Smackdown
Date: December 16, 2011
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the final show before TLC and I’m only kind of looking forward to the show. I don’t know if it’s the lack of anything resembling an awesome heel or what, but I can’t get fired up for this show at all. It’s not just me as I’ve heard that WWE is expecting it to do awful business. Either way, this should be an ok show as Smackdown is almost guaranteed to be anymore. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is the global warming due to it being in the fifties in the middle of December.

Big Show faces Jack Swagger tonight. Is there a reason for that? Was Long mad at Henry or something? Also Barrett/Ziggler vs. Ryder/Orton.

We open with Booker T being brought out to be interviewed by Josh. Booker asks the fans if he looks ready. He was ready to become a commentator but Cody had to make things physical. Booker refuses to become a legitimizer for Cody. He hasn’t thought about returning to the ring full time, but he’ll cross that bridge when he wins the title. Cue Cody who says that on Sunday we might see some nostalgia and maybe even a rush of offense that makes people say Booker is back.

If it was a movie, Booker would win and Cody would leave in disgrace. But this isn’t a movie. What’s going to happen when Booker’s legs give out and Booker falls to Cody? Booker wants to know how Cody feels about the reality of him beating Cody up right now. Cody is facing Bryan tonight and if Booker interferes again, he’ll lose his title match and Cody will work to get him suspended. Booker needs to get out of the ring so Cody can show him how legitimate he already is, sucka. Great promo from Cody.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

Booker gets in on commentary and Bryan still has bad ribs. Booker even apologizes for interfering in the previous two matches. Bryan goes for a quick LeBell Lock but Cody hits the floor. We take a break and come back with Bryan holding a headlock. Here’s a surfboard attempt but Bryan just rams Cody’s knees into the mat instead. To the apron and Cody suplexes Bryan to the floor in a good looking bump.

Cody works on the bad ribs as Cole runs down Booker. Booker says he’ll defend the title if he wins it, implying he’ll be back full time. Bryan gets in some kicks but Cody takes him down again for two. Bryan gets some rollups for some far falls. He hits something for two but we had the camera on Booker instead of the ring so I have no idea what he used.

Here are the kicks in the corner but Cody gets a foot up to break up the charge. Bryan tries a belly to back superplex but Cody floats on top for two. The ribs on Bryan are starting to take their toll on his offense as they exchange rollups into the Cross Rhodes for the pin for Cody at 5:46 shown of 9:16.

Rating: C+. These two have decent chemistry together and this was another example of it. Having Cole and Booker argue the whole time was annoying and took away from the match, but at least they were talking about the feud at hand and not something stupid like Twitter or whatever else they can waste their time with. Good match but it needed more time to really become something special.

Alicia Fox vs. Natalya

Nattie brings out the tissues which isn’t working as well as the screaming CRY at other Divas. Josh tells us that Kelly, Eve and Alicia will be blogging for Perez Hilton. I’m trying to care even less than I do and it’s just not working. Natalya works on the ribs but Alicia gets a small package for the pin at 1:01. Correction: I’ve found something I care about even less than the Hilton thing.

Alicia pulled some of the extensions out of Natalya’s hair. Alicia says she just got out foxed. Oh geez. Natalya charges in post match so Alicia tries a spinning legdrop, hitting Natalya right on the forehead. And she’s going to get pushed isn’t she?

We look at the video of the nominees for Pipe Bomb of the Year. At least this was funny.

Swagger says he’ll win tonight. Henry comes up and says if Swagger hurts Big Show, he’ll get a title shot. Swagger says he’ll hurt Big Show, but for himself, not for Henry. He says Henry is losing on Sunday and that he’ll win the title in the future. He really is sounding more like a face every week, which would be the best thing that could happen to him.

Usos vs. Primo/Epico

When I say the Usos should be on TV more, I don’t mean jobbing to the latest Hispanic team. At least I get my Siva Tao and to look at Rosa Mendes. So is Hunico gone? The Usos take over on Epico to start and Booker says the Usos remind him of Harlem Heat. Off to Primo who hammers on I believe Jey. After a chinlock he fights back and Booker says he’s not in his own Fave Five. Everything breaks down and Jey hits a superkick to Primo. He loads up the splash but Rosa distracts him, allowing a Backstabber to get the pin at 2:59. This was fine.

To hype up Swagger vs. Show, they show a clip of a match from July of 2010. Seriously?

Jack Swagger vs. Big Show

Swagger even does the push-ups so you know he’s serious. Almost immediately Henry comes out with a chair in hand. Swagger tries to jump Big Show but it doesn’t work that well for him. Jack takes out the leg but it doesn’t exactly last that long. After a brief beating on the floor, Show chops away in the corner. Henry is sitting in the aisle in the chair.

All Big Show here as this is more of an exhibition for Henry than anything else. Notice something Big Show does here: the telling the crowd to be silent for the chops. The chop gets a big pop for that and a part of that is due to him talking to the crowd. Think back to guys like Hogan, Sting, Austin, Rock, Flair etc. They all got huge reactions and they all directly talked to the crowd, be it through shouting at them, talking to fans in the front row, asking their approval for something etc. It’s an old standard and it still works today. Fans like being involved in the show, even in tiny ways like that.

Swagger gets in a shoulder to the knee and the Vader Bomb gets no cover. The second one gets two but Show fires him off like he’s nothing. Show starts his comeback despite barely being in trouble. Swagger rolls through the chokeslam into the ankle lock and Show is in trouble. After being in the hold over 30 seconds, Show kicks him off, pops up and kills Swagger dead with the WMD at 5:47.

Rating: C+. This was way better than I was expecting at all. Swagger got in some offense here and the match was actually somewhat competitive. He needs to turn face soon though because he’s floundered so much for the past year and a half. There’s no personality to him and that could be said for most of the heels on the roster. A turn and a Kurt Angle style character for him could work very well.

Henry blasts Swagger and a production guy with the chair post match.

Ryder comes up to Orton in the back and wants to know if they’re on the same page. Orton says no. Same book? Maybe. Ryder is very happy for that and fist pumps. He leaves and Orton almost looks disturbed. Funny segment and it only lasted like 20 seconds.

Ted DiBiase vs. Heath Slater

Cole rants about the DiBiase Posse stuff before the match. I’d go to one of those if there was a show in Lexington. Slater slaps him in the face and DiBiase goes off, sending him to the floor and hammering away. Slater takes over back in the ring and hits a forearm off the top for two. He comes off the middle rope and jumps into an atomic drop. The following clothesline leads to Dream Street for the pin at 3:09.

Rating: D+. DiBiase is getting a nice little push lately but I’d kind of like for it to go somewhere. He’s done the same stuff for weeks now and I’d certainly hope the Mahal feud isn’t the highlight of his push. The Posse thing is a decent idea and it gives him something to do. Not a horrible match and Slater gets to job even more which is really all he’s good at anymore.

Mahal comes in and beats down DiBiase post match. Since he’s Indian he uses a camel clutch. Teddy comes out and says break it up. If Mahal wants a match, he can fight Sheamus.

Jinder Mahal vs. Sheamus

Very nice pop for Sheamus. Sheamus works on the arm to start until Mahal pounds away on him a bit. Sheamus is like screw that and hits a big elbow to put Jinder back down. The forearms to the chest don’t work and we get a chase scene on the floor. Now the forearms hit but with Sheamus on the apron instead of in the ring. Slingshot shoulder gets two. Cole says Mahal kind of floats. Odd description but ok then. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Mahal and he hooks a chinlock. Sheamus wakes up and hits his signature stuff and the Brogue Kick is good for the win at 3:50.

Rating: C. Pretty much just an extended squash here. Mahal got in some offense for a change but it’s not like Sheamus was ever in any real danger. Jinder hasn’t done anything since he and Khali split and Sheamus is kind of just waiting around to be the next guy to challenge Henry once Show gets done with him I’d assume. Not a bad match here but really just a way to get Sheamus on the show.

Video on the Slammys eat up some time. Cole won another from WWE.com for Most Regrettable Ring Attire for when he dressed as HHH.

Video on HHH vs. Nash which is happening for some reason that we’re still waiting on. I know the storyline but why is this match happening period? Nash isn’t going to be anything full time (for the love of all things good and holy I hope not at least) and HHH is probably going to face Taker at Mania given what he said on Monday, so I don’t get the point in these two having a featured match on Sunday. I guess it’s because he’s HHH.

Randy Orton/Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler/Wade Barrett

No complaints about putting two feuds together into one match. A second coming video interrupts Orton’s entrance. I’ve heard a few answers for this and one is more interesting than the other. It’ll likely be Jericho though. Ziggler vs. Ryder starts us off. Ryder takes over with punches and a flapjack. Off to Orton who slows things way down and does the Garvin Stomp.

Back to Ryder who Ziggler beats up so he can’t tag in Orton again to bore us to tears. Now Barrett comes in to beat up Ryder for awhile. Orton gets a tag so Barrett bails quickly. We’re waiting on the big showdown between them here. Orton focuses on Barrett too much though and Ziggler gets in a shot to take over. The backbreaker is broken up so Ryder comes in to send Ziggler to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Orton pounding Ziggler in the corner. The jumping knee drop gets two. Ziggler gets in a single shot and falls into the corner so Barrett can come in. A big boot puts Barrett down and Orton is in trouble. Ziggler hammers on him and gets two. Orton gets a belly to back suplex on Barrett and there’s the moderately hot tag to Ryder. Ryder gets the knee up in the corner and the Broski Boot (BIG pop for the fist pump) but Ziggler breaks up the Rough Ryder.

Ziggler kicks out of a rollup and hooks a half crab on Ryder. Back to Barrett for a chinlock. They’re going through the motions very badly here. It’s not a bad match but it’s as basic of a tag match as it could possibly be. Wasteland is countered into a DDT to put both guys down. There’s the real hot tag to Orton who cleans house. Snap powerslam puts Ziggy down as does the over the shoulder neckbreaker. Ryder and Barrett go to the floor and Ziggler misses the Fameasser so the RKO can end him at 11:53 shown of 15:23.

Rating: C. Average is the perfect thing to call this match. It wasn’t a bad match or anything and I’d have been fine with this being the main event of a house show. They advanced both feuds which is the right idea but I would have liked to see something between Orton vs. Barrett. Decent main event but it’s absolutely nothing special at all.

Overall Rating: C. Not a terrible show and they plugged the majority of TLC”s matches just fine, but at the same time I wasn’t exactly thrilled by watching it. I think the problem is that TLC is just a dull looking show overall. It feels like a show that is there with a bunch of gimmick matches on it because the calendar says that it’s time for a show with a bunch of gimmick matches on it. There’s no real heat on most of the matches and it’ll probably end with a show that is fine but not particularly interesting at the same time.

Results
Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Rhodes
Alicia Fox b. Natalya – Small Package
Epico/Primo b. Usos – Backstabber to Jey
Big Show b. Jack Swagger – WMD
Ted DiBiase b. Heath Slater – Dream Street
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal – Brogue Kick
Randy Orton/Zack Ryder b. Wade Barrett/Dolph Ziggler – RKO to Ziggler

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These will get better I promise.  First up: Female of the Year.

The only person I can really give this to is Kharma.  She showed up in WWE and flat out took over the division.  She wasn’t around for very long but she made a huge impact to put it mildly.  The whole division was on the verge of being built around her but it had to be stopped due to something outside her control.  I can’t wait for her to come back and crush Kelly so she can sprinkle her on a pizza.

Your picks?

Monday Nitro #57
Date: October 14, 1996
Location: Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,930
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan

We’re in Lawler country tonight as the seemingly never ending build for Halloween Havoc continues. Thankfully with this set of two I’ll be doing we’ll get to that show so we can get to November and Eric joining the NWO. The show tonight is nothing all that significant but we’re getting closer to 1997 which stuns me that we’ve gotten this far. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Savage getting destroyed while Liz was held and forced to watch.

Dean Malenko vs. Brad Armstrong

Armstrong beat Dean on either Saturday Night or at a Clash. There are NWO fans holding up big signs on the non-camera side, because the fans behind them don’t need to see right? Nick Patrick and his neckbrace are refereeing again. There’s an NWO chant. Brad speeds things up and sends Dean to the floor. Malenko is heel still here. Into the ring again and Dean hooks something like a seated abdominal stretch.

The announcers talk about Sting being gone for awhile already. Man they had no idea what was coming did they. Brad gets some two counts, including one off a nice Russian leg sweep. Belly to back gets the same. Dean gets a SWEET rollup into a three quarter nelson for the pin. Armstrong got caught.

Rating: C-. Fairly uninteresting mat based match here but I’ve seen far worse. Brad and Dean worked a more technically based style here and while it’s good, it doesn’t do much for the audience. That being said, they were more interested in the NWO stuff than the match, but that’s modern wrestling for you. Nothing great but it was fine.

The NWO gets here.

Jim Duggan vs. Mr. Wallstreet

This is a rematch because this is the feud the world is dying for right? The idea is that Nick Patrick screwed Duggan out of a win in the first match so this has a different referee. Duggan uses power to start as Larry blasts Hacksaw every chance he can. Wallstreet comes back with a clothesline for one and then goes to a chinlock. Larry talks about the amount of water in the average human’s brain for no apparent reason. Leg drop by Wallstreet and it’s off to a chinlock again. Wallstreet jumps into a boot and Duggan tapes up his fist. Wallstreet gets it away but the three point clothesline ends him.

Rating: D. What in the world was this on TV for? It wasn’t a bad match or anything, but it’s IRS vs. Jim Duggan in 1996 on national TV. I don’t get it at all but I’d assume it’s because Duggan is one of Hogan’s buddies. Not a horrible match, but for the life of me I don’t get it. This was a rematch on top of that. Why did it need to be on Nitro? Isn’t that what Saturday Night was for?

Hugh Morrus vs. Jim Powers

The inexplicable kind of push of Jim Powers continues. Tony thanks “Mr. Lawler” for promoting the show. He’ll be at the flea market on Thursday, which is where the USWA had a lot of their shows around this time. I’m legit surprised by that. Powers slams him down and gets a cross body for one. Morrus rolls to the floor and I’m still wondering why Powers is getting TV time.

Back in and Morrus remembers he’s against Jim Powers and takes over. Suplex gets two. Flair isn’t here tonight. Morrus seems really bored out there and I can’t say I disagree with him. Flair’s shoulder injury is worse than previously thought. It would result in him being stripped of the US Title I believe. Powers gets a sunset flip for two.

A knee lift puts Morrus down as Teddy is complaining about Patrick’s cadence of the count. Oh yeah it’s bad as it takes four seconds to count one. Powers gets a small package and there’s no count because Patrick is holding his neck. A belly to back sets up the No Laughing Matter for Morrus’ pin. The count was fine there. Teddy gets in Patrick’s face post match.

Rating: D-. I get the idea of Patrick being crooked and not counting properly and all that. That’s an old standard angle and it works fine. But why in the world are they using it on Jim freaking Powers? I don’t get it. He’s JIM POWERS. They couldn’t use this on anyone else? Was this really the best option they had? Not the Steiners or someone like that? I don’t get it.

Greg Valentine vs. Lex Luger

Again I don’t understand why Greg Valentine kept getting time on this show. He’s fine in the ring, but why him of all the people that were available? Luger has taped ribs due to the attack by Anderson last week. Valentine goes for the arms instead. That’s what we mean by lack of psychology. Thankfully he wakes up and punches Lex in the ribs to take over. Luger can’t suplex him because of the injury.

Valentine works on the back as Anderson is watching in the back on a monitor. Greg works on the back as DiBiase and Vincent are standing in the crowd watching. Hogan has demanded to make an announcement tonight. Valentine works on the back some more. I’m glad the arm work only lasted a few seconds. Tony and Larry want to know where Sting is because they need him.

Luger’s back is rammed into the corner and it’s been all Valentine for the most part here. They collide and both go down. Lex starts his comeback and hits the forearm smash for two. Valentine gets an elbow up and puts his feet on the ropes for a rollup. As he’s arguing with the referee the ribs heal enough for the Rack to get the submission. At least he was wincing during the hold.

Rating: D+. Not a horrible match or anything but it was almost eight minutes long. Just like in the previous match, I don’t get it. WCW made some curious moves at this point but at the same time you can’t say that the results didn’t work so the complaints would be at a minimum here. Actually they’re not even complaints but rather questions.

Tony talks to Nick Patrick and tells him that the fine against Randy Savage will be $500 instead of $1 million. Also Savage has to miss the first five matches (not said if that means the first five Nitros or not) of 1997. Patrick says WCW will be hearing from his lawyers. Tony shows us a clip from NWO Saturday Night which was the NWO segment where they would beat up jobbers in an empty arena. They had their own referee in a ski mask and it looked a lot like Patrick. He says it looks more like Randy Anderson, who is about 6 inches shorter than Patrick.

Mike Enos vs. Randy Savage

Hour #2 begins during Enos’ entrance. There’s no Bischoff for commentary. Oh ok he’s going to interview Savage during the entrance. Eric intercepts him and there’s a TV monitor wheeled in. Savage says if Hogan is here, let’s do Halloween Havoc here tonight. Eric wants to talk about Liz and Savage says don’t go there.

We look at a video message from Liz sitting on a swing in front of a tree. She says she’s sorry and that she was doing things to get his attention when she thought she was doing them out of anger. Savage built her this swing apparently. To the best of my knowledge, the fans can’t see any of this. Liz asks him for forgiveness and says she’s made a lot of bad choices. The worst was siding with Hulk so he could hurt Savage. Liz needs Savage and begs him not to leave her alone. She feels the same way about him today as the day she said I do.

Back in the arena and Savage looks stunned. Eric says he didn’t know another way to do this. You know, because locker rooms don’t exist right? Savage doesn’t know what to say and has a great look on his face. Eric won’t shut up and leave him alone so Savage walks out and heads into a conveniently waiting limo. No match with Enos obviously.

Eric is on commentary now. The announcers debate whether or not it was a good idea to tell Savage about the message.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Cheetah Kid

Cheetah is allegedly Rocco Rock in a mask but I’m not completely sure on that. Oh there’s no way that’s Rocco. He’s ripped and much darker skinned. Ah apparently Cheetah Kid is a character Rock used to play when he was starting out. That makes much better sense. Apparently this is a local guy from Memphis getting a tryout. Works for me. Eddie flies around a lot but gets caught in something resembling an Angle Slam for two.

A nice powerbomb gets no cover for Cheetah. This is really just a tuneup for Eddie before his match with DDP at Havoc. Eddie gets sent to the floor and Cheetah hits a springboard dropkick as Eddie is on the apron. Cheetah goes up and gets crotched so Eddie can hit the rana off the top and the Frog Splash for the pin. Not enough to rate but Cheetah wasn’t bad at all. I’m curious as to who he was.

Video on Jeff Jarrett.

Lee Marshall is on the road and talks about how great it’ll be next week in Minnesota. Ok then.

Big Bubba vs. Jeff Jarrett

Since this is in Tennessee Jarrett is very popular. Eric makes fun of Jarrett’s country singer gimmick and says it’s about wrestling here. Bubba gives him a chance to run and Jarrett doesn’t seem interested. We do a Memphis level stall as both do various kinds of taunting before Bubba grabs a headlock. Now we’re talking about the WWF for awhile and the AWA. Oh it’s Hogan who said he made both of those companies. Well the AWA collapsed after he left so maybe he didn’t make it but he kept it alive for awhile in a way.

Out to the floor and Bubba keeps control. Jimmy Hart gets in some shots and Jarrett glares him away. Off to a chinlock so Bubba can talk to Jeff a bit. He hits a solid big boot to put Jarrett down. The announcers get bored so they talk about the NWO for awhile. Big right hand gets two for Bubba. He misses a charge into the corner and Jarrett hits an atomic drop but goes after Hart before the Figure Four. Bubba hits a spinebuster and smacks the referee. Jimmy slides in the Megaphone which is dropkicked into Bubba’s face for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a Memphis match for the Memphis crowd which doesn’t do a thing for the TV audience. That being said, they’ve had the last few months of shows booked for them so I can’t complain about something like that. Jarrett would be the replacement for Flair soon and would get into a feud with McMichael soon enough. He wouldn’t get over or anything, but who cares about that.

Jarrett is announced as the replacement for Flair.

Harlem Heat vs. Faces of Fear

This was supposed to be for the titles but the Heat said no so it would be a guaranteed title match against the Outsiders. Meng vs. Booker starts us off and Meng hammers him down quickly. Here are Benoit, Mongo and Debra for no apparent reason. Oh that’s right they’re scouting the Faces of Fear for the PPV. Stevie comes in and hammers on Meng but after missing a dropped elbow it’s off to Barbarian.

Stevie hits a bicycle kick to put Barbarian down. Come on people, learn your racial stereotypes. He chokes away and brings in Booker to give some variety to things. Hook kick gets two. Meng breaks up what was presumably the missile dropkick and Barbarian hits a belly to belly superplex. Back to Meng who hits a Batista Bomb for two. A double headbutt has Booker in trouble but Meng won’t cover.

Booker gets a bad looking sunset flip and the Outsiders are here. They’re in the front row this time and the match comes grinding to a halt again. Everyone stops to look at them on the floor and I think it’s a double countout. Knowing this show there was a pin in the ring and we just didn’t see it but whatever.

Rating: D. Total clash of styles here and it didn’t work well at all. Everyone was pretty much just killing time until the Outsiders came out for the match to end. I’m going to assume it was a no contest. I guess it makes sense for this not to be for the titles but it wouldn’t have hurt anything I don’t think.

Eric talks about Savage and how Hogan is going to be in trouble at Havoc.

Here’s Hogan for the final segment of the show. The rest of the NWO complete with Liz comes out behind him. Current total number of males in the NWO: 8. Hogan thinks Savage could at least come out here and fight. He talks about being in Hollywood filming the next 3 Ninjas movie and can push whatever button he wants on Savage. Hogan calls Liz an actress and she tries to slap him but fails.

Here come the Nasty Boys in NWO shirts. Hogan calls them family and says if they need anything just to let him know. Knobbs has the contract and says there’s a screwup in it because the decimal point isn’t right. Hogan hasn’t signed it and says the Nasties shouldn’t have the shirts on yet. There’s the beatdown for the Nasties. Hogan says this is just a little bit of what will happen to Savage at Havoc. He says Liz wanted him when she and Savage were married. Liz is coming with him to Hollywood to finish his movie.

The NWO takes over the broadcast booth again to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Not their best show here as it feels like we’ve been building up to Havoc for six months at this point. The whole Savage vs. Liz thing is interesting but it’s nothing that was going to go anywhere since Savage would join the NWO early next year anyway. Thank goodness the next show is the last one before the PPV because it needs to move on to WW3 already. Weak show but not awful.

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Starting today through the end of the year, I’ll be naming my best/worst things of the year, one at a time and culminating with Wrestler of the Year on December 31.  These are in no particular order at all and please keep in mind that I didn’t regularly watch ROH until their debut on national TV, I don’t watch puro, I don’t watch most indy shows, and I only barely keep up with AAA.  If I left something out, odds are I didn’t watch it.

Feel free to critique my thoughts or add in your own picks.

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 15, 2001
Location: Corel Center, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

This was a special request from someone so here it is. To set the stage a bit, this is during the latter part of the Invasion/Alliance angle and Austin is the top dog in the whole thing because when you think Austin, you think of his time in WCW and ECW right? The Alliance was doomed from the start, if nothing else due to their name. It sounds like something you have as an indy company instead of the company that’s going to fight Vince. I wonder if it was a backhanded jab at the NWA. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Shane talking to Austin about the triple threat main event on Sunday (No Mercy) and Austin is told that there are two Alliance guys in it so they have a 2/3 chance. Austin isn’t happy with the idea of RVD winning the title. RVD was as popular as beer in a frat house at this point, so they went with Angle instead. You know, because that was the smart idea right?

The main event is Austin/??? vs. Angle/???.

Here’s Foley who has a new book and is commissioner again. Mick asks why he’d come back to a place where he keeps getting yelled at and fired. His response: he doesn’t care. He didn’t come back for Vince, he didn’t come back to plug a new book (“Like this one: Mick Foley’s Halloween Hijinx, which just happens to be available at bookstores now.”), but rather for the fans. He made the triple threat for the fans and we have a cheap pop.

Cue Trish who is returning apparently. She talks about how Foley needs some Stratusfaction and hypes a lingerie match at No Mercy. Trish: “You know who looks great in lingerie Mick?” Foley: “Pat Patterson?” She takes her robe off and is in a one piece. I’m not one to complain, but is there a point to this? Foley offers to put her in a cage at his house where his kids can poke her with sticks. And that’s it. That’s the whole segment. Trish isn’t even in the match Sunday. Why did this happen?

In the back Austin is having a meeting with the Alliance. He says he’s cool with RVD reaching for the star because that’s what he said to do. As for the mystery partner tonight, he’s going to put it up to a vote. Austin has Debra hand out paper and pencils. Well at least he’s organized. He hints that he doesn’t want it to be RVD. Booker basically says he knows he’ll (as in Booker) will win.

The APA are with Jackie and Nidia in the back. Nidia recently won Tough Enough and they want her to come with them to the ring tonight as a reward. They get to their office and Hurricane/Mighty Molly have attached their Hurricycle to the door. They drive away and destroy it, ticking off the APA.

Big Show vs. Dudley Boys

I know this is saying a lot, but Stacy was never hotter than when she was with the Dudleys. The Dudleys beat up Spike and Show is here for revenge for some reason. The double teaming doesn’t work so the Dudleys run, but Big Show chases them down (which sums up the Dudleys’ conditioning) and we go back to the ring. They beat him down and hit What’s Up but can’t suplex him. Show destroys them and chokeslams D-Von but he wants a table. He sets up a powerbomb but Stacy gets on the apron and starts shaking it so Bubba can hit Show with a title for the weak pin.

Rating: D-. The only reason this doesn’t fail is Stacy is go freaking stunning in this era. The match was junk and I have no idea what the point was to have this match. There’s some post match stuff and it’s kind of a reason, but was this really the best they could come up with? Bad match, hot woman.

Tajiri runs out for the save and Bubba goes through the table.

Austin gets the final vote and is ready to come count them, but he throws one away (presumably a vote for RVD) and leaves.

Quick video showing Regal, now in the Alliance, being fired as Commissioner of the WWF.

Here’s the Alliance for the vote reveal. Stephanie and her awesome implants makes fun of her mom and hands the mic to Shane, who announces Regal as the Alliance Commissioner. Regal says he’s proud to be here and that’s it. Oh never mind. He says this is the rising force in sports entertainment and praises Austin.

Austin says it’s time for the vote and everyone chants RVD. RVD gets there late for no apparent reason. Austin reads through the votes (which have names on them) and Booker seems to be running away with it. RVD only gets one vote so Austin just ends this and says it’s Booker as his partner. Booker says he’ll prove his worth.

RVD isn’t happy so Austin yells at him, saying he only got one vote. Taz isn’t happy for some reason but he’s only kind of glaring and doesn’t say anything. Austin asks RVD if he thinks he deserves to be in the ring with Austin. RVD deserves to be a champion, so he gets a WCW Title shot against Rock later tonight. The idea is he’d be out of the triple threat if he wins. Regal officially makes the match.

Hurricane/Lance Storm/Mighty Molly vs. APA/Jacqueline

Hurricane is getting more and more popular at this point. The APA charges in to start and the beating begins. Faarooq and Storm start but Molly tags herself in. She hits Faarooq in the back and it’s off to Jackie. Jackie beats her up a bit and hits a bulldog for two. Hurricane comes in but so does Bradshaw who cleans house. Hurricane puts on the cape but jumps into a fallaway slam. The Clothesline ends it. This was a squash.

The booking for that makes no sense either as Hurricane and Storm had a WCW Tag Title shot on Sunday while the APA was in a dark match. There’s a good example of stupid and not thinking in booking. It’s booking for the TV show, not the PPV.

Kidman thinks something is up with the votes, because everyone listed voted for RVD. Tazz comes in and says shut up or he’ll tell Austin. Tazz vs. Kidman later.

Angle isn’t sure who his partner is going to be. Taker walks up and says he’s going to be the partner. Angle is cool with that.

Jericho says he wants to fight Rock at No Mercy. He and Rock are feuding so he makes fun of Rock’s signature stuff a bit. Cue Rock, who towers over Jericho. Rock says stay out of the match with RVD.

WCW World Title: The Rock vs. Rob Van Dam

Jericho is on commentary. Rock hits the release belly to belly to start and we head to the floor. Rock avoids the spinning leg drop from the apron and both guys get rammed into the table. Van Dam gets a spin kick and a leg drop for two. Jericho isn’t all that impressed with Rocky. Van Dam works on the ribs which Jericho calls smart. You know, because his finisher hits the ribs. That’s a little thing called analysis, but we don’t have time for that. WE HAVE TWITTER LINES TO RECITE!!!

Split legged moonsault misses and both guys are down. Rock gets up first and hits a DDT for two. I like RVD standing on his head for all intents and purposes when he gets dropped on his head. Rock Bottom is blocked but Rock hits a spinebuster to put both guys down. Van Dam sweeps the leg but Rolling Thunder is countered. They go to the floor and Rock hits him against the announce table. Rob goes for a chair and uses the distraction to let Rhyno run in for a Gore. Rock is dead so RVD goes up for the Splash and Jericho shoves him off for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Pretty basic match until the ending. This could have been a good match but with just eight minutes there’s only so much they can do. You can argue whether or not the ending makes sense but it’s close enough I guess. Still though, this was fine considering it was thrown onto the show (because we can’t market it right?) and RVD doesn’t get the title yet.

Jericho doesn’t save Rock from the beatdown because that’s what Rock wanted right?

Stephanie yells at Rhyno about how Jericho just messed everything up. Stephanie, just look hot. Don’t talk. You can’t do it.

Tazz vs. Billy Kidman

Tazz throws him around and they seem to mess something up where Kidman’s face hits the back of Tazz’s head in the corner. They slug it out and Kidman hits a spinning X Factor to end this. It wasn’t even two minutes long and I wouldn’t be surprised if someone was a bit messed up out there.

Rhyno vs. Chris Jericho

Rhyno is US Champion but this is non-title. Rhyno clotheslines him down and pounds Jericho in the corner to start things off. Jericho fights back and hits what we would call the Skull Crushing Finale for two. Spinebuster puts Jericho down for two. That’s a very popular move tonight. Off to a chinlock. I’m sorry about all the play by play but with practically zero backstory here there isn’t much to talk about.

We go WAY old school with Rhyno busting out an airplane spin for two. Rhyno continues to surprise me, missing a middle rope splash. Jericho speeds things up but misses the Lionsault. Belly to belly gets two for the horned one. Jericho hooks the Walls off a rollup but here’s the Alliance for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was nothing worth seeing. The whole point was for the run-in and the post match stuff, which is nothing all that interesting. The interesting thing to see though is that Raven and Mike Awesome ran in for the DQ. If those two, especially Awesome, had been used properly, my goodness what they could have done.

Rock comes out for the save and lays Jericho out with a Rock Bottom, which isn’t really that popular in Canada.

Diamond Dallas Page is at WWF New York and doesn’t like Canada. He’s really positive. It’s pretty clear he’s fishing for ANYTHING he can talk about here.

Edge vs. X-Pac

DIG THAT ROB ZOMBIE INTRO!!! This was right around the time where Edge would hit a groove and was without a doubt the hottest thing on the planet. If he hadn’t gotten hurt, John Cena might have been out of a job. Pac is Light Heavyweight Champions, meaning that every match tonight other than the six man has had a champion in it. That’s RIDICULOUS.

Edge grabs a headlock as Heyman defends Pac from an attack by Ross that doesn’t really exist. On Sunday, Edge has an IC Title match against Christian. It’s also a ladder match. Think that might steal the show a bit? Pac sends Edge over the top and hits a sweet baseball slide to take Edge out. Back in with a chinlock by Waltman. Big spinwheel kick gets two. He loads up the Bronco Buster but it gets countered with a spear, which isn’t quite a finisher yet. Edge-O-Matic gets two. After hitting the post, a flapjack and the Impaler finish Pac.

Rating: C. Pretty decent match here and I can’t emphasize this enough: you can have a coherent match that has a small story in it in less than five minutes. That’s what they did here and it was pretty entertaining. Then again, you had two talented guys in there so it worked out pretty well. Edge would get the title on Sunday.

Post match JR whispers something to Edge. It seems to shake him up and he runs off.

In the back Edge is frantically trying to leave. He runs into Christian and says their mom has been in an accident and they need to get to Toronto. Some Alliance guys try to stop him and Christian turns on Edge, revealing himself to be the newest member of the Alliance. Heyman officially announces Christian as the newest member.

Angle has on a bandana and sunglasses like Taker.

Booker T/Steve Austin vs. Undertaker/Kurt Angle

It’s a brawl to start on the floor until Booker and Angle officially get us going. Off to Taker vs. Austin with Austin hitting the Thesz Press. He hits three ropes for the flipping off elbow and gets caught by the throat. Austin manages to get Booker in and one Texan takes down the taller one with an axe kick. Spinarooni is broken up by a clothesline from Taker and here’s Angle.

To the floor and Kurt tastes some steel. Austin and Booker take turns beating him up and Austin hooks a chinlock. Angle is bleeding a bit under his eye. There’s an ankle lock out of nowhere but Booker breaks it up. There’s a tag to Taker who JUMPS OVER THE TOP ROPE. My mind is blown. There’s goes the referee but Taker can’t chokeslam Booker. Austin is knocked to the floor but Test runs in to break up the Last Ride.

He kicks Kurt down too and Kane comes down to even the odds. Taker and Booker fight into the crowd and Austin hits Angle with a belt for two. Austin hits the second referee but both guys get low blows to put everyone down. RVD runs in and hits a HUGE Five Star to Angle for Austin to get the pin. You know, because we can’t have RVD as the top face the audience wants him to be right?

Rating: C+. It was fine for a main event tag match but it had all of the wonderful overbooking that you grow to expect from the WWF in this period. Not much to see but it advanced three matches for Sunday, which they really needed because this has been a pretty lousy go home show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one at all. It doesn’t make me want to watch No Mercy and I barely got into the flow of things at all. Everything was focused on the main event but without context it’s really all over the place. Today’s product is really good at throwing you into the mix very quickly but making sure things don’t get too heavy. This didn’t do that and the build for the show suffers as a result. Not a bad show, but it doesn’t help to build for No Mercy that well at all.

Here’s No Mercy if you’re interested:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

So we’re done with the Final show and we’re off to the Genesis, or beginning, show. There’s a Doc Brown joke in there somewhere. Anyway, Hardy vs. Roode is set as the main event and I can’t help but think Roode is in severe danger of being a transitional champion. From what I’ve heard, tonight we begin a wild card (as in “random” draw) tag team tournament to find new #1 contenders, because the tag division is somehow worse than WWE’s at the moment. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the main event of the PPV Sunday here Roode ran around at the end to run out the clock. The video has a soundbyte from Sting, saying we’re going to open the show with a five minute overtime. Ok then.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles Robert Robert Roode

AJ speeds things up immediately and tries to get a fast pin. They hit the mat and it’s still pretty fast paced. Rollup gets two and we have three minutes left. All AJ so far. Roode gets in a shot to the knee but can’t wrap it around the post. Two minutes left. AJ keeps trying for pins but the champ keeps running. He hits the moonsault into the reverse DDT with a minute to go. Roode pokes him in the eye and hits the floor, where he’s able to run around well enough so that the Pele that AJ hits isn’t enough for the pin so the time runs out at 5:00.

Rating: C. That’s a really subjective grade as I’m not sure what you can really say about this. It’s not particularly good or bad so I put it right in the middle. Both guys had the psychology but there’s only so much you can do with five minutes and a story already built in. Not bad, but they were in a big box here.

Sting comes out and says we’re going until there’s a winner. Roode hits AJ in the knee and puts on a one legged Liontamer to end this in less than 30 seconds.

Roode says he’s awesome and bring on Jeff Hardy.

Wild Card Tag Tournament First Round: Robbie T/Hernandez vs. Abyss/Scott Steiner

And remember: these teams are RANDOM. Pay no attention to the rivals being partners. Hernandez vs. Papa Pump starts us off. Steiner takes over and hits the suplexes into the push-ups. Rob comes in and throws Steiner around for a few seconds but that’s about all he’s trusted with so it’s off to Hernandez and Abyss. Abyss cleans house and hits the Black Hole Slam on Robbie but slowly tags in Steiner for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: D+. I really don’t like these random tag partner tournaments. The winners aren’t going to win the titles and it’s just filling in time until the division can get itself back together. They’re waiting on the Guns, but they’re going to need more than two teams, because that isn’t a division.

Angle says he’s going to take care of Sting.

Here’s Kurt who demands Sting come out here. Angle talks about Storm and demands a rematch, threatening Sting with violence if he doesn’t get it. Sting says no because Angle has had two chances and it’s time for Storm to go after Roode. Angle threatens to go to Storm’s hometown

and beat up the whole city. That’s a new one.

Anthony Nees vs. Zema Ion

There’s going to be a best of three series between these two for a shot at Aries at Genesis. I barely remember this Nees guy but I guess that’s enough for him to be up for the #1 contender spot. They speed things up to start and I have no idea who is supposed to be the heel here or if there is one. Nees sends him to the floor and comes back in with a springboard Lionsault for two.

Flip dive to the floor and a springboard forearm gets two. Back in and Ion can’t get anything going at all. This is really just an exhibition by Nees. Ion hits a missile dropkick and a nipup dropkick for two as he pulls Needs up. Ok so Ion is the heel I guess. A modified facebuster gets two but he pulls Nees up again. A 450 ends this at 4:00.

Rating: C. It was high flying and fun, but I’m going to need more than a 4 minute Cruiserweight spot fest to really get into two guys that are barely ever on TV. Has Nees been in more then five matches ever in TNA? If he has I certainly don’t remember them. Fun stuff but the lack of connection to either guy hurts it.

The Jarretts get here and argue over who is going to retire.

Zema says he’s pretty and he took the chances tonight. It’s all about me, himself, and Ion now. Oh for corn’s sake.

Gunner gets fired up by Flair.

Jesse Neal vs. Gunner

Gunner beats him down to start and I don’t think this is going to last long. They go to the floor and Gunner shoves Hebner for the DQ at 1:40. Neal takes a DDT on the exposed concrete. I think he’s done with the company and this is writing him off TV.

Karen flirts with Sting to try to keep her job. Sting implies everything is cool and Karen leaves happy. Sting says poor Jeff.

Here’s Hardy who says he’s hurt but he’s going to Genesis as the #1 contender. Cue Ray who says Hardy is the kind of guy who sit around and Tweets to his fans. They’re fighting tonight and Ray says he knows Hardy almost as well as anyone. Ray talks about Hardy no showing a PPV which let Ray take Hardy’s spot in Immortal.

Joe tells Magnus to stay out of his way tonight. They’re partners in the tournament. Magnus tells Joe to get out of his face.

Wild Cart Tag Tournament First Round: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Douglas Williams/Robbie E

The Brits, still called a team here, explode for a bit until Douglas takes over. The idea here is they’re trying to keep Joe out because they can’t stop him. Robbie comes in with a middle rope fist drop. Magnus takes over on him and it’s back to Magnus. Rolling Chaos fails and here’s Joe. He cleans house and has some decent team work with Magnus as Robbie appears to leave after taking a middle rope elbow. Williams goes up and gets crotched, allowing the MuscleBuster to end this at 3:50.

Rating: D+. Joe and Magnus had some decent chemistry, but I highly doubt they’re going to mean anything long term even if they win the tournament. Magnus is brought back like once every six months and then dropped again. Not much to see, but the winners were at least gelling out there, which is more than more teams can say.

Jeff Jarrett basically says fire Karen to Sting, which is the opposite of what Karen said earlier. Interesting.

Eric Young talks about how he’s been told to find his partner here in the back. It’s ODB.

Here’s D-Von and he calls out Pope. Cue Pope with D-Von’s kids. D-Von says those are his boys and he’s been there for them since they were born. He put food on their table and clothes on their backs. He’s going to train them the way he’s going to train them and that’s that. Pope talks about how the boys want someone cool to train them, not a boring guy like D-Von. D-Von goes to leave and Pope says that’s what your wife did. He implies sex with D-Von’s ex and D-Von half kills him. Pope gets in a low blow and D-Von’s kids help in with the beatdown, putting on Pope glasses. Pope shouts that they’re his now.

Jeff lies to Karen about who he said should be fired. Sting wants to see them both at once.

Traci Brooks vs. Madison Rayne

Traci charges at Madison on the top of the ramp and beats her down to start. There’s the bell. Madison takes over once we get back in the ring and the announcers talk about Traci’s double D’s. Madison screams a lot and does nothing really worth talking about. Traci fights back and the crowd politely applauds. Rayne Drop gets two. A hard kick to the side of the head is enough for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: D. Madison is hot and that’s about the whole aspect that was good here. If this was supposed to be the big revenge match for Traci….it didn’t really work. To be fair though, Traci is really only good for wearing low cut tops. The match was bad, which is probably due to only one being anything decent in the ring, and even then she’s not enough to carry a match.

The Jarretts have their meeting with Sting and their stories seem to not line up that well. They both deny it and Sting has footage. The Jarretts argue a lot and it’s like 10:54 and the main event entrances haven’t even started yet. Sting’s look standing in the back at this is hilarious. He fires them both.

Roode comes out for commentary.

Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray

After the big match intros, the bell rings at 10:59. Ray jumps him during the shirt toss and works on the ribs that are still hurt from the cage match. Tree of Woe doesn’t go well for Jeff. Off to a bearhug and he even gets a few two counts off of it. A Vader Bomb misses and Jeff gets in his first offense. Bubba Bomb is countered into the Twist of Fate for two. Side slam gets two for Ray. A second Twist ends this at 4:44.

Rating: D+. This was really just a formality for Jeff but the win was a good thing for him as it gives him some momentum. Also, how nice was it to see a CLEAN win in the main event of Impact? Not a classic or anything, but for what it was, this was certainly fine. I don’t like the finisher hitting until it gets the pin though. That gets old.

Roode jumps Hardy post match and Ray helps put him through a table.  Sting comes out for the save and is beaten down too.

Overall Rating: C-. There was some good stuff on here but the tag tournament does absolutely nothing for me. I can’t complain at all about getting rid of the Jarretts. Jeff is going to India for whatever they’re doing over there. TNA still feels like they’re in a really low level string of shows lately and Genesis isn’t looking like it’s going to fix that. Not a bad show, but it’s nothing that really blew me away at all.

Results
Bobby Roode vs. AJ Styles went to a time limit draw
Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles – Single Leg Half Crab
Scott Steiner/Abyss b. Robbie T/Hernandez – Black Hole Slam to Robbie T
Zema Ion b. Anthony Nees – 450 Splash
Jesse Neal b. Gunner via DQ when Gunner shoved the referee
Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Douglas Williams/Robbie E – MuscleBuster to Williams
Madison Rayne b. Traci Brooks – Kick to the head
Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray – Twist of Fate

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Clash of the Champions 18
Date: January 21, 1992
Location: Kansas Expo Center, Topeka, Kansas
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

Time for another Clash, but this time it’s from a better era. This is during the Dangerous Alliance period, where the top heels in the company banded together to fight Sting and whoever he could get to back him up. However, he needed to win the world title first nad we need to set up that match tonight. Also we get Cactus Jack vs. Van Hammer in a falls count anywhere match which I remember fairly well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Heyman wanting to take over the company with the Dangerous Alliance.

As usual Eric and Missy are more or less the hosts.

Vader/Mr. Hughes vs. Steiner Brothers

Scott vs. Hughes gets us going. The Steiners are insanely popular. Scott throws Hughes around for a few minutes and that’s exactly what I wanted to see. That’s what the Steiners were awesome at: throwing big guys around like it was no big deal. Hughes powers him to the corner and everything breaks down. The Steiners get sent to the floor so they wait for the monsters to pose and both go to the top at the same time. A double Steiner Line off the same corner gives the Steiners the momentum again.

Vader vs. Rick now and Vader goes old school monster on him. There’s a gorilla press and a splash in the corner but Rick keeps getting up because that’s what he does. Steiner Line takes Vader down and there’s an overhead belly to belly (great one too). Rick knocks him to the floor and dives off the apron, but gets caught and rammed into the post. Back in and Rick throws Vader off the top with a belly to belly superplex.

Off to Scott and the Steiners are all fired up here. Scott gets the best German suplex you’ll ever see to a guy the size of Vader. He goes up but his cross body is countered into a powerslam and a splash keeps Scott down. Tag to Hughes and it’s off to Rick soon thereafter. HUGE backdrop and Hughes is in trouble. Everything breaks down again and Vader accidentally hits Hughes. Vader and Scott go to the floor and the Steiner Bulldog ends Hughes.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I’m a sucker for the Steiners throwing everyone all over the place like it’s nothing. They were so far and away better than all of the other teams at this point and it was very clear. Anderson and Eaton were champions at this point and the Steiners would get the titles back in just a few months.

Terry Taylor/Tracy Smothers vs. Brian Pillman/Marcus Bagwell

Tracy is still part of the Young Pistols and Taylor is the Taylor Made Man. According to Ross, a standard backhand chop is a judo chop. Didn’t know that. Pillman cleans house on his own and speeds things up but walks into a backbreaker for two. Off to Bagwell and the good guys clear the ring with a double dropkick. There are some double dives to the outside and Taylor/Smothers are in trouble.

We get back to normal with Bagwell vs. Smothers and Tracy hits what was either a dropkick or a superkick to take over. We hear about Bagwell hanging out with Sting a lot lately as Tracy beats him up. He avoids a shot though and here’s Pillman again. A spinwheel kick gets two for Pillman. The heels double team to slow Brian down and Taylor suplexes him to the floor.

Pillman gets rammed into the post which gets two back in the ring for Tracy. Gutwrench powerbomb gets the same for Taylor. Back to Smothers and a jumping back elbow sends Pillman out to the barricade again. He comes back in with a springboard clothesline and it’s hot tag to Bagwell. Everything breaks down and Bagwell gets a surprise sunset flip on Smothers for the three count.

Rating: C+. Fun tag match here with Pillman flying all over the place and just being awesome. Smothers and Taylor are two guys that I’m not wild on but they did their thing here and it worked well enough. Bagwell was still a glorified rookie at this point but he never really developed past anything slightly above average, which is pretty telling.

Video on Jushin Thunder Liger. He and Pillman will tear the house down at SuperBrawl II for the Light Heavyweight Title which Liger recently won from Pillman.

Richard Morton vs. Johnny B. Badd

Badd is pretty new at this point and is still the gay character that we don’t acknowledge as being gay. He takes off the rainbow colored robe to put on a pink and blue boa. Badd has to fire the Badd Blaster (confetti gun) before we can get going. He tries to punch Morton so Morton wisely hides in the ropes. Double axe off the middle rope gives Badd control. A bad looking atomic drop by Morton lets him send Badd to the floor. Badd gets a sunset flip for two. This isn’t meshing at all. Powerslam gets two for Johnny. They slug it out and Morton tries a cross body which Badd rolls through for the pin.

Rating: F. Just awful here and the ending looked horrible with Morton barely running when he hit the cross body. It took Badd a few years but he would get way better. The Light Heavyweight division never worked like it was supposed to because they had no idea that there was a difference between being small and knowing how to wrestle small.

Badd and Pillman are with Bischoff and Badd puts a lips sticker on Eric’s cheek. They both want to fight Liger. Pillman gives a bizarre speech about Japanese automakers and how he’s defending the honor of Americans and bringing the title back to America. And then Badd puts lips on Brian’s cheek, earning him a right hand. I have no idea if that was a heel promo or not.

PN News vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is a manager recently turned wrestler and more or less is a jobber here. News is a very fat white rapper. He raps a bit before the match. This makes JR’s from two nights ago look bearable. Page (in a singlet) jumps him to start and they try running the ropes for a few seconds, but News can’t do it due to high levels of fat. News tries a dropkick to send Page to the floor as the announcers shill the WCW Hotline. All News until he misses an elbow. Page hammers away and gets two off a Russian legsweep. For some reason he tries a slam and guess how well that goes. News hits a belly to belly and a top rope splash for the pin.

Rating: D-. Barely better than the previous match but Page was trying. The problem was that he wasn’t very good yet. News….you’re fat and you need to go away. The match was nothing to see and was there to get News on TV, because WCW was stupid enough to think that was a good idea.

Here’s the WCW Top Ten.

10. Larry Zbyszko
9. El Gigante
8. Big Van Vader
7. Dustin Rhodes
6. Cactus Jack
5. Rick Steiner
4. Ricky Steamboat
3. Steve Austin
2. Sting
1. Rick Rude

Kip Allen Frey is introduced as the new boss of WCW. Why WCW insisted on having actual executives on TV as the boss characters is beyond me. They FINALLY woke up in like 1995 and had a character played by a wrestler (I mean Bockwinkel, not Watts, who actually was the boss). Frey was actually really good at what he did though, and SuperBrawl II would be proof of that. He had a very interesting policy: whoever had the best match at a televised show received (I believe) a $5000 cash bonus. Think that might get people motivated? He announces Sting vs. Luger for the title at SuperBrawl II.

The other thing Frey does is bring out the newest WCW color commentator: Jesse Ventura. This was a legit big deal and was probably the first high profile guy they took from Vince in a very long time. Jesse puts over WCW as the future and says he’ll be debuting soon, which also was at SuperBrawl.

Tony brings out Sting who high fives Jesse on the way to the ring. Luger (recorded) says he’s been gone to get ready for the match. In reality, he only had one contracted appearance left so he just sat out for two months. His match with Sting was HORRIBLE, and in one of the rare instances in history, it can be completely blamed on one guy instead of two as Luger didn’t care at all and gave maybe a 4% effort. Sting signs and the match is on.

For those of you wondering about Frey, he would be fired after the PPV because of an unspecified reason. The common answer is he was actually good at his job and that was simply unacceptable in WCW.

Cactus Jack vs. Van Hammer

Hammer was a guy that made David Otunga look like Lou Thesz in the ring, but man was he popular. After Sting and Hogan, he was probably my favorite when I was a kid. Jack is a crazy man and this is falls count anywhere. Hammer has a guitar with him and fires something out of the end of it into Jack’s eyes. A slingshot cross body gets two about a second after the bell.

A big leg gets one (he would usually use a big boot beforehand. Hammer was tall and blonde. You figure it out) and Jack takes over. Cactus Clothesline puts them on the floor where Cactus gets two. Jack peels back the mats on the floor and jumps off the second rope with a sunset flip, hurting himself more than Hammer. They’re on the ramp now and we get a wrestling hold in the form of a sleeper by Jack.

Powerslam on the ramp gets two for Hammer. This is a very hard hitting match. Jack keeps clotheslining him down while Hammer tries to wrestle. Hammer throws Jack off the ramp where he lands with a thud. A clothesline to the floor gets two. They brawl to the back as the fans boo (no big screens yet) and we take a break. The stuff after the break was taped earlier, because it’s 1992 and that’s how they rolled back then.

They’re out in the parking lot and Jack hits him with a 2×4. A traffic cone to the head and they fight over to the bulls that are in place for an upcoming rodeo. Missy Hyatt is there to get on my nerves. Hammer chokes him with a rope so they climb into the pen with the bulls. Abdullah the Butcher pops up dressed as a cowboy and whacks Hammer with a shovel by mistake so Jack can get the pin.

Rating: B-. Before the break, this was a SICK brawl. Post break, it goes downhill quickly. Butcher as a cowboy is a very strange vision and not one that I need to see every day. Hammer would never really mean much after this which is probably the best thing that could have happened to everyone involved. It has nothing on Sting vs. Jack but it’s still good.

Butcher and Jack fight a bit with Butcher throwing Missy into a water trough.

Freebirds vs. Brad Armstrong/Big Josh

The Birds are now faces and no one cared. I mean no one AT ALL cared. They’re still singers and have a song nowhere near as good as Badstreet USA. They dance through the crowd and I want this to end already. Big Josh is a lumberjack that liked to dance with bears. Armstrong used to be a Freebird lackey in a mask (never acknowledged as the same guy). Hayes and Armstrong start us off.

The Birds, despite being a long running tag team, really doesn’t work together all that well. Granted that might be due to Garvin not being all that good. Off to Josh who has far better luck. He stomps on Hayes’ ribs and I think this is face vs. face but I’m really not sure. Back to Garvin and Josh punches him for awhile too. They ram heads which has no effect on Garvin at all. Back to Armstrong who hits a bunch of dropkicks. Everything breaks down and the Birds cheat to hit a double DDT on Armstrong for the pin.

Rating: F. This was one of the worst tag matches I’ve ever seen. The song didn’t help either with the title being “I’m a Freebird, What’s Your Excuse?” This was horrible and thankfully the Birds weren’t around much longer after this. It didn’t work at all and was one of the worst matches I can remember in a long time.

Video on the Steiners and how awesome they are. We get some clips of them winning huge matches and hear about Scott’s arm tearing apart and putting him on the shelf for a long time.

The Steiners say they’ll get the titles back because they never lost them fairly.

Vinnie Vegas vs. Tommy Rich

Vegas is more famous by his real name: Kevin Nash. Vegas is in suspenders, a white collared shirt and dress pants. Snake Eyes end this in less than a minute.

Dangerously says that someone is getting taken out tonight. He lists off what might happen to each of them and it’s classic Heyman. You can see in his eyes how fired up he is here. He gets in the great line of someone is going to the Magnum TA Wrestling Retirement Home.

Arn Anderson/Bobby Eaton/Larry Zbyszko vs. Barry Windham/Dustin Rhodes/Ron Simmons

Windham still has a bad hand due to Zbyszko. Eaton vs. Windham starts us off and Barry is all fired up. It works against him though and he gets caught in a superplex which he no sells. Big lariat puts Bobby down and Windham hits his own lariat (his finisher) for two. Everything breaks down and the Alliance is all put in Figure Fours. Off to Larry vs. Ron with Larry trying to use power on him for some reason. Arn and Larry combined can’t overpower him.

Ron is beating them up all on his own. For some reason Barry and Dustin just let him fight on his own and to be fair, it’s working pretty well. Off to Dustin and they work on Larry’s arm. Bobby comes in and Dustin is all fired up, throwing him over the top (behind the referee’s back) and hitting a huge diving clothesline to the ramp. Off to Larry vs. Barry and Barry misses a lariat. That’s the big feud to this match as Zbyszko and Anderson broke Barry’s hand at Halloween Havoc.

Off to Dustin and he misses a cross body, sending him flying and therefore crashing onto the ramp. Dustin takes a cell phone shot to the ribs and the Alliance is in control. Back in the Anderson Spinebuster gets two. Dustin gets in some punches but walks into a DDT. Arn’s cover is delayed though so it’s only two. Off to Eaton who hits a top rope elbow instead of the Alabama Jam for two.

Eaton misses a corner charge but Anderson saves the tag. Then we get to the big problem Arn has in his matches. Dustin is on the mat and Arn goes to the middle rope. He jumps off with a double axe handle and Dustin hits a boot to the jaw. What in the world was Arn going for, since he was jumping at the feet of Dustin the whole time? Either way it’s off to Barry vs. Larry Z and everything breaks down. Eaton comes off the top and jumps into the cast on Barry’s hand and that’s good for the pin.

Rating: B. Very fun tag match here and it shows the reason the Dangerous Alliance worked: everyone on the team was REALLY good and considering they only feuded with talented guys, the matches were almost a guaranteed awesome showcase. JR called the Alliance an All-Star team in this match and that’s about as good of a description as you can give them.

Tony is with the winning team in the back and Barry says he doesn’t care who says what because he’s coming for revenge. Awesome stuff again as Windham is all fired up.

Sting/Ricky Steamboat vs. Rick Rude/Steve Austin

Austin is TV Champion and Rude is US Champion. My goodness Sting is ridiculously popular. Remember that Top Ten thing earlier? Check out #1-#4. Steamboat vs. Austin starts us off and Austin still has hair here. Jesse has joined commentary to replace Tony here. Ricky takes over to start and Steve has no idea what to do with him. Steamboat gets a bunch of two counts on Steve and fires off a superkick to knock him down. Rude takes a kick as well and the ring is cleared.

Rude comes in and he wants Sting. He slaps some of the paint off him and here’s the Stinger to the biggest pop of the night. Rude, ever the heel, hides in the corner immediately. Sting hits a pair of atomic drops and we get the best selling ever of that move. Sting rakes the back and we get some classic Jesse/face commentator banter of how can Sting do that and claim to be a hero.

Sting hooks a modified camel clutch for some reason. Rude’s ribs are his strong point so why put a hold on them? Now it’s Steamboat and they do the non-tag thing. The fans swear they did though and that’s good enough. They do it again as Austin tries to come in. JR, speaking of Sting: “Well he’s the legal man! That’s what you want right?” Sting tries to cannonball down onto Rude’s ribs but does the Anderson spot and lands balls first on the knees.

Austin vs. Sting in what would have drawn at least seven figure buys in 1998. Rude hooks a front facelock and keeps Sting from tagging. Back to Austin who punches the mat in an attempt to block a sunset flip and there’s the hot tag to Steamboat. Rude takes his head off as Sting was trying to come in and the Alliance controls some more. Austin avoids a rollup and everything breaks down. Sting and Austin fight up the ramp and then they come back. That was kind of pointless but whatever. Austin picks up Steamboat but Sting dives off the top with a crossbody and both pin Austin at the same time.

Rating: B. Remember the previous reason as why the six man was good? Same reason here but with four guys and better talent involved. The Alliance angle had YEARS worth of material in it but instead they lasted about six months because this is WCW. The Alliance was one of the greatest gatherings of talent ever, but it never became a memorable team because of WCW’s incompetence in promoting stars.

By the way, everything in that last sentence starting with the word one was from Arn Anderson, not me. So it’s not just my opinion but from someone on the team itself.

Rude and Austin annihilate Steamboat post match, whipping him with a belt as Sting tries to protect him.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a free TV show and we got pretty much 80% good stuff. When’s the last time you remember 80% of Raw or Impact being good to very good? The first half of 1992 was pure gold for WCW and once Luger’s laziness left and Sting got the title, it was all gravy for a long time. Then Vader came in and Sting had his best matches ever with him, so it got even better. Good show, but I still like 17 better I think.

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NXT
Date: December 14, 2011
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

We’re almost to the end of the year and we’re in the ninth month of this show. This show could have been a whole pregnancy by this point. After last week, it appears we have a second good guy rookie in the form of Derrick Bateman. Given that he’s been one of the most worthless characters in recent memory, that can’t really be a bad thing. Let’s get to it.

If this show is the search for the next breakout star, how dim is this star that it’s taken them this long to find it?

Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barretta/Yoshi Tatsu

Reks says the two of them aren’t rookies and they’ll never beg for support from dirty North Carolinians. Trent calls them grumpy and Yoshi tells Reks to wash his hair. That’s the latest chant and according to Striker, it’ll be trending. Just….no. Tyler gets double teamed to start but Yoshi takes too much time on the top and is slammed down. Yoshi gets beaten down by both guys as Striker tries to get Hawkins nickname over as “And 1”.

Not very hot tag brings in Trent who beats on Hawkins and hits a top rope cross body for two. Barretta doesn’t get to be on TV much and has a pretty basic cruiserweight style, but he’s very smooth out there. Speaking of smooth, Trent spins out of what looked like a slam attempt into a rollup on Hawkins for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: C-. Not bad but I’m over Reks and Hawkins. They’re not interesting at all and they keep showing up and talking about how great they used to be. They’re about as low on the heel totem pole as you can get and that’s not a place that I’m interested in watching. I would however like to see more of Barretta. He’s just fun to watch for some reason.

Percy Watson has a talk show now. Let’s get this over with. The subject is the saga of Bateman/Curtis/Maxine. We get a LONG video on the whole thing, concluding with Maxine ending the engagement last week. Here’s Bateman and Percy asks him if there’s anything going on between Bateman and Maxine’s mama. Bateman says that’s insane, just like all women.

Cue Curtis who shows a still of Derrick kissing the finger of Maxine’s mom as it’s against his lips. Curtis talks about how JTG said that he and Maxine left together and that wasn’t true. Cue JTG and Watson asked why he said that. JTG says Curtis paid him to do it. Curtis denies this and JTG leaves. Cue Maxine now who says she’s tired of all this stuff. Bateman: “That girl is so crazy, how can you not want to spend the rest of your life with her?” Curtis: “She doesn’t like you man.” Bateman drops Curtis and leaves. Watson laughs and Curtis goes after him. Striker makes the match for later.

Jey Uso vs. JTG

No Siva Tao which makes me sad. Basic back and forth start as Striker seems to agree with Bateman’s statement that all women are crazy. Josh: “You’re still single right?” Absolutely nothing to talk about in the first few minutes of this. JTG controls with his usual really basic stuff. He’s just not effective as a heel, mainly because he’s nothing special at all as far as a character or from a looks perspective. Jey comes back and hits a superkick for the pin at 3:34.

Rating: D. I love the Usos but man this storyline is dull. JTG is perhaps the least interesting character this side of Derrick Bateman on NXT. That’s the problem with this show. Ok one of many problems with this show: outside of the Usos and at times Titus, no one is anybody I have any interest in watching and rarely are their matches good. The guys that do regularly have good matches (Kidd, Tatsu, Barretta) are rarely on here. This match was boring though and JTG controlled all but like 15 seconds.

Earlier today in Striker’s office (he has an office???) Titus came in to apologize but the challenge to Young is still on. I don’t know why this segment existed.

Slammys recap eats up some time.

Bateman goes up to talk to Maxine and says that before the show is over, he’ll marry her. Curtis comes up after Bateman leaves and kisses her. She tries to slap him but says they’ll get physical after the match.

Percy Watson vs. Johnny Curtis

STRIKER STOLE MY BABY JOKE!!! He said we could have a baby by the end of the season. So Matt Striker thinks like me? I’m not sure I like that. Watson takes over to start and drops a leg for two. Curtis fights back with a single arm suplex for two. Curtis works on the arm a bit and then Percy hits a dropkick to break that up. There’s another and make it three. Jumping clothesline hits but he hurts his arm on it. Never mind though as he hits an overhead belly to belly release. Flipping splash gets two. Curtis gets up and hits a Falcon’s Arrow for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: D. This was another boring match, mainly due to Johnny Curtis being completely uninteresting. He’s done his same uninteresting thing for like a year now and once they got something different about him, the word play thing, they got rid of it as fast as they could so that they could make him as bland as possible again. That’s why I’m so bored by WWE heels anymore: as soon as they get something going, it must be killed before they get over at all.

Titus comes out for his showdown with Young. You know, their at least 8th fight this season. He’s in a suit for this one so maybe this isn’t a match? He apologizes to his sons for not being perfect and losing his cool last week. Young cuts him off, also in street clothes. Titus says he doesn’t have Young’s resume but he’s out here working every week.

Young says he’s just an ex-football player. Titus says this has nothing to do with that and runs down a list of a bunch of ex-football players, like DiBiase Senior, Ron Simmons or Rock. Titus says he’s going to leave and this is done. Young calls him a failure and shoves him. A brawl ends the show. Titus leaves him laying and isn’t happy about it.

Overall Rating: D+. Not one of their better episodes here as the whole thing was about Maxine and Bateman and Curtis and then the showdown was just a talking segment where Titus beats Young down. Hopefully this ends in a loser leaves NXT match and we actually get closer to ending this never ending show. This wasn’t their worst show ever, but it was really quite dull indeed.

Results
Trent Barretta/Yoshi Tatsu b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks – Rollup to Hawkins
Jey Uso b. JTG – Superkick
Johnny Curtis b. Percy Watson – Falcon’s Arrow

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Tribute to the Troops 2011
Date: December 13, 2011
Location: Fort Bragg, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the show that is now a tradition and is still pretty awesome. We’re still stateside for this and it’s probably a lot easier that way. The matches here don’t mean anything and that’s fine. This is about the people in the audience and that’s fine. This was taped Sunday night so don’t expect any references to last night. Let’s get to it.

We’re in an arena this year.

The President gives his usual message about this show.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Pretty big match to start things off with. Orton takes over to start and we get a Slammys reference. Maybe the commentary was recorded later? Barrett pounds him down to take over and a big boot puts Randy on the apron and gets two back in the ring. Pumphandle slam gets two. Barrett goes up and Orton gets in a set of punches and a superplex for two. Here’s the comeback and it starts with the powerslam. Elevated DDT is countered and they go to the outside. The DDT on the floor is countered and they brawl to a double countout at 5:57.

Rating: C-. I’m going to be a lot lighter on the ratings tonight because the winning and losing isn’t the point. This is about the fans having a good time and they couldn’t have one guy go over cleanly here. They didn’t have a lot of options so there’s nothing wrong with what they did here. Decent match too.

Barrett beats Orton up post match and loads up a table. Orton gets in a dropkick and sets up the table. Otunga of all people runs out for the save and he beats on Randy for a bit. There’s an RKO for him and he goes through the table via a big powerbomb.

Nicole Kidman loves the troops. My goodness she’s beautiful.

Jake Gyllenhall loves the troops.

Barrett says he has the psychological advantage over Orton. The only voice Orton will hear is a table breaking in half.

Nickelback performs Burn it the the Ground. Awesome song live.

A group of superstars jump out of a plane, which is what the specialty unit at Fort Bragg does.

Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder brings out Sgt. Slaughter to counteract Ziggler. Ryder hits a middle rope dropkick for two. Swagger comes back with a powerslam for two but Zack pops off some punches. This isn’t going to last long. There’s the Broski Boot but the Rough Ryder is countered. Ryder is sent to the floor and Ziggler gets in a shot. Slaughter hits the Slaughter Cannon to put him over the announce table. Swagger beats down Sarge and steals the Ryder headband he was wearing. Back inside the Vader Bomb misses and the Rough Ryder ends this at 3:45.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but Slaughter being brought in was the right idea. He’s a character that it’s impossible to not like a little bit and for a patriotic show, you really can’t go wrong with him. This was short and there’s not much wrong with that. Although I’d question an AMERICAN character being a heel here.

Slaughter puts on the Cobra Clutch post match.

Hugh Jackman loves the troops.

The Bellas visit West Point.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Maria Menounos

Maria is the host of I think Extra. She was a guest host of Raw a few years ago. Eve vs. a Bella starts us off but it’s off to Maria quickly. Off to Eve with the other Bella quickly and the standing moonsault gets two. Beth comes in but gets caught by an enziguri. Kelly comes in and everything breaks down with one from each side having the upper hand for about 3 seconds. Maria comes in against Beth and gets a pin off a sunset flip. This was what it was.

The Muppets love the troops and show more personality than other celebrities combined.

Celine Dion loves the troops.

George Wallace, a comedian, does a brief routine.

Video on Nash vs. HHH.

Booker joins in on commentary.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

Bryan’s ribs are still taped. Rhodes goes straight for them, dropping the ribs onto the corner and taking over quickly. Off to a surfboard and Rhodes stomps him down in the corner. The commentary is all about Booker and Cole, which is a bit more understandable due to Booker facing Rhodes on Sunday. A clothesline puts Cody on the floor but Bryan jumps into a kick to the ribs. Booker checks on Bryan and pops Cody in the jaw, allowing Bryan to get a rollup in the ring for the pin at 4:35.

Rating: C-. Intense match while it lasted and it sets up Booker vs. Cody even better for Sunday. I’m actually looking forward to that match which really surprises me. I don’t think Booker will win the title but it should be an entertaining match at least as Booker is almost always watchable. This was just for the ending and that’s fine.

Booker beats on Cody a bit post match and there’s a Spinarooni

Carson Daly loves the troops.

Mary J. Blige performs.

Air Boom runs into Miss USA and does the Boom Boom Boom.

Robin Williams loves the troops.

The Dancing with the Stars winner, a veteran, says the troops are cool. He judges some of the wrestlers dancing. They’re videos of guys in the past and Eve gets the high score despite having nothing on Layla. Granted she didn’t have a video in this.

Hornswoggle does the announcing for this.

Air Boom vs. Primo/Epico

Rosa is with the non-champions and she’s still gorgeous. Kofi vs. Epico to get us started. Epico and Primo are real life cousins. Off to Bourne very quickly and he does his usual high flying stuff to fire the crowd up. Epico takes over and works on the back of Kofi but there’s a tag to Bourne who comes in with a rana. Everything breaks down and a Backstabber by Epico ends Bourne at 2:59. I guess there are your next champions.

Matthew McConaughey loves the troops.

Nickelback performs again. This time it’s a new song called When We Stand Together.

Christina Aguliera loves the troops.

Here’s Christian looking like he fell out of a building. He’s in agony but is here to celebrate the Canadian Army. Cue Sheamus to glare at him.

Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew actually comes out second and gets a full entrance. Sheamus beats him up but can’t get the Celtic Cross. Drew gets in a few shots but Sheamus remembers he’s Sheamus and he’s fighting Drew McIntyre so he takes Drew down and a Brogue Kick ends this at 2:15.

Jimmy Fallon loves the troops.

Regis Philbin loves the troops.

Mary J. Blige performs again.

Bradley Cooper loves the troops.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Mark Henry vs. John Cena/CM Punk/Big Show

Punk vs. Miz to start us off. Off to Cena who gets a bit reaction. He and Punk do some nice double team stuff and Punk messes up a bit and covers Miz at the same time Cena does. I think he legit forgot he wasn’t legal. Not a big deal but kind of funny. Off to Show who hits one of the hardest sounding chops I’ve ever heard. Del Rio comes in very slowly. Henry comes in about four seconds later and here’s the big showdown.

Henry gets the better of it and slams Show for two. The heels take turns beating on Show and Henry comes back in for a bearhug. Show fights out of it and hits a superkick. Double clothesline and both guys are down. Off to Miz vs. Punk with the champion taking over. Punk and Show do the Snuka/Andre move for the elbow to set up the Anaconda Vice but Del Rio comes in for the save.

Punk fights off Henry and here’s your real hot tag to Cena. He hits the suplex on Henry and I guess it must be the camo that makes no one able to see him. Everything breaks down and we get the usual ending to this show where all of the faces hit their finishers for the pin, with Cena hitting the AA on Henry to officially end it at 9:20.

Rating: C. This is the standard finish for this show and that’s just fine. This is about giving the troops something cool to end things and they did that just fine. Cena, the military themed guy, ending things with a huge power move is perfectly acceptable. This was about exactly what you would have expected and that’s all it needed to be. Fine ending.

Cena thanks the roster (which is all on the stage) and all of the troops for what they do. Nothing wrong with that.

Overall Rating: C+. I didn’t get into this one as much as I have in previous years. It just didn’t feel the same as it does when it’s outdoors. This felt more like a big commercial for TLC, which is understandable, but it didn’t quite click like most of the shows usually do. Still though, it’s fine for what it was and it’s not supposed to be anything serious. Not bad, but they’ve done it better.

Results
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett went to a double countout
Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger – Rough Ryder
Maria Menounos/Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix – Sunset flip to Phoenix
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – Rollup
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom – Backstabber to Bourne
Sheamus b. Drew McIntyre – Brogue Kick
John Cena/CM Punk/Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Mark Henry – AA to Henry

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 28, 2001
Location: Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Attendance: 12,477
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Tonight we keep going with the King of the Ring build and more of Austin vs. the Canadians. I think I vaguely remember this show but I’m not sure. There’s one major thing that happens tonight which is the start of something big and you’ll know what I’m talking about when we get there. The card looks decent so let’s get to it.

We get a video from Smackdown where Benoit and Jericho defended their titles in a TLC match, which I’ve actually reviewed. Here’s the Smackdown if you’re interested:

http://forums.wrestlezone.com/showthread.php?p=3422809#post3422809

It’s a shame we didn’t have the title change here in Calgary. Can you imagine the pop for that?

A courier sent JR a letter earlier today saying Undertaker’s wife would be here tonight. It wasn’t signed. And so it begins. That’s not the big thing I was referencing earlier either.

Here’s Vince to open things up. He doesn’t like being in Calgary and they don’t seem too happy to see him either. Vince talks about how in Canada, French and English can get along and that amazes him. Some people even feel proud to say they’re Canadian. Think that pops the audience much? Vince thinks maybe Canadians are happy to have brought Americans hockey, strong beer, or the word “eh”. However, Americans should never go to Canada.

Cue Jericho….and his mic doesn’t work. Vince: “That must have been a Canadian microphone.” Jericho gets right to the point: he wants Austin for the title and he wants him tonight. Vince declines so Jericho accuses him of wearing a toupee. He brings up Vince being a genetic jackhammer and says that Vince has made two sl***: Stephanie, and his new one: Austin. Vince also is a great singer, and with that we get the always awesome Stand Back video. Vince is ticked so he gives Jericho his title shot. Just not against Austin. It’s against Big Show for the Hardcore Title.

Cue Benoit who says he can’t just “STAND BACK” and let Jericho have all the fun. Benoit says that he should get the match with Austin. He even has more footage from Stand Back night, this part focusing more on Vince’s dancing abilities. Benoit gets to face Rhyno. Whoever is more impressive in their individual matches gets Austin for the title. Somehow this segment took twenty minutes.

Stu Hart (looking like he had no idea where he is) and his family are here.

Hardy Boys vs. Justin Credible/X-Pac

Justin vs. Jeff starts us off and it’s off to their partners a few seconds in. Matt gets crotched on the post and Lita’s evening is ruined according to Heyman. Bronco Buster to Matt. Oh and Eddie is here with the Hardys. When the referee isn’t looking, Lita crotches Pac on the post as payback for her unattended vagina that night. Hot tag brings in Jeff and he cleans house. Eddie breaks up a double superkick, allowing the Hardys to hit their finishers on Pac for the pin.

Rating: C-. Really quick match here but they didn’t get boring or anything. Eddie would be gone after Smackdown due to rehab and so we never found out where this was going. I’d asssume it would be to an eventual Eddie heel turn, possibly with Lita, but there’s no way to really know. Decent match though.

Eddie saves Matt from Albert post match.

Trish and Terri fight over a mirror.

Tajiri is cleaning Regal’s office when Albert comes in and demands a match with Eddie. Regal says ok.

Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno

Rhyno goes for the bad ribs immediately, hurting Benoit with a gorilla press drop. Benoit snaps off the rolling Germans and the Crossface but Rhyno grabs the rope. The Gore hits but Benoit rolls to the floor. Benoit fight back and hits the Rolling Germans again but opts for some chops instead of covering. A superplex puts the man beast down for two. The Gore is countered into the Crossface for the tap. This was short but intense. Not enough to rate though.

We recap the Blackman/Trish/Grandmaster thing. Sexay thinks shenanigans of a sexual nature were afoot.

Steve Blackman/Trish Stratus vs. Perry Saturn/Terri

At least the girls look good. Saturn is loopy and Terri is in a skin colored bikini. Nice to see she’s taking this seriously. The men start us off and Saturn hammers him down. The girls come in to wake the crowd up a bit and Trish is just not that good yet. The guys come in again and Blackman dominates. Terri interferes and gets spanked. Catfight time and here’s your major moment: Lance Storm runs in and superkicks Saturn so Blackman can get the pin.

And that was the start of the Invasion.

The match was junk and too short to rate again. It sucked, although the girls looked good.

During the break, Storm ran out of the building, celebrated with Shane, and left in a limo. Paul: “It’s just begun.”

Vince FREAKS on security in the back.

Al Snow is at WWF New York. He talks about his new show: Tough Enough.

Spike and Molly are all lovey dovey in the back. I see why these two never talked. Spike is about to kiss her when Angle comes in. He says it’ll be a mistake and offers them a lesson in the birds of the bees. Spike protests and smacks Angle. Just guess how well that goes for Spike. Molly goes looking for the Dudleys to help Spike but they just happen to run out in front of the Hollies, who beat down the Dudleys. See how simply a story and feud can be made?

After a break the Dudleys are yelling at Spike. Molly is going through a table.

Hardcore Title: Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Lillian says Jericho is also the IC Champion, which is completely wrong. Jericho lost that title almost two months before this. He runs past Show and gets in the ring first, hitting a baseball slide to take over. A chair shot doesn’t work as Show knocks it away. Remember he’s still banged up from TLC. Show take over with the power game and throws around various metal object.

Jericho manages to dropkick a chair into Show’s knee but is then easily tossed head first into a trashcan. Total dominance so far. Show misses a legdrop onto a trashcan and Jericho gets in a few shots which don’t get him anywhere. Show puts him on the middle rope and picks up the steps. Jericho manages to fire off a dropkick into the steel to knock them into Show’s head and a fast Lionsault gives him his second title at the moment.

Rating: C. I don’t know why but I liked this. Jericho sold like a master and I can actually buy the ending because it puts Jericho over very strong. The finish was clean too, as Jericho didn’t cheat at all to win this, given the structure of the rules. Fun match and I have no idea why I liked it as much as I did, since there certainly isn’t much to it.

Jericho holds up both belts on the stage and turns around into a Gore by Rhyno to give him the Hardcore Title.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Albert

Dig that X-Factor theme. That’s the only good thing they had going for them. Eddie pounds away as fast as he can but Albert catches him and starts using the power. BIG gorilla press puts Eddie down. Eddie gets in a dropkick to the knee but his dive to the floor is caught and Albert rams him into the post. Eddie counters a powerbomb but Albert runs him over again. Lita comes running out as Eddie counters a Baldo Bomb into a rollup for the pin. Too short to rate but Eddie did his usual good stuff. No idea what Lita added to this.

Mick Foley was on the Today Show about his new book which is also a New York Times #1 bestseller. Can you imagine a wrestler today writing a book and having it go to #1 on the New York Times bestseller list? Foley did it TWICE.

We get the first of the Stalking Sara videos where someone is filming Undertaker’s pretty blonde wife at her house. The reveal would be awesome at the time and then would totally fall flat on its face.

The Hollies talk about the tables match and Molly begs to keep Spike from going through the table.

The Canadian Chrises talk about getting the title match tonight when Vince comes in. Both of them have impressed him and they’ve both earned a title shot at Stone Cole. Austin wants to fight them both at the same time but Vince isn’t letting that happen. Benoit gets the shot. Post show Vince wants to know where the Stand Back footage came from. Jericho gives him a pep talk. He wants the first shot and Benoit has no problem with that.

Tajiri broke something in Regal’s office but Vince comes in before he can get fired. Tajiri bows a lot and Vince doesn’t get it. Regal sends Tajiri off to get some coffee for Vince. “Bloody foreigners.” Vince says Austin has a brilliant idea for the main event and tells Regal to make sure to watch, but he won’t say what it is.

Dudley Boys vs. Hollys

This is a tables match. Just the four people in this one so no Spike or Molly, but they’re at ringside. I think you only have to put one person through a table to win. The Hollys take over to start and Crash brings in a table. Bubba prevents Hardcore from powerbombing D-Von through it and JR says he thinks Hardcore was attempting a powerbomb. Was it when he powerbombed D-Von that gave him away Jimbo?

The cousins try to throw Crash into Bubba through a table but instead Bubba moves and Crash just bounces off of it and lands on his head. FREAKING OW MAN!!! What’s Up Hardcore? It’s Table Time but Hardcore dropkicks them down. Not that it matters because there’s a 3D through the table for Hardcore and the win.

Rating: C-. Not bad but nothing to remember. I think this blew off their feud which was a fine little feud that was aired on TV. Why they don’t do more of that I’m not sure, but it was perfectly fine, it brought in some new blood to the tag division (which didn’t stay around but whatever) and it came to a logical conclusion. Now why can’t they do that more often?

The Dudleys try to put Molly through a table so Spike says put me through it instead. For some reason he thinks laying on the table is going to stop them, and I think you know what’s coming. Molly is powerbombed through Spike through the table. Molly keeps asking if Spike is ok as she goes out.

We talk about the semi-huge white elephant in the room: HHH isn’t here. We get a video of him in the office of Dr. James Andrews and him getting the diagnosis. It’ll be six weeks of crutches and then at least four months to heal before we even start rehabilitation. HHH talks about being put in the Walls of Jericho and then collapsing after the match ended. He knows he’ll be back and it was never if he would be back.

The next day was the surgery and I know the timing is bad but my goodness Stephanie is beautiful. This was a bad quad tear because the tear was under the first layer of muscle which made it hard to find. The repair was good though. JR says he’ll be out at least four months, which wound up being closer to seven.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Chris Benoit

I remember this match happening and I fell asleep before it ended so I’ve never seen this all the way through. For some reason Lillian doesn’t introduce them here. Instead the Fink does big match intros. I guess she got the night off for the screw up earlier? Benoit has taped up ribs. Fink’s voice is just perfect. There’s something right about him introducing the world title match.

Austin goes after the bad ribs immediately and Benoit tries for a home run Crossface. Remember we’re in Canada so everything Benoit does gets a big eruption. He chops away but Austin his the Thesz Press. Benoit grabs a Crossface and the place explodes. Austin finally gets a rope and they go to the floor. The challenger gets fired into the steps and we go back into the ring.

Benoit gets a Sharpshooter and it’s in the middle of the ring. The place goes nuts and Benoit pulls him back to the middle of the ring. Austin FINALLY gets a rope and the booing is great. Out to the floor and Austin suplexes Benoit onto the announce table which doesn’t break. There’s an abdominal stretch back in the ring. I think JR’s voice is about to go. Benoit gets it broken due to the referee seeing Austin cheating and here are some rolling Germans.

We go up and Chris looks for a superplex but Austin counters and slams him face first onto the mat. Austin’s superplex gets two. Austin tries a belt shot but Hebner takes it from him. Back in the ring we get a Stunner but Vince is arguing with Hebner. Benoit gets up and clocks Austin with the belt but the count is delayed so it’s only a two. This is REALLY good stuff. Another Stunner attempt is countered into the Crossface but Vince pulls the referee out. Hebner shoves Vince down but Austin gets the ropes again. And then in a HORRIBLE ending, Austin puts the Crossface on and Vince says ring the bell. Yep, they did that.

Rating: B+. Until the ending, this was excellent. I’d love to see these two get twenty five minutes in a PPV main event and let them let it all hang out, but I’ll have to settle for a 12 minute Raw main event instead. Great match which I was getting into 10 years later and knowing the ending. That should say a lot about how great it was.

Jericho comes out and puts Austin in the Walls while Vince is in the Crossface.

Overall Rating: B+. I really liked this show. A lot of stuff happened on it and we get a great main event on top of it. Plus you get the starts of the Stalker and Invasion, which are both pretty big deals. Unfortunately the Invasion would be one of the worst run angles in the history of wrestling if not the worst, so we kind of peaked early. More would come soon enough though. Great show.

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