Smackdown
Date: February 3, 2012
Location: Qwest Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Well I’m another year older and Smackdown hopefully is a little better than last week. Last year there really weren’t any long matches to be seen. Bryan is still champion and tonight we find out who he’ll be defending against inside the Smackdown Elimination Chamber. I think I like the three week build better for this as the match is set tonight so what’s the point in drawing it out when the Chamber sells the show? Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is too much cake.

Teddy is in the ring to open the show. He says there’s going to be a Smackdown Elimination Chamber match as well and here are the participants: Bryan, Barrett, Big Show, Rhodes, Orton, Henry. Those are the top guys on the roster so I can’t really argue with them. After Teddy gives us a brief explanation of the rules, here’s Henry. He complains about having a one in six chance at the PPV and demands a title match one on one tonight. Teddy says be thankful you’re in after losing the cage.

He follows that up by saying Henry is out of the Chamber and gets no title match tonight. Henry gets in Teddy’s face so Teddy suspends him indefinitely. Henry says that if he’s suspended, he’s going to earn it and grabs Long’s tie. Cue Sheamus who makes the save. They stare each other down and Sheamus kicks his head off and Henry heads to the floor.

Henry leaves and Teddy asks Sheamus if he knows which champion he’ll face at Mania. Sheamus isn’t sure yet but will announce it after the Chamber. Cue Cody who says he did all the work in the Rumble and eliminated the most people but Sheamus got the win and the glory. Cody is going to take that momentum into the Chamber and become the first dual champion since the Ultimate Warrior. Teddy makes Sheamus vs. Rhodes right now.

Cody Rhodes vs. Sheamus

This is joined in progress after a break but I don’t think we missed much. Cody tries to come out of the corner but gets caught in a rolling fireman’s carry slam. Out to the floor with Sheamus still in control. Cody manages to dropkick him into the post and hits the Beautiful Disaster off the barricade. Moonsault press gets two for Cody and he hooks a crossface kind of move. Sheamus fires back and a powerslam gets two. They go up and Sheamus knocks Cody off and hits the flying shoulder. Brogue Kick misses as does the Beautiful Disaster and Sheamus loads up the move Finlay called the Celtic Cross for the pin at 5:17.

Rating: C. Was there really a reason for Sheamus to get another finisher? What exactly was wrong with kicking the guy’s head off? Anyway, good match to get Sheamus more momentum, although I could have gone without them having Cody lose again. Sheamus is the bigger star, but there are others he could do this to.

Cody is still at ringside after the break.

Justin Gabriel vs. Hunico

No match as Cody runs in for the beatdown and is joined by Hunico and Camacho. Khali comes out for the save. Hunico takes the Pubjabi Plunge.

Drew is in the back and Teddy says it’s too predictable when Drew is in the ring. Why does Drew have a job still? He leaves and Santino comes in. Santino comes in and suggests a new tag team: SantinHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Duggan comes in and we get stereo USA/ITALIA chants. They leave and Aksana comes in. Sex jokes are made and Duggan says HOOOOOOOO!

Mike Tyson Hall of Fame video.

Santino Marella/Jim Duggan vs. Epico/Hunico

Epico vs. Santino gets us going. Off to Duggan quickly who does nothing of note but clothesline. Back to Santino who does all of his usual stuff. Santino loads up Cobra but Rosa distracts him and the Backstabber from Primo ends him at 2:42.

Back from a break and Cole is in the ring to interview the champ. Cole says that he doesn’t like to admit it, but Bryan survived. Bryan takes the mic and says this is about him. He succeeded on Sunday and calls himself a role model. Bryan talks about how being a vegan is a good thing and the fans are killing themselves by eating meat. He says he’s healthier than everyone in the building without clogged arteries and a lack of heart failure. Everyone should be a vegan but the fans say he sucks.

It isn’t fair that he has to be in the Elimination Chamber, especially against someone that he’s dominated like Big Show. Big Show is a failure in both the ring and in life due to him running over AJ. If Teddy doesn’t take him out of the Chamber, Bryan is going to the Board of Directors and Teddy may join Johnny Ace on the unemployment line. So Ace is officially gone?

Cue Big Show who says he would have been here sooner but he was in the back finishing a steak. Bryan has been calling himself a role model but it doesn’t matter if you tell people that. Show says Bryan has been lucky and a pompous jerk. After the Chamber, he’ll still be a jerk but he won’t be champion anymore. Bryan pokes him in the chest and says that he’s overcome the odds over and over again. Show goes right at him and the beating is on. He chokeslams Bryan and AJ comes out in a neckbrace. She stops the big right hand and leaves. Bryan promises to keep her safe.

Beth and Natalya are doing Hindu squats and the stupid joke/gimmick that Natalya started last week continues. Give me a break.

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Tamina/Aksana

Glam Slam pins Aksana in 43 seconds.

Tamina breaks up a Sharpshooter by Natalya post match with a superkick and hits a Superfly Splash to leave her holding her ribs.

Don’t be a bully.

Great Khali will replace Henry in the Chamber.

Five minute video on how awesome John Cena is.

Orton says he’ll win the Chamber match and beat whomever he has to beat.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

This is no disqualification. Bryan and AJ are watching from the back. They brawl to start as Booker calls Barrett a future Hall of Famer. Orton takes over with a suplex and hits the Stomp. Out to the floor and Barrett throws him into the barricade. Orton throws him back in and pulls out a table as we take a break. Back with Orton trying a superplex and being countered by Barrett who shoves him through it for two.

Barrett goes after the bad back of Orton by bending it around the post. Orton has his back rammed into the apron and they go back inside. Barrett hits a bunch of knees and a big boot to knock Randy right back to the floor. They go into the crowd for a bit with Orton hammering on Barrett even more. Back to ringside and Orton jumps off the apron with a double ax to the head.

Wade manages to reverse Orton into the steps and take over. He brings in a chair and tries for Wasteland but Orton escapes and clotheslines Barrett down. Now Orton gets the chair and pops Barrett over the back with it a bunch of times. The chair is wedged between the top and middle rope and Orton whips Barrett into it.

A dropkick puts Barrett down and they head to the floor again. Barrett takes more of a beating and back inside Orton hits the Elevated DDT. RKO is countered into the Winds of Change for two. Barrett loads up a pumphandle slam onto the chair but Orton counters and hits an RKO. He doesn’t cover though and moves the chair to the middle of the ring. RKO onto the chair ends this at 13:51 shown of 17:21.

Rating: C+. This was long and more of a beating by Orton than a match. I’m not sure why they had Barrett get taken down so hard here but it’s a pretty definitive ending to this feud. The match was fine and it’s not like Orton has destroyed Barrett the entire feud or anything. I liked it well enough and it was fine for a long TV main event.

AJ and Bryan are in the back and Teddy makes Bryan vs. Orton for next week. Bryan tells AJ to stay here where it’s safe and watch this. Bryan comes to the ring and celebrates while Orton is posing. The champ leaves and the celebration in the aisle ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It was a better show than last week and we definitely launched towards Elimination Chamber pretty strong. I like them having a lot of the Chamber guys in matches beforehand as you get good matches out of it and the matches have a built in backstory. The show was better than last week but not exactly a classic. Oh and on a side note: there was a Brodus match taped but there was no sign of it here.

Results
Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes – Inverted Emerald Flosion
Epico/Primo b. Jim Duggan/Santino Marella – Backstabber to Marella
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. Tamina/Aksana – Glam Slam to Aksana
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO onto a chair

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Monday Nitro #63
Date: November 25, 1996
Location: Wimomico Civic Center, Salisbury, Maryland
Attendance: 3,278
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Back to WCW here as we’re into the Eric Is Evil period. We’re also a night after World War 3 which Giant won, earning him a world title shot. Other than that there isn’t much else to report from the show, especially not like a 6 page review of it. We’re on the road to Starrcade now, which will wind up being another non-title main event. Let’s get to it.

We open with the opening sequence which still has Hogan in it in the red and yellow.

Tony and Larry talk about the contract signing between Roddy and Hogan. It’s officially signed for Starrcade. We also start a US Title Tournament tonight.

US Title Tournament First Round: Arn Anderson vs. Lex Luger

That’s quite an opener. They slug it out to start and Lex knocks him to the floor very quickly off an attempted shoulder block. Arn has taped ribs. Back in and Lex works on the arm, instead of going after the ribs which his finisher focuses on. Has there ever been a smart muscle guy? The arm work goes on for awhile and the fans aren’t all that thrilled with it.

Anderson fires off some shoulders to the ribs of Lex. Luger kicks Anderson in the ribs and then goes right back to the arm. When Larry Zbyszko is telling you that you’re missing the point, you know you’re in trouble. That’s not a knock on Larry, but he rarely went past pointing out the obvious. We take a break and come back with Lex breaking a chinlock. Arn keeps up the offense and we go to the floor.

Anderson almost punches the post but stops himself just in time. Lex grabs him and slams Arn’s back into the post then into the ring. It only took him about eight minutes to get the idea. Back in a suplex puts Arn down and Lex calls for the Rack. Instead we hear Giant talking about how he’s the US Champion which is the most wanted title in the world. Lex and Arn keep at their usual stuff and Lex can’t quite Rack him. They go to the floor where Lex manages to Rack him. It’s a double countout.

Rating: D+. This was a far better match once Luger realized he had a brain and worked on the body part that was injured coming in. Giant getting involved didn’t really add anything to the match but he’ll probably be popping up for the rest of the tournament. Arn was on the verge of being gone and his last regular singles match would be in January.

We get some stills of Dragon vs. Mysterio last night where Dragon kept the J-Crown. We get the same from Jericho beating Patrick, which I think was the NWO’s first loss, if you consider Patrick an official member at this point. Jarrett lost to Giant as well and Sting beat Jarrett up.

Here’s the NWO but I don’t see Hogan. Bischoff talks about being powerbombed in Baltimore back before Hogan joined. He realized that he wanted to be part of the power rather than consumed by it. A few days later, he met with Hall and Nash and joined up. As for the guys in the back, everyone has 30 days to transfer their WCW contracts to NWO contracts or they’re voided.

As for Piper, don’t get out of hand or deal with Bischoff. As for the US Title, possession is 9/10 of the law. The American Males come out and Bagwell joins the NWO. Bagwell takes Riggs out and the fans cheer for the NWO.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Disco Inferno

Page takes him down immediately and crotches him on the top rope. Disco grabs a pair of swinging neckbreakers and that’s about the extent of his offense. Page spins around the shoulders and wins with the Diamond Cutter. Just a squash here.

Page talks about how it’s clear why the NWO wants him but he isn’t in it yet. As for being friends and neighbors with Hall, Nash and Bischoff, that doesn’t mean he’s a member either. He doesn’t seem thrilled with Eric’s recent actions though.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Tony Pena

Pena is more famous as Villano IV but he’s out of the mask here. Regal grabs the arm to start but Pena flips out of it. Regal flips out of that as well and takes over again. Pena gets in a few shots and a DDT for two. Regal easily takes him down and the Regal Stretch ends this. Nothing to see here.

Rick Steiner, being seen for the first time in months, says he and his brother have been in Japan. He says the Steiners are WCW but he wants to know what’s up with Sting.

US Title Tournament First Round: Konnan vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie speeds things up and sends Konnan to the floor. There’s his signature big dive to the outside to give him control. Hour #2 begins and Tony walks up to the broadcast booth. Konnan comes back with the rolling clothesline and chokes in the corner. Konnan takes him to the mat and then powerbombs him for two. Fisherman’s DDT gets the same.

Eddie comes back but Konnan stops him with a gutwrench bomb for two. Off to a leg lock as Brain compares the Guerreros to the Three Stooges. Konnan goes up but jumps into a dropkick. Eddie goes for the Frog Splash but Konnan pops up and a superplex gets two as Konnan picks him up. He sets for the Power Drop but Eddie rolls out of it and lands on Konnan for the pin to advance.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match at all here with Eddie really getting to showcase himself around this time. Konnan picking him up was kind of an odd choice for him but I don’t think he was ever a cerebral guy. They did a decent fast paced match here and Konnan busted out some decent power moves, which is stuff he isn’t that remembered for but did pretty often.

We get some more stills from last night.

Big Bubba vs. Rick Steiner

Bubba takes over quickly but Rick hammers him to the floor and drops a double axe on the top of his head. Back in the ring an elbow drop gets two. There’s a German for two. Sting pops up at the top of the arena and comes down the steps. The Steiner Bulldog hits but Rick knocks Bubba to the floor instead. Sting comes through the crowd and hops the railing. He lays Rick out with the Death Drop and Bubba gets a splash for the pin. Not enough to rate but it was there for the storyline rather than the match.

Lee Marshall is in Dayton this week. Apparently he got beaten up last night.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psicosis

Ultimo Dragon comes out to watch. Feeling out process to start and Psicosis throws him over the top. That isn’t a DQ for whatever their reason is this week. Back in the guillotine legdrop gets two. Psicisos tries Splash Mountain but Rey hits his signature rana out of it for the pin. This was uncharacteristically short for a cruiserweight match.

Time for the Hogan/Piper contract signing from the night before. This is straight footage from the PPV so I’ll be copying and pasting it from that review.

Piper comes out with a contract in his hand. Bobby suggests that Piper is a bigger movie star than Hogan. I’ll leave that for you guys. Bischoff, Vincent and DiBiase come out sans Hogan. The next night Bischoff would say either join us or have your contracts voided which went nowhere but it got Bagwell to join.

Bischoff has power of attorney for Hogan so he can sign for Hogan. In a great bit of continuity, Piper shoves Vincent aside and tells him that he taught Vincent how to fight. Piper trained Vincent (Virgil in case that doesn’t ring a bell) to fight for his first match back in 1991. Piper says he can wear a leather jacket because he’s tough enough to unlike Bischoff. Piper really does come off as a tough guy here and this really did feel big. The problem was he actually had to wrestle.

Piper more or less says he doesn’t care about a count out or a DQ but just winning and here’s Hogan, Liz, Hall, Nash, Syxx and Giant. Bobby thinks Piper is outnumbered. I wonder if it was the 9-1 odds that made him think that. Hogan gets on the mic and lifts Piper’s skirt, showing the scar Piper has from a hip replacement. Why not just hold a big sign above their heads saying OLD GUYS?

Hogan signs the contract which Piper brought with him. For no apparent reason the match was NON title and when Piper won with a sleeper, he didn’t win the title. To say the fans were ticked would be an understatement. Piper jumps Hogan but gets caught. Hogan gets a chair and hits the weakest chair shot ever to the scar. Good to see the NWO is only taking ten minutes on this segment.

Alex Wright vs. Jeff Jarrett

They fight over a wristlock to start as the announcers talk about Hogan vs. Piper non-stop. Wright speeds things up which is like Kryptonite to a Memphis guy. Jarrett hits a snake eyes to break the momentum but Wright hits a spinwheel kick (first move called by the announcers at 90 seconds in) and a slingshot splash for two. A side kick misses in the corner though and the Figure Four ends this. Not much here but Wright was always someone I liked watching.

We go over some stills of the battle royal last night with the ending being Luger vs. five members of the NWO and eliminating all but Giant, who he did manage to Rack.

Faces of Fear vs. Harlem Heat

Stevie vs. Meng to start us off. Meng pounds him down and they be clubberin Tony! A big boot from Ray takes him down and the Harlem Side Kick drops Barbarian. In a really impressive move, Meng backdrops Booker into a powerbomb by Barbarian. That looked awesome. Everything breaks down quickly but it settles into Meng vs. Booker. Stevie comes in to kick Meng in the head which doesn’t have much effect. They go to the floor and the NWO runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not much here but the point of it was to have a bunch of guys out there so that the NWO could run in. It wasn’t bad for the most part and a power brawl is always worth at least a glance. The Faces of Fear would get a mild push until the end of the year and I’ve heard far worse ideas. Having some Island Monsters is a tried and true method for a tag team so why not them?

The NWO beats down all four of them and Tony makes a statement: “There is no way WCW can beat down a gang like this.” The NWO here is Vincent, Syxx, Hall, Nash, Giant and Bagwell. That’s a formidable team, but WCW’s roster has what, let’s say 30 guys? Are you telling me that five guys apiece can’t take down Vincent or Bagwell? I get that the NWO was smart, but why did it take years for WCW to just send the whole locker room out there and beat the stuffing out of the NWO? I get why you can’t do that from a booking perspective, but why not from a kayfabe perspective? Was that ever answered? Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t a horrible show but it was more about holding the fort than anything else. They have awhile before Starrcade and without Hogan and Piper here, there wasn’t much going on. Bagwell joining didn’t mean much and neither did the whole contract issue as I think it only added a handful of new guys if that. Nothing great tonight but it certainly wasn’t a bad show.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Clash of the Champions 5: St. Valentine’s Day Massacre
Date: February 15, 1989
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Magnum TA

I was going to do a WCW Saturday Night but it was partially cut off so I took it off my list and you get this instead. This is a buildup show to Chi-Town Rumble which means that other than the world title match, there isn’t much to build up to. The main event is for the six man titles, which actually did exist. There’s probably a reason you’re not familiar with them though. Let’s get to it.

Steamboat is ready for tonight.

Magnum and Jim talk about the US Tag Title match, which is under Freebird Rules. The main event is Sting/JYD/Michael Hayes vs. the LOD/Tenryu for the six man titles.

Midnight Express vs. Russian Assassins

We hear the director tell the announcer to talk. The Russians combine to weigh 288lbs. I don’t think that’s correct. If nothing else we get to hear the Express’ music which is still awesome. Lane starts with let’s say #1. One of them is Jack Victory and the other is Angel of Death. JR says that Russian #1 weighs 330lbs, kind of disproving the combined 288. Lane fires off his kicks and it’s quickly off to Bobby for some arm work.

And here’s a random kid in the crowd wearing sunglasses. The cameramen in this era had some odd tendencies to jump around like that. Off to Lane vs. #2 and we look at more fans. Bobby is already back in and they’re tagging very fast. Lane is back in and we get an inset promo from Paul E about the Midnight Express vs. Midnight Express match on Monday at the PPV.

Bobby escapes the heel corner and Paul jumps in on commentary. Well in theory he does as JR introduced him but there’s no Dangerously. Cornette and the Russian manager Paul Jones almost get into a fight. Ok now Dangerously is here. He talks about his game plan which is to speed things up. Cornette BLASTS an Assassin with the tennis racket and dances a bit.

Lane beats up #2 and the Assassins hit the floor for a powwow. They switch on the floor because they’re Russians and therefore evil. Lane is playing Ricky Morton here which is ironic if nothing else. Off to a bearhug by let’s say #1. #2 comes in and hooks a snap suplex and a bearhug of his own. Why is that such a Russian move? The Assassin looks like he’s resting his head on Lane’s chest.

Stan escapes and misses something that looked like a front flip attack into the corner. Cross body gets one on the Assassin. The other one comes in as Lane stays on defense. A Russian misses something and everything breaks down. There’s the tag to Eaton and he manages to hit the Rocket Launcher for the pin on we’ll say #2.

Rating: D+. Long and not all that good. The Midnigts were awesome but this wasn’t their best year. The match was a bit longer than they needed, but this is a two and a half hour show so they needed to fill in the time somehow. That would become very evil in the next match. Be afraid as well as warned.

Ricky Steamboat says he’s back in the NWA to fight for America and the family way against bad stuff like drugs. O…..k. He’s having a tuneup match tonight. We get a clip from a Flair vs. Steamboat brawl. Steamboat wins and rips Flair’s clothes off.

Steven Casey vs. Butch Reed

Casey is an NWA career jobber that never did anything. Reed appears to be popular here but I don’t remember him ever being a face. Casey takes over to start with some speed stuff and hooks an armbar. While he does let it go a bit, he goes back to it over and over again. After about two minutes it’s broken and let’s look at the crowd. Reed stalls and here’s another fan. Then Reed stalls again. Now Reed works on the arm to mix things up a bit.

Casey is undefeated. Good for him. Now he reverses into an armbar of his own. This is looking like a LONG one people. Reed fights up, gets punched down, and it’s an armbar again. Butch goes to the floor and now it’s time for a test of strength. Casey, a blonde idiot, accepts the challenge against a guy who was billed as one of the strongest in the NWA. Casey goes down but eventually counters into, you guessed it, the armbar.

Ok this is something I talk about a lot but usually the opposite. There are a lot of people that work on limbs because it’s a very basic psychology move. The key thing though is that interesting guys mix up their attacks. Casey, a guy that had about two matches in his televised career that people can find, both of which are loses to bigger names on COTCs, is doing the same thing over and over again and it’s REALLY boring. It’s so simple yet a lot of people don’t get it.

Reed pounds him down and here’s a chinlock for some excitement. Casey gets up (finally) and tries to speed things up but he gets sent to the floor to slow things down again. A dropkick by Casey misses so let’s look at the fans again….AND BACK TO THE CHINLOCK. Reed puts a foot on the rope (the bottom one) but it doesn’t really add anything here. This is supposed to be building up Reed for Sting at the PPV. I really don’t want to see that match now so that’s a failure so far.

Casey fights back and even his punches in the corner are boring. A monkey flip puts Reed down and there are a pair of dropkicks. Reed grabs a gorilla press and again he slows things down. Dude, JUST GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY. And then he finally does with a top rope shoulder block for the pin at SEVENTEEN AND A HALF MINUTES. I’ve seen world title matches at Wrestlemania that didn’t go that long!

Rating: S. Seventeen and a half minutes for what can only be called a squash. Seriously, that’s what this was. Casey was a jobber (arguably to the stars) and he got almost twenty minutes to get beaten up by Reed. You know, other than those times where he unleashed the power of the armbar. Just awful and let this be a lesson to you: just because a match goes long, it does NOT mean it was good.

Here’s Flair and the army of women. He talks about how he’ll keep the title because he’s the champ and gets whatever he wants. Flair is in a fur coat and has the girls show off a bit. It’s the best thing going today don’t you know. He calls out Steamboat (sign of the times: you can barely understand him because the equipment isn’t that great) and here he is. Flair shows off the women and makes fun of Steamboat for being with the same woman every night.

Steamboat says he despises everything that Flair stands for and how he represents the NWA. Flair brags about all of his stuff like his suit and coat. Flair says go home and help the wife with the dishes and it’s on. Steamboat rips the clothes off again as Bob Caudle just kind of stands around. Why does Flair always wind up in just his underwear? Is it a running rib that I just don’t get? This eats up a few minutes. Hiro Matsuda, Flair’s manager, helps but Steamboat fights them off and they brawl into the crowd. Man those are loud chops. Steamboat wins and puts on Flair’s suit.

Lex Luger vs. The Blackmailer

It’s Jack Victory in another mask. Luger gets a US Title shot at the PPV and get it for the second time. That isn’t his huge 19 month reign though. He would lose the belt and win it back 15 days later. Can you tell I’m trying to fill space before we get to this? Is the Blackmailer really the best name they can come up with? Doesn’t he need to have blackmail on someone for that whole idea to work? Luger throws him around with raw power to start and here’s a fan. Seriously, what is the deal with that?

They exchange headlocks and Lex looks bored. A shoulder puts Blackmailer on the floor. Matsuda is here as well to try to scout Luger or something. Belly to belly takes down Luger but he pops right back up. For a change of pace, here’s a headlock on the mat. Powerslam puts Blackmailer down. This is just DRAGGING. Back to the headlock instead of a cover or going for a finish.

Lex gets clotheslined to the floor and this is done. I don’t mean it’s a DQ but this is just not going to recover and the show is officially done. There’s nothing left they can do to get a show out of it worth anything. Naturally, we have almost an hour to go. Blackmailer stomps him off the apron and MY GOODNESS JUST GET TO THE ENDING ALREADY!!! A sunset flip for Lex gets two and Blackmailer beats him down again.

Time for MORE CHINLOCKS. I know Victory has already had a nearly 15 minute tag match and now this but hey, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN SOMEONE ELSE TO BE IN THIS MATCH. Lex finally fights out of it with a suplex and Hulks Up. After hitting basic power stuff, Barry Windham’s (the US Champion) superplex gets the pin.

Rating: F. I just got done watching my Cowboys lose to the Giants and now I get to see this? This was another thirteen minutes of this show that just will not go away and die like it needs to do. There’s just nothing here at all and the show should have ended a few hours ago, but here it is, still going.

Rick Steiner, who is a bit crazy and TV Champion, talks about his rematch with Rotundo at the PPV. Alex, a face drawn on his hand, will have his back.

US Tag Titles: Varsity Club vs. Fantastics

Williams and Sullivan are the champions but Rotundo is taking Sullivan’s place because he can. I’ve always liked the Fantastics so maybe this can get things going a tiny bit. Rotundo vs. Rodgers to start us off. And now let’s stall a lot. Here are more fans for those of you watching for them. Rotundo rides him on the mat for awhile and we hear that the Varsity Club wants to win by submission. Ok then.

Rodgers grabs a headlock and a clothesline gets two. Off to Williams who as I’ve explained is kind of the Brock Lesnar of his day. The Fantastics double team him with a double dropkick until it’s off to just Fulton. Williams easily takes him to the mat and hooks a chinlock, the move of the night. Rick Steiner in an inset interview says that he’ll be ready for Rotundo in Chicago. Steiner would lose the title, but he’d start a little tag team to fill in his time after that.

Back to….the fans. Rotundo is back in…and never mind he’s back out again. Rodgers’ dropkick is no sold and Williams mauls him a bit. Fulton pounds on Rotundo in the corner a bit but Williams shoves him to the floor. We get the classic referee misses the tag spot so Williams can keep beating on him even more. Williams does his always awesome gorilla press spot, where he lifts Fulton up a bunch of times in a row.

Oklahoma Stampede, Williams’ running powerslam out of the corner, is blocked and there’s the hot tag to Rodgers. He hits a middle rope fist and Williams is in a little bit of trouble. Everything breaks down and Fulton comes back in illegally. Rodgers hits a top rope cross body but Rotundo gets in a shot to the back of Rodgers for the cheating pin.

Rating: D. This was BY FAR the best match of the night so far and even it was pretty bad. The Fantastics were in over their heads will Williams who was just a machine at this point. The Club was almost done at this point but they were still a pretty solid force. Anyway though, not much here, although way better than anything else on the show up to this point.

Bob Bradley vs. Ricky Steamboat

Bradley is only somewhat known as Battle Kat from WWF. He was a weird flying guy but really bad and in a mask that would make a six year old’s work look great by comparison. Ricky’s wife and kid are here with him so I wonder how it’ll go. Steamboat knocks him to the floor with his chops and punches but Bradley gets a few slams to take over. The fans want Flair.

Bradley goes to the floor and gets in some more shots. This is going NOWHERE at all. Bradley is nothing new at all and is as generic as they come. He goes into the middle buckle and it’s off to the armbar. Here’s a not very good looking blonde in the crowd. She has nothing to do with this but we see her anyway. After a bunch of armbars, Bradley misses a top rope splash and the top rope cross body ends this.

Rating: D. Another dull match that was just another squash but at least this one was only a few minutes long as opposed to going on forever. Flair of course would win the title from Flair on Monday, but would only hold the belt for about two and a half months. That’s often forgotten: he barely had the title for long at all before Flair got it back.

Rip Morgan vs. Rick Steiner

Steiner is the TV Champion but this is non-title. Morgan’s thing is he’s from New Zealand and he used to work for the Sheepherders. Both guys are insane so this is going to be, uh, different. Rotundo says he was embarrassed by Steiner but he’ll get the title back on Monday. That’s true. Morgan pounds away to start but Steiner drills him to take over. And now let’s stall.

Morgan takes his time getting back inside the ring and fires off some knees in the corner. They ram heads and Rick loses some more. A powerslam by Steiner gets two. JR tells us AGAIN that this company has been around since 1905 and we wrestle here. First of all, it was 1948. Second of all, WHAT ELSE WOULD THIS BE??? THE COMPANY IS THE NATIONAL WRESTLING ALLIANCE. WERE YOU EXPECTING A BOWLING TOURNAMENT??? Morgan hooks a chinlock but misses a splash. Steiner fights back with basic stuff and the belly to belly ends this.

Rating: D. I know I’ve used that a lot, but my goodness this has been horrible. This show has just gone on and on and on. This was the shortest match of the night, running only about 5 minutes, but it was still another dull match that doesn’t make me want to see the matches on Monday or anything like that. At least it’s over soon.

The Six Man Title challengers are very fired up and all of them (two of them former Mid-South guys) say they’ll win. They go into a caged area and Kevin Sullivan pops up to lock them in.

Since they’re still caged in and no one in Cleveland have bolt cutters, here are the replacements.

Six Man Tag Titles: Road Warriors/Genichiro Tenryu vs. Varsity Club

Yep it’s a bait and switch main event. Big brawl to start and for some reason they’re on a wide shot. Oh ok so it’s we can watch the original challengers try to get out of the caged stairs. Everyone in this is a heel. Well in theory that is. No one knows Tenryu and and the Warriors are still popular anyway. Tenryu gets beaten down for a bit and it’s off to Williams vs. Hawk.

We’re literally on our 5th shot of the three guys trying to get out. Oh hey they did. Animal gets his arm worked on for a long time as the other three (Hayes/JYD/Sting if you’ve forgotten) aren’t here yet. Hawk’s tag isn’t seen and I have no idea if they’re good guys or bad guys. The original challengers FINALLY get here and it’s thrown out.

Rating: F. No point, no thought, no caring from me.

A huge brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show ran two and a half hours. You could pretty easily have fit everything into about 40% of that and it would have been fine. I’ve watched about 30 Clashes now and this is BY FAR the worst one. There’s no point in most of this and these matches didn’t make me want to watch Chi-Town Rumble at all. It was a good show too, which makes this show all the worse. Absolutely horrible show and I need a stiff drink.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2012
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

I was going to make a bunch of jokes about being in England tonight but I’ll try to find something funny to say instead. We have two shows in London before heading back to Orlando for Against All Odds on the 12th. I don’t think many matches have been announced officially yet but for the most part you can guess a lot of them which is fine. These shows outside of the Impact Zone are always interesting, so let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the fans who talk about how awesome wrestling is.

Hogan will be back tonight.

Roode and Ray open the show. The place looks great. Ray talks about how the fans aren’t going to see Hardy tonight because they took care of him last week. I think that was done because Hardy has visa issues due to the legal history. Roode says it’s great to be back in Ireland. He insists it’s not them that sucks and praises himself and Ray. I think the fans are chanting for D-Von.

Roode calls out Storm and here’s the Cowboy. Ray gets between them and there’s Sting’s music. The ring looks a lot smaller than usual. Sting says he talked to Hardy yesterday and Jeff will be back at Against All Odds. Sting announces the four way main event that I think we all knew was coming for the title at the PPV. As for tonight, Storm gets both of them in singles matches.

Garrett calls his trainer who will be here tonight.

Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Non-title here and it’s a Buckingham Brawl which is a new twist on things: there’s a coin flip to start and the winners get to be in the ring without having to tag, meaning it’s a handicap match in a way. Crimson starts and the numbers game starts up quick. The non-champions dominate for the opening minutes with a power/speed combination.

They set for their double team combination out of the corner but Crimson takes Joe down and Magnus jumps into a suplex. Hot tag brings in Morgan and everything breaks down. Crimson is sent to the floor and the Carbon Footprint misses in the corner. That allows Joe and Magnus to hit their finishing sequence on Morgan and the middle rope elbow gets the pin at 3:56.

Rating: C. Quick match but this was a good way to let Magnus/Joe get one up on the champs. Crimson and Morgan have beaten them I think twice now so why should we buy them having a real chance again? The rule twist was a nice addition and it lets the champs save some face. Decent match and the crowd was way into it.

Eric Bischoff is here.

Here’s Eric in the ring. A kid flips him off at ringside. Eric says he thought the British people were civilized. He says he’s here to burst the bubble of Garrett with a little dose of reality. Eric asks Garrett to come to the ring and then demands it. The arena is a very different setup as the entrance is on the hard camera side, making it almost like the old MSG setup for those of you familiar with it.

Garrett gets here and Eric tells him that no matter who is training him (remember that Eric knows who it is) it’s not going to matter because Garrett is never going to be good enough. Garrett asks why Eric doesn’t take it up with the trainer and Eric says that the trainer will never be here. The trainer (presumably) calls Garrett and Garrett doesn’t look that pleased. The trainer is here tonight and wants to speak with Eric.

Mark Haskins, a British guy that was in some X-Division series that was put on last year, talks about how he’s here to do whatever it takes to win. He says he’ll win the title.

Mark Haskins vs. Austin Aries

This is non-title I believe. The entire front row has its back to the ring for somer eason. Aries takes him to the mat and the fans still like Aries more than the hometown boy. Haskins is sent over the top but he skins the cat into a headscissors to take over. Aries skins the cat as well but Haskins dropkicks him down. Haskins sets for a plancha but Aries slides in. A springboard attempt is countered, resulting in Haskins being crotched.

A top rope shot to the floor takes him down even more and the fans are all for Aries. Back in and Haskins gets crotched again. A low dropkick misses and Haskins starts his comeback. A monkey flip puts Aries down but a second is countered. Haskins nips up and runs the ropes for a springboard crossbody. A cutter gets two on the champ.

Haskins goes up for a Shooting Star and lands Lesnar style, landing right on his head. Since he’s pretty much dead, Aries hits the brainbuster and holds onto him, flipping over to hook kind of a dragon sleeper hold but with Aries behind and under Haskins and pulling back on him for the tap at 4:45.

Rating: C+. Aside from the near neck breaking botch, this was a fun match. Haskins is fast but you would think he would get cheered in his hometown. I don’t know if that’s more praise for Aries or a bad thing about Haskins, although I’m leaning towards the former more than the latter. Good match though.

Eric Bischoff is yelling on the phone about getting a cab and Sting comes to bring him back inside.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Feeling out process to start and Storm takes over. He takes Roode to the mat but the champ heads to the floor to avoid a Last Call. We take a break and come back with Storm hitting a facebuster but walking into a clothesline. There’s going to be a Star Wars Special next week. As long as it’s not the Holiday Special I’m all good with that. Spinebuster gets two. Storm comes back and they slug it out.

Roode goes up top but Storm gets in a big right hand to slow him down. Storm’s trunks have something that looks like the Brahma Bull on it. Storm snaps off a rana to send both guys down. Storm starts his real comeback and hits a Backstabber for no cover. Top rope elbow gets two.

Russian legsweep by Storm is countered into the Crossface but Storm rolls into the ropes. Roode sets for the Payoff but Storm counters into the Eye of the Storm but Roode counters as well. There’s the Payoff but it only gets two. Storm comes back with a Codebreaker to avoid a belt shot. He loads up the Last call but here’s Ray to break it up. That opening allows Roode to spear Storm for the pin at 13:50.

Rating: B-. If I never see another spear it’ll be too soon. This was a good match between two guys that should be facing each other for the title in a big time PPV program but that spot goes to Hardy because Storm never got high during a PPV and made the company look like a joke. Quite a good TV match though.

Post match Ray gives Storm a Rock Bottom onto the title belt. Sting makes the save.

Tara vs. Gail Kim

Tara is #1 contender but from what I can tell, this is non-title. Tara takes over to start and strips her top off for the standing moonsault. Gail takes over with some choking and a knee to the back for two. She hooks a leg lock by bending Tara’s leg over Gail’s neck then a clothesline gets two.

Mike thinks if Tara beats Gail here, it might be an advantage for her going into the rematch at the PPV. A missile dropkick misses for Gail and Tara hammers away. Powerslam (called a snap slam by Tenay) gets two but Rayne runs in for the…not DQ. She ran into Gail but it doesn’t count for some reason. Widow’s Peak ends this at 4:57.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I really don’t get the theory here. What purpose did this serve? Why not have Rayne take the loss here rather than giving us the match ten days before its on PPV? I really don’t get this company’s thinking at times but then again, why bother trying to get people to buy the TV show when you can give the matches away for free?

Here’s Garrett to reveal the trainer but Eric comes out with Gunner. Eric talks some trash and to not a ton of shock, Hogan is the trainer. The fans of course love him because he’s an old school guy and if you’re loved once, you’re always loved. Hogan and Garrett beat Gunner up for a bit while Eric stands there. Gunner is knocked to the floor and Eric is terrified and runs. Of all the people that Hogan could give a rub to, they picked Garrett Bischoff?

Hogan and Garrett talk about how they’re coming for Eric.

Bully Ray vs. James Storm

This is Storm’s second match of the night and he has bad ribs. Ray works on the injury with some hard shots before draping Storm over the top. Off to a camel clutch for a few moments and then a slam. Here comes Roode and we take a break. Back with Sting coming to the ring with a cricket bat and Ray holding Storm in a bearhug.

Ray lets that go and hits a big boot followed by some elbow drops for two. A splash gets the same. The middle rope backsplash misses and Storm starts his comeback. He wins a nice countering sequence on the apron and a middle rope cross body gets two. Ray tries to grab Storm but gets knocked into the referee. Sting chases Roode out of the ring and the Last Call beats Ray clean at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not as good as earlier but it was nice to see someone using basic psychology here like Ray was doing. Storm getting a win keeps him strong which is something he needed going into the PPV. Not a great match or anything but Ray has really impressed me in his singles run.

Overall Rating: B. This was pretty good here as the pretty strong string of non-Orlando shows continues. This moved us towards the PPV and gave us a big development in the Bischoff feud. Now if you don’t care for the Bischoff feud or the main event, this wasn’t the show for you because that was the majority of the focus tonight. Hogan being back isn’t a bad thing but hopefully he actually gives someone a rub for a change. That talk of a Star Wars show next week though scares me.

Results
Magnus/Samoa Joe b. Crimson/Matt Morgan – Middle rope elbow to Morgan
Austin Aries b. Mark Haskins – Reverse Dragon Sleeper
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Spear
Tara b. Gail Kim – Widow’s Peak
James Storm b. Bully Ray – Last Call

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

NXT
Date: February 1, 2012
Location: Qwest Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews

We’re continuing with this show because someone up there hates me. This week we continue with the Titus Is Evil story as Alex Riley ran in for the save last week because…well because someone had to I guess. Other than that we have Bateman, Maxine and Curtis promising to get along for the purposes of…..I have no idea. Let’s get to it.

This didn’t come up until Thursday for some reason.

Here’s Titus to open the show. He says that the fans are being good and quiet like small people. The best thing they can do is shut up according to him. He gets on to Riley very quickly and says that he’s ready for him. Here’s Darren Young of all people who says he hates being here. Young says they have unfinished business. Titus says the only unfinished business Young should have is with his barber.

Young talks about how he’s respected Titus lately and extends his hand for a shake. Titus doesn’t care about respect from the people or from Young. Titus seems to be stumbling over his lines in this. Percy comes out and yells at Titus and calls him stupid. Them are fighting words pardner! Young calls him into the ring and as Watson gets ready, here’s Riley to even the odds. The following is exactly what you would expect: brawl, Striker, tag match main event.

Tyson Kidd vs. Trent Barretta

Yes please. Tyson takes it to the mat quickly and gets some two counts but Trent bridges out. They fight for control and Tyson sends him to the floor where he hits a suicide dive. Back in an enziguri sends Tyson to the corner. A running elbow in the corner knocks Kidd back but Trent walks into a spin kick for two. Trent hits his corner stomp and a running knee gets two. They go to the corner and Tyson gets crotched. Trent goes up and tries a rana but Kidd rolls through for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: B-. As usual the cruiserweight style guys go out and have the most entertaining match of the night. Trent continues to be awesome and it’s hard for Kidd to have a bad match as well. Good stuff here and there needs to be an NXT Title so these two can have a 15 minute match for it. And yes I know that’s nuts.

Striker is in the back on the phone when Hawkins and Reks mess with him. The screen messes up during this. Hawkins and Reks want matches, so Striker says next week everyone licensed gets a match. That’s about it.

Here’s Slater to brag about ending his losing streak last week. We get a clip and as Bateman brags, here’s Bateman. Slater wants to see the clip again but instead Bateman makes fun of him. “I didn’t even know you had a finisher.” Neither did I actually. Bateman says it was almost as impressive as the Undertaker’s Streak. Slater talks about how he’s won three titles and has main evented Summerslam and all that jazz.

Bateman says he has a career highlight reel of Slater which is nothing but stills of him losing and the word loser over the top, including Horny winning the over the top rope challenge. A brawl starts and Slater is knocked to the floor. Cue Maxine who kisses Bateman and that’s about it.

Maxine vs. Alicia Fox

We get a clip from three weeks ago that set this up. They immediately go at it and head to the mat. Curtis comes out and the distraction lets Alicia get a rollup for the pin at 41 seconds. Someone please explain to me why this division exists.

Five minute video on Cena that aired at the Rumble.

Maxine and Bateman go looking for Curtis and Kaitlyn finds it ironic that Maxine is always looking for Curtis. Kaitlyn says she’s looking out for Bateman because they’re friends but Maxine doesn’t buy it. Curtis comes out of a door after they leave and smiles.

Percy Watson/Alex Riley vs. Titus O’Neil/Darren Young

Watson vs. Young starts us off. Watson sends him to the floor and hits a perfect plancha to take him out as we take a break. Back with Riley in control of Young and getting two off a clothesline. Percy comes back in and knocks Young to the floor with a dropkick. As they get back in, Young hits the belly to back on the apron for two. Titus comes in for the first time and puts a neck crank on Watson.

Young comes back for a neckbreaker which gets two. Titus brings the power back in and chinlocks Watson, but gets caught in the corner and Watson makes the hot tag to Riley. He cleans house and hits the elevated DDT for two on Young. O’Neil breaks it up and everything breaks down. Titus gets a blind tag and hits the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 9:33.

Rating: C. For a main event tag match this was fine. It’s nothing of note but it pushed Titus’ heel turn a bit stronger and gives us a new guy in the main event with Riley. I’m a fan of his so seeing him in a featured match is a fun thing. The match itself was nothing all that bad but it was as there as any NXT main event.

Overall Rating: C+. This show wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t that good, but it certainly wasn’t anything bad. The best thing you can ask for from this show anymore is that it goes by quickly and this one pretty much flew by. We get a new program with Slater vs. Bateman which is something other than Bateman vs. Curtis so it’s an automatic improvement. Not bad here but it’s just another show in this never ending series.

Results
Tyson Kidd b. Trent Barretta – Sunset flip off the top rope
Alicia Fox b. Maxine – Rollup
Titus O’Neil/Darren Young b. Alex Riley/Percy Watson – Clash of the Titus to Riley

I know it’s not exactly a huge popular series, but for some reason NXT hasn’t been put up on WWE.com at this point (1:45am EST on Thursday morning) so I have no idea when to expect it up. They don’t bother mentioning different times so I have no idea. Sorry to any who are waiting on it but there’s nothing to review yet.

Clash of the Champions 4: Seasons Beatings
Date: December 7, 1988
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle

This is the set-up show for Starrcade 88 which kind of sucked but oh well. That show was pretty good and since this is the best period for the NWA, this should be good. The main event is the Midnight Express vs. Flair/Windham, both of whom are Horsemen. This should be good based on the card, but I’ve been wrong before. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video talking about the previous battles that have led us here. Not much to say really.

US Tag Titles: Fantastics vs. Eddie Gilbert/Ron Simmons

This is a tournament final since the Midnight Express won the world titles and had to vacate these. Jason Hervey of course introduces everything since he’s the biggest celebrity EVER. Gilbert and Simmons had lost in the semis, but the team that beat them, the Sheepherders, had signed with WWF where they became the Bushwackers. The Fantastics are absolutely awesome so this should be decent.

They really put this over as a huge match which is the best thing they can do. Sometimes these shows would go up against major WWF shows, such as Summerslam or Mania, although this isn’t the case here. Both teams are faces here. Simmons and Fulton (Bobby Fulton and Tommy Rodgers) start us off. Simmons uses a bunch of basic power stuff which makes sense since that’s his basic stuff.

I really hate Jason Hervey. He’s here every time so we just have to talk about him every time. The Fantastics speed things up and Simmons is in trouble because of it. Gilbert comes in. He’s more famous as a booker, originally being the booker for Eastern Championship Wrestling. His protégé and eventual replacement is more famous: Paul Heyman.

Gilbert and Fulton shake hands and get booed out of the building. That’s rather humorous. Top rope elbow misses Simmons and he hits a football tackle. That’s always awesome and works very well as there’s little that would hurt more than just barreling through someone like that. We hit the ten minute mark and it’s pretty much even. Gilbert is underrated in the ring.

We stick with the back and forth for awhile until the Fantastics finally wake up a bit and realize they’re a real team, taking over almost completely. Rodgers works on the arm of Simmons as we look for a hot tag. Ok there’s the tag and it’s cold at best. I don’t think there was enough done to call a tag hot at this point so that might have something to do with it.

This is a very long match that is going back and forth. We’re well over fifteen minutes at this point and I’ve seen no indication that we’re slowing down at all. Yeah we just hit 20. Simmons gets a huge powerslam off the top on Fulton to take over. Gilbert has a bad left shoulder and it gets injured again in the match so he has one good arm here. Since they’re an 80s tag team, the Fantastics jump on it like Elvis on a side of bacon.

The arm is now the focus of the match as we have some storytelling going on, making me smile. It sounds like the fans are chanting boring but it’s not clear. That’s not something you hear that often at an NWA show, at least not in the 80s. You don’t hear it now either but that’s because no one goes to the NWA shows anymore. We have five minutes to go here.

That arm is taking a BEATING. It’s all arm locks and shots to it. He finally gets out of it and rams Rodgers into the buckle but Fulton stops him as we hit two minutes to go. I think we skipped over three minutes to go but whatever. Gilbert gets the Hot Shot out of nowhere to get us to even but he won’t tag with less than a minute to go. He slams into the post again and gets rolled up for the Fantastics to win the titles in a LONG match.

Rating: B-. This is a great example of avoiding the long equals good trap. This match is well over twenty five minutes long and it’s pretty good but by no means great. There was some decent stuff in there but the first 15 minutes could be chopped off and everything would be about the same here. At times there just isn’t a need to go long, but it doesn’t really hurt anything here. It’s ok I guess though.

Luger is the guest host tonight. Does he get the Bella Babies here? He would get Flair at Starrcade soon. Tony is with him and has an awesome mustache.

Italian Stallion vs. Steve Williams

That would be Dr. Death, as in the guy that made Austin change his name. This guys is awesome if he does things right. He’s also in the Varsity Club which was a great midcard heel faction. Rotunda, the leader of the group, laughs at the idea that Rick Steiner would get the TV Title from him at Starrcade. The Stallion isn’t well known at all but his trainees are: The Hardy Boys.

Stallion weighs 250 here and allegedly is a heavyweight. Williams is the heel here due to the guys he hangs out with. Starrcade was on a Monday this year. That’s odd but so was Mania 2 so maybe they have something going for them. Wrestling on Mondays. What a weird idea. JR keeps calling him Doc which makes me think of the graphics mod. That’s the only thing about Williams that makes me think of Doc.

I’m really not sure why this is getting time. On paper this should be a squash match as Williams is the newest piece of a heel stable against a guy that means nothing. Stallion stays on the floor forever and isn’t counted out for no apparent reason. Williams hits a delayed vertical and kills the comeback from Stallion in about 4 seconds. Now we get a top wristlock. This is going too long as we’re already at ten minutes.

Williams just plows through Stallion and then hits a dropkick that isn’t bad. Williams isn’t a guy that did a lot in America but he’s more or less a god in Japan. Sullivan interferes on the floor for no apparent reason as this has been domination. Stallion gets some punches and gets cheered. He then gets knocked down and we hit FIFTEEN MINUTES in this. Top rope splash misses from Williams and the comeback is happening again. A crossbody is caught into the Oklahoma Stampede (running powerslam) to end this.

Rating: D. This went WAY too long. You could literally cut 80% of this match off and it does the same thing. This actually went over fifteen minutes and Stallion was on offense for all of 1 total minute. We get it: Williams is awesome. You don’t have to make us watch him beat up a no name guy for a quarter of an hour to prove it.

Oh look: we get to interview JASON HERVEY. He’s going to be at Starrcade. He’s the older brother from the Wonder Years. That’s why he’s on all these shows. Dang he’s annoying.

Magnum TA is here and has the Junkyard Dog with him. Dog is going to help in the next match if the heels get out of hand or something.

We see a clip of the Road Warriors turning on Dusty and trying to blind him.

We run down the card for Starrcade 88. Decent sounding show I guess.

Ivan Koloff vs. Paul Jones

Jones was a heel manager for a long time. It’s billed as a handicap match because Koloff has to have an arm behind his back. Koloff used to work for Jones but now hates him of course. What a coincidence. This is rather boring. Jones used to be a wrestler so he’s not terrible but he’s getting destroyed which makes this rather pointless. Jones finally takes over and Koloff’s arm is now hurt.

This is very slow paced and about as limited as possible from a moveset perspective since Koloff can only punch and Jones can only punch and stomp. Jones brings in a foreign object but Koloff gets it and pops Jones with it to win. The referee has no issue with this apparently. The Russian Assassins run down to beat up Koloff afterwards. Cue JYD for the save. This would be a tag match at Starrcade.

Rating: D. Again the issue here is that there wasn’t much you could really do. It was just punching and kicking and while that’s ok for a little bit, you need more to make a match. Also, they needed to take a page from Heenan on how to run a manager match. It isn’t supposed to go nearly 9 minutes for one thing. That’s way too much again, so it fits with the show so far.

Luger talks about what’s going on here. He’s the total good guy face here and it’s rather annoying.

Sting comes down and is either insane or high as a kite. He does the Flair running around all over the ring even though the interview was on the floor.

Six Man Titles: Dusty Rhodes vs. Animal

Dusty and the Road Warriors were the 6 man champions but the guys with painted faces turned heel and put their spike in Dusty’s eye. The winner gets to pick who teams with them for the titles. This is also no DQ. And Dusty isn’t here. We throw it to Rick Steiner and Magnum TA. Rick hears voices from a guy named Alex. I don’t think this went anywhere. Apparently Alex is the face drawn on his hand. Remember: WE WRESTLE IN THE NWA!

Dusty is here after a commercial with his eye patched. I’m guessing the Sizzler was closing and he wanted another three plates or so. Rhodes trying to run is sad. Big elbow misses and Animal is kind of controlling. They’re moving quickly but it’s a mess to put it mildly. Dusty works the knee and hooks the figure four but throws the referee out. Animal’s manager, Paul Ellering, hits Dusty in the eye to take over. Hawk runs in and beats up Dusty. Sting runs in and beats up Hawk. Dusty gets a chair and beats the heck out of Animal….for a DQ….in a no DQ match. Sure why not.

Rating: C+. This was the most overbooked 3 minute match this side of the Attitude Era. However, it was never boring which is a nice perk for tonight. Sting and Dusty would beat them at Starrcade if that matters. The ending here is completely idiotic which is why it’s a lower rating. The Road Warriors would pick Tenryu as their partner and then a month later the belts would be retired. Fun but insane.

Apparently Starrcade is on Monday because Sunday was Christmas Day. That makes sense then.

Ric Flair/Barry Windham vs. Midnight Express

Yeah this works. It’s Eaton and Lane this time around so this should be GREAT. Cornette is at his absolute most evil at this point and it’s great. Flair and Windham have the world and US Titles here. I think you can guess who has which. Dillon and Cornette have a staredown, which is a DREAM match for most members of the IWC. Flair and Eaton start us off. This works also.

They really like calling him Slick Ric here. Flair of course gets beaten up to start, which is very standard fare for him. Lane comes in and does a weird little dance. His martial arts and karate were always cool. Windham takes over and is described as looking like an eagle coming off the top. What kind of eagle wears a glove, tights and boots? I think the Express are faces here actually, which feels wrong even to type. Eaton is looking awesome here.

Lane hooks a figure four as does Eaton for a double figure four. Yeah they’re definitely faces. Then again they’re against the Horsemen so how could they not be the popular ones? As the heels take over, Paul E. Dangerously takes is here with comments. He has the original Midnight Express, Randy Rose and Dennis Condrey, to fight the current and more famous Express.

This is pretty back and forth here and is pretty good so far. Windham hits a nice powerslam as the Horsemen take over again. Eaton just beats up Flair and it looks great. Hot tag to Lane as Windham comes in too and it’s on again. Eaton hits the Alabama Jam but Dillon tries to interfere. Cornette BLASTS him with the tennis racket but Flair gets a shot to Eaton with a shoe and the more or less dead Windham gets the pin.

Rating: B. Very physical match here with both teams looking completely solid the whole way through. The Express was taking it to the Horsemen here which isn’t something you would have expected. Very entertaining match and it fits with the name of the Clash of the Champions, even though the Express had recently lost the tag belts to the Road Warriors. Solid match and a good main event.

Cornette goes on a rant of course, talking about how great the Express is and how they’re better than the Horsemen and only Dillon cost them the match. He goes off about the other Midnight Express. To be able to go on such long winded speeches like he does and not stumble over everything really is impressive.

We recap the night and Luger says he’s ready to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The show is definitely not bad, but there are matches that just need to have less time. You have a total of five matches here and while they’re all at least watchable, so much more could have been put into this show. I mean did we really need 45 minutes for the first two matches? They weren’t bad, but they weren’t particularly good. The late 80s NWA is a very acquired taste and this wasn’t a particularly great show. It’s not bad though, although nothing worth tracking down.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Best of the WWF Volume 3
Host: Vince McMahons
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund

This it the final volume in this series and I couldn’t be happier. This is from 1985 and also has some TNT skits in it which are usually pretty funny. We’re in 1985 here and at least one of the matches I’ve done before. I just want to get this done already so I’ll stop talking now. Let’s get to it.

For the last time in this series, that Coliseum Video intro rocks.

Vince is very clearly reading off a teleprompter. He runs down the whole card and we’re finally ready go to.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Roddy Piper

This is a strap match and you win by pin/submission. This gives us the ultra rare yet awesome Jesse Ventura solo commentary. From what I can find this is in St. Louis. Snuka hits him in the leg to start as they jockey for position with the strap. Piper scratches the eyes and comes at him with the strap to the throat. Snuka comes back and whips at Piper who tries to run.

Snuka chokes away at him which is kind of a heelish move. Then again Snuka used to be a heel so it works fine. Piper comes back and whips Jimmy but tries a headbutt. DOES NO ONE LEARN THEIR STEREOTYPES ANYMORE??? He rams Snuka’s head into the buckle and even Jesse is saying that was stupid. Back in and Piper overreacts to getting punched but he’s hilarious at it. In something you’ll hardly ever see again, Piper gets caught in a top rope cross body for the perfectly clean pin.

Rating: C+. This was an incredibly entertaining feud and while short, this was definitely a fun match. They did their usual over the top stuff and we got a bunch of fun things out of it. I think this was a dark match at a Superstars taping so it’s not like it was a featured match or anything.

Piper goes crazy post match and destroys Snuka with the strap post match.

Bob Orton vs. Ricky Steamboat

This looks like Toronto. Steamboat goes after the bad arm which is a very slow healing injury. Orton tries to kip up but can’t quite escape the arm hold. Steamboat slams him and we’re right back to the arm. Orton comes back with a beal and flying headscissors but misses a charge which sends him to the floor. Out there he throws a drink in Steamboat’s face but that’s not a DQ.

Orton takes over and hooks a cravate. Off to a chinlock which is quickly broken but Steamboat can’t slam him. Orton hooks the chinlock on again and rubs the cast in his face. I love little things like that. Steamboat comes back with chops and heads to the top. The top rope cross body only gets two, probably putting Orton in a very elite club.

Steamboat gets thrown to the apron but he skins the cat and comes back with a shot to send Orton to the floor. He was always great at that bump. The Cowboy tries to suplex Ricky to the floor but Steamboat counters. They speed it up again and Ricky misses a splash. Orton loads up the cast and comes off the top with a shot to the head and that draws the DQ.

Rating: B. Two guys that are absolutely great getting a good deal of time in front of a hot crowd. What are you expecting but a solid match? Orton was great as a guy that could be thrown in there and be asked to give you a solid match. He’s kind of the Kofi of his day but as a mat guy instead of a high flier. You never get a bad match out of him and he’s always entertaining. Very fun match.

Orton goes after him post match but Steamboat runs him off.

British Bulldogs vs. Johnny Rodz/Rene Goulet

The Bulldogs are new now so this is your basic squash/extended match that should be a squash. This is in MSG and Vince takes forever to intro the match. The old guys are clearly in over their heads here but Goulet gets in some token offense and brings in Rodz. The Bulldogs are like boys please and hit a pair of missile dropkicks and Dynamite nips up to snap suplex Rodz.

The heels take over with Dynamite getting beaten down. Rodz is very boring looking but he trained about half of ECW so take that for what it’s worth. Davey comes in with the delayed vertical and we need to get to the interesting part in a hurry. Everything breaks down and Davey throws Goulet in a fireman’s carry. Dynamite hops from the top rope, jumps onto Goulet’s back and hits the Swan Dive for the pin.

Rating: C+. Totally awesome stuff here for the Bulldogs as this is probably close to their debut. To give you an idea of how awesome they looked here, the MSG crowd gave them a standing ovation after the match. Upon further review this was their debut, at least in MSG. Great debut match and it worked well.

British Bulldogs vs. Hart Foundation

That was their first match in MSG, and this is their second. Joined in progress with Dynamite and Bret getting us going. The Brits clean house until the power guys come in for a test of strength. Bret comes back in and the Harts take over with some nice double teaming stuff. Bret misses a charge and knees Anvil by mistake to bring in Dynamite.

House is cleaned and everything speeds up. There’s a falling headbutt to Bret as things finally get down to one on one. Missile dropkick puts Bret down and there’s the powerslam but Jim breaks up the cover. That allows Bret to take over and the Harts dominate. Dynamite hooks a sunset flip but the curfew comes on. That means it’s I think 10pm in New York and therefore the show has to end. Imagine that happening today.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here but there’s only so much they can do with so little time. These teams just couldn’t have a bad match in this time period if their lives depended on it. Dynamite was so great with his speed stuff and it’s easy to see how Benoit modeled himself after the Kid. Fun match, would have been great with a finish.

We go to a famous skit from Tuesday Night Titans. Albano is in an office and we’re going to see George Steele get shock therapy in an attempt to get him to speak. First up the doctor tries to hypnotize him. George talks about playing football in school when he was 13 and messing up his tongue. He didn’t talk in school or something and then he became a wrestler and was booed because he wrestled Bruno. The hypnosis ends and George goes off again.

Now let’s try electrical shock. Apparently this is going to make George smart and not crazy. The doctor is named Sigmund Ziff. Good to know. After some more hypnosis George has his hat put on. George gets some shock and manages to say “how now brown cow” in a British accent. Then he gets shocked again and he’s back to normal. Funny segment but it didn’t need to go 8 minutes.

US Express/George Steele vs. Adrian Adonis/Big John Studd/Bobby Heenan

This is from MSG and this show is a bit more famous because of the debut of Randy Savage on it. No one wants to start with the Animal. Barry and Adonis (not yet gay or in pink) start us off. Let the stalling begin! Before anything happens, Heenan is brought in so Windham tags Steele. Heenan DIVES to the floor to hide and it’s back to Adonis. Now it’s back to Windham before any contact has been made at all.

Off to Studd to meet Windham and Barry is knocked down pretty easily. It isn’t often that Barry has to speed things up but he does it here as he doesn’t have another option. He keeps going for the slam which doesn’t work at all. A cross body gets two. Clipped to Heenan being brought in and Barry beats him down like a world champion beating on a manager.

Everything breaks down and Steele rams all three heels into the posts. Rotundo comes in and Heenan’s mouth is bleeding. Mike takes Studd down and works on the arm. Clipped to Adonis beating on Rotundo. Gorilla gives us some analysis of what we’re seeing and the fans chant USA. Windham finally comes in as does Steele, wanting to get his hands on Bobby. There wasn’t a tag and everything breaks down. Steele goes outside and comes back with a chair which he hits the referee with for the DQ.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here and I really don’t get the point of them giving us what appears to be a focus on Steele and then having him lose his match. Then again I think they did that more than once in this series so it must be a running theme. That doesn’t mean it makes sense but it’s what they’re doing I guess.

Here’s a video from Ivan Koloff vs. Bruno Sammartino in a cage.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

This is from Wrestlemania I so I’ll just copy and paste here. The version on the tape is clipped (thank goodness) but this is the full PPV version. We get a quick promo from the Sammartinos where Bruno tells Beefcake’s manager Johnny V to stay out of it. V says he’s not worried about Bruno. Now we go on to what was little more than a reason to have the managers brawl at ringside, we have David Sammartino against Brutus Beefcake.

David is accompanied by his father and Johnny Valiant for Beefcake. Big stall to start which is filled in by Gorilla talking about how great the crowd is, and for the time it really was. Finally we get going and Jesse cracks me up by saying that a loss for either man here could set their careers back 2 years.

That’s nothing but priceless. Anyway, we have a nice little wrestling sequence to start with Beefcake stalling again after sliding to the floor. We’re almost 5 minutes in and nothing at all of interest has happened yet. They’re trying to do a technical match and it’s just failure. I’m quite bored as I watch this match and it’s not getting any better.

I feel like I’m watching a house show match, but not the good kind. I feel like I’m watching a house show match that makes jobbers look good. Even the commentators sound bored here, yet for some reason the crowd is into this. FINALLY we get the managers involved and it’s a huge brawl for the double DQ.

Rating: D-. I was so bored I almost fell asleep. Absolutely nothing at all of note and it was just done to get Bruno on the show. David had a lot to live up to and for the most part he never came close which is the case for the vast majority of the kids of major stars. If nothing else look at David Flair. This was a very bad match though as Beefcake was the top guy in the ring which sums up things rather well.

Bruno Sammartino/David Sammartino vs. Johnny V/Brutus Beefcake

Pretty obvious reasoning behind this one. David is just so horrible compared to his father that having them tag was probably not a great idea. Arnold Skaaland is with the family here. Bruno vs. Johnny starts us off and Bruno throws him out easily. Brutus comes in and is tossed as well. Since this is MSG, Bruno can get a big pop by doing anything beyond breathing. Back in and Bruno does as much as he did before to keep Johnny in trouble.

Off to David who just is not that good. He works an armbar and slams Johnny a few times before Brutus comes in. Bruno comes back in to hook on the armbar and then tags out so David can do the exact same thing. The heels get in a tiny bit of offense before Bruno comes back in. This is so boring other than when Bruno is in there. David comes in again and gets hammered on for awhile. Valentine misses a charge but manages to avoid contact with the buckle. Not that it matters as David rolls him up for the pin anyway.

Rating: D. Bruno, I love you man but your kid sucks in the ring. I mean he’s just BAD. This whole thing was to have David be put over and Bruno was trying his best to try to give him a rub but at the end of the day, David just didn’t have any talent whatsoever. He’s just bad and thankfully he wasn’t around that long at all.

Here’s a clip from King Kong Bundy on Tuesday Night Titans where he tries on wigs. Well he does look like an egg without them. This goes on for awhile.

King Kong Bundy vs. Tony Garea

Bundy shoves him around with ease as today this would be Brodus vs. Regal and would last a minute. Here in 1985 though, this lasts WAY too long. Garea works on the leg but gets caught by the power. Garea misses a dropkick and the Avalanche ends this. Somehow that took about 6 minutes.

Rating: D-. What in the world was the point of this? Either way at least this tape is almost over. Bundy was fine as a monster but he could only be interesting for so long. That would be about 2 months but he was good for something like this. Boring match here and I’d much rather watch Garea have a tag match.

Battle Royal

Masked Superstar, Moondog Rex, Samu, Mil Mascaras, David Schultz, Bob Boyer, Mr. Fuji, Ivan Putski, Big John Studd, Tony Atlas, Paul Orndorff, Rocky Johnson, Adrian Adonis, Jimmy Snuka, Dick Murdoch, Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Tiger Chung Lee

We’re in Missouri here and actually this is the battle royal that Hogan was talking about on a show I reviewed a few weeks ago. Cool stuff. Anyway the winner gets thirty grand and Schultz is gone almost immediately. Hogan has been world champion about two weeks here. Studd keeps going to the apron but not out. Hogan throws out a few people. I don’t know if he’s even acknowledged as champion yet.

EVERYONE goes after Andre and Boyer gets trampled in it. They have to carry him out which can’t be good for your health. Studd is on the floor but not eliminated. Adonis hammers on Hogan so he Hulks Up and punches him to the floor in an elimination. I have no idea who is left. Putski beats on Atlas and Masked Superstar is out as is Orndorff. Orndorff pulls Johnson to the floor through the ropes and posts him.

Rocky is busted open and Studd is finally back in. Johnson collapses and Samu dives out by mistake. And never mind as Johnson and Murdoch go out seconds later. Mascaras and someone go out. Hogan and Andre go at it. Studd throws out Putski, then Andre while he’s at the ropes. Hogan goes out as well and Studd wins it.

Rating: D-. Really boring match here but Hogan vs. Andre is always worth seeing. It’s pretty cool to see them do that this early but other than that, there’s nothing going on here at all. This was a different era though and you can really see that. Boring match and a bad way to end the series.

Hogan demands Studd get back in so Hogan and Andre both beat him up.

Overall Rating: D. It has two good matches and then about an hour and fifteen minutes of drek. This was a dark era for the company as they had no one ready to fight Hogan yet other than Piper and that had already been done. Nothing to see here other than stuff from guys that were naturally great talents. Why is that not a surprise? And with that, we’re done with the Best of the WWF, which is a bad name for the series as it’s a lie.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

TNA Weekly PPV #1
Date: June 19, 2002
Location: Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara

So since last night was the 3 hour Impact, I thought it was a good time to go back to the beginning and take a look at the origins of TNA. This was the Wednesday night series when once a week for 9.95 you could watch the NWA. It’s still the old school show at this point and this is literally their first show ever. No one knew it would one day become as big as it is now, but it amazingly is.

This is from about the time that Hogan is world champion in the WWF. Actually no he’s not as Taker would have it at this point, but Hogan is still around. Anyway, let’s take a look back at almost 8 years ago and see how TNA got its start.

The intro is of course about the old days of the NWA because everyone wants to see that right? Don West brings out Ed Ferrara, who looks almost exactly like Road Dogg. I saw him and thought it was him. He even sounds like him. Tenay welcomes us to the show as apparently we have to start with a legends ceremony. There will be a new world champion tonight in the first ever Gauntlet for the Gold. It’s a Royal Rumble but the last two have a singles match.

Oh I’m going to get sick of Ferrara.

JB, in a four sided ring of all things, introduces some legends. Harley Race, Dory Funk Jr., Jackie Fargo, Bullet Bob Armstrong, Corisca Joe and Sara Lee (who ARE these people?), Bill Behrens, who wants you to know he likes the NWA and if you don’t know, he’ll make sure to tell you, Ricky Steamboat (NOW we’re getting somewhere! He has the world title with him and they say it must be like old times for him to have it.

That would be the case if he held that one and not the big gold belt which he actually had). Steamboat addresses the crowd. There actually was a reason for this starting the show: something about a no show or something and they had to reschedule things. Steamboat says he’s the referee for the main event tonight.

Jeff Jarrett interrupts and says the main event is going to suck. Well ok then. He says it’s going to be stupid and then Mike Tenay just sounds like a freaking moron by shouting answers at the questions that Jarrett asks. Jackie Fargo is annoying. He’s a legend, but he’s old. That’s the problem with the NWA: they believe that the fans care about these old guys that most of them have never heard of.

Apparently Fargo has matchmaking power and puts Jarrett in at number one. Ken Shamrock comes out and agrees it’s going to suck. Here’s Scott Hall. This feels like last night. Oh let’s reference the NWO again, because that’s SUCH a fresh idea. HALL says the battle royal will suck, but they have to do it so shut up. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? They had the three biggest stars in the company say that the show is going to suck. You can’t script this kind of stuff.

Some chick named Goldilocks talks to a midget. Take that Hornswoggle bashers.

AJ Styles/Low Ki/Jerry Lynn vs. The Flying Elvises

You read that name right. They’re Jorge Estrada, Jimmy (Wang) Yang and Sonny Siaki. It’s original if nothing else. AJ looks YOUNG here. He’s just a regular guy. The legends in the back aren’t sure what to say. They point out that this isn’t about weight limits, even though other than Joe, no one with any weight has ever held the belt and he was about 5 years away. Ok so the Elvises are heels. Got it.

The faces hit dropkicks and ranas to start. It’s your standard spotfest to start and that’s fine. It’s a tried and true method to get the crowd going so there we are. Next week we have the X-Division Title tournament in a round robin tournament. Cool. I might do more or these but we’ll see. More or less everyone just shows off for awhile which is what they’re supposed to do.

The X Division has never been about stories but just insanity and that’s perfectly fine. We start the Elvis puns and I shake my head. For the life of me I’ll never get how the Honky Tonk Man got over as much as he did. We get an MMA reference before MMA was cool. Here’s AJ who looks about 17 here. Estrada kicks his head off so there we go. Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver and it’s all breaking down. We get our first Pele kick. Yang hits a rotating moonsault to pin AJ which means nothing at this point.

Rating: B-. This was fine. There was no story and there wasn’t supposed to be. This was to get the crowd going and it did just that and more. It’s really short but that’s fine. No problems here, but DANG AJ looked like he was in high school or something.

Hollywood vs. Teo

Yes, it’s a midget match. The irony here is STUNNING. Oh Teo is an EXTREME midget. Apparently Rey Mysterio was originally asked to be a midget wrestler in Mexico. That has nothing to do with the mask but they talk about it anyway as they need to get references to WWE in there to give them credibility.

I have no idea what the point to this match is. Teo hits a splash from the top that wasn’t bad. Naturally the biggest spot in the match gets two. A top rope leg drops gives Teo the win. His name stands for Totally E. Outstanding. Oh dear goodness.

Rating: N/A. It’s like two minutes long and I’ll spare the it was too short jokes. I’ve never gotten the appeal of these matches but whatever.

Girls dance.

Ferrara and West get in the ring to announce a lingerie battle royal for next week. They bring out some of the women for next week, including Francine, Joanie (no clue who that is), Daffney (they say she used to be Daffney but now she’s Shannon), Alexis Laree (Mickie James, pre implants), Sasha (no clue but she’s ugly), a Ravens cheerleader named Erin, Elektra from ECW, Taylor Vaughn (who is apparently familiar but I don’t know her) and some chick named Tarita.

This is just an eye candy segment but not a very good one. Mickie looks WAY different, to the point where I had trouble picking her out of a line. Francine and Elektra argue and it’s apparent why they never talked. They actually blame Francine for ECW going bankrupt. A guy would wind up winning the battle royal.

There’s a guy named Mortimer Plumtree. I can’t make this up. He’s a teacher apparently, just not a very good one. He would actually wind up managing AJ for awhile. He has a tag team that we don’t see. Oh wait it’s the Johnsons.

Johnsons vs. Psicosis/James Storm

Yes, it’s the tag team that wear masks and full body suits and look like human phalluses. This team actually exists. Storm looks completely different too and it’s not a good thing either. Storm fires off some cap guns. Good for him. OH MAN he looks young. Apparently their names are Richard and Rod, or Dick and Rod. I hate this already. Ryan Shamrock comes out looking hot to watch them.

And now it devolves into nothing but stupid jokes. They say Psicosis’ real name for absolutely no apparent reason. Ryan Shamrock, called Alicia, still is there. Storm hits a rana and a good one at that. They say Storm could be great. Not really but he’s not bad. And then he gets pinned off a bad TKO.

Rating: D+. This was just pointless. It’s like they have nothing but the main event and they know it. This was just freaking awful. The jokes were completely pointless and annoying. I have no clue what they were going for here but whatever.

The referee gives Ryan Shamrock money.

The Dupps, a hillbilly team, torment Goldilocks. They and some chick try to drink beer but some random guy says not to. Ok then.

Two NASCAR guys are here for the sake of being NASCAR guys. Ron Killings (R-Truth) show up to interrupt them. Of course he’s a heel because he hates NASCAR and says it’s not a sport. Brian Christopher of all people shows up and beats up R-Truth. Naturally a match is set up for next week. Oh and his name is K-Krush here. Dang they got that one right eventually.

Jeff Jarrett harasses a 71 year old man. Thanks for killing another 15 seconds.

Christian York/Joey Matthews vs. The Dupps

The Dupps are named Stan and Bo. Stan Dupp. Oh dear. Their cousin is both of their girlfriends. I hate this gimmick already. The faces are your standard face cruiserweight tag team. They have a ton of charisma if nothing else, but they’re just generic. Ferrara needs to fall in a hole. After the faces dominate for about two minutes the girl interferes to crotch York for the pin.

Rating: F-. This was a waste of 4 minutes of my life. The heels had NO offense but they win on a fluke anyway. That’s just crap but of course it’s what they went with here. I hated this and they could have used it for ANYTHING else.

Toby Keith has one of his music videos played and then sings live. That’s completely pointless again but it’s considered an epic moment. Jarrett interrupts him and we start the battle royal now.

NWA World Title: Gauntlet for the Gold

Royal Rumble with 90 second clocks and then a singles match at the end. Jarrett is first and second is Buff Bagwell. Bagwell hits the Blockbuster and then is thrown out. Before the 90 seconds are up they have the next guy come in to avoid the clock just ticking away. I like that. Lash Leroux of all people is second. Just end this now. He’s out in about 45 seconds and Norman Smiley is 4th of 20.

There goes Norman after about a minute. This is just pointless. Apollo, a Puerto Rican wrestler with a great look is 5th. K-Krush is 6th and he saves Jarrett. Actually he doesn’t but the announcers say he does. This is just mindless stuff as nothing of note is happening and it’s just random stuff to fill in time, which is how you could describe the whole show to be fair. Oh hey let’s make fun of Toby Keith even more.

Tenay is TICKED that the heels are working together for no apparent reason. Slash, with James Mitchell who has a stable that we haven’t heard from until now, is 7th. He’s one half of PG-13 who was a big deal in Memphis and nowhere else. Jarrett saves him for no apparent reason. Must be a Tennessee thing. Del Rios who is another big guy is next. He’s a former USWA (Memphis) champion. He’s a Scott Steiner lookalike and they even point that out.

He’s better known as Phantasio, which is a guy that Monkey is a mark for. He was a wrestling magician of all things which somehow evolved into Papa Shango but was given to the guy that played him instead. Oh come on he’s even got the Superman S on his trunks. Some guy from NWA Wildside, a former WCW farm territory, is 9th. The clock is off the screen now and the times are getting longer. Konnan is 10th.

Every guy has their resume read with as many WCW, WWF and ECW references as we can get in there. He beats up everyone and is over as free beer in a frat house. We really need some eliminations. Joel Gertner who has lost about 100lbs brings out Bruce from a team called the Rainbow Express. Yes it’s a gay tag team and Billy and Chuck are a big deal at the moment. No coincidence there at all.

He’s Kwee Wee from WCW if you’re wondering. He’s the guy that wins the battle royal next week. MAYBE 15 seconds later, Rick Steiner comes out. Slash is out. There goes Justice who looks like a combination of Rhyno and one of the Pitbulls and now Rick goes after Jarrett. Malice (The Wall from WCW) is 13th. He chokeslams everyone in sight. Ok with Konnan it’s more like a chokeshove.

Truth makes up for it though by going WAY into the air. There goes Bruce, Truth, Del Rios, Konnan and Steiner are gone, leaving us with Malice, Apollo and Jarrett. Scott Hall is 14th to a huge pop and they actually give him a resume too, like he needs it. He’s the Outlaw now for no apparent reason. Hall hits a Razor’s Edge on Jarrett and here’s Toby Keith to suplex Jarrett and throw him out.

Oh how I hate singers trying to be wrestlers and failing so badly at getting people to care. Hall actually throws Jarrett out to make it count for the ridiculous NWA. Chris Harris is 15th and no one cares as no one knows who he is. Vampire Warrior (Gangrel) runs out early and beats up Harris. Ferrara will not shut up about Jarrett and I’m sick of him in ways I didn’t think were humanly possible.

Devon Storm, more commonly known as Crowbar from WCW, is next. The second biggest star in this match is Gangrel. That says the whole thing. Steve Cornio is 18th as I can’t believe this made it 5 weeks. Ken Shamrock is the penultimate entrant and he suplexes a lot of people. Brian Christopher, who should give his father 20% of every dollar he ever makes in wrestling because he never would have made a dime otherwise. A ton of people go out in succession and all by Christopher. Yes, they had him be a force.

The final five are Shamrock who is almost unrecognizable, Christopher (out before I finish his name), Malice, Apollo and Hall. Malice puts out everyone not named Shamrock, so it’s Ken Shamrock vs. the Wall for the world title. You read that right. This is just garbage as he survives the ankle lock for about 40 seconds before walking around just fine. A belly to belly ends a five minute nightmare.

Rating: F+. This was just a trainwreck. We had Brian Christopher, Gangrel, Lash Leroux and Norman Smiley in the main event. Let that sink in for a bit. Also, Shamrock beats the Wall for the title. Why not Hall, who people at least know? This was just a mess, much like the whole show. I have no idea what the point here was but it was bad. This was ¼ of the show, and that’s just unacceptable. The booking was off the wall as SHAMROCK, who hadn’t been seen in about two years and looked awful, gets the belt.

Jackie Fargo, who looks and sounds older than his 71, wants to fight Jarrett who wants to fight Toby Keith but Scott Hall fights Jarrett next week. They brawl to end this mess.

Overall Rating: D-. And that’s being generous. This was awful on all levels as nothing of note happens with the main event was just a trainwreck. When the three biggest names you have all say the main event is stupid, it hurts things badly. There is zero flow to this and if I didn’t know better, I would have bet on this not making it three months.

They changed things up a lot and it got a ton better, namely when Russo and a ton of other guys showed up to replace guys like the Dupps and the jokes in the main event. Definitely stay away from this one as it’s awful.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Assuming that the titles stay on the current champions, who do you want him to pick?Bryan if I had to choose.  Sheamus vs. Punk doesn’t sound like much, but Bryan’s selling could be great.

Your picks/thoughts?