Roll but Jeff rolls back on him for the pin at 6:04.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here but these two just aren’t interesting at all together. Anderson is possibly moving towards a heel turn but it’s still nothing that’s going to make me care about him. This was better than their PPV match, but the chemistry was still severely lacking.

Video on Joe winning the world title from Angle at Lockdown 08.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Brooke Tessmacher vs. Velvet Sky

Gail keeps trying to escape but gets double teamed and sent to the floor. The good girls trade small packages and that’s about it. Gail comes back in for a Boston Crab on Brooke but Velvet hooks a dragon sleeper at the same time on Gail. Gail tries an Octopus hold on Brooke but Velvet rolls her up for two. Kim doesn’t let go and rolls Brooke up for two. A top rope missile dropkick by the champ puts all three girls down. In Yo Face to Brooke but Gail throws Velvet to the floor and pins Brooke with a rollup at 4:42.

Rating: C. They tried some new stuff here and for the most part it worked, but at the end of the day it’s still the same girls that are only ok in the ring and Gail is still boring as champion. This was entertaining enough though and that’s the whole point. And they’re still better than the Divas.

Slammiversary video.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Joe knocks him to the floor but Angle double legs him down easily. Joe speeds things up and hits his usual strikes and drops his knee for two. The Facewash keeps Angle down in the corner as Roode comes out to do commentary. We take a break and come back with Angle in control. He knocks Joe down for two and hooks a chinlock.

Joe comes back with the powerslam but walks into the Germans to give Kurt control again. The Slam is countered into the Clutch which is countered into the ankle lock which is countered by Joe sending Angle into the corner. Angle hits the Slam for two, which really shouldn’t surprise anyone at this point. There’s the ankle lock again but Joe sends him into the corner. They go to the corner and Angle headbutts him away. A sunset flip into a rollup off the top gets the pin for Angle at 12:26.

Rating: B-. Good match but not quite as good as most of their matches. By not quite, I mean not even close. Joe is a guy you can throw into a place like this and it’s good to see him getting wins and being in big spots again, but he’s still nothing compared to what he used to be. Still though, this was built up as a big match and it mostly delivered.

The four challengers surround Roode to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show here tonight but they’re using the single angle idea again here, which isn’t something I’m usually a fan of. In other words, this was almost all about next week and if that’s not your thing, too bad because this wasn’t a show for you. Still though the wrestling here worked and that’s all that matters for the most part. We have a big match set for next week’s Open Fight Night, which hopefully is better than the first. Good show.

Results
Bully Ray b. Rob Van Dam – Bully Cutter
AJ Styles won a battle royal last eliminating Gunner
Jeff Hardy b. Mr. Anderson – Crucifix
Gail Kim b. Brooke Tessmacher and Velvet Sky – Rollup to Tessmacher
Kurt Angle b. Samoa Joe – Rollup

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