Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #9: Second Classic In A Row

Clash of the Champions 9: New York Knockout
Date: November 15, 1989
Location: RPI Field House, Troy, New York
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Gordon Solie

Here we have a two match show: Flair vs. Funk II in an I Quit match and Pillman vs. Luger for the US Title. Luger was awesome in 89 and Funk was his crazy old self (yes he was old back then too). That being said, for a free TV show is there anything else you really need? In short, no. These old Clashes are usually very hit or miss but as almost always it was based on the card. This looks good so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Flair vs. Funk which is about pride and not the title.

Freebirds vs. Road Warriors

The Birds were world tag team champions here but had already lost the titles at a TV taping before this aired. This is non-title anyway so it doesn’t matter. Hayes vs. Hawk gets us going and Hayes gets too cocky which catches up with him. Yeah I’m stunned too. Off to Garvin and he gets his head taken off by a dropkick. Off to Animal and similar things happen. We’re more or less in a squash so far. Animal misses a charge and the champs double team him a bit. After about 90 seconds of that, Hawk comes in and tosses the referee and it’s a DQ. The fans boo that out of the building.

Rating: D. Wow this was pointless. Somehow everything I said in there too over five minutes. I have no idea what they were going for here, especially with the title change airing later in the week. Doesn’t this make the champs look weak going into their title defense? Either way, the Steiners would get the belts and hold them for a very long time so no one remembers this anyway.

Funk lists off various things that he and Flair disagree on. Gary Hart, Funk’s manager, says do it for Texas.

Time for a vote of who the most popular wrestler in the NWA is. Gee I wonder who it’s going to be. To the shock of no one with anything resembling knowledge about this era, it’s Sting. There’s another award for Wrestler of the Decade. This is actually voted on by the PWI Editors and all that jazz and allegedly Hogan lost a fair vote to Flair. I’ve heard multiple rumors that this was rigged and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was true.

Woman, the manager of Doom, shows off her cleavage and says Doom is awesome. She promises a surprise for Rick Steiner later tonight.

Doom vs. Eddie Gilbert/Tommy Rich

Doom is Ron Simmons/Butch Reed in masks. They would take the titles from the Steiners in the summer of 1990. Gilbert tries an O’Connor Roll and can’t even get one. The Tennessee guys work on Ron’s arm and it’s off to Reed now. I think Rich/Gilbert are faces here. After a brief control segment by them, Doom realizes they’re a real team and not a pair of thrown together guys and starts taking over. This is one of those matches that needs to be a lot shorter. What is supposed to be a hot tag to Rich and everything breaks down, allowing a middle rope modified Hart Attack to pin Rich.

Rating: D. This was another bad match. Doom would get a lot better but they needed better opponents at this point. Rich would join the York Foundation in like a year which would be his last grasp at anything of note. This was nothing though and Doom would get a lot better rather soon.

Time for Jim Cornette’s talk show segment with his guests the Steiners. This is important for one thing: Scotty has been using a move and Cornette wants a name for it. Rick talks about watching a movie the other day and he came up with a name for it, and for the first time ever we hear the name Frankensteiner. They talk about their match later and Doom for a bit but this was all about naming the move. They make fun of Woman a bit also.

Midnight Express vs. Dynamic Dudes

The Dudes are Shane Douglas and Johnny Ace Laurinits (Yes the one from Raw) as skateborders that are straight out of the 80s. Both teams have Cornette as their manager so he’s in a neutral corner. Basically he was starting to manage the Dudes but was still under contract with the Express and they signed the match without him, putting Cornette right in the middle.

It’s the Lane/Eaton version and they try to convince Corny to come to their corner but he turns them down again. Douglas vs. Eaton to get us going. Is there a tag team fetish tonight? They fight over the arm to start and it’s off to Lane quickly. Shane works on his arm as well and we’re in a technical match to start us off. In something you’ll almost never see, Cornette calls out Stan Lane on his hair pulling. This is surreal to watch.

Ace comes in and the idea of seeing the current version of him in trunks is very wrong. In a NICE touch and a fine example of the difference between today’s announcing and the old version of it, Solie is going over the upcoming house show schedule but says they’ll get to that in a minute because he doesn’t want to miss this action. We go to a headlock and they go over the rest of the schedule. See now, WAS THAT SO HARD??? It took about 30 more seconds and the wrestling gets played up stronger as well as the announcements getting more focus. Everything wins.

Shane avoids a superplex from Bobby and gets a rollup for two. Off to Ace and he’s just not that good. Lane takes him down and the Express takes over to a big pop. The Rocket Launcher gets knees and everything breaks down. With Shane getting a chain from somewhere, Jim comes in to grab it after it fell on the floor. He turns on the Dudes though, getting the crowd way into it and Eaton steals the pin as the Express is back together.

Rating: C. Not a bad little tag match here and the idea is that it burned off two angles: the Dudes being the new team of Cornette and the Express getting back together for their one final run. Nothing great here and the dudes weren’t all that good but this was ok and the fans were way into it so that’s all that matters.

Super Destroyer vs. Steve Williams

Destroyer is Jack Victory in a mask. Destroyer jumps Williams early and here’s Norman the Lunatic (Bastian Booger) as Santa Claus. Williams takes over quickly and gorilla presses him with multiple reps and then a clothesline to the floor. Back in the Oklahoma Stampede (powerslam) ends this. Total squash.

Norman gives Doc (Williams) a teddy bear afterwards and Norman gets a hug. Cute.

Steiner Brothers vs. Skyscrapers

It’s Sid and Dan Spivey. Rick vs. Spivey to get us going and Rick is like HAVE A GERMAN BOY. Back in Spivey hits a tombstone (keep that in mind) for two as Scott saves. Everything breaks down and Scott comes in with a Frankensteiner to Spivey and a fallaway slam to Sid. The fallaway slam was botched and Sid would be out for months with an injured lung. His replacement on the team was a guy from Memphis. He hung around for a year and then would leave for the WWF where he would wear a trenchcoat and come out to funeral music.

The tall dudes aren’t sure who is legal at the moment so it’s Sid vs. Scott now. Off to Spivey who beats Scott down for a bit until the Steiner Brothers remember that they’re the Steiner Brothers and beat down the tall dudes like they’re nothing. Hot tag brings in Rick, although I’d question how hot a tag can be in a five minute match. Doom runs in and it’s a DQ. During this, two things happen. First of all, Simmons runs in and immediately Scott snaps off a picture perfect Frankensteiner to send him outside. I’ll get to the second thing in a minute.

Rating: C-. This could only be so good as the Steiners were untouchable around this time and would take the tag titles that rightfully belonged to them in about three days. The tag division was awesome at this point and would keep getting better, namely because the Steiners were totally awesome.

The Road Warriors run out to even the odds and the fans ERUPT. A big brawl takes us to a commercial.

Post break the two good teams talk about the Iron Man Tournament, which was a round robin tournament held at Starrcade between three of these four teams. The Skyscrapers were out so the Samoan Swat Team took their place. The tournament wound up sucking and the Road Warriors won. It did however contain one of the two (the other being in 96 on Nitro) meetings between the Road Warriors and the Steiners which could have main evented a PPV. They all cut promos but for some reason the New York Knockout logo is on the screen instead of them.

Oh yeah the other thing that happened: Woman’s bodyguard Nitron debuted and did very little. He later played Sabretooth in the X-Men trilogy.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Brian Pillman

Lex is a heel here but he’s having such awesome matches and is so scary as an athlete that he’s getting over as a face despite being heel recently. We talk about the singles Iron Man tournament which has Sting, Luger, Flair and Muta. Things start off very fast and Pillman fires off some dropkicks and Lex heads out to cool his head. This is a rematch from Halloween Havoc where Luger had to cheat to keep the belt. Back in and Luger can’t get anything going as Pillman has everything planned out.

A missile dropkick gets two for Brian. Out to the floor and Lex goes into the post as this has been all Pillman. More chops put Luger down and back inside we go. The champ FINALLY gets something going with a belly to back and momentum shifts. Lex is in his zone now and he sends Pillman out to the floor. He starts working on the back with a slam on the floor and a suplex back in for two. See how easy psychology can be?

Powerslam puts Pillman down but after Lex poses too much Pillman grabs a rollup for two. Things speed up a bit and Brian hits a clothesline to put Lex down. Top rope cross body, Pillman’s finisher, takes Lex down but the referee went down as well. Pillman hammers away even more but Lex cracks him in the head with a chair and since all referees are deaf and blind, it’s enough for the pin for Lex to retain and draw a bunch of booing.

Rating: B. Good match here as both guys worked hard out there. Pillman looked great at first and it’s a nice ending as Lex has to cheat to win. That’s the right idea at times and I think it works pretty well here. Lex would lose the tournament in the last match to Sting but would keep the US Title for about 11 more months.

Luger beats him down post match until Sting comes out for the save. Luger wants a showdown and Sting is all like BRING IT ON but Lex is scared of Sting in dress pants (and to be fair it’s a weird look on him) so he bails. Sting chases after him and gets in a single punch but Lex runs more. They wouldn’t have their big showdown for about 15 months with Sting winning the title at SuperBrawl II.

Flair talks about how he’s going to still be champion after tonight and this company is great. Tonight it’s an I Quit match and for two legends like them, that’s humiliating and the end. The loser has to retire and to Funk’s credit, when he loses here he did in fact retire for the rest of the year and didn’t wrestle in WCW until 1994. He wrestled in ECW a lot and in Japan some, but I guess that’s a good result for a Funk retirement.

Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair

I Quit match remember. This is non-title but Flair has said he’ll forfeit the title if he loses. Funk has Gary Hart with him and offers him a chance to walk out before the bell. Funk is sent to the floor and is all mad. I mean more than usual that is. Flair whips him around a bit and we head out to the floor with Ric hammering away. Into the ring again and they hit the mat for a bit.

They almost go onto the announce table and are fighting on the apron now. Flair chops him but falls down as Funk is still standing. We head back to the floor and it’s all Funk. He pounds away back in the ring in the corner and says to Flair to say it but Flair grabs an atomic drop to take over again. Funk slaps Flair so Flair chokes him. They’re back on the floor again and Flair pounds him into the crowd.

Back inside now and Flair demands that Funk say I Quit. Funk gets in a shot and a swinging neckbreaker as he yells about the attack (Funk piledrove him onto a table to start the feud) and his bad neck. Piledriver still doesn’t get a yes. Another one on the floor hits and Flair is practically dead. This is a nice touch as Funk is the crazy brawler and Flair is in WAY over his head. Funk sets up a table (back when that’s a HUGE deal) but Flair fights back with hard chops.

Ric is all fired up and Funk staggers around like there’s something wrong with his inner mind. He gets crotched on the railing and the little Funkers aren’t happy. Funk’s selling is really quite good. Now it’s time for the knee and the fans cheer. Flair was indeed popular back in the day. This is fired up Flair, almost like you would see in the Vader match about four years later.

Funk tries to leave up the aisle and Flair tackles him from behind and is all like “you wanted this and now you’re getting it.” In something you won’t see that often, Flair suplexes Funk over the top and onto the apron. There’s the Figure Four and after fighting as long as he can, Funk actually says he quits and it’s over.

Rating: A-. Not much to complain about here as the transformation from wrestler to fighter/crazy man by Flair was a great sight to see. Once he got going, Funk was trying to survive instead of win which was a very cool thing to see. This match worked and is well worth seeing, if nothing else for the storytelling in it. And to see Funk quit, which you’ll likely never see again.

Flair demands a handshake and gets one but Gary Hart, Funk’s manager, jumps him and Muta/Dragonmaster run in for a double beatdown. Here’s Sting (who never put his shirt back on I guess) for the save. Sting puts Hart in the Scorpion and Flair puts Muta in the Figure Four. Luger comes out and hits everyone with a chair to set up the big beatdown. Well every face that is. Luger breaks the trophies (which were in the middle of nowhere next to each other) to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Keep in mind that this was a free TV show. You had to very good matches and the rest of the show certainly isn’t bad. It’s just kind of there. For a free show though and a TV special, this is something that I’m totally fine with. It set up Starrcade (where there were literally no non-tournament matches) well even though the show sucked and it blew of Funk vs. Flair and turned Funk face. Good stuff and one of the best Clashes.

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Monday Night Raw – February 6, 2012 – Truth Go Boom

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 6, 2012
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the second of the three Raws between the Rumble and the Chamber. Last week’s show was pretty awesome with the return of Undertaker to apparently challenge HHH. Also it appears that HHH is back in charge instead of Johnny Ace which should at least be interesting. We should get some more matches for the PPV tonight too. Let’s get to it.

We open with a gong. Oh wait it’s just a recap from last week with Taker returning and seeming challenging HHH.

6 Pack Challenge tonight with the winner entering the Chamber last. Also Show vs. Bryan.

Here’s HHH to open things up. He says he was here last week to fire Johnny Ace. He wasn’t here to wish him well, but rather well in all of his future endeavors. However he never got that far. Ace being called a man is an exaggeration as he’s more of a weasel. Apparently Ace flew to Stamford to plead for another chance and HHH has to wait on the proposal. The decision should be in by tomorrow morning.

However he’s not here for that, but rather to talk about the return of the Undertaker. He talks about hearing the gong go off and it still gives him chills. Taker is the only person that humbles HHH when they’re in the ring together. Last week though, HHH didn’t feel humble or anything like that. He felt sorry for the Undertaker. He knows what he did to Undertaker last year and he chooses to remember the Undertaker in a certain way.

HHH plays a highlight reel of Taker’s career and I think this is all from Wrestlemania. That’s how HHH wants to remember him, not like this, which brings up a video of Taker not being able to stand after last year’s match. Due to that, the challenge for Wrestlemania is declined. If they have to do it again, HHH will have to finish it. He respects Taker too much and this is over.

HHH goes to leave and his music cuts off. There go the lights and a video from the match last year plays. Taker is somewhere and says it’s not over. The victory last year means nothing and he wants what belongs to him. So it’s Shawn’s storyline from two years ago with Taker in Shawn’s place?

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

AJ comes out with Bryan in a neckbrace. Show takes him straight to the corner and the power begins. He throws Bryan around a lot until Bryan gets in a kick to the knee and we take a break. Back with Bryan’s half crab being broken as Big Show powers him around. Spear gets two. Show loads up the chokeslam but Bryan counters into a guillotine choke. Bryan gets in a shot to the leg and goes up but Show kicks him to the floor. Now Bryan is holding his knee but he was goldbricking. Show charges at Bryan but almost crushes AJ again. Bryan takes AJ to the back and loses by countout at 7:32.

Rating: D+. These two just do not work well against each other at all. Show is good against someone like Henry. The problem is that Bryan is not Henry and can’t have a ton of convincing offense against the Big Show. That makes the matches quite boring so what’s the point of watching them fight, especially when Bryan loses almost every time?

Bryan says Show tried to run her over on purpose and she’s more important than the title. On Sunday (the PPV is in two weeks), he’ll still be Bryan, a vegan and the champion.

Carl Edwards, a NASCAR driver drove his car into the arena last week and met with Cena. Cena will be the official starter for the Daytona 500.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Here’s Otunga in the ring and he has something to say. He praises Ace and wants the Board of Directors to keep Ace on the job. Otunga asks for us to join him in prayer and he Tebows. We get an announcement from HHH that right now, Otunga has a match.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Otunga is in his suit, sweater and bowtie. Sheamus immediately loads up the Celtic Cross but Otunga escapes, losing the sweater in the process. A double ax takes him down and there are the ten forearms. The shirt is torn now as well. Otunga holds onto the top rope and grabs a DDT to take over. He stomps away and chokes a little bit but Sheamus is all ticked off. Brogue Kick ends this in 2:04.

Here’s Jericho who says the end of the world is here. He’s here to end the lying, the plagiarism and all that jazz. Everyone who is in this ring is a Chris Jericho wannabe. The fans are all wannabes too. He got all of the fans to believe whatever he wanted. Jericho admits he trolled all of them. Miz scowling in a suit is a Jericho thing. Kofi flying around is a Jericho thing. Dolph walking to the ring with Vickie is a Jericho thing because he walked to the ring with Stephanie. O……..k?

Then we have CM Punk. Punk says he’s the best in the world but in reality he’s a Chris Jericho wannabe and he knows deep down inside that Jericho is the best in the world. He doesn’t have to write it on the back of a t-shirt but he knows it. Jericho is back to claim what is his and that means the end of the world of CM Punk. Here’s Punk who comes in with a mic and drops it. Instead he holds up the title then turns his back on Jericho. Jericho looks like he’s pulling his arm back to hit Punk but doesn’t and the champ leaves. Jericho yells about wanting Punk to say something but Punk keeps walking.

Randy Orton/Great Khali vs. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes

Orton and Barrett start but it’s quickly off to Khali with the chops. He chops Orton HARD for the tag back in. Off to Rhodes and we’re in an 80s style kick and punch match. Orton hits the elevated DDT and Khali tags himself back in. They get in an argument but Khali chops Rhodes out of the air during a Beautiful Disaster attempt for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D-. This match happened. That’s about all I’ve got for it. I get that it’s supposed to push the idea of distension and everything but that doesn’t mean that it’s a good match. Khali was supposed to be dominant and while it kind of worked, the execution of it came off as horrible.

Khali tries to chop Orton post match but takes the RKO instead.

Now we hear about a Twitter argument between Rock and Cena. Now we see the Cena video AGAIN.

Tamina/Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Bella Twins

We get an inset promo from Beth who talks about how she’s unbeatable. She starts with Eve and the beating begins. Off to a Bella who is chopped in the chest to bring her in. She walks into a Samoan Drop from Tamina and the Superfly Splash ends this in 1:33.

HHH is in the back when Ace comes up. Ace is all smiley and says he’s still the interim GM. He met with the Board earlier today and they’re very nice people. He’ll accept whatever decision they make. Shawn is going to be here next week. Also it’s officially Cena vs. Kane in an ambulance match. Speaking of ambulances, HHH says Ace’s career is on a flatline. If Ace doesn’t leave right now, he’ll be flatlined.

The decision on Ace will be announced tomorrow morning at 10AM.

We get the same video from earlier with Taker’s voiceover.

Ace says he thinks the Board is looking for someone honest rather than someone who is a brute.

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

This is one fall to a finish and the winner gets to be #6 in the Chamber. Roberts fumbles over the rules before the match starts. Everyone is in the ring at once so I’m not going to try to keep up with what’s going on. Jericho heads to the floor which is a smart move. Other than him, everyone but Ziggler and Kofi go to the floor. Truth TOTALLY misses a dive and crashes to the floor on his back.

Ziggler teases a dive but stops to strut. Punk clotheslines him down for two as we take a break. Back and Truth is carried out. Jericho and Kofi are on the floor and Kofi is down. Punk hits a combination neckbreaker/DDT on both heels but it only gets two on Miz. The Vice goes on both guys but Kofi makes the save. It’s down to Punk vs. Jericho but Miz and Dolph come back in.

Jericho and Miz clothesline each other down as this match is going VERY slowly. Punk goes up for a superplex on Dolph but it winds up being a Tower of Doom. Miz covers Punk as Jericho covers Dolph so the referee counts both, getting two both times. Miz tries for the Finale on Jericho but Kofi comes in with Trouble in Paradise to Miz, sending him to the floor. Middle rope missile dropkick takes Kofi down and it’s off to a chinlock.

Jericho misses the Lionsault and blocks Trouble in Paradise. There are the Walls for Kofi but Punk comes back in with a knee to the back of Jericho’s head. Chris is sent to the floor and Ziggler tries a rollup, getting two. GTS takes Ziggler down but Jericho breaks it up, sending Punk onto the table. Jericho slides in and steals the pin on Ziggler at 12:25.

Rating: C+. The problem with this show is based in this match. The problem is that with so many people being in this match, there’s nothing else to get us through the rest of the show. This was decent but once Truth was gone, the crowd was basically dead for the rest of the time. It’s not bad but it’s nothing great.

Jericho sits like Punk in the ring.

We hear screaming and Eve is being yelled at by Kane. He says he has to do something because of the hate. Cena is starting to embrace the hate and when he finally does it fully, he’ll be in a better place. Until then though, Kane is afraid for Eve and Cena. More than that though, he’s afraid of himself. Ok then.

Overall Rating: C+. This was much more about storytelling and moving things forward towards the Chamber and then on to Mania. It wasn’t as good as last week’s, but we got a lot done tonight which needed to happen. There’s plenty of time before Mania, so it was good to get some of this out of the way. The problem with the main event as I said though is that it gives us nothing but Smackdown matches before then, which is ok but it still gets a little boring. Good show but not great.

Results
Big Show b. Daniel Bryan via countout
Sheamus b. David Otunga – Brogue Kick
Great Khali/Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett – Chop to Rhodes
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina/Alicia Fox b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Bella Twins – Superfly Splash to Brie Bella
Chris Jericho b. CM Punk, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, The Miz and R-Truth – Jericho pinned Ziggler after a GTS from Punk

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Halloween Havoc 1989 – More Average Than Scary

Halloween Havoc 1989
Date: October 28, 1989
Location: Philadelphia Civic Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 7,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

Back for three more WCW shows, this time all from the earlier days, as in 1989 and 1990. This was a good year for the NWA but this show is more about furthering/ending already existing feuds. The main event is a tag team cage match with Sting/Flair vs. Funk/Muta which should be good. Other than that there isn’t much to mention so let’s get to it.

Mike Rotunda vs. Z-Man

There’s no intro and we’re immediately at the intros. This is the full version too as it’s from WWE 24/7. There’s music playing during the match for no apparent reason. Oh good it stopped. They fight for a headlock to start and Z-Man takes over quickly. He knocks Rotunda to the floor and the stalling begins. The fans are all over Rotunda for being from Syracuse. Remember that we’re in Philly here so they’re going to be crazy.

Rotunda gets back in and is immediately dropkicked back out. This time he cheats to take over which hardly ever fails. Now it’s Z-Man being sent to the floor but he gets a sunset flip for two coming back in. Mike hits the floor again and this is getting boring quickly. Z-Man works the arm and takes him down with an armdrag into the armbar. Jericho must have studied this match.

Z-Man hooks a chinlock but Rotunda sends him out to the floor and rams him into the barricade. Rotunda stalls back in as the fans keep up the Syracuse Sucks chant. A suplex brings Z-Man back in for a delayed two. There’s an abdominal stretch which is one of Rotunda’s signature moves, as is grabbing the ropes. Now it’s a chinlock by Rotunda but it doesn’t last long. Clothesline puts Z-Man down but he comes back with a dropkick. Z-Man sends him into the corner and Rotunda comes out with Christian’s spinning cross body which is rolled through for the pin for Z-Man.

Rating: C. Not a great match or anything but it was fine for an opener. The clipped version of this is down to like four minutes so you can really get an idea of what you were getting when you bought a home video from the NWA. Z-Man would hook up with I think Brian Pillman soon after this to become US Tag Champions and would also pick up the TV Title over the next year or so. Rotunda was repackaged as a sailor or something soon after this.

Bruno Sammartino, the guest referee for the main event, says this will be something difficult and unique.

Samoan Swat Team vs. Midnight Express/Steve Williams

The Samoans are Samu, Fatu (the Headshrinkers) and Samoan Savage, more famous as Tama. It spills to the floor before much contact is made and we get a staredown like West Side Story. Now they stare at each other in the ring. Ok so it’s Lane vs. Savage to start us off. Savage is the only Samoan not in white so that helps. He gets knocked to the floor where Bobby hits him and it’s ANOTHER staredown on the floor.

Off to Bobby who works on the arm. Here’s Samu and Bobby beats up the Headshrinkers. Guess what’s next? You guessed it: a six man staredown. Samu chops Lane down and we’re actually told how the Samoans are related: they’re brothers. That’s helpful as if you’re smart enough to be able to remember that family tree, you deserve an honorary degree from the university of your choice.

Dr. Death clears the ring and we reset things a bit. JR plugs Starrcade which was awful. It was a round robin tournament instead of a traditional show and it failed completely. Doc (Tor Death) runs over the Samoans and JR talks about football. Fatu comes in and it’s Bobby to work on his arm. Lane comes in and fires off his kicks but gets kicked down by Samu who is a lot more athletic than he looks.

Back to Williams who runs over more people then continues the chain of tags with one to Eaton. The Samoans come in and ram their heads into Eaton as this match is getting very long. They take him to the floor and crotch Bobby on the railing. Back in a sunset flip gets two for Bobby. Savage hooks a nerve hold and things slow down a lot. The Samoan manager, Oliver Humperdink, has some FREAKY eyes.

Bobby tries to ram some Samoan heads together and they’re like boy please. A headbutt puts Eaton down again as he’s in big trouble. Lane comes in without a tag which just makes more trouble for Eaton. Fatu hits a sideslam and it’s the nerve hold again. Eaton escapes and literally falls into the corner for the hot tag to Williams. Williams throws the Samoans around like Giant throws around cruiserweights. Everything breaks down and Lane puts I think Samu down with a superkick. Cornette gets up on the apron and Lane is rammed into him which allows Savage to steal the pin.

Rating: C+. It’s ok but did this really need 18 minutes? The Samoans were a pretty awful team at this point but as faces in the WWF they got way better. The Midnights would turn in about a month as they ended their annoying feud with the Dynamic Dudes and annoyed the Steiners for a few more months as well as winning the US Tag Titles.

Gary Hart says Terry Funk and Muta will be ready. They’re the J-Tex Corporation and whoever J is will be there tonight.

Tommy Rich vs. Cuban Assassin

Rich is allegedly on the comeback trail. JR basically says he’s nothing which makes me wonder why I’d want to watch this. Nothing to talk about so I check my e-mail to kill some time. Rich hooks the arm and the fans chant boring. Assassin comes back with jobber offense but misses an elbow so it’s back to the arm. We talk about how the cage tonight is electrified which is far more interesting than what’s going on in the ring.

Rich headbutts him which does nothing at all so Assassin high knees him to the floor where he stomps on the head. This is going nowhere. Remember that this is in Philadelphia so imagine how the fans are reacting here. Assassin goes up and gets crotched. Rich FINALLY ends this after about 8 hours with a Thesz Press.

Rating: F. I’m often asked what the worst kind of shows to watch are and this is a fine example of it: the boring kind. There was no reason for this match to exist, NO ONE was interested in it, and they weren’t even trying to do anything interesting. They were laying around for most of the 9 minutes or so that this was on and using as basic of an offense as possible. There’s no need for this and it cripples anything good the show had going for it.

The Freebirds say they’re great and that’s about it.

Tag Titles: Fabulous Freebirds vs. Dynamic Dudes

The Dudes are Johnny Ace (yes, THAT Johnny Ace) and Shane Douglas on skateboards. The Birds are champs but for some reason Hayes doesn’t have his belt with him. The Dudes have Cornette with them. This is Philadelphia, so of course the fans are confusing. The Dudes are the faces but the fans hate them while the Birds are the heels but worshiped for their showmanship.

It’s a long feeling out process to start with even more stalling as Hayes starts with Douglas. A bad neckbreaker puts Hayes down and Shane gets booed out of the building. Double tag brings in Johnny to face Garvin. Ace is huge so he’s kind of awkward at the fast paced style. Garvin takes over with an armbar and it’s off to Hayes vs. Shane again. The Dudes work over Hayes’ arm before clearing the ring via a double dropkick (not really as Ace’s missed by about 8 inches) but they were trying at least.

The Birds are cheered even more as Ace takes Hayes down at will. The fans cheer for the DDT, which is the finisher of both Birds. Ace sends Garvin to the floor again and the match comes to another halt. Ace tries a rollup but gets kicked off into a BIG right hand by Hayes with an even louder pop. Garvin kicks/knees Ace in the head to the floor and the fans erupt again. This is just strange.

Out on the floor Hayes clocks Ace and the Birds are in total control. Ace gets in some right hands to kill the crowd. Hayes hits a running clothesline in the corner and starts playing face for the crowd. The DDT doesn’t work and there’s the tag to Shane. A double knee sends Hayes out and the Dudes set for their finisher, which is a double team slingshot belly to back suplex. Hayes hooks the foot though so Garvin can fall on Ace for the pin.

Rating: D. You know how Ace is always made fun of for his in ring career? There’s a reason for that: he simply isn’t that good. I haven’t seen much of his Japanese stuff so I can’t comment on it, but if it’s at the same level as his American stuff, there’s nothing to see in it. The crowd here was really strange as Shane Douglas isn’t someone you often hear booed in Philly, but he certainly was here. Bad match too.

The Steiners say they don’t need strategy against the new team of Doom. Rick is still crazy at this point.

Steiner Brothers vs. Doom

Doom is still in masks here and the Steiners throw them to the floor very quickly. Woman brought in Doom to fight the Steiners because she turned all evil and devilish. Scott clotheslines I think Simmons down and drops a knee for two. Doom bails to the floor again as the Steiners keep control. Off to Rick who takes Simmons (I’m guessing on these guys by the way) with a chinlock. Ross summarizes Rick in one statement. Rick has a new bulldog tattoo on his arm. JR: “Why didn’t you get a wolverine tattoo Rick?” Rick: “Because I wanted a dog.”

Scott comes in with a middle rope clothesline for two. This has been totally one sided so far. Simmons gets in what we would call a Stunner and it’s off to Reed. Back to Rick who gets beaten down for a few seconds but a knee lift is enough to bring in Scott. A quick gordbuster gets two for Scott and it’s off to Simmons again. This is Doom’s debut by the way. Simmons charges at him so Scott snaps behind him and kills Simmons with a German that would make Kurt Angle jealous.

Reed pops Scott in the head to slow him down and a double ax puts Scott down. Doom double teams a lot with stuff like a double elbow. Off to a chinlock by let’s say Simmons. Rick has finally had enough and tries to come in but that just lets Doom throw Scott out. Back in a sunset flip gets two for the Big Bad Booty Daddy. Neckbreaker gets two for Reed and he’s getting frustrated.

Simmons comes back in with a powerslam for two. Scott’s beating continues and a spike piledriver gets two so it’s back to the chinlock by let’s say Reed. Scott fights up and gets an elbow to bring in Rick. House is cleared and Scott is back up almost immediately with a Frankensteiner to I think Simmons. Woman gets up on the apron and in the distraction, she loads up Reed’s mask with something. A headbutt with that is enough for the pin on Rick and the huge upset.

Rating: D+. A boring match, but Doom wasn’t anything good yet. They would get MUCH better over the next few months and would go on to beat the Steiners for the world tag team titles, which would go on to be the longest reign in the history of the titles. There’s your trivia for the day. Bad match though, which is an odd result when you look at it on paper.

Luger says this is a big match and he’ll win.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Brian Pillman

This is in the middle of Luger’s huge title reign while Pillman is the young fireball that no one can keep up with. They go to the corner to start and Lex looks irritated. Lex tries to keep things slow and throws Pillman to the floor. Brian comes back in with a slingshot clothesline and knocks Luger to the floor with a dropkick. Baseball slide takes Luger down and as they come back in, Air Pillman is teased but Lex heads to the floor.

Lex gets in some kicks to take over but Pillman comes off the top with a spinning cross body. Off to the arm and Pillman has a small advantage. Lex tries to power out of it but Brian takes him right back down with the armdrag. Luger is clearly getting frustrated here so he comes back with more power striking. Crucifix gets two for Pillman and it’s back to the arm. The idea of it isn’t to get a submission but rather to frustrate the champion which is working here.

Brian goes up but misses his splash attempt and Lex takes over again. He’s all fired up and yells at the fans who seem to like him as much as Pillman. A clothesline to the back of the head puts Pillman down and Lex is all fired up. Suplex gets two and Brian is thrown to the floor. Luger brags too much and walks into a sunset flip for two. A big clothesline puts Lex over the top and out to the floor as Brian makes his comeback.

There are ten punches in the corner and an atomic drop to boot. A top rope sunset flip gets two. Pillman hits a jumping back elbow and Luger is in trouble. Air Pillman, the springboard clothesline gets two as Luger got knocked into the ropes. All Pillman at the moment but he misses a missile dropkick and both guys are down. Pillman tries to speed things up but walks into a Hot Shot for the pin and Luger retains.

Rating: B. Luger wasn’t the guy you wanted running a match, but if you give him the right guy to work with such as Pillman here, look out because you’re likely to get a great match. Pillman’s flurry at the end was great but he went too fast and tried to do too much and the more experienced champion caught him. That’s a nice little story and it worked well here, giving you a great match.

The Road Warriors say they like being the underdogs. When were the Road Warriors EVER underdogs? They say they’ll tear down the Skyscrapers tonight.

Road Warriors vs. Skyscrapers

The Skyscrapers are Sid Vicious and Dan Spivey. They’re the Brothers of Destruction of their day and literally tower over the Road Warriors. The Warriors quickly clear the ring and it’s Animal vs. Spivey at the moment. The Skyscrapers are the favorites here because they’re undefeated. I’m not sure I’d buy that but whatever. Off to Hawk and they collide to no advantage.

Hawk ducks a Sid clothesline and hits one of his own which knocks Sid to his knees, shocking the taller one. Sid misses a shoulder block and Hawk tags in Animal. Expect a lot of the words “And no one moves”, because selling isn’t much of an option here. Animal powerslams Sid and he rolls to the floor. Hawk and Sid have a test of strength and Hawk goes down but channels his inner Hulk to fight up.

Hawk busts out a freaking monkey flip and a clothesline which doesn’t take Sid down. Off to Animal vs. Spivey and Animal knocks him around a bit. Spivey knocks him into the corner and it’s off to Sid vs. Hawk. Hawk takes him to the mat but Sid NIPS UP and clotheslines Hawk (in the ribs) to the mat again. Sid hits what we would call the Eye of the Storm for two.

Back to Spivey and the move of the match, the clothesline, takes him down again. Spivey shrugs it off and hits a suplex for two. The guys are all gassed now and it’s really obvious. Hawk reverses a suplex into one of his own but still can’t make the tag. We get the unseen tag to Animal and the beating on Hawk continues. Bird Boy gets a boot and a clothesline (of course) to bring in Animal and everything breaks down. Teddy brings in the metal key for Spivey to hit Animal for the DQ. The key is some thing that was related to Norman the Lunatic but wasn’t quite ever explained I don’t think.

Rating: D+. The match sucked but the idea here was that it was fun. This was a big clash of the titans and that’s all it needed to be. They pounded on each other and barely sold a thing, but do you really need to? Sometimes just a battle of the titans is all you need and that’s what you got here. Bad match, but very fun. Then again I’m an old LOD fan so this is a sweet spot for me.

The LOD clears the ring post match.

Ole Anderson says he’ll never throw in the towel, which is the only way to lose the main event. Flair and Sting say just about what you would expect them to say.

Sting/Ric Flair vs. Great Muta/Terry Funk

This is the Thunderdome Cage Match. It’s an electrified cage and Bruno Sammartino is refereeing. You know he gets a big pop in the northeast. This is a combination of two feuds: Sting vs. Muta and Flair vs. Funk. The latter was the top feud of the summer with the former just a step behind. When it’s likely that Sting is the worst wrestler in a match, you know you’ve got some talent in the ring. You win by having your opponent’s team throwing in a towel and it’s Ole Anderson and Gary Hart as the towel bearers.

This isn’t a regular cage but rather a Cell type one. There’s no roof but it slants in and that’s the electrified part so no one is getting in or out. Funk tries to escape because he’s a little nuts. Something catches on fire so Muta spits Green Mist to put it out. Ok so it’s Flair vs. Funk to get us going. Flair chops away and Funk is in trouble early. Everyone comes in and Muta goes after Bruno which doesn’t work at all.

Flair throws Funk to the floor which isn’t a DQ because it’s a cage of course. Off to Sting who takes it to the space between the ring and the cage. Back to the Flair who slams Funk down and rolls forward, slapping Muta in the process. Awesome. Sting comes in with a perfect dropkick and the announcers blast Ultimate Warrior (Sting’s old partner). Off to Muta who is thrown back into Funk with ease. Muta is undefeated and I think TV Champion at this point. JR’s next sentence: “Suplex by Sting on the undefeated television champion of the world.” Thanks JR.

Sting and Flair have dominated so far. Everything breaks down and they head out to the floor. Muta and Sting wind up in the ring with the Great One taking over for the first time. Funk stomps on Sting outside and I think the tagging part is gone. Muta and Funk double team Sting in the ring with a bunch of elbow drops but Flair comes back in for the save. Muta misses a high kick and Sting bulldogs him down.

Funk takes one as well and Flair is standing on the apron again. He comes in to break up a double team though and climbs the cage with Funk. Sting suplexes Muta and now everyone but Funk is climbing. Muta goes up high enough that his feet are above the top rope. He might have gotten electrocuted also. Flair chops Funk so hard that Funk starts climbing the cage.

Flair chases Funk and in a SCARY spot, Funk is hanging from the top of the cage while Flair chops him. Funk’s knee is caught in the cage as Sting slams Muta. Everyone but Funk is back in the ring now and Muta is tossed out. Muta goes under the ring as Funk climbs up again. Sting goes after him as Flair puts the Figure Four on Muta. Is there any need for Bruno in this match?

For no apparent reason, Flair lets the hold go. There was no Funk or anything anywhere near him and he just let it go. Muta gets a HARD kick to Flair as Sting swings on a rope like Tarzan but crotches himself in the process. Muta hooks a modified Indian Deathlock on Flair and hooks a bridging neck crank at the same time. Funk tied Sting to the cage and goes in to spike piledrive Flair.

Sting finally gets loose, climbs even high and DIVES onto Funk. He would have been three feet above the top rope for that. Muta climbs up and Funk has a bad leg. You can feel Flair smiling from here. There’s the knee crusher as Sting goes after Muta. Muta goes for the moonsault but Sting crotches him. Figure Four to Funk and Sting splashes him from the top. There’s a second splash and Bruno clocks Muta. Ole punches Hart which sends the towel flying and that’s good enough for Bruno to call for the bell.

Rating: B. It’s good but it’s definitely not a classic. With Muta and Funk climbing the cage for absolutely no apparent reason and having no point for Bruno being in there, it’s kind of a puzzling match. It’s not bad but at the end of the day, there’s not much of a point to a lot of this. Fun match and it gets awesome at times, but it’s not something worth going out of your way to see.

JR and Caudle wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C. That’s exactly what you call this show: average. It’s not a bad show but there’s absolutely nothing on it worth seeing. Pillman and Luger have a good match but they would both have better ones. 1989 was a good year, but it ran out of steam after a great Clash in September. This and the horrible Starrcade put a bad ending on probably the best year the NWA ever had from an in ring perspective. Nothing to see here, but it’s certainly not a bad show.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #8: An Absolute Classic

Clash of the Champions #8: Fall Brawl 1989
Date: September 12, 1989
Location: Carolina Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Attendance: 2,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jim Cornette

We’re in 89 here and since it’s anywhere between late summer and early winter, it’s Fall Brawl. This has nothing to do with the regular PPV because there were about 5 other shows with that name. Anyway, the main event here is supposed to be Flair/Sting vs. Funk/Muta. Funk is hurt via Flair though so it’s…Dick Slater? This is one of those transitional periods for WCW but Funk vs. Flair was the main feud so let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Great American Bash where Funk and Muta destroyed Flair until Sting made the save.

The word on the street is that Gary Hart has something planned. Here’s Gary Hart who says there are no problems in his camp.

Road Warriors vs. Samoan Swat Team

The Samoans come out to the Halloween theme song. Dangerously is managing the Samoans. The Samoans are Fatu and Samu, more famous as the Headshrinkers. Samu hits the floor to hide but Animal throws him right back in. Hawk gets sent to the floor and takes a powerslam for two back in. Bearhug eats up some time and there’s the unseen tag. A very modified version of the Demolition Decapitator gets two. Fatu comes off the top and jumps into a boot (you know the spot I’m talking about) and Animal is tagged to clean house. Everything breaks down, Heyman’s phone hits a Samoan and the Device ends Fatu.

Rating: C. Man the crowd was excited for this. It was a power match and a pretty quick one at that but sometimes that’s all you need to have. Decent enough match though and at times that works best. The Warriors were just about to jump over to the WWF but they were still as popular as anyone.

The Samoans yell at Heyman and fire him post match. He wouldn’t manage again until the summer.

Cuban Assassin vs. Z-Man

There were a lot of assassins in wrestling. This is Z-Man’s debut. For once this isn’t Jack Victory under a mask but rather just a guy from Cuba. Off to a quick armbar as Z-Man controls early. Zenk channels his inner Jericho and uses about a dozen armdrags and armbars. Of all things a sleeper ends this.

Rating: D-. This was one of the weakest debuts I’ve seen for a face in a long time. Z-Man was really boring here and the ending didn’t prove anything. He’s a cruiserweight style guy so he uses a bunch of arm holds and then a sleeper for the end? Seriously? I’m thinking it wasn’t exactly the WWF screwing him over that got him out of there. He has some crazy ideas about it or whatever, but it could very well be that he’s REALLY dull.

Here’s The World According To Theodore R. Long. He’s in a recording studio and plays it kind of like a radio show. It’s really stupid and it’s basically just a rundown of upcoming house shows.

It’s Ric Flair Day in South Carolina. The governor gives him a plaque. Ok then.

Ranger Ross vs. Sid Vicious

Sid is just SCARY over. He hits Ranger in the head and they go to the floor. Ross gets in a few strikes but the move we would call The Eye of the Storm and a powerbomb end this quick.

Now we get a vignette of Robin Green (Nancy Sullivan/Benoit/Woman, the innocent manager of Rick Steiner) and Missy Hyatt get a limo to go shopping. I have no idea what the point of this is. You also can’t hear a word they’re saying because the car is so loud. This is like a high school show in the late 80s. Now they go jewelery shopping. I think this is supposed to be Robin being all out of character.

The Freebirds say they’re awesome.

World Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Steiner Brothers

The Birds are champions and this is the Steiners’ first shot at the titles. Scott is a totally different guy here, to the point where he was a nod of the head away from being handed the world title and being made the focus of all of WCW in about 1991. Flair flat out said you say the time I’ll lay down for you. Think about that for a minute. Then he destroyed his arm and didn’t get the title for 9 years. That’s wrestling for you.

Missy and Robin are here with the brothers. Scott is in regular trunks here so you can tell he’s brand new. Scott vs. Hayes starts us off. Hayes stalls a lot and then stalls a lot more. Scott speeds things up but runs into the left hand which is one of Hayes’ big moves. A top rope cross body by Hayes is rolled through for two and Scott cleans house. Garvin comes in and Scott runs over him too. A SWEET reverse German hits and here’s a tag to Rick. Scott looked like Kurt Angle out there.

Rick knocks both of the Birds to the floor and gets on all fours. Hayes comes in next and dances a lot, just ticking Rick off even more. There’s a powerslam and one for Garvin as he tries a sneak attack. Hayes gets in a few punches so Rick just mauls him and hits a release belly to belly. Rick then misses one of the hardest charges ever into the corner. Garvin comes in with his DDT finisher but Scott makes the save.

Back to Hayes who sends him out to the floor for more of a beating. Rick gets beaten down for awhile as we’re just waiting for Scott to come in and start breaking stuff. Garvin comes back in and hits a running knee to the head for two. Time for a chinlock but Rick snapmares out of it. Why don’t more people use that as a counter?

There’s the tag to Scott (thanks for telling me JR. No seriously, the camera cut to the crowd so we didn’t see if he made it or not) and it’s Frankensteiners (and I mean standing ones, not ones out of the corner) and a BIG powerslam for Hayes. Scott hits the ropes but someone (presumably one of the girls but we intentionally can’t see which) trips him and a quick DDT keeps the titles on the Birds.

Rating: B-. If you’ve EVER been unclear about why people rave and rave some more about Scott Steiner, go find this match right now, keeping in mind that he’s 24 here and had been on national TV as a wrestler for about 3 months. This was one of the most impressive performances I’ve seen in a LONG time. By the way, it was Robin that tripped Scott. She turned heel and debuted Doom soon thereafter, presumably because she wanted to get gangbanged by Ron Simmons and Butch Reed. The Steiners got the titles in November.

Norman the Lunatic vs. Brian Pillman

Norman is more famous as Bastian Booger. He’s just what his name says here: a lunatic from the state hospital. Pillman is young, undefeated, and AWESOME at this point. He comes out with the University of South Carolina Cheerleaders and goes off, hitting all kinds of high flying moves which Norman can’t even begin to keep up with. After a springboard clothesline and a dive to the floor, Brian goes for Norman’s key (he brought it with him and freaked whenever anyone touched it) but it goes nowhere.

Middle rope splash gets two for Norman. Out to the floor and Norman splashes him against the post. A second one misses though and a missile dropkick puts Norman down and PILLMAN SLAMS HIM!!! AND A BACKDROP!!! A middle rope cross body is countered into a powerslam for two. Holy crap this is AWESOME. Out of nowhere Pillman grabs a crucifix for the kind of upset pin.

Rating: B. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THIS COME FROM??? I know I said Pillman was awesome but I didn’t expect that. Pillman was flying all over the place and pulling off stuff that would make Rey Mysterio jealous in 1996. This was incredible and as you can see, Bill Watts was an idiot for wanting to ban this kind of stuff because….why did he want to do that anyway?

Gary Hart insists Terry Funk is here when everyone else says he isn’t.

Mike Rotundo vs. Steve Williams

This is pretty much the very final blowoff of the entire Varsity Club. Williams is freshly face again and gets caught coming in but he’s like “Boy I’m Steve Williams” and clotheslines Williams down then does the still scary gorilla press reps on the slam. Back to the floor where Rotundo hammers away and the fans are all over Rotundo as he hooks an abdominal stretch. Rotundo keeps knocking him down and hooks a chinlock. Even in that Williams won’t stop moving.

Back up and Rotundo puts his feet on the ropes to cheat but Williams won’t go down. A jawebreaker finally gets Steve out of the hold but an elbow misses. The idea here is that Rotundo knows if Williams gets any kind of momentum going then Rotundo is going to die so he has to keep moving every chance he can. A pair of thumbs to the eye slows Williams down and Rotundo goes up. Williams slams him off after getting a RUNNING START.

I’ve told you this before but this guy was the Brock Lesnar of his day. Just SCARY strong and a legit amateur wrestler. Williams misses a charge but Rotundo accidentally dives over the top. Back in the Stampede is countered but Williams holds on and takes him to the mat in kind of a rollup for the surprise pin. The count was cool looking as the referee dove and counted at the same time, sliding on each count.

Rating: B-. Another fun match. This show has rocked so far and Williams just blew away Rotundo here. The idea here was that they never stopped moving out there. Even the rest holds had something going on like using ropes for leverage and Doc (Williams’ nickname was Dr. Death and JR often called him Doc) kept fighting to get out of them. That’s the difference between working and being boring: you can take almost anything in a match and make it more entertaining but you NEVER see that today, which is a shame.

Lex says he’s awesome.

US Title: Tommy Rich vs. Lex Luger

Lex is champion but Rich is an old NWA superhero so he’s very popular here. Lex is a total heel but he was so awesome at this point that you couldn’t help but cheer for him, meaning he gets a bigger pop than Rich here. We hear about how great Rich used to be and JR manages to get cowboy boots into the analysis somehow. Not much to start but Luger uses his power to keep control. He’s a heel but keeps getting cheered.

Rich gets in a right hand and grabs an armbar which gets him nowhere. Cross body gets two and it’s back to the arm. Lex avoids a dropkick and powerslams him for two. He works on the back a bit but Rich hooks a sunset flip for two and Luger goes outside. Back in Lex works on the back some more but the Rack is countered. Superplex gets two. Lex goes up (???) and misses a top rope splash.

Rich starts his comeback and pounds away, hitting a middle rope punch for two. Thesz Press gets the same due to Lex putting his foot on the ropes. In some trivia for you, that’s what he won his world title with. Rich misses a punch and hits the post, only to grab a sleeper while Lex is on the apron. Luger hits a hangman on the top rope for the pin to retain.

Rating: C. Decent match here but not quite as energetic as the previous two matches. Rich is a guy that I think you have to watch a lot of to get the appeal of. Not a great match or anything but more competitive than you would think. That being said, Rich was pure Memphis and that style doesn’t work well with Luger’s power game.

Gary Hart has some more to say. He’s going to let the nation know about something. Hart has a letter from a doctor and there’s a tape from Funk in a hospital bed with a bad arm. Funk talks about how he almost lost his arm and no matter what he’ll be at the Clash tonight.

Sting and Flair (in the classic black robe) say bring it on Funk.

Great Muta/Dick Slater vs. Sting/Ric Flair

Muta is TV Champion here and I think undefeated. He and Sting start which should be awesome. This was one of the hottest feuds of 89 and definitely one of the best. They speed things way up to start and Sting knocks him to the floor very quickly. Back in and they fight over a headlock but Sting grabs an armdrag and works a wristlock. The crowd is WAY into this.

Flair comes in and the fans wake up even more. This is the first time he’s ever been in the ring with Muta. Muta takes a bunch of chops and punches so he collapses into the corner to bring in Slater. Flair beats him up too until Slater sends him into the corner and over the top. Flair runs the apron, hits a running chop to Muta, goes up and hits a top rope elbow to take out Slater.

Dirty Dick (worst nickname ever) kicks Flair to the floor and Muta dives on him. Everyone heads to the floor and it all breaks down. The good guys rule the ring and Hart, the manager, calls a conference. Slater has a cast on his forearm/wrist. Naturally Flair and Sting work it over. This is still the smart Flair, as in the one before Hogan made him an idiot. Sting grabs an armbar and so does Flair. They’re tagging very fast.

Slater comes in and is immediately suplexed for two. Back to Muta quickly and the dominance continues. Muta does the classic heel move of raking the eyes and hits the Handspring Elbow to keep Flair in trouble. Slater comes in and pounds away before sending Flair to the floor. Muta back in now and he hits that snap elbow. A nerve hold is broken and it’s off to Sting. This has been good so far.

Stinger Splash to Muta but Gary Hart comes in to hit Sting in the back of the head with a roll of coins to break up the Deathlock. That only gets two and now both the fans and JR are really getting into this. A powerbomb by Muta gets two. They go to the floor and Flair makes a running save. Back in Slater puts on a sleeper but Sting breaks it up with a jawbreaker and both guys are down.

There’s the hot tag to Flair and he does his best Fifi imitation to clean house. Everything breaks down and Muta gets dropkicked to the floor. Sting goes to pull him back in but takes mist in the face. Oh and it’s yellow too! Slater hits Flair with the cast to bust him open. Down goes the referee and here’s Terry Funk with a plastic bag to TRY TO SUFFOCATE FLAIR. TAKE THAT PG ERA!!! It’s all thrown out of course.

Rating: B+. Pretty awesome tag match here and it plays up to the feud that was going on with Funk vs. Flair, setting up an I Quit match at a future Clash. Slater didn’t really mean much in this as they shifted it back to Muta soon here. Very good tag match here that really needed a finish but still great.

Sting takes a branding iron to the knee. Flair apparently got mouth to mouth by Pillman to wake him up. I’m sure he’s glad that wasn’t on camera. Flair gets medical attention to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. THIS is how you do a TV show. Other than the Z-Man match which is less than four minutes long, there isn’t a bad match on here and you get two or three very good ones, plus a total star making performance by Scott Steiner. Couple that with a great main event that moves the feuds forward and this is one of the best Clashes I’ve ever seen. Find a copy of it because it’s worth seeing.

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Bash at the Beach 1994 – Hulkamania Is Here! Anybody Care?

Bash at the Beach 1994
Date: July 17, 1994
Location: Orlando Arena, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Jesse VenturaHulk Hogan. That’s all that even remotely matters here. Tonight is his debut and he’s already in the world title match. I figured since at this moment it’s 9:38 PM on Friday January 1st, 2010, we might take a look at Hogan’s debut with the company. Note, hopefully I’ll have Fall Brawl 94 up tonight or tomorrow as well. Read the two of these and Halloween Havoc 94 for the Hogan trilogy, as the midcard and lower card mysteriously change from guys that you see featured here into guys that tend to get jobs when Hogan is around and in control. Think of this as a preview for Monday and what might happen when Hogan takes over. Let’s get to it.The intro is all about Hogan vs. Flair. Literally nothing else is even mentioned. They do say the letters WWF though which very much surprises me. The announcers and Gene talk about the only thing on the card that matters. To be fair, there are 6 matches on the card and only one looks good to a smark like myself. This was a very bad time for the company as nothing of note was going on. Oh and Shaq is here for no apparent reason.Some guy with a bad mullet named Daron Norwood sings the national anthem. WHERE DO THEY FIND THESE FREAKING PEOPLE???We see Hogan’s debut on Saturday Night (remember no Nitro for over a year yet) where Sherri debuted as well. Flair went after the knee to set up the very old school angle that actually was pretty good. And here’s Mr. T. to fill in our old WWF reference quota. Sting was hurt here also and can’t wrestle here tonight so Johnny B. Badd gets his TV Title shot. Eight minutes into the show we’re going to the ring.TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Steven Regal

Yes it’s William Regal. Badd is of course Marc Mero as a gay man without ever saying he’s gay. He has two confetti guns as Heenan messes up the name of the belt thinking this is a US Title match. Regal is somehow even more obnoxious at this point. Badd is fast if nothing else. The speed here is good and I notice something: Tony knows a lot of the names of moves. Like, a lot of moves.

This is the same poor schmuck that couldn’t tell that it was Kevin Nash, who was about 9 inches taller than Sting, pretending to be Sting. That makes me like Tony a lot more. Maybe he wasn’t as idiotic as he was made out to be in the NWO era. I kept thinking during that time that he couldn’t possibly be this inept and I think I’m right. Regal is holding his shoulder and tries a walk out like a truly weak heel.

Thankfully that doesn’t happen and Heenan once again has heard a lot of people talking about the various big storylines in the company. Have you ever met anyone that does that, especially at an airport? I get the idea as they’re trying to make wrestling seem like something a lot of people are into, but it still makes me chuckle at times. Some celebrity from Hogan’s TV show is here and I’ve never heard of him at all.

Badd hits his punch on Regal but it knocks him to the floor. They do something resembling a pinfall reversal sequence after a sunset flip by Badd to give Regal the pin. Johnny punches his manager afterwards.

Rating: B-. Not bad. It was fast paced and had some decent technical stuff in there, but the glitter and confetti in the ring just got annoying fast. Badd got the title a month later so I would have gone with it here to give the fans a nice little pop. I like the match but not the booking.

Gene is in the ring and introduces Antonio Inoki who is the equivalent of a Senator in Japan. They give him a plaque for recognition of his contributions to wrestling. Regal, covered in confetti and glitter, is upset that he’s not getting one. Antonio takes the jacket off and chases him off. Well what in the heck was the point of that? I get that Antonio is a legend, but this went nowhere after this. I don’t get this one at all.

Actually scratch that, as they had a match at the Clash of the Champions a month later. Ok, hang on a second. Inoki is retired and a Senator, so they bring him out to fight Regal and beat him while Regal holds a title. And people wonder why this company isn’t around anymore.

Jesse Ventura has replaced Heenan on the commentary for no reason at all.

Vader vs. Guardian Angel

I’ve explained the Guardian Angel in the Halloween Havoc review. It’s Big Boss Man and that’s really all you need to know. This was a LONG feud that never actually seemed to have a point to it. They feuded for probably four months or so and I don’t think Vader ever lost a match to him. Race is Vader’s manager here. Vader busts out a SPINWHEEL KICK. What in the world was that???

Boss Man powerbombs him and let the no selling begin. Vader’s mask is ripped off and with one arm Boss Man slams him. That was impressive looking. Hank Aaron, Inoki and Bill Shawn, the president of WCW, are all in the audience. Aaron works for Turner so he’s there as a business guy and not a fan. WCW couldn’t get a celebrity that big there based on their own merits of course. Shaw…just no.

To the shock of no one, this is just a big fight. Vader actually goes to a leg lock and Tony thinks he’s sending a message to Inoki. What message? You need to work to pass leg lock legislation? This turns into a very fun brawl. Boss Man somehow takes a Vader Bomb and the Vadersault and gets up. Yeah nothing weird at all about that is there? Race comes in and we get a ref bump.

He hands Vader a nightstick and Boss Man gets it, but doesn’t use it. The referee sees him holding it though and that’s the DQ. The idea is that Boss Man had turned in his nightstick and handcuffs to become a Guardian Angel. The idea of that real life group is they don’t use weapons at all. The story is that Boss Man won’t use them but is being tempted to.

He eventually gave up and used it at Halloween Havoc but that’s another story. The problem was unless you watched Spring Stampede or lived in a city like New York where the Guardian Angels existed, you didn’t get the story because it was only mentioned one time. It’s a good idea but it needed to be better executed.

Rating: B. This wasn’t a good match, but it was fun. The charisma was all there and that’s all you need a lot of the time. A lot of people that have seen this will likely disagree on the grading but still, I liked it and had fun with it. It’s not supposed to be a five star classic and it wasn’t. You can’t grade all matches the same.

Jesse picks Flair for later on.

Mike Tenay is doing interviews on the hotline. I didn’t know he was working for the company back then.

We recap the feud between the Rhodes and Funk families. Terry was feuding with Dustin and called out Dusty. Dusty was retired and so Terry decided to beat up Dustin instead. Funk teamed up with Robert Parker’s Stud Stable to beat on Rhodes. Since Dusty was nowhere to be found, Dustin needed a partner. So what does the young man decide to do?

He asks ARN FREAKING ANDERSON. Yes, the same Arn Anderson that HATED Dusty for the majority of the 80s. Yes, the same Arn Anderson that was one of the dirtiest wrestlers of all time. Yes, the same Arn Anderson that is ARN ANDERSON. If you can’t see the ending of this from a mile away, you’re an idiot.

We get a ridiculous recap of a match from before the show with radio show hosts as managers or something. It’s crap and pointless, making it pointless crap.

Terry Funk/Bunkhouse Buck vs. Dustin Rhodes/Arn Anderson

Rhodes needs someone to pop up, preferably a midget in a white top hat because they rule, to slap him in the head and shout  ARE YOU CRAZY??? I honestly can’t get over how stupid this is. Ventura throws out that he had a one hour draw with Funk in 76. I would love to see that actually and I’m not kidding on that. Dustin starts and he needs to be given an idiot of the millennium award.

Funk just beats the living heck out of Dustin for awhile and I love it. You have to teach these idiots things like that. Funk goes over the top which is usually a DQ but no one sees it. Seriously, what was the point of that rule? Who decided that was a good idea? It’s just freaking stupid and accomplished nothing at all, and it was a rule in a ton of companies. I think only the WWF didn’t do it of all the major companies.

There’s still a ton of confetti on the floor and it looks stupid. Note, Anderson hasn’t been in the match yet and hasn’t actually hit anyone yet. Anderson comes in but only to break something up and again: no contact with any heel. Both Dustin and Funk go down and Funk looks like he’s trying to nip up but that’s just him convulsing like he tends to do.

Dustin makes his comeback and beats the heck out of both guys, proving that Arn wasn’t needed at all but we need to make Dustin look stupid so he can look good later. Tony says that it’s a one man war which is what Dustin wanted which is why he got Anderson to team with him. Tony, you make granite look smart.

There’s the tag and the universe makes sense again as Arn drills him which the BRILLIANT production team completely misses because we need a quick shot of Meng standing there and doing nothing. Anderson puts Funk on top of him for the pin.

They all work on Dustin’s arm and mess it up. They say Anderson shows his true colors with a classic Anderson move. We finally get to see it on a replay, but now we don’t get to see Meng! How will we live??? They actually wonder if he was bought off. HE’S ARN ANDERSON YOU LUNKHEAD!

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much a match as it was all angle. The announcers trying to sound all shocked is just funny. Did anyone watch wrestling in the late 80s? This wasn’t a match, but the angle wasn’t any good either as it was so painfully predictable but whatever. There would be WarGames next month and more matches after that because WarGames wasn’t a good enough blowoff I guess.

Tony talks to Hank Aaron as Bobby is back to the broadcast booth. He’s a nice guy but doesn’t pick Heenan or Tony. If there’s ever been a nice guy in sports, that’s it right there.

Flair cuts a completely insane promo as he can see his career falling apart because of Hoagn. We’ll ignore that they’re using this for Hogan’s first match with the company and we got Hogan vs. Beefcake at Starrcade but whatever.

US Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin

In a month, Austin will be jobbing the title to Duggan in 27 seconds and Steamboat will be gone. Yeah taking Austin, who is cursing a lot around this time, and Steamboat who is still good in the ring and replacing them with a WWF jobber to the stars that was one of Hogan’s friends had NOTHING to do with Hogan. Neither does Orndorff or Beecake getting pushes. Not a thing at all.

Steamboat is more or less Shawn Michaels at this point, as he’s much older and a title means nothing to him as his name is far more than enough to get him by and over with the fans and he can wrestle with anybody and get a good match out of them. It’s so weird hearing these two talk about Austin. That name just sounds wrong coming from them. Heenan says he went back to Hogan’s dressing room and said there had to be 500 people there.

Now this is stupid for one reason or another. First of all, I don’t think WCW had 500 employees in a year, and two, the fire marshal could shut the show down if that’s the case. Third, HOW BIG IS HIS DRESSING ROOM? It’s not like he’s Dusty Rhodes and his gut needs a building to hold it. Austin has Dragon Slayer on the back of his tights. Steamboat just kind of falls out of the ring. It looked very odd.

You know, I find it amusing that Bischoff said that Austin was unmarketable as he was. He’s cursing, lying, cheating and wearing black. This is just amusing. The fans boo the arm work. SCREW THEM. This is why wrestling died. The fans weren’t booing when Hogan was nowhere in sight, but we put Hogan in there and all of a sudden psychology and actual wrestling go out the window, because we can’t have anyone under 6’5 and under 275 have a good match right?

We can’t have a guy wrestle a 45 minute match or anything like that. Tony and Heenan talk about seeing Flair and Steamboat going for an hour or an hour and a half and I drool over the thought. It’s very sad to realize that probably 75% of the fans in the world today would call Flair vs. Steamboat and their trilogy of epics in 89 a boring series.

Today there’s a complete hatred of psychology and a disdain for anything that goes on longer than ten minutes or so because the fans can’t keep their interest in a show that long. Take this match for example. It’s been psychology based and mainly about them not being able to stay in control. It’s been a great match but of course the fans are booing it because it’s slow paced and it’s building to a climax and is (allegedly) making Austin into a big deal.

That of course doesn’t happen because Jim Duggan needed to get a push and a three month run with the US Title. Why? DO NOT QUESTION HULK HOGAN! Austin hits the STUN Gun, his finisher, for two and then tries to throw Steamboat over the top, which would be a DQ, but it’s Ricky Steamboat so he skins the cat and is back inside.

That and the nip up are just amazing moves to pull off. Austin sets for a tombstone and it’s reversed which is reversed which is reversed and Steamboat gets it. The fans are INTO THIS now. See what happens when you HAVE SOME PATIENCE??? They somehow crank the speed up and Steamboat hits a cross body and Austin rolls through and the ropes get him the pin and keep the title on him. The last four minutes or so were freaking amazing.

Rating: A-. AWESOME stuff here, as they went back and forth for twenty minutes and somehow cranked it up about ten notches for the finish. This right here is an example of what WCW was about before Hogan showed up: two guys out there with a good amount of time having a great wrestling match.

Hmm, now where have I heard about matches like these before? Matches where they start at the bell and go hard all the way to the end. You might say it’s action that goes for the total match with no stops at all. Yeah that can’t happen though. WE WANT LEGDROPS AND YELLOW TIGHTS DANG IT!!!

We go to the back and see the Stud Stable celebrating. Arn says Dustin had it coming. Yep, that’s true.

Tag Titles: Pretty Wonderful vs. Kevin Sullivan/Cactus Jack

So, we’re pushing Orndorff, a Hogan friend, over Cactus Jack, because Orndorff at 45 is worth more and has a brighter future than Cactus Jack who is 32 here and still healthy. We can’t have people cutting edgy and cool promos because we need to use the same ones we used in the 80s so we don’t have to actually come up with something on our own, so let’s just get rid of Jack because he’s young and popular and over and talented and people want to watch him.

We don’t have time for that. WE HAVE BEEFCAKE!!! My freaking goodness Paul Roma sucks. We see a shot of Cactus with no teeth because I guess they were knocked out or something. Next of course he bites Orrdorff. I hate WCW at times. So let’s see. We have a young guy that is popular but doesn’t wrestle a standard style. What’s the solution to discredit him?

Let’s put him in the ring with Paul Roma and a guy in his mid 40s with one good arm and then blame him for how much it sucked! I wish I was making that up, but they gave these guys more time than Steamboat and Austin. They actually asked Paul Roma and Paul Orndorff to wrestle for twenty minutes and expected it to be good. I mean seriously, who thought this was going to work?

Why is Orndorff on the roster anymore here? This is what killed WCW in my eyes: the old guys that were friends of Hogan getting pushes while the future, as in Austin and Jack getting depushed and let go because Hogan can’t go at their level and the show would have been stolen from him if they had stayed. ANYWAY after twenty minutes of this Jack hits the double arm but Roma holds his foot down and Orndorff pops up and covers him, allowing another old finish to end it.

Rating: D. And that’s only because Foley is my favorite wrestler of all time and I won’t fail him. This was just moronic as you know they could tell this would be bad but they did it anyway. Not only did the Pauls hold the titles but they beat ANOTHER young team to get them back and then Roma and Orndorff just faded away like they were supposed to, but not before making Cactus look terrible and having him head to ECW along with Austin.

And now let’s bring out all the people that have nothing to do with the match but we’re bringing them out anyway because we had six matches on the card and we really need to fill in time since we had to have the tag titles go 20 minutes so that Roma and Orndorff can look good since they’re the future of the company boy howdy.. We have Nick Bockwinkle and Shaq and that’s it.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

Again, they’re actually doing this in his first match with the company. Mr. T. is with Hogan for absolutely no apparent reason. Hogan’s arms have shrunk insanely now to the point that he looks like he MIGHT weigh 260. Hogan drops Flair then Flair shoves him back to the corner but that doesn’t last because Hogan has to dominate all. I really can’t believe this is his first match in the company.

The stupidity of that astounds me to this day. The fans are way into this of course, which is impressive as they didn’t really build to it at all. Naturally for about five minutes or so, the world champion who I believe held it for over a year three times or so is destroyed. Ah thank goodness: we’re doing the Flair formula and not the Hogan one, although I have a bad feeling it’s going to be a hybrid of the two instead.

Flair works on the bad knee and takes control while trying in vain for the submission that will never come. The announcers are of course biased here which can get a bit annoying but it’s something you get used to over the years. Sherri and Hart interfere a bunch and nothing comes of it. Throughout the match Hogan’s length of time between matches grows from about 14 months to three years.

Don’t you just love the over the top aspects of WCW’s commentary? Sherri pulls the referee out because we need more time and to go over the top here to make sure that this has the “big match feel” to it or something like that. Referee number two comes out to check on the figure four which Flair of course puts on the wrong leg. Naturally that’s not the ending either. Hogan Hulks Up and I wonder why Flair doesn’t run here. I’ve never gotten that.

When Hogan is up and going insane, why not just hit the floor and wait about three minutes? Heenan says this is the greatest match either of them have ever had. It’s not even the best match they’ve both been in at the same time that Heenan has called. Sherri misses a splash and Hogan puts him in the figure four. Flair is all like boy please and just moves Hogan’s leg off of his which I don’t think was supposed to be on camera.

Mr. T. grabs Sherri to validate his paycheck. An illegal object nails Hogan and he of course no sells it. Hulk Up time and the usual finishes. Naturally Hogan, the new world champion wouldn’t wrestle at the next PPV. Why should he do that? We have the NASTY BOYS to main event the show. Heenan’s recapping of it is great as he breaks into tears. He came to WCW to get away from Hogan and he’s world champion all over again. Bobby, that’s two ham sandwiches I owe you now.

Rating: B-. This was fine. Flair and Hogan usually put on good matches, but did they need to do this in the first match? Imagine the money they would make from having Flair cheat to win here and hold the title until maybe STARRCADE, you know, the BIGGEST SHOW OF THE YEAR. Naturally we can’t do that though because we need to have Beefcake get a title shot there while Flair doesn’t even wrestle.

Hogan beats Flair in his traditional fashion here, showing that even though he hasn’t wrestled in over a year (or three depending on who you ask apparently) he can beat Ric Flair, the world heavyweight champion, despite interference and foreign objects. Sure, why not.

Overall Rating: C. I’ll go with right in the middle here as other than the US Title there’s nothing worth making sure you see. The main event is pretty good but it’s nothing masterful at all. I really don’t like the booking here but that’s Hogan for you so what are you going to do?

The next month’s show would be far worse but that doesn’t surprise me at all as the Nastys, the Rhodeses, Bunkhouse Buck and Robert Parker were in the main event. Yeah that’s right. Like I said, see the US Title match but that’s about all that’s worth seeing here. Hogan’s debut isn’t much at all.

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Monday Night Raw – March 3, 1997 – Perhaps The Best TV Match Ever

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 3, 1997
Location: Deutschlandhalle, Berlin, Germany
Attendance: 6,373
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Honky Tonk Man, Jim Ross

This is a very nice surprise. I had planned to do this because it was the 200th episode (again that’s an approximation because a simple thing like counting is a hard task for a company like the WWF) but in reality it has what is considered one of the best matches in the history of Raw and possibly in the history of wrestling on free TV. We’re setting up for Wrestlemania 13 which is in about three weeks I think. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the Berlin Wall being torn down and how tonight it’s the tournament final.

Honky Tonk Man comes out for commentary.

There are three title matches tonight. This card is STACKED. See how this grabs you for an opener.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bret Hart

For those of you that can’t do the math, that would be HHH. He’s just a midcard guy here though. Bret says he can stay focused because he has to. The fans throw in a Bret Hart bear so HHH punts it out. HHH is nowhere near what he would become so this would be like Orton vs. Mahal. Bret takes over with a headlock and they go to the mat. Honky says Bret plays it up like he’s quick but he’s really cheating.

HHH gets in a kick which might have been low as we take a break. Back with the future Game still in control and working on the arm. The jumping knee to the face takes Bret down as we talk about the submission match. HHH goes up but Bret crotches him and a superplex gets two. The Russian legsweep and middle rope elbow gets the same. Pedigree is countered but a rake to the eyes breaks up the Sharpshooter. Bret puts HHH in the Tree of Woe and goes after him but shoves the referee in the process for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Not as good as you would expect but like I said, HHH wasn’t anywhere near what he’d become. This wasn’t a terrible match and HHH certainly didn’t look bad here at all. It’s not a classic, but it’s nice to see something like this where a veteran puts over a young guy by going toe to toe with him for twenty minutes. Good stuff.

Chyna gets in Bret’s face but she’s escorted out.

There’s no Austin for an interview.

Intercontinental Title: Vader vs. Rocky Maivia

Again we have someone in the form of Rocky that isn’t anywhere near what he’d become yet. He’s the Intercontinental Champion though so he’s had a good start to his career I’d say. Vader beat Rocky in the first round of the European Title tournament so the title is in jeopardy here. All Vader to start who takes Rocky’s head off with a clothesline. Rocky hooks a rollup for two and is crushed by a splash in the corner.

Rock tries a sunset flip but Vader sits on him for two. He speeds things up and hammers away on Vader. Taking the fight to Vader always seems to be the best course of action actually and Rocky even manages a belly to back for two as we take a break. Back with Vader getting two off a splash. Paul Bearer is at ringside with Vader. A middle rope splash (not the Vader Bomb) gets two.

Vader really changes gears now by throwing on a leg lock. That’s not something you see him do that often and it goes against his style pretty hard. Vader goes up again but Rock powerslams him down for two. A pretty sweet belly to belly gets two. Spinning DDT gets two and Rocky is all fired up. Vader has lost his mask. Rocky hits his top rope cross body finisher but Vader gets out before the count starts. A dropkick puts Vader on the floor but Mankind runs in and clocks Rocky with the Urn for the DQ.

Rating: B. Pretty solid power vs. speed match here and I really wanted to see the ending here. Vader was still valuable at this point as he hadn’t been made into a jobber to the stars yet. Rocky of course was on the rise but he didn’t have much to go on yet. That’s what veterans past their primes like Vader are good for too. This was very fun and I was having a great time with it.

Vader beats Rock up post match.

We get a clip from last week where Lawler issued an open challenge to ECW and they ran in. I’ve reviewed that show already and it was pretty dull if I remember. Dreamer beat up D-Von and there were a lot of weapons involved. Seeing stuff like weapons being blurred out is weird. Sandman drinking a beer is censored. That’s so bizarre to see on Raw. The ECW guys had to stop a fight between Lawler and Heyman.

Sultan vs. Flash Funk

Sultan is Rikishi. Jim Ross has joined us on commentary. Lawler calls in and yells at Vince for having ECW guys on Raw. Didn’t Jerry invite him? If the ECW guys show up next week, Lawler will finish the fight. After a break the match is joined in progress with Sultan running him over. Flash does his usual flying around the ring to get in some offense but Sultan hooks him in a sleeper. Heyman calls in to say Lawler is over the line. The challenge is accepted but it might not be next week. Standing rana sets up a top rope moonsault for two by Funk. Sultan counters a headscissors and the camel clutch ends this quick.

Rating: C-. This match was fine but it’s by far and away the weakest of the matches as far as star power goes. Good match here as Funk is always someone I love watching. Sultan was a dead end gimmick and more or less stopped meaning anything after Mania when Rocky beat him in the IC Title match.

We get a clip from October with Austin breaking a lot of stuff in the back. He yelled at a security guard and got thrown out by cops. We’re looking for him tonight.

Sid says he’s ready for Mankind.

We get a clip from Final Four where Bulldog and Owen had some issues.

Here’s Ahmed to answer the challenge from Farrooq for a street fight at Mania. The announcer speaks in German and then shifts to very accented English. Ahmed accepts and I have no idea what else he’s saying.

Video on the LOD who are still awesome at this point. On Shotgun Saturday Night (I really need to do more of that show) they said they’d be in Chicago for Wrestlemania.

WWF Title: Mankind vs. Sycho Sid

This should be….interesting. Mankind gives a quick prematch promo mostly in German. Sid pounds away on him while the music is still playing. Out to the floor and Mankind gets in a few shots before hitting the post by mistake. Back inside Sid hooks a chinlock and we hear that next week, Raw is War. That would be the official new name of the show. Sid grabs a Fujiwara Armbar of all things.

Austin pops up on the split screen and rants about how he’s the #1 talent in wrestling today but he was sitting next to the bathroom on the plane and had a stale sandwich in a brown paper bag. That’s not what made him sick though: it was Bret whining all over the place. More from him later. Mankind hooks onto Sid with what looks like a face grab or something. An elbow on the apron gets two.

Mankind pounds away while Sid is on the apron on the outside. Sid comes back and pounds away. Why this guy is world champion is beyond me but he would lose it soon. He and Taker will be teaming up next week says Vince. A running boot in the corner misses for Sid and we take a break. Back with Sid pounding on him and Mankind is knocked to the floor. They slug it out on the outside with Sid grabbing him by the throat and throwing him into the post.

A belly to back on the floor takes Mankind down again but he gets a Stunner on the top rope to break up the momentum. Back inside and a top rope legdrop gets two on sid Mankind takes over again via a chinlock and there’s the Claw. It only gets two and Sid stands up which breaks away the leverage. Double Arm DDT gets two. Off to a sleeper for awhile until Sid rams Mankind into the buckle to escape. Bearer tries to interfere but it results in Mankind taking the chokeslam for two. The powerbomb keeps the title on Sid.

Rating: C-. Sid was just awful at this point and Mankind just wasn’t good enough to get something good out of him. He tried as hard as he could but the clashes of styles and the sheer force of suck from Sid really brought this down. When your offense consists of punch, kick, forearm, chokeslam and powerbomb, there isn’t much that can be done.

Austin is back for the more of his interview and we get a clip where Austin tried to keep Bret from winning the title at Final Four. Bret won the title but Sid won it the next night thanks to a chair shot from Austin. Austin goes on a rant about how Shawn was sick and had a knee injury and got a video about them.

Austin was sick and had a bad knee and went 25 minutes but that’s never talked about. He should be champion and knows enough to beat Bret into submission. Austin isn’t worried about Shamrock because no one can make him quit. He says Vince treats him like a dog so why shouldn’t he be bitter? AWESOME promo with Austin being full of fire in his eyes.

European Title: Owen Hart vs. British Bulldog

They’re tag champions but have been having a lot of problems lately. This is the finals of a tournament with the first title going to the winner. They go to the corner to start with no one having an advantage. They exchange wristlock counters and it’s Davey with some very early control. He counters a monkey flip with a cartwheel and both guys nip up to a standoff.

They shake hands and things reset. Owen grabs the wrist and climbs the ropes but gets caught in a powerbomb. Davey catapults him to the floor and invites him back in. Rollup gets two for Owen but an armdrag puts him on the mat where Davey takes over with a headlock again. Owen tries the same wristlock counter as before but Davey drops him right on his back and arm to counter.

We take a break and come back with Davey working on the arm some more. Davey’s old crucifix gets two. Delayed vertical is countered into an enziguri attempt which Davey ducks. There’s a surfboard but Owen grabs the referee to escape. Bulldog speeds things up but Owen avoids him to toss him out to the floor. Davey is holding his knee but gets back in pretty easily.

Back in Owen tries a leapfrog but injures his own knee. He’s channeling his inner Bret though and is goldbricking so he can get the advantage. Now they’re ticked off and the Sharpshooter is broken up. Things speed up and Owen kicks his head off for no cover. Owen drops a leg for two and hooks a chinlock as they get a breath. Davey is knocked to the floor and a sunset flip back in gets two.

We take a second break and come back with Davey ramming elbows into Owen’s ribs but a belly to belly suplex stops him cold. Off to a camel clutch but Davey stands up and hits an electric chair to break the hold. Owen tries a Flair cover with his feet on the ropes for two. Middle rope elbow gets the same. This is already very good and is getting great. Up to the corner and Davey falls onto him to counter a superplex for two.

Davey comes back with clotheslines and the fans are getting into it. Suplex puts Owen down for two. Smith gorilla presses him but crotches him on the top. The Canadian grabs a German on the Englishman for two. Davey loads up the powerslam but Owen grabs the ropes to escape. There’s the enziguri and Davey is down. He hooks the Sharpshooter but Bulldog makes the rope. Owen loads up a tombstone but Davey reverses into the Powerslam for two. The victory roll that Owen beat Bret with at Mania X is countered into a rollup of Davey’s own for the pin.

Rating: A+. Just a total classic here as they countered each other perfectly the entire time and we got a great false finish with Owen kicking out of the powerslam. Do you ever remember that happening? This is easily one of the best matches you’ll ever see, especially on free TV. Great stuff and probably their second best matches ever each.

They shake hands post match.

Overall Rating: A. The WWF was FEELING IT at this point but they were in so deep against WCW and the NWO that no one really noticed it until the end of the year. You had guys like Austin that were hungry for anything they could get and Bret being all ticked off. The main event would set up a rematch in a few weeks which Bret would interrupt to start the Hart Foundation, leading to the vastly underrated Border War of 1997. Excellent show and well worth checking out.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #7: Funk vs. Steamboat

Clash of the Champions 7: Guts and Glory
Date: June 14, 1989
Location: Ritz-Epps Fitness Center, Fort Bragg, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

Oh where to begin here. First off (here I guess), this is being held at an army base so the entire crowd is comprised of soldiers. In other words, they are completely and utterly insane. It’s Flag Day and the day that the army was first founded so expect a BIG military theme for this one. This is the build up show for Bash 89, widely considered to be the best WCW/NWA show ever.

Tonight is also the final three matches in the world tag team title tournament. The only other thing of note here is the biggest appearance ever of one of the most hated, complained about and freaking dumbest concepts in the history of professional wrestling. Yep, tonight we see the Ding Dongs. Let’s get to it.

Some army dude tells us that the army is ready to fight.

Funk vs. Steamboat tonight. That sounds pretty awesome.

We don’t know who Hayes’ partner is in the tournament tonight which heavily implies to me that those are your winners.

This is a 3 hour show, making the video just over two hours long. That’s much longer than these usually were.

Some NWA Crew guy stands behind Ross and Caudle looking straight at the camera in a funny moment.

Star Spangled Banner with full military choir. That’s kind of cool.

We see some wrestlers doing some ROTC training. Any chance we could have some, like, wrestling?

We see Missy Hyatt and a more or less jobber named Ranger Ross doing a zipline thing.

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Dynamic Dudes vs. Freebirds

The Dynamic Dudes are Shane Douglas and Johnny Ace as REALLY annoying surfboarders/skateboarders and no one liked them. The Freebirds beat the Road Warriors and the Dudes beat Jack Victory and Rip Morgan. Jimmy Garvin, an associate of the Freebirds for like six years, is the new partner. Terry Gordy was the original partner of Hayes but dropped out for no apparent reason. He’s fighting later so it’s not like he’s hurt.

Ah apparently Garvin is just there and they’re using the appropriately named Freebird Rule. It’s a good thing the move is named that. It would be awkward if it was named the generic tag team heel rule. Much better this way and what a coincidence too. Hayes and Johnny start us off. The Dudes work over the arm of Garvin and the crowd is red hot. Apparently it would be an upset if an established team beat a new team.

Ross talks about the tournament, the main event, Muta, and the Ding Dong. I can’t wait for that one. The level of wrestling in this match is slipping rapidly. We hear about how many soldiers there are here and how the base is like a city. Hot tag to Johnny which makes me think of the Spirit Squad. How are we only five minutes into this? That doesn’t seem possible. With Shane on the floor a Hayes DDT ends Johnny to send the Birds to the finals.

Rating: D+. Just a quick tag match here with the ending rarely in doubt. You don’t debut a new member of a team and have them lose to a glorified jobber team that few liked at all. This was a standard match also with nothing special at all going on in it. Nothing horrible though.

Ranger Ross vs. The Terrorist

As I read on a blog I read, what kind of military base lets a man known as THE TERRORIST come in without jumping him? Ross is a generic military character but was a legit paratrooper. The Terrorist is played by dying days of ECW manager Jack Victory. It’s a one minute squash here with Ross winning with a superkick/big boot (it looked awful). This was rather predictable but the crowd loved it so all is fine.

Video on the Road Warriors. They’re awesome don’t you know. So awesome they lost in the first round of the tournament. We get Iron Man though so all is not lost.

Muta comes out for something called a Dragon Shy demonstration. The idea is that Hot Stuff Eddie Gilbert has challenged Muta to a Double Jeopardy match, which is where you flip a coin to determine which gimmick is used, in this case Dragon Shy or Coal Miner’s Glove. Gary Hart (underrated heel manager) says Muta wants real competition, not these no name guys (he says Gaijin but I don’t think a lot of readers would get that term. In short it’s not nice).

Muta had spit mist in the eyes of Missy Hyatt who was Gilbert’s girlfriend at the time. He runs down and throws fire at Muta, who is terrified of it apparently. The more famous of the two pulls a jobber in front of him and he gets burned badly. Apparently he’s hurt but hey we’ve got squashes to get to so get him out of here.

George South/Cougar Jay vs. Ding Dongs

PLEASE MAKE IT SHORT! Their music is downright whimsical though. They have bells all over their clothes (full body orange jumpsuits with masks) and a bell in the corner which they ring throughout the entire match. The Ding Dongs are in trouble here vs. generic jobber #2.

We hear about the Great American Bash Series, which is different than what you would be used to. It was actually a big tour and at least one PPV was just a best of show. By 89 this wasn’t the case but I’m not sure about earlier than that. Thesz Press gets two for one of the Ding Dongs. The worst part is that they’re not a particularly bad team. The gimmick is just so freaking stupid.

Power Hour is debuting on Friday night at 10:20. What a great time to start a wrestling show. A combination elbow drop and knee drop gets a pin on generic jobber #1 who is apparently George South. Bob Caudle immediately says “that was horrible” as I don’t think he knew his mic was on.

Rating: N/A. It’s short enough to not be able to grade and it’s just a squash anyway, but this is one of the more famous bad ideas in wrestling as they more or less left after this. Can’t say I blame them as a drunken military crowd booed this. That says a lot.

A United States Representative says thanks for doing this and gee isn’t the American Flag awesome?

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Midnight Express vs. Samoan Swat Team

This would be the Headshrinkers vs. Bobby Eaton/Stan Lane for those unfamiliar. The Express are faces here which is even weirder to see. They beat Bob Orton and Butch Reed while the Swat Team beat Ron Simmons and Ranger Ross. A fan tries to run into the ring during Cornette’s introduction and is caught in one of the fastest reactions I’ve ever seen.

The Swat Team is managed by Dangerously. What kind of a name is Samoan Swat Team anyway? Paul is more or less nothing here but a guy that can talk. He looks like an idiot, even moreso than usual. Cornette swings the tennis racket at him and it’s on early. Almost all Express to start us off. The future Rikishi is in trouble early on. They finally take over on Eaton and we enter the formula.

Suplex on the floor and the Samoans clear the ring. Lane finally comes in (and by that I mean after like 2 minutes) and cleans a few rooms. Down goes the referee, in come the Road Warriors, down go the Samoans, Midnights win.

Rating: D. Total nothing match here that goes like six minutes and ends with a weak ending. Apparently the Samoans cost the Road Warriors a spot in the semi-finals. This just went nowhere at all and was done so fast that nothing could have been interesting in it at all. Bad match.

We see Funk/Flair from the previous PPV, setting up the match at the Bash. Good angle. In short, Funk wants a title shot, Flair says no, Funk half kills him, Bash match made. There you go.

Terry Gordy vs. Steve Williams

Total war to start with both guys beating the heck out of each other in this explosion of the Miracle Violence Connection. Kevin Sullivan had more or less brainwashed Williams and then Williams rebelled, resulting in Sullivan paying his old rival Gordy to take out Williams. For the second time tonight, Ross says he could use a cold Coors Light. Soon after this the turnbuckles would have sponsors, so you know what we had to deal with then.

Williams is the face here and sends Gordy to the floor for more brawling. Surprisingly it’s not a double countout as we head back into the ring for more fighting. Williams hits a decent (all things considered) crossbody for two. And so much for next month as they’re in the Coors Light Corner. Oh dear. Now they brawl up the aisle again and there’s the countout.

Rating: C-. Big physical brawl here but nothing special at all. Williams was always fun to see but this was just to set up a draw which was kind of pointless. LOUD disapproving chants from the fans so at least they know crap when they see it. Nothing horrible but this just didn’t do anything but fill in time.

Mike Justice vs. Norman the Lunatic

It’s Bastian Booger as an insane asylum patient with Teddy Long as his manager. It’s a 45 second squash and Norman wins with a splash. Nothing else to say here. Oh and hospital orderlies in white coats come out and take him away with Teddy threatening to lock him up if he doesn’t go.

We hear about the triple chance King of the Hill battle royal. It’s a two ring battle royal where there was one at every Bash show with the winners having a big one at the Bash PPV.

The Freebirds have some new rules, which they don’t specify at first. Or at all actually.

Video about Flyin Brian and his groundbreaking stuff.

Varsity Club vs. Steiner Brothers

This is more or less the major debut for the Steiners as a team. Sullivan and Rotunda as their opponents here in a VERY long running feud. This is under Australian rules, whatever that means. The Steiners have Missy with them. Scott is in regular tights so you know this is an early appearance for him. Big brawl to start as Rick is way over.

Hey there’s another Coors Light reference and let’s thank some army dudes. Rick vs. Mike now which is the real meat of the feud. Ross says hi to all of the fans in Connecticut where they’re headed soon which might be a slight jab at WWF but nothing big. The commentary is more or less just a commercial for the upcoming tour.

Kind of a slow start here but the fans are into it and it’s nothing bad at all. You can see the superstar in Scott just waiting to get out. The Club throws Scott to the table on the floor and then throws steps at his legs and connects. He’s limping badly now which very well could be legit. Ross and Caudle are FREAKING over this which isn’t exactly overkill here. Gorgeous dropkick by Rotunda puts Scott down.

Hot tag to Rick but Sullivan had the referee. I love that trick as it’s so simple yet it works every time. Mike misses a dropkick and there’s the real hot tag. Rick just massacres both guys until Scott can get back up. Sullivan steals Caudle’s chair and slides it into Mike who hits a suplex on Scott onto the chair on Scott’s already injured back (which was played up throughout the match after landing on the table in a nice mini-story) for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good with a basic formula, a nice story and a hot crowd packed together into less than 9 minutes. The Steiners would of course go on to become the most successful tag team in company history but this was more or less their first match that meant anything. Fun stuff here and a fairly good match.

Cornette (looking SKINNY) runs down the Freebirds. He was 27 here which is just weird to imagine as he always seems to be this 41 year old man that rants about everything.

Ross: Let’s hear from the Governor of North Carolina, Jim Martin. Martin: Hello, I’m Jim Martin, Governor of North Carolina. So what you’re saying is he’s Jim Martin, Governor of North Carolina? He says basic stuff.

TV Title: Sting vs. Bill Irwin

Sting is more or less the hottest thing in the world but they had no idea what they were going to do with him so they threw the TV Title on him and said go be awesome. To say it worked is an understatement as he won the world title at the Bash the next year. Luger won’t come out for commentary as he’s been teasing a heel turn lately. Irwin gives him problems for like a minute and then the Splash ends it with relative ease.

Rating: N/A. Total squash on TV for the TV Champion. What more can you really ask for?

Video on Scott “Gator” Hall. It’s Scott Hall with long curly blonde hair as he goes after alligators in a swamp to a bad 80s song. Sweet goodness that’s out of nowhere.

Ross is at Flair’s house where he’s wearing sunglasses and a neck brace. Well of course he is. This is his first interview or first televised appearance since May when he won the title and got hurt by Funk. He’s in a Lakers blazer which is odd for some reason. Flair says he’s not worried about money as he has enough money to spend in two lifetimes. That’s just comical.

He compares this injury to the plane crash as he contradicts all kinds of history as he says after the crash the doctors said he definitely would wrestle again. Nice one there Naitch. Ross asks about the thirty day title defense rule as it has been five weeks since the injury. Flair more or less says they said screw it, let’s give him another thirty days. The announcement of his future will come on July first. Flair says he’ll get Funk. More or less 6-7 minutes of nothing here.

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament Finals: Freebirds vs. Midnight Express

Is there a reason why the music for the Birds changed from the first match? It’s now Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd which makes sense. Dangerously runs out and blasts Cornette with a tennis racket before we get started. The Express opens the racket and there’s a horseshoe and a chain inside of it. Nicely done.

Basic feeling out period to start us off as they’ve never faced each other before which is rather surprising to me given how the 80s were with the territories and people switching companies very quickly. Garvin beats on Eaton as we’re just kind of slowly building up here. The Birds clear the ring as we waste more time.

Eaton goes to the floor for the second time in a minute as I’d love for this match to like, end. He gets beaten down even more as Lane and his kicks get in for the first time in the match. He gets a DDT on Hayes out of nowhere to bring Eaton back in like an idiot after a long beatdown he just went through. Gordy sneaks in for a WEAK powerbomb to end this with the Birds winning the titles.

Rating: D. Another boring match here which didn’t get going at all. Way too much stalling and wasting time with the Express just doing nothing at all and the Birds just not being that good. This show has been ok but nothing great and this was the same way as that. Weak match.

Terry Funk vs. Ricky Steamboat

Terry is ranked #10 and Steamboat #1. They lock up and go against the ropes so Patrick gets between them although he gets ridden around the ropes. They chop the HECK out of each other and it’s a standoff. SWEET dropkick that hits Funk in the jaw by Ricky. Funk goes to the floor and comes back in for a slugout which Steamboat is lost in.

Funk just punches the heck out of him and looks very evil doing it. He is just such an ugly man and played a natural heel as well as anyone I can think of. Steamboat stands on the top rope for the better part of ever before FINALLY coming off with a huge chop. Then he goes out of character to pick him up and walk nearly a lap around the ring with Funk up in a slam. I like that for some reason.

Funk takes over again as this is a very solid back and forth match. Piledriver hits Steamboat for two which is Funk’s finisher. Down goes the referee and Steamboat hits the floor again. Why does everything have to be about hitting? Funk hits a “running” Piledriver on the floor which is a nice way of saying he took a few steps backwards before hitting it. This gets two as Ross loses it.

Steamboat blocks a top rope splash (???) with knees and takes over a bit again. Gutbuster hits Funk and a top rope chop sets up an enziguri to put Funk outside. Funk grabs the mic and drills Ricky in the head for the DQ. He grabs a chair and looks like he’s about to kill Steamboat but Luger runs in for the save.

Rating: B. Solid match here between a great heel and a great face. This was very back and forth and the ending fit perfectly. Steamboat looked great and so did Funk, who was having a legit resurgence of his career at this point. Neither could win which is how it should be. I liked it and it felt like a major match.

Luger says he has no problems and then drills Steamboat, half killing him with the chair and the Rack. He says here lies your #1 contender. Luger is the second ranked guy and is jealous. Sting comes out to get rid of Luger.

After a break, we have a birthday party for the Army. Not a person in the Army, but for the Army itself. The Ft. Bragg Commander makes a very boring speech and gives WCW a trophy. Oh and the choir sings. This must have been RIVETING for the fans at home. This is your last 10 minutes of the show. They sing Happy Birthday to the Army as I want a small firearm for my head.

Ross and Caudle say nothing of note and the just replay the ending of the wrestling as the credits end us.

Overall Rating: C. Not bad here as a lot of stuff was happening and there’s some decent stuff, but a lot of this was filler as three hours was just too long. A lot of the squashes and military stuff could have been completely cut out and no one would have minded. The Norman match and the Ding Dongs match were just stupid. This wasn’t the worst show ever, but at three hours it’s just too much. Watch only if you’re really quite bored.

 

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WCW Saturday Night – January 1, 1994 – Sting vs. Austin

WCW Saturday Night
Date: January 1, 1994
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 750
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

This is the first of five straight shows that I have from this series. Saturday Night was the top show for WCW at this time and this is a very interesting time for them. The company is throwing out a bunch of young guys and getting some awesome results but Hogan is looming. It’s certainly more good than bad at this point though so let’s get to it.

The opening video is the same one they used for years: a high tech computer/robotics system building what appears to be the perfect wrestler or something like that.

Tonight is the followup show to Starrcade 1993.

The announcers plus Mean Gene welcome us to the show and talk about everything new that’s going on now. Jesse is talking about running for Senate so he’s in a suit and tie.

We get a video of Flair as a kid with a bunch of photos of him when he was a kid. This turns into a career highlight video.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Terry Taylor

They tie up to start and fight to the corner for a break. After a quick standoff they head back to the technical chain style. Taylor gets a nice bridge to break out of a wristlock but Regal pulls him right back to the mat. The fans chant USA because Regal is an evil dirty foreigner. Back to the mat and Regal nips up to get out of a test of strength position. This is going to be a mat based match and I didn’t expect anything else.

Taylor hooks a body scissors with his legs which goes on for awhile. Tony talks about Flair being the new world champion, which is interesting when you consider this was taped about three weeks before Starrcade. Taylor keeps control and goes after the arm. Regal nips up again but Terry takes him right back down. They go back to the mat and Taylor works the arm even more.

The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this, but then again they all got in free which was a very common practice at this time. The mat based technical stuff isn’t helping anything here. Regal takes over and it’s more arm work. Now for a change of pace, Taylor works on the arm! Regal gets up but Terry hooks a rollup for two. We’ve gone 12 minutes (not quite) out of the 15 and they fight over a butterfly suplex. They fight over a backslide which gets two for the challenger. That’s Taylor if you weren’t sure of it. Off to a pinfall reversal sequence with Regal getting the pin off a handful of trunks.

Rating: D+. Technically this was fine but at the same time the match itself was really boring. The arm work is a very scientific style but as you can see with the crowd like this, they don’t want to see technical stuff. I love the old school style but stuff like this gets very boring. These TV Title matches were usually a lot like this one though, which is why the big showdowns were much better.

Colonel Parker says the big stuff is coming for Steve Austin. Austin is listed as US Champion here but hadn’t won the title when it was taped.

Paul Roma/Paul Orndorff vs. Brady Boone/Scott Studd

Boone isn’t well known but he graduated from Robinsdale High School with guys like Rick Rude and Curt Hennig and some others who all became wrestlers. Studd is Scotty Riggs. The Pauls have the Masked Assassin with them. The fans chant Paula and Jesse wants to know who is getting the chants. Orndorff vs. Boone gets us going. The fans want Flair.

Boone takes him to the mat but Orndorff takes over with relative ease. Jesse and Tony are talking about Nebraska vs. Florida State for some reason. Boone gets a rollup for two. A double tag brings in Roma vs. Studd and it’s even more arm work. Roma powerslams him for two. Orndorff comes in for the piledriver and Roma pins him with one finger.

Rating: D. Just a long squash here but good grief the team that would be known as Pretty Wonderful got old fast. When the team is called just ok, how seriously can you actually take them? Boring match with more arm work which wasn’t interesting in the first match, nor is it here.

Here’s part of the WCW Amateur Contest, which is where you send in clips of yourself cutting promos.

Gene is in the Control Center and talks about Starrcade, meaning we get clips and highlights of it. Austin took the US Title from Rhodes two falls to one and we get part of the match. Check the Starrcade 93 review is you want the play by play of it. The lights going out during the biggest show of the year is so WCW. We get a clip of Teddy Long winning Manager of the Year and then of Flair vs. Vader. This includes part of a post match interview with Sting and Flair.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Tony Zane

Zane looks like Jerry Lawler from the 70s if you don’t look at his face. Nothing match and Badd wins with his top rope sunset flip.

Badd says he’s pretty and puts a pair of lips on Gene Okerlund. Badd talks about a great tag wrestler coming out of retirement to team with him. That would be Michael PS Hayes. Shanghai Pierce and Tex Slazenger come out to yell.

Cactus Jack/Maxx Payne vs. Mark Kyle/Robbie Eagle

Jack and Eagle start us off and Jack dominates quickly. Off to Maxx who drops an elbow for two. Back to Jack who hits the discus clothesline to take Kyle down. The flip dive to the floor by Cactus kills Kyle. Back in the Painkiller (Fujiwara Armbar) ends Kyle quick. Total squash.

Cactus and Payne say they’re perfect together.

Colossal Kongs vs. Scott D’Amore/Ben Jordan

The Kongs are big fat guys in masks managed by Harley Race. Race calls out Flair in an inset interview. A double splash ends this in about 40 seconds.

Shockmaster vs. JL Sullivan

Sullivan charges into him twice and goes down both times. He hits a few splashes in the corner and a spinebuster ends this. Literally a squash.

Brian Pillman vs. Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker

Parker is a short dude with Napoleon Syndrome and he trained Goldberg. Basic back and forth stuff to start as they fight over arm work. Parker comes back and hammers on him but a headscissors sends him to the floor. Back in Parker works on the leg to slow things down again. Pillman comes back, beats on him a lot and a missile dropkick finally ends this.

Rating: D+. Pillman is fun but man this was boring. A lot of arm work here which isn’t a good thing, especially when we’ve seen it in three matches tonight. This was more about pushing the split of the Blondes and showing that Pillman still had it. Parker was short and nothing interesting but somehow he became the head trainer at the Power Plant. Go figure.

Brian has a chicken suit which is a plot point around this time.

2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell vs. Pat Rose/JD Wolfe

Wolfe is half of PG-13 and I’ve heard Rose’s name before but I can’t place him. Scorpio and Rose get us started. Wolfe comes in and I really don’t think this is the same Wolfe. He’s a fat guy here while Wolfe of PG-13 was a cruiserweight style guy. Yeah this guy is just a jobber from what I can find. Scorpio hits a shoulder to put Wolfe down. Bagwell splashes him for two. Monkey flip sends Wolfe flying and a double elbow keeps him down. 450 ends this easily. Total and complete squash.

The winners and their manager Teddy say they want to face the Pauls next week.

Sting vs. Steve Austin

If this was 1998, the money would be through the roof. Austin is the new US Champion but doesn’t have the title on him. He does have words US Champion under his name in his graphic though. Austin takes him into the corner and taunts him early on. They fight over a top wristlock with Sting getting in a right hand. Austin complains but the referee doesn’t seem to care.

The fans are all behind Sting and yell at Parker the whole time. Sting takes over with a headlock and goes to the mat with it. Sting gets a backslide for two and Austin bails to the floor. Austin’s suplex is countered and Sting hooks a headlock. Sting goes up but gets crotched and Austin superplexes him for two. Sting comes back with a splash for two but his arm is hurting due to some quick arm work by Steve.

Steve goes after the arm so Sting hammers him in the head. Things speed up and Sting backdrops him a few times. Brian comes out and chases Parker around. He gets in the ring and beats up Austin for a DQ which is a shame because this was getting really good until that point. Sting was about to hook the Scorpion when it happened too.

Rating: B-. Sting vs. Austin doesn’t really need an explanation does it? Sting was still awesome and Austin was flying up the ladder every week. Then Hogan arrived and decided that he should be champion for a year and Austin should job to Jim Duggan for some reason. And the rest is history.

Parker says he’s not worried about Pillman and Austin had Sting beaten. He says he’ll be getting Rude involved for a tag match.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a pretty boring show but the main event was solid. This is still the feature show and we had a big main event. They were still a mostly squash show but the squashes were long and boring. Some of them were short thankfully but it’s still a pretty dull show. Austin vs. Sting more than makes up for it though.

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Monday Nitro – December 2, 1996 – Sting Wrestles

Monday Nitro #64
Date: December 2, 1996
Location: Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 3,800
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

We’ve got four Nitros to go before Starrcade and five to go before 1997. I can’t believe we’ve gotten this far but somehow here we are. The shows up until then are pretty much all build to Starrcade, as you would expect them to be. Also expect some more of the US Title Tournament to play out tonight. Let’s get to it.

The Steiners come out immediately and say they want to finish this with Sting tonight. We get a clip from last week of Sting attacking Rick.

Glacier vs. Hardbody Harrison

This is Glacier’s first match since October. I’m not quite sure why they stopped the character for that long but it didn’t do him any favors. Harrison was actually in a big lawsuit against WCW where he said he was discriminated against for being black. In reality, he was a jobber and that’s about it. Glacier wins in like a minute with a spin kick.

Some Cincinnati Bengals are here as well as a minor league hockey team.

Amazing French Canadians vs. Joe Gomez/Renegade

Gomez and Jacques get things going here and things break down quickly. Gomez is thrown to the floor and Parker stomps him for a bit. Hogan vs. Piper has been upgraded to the match of the millennium. Things break down again and there’s the hot tag (with a mild pop) to the Renegade. He hits the handspring elbow in the corner but the Canadians take him down with ease and the Cannonball off the top ends this.

Rating: D. Why the Quebecers were here is beyond me but they were also in the WWF for awhile after this so who knows. Nothing to see here but it’s nice to see actual jobbers like Gomez and Renegade. They’re better than guys like Heath Slater….somehow. Anyway, not much here but it got the Canadians on TV for some reason.

Arn Anderson says he’s known Piper for a long time and that Hogan can be beaten, which he’s proven before. Flair told Anderson that Piper was the toughest fight he’s ever had and Anderson believes him. Piper is focused and Piper will give him a receipt. This is said over an NWO chant. Piper will be here next week.

Faces of Fear vs. Robert Gibson/Scotty Riggs

Barbarian pounds Riggs down quickly as we get a split screen of Bagwell joining the NWO last week and the NWO destroying the Faces of Fear and Harlem Heat. Off to Gibson as they work on the arm of Barbarian. Meng comes in and double teaming puts him down also. Meng takes over with the power game and the Faces of Fear hit their backdrop into a powerbomb spot to a big reaction.

A piledriver basically kills Riggs dead but Gibson makes the save. Faces of Fear vs. Outsiders at Starrcade. Riggs finally gets a breather and brings in Gibson. An enziguri puts Barbarian down but after a distraction by Meng, Barbarian kicks Gibson’s head off for the academic pin.

Rating: D. Total dominance here as the Faces of Fear have no one else to beat up on before Starrcade I guess. Gibson’s time had passed so he went to the WWF with Morton soon after this. Riggs would flounder until Raven showed up and gave him something to do soon after this. The match was nothing though.

Riggs hits the Faces of Fear with a chair to make them leave.

We see some clips from the Baltimore house show that I mentioned before between Sullivan vs. Benoit. They fought everywhere and into the bathroom. The Dungeon of Doom came out of the stalls to beat Benoit up. Back in the ring, Woman came in to save Benoit.

Kevin Sullivan vs. K.C. Sunshine

James is just barely more famous as Sean Casey from OVW. You shouldn’t recognize that name. Total dominance as Taskmaster sends him outside twice in two minutes before winning with the Tree of Woe and double stomp.

Sullivan says that after Baltimore, Benoit is hurt. Sullivan is hurt too and he’s got a story for Benoit. Sometimes the sweetness wears off and even if he has to dig his own grave, either Sullivan or Benoit will be buried alive because it’s about three instead of two.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Billy Kidman

The winner gets Dragon for the title at Starrcade. Also the US Title tournament ends at Starrcade. Very technical match of course with both guys fighting for control on the mat. Dean is sent to the floor but avoids a plancha. A powerbomb on the floor takes Kidman down as Sonny Onoo comes out to take pictures.

Brainbuster gets two for Dean back in the ring. Kidman gets in some knees and a middle rope dropkick for two. They trade pinning combinations with both guys getting a few twos. The match gets fast paced so let’s talk about Piper vs. Hogan. A superplex takes Kidman down but Onoo flashes his camera in Dean’s face. It doesn’t really matter as the Shooting Star gets knees and the Cloverleaf ends this soon thereafter.

Rating: C+. Fun match but the ending didn’t really make a lot of sense. What was the point of Onoo cheating if Dean was going to win clean just a few seconds later? I don’t really get this one but it could have been a lot worse. These two had some good chemistry and Kidman was starting to get more regular time which is a good thing.

Big Bubba vs. Jeff Jarrett

Hour #2 begins. Jarrett speeds things up to frustrate Bubba so the power is used to take Jeff right back down. Bubba chokes him down on the ropes and Jimmy helps a bit. Bubba accidentally clocks Jimmy and Jeff goes up top for a cross body for two. The Figure Four is countered and Jimmy throws in the Megaphone but Bubba misses. Jeff rolls him up for one and then dropkicks the Megaphone into Bubba’s face for the pin instead of a DQ.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but was there a reason as to why there wasn’t a DQ in there? Either way, this wasn’t anything of note. The Dungeon was so worthless at this point other than as heel jobbers but they kept the feud going with the Horsemen for about six months as Benoit was wasted with Sullivan.

The Steiners call out Sting again. He pops up in the rafters and stares, as is his custom. Rick shouts up a challenge and Sting nods.

Here’s the NWO minus Hogan. They storm the announce desk and apparently they’ll be running things now. Eric and the Outsiders are doing commentary now and we get a clip from what looks like 1995 of Hogan beating up Vader. Now we see a clip from a few months ago of the NWO beating Flair down. Now it’s Hogan beating down Savage and spraypainting his outline.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Dave Taylor

Taylor takes over with European uppercuts to take Eddie down. A nice jumping headscissors takes Eddie down again and it’s off to a standing armbar. Eric says whoever wins the tournament has to defend against Giant. Eddie takes over, knocks Taylor down and the Frog Splash ends this quick.

Lee Marshall yells at Eric from Charlotte.

Arn Anderson vs. Jim Powers

Anderson sends him to the floor quickly and domination is on. Powers gets a cross body for two and Arn doesn’t seem thrilled by him hitting it. Anderson destroys him until Powers gets in his jobber offense, as in a clothesline and running kneelift. DDT ends this squash quickly.

US Title Tournament First Round: Chris Benoit vs. William Regal

This should be good. Regal is TV Champion. Chain wrestling to start as they get into a test of strength position and fight over the control for the opening minute. Both guys use some nice moves to take the other to the mat. I think Regal is busted open. The camera goes wide so I’d assume there’s something wrong. They pound on each other in the corner and the wide shot gets a little annoying.

Regal hammers on him for awhile but Benoit comes back with chops and a slam. The Swan Dive hits but Benoit can’t cover. The delayed cover gets two so Regal tries a tombstone. Benoit reverses into one of his own and Regal goes to the floor. A dive misses and Regal takes over again. They go up top and Regal hits a butterfly superplex for two. Benoit grabs a release German and Hall makes fun of the wide shot which we’ve never left. The Dragon Suplex pins Regal.

Rating: B-. The place popped big for the win but the camera angle got pretty annoying. It’s pretty clear that it was due to the blood on Regal’s head which is something you can’t get around. They hammered on each other for a good while here and the physical style was a nice change of pace from what you usually see on Nitro.

The other Horsemen say things are great and Anderson wants to know what’s up with Woman. Benoit says it’s cool but Anderson doesn’t buy it. Mongo gets on him for it too. Debra doesn’t like Woman (calling her Nancy) either. She goes on a LONG rant about how Woman is going to tear everything apart. Anderson is worried and tells Benoit to get this together.

Lex Luger vs. Rocco Rock

Hall and Nash rip into Luger the whole time as Grunge helps to choke away. Luger gets in a few shots but gets caught in the cheating again. Now repeat that for about a minute and a half. Lex finally wises up and keeps things in the middle of the ring and Rock doesn’t have a chance. Grunge interferes again but the team finally collides and Rock gets caught in the Rack for the tap out.

Rating: D. This was another short match and nothing really happened in it. It’s more about keeping Luger on TV until they get something to do with him. Public Enemy never really fit in WCW and it’s getting pretty clear at this point. They would actually stick around for almost two years which really surprised me when I looked it up.

Sting vs. Rick Steiner

Sting comes through the crowd as the NWO brags about how he’s their boy now. Sting has the bat but throws it away. He turns his back to Rick and Rick blasts him. Scott throws him back in and Rick pounds away. Death Drop kills Rick though and Sting picks up the bat and points it at both Steiners. He hands it to Rick and turns around but Scott stops the blast with it. Sting leaves.

Sting looks at the NWO and points the bat at them before leaving through the crowd.

The NWO brags about having Sting to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was better but without Hogan and Piper around, there isn’t much going on here. The problem the shows with and without Hogan and Piper have is like comparing The Rise and Fall of ECW to Forever Hardcore. In Rise and Fall you can see all this stuff but without it they talk about everything so highly that you want to see it. The problem is that you get tired of hearing of it after awhile because you can only get so far on the talking. Piper is back next week though so a lot of those problems will be solved then. Still a pretty decent show though.

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Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #6: A Very Fast One Hour Match

Clash of the Champions 6: Ragin Cajun
Date: April 2, 1989
Location: Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 5,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Hayes

Where do I begin with this one? First and foremost, this is on the same night as Wrestlemania 5 in a final attempt to sabatoge the WWF. The problem was that this ran against Savage vs. Hogan which if my memory is right was either the highest PPV buyrate ever or the second highest. The main event from WCW (NWA but we’ll keep things simple here) is Steamboat vs. Flair II in a 2/3 falls match with Steamboat defending his newly won title. Let’s get to it.

Also, 5,300 people in the Superdome? That place holds over 75,000 for football.

We see a lot of legends at a dinner or something last night. Big names like Muchnik, Thesz, O’Connor, Funk and Funk among others. Jim Herd talks about protecting the integrity of the NWA or some jazz like that. Turner had recently bought the company I think so the NWA’s days were numbered.

Terry Funk will be replacing Hayes for commentary on the main event.

We run down the card through a long video package. Or maybe this is just an opening video in general. This goes on a bit too long.

National anthem.

Midnight Express vs. Samoan Swat Team

Dangerously manages the Samoans here. This is his second team to beat Cornette and run him out of the NWA after the Original Midnight Express lost a loser leaves town match at Chi-Town Rumble. This version of the Samoans would become the Headshrinkers and are Samu and Fatu (Rikishi). It’s Samu vs. Lane to start us off and Samu misses a cross body. Lane’s gets two.

Off to Eaton who hits a missile dropkick and it’s back to Lane who controls. The Midnights are the faces here. Cornette pops Fatu with the tennis racket but doesn’t get caught so we keep going. Fatu comes in for a few seconds and it’s back to Samu again. We get heel miscommunication and the Samoans have a meeting on the floor. Hayes uses Monsoon’s line of saying this is a main event in any arena in the country. Except this one.

Back to Eaton vs. Samu and Eaton out moves him quickly. Samu is like screw this wrestling stuff and starts using power to take over. The Midnights tag in and out quickly. I didn’t even notice Eaton going out. The Midnights cheat but they’re good guys so they can get away with it here. Back to Eaton and this has been all Midnights so far.

The heels finally start cheating like good evil Samoans and Eaton is in trouble in the corner. Off to a chinlock/nerve hold as Eaton is taking a good beating. Fatu hits the kick to the face but it’s in the corner so it doesn’t look as good. Eaton avoids a shot and it’s hot tag to Lane. They double team the Samoans and ram their heads together which starts a fight between the Samoans.

Cornette hits a Samoan (you can’t tell them apart from behind) with the racket and Dangerously pops Lane I believe with his phone, allowing the Samoans to take over on Lane for a bit. Back to the nerve hold which eats up awhile. This is a long match as we’re approaching twenty minutes. Another Fatu superkick gets two. Lane finally avoids a middle rope headbutt and it’s a double tag to bring in Samu and Eaton.

Eaton hammers away but tries a double noggin knocker. Take a guess as to how that goes for him. Just guess. Lane gets back in and everything breaks down. Lane sends Fatu to the floor and the Rocket Launcher hits Samu. Cornette and Heyman get into it on the apron and the phone goes flying. Fatu clocks Eaton with it for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was ok but it wasn’t a classic or anything. The Samoans weren’t nearly as difficult to do anything as Rikishi would become but they were still something different than the Midnights were used to. Also with this being more about the managers than the teams, it became a bit harder to have heat out there. Still though, nothing bad.

Great Muta vs. Steve Casey

Casey is a jobber and Muta is one of the hottest acts in American wrestling at this point. Muta does a trance/meditation thing to start as Hayes makes fun of Oklahoma. Casey shows why he’s a jobber by charging at Muta. You deserve that mist you get you schmuck. Handspring elbow (Muta invented it) hits Casey and we hit the chinlock. Casey goes for the arm for a short arm scissors but Muta gets bored so he kicks Casey in the face.

Casey heads to the floor to clear his head but Gary Hart, Muta’s manager, rolls him back in so that Muta can hit a hard dropkick off the top. JR compares Muta to Sting which would be the feud that made Sting into a great in ring guy to go with his charisma. Muta hooks some freaky leglock and then a nerve hold. Casey tries something else so Muta hits a spin kick to kick Casey’s head off again.

Off to another nerve hold and this is starting to go too long. Casey gets what is probably the highlight of his match by hitting a clothesline to take Muta down. He hits a dropkick but Muta swats the second one away. Casey grabs his foot so Muta hits another SWEET spin kick to send Casey to the floor. A pescado and the handspring elbow on the floor continues the dominance and the Muta Moonsault (a quick one that stays low) ends this slaughter.

Rating: C+. It’s just a long squash but Muta was REALLY good back then. When he got to fight Sting for months on end, it was pure gold because Sting was actually able to keep up with Muta in the ring. As for this though, it was total dominance and Muta’s calmness throughout the match is a really great addition to his character as he knew he was better and didn’t sweat Casey at all, because he had no reason to.

Junkyard Dog vs. Butch Reed

This is an old Mid-South feud and New Orleans was a big Mid-South town so the fans are probably going to be way more into it than they should be. JYD has a band to bring him out. As in tubas and horns and such. It’s a very New Orleans style intro. Reed was in a singles push at this point and was kind of almost maybe sort of considering being put in the Horsemen to the point where he even held up four fingers at one point. That wouldn’t happen of course but he was probably the top candidate for it. He has Hiro Matsuda here though.

JYD takes over to start and Reed is on the floor quickly. Back in and Dog does his all fours headbutts to send Reed right back out. Dog hammers away some more until Reed pounds away to take over. This is almost all kicking and punches. Off to a chinlock by Reed and Dog makes his comeback. Both guys go down off a double clothesline. Reed goes up for his top rope shoulder but Dog gets his foot on the rope. Dog sends Reed into Matsuda and botches a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. This was so boring that it almost put me to sleep. Ok not really on the sleep thing but it was very dull. It’s your standard 80s kick and punch match which means it wasn’t interesting at all. Reed would go on to form Doom after this though while Dog would flounder for awhile before fading into obscurity.

Bob Orton vs. Dick Murdoch

Ross is way too excited for this match. They start on the mat with Orton firing off some fireman’s carry slams. You might almost say he’s adjusting Murdoch’s attitude. Murdoch puts on an armbar and the old school nature is very clear very quickly. Orton kips up to get out of it. Can his son do that? Dory Funk Jr. and Pat O’Connor are watching from the crowd. Murdoch has a wristlock on again and by that I mean he has it on for awhile.

Now it’s Orton with an armbar. Murdoch is the face here. I didn’t really know that either until Ross mentioned that the fans loved him. We’re still in the arm stuff here. Muchnick, Kiniski, Thesz and I believe Buddy Rogers are at ringside also. Five minutes in and the arm stuff is finally over. Orton pounds away but Murdoch is waking up in the corner. A dropkick puts Orton down and they brawl a bit more. Both try their finishers, but Murdoch has his foot tripped during the brainbuster and Gary Hart (Orton’s manager) holds the foot for the pin. Think of Mania 5 and the finish might sound familiar.

Rating: D. This was boring. The match is just under ten minutes long. 5 were spent in arm holds, 3 were spent brawling and 2 were spent on the finish. That doesn’t make for an interesting match at all. Murdoch and Orton were both old at this point and it was obvious that no one was interested in seeing this match other than maybe a bit for Murdoch.

World Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Road Warriors

It’s Rotunda/Williams here and the Warriors have the belts. Hawk vs. Rotunda starts us off. Mike isn’t in a good mood as he lost the TV Title to Sting the day before on TV. Off to Animal who cleans house including a powerslam to Williams. Hawk comes in and doesn’t do as well. I always thought Animal was the better of the two. To prove me right, Animal comes in and runs through both of them again.

The Varsity Club (Williams I think) pulls the top rope down and Animal tumbles to the floor. Off to a bearhug but Animal manages the tag. Teddy Long (referee) doesn’t see it so Hawk has to go out. This is important because at the same time, Rotunda comes in with no tag and Long allows it. Remember that. Williams comes back in and takes the leg out from Animal as JR explains the football strategy at play there.

The beating goes on for awhile longer with Animal getting close but not being able to make the tag. You’ve seen the same thing a million times before. It’s a good thing they’re letting Animal stay in there this long as when Hawk gets tired, he gets bad in a hurry. There’s the hot tag and Hawk cleans house. Everything breaks down and Animal accidentally tosses Long. Doomsday Device hits and Teddy won’t count. Williams comes in and rolls up Hawk and Teddy dives in for the absolute fastest three count you’ll ever see for the title change. His hand didn’t go above his shoulder on any of the counts.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here but the ending got Teddy out of being a referee and turned him into a manager. I think he took over the Skyscrapers just after this. The Road Warriors wouldn’t get close to the titles anymore after this and would leave for the WWF about a year later. The Freebirds would get the belts in a little over a month before a team called the Steiner Brothers took them in November.

The Warriors and their manager rant about the cheating.

Ranger Ross vs. Iron Sheik

Ross is a military themed guy and he repels from the ceiling. Sheik does the national anthem bit before the match and then jumps Ross before the bell. Ross gets beaten down and both guys get abdominal stretches. Ross gets a standing Mafia Kick but Rip Morgan, Sheik’s flag bearer, comes in for the DQ. JYD makes the save. This was nothing and I don’t think it led anywhere.

Flair says he’s ready and he’s awesome and all that jazz.

US Tag Titles: Rick Steiner/Eddie Gilbert vs. Kevin Sullivan/Dan Spivey

Steiner and Gilbert are champs here. Sullivan and Spivey are Varsity Club. That would break up later in the year. This is a rematch from yesterday on TV where the Varsity Club won. Oh and Missy Hyatt is with the champions. The challengers jump them to start and Spivey lets Gilbert up at two which even Hayes criticizes. The big beatdown is on and it’s all Varsity Club here.

They’re out on the floor now and Spivey rams Gilbert’s back into the post. Off to Sullivan now which only lasts a bit. A flying clothesline gets two for Spivey. Tree of Woe (not named that) to Gilbert but Sullivan tries it again with the second time failing. Here’s Steiner who beats up Spivey and hooks a belly to belly for two. Everything breaks down and Gilbert pops Sullivan with Missy’s loaded purse for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s really short because we have an hour long main event. This went nowhere because the time killed it but it wasn’t anything all that bad while they were in there. For no given reason (literally) the titles were vacated soon and weren’t won by anyone until a tournament in February, about 9 months later. This was fine.

NWA World Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Ric Flair

This is 2/3 falls with a 60 minute time limit. As usual, Flair comes out with women while Steamboat has his son and wife. The son is in a dragon costume. The belt looks good on Ricky. Then again that belt looks good on almost anyone. Except Ronnie Garvin but that goes without saying. Flair has the always awesome black robe here. I miss that thing. Terry Funk is on commentary instead of Hayes which is the very beginning of the next world title feud once this ends.

They hit the mat quickly and MAN are they fast down there. Steamboat gets a very hard chop and the fans are buzzing over it. Flair works the arm as they’re going slow to start. The difference between this and Orton vs. Murdoch: this is going to go somewhere else. I have a feeling the other one wouldn’t have if they had 40 minutes to work with. Flair hits the floor and says come out here.

Steamboat grabs a headlock and they chop it out. By that I mean they hit each other so hard you can hear the skin slap every time. Steamboat speeds things up and it’s back to the mat with the headlock. Dropkick gets two for Steamboat. We’re ten minutes in now. The US and TV title matches might be on but we’re not sure. For some reason they were scheduled later. Neither will wind up airing but they’re nothing of note anyway. Sting and Luger both retain over Rip Morgan and Jack Victory respectively.

Back to the mat now and Steamboat controls with a front facelock. Flair tries to fight back but gets chopped down for two. They have a ton of time here so they’re definitely in slow mode. Flair heads to the floor and there’s the Flair Flop outside. We get an explanation of how the other title matches will air on Saturday’s TV show if necessary. I like that and the reason being is they wanted to make sure this gets the full time limit if they need it.

We’re 15 minutes in and they chop away hard. Steamboat puts Flair down with a double shot for two. Flair blocks a splash with knees and goes to work on the ribs. Butterfly suplex gets two. Steamboat keeps kicking out as Flair has a test of strength grip while Steamboat is on the mat. They chop it out but Steamboat misses a dropkick in a nice bit of psychology. Steamboat counters a Figure Four attempt into a small package but Flair reverses into one of his own for the first fall at just shy of twenty minutes.

Back with the second fall after a brief rest period. Steamboat takes over quickly and hits a top rope chop to the head for two. Funk says this is like his brother vs. Brisco. Now that is a compliment. Flair misses his knee drop and Steamboat goes after the other leg. He drops SIXTEEN elbows on it and slaps on the Figure Four (ON THE CORRECT LEG!!!). Flair finally grabs the ropes but he’s in trouble.

Flair avoids another Figure Four but gets caught in a Boston Crab at what sounded like the 25 minute mark. He gets to the rope again but he’s still in big trouble. Flair fires a few shots off but we go down into the backslide reversal spot which I’m sure you all are familiar with. They hit the floor and Steamboat goes into the railing. We’re at thirty minutes now and Flair suplexes Steamboat over the top for two.

Abdominal stretch time by Flair and he even rolls Steamboat up for two while still holding onto it. Steamboat gets beaten on a bit more until Flair goes up top, only to get crotched and superplexed for two. Out of nowhere Steamboat grabs a double chickenwing hold (think the position for the Glam Slam but he holds Flair in place) for a submission to tie us up at a fall apiece.

After a quick break Flair is spent but Steamboat gets poked in the eye so he can’t follow up at the thirty five minute mark. There’s the second Flair Flop in about a minute. They chop it out but Flair grabs….something that we can’t see since the camera angle was really bad for a bit. It was a leg move whatever it was. The Figure Four goes on quickly but Steamboat grabs the ropes even faster.

Steamboat fires back even more chops and Flair gets taken down as he tries to do the Flair Flip in the corner and run up the other corner spot. Flair rolls Steamboat up and puts his feet on the ropes for two. We have twenty minutes left in the time limit. Flair works on the knee even more and there’s the Figure Four. Steamboat taps like crazy but that doesn’t mean anything for a few years.

The hold is finally broken and Flair goes up top again for a cross body for two. Steamboat tries to slam him but can’t hold him due to the leg work. We have 15 minutes left. Steamboat’s cross body gets two as does a sunset flip for the champion. Flair throws on a sleeper which is the logical idea here, although I don’t ever recall it winning a match in this situation.

Steamboat manages to send Flair into the corner and out of the ring to get a break. We hit the 50 minute point as JR makes fun of the WWF by saying they’re not coming out to music and posing. Flair goes after the knee again but Steamboat chops away. Just because irony is fun, Steamboat poses after coming out to music. The NWA doesn’t do that right? The champ lowers his head and Flair pops him in the back and hooks a suplex for no cover.

We have six minutes left and Flair goes up for no apparent reason. After the legally required slam, it’s time for the screwy (but legal) finish. Steamboat goes back to the double chickenwing but his leg gives out. It’s almost like a tiger suplex at this point and Steamboat pops his shoulder up at the last minute to have Flair pinned.

Rating: A. Hard to argue with this one as it wasn’t an iron man match so the time limit was just there to give it a cap on the ending. Everything makes sense and the psychology flows very nicely with both guys having the injuries from earlier in the match come into play later on, especially in the ending. This was great stuff and while you could probably cut out some of it, it’s still good stuff.

HOWEVER, we have an issue. Flair’s foot was in the ropes during the pinfall, meaning we have an unclear finish. Steamboat is in the back and sees it and exactly as you would expect from him, he’s totally calm about it and says Flair has a legit complaint and needs to talk to someone about it. This set up match #3 at Wrestle War which is allegedly the best of the trilogy, although I’ve always liked Chi-Town Rumble best.

Overall Rating
: B. When you have a three hour show and one hour of it is spent in a very good match, it’s hard to say this isn’t a good show. The question then is how good is it. The middle of the show isn’t that great but it’s not the worst show you’ll see. Steamboat vs. Flair is always worth seeing, but I think this might be the least interesting of their series, which might be because the title didn’t change. Still though, good old fashioned NWA stuff here before they got silly.

 

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