Ring of Honor – November 5, 2011 – Worst Show Yet

Ring of Honor
Date: November 5, 2011
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly

This is week what, 8? I’m not sure what to expect from this one but it’s probably going to be more of the build to Final Battle. If nothing else that show is going to be very well established when we get there. Expect more of Richards vs. House of Truth which would be great to have in a Survivor Series/Team match. Anyway let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event where Strong beat O’Reilly.

The main event tonight Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team vs. a new team.

Here’s Cornette to make an important announcement. Final Battle is the show of the year so the world title match is going to be Richards defending against………..Eddie Edwards. Yeah no one else is surprised about this as Edwards is Richards’ partner and the guy he beat for the title in the first place. Edwards says it’ll be Edwards vs. Richards III (Edwards beat Richards in the final of a tournament for the first ROH TV Title.

The camera shots are way too close here at times. Edwards talks about all the training that Richards does. Edwards says he has a new trainer but won’t say who it is right now. Could this be a heel turn? Cue Richards who is really short. He says they’re going to do this one more time for this belt right here which means something, unlike most others. It’s wolf vs. wolf and it’s on in New York.

One more thing before Richards leaves though. Regarding the House of Truth, next week how about we have the American Wolves vs. the House of Truth? Edwards says it’s on, but remember that when the fans are chanting next world champ at them, they mean Edwards, because he’s going to win at Final Battle.

Here’s a video on Edwards and his road to Final Battle which included beating Michael Elgin a few weeks ago.

Truth Martini and Elgin say that only what Martini says matters. Elgin apparently caused his brother to be badly injured by not taking keys from him. And he hurt his father before he died. I guess this is more of Martini’s brainwashing.

Elgin’s dinner for tonight says nothing of note.

Shiloh Jonze vs. Michael Elgin

Jonze (yes that’s how it’s spelled) is an OVW guy. Elgin won’t shake hands. He’s a big power guy who hammers Jonze down in the corner with ease. Jonze gets a boot up in the corner but a tornado DDT is easily countered into a powerslam. Jonze tries some clotheslines and a sunset flip but the latter is countered. The counter however is avoided and Jonze goes up for a top rope punch, getting two. There’s a buckle bomb and a helicopter bomb ends the torture at 3:45.

Rating: C-. I don’t know what to say about squashes and this was a very squashy one. I guess this was to let Elgin get back in the good graces after the loss to the bigger star in Edwards. Nothing boring here and it did the right job as a squash. Still though, not much to see and when you have two matches on the show, one being under four minutes isn’t a good idea.

We talk about ROH banning Kevin Steen. There’s a video from attorney Christopher Mascagni (midcard heel manager in OVW) who is representing Kevin Steen. There’s a lawsuit against Steen which says Cornette cost him his career or something. Cornette has four weeks to fix this. Steen says that he should beat up Cornette and he won’t go away. He has things to do when he comes back and will do whatever it takes, including beating Davey Richards if need be, which only he can do. Then Cornette will admit Steen belongs in ROH.

Mike Bennett says he won the TV Title match so he didn’t bother going into overtime. The referee says he had no intention in ending the match. Lethal says he injured himself instead of Bennett doing the damage. I’d like to point out that we’re almost 35 minutes into a 60 minute show and we’ve had less than four minutes of in ring time.

Video on the tag match last week where the Briscoes beat the All Night Express.

We discuss the Proving Ground. The idea is any credible opponent can apply for a match with a champion. Once approved, they get a match with a set time limit which is non-title. If they win or go to a time limit draw, they get a title shot in 60 days.

Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander vs. Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team

This is one of those Proving Ground matches. There’s a 15 minute time limit here. Alexander has the blonde mowhawk. Got it. Coleman vs. Benjamin starts us off. Benjamin works on the arm to start and Coleman can’t get anything going. He’s trying though so give him some points for that. Coleman manages to send him to the corner and gets a surprised look from Shelton.

Off to Haas vs. Alexander who is a bit more physical than his partner. Benjamin gets a blind tag in and kicks Alexander down for two. The champs have never really been in trouble at all. Haas works over the knee as we take a break. Back with Alexander fighting out of something by Benjamin but Shelton kicks him down with ease. Haas works on a leg lock but eventually walks into a bad tornado DDT.

We’re over ten minutes in now if this is in real time. Double tag brings in Coleman and Benjamin who is taken down by a leg lariat for two. We have less than four minutes according to Kelly. The non-champions speed things up and hit a double dropkick to send Haas into the barricade. Three minutes left. Their clock is about 10 seconds off but it’s close enough. There’s a double powerbomb to Coleman and we’re done at 12:55.

Rating: C. Uh…so? The champions beat the newcomers with their finishing move. Is this supposed to be surprising in a way or something? If Coleman and Alexander were worth something they would be on the roster already. Not a bad match or anything but it’s not like anything changes now or in the future. I don’t mean it hurt anything but it didn’t change things at all.

Post match here are the Briscoes. They say they’re awesome and will take the titles in New York.

Overall Rating: D+. This was one of the least interesting shows on the entire series so far. Everything was designed to set up future shows and we only had two squashes (for the most part) in the whole show. Not much to see here and they really need to work on their pacing some more. I wasn’t liking this show and after two months, that’s not good.

Results
Michael Elgin b. Shiloh Jonze – Helicopter Powerbomb
Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team b. Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander – Wrestling’s Greatest Finisher to Coleman

 

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Genesis 2007 – Man, the X-Division Rocked Back Then

Genesis 2007
Date: November 11, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Continuing our trip through 2007 TNA we have Genesis. The main event is one of TNA’s favorites: a tag match with the world title on the line. There isn’t much else here other than the final of a tournament with perhaps the most complicated stipulations that have ever existed in a wrestling tournament, and when you think about it that covers A LOT of ground. Let’s get to it.

We open with the National Anthem. I don’t know if this was held on a holiday or what.

The opening video talks about a new beginning and being in a brand new world. Sting’s partner in the main event is a mystery partner which was mostly spoiled before this show.

A limo is outside.

Black Reign vs. Abyss

No DQ of course since it’s an Abyss match. Reign is Goldust and has a workshop of horrors or some jazz like that. They start brawling in the aisle with Abyss taking over to start. Into the ring and they slug it out a bit. Ok forget about that as we’re back on the floor again. Abyss breaks a piece of wood or plaster over Reign’s head. Into the crowd as I lay corrected: this isn’t No DQ. It’s a Black Reign Shop of Horrors match. How clumsy of me.

They fight up the ramp where there’s a big box standing up. Reign pulls out a key but can’t get inside. Instead he sends Abyss down the ramp and into the ring again. Reign takes over with some clotheslines and now it’s time to go hardcore. Abyss takes over and pulls out the barbed wire bat. They go up the ramp again and Abyss grabs a chokeslam to put Reign through a table off the stage.

Back to the ring and Abyss grabs a board covered in mouse traps. Did we teleport into a Japanese death match? Now Abyss puts Reign’s hands into a vice to injure the fingers. Instead Abyss grabs Reign’s rat but James Mitchell saves it from a PETA assault. The rat goes into Mitchell’s shirt but Abyss is sent into the traps….for two. There are some kendo stick shots and Reign loads up brass knuckles. He walks into a Black Hole Slam and gets pinned for his efforts though.

Rating: C-. This match had rat traps, a rat, and vices. What does this have to do with wrestling again? Another thing: how exactly can this be Reign’s specialty match if it’s never happened before? Apparently he’s not that good at it as he’s lost the only one that has ever existed. Never let it be said Russo didn’t have 1000 names for a hardcore match.

Post match Abyss opens up the box from earlier and finds the debuting Rellik. They beat Abyss down and lock him in the box. The box is shoved off the stage and that’s it. Did this whole segment really warrant the first 20 minutes of a PPV? Seriously?

Jeremy can’t find out who is in the limo even though Kurt asked him to.

We run down the card that the fans already paid for. I still don’t get that.

We recap Team 3D vs. the Guns. The idea here is that the Dudleys hate the small guys that fly around all over the place. They would go to war with it for months which resulted in very little although the matches weren’t that bad.

The Guns say this is about taking their rightful place on the list of great teams.

Team 3D vs. Motor City Machine Guns

It’s the second brawl on the ramp to start the match tonight. The Guns take over with their speed early on and bust out some nifty double teaming stuff. The Dudleys start to walk off and then go after the announcers for a bit. Ok back to the match with Bubba vs. Sabin in the first official pairing of the match. A slick hurricanrana sends Ray into Shelley and Ray is frustrated. Off to D-Von who gets two off a side slam/legdrop combo.

Sabin literally dives into a tag to Shelley who fires off some strikes to take over. Ray breaks up some double teaming and D-Von takes over on Alex for a bit. Some chinlocking is broken up by an enziguri but he can’t make the tag. Ray comes in and the guy is pretty awesome as an evil jerk. Ray challenges D-Von to see who can hit Shelley harder. Now that’s just mean.

Back to that chinlock which D-Von could at least flex on. Shelley gets a big old kick in and both guys are down. There’s your hot tag and Sabin cleans at least the basement and ground floor. Tornado DDT gets two on D-Von. As the Guns double team D-Von, Ray shouts in encouragement. “Come on D-Von! Come on! OH MY GOD!” That last part was when the Guns hit a dropkick to send him to the floor.

This actually is pretty solid stuff, mainly as the Guns are very exciting to watch. A rana sets up a frog splash for two. Ray comes back in and kills both of them with a double clothesline. Hey Alex, What’s Up? It’s Table Time and I don’t get why. Do they think they’ll get away with it? Even the Dudleys aren’t that stupid. The Guns take over again and the High Low gets two. Ray grabs his belt and whips Sabin with it a little.

Dudleyville Device gets two. A table is set up in the corner but Sabin walks up the table and backflips to the ring (think Bryan in the corner but much faster and impressive looking). D-Von is sent through the table but that isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. The Guns hit their series of kicks to Ray and we’re done.

Rating: B. Entertaining match here, odd rule choices aside. This was power vs. speed and you really don’t need to do much more than that most of the time. The matches are almost always fun and this was exactly that. This would lead into a months long feud which eventually incorporated Johnny Devine and Jay Lethal over the X-Title. It would also result in a fish market street fight but we’ve covered that before.

Angle yells at JB for not being able to find out who is in the limo. Angle is paranoid and accuses Nash, his partner later on, of being in on this. Nash chokes him against the wall and says they can fight after they get rid of Sting and the mystery partner.

We recap the Knockout Title match. Basically, Kim won the first title at BFG and is in a four way for her first title defense.

Knockout Title: Angel Williams vs. Gail Kim vs. ODB vs. Roxxi Laveux

Williams is Angelina Love before she meant anything other than a good looking blonde. She doesn’t have those ugly arm tattoos either. This might be ODB’s debut match. Actually she was at BFG. Good enough. Gail says she isn’t losing the title after a month. The New Age Outlaws (Voodoo Kin Mafia here) are at ringside for Roxxi. Gail fights off all three of them to start and does it pretty easily. One of the Outlaws tries to interfere and they’re out of here.

Now Roxxi is hypnotizing the referee. Gail is taken down on the floor as Love is beaten down. We get the required spanking as my eyes roll. Roxxi and ODB have something like a dance off and ODB rams Roxxi’s head into her crotch. A bicycle kick by Love takes Roxxi down and thank goodness Gail is back. There’s a cross body to the floor to take out Roxxi. ODB beats on Angelina a bit but the blonde gets a pretty sweet counter into a DDT for two.

The Tower of Doom puts out every non-champion. Scratch that idea as Gail hits a missile dropkick to Roxxi and everyone is down. Now they slug it out and I think we’re wrapping things up. A dropkick puts Roxxi down and a middle rope leg lariat gets two. Roxxi spits something in ODB’s eyes and gets speared down. Gail hits a Regal Cutter on ODB to retain.

Rating: C-. This was as plain and basic of a four way match as you could ask for. That being said it’s pretty entertaining and things worked out fairly well here to leg Kim have her first title defense. That being said, any match where we can look at Kim in tiny white shorts for about ten minutes makes it good to me.

Post match Kong comes out to stare down Kim, setting up their eventual feud.

Karen pushes her way into the limo but finds Eric Young and James Storm trying to have a drinking contest. Storm as a comedy character isn’t bad.

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt

They’re partners who are having a face vs. face match. Lethal is champion and is dating So Cal Val here. Scratch that as they haven’t hooked up yet. Dutt and Jay hug pre-match but in a manly way. Things start fast and it’s a stalemate. They botch something but try to turn it into a backslide by Jay. They reverse some pinfalls and Sonjay slaps him to tense things up a bit.

There’s a harder slap and Lethal fires back. Now he offers a hug as we’re playing some mind games. Dutt throws him to the floor and there’s a HUGE flip dive by Sonjay. There’s something cool about just whipping one of those out. The fans are split now. Dutt takes over and hits a double knee to the chest for two. Lethal tries to get something going but jumps into a dropkick for two.

Dutt seems to be questioning his mid-match heel turn and the delay lets Lethal get a middle rope leg lariat to put both of them down. Moonsault press gets two for the champion. Springboard missile dropkick sends Dutt to the floor and there’s a suicide dive as Lethal is in control. Back inside they speed things up and exchange some counters until Jay gets in a solid kick for two.

Dutt goes up for a moonsault but Jay rolls away. Dutt doesn’t miss a beat and lands on his feet where he hits a standing moonsault for two. Lethal shoves him off so Dutt hits a running standing shooting star press for two. The fans say that was awesome and for once they’re right. Dutt plays possum and grabs a cutter but doesn’t let go and rolls back into a his camel clutch finisher. Lethal grabs the rope quickly as this has to be close to finished. Lethal is all ticked off and fires off punches in the corner but charges into a pendulum kick. Dutt tries to get too fancy and walks into the Lethal Combination. The big elbow retains the title.

Rating: B. Where did this come from??? This was a very fun match with them cranking it up time after time. I can see why this feud went on forever as they kept trying to hit this level again or even top it. This is what the smaller guys are all about: having a fast paced match to entertain the crowd and it worked very well here. Fun match.

They hug post match. Val is called into the ring and Dutt throws his flowers around. Cue Team 3D for the big heel beatdown and Dutt takes a big 3D. Here’s one for Lethal as well. Ray says the Guns cheated so they’re taking the title belt hostage.

Nash says the mystery partner is not Scott Hall. Nash leaves and we hear Storm and Young having the drinking contest again. Young stays in it and Storm is ticked off. More in 20 minutes.

Tag Titles: AJ Styles/Tomko vs. Steiner Brothers

Yes, those Steiner Brothers. In 2007. They’re faces here and AJ set this up by challenging Scott to a takedown contest. Rick is in a Steiner Brothers t-shirt and workout pants. I think that’s better for everyone. Scott vs. AJ starts us off and AJ’s luck isn’t very good here. Scott beats AJ like he stole something but Tomko’s distraction lets AJ hit a jumping enziguri (not the Pele) and a dive over the top to take over.

Steiner grabs the spinning belly to belly and it’s off to Rick vs. Tomko. At least the workout pants have bulldogs on them. A Death Valley Driver puts Tomko down but the champs take over and make him the face in peril. And scratch that as a Steiner Line brings in Scott. Tomko grabs a powerbomb and AJ adds a splash for two. Scott has a chain hanging from his beard. That can’t be a good idea.

Rick comes in off the not very hot tag and cleans house on the champions. The Steiners load up the Steiner Bulldog to AJ and I shudder with Rick on top for a big move. It actually doesn’t kill Styles but Tomko has to make the save anyway. Scott and Tomko have a brawl on the floor as Rick powerbombs AJ. The referee is down on the floor thanks to the brawl so Rick’s cover doesn’t matter. Somehow a chair gets into the ring and Styles kicks Rick low and a chair shot ends this.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what the point of this was. The Steiners hadn’t meant anything in about 12 years at this point but it’s the TNA attitude of once a draw, always a draw. This was nothing to see at all and the match was pretty weak, especially with the champs having to cheat to win. They would hold the titles for a then record 6 months.

We recap Joe vs. Roode. Roode jumped Joe to save Christian for no apparent reason so Joe knocked Roode out of the Fight for the Right Tournament. Miss Brooks cost Roode….something so he yelled at her even more. This gets the music video treatment.

Roode says he isn’t afraid of Joe. Ms. Brooks wants to know who Roode’s stalker fan is.

Robert Roode vs. Samoa Joe

Joe gets the full Samoan dancers entrance. Roode runs away immediately but doesn’t get far. Joe runs quickly for a fat boy. We get into the usual stuff and Joe fires off the suicide elbow to the floor. Roode is sat in a chair as the fans call for the Ole Kick. The kick is caught and Roode slams the foot into the chair instead as he takes over. The brawl goes both ways for a bit until Joe sends him into the steps and into the ring we go.

The Samoan chops on Roode’s chest while he’s sat on the ropes but Roode snaps off a Blockbuster for two. Roode chokes away but HE HAS TIL FIVE! There’s a Hennig neck snap and Roode slaps him around a little bit. A clothesline gets two. Time for a long chinlock as this feels like one of those matches that gets way too much time. Of course it could be just that Roode is dull in the ring but who knows?

Now it’s a sleeper as the time waster of choice. Roode is sent to the apron for a bit and jumps back into a cutter in a pretty cool looking counter. Joe takes over with his running strikes….and Miss Brooks is out cold. This was a “legit” fainting but after it was called legit, reports came out that said Russo told her to do it and didn’t tell anyone else.

Joe hits a snap powerslam for two, followed by the powerbomb-Boston crab-STF sequence. Roode escapes the Clutch and manages to sneak in a low blow as well. There’s the release Rock Bottom but Roode hits the northern lariat for two. Roode was in that bad spot a heel gets into at times where he didn’t have a solid enough finisher so he’ll try whatever he can, like that piledriver which gets two. Fisherman’s suplex is countered though and a MuscleBuster ends this clean.

Rating: C. Like I said earlier, the problem here is that the match ran too long. It wasn’t bad but Roode wasn’t worth watching at all around this point and it was pretty clear that was the case. Joe would move on to a long feud with Angle where he would eventually win the title while Roode would eventually feud with Sting’s mystery partner.

Kurt is worried about the main event while Karen says chill. They get into a huge argument and leave. They go out to the limo as Karen says chill. Kurt goes after the security guards but Sting comes in to beat him back.

We recap the Fight for the Right Tournament. Oh boy explaining the Fight for the Right Tournament. This is like the teenage wet dream of a young Vince Russo that adult Vince Russo would smile at and say “if only…if only.” Then imagine if that actually happened. There were only two. Here’s the format for the second year (this one) which is actually less insane.

This is where the legendarily bad reverse battle royal began. Well, it began in the 2006 version but it was in Fight for the Right. So you have 16 people start on the floor. The first 8 people that can get into the ring advance to part two. The other 8 are eliminated. The other 8 will be placed into a single elimination tournament.

The seeds for that tournament (a tournament inside of a tournament remember) will be determined by the order of elimination (first out is the 8 seed, second is the 7 seed, winner is the 1 seed etc). Since it’s TNA, the #1 seed (Eric Young) lost. There was a first round draw so two people never involved (Christian and Joe) were inserted into a one-on-one match because a bye just couldn’t happen.

Junior Fatu (Rikishi) won in the first round but was also injured so Chris Harris somehow took his place. The finals were Christian vs. Kaz and it took place on Impact. However there was interference so the solution: HAVE THE FINAL AGAIN! This time it’s a ladder match because a gimmick match on PPV wasn’t in the original plans or something.

Just for fun, here’s the design of the original (2006) tournament which thankfully was all on TV.

This one also started with the reverse battle royal, because a regular one, as in a match that has gone on for years, wasn’t good enough for Old Vinny Ru. This time you had 18 people start and the first seven in had a regular battle royal. Once we got down to two people, they had a regular match. The winner of that (Abyss) advanced to a triple threat which served as the finals.

The man who lost the one on one match (Lance Hoyt) was the #1 seed (lost in the first round) in a six man tournament. There were three singles matches (one was somehow for the X-Division Title which AJ won) and the winners went on to a triple threat final of the tournament. The winner of that tournament went on to face Abyss in the final of the tournament (not the tournament within a tournament mind you. The tournament that the tournament inside the tournament is inside of) which Abyss won (he also won the title from Sting).

Got all that?

Christian says Kaz isn’t going to use him as a stepping stone. He tells AJ and Tomko to stay in the back.

Christian vs. Kaz

Winner gets a shot at the champion at some point in the future. Remember that it’s a ladder match. Kaz hammers away with some kicks and there’s the first ladder. Christian picks it up so Kaz hits a spinning dive over the top onto said ladder which hurts him more than the Canadian. Christian is bleeding right around the eye. Here’s ladder junior and it’s bridged between the ring and the barricade.

Kaz gets laid out on it and Christian goes up top. He drops a frog splash on Kaz, but the ladder is all like IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? THAT AIN’T GONNA BREAK ME BOY! That eye of Christian looks bad. Kaz moves out of the way and spins Christian into the ladder in the corner. He sandwiches Christian behind a ladder in the corner but on a charge Christian PELTS the ladder at Kaz, sending him down. The crowd is already way into this.

Christian does a few more painful things to Kaz but his attempt at the contract doesn’t work. Kaz gets in a nice looking shot as he swings the ladder like a bat. They both go up ladders and Christian manages to hit a reverse DDT off the top. Kaz gets up again and puts Christian on the ladder with a backdrop and then the spinning legdrop that he uses. The fans think it’s awesome and I can’t really disagree.

Kaz suplexes the ladder onto Christian and then goes up for the scary spot of the matc. He climbs to the very top of the ladder and drops a leg on Christian onto the ladder, but the middle part moves so Kaz’s leg hits the ladder square on. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Christian goes up so Kaz hits a springboard dropkick into the ladder which knocks the ladder into the ropes, knocking the cameraman off the apron.

AJ and Tomko come out but Christian calls them off. Both guys go up the ladder but it topples over. Christian goes flying down to the floor where he lands on the tag champions. The look on his face is great as it says “I just want to go home and have a grilled cheese.” Kaz was able to get his foot onto the rope to stop the fall and shove himself back up. He pulls down the contract to win it.

Rating: A-. Now THIS was fun. This is the third time tonight that the X-Division guys have been allowed to go out there and have fun and it’s the third very good match they’ve had. What else can you ask for other than that? Great match here with both guys beating each other up and taking some HARD shots.

Back to the drinking contest. JB is told both guys are drunk and he walks in on them. For some reason they both have their shirts off so JB gets a drink as well. They keep trying to outdrink each other but settle with the first man out the door wins. They get up and James passes out, making Young World Drinking Champion.

We recap the main event. Nash helped Angle get the title by beating Sting but wouldn’t help him after that. Sting has a mystery partner for the tag match which is for the world title. I’m not sure how that works but I don’t think TNA did either.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle/Kevin Nash vs. Sting/???

First person to get a fall wins, making it more or less a fatal fourway or four corners match. The mystery partner is the debuting Booker T which was spoiled by the time it happened. They had a graphic with various clues (they were trying to do their own SAVE US thing) but it said Huffman which gave things away. One day someone will have to explain to me how you can be returning to the ring after months off (Nash) or debut like Booker and be in a title match.

Sting vs. Angle gets us going and Sting takes over with some speed stuff. Well, speed for a guy in his late 40s. The fans chant “tag in Booker”. Instead it’s off to Nash and the fans still want Booker. It looks like we’re saving him for the big hot tag which isn’t a horrible idea. Or not as when I flip back to the video player Booker is legal. Booker takes over on Kurt with a side slam for two.

Nash comes back in and hooks a side slam for two on Booker. Booker fires off a spin kick and brings back Sting who goes nuts on everyone. Everything breaks down and Kurt hits a snap German on Sting. We’re running through the time in this match quickly running down. Off to a rest hold but they get up and Sting counters the Angle Slam into a DDT to put them both down again.

There’s the moderately warm tag to Booker and he beats down the heels. Spinarooni is debuted in TNA but a Book End only gets two. Booker totally messes up a spin kick on Nash for two. It was more or less a back shot to Nash. A Jackknife puts down Booker but Sting grabs the Death Drop on Nash. Here’s AJ who is sent right back out but Tomko takes out Sting. It’s implied that Karen brought them in. Sharmell, Booker’s wife, debuts and gets in a fight with Karen. Nash takes forever to load up a Jackknife on Sting so Kurt hits Nash with the belt and pins Sting after an Angle Slam to retain.

Rating: C. We’ve seen this a dozen times before which is what’s holding this back. It’s not a bad match or anything but how many times do you remember hearing about something like this? Booker’s debut was cool but it was pretty flat after the initial pop. The turn by the tag champs wasn’t bad either.

Overall Rating: B. With three very good (one great) matches and nothing being totally bad, you’ve got a pretty awesome show here. How many times do you remember a 9 match card having three very good matches on it? It’s very rare and this was a pretty shocking surprise. Good show and actually worth checking out, but you may want to cut it off before the main event as it’s pretty weak by comparison.

 

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Smackdown – November 4, 2011 – Smackdown Still Has It

Smackdown
Date: November 4, 2011
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

I’m not sure what we’re going to have tonight as we’re on the road to MSG and Survivor Series but nothing has really been announced. I’m pretty sure you can pencil in Show vs. Henry II so maybe that gets announced tonight. Other than that though the card is pretty blank on the Blue show so maybe we get a little something tonight. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is a short little woman that can’t stay out of people’s business and happens to be my boss.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

This is a street fight. Cole talks about how this is going to put the rivalry to an end so I guess this is the official blowoff. The crowd sounds very hot tonight. I guess they got a better audio inputer. The white belt on the crazy man champion is a nice touch. Cody is looking extra jacked tonight. Feeling out process to start until Orton takes over with a headlock. A dropkick sends Cody to the floor.

The brawl heads outside and Cody is getting intense. There’s a knee drop to the Viper and it gets two back inside. Orton is getting all fired up and slams Cody into the steps twice. A clothesline takes us into the crowd as this is looking to be a pretty good fight. Orton hammers away and sends Rhodes into a wall of some kind. One of the baggers gets backdropped and the other takes an RKO. Rhodes cowers on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Randy hammering on Cody on the ramp. Rhodes starts firing back and sets to suplex Randy off the stage. Wouldn’t that pull Cody with him? Randy counters with one of his own onto the steel and pounds down on Cody in the aisle. Back to the ring and Orton brings him in with a superplex. A delayed cover gets two. Both guys get up slowly and Rhodes gets a dropkick for two.

They hit the floor again and Rhodes is all ticked off. Cody charges at Orton but gets backdropped onto the timekeeper. Randy walks into a mask shot to put him down and we take another break. Back with Randy being thrown over the announce table as Cody is all fired up. Good heat for Rhodes as he goes to an armbar. Well it works the shoulder so it makes sense on Orton.

Orton keeps trying to fight back but Cody keeps pouring it on. Rhodes works on the knee and hooks of a Figure Four which is pretty smart. He takes the mask off and drills Orton in the head with it. Counting commercials this match has been going over 20 minutes now so this is one of the longer TV matches in awhile. Orton grabs the mask and drills Cody with it before loading up the RKO.

Cody shoves him off and drills the Beautiful Disaster. This has been an awesome match so far. Cross Rhodes is countered into a backdrop but the elevated DDT is countered as well. They head over the to barricade and Cody gets draped over them. The elevated DDT hits, but this time it’s outside on the floor. Rhodes is DONE. The bonus RKO ends this at 15:56 shown of 22:56.

Rating: B+. Very solid TV match here with Rhodes getting closer than ever to beating Randy. I can understand not putting Rhodes over and at least the loss is to someone clearly higher up on the food chain than him. Randy has a lot better resume when they take the rules away and when the matches are longer with this and his matches against Christian being good examples. Fun match and I was into it by the end.

In a nice cap to the feud, Randy bags Cody. Orton takes the mask with him.

Too long recap of HHH vs. Nash, who is now re-signed. Wasn’t he signed already?

Ted DiBiase vs. Tyson Kidd

Dibiase takes over to start but that doesn’t last long at all. Cole managed to go almost 40 minutes without making fun of Booker and he falls just short of it. The match is completely ignored as we argue over who has the most Twitter followers. Dream Street is countered once but the second attempt ends this at 2:06. Pretty much just a step above a squash.

Mark Henry says he’s tired of answering questions about Vengeance. Henry walks away and finds Daniel Bryan. He accuses Bryan of thinking of cashing in tonight but Bryan insists he’s waiting until Wrestlemania. Henry says it doesn’t matter how long Bryan waits. He’s going to go find Teddy Long and make a match between them tonight. That gets a pop from the crowd.

Alicia Fox vs. Natalya

this is supposed to be retribution for the Halloween battle royal or something like that. Alicia tries early on but Natalya is too much for her. Natalya: “You stuck your nose where it doesn’t belong!” Alicia: “THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY NOSE!!!” Natalya was choking her at the time so Alicia’s priorities are a bit out of whack. Speaking of out of, out of nowhere Alicia hits a scissors kick for the pin at 1:24. So she’s the flavor of the month now.

Here’s Big Show who says he’d rather fight than talk. He has unfinished business with Mark Henry and therefore, until he gets his rematch, he’s going to knock Henry out on every Smackdown. Cue Christian who says Show wants one more match. Christian however deserves one more shot because he’s gotten screwed over and over. Show has his hand by his head but says he’s scratching his head. For some reason Christian goes at him and there’s a chokeslam for you. He has a match with Sheamus next too.

After a break Sheamus is here but Christian is too hurt to go. Cue Barrett who says he’ll be a replacement.

Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus

Works for me. This is going to be a power brawl which is almost always fun. They slug it out to start and both guys has a brief advantage through their power games in the opening minute and a half. Sheamus hits the forearms to the chest and the slingshot shoulder for two. Barrett takes over and hits a big boot to send Sheamus out to the floor. That’s not something you see all that often but it happened here.

After a break Christian is still outside selling the chokeslam. Barrett has a bow and arrow hold on Sheamus but the very pale one is fighting out of it. A middle rope elbow gets two. Back to another chinlock as this has been mostly Barrett. Sheamus fires back but can’t hook the High Cross. The fans are split as Sheamus fights up. This would have made better sense next week when the show was in England but Barrett will be a face then. Here’s another High Cross attempt but Christian pops up as a distraction, letting Wade roll him up for the pin at 7:27 shown of 10:57.

Rating: C+. Pretty fun match here as the power brawls are always worth seeing. Barrett’s push continues and I’d love to see him challenge whoever is the face champion after Henry loses it. These two usually have entertaining matches when they pound on each other with reckless abandon and it worked here.

Sheamus is MAD post match following a spear from Christian.

Post break Sheamus is destroying Christian in the back until Barrett comes up for the save. Sheamus beats him up as well. This is probably build for the Survivor Series match.

The Muppets were on Raw and it’s still awesome.

Bryan is in the back (pop) when Show comes in (BIG pop) saying that he’ll be in Bryan’s corner tonight.

Sin Cara vs. Epico

Epico is a Mexican guy that I don’t recognize but is probably out of FCW. Pretty speedy start as you would expect until the Mexican hits a German on the Mexican to take over. There’s a Gory Special but Cara escapes and speeds things up. Cara goes up for the Swanton but here’s Hunico for the DQ at 2:17.

The double beatdown continues post match and Cara is left laying.

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Non-title here and Big Show is with Bryan. Bryan has a huge beard now. Henry throws Bryan into the air but gets caught in a guillotine choke. It lasts all of 5 seconds but still, it existed. Bryan gets sent to the floor again and Henry squashes his head against the post. He squashes Bryan’s head, not his own. Bryan has had practically no offense so far.

Off to a chinlock but Bryan fires off kicks, including a series to the knee to take him down. In standard giant vs. small man formula though, the fans pop as Bryan knocks him down but after all that Bryan is launched off during the pin. Back to the guillotine but he doesn’t have his hands locked. Henry casually throws Bryan off in a release northern lights suplex. There’s a running splash in the corner. There’s another splash and here’s Show for the DQ with the big right hand at 6:24.

Rating: C-. This was a squash for all intents and purposes. Henry wasn’t breaking a sweat at all here and I think that was the intended idea. By making Bryan look horribly weak at the beginning of this he can grow and look stronger by the end if he wins the title. Nothing that interesting but it also sets up the Show vs. Henry rematch.

Post match Show pours water over Bryan and says cash it in now. Bryan is barely alive so after figuring out what planet he’s on he tries to cash in, but Henry gets up and hits the Slam. The bell never rang so the case is safe. Henry knocks Show out with the case post match and hits the Slam on him as well. Teddy comes out and makes the match for Survivor Series to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Good show tonight with a lot going on. We get a pretty definitive ending to Orton vs. Rhodes, the main event from Smackdown set up, the upper midcard rivalry advanced with Barrett joining Team Christian, the midcard match advanced with Cara vs. the Evil Mexicans, and apparently the start of a moderate DiBiase push. This was old school Smackdown and it worked very well. Good show.

Results
Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes – RKO
Ted DiBiase b. Tyson Kidd – Dream Street
Alicia Fox b. Natalya – Scissors Kick
Wade Barrett b. Sheamus – Rollup
Sin Cara b. Epico via DQ when Hunico interfered
Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Big Show interfered

 

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Impact Wrestling – November 3, 2011 – New! Champion!

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 3, 2011
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

We’re on the road again in Georgia because we’re not allowed to go outside the SEC for some reason. Tonight’s main event is the Beer Money explosion because who needs months of build for a team that people have wanted to see feud for a very long time? I mean, they’ve had a week to build things up so that’s more than enough time I suppose. Anyway let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Storm vs. Roode which is still thrown together way faster than it should be.

Here’s the champ to open the show. He talks about respect because this is TNA. You say yes ma’am and no sir and you hold the door open for a lady. He talks about how he’s not going to be a champion that fights seven days a week because he watches football on Saturdays and Sunday is for church. Storm says he’s been around the world six times and there’s been one man at his side every time.

Cue Roode to a nice pop. Storm says they’re fighting tonight and his daughter wants to hold the belt after they go to Chuck E. Cheese. Roode says exactly what you would expect him to say. It’s the we’ve been friends forever and we’ll steal the show tonight jazz.

Ronnie from the Jersey Shore is here with Eric Young because TNA thinks we care.

Knockout Tag Titles: Tara/Brooke Tessmacher vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Time for the monthly defense of the titles. Brooke’s outfit is designed like a Texas flag for some reason. She and Madison start us off but it’s off to Tara quickly. The arm work begins as the champions are tagging fast. Gail comes in and is all dominant and evil for a bit. Tessmacher’s corner hijinks don’t really work this time. Gail beats on Brooke a bit more until it’s a hot tag to Tara. Everything breaks down and there’s the Widow’s Peak. Karen Jarrett has the referee though and Eat Defeat gives us new champions at 5:05.

Rating: D+. It’s not like anyone cares about the belts, but this is what you do with the titles here as they’re actually having a division wide angle going on. Karen is evil and trying to have her girls get the titles. It’s not particularly interesting but a dull story is better than a repetitive one on a treadmill like the Divas have so this was fine, just not that interesting.

Garrett Bischoff won’t apologize to his father tonight.

Garrett is in the ring after a break and calls his dad down to the ring. Garrett apologizes for not being the man his father wanted to be but he’s most sorry he didn’t do this years ago. With that he blasts his dad and beats him down until Flair and Gunner make the save.

Joe comes up to Sting and offers help with whatever Sting might need. Sting says it’s cool as there’s no Bischoff to mess with anything right now. Joe says he’s not going to be shut up even with a new sheriff in town. If Sting doesn’t respect Joe, there might be some mysterious injuries. Sting says cool. Joe leaves and here are Bischoff and Flair. Bischoff says Sting can’t fire him so Eric wants a match: his son against someone to be named later. If Sting grants it, Sting can rewrite Eric’s contract.

Daniels says that he’s awesome and beat AJ and never said he quit. He wants title shots because he’s earned them. Daniels says he beat RVD last week. As he’s talking, RVD pops up behind him but Daniels doesn’t see him. He goes on a rant about the screwdriver last week (Daniels that is) and the cameraman asks Rob if he has any thoughts. The thought is a right hand and a brawl breaks out. RVD beats him up and Daniels runs. RVD implies there’s a match at Turning Point.

Jesse Sorensen vs. Austin Aries

Non-title here. Kid Kash sits down on commentary to rant about old vs. new as usual. They speed things up a lot and Kash is already on my nerves. Sorensen misses a dive to the floor and Aries hits a GREAT suicide dive as Sorensen was flattened against the barricade. Kash spends the whole match ranting about how great he is and how he’ll be respected and all that jazz. Sorensen starts his comeback which doesn’t last long. Aries takes over again and hits a running dropkick in the corner to put Sorensen down. He loads up the brainbuster but Sorensen grabs a small package for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C+. That dive really was awesome and a lot of this grade is for that. They beat on each other out there and it was a pretty fun match. They kept it short which is the right idea for X-Division matches as it keeps them from getting dull. Fun little match and it gives Aries a new opponent. Keep Kash away from anything that amplifies his voice though.

Post match Kash threatens to cut Sorensen with a knife.

Storm says the title is his and he’s keeping it.

Roode says this is the match they’ve talked about for years.

Here are the Robs for the Jersey Shore segment. Robbie E runs down Ronnie and Young (who are in the ring now) and I guess this is going to be a tag match. Oh joy. Robbie keeps calling people hamsters. A brawl breaks out and it’s Big Rob dominating. Ronnie gets whipped by a belt and the heels leave. Eric gets up and suggests a tag match.

Bully Ray/Jeff Jarrett vs. Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy

Anderson looks like he has darker hair now. No complains about the double feuds in one match. Ray vs. Hardy starts us off and they trade some shots. Off to Jarrett but that goes nowhere either. Ray comes in and hammers away as Hardy does what he does best: sell things like death. Jeff finally gets the tag off to Anderson as Ray comes in as well. Everything breaks down and here’s Scott Steiner to break things up and crotch Anderson for the DQ at 5:38.

Rating: D+. The main event better be good and I think that’s what they’re setting up for here. Everything else has been really short and it looks like they’re setting up for a huge title match to close the show which is fine. This set up both presumable PPV matches (though do we need more Anderson vs. Ray?) which is always a good idea. Boring match though.

Sting comes up to Garrett in the back and says he’s known him since he was 6 years old. That might raise a few questions but I’m not sure if it does or not. Garrett says he’ll take the match with whoever his dad picks.

Here’s Morgan who calls out Crimson. Morgan talks about how he’s always hearing about how he’s always being asked if he can beat Crimson. He talks about how he’s the real giant in pro wrestling and says let’s give the fans what they want. Crimson says he’s been thinking about it too, but let’s raise the stakes. That means…let’s just have a match. Ok then.

Hype video for the title match.

TNA World Title: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Feeling out process to start as they’re playing up the idea that they know each other very well. Off to a test of strength which doesn’t last long. Neither guy has an advantage as we go to a break. Back with Storm ramming shoulders into Roode in the corner. They keep countering each other and Roode can’t get much of an advantage. Storm stays ahead with a superplex but both guys are down.

They slug it out and Storm takes over with some running shots. Blockbuster gets two for Roode. Backstabber gets two for the champ. Eye of the Storm is countered into a spinebuster for two. They head to the floor and both guys barely get back inside in time. Storm tries an Orton DDT but gets countered into a Crossface. Storm makes a rope and Roode is frustrated. Roode tries a superplex but Storm counters into a top rope elbow for two.

This is getting good. Last Call misses as Roode grabs the fisherman’s suplex. Storm counters that and is almost sent into the referee. The referee avoids the contact but twists his knee in the process as Roode is sent to the floor. Roode succumbs to the demons inside and grabs the beer bottle which he breaks over Storm’s head to BIG heat. It gives him the world title at 17:40.

Rating: B. This was a very solid match that could have easily main evented a PPV with about five minutes extra. Still though, good stuff here and that’s what they needed to do. I’m really not sure I like the ending but it’s TNA after all so how good can it get? The heel turn was needed, but Roode is going to have to step up his emotions as a heel to deserve this spot. Good match though.

Overall Rating: C+. The title change alone makes this worth checking out. As is almost always the case with TNA, the end result is fine but the path of getting there is bad. The problem is that this could have been a PPV main event easily but instead it’s thrown together here on a week’s notice. The heel turn is a good thing as there isn’t really a top heel coming into this show so Roode gives you that guy. Decent stuff, but it’s strictly a one match show.

Results
Gail Kim/Madison Rayne b. Brooke Tessmacher/Tara – Eat Defeat to Tara
Jesse Sorensen b. Austin Aries – Small Package
Mr. Anderson/Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray/Jeff Jarrett via DQ when Scott Steiner interfered
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Pin after a beer bottle to the head

 

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I Want To Talk A Little Bit About John Cena

I was listening to ESPN Radio about ten days ago before the World Series began. The analyst said that he hoped we were realizing what we were seeing with Albert Pujols (baseball player for any confused readers). He’s the best player in the game today and is putting up numbers that other players probably dream of. This got me to thinking about wrestling (as almost anything does) and I started thinking about John Cena.

 

I’m pretty much in the minority on John Cena, in that I’m pretty neutral on him. I have never once been what you would call a Cena hater. I’ve never reached the point where I’m sick of him and want him gone. I’ve also never been a huge fan of his. However, and this is partially the whole point of this entire writing: he is without a doubt one of the greatest stars that we’ll ever see and one of the greatest wrestlers ever.

 

Now let’s take a look at this from a few angles. First and foremost, John Cena has more detractors and more supporters than anyone else in wrestling right now. That is indisputable. When you watch a show, be it on PPV, TV, DVD or in the arena, one thing is always certain: people react to John Cena. You often read about the size of the pops that someone gets. When is the last time you remember people being silent for anything related to John Cena? The answer to that would be never.

 

The whole idea of wrestling is to get the fans to care about you. You have to establish a character that people are going to want to watch and when you put that character up against another one and develop a conflict between them, you might be able to get the fans to pay to see the resolution of that conflict, which is the whole point of wrestling. That being said, John Cena is one of the few guys that people are always interested in. Think about this for a second.

 

John Cena is the face of the company. He’s the guy that is put out as a spokesman, he’s the guy you see on the posters, he’s the guy that you see in K-Mart on WWE merchandise, he’s the guy that goes on talk shows, he’s the one (current) wrestler everyone knows and he’s the guy that Wrestlemania is built around every year. That puts him in rare company: Hogan, Austin, HHH, Cena. In WWE history (as in post-Hogan’s first title win), there aren’t any other people that are the undisputed top guy in the company.

 

After that, let’s look at what everyone thinks is the most important thing in wrestling: the matches. Let’s get the biggest piece of evidence out of the way: when was the last time you saw a bad John Cena match? I don’t mean a match you weren’t into. I don’t mean a match that you didn’t care about. I mean a match that was flat out bad. Cena is one of very, very few men that have had a match rated 5 stars by Dave Meltzer. Also on that list: Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Steve Austin, Undertaker, CM Punk. Cena was in the first match to get such a rating in almost 14 years. Think back over 14 years. It’s the first match in that long to get a perfect score in this company (I’ll save a Meltzer rant for later. I’m by no means a follower of his but his opinion is highly valued online).

 

The main argument against Cena matches is that he uses five moves and that’s it. Let’s think for a minute and realize why this is stupid. We’ll start with AA, STF, Shuffle, Top Rope Fameasser, Protobomb, Shoulder Block. There are your six moves right there. That being said, if you believe the amount of moves that someone uses determines whether or not you’re a talented wrestler, you have no idea what you’re talking about. If it was about the amount of moves a wrestler knew, Dean Malenko vs. William Regal would have headlined about 8 Wrestlemanias in a row.

 

Speaking of multiple Wrestlemanias, let’s look at Cena’s career span. Let’s say he became an A-list guy the night he first won the title, which was at Wrestlemania 21. For the sake of math, let’s say we take this up to Wrestlemania 27 where he was in the main event. That’s six years with him on top and he’s going to be there longer than that. By comparison, let’s say Austin was on top from Mania 14 through the day he walked out on the company in 2004. That would be 4 years on top, including his year out for neck surgery. Shawn was on top for about 2 years. Rock got let’s say 4 (99-02, which is being VERY generous). Other than Hogan and Sammartino, a guy being on top for that long simply does not happen.

 

Cena has been in a main event/featured match at 7 Wrestlemanias (not including the upcoming one). By comparison, Mr. Wrestlemania Shawn Michaels was in (arguably) 6 main event/world title matches at Wrestlemania. Austin had 4 or so. Rock had even less than that. The only person in the same league as Cena is Hogan who had 8 (I don’t count WM 9 as one of these as it was a surprise match and lasted all of 40 seconds but again that’s arguable). Even if you count that match, that record will come down in a few years.

 

Getting to records, we reach the world title record that Cena is going to break one day. As everyone knows, the record is currently held by Ric Flair with 16. You have Hogan with 12, Edge with like 13, HHH with about 13 and Angle with ten I think (don’t bother telling me what the actual numbers are as that’s not the point). Yes, having two titles makes this a lot easier to reach. Yes, Flair usually held the title longer (except for the two NWA Title reigns that didn’t last two months, the five WCW Title reigns that didn’t last three months each (with two reigns combining to last 7 days) and the 2 WWF Title reigns that didn’t last three months because we don’t like to talk about those), and yes that means a little something.

 

However, Cena wrestles in an era with potentially 9 hours of programming (Raw, NXT, Superstars, SD and a PPV) a week. This isn’t the days of the NWA where you saw the stars in town once a year at a house show and the title changed hands twice in three years. The amount of title reigns doesn’t mean a thing but people like to complain about Cena and Edge and HHH and the amount of quick title changes they have without thinking about it so who cares about stuff like consistency right?

 

This brings us to the present: John Cena vs. The Rock. It’s no secret that Rock is the biggest mainstream star the business has ever produced. He’s a big time movie star, he’s hosted SNL, he’s been the lead guest on the Tonight Show, he’s going to be in the new GI Joe movie, he’s a legit celebrity. And now he’s coming back to wrestling. Who do they put him with? John Cena. This match is going to be one of the biggest in the history of wrestling and it’s going to be built up for over a year when it finally happens.

 

These are two of the biggest stars of all time and this match is literally going to be over a year in the making. When has there EVER been a match with that kind of build? Off the top of my head, nothing is coming to me. I mean there were matches we knew would be happening at a certain show, but I don’t ever recall being told that a match would be happening a full year in advance with build lasting even longer than that. Cena is the one being trusted with this and that says something to me.

 

Speaking of the build, let’s take a look at Cena’s mic skills real quick. One of these guys is always talking about childish things, making funny faces and cracking jokes while the guy he’s feuding with is being serious. The other is named John Cena. Think back to the night when Rock came back. He cut a promo on Cena and imitated John in a funny voice while talking about Fruity Pebbles. Cena replied in a rap, pointing out that Rock has made some silly movies (true), that he’s never around the People he claims to be champion of (true) and how we’ve barely seen him for seven years (true). Rock’s reply: more funny voices, more cereal jokes, more making fun of Cena’s clothes.

 

Cena has responded to everything Rock has said and has made sense the entire time. Every word he has said about Rock has been true. It’s been Cena here the last seven years. Rock has been out in Hollywood (and please, spare me the nonsense about Rock turning his back on wrestling. You would have done the same thing and it was smart of him to do). In short, Cena has been the mature one here and Rock has talked down to him like a bully the entire time.

 

In summation, John Cena isn’t the devil in a pair of jean shorts. He’s a star the likes of which we haven’t seen in a very long time. Is he Austin or Rock or Hogan? No he isn’t, but to say he’s awful or he has to turn heel to save his career is ridiculous. When the Summer of Punk happened and Cena was having the hottest angle he’s had in years, he was the same John Cena we had seen every time and I didn’t hear anything but rave reviews for him. Whether you think it’s going to be good or not, Rock vs. Cena is going to probably break 1 million buys on PPV and make a fortune for the company and it’s going to be the same John Cena. Like him or not, he’s the best there is and one of the best ever and that’s all there is to it.

 




Upcoming: AE vs. PG – Comparing the Attitude Era to the Modern Era

This is something that I’ll be starting up soon: a series of essays/editorials/those long posts I write about a single topic.  This is going to be a special one that I’ve wanted to write for awhile.  I always hear about how this era sucks and how it’s not as good as the Attitude Era and all that jazz.  However, this era that we’re currently in is in fact good, and in many ways better than the Attitude Era that many of us grew up on.  In (maybe) a series of posts, I’m going to take a look at various aspects of both eras and explain the good and the bad of both.  This is not going to be a totally pro PG argument because it’s far from perfect, but I’m going to explain quite a few things.  Look for that in about a week.

 

KB




Turning Point 2007 – Joe Shoots

Turning Point 2007
Date: December 2, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Back to more TNA tonight and the final show of 2007. This is the show with the pretty well known Joe rant against TNA because Scott Hall no-showed the event. The replacement winds up being Eric Young, back when he was still pretty lame. Other than that, there isn’t anything of note here as the most important stuff is coming up in the next year. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Angle Alliance (Angle, Styles and Tomko) in the back with AJ freaking out. Tonight it’s them against Joe and the Outsiders. AJ wants Christian to join them and Angle says he’ll go and do it himself.

The opening video has a Christmas sound to it and talks about a massacre coming. There’s another Abyss hardcore match tonight. Oh the uniqueness.

Team 3D/Johnny Devine vs. Jay Lethal/Motor City Machine Guns

This is a tables match and only one guy has to go through. This was part of the Dudleys hate small people story. Lethal is X Champion and Macho here, although Devine has stolen the belt itself which would go on for awhile. Ray goes on a pre-match rant against the fans, telling them how they all suck. They have to tag so Shelley vs. Devine gets us going. The Guns take turns beating on Devine and Ray is all ticked off.

Off to D-Von vs. Sabin who looks YOUNG. Lethal comes in and walks into a powerslam to put him back down. Both teams work on the arm to try to get some psychology in there but it’s just filling in time before we get to the wild stuff. Lethal tries to speed things up but walks into a one arm Rock Bottom which plants him. The X guys realize they’re not going to be able to hang in a tag match so they speed things up and take it to the floor with a trio of dives.

The Dudleys grab a table and slide it through the ring so far that it hits Lethal on the other side. The Guns get Devine alone in the ring and it’s time for a beating. You can tell they’re a bit winded (all of them that is) as things slow way down once the Dudleys take over. Lethal avoids a charge from Ray and Ray goes crashing through the table but it wasn’t an offensive move so it doesn’t count.

They exchange spots with the table until Devine tries to dive over the top and go through Shelley but Alex moves and it’s a huge crash which looked awesome. Ray does the move the table instead of breaking up the move so that your partner kind of gets screwed spot. 3D is countered and Lethal accidentally takes down the referee. The Guns bust out a pair of dives which the camera mostly misses. That’s been a big issue so far tonight.

Devine brings in a kendo stick but Lethal takes it and gets in a single shot before putting him on the table. That’s not exactly a big revenge move but whatever. Lethal goes up and drops the elbow through the table but the referee is down. The Dudleys come in and clock everyone with the title belt and put Devine on top to make the now awake referee think that Devine got the win, which he and the Dudleys get now.

Rating: C. Pretty by the book stuff here but the thing holding this back was that it ran fifteen minutes. The problem with that is that these matches are designed to be flashy and fun and running that long made the match go way too long. Cut this down by five minutes and it’s a much better match. Also get a new finish because that one has been done far too many times.

Nash says Hall will be here and that the only reason Nash joined Angle earlier was because Angle had a hot wife. Joe cuts him off and says when his partner gets here, let him know.

Roxxi Leveaux/ODB vs. Velvet-Love Entertainment

Velvet-Love is of course the Beautiful People and this is their debut match as a team. They’re nice here. Well I think they are at least. Velvet looks totally different here and not in a good way. She’s still hot but nothing compared to what she would become. Velvet vs. Roxxi starts us off but Velvet is scared so here’s Angelina instead. ODB comes in and spanks her so Velvet rides her around. We’re in a comedy match as ODB wants the referee to spank her.

Roxxi beats on Velvet for a bit and it’s off to ODB again. She stands on Velvet’s crotch and this match needs to end quickly. Now we get a series of spots based around ODB’s crotch. Sky escapes and it’s the not as hot as my partner tag to Love. Everything breaks down and a combination bicycle kick/Russian legsweep beats Roxxi.

Rating: F. Velvet looks a lot less hot with long hair and with a lack of makeup. On top of that, this was a “comedy” match but it wasn’t funny. Don’t you love it when that’s what winds up happening in these things? I still don’t get the appeal of ODB at all, but she keeps getting signed for some reason along with Jackie.

Jeremy catches up with Angle in the back. Kurt is going to Christian’s dressing room, presumably to try to get him to join up. Jeremy says Kurt needs to calm down a bit and Kurt implies Jeremy is sleeping with Karen and goes in to see Christian anyway. Kurt proposes an alliance and Christian is interested, but he wants to be in charge which Angle isn’t cool with. The offer is declined. Angle leaves and Christian gives his partner, Robert Roode, a mini pep talk before he leaves. Ms. Brooks gets in his face and domestic violence is implied.

We recap Storm vs. Young and the Drinking Championship. Young won it somehow which set up the following match.

Storm is mad because he can’t find beer. Jackie says none until after the match.

James Storm vs. Eric Young

Just a regular match here. Young comes in through the crowd to jump Storm and takes over with right hands. Oh and Storm beat Young up really badly on Impact to set this up. They fight on the floor and Jackie gets knocked out thank goodness. Young hammers away but misses a charge into the post. Storm is messed up because he can’t have any beer. He works on the arm on the floor for a bit and we head back into the ring.

Young is bleeding from the elbow. Storm kicks him in the head and goes up for a cross body, only for Young to roll through it for two. Back to the arm as the obvious conclusion becomes obvious: Eric Young as just Eric Young is really boring. There’s the Eye of the Storm but Storm goes up to the corner to chill for a bit instead of covering. The delayed version gets two.

Off to a pretty weak Fujiwara Armbar which goes on twice, both times for awhile. Young makes his one armed comeback and goes up for a top rope elbow, getting two. Storm tries a reverse tornado DDT but Young escapes into a northern lights suplex for two. Enziguri sets up a Backstabber for two for Storm. Superkick misses and Young grabs a powerslam for two. Jackie tries the beer spit but hits Storm by mistake. After some beer related hijinks, Young gets a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a boring match here which was pretty typical for matches in the midcard for TNA around this point. Nothing to see as Young vs. Storm was based around the beer thing and then in the end that wound up playing a pretty worthless role. Again, this went too long (twelve minutes) and it hurt things a lot.

The announcers talk a bit and Hall still isn’t here. They run down the rest of the card.

LAX says they’ll win Feast or Fired and aren’t worried about consequences about beating up Christy Hemme on Impact recently.

Feast or Fired

This is TNA’s version of Money in the Bank. There are four cases: one has a world title match, one a tag, one an X Title and one is a pink slip. We have Scott Steiner, Senshi, BG James, Petey Williams, Shark Boy, Lance Hoyt, Christopher Daniels, Elix Skipper, LAX, Kip James, Jimmy Rave, Chris Harris and Sonjay Dutt. This is the first match ever in this series for lack of a better term.

You have to have the case in your hands and your feet on the floor to officially win this. It’s a big mess of a match to begin with because you have everyone running around all at once with no real idea of a flow or story whatsoever. The fans like LAX more than anyone else. We’re not going to find out who has what case until Impact. Great. Petey hits a sweet slingshot rana to the floor to take out Daniels.

Petey Williams gets a case. Harris is chilling on the floor because he doesn’t want to get fired. That’s kind of smart actually. BG James has hurt his knee and is being taken out on a stretcher. Kip has a case almost off the hook but can’t get out of the ring. Kip throws it over the top to BG who officially has the case now. Harris keeps going over to the announce table and yells at the announcers.

Hernandez tosses Senshi up to the corner where he’s able to grab on and get the third case in a pretty cool looking moment. LAX goes after Rave but here’s Christy for the save. The LAX chick comes in to take her out. Shark Boy clears out the ring so here’s Harris to beat him down a bit. Sharky, ever the scholar, accepts Harris’ offer of help, only to get caught in an electric chair. Harris has a clear shot but doesn’t want it out of fear.

SuperMex throws Dutt up and over the top by the sides of his head. He really is scary strong. Kip, clad in pink, goes up but gets caught by Scott Steiner again. Daniels comes in for the save but Hernandez stops him from getting a case. Actually Daniels gets one but Hernandez knocks it out of his hands. Steiner comes in again and steals the case to end things.

Rating: C-. Kind of a mess as always but the stealing of the cases was kind of a nice touch. These matches never really worked all that well but they were trying and they did the only things you can really do in them. The Hernandez spots were cool too but it’s not like this is anything we haven’t seen a bunch of times before.

The cases would be revealed as Scott with an X Title shot, Petey with the world title shot, BG with the tag and Senshi had the fired one, but he would lose the case to Daniels who was fired instead.

We recap Gail Kim vs. Kong. The idea is that Kim is the champion who has beaten everyone in her reign but is running into Kong who is unlike anyone she’s ever faced before.

Gail says she’s ready to go through whatever it takes to keep the title.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

This is the only title match tonight. Gail’s looks are hit and miss for me. She looks good in white though. Kong jumps her during the entrance which is smart for a change. When the other chick is posing on the apron why wouldn’t you jump them? They start fighting on the floor and Kim’s strategy seems to be “get beaten up really badly and hold on as long as I can without dying.”

Kong misses a charge and hits the post. Kim goes straight for the arm and Kong can barely fight her off. We get a bell out of nowhere. Oh that was all pre-match. Kong throws on a sleeper and then spins Kim around in it. That can’t feel good. Kong takes over with power and hooks a camel clutch, making Kim’s top come up. No complaints there.

It’s all Kong here with the power game. As Shawn said in the Mania 13 main event, why mess with what brought you to the game? A three point stance into a splash in the corner crushes Kim. A torture rack is broken up and Kim is trying to get some separation. She goes back to the arm and has Kong in some trouble. You can’t work on fat though and that’s what Kong uses to put her down again. Awesome Bomb is countered as is the spinning backfist.

A middle rope dropkick has Kong staggered. A second one puts Gail down and the place ERUPTS. A senton backsplash gets two. Kong gets up and fires off the spinning backfist to put Kim down again. She chokes away in the corner and shoves the referee down for the LAME disqualification to keep the title on Kim.

Rating: B-. DANG that finish sucked the life out of that match. These two have some sweet chemistry together and it was working out there, until they screwed it up with the DQ ending. The crowd was WAY into this though and the idea of David vs. Goliath is always going to work, which it did here. Even I was getting into this one.

Post match Kong beats up everyone in sight. Velvet comes out to try to help but that goes about as well as you would expect. During the whole thing they keep ringing the freaking bell which gets old after about two rings. Angelina comes in with a chair. She’s nice about it though, holding it in front of her face so that Kong can hit it. There’s an Awesome Bomb (mostly) onto the chair on Kim. ENOUGH WITH THE FREAKING BELL!!!

AJ freaks out on Angle for not getting Christian on their side tonight. He threatens to walk out because he can’t function without Christian. Kurt: “What are you, fruity or something?” Karen says shut up and says she can get Joe to turn on the Outsiders. Tomko likes the plan and Kurt says he’ll go do it.

We recap the match of 1000 thumbtacks. Abyss is fighting Rellik and Black Reign (Goldust) in an ultra violent match. Rhyno was supposed to be his partner but he’s hurt so we have a mystery partner.

Black Reign and Rellik are in the basement and Goldust licks his pet rat. He wants Raven to love him. Moving on.

Abyss/??? vs. Black Reign/Rellik

Oh so apparently the partner was known and it’s Raven. This is the Match of Ten Thousand Tacks. There are tacks everywhere and there’s a bag of them above the ring on a pole. Wave to Russo everyone! Tenay continues to treat the fans like idiots by reminding them that Rellik is Killer spelled backwards, thereby taking away the monster aspect and making him sound like a 13 year old trying to be clever on AIM.

Everyone but Raven heads to the floor so Raven jumps over the top to take everyone out at once. Abyss and Reign go up into the crowd as Raven uses his Russian legsweep to send Rellik into the barricade twice. Back at ringside, Abyss sets up a table with tacks on top of it. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to talk about in this match as it’s the same match Abyss did every week in this period.

Abyss gets his hand on whatever weapon Reign usually uses which has a sharp blade on it. That busts Reign open and everyone is back inside now. Abyss is busted via something. It was a chair shot. Good enough. Rellik slides in a bed of tacks and drives a handful of them into Raven’s mouth. Things slow way down as they’re filling in time for the finish now. Rellik goes for the bag of tacks above the ring but gets powerbombed off by Raven.

Raven Effect gets two on Reign. Now Bird Man is bleeding from the mouth. Oh man Abyss is COVERED in blood. We’re just waiting on the big spot to end this. Reign hits everyone with a kendo stick but as he’s choking Raven he gets flipped off the corner and into a table covered in tacks. Raven misses an elbow through a table to Rellik who gets the bag of tacks off the pole. Abyss goes for a chokeslam to Rellik but gets something spit into his eyes. There’s a Black Hole Slam into them instead and we’re done.

Rating: C+. It’s a big brawl with lots of blood which is what most of the rating is for. The problem with Abyss is he always had to top what he did before, which became a problem as he had too much stuff to do. Not a bad hardcore match but the tacks spot had been done so many times before that it’s hard to get fired up for them again.

Angle goes to talk to Joe, saying they’re on the same wavelength. He talks about how Hall and Nash are using Joe. It’s a big snow job here but Kurt leaves so Joe can think about it.

We recap Cage/Roode vs. Kaz/Booker. This is more about Booker vs. Roode which is Booker’s first feud in the company. Kaz beat Christian in a tournament final so there’s the other half of the match.

Booker says he’s here to become world champion but also to face the best in the world.

Christian Cage/Robert Roode vs. Kaz/Booker T

Booker vs. Christian to start us off and it’s off to Kaz very quickly. A jumping back elbow takes Kaz down but the non-Canadian takes over, getting a kick for two. Off to Booker vs. Roode which would be one of the least interesting feuds that I can remember in a long time. Off to an armbar by Booker to Roode. The fans are split here as we look at the yet to be named Peyton Banks (get it?) who was stalking Roode at this time.

Off to Kaz who gets two on Christian. Kaz beats up both heels as Ms. Brooks (Kaz’s real life wife) cheers. A big plancha takes out both heels as this is one sided so far. Booker is pretty useless here as double teaming takes down Kaz. Roode hooks a chinlock to fill in some time. We look at the stalker fan again and make it a third time. Kaz speeds things up and Roode just can’t keep up with him.

He tries a springboard something but jumps into a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Kaz fights out of the corner and Christian’s head goes into Roode’s crotch. Roode recovers from the pain and breaks up a hot tag to Booker, only to walk into a DDT/neckbreaker combo from Kaz which takes out both him and Christian.

Booker comes in off the hot tag and cleans house, getting two on Christian via a spinebuster. Christian loads up a superplex which fails. Booker hits a missile dropkick and gets two off the Jack Brisco sunset flip out of the corner. The side kick misses but here’s Kaz again. Roode launches him to the floor but Booker takes out the Canadians with ease. Spinarooni sets up the Axe Kick but Roode breaks it up. Bobby accidentally clocks Christian with a chair and the Axe Kick finishes this technically clean.

Rating: C. Eh this wasn’t great but it was a way to let Booker get a win on PPV. Yep, this was about pushing Booker because he wasn’t a big enough star on his own yet so we so let’s put him over two midcard heels on PPV. Kaz didn’t do much here and the match wasn’t incredibly interesting either way. Just kind of there.

Christian attacks Roode post match. AJ runs out to break it up for no apparent reason.

In the back, Joe is going off on Nash about Hall not showing up. This was legit and we’re approaching the big moment on this show. Joe says he’ll be out there tonight but not alone.

We recap the main event, which is all about the reuniting of the Outsiders to fight the Angle Alliance. Amazingly enough, the feud is about old vs. new. I’m shocked too.

Angle Alliance vs. Samoa Joe/Kevin Nash/???

The match isn’t going to start for a bit. The Alliance is Tomko/AJ (Tag champions) and of course Angle (world champion). AJ as a heel just isn’t working at all. It never did and it never will. He’s a clueless putz here too so that isn’t helping anything. Karen has some sweet legs. Joe comes out last and grabs the mic for the rant heard around the Impact Zone.

He talks about how he was told to come out here because the fans love him and they’ll listen to him. Scott Hall no showed this event but he’s not going to be here in a surprise or something like that. This got Joe thinking: he could walk out here and have a handicap match, but TNA just gave him a live mic on a PPV. Therefore, he has a few things to say.

There are two types of people in TNA: the diehards who do whatever it takes to entertain the fans every night, and Superstars who come in and do whatever they like. The Superstars screw the wrestlers and the fans who paid to see them, no matter how old they are. TNA is about the Guns, TNA is about Jay Lethal, TNA is about Samoa Joe, TNA is about hard working young guys who want to change wrestling. TNA is about guys doing whatever it takes to entertain the fans while others come in and pad their pensions.

Joe talks to someone in the crowd (presumably Dixie) saying go ahead and fire me. He went to the back and said who wants to be in a fight tonight. The X Division jumped up and said give me the shot. One guy though stood out to him and that is his partner tonight: Eric Young. This was a weird pick and according to some reports I’ve read, Joe’s immediate answer was Homicide, but since LAX were heels at this point that got shot down. At least that’s a valid reason.

Ok so now it’s time for the match. AJ vs. Joe gets us going here. Joe hooks a sunset flip but rolls AJ to the side around the ring (that has a name but I can’t think of it) and chops away. Joe tags in Eric who just doesn’t fit here as he’s a comedy character. This didn’t result in a major push for him either. Young comes in to fight Angle and he’s just Eric Young. That’s the problem here: there’s nothing significant about him but he’s just kind of there.

Off to Nash vs. Tomko and the one with hair takes him down with his usual big strikes. Young gets a Thesz Press on Styles, followed by a wheelbarrow suplex for two. Angle grabs Eric’s arm and pulls it across the ropes to try to give the match a story. AJ tries a superplex but gets caught in a gordbuster off the top. Double tag brings in Nash and Angle but everything breaks down quickly.

Eric’s dive is caught by the tag champs so Joe dives onto all three of them to take them out. Ankle lock to Nash and Joe smiles. He eventually breaks it up with a superkick and tags himself in to beat on Tomko. Powerslam gets two. There’s a Jackknife to Angle as the parade of finishers begins. AJ hits the forearm on Nash and double teaming abounds. The MuscleBuster ends Tomko.

Rating: D. What a mess this was, and somehow having Hall in there would have made it even worse. Young had no point of being in there and it was almost a shoot with everyone being thrown off by Joe’s promo. The match was going to be bad no matter what, but this was really weak and a horrible PPV main event.

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty weak overall with nothing interesting or even that good on the whole card. The Knockouts match was good, but the rest is just so lackluster and boring that it took me about 4 days to get through this show. This was a really weak period for the company and this was a great example of why. The Outsiders thing was horrible and really sums up a lot of the problems with former big names like that. Bad show.

 

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NXT – November 2, 2011 – Walking Around In Circles

NXT
Date: November 2, 2011
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela

We’re approaching a full term pregnancy here as we’re in I think week 35 or so. Darren Young can come back from suspension next week but I don’t think he’ll be returning. The show seems like it’s trying to come back to the way things used to be but it’s really not working. It was a lot better when there were random matches going on instead of ones like there used to be. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the proposal and acceptance from last week with Bateman and Maxine. It’s as stupid as it sounds, complete with a bad love song playing in the background.

Here’s JTG to open the show. He brings out Bateman and Maxine, who wears a lot of REALLY not-PG outfits. Maxine insists the name is BetaMax. I give up. Bateman says he wants to do this right, so he drops to his knee and gives her a ring which is “what 38 weeks of being an NXT Rookie can buy.” He hasn’t been here 38 weeks but whatever.

This brings out Watson, O’Neil and AJ. They really do look good in the suits. Maxine is fishless, whatever that means. Now we’re talking about Fraggle Rock. No one gets the joke, myself included. Bateman sends them away because this is an engagement party and they’re not invited. The girls get into a “you’re uglier than me” contest so O’Neil implies that Maxine’s father is here to make this formal. Titus pulls out a fish. Regal: “He’s doing that just for the halibut.” There are a ton of fish jokes and that’s the best of them all. Titus starts singing Under the Sea when Striker comes out and makes the six man tag main event.

Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Johnny Curtis

Hawkins is suspended so Curtis is back on NXT as the sub. The winners of those shows can’t catch a break. Kidd vs. let’s say Jey starts us off. The twins take over on Kidd and Jimmy gets two off an elbow. Jey gets the same off a chop. No Curtis in yet, meaning the collective snoring hasn’t started. Oh there he is. For the life of me I don’t get what they saw in him. He’s so bland and cookie-cutter looking I don’t know how he could get more uninteresting.

Back to Kidd as apparently Curtis isn’t even going to grace us with his presence. Thank goodness for that. If I sound a bit incoherent here, you can blame the slight cold I have or Curtis’ ability to suck all the charisma out of a match. The Usos go up but heel double teaming takes them right back down. We take a break and come back with Curtis working on Jey’s knee which may have been hurt coming off the top.

Kidd comes in again as I guess even Curtis is bored by his own work. Back to Boring Man who hits a slingshot legdrop to Jey’s knee. Here’s a leg lock as this match has somehow only been going about 7 minutes including the break. Jey finally sends Kidd to the floor as as we talk about Killer Kowalski. There’s the tag and everything breaks down. The Usos head to the floor where they launch Kidd into the barricade in a cool looking move. Back inside a Samoan Drop followed by a Superfly Splash ends Curtis at 8:47.

Rating: C-. The tag matches here used to be good but I guess they’re just getting boring to me now. The Curtis factor didn’t help things out here either. The problem at the end of the day is the that the Usos are flat out better than any other team and we can only see these guys fight for the sake of fighting so many times before it loses all meaning. I think we hit that six weeks ago.

Raw ReBound. The Sheamus/Beaker thing still makes me smile. There are some deleted scenes in this.

Kaitlyn and AJ chat about the wedding. Can we just look at Kaitlyn for 50 minutes instead?

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina

Rematch from last week, which isn’t nearly as competitive was Korpela wants you to think it was. Regal makes jokes about having an affair with a dwarf. I don’t have any idea what it has to do with this match but it’s funny. Kaitlyn gets more offense in the first 30 seconds than she had all last week. Korpela calls Tamina’s dad (Jimmy Snuka) a Hall of Flamer. The crowd is dead for this. Tamina hammers away and it’s off to a chinlock.

At least we can look at Kaitlyn in those shorts of hers. Jack tries to say that the Divas Division is awesome right now and I begin to chuckle at him. Kaitlyn hits that old classic attack known as WHAT A MANEUVER (modified Side Effect) for the pin at 5:10. Again, can we just look at her for the rest of the show?

Rating: D+. These matches suck. That’s really all there is to say about it. I know Kaitlyn looks good, but is there really any need to have her wrestle? That’s one of the things that suck the time out of a Raw or Smackdown: the Divas matches. They’re not entertaining and most of the time they suck, yet they get a few minutes a week.

AJ/Percy Watson/Titus O’Neil vs. Derrick Bateman/JTG/Maxine

The Fascinating Fact this week: the black sheep of Maxine’s family is an unsavory bishop from the island of Butte, who owns a combined toilet factory who in his spare time sends full tapes of Shetland ponies to people. I think that was a play on words joke but I’m not sure. The girls start us off and Maxine is ticked off. AJ hits a jumping armdrag and things speed up. Maxine rolls to the floor after a spinwheel kick.

Off to JTG vs. Watson now and the good guys take over. Titus gets two off a clothesline and it’s back to Watson. Regal asks a good question: why do you need to dance about when you can hit someone in the mouth? Bateman hits a dropkick thanks to a Maxine distraction as we’re running out of time in a hurry. Jimmy the Gimmick hooks on a chinlock and then hooks a Regal Cutter of all things. Even Regal points that one out.

The announcers talk about how long this season has been. Even they don’t know when it’s ending. Somehow Regal turns this into a metaphor involving a hamster on a skateboard. You can’t say he’s typical. Off to O’Neil and everything breaks down. Clash of the Titus ends Bateman at 6:35.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match or anything, but this match sums up the problem with this season of NXT: Titus can beat Bateman. I looked it up and in this season, that is the 6th time O’Neil or O’Neil’s team has beaten Bateman or Bateman’s team. What in the world is there left for these two to prove? Nothing, but they keep the season going anyway.

Overall Rating: D+. I just don’t care anymore. When things were all going insane it was fun, but we’re going in circles on this show. Titus and the Usos dominate whoever they face, Bateman does nothing of interest and AJ still doesn’t like Maxine. That’s all we’ve seen for the last two months, but it never goes anywhere at all. I don’t get it, but I’m not WWE I guess. It’s not horrible, but it’s more boring than bad.

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Monday Night Raw – October 31, 2011 – MUPPETS

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 31, 2011
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Stars; The Muppets

I’m not going to lie: I’m a diehard Muppets fan. I’m going to absolutely lose it when they come out and I don’t care who knows about it. As for the show, I really don’t care as it’s going to pale in comparison to all of the stuff with them. Henry vs. Punk is happening tonight and if Punk wins, he gets the shot at Del Rio in New York. Let’s get to it.

We open with Rock on satellite from earlier today. This is his response to Cena’s request for Rock to be his tag partner. Rock is pretty calm here. He says they both represent a generation and Rock (with some gray in his beard) says no. Why would he join up with the Fruit Loop Troop when Cena has been going after Rock for years?

However, the people started talking about how Rock had to do this. With that, he listened to the people and in that sense, Cena’s wish is coming true and at Survivor Series they’ll be a team for one night only. Also though, Rock is doing this so that Cena can witness what is waiting for him at Wrestlemania. The match is on.

Cena vs. Miz later.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

We get some exclusive footage from Vengeance, which is just the ring collapsing. They showed this on Smackdown ads last week but it’s called “never before seen”. So they don’t even watch Raw anymore? Before the match starts here’s Johnny Ace who says that if Punk can beat Henry he gets the shot at Del Rio. They probably needed to tell the live crowd that.

Punk tries to fight down the monster but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Punk sends him into the corner and hits a slingshot clothesline and the Macho Elbow for two. Alberto and Ricardo come down with Alberto giving Ricardo some specific instructions. Ricardo comes in and attacks Henry who shoves him off. That isn’t a DQ so Ricardo comes in with a shoe and that’s enough for the DQ at 2:35. That fits in the story so I can’t complain here.

Punk beats on Ricardo a bit and throws him in for the Slam.

THE MUPPETS ARE NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In two weeks, it’s the return of Rock to Raw. What is this, his third return special in 9 months?

HERE THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s Kermit and Miss Piggy and I can’t stop smiling. They come up from behind a stage and are kind of cheered. Piggy calls herself the original Diva and that brings out Vickie and Dolph. Swagger says it ain’t easy being a plate of frog legs and a ham sandwich. Kermit tries to play peacemaker and says they don’t want trouble from Swagger and his mother. Piggy and Vickie get into a shoving match and here’s Santino to a pop. He announces himself vs. Swagger later but Swagger closes Kermit’s mouth for him. Kermit faints from a lack of air. Santino says there will be no Dolph in Jack’s corner tonight because he has to face Ryder. Kermit and Piggy say WOO WOO WOO You Know It.

Here’s Kelly for no apparent reason in….some kind of costume. She has a cowboy had and a sword. Kelly kisses Kermit and Piggy is MAD. There’s a Divas costume battle royal next.

Battle Royal

They’re all in costumes and I’m not going to list off what they’re all in. Eve is Robin, the Bellas rule all as Mario and Luigi. AJ is a chick from Mortal Kombat. The match of course is junk as are most battle royals. Natalya is in there as….some kind of queen I guess. Kaitlyn is Dog the Bounty Hunter and is out.

We’re down to Nattie, Kelly, the Bellas and Eve. Eve beats up both Bellas and Alicia is in this still too. There go the twins after a Stinkface from Kelly. Natalya tries a cover out of instinct which Beth got on Eve for earlier. There goes Alicia as well as Kelly, but Eve dumps Nattie for the win at 2:45. She’s #1 contender now.

The good chicks stand down the evil ones and the bad ones leave.

OFF TO MUPPET LABS!!! Bunsen Honeydew has a potion for Santino and sends Beaker after him. Beaky runs into Christian instead and the Canadian steals the potion, pouring it out. Sheamus pops up behind Beaker who now has his head stuck inside his shirt. Christian leaves and Sheamus fixes Beaker. Beaker talks to Sheamus…..who says he can’t make the family reunion, but tell Aunt Teresa he says high. Sheamus fixes Beaker’s hair to look like his.

Air Boom vs. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett

The bell rings after a break. Bourne vs. Rhodes starts us off but it’s off to Kofi about ten seconds in. Kofi hits kind of a spinning pendulum kick in the corner but gets taken down by Rhodes kicking the rope on a springboard. Off to Barrett (in dark gray instead of black) who hits a Bossman Slam and then a chinlock. Barrett actually throws some punches and it’s back to Kofi. Kofi is beaten on for a bit until it’s a hot tag to Bourne. He speeds things way up and counters Wasteland into a DDT for two. Everything breaks down and Kofi is sent to the floor. Bourne gets caught in Wasteland and we’re done at 5:22.

Rating: C-. I don’t get that at all. What is the point in having the champions lose clean again to a thrown together heel combination? The match wasn’t horrible, but why did they need to lose twice like that? I don’t understand at all and it’s book like this that makes the tag division and champions in general look weak.

Post match Christian comes out for some reason to help beat down Kofi but Sheamus makes the save and kicks Cody’s head off.

STATLER AND WALDORF ARE IN THE BALCONY!!!! Statler does the WHAT chant to annoy Waldorf.

Punk comes in to see Ace, who he makes fun of. Ace says Punk can have the title match, if he can convince Alberto to give him one.

Brodus Clay is here next week.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

Show pounds away in the corner and Del Rio is in trouble early on. It’s domination for the first few minutes with Del Rio only managing a few kicks to the legs. Show misses a charge but hits a clothesline to keep his momentum. Alberto grabs a sleeper which shifts into a chinlock. Show breaks it up and we head to the floor where Show pounds away on him. The bald one misses a charge into the barricade and Del Rio misses an enziguri which is sold anyway.

Alberto hooks a front facelock back in the ring but Show throws him off with relative ease. Both guys are down now. For some reason, Del Rio wants to slug it out with Show as they’re on their knees. Somehow Show is knocked down for two but he easily shoves out of it. Shoe sends him to the floor again and we take a break. Back with Del Rio working on the leg as this is needing to end soon. Speaking of that, Del Rio is sent to the floor and when he comes back in, he walks into the punch for the pin clean at 14:00. Another champion loses.

Rating: C-. The psychology was there for the most part but parts of this were way boring. Show is a guy you have to wrestle a certain way which I think Alberto did here for the most part. Not a bad match, but it needed to have about three and a half minutes cut out of it for the match to work.

Post match here’s Punk while Del Rio is still out cold. He pours water on Del Rio to take him up. Punk wants a clean answer and says before he gets that answer, Punk is going to put on the Anaconda Vice. There’s the hold and Del Rio agrees to the match. His mic goes out again but Punk shouts into the other one that HE SAID YES.

FOZZIE AND GONZO ARE IN THE BACK!!! They talk about how big the guys are and Gonzo says he could be a champion if he tried. Team Vickie comes up and pulls Gonzo’s arms through his shirt to tie him up, saying stay out of Ziggler’s match later. Gonzo is cool with it and Fozzie isn’t sure what to say.

Muppet Movie promo. Oh yes.

Animal is the guest time keeper for the next match. He’s as crazy looking as ever.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

Swagger beats him down quickly and does pushups on Santino’s back. The fans want Ryder. Swagger grabs the ankle lock but Santino rolls through it. Here’s Beaker with the energy drink to give to Santino. He winds up spitting it into Swagger’s face for the rollup pin at 2:37. Harmless fun.

Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title. Basic start with a missile dropkick missing and we head to the floor. Dolph is put down and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in control, working on the neck. A neckbreaker puts Ryder down and Dolph nips up. Ryder catches him in a slingshot and they slug it out. A flapjack puts Ziggler down and here’s the Broski Boot for two.

Ryder gets a double knee to Ziggler’s chest in the corner for the pin but Ziggler’s foot was on the rope. The bell rings but it gets waved off due to the feet. Zack chases him around the ring but Vickie interferes. A superkick puts Ryder down but he avoids the Zig Zag. The Rough Ryder pins Ziggler clean at 8:54.

Rating: C. Do they know if they want Ryder or Ryan to take the title off Ziggler yet? It’s really unclear at times but maybe that’s the point. You do have to give them credit for giving Ryder a push due to his crowd reactions lately. Not a horrible match, but they need to either have him win the title or move him on to something else.

We recap HHH/Nash from last week. It’s 10:47 and we have Miz vs. Cena and Cole’s Challenge to go. Doesn’t Nash have a contract already? Why would he need another one? HHH will be out five weeks and Nash has been re-signed.

Cole gets on the announce table and says Ross isn’t here tonight due to something regarding his bowels. Yeah yeah here we go again. Adult diaper jokes are made and the Challenge is moved to next week due to having too much on the show I guess.

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Cole but the laugh isn’t quite right.

Miss Piggy is rubbing Morrison’s abs and Morrison isn’t sure what to make of this. She hits on him but Morrison says he has a friend for her. It’s Horny, who now has a Piggy tattoo on his ankle. He kisses her but gets karate chopped for his efforts. Kermit comes up and Horny is in love. Cody comes in and bags Kermit. SOMEBODY SHOOT THAT MAN!!!

So yeah, no Cole vs. Ross tonight despite it being pushed harder than anything most of the week.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Miz a bit. This has easily been the weakest part of the Muppet part of the show. We go to a break before the bell….at 10:55. The bell rings after 11pm so this is going to be short. Totally basic match so far and we’re over five minutes into it. There’s just nothing to say because they’re flying through it for the sake of time. Miz hits some of his basic stuff until Cena fires back with a big running clothesline which gets two. Cena hits a superplex for two and we head to the floor. A guy in a Scream mask hits Cena and back in the ring….it means nothing as the STF ends this at 9:00.

Rating: C-. Hard to fault them here because they had to rush things and the match didn’t mean much at all. Cena is always good for a quick one though, even though this would have fit better at a house show more than on Raw. For a main event though, especially for a fun show like this, I can’t fault it much.

Post match the Scream guy comes in again and takes an AA. It’s Truth.

Overall Rating: B. Ok now that’s likely high because of the Muppet involvement but they’re my reviews so who cares? The Muppets fall squarely under the category of “if you don’t like this at least a tiny bit, you have no soul.” This was designed to be a fun show and that’s exactly what it was. Rock/Cena was officially set up, the traditional Survivor Series match was planned and that’s all that needed to happen. The Muppets were fun and that’s all there is to this show.

Results
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Eve Torres won a battle royal last eliminating Natalya
Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes b. Air Boom – Wasteland to Bourne
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio – WMD
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Rollup
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder
John Cena b. The Miz – STF

 

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Ring of Honor – October 29, 2011 – Every Bowler’s Favorite Wrestling Show

Ring of Honor
Date: October 29, 2011
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly

After last week we can actually see some angles starting to come together. This is I think the sixth episode for this show and it’s about time that it turned into a regular show. Their pacing is still pretty bad but from what I can find that is going to start changing on this show in that there are actually three matches for this episode. Let’s get to it.

Ok so it’s Saturday afternoon and I turn on Ring of Honor…..and it’s the same episode from last week. I mean Mondo vs. Perkins and the TV Title match tonight. The show re-airs on Sunday night so I’ll see if that’s the new one. Until then I’ll try to find a copy of it.

Ok so now it’s Sunday night and we have the actual show. Good to see.

We open with a recap of last week’s TV Title match which ended in a draw.

Kyle O’Reilly says he’s good. Roderick Strong says he isn’t worried about O’Reilly because he’s a punk kid.

Kyle O’Reilly vs. Roderick Strong

Truth Martini sits in on commentary. They start with technical stuff as Martini talks about Strong’s open challenge for Final Battle. They hit the mat and neither guy can take over that well. Both guys avoid strikes and the fans applaud the stalemate. These guys look a lot alike. Time for strikes because this is a Ring of Honor match. Northern lights suplex gets two for Kyle.

Strong goes to his bread and butter in the form of a backbreaker (half nelson variety here) for two. We take a break and come back with Kyle chopping Roderick but getting caught in a waistlock. Martini is off commentary now. More strikes from O’Reilly including a missile dropkick for two. Butterfly suplex is countered as is a backbreaker. O’Reilly hits rolling butterfly suplexes for two.

Roderick takes him off the top and pounds him down with ease. A modified sitout powerbomb gets two. Strong tries a few moves but Kyle counters off of there. Here are some more strikes for his troubles and a fireman’s carry into a spinebuster gets two. Strong Hold (Boston Crab) doesn’t work because Strong is a heel. A half nelson is countered into a crucifix for two. O’Reilly hooks on a guillotine choke but Rodderick rolls forward for two. A running kick (gee, another strike!) ends this for Strong at 12:28.

Rating: C. I get the appeal of it, but man those strikes get annoying fast. I mean, DO SOMETHING ELSE!!! Why is that such a difficult request to fulfill? I don’t like Richards’ style at all and Kyle is part of Team Richards or whatever it is. They try to do almost MMA matches out there and it doesn’t make for entertaining wrestling other than in the eyes of people that think doing a lot of strikes and such make for good matches.

Post match more House of Truth people and Richards come out with Richards being beaten down. Eddie Edwards comes out for the final save. I think I smell a tag match.

After the break, Cornette says that every member of the House of Truth is being fined $2500. Some fans want Kevin Steen back and let’s put the cameras on them. Cornette says Steen has too many mental problems so there won’t be any Steen back. If Steen doesn’t like that, sue him.

Either Lethal or Edwards will get the world title match at Final Battle. Gee, I wonder if it’ll be a guy that has nothing to do with Richards or his former partner that he beat for the belt in the first place. Both guys say they should get the shot.

We also hear about Proving Ground matches. The idea is that they’re non-title, but if you can beat them or get to a time limit draw, you get a title match within 90 days. Logical. A new tag team has such a match next week and they say nothing of note.

Alex Silva vs. Tomasso Ciampa

Steve Corino sits in on commentary. His first line: “My name is Steve Corino and I’m an evil http://onhealthy.net/product-category/cholesterol/ person.” He’s trying to reform his evil ways which could set up a sweet heel turn later on if need be. Silva is an OVW guy who likes to kick a lot. Oh ok so that makes sense now. Ciampa spits at a handshake attempt and hits a jumping kick to take over early on. They go to the floor and let the pain begin.

Silva takes a suplex on the floor and it’s off to a chinlock in the ring. They kick it out a bit as Corino offers to be a mentor to Ciampa. A neckbreaker puts Silva down and there’s a running knee to the face. Make that two knees. Ok three. I think you get the idea here. Silva’s face would seem to say…”THAT REALLY FREAKING HURT!” A powerbomb onto double knees (Project Ciampa) ends this at 4:00.

Rating: C. Total squash here but Ciampa is a pretty decent power guy. He needs to have an actual feud though which is one of the problems with the way they air ROH. With only an hour a week, having the multiple ten minute matches is becoming a big problem. I do however really like them fitting in a quick match like this to showcase someone else other than just two teams/acts a show.

All Night Express vs. Briscoe Brothers

Main event here and the winners get Haas/Benjamin at Final Battle. It’s a brawl on the floor to start as they don’t wait for the intros. I think that’s Jay vs. Kenny to start but it’s off to Titus quickly. The Express takes over to start with the quick tags. A big clothesline gets two for King. The Briscoes take over and pound away as we go to a break. Back with King in trouble but hitting an enziguri to put Mark down.

The fans are totally behind the Briscoes here which isn’t the idea but who cares about that? They know what wrestling is right? Anyway Jay runs in as we hear about how good Titus is in bed. Why does McGuinness know that? Next week we find out who gets the shot at Richards. Backslide gets two for King. There’s the hot tag to Titus and they beat on Jay for a bit, including a dropkick for two.

The fans still chant for the Briscoes as we’re really running out of time here. Jay counters King but can’t hit his finisher (Jay Driller). Mark takes out Rhett and a spinebuster puts down King with a spinebuster. Rhett and Jay go up but Jay is dropped into a snake eyes. Mark goes off on Titus and botches a springboard cutter to put Titus down.

King hits a springboard Blockbuster but walks into a DDT from Jay as all four are down. In a pretty innovative ending, the Express sets for their finisher (Blockbuster/powerbomb combo) but Jay knocks King down and clotheslines his own brother into a rana on Titus for the pin at 12:42. Think about that and it’ll make sense.

Rating: C+. The opening stuff of this (as in before the commercial) was really pedestrian but after that the match got a lot better. They threw out the tagging aspect and the hot tag didn’t have a lot of heat on it, mainly due to the Briscoes being one of those teams that is so over they can’t really be turned heel. Also the fact that they’re athletic and do impressive looking stuff makes it hard to boo them.

Overall Rating: C. Well, they’re getting there. I guess that’s the best way to put it. The show having a third match is a huge step in the right direction and they cut down the lengths of the two featured matches to make them fit into the time frame much better this week. Not a bad show but it’s nothing good either. At least we’re building to something for a change, which is a nice thing to see.

Results
Roderick Strong b. Kyle O’Reilly – Sick Kick
Tomasso Ciampa b. Alex Silva – Project Ciampa
Briscoe Brothers b. All Night Express – Hurricanrana to Titus

 

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