Ring of Honor
Date: October 15, 2011
Location: Frontier Fieldhouse, Chicago Ridge, Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness

It’s week four of this show and I believe the final episode in this batch of TV tapings. After this the show will be out of the Davis Arena in Louisville for a few weeks which is the home arena of OVW. I’m curious to see how they change things at the next batch of tapings but we have to go through with the original here still. Let’s get to it.

We open with a highlight package of last week’s world title match.

Here’s another video because this is a highlight show right? It’s about the Briscoes and how awesome they are and how much better they are than the All Night Express.

The All Night Express talk about how they’ve fought the Briscoes time after time and get closer to beating them every time.

Briscoe Brothers vs. All Night Express

This is for the #1 contendership. I have no idea which Briscoe is which but it’s Jay according to the announcers. Kenny King and Rhett Titus are the Express. King is the guy from Tough Enough 2. Kenny is sent to the floor quickly and it’s double beatdown time until Titus runs over for the save. This is a big feud with a bunch of hard hitting matches in it. Off to Titus who is getting double teamed now.

We’re into the heat segment here I guess as Titus gets beaten down for awhile. The Tweet of the Week talks about how this is wrestling, not sports entertainment. They head up to the corner where Titus is set for a superplex. He manages to counter into a Snake Eyes onto the buckle and it’s double hot tag. King cleans house with some decent flipping style moves. The Express hits a double team plancha, sending Titus over the top to take out the Briscoes.

A spinebuster by King sets up a double kneedrop off the top for two. A Briscoe hits a falcon arrow on King and the other hits a frog elbow for two. Titus and Mark fight over the announce table as Kenny gets kicked low and a small package by Jay is enough for the pin at 8:07.

Rating: C+. Decent match here but with the weeks of buildup I was expecting a little more than an eight minute match. The match was decent and the Briscoes are flashy enough to have something good going on, but their promos and gimmick gets annoying fast. Not bad here and a pretty entertaining match, but it needed more drama.

Post match the referee asks if Jay kicked him low and he says no. Titus gets up and is beaten down again as we go to a break.

After a break we establish that yes indeed, the clear low blow earlier was in fact a low blow.

Here’s a package on Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team because why have them wrestle a match when you can talk about how great they are? Both of them list off their amateur accomplishments and it takes up WAY too much time.

After a break, Jim Cornette says neither team is the #1 contenders, making that match totally pointless.

Time for Inside ROH which is about the House of Truth and the possibility of Edwards vs. Richards II. The idea here is that Martini is a manipulator and everyone other than his boys think that. Michael Elgin, the power guy of Martini’s House of Truth Martini says Martini is awesome.

Richards and Edwards say they’re hunters and beating the other will be that next achievement.

Michael Elgin vs. Eddie Edwards

They grapple for a bit and then it’s time to strike each other a lot and no sell all of it! Elgin gets knocked down and then gets a delayed vertical suplex for two. Kelly said it felt like an eternity. It was really more like about 9 seconds but that’s an eternity of selling in this company so I guess that’s acceptable. Edwards snaps off a rana and goes to a half crab which is an Achilles hold according to him.

Lionsault gets two. And there goes the selling as Elgin grabs a spinebuster out of the corner for two as we take a break. Back with, and brace yourself for this, Edwards hammering away with forearms which don’t work as Elgin gets a side slam for two. Edwards fires off two superkicks and a suplex kind of move to put both guys down. Missile dropkick gets two.

Edwards hits a dive on the floor into the barricade and Kelly is overselling this way too strong. They start slugging it out and Kelly starts talking about the website. They actually CUT AWAY TO A GRAPHIC OF A WEB BROWSER TYPING THE WEBSITE’S NAME. I mean, we missed part of the match so we could see how to spell ROHwrestling. WOW. Elgin takes over and they go to the apron. Edwards hits his fourth superkick out there and a double stomp to take over.

Edwards tries his leg trap suplex but gets caught in a buckle bomb. That doesn’t work so well though. Not because it’s not a devastating move, which it was. However, Edwards was up and fine a few seconds later and hitting superkick #5. That lets him hit the Diehard (leg trap suplex which would be a lot more effective if it made sense as Elgin had to work with him to make it work) for the pin at 14:04.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match they’ve ever had but Edwards is more or less a Davey Richards clone with all of the strikes and the no selling and stuff like that. I don’t want to imagine a match betwee them but I think it’s been booked for the main event of the Final Battle show. Not much to see here.

Post match Roderick Strong comes out and gets in Edwards’ face. McGuinness gets in to make the save from the non-attack.

Overall Rating: C. Well it was a little better but at the same time there was nothing interesting here for the most part. It’s nice to see them actually having some stories, but we don’t need to have the 15 minutes of videos to establish these feuds through talking. A third match per show would do wonders for these guys to put it mildly. Not a horrible show but it’s the same uninspired stuff they’ve done for a month now.

Results
Briscoe Brothers b. All Night Express – Small Package
Eddie Edwards b. Michael Elgin – Diehard

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Smackdown
Date: October 14, 2011
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We have our main event set for the PPV and in short, this has to be better than Raw. I mean, I don’t think it’s possible for it to actually be worse. Expect one of the final two remaining pushes to go to the PPV and probably more of Cody vs. Orton. Also with this show, allegedly this is the second longest running episodic television show in history or something, so I’ll set the over/under on mentions of that at 7,000. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the events with Show and Henry last week and Show beating up the champ. He has his title shot at Vengeance.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is being told I have to be somewhere at the very last second. Very annoying.

Here’s Teddy to open the show. Johnny Ace comes out too despite having no power on this show. Teddy says that to celebrate tonight, we’re having the largest battle royal in WWE history. The winner will get a title shot at any champion of his choosing tonight on Smackdown.

Battle Royal

There are 41 people in this and I’m not going to bother listing everyone off. Basically if they’re on the active roster, they’re in this. Cody Rhodes is the first person out. I’m really only going to list off people’s names as they’re out and I’ll only list big names. There’s almost no room to move in the ring so it’s almost impossible to see anything or call it. Striker is in there. We’re about two minutes in and only a handful of people are out.

O’Neil and Bateman are gone as is Striker. Booker: “I really thought Striker could do something special in this.” Cole: “Booker you’re an idiot.” Josh: “Everybody in the ring is in Booker’s Fave Five.” We take a break and the ring has cleared out a little bit. Josh says there are 32 people left in this so it’s still bigger than most Rumbles. Regal is gone. I don’t see Big Show out there but I don’t think he was there in the first place.

Morrison goes out with no theatrics and Ziggler is out immediately thereafter. The title match has to be against Henry or Del Rio. Some of the ring has cleared out a bit now and you can see some of the mat. Blue Cara wasn’t in this either for some reason. An Uso is out and we have 27 left. Orton and Punk fight which sounds like a very boring feud at this point. DiBiase and Kidd are out.

After a break we see Bryan tossed. You can see most of the people still in the match at this poitn. Mason Ryan puts out Hawkins and Reks at almost the same time. Miz and Truth have worked together almost the whole time. There go Drew and Gabriel as well as Ryan to get us down to 19. Of all people, Primo is still in there until Punk kicks his head off. We get some minor eliminations (Santino and Riley) before Swagger manages to dump Kofi. Rider is out too and we have about 13 or so.

Otunga is done and so is the other Uso. Sheamus puts out Jackson and is the only one standing. A big old Brogue Kick eliminates Slater to get us down to ten. Black Cara is powerbombed out as Sheamus has put out like 5 in a row. Christian tries a spear but gets caught in a high cross. That doesn’t work and there goes Captain Charisma. Punk puts out Truth but Miz puts out Punk but Sheamus Brogue Kicks Miz to the apron.

Ok so we’re down to Miz, Barrett, Orton, Christian, Swagger and Mahal. As I typed that Christian put Sheamus out. Punk and Truth are brawling on the floor and Orton puts out Barrett and Swagger. Mahal takes and RKO and is gone but Miz sneaks in and almost puts Orton out. They’re the final two. Orton starts up his finishing sequence but both finishers are countered. They go to the apron and slug it out and Orton is sent into the post. He manages to grab an RKO on the apron and wins at 15:50 shown of 19:20. Orton hit also but Miz clearly hit first.

Rating: C. This was a battle royal with a lot of people in it. I know a a lot of people don’t rate them and I find it very hard to do as well. There wasn’t really anything bad here and nothing was all that great either if that makes sense. It’s just a battle royal for the most part and there isn’t anything else to say.

Orton of course picks Henry.

Del Rio and Rodriguez are leaving but Teddy pops up. They say they’re leaving because Henry is defending tonight. Teddy says not so fast because he has to face Sheamus. Non-title I’d assume.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Kelly goes nuts to start but gets caught in a backbreaker out of the screaming headscissors. They’re the Sisters of Salvation now. Tornado DDT gets two as Booker says Kelly makes few mistakes in the ring. No wonder Andy hasn’t done anything yet in WWE. Kelly misses a charge and the Glam Slam ends this clean at 1:51. Remember when no one could beat Kelly? I don’t either.

Sin Cara vs. Justin Gabriel

It’s the blue one but in the back the black one jumps him and takes the mask. The black one takes his mask off and puts the blue one on after saying it’s his. Cole explains the backstory of Cara vs. Cara and while it makes sense, I’m not sure how great of a storyline it’s going to be with blue not being able to speak English. Cara (black in blue’s mask) takes over and dropkicks a jumping Gabriel down for two. Justin goes up again but gets dropped one more time and the Swanton ends this at 1:34.

Air Boom is with Teddy and Evan can’t wrestle due to the powerbomb from Swagger. Vickie comes in and demands a tag title match tonight. Teddy says no and here’s Rider to a big pop. He volunteers to replace Bourne and Vickie calls him the Little Woo Woo Woo Boy. The match is made.

Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Sheamus takes over early and hits the ten forearms to the chest. The fans are counting along with him now too. Alberto gets a shot in to the arm and let the psychology begin. The Codebreaker on the arm gets one. Sheamus fires back and I don’t think this is going to be very long. They’re moving way too fast for it to be a short one. There’s the Irish Curse backbreaker and that name is back on now. Sheamus goes up but Ricardo distracts the referee. Here’s Christian to shove Sheamus off the top and a kick to the head ends Sheamus at 3:55.

Rating: C. Not much here but while it lasted it was pretty good. They were in a rush and it hurt things but they were having a coherent match so it balances out pretty well. I think it’s better that they kept this short as these guys don’t seem like they would have had the best match in the world. This wasn’t bad but it was just kind of ok, which is primarily due to how fast they had to work.

Christian spears Sheamus post match. He gets up so Christian spears him again.

Vickie introduces her guys for the next match.

Kofi Kingston/Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Ryder’s music now starts with Woo Woo Woo You Know It. Ryder vs. Swagger to start us off. Off to Ziggler who has a bit more luck. So is it Ryan or Rider that is going to be the #1 contender for Ziggy? Kofi gets the hot tag very quickly and he hits a bunch of dropkicks to take over. He loads up Trouble in Paradise but Ziggler rolls to the floor. Why would you roll to the floor with a member of a team called Air Boom in the ring? Kofi hits a dive to both heels as we take a break.

Back with Kofi in trouble thanks to some commercial interference by Vickie. Kofi takes him down eventually and there’s the hot tag to Rider. They’re flying through this match. The Broski Boot gets two on Ziggler. Rider gets a knee to the face but can’t hit the Rough Rider. Off to the sleeper but Rider sends him into the post shoulder first. Swagger breaks up the tag but when the referee is getting him out, Kofi kicks Dolph’s head off and Rider gets another pin at 7:07 shown of 10:37.

Rating: C-. Where is this going? I mean, they’ve been going on with this thing for weeks now and we’re at the same place: the champs or some variation of them never lose to Swagger and Ziggler (fairly that is) and Rider keeps pinning Ziggler. When are we getting somewhere with this? The match wasn’t that great either.

Sheamus tells another Irish story about Christian and it’s something about a bull being bitten by a troll.

Video on Show vs. Henry.

Smackdown World title: Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton

Henry is in trouble early but just shoves Randy away. Orton gets sent into the railing and his shoulder goes into the post. Henry works on the neck and kind of the shoulder so I can’t complain about that. Orton fights back and Henry just runs him over. An elbow gets two and we take a break. Powerslam gets two when we’re back. A splash gets two. This is really boring so far. A Vader Bomb misses and Orton starts his comeback….and here’s Cody for the DQ at 7:05 shown of 10:35.

Rating: D. This felt like the main event of a weak house show. It just wasn’t interesting and it didn’t do anything at all. I really was bored by this and I didn’t see anything at all in it. Orton gets beaten up and then we have the required run in because that’s how house show matches end right? Bad main event.

Show comes out for the save and chokeslams Henry again to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is by far the weakest Smackdown I’ve seen in months. I mean NOTHING interesting went down here. There’s a big battle royal and the top face wins it. Then the top face has a house show-style main event against a guy he was feuding with a few weeks ago. I have no idea what we gained on this show so just like with any other big milestone show, this was a disappointment.

Results
Randy Orton won a battle royal last eliminating The Miz
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly – Glam Slam
Sin Cara b. Justin Gabriel – Swanton Bomb
Alberto Del Rip b. Sheamus – Kick to the head
Kofi Kingston/Zack Rider b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise to Ziggler
Randy Orton b. Mark Henry via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 13, 2011
Location: Knoxville Civic Auditorium, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Bound For Glory and the card is mostly set I believe. The two big matches have been well built but I can’t say they have the same kind of pop as last year’s show did, at least not for me. I’d expect a final push to the show and a lot of work being done for the importance of how big this show is for TNA. Hogan vs. Sting should get roughly 7 segments. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the two main events as you would expect.

Hogan is here.

Angle opens the show and wants to talk to Roode one more time. He talks about how he had Roode fight Fourtune and Roode passed the test. Angle says he’s better than all of Fourtune and he’s the best ever, which he’s going to prove again at BFG. He offers a handshake but Roode grabs the mic again. Roode talks about having heart and says he wants a clean match. They shake hands and say no interference. The lack of hatred and everything being based on respect is really hurting this build for me.

Angle goes to leave but says that tonight it’s Roode vs. Gunner/Jarrett.

RVD, AJ, Daniels and Lynn are all brawling in the back.

The brawl is still going after a break and they’re out on the ramp now. There’s a bell. Ok so it’s a match.

AJ Styles/Rob Van Dam vs. Christopher Daniels/Jerry Lynn

It’s a big brawl to start as Rob is missing. Oh there he is. Things finally get down to Daniels vs. AJ but it’s off to Rob quickly. Rob gets beaten down by some double teaming. Daniels and Lynn have some decent chemistry for a random pairing. Hot tag brings in AJ and he cleans house. We go to the floor and it’s time to dive! AJ hits the springboard forearm back in and loads up the Clash but Daniels escapes. Lynn is back in and takes the Clash for the pin at 5:50.

Rating: C+. This was kind of a crazy match but I think that was the point with the way the match started. It’s a decent match and the dives were pretty good. I’m always a fan of combining two feuds like this as you can build them both fairly well at once and it saves some time for other stuff later. It’s an old booking idea but it works very well and it did so here.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan is all fired up to start and hits a running knee to set up the corner elbows. Joe hammers away with his usual strikes but when he puts Morgan up top, Morgan jumps over him and rolls Joe up for the pin at 2:09. That came out of nowhere.

Post match Joe goes after Morgan’s leg and gets a hold on it until Crimson comes out with a chair to clear the ring. Joe yells about the two of them always ganging up on him. He suggests a three way at the PPV and the non Samoans say ok.

There’s a new Jeff Hardy DVD. I’ll keep quiet on that.

Here’s Mexican America who wants to have Ink Inc out here. The fans chant USA and the tattoo guys talk about the tattoo they gave Anarquia recently. Ink Inc tells them to get out and a brawl breaks out. Mexican America takes over so the tattoo chick from the tattoo parlor comes in for the save. The tag match is made post brawl.

Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick vs. Austin Aries/Kid Kash

The good guys dive out onto the floor to get us going. Kash vs. Sorensen gets us going and Sorensen uses his speed stuff to get going. A McGillicutter gets two. The heels take over quickly and we’re waiting on the hot tag to Kendrick. Kash tries a springboard moonsault and is supposed to hit the knees but hits most of the move instead. There’s the hot tag to Kendrick who cleans a few rooms. He tries Sliced Bread on both heels at once which makes them fight. Sorensen goes into Kash and Aries gets the belt but Kendrick hits a superkick and Sliced Bread for the pin at 4:34.

Rating: C. Not a bad match but the opener did it better. The idea here was to set up the title match and give us a reason to think Kendrick can win. I don’t get the point in having Kash and Aries fight out there but they were trying something I guess. Not a horrible match but it was pretty generic.

Here are the four Knockouts in the title match on Sunday plus Angelina. Madison is brought out with Karen and Traci has to trail behind. Karen talks about how she got them the PPV match because no one else wanted them. She talks about how she’s better than they are and singles out Velvet. They yell a lot and then Traci helps shove Karen down. It’s brawl time and security pulls them apart.

Ray is the enforcer for Anderson vs. Steiner later and says don’t tick him off.

AJ rants about Daniels, saying he ruined the relationship their families have. AJ gets in his truck and says he’s ready for an I Quit match. He shuts the door to his truck and Daniels decks him, tying a cord around Styles’ throat. Daniels lets go saying he wants everyone to hear AJ quit on Sunday.

Scott Steiner vs. Mr. Anderson

Ray is the guest referee. Steiner goes straight at Anderson with the power and a belly to belly gets two. There are the elbows and it’s still all Steiner. Ray is talking trash since he’s very good at it. Anderson grabs a neckbreaker for two. Mic Check hits but he’s in the rope before the referee can raise his hand for one. Anderson takes out Ray but comes back in for a low blow with the referee looking at Steiner as if to say “oh come on” but it’s not a DQ. Here’s Abyss for no apparent reason with Ray’s chain. Steiner holds Anderson up and it hits Steiner but that’s not a DQ. It is however enough for a pin at 4:03.

Rating: D. Am I watching ECW or something? The referee wasn’t bumped or anything. He watched all that happen and was totally cool with all of it. I get that it’s to build to the Abyss face turn eventually but it still was pretty stupid overall. Was there any reason to not have this be a DQ win for Anderson? I mean it’s not like it changes the ending or anything.

Post match Ray yells at Abyss as Immortal runs out. Abyss gets tired of being yelled at so he grabs Ray by the throat. It’s time for the Immortal beatdown and Ray brings in a table. Anderson finally runs out for the save but Ray runs over him and the Bubba Bomb puts Anderson through the table.

Angle comes up to Storm and tries to bring him to the dark side. Storm says he’s talking to Bobby and that’s about it.

Jarrett and Gunner say nothing of note about Bobby.

We run down the BFG card, which looks pretty stacked.

Video on Bobby Roode who is on a roll. Angle talks about how he has the experience and no pressure on him.

Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Jarrett/Gunner

Roode grabs a chair but it gets taken away from him. He fights them off for a bit but the numbers catch up with him pretty quickly. Roode sets for the Blockbuster on Gunner but Jarrett makes the save and the beating continues. After a double suplex Jarrett and Gunner do the Beer Money taunt which ticks Roode off. There’s the Blockbuster to Jeff and Gunner is sent to the floor. Stroke is countered into the spinebuster and the crossface goes on both guys but gets the tap from Gunner at 3:58.

Rating: C. It’s juts a handicap match here and a way for Roode to look good. That’s fine but the whole respect thing isn’t doing much for me as far as the build for the match goes. Not a bad match but it doesn’t really tell us anything that we don’t already know. Not bad but it wasn’t too bad overally.

Immortal comes out for the beatdown and Storm’s save attempt fails. Angle comes out to beat on Roode too but before he can get a hand on him Jeff Hardy runs out for the save. Storm doesn’t like it and Roode isn’t sure if he should shake Jeff’s hand. Eventually he shakes it. Hardy goes to leave but Storm stops him. Storm raises Hardy’s arm and shakes his hand.

Jeff says he’s back. That’s Hardy by the way. Jarrett comes up and yells at Hardy over a lot of things. He says they’ve been friends for a long time and that Jeff is out of chances. Hardy says he’ll be at BFG.

With about 5 minutes left in the show, it’s time for the Hogan/Sting contract signing. Both are in Hogan shirts and Hulk doesn’t want to sign. Sting signs but Hogan isn’t on yet. Ok so he signs it. Hogan stands up and turns over the table. Sting’s yellow shoes are great. Hogan says he’s been watching Sting avoid Hogan for over thirty years. He talks about how Sting could have fought Hogan any time ever and finally gets him here. This is Hogan’s last match but it’s going to be a fight. You need a contract for a fight? Hogan swears no interference and keeps saying gut instead of got.

And here’s Bischoff with a rebuttal. He’s mad about Sting hurting him a few weeks ago and threatens Sting. Sting turns his back and Hogan pops him with a chair and hammers away in the corner. Sting is being choked out as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: B. This was an excellent go home show. Yeah I said it. I’ve made no secret about the fact that I’m less than thrilled with the choices for the double main event and think that Hogan and Sting need to go away instead of taking the main event picture up, but this show built up that and Kurt vs. Roode very well. The whole card got something and having the segments for the main events not really take up all of the show was a hue plus. The pacing was good here too and it made for a great build for BFG, which should be a good show. I’m stunned but this was the best TNA show I’ve seen in longer than I can remember.

Results
AJ Styles/Rob Van Dam b. Christopher Daniels/Jerry Lynn
Matt Morgan b. Samoa Joe – Rollup
Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick b. Austin Aries/Kid Kash – Sliced Bread to Kendrick
Mr. Anderson b. Scott Steiner – Pin after Abyss hit Anderson with a chain
Bobby Roode b. Gunner/Jeff Jarrett – Crossface

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NXT
Date: October 12, 2011
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jack Korpela, William Regal

It’s the second week of NXT on Wednesdays and I’m not exactly thrilled after last week’s boring show. It should be interesting to see how things go with no Darren Young for the next month or so due to him being wellnessed. Hopefully with the departure of all of the Pros that could mean we’re actually getting closer to the end of this show. Let’s get to it.

So if one of the rookies is Young, which one is wild?

Here are Bateman and Maxine to open the show. He sucks up to Vince and Johnny Ace for clearing up the catastrophe that was coming down to NXT. Bateman says that the opinions of himself and Maxine are the only ones that matter and makes fun of the hometown Cowboys. As a Cowboys fan……I don’t really care enough about Bateman to be upset about it.

Maxine talks a bit but is cut off by Titus and Percy. Percy talks about there being two rookies left so I guess Young is just being dropped? Bateman and Maxine run their mouths and kiss a bit which makes Percy freak out. O’Neil actually mentions the competition and says he should be on Raw or Smackdown. He’s right you know. Maxine implies she wants a match but here’s Striker who says he has match making abilities. It’s Watson vs. Bateman later and right now it’s AJ vs. Maxine.

AJ vs. Maxine

I think these are the only two girls on this show. This is joined in progress after a commercial with Maxine taking over with a choke for two. The fact of the week about Maxine: her cousin is a champion hula hooper from Bangkok and also grows prize turnips and also is an amateur credit mangler (not sure if that last part is right or not).

Maxine is totally dominant and goes from a dragon sleeper to a freaky looking chinlock. Literally all Maxine so far as the fans are into this. Either that or they’ve gotten really good at piping in noise on NXT. AJ finally gets in a shot and goes up for a cross body for one. After a bit more scrapping, a Shining Wizard beats Maxine at 5:00.

Rating: D. How could a match with women as attractive as AJ and Maxine that involves bending and twisting be so boring? There was nothing to see here which is at least partially because we’ve seen it so many times now. The girls are trying but there’s nothing to see here, especially with all of the stories they had going being forgotten now and things boiling down to they don’t like each other.

We talk about the tag match last week with Hawkins/Reks vs. the Usos.

Hawkins and Reks talk about how great they are and how they don’t need a family to get them here like the Usos do.

Long recap of Raw and all the stuff that went down on the night of a thousand stories.

Usos vs. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks

Hawkins starts with let’s call him Jey. The crowd is a lot quieter for this than for the girls. The twins control early and drop double headbutts on Hawkins for no cover as it’s off to Reks. Remember when Reks actually was on a Survivor Series team and a Bragging Rights team? That feels like it was so long ago. Back to Hawkins who gets beaten on even more, this time taking a two count off a Demolition Decapitator move. Hawkins is sent to the floor and Jey dives over the top to crush him. Jimmy does the same as we take a break.

Back with heel double teaming taking Jimmy down and it’s off to Reks. We hear about the tag division coming back up and that’s true for once. Know how they did it? They made teams. Why is that such a hard concept? You have a huge roster so why not throw some teams together? The double teaming goes on for a very long time as the match has totally changed after the break.

Regal goes on a small rant about Hawkins and Reks not being underutilized because it’s their job to get noticed, not someone else to give it to them. I like that idea that you have to have your own initiative to get into the thick of things like that. Reks puts on something like a Tazmission as Regal talks about how the mice are all throwing themselves onto mousetraps because his mother in law is coming.

Jimmy manages to send both of them to the floor and the fans wake up to an extent. There’s your hot tag to Jey and we get a Rikishi reference which might be the making a difference line. Jey hits the running hip strike to the head of Hawkins which is an Umaga move but they keep calling it a Rikishi one. Jey comes off the top rope but is caught in a powerslam for two. I thought that was it. Reks and Jey exchange missed finishers and a double superkick sets up a double Superfly splash for the pin on Reks at 12:20.

Rating: C. This had its moments but the heel beatdown segment was pretty long and dull. I wasn’t totally bored and the ending was a much better segment than the rest of it. I like that double splash and it’s cool to see the faces get some redemption (Oh I get it now) here. Good little match but if they cut out about two minutes it would have been much better.

Percy Watson vs. Derrick Bateman

Regal thinks Maxine is looking at him. Watson is so much better as a serious guy than the goofy one he was in Season 2. He takes over with his speed and power stuff but goes up to the middle rope and gets dropkicked in the back for two. Regal isn’t happy with the weak cover by Bateman. Now why can’t more commentators channel their inner Monsoon like that?

A whip into the corner gets two and it’s off to a body vice. We get the dreaded Jacob Novak reference and this show automatically drops a few notches. Watson fights back and a cross body gets two. Bateman takes over again and Regal is going into his third sage advice talk of the night. Abdominal stretch goes on by Bateman and we hear about Bateman getting his hands on a copy of John Cena’s workout strategy. Ok then.

Watson escapes and Regal praises Cena for a bit. Elbow misses for Derrick and we’re running very low on time so this is going to have to end soon. Watson hammers away and hits one of those dropkicks that is just a bit off for some reason. It always is. The spinning splash gets two. Bateman grabs a release gordbuster for two (with Regal talking about Arn a bit) but the falling bulldog is countered, allowing Watson to hit a fireman’s carry into a pancake for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but it kind of came and went. Watson is so much better now that it’s not even funny. He needed to play things straight and that’s what he’s doing here. It works so much better for him this way and I could see him being a lower midcard guy on the main rosters. As for Bateman….just let us look at Maxine.

Overall Rating: C-. Pretty boring show tonight although the wrestling wasn’t bad. As is the custom around here, when they talk about the competition and have the rookies out there, the show goes downhill in a hurry. With Young gone though, at least we’re getting closer to having the end of the season. I guess the Redemption Points aren’t going to mean anything at all for the whole 30+ weeks this has been on are they? Weak show tonight but not horrible.

Results
AJ b. Maxine – Shining Wizard
Usos b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks – Double Superfly Splash to Reks
Percy Watson b. Derrick Bateman – Fireman’s carry into a pancake

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 25, 2002
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,550
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well as you know there’s usually a reason as to why I do these random Raws and in this case this is the first ever WWE Draft. Tonight we split the roster in two to have Raw and Smackdown as independent (yeah right) shows with different owners (Flair on Raw, Vince on Smackdown) in the system we’re used to now. This was also 8 days after Mania so we’re still kind of transitioning to the new year. Let’s get to it.

Linda introduces us to the concept of the Draft where tonight we’re only going to have twenty picks, as in ten each. There’s a world title match tonight with HHH vs. Jericho vs. Stephanie so none of them can be drafted. Also Austin is undraftable uh…..because he’s bald. That’s as good an explanation as any (the official reason is he had it in his contract. How was that contract written? “In the event that the roster becomes too big to sustain one roster and must be split in half under a concept called the Brand Split I get to not be drafted? Imagine those negotiations. In reality he was having a contract dispute and wasn’t signed).

Taz vs. Mr. Perfect

Hennig had made a comeback here at age 44 where he still looked solid out there. He would be gone in like three months after getting very drunk on a plane. He would be dead in less than a year which is mind blowing. Hennig says he’ll be the perfect pick and sounds a bit shall we say buzzed. Jazz and whoever winds up being world champion can be on both shows apparently. Perfectplex but Taz gets the ropes. They collide in the corner and Taz grabs the Tazmission to end this QUICK. Taz says Hennig was JUST ANOTHER VICTIM. He was getting popular around this time too but his neck gave out and he had to retire.

Rating: N/A. Way too short but competitive enough. Perfect was still rather good and looked exactly like he did in his prime. Shame his personal life was more or less a disaster because he could have been used as a solid midcard guy.

The owners are both in their war rooms going over their plans. Vince has the first pick.

After a break we’re ready for said pick. We get a brief speech and the #1 overall pick is The Rock. Can’t say that’s a bad way to go. Hard to believe he more or less had a year left. Rock comes out and Vince runs down a bunch of stuff Rock can’t do anymore, namely catchphrases he can’t say. Rock stops him from leaving and proceeds to make fun of Vince, leading the crowd in a huge anti-Vince chant. He’s just absolutely awesome here. This was rather funny. Rock does one last IF YA SMELL since it’s his last night on Raw which is a nice touch.

We’re back and it’s time for Flair’s first pick. With nothing special to say, he picks the Undertaker who was in a big feud with Flair around this time. Wow it’s weird to think about Taker being on Raw. He throws some stuff and we get a nice little graphic with Taker’s stats on it. Rock got the same.

Vince is furious and Angle comes in to complain. Taker does the same and threatens Vince. It’s very weird to think that Taker started on Raw but he would be on Smackdown in about 4 months and has been there since.

Edge/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Booker T/Christian

These were both singles matches at Mania where both faces won. Edge was getting very hot very fast at this point and probably would have been world champion within a year had he not gotten hurt. Christian has the awesome entrance here with the high pitched singers saying AT LAST YOU ARE ON YOU OWN! I love that. It comes complete with Alberto’s current pyro. Christian cost DDP the European Title recently as well. Oh and Angle cost Edge a match vs. Booker.

The Draft Lottery is plugged even though most of the picks meant nothing. Edge and Booker start us off. This is another very short match where the Canadians go to the floor and DDP gets a Diamond Cutter on Booker. Christian with a save and Edge misses a spin kick by a mile but Christian doesn’t sell much of it, which I think was intentional. Axe Kick kills DDP for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was another very short one although it was better than the first match. Nothing all that bad in here but when a match barely breaks two minutes it’s kind of hard to say if it was good or not. With such little time how can they get anything going at all? This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t very good either.

Angle lists off a ton of his accomplishments to Vince in an attempt to be the #2 pick which is rather funny. Vince wants the NWO though, which apparently is drafted as a unit. Vince takes Angle as the second pick after some nice psychology from Angle, but Kurt ticked about not being #1.

Flair immediately hits the stage and says he’ll do everything he can do to get Austin on Raw, which he would do. Flair takes the entire NWO (Hall, Nash and X-Pac) in a surprise. Vince is FURIOUS but vows to get Austin. Angle talks to him a bit and Vince takes Benoit who was still out injured. Oddly enough when he came back he started on Raw before moving over to Smackdown.

The NWO yells at Flair. Pac, who has been there since Thursday (literally) is now their mouthpiece. Hall says you don’t blow us off so Flair makes his #3 pick, who is designed to look after the NWO: Kane. Ok then. In other words on Smackdown we have Rock, Angle and Benoit. On Raw we have Nash (injured), Hall (fat), Waltman (overrated), Taker (AWFUL at this point) and Kane (you know the drill here). Which show would you rather watch?

Trish Stratus vs. Ivory

Ivory is back and this is some kind of a small grudge. Yeah there’s nothing to talk about here. Trish wins in about two minutes with Stratusfaction. No rating either. Totally worthless.

Vince comes out again and gets the chant Rock invented earlier. He takes Hogan, who is incorrectly listed as a 7 time WCW Champion. Ah apparently they’re including the Bash at the Beach title here. Vince doing Hogan’s air guitar is rather funny.

After a break, Flair comes out to take RVD who brings the IC Title with him.

Vince is mad about losing the IC Title so Angle suggests a match between him and RVD for the title tonight so Angle can bring it Smackdown.

Rock is walking around backstage and Hogan comes up to him. The bald one suggests a handicap match vs. the NWO. Well what kind of a huge face would Rock be if he said no?

Vince is here to make his next pick (5th overall if you’re keeping track) and he picks Billy and Chuck who are the tag champions.

Tough Enough 2 commercial. I had my first kiss while that show was going on in the background.

Somehow the boot of the week is a chair shot. No one accused WWE of making sense all the time.

NWO vs. Hulk Hogan/The Rock

This is Nash’s first match in the company I think since his return. Ah scratch that as I’m wrong actually. It was one of his first though. Hogan and X-Pac start us off here which is a RIVETING match indeed. And Hogan throws him to the floor immediately in a nice power display. Hall comes in and fails also so we switch to Nash. Amazingly all Hogan seems to do is punch.

Hot tag to the Rock and we CRANK it up. We shift from an 80s style to a 90s style and it’s much more interesting. Cold tag to Hogan and the crowd just dies. Pac makes the save as it’s all breaking down. He breaks out the knunchucks and here comes Kane since he’s the guy taking care of the NWO and he clears house, giving the NWO the win.

Rating: D. Weak match but Rock was interesting. This wasn’t much at all and with five minutes how big of a match can it be? This is the last match on Raw for Hogan and Rock? This is the best they can do? That’s hardly a good sign. This was really rather weak all things considered.

Vince comes into Flair’s office to yell about various things. Flair takes Booker. Vince takes Edge. Flair takes Big Show. Vince takes Rikishi. They’re going that fast. So in other words: Nash, Hall, Waltman, Taker, Kane and Big Show vs. Benoit, Rock, Angle and Edge. Who do you think wins in the long run here? Keep in mind that the NWO guys would all be gone in the second week of July, this is looking one sided to say the least. Come to think of it, a year after this Rock and Edge were gone too. Help is on the way however, as between now and August WWE would debut guys named Lesnar, Orton, Cena, Batista and Mysterio. Like I said, this was a transitional period for the company. Oh and Shawn came back in the fall too.

Jeff Hardy vs. Billy Gunn

This is during the gay era for Billy and Chuck, culminating in a mind blowing ending when they were about to be married but the minister was Eric Bischoff with a prosthetic face on, pretending to be a senior citizen aged preacher. It legitimately got me. Another two minute match but Jeff getting a singles run was a new idea back then. Matt and Chuck fighting on the floor cause Jeff to miss the Swanton. Lita TOTALLY botches a rana on Rico but Jeff gets the pin on Billy anyway.

Rating: N/A. I’m really getting tired of these short matches. That botch was a sight though. Her legs didn’t even get close to around his head. Moving on.

Flair picks Bubba Ray Dudley so Vince takes D-Von. They actually were going to try to make Bubba a serious challenger, even giving him a world title shot on Raw and giving it time. D-Von became a preacher with a deacon named Batista. I think the latter was a bit more famous.

European Title: Rikishi vs. William Regal

As Regal is coming to the ring, some HUGE muscle guy comes in and beats the living tar out of Rikishi, hitting a spinebuster and a SICK fireman’s carry spinout facebuster. You may know the move as the F5 and the guy as the current UFC World Heavyweight Champion: Brock Lesnar. I told you this was a transitional period. No match obviously.

Jazz is a witch in New York.

Vince tries to get Brock but it’s not his pick so Flair takes him. Great to see that D-Von pick working for Vince. Vince takes Mark Henry. I actually laugh when I think of the comparison between those two. Flair takes the European William Regal so Vince takes Maven, the Hardcore Champion. Flair takes Lita. Those are the last two picks. Let’s stop for a minute here and go pick for pick and look at these selections with Vince’s coming first.

#1: Rock vs. Undertaker. That’s a tossup I guess as Rock was bigger at the time but Taker is better long term.
#2: Kurt Angle vs. NWO. Do I even need to make fun of this one?
#3: Chris Benoit vs. Kane. Vince wins this based on in ring work alone.
#4: Hulk Hogan vs. Rob Van Dam. Have to go Vince here again as RVD was never really that important in WWE. Close one though given the money Hogan probably commanded.
#5: Billy and Chuck vs. Booker T. Comedy team vs. future world champion. Hmm I wonder.
#6: Edge vs. Big Show. Vince gets another one.
#7: Rikishi vs. Bubba Ray Dudley. Everyone loses.
#8: D-Von Dudley vs. Brock Lesnar. Actually you could make a case for Vince winning here as like I said Batista debuted shortly after this as D-Von’s enforcer. On paper though it’s really Flair in a landslide as Brock was a once in a lifetime find.
#9: Mark Henry vs. William Regal. Flair wins again.
#10: Maven vs. Lita. Eyebrows Huffman vs. a great rack. Flair finishes strong.

Vince has the better core and I think wins pretty easily here, especially since Brock was on Smackdown within 8 months. Also Raw wound up being boring as HECK soon after this.

Vince makes fun of Flair picking Lita because it’s going to be awful and a cesspool.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle

Angle grabs a German immediately. Dang Angle was good back then. RVD makes a short comeback to some very solid cheers. He sets for the Five Star but Angle hits the floor. And then Angle pulls the referee in front of the dropkick for the DQ. Edge comes down for the save.

Rating: N/A. Dude we can’t have these two get TV time? Are you kidding me? Where is the time going in this show considering how fast they’re making picks?

Stephanie says she’s going to win the title.

Undisputed Title: Stephanie McMahon vs. HHH vs. Chris Jericho

This is a triple threat and if Stephanie is pinned she’s out of the company. Jericho sends HHH to the floor and Stephanie lays down for Jericho but HHH makes the save. HHH won the title 8 days before this mind you. Totally boring match as the two wrestlers have to be on pins and needles so Stephanie doesn’t get exposed as being NOT A WRESTLER.

Stephanie slaps Jericho for some reason and they argue. Jericho goes for the Walls as this match needs to end. We know HHH isn’t losing so quit teasing us about it. HHH knocks Jericho down and stalks Stephanie. Pedigree is set up but Jericho hits a dropkick to stop it. Jericho grabs a title and a chair and through some odd stuff both HHH and Jericho get belt shots. Stephanie comes in and covers Jericho for two. She does this weird thing of lifting her leg on covers.

HHH gets caught in the Walls but Stephanie jumps on Jericho’s back. Pedigree gets two on Jericho and Stephanie makes the save. Spinebuster ends her and she’s gone….for four months until she became Smackdown’s GM. Security literally drags her away.

Rating: D-. Just horrible stuff here as HHH and Jericho more or less did nothing while this was about Stephanie all over again. What a shock right? She was the focus of just about everything for a good while and this would only get worse in 03/04 when Smackdown was ALL about her and Vince and their stupid feud for power. This was a glorified house show main event though and was really quite stupid.

Overall Rating: D-. Just a bad show overall with the main event being the only thing to break 8 minutes. The picks are odd at best and stupid at worst with nothing really making that much sense at all. This was a bad show and the whole thing would just get worse as the year went on with Raw becoming the HHH show and no one really paying attention to how awesome Smackdown was. Oh and Shawn would come back and be instantly pushed to the top of the roster because he’s Shawn and a 4 year layoff is easy to come back from right? Bad show but huge for historical purposes.

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Best of the WWF Volume 1
Host: Vince McMahon
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Red Bastien, Vince McMahon, Alfred Hayes

This is the long delayed installment in the series from Coliseum Video. The word best is a huge stretch but it’s really just a collection of matches, some of which I’ve done before. There are 20 volumes in the set and I found some more of them recently so I’m required by reviewer’s law to be all over them. Let’s get to it.

I miss the old Coliseum Video intro. It’s just cool.

Most of these matches are clipped by the way but I’ll do what I can.

Hulk Hogan/Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd/Adrian Adonis/Dick Murdoch

Murdoch and Adonis are tag champions. This is from the Meadowlands in New Jersey. Hogan and Andre say they’re awesome and best friends and all that jazz. This is from July 15, 1984. I have dates for most of the matches so I’ll try to remember to add those. Adonis is a biker here and not gay yet. No Real American yet either. Red Bastien of all people is on commentary with Gorilla. His most famous contribution to wrestling would probably be training Sting and Ultimate Warrior.

Hogan is in the white here. My there’s a lot of background and little things like that being thrown in here. Hogan and Adonis start us off. I’ll give you two guesses as to how well this goes for Adrian. Off to Murdoch and we’re clipped to him bringing in Studd as the heels work on Hulk’s arm. Clipped again (maybe 10 seconds between them) to Andre coming in for the giant staredown.

Andre wants a test of strength so let’s clip it to Hogan fighting the tag champions. Clipping can be so frustrating. Adonis is sent into the corner and Andre massacres him for some fun. Now it’s time for some more monster battles and he Andre gets all three heels trapped into the same corner and rams shoulders into them. The heels take turns triple teaming him and actually manage to get him down. Well score one for them.

Clipped for the fourth time to more of the heels beating on him. From what I can find, this match ran about 22 minutes so clipping it down is probably a good thing. Murdoch wraps the tag rope around Andre’s neck but Hogan comes to….do nothing at all. Andre gets the rope and chokes a bit but it’s off to Hulk who beats up a lot of people. Murdoch gets an elbow up and it’s clip #5 to Hogan being slammed by Adonis.

Adrian gets crotched so here’s Studd instead. Bastien doesn’t talk much. Andre comes in off a double clothesline by Hogan and Murdoch and everything breaks down as you would expect it to. Studd tries to run so Andre waddles after him. The tag champs beat down Hogan but he starts no selling punches. I think you can see the ending coming already. Andre drops down on Murdoch’s chest and stays there despite Adonis pounding on him. See, now why do you never see that happen? Doesn’t it strike you as odd that when a guy has a cover and is hit from behind he flies off to the side?

Rating: C-. Obviously this is just for what I saw, which is only about half of the match. This is very much a house show main event as there was only a feud between Andre and Studd. There was nothing I’m aware of between Hogan and Murdoch although he has some matches with Adrian if I remember correctly. Either way, thank goodness this was clipped.

The next match is the main event from the Brawl to End it All, which is kind of like the grandfather of Wrestlemania. It’s from July 23, 1984 in MSG and was aired live on MTV. This is the full version of the review and I copied and pasted it from the original so I have no idea if the whole match was put onto the tape or not.

Moolah says she’s a legend and this is going to be easy.

Women’s Title: Wendi Richter vs. Fabulous Moolah

Moolah looks old. Richter looks insane but this is the 80s so that makes sense. Nuclear heat on Albano. Lauper is at ringside too which gets a huge pop. Moolah throws her out onto the announce table almost immediately. Moolah probably had a hand in training Richter so this should be a pretty bad clash of styles.

Lauper’s manager is on commentary and can’t talk that well which is expected I guess. Richter gets an armbar to maintain control. Both miss dropkicks as it’s odd to see this being the big blowoff to a major feud as the feature contest. Albano’s ramblings are rather funny.

In a funny moment Richter gets her neck snapped over the ropes and Gene shouts OH SNAP! Rather sloppy match here as Moolah gets hung upside down in the ropes. She stays there for a good while until Albano saves her. Ok so he’s just trying to as it doesn’t work at all. Finally she’s out thanks to the referee.

Full nelson to Moolah and Cyndi pops up on the apron. And now she’s down. Was there a point to that at all? Lauper hits Moolah in the face with…something and the referee is fine with this I guess. Ok then. Suplex gets two for Wendi. This has been almost dominance by Richter here.

Moolah gets a monkey flip for two, as in back to back one counts. That was odd looking. She takes over a bit and pulls Wendi up off a backdrop which is one of her finishers. Why it was one of her finishers I’m not sure but whatever. Albano misses a wild punch and Moolah continues her dominance.

Belly to back with a bridge gets the pin but we’re not sure whose shoulders were down. Ah ok Moolah got pinned. Really don’t like that booking as Wendi needed the definitive pin to make this work. Moolah and Albano beat up the referee after the match. Richter and company celebrate to end the show.

Rating: C-. The match sucked but that wasn’t the point. This was for the big blowoff and we got it. This match was really just the appetizer and table setter for the big one coming up in February and then March. Nothing all that special but it’s better than a lot of what you would see today.

Gorilla Monsoon vs. Baron Mikel Scicluna

Ok, the match means NOTHING here. Before the match, Muhammad Ali is introduced to the crowd. Remember that, because it becomes VERY important later. This is from June 1976 and we’re in the Garden again. Baron jumps him to start and that doesn’t work at all. Gorilla chops him to the floor and Ali freaks out. He takes his shirt and tie off and Baron walks out. Yeah the match itself is over already.

And now we get to the important part of the show. Ali throws some punches without really trying to connect. He points a finger in Monsoon’s face and Gorilla picks up Muhammad Ali and gives him an airplane spin. Muhammad Ali is the world heavyweight boxing champion at this point. Ali is slammed to the mat and bails. Gorilla says he proved wrestling is superior over boxing.

This was insane at the time as it was huge mainstream publicity and Ali was the biggest sports star in the world, bar none. This would be like Lionel Messi or Tiger Woods doing this. It also set up a match in Japan with Antonio Inoki facing Ali in what is the grandfather of MMA fights. Gorilla, ever the definition of old school, would never admit if this whole thing was planned or not.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Bobby Bass

This is from some time in 1984. Just a squash with the Splash ending it in about 90 seconds. Nothing to see here other than the finish.

Time for something a little more famous. Jimmy Snuka is in Piper’s Pit and Piper won’t shut up to let Jimmy talk. Snuka was the second biggest star in the company at this point so this is pure evil from the Hot Scot. He offers Jimmy a pineapple, some bananas and some coconuts so that Jimmy can feel like he’s at home.

Jimmy asks if Piper is making fun of him and we get the famous scene of Piper breaking the coconut over Jimmy’s head. Jimmy goes flying through the set and Piper shoves the banana in his face then whips him with the belt. This set off a HUGE feud over the summer with tons of wars between these two and it’s also why Snuka was in Hogan’s corner at the first Wrestlemania.

Roddy Piper vs. Jimmy Snuka

August 25, 1984 in the Garden again. Snuka starts off with chops and a headbutt. Piper is begging off as is the custom to start a grudge match like this in the 80s. Piper tries a headbutt of his own and when that doesn’t work he thumbs Snuka in the eyes. Jimmy grabs a sleeper and Piper is apparently trying to shimmy his way out of it. They go to the floor with the hold still on.

Piper, more in his element now, is able to break the hold on the floor. Jimmy sends him into the post and is busted open. Jimmy “goes bananas” according to Gorilla, which is a very poor choice of words given what started this feud. Snuka hammers away and hits the headbutt but the top rope cross body is countered into a hot shot and falls to the floor for a countout. Again, they keep the feud going with a non-conclusive ending. Old school booking 101.

Rating: B-. Solid brawl here as you could feel the hatred. This was a house show match though so the ending is understandable. The feud between these guys was great and I’m sure it would be blown off at another house show just like this one. I love old school booking. It’s so much different than today’s. Actually it’s not so different but house shows were the life blood of the company back then.

Junior Heavyweight Title: The Cobra vs. Black Tiger

This is Black Tiger #1 who is a lot more famous in Japan. Cobra fought in Japan a lot more than in America. This is the light heavyweight title of the 80s and it eventually moved to Japan permanently until it was brought back in 97 for Taka to win. This is also from the Garden a few days after Christmas of 84. The title is vacant here. Black Tiger is a British guy under the mask and is billed from England. That’s different.

The fans have no idea who these guys are and are very quiet because of it. It’s clipped from a few minutes after the opening with Cobra in control to Black Tiger working on the leg. Cobra hits a spinwheel kick and a knee drop for two. Gorilla gives an idea of what it’s like to be in a mask and it’s off to a Boston Crab (clipped) by Cobra. Off to a surfboard which only lasts a few seconds.

We go from Cobra hitting the ropes to being in a full nelson. Gene Okerlund pops back on commentary now. Tiger goes up and is slammed down in a clip that is on the Coliseum Video intro. Clipped again (I think) to Black Tiger hitting a clothesline for some of his first offense. Swinging neckbreaker by Tiger sets up more clipping to Cobra taking over. A dropkick puts Tiger on the floor and Cobra hits a suicide dive to get the crowd into it. The selling is straight out of ROH here as Tiger pops up and hits a top rope splash for no cover.

Suplex gets two. Tombstone gets two for the Tiger. I think Tiger is the heel here but it’s really not clear. Cobra hits a tombstone of his own and I think we’re clipped again. Either that or the crowd got going VERY quickly out of nowhere. Cobra goes up and hits a senton back splash to win the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it really wasn’t anything to write home about, let alone write a full review of. This was nothing by comparison as it really wasn’t any kind of a fast paced match at all. The top rope move was a nice thing to see as that was still a big move. Not a bad match or anything but just kind of there.

We get a segment of Hogan training Mean Gene for a match with George Steele and Mr. Fuji. I think I’ve reviewed this before but whatever. Gene is having a cigar and coffee and Hogan freaks out on him and makes breakfast for him, which is mainly raw eggs. Gene looks like he lives in a trailer. They go for a run around the lake and some people are there to cheer them on. Gene wants a beer. Day 2 is weight training. This is set to the Coliseum Video theme song and is laughably bad. They train for two more days and Hogan is enjoying this way too much. Gene thinks he’s ready.

Hulk Hogan/Gene Okerlund vs. Mr. Fuji/George Steele

August of 84 in Minneapolis. This is when Fuji still wrestled on occasion so he’s not horrible. It’s all Hogan for the most part of course and by that I mean he wrestles most of the match. Gene in trunks and no shirt is something I NEVER need to see again. Clipped to Steele cheating and taking over on Hogan. Hogan sends him to the floor and struts a bit. Gene high fives Hulk and that counts as a tag. Gene, ever the idiot, tries his luck with Gene….and then dives through George’s legs for the tag. That’s better.

Clipped again to Hulk pounding on Fuji. Fuji tries to throw some salt but Hogan messes that up. Gene puts a knee into Fuji (or something like that) and then Hogan slams Gene onto Fuji for the pin. Yeah I think we all knew that was the ending that was coming here. Gene gets to kick both guys post match.

Rating: D+. Ok yes it’s bad, but at the same time what were you expecting here? I mean, you have to keep in mind what you’re watching when you look at something like this. It’s not going to be a masterpiece and yes it’s very bad, but you have to give it a big bit of slack as there’s a manager and an interviewer out there.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Now THIS is some legendary stuff. This is the original match where it’s more of an exhibition than a match. Basically Bruno is the teacher who taught Larry everything he knows but Larry wants to prove he can hang with Bruno. This is from January of 1980. This is going to be all feeling out/nice guy stuff until the very end. Sammartino takes him to the mat with a drop toehold and has dominated the entire match so far.

Bruno keeps putting holds on Larry and then lets them go which is an odd choice of offense. Larry grabs an abdominal stretch but Bruno powers out of it. Half crab goes on Bruno but Larry lets it go. Sammartino grabs about his fifth hold and lets go of it too. They try a crisscross and Larry gets tossed over in a hiptoss. He’s getting very ticked off here.

Apparently Bruno said he’d only wrestle defensively in this match. Larry heads to the floor to cool his head and Bruno looks the other way for some reason. Larry comes back in and in the biggest heel turn ever at this point, DESTROYS Bruno with a wooden chair. There is blood all over the place. This was shocking and came out of absolutely nowhere. It also set up the hottest feud of the year which we’ll get to the blowoff of in a second.

Rating: C-. The match itself means nothing as the heel turn is the whole thing. This was one of the biggest angles ever and is still a huge turn that works to this day. They would feud over the summer and would blow it off in front of about 40,000 people in the infield of Shea Stadium. We need to get to that now.

For the next match, bare in mind that it’s from the WWE 24/7 version. Michael Cole and Mick Foley did not do commentary for a tape released in late 1984.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Wrestling 101 here: Bruno was the mentor, Larry decided he had surpassed the teacher, teacher kept being the star, student attacks the teacher, they go to a baseball stadium and have a wrestling match in front of 36,000 people in a box with no lid on it. Tale as old as time. Old school cage here, as in the kind they have now. NUCLEAR heat on Larry. Bruno gets the only entrance of the night.

We even get clips of Zbyszko’s heel turn which is WAY rare. Bruno jumps him to start and Larry hits the cage 3 times in about 5 seconds. You can only go through the door here and not over the top for no apparent reason. Apparently Larry talks about this match to the point of annoyance. Low blow gives Larry a chance to breathe as this has been very intense so far.

Foley makes another interesting point: Bruno headlined all three Shea shows and only once was world champion at the time. That’s saying a lot. This is the first match with an angle and the crowd clearly knows it. We get into a discussion about whether Bruno would be successful today and the commentators say yes because he was the people’s man. You know, like that blue collar guy that represented the hard working everyman who didn’t like his boss. Someone you could have a beer with. Or maybe a case of them if you get what I’m talking about. Yeah I think Bruno would have worked today.

Almost all Bruno so far. Now we talk about Stan Hansen inspiring Foley to sleep with his wife. Ok then. We hear about Larry and Foley driving together and Cole says how would they get a word in edgewise? Foley says he only talks over Cole because he’s smarter than Michael is. Nice line! Bruno’s arm is bleeding so Larry punches away at it. After nearly ten minutes Larry makes the first attempt at the door, naturally not getting there.

We get into a semi-argument over whether or not Foley ever worked out. Foley seems genuinely ticked off about that and I can’t say I blame him. Bruno wakes up and beats the heck out of Larry, kicking him in the head one more time and walking out to win it definitively. Bruno beats on him some more after the match ends

Rating: C+. Solid match for what it was supposed to be which was a big time brawl. The fans loved it and Bruno decisively won. What more can you ask from them? This was a blowoff to a feud and that’s what they did. There’s nowhere for this feud to go from here and it ended. That’s what gimmick matches are for. LEARN THIS RUSSO!

Overall Rating: C+. This is a weird one. It’s just such a different era and there are the start of three HUGE angles on here so the historical value trumps almost any other tape you’ll get from this era. This is about 4 months before the first Wrestlemania so you can really see how different things are back here. It’s an entertaining tape, but the drama outweighs the wrestling by about five Big Shows.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 10, 2011
Location: Chesapeake Energy Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

This should be an interesting show as it’s after the walk out and we may only have about six guys (conveniently enough the top faces on the roster) and HHH to run things. There’s talk of something called a solidarity rally which I guess is their take on the Wall Street protests, which I’m sure will be laughed at because people complaining about business is bad right Vinny Mac? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the walk out last week and I think it was the same one on Smackdown.

And we have no commentators. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

I guess he got the cameramen to agree with him as we go to the back and no one is there. HHH comes out of his office and looks around. He comes to the ring (with music) and talks about how everyone walked out last week. They walked out on the fans, not him. There’s a solidarity rally going on out back and they’re all in gear. HHH makes a good point by making fun of them for saying the show is too tough. They really do sound whiny out there with this argument.

He asks the fans if he should step down and he says no. HHH talks about how he’s never been a quitter and goes on a short rant about how he’ll never quit. He says he’ll wrestle a broomstick for two hours (Flair reference) and says it might give him a better match than some of those guys. There will be a show tonight, somehow.

Cue Cena who didn’t walk out last week. He’s very serious tonight and says there’s a reason he wasn’t walking out last week. Every person that walked out has personally asked him to join in the walk out. HHH never asked him to stay. HHH is the first boss for a lot of those guys so Cena runs down his bosses: Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff, Vickie Guerrero, 56 guest hosts, a talking computer and Mike Adamle (“Now that was a real unsafe working environment.”) HHH is his boss and he’s staying.

Cena is staying because he loves the insanity. His loyalty is to the fans and when he wears the word loyalty on his shirt he means it. No matter what, he’s staying on Monday Night Raw. Cue Sheamus who talks about beating HHH up a year or so ago. He was young and trying to make a name for himself. Sheamus says that after that he got the worst beating of his life from HHH and he respects HHH for it. As corny as it sounds, that fits for Sheamus.

As for the big white dude, he’s not going anywhere because he didn’t come thousands of miles to be in a parking lot. Cue Punk with a mic. He says he can’t help but feel sorry….oh screw it yes he did start the whole thing. He made walking out look cool but now it looks stupid. Punk did it to prove a point and he had a great reason to do that. He talks about how someone doesn’t want him to be WWE Champion. Punk talks about how this is the place where differences between men are settled in a ring. This is professional wrestling, not ballet.

He talks about how he’ll deal with people personally (Calling Sheamus Shame-O and Cena the big boyscout). Punk asks the million dollar question: what do we do now? HHH says we do what we do on Raw: we shut up and fight. Tonight it’s Sheamus vs. John Cena. Since HHH is in something resembling stripes he’ll referee. Punk will be on commentary on his own and he can even wear HHH’s blazer. The look on Punk’s face cracked me up. Punk also has to ring the bell and wants double pay.

John Cena vs. Sheamus

They start with some basic back and forth stuff and we go to a fast commercial. Back with Sheamus countering the AA into a suplex for two……AND VINCE IS BACK! We saw all of 45 seconds of the match.

Vince asks the guys to leave so he can talk to HHH on his own. The fans chant you got fired. The guys not named HHH go to the back and Vince talks about how they’re all standing up for what they believe in. He mentions the Wall Street protests and actually doesn’t make fun of them. He’s on HHH’s side in this. Vince talks about how there are people that sympathize on both sides and some of the people that are on the walkers side is the board of directors.

The board isn’t sure what’s coming from this and it could mean anything up to the cancellation of anything from house shows to Raw to Wrestlemania. HHH is relieved of his duties. Neither him nor Vince nor any McMahon will be running Raw. The board is looking for a GM who is ethical. There will however be an interim GM and that’s Johnny Ace. Oh dear.

After a break, Ace brings in the guys again. Morrison of all people talks to him and tells Morrison he absolutely sucks. Morrison has to have a match right now against an unspecified opponent. Christian sucks up to Ace and for some reason is put into the match with Morrison. Ok then.

JR and the King come out for commentary. And so does Cole.

John Morrison vs. Christian

Christian has Ziggler, Rhodes and Swagger with them. Both guys are in street clothes. This is a nothing match for the most part as they hit each other a lot and then Ziggler distracts Morrison so that a spear can end this at 1:12.

All three other heels hit their finishers on Morrison post match. Swagger’s music plays them out. Odd choice.

Alberto vs. Punk (non-title) tonight.

Henry vs. Orton, also non-title later.

Wait. The five guys from the last segment were in street clothes. Didn’t HHH say everyone was in their gear? Consistency people.

Post break Ace is on the phone with his wife and HHH comes in. HHH stares him down and Ace tries to talk his way out of trouble. He talks about how he’s a company guy and was appointed just like HHH was. HHH threatens him and leaves.

Henry is in the ring and talks about Big Show. We get a video of Show vs. Henry including Henry getting beaten up on Friday. Show vs. Henry is official for Vengeance. Henry says Vengeance will be his. Orton’s voice comes over the speakers and says Vengeance will be his.

Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton

This is joined in progress after a break. Henry is overpowering Orton and JR calls him the Calculating Colossus. Oh dude….just no. A powerslam gets two but Henry misses an Earthquake drop and Orton takes over. A clothesline takes Henry down clean. Now that’s a high powered clothesline. Elevated DDT hits and here’s Cody Rhodes. He gets sent to the floor and Orton walks into the Slam. Orton escapes and hits the RKO but Cody runs in again for the DQ at 3:24 shown.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what you want me to say here as there wasn’t anything to this. Rhodes vs. Orton is a feud that hasn’t happened in full yet and now Rhodes is ready enough for it. Also getting Orton out of the title picture is probably a very good thing. Also it means the Cell ended a feud which is a good thing. Nothing to complain about here.

Post match Orton tries an RKO on Rhodes but gets shoved into the Slam. Henry leaves and Rhodes gives Orton CrossRhodes and bags him. Rhodes talks about cutting the head off the viper and asks if Randy wants a receipt with his paper bag and then laughs maniacally. Best laugh since DiBiase?

Rosa Mendes/Tamina vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly

Kelly is all intense to start and she and Rosa botch the handspring elbow almost immediately with Rosa walking into the ring for the collision for some reason. Off to Tamina who gets beaten down by the weakest punches ever. Off to Eve and the fans go silent. Everything breaks down and Eve hits the moonsault for the pin at 2:14. This was one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen. I mean it was BAD.

Johnny Ace comes out during Eve and Kelly’s celebration and they leave. He talks about doing the ethical thing and asks JR to come into the ring. Ace fires him for being a hick ingrate. JR tips his hat and leaves immediately. Cole is elated.

Mason Ryan/Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/David Otunga

Bourne vs. Ziggler to start but Kofi is drawn in by the magnetic power of Dolph. Dolph is sent to the floor so Ryan throws him back in only for Kofi to clothesline him back out. A dive by Bourne takes him down also and we go to a break with a standoff. Bad match so far for the US Champ. Back with Kofi reversing Swagger and bringing in Ryan. Ryan uses his assortment of forearms and it’s back to Kofi.

Otunga comes in and slams Kofi a few times so it’s back to Dolph for a SWEET dropkick. Everything breaks down and Bourne gets caught in a HUGE powerbomb by Swags. Ryan picks up Ziggler and does the way too complex and long spinning release Rock Bottom for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C-. I just couldn’t get into this at all. I really hope they don’t just bypass Ryder as the #1 contender for the US title because he’s big and muscled. Anyway, this was a match that was just ok but Ryan and Otunga added nothing to it at all. Pretty boring overall and I didn’t get into it.

Brodus Clay is still coming.

Time to waste some time on the trailer for John Cena’s newest movie which has a limited engagement next weekend. It’s an action comedy where Cena is a private investigator to get an inheritance.

Del Rio vs. Cena for the title at Vengeance.

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

This is non-title. They start off with a feeling out process until Punk pounds Del Rio down onto the floor. Del Rio takes over for a bit and they do a bunch of nothing for awhile. After about four minutes, here’s Johnny Ace to stop the match. It’s now a tag match with these two vs. Awesome Truth who are reinstated.

Awesome Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz

Miz and Truth do another remix onto the ring. This is in progress after a break. Del Rio fights off both of the other two heels and it’s off to Punk. This is one of those boring matches where they mess around a bit as we’re waiting for the ending to get here already. Alberto fights them both off again and tags in Punk before limping up the crowd with the help of Ricardo.

Ok so now it’s a handicap match. Miz and Truth are really boring when they’re in control. Punk fights them off for awhile and even manages to hit the Macho elbow on Miz. He calls for the GTS on Miz…and then it’s a double beatdown leading to a double DQ at 8:00. The fans audibly and correctly groaned at that ending.

Rating: D. Whatever here man. This was nothing and I could barely pay attention to it at the end. The ending was the worst thing they could have done to it and they did it anyway. Bad match and I have no idea where this is going, although in this case I don’t particluarly care, which isn’t good.

HHH comes out for the save and they beat on Awesome Truth until they run.

Ace makes Punk/Truth vs. Awesome Truth for Vengeance.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not sure what I thought of this show. You certainly can’t say nothing happened though. It had some twists and turns and not a lot of wrestling. Ace as the GM is probably the most logical thing at the moment…..somehow…..but that doesn’t make him any more interesting. I guess we put the Big Bad reveal on hold a little while longer as I’m starting to agree that this has no idea where it’s going. It’s like they tried to reset the whole thing tonight and while I think I can see the ending to this coming, it’s not getting here any faster and that’s not good.

Results
John Cena vs. Sheamus went to a no contest
Christian b. John Morrison – Spear
Randy Orton b. Mark Henry via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Rosa Mendes/Tamina – Moonsault to Mendes
Air Boom/Mason Ryan b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/David Otunga – Spinning release Rock Bottom to Ziggler
Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk went to a no contest
CM Punk/Alberto Del Rio b. Awesome Truth via DQ when Awesome Truth double teamed Punk

What is your favorite?

Mine would probably be Have A Nice Day.  It’s a great way of telling Foley’s story which is fascinating and having him do the writing was a great touch as he personalizes things so well.  It’s a fell good story too as it ends with him winning the title which was his dream growing up.

Your picks?

Battlebowl
Date: November 20, 1993
Location: Pensacola Civic Center, Pensacola, Florida
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

This is another of Dusty’s brilliant ideas that never really worked after the first time which was only because Sting was the star of the show. At least this year they didn’t have it at Starrcade. The idea is we take something like 32 names and draw them out for “random” tag matches. The 16 winners have a battle royal to win…..well to win the battle royal. There are no other matches on the card and since this is back in the days before Flair got the booking power, the matches all get at least 8 minutes and in some cases more. This is going to be painful. Let’s get to it.

Everyone gets in a quick line about what the show is about. Just like something for the Rumble would go, but for once this isn’t a ripoff.

Tony says there are 40 men in the back, meaning that 8 guys aren’t going to be out here. They’re going for a ring apparently. Don’t you feel the desire to win that??? We’re also told that Muta, the previous winner, isn’t here. Riveting.

Gene and a French maid named Fifi read the names. Barring a funny line or something I likely won’t mention that we go back to them to announce a match as they’re just drawing them out of a tumbler.

Vader/Cactus Jack vs. Charlie Norris/Kane

Vader is world champion here and he and Jack hate each other. Vader SHOVES this guy out of his chair to get here which is awesome. And no that’s not the more famous Kane. This was originally going to be his partner Kole, but Kane took his place. They would soon change their names to Booker T and Stevie Ray and would have some more success. Norris just flat out sucks and everyone knows he does.

Cactus and Vader brawl on the ramp to start us off. Yeah this is going to be one of those nights you can already tell. Norris runs down and Vader just ends him with a punch. Kane (Stevie Ray) and Jack start us off. Vader won’t get in the ring but Race yells at him to get him in. Cactus is a face here and getting very popular and far better for his insane style and improving match style. Of course he was released as soon as Hogan got there because we can’t have young talented and popular guys on our roster!

Norris is tall. That’s about all he’s got going for him and he would be out of the company more or less right after this. Vader Bomb gets a big pop as Norris gets flattened. Cactus hits him with a front flip as this is a squash so far. Jack hits a very weak belly to back suplex on Norris for two. Kane can’t even throw a proper clothesline. The referee calls a tag before the tag actually happens but whatever.

Tony wants every match to be hardcore. Is he Vince Russo all of a sudden? Norris is absolutely horrible. Cactus gets a double arm DDT from nowhere to bring us back to even. Norris hits a top rope chop to Vader who just shrugs it off. Vader gets some face pops here despite being the top heel in the company. That’s how hated Norris was. Vader falls down while powerbombing Norris’ fatness but gets the pin anyway.

Rating: D. Match was boring even with Cactus and Vader in there. Nothing at all happened as we were just standing around doing nothing for the most part. Norris was terrible and thankfull he was gone soon after this. There was zero drama here as we had two guys that mean nothing vs. the main event of Halloween Havoc. Who do you think is going to win here?

Brian Knobbs/Johnny B. Badd vs. Paul Roma/Erik Watts

Watts is the son of Bill Watts and is AWFUL. He’s here because of his daddy and absolutely nothing else. Something tells me this is going to be absolutely awful. Roma is a Horseman here for no apparent reason at all. No entrance music at all for any guy which is odd to see. The Nasty Boys are tag champions here so Knobbs isn’t happy here. The main attraction here is how bad can Watts be.

Badd and Roma, the more talented guys on their teams (keep in mind that Badd is rather young here and hasn’t hit his stride just yet) start us off. Roma is in long white tights here which just looks completely out of place for a heel. At least I think he’s a heel. Based on commentary he’s a face. It’s a bit confusing since almost everyone hated him. He can’t even do a backdrop. Decent dropkick though.

Comedy time as Watts is here. Watts hits a dropkick to the elbow to put Knobbs on the floor. Badd comes in to try to save this and they shake hands. We transition from that to hearing about Cactus Jack being a spiritual advisor, which translates into talking about manager of the year. LOTS of basic stuff from all four guys which is the problem. There’s no flow at all to the match. Badd will do ok and then Knobbs will come in and screw everything up.

None of the wrestling is any good but whatever. To say Watts is limited in the ring is the understatement of the year. Roma gets a powerslam for what would be two but Missy has the referee. She manages the Nasty Boys which I think I forgot to mention. This has been going almost ten minutes already, which is the problem with these shows. The matches go on forever because we have nothing else to air, but the matches completely suck more often than not.

We waste a bunch of time to do nothing at all on the floor. Tony talks a bit like a heel and Jesse says how proud he is of him. They speculate that the winner tonight will have a title shot more than likely, be it the TV Title, the US Title or the World Title. I’m not sure which to make fun of: the statement or the match. Watts gets the hot tag and he unleashes his clotheslines. The announcers argue about some quarterback whose name I missed as Knobbs rolls through a cross body and uses the tights for the pin.

Rating: D-. This got 13 minutes for no apparent reason other than WCW was mad at us or something I guess. Watts never was any good and you can’t blame him for being thrown out there when he flat out wasn’t ready. They never got out of doing basic stuff for nearly 13 minutes. If this was like 5 minutes long it’s bearable, but just way too long and not nearly enough talent to go around.

Shockmaster/Paul Orndorff vs. Ricky Steamboat/Steven Regal

Well the second team is stacked if nothing else. Orndorff is passable so maybe Shockmaster (Tugboat if you’re not familiar for some reason) can be outside most of the time. Steamboat gets by far the biggest reaction of the night so far, which to be fair isn’t saying much. Regal is I think TV Champion here. He held it enough times so we’ll go with that. The announcer saying he’s TV Champion helps a bit too.

LOUD Paula chant to start us off. Orndorff just looks old here. Regal looks downright British. The two more talented guys start us off, and by that I mean Steamboat for his team. This is before Regal got into drugs so heavily and was still very thin. Jesse starts his political jokes as you can tell he wanted to get into that more. We head to the floor and Steamboat is in trouble for all of 8 seconds.

Shocky looks almost clueless out there. He finally comes in and here’s Regal to meet him. In a great heel move he wipes his hands before he gets in. I still can’t get over that being Bill Dundee as his manager. Shocky lifts him up and sits him on the top, patting his head. That was amusing. This ends the entertaining part of his contribution to the match. After a slam he tags out to give us heel vs. heel.

They do very little beyond basics, but Sir William shouting up WELL DONE SIR is kind of amusing for some reason. Regal hooks a full nelson as Jesse thinks we have a tag team here. Regal does a cartwheel. Can you imagine him doing that today without ripping apart every muscle in his body? Steamboat finally comes in and gets caught in a hot shot. Crowd is DEAD by the way.

The problem of this whole show appears again as nothing of note is happening as they’re just killing time since they have 9 matches to fill three hours and there are more or less no segments to fill in time. Regal won’t tag so Shocky makes him in a decent bit. The partners start fighting and an umbrella shot and a splash end Regal, sending Orndorff and Shocky to the final. Clearly the more talented combo!

Rating: D+. By far the best match tonight and even then it’s bad. Regal vs. Orndorff was the highlight….somehow, but the problem again becomes that the only story is face/heel issues, which get boring very quickly as they did here. This wasn’t much at all and it never got out of first gear…much like the other matches. I hate this show already.

Gene has handcuffs for some reason.

King Kong/Dustin Rhodes vs. Equalizer/Awesome Kong

Equalizer is more commonly known as Dave Sullivan. The Kongs are very fat men that both sucked beyond any sense of the word suck. Rhodes gets a decent reaction and he should as he’s the only one with anything resembling talent. The fat guys both wear masks so I can’t tell them apart. Rhodes is US Champion here, which I think he would lose to Austin at Starrcade.

Everyone just kind of stops talking here as the non Kongs start us off. About thirty seconds in the commentary is back as Dustin realizes he’s in over his head here with such little anything to work with. Awesome comes in and is so big you actually can’t see the referee behind him. They make Vader look small so naturally they heavily suck. They’re too light skinned to be the Headhunters. King doesn’t want to fight his partner so more or less it’s 3 on 1.

King comes in finally and beats up Equalizer. The crowd is so silent you can hear individual fans. They slug it out and then go back to just clawing at each others’ faces. Big shoulder block to take down Kong and both tag. Sunset flip gets two for Dustin and it breaks down. The Kongs ram heads and Dustin gets a bulldog on his opponent Kong and wins it.

Rating: D. Again with a weak match as Dustin more or less was a one man team. That’s good as he was the only one of the four that’s watchable. For you young guys he’s more commonly known as Goldust. You had three big guys out there and Dustin, none of which could do anything other than big pounding shots. This went nowhere at all and was boring on top of that. Thankfully it was very short though, so at least there’s that.

Sting/Jerry Sags vs. Keith Cole/Ron Simmons

Cole is half of a team called the Cole Twins that never went anywhere. Sting won the first Battlebowl and is the most popular wrestler in the company by far here. Simmons is on the very brink of a heel turn here but not quite there yet. Jesse gets a good shot in at Missy saying it’s hard to say which of them is Sags. Cole has a long blonde mullet-esque thing to the back of his head. It’s idiotic looking but whatever.

Cole and Sags start us off here. And we stall. That’s the sign of a bad match right off the bat. Ok make that Simmons is going to start. Cole did but he was only in the ring for like 4 seconds and never made contact. Nice dropkick by Simmons who used to be World Champion if you can believe that. We go to a completely random crowd shot during an armbar. Did the camera guy get bored or something?

The fans want Sting and I can’t say I blame them. Sags won’t tag him in of course, just because he’s an annoying pest. Simmons comes in to breathe a bit of life into the match but not much. And now we get Sting vs. Simmons, which is kind of awesome sounding. We get a clean break as Simmons really isn’t a heel yet so it’s ok. O’Connor Roll is totally messed up as this is more or less a standoff.

And now back to Keith Cole to end the interesting part of this match. Cole and Sags do absolutely nothing of note as we just kill time here. Sting comes in to wake up the crowd a bit and we go back to the interesting matchup of the whole match. Ron acts all heelish and the fans are far from thrilled to put it mildly. Hey look! More armbars! Cole is just bringing this match down so far it’s not even funny.

Sting beats up Cole with ease and hits the splash in the corner. Sags comes in because he can and hits a top rope elbow for the easy pin. Simmons beats the heck out of Cole after the match.

Rating: C-. On any other show this is probably lower but this show has been so bad that I’ll take what I can get here. Just more or less a nothing match though as the rest of them have been but this at least had something close to a story to it. The whole tag match deal is just REALLY annoying though and I’m bored with it. Naturally there’s nearly an hour of it to go because WCW hates me.

Ric Flair/Steve Austin vs. 2 Cold Scorpio/Maxx Payne

Ok this HAS to be good right? Austin is about the level of Dolph Ziggler at this point and I’m pretty sure Flair is a face at this point, so expect more tension. BIG reaction for Flair. Austin cost Flair the world title about ten days ago. Well of course he did. Payne’s head looks a bit like Undertaker which is kind of weird to say.

Austin and Payne start us off here. Payne is a grunge rocker more or less with long black hair and metal band t-shirts. He can wrestle though, and we hear about Flair vs. Vader at Starrcade. The fans want Flair here, which is odd as less than 5 years later Austin would be the biggest star in the world. Scorpio comes in while Flair yells at Austin. For those of you that have never seen him, go find some of Scorpio’s early to mid 90s stuff as he’s incredibly fun to watch. Basically imagine Morrison with some meat on his bones and a lack of botches with the gimmick of just being awesome.

The future Stone Cold hits the floor and he still looks weird with a star on his tights. Flair comes in again and just owns all. We shift into a far more traditional and old school style of tagging with Flair and Austin making Scorpio the face in peril. Flair with old school heel tactics never gets old, but since he’s more or less a natural heel it doesn’t make him look evil. That makes no sense to me either so don’t try to make sense out of it.

Flair and Austin of course go at it which doesn’t last long. TEXTBOOK suplex by Flair. Just absolute perfection there. Austin with a top rope elbow of all things for two. He was a totally different wrestler once Hart broke his neck. In a stupid looking move, Scorpio just kind of falls down, sending Austin stumbling into the corner. Flair and Payne come in and Flair can’t do anything. A running knee in the corner misses and the Figure Four ends it to a big pop. That’s basic psychology and again it works.

Rating: B-. See, THIS is how you do one of these things. There was a simple story here of two guys making something work and just doing their thing on Scorpio while keeping the bigger and stronger guy out. This was a very simple style, but there is one important thing it had going for it: it worked. Best match BY FAR up to this point and likely of the whole show.

Rick Rude/Shanghai Pierce vs. Marcus Bagwell/Tex Slazenger

Tex is Mideon and Shanghai is Henry Godwin under a mask. Rude is the International World Champion here which in essence is the NWA Title without the NWA. Why do announcers welcome us to a show an hour and a half into it? Are they thinking we got here late or something? Tony points out that we have more wrestlers than spots left in matches, meaning we won’t have everyone called.

Rude is a rather interesting case as he was rarely more than a comedy upper midcard guy but in WCW he was sent to the moon and would have been the regular world champion had it not been for his career ending back injury. The future WWF Tag Champions come in but no one actually does anything as Rude is brought back in.

Rather boring match so far with little happening, but Bagwell plays a decent enough face in peril. He makes a comeback and this isn’t too bad. I can’t remember a quieter crowd in forever though, which is a really bad sign methinks. The commentary stops again which I never got the first time. It’s WCW though so basic errors like these are expected.

This crowd is absolutely silent. It’s almost creepy in a way. Rude and Bagwell go at it and we hit the chinlock because this match hasn’t died enough already. Tony tries to tell us how the crowd is awesome but you can hear the wrestlers calling spots because the people are so quiet. Rude sends Bagwell to the floor while he’s not legal as the crowd FINALLY moves a bit.

Pierce wants a boot from Rude as this is turning into something close to a tag match. It’s still boring but at least we’ve got something going here. The team of heels beat on Bagwell and this is just boring. They switch without a tag and hit a chinlock. This goes on for the better part of eternity until Bagwell makes his comeback. Pierce with a SWEET gutwrench sitout powerbomb. That makes this match not a failure on its own.

Tex makes the save and the crowd wakes up a bit for the showdown between these two. They actually fight and kind of go insane with it. And then Rude makes a blind tag and hits the Rude Awakening to end it. He’s the only guy that has ever made that move look awesome.

Rating: D-. Literally that powerbomb was the only thing that keeps this from being a failure. This match just was boring and nothing of note ever happened. There were about 10 minutes of chinlocks here as of course they decided to give this 15 minutes. Who thought that was a good idea? I mean really, The Godwins and Bagwell and Rude in a 15 minute match. Horrible match but dang that was a cool looking move. Naturally it didn’t get a pin but whatever.

Jesse says it’s too early to pick a winner as we go to our last pairings.

Hawk/Rip Rogers vs. Davey Boy Smith/Kole

Kole is Booker T and Rogers is basically the guy that made OVW mean something. He gets beaten up on the ramp by all three guys as no one liked him and he was a jobber. This basically starts off as Hawk vs. both guys as Davey starts for his team. They make sure we know they’re friends and here we go. They do a bunch of clean breaks and really don’t do much at all.

Test of strength is a standoff and Booker more or less demands a tag. Rogers has a fight with his jacket on the ramp as Booker comes in. I love the face Bulldog saying hey Hawk, I know you’re my friend but I’m going to let this other guy come in and beat on you for no apparent reason. Smith cheers for Hawk as he fights back. Booker with the Spinarooni about 5 years before that had a name.

Rogers finally gets up and Booker smacks him down. Yet again there’s a mini story here but the match isn’t much. You know Rogers’ team is going to win here so why even bother with the false pretense? We hit the chinlock as Smith cheers on Hawk again. And just as I expected, Hawk picks up Rogers and throws him at Booker who can’t kick out for the pin. This would be like Santino getting there.

Rating: D. It’s another comedy match with nothing at all happening as Hawk and Smith wouldn’t fight each other and Rogers was in the match all of 9 seconds. This show just needs to end now as this was just another 8 minute match with a stupid ending. At least it was just 8 minutes I guess.

Battlebowl

Cactus Jack, Vader, Johnny B. Badd, Brian Knobbs, Shockmaster, Paul Orndorff, King Kong, Dustin Rhodes, Sting, Jerry Sags, Steve Austin, Ric Flair, Ric Rude, Shanghai Pierce, Hawk, Rip Rogers

This is just a battle royal with 16 men in int. Yeah that’s all there is going on here. Just to waste time the guys don’t start coming out until after the announcements are done. Rogers can barely move after earlier. Hawk vs. Vader isn’t as much of a train wreck as you’d expect. I really don’t like watching these matches for reviews as there’s nothing to call. Rogers is out first.

We do the split screen for no apparent reason. Oh it’s to show Rogers going out. Pierce is out second. It’s a lot of filling time as we’re about two hours into the show at this point. Badd is out and Penzer kind of messes up the elimination. It comes out as “Johnny B Badd……eliminated…….from Battlebowl.” Just sounded weird but it’s BY FAR the most interesting thing at the moment.

People are literally just standing there waiting on anything to happen. Someone goes out but something tells me it doesn’t matter. Kong is out. Shockmaster is out. Oh apparently the other guy was Cactus. Orndorff is out. That was very rapid fire and we have like 9 left or so. Sting goes to the ramp but that’s not an elimination because I guess that’s not the planned elimination for Sting.

Yeah 9 left and I don’t really care enough to count them all. The worst part is that there is some awesome talent in there (Sting, Flair, Vader, Rude, Rhodes, Austin, Nasty Boys and Hawk, so 6/9 are at least good) and this is still horrible. Actually the Nasties and Hawk are at their best in brawls so they’re all good in this kind of match. And yet it’s still boring somehow.

Everyone just kind of brawls around and nothing is happening at all. Dustin and Austin head to the floor to fight it out a bit. Flair and Vader fight it out which gets NO reaction at all. Rhodes is busted as Austin is back in now. Austin beats on Rhodes as we kind of pair off. For no reason at all Sting/Hawk would get a tag title shot at Starrcade (in a match that went THIRTY MINUTES and ended in a DQ) so they fight for awhile.

The fans are dying more every second. Rhodes puts out the Nasties and Austin puts him out in like 4 seconds to get us down to six. Rude and Hawk are out too so it’s Austin, Sting, Flair and Vader. There’s a great tag match in there somewhere. Race pulls Flair to the ramp and they slug it out a bit which brings a small smile to my face. Naturally no one says anything about their epic rivalry but that might be interesting so we’ll steer clear of it.

Everyone leaves the ring to fight on the ramp for awhile. No one went over the top so they’re all still in. Stuff like this makes my head hurt as it makes the whole match just seem completely pointless. Vader hits Flair with a splash on the ramp and gets stretchered out to take him out of the match. Now logical booking would have him come back and make a big heroic win by throwing Vader out to build drama to Starrcade. How much do you want to bet that doesn’t happen and Vader wins clean?

Back in the ring Vader and Austin both go for top rope splashes on Sting but the only face left fights them both off. He does what would become known as a spear to Vader as the fans chant Whomp There it is for no apparent reason. Vader splashes the heck out of Sting to take him down. Lots of splashes follow but Sting finally gets away and slugs it out with Austin.

He makes the Superman comeback and the chant starts up again for no apparent reason. That lasts about 30 seconds as they beat on him some more. Vader hurts his back on a Vader Bomb. A corner splash misses and Sting throws Austin to the ramp. Vader knocks him over and Austin falls off the ramp to eliminate him. That’s something I’d book in OCW.

This leaves us with Vader vs. Sting, with the logical booking being give it to Sting I guess so my money is on Vader. Sting does the falling headbutt into the groin spot which is one of my favorites. He gets the always awesome fireman’s carry of Vader. Sting’s strength is always underrated. Sting misses the Splash though and falls out so Vader wins to end the show.

Rating: D. A boring battle royal to end a boring show. Isn’t that appropriate? This was just a weak match that went on FAR too long. A 16 man battle royal got nearly half an hour. At least with 91 they had two rings so the double elimination thing ate up some time. This was just boring on so many levels.

Overall Rating: F+. This show isn’t so much bad as much as it’s painfully boring. The idea is fine but the problem with it is that you need more than one decent tag match to end the show. For one thing the whole idea was partner vs. partner at times and other than that it was just awkward pairings that never got anything going whatsoever.

Also having Vader win is freaking stupid. The champion wins a big match like this? It was dumb when Hogan did it in the Rumble and it’s dumb here. Just a completely boring show that never went anywhere at all. This show was DYING for another match or two to flesh out the card so we didn’t have all these matches get 12+ minutes. Note to promoters: long does not necessarily mean good. Definitely not worth seeing.