Championship Wrestling From Florida
Date: April 10, 1982
Location: Sportatorium, Tampa, Florida
Commentator: Gordon Solie

This is one of the major territories I’ve never touched on which is a shame. Florida was easily one of the most important places as everyone went there at some point. It was owned by Eddie Graham who people claim to be one of the most brilliant bookers ever, as well as one of the most ripped off booker ever. Anyway I don’t know much of anything about the angles going on here so let’s get to it.

Florida TV Title: Dory Funk Jr. vs. Sweet Brown Sugar

Joined in progress as was Florida’s custom. I believe Sugar is defending here but he’s in an armbar as we join things. We have three or four minutes remaining in the fifteen minute time limit. Dory has something called the International Title. Under three minutes. Sugar fights up and dropkicks him to the floor. Tommy Young is referee. Was there ANY other NWA referee in the 80s? Funk comes back with those famous forearms of his but gets cross bodied for two. David Von Erich is here and jumps Sugar. Two minutes left. Dory piledrives him for two. A minute to go. Dory hooks the toe hold but the time runs out.

Rating: N/A. I don’t think it’s fair to grade four and a half minutes of a fifteen minute match. David would win the title in two weeks and then lose it to Dory before the year was over. The title would also be retired by the end of the year. Anyway not much here as the time limit draw was pretty clear the whole time.

Gordon is with some chick named Barbara who is a corespondent I guess. We’ll get some video on Dusty Rhodes later.

Apparently later is now as we see Dusty singing with Willie Nelson in concert. Over in Japan, Dusty says even though Dusty hasn’t been in Florida for six months, no one has risen up to fill his shoes. He’s been chasing Ric Flair around the country but he’s coming home.

We hear from a sheriff about a festival for charity that happened recently. Mike Graham beat up a deputy. Another deputy had a sleeper put on him. They raised over $6000. That’s cool if nothing else. There was a parade too with Eddie Graham as the marshal. Eddie gets the key to the city for his efforts.

We keep up the civic stuff with Eddie getting an honorary membership in the Rotary Club and some other award from them. He gets a third award from them. The charity stuff is cool and all but do we need to spend like ten minutes on this and the Dusty stuff?

Now the sheriff gets awards. GET ON WITH IT. The guy that put the sleeper on the deputy gets an award. Oh that’s Magnum TA. I didn’t recognize him for a bit there. Now the co-chairman is here to present an award to Mike Graham. This just keeps going. Isn’t this supposed to be a wrestling show?

Andre Fillipe vs. Kendo Nagasaki

Nagasaki is called the Black Ninja and is managed by JJ Dillon. The Ninja looks like he’s in gray trousers. The announcer calls the jobber Peltier but Solie says Fillipe. I’ll go with the Dean. Nagasaki chops a lot and wins with a big chop.

Dillon says that’s another body on the pile. He’s challenged Mike Graham for a match today but there’s no response from Mike. Graham pops up in the ring in a suit but he’s ready to go in street clothes. JJ gets in with a kendo stick but gets knocked down and beaten with the stick. Graham slaps on a figure four and JJ is in trouble. Nagasaki makes the save but gets beaten down as well and put in a figure four. JJ saves but is sent to the floor, allowing Nagasaki to choke Graham down. Graham bleeds from the mouth until some wrestlers make the save.

Gordon is at the announce desk and gets a call on the Batphone telling him that Graham is being taken to the hospital.

Wahoo McDaniel vs. Rick Harris

This is from Charlotte. Wahoo kills him with the big chop after about a minute shown.

Video on Flair and his tastes for the finer things in life. I think this is on one of Flair’s DVDs actually. Vignettes like these would do wonders for 99% of the roster today.

Dick Murdoch vs. Iron Sheik

Murdoch beats on Sheik with the flag before the match so Murdoch has a very early advantage. This isn’t in the Florida studios and JJ is on commentary. He seems to be a big Sheik supporter. Murdoch pounds him down and JJ (while still on commentary) jumps in and we cut it away.

Brian Blair vs. Bob Russell

Airplane spin, cobra clutch, done. Blair wins if that wasn’t clearn.

Jimmy Garvin is worried about Mike Graham. This goes on for awhile and he doesn’t have much to say.

Here’s a clip (I guess) of a Butch Reed match. It’s done even faster than the Blair match, maybe lasting 20 seconds before the pin off a cross body.

El Gran Apollo/Terry Allen vs. Don Diamond/Cyclone Negro

Don Diamond was the name of Corporal Reyes on the Zorro series produced by Disney in the 50s. That Diamond would be about 60 at this point so I’m going to assume it’s not him. Allen dropkicks him down anyway and they trade wristlocks. Here’s Apollo and never mind as it’s back to Allen. Negro comes in for literally four seconds before tagging back out. Magnum is beaten down for awhile until the hot tag brings in Apollo. He cleans house and we’re almost out of time. Actually we’re out of time and it’s a draw. Wait the bell rang but they fight through the credits and Magnum gets the pin off a cross body. Ok then.

Rating: D. The ending, assuming it actually was one, wasn’t any good. This was one of those long squashes that they had to have to fill in the rest of the show. You could have had a match in there but we needed to have the awards presentations earlier right? Anyway bad match, but Allen would become a huge star soon enough.

Overall Rating: D. I wasn’t impressed here but to be fair it’s 1982 which isn’t exactly the best time in the world for pro wrestling. Anyway, I have a few other shows from this company that are a few years after this so they should be nice to see as a comparison to this. This company gets great reactions so maybe they were just having a bad day.

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The main event was Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff. Was that the right main event?In short, no it wasn’t.  The main event should have been Hogan vs. Piper for the title, preferably with Piper defending the belt that he won at War to Settle the Score  after Piper cheated like there was no tomorrow and stealing the title while Hogan threw a total fit afterwards, demanding a rematch here.  Hogan winning the title back here would have been great and they could have found a way to get T. in there somewhere else.

Thoughts on this?

For the next 27 days I’ll be posting a review a day on every single Wrestlemania. I’ve been going back and rewatching every show, many of which I haven’t seen in years. Thrown in are ratings for each match on a traditional school grading school and my recommendation for the whole show.

If you don’t like my take on a match or a show, call me out on it. The point of this is to get debate going, so say whatever you think of me. In case you’ve never seen or don’t own any of these shows, I’m including 2-3 matches per show so there’s definitely going to be something that can be debated.

Starting today, Monday, I’ll be posting one a day until the day before WM 28 and after WM 28 I’ll post my review of that to complete the set. They’ll be going on chronological order as well, so off we go to 1985.

Please keep in mind these are the very first reviews I ever did so the quality may not be that good.

Also for something new this year, I’ll be adding an individual question about each show to try to drive some extra discussion.

Wrestlemania 1
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
National Anthem: Gene Okerlund

And so it begins. Wrestlemania is here. In what was perhaps the greatest cross promotional strategy of all time, the WWF teamed up with MTV to promote the biggest wrestling show of all time in what was called the Rock N Wrestling Connection. This idea was nothing short of genius and it truly got the war going with the NWA. Spearheaded by the feud between Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper, this show was all about fanfare. While little happened as far as historical significance, this show goes down in history as being great simply because of what it meant in history. Never before had mainstream celebrities been mixed with wrestling on such a vast scale. Obviously the results were great and Wrestlemania was born.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

Anyway, let’s get going with the show. To begin with, in the first match in the history of Wrestlemania, we see Tito Santana vs. The Executioner, portrayed by Buddy “Blow Away” Rose. Before the match we get a pre-recorded interview (which I believe all of them are tonight) from the Executioner saying that he’s going after Santana’s leg which was already injured. The match is pretty much what you would expect for an 80s WWF match. Very standard stuff that’s by no means bad, but not really great either. Tito is at his best here against a random heel, and he wins in standard fashion with a forearm and the figure four.

Rating: C. Considering it’s the first ever match at the biggest show that would ever exist, I didn’t know what to expect. It’s certainly not bad, but doesn’t really set a good first foot forward for Wrestlemania if that makes sense. This is more famous for simply being the first match in the history of the biggest wrestling series ever, but it wasn’t anything special at all.

King Kong Bundy vs. Special Delivery Jones

The next match is I believe still the shortest in Wrestlemania history as King Kong Bundy faces Special Delivery Jones. More prerecorded comments with Bundy saying he’s mad about something or other. In less than 25 seconds, Bundy hits a pair of splashes to pin Jones. This match was the epitome of a squash match. No rating of course.

“Maniac” Matt Borne says this is his chance to beat one of the best wrestlers in the world. Steamboat is too nice of a guy which will be his downfall.

Steamboat says this is a big test for him. Wow he must have a bad memory if this is his biggest challenge.

Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat

Now we get onto a solid match with the always dependable Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne, who is far more famous as heel Doink. Jesse is ROCKING that pink tuxedo. Not a lot of people can get away with that big Jesse is making it work for me. What was up with the five bells after everyone’s name? Steamboat is in the basic white tights which is odd to see indeed.

Feeling out process to start. Why can’t it ever be a feeling up process? Steamboat chops away and we get a chinlock seconds in. That’s not something you see everyday. I miss hearing Jesse call Gorilla Gino. A long atomic drop has Borne in trouble but he gets one of his own to avoid us hitting squash territory.

Ok perhaps you should forget the lack of a squash here as it’s almost all Steamboat here. At least the right guy is doing the squashing. Borne gets a suplex for two as even Gorilla says this isn’t going to work. He throws left handed punches and Gorilla concludes that he is in fact left handed.

We’re getting a lot of suplexes in this. Swinging neckbreaker by the Dragon gets no cover. A knee drop gets two. Steamboat speeds things up all of a sudden and there’s the flying cross body and I think you know what that means as this is 1985. Yep it’s over.

Rating: C-. Glorified squash match here with nothing special happening at all for the most part. Steamboat is always fun to see and this was no exception here. He would get a bit higher on the card in coming years before getting his lone world title in 1989. Borne would bounce around various companies before dancing with bear cubs in WCW and becoming a clown in WWF. Nice way to see different career paths.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Now we go on to what was little more than a reason to have the managers brawl at ringside, we have David Sammartino against Brutus Beefcake. Davide is accompanied by his father and Johnny Valiant for Beefcake. Big stall to start which is filled in by Gorilla talking about how great the crowd is, and for the time it really was. Finally we get going and Jesse cracks me up by saying that a loss for either man here could set their careers back 2 years.

That’s nothing but priceless. Anyway, we have a nice little wrestling sequence to start with Beefcake stalling again after sliding to the floor. We’re almost 5 minutes in and nothing at all of interest has happened yet. They’re trying to do a technical match and it’s just failure. I’m quite bored as I watch this match and it’s not getting any better.

I feel like I’m watching a house show match, but not the good kind. I feel like I’m watching a house show match that makes jobbers look good. Even the commentators sound bored here, yet for some reason the crowd is into this. FINALLY we get the managers involved and it’s a huge brawl for the double DQ.

Rating: D-. I was so bored I almost fell asleep. Absolutely nothing at all of note and it was just done to get Bruno on the show. David had a lot to live up to and for the most part he never came close which is the case for the vast majority of the kids of major stars. If nothing else look at David Flair. This was a very bad match though as Beefcake was the top guy in the ring which sums up things rather well.

JYD says he’ll win.

Valentine says he’ll win.

IC Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

No intro for Valentine as he’s just in the ring. That was far more common back then. It’s hard to imagine that the title is less than six years old at this point. Another One Bites The Dust by Queen brings Dog to the ring. I prefer Grab Them Cakes but that’s just me.

Valentine was awesome at this point and Gorilla says he might be the best IC Champion of all time at this point and I can’t really put up that much of an argument against that. He would lose the title to Santana soon after this who would lose it to Savage before Mania II. Dog is more or less the challenger of the month at this point and was very popular as well. Why he was popular is beyond me as he tends to be annoying but what do I know?

Naturally the Dog dominates to start with punches and headbutts. Valentine misses a punch and Dog gets on all fours with the heabutts. That’s about the biggest offensive move he’s going to have so I wouldn’t expect much more than that from him. We hear about Jimmy Hart’s stable which has Jim Neidhart but no Bret. It’s so weird to hear about Neidhart being a singles guy.

Valentine goes for the leg. He used the Figure Four as his finisher at this point which apparently he has patented. Did he file for the paperwork for it? Does he get royalties whenever Flair uses it? Dang no wonder he’s broke. Jesse says Valentine has no bones about this. I love bad puns.

Figure Four is kicked off which is the traditional counter of course. They slug it out and surprisingly enough Dog loses. Ok never mind he doesn’t but he was for a few seconds there. Jesse says a Dog headbutt would drop an oak tree. No see you make the tree watch one of his matches and it’ll fall asleep. That is how you drop an oak tree if JYD has to be involved.

Dog goes after Jimmy but Valentine accidentally pops his own manager. Here comes the Dog with his variety pack of punches and headbutts. Valentine cheats to get the pin with his feet on the ropes and apparently gets away with it. Tito runs out to tell the referee what happened so the match is restarted. Why can’t more people do that if they can get away with it? Valentine takes a walk anyway just because he can I guess. No title change thank goodness.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here with Valentine dominating for the most part. It went by rather fast though which helped a good bit. I can’t stand the Dog but Valentine is pretty good. This of course set up more of Valentine vs. Santana which helps a lot as at least we got a good feud and eventual title change out of it in a solid cage match between them.

On a side note, the old IC Title looks far better than the one they would replace it with. It’s kind of like the NWA US Title which I’ve always been a fan of. Decent match but really just a placeholder for the most part. Granted though they had no idea what they were doing here so it’s ok I guess.

Next up we have a match that I’ve always kind of liked. For the WWF Tag Team Titles, Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik against the US Express of Mika Rotunda and Barry Windham, who at the show came out to a song called Real American. Upon further review, this match is still pretty good and likely the best match of the night so far.

There’s not much to it but there doesn’t need to be. It’s America vs. foreigners, which is a formula that absolutely never fails. Rotunda plays a great face in peril here as he tries to out wrestle the monsters on the other team. There’s not a lot to this match but what they have is just fine. Big hot tag to Windham who cleans house, which leads to a big brawl. Blassie hands Sheik his cane which is smashed over Windham for a pinfall and a title change.

Rating: B-. Not much here, but what they had was at least passable. It was the standard U.S. versus the evil heels which is a formula that’s hard to mess up if anyone in the match knows what they’re doing, and these people knew. The titles would change back just a few weeks later so this was to do nothing more than get a title change on the card to make it seem historic. Keep in mind that this was still in the era when title reigns were usually longer so this meant a lot more.

Body Slam Match: Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

It is now time for the first of two famous matches from this card as Andre the Giant faces off with Big John Studd in a $15,000 vs. retirement match. Studd had put out a challenge saying that no one could body slam him, and no one could. Then a man named Andre took him up on the challenge, and this right here is the result of that challenge. Andre controls early on but eventually Studd evens things out.

The crowd is off the hook for this match behind Andre to say the least. This is really just a lot of bearhugs and big punches/forearms for about ten minutes but the crowd eats it up. Andre just goes off on the knee and then slams Studd like it’s nothing at all. He gets the money and throws the money to the crowd, prompting Heenan to steal it and run off.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was awful, but the crowd was going crazy the whole time. Classic example of a match where the crowd played a key factor. Andre was getting to the point here where he couldn’t do much. These giant vs. giant matchups were rarely good but this worked as the whole idea was to just have Andre FINALLY end the “you can’t slam me” angle which he had done about a dozen times on house shows but this was the official one.

Women’s Title: Wendi Richter vs. Lelani Kai

In the penultimate match of the night, we get the first of the Rock N Wrestling matches with the Women’s Title on the line with Wendi Richter against Lelani Kai for the Women’s Title. At the time, Richter was the second biggest face in the company, often main eventing house shows when Hogan was elsewhere. Cyndi Lauper being in her corner didn’t hurt her at all as Lauper got into this.

In a scene that for some reason is now famous, Lauper and Richter run down the aisle in the back of the arena as the crowd is going crazy over this. For one of the only times ever in wrestling, the celebrity manager clearly wants to be doing this. This match is standard back and forth stuff with the young Richter clearly being the one that’s going to win or MSG might have been burned down. Finally Richter reverses a cross body to get the pin and the title as the fans are going insane.

Rating: B. This match was billed as half of the double main event. Think about that for just a bit. The Women’s Title match, main eventing Wrestlemania. If that doesn’t tell you how big Lauper and Richter were, nothing will. I never really got the appeal of Richter but at this time she was main eventing the B-level house shows over the IC Title or Tag Titles. Imagine going to a show today where the main event had Michelle McCool in it.

Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff

And now for the main event, we have Mr. T and Hulk Hogan against Piper and Orndorff with Muhammad Ali himself as the guest referee. Why this wasn’t Hogan against Piper one on one is beyond me. As usual, Piper has a live bagpipes band which is always cool. The fans aren’t really booing much because they know what’s coming. Real American was already taken so instead we hear Eye of the Tiger, or at least I think we do.

The eruption is so loud I’m not sure what I’m hearing. Your other referee is Pat Patterson. If you’ve seen one Hogan match you’ve seen them all for the most part and this is no exception. Hogan embarrasses his opponents to start and then gets beaten down with some cheating. Double teams throughout the match on both Hogan and T until finally we get the brawl we’ve all waited for. Bob Orton and Jimmy Snuka are the seconds here and they both get involved.

Finally Orton comes off with the cast to his Hogan but catches Orndorff instead as Hogan pins him. This prompts Piper to leave him in the ring, which led to Orndorff’s face turn. Hogan and T pose as we go off the air.

Rating: B. Basic tag match, but why was this a tag? It just made little sense and there was no drama to it at all. Hogan didn’t even win with the legdrop. Fun little match, but not for the main event of Mania. For the life of me I will never get why this wasn’t Hogan vs. Piper for the title, perhaps with Piper even defending and dropping it to Hogan. Very odd choice indeed but it worked very well for what it was supposed to be.

Overall rating: C-. This show clearly isn’t famous for the wrestling as there’s only 2-3 good matches on the card. What this show is famous for is the idea of a supercard in the biggest arena there was in the biggest city there was with celebrities, national coverage, and a huge main event. The idea was amazing but no one knew what they had here and it shows. For its time this was mind blowing. Now it’s just average at best. Watch it for the last three matches and skip the others.

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This is another thing that crops up a lot that people don’t seem to get the common sense aspect of. People want less PPVs and to go to eight PPVs a year or something like that. People like these make me laugh. Here’s why.

The lowest amount of PPV buys in modern WWE history is December to Dismember with 90,000. At $40 a buy, that’s $360,000. Let’s go WAY low and say WWE gets 25% of that. That’s $90,000 for three hours. That’s not including ticket sales, merchandise sales for that night, any cut WWE might get of concessions and/or parking from the arena. Keeping in mind that’s by far the lowest amount of buys in WWE history, here’s my question.

Why in the world would WWE want to cut out HUGE paydays like that? What are they going to do to replace that money? PPV is the biggest money maker they’ve got, especially when you throw in any sponsorships they get to bring in even more money. How often do you hear of someone wanting to sponsor a Sunday night house show? Now how many times do you hear of someone sponsoring say Summerslam?

Getting rid of PPVs might help the product somewhat, but there is simply no way that cutting out multiple PPVs is going to make the company more money, period.

USWA Wrestling Challenge
Date: January 27, 1990
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Marc Lowrance, Terrance Garvin, Jerry Lawler

Here’s the final show I have for these guys at the moment. We’ve jumped ahead another three weeks so hopefully we get something a little newer here. Also am I missing something or has there been no Lawler in a long time? Anyway this show can’t get much more boring so let’s get to it.

As usual we open with a clip from last week where Adams/Funk beat up Braddock/Chu-Hi but Tojo came in for the DQ. Adams came back with a superkick to take out Chi-Hi and that’s it.

Some chick sings America the Beautiful.

Chris Adams vs. Texas Battleship

No idea who Battleship is but he’s good sized. The fans chant Superkick and they circle each other a lot. Battleship is sent to the floor and Adams hits a suicide dive to take him out. Back in a top rope superkick ends this quick.

Here’s Lawler who is defending against JYD next week. Lowrance wants to know when Kerry gets his title shot as well. Lawler runs down all of Texas and says that he’ll be champion as long as he wants. As for JYD, he may have brought himself up from the gutter but he’s getting homesick. JYD has become a religious man lately since he’s been praying for something to happen to keep him from having to face Lawler. As for Lowrance, the people aren’t clapping for him. They’re slapping their heads to stay awake. Lawler is going to sit in on commentary.

Texas Title: Chris Youngblood vs. Kerry Von Erich

Well Lawler is certainly better than Garvin. Lawler wants to know how Kerry can call himself a Modern Day Warrior when he’s a washed up has been. Kerry is defending of course. He wants Lawler gone for his match but Jerry is allowed to stay. Lawler leaves on his own so he can watch Youngblood take the title. Kerry punches Chris to the floor to start and grabs a quick Claw but Youngblood bails.

We take a break and come back with Youngblood chopping in the corner. There’s a guitar on a pole match coming up. Holy Russo Batman! Youngblood hooks a wristlock but Kerry comes back with a discus punch to tie Youngblood up in the ropes. Chris tries to leave so they fight on the floor with Kerry’s face going into the post. Kerry takes a chair to the back but it’s not a DQ. Kerry tries the discus punch but he hits the post.

Youngblood works over the hand now. He’s a Medicine Man if I didn’t mention that. Back inside and it’s time for an abdominal stretch. You know, after Kerry punched a steel post. Kerry escapes and loads up the Claw but Youngblood blocks it. Kerry settles for the Stomach Claw instead but Youngblood punches out of it and we head back to the floor. Back in the ring the discus punch hits again as does a piledriver. Youngblood is up way too fast so Kerry rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: C-. This match was nothing great but WOW what a breath of fresh air this was to have someone out there that was capable of showing some energy instead of just standing around and moving very slowly. Kerry may have been drugged out of his mind most matches but he could get a crowd going and that’s more than most people lately have been able to say.

We recap Jarrett vs. Travis. Apparently Travis has been dressing up in an Elvis jumpsuit and hitting people with a guitar. The solution: a guitar on a pole match. We also get a quick video on Jarrett.

Billy Joe Travis vs. Jeff Jarrett

Lawler comes back to do commentary. Jarrett jumps Travis as soon as he gets in and they head to the floor. It’s so weird hearing the voice of Raw on here. Back in the ring and Jarrett whacks him with a chair. Billy for the pole but Jarrett gets a great right hand to stop him. After saying the word superplex, Jeff hits one to take Billy down. Jarrett DDTs Travis on the table which doesn’t move an inch. There’s a piledriver on the floor and partially onto a chair. We take a break and come back with Jarrett tombstoning Travis and getting the guitar. That’s what you have to do to win. Ok then.

Rating: C+. This was basically a Jarrett squash. That being said, it was entertaining because the idea was to have Travis be the Honky Tonk Man character, as in the guy that everyone can beat but he keeps eluding them. Once you get someone in there that gets their hands on him and tears him apart, he doesn’t stand a chance. This was part of the blowoff for that and it worked pretty well.

Post match Lawler comes in the ring and beats down Jeff. Out to the floor and Jeff goes into the post. Lawler hits Jarrett with the guitar, breaking it after about three shots. Kerry Von Erich makes the save. Lawler sells his punches incredibly well. The numbers catch up with Kerry and Lawler gets in some shots with the handle of the guitar. Jarrett makes the save with a chair.

Overall Rating: C. See now THIS is more like it. It’s not a great show or anything but there was actual energy in these matches. Jarrett looked like a big deal, Kerry was his usual self with firing up the crowd, Adams was good for getting the people going and Lawler is his usual heat generating machine. I want to see Lawler vs. Von Erich now and I’d assume there’s a tag match coming with those four. If I find any more of these shows I’ll throw them up as this one would have made me keep watching.

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USWA Wrestling Challenge
Date: January 6, 1990
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Marc Lowrance, Terrance Garvin

After this one I only have one more so thankfully this one is short. The show last week was a major downturn from what they had been doing back in the fall. Then again that’s very typical of a regional company: have a hot period for awhile and then cool off significantly. Anyway I’d assume we’ll get back to something other than the tag teams this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of last week on Wrestling Challenge which isn’t last week on Wrestling Challenge. So apparently I can’t read and I did the December 23rd episode last week. Brilliant KB, brilliant.

Ok so last week there was a six man tag where Chris Adams got beaten up really badly by Devastation Inc. Chris’ chick Toni tried to keep Eric Embry from throwing Chris back inside so Eric shoved her down. This triggered a brawl between Adams and Embry which had been brewing for awhile.

The main event tonight: the Stud Stable vs. Jarrett/Borne. Again. GREAT.

Billy Joe Travis vs. Jimmy Jack Funk

This is joined in progress. Funk throws Travis around and Akbar pops in to run his mouth as usual. Garvin yells about rumors a lot while the wrestlers stand around. Funk works on the arm. That must be this place’s religion. Travis takes over and drops a knee for two. A backbreaker gets two for Funk. This is so boring and Garvin isn’t helping. Funk uses an O’Connor Roll but Travis rolls through and pulls the trunks to win.

Rating: D. Another bad match from these Devastation Inc. guys. Their matches just aren’t that good and it’s getting annoying to have to sit through them. Funk was nothing special but he could do more than this Billy Joe Travis guy. Apparently Travis was a guy everyone wanted to beat up so at least he had heat on him.

Sheik Braddock vs. Kevin Von Erich

Von Eric tries the Claw very quickly so Braddock heads to the floor. Garvin wants to see Adams vs. Embry next week. It’s kind of odd to see Von Erich as he doesn’t wear shoes and has white trunks so he looks like he’s in white briefs and that’s it. Braddock goes to the eyes for a brief advantage. Not that it matters as Kevin clotheslines him down and puts on the Claw for the pin. Just a squash.

Gary Young vs. Dustin Rhodes

This is a grudge match for some reason. They immediately head to the floor and into the crowd. Akbar has something to say too. Ok he’s reached the point of annoying instead of evil. Back in and Young hits a knee to the head to take over. Gary pounds on his head as we talk about Dusty for some reason. Dustin comes back with a backdrop and the elbow to the head. Gary responds by KICKING HIM IN THE FACE.

Knee lift gets two. This referee counts slow. Akbar drills Dustin on the floor and we take a break. Back with Young walking around slowly. Young hits another knee lift and it’s off to a chinlock. Now Garvin is whining about the mail and how Lowrance doesn’t read his or whatever. Dustin comes back with some right hands but gets caught by a piledriver. Akbar distracts the referee so Young brings in a chair. Dustin blocks it and that’s a DQ.

Rating: D. These Devastation guys are so boring and they’re killing these shows. Young is the biggest ripoff of Rick Rude that I’ve ever seen but he has no charisma at all. Boring match as Dustin was on offense for all of five seconds. Also they never told us why this is some huge feud which didn’t help.

Dustin clears the ring with the chair post match.

Tag Titles: Brian Lee/Robert Fuller vs. Jeff Jarrett/Matt Borne

Fuller and Lee get in an argument over who starts. Garvin is about to drive me crazy. There’s this whine in his voice which makes him so annoying. Also he keeps calling Jarrett Jeffy. Jarrett armdrags Lee and it’s off to Borne. Belly to belly puts Lee down but Fuller comes in for something that was supposed to be an elbow but he couldn’t even do that right. Lee starts to leave but Fuller stops him.

Lowrance talks about next week’s unexpected main event between Adams and Embry. If it’s unexpected why do you know who’s in it? We take a break and come back with Fuller complaining about being dropkicked to the floor. I’m not sure if this is the same Terry Garvin from WWF or not. That one was from Montreal and this one sounds like he’s from Tennessee. The character similarities are way too similar though.

Borne is in trouble but comes back with a devastating headlock. Lee shoves him into a knee from Fuller though to keep Borne in trouble. Back to Fuller who still can’t do much right. Off to a chinlock and Lee comes in with a middle rope knee drop. Fuller’s piledriver is countered…and here’s P.Y. Chu-Hi to draw a DQ for beating up Borne.

Rating: D+. This slow style is terribly boring. I get that it’s a cultural thing but would it kill them to get someone with some talent in there? Fuller is terribly uninteresting and Borne isn’t much of a maniac. The Stable would hold the titles for awhile longer before losing them the next month. That can’t come soon enough.

Somehow Chu-Hi slamming Borne and dropping a top rope leg on him isn’t a DQ, but rather a no contest. Whatever. Borne is carried out to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Well it’s a little bit better than last week but that’s not saying much. This company has gone off a cliff lately and nothing is interesting at all anymore. The in ring work is killing it as there’s no emotion or interest at all in it. The angles are barely existent other than Devastation Inc. is bad. One show to go though so maybe it won’t be so bad.

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Clash of the Champions 35
Date: August 21, 1997
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes

Clash of the Champions more or less was WCW’s Saturday Night’s Main Event. They started it up to go head to head with Wrestlemania 4 and actually put a solid dent in it. The show went on for 9 years but by the end no one cared at all. The show was just worthless as there was already two hours of television a week so in essence we were just getting an extra Nitro two weeks a year, which is why this is the final one.

As for current storylines, this is at the height of the NWO’s power but Sting is looming. I think you know the story there. The main event is Luger and DDP vs. Savage and Hall. See what I mean about how this just isn’t that interesting of a show? Let’s get to it.

The opening video just runs down the card. Other than the stupid tag team main event this sounds pretty decent.

We get a clip of Dillon saying that Sting has until Thursday to make his demands as Sting had ripped up two contracts with match offers in them. Sting came through the crowd and got in the ring and the fans chanted Hogan. Sting pointed to the fans who were chanting it. This angle was freaking sweet. And then Hogan and his ego just had to kill it dead.

US Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve McMichael

Jarrett used to be a Horsemen and stole McMichael’s wife Debra so Mongo wants to get the title to get some revenge or something. This was the epitome of a feud that no one wanted to see but would never die. Mongo is a Horsemen here meaning we get to hear the sweetest theme music of all time. Jarrett was neither interesting nor good at this time whereas Mongo never was either of those things so we’ll give it to…dang who do we give this one to?

Actually let’s just hope this ends fast. We take a break and come back with Jarrett throwing Mongo into the steps (His name was Steve Mongo McMichael in case you were wondering). Debra chokes him and I still couldn’t care less. The WCW midcard just completely sucked and while we were having Owen vs. Austin followed by Rock vs. Austin in WWF at this point for the IC belt, this just doesn’t hold up. Jarrett puts on a sleeper as a great visual representation for this match.

Mongo gets his own and Debra gets up on the apron. For no apparent reason Eddie Guerrero runs out with a belt and goes up top but hits Jarrett by mistake. Mongo covers for the title with ease. Debra tries to get him back and fails at it.

Rating: D+. At least it was short. These two feuded forever and no one cared ever. It just wasn’t interesting at all but they thought they could just slap the Horsemen name on it and get a good reaction from it through the south. There wasn’t much here though so the time was good if nothing else. Mongo held it for less than a month before Hennig turned heel and took it.

Alex Wright comes out and speaks in English and Gene warns him to speak in English which was stupid. It’s as simple of a promo as you could ask for. He has Ultimo Dragon tonight.

Gene is with the guys from a show called Dinner and a Movie. In essence they showed a movie and made food with a play on words of the movie title. It was an ok idea but why are these guys on a wrestling show? There’s your problem with WCW right there: too much corporate interference.

Stevie Richards vs. Raven

Raven “didn’t have a contract” at this point and insisted on wrestling only in No DQ matches. This is a grudge match or something as Richards was tired of Raven pushing him around. Richards had allegedly had a career ending neck injury but miraculously healed and showed up in WCW a few weeks later. They point out Raven’s ankle issue as he has a thing on his shoe to balance out the fact that his right leg is shorter than his left.

The Raven drop toehold hits to the chair as this is just a squash match so far. He throws in a bulldog onto the chair for good measure. Richards comes back with some decent stuff but at the end of the day he remembers he’s Steven Richards and the other guy is Raven and the best DDT other than Jake Roberts (who trained Raven) ends it.

Rating: C+. It was a squash and a quick one at that so we’ll just call it a bit above average for the DDT, which is the coolest move in history. Richards would be gone in like two weeks or so.

We get a cool video about Ultimo Dragon, explaining a bit of his history and his name. WCW hit the ball so far out of the park with this division that it’s insane. The name was called Ultimate Dragon but that was incorrect, as it was supposed to be Ultimo Dragon: Final Dragon, as in the final student of Bruce Lee, who he emulated in the ring. That’s the kind of thing that you just never get in WWE and it’s why the cruiserweights worked so well.

That and they never took them seriously. The shot of the J-Crown (8 titles from around the world which were defended on WCW television and included a WWF light heavyweight title that was active for 20 years but only in Japan, meaning that a WWF Title was defended on WCW television multiple times in 1996 and 1997) titles being piled up is just awesome.

TV Title: Ultimo Dragon vs. Alex Wright

When Dragon won the title a few weeks prior, it was the match where no one talked about the match whatsoever other than the final three count as the whole match was nothing but talking about the NWO. At the end they more or less said hey we have a new champion! Now back to what we were talking about. It was just ridiculous how that was all they talked about.

Wright was a guy that they tried so hard to push but it just never played out like they wanted it to. He was this young hotshot that was somewhat over as a face so of course they turned him heel and no one cared after that. Dragon really was underrated in the ring. In WWE they just threw him into the cruiserweight division and let him die off because that division sucked so hard it was pathetic. These two feuded for the better part of a year and I don’t think anyone ever cared.

There was no focus at all on the title or anything as it was always about the NWO. Dragon gets the Asai moonsault that he invented and does better than anyone else. The commentary is all about them as well which is NICE. We hit a very nice ending sequence as they fight over pins but Wright hits a SWEET German suplex for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. This was a good match but just boring. The problem was that while these two had good matches, it’s Ultimo Dragon vs. Alex Wright. There’s just no heat at all and it’s not a great matchup while being a good match if that makes sense.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Jericho

Eddie is challenging here and is freshly full heel. Eddie’s cowardly heel stuff of running on his knees always made me chuckle. How much commentary do you really need on a Guerrero vs. Jericho cruiserweight match? The Canadian goes for that running springboard dropkick to the guy on the apron that he uses a lot but slips and botches it badly.

I guess once a year is understandable. In a quick ending, they hit another fast series of pinfalls but Jericho actually keeps Eddie down and gets the pin. Eddie jumps him after the match.

Rating: C-. WAY too short here but we just had to have Mongo and Jarrett earlier instead of on Nitro right? The ending sequence was fun as always and these two just flowed together pretty well. They needed more time though and that’s why the grade is low.

Silver King/Villano 4/Villano 5/Psicosis vs. Super Calo/Juventud Guerrera/Hector Garza/Lismark Jr.

More or less the idea here is go out there and do a bunch of flips like you do every night without ever getting pushed more than a tiny bit against each other. This is Lucha rules, meaning if someone goes to the floor then they don’t have to make a tag for someone else to come in. I used to hate Mike Tenay but he’s worth his weight in gold here.

There’s no real point to saying who is in as they move in and out so fast that it’s hard to keep up with them. We hit the big pile on with everyone hitting their big over the top rope until Psicosis hits the guillotine legdrop off the top onto Super Calo for the pin.

Rating: B-. It was just over the top and ridiculous which is what these guys did best. This was very fun and it worked well as it always did. These guys were well paid to go out there and just get the crowd going and that’s what they always did.

The cooking guys join the NWO. Tonight is their one year anniversary but Hogan isn’t here tonight because he’s in Canada doing a Hollywood movie. That’s WCW for you. We go to a commercial and come back to DDP Diamond Cutting one of the movie guys.

Konnan/Syxx vs. Ric Flair/Curt Hennig

Hennig was kind of an associate Horseman at the time but soon he would join the NWO and injure Flair. If there was ever a guy tailor made to be in the Horsemen, it’s Hennig. Syxx (X-Pac) more or less beats up Flair but we’ll ignore the pop he’s getting for doing it. That doesn’t exist. Flair gets his knee knocked out as Hennig hits the Fisherman’s Suplex on Konnan to get the win. This was a five minute train wreck.

Rating: C-. This was just insane and it felt like it was about two minutes long instead of the five that it actually was. Hennig denies being a Horsemen but also denies not being a Horsemen while only saying one thing. He actually does this which is impressive.

He would go heel soon enough in another dumb move because he was perfect for the Horsemen. He had the look, he could talk, he was over, he had the attitude and he was great in the ring. Naturally he was thrown into the NWO and forgotten about.

WCW Tag Titles: Lex Luger/DDP vs. Randy Savage/Scott Hall

About ten guys come out for the NWO and they have their party for it being their birthday. Apparently Nash is letting Savage defend his half of the tag titles for no apparent reason. Yeah of course we just throw two guys together that have never teamed together before (according to the ring announcer) and give them a tag title shot.

In WWF they would have won the titles. People keep popping the balloons that the NWO dropped so it sounds like people keep shooting guns or something and it’s really annoying. And for no apparent reason everyone other than Nash leaves. It’s exactly what you would expect from a match where the titles simply weren’t going to change hands.

The faces dominate early on but then the heels take over to set up the hot tag. Luger gets Hall in the rack but takes an accidental Diamond Cutter and gets pinned. What else is there to say here?

Rating: C+. It’s ok and that’s about it. What more do you want here? They had an ok match that no one cared about on a show that not a lot of people actually watched. Are you looking for something huge here?

We come back and Bischoff talks forever and then the lights begin to flicker. They go off and we see Sting in the rafters with a vulture. The famous speech in a child’s voice follows and the lights go out again and the bird is on the top rope. The NWO is terrified and Nash pulls the belt back to swing it at him as we go off the air. Think about how stupid this was for the live audience for a minute.

Overall Rating: C-. You could see that this was about the name of the show and nothing more. Yeah there were four title matches but that happened at almost every Nitro. Yes two titles changed hands but who cares? It’s just not an interesting show as Nitro was lighting the world on fire on Mondays on a weekly basis. Ten years earlier this was an awesome idea but here it just didn’t hold up at all. Not bad, but only watch if you like this time in WCW. Otherwise it’s nothing of note at all.

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USWA Wrestling Challenge
Date: December 23, 1989
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Marc Lowrance, Terrance Garvin

Since I only have three shows from the USWA from the late 80s/early 90s, I figured I’d go old school marathon style on them and get all of them out of the way in a row. This is from December of 89 and after this we jump ahead to the end of the year. My guess is this is going to focus on Eric Embry. Just a hunch. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from last week where Eric Embry and Chris Adams beat up Gary Young and Billy Joe Travis. Eric accidentally hit Adams and Joe got the pin.

I wonder if that’s Terry Garvin, who is known for his little black book of men to sleep with around the country. Well he’s in pink and purple and is very flamboyant so you figure it out. Gorilla once said Garvin would always be behind someone in one of those lines you only get if you know your history.

Apparently it’s tag team title tournament week and we’re in the second round.

Tag Team Title Tournament Second Round: Robert Fuller/Brian Lee vs. Dustin Rhodes/Jimmy Jack Funk

Joined in progress. Dustin is 20 here so he’s very new. Lee you might know as Chainz from the DOA or the Fake Undertaker in 1994. Fuller is Colonel Parker and Funk is Art Barr’s less talented brother. We’re joined in progress with Dustin dropkicking Lee and it’s off to Fuller who is awful. The heels are the Stud Stable and Dustin’s team is the Texas Connection. Fuller and Lee are knocked to the floor as Garvin runs down women.

Dustin controls Lee with a headlock on the mat and Lee looks like he’s trying to remember if he picked up his dry cleaning. Up to their feet and Dustin punches like his daddy. Off to Fuller as we take a break. Back with Lee holding Dustin in a chinlock. The less Fuller I see in the ring the happier I am. Lee gets a knee to the ribs and it’s off to Fuller.

Miss Sylvia, the Stable’s manager, hits Dustin in the head with a cane so Fuller grabs the arm. Back to Lee who collides with Dustin to put both guys down. There’s the tag to Funk and everything breaks down. Funk powerslams Lee but there’s no count. Sylvia slides in the cane and Lee cracks Funk with it to advance to the finals.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here for the most part with the heels dominating for far too long. Dustin was clearly very green at this point but his time would come soon enough. The Stud Stable was a long running top heel stable in the south so they knew how to be all old school bad. That doesn’t mean it worked, but they had an idea of what they were doing at least.

Tag Team Title Tournament Second Round: Gary Young/Billy Joe Travis vs. Jeff Jarrett/Matt Borne

This is a semi-final match. Young and Travis have the Ryder half trunks/half tights thing going on. Borne and Jarrett are the former champions but they were stripped for some reason. Jeff vs. Travis starts us off. Akbar jumps in on commentary for a few seconds and says exactly what you would expect a heel manager to say. Jarrett and Travis have nothing going on here so it’s off to Young.

Jarrett controls again and it’s off to Borne who hits a German for two. This is really boring so far. Jarrett comes in for some armdrags and we take a break. Back with Borne knocking Travis to the floor. Travis loses the string in his tights somehow which Lowrance finds much funnier than he should. Borne gets double teamed in the corner and it’s Young working him over.

Travis punches Borne and please let this end soon. The finals are later tonight apparently. Borne kicks Travis low and makes the hot tag to Simply Irresistible Jeff Jarrett. He fires off dropkicks all around and everything breaks down. Akbar trips Jarrett so Jeff pounds on him. He chokes Akbar with his own whip and that’s a DQ win for Travis and Young somehow. Dustin comes out and somehow gets the decision reversed, sending Jarrett/Borne to the finals.

Rating: D-. Technically this was fine I guess but OH MY GOODNESS it went on forever. I was hoping for this to end which is never what you want out of a match. Young and Travis are semi-cowardly heels which means a long match is really not what you want out of them. Borne seemed inept but Jarrett looked like a more energetic version of his 1994 self but as a face. Take that for what its worth.

Tag Titles: Matt Borne/Jeff Jarrett vs. Robert Fuller/Brian Lee

This is either at a different show or the company is kind of stupid as Jarrett/Borne have another full entrance. Fuller and Jarrett start us off. Fuller is a lot taller than I thought he was. Jarrett armdrags him a few times and Fuller bails to the floor. Lee comes in and gets his arm worked on as well. Jeff moves around too fast and we get heel miscommunication. Now Lee works on Jeff’s arm as the announcers argue over how tall Lee is.

Off to Borne and WE GET IT. YOU KNOW HOW TO WORK ON AN ARM. We take a break with Jarrett in the enemy corner. Jeff gets thrown to the floor where Sylvia hits him with a stick. Off to Borne and Lee with Borne hitting a side suplex for two. The heels take over on the future Doink the Clown as this is going very slowly. Borne kicks Lee in the ribs and tags Jeff back in. Jeff cleans house with an assortment of punches and everything breaks down. In a really weak ending, Jarrett brings Sylvia in for a spanking, allowing Fuller to kick him in the back of the head for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. Another boring match here which seems to be a running theme on this show. Jarrett again was the lone bright spot in this, primarily due to everyone else either having not much talent or being brand new at this point. Not much to see here but we get some heel champions which gives us a bunch of teams to want to beat on them.

Lowrance wraps it up.

Overall Rating: D-. Seeing new champions for free is cool but WOW things don’t go well for this company when it’s based on in ring action instead of drama. I was digging the stuff from August and September but this was almost a chore to sit through. When your show is 39 minutes not counting commercials, that’s reaching NXT levels of bad.

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No Mercy 2005
Date: October 9, 2005
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final of this set of shows and we’re finally out of the Undertaker in gimmick title matches. Now he’s in gimmick non-title matches, in this case a handicap casket match against the Ortons. The main event is Batista defending against Eddie who is turning more heel by the day but he’s pretending to be a nice guy. It’s also his last PPV match ever. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Eddie vs. Batista with Eddie swearing he’s a changed man. If Eddie crosses Batista, Batista will end him. Also we hear about the handicap casket match.

MNM vs. Legion of Doom/Christy Hemme

This is Animal/Heidenreich which never worked at all. They’re the tag champions here. My goodness Christy was gorgeous. She took a Snapshot on Smackdown so she’s injured coming in. Animal has a taped up shoulder too. Heidenreich pulls Nitro in and the beating is on before he can even take the fur coat off. Heidenreich is all fired up and hits a three point clothesline for two. Off to the large gut with the Animal attached but Mercury gets in a kick to the shoulder to take over.

He keeps kicking at it and knocks Heidenreich to take draw him in. MNM hits the Snapshot on Animal very quickly but it only gets two because of the delay in getting to the cover. Mercury snaps the shoulder over the top rope to let Nitro get two. The double team continues and Animal is in trouble. Neckbreaker gets two. Mercury goes up but jumps into an almost powerslam for two. Everything breaks down and Melina tags herself in. She dives onto Animal and gets caught. Off to Christy for a bad Hart Attack and then a HORRIBLE rana. As in the legs were around Melina’s arms. Doomsday Device ends Melina.

Rating: D-. Christy Hemme is a fine example of a girl that looks good in tight pants and a black bra. She’s incredibly attractive and sexy, but but she had no business being in a wrestling ring as a competitor. It didn’t work for her at all and she was only in the ring for about 45 seconds. Again though, she’s there for her looks and those work very well.

Eddie comes in to see Batista and almost evily says good luck. Batista says it back in a friendlier voice.

Here’s Simon Dean the fitness expert with his assistant who has a plate of hamburgers. Taz and Cole are cracking up at this. Dean talks about how Houston is the fattest city in America. He has 20 double cheeseburgers here and says it’s ok to eat one, but when you eat 20 at once you get fat. He calls out Lashley and says if he loses, he’ll eat all 20 of those burgers.

Bobby Lashley vs. Simon Dean

Lashley is in white here and it’s his PPV debut. This is a rematch from Lashley’s first match which was two days ago. Lashley throws him around but misses a corner charge. Dean throws hamburgers at Lashley and then hits him with the metal tray as the ref is distracted. That doesn’t work at all and Dean is thrown into the corner. They try to do a cool power spot where Dean is sitting in the corner while holding onto the top and having Lashley pull him out by his feet to catch him in the Dominator. The problem is Lashley can’t hold him up so he falls backwards and hits a regular Dominator to win it. Total squash.

Lashley forces the hamburger into Dean’s mouth.

Jillian still has the mole on her face but introduces JBL who says Raw won’t invade tonight. They can’t invade because they’re invited. JBL welcomes a challenge but watch what he does to Mysterio first. Rey pops up and speaks Spanish, talking about the Mexican flag. JBL tells the “intertube boy” that he needs to speak English in America. Rey hands him a Mysterio mask for after the underdog beats him. JBL declines so Rey gives it to Jillian.

US Title: Booker T vs. Christian vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending, Booker gets a big pop as the hometown guy and this is one fall to a finish. Benoit beat Jordan in like 25 seconds at Summerslam to win the title. Why he’s in this match is beyond me. Jordan goes after Benoit and takes him down so the heels (Christian/Jordan) can double team Booker. Booker knocks Christian to the floor and kicks Jordan down but Christian pulls him to the outside.

Benoit pops up out of nowhere with a Crossface on Jordan but Christian saves. With Booker on the floor, Benoit cleans house on the other two. Suplexes all around and Christian is put in a quickly broken up Sharpshooter. Booker comes off the top with a missile dropkick to take Christian down as it’s his turn to be in control. Jordan and Christian are knocked to the floor so we get a staredown between Booker and Benoit.

They don’t really do much though as Christian comes in and is suplexed over the top with ease. Benoit goes to the floor to fight his fellow Canadian as Booker and Jordan clothesline each other down. Christian breaks up the Swan Dive by fighting Benoit on the top. Jordan is whipped into them and the Canadians hit the floor. Booker rolls up Jordan for a VERY close two. Benoit comes back in and walks into a side kick.

Cole reminds us that everyone is legal at the same time. Thanks Cole. The first seven minutes of this match didn’t tell me that. Axe kick gets two on Jordan. Christian throws Benoit into Booker to knock Booker to the floor but Christian can’t hit the Unprettier on Benoit. Benoit tries Rolling Germans but Orlando breaks it up.

Orlando is thrown out onto Booker, leaving the Canadians in the ring. After four Germans Benoit misses the Swan Dive. Christian tries a rollup but Benoit reverses into the Crossface. Orlando seems to miss his cue on the save as he takes forever. Jordan is sent to the floor and the Sharpshooter makes Christian tap.

Rating: C. This seems like a match that belonged on a house show. It wasn’t that bad but I don’t think anyone was really expecting a new champion here. Benoit was on a roll at this point and would hold the title for about six more months. It’s not a bad match but it was more of a Benoit showcase than a competitive match.

Sharmell yells at Booker post match.

Lashley is making Dean eat the burgers.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Hardcore Holly

Hardcore shoved Kennedy during a match while Kennedy was on commentary so Kennedy cost him a match. This is Kennedy’s PPV debut. Kennedy does his usual intro before the match. Holly is introduced as The Alabama Slamma. Holly pounds him down to start and hits the dropkick. There are some hard chops in the corner but Kennedy suckers Holly in and sends him to the floor.

Out to the floor for a bit as the fans are just gone. Literally, as in you can see empty seats in the first few rows. Kennedy works on the arm to waste some time. A single arm DDT gets two. This is a horribly boring match. Holly comes back and hits a full nelson slam for two. Kennedy tries a spin kick but Holly won’t sell it. He kicks Kennedy down and they go to the corner. The rolling fireman’s carry slam off the middle rope gets the pin for Kennedy.

Rating: F. OH MAN this was bad. It went on almost ten minutes and was about three minutes of arm work. Holly wouldn’t sell anything and it made Kennedy look like an idiot. Kennedy never quite got it in the ring but he tried at least. There was always something misses for him though, and this wasn’t a good start at all.

Holly takes forever to get out of the ring so Sylvan, the fashion consultant of Smackdown who is more worthless than any wrestler you’ll EVER see, comes out to the ring and attacks the bad ribs.

Simon is still eating burgers.

Sharmell yells at Booker some more. Kennedy comes up and makes fun of them. This takes forever and Sharmell yells more after Kennedy leaves.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey fires off right hands to start and ducks a big boot. JBL actually goes technical and hooks a side headlock to take it to the mat. Rey takes over again and sends JBL out to the floor to frustrate him. A baseball slide puts Bradshaw down and the rich dude is mad. He uses the power to take over but Rey takes the knee out and a facejam gets two. Rey works over the knee and cannonballs down onto it.

The 619 misses and JBL heads to the floor. Rey bulldogs him to the floor but hurts himself in the process. Bradshaw sends his head into the steps to take over. My goodness JBL has a beer belly on him. Back in and JBL pounds him down before hitting a fallaway slam from the middle rope for no cover. A regular fallaway slam sends Rey to the floor where JBL hits a third one.

Back inside the slams get two. Time for a bearhug. This match has been pretty slow paced. There isn’t much of a story to it either so it doesn’t really draw the fans in that well. JBL puts him on the ropes but Rey comes back with a tornado DDT. Rey speeds things up and hits the Bronco Buster but Jillian gets up for a distraction. JBL almost hits her but puts on the brakes, only to walk into a moonsault press for two. Rey knocks him into the ropes and hits the 619, but the West Coast Pop misses and the Clothesline ends this.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match for the most part but it was pretty boring. It was a nice surprise to see JBL win as Rey would have seemed to be the obvious winner here. This is more or less JBL’s win to keep some kind of importance on him for when he jobbed to everyone on the planet afterwards.

Someone gets fired on Raw tomorrow. It would be JR.

We recap the Ortons vs. Undertaker. Orton had turned heel to try to break the Streak but of course he lost. It became an obsession for him and he beat Undertaker at Summerslam. Taker came for revenge and caskets were brought in. There was an Undertaker mannequin in the casket which scared Taker, according to Randy. Tonight it’s a handicap casket match with Taker against the Ortons.

Undertaker vs. Bob Orton/Randy Orton

Both Ortons have to go in for Undertaker to win. Taker gets the full druid entrance as they bring out the casket. He then gets his own entrance to really fill in time. Taker controls with punches to start, knocking both Ortons around. Then the numbers take over so the Ortons control with punches. Now Taker comes back and knocks them both down. He manages to throw Bob in the casket but Randy throws Taker knees first into the steps.

Undertaker is put in the casket but gets out with, you guessed it, punches. Back in the ring and Bob is down in the corner. Old School is loaded up for Randy but Bob manages to crotch him. Both Ortons go up on the ropes and they manage a double superplex. Bob covers probably out of instinct. They keep trying to double suplex Taker into the casket but Taker counters into a double DDT.

Bob is thrown into the casket and Randy takes the snake eyes/big boot combo. Bob is out of the casket now and appears to have something in his hands. Oh it’s a fire extinguisher. Randy hits the backbreaker in the ring and we go outside. Randy jumps off the apron but gets rammed back first into the post. A big chair shot to the back puts Randy in and Bob gets caught in a triangle choke. Taker finally gets Bob in but Randy gets up and knocks Taker away.

All three are in the casket now as the younger guys stand up and brawl. Taker knocks Randy out and slams the lid on Bob. The announcers talk like that eliminates him but there’s been nothing that implies he would be until now. Randy low blows Undertaker and hits the powerslam. Randy opens the casket but takes a low blow as well. Taker pounds on him some more but Randy hits the dropkick and they go into the corner.

Randy, ever the idiot, puts himself in perfect position for the Last Ride. Tazz: “WHY DID HE DO THAT???” Last Ride kills Randy but Bob pops out of the casket with the fire extinguisher. A blast into the eyes by Bob allows Randy to hit the RKO. Bob tries to roll Taker into the casket but Taker grabs him by the throat. Randy pops up with the fire extinguisher to the head and Taker is knocked into the casket. He pulls Randy in with him and the lid closes, but for some reason that doesn’t end it. Not that it matters as Taker and Randy pop up seconds later and Randy hits him with a chair to win.

Rating: C-. It’s not a horrible match I don’t guess but it never got interesting at all. That’s what this PPV has been in a nutshell: not bad but nothing to get excited about at all. Cole declaring this the final nail in Undertaker’s coffin was laughable because that guy has died more times than I can count but he keeps coming back. Anyway, not bad but it lead to HIAC at I think Armageddon.

Post match the Ortons do the Royal Rumble 1998 thing where the hack open the casket and pour gas in then light it on fire. Taker would come back at Survivor Series and then have a Cell match at Armageddon to blow off the feud.

Wrestlemania is in Chicago.

Taz and Cole talk about how serious this is and how you can smell the gas and the smoke.

Now here are Mexicans on lawnmowers.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Nunzio

Nunzio is defending after Juvy won a battle royal. The attempted murderers are going to be talking on WWE.com if you’re interested. The Mexicools and Vito are on the floor. Juvy gets three covers inside of 20 seconds. Nunzio gets some rollups as well and it’s a standoff. The crowd is pretty quiet for this. A headscissors gets two for Juvy. Tazz, who was all shocked and serious a few minutes before, is making juice jokes.

Nunzio takes it to the mat with a surfboard hold as Tazz has to remind himself that there’s a match going on. Rollup gets two for Juvy. They both go up and both hit facejams to put both guys down. They speed things up again and a seated dropkick gets two for Guerrera. Inverted powerbomb gets two. Juvy tries a sunset flip but gets shoved off so he headscissors Vito instead. Top rope crossbody is rolled through into two for Nunzio but he hits the Juvy Driver a few seconds later for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. I feel sorry for the guys in matches like these. No one is interested in seeing them and probably even fewer care who wins. This match is background noise while the fans catch their breath before we get to the main event. That being said, the match was nothing interesting at all as the Cruiserweight Title was long since dead at this point.

The Mexicools do an interview in Spanish.

Simon finishes the burgers but Lashley says that was only 19. Lashley pulls out one more huge one but Simon gets sick. Did we really wait the whole show for that payoff?

We recap the main event. Eddie says he wanted respect but no one bought it. This resulted in a tag match with Eddie/Batista vs. MNM where Eddie hit Batista with a chair but claimed it was an accident. Batista said if you screw me, I’ll end you.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Batista

Eddie takes him to the mat to start and Batista looks a bit surprised by the speed. He almost gets caught in a rollup but powers out of it. For some reason Eddie tries a test of strength and down he goes. He climbs the ropes while still in the grip but Big Dave throws him down with ease and Eddie bails for a bit.

Back in and Batista grabs a headlock. Eddie sends him into the corner and it’s right back to the headlock. Eddie tries to escape with a top wristlock but there’s too much Batista. The headlock goes on again but Eddie gets to the floor and grabs a chair. Batista grabs him by the throat and says Eddie wants to screw him with a chair. Eddie guillotines him on the top and hits a Frog Splash to the back for a close two. That was out of nowhere.

Eddie works on the back in the form of a body scissors but Batista powers out of it. Guerrero hits a dropkick to the back and hooks a half Boston Crab to put Big Dave in even more trouble. Batista makes the rope and Eddie goes to the corner and steals a tag rope. He drops it though and dropkicks Batista in the face instead. Nice guy. Off to a camel clutch as the back work continues.

Now it’s back to the body scissors but Batista stands up and hooks a bearhug which is quickly broken. Batista charges at him but Eddie dropkicks the knee out and tries a Texas Cloverleaf. Dave is like BY THE POWER OF MALENKO and counters with a small package before it’s on. Into the corner and Eddie jumps over Batista but stumbles and runs into the referee. Eddie gets a chair but throws it down instead of swinging it.

Batista sees the chair and gets all ticked off. He goes into Beast Mode and runs over Eddie with his power game. His back gives out on the Batista Bomb though so he has to settle for a spinebuster. That gets a delayed two and Eddie makes his comeback, doing his dance and hitting the Three Amigos. Batista avoids the Splash and a second spinebuster retains the title.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a bad match but it never got to the point where I was wanting to see what happened next. The whole point of the match was would Eddie go rudo or not and he didn’t do it, making the whole story of the match kind of dead because one on one, no one bought Eddie as a real threat to the title. It wasn’t a bad match at all but it’s certainly not something worth watching. The story is that Eddie would have won the title on the Smackdown two days after he died, so this was just the start of a bigger story.

Post match Eddie offers a handshake and Batista eventually accepts it. Batista turns away and Eddie gives him an evil smile which Batista doesn’t see.

Overall Rating: D+. The show is much like the main event: not bad for the most part, but I’d have felt pretty let down after this show. It’s a match that would have been perfect for the In Your House treatment back in the 90s, as this isn’t really an A-list main event. Coupling that with a lot of the filler matches like the six person and the Kennedy match, there’s not much of a need for this to be a three hour show. It passed two hours and forty five minutes but there’s no reason to watch this at all.

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Clash of the Champions #34
Date: January 21, 1997
Location: Wisconsin Center Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 6,800
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes, Bobby Heenan

This is another of the prime time specials from WCW and one of the last ones. The NWO is in full control here and this show means nothing for the most part as everything was about Nitro. Also we were more or less in a deep freeze because everything was building to Sting vs. Hogan which was in about 11 months. This is also the go home show for Souled Out. Let’s get to it.

After some yapping we’re ready to start.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Ultimo Dragon

Dragon is champion coming in here and Tenay is here for the sake of knowledge. Malenko has lost two in a row coming into this including one the previous night and the opener at Starrcade. The idiot that is known as Tony Schiavone keeps calling him Ultimate Dragon. They hit the mat and Dragon uses a bunch of spin moves to get out. They stay on the mat and we take a break.

The NWO now has its own hotline.

Back with them slugging it out. Dragon apparently lost the J-Crown at the January 4th show at the Tokyo Dome to Jushin Thunder Liger. This is a more hard hitting match than you’re used to with these two. Long vertical suplex gets two and it’s off to a head scissors on the mat. Dragon hammers away with kicks and Dean heads to the floor for a breather.

Half crab by Malenko and here comes Dean. Off to another leg lock and out to the floor. All Malenko here as he hooks on the figure four. Actually he doesn’t as Dragon blocks it for a bit. They speed things up a bit and it’s a spin wheel kick from Dragon to take Dean down. Dean grabs a superplex to take Dragon down and we speed it up even more. Powerbomb by Dean is reversed into a rana but we counter stuff even more.

Out to the floor and Dean is whipped into the railing. Asai Moonsault takes Dean down and the fans are into this to say the least. Back in and a top rope moonsault gets two for Dragon. Now all the fans turn and look at something else as Dragon gets a twisting rana off the top. Tiger suplex is reversed into a Cloverleaf attempt but that gets reversed. Another powerbomb is reversed into a butterfly powerbomb and a third Cloverleaf attempt. Down goes Onoo and the Cloverleaf ends this.

Rating: B+. Great stuff here as they were incredibly crisp with both guys working incredibly hard. The cruiserweight division was absolutely incredible at this point and Dean was at his absolute peak in 1997. Excellent match here with very little missing from it at all and an incredible opener. Bets on anything being good compared to this?

Mike Enos vs. Scotty Riggs

Neither gets an intro so what do you expect here? This is a very basic power vs. speed match and Riggs is here to look good before his match with Bagwell at the PPV. Both guys are incredibly generic and I see absolutely no reason for this to be here. A running forearm ends this for Riggs in about two minutes. Totally pointless match that gets no rating. Riggs says he’s the heart and soul of WCW. I can’t make this stuff up.

Here are the Horsemen, in this case Benoit and Anderson with some women. Oh and Mongo is there too. The fans of course want Flair. Benoit talks about how awesome he is and there’s a HUGE Benoit chant. Anderson says finish Sullivan tonight. Mongo (huge booing for the Bear here in Packer town). Debra says nothing of note at all.

Chavo Guerrero Jr/Chris Jericho/Super Calo vs. Konnan/La Parka/Mr. JL

Tenay and the other commentators say the Horsemen are having issues because Flair isn’t here. La Parka is replacing Psicosis who is injured and Jericho is replacing Juventud Guerrera who just no showed. This is under lucha rules, meaning if you hit the floor another member of your team can come in just like a tag. Chavo vs. JL to start with Jerry Lynn (what the JL stands for) destroying him.

Off to Konnan and Calo with Konnan continuing his team’s dominance. Calo was a guy I never liked or got the appeal of for the most part. We get some nice speed moves from those two with Calo looking kind of awesome actually. Off to Jericho and La Parka for awhile now and Parka is a bit nuts. Parka does a Spinarooni of all things but can’t keep Jericho down. Konnan comes in and it’s a Doomsday Device with La Parka throwing out a Whisper in the Wind instead of a clothesline. That was kind of awesome.

Konnan takes Jericho down and it’s off to Chavo. They are MOVING out there. Jericho vs. JL at the moment with Jericho taking over. Konnan comes in as does Chavo so there are four in the ring at once. Out to the floor and JL dives on Jericho. Chavo dives on JL and La Parka dives in general. Calo with a slingshot hilo to La Parka and in the ring JL gets a rana on Jericho for two. Jericho wants a superplex but settles for a super rana for the pin. Jericho looked like a star here.

Rating: B. Fun match here that was nothing but dives and speed. This is something you got in WCW that was great: they mixed up the styles every match almost. We’ve had a technical match, power vs. speed and now lucha libre. Not bad for 40 minutes. Jericho looked awesome here and of course would go on to mediocrity in WCW before becoming a legend in WWE.

Renegade/Joe Gomez vs. Harlem Heat

Guess what we’ve got here. Gomez is a guy that Is just kind of around while Renegade is the WCW version of Ultimate Warrior who hasn’t meant anything in about 18 months. Booker beats on Gomez for a bit and then Stevie and Sherri get to do the same. Axe kick to Gomez but Renegade comes in to get what passes for a hot tag. Harlem Heat destroys him and the Heat Seeker (Doomsday Device with a missile dropkick) ends him quickly. Just a squash.

Masahiro Chono vs. Alex Wright

Chono is NWO. He jumps Wright immediately but Wright charges back at him. Wright backflips off the top and gets an enziguri. Not in the same move mind you. He’s a dancer, not Spider-Morrison. The fans don’t really like either guy here. Wright can move and gets a leg lariat for about 9 but Nick Patrick won’t count with any speed at all.

Chono takes over again and throws Wright over the top which should be a DQ but isn’t here because Patrick doesn’t want to count. Sunset flip by Wright but the shoulder of Patrick hurts. Belly to back gets no cover and then Wright misses a cross body. Mafia Kick ends Wright pretty easily and the shoulder is fine of course.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here with the idea being that it was a preview of what the PPV is going to be like. The match itself means nothing of course but it wasn’t really supposed to. Wright again continues to mean nothing at all but being a midcard jobber to the stars. Weak match but it got the point across.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Scott Norton

Patrick is the referee again. Eddie is US Champion here but doesn’t have the physical belt as Syxx stole it. Norton chops away and uses basic power to take over. Eddie goes after the knee and gets Norton off his feet like a smart man. He chops away which just makes Norton mad. Norton is NWO if that clears anything up. Here comes the power game again as I can remember the majority of this show from watching it when it aired.

Norton does something I haven’t seen before as he sets him for a suplex and just drops him without moving at all. No cover though as Norton is wanting to show off here. Big powerbomb puts Guerrero down again but a clothesline misses Guerrero and down goes Patrick. DDP, currently the fastest rising star in forever comes through the crowd and drops Norton with the Diamond Cutter and gets a huge pop. Frog Splash makes Patrick count the three with a hilarious look on his face.

Rating: D+. Well they did a great job here of making it seem possible that WCW had a chance on Satruday at the PPV. Not much of a match but it wasn’t supposed to be. Eddie, like Jericho, looked great here but that wouldn’t matter as we needed guys like Buff Bagwell to get pushes and the TV time.

Giant talks about Hogan. He’s in the dark here almost and talks about how Hogan paid Giant to be on the sidelines and keep him from taking out Hogan because no one can stop the Giant. He strikes a match and says that Hogan is like this match. It gave light, it gave some warmth, but eventually it gets blown out. At Souled Out, Hogan is blown out. I’ve always liked this promo and it’s still pretty awesome today.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan

Woman is here with Chris and looks pretty good here. This is falls count anywhere again. Kevin wants to start it on the floor and Benoit says let’s do it. They had another of these at the Great American Bash the previous year and it was totally awesome. They’re in the crowd almost immediately and are in the back quickly.

The first room is the men’s room and Benoit knocks a towel dispenser off the way with his head. Benoit throws a trashcan that hits Hart and the referee. This is almost move for move the same match as their Great American Bash match. Sullivan gets a clothesline for two as we’re still in the men’s room. Now we’re talking about an Andy Griffith movie.

Back into the arena and Benoit is kicked down the steps. Seriously, this is the SAME MATCH. Back in the ring and Benoit is in the Tree of Woe for the running knee. Double stomp to Benoit gets two. Woman comes in and cracks Sullivan with a wooden chair to end Sullivan and give Benoit the win. Well at least the ending was different I suppose. Also they didn’t swerve us.

Rating: B-. Well yes it’s a good match but legitimately over half of the spots are identical to the one at the Bash. Also the Bash’s ending was better and it went on longer. It also helps that we got to see it for the first time back then. Sometimes you need to see a semi-shoot like this though as it makes things more interesting, as it did here.

Benoit hits him with a chair again post match.

Amazing French Canadians vs. Steiner Brothers

The French Canadians are the Quebecers. Colonel Parker is with them in a French Canadian soldier outfit I guess. They try the Canadian national anthem but get cut off by Steinerized. The Outsiders injured Scott in a form of attempted vehicular manslaughter and this is his return. The Outsiders pop up on the screen to laugh at them with Nash implying he’ll come out here.

Scott has a new look here which would eventually be what he wore as a heel. The Steiners clean house to start and hit top rope clotheslines almost at the same time. We take a break and come back with Rick in some trouble. The Canadians beat him down and try their Cannonball move but Rick gets out of the way just in time. The Canadians seem to not tag at all. Here’s Scotty who destroys them both on his own. A French flag shot fails and the elevated DDT ends Oulette with ease.

Rating: C-. Without the commercial we saw about 3 minutes here so why not rate it. Nothing worth note at all as it was again really just a squash to set up the Steiners against the Outsiders at the PPV. Scott would be about to get pushed to the moon as a solo guy and get a major push. Anyway, this was domination.

Scott Hall vs. Lex Luger

Main event time here and Hall has a small army with him. Luger has the kind of rare black boots on. Luger does the pec dance and gets a toothpick in his face for his troubles. All power by Luger to start and he no sells the fallaway slam. A middle rope bulldog puts Luger down for two though and Scott works on the arm. Chokeslam puts Luger down but he’s up quickly.

Some fan shouts about oozing machismo which makes me smile a bit. He hits the floor and the numbers (I only see the number Syxx but whatever) catch up with him so that Hall can take over. Syxx interferes again with Nash distracting the referee. The clothesline from Syxx gets two. Now the fallaway slam works a bit better, getting two this time.

Off to the abdominal stretch as Luger is in trouble. Luger gets out of it after about a minute but misses an elbow and here comes Hall again. Luger comes back again and hits a slingshot dropkick of all things and lets loose his rather limited offense. Atomic drops and punches and clotheslines OH MY! No sign for the Rack yet but there’s one after a powerslam. Nash breaks it up but Luger fights both of them off. Where is WCW? Is there a good Old Maid game going on in the back? Syxx finally gets a shot in and it’s a DQ.

Rating: C. Just a main event match here with an unsurprising finish. At least they gave them some time here and we got a decent match out of it. Luger probably should have gone over but I guess they wanted the Outsiders looking as strong as possible going into the PPV. Not bad, but just kind of there for a TV main event.

The Steiners come out for the save from the beatdown.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show here from a weaker period for WCW. There was some good stuff here but the bad is hard to overlook. The opener is great of course but there wasn’t much really good after that. The good outweighs the bad though and they build up Souled Out pretty well so I can live with this. Not bad but nothing great either.

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