Hardcore Justice Predictions

The show is tomorrow but I was really busy last night so I didn’t get this up.

TNA’s latest PPV offering is tomorrow with the main event being Angle vs. Sting.  With not much else going on, here are my thoughts:

I think Sting will hold onto the title, likely through some form of shenanigans.  They’ll try to have an epic match which will probably be a step beneath what they had intended.  Other than that, Daniels to join Immortal and new tag champions.  With nothing else of note on the show, any thoughts on it?




Smackdown – August 5, 2011 – Orton, Christian, Ryder and KB

Smackdown
Date: August 5, 2011
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

We have two more shows before Summerslam and this is the first of them. I’d expect a lot of build for Christian vs. Orton V and also some more from the midcard stuff that Smackdown has gotten good at. The big thing though is the freshly face Sheamus continuing Mark Henry. I’m giddy over that one. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Sheamus vs. Henry. The crowd popped huge in the arena for the line of “I’ll fight him.”

Sheamus vs. Great Khali

Here’s a test….kind of. I was confused at first because the tron video said Jinder Mahal, which would have surprised me. Josh immediately gets on my nerves by saying they’re on the campus of the University of Kentucky, which is flat out not true. The city owns Rupp Arena and it’s not on the campus. The only affiliation it has with UK is the basketball team plays there. Everyone makes that mistake that isn’t from here though so it’s understandable. For some reason it’s like they’re afraid to say Lexington.

Sheamus vs. Henry is announced for Summerslam. Khali takes him down quickly with the power game. Sheamus gets him tied up in the ropes so that Khali is facing the crowd and pounds away on the chest. He goes up top but gets chopped in the chest to send him back down to the floor. Time for a nerve hold since Khali isn’t that versatile in the ring, nor does he need to be.

Khali chops away in the corner and Sheamus fires off some double axes to the chest. Sheamus is all fires up but a chop to the head stops the Brogue Kick. It only gets two, despite being the finisher of a former world champion. Vice Grip goes on but Sheamus breaks that too. He elbows Khali in the ribs and the Brogue Kick hits for the pin at 5:22.

Rating: C. Yes it was kind of boring, but what are you expecting here? Khali is a giant and Sheamus is a power brawler. If they had done technical stuff or anything else, it wouldn’t make any sense and would probably be awful at the same time. Not sure what else to say here but this was fine.

The Rewind is Beth eliminating the Bellas and turning heel on Kelly. This was the Slam of the Week in the arena. No idea why they changed it.

AJ vs. Natalya

What an odd choice for a match. Commentary goes silent for some reason and until Josh says something about AJ being the Diva next door or something similar to that. AJ takes her down with a headlock and Natalya can’t figure her out. And never mind as a crucifix is countered into the Sharpshooter for the tap at 2:00. This was nothing.

Post match Nattie turns on AJ, beating her down and hitting a snap suplex on the floor. She says she’s with Beth: no more pretty princesses.

Ryder will be giving the State of the Showski later. The reaction to this is fake as the fans didn’t move for that graphic other than a few people.

Orton gets a big pop and we see a video from last week where Orton hit an RKO on Truth on the table and then a second to go with it. He’s not worried about Summerslam because he knows Christian can’t beat him clean.

Video on Justin Gabriel in South Africa. This is different from last week’s and it has more wrestling in it.

Tyson Kidd vs. Daniel Bryan

Barrett is on commentary. Bryan has new music which sounds like it’s out of a thriller movie trailer. Bryan’s pop was barely there when he came out. Some chain wrestling starts us off and Bryan does his moonsault out of the corner. Kidd is sent to the apron and then to the floor where Bryan hits a big dive through the ropes, shoving Kidd to the floor. Kidd gets a shot in on the knee and starts the attack on it.

Figure four around the post goes on and Bryan is in trouble. Barrett talks about how he doesn’t think Bryan is going to cash in. That makes sense as it would be surprising if he made it that far. We take a break and come back with Kidd working on the knee. I’m not sure if anything actually changed in that break so they might have just picked up immediately where they left off.

A quick leg lock goes on until Bryan starts his comeback. He goes up top but gets crotched instead. Cole and Barrett ramble about how much they hate Bryan. Good to see them talking about the match at all. Kidd hasn’t been talked about once. Bryan fights Kidd off the top and hits a missile dropkick but can’t follow up due to the knee.

He fires off some kicks but has to pause because of the pain, allowing Kidd to hit a (American) dragon screw leg whip and a half crab. Bryan escapes but can’t get the LeBell Lock. Pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere but Bryan gets all fired up and hammers away with forearms. BIG kick to the head sets up the guillotine choke and we’re done at 7:00. I timed the match at 7:45 live so we didn’t miss much at all.

Rating: B-. Solid match here that would have been better with more time. The just under 8 minutes wasn’t enough time to get going but Kidd has been able to put on some good stuff over the last few months and I’ve been liking him pretty well. Good stuff here and it’s the kind of win Bryan needs: physical, come from behind, submission wins.

Barrett and Bryan stare each other down post match. There’s a match teased but not officially announced.

State of the Showski is up next.

Here’s Ryder who got a small reaction but it was there. Ryder takes credit for the ratings going up because he’s the assistant GM. He says he’s going to change a lot of stuff but Big Zeke cuts him off. He got zero reaction at all. Zeke says Ryder must think he’s here to beat up Ryder for being in the handicap match last week. Jackson isn’t happy but Ryder says he thought they had an agreement.

They’re cut off by Cody’s music and here’s one half of the biggest rib in wrestling history (think about it: the sons of Dusty Rhodes were a metrosexual and whatever Goldust was. How could that not be a massive rib?) along with Ted who is in wrestling gear. Cody says Jackson has sour grapes and is unbecoming of a champion. He says Jackson is making the championship look bad so Cody should just take it from him and resurrect it, just like he’s resurrected Ted’s career.

Jackson says he’s merely using DiBiase. Cody says Ted has free will and Ted should come out and beat Jackson right now. That’s up to Ted and Ryder though. Ryder says cool but here’s Teddy (who got a surprisingly good reaction) to protest. Ryder is NOT the assistant GM but rather Teddy’s assistant. Teddy makes Ryder vs. Jackson for right now. Gee it’s a good thing they’re both in wrestling gear.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Zack Ryder

Cody and Ted are banned from ringside. Cole hates Ryder so I’m really not sure if he’s face or heel here. Ryder takes over and gets some kicks to the head. Front facelock doesn’t work at all and Jackson catches a middle rope cross body to start up the slams. Rack and we’re done at 2:30 with the tapping coming on Jackson’s head.

Teddy is in his office and here’s Aksana, now with long black hair and a leather suit. There’s bad romantic sounding music in the background. She wants to talk business with him so he gives her one of his cards. She asks for his personal number which he gives to her. That was rather odd.

Mark Henry is up next.

At this point the show stopped taping and HHH came to the ring and talked about having stress. Ryder was still in the ring and HHH got in some one liners about various wrestlers. He asked the crowd if they could keep a secret and dropped Ryder with a Pedigree. Awesome moment and the pop of the night.

Mark Henry vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Vlad fires away but can’t really get anywhere. He manages the trapping headbutts but Henry remembers that he’s a monster heel and plants Kozlov with the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 1:15.

Post match he Pillmanizes Kozlov’s leg, which explains him leaving since Kozlov was released today. Sheamus comes out late for the save with a chair. Henry bails, not wanting to fight until Summerslam. Kozlov goes out on a stretcher.

After a break Sheamus says that Henry isn’t just beating people but rather is taking their ability and will to do what they love. That won’t happen to Sheamus though because no one can take away his passion to compete here. There are many reasons but the biggest is because he’s Irish, which means he has the Luck of the Irish. The following is a near direct quote of the next few things he says: “And that means I was born with a 24 karat horseshoe up me arse. And if need be I can rip that horseshoe out and leave hoofprints on him.” Oh and Henry is a whale that belongs in the ocean with Shamu.

Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga/JTG vs. Trent Barreta/Uso Brothers

The Usos do their rhythmic dance thing. Remember when they were all sophisticated or whatever it was? Jey vs. JTG to start us off. Off to McGillicutty and then Otunga rather quickly. And now let’s talk about what the announcers are tweeting at ringside. Apparently Booker said Cole is a tool. Jimmy is getting beaten down at the moment and there isn’t much else to say as far as the match goes. Hot tag to Trent who is someone I’d like to see more of. Everything breaks down and the champions hit that elbow drop/backbreaker combo to end Baretta at 3:43.

Rating: D+. Just a six man here and nothing interesting at all. I have no idea why Baretta and JTG of all people got picked. They’re not bad or anything but why them? Anyway this was fine but the Usos need to get their title shot already, hopefully winning the titles. I’ve liked them recently and some fresh champions would be nice.

Johnny Curtis sees the writing on the wall and will be in action next week.

Raw ReBound is about the Cena vs. Punk vs. HHH moments from Raw and how the match at Summerslam was made.

Christian says he isn’t surprised that the match with Orton is now no holds barred. Everyone has been on Orton’s side. Truth pops up to say it was a conspiracy. He says not to let the Little Jimmys fool him and that tonight Orton is gonna get got. Christian still doesn’t know who Little Jimmy is.

Randy Orton/John Morrison vs. R-Truth/Christian

When did Morrison lose his pyro? Oh ok that part wasn’t on the broadcast. Kind of surprised they didn’t have that for the live crowd though. Orton and Truth start us off and Truth hammers him down into the corner. Morrison comes in and Truth runs so he can tag in the Canadian. There’s that big spinning springboard kick for two.

Christian takes him down though and it’s off to the coward crazy R-Truth. Suplex into the Stunner is countered (called that move by Booker) and Morrison goes all angry JoMo on him, hitting the running knee for two. Christian breaks it up and Orton chases him to the floor and into the crowd where we take a break. Back with Morrison and Truth hammering away on each other. During the break Orton stared Christian down a lot while the other two laid down in the ring.

Truth works on the neck which is logical. Good thing that when he went nuts he didn’t lose his wrestling psychology. Christian comes in and gets a neckbreaker for two. Have one of those ever broken a neck? Middle rope headbutt misses but Christian is smart enough to take Orton out before John can make the tag. Truth comes in and does a little dance which makes it look like he wants to make a little love to Orton.

Morrison comes out of nowhere with the C4 to put both himself and Truth down. Hot tag brings in Orton and the fans are all fired up. Powerslam puts Christian down and Orton gets a jackknife cover for two. Killswitch is blocked into the backbreaker for two. Orton grabs a rollup out of the corner for two. Christian hits a spinebuster that Booker calls a sidewalk slam. Spear misses but Christian avoids the RKO.

Instead Orton gets him in punting position but Truth and Morrison come back in. Morrison sends him to the floor and dives out onto him. Christian jumps Orton but gets caught in the elevated DDT. Truth comes in and takes the RKO but Christian grabs the Killswitch and pins Orton 11:55 shown of what I thought was closer to 20 minutes but whatever.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot as the ending was rather intricate with all of the spots intertwining very well. The whole point of this was to make it clear that Christian could get the pin on Orton in what you could call a clean method and that’s what he did here. This worked well and was a solid main event that did a few things well. Good stuff.

Overall Rating: B. This was a moving day episode of Smackdown. Not a lot actually happened here but a lot of stuff for the future was set up. You can see most of Summerslam now which you could only see pieces of a week ago at this time. The stuff that we got was pretty good and the show is shaping up pretty well. Also Aksana being back with those abs of her is never a bad thing.

Results

Sheamus b. Great Khali – Brogue Kick

Natalya b. AJ – Sharpshooter

Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd – Guillotine Choke

Ezekiel Jackson b. Zack Ryder – Torture Rack

Mark Henry b. Vladimir Kozlov – World’s Strongest Slam

David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty/JTG b. Uso Brothers/Trent Barreta – Elbow drop/backbreaker combination to Barreta

Christian/R-Truth b. Randy Orton/John Morrison – Killswitch to Orton




History of Summerslam Count-Up: Summerslam 2002 – Best Summerslam Ever

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

Another year and more changes have occurred. The main one is simple: the Brand Split. Yes, Raw and Smackdown are now two separate shows etc. However, there is an Undisputed World Champion and his name is the Rock. He’s defending tonight against the greatest rookie sensation of all time: Brock Lesnar. No one had EVER seen anything like Brock and they likely never will. He took the company and the business by storm, winning the shot by beating RVD in the KOTR final.

There were even rumblings that he could actually win the title tonight but that could never happen. What a silly idea. Your other main event is the return of HBK, facing HHH in what is considered a classic. This show is considered to be a rival to Wrestlemania 17 as the greatest WWF PPV of all time, or at least of the new millennium. Now I watched this show a few months after it aired and I remember it being good but not great. Let’s see if this is as good as it’s built up to be.

Oh also, two months prior to this, a new branch of the National Wrestling Alliance debuted: NWA: TNA.

Oh it’s also WWE now.

No opening video this year. That kind of sucks.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

No real buildup here other than they don’t like each other. Given the amount of matches that they have to put together now, that’s the sacrifice that they had to make I suppose. Angle is wearing red and white stripes with a blue star, making him look like a barber pole. This was back when Rey’s knees weren’t falling apart yet and was close to what he was in WCW, which is to say, amazing. This is about as perfect of a pairing as you could want.

Rey is fast enough to wrestle with heavyweights, while Kurt is small enough and versatile enough to keep up with him. Going for Rey’s ankle makes sense as it could ground him and take away his best asset, so what’s not to like? My answer: nothing. This has been a very  good match so far. The fans are very hot for this too so that’s always a perk. Rey keeps getting closer and closer here but Angle keeps getting up.

What you have to keep in mine here is that at the time, Rey wasn’t a huge star like he is now. He was a rookie that only had a handful of experience outside of the cruiserweight ranks. Think of him like a better Evan Bourne and think of Angle like Jericho. Imagine Bourne and Jericho opening a PPV and Bourne getting so close every time but just not being able to put Jericho away, but Jericho can’t win either. That’s where you get this match.

These guys are killing each other out there and it’s great, as neither can put the other away. Rey gets Angle on the floor but the referee won’t let him dive. Rey says screw it and jumps over the referee and lands on Angle in a sweet looking front flip (Do a barrel roll!).

619 (which in WCW wasn’t an attack but rather a fake out) and West Coast Pop get two as Rey doesn’t know what to do. Rey goes up top and flips forward to avoid Kurt and goes for a hurricanrana. Angle more or less jumps forward and grabs the ankle. He goes to the middle and just cranks on it until Rey taps.

Rating: A+. Awesome match. That’s the only way to describe this. These two just went out there and did it. This was back when Rey was relatively healthy before his knees just got destroyed. He’s still good now, but back then he was insane. Rey in WCW was the most fun I’ve ever had watching a wrestler.

If you think Bourne is good, Rey from back then would run circles around him. This was as close as Rey ever got to that in WWE, and it was great. Find this match and watch it as it’s absolutely great. Screw it, this gets an A+.

Stephanie is mad that Bischoff is in her office but she agrees to share it with him for the night, as she proves she just can’t act. She does have nice legs though.

Ross and Lawler are talking about the show, but for some reason they had them really far away from the ring back then. It made no sense to me and just looked odd.

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Again, no backstory. We get a clip from them fighting on Raw, including Flair breaking all of Fozzy’s equipment, but it’s never explained why they’re fighting in the first place. This was when Flair was still fairly mobile and not all old and disturbing looking. He was only 52 and still could be decent in the ring. Being in there with Jericho is going to help as Jericho can wrestle Flair’s style, and is smart enough to know how to wrestle a Flair match.

See, Flair is considered one of the best of all time because he knew what he did best and it worked with anyone. Flair had a formula, and all he had to do was plug his opponent into that formula for the majority of the match and then have the finish. This was exactly what he did throughout his career in WCW and it hardly ever failed. Yes, Flair’s matches are pretty standard, but they’re also pretty good. I mean his stuff from when he was in his prime mind you.

Go back and watch some of that stuff from the NWA in the mid to late 80s and tell me if you can find a truly bad match. Now not everything is going to be a classic of course, but he hardly ever had a truly bad match. On the rare occasions that he did, it was because the other guy wanted to run the style of the match, which traditionally meant Dusty Rhodes. Rhodes was notorious for insisting on having his style of match, which worked for him and him alone.

Go watch their Starrcade matches and you’ll see what I mean. It’s just not looking like a normal Flair match and it just isn’t that good. Granted, this could be because Dusty just was awful in the ring as he couldn’t go for more than 5 minutes without resting. He was lazy on a snapmare in that match. It’s one of the most basic moves in wrestling and he’s lazy with it.

Anyway, the point of this rant was that at the end of the day, the reason Flair’s stuff was bad near the end of his career was the matches stopped playing to his strengths and became based on what the other guy could do. Flair made a career out of taking a guy that was good and making him great by making him look great.

Look at Sting. He was a good wrestler, but his rivalry with Flair is where he got noticed, because Flair made him look great. In WWE, Vince didn’t let this happen and it caused Flair to look bad and the guys that were against Flair didn’t look as good as they could have.

Ok, rant over at least for now. Once I get going in those things I just can’t stop. For some reason we don’t have Flair’s normal music. It’s the weird imitation that he had back in 92. We’re a minute into this match and they’re already talking about how he beat Rock and Austin in one night. My goodness that is never going to leave. It’s a huge deal but good grief let it die. The WOOS are loud tonight.

This is a stat that blew me away. Jericho has been around for a LONG time right? He was 2 when Flair debuted. That’s just ridiculous. Flair has been wrestling almost as long as Jericho, a veteran at this point, had been alive. Jericho calls a spot to Flair in fairly obvious fashion. He just leans over and whispers it to him. It’s scary to think that Flair, at 52, has miles better cardio than most of the roster in their 20s and 30s. This match has been very physical to say the least.

There are so many little things that Flair does that show why he’s great. It’s not a bunch of big impressive moves with a few botches here or there. It’s a simple, basic style that has practically zero mistakes in it. In other words, it’s not about what he’s doing well. It’s about what he’s not doing wrong. Then the little things like getting the referee looking somewhere else to use a bunch of punches. He plays to the crowd well too.

How sad is it that so many people today would be clueless about how to do this? We get a cool sequence where Flair goes for the Boston Crab and Jericho gets a figure four, showing how fairly stupid it is to have finishers like that which almost anyone can do. That’s why I like the liontamer, the one with the knee in the back, more. No one else uses it. Apparently over time the amount of points that the figure four puts pressure on has gone from 5 in Gordon Solie’s days to 7 now.

In a brilliant move, Flair grabs the ropes and taps. The thing is, since the hold should be broken, the submission can’t count. That’s a very smart thing to do as it buys him a lot of time. Referee gets a thumb in the eye, or maybe a short knee (rep for the first person that gets what I’m talking about) allowing Flair to low blow Jericho and put on the figure four. Anyone think it’s a bit sexual looking when Flair bounces up and down while in it? Yeah I never thought that either. Jericho taps.

Rating: B. While not as good as the other match, this was still very solid. As good as Flair is though, I’m not sure I’m sold on him practically beating Jericho, who was world champion earlier in the year, clean. It was a very good match with Flair being the better of the two, but still, it just had me kind of wondering.

Promo for Hogan DVD.

Heyman is with Lesnar and talks about him ending Hogan’s career. Lesnar is a freaking tank.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Dang 3 matches and 6 world champions. Again, very limited backstory here as they just don’t have the time to do it. As awesome as Edge’s old music was, he desperately needs something more hardcore at this point. He’s rocking the glasses and the trench coat though so you can see the future Edge trying to get out. However, in less than 6 months he’d be out for over a year, so that kind of got put on hold.

Apparently Eddie is upset about Edge being popular and a sex symbol (really?). That’s almost creepy given who Edge would be married to on WWE TV. Just as I say that about Edge’s injury, he might have gotten hurt. He has a bit of a stinger according to Tazz, who would know something about having a Steve Borden. If he is hurt, Eddie doesn’t seem to care at all.

In case you didn’t know, Edge is a HUGE face here and way over with the crowd. Apparently it’s Edge’s shoulder….er neck…..maybe shoulder…..can the commentators make up their freaking minds?? Either way, Eddie is crushing him right now. Eddie is just going insane on Edge’s shoulder, so if nothing else we have a simple story going on that works really well. If nothing else, how can Edge spear someone if his shoulder is killing him without hurting himself really badly?

The main thing of this match is nothing more than Eddie working over the shoulder. Frog Splash misses but after a brief Edge comeback including the Impaler, Eddie hits a splash down onto the shoulder. Of course, because he’s the charismatic face though, Edge is able to spear Eddie without his arm falling off for the pin.

Rating: C+. The ending just ruined this for me. I got into Eddie’s shoulder work, but then when Edge more or less no sold it at the end, it was a total waste in my eyes. What’s the point in working an injury and taking away a guy’s finishing move if the other guy is just going to no sell it and use his move anyway? That was just bad and made me shake my head, which sucks as the match was pretty good.

Tag Titles: UnAmericans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Now this was a gimmick that I thought was very solid. Christian and Lance Storm represent the UnAmericans here, with Test being the third member of the trio. In short: they don’t like America. They were given the tag titles but very soon after this the gimmick was just completely dropped. I’ve never quite gotten why though. Either way, the odd thing here was that Booker and Goldust were also a team, yet they have absolutely nothing in common.

Hearing the announcers try to give them something in common really is quite funny. The fact that they’re both from Texas never really seemed to sink in. Either way, they were a fairly decent team, albeit they were far more comedic than serious, but Booker would be pushed towards the title picture soon and then put into a serious team with RVD, so all is good I suppose.

Anyway, on with the match. Hearing Lawler try desperately to make Booker and Goldust pro-America is rather interesting, as he compares them to the Great American Melting Pot without ever referring to it as such. The USA chants are really loud to say the least, so if nothing else the heels are drawing heat like they’re supposed to be. Ross’ repetition is nothing short of annoying.

Goldust hits a Bossman Slam as I try to come up with a connection between those two and it’s not working. We get a classic ref didn’t see the tag spot which needs to be done more often. It’s as simple of a way to draw heat as there is in a tag match. This crowd is HOT. Booker gets his own chant as he’s clearly the big star in this match. We knew he was a big deal, but they didn’t push him as such until March, when he was fed to HHH.

Oddly enough, HHH had everyone on the planet fed to him until tonight when he let Shawn, his old buddy, have a classic with him. It’s not like these jokes have no basis in reality, but I’ll save that rant for later…maybe. Anyway, Booker finally gets the hot tag to a huge pop. He throws chops at Christian so fast that the crowd can’t WOO fast enough. That’s actually pretty impressive.

Booker hits his missile dropkick which would have won him the world title in WCW but since this is the WWF and Christian is for some reason popular, he kicks out at two. It always amazes me how a finishing move can just lose its power over the course of a year. Booker spins up as Mark Madden gets another ego boost.

The faces dominate for a good while until Test runs out and kicks Booker’s head off to keep the titles for the heels. On replay, we see the referee looking right at Test leaving as Booker is left lying. Yeah that makes sense. The Smackdown tag titles would be debuted in about two months.

Rating: C-. This was about as cookie cutter of a match as you could have imagined. While it’s ok, it’s just ok. Booker and Goldust would eventually get the titles later on in January for all of two weeks. It wasn’t bad, but just not great.

Nidia does some stupid thing at the World, which is the new name for WWF New York.

Eric and Stephanie make some stupid sex jokes.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. RVD

This is cross promotional, so we have two announcers which is both kind of cool and kind of stupid. Benoit and Eddie have been jumping rosters lately, going from Raw where he won the title to Smackdown. The US Title on Smackdown was about a year away at this point, so there was only the midcard title on Smackdown. Van Dam kicks the freaking heck out of Benoit to start, so you know this is going to be physical to say the least.

This was a weird time for these two as Van Dam was kind of replacing Angle in the triad of the midcard. You always had Benoit and Jericho, but Angle was always a step ahead of those two, and eventually as he was phased up into the main event, Van Dam was thrown into the middle of the card more or less as an experiment and I’d say that it was a success. Frog splash misses and Benoit gets the crossface, which he locks on for about 30 seconds.

No tap though as we’re really just getting going. Over the course of the next 5 minutes or so, Benoit gets another two crossfaces on Van Dam who STILL doesn’t tap as we’re entering HBK at Mania 12 territories of not giving up. In a nice touch of comedy (in my eyes at least), Van Dam locks in the crossface, at least I think that’s what it is although he never was one for submission holds, on Benoit.

This lasts all of 4 seconds though as Benoit is the master of it so why wouldn’t he be able to get out of it? I’m not wild on the two matches with focus on the shoulder like this, but in this case it makes much more sense with Benoit’s finisher focusing on the shoulder. I guess with Eddie and Edge it made sense due to some psychology being thrown in, but I’m still not wild about it at all.

In something I never once remember seeing before, Van Dam’s hair tie comes undone and his hair is freely flowing. I’ve never seen that before and I really don’t like it. He looks almost like Tyler Reks with it like that, which works fine for the surfer, but it just doesn’t look right on Robbie V. I’m thinking I forgot a Ross joke here. That’s going to bother me now. The ending here is just not that great.

Benoit has a belly to back suplex countered as Van Dam rolls over onto him and lands in kind of a cross body/splash. In a very nice looking move, Van Dam looks down at Benoit from the top rope with Benoit’s feet pointing to him. He turns in the air and lands a Five Star for the pin and the title. Really not huge on that ending, as it’s just kind of there. There’s not a lot of drama as Van Dam just jumps up and hits the splash and pins him. However, a guy winning a title clean is a very refreshing thing to see. There was no interference or anything. Van Dam simply countered and hit his finishing move to get the pin. That’s both good and bad I guess, but the rest of the match was good so I’ll take it.

Rating: B. This was very intense and well done. It’s probably Van Dam’s biggest win of his career up to that point and is probably one of the biggest of his career even to this day, with the world title obviously being ahead of it. He beat Benoit, one of the best ever, clean. If that’s not validation of his ability at least on one night, I don’t know what is. Very good match though and worth checking out.

Stephanie, with those gorgeous legs showing very well, before laughing for no apparent reason at Bischoff bragging. Not sure what this led to, but it might have been the US Title. Actually that’s not it, as the IC Title would soon be unified with the world title, in one of the biggest head scratchers of all time. It would be revived about 8 months later when everyone realized how truly stupid it was, and THAT would bring about the US Title.

We’re getting ready for Test and the Undertaker. JR says a lot of people want to know who the UnAmericans are, why they’re here, and why they’re doing this. In short: Lance Storm, Christian and Test, they’re professional wrestlers and TNA was a baby at this time and since Vince had more or less created a monopoly there was nowhere else to work, and they’re Canadians that don’t like Americans. Why is that such a complicated thing to figure out?

The UnAmericans carry around an upside down American flag to symbolize how messed up America is. That’s either brilliant or really stupid. They keep saying they hate America, so the American wants to beat up Test. On a side note, William Regal would join them later on. Taker’s punches were called soup bones for no apparent reason around this time, as JR continues to get further and further away from this lovely little thing called reality.

Oh yeah we’re in the Tough Enough era here and Tough Enough 3 was going on. The winner of that was one John Hennigan. You may know him as John Morrison. The other winner was named Matt Cappotelli, and while you may not have heard of him, I was lucky enough to see him in OVW.

He was absolutely awesome and I can guarantee you of this: he would have been either as big a star as Morrison or far bigger. The guy had that X factor to him and you knew he would have been something very special. His retirement speech almost had me in tears. I wish I could find a copy of it.

Undertaker vs. Test

You won’t hear this, but JR says that Test has been living on nothing but potential forever. How true that is of so many workers today. This is part of the UnAmericans vs. everyone else so Taker busts out a hiptoss of all things as he dominates early. The big clothesline hits but Old School is blocked to let Test take over.

Test’s fairly generic big man offense takes over. This is rather slow paced and not very interesting. Taker gets a belly to belly to get out of most of the trouble but an elbow misses. They slug it out which of course Taker wins which lets him get a running DDT for two. Old School connects and the bigger man is in control.

Test’s big boot misses and a chokeslam gets two which is probably the high point of Test’s career. Christian and Storm run in which gets them nowhere. It does however allow Test to get his big boot for two as Test PANICS since the one solid move he knows did nothing at all. He grabs a chair but it gets kicked into his own ugly face and a Tombstone ends it. That was a rarity at this point so it was cool to see. He celebrates with the flag afterwards.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good. It was certainly more about the angle than the match, and while there are occasions that I’ll make exceptions for that such as Hogan vs. Andre, this isn’t one of those occasions. It’s just not good as their styles were too similar and while Taker is good enough, Test just didn’t care at this point and it shows. Solid angle, bad match, as Test just wasn’t in Taker’s league, ever.

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Taker is just now leaving, so that was an extended celebration I guess.

We start the build for what I think (and yes it’s very debatable) was your real main event. Shawn hasn’t wrestled in over 1600 days. That’s a lot of sleepless nights for Becca. Lawler says that a lot of these people have never seen Shawn wrestle, which means that a lot of people have never heard of home video obviously, or Lawler thinks it’s 1940 and there’s no such thing as taping a match.

In case you’ve never heard it, here’s the basic build for this match. Shawn and HHH were in DX together as you likely know. However, Shawn got hurt and HHH took over DX and became the star that he is today. Now, in the Summer of 2002, Shawn came back for a night, unbeknownst to us, healthy and sober. That night, it seemed to be all about Shawn again, which was unfair to HHH who had actually had a more successful career as far as title reigns and time on top than Shawn had.

That night, Shawn came up with the idea of reforming DX (I want that man shot) and HHH went along with it, or at least he did in the beginning. They do the two words line, but then HHH kicks him and pedigrees him. You can tell this is serious because it goes into slow motion. HHH hits a very weird pedigree as he jumps way too high and it looks like Shawn was countering it with a backdrop.

Anyway, HHH says that Shawn used HHH to get to the top, so now HHH used Shawn to get to the top, which makes even less sense but whatever. Now this is the part of the storyline that I never understood. HHH is cutting the promo in the ring where he says all of that stuff. Ok, that’s fine. A guy gets his attention and says that something happened.

HHH bolts from the ring and goes off to find a bunch of guys around Shawn who is laid out on the ground bleeding and there’s a hole in the window of a car. HHH says he’ll find who did it and when he does, that person is a marked man. Shawn comes back a few weeks later for a satellite interview, and he has the footage from the security camera, and naturally it’s HHH. As I’ve said many times, what’s the point?

For one thing, why wouldn’t it have been HHH? He’s cutting a promo about how he can’t stand Shawn, and since Shawn has been back for all of 2 weeks, why wouldn’t it have been him? Seriously, who else was it supposed to have been? Why wouldn’t they have just shown it being him, maybe ending the show like that, and THEN have the interview where Shawn challenges him for Summerslam? HHH says that he did it to prove a point, which was that Shawn is vulnerable.

Ok, that’s all well and good, but WHY WOULD HE GO ON A FREAKING MANHUNT IF HE DID IT? That makes no sense! What’s the point in turning him heel one week, turning him face for two weeks, and THEN revealing him to be the mastermind for lack of a better term, thus turning him heel all over again? It’s just pure overkill and was absurd. ANYWAY, Shawn says that he’ll be completely recovered by Summerslam. So let me get this straight.

Shawn couldn’t get better from a broken back, which is something that could have paralyzed him, in four and a half years, but if you cut him on the head he’ll recover in less than a month? Are you telling me that all Shawn had to do to completely be healed was cut himself shaving? If that’s the case, Becca might have a fit. This match is non-sanctioned, which Bischoff says means that it never happens. HHH says the logical thing: Oh Eric, but it will happen.

See, that’s my issue with matches that never happen. YES THEY DID! When you erase something from the record books, people still remember the matches themselves. That’s why taking down banners for basketball games or erasing wins is freaking stupid. The games were played, and therefore we’re going to remember who won, who lost, by how much, and what kind of shoes they were wearing.

The match not only happened, it happened in a WWE ring, on a WWE PPV, had WWE commentators and had a WWE referee, but people know who freaking won it! The match DID happen, so what’s the point in saying it’s non-sanctioned? If it was non-sanctioned, then this would be happening in a parking lot somewhere instead of in front of 14,000 people. Since it’s not an official match, why is HHH in wrestling gear?

Does he wear that in his everyday life? Is there constantly a referee following him around to check and see if he wants to go for a pin? Does he think he’s Nighthawk and that he’s competing to become Champion of Wrestling (OCW joke for those of you that have NO clue what I mean)? Are you starting to see how stupid this really is? Just call it what it is: a WWE street fight. It sounds better, it looks better, and above all else: IT MAKES SENSE!!!

They get a full music video before the match here, which actually does show off how great of a match this could be. HHH’s line of “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE ANYMORE!” while as corny as it sounds, actually tells the whole story here in just four words.

That’s the sign of a good promo: it sums up everything simply, without having to use a big elaborate bunch of words to fill in time. All that being said though, the buildup had you actually believing that something special was coming, and for those of you that have seen it, you know that it is. For those of you that haven’t, be ready to enjoy.

HHH vs. HBK

Before I begin, one note that I’m likely to forget. In an interview that HHH gave about Shawn and this match in particular, he says that this was a 45 minute match. From what I’ve seen, it clocks in at about 27-30. That’s a far cry from 45 if my math is correct, but I digress. To say the pop for HBK’s music is massive would be like saying Hogan was a little over.

The flashbulbs are going off all over the place as this is actually a very epic moment. It’s not like Shawn was doing nothing when he left. He was wrestling in the main event at a major show as the world champion and he retained. It’s fairly obvious that he would have gotten at least a rematch with Austin at Backlash and likely have been champion again somewhere down the road. However, it’s likely that his addictions would have caused major problems.

Geez I need to stop these tangents. He gets the mega star treatment which he deserves, including pyro, confetti, etc. He’s actually looking like it’s a non-sanctioned fight, wearing an undershirt and jeans. His shirt says Philippians 4:13, which for you football geeks is what Tim Tebow has on his eye black in every games. For those of you that don’t know who that is, watch some real football, not that nonsense they play in Europe and find out.

For those of you that have no idea what it means, it’s a Bible verse that reads “For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” That makes a lot of sense for this match. Usually I want the face to come out last and get the big pop, but here I think it’s better that Shawn came out first. Also, Lawler says that no one in history has had more charisma than Shawn.

Not sure about that King. I’m thinking of a guy in red and yellow. He posed a lot, kind of made wrestling what it is today. In an odd fact that you may not know, the man who wears red and yellow, despite many tries, has never once beaten Jerry Lawler by pinfall. They fought dozens of times, but Lawler never lost cleanly to him. SCREW these tangents!

HHH gets the booing to end all booing. You have to keep in mind: HHH is at about the level here that he’s at today, so it’s not like Shawn was coming back to fight Dolph Ziggler or someone like that. He was taking on one of the very best. Shawn is all calm here, even doing the lay on the rope like a hammock thing. I really like that actually, as it plays to Shawn’s laid back persona that he had when he was at his peak.

If he was all serious and angry that would have made sense too, but I think this actually works a bit better. Shawn starts fast, throwing his PERFECT towel in HHH’s face and punching him. Apparently this is due to his Texas pride. What in the world does Texas pride have to do with this? He jumped him. Isn’t that being a bit cowardly actually? Why am I trying to make sense of something JR said?

Shawn starts by throwing punches for the most part, but within two minutes he launches over the top rope with a plancha, followed by more punches. That’s a very smart idea actually. Shawn has been out of the ring for four and a half years. It’s not like he’s going to be the Shawn that was wrestling just before the injury. He’s going to have a lot of ring rust, so punching makes sense.

Also, it’s a good safety advertisement for kids and adults. Since this isn’t an actual match, it’s not actual wrestling right? Therefore, Shawn not doing a lot of wrestling moves is showing that people shouldn’t try this at home. Now it’s ok to punch someone’s head in, but don’t try to slam them. We get weapons brought in, namely the trashcan of death, as JR talks about Shawn’s son watching at home.

There’s a great parenting lesson: if you’re ever possibly walking into a match where you have little to no chance of winning and could be paralyzed because your pride got in the way of your thinking, make sure your kids are watching, because it could be your only chance to look good for them. Sweet Chin Music misses and HHH lands a backbreaker, which Shawn sells like death, opening the main psychology of this match, which was to be expected.

You know, you’d think that after four and a half years his back would be a bit better. Oh, Lawler has used vintage four times inside of 5 minutes. I wonder if that’s where Cole got it. You can almost see the Harley Race coming out of HHH already as he looks just pure evil. Ross says that WWE has nothing to do with this match as I am fighting from rehashing what I said earlier.

Chair is brought in and cracked over Shawn’s back, but since he has HEART, he can kick out of what would pin others, despite it being his weakest point. JR says HHH is 6’4 and a half and weighs 260, despite him being listed as 272 just 8 minutes ago. I feel like I’m watching a Captain Planet parody with all these heart references. DDT on a chair which should have crippled someone but he kicks out with ease, but he’s bleeding.

Lawler says this match may have been the biggest mistake of Shawn’s career. He hung out with Luna, so that’s a big negative there King. HHH gets the sledgehammer as Shawn fights him off. HHH goes for an abdominal stretch which I’m sure has Gorilla Monsoon complaining in his grave. HHH grabs the rope, which I’m still trying to figure out how that actually adds anything to the hold.

Earl Hebner yells at HHH about it and you can tell he means business because he has a mic on him, but keep in mind: this IS NOT a real match. Shawn gets crotched on the top rope as a little bit of Becca’s soul dies. Another chair shot to the back would normally end anyone else’s career, but SHAWN HAS HEART! I know I’ve made fun of a lot of this, but this match really has been good.

I’m rarely a person that can pick out specific things a guy does in a match, but even I can tell that HHH is a master heel. They do a spot where HHH sets up a chair and Shawn is side slammed through it. If it broke then it hurts horribly, and if it doesn’t break then it hurts like the 7th circle of torment. We get probably the 5th spot that would kill anyone else, but Shawn has….screw it even I’m getting tired of that joke.

JR says Shawn is limp. I’m sure Becca could fix that. Ok I’ll try to keep the Becca jokes to a minimum now. Shawn starts his comeback in his comeback match by countering the pedigree. The fans are white hot here, even 15 minutes into this. From out of nowhere, Shawn gets Sweet Chin Music into a chair but Shawn is spent, which makes sense. The psychology is definitely here, as it’s always nice to have guys that actually know how to work the mental side of a match as these two do. HHH is busted.

Ok, now this is just getting ridiculous. Shawn has had maybe 5 moves that would have ended any match with ease, including a DDT on a chair, and 5 minutes later he’s fine? Even Hulk Hogan thinks that’s a bit much to swallow from Shawn. Becca says…never mind. All of a sudden Shawn is limping around again, so I guess I can buy the adrenaline excuse. JR calls the chair shot a Jason Giambi like swing which makes me laugh. Of all the power hitters in history he picks him?

The commentators have a crazy idea: Shawn could win. I get that this is supposed to be his last hurrah, but is it that hard to believe? Ok yes it would have been at the time. The fans want tables, so HHH is put on the most famous one of all time: The Portuguese Announce Table! In a weird spot, Shawn pulls the shoe from one of the commentators, which Lawler says is a heel for a heel as I can’t believe he still has a job at this point.

You can say heel but you can’t say belt or strap? It’s ladder time. DAng why can’t it be wiggle time? HHH gets a solid shot right in the hand with it. In case you didn’t know, this is non-sanctioned. Did you know it’s non-sanctioned? I just want to make it clear that this is non-sanctioned. And last but not least, it’s non-sanctioned. HHH busts out a baseball slide as two things happen: he uses a new move so screw you HHH haters, and I am WAY past my record for talking about one match.

You can tell this is a big match as HHH goes up top. Shawn gets a weird float around sunset flip but he shoves himself off at two because the spot looks bad if HHH kicks out on his own. JR randomly throws in how evil HHH is. That is yet another example of why I love professional wrestling. Where else could someone try to cripple you but just a few years later you’re best friends again and fighting on PPV together?

That must have been one heck of a Christmas card that HHH sent him. “Hey man, sorry about that whole wanting you in a wheelchair thing and the attempted manslaughter. Next time we hit Waffle House, you can get a Coke on me.” Drop toehold into the stairs for HHH and we actually get a realistic looking impact. Why are tables such a big deal? It’s not like they’re that deadly.

Wouldn’t it actually break the fall a bit as you have less time in freefall? Shawn comes off with a splash from the top to the floor with a table, which is just cool looking no matter how long he’s been out. The holy crap chants have started, which is fine as this match is awesome. Correction: this match is greatness. There is a difference. The odd thing about that though is that this is really just an extended hardcore match with big names.

They’re hardly doing anything revolutionary, yet the match certainly is great. I think that goes to show just how awesome both of these guys are. They’re taking stuff that we’ve seen dozens of times before but by using storytelling and style, they’re making it look better than ever. Shawn lands the Screw You elbow and bounces up. The old school stomping on the mat clues HHH in to what’s coming and it’s countered into the Pedigree, but Shawn rolls him up to shock the world and win the match.

Normally I would have been for the Sweet Chin Music and the clean pin, but with that we can’t have what follows: HHH drilling him in the back with the hammer to become Satan incarnate. He then does it AGAIN to make Satan look like a baby bunny named Lucy.

Lawler is absolutely losing it in some of the best commentary I’ve ever seen. Ross sounds like any other heinous act, but Lawler is probably at his best ever here. The fans are chanting for HBK, but since he’s not Hulk Hogan, he can’t get up. Shawn is stretchered out as the fans are almost dead silent.

Rating: A+. Holy crap this was awesome. You have to remember, Shawn hadn’t done a freaking thing in nearly 5 years. This would be like Austin coming back and stealing the show and having one of the best matches of his life. Both guys were so on here that it’s not even funny.

Norcal says it’s in the top 5 matches of all time and I’m not sure I can disagree. I might not rank it that high, but dang it was fun. Easily one of the best I’ve ever seen and if you haven’t seen it before, turn the lights out and watch it right now. It’s certainly worth the 30 (not 45 HHH) minutes.

Ok, now I have to bring this up because it was the talk of the IWC around this time. As you know, HHH gets a LOT of criticism for never putting people over and while today that’s complete nonsense, those complaints started around this time and I think that at this time they were completely true. “But KB, he JUST put Shawn over.” Yes he did, but you have to remember that at this time no one, not even Vince himself thought that Shawn was coming back full time.

This was a one off performance and that was it. It’s no different than when Hogan came back and beat Orton and HBK. He had nothing to lose but he didn’t put them over as they needed. It’s no different here. HBK didn’t need to win here, given the circumstances at the time. Yes, HHH put someone over, but he put someone over that didn’t need it. Less than a month after this HHH would be awarded the WHC and after a brief Shawn run HHH would hold it for over 9 months.

In that time he beat everyone and beat them soundly. That right there is where he got the reputation for never putting anyone over, and I think those are valid claims. Prior to this he had won the title at Mania 18 and lost it to Hogan, who was just another nostalgia run like HBK was right here. In other words, for over a year and a half, HHH put over HBK, his best friend, and Hogan, the biggest star of all time.

Starting with the creation of the Undisputed Title in December of 2001 and ending with Wrestlemania 21 almost three and a half years later, the longest HHH wert without being world champion: just under four and a half months. Once the second title was created in September of this year or about 2 weeks after this show until Mania 21 (Batista and Cena winning the world titles): 5 months.

Both of these times he was feuding with HBK for the majority of the time. Therefore, I think there certainly was something to those claims back then that he was either playing politics or hogging the title while refusing to put anyone over, as he was either champion or feuding with HBK.

Since we had an amazing moment, we follow it with a bit that is supposed to be funny. This was the Get The F Out campaign because of those panda lovers.

JR and Lawler don’t think HHH is a very nice person. No valentine’s day cards for them.

Howard Finkel has something to say as we have entered the Twilight Zone. He says that he’s dedicated to the business and while MLB may be going on strike (they didn’t), the fans will always have the Fink. For no reason at all, Trish comes out for this. Apparently….they’ve been feuding?

Like I said in my Smackdown review, it’s kind of awesome hearing Fink’s voice being ticked off. Trish hits on him for some reason. Howard references his rather personal area as my scars are scarred for life. Lillian is behind them and she beats up Fink and leaves with Trish. Aside from having two very hot women appear, this may have been the most pointless segment I’ve ever seen.

We see a promo package on the rise of Brock and how Rock has been training “specially” for this match, which means he’s getting in shape to film the Rundown.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

After all that, Tony Chimmel is announcing. Brock’s music is great and Heyman is in his element as the jerk agent. This match was Rock’s very last time being around any title period as he would make one last 3 month run in the spring, beating Hogan and Austin before putting Goldberg over and riding off into Hollywood, only appearing for Mania the next year.

Basically, this was to launch Brock as high up as they could in one match and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it done better. Rock was really just a trophy champion at this point, having no title matches and never really being the focus of the show at all. Since Austin was on hiatus at this point, Rock was all they had left as HHH was busy with HBK. They figured they would roll the dice on Brock and just see what happened.

There’s not a lot to say here other than Brock is destroying him. I mean this is almost an extended squash, with the fans all over Rock. It’s a smark crowd so I’m assuming they know Rock is gone after tonight. Either way, Rock is getting booed out of the building here and the fans LOVE Brock, who was turned face about three months later at Survivor Series. Actually it was a bit before, but it was official that night as Heyman turned on him, making Brock face by default.

Brock puts on a bearhug which I kid you not lasts nearly three minutes. Granted, it’s the hug that killed Hogan off, but DANG that’s a long time. After the nap I was taking ends with them finally doing something, they go to the floor and Lesnar is down. During this time, Heyman gets the worst Rock Bottom of all time through the table. Back in, Rock hits the Rock Bottom and Lesnar kicks out because that’s what monster heels do.

He hits his own Rock Bottom which Tazz calls, say it with me, the Brock Bottom, and yes, it is stupider than it sounds. They trade punches with Rock winning and going for the Elbow but Brock pops up to just take his head off with a clothesline. That was one of the hardest moves I’ve ever seen.

We get a great series of near finishers and counters, but Brock lands the F5 to completely shock the world and win the title as the fans go nuts. The ending is really fast with clichéd lines like the next big thing has arrived. I think they were pressed for time or something here because the show is over maybe 15 seconds after the pin without even a single replay.

Rating: C+. This again wasn’t about the wrestling but what it meant. As I said this was Brock’s big moment and they couldn’t have put him over any stronger if their lives depended on it. He dismantled Rock and made it look easy. Of course they would screw this up royally by putting him with Big Show who would injure him at a house show because he was too fat for Brock to throw around without hurting himself.

Scratch that. Brock could throw him around, but Show just sucked badly at this time. Either way they had no choice but to give Show the belt in an angle that was just horrid as it made Brock look pretty weak. Also, less than two weeks after this the Undisputed belt is made exclusive to Smackdown which I think is what Stephanie was laughing about earlier.

Anyway it leads to HHH being given (literally) the World Heavyweight Championship which Shawn would win at Survivor Series in the first Elimination Chamber. DAng I got off topic again. Anyway, Brock was awesome, Rock put him over and bailed, and Austin was long gone, so Brock is officially a big deal.

Overall Rating: A+. This show is awesome, but HHH/HBK should have gone on last, plain and simple. It was by far and away the bigger story and got more attention. Also, after that match, the fans weren’t spent but they weren’t as alive as they could have been for the title change.

Other than that, I don’t have any issue with this show. It’s solid all around with nothing bad on it at all. I’ve heard it compared to Mania 17 and while I don’t think it’s better or equal to it, it beats anything for second place at least off the top of my head. Highest recommendation all around here.




Impact Wrestling – August 4, 2011 – Longest First Hour Ever

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 4, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Hardcore Justice which is looking like a pretty well built card. Angle vs. Sting is a match I only kind of want to see so there isn’t much there. Other than that we have more of Immortal’s implosion tonight with Ray vs. Anderson in a feud that scares me to death. There are a lot of loose ends right now in TNA so I’m actually interested in seeing the show so far. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of the ending to last week’s show with Sting and the bird plus the issues with Anderson and Ray.

Here’s Immortal in the ring with Ray introducing all of them. Ray says Abyss is the only person he’s afraid of. After the introductions are done, Ray says that this town ain’t big enough for Immortal and Fourtune. Anderson says this ring ain’t big enough for him and Ray. Anderson isn’t happy with Ray volunteering him for the match last week and then screwing him over.

It may not be tonight or next week or next year, but one day Anderson will get him back. Ray wants to now who Anderson is again. Ray talks about how Anderson lost the title in one week. He says he’s Bully Ray, a 23 time world champion. When Hogan and Bischoff aren’t around, he’s in charge of Immortal. Anderson is just something on Ray’s shoe on his way to the title. Anderson wants a match at Hardcore Justice and Ray is all cool with that. Anderson….I think sings a song and they start brawling.

Immortal pulls them apart and here’s Fourtune. Kaz talks for a bit and here comes Fourtune for the brawl. Fourtune has a six man with Immortal on Sunday against I guess Gunner, Abyss and Steiner. Storm legit hurt his back in this but from what I understand it wasn’t anything serious.

Madison Rayne vs. Miss Tessmacher

Mickie is on commentary here. Tara comes out with her tag partner Tessmacher. And never mind as Tara is sent to the back just before we get started. Madison takes over quickly and does her hump the mat with the chick’s head move. Madison yells at Mickie and gets rolled up for the pin at 1:35.

Post match Madison chokes Tessmacher and Mickie goes to make the save, only to be blasted by Angelina. Mickie fights her off but Winter comes out and beats her down even more.

Bound For Glory Standings

Crimson 40

James Storm 33

Rob Van Dam 28

Gunner 28

Bully Ray 28

Bobby Roode 28

Matt Morgan 24 (eliminated due to injury)

Devon 23

AJ Styles 21

Scott Steiner 14

Pope 7

Samoa Joe 0

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. Devon

Basic stuff to start with AJ avoiding various offense using speed. Pope is with D-Von’s kids again. D-Von gets a back elbow for two and spots Pope. AJ grabs a rolling cross armbreaker but D-Von makes the floor. Styles Clash is blocked as in D-Von’s reverse inverted DDT. Pele gets two as Daniels is seated at ringside cheering AJ on. AJ goes to yell at him and misses a springboard, letting Devon rolling him up for a pin at 3:35. Yes that really happened.

Rating: C. Nothing here at all as it’s almost too short to grade. D-Von is nothing of note at all as he’s just D-Von. The Pope and Daniels things could be interesting eventually but at the moment it doesn’t look like anything is coming from them. I wasn’t impressed here but the stuff that they did was ok I guess. Not a fan of the same ending to two matches in a row though.

Post match AJ blames Daniels for the loss. Daniels says he’s been waiting on AJ to talk to him about something but AJ is mad.

We recap Angle vs. Sting which is about how they’ve had a long history. It helps that they acknowledge Angle has beaten Sting before, just not cleanly. I can live with that.

Pope says he’ll beat D-Von at the PPV.

Bound For Glory Series: D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe

Dinero uses his boxing background to make Joe back off and then locks on an armbar. They head to the floor and Dinero runs a bit. Dinero takes over and here comes Devon. I don’t think Pope sees him but he gets caught in a Koquina Clutch and we’re done at 2:45. And then Joe won’t let go so the decision is reversed. Dinero gets 3 points for the DQ win and Joe is now at -10.

In the back Joe snaps on management, saying they don’t want him near the top because he’s a threat. He’s coming strong later.

Storm says his back is too hurt to go in his street fight so Roode is taking his place in it.

Bully Ray is on the phone with Hulk and says Anderson started the fight. It sounds like a parent and their child. Ray is told to apologize and says he’ll do it out of respect for Hogan.

Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode

This is a street fight and Roode is subbing for Storm who is injured. Roode is in street clothes. He sends SuperMex to the floor and dives on him, only to get caught in the back with a chair shot. Back into the ring now and Hernandez is in total control and choking with his belt. Hernandez runs him over and smacks him in the head with a trashcan lid. It gets two because Roode is in the ropes. In a hardcore match. I’ll never get that rule.

Roode makes a comeback, including the Blockbuster and a bunch of cane shots. Border Toss is reversed into the armbar by Roode. SuperMex taps but the referee doesn’t see it. Everything breaks down and Hernandez gets a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin at 7:23.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid fight here as they beat each other up both ways. I wasn’t into the ending as it was really sloppy and the third time tonight that we’ve had that ending (distraction into a rollup). The tag title match is something I’m looking forward to Sunday though so that’s a good sign. At least this got some time.

Ray goes to apologize to Anderson and when he finally accepts it, Ray hits him in the balls.

Austin Aries vs. Alex Shelley

Aries jumps him in the corner but Shelly takes over quickly, hitting an enziguri for two. Aries tries one of his own which doesn’t work and La Magistral gets two. There are going to be new X-Division guys brought in next week. Shelley gets some kind of inverted reverse figure four but it doesn’t last long. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. Aries sends him to the floor and hits a big dive which gets two in the ring.

Superplex is broken up and a flying superkick puts Aries on the floor. A suicide dive hits and we go back inside. Double stomp misses for Shelley and Aries tries Sliced Bread which fails as well. Aries sends him to the floor again (we get it already) and puts on Shelley’s vest/jacket. The referee protests and gets dropped by accident. Shelley gets sent into the post crotch first. Brainbuster ends this at 6:00.

Rating: C+. Eh not bad here but the going to the floor thing got a bit repetitive. Also, GIVE SOME PEOPLE MORE THAN SIX MINUTES. That’s become such a problem on Impact: nothing gets any significant time anymore. Is it that much to ask to give a match ten minutes? Oh wait we needed to reemphasize that Ray and Anderson don’t like each other two more times. See why the WRESTLING MATTERS stuff is hard to buy?

Post match Aries beats on him a bit until Kendrick makes the save.

Eric Young is getting acting lessons. It’s more “comedy”.

Now we get something different. Angle is in the production truck and is going to give commentary on the empty arena match from February of 2009 with him and Sting. I’m not sure if this is clipped or not but it’s eating up a lot of time and is just like a DVD commentary. Well that was rather pointless.

Sting is here now.

Bound For Glory Series: Scott Steiner/Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam/Crimson

Only the person that gets the fall gets points. Crimson is in white shorts now. We’re told that the points leader in the Series after No Surrender goes to BFG, not necessarily the winner. Rob and Scott start with the power game working well for Scott. Off to Gunner who hammers down RVD as well. Gunner vs. Crimson now with Crimson in control. Steiner comes in to suplex Red Boy a bit and drop the elbow for some pushups.

Belly to back gets two for Gunner but he jumps into the Red Alert (old finisher) to put him down. Double tag brings in Scott and Rob again with RVD taking over. Everything breaks down after Rolling Thunder hits Steiner. Crimson hits a big old spear to take Gunner down and Rob hits the Five Star. Steiner takes Rob down with a Downward Spiral for two. Steiner takes Rob to the corner for something but Crimson breaks it up and Rob hits the Five Star again for the pin on Steiner at 7:12.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid little tag match here with both teams moving out there. Rob winning works as it sets up the match on Sunday as #1 vs. #2 which makes sense for it. Two Five Stars was a nice touch too and the whole match was pretty good. Again though, GO LONGER THAN 8 FREAKING MINUTES!

RVD and Crimson both say they’ll win at the PPV.

Time for the contract signing. They’re kind of pushing it as the match is only in three days. Angle signs pretty quickly. Sting does as well and there are no issues it seems. Well that’s anti-climactic. Angle says Sting is an icon and it’ll be a great match Sunday. It’s going to end in a handshake.

Sting says he doesn’t feel like laughing. He feels like he’s accomplished something in his 25 years now but he’s just as big a fan as Angle. Sting praises Angle for being able to do anything in the ring.  Sting says he has to be champion to right the wrong that Bischoff and Hogan have done and get the company back to Dixie Carter.  That’s real and it will be on Sunday, end of show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well they built up the PPV well, but the first hour DRAGGED. It felt like the show should have been over at about 10:05. The second hour picked up a bit with some fun matches, but overall this didn’t work for the most part. There are some parts of the PPV I want to see but there are others that I really could not care less about. The second hour saves this one though as it wasn’t bad.

Results

Miss Tessmacher b. Madison Rayne – Small Package

Devon b. AJ Styles – Rollup

D’Angelo Dinero b. Samoa Joe via DQ when Samoa Joe wouldn’t let go of the Koquina Clutch

Hernandez b. Bobby Roode – Rollup

Austin Aries b. Alex Shelley – Brainbuster

Crimson/Rob Van Dam b. Gunner/Scott Steiner




History of Summerslam Count-Up: Summerslam 2001 – Summerslam Gets All Alliancey

Summerslam 2001
Date: August 19, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, San Jose, California
Attendance: 15,293
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Ok, I know I usually say little is different, but in this case, just about everything is different. WCW in its original form is dead, having been bought by Vince for an insane two million dollars just 5 months prior to this. The Invasion is going on at the moment as WWF is battling the ECW/WCW Alliance. Tonight we have a double main event of Steve Austin vs. Angle for the WWF Title and Booker T vs. Rock for the WCW Title.

Either way, this show is just a complete 180 from last year. Also HHH is injured having torn his quad about 3 months ago. The roster has been more or less put on steroids now with guys like RVD, Booker T, DDP, Rhyno, Tajiri and Lance Storm here now. Oh and Lawler quit over his witch of a wife being fired.

Finally, Austin is top heel now, having left WWF for the Alliance, saying that he’ll have better competition now, which is completely stupid as he’s fighting the same guys he was fighting before the Invasion, but who am I to critique the genius of Vince McMahon and his Invasion storyline?

The angle could have been far better, but there’s been laundry lists of reasons given about why it didn’t work, with the big one being that they didn’t wait long enough, but I’ll drop that before I go into a page and a half long rant. Let’s get started.

WOW. This video package to open the show is AWESOME. It’s set to Drowning Pool’s Bodies, which is still the best live performance of a song that I’ve ever heard. This looks like the opening to a TV show or something and is just well done all around. It looks awesome and is one of the best video openings I’ve ever seen. Actually, here it is.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Edge

A lot of the stories tonight are going to consist of this: WWF vs. Alliance, and that’s what this would be classified as. Storm was the midcard Alliance guy so they gave him the IC belt to help even out the title scene. Edge gets a huge pop. This should be good. Edge was at an odd stage in his career at this point, where he and Christian were way too big of a deal to be a tag team anymore and Edge was clearly on the verge of being a breakout star.

He won the KOTR this year with he and Christian feuded over the KOTR Cup and yes I said Cup. This is very solid for the first five minutes or so with Edge having a completely different style around this time. He would get hurt in I think 2003 just as he was on the verge of the main event push and be out for over a year. His style back then was much more well rounded with more high flying but everything else just about the same as it is now.

Lance Storm has a very odd stomp, as he kicks his left foot forward and then stomps with the right boot. He must be doing something right though as he’s the only wrestler ever, and I do mean only one ever, that could make a half Boston Crab seem like a deadly submission move. We cut back to the WWF locker room to see everyone crowded around a monitor watching the match.

That’s something that could have worked well in the NWO angle, which is what this is a redoing of, and while it’s not as good, I don’t think it’s as bad as everyone says it was. Heyman’s commentary is great as he can play the cocky heel as well as anyone ever on the headset could. Edge starts his comeback as we get a gem of a line by JR: “Powerbomb by Edge. It was a powerbomb.” The more I listen to him, the more I shake my head.

Anyway, they both almost get their finishers but they can’t quite get there. For no apparent reason, Christian comes out and tries to spear Storm but misses and hits Edge which gets two. We get a nice sequence of holds and counters but Edge catches Storm in the inverted DDT which he needs to go back to for the pin and the title. Christian hands him the belt and leaves in a weird moment.

Rating: B. Another solid Summerslam opener here as they were going fast paced and slow paced in a perfect balance. Both guys were working hard and it was a solid pairing that gives you a nice title change that was more or less clean. Good way to get the show going.

Test and the Dudleys are heading to the ring but are cut off by Michael Cole, somehow looking less heterosexual than he does now. Test has left the WWF because he’s tired of being upstaged. The Dudleys left because they’re tired of Spike and his girlfriend Molly getting the glory, so we get a six man out of it.

Jericho says that he’ll beat Rhyno tonight. He also gets some funny jokes in about Stephanie being rather friendly with the men and her plastic surgery.

Spike Dudley/APA vs. Test/Dudley Boys

Molly with the blonde hair and in the blue top is beyond pretty. Just absolutely gorgeous. Test cost the APA the tag titles, leading to this match. The white shirts on the WCW referees just look stupid. They start off with the faces beating the heels up and then Spike comes in. Now Spike reminds me of X-Pac. He tries so hard but his size is just too much to overcome.

Why should I believe that a guy that I outweigh by nearly a hundred pounds can beat up someone that outweighs me by 100lbs? Simply put, I don’t and I never have. He was fine as a cruiserweight guy, but he had no business being in there with big men. I get that it was his gimmick, but I couldn’t stand it. We’ve got tables less than 5 minutes into the match so at least we’re not waiting that long for them this time.

The Dudleys do a double flapjack and they throw him so high up they nearly lose their grip on him. That’s just downright impressive. This is actually a very fast match as the faces take over again for just a bit, until Spike is launched over the top and through a table. Bradshaw nails Test with a Clothesline, but Shane comes in and blasts him with a chair for the pin. Paul’s line of D-Von, get the ambulance makes me laugh.

Rating: C. It was just a short 6 man without much going on. We do need filler though and that’s what this match was. It was a seven minute match and a ten minute segment in total that was just fine. It’s not bad, it’s not great but I’d call it perfectly acceptable.

In the back, the WWF guys are upset over losing the match but they’re all congratulating Edge over winning the IC Title. Christian comes up and announces that he’s gotten a European Title shot tomorrow night on Raw. No one cares, as their Grandma calls. She talks to Edge and hangs up on Christian which gets a solid laugh.

Shawn Stasiak comes into Debra/Stone Cold’s locker room which ticks off Debra. At the time he was just an idiot character that was trying to impress Austin. He says something about his tights but Debra says if he wants to make an impression to go beat someone up.

Title For Title: Tajiri vs. X-Pac

It’s the light heavyweight championship vs. the cruiserweight championship here in a unification match. Actually, upon further review it’s not, and it’s just to hold both belts. Later on they would be split again until there was suppose to be a unification match at Survivor Series. X-Pac was injured so they just dropped the Light Heavyweight Title and replaced it with the WWF Cruiserweight Title. Uh, I guess that makes sense.

Anyway, let’s get to this. X-Pac at the time was the leader of perhaps the most useless group of all time: X-Factor. It was him, Justin Credible and Albert. They did nothing, they had no feuds, they accomplished nothing. Like I said, they were the most useless stable of all time. Oh yeah Pac is wearing just tights now instead of his singlet. Ross talks about how this is the last Direct TV broadcast of a PPV, as no one really cares.

The surfboard is just absolutely painful looking. See, this is how Pac should have been used the entire time. He simply had no business fighting guys twice his size, just like Spike in the previous match. It makes sense and works much better when he’s fighting guys like these. Oh apparently neither guy is in the Alliance, so this is the one real WWF match all night. Oh what a treat for us.

Both guys have educated feet I guess. This has been almost all X-Pac, and since this is one of my reviews and my timing is worse than a broken Boogeyman clock, Tajiri makes his comeback at that very second. Ok, so maybe this is for a unified title. They’re not very clear about it, but based on what the announcers say it’s for a unified title, yet based on what actually happened, it wasn’t unified until about three months later.

The company continues to amaze me with its complete lack of sense. Anyway, they botch the handspring elbow as X-Pac dives onto his stomach like it’s just a simple hitting of the ropes. Albert comes out and gets on the apron, causing the mist to be blown. A low blow and an X-Factor come as the referee is getting rid of Albert to end this.

Rating: C+. Short and sweet here, but overall it wasn’t bad. They were wrestling people that it made sense for them to wrestle and title for title matches are always cool no matter who is in them. Pac would be hurt soon enough and he would be the guy that had to drop out of the Survivor Series match after Tajiri got the Cruiserweight Title. It made no sense, so go figure.

We go to WWF New York and see Perry Saturn as he searches for Moppy. If you don’t know about this story, do yourself a favor and go look it up. It was one of the dumbest and best angles I’ve ever seen.

Stephanie is with Rhyno and says she picked him to beat Jericho because he’s never beaten Rhyno in the ring. Now table tennis, Parcheesi and Chinese Checkers, those are all different stories.

We get a recap of the feud, which was highlighted by Rhyno goring Jericho through the Smackdown set. Now, after that, he suggests a match with Jericho at Summerslam, which makes sense as he’s already gotten the last laugh, so we have to give the face another chance to get even right?

Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno

The editing is odd here as you get the Jericho interview from earlier in the show here. Not sure why they would do them twice like that. Stephanie looks AWESOME in a black leather dress. Her hair being braded/curled isn’t working so well though. Heyman hates Jericho apparently which is ironic I’d think.

They slug it out to start and Jericho is out of his league here. Top rope elbow to a standing Rhyno which is a move I’ve always liked doesn’t do much. Walls are avoided as Jericho has shifted it to wrestling and has taken over. Jericho gets that springboard dropkick while Rhyno is on the apron. Stephanie distracts Jericho to allow Rhyno to catch him with a Gore as Jericho dives at him to the floor and both guys are down, drawing a holy crap chant.

BIG old slap to Jericho by Stephanie which Ross calls a right hand. That’s true but it’s a bit misleading in wrestling commentary. Body scissors by Rhyno which is one of his signature moves I think. I watched a match of his last night and one today and I think he used it in both. He throws in a freaking airplane spin for two. Can’t say he’s typical.

Rhyno goes up for a splash which Jericho moved out of the way from but Rhyno would have missed even if Jericho hadn’t moved at all. Jericho messes up a springboard but gets something out of it anyway for two. Middle rope dropkick gets a cover but Stephanie literally hugs the referee to stop the cover. Jericho kisses her and then hits the Lionsault for a long two.

Spinebuster by Rhyno sets up the Walls for him and they’re better than the ones Jericho tends to use. Gore misses and the proper version of the Walls, as in the Liontamer, gets the tap.

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here as Rhyno was still worth anything at this point. Jericho of course was great as he was on the verge of going into the main event as a heel which worked out pretty well for him I’d think. This was a lot better than anyone expected I think and it was a solid 12 minute match.

Rock is walking in the back and is stopped by Regal. After a fairly boring promo, Stasiak runs at Rock who casually steps aside, causing Shawn to slam into a wall. Rock completes his promo and leaves.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

This is a ladder match. It occurs to me, Hardy has had a more successful career than Van Dam, and it’s almost not even close. Imagine telling someone that back in 2001. They would have thought you were completely insane. At best for Van Dam, career wise they’re about even. Van Dam was a very interesting case. He was clearly the most popular ECW guy and WWF let him be. Yes he was on the heel team, but they didn’t make him evil.

Van Dam’s character isn’t someone menacing or threatening an they didn’t try to make him one. That’s why he was able to come out of it as a solid face: he always was one. Since I didn’t like the way I reviewed the TLC match at yesterday’s show, I’ll spare you the big long list of sick spots here and try to do more general stuff. For one thing, in this match there’s far less of a plan I think.

I’d guess that in the back, they just told these two to go put on a spot fest and that’s what happened. They go move for move with each other for about 15 minutes and it’s quite entertaining. Both guys can use the ladder very well indees, as they jump all over the place and try to one up each other with their big time moves. During the match, Heyman lists off the attributes of Sabu, yet doesn’t say his name. That just struck me as odd.

Were they not allowed to say it for some reason? I can’t imagine it was a copyright issue or something like that. Also, he’s credited as Van Dam’s mentor. I never really thought of him like that. Near the end they do the big hanging spot with Hardy holding onto the belt, which always seemed a bit stupid to me.

He really can’t unhook the belt with one hand? I find that a bit hard to believe. Anyway the ending is Van Dam just shoves the ladder down with Jeff on it and climbs up to get the belt in a rather anti-climactic ending.

Rating: B-. It was fun, but it wasn’t great. The problem with matches like these is that a lot of the spots have just been done before. We’ve seen all of these moves and while they’re cool, they’re not original anymore. Yeah the match was fun and cool, but it wasn’t great like a lot of them were. It’s still quite good though.

In the back, Booker is warming up for his match as Shane comes in with a present. He gives him book ends (like the Rock Bottom rip off of a finisher that he uses) made from the announce table that he put Rock through last week. That’s actually kind of clever.

We get a recap of the Brothers of Destruction vs. DDP/Kanyon. To me, this was an AWESOME story. Basically, we had seen Taker’s wife Sara (who was very hot, way hotter than McCool) being stalked by a guy that we never saw. He’d have tapes of himself inside their house, of her coming out of the pool, of her in the shower, in their bedroom, etc. The key thing was, you didn’t know who was filming them.

Now I’ve heard a lot of varying rumors as to who he was originally supposed to be revealed as, with the most prominent being Kane. However, it turned out to be DDP. The problem was they kind of discontinued the Sara aspect as DDP just kept getting beat up. Eventually Kanyon came in and Kane backed up Taker. They both won tag titles, so we have another kind of unification match here inside of a cage. In other words, it’s a way for Taker and Kane to kill them both at once.

WWF/WCW Tag Titles: DDP/Kanyon vs. Brothers of Destruction

Oh yeah Kanyon is the US Champion at the same time, so we have five belts in one match. Now aren’t you glad they unified some of them? I have to give them this: the WCW Tag Title belts just look awesome. They run down Taker’s history in cage matches, which is pretty extensive. I actually like the idea of pins and submissions counting here. Taker is a guy that needs to just win with a big knockout move.

Just after Taker and Kane get in, Taker grabs the door and slams it shut in a very cool looking thing. Immediately your heels try to go over the top in separate corners. If I were Taker and Kane, I would have let Kanyon leave. It gives you a handicap against DDP, who is the real hated one. Imagine what you could combine to do to him in that situation. Let the slaughtering begin. The heels actually take over for about 45 seconds which surprises me, but of course it doesn’t last long at all.

This is more or less a tag team beatdown. There is a cool moment though once the heels take over again as they’re both leaving over the top of the cage. The Brothers are down and at the same time they sit up. They follow my advice and let Kanyon leave without any problem, only to beat the living heck out of DDP. For a lot of this beating, Kane is just sitting on the top rope and watching.

Taker yells at Page that he can leave and he’ll let him live, but if he ever looks at Sara again he’ll kill him. Page tries to leave but Taker of course stops him and chokeslams him, before the Last Ride ends this. Dang, Sara is rather hot. Also, the unification lasted less than a month as both belts were individually defended next month.

Rating: C+. This was nothing but a double beating and that’s just fine. No one believed the heels had a chance so the match was booked correctly by not giving them a chance. They were completely destroyed and that’s how it should have been. Page of course turned face soon after this, becoming the motivational tooth guy (look it up).

Rock is with the doctor in the back and cuts a promo on the doctor as Stasiak runs at him again, and the same thing happens but this time the camera doesn’t even follow him. He just goes flying over the table as Rock steps back.

We get the recap of Austin vs. Angle. This was actually an epic match, as the buildup was great. They more or less made Angle into a monster leading up to this, having him beat every big name in the Alliance before finally challenging Austin. Austin had turned on the WWF at InVasion back in I think July, nailing Angle with a chair to give the heels the victory and join them in the process.

In the buildup, Angle had just beaten Austin down at every single turn and it looked like this one was going to be domination. To their credit though, the bookers never made Austin look weak. He was the same Austin that had dominated through the late 90s, but they simply made Angle look better. That’s hard to do but it works very well, as it saves Austin’s credibility as well as makes Angle look better.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

They meet in the aisle as Austin isn’t afraid of Kurt, which I think helps his character a lot. If Austin had just become this little coward, then no one would have bought him as the leader of the heel faction. By keeping him as the tough guy that he always had been, they make the Alliance look that much stronger. For the most part all we have in the first 2 minutes is nothing but punches.

I get why that’s how most big matches start but not two minutes worth. Austin works on the leg which isn’t as odd as you’d think but Angle gets a sweet counter into the ankle lock. The announcers more or less ruin it as they make it clear through their voices that this isn’t it. When I say announcers I mean JR. It’s weird to see Austin being in control for the majority of a match like this. These two are suplexing the heck out of each other, which is just freaking cool.

It’s not often that you see Austin using offense like this but it’s certainly both looking good and working. Angle hits seven or eight in a row, which somehow isn’t the most Austin has ever taken in a row as Benoit once hit I think 13 in a row. That’s just not only sick but impressive that Benoit could keep getting him up as well as he did. Since it’s pro wrestling though, Austin is just fine after a few seconds of resting following that many suplexes.

From out of nowhere, Austin gets a Stunner after about 8 minutes. The crowd has no idea what to think as Austin got it and got it clean. Angle of course kicks out and the second Stunner sends him to the floor. I don’t get why the announcers are so surprised that Angle kicked out. Rock kicked out after about 3 of them at Mania and after about a 20 minute match. Anyway, Austin goes to the floor and just beats the tar out of Angle.

He nearly breaks his leg and it’s Austin doing what he does best. This would have been a standard Austin match in the late 90s actually. See how well this was done? They’ve just turned his allegiance around and now Austin is still what he was before but just working for a different side. They go out into the crowd where Austin hits a suplex over the barrier but doesn’t go down with Angle. Apparently this was the best move ever, despite it being little more than a slam.

Angle counters though and gets the ankle lock on the floor with a downright scary look on his face. He gets it again in the middle of the ring, but he’s in the ropes in all of 4 seconds. Angle is bleeding bad here, like almost Austin at Mania 13 bad. Ok on second look it’s not that bad. Hey, did you know that Angle won an gold medal with a broken neck? Now sure if you’d ever heard something like that.

More suplexes follow as I’m gaining a new appreciation for those things. Angle busts out the moonsault and hits it like Curt Hennig would. Angle is going commando on Austin…whatever that means, but Austin breaks out the cobra clutch, which despite using it at Mania where Ross says that he hasn’t used is since he was the Ringmaster, Austin uses it here for the first time since he was the Ringmaster.

As Angle does the 80s style arm stays up on the third drop, his head is just looking awful. A third Stunner after all that only gets two as the fans are WAY into this. Angle Slam is the counter to the kick, as I continue to try to figure out how the Angle Slam is any different from a belly to back suplex that’s rotated just a bit. Austin hits the referee though after it gets a two as JR is of course, say it with me, FREAKING OUT.

Did you know that JR thought he knew that man? Did you know that? Not sure if you had heard that one or not. Austin low blows Angle and then stuns the other referee as JR is quoting the 25th letter of the alphabet. A THIRD referee comes out and Austin hits him with the belt. Angle hits the slam but JR is SHOCKED that the referee that got hit maybe 4 seconds ago is down. After all that, we get to the odd part of the match.

Nick Patrick, an Alliance referee, runs out, counts ONE time, and then slides out and tells Fink that it’s a DQ. Why in the world would you count a one and then go for the DQ? I thought he was pulling up because he was going to say his shoulder hurt or something like that, but just to count one and then the DQ? What kind of sense does that even begin to not make?

Naturally, Angle goes off on Patrick with the ankle lock, and I have two observations. One: Patrick taps. Why? Does he think that it’s a match and that’s going to make Angle let go or something? Two: Ross, as usual, says that he’s tapping like a drunk man. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I’ve been around people when they’re drunk and not once have they tapped. The line makes no sense at all and yet somehow the fans have accepted it.

After the match, Ross goes insane again and just babbles on forever about how he knows Austin can’t beat Angle. I know I make fun of Ross a lot, but this was beyond bad looking. This was bordering on embarrassing. Either way, Austin would lose clean to Angle next month after some of the best promos that I can remember, easily the best Angle has ever done.

Rating: A-. This was an awesome match. Austin went suplex for suplex with Angle and they had huge drama going on near the end. Angle took a freaking beating but kept going. I’m not an Angle fan, but there are times when he gets into that zone of his that he is just flat out mesmerizing. This was one of those nights for him.

We recap Rock vs. Booker as it’s just pathetic to really see how much WCW was just stealing from the WWF at the end. There’s imitating and then there’s just flat out ripping off. WCW was doing that later. It was really just bad, and Booker was the worst of them all.

WCW Title: Rock vs. Booker T

Yes, the main event of Summerslam is for the WCW Title. Think of someone that’s very over. Rock is more over. Ross says that the people at home are on their feet. Has anyone ever jumped up for an entrance? Not that I can think of. This is Rock’s first PPV match since Mania as he left to film Scorpion King. Therefore, if you can’t guess the ending of this show, you’re an idiot.

It’s mainly a brawl to start as neither guy has a real advantage for that long. I like matches like that. It makes you think that anything can happen and it can give you a possible hint of what I say makes a match great: not knowing who is going to win. There’s little fun in a squash match, as it’s obvious who is going to win. A good match is typically one where you’re unsure who will win. Now there are obvious exceptions, but for the most part you’ll find that the lack of a clear winner is the better case.

Oh yeah Shane is outside helping Booker about every 8 seconds as can be expected. However, the APA run out and take him out with a sick clothesline by the future waste of air Bradshaw. There’s really not much to say about the match as it’s pretty standard for the most part. Booker is down after an elbow drop but Shane has to make the save since Booker fell asleep waiting on Rock to finish with all of the theatrics, earning Shane another beating.

This is a pretty solid match here though as it’s back and forth with Booker of course being in control most of the match. They fight even more but Booker spins up as Mark Madden continues to validate his existence. If you don’t believe he has a reason to exist, read his column.

I’m sure you’ll be amazed by all the things that he takes credit for, but he’d hate this show. Page had a role in it. What’s his deal with Page anyway? Whatever, it’s not like I’d be able to listen to his explanation. Anyway, as Booker spins up, Rock nips up and lands the Rock Bottom (NOT URANAGE BLAST IT!) for the pin, the title, and Heyman’s heart attack. He poses with the belt to end the show.

Rating: B+. This was a fun match and was great to send the folks home happy. Booker wasn’t going to win and everyone knew it, but they did the best they could with it and it turned out pretty well. It was Rock’s big return and it put the spotlight on him very well. It was definitely good but not great.

Overall Rating: B+. Would have been better to have Austin/Angle go on last, but this certainly worked very well. Either way, we have a good show here with a solid balance of gimmick and regular matches and a fun match to end the show. Austin and Angle is an underrated match, but their match next month was better.

However, I think this show is lacking the one huge match that steals the show which is keeping it from being an all time classic. Definitely recommended though as this is a very good, but not great, show.




History of Summerslam Count-Up – 2000: Why Does No One Remember This Show?

Summerslam 2000
Date: August 27, 2000
Location: Raleigh Entertainment and Sports Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Attendance: 17,002
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another year, and another Summerslam. We have no Austin at the moment, but he’s coming back very soon from neck surgery. In his absence, HHH and Rock have shot to the moon in popularity with Rock being the face of the company at the moment and the reigning WWF Champion. His opponents are HHH and Angle, who had a double pin in a triple threat with Jericho. Also, they’re feuding over Stephanie.

We also have biker Taker vs. Kane, and the first ever TLC match with the three teams that you would expect to be in a TLC match. We’re just on the verge of being out of the Attitude Era as WCW knows they’re a dying breed at this point and would be out of business in about 8 months. Therefore, WWF has won and they’re still pouring it on with the Attitude Era, but with Austin gone a lot of the edge has left, as the gap is nowhere near as big as it once was between him and the rest of the roster.

Either way, WWF is no longer dominating but is victorious in the wars with just the final surrender to go. This is the last Summerslam before the takeover of WCW, so let’s see if it’s as good as the rest of the Attitude Era.

This intro is out there. It’s all in sepia, which is that gray color you see in old movies. It’s a bunch of odd scenes and looks like something you see on an acid trip, mixed in with wrestling clips. It shows kind of a highlight package of the main feud, which makes me think that the main event should have been Rock vs. someone else (not sure who, maybe Jericho or Benoit) and HHH vs. Angle in a separate match.

One of the clips in this is the Trish bent over in front of HHH scene, which is still one of the best done comedy moments in the history of the WWF in my opinion. We get the pyro etc. as Ross and Lawler welcome us.

Right To Censor vs. Too Cool/Rikishi

It’s the Lee special as Steven Richards, Bull Buchanan and Goodfather are the RTC tonight, with Val coming later I guess. It’s hard to believe that Rikishi would be revealed as the man that ran over Austin in less than two months. Ok, the name plates for the wrestlers are going to be a problem. When they come on the screen or go off the screen they make this weird sounds and it sounds like someone is knocking on my window.

In case you don’t know, RTC was a parody of the PTC, which in essence is a company that whines and complains about how everything on TV is poisoning children’s minds. There’s a massive rant that I’m holding back here that could go on for about four pages but I’ll spare you from it. Anyway, they try to censor anything they don’t like, and they don’t like Rikishi’s thong. Too Cool and the fat guy come out with two of Godfather’s former Hos, one of which is known as Victoria.

Victoria in a short skirt dancing is something that we need a LOT more of. Apparently the WWF Title match is no holds barred. The crowd starts chanting save the gardening equipment. Yeah that joke sucks but I couldn’t help it. More or less this turns into Rikishi dominating against the other three while Too Cool do nothing at all. In other words, it’s a standard Too Cool and Rikishi match. He goes for the stink face, which is an abomination on wrestling if I’ve ever seen one.

It (thankfully) doesn’t happen as Bull kicks him in the head. Scotty goes for the Worm which is even worse than the other move, but I become a Stevie fan as he kicks Scotty’s head off and pins him. Short and sweet, just how I like it.

Rating: B-. It was a fast opener which is perfect for a PPV. For some reason the crowd always loved Too Cool, despite the fact that they completely sucked. I loved that we didn’t have to see either of those horrid moves though, so that’s a plus. Also, I like when the heels win the opening match. It makes the faces winning later that much better.

We get a recap of what happened on Heat, which is both Kurt and Stephanie arriving. I might as well explain the backstory here. Kurt had been flat out hitting on Stephanie for weeks but nothing ever came of it. Three days prior to this on Smackdown, there was a match where Kurt and HHH were in it at the same time. I think it was a tag but I don’t remember. Either way, Stephanie got knocked down and ala Hulk and Liz from 1989, Kurt took her to the locker room.

He kept apologizing and eventually kissed her, which she seemed to like. Anyway, both of them get here tonight with Kurt getting there first. Coach (in 2000? REALLY?) asks both of them questions which aren’t answered. Once Stephanie gets there, she asks if HHH has shown up yet and is told no. She hears that Kurt is here and asks which way he went. He went to the left, so Stephanie goes to the right.

Shane is being interviewed about Stephanie, but Steve Blackman, his opponent for later is near him and he runs off.

And now, submitted for your appreciation, following the frustration which led to a separation and then this altercation which spells the decimation of the degeneration, here is the initiation which I hope isn’t an abomination.

Sorry when Road Dogg starts talking that just comes over me. Anyway, DX has split and this is the result if you don’t speak rhyme.

Road Dogg vs. X-Pac

Short version: they’ve been fighting and Pac accidentally knocked Road Dogg through a table on Raw Monday night. We see a clip of these two against Taker in a handicap match, and Taker’s outfit is I guess leather pants and a Taker t-shirt. I’m not sure if I like it or not but it’s just very different looking. As we’re under way, Ross says that there are people that consider these two to be one of the best tag teams of all time.

I’m not sure if I should go with the X-Pac doesn’t look like Billy Gunn joke, or the how blind are you people joke. Either way, that’s just preposterous and….and….and that’s a hard word to rhyme so I’ll just skip it. It’s odd to think of but out of these two, Road Dogg is pretty comparable to X-Pac as far as their overall resumes go.

He has 7 tag title reigns (two were in TNA) and an IC and Hardcore title reign, while Pac has some cruiser/light heavyweight reigns and two Euro titles to go with 4 tag titles that only two of which are even remembered. I’ll take an IC reign over two Euros any day, but that’s a different point all together. The fans don’t like this for some reason, which is odd as it’s not a bad match at all.

I guess this is the famous X-Pac heat? I actually think that’s what it is as that was happening when he was in control but the fans are into it when he’s getting beaten up. Both guys were built up as faces coming into this though, so he’s not supposed to be the heel here. Granted the low blow that he uses to set up the X-Factor would suggest otherwise. That ends the match. He of course has to grab a mic though, and says there’s no hard feelings.

Dogg doesn’t and hits the pump handle. X-Pac I guess just turned heel? If he did it was horrid. Road Dogg was actually pretty over here, which is why I’ll never get why he never got a solid push. He was good in the ring, he was WAY over and he could talk. That sounds like the makings of a decent push to me.

Rating: C-. It just wasn’t there for me. It’s not bad, but it’s just not that interesting. In a match like this, someone needs to make the big heel turn before the match. Now Dogg’s best strength was on the mic so turning him would make no sense, as he needs to talk to get over as well as he does. The fans already hate Waltman, so I think he’s your guy. Either way, this just didn’t do it for me and while it was ok, it’s just ok and that’s not good in my eyes.

Eddie and Chyna are talking as Chyna is apparently more or less going to wrestle in a bikini. I’ve made my stance clear on Chyna from this era, so I’ll save the drooling for later. We cut to Val and Trish’s locker room, which is a partnership that I don’t remember at all. Trish is babbling about how she should be a centerfold before Chyna is, which is foreshadowing the Playboy shoot that was coming for Chyna. Val says that’s not important but the IC Title is.

IC Title: Trish/Val Venis vs. Chyna/Eddie Guerrero

Just like at last year’s Summerslam when Santino and Beth won the titles, this is for the IC where whomever gets the fall winning the belt. So yeah I guess somehow Trish could win the title here. Ok according to Ross if Trish wins, nothing changes. Well that’s nonsense. Lawler comments on the name graphics on the screen, thinking it’s someone knocking. That’s actually accurate.

The guys start us out as I think gender vs. gender is legal here. It’s very weird hearing the announcers talk about Trish being horrible in the ring and needing all kinds of help to do basic things. After a decent sequence between the guys Chyna comes in and easily holds her own against Val. She was something incredibly special to say the least.

No Trish yet as Val stops the tag to Eddie, spitting at him. The problem is that it costs him as he takes a low blow and a DDT. The tag brings in Eddie as we still have no hot Canadian. Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Eddie. We get a shot of Trish and it blows my mind that they found someone as beautiful as her with the ability she had.

Trish finally comes in and of course has nothing at all. Chyna comes in to feast on her for a bit, which is probably not the best wording at all but who cares? Val stops the handspring elbow that I want to smack Muta for making a staple of Diva matches. Eddie intercepts Val and it’s girl on girl. Guess how that goes for the blonde. Press slam drop makes Chyna the champion.

Rating: D+. A lot of that rating is for the hotness factor. It’s really hard to believe that Trish was actually this bad at one point. The match was ok, but I’ve never liked matches like these. If nothing else, get another Canadian (Test maybe?) and just have a fatal four way. You can get the same result and you have a better wrestler on top of that. However, Chyna looked ridiculously hot and Trish was gorgeous as well, so that’s enough for a passing grade.

We see a party at WWF New York with Cole and Foley hosting. Some others show up and it ends with Foley dancing with Too Cool and singing with Rock. This had to be one of the coolest ideas ever, but there was no way to keep it working well.

Stephanie proves why she might be the worst actress of all time as she talks about Kurt’s kiss with the makeup lady.

We get a recap of Tazz vs. Lawler. More or less Tazz was ticked off at JR for saying Tazz was a thug, which was what Tazz always called himself. Lawler defended him, and we get this out of it. This was actually a pretty decently built up feud I thought, with Tazz beating up JR in a car and then Lawler afterwards. It’s better than it sounds.

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler

During the car attack Ross’ eye was hurt and Tazz makes fun of that on his way there, which is actually pretty funny. He really was an underrated performer. I also love how everything can be forgiven by a simple face turn in wrestling. Lawler in white boots just looks weird for some reason. Teddy Long is the referee as you never know who you’ll see in a match sometimes.

Lawler of course is beating the heck out of him at first only to get caught later on. JR is so pro King it’s sad, although the storyline goes that way so it makes sense. Tazz goes up and tries what I guess we would call a Swanton Bomb, but it misses, Lawler pulls the strap down and piledrives Tazz, but he’s up before Lawler is. Ref gets bumped. Now if I know Lawler, and I’ve seen a lot of his stuff, I’m betting on an international object being hidden in his tights.

Anyone want to take a bet on that with me? Actually I’m wrong as Lawler gets choked out, but Ross slams a candy jar into Tazz’s head to break it up and let Lawler pin him. The odd thing is, and I’m guess this is what inspired it, at Wrestlemania that year Tazz got hit in the face with a candy jar like that in a hardcore match and it damaged his eye.

If I remember the reports correctly, it was Tazz that was supposed to get Benoit’s push. Now there’s something to think about. Another thing to think about: I like Lawler’s music.

Rating: C+. This was a simple storyline that needed a simple resolution and that’s what we got here. Lawler is always dependable in the ring and this was no exception. Ross getting involved is a nice little treat that you rarely see, although he likely should have been fired in kayfabe for that. Anyway, this was just a fun short match to let the old guys have a nice moment, and there’s nothing wrong with taking ten minutes, including the lead in and intros etc., to do that on a three hour show.

Lillian, who is A, somehow STILL not the ring announcer and B, looking WAY hotter with curled hair, tries to talk to Shane but he runs again because of Blackman, and their match is next.

Hardcore Title: Steve Blackman vs. Shane McMahon

Shane runs to the ring holding the belt. As he’s running we see how he won it, which was using the 24/7 rule and the help of Edge, Christian, Test and Albert. That’s how much of a hardcore god Blackman was at the time. Anyway, Shane is running scared here as he finally has to defend it. The bell rings twice, so I guess the match never actually happens, but why am I using logic in the WWF?

In a funny spot Shane and Blackman play pass the kendo stick, but in a cool spot, Blackman grabs the stick out of Shane’s hands mid swing and beats him with it. That looked quite cool actually. This is in the ring all of 8 seconds and JR and King are making Survivor references, as at the time that was the hottest show in the world. Now it’s still big I guess, but has anyone watched it in forever? This is a total beatdown so far as Blackman is just killing Shane.

I completely mark out as a garbage can is put on Shane and Blackman beats him half to death with sticks, allowing JR to say that it reminded him of Max Weinberg and the Max Weinberg 7. That was just flat out awesome as we get a Conan reference on Summerslam. That is just so freaking sweet. Anyway, nerd boy moment over. Leather strap is brought in and tied to Shane, which is always fun.

We need more Texas Bullrope matches, and I mean the touch four corners kind. Shane is more or less hogtied in a submission hold that looks SICK, but Test and Albert run in for the save. JR goes through the history of Shane and Test and Stephanie which sounds like it’s a parody of a soap opera that it’s so cheesy. The sweet elbow of Test hits Steve so this match is a success.

They fight up to the entrance where Blackman is able to beat up the muscle guys, but Shane keeps running. However, he runs out of places to run, so he climbs one of the towers. What happens next is freaking scary, as Shane goes probably 30-35 feet up (of course called 50-75 by JR, since 25 feed is such an easy mistake to make in a place that small).

Blackman follows and slams him in the back with a kendo stick until Shane falls the whole way in a shot that looks awesome. Blackman climbs down about 10 feet before dropping an elbow/leg onto Shane then covering him for the title. Ross tries to compare it to Foley’s Cell dive, and I just shake my head. BIG difference between landing on a table and then concrete and falling backwards onto a crash pad there fat boy.

Rating: B. Not even factoring in the huge spot at the end, this was a standard enjoyable hardcore match, with all kinds of weapons and Shane getting beaten up. They tried so hard to make Blackman a big deal here, but the problem was the division was just a novelty, and Blackman was gone soon after this if I remember correctly. I know he was gone by the Invasion which was less than a year away.

In a scene that cracks me up, Stephanie is freaking over Shane, but isn’t near him, despite him being in the same building. Her not even leaving her room just makes me laugh. Kurt comes in to hug her and Foley, who for no reason at all is wearing a Minnesota Twins jersey, comes in and says that Stephanie should go check on Shane, which apparently she couldn’t figure out on her own?

We get a recap of Benoit vs. Jericho. Good grief this was intense. The video package is really well done as you can see that these two just want to go at it. It’s clear they’re the future along with Angle and the company knew it, which is always a good thing. The match is 2/3 falls by the way.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

You really don’t even need a story here with guys of this level, but the basic story is they don’t like each other. There it is, and I like it better that way. Who needs a big elaborate story? They knew that these two would put on a clinic so why over complicate things? They of course start hot with them both going to the corner and in a spot that you don’t often see, all three including the referee go through the ropes and crash on the floor.

That’s not something you see often but I like it. The WOO on the chops is always fun to hear. Now we get to something that I just don’t like. Benoit gets the crossface and Jericho taps in something like four minutes. Ok, now I get that it’s 2/3 falls and Jericho should want to keep the amount of damage he takes to a minimum. Heck, Lawler flat out says that it would be smart to tap here. I get that.

However, no matter how you want to say it, Benoit beat Jericho in like 4 minutes. Isn’t there some better way to do this? Couldn’t you do the first fall at like 9 minutes into the match? It’s not like this is going to be a five minute match or anything, so what’s the rush? I really don’t get that as it makes Benoit look capable of making Jericho tap with no difficulty and it makes Jericho look kind of weak.

I get the giving up quickly, but don’t make Jericho look like he has no defense at all for the hold. Rant over. Second fall starts immediately which is good as I’ve always hated the whole rest thing. This isn’t boxing. The stupidity of the end of the first fall is compounded here as Benoit immediately puts the hold back on and Jericho gets to the ropes. See what I mean? Why wouldn’t you just reverse that sequence?

He gets out the first time and then later on he can’t because his shoulder is hurting from the first time in the hold. Doesn’t that make a bit more sense? In something quite surprising, Benoit somewhat abandons psychology. They make it clear that the seconds crossface is focused more on the back, but after having that one on much longer, Benoit works on the neck and shoulder. Wouldn’t it make more sense to go after what was more injured?

I guess since he got the tap on the neck/shoulder he should go to it again, but then why would he change what got a tap in the first place? Wouldn’t it make sense that if a little pain made him tap more pain would make him tap again? Dang when did I start thinking like this? Anyway, the holds that Benoit is using here are freaking sick looking.

We get the comeback from Jericho though as he just starts throwing these big haymaker right hands. I’ve never seen him throw punches like this but they’re working for him. We get a nice wrestling sequence that ends up with Jericho getting the Liontamer, not the Walls but the Liontamer on Benoit for the tap out. These two have perhaps the most lethal looking submissions ever. Might have to have a thread about that in the near future.

This is why I like doing these threads. I get good ideas from them. They go into a fast sequence of counters and big moves, with the big one being Jericho hitting a hurricanrana from the top and after a two a lionsault but due to the shoulder he can’t cover.

They do several rollups but Benoit gets a small package near the corner and grabs the bottom rope to get the win. Apparently this was enough to get Benoit in the main event of Unforgiven, as he had just lost in the main event at Fully Loaded to Rock a month prior to this.

Rating: A. This was great stuff. The first two falls were both good enough, but they tore it up in the third one. It was exactly what you would expect from these two and it absolutely delivered on all levels. Somehow, this might not be the best that these two have had so good grief. How insane were these two, especially when you add in Kurt? Thank goodness the company got these three right.

HHH is just now arriving, so we hit the recap button on the Stephanie/Kurt interaction from earlier tonight, as well as the Smackdown kiss. This really has no bearing on anything, as we’re off to our next match.

We get the story of the three teams, which more or less is this: Edge and Christian hit the other four guys with chairs, they beat up Edge and Christian with ladders and tables, so let’s put all 6 guys and three weapons in one match and make it for the tag titles. Now you 6, go tear the freaking house down.

Tag Titles: Dudleyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

In case you didn’t get it, this is the first TLC match. Tables and ladders and chairs, oh my, for all you Wizard of Oz aficionados out there. I’ve always liked the incoming missile thing that they did for the Dudleys entrance. The glasses need to come back for Bubba too. Oh yeah this is in North Carolina, so the Hardys get a small explosion. Chairs are in play quickly. Bear with me here as I’ve never tried to do one of these, so this could be a bit tricky.

Matt just pelts the thing at Bubba which sounds sick. The opening here is just a wild brawl all around, and what else were you expecting? However, you can tell they have a lot of this planned out, and there’s not a thing wrong with that. The big spots at least make sense here, unlike some matches with gimmicks where it’s just big spot after big spot and it rarely works out that well.

In another, say it with me, SICK spot, Jeff is climbing the ladder but Edge knocks him off. Now that doesn’t sound like much, but he lands on a ladder that’s on its side, so his ribs slam into the leg of it. This sea saws the other end up which slams Matt in the face. What’s Up leads to D-Von being given a fairly famous command.

You know I’ve always wondered what would happen if D-Von pulled a Punk and just said no. “D-Von, GET THE TABLES!” No jerk. You ran out when we were at IHOP last night and I had to pay for your 14 pancakes. Get your own tables you big fat butter ball! To make room, someone picks up a ladder and just throws it at Jeff, covering him up with ladders and chairs. We get a new shout from Bubba: D-Von! We’re gonna kill them! Yeah, that’s not over the top at all.

Edge lands three of the loudest and most painful looking chair shots in a row. Those things were just freaking intense. In another huge spot, Jeff does the twenty foot swanton and of course, misses. Edge is a freaking master with those chairs. Bubba is sent through four tables, leaving E/C alone to get the belts. However, Lita sprints to ringside and shoves them both off.

After various other amounts of destruction, including Edge just laying Lita out with a freaking great spear, Jeff and D-Von go up, but the ladder goes out and they’re stuck hanging there. D-Von goes down, so Edge and Christian more or less harpoon him with a ladder, then climb up and get the belts to retain. Kind of a not great ending, but DANG. Bubba is screwed up bad.

Rating: A-. This was a wild mess of a match, but dang. These six knew what they had to do and they nailed it. It was a wild match with all kinds of crazy bumps and wild spots. The scariest thing of all: this will be blown away in April by TLC 2. If you don’t get excited watching this, I feel you’re no longer alive.

Since we haven’t seen enough of this one story tonight, HHH is yelling at Stephanie about the kiss. You know, Rock hasn’t even been mentioned tonight. This is why the one on one would have been better and then find someone else to plug into the main event. Maybe do the fatal fourway that they did next month here. Oh yeah Steph says the kiss meant nothing.

Oh and since we just had an amazing match, let’s completely kill the momentum.

Stinkface Match: Kat vs. Terr

I think you get the idea by the name alone, and yes, it’s as bad as it sounds. Kat, who was married to Lawler in real life but was released soon thereafter, comes out with Al Snow for no apparent reason to a weak version of Sable’s music. Terri comes out with Saturn and just strips on the way in.

That’s just the best way to be: just accept your status. You know, I hate these things. There’s no point, there’s no skill, and it’s just flat out stupid. You know what? Screw this. This is stupid and it’s not worth my time. Kat wins.

Rating: F-. I’m not 12 years old. This means nothing to me, and it was a complete waste of time. They couldn’t give the tag titles an extra five minutes, but they can do this. Unbelievable.

APA is in WWF New York as bartenders. That would just be cool to do.

Recap of Taker and Kane. This just amuses me. It started with Kane saving Taker from Benoit, which good night I would have loved to see a real feud between those two. Anyway, within seconds of Kane saving him, he turns heel and beats up Taker. For some reason, this amazes JR and Cole. Why? Why does that amaze you?

It’s not like HE DOES THAT EVERY FREAKING TIME HE UNITES WITH TAKER or anything like that. These two fight more often than Sly and I do, and nothing is ever resolved. Anyway, of course we have this match here tonight. Oh and Kane beat up Taker with a chair a few days ago or something.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Taker is the American here and comes out first which is a little weird. His pop is insane to put it mildly. Taker just goes down the aisle and fights him early. Based on the commentary, you know this is going to be short. I wonder if one of them was hurt. In something almost weird for some reason, Taker is going for the mask. As JR says, has anyone ever done that? Not that I remember at least.

I guess it’s no holds barred as Kane brings in a chair and nothing happens. The announcers touch on this as they say the referee has said he’s just going to let them go, That kind of makes sense, as it’s not like he can do anything to either guy to stop them. Taker actually gets about half of Kane’s mask off. Kane messes up and slams the stairs into his own face, followed by Taker just picking them up and throwing the stairs at Kane, which is more or less impossible to fake.

Kane is bleeding bad after the stairs. By bad I mean terribly fake looking as the blood is closer to pink than red. Taker with a freaking spear, and actually a pretty good one. They both set for a chokeslam but Taker just kicks him in the balls. He rips the mask off and Kane runs, ending this…match? His long hair and hand covers it up. Taker’s music plays as JR asks if the bell ever rang.

Rating: B. I LOVED this. It was more or less a long segment, but who cares? This was just Taker being ticked off, and when that happens, it works very well. At the end of it Kane was just getting beaten up and Taker looked awesome. This is what it should have been and it went off well. It’s not like they were trying to top Mania 14, and they shouldn’t have.

Kurt is in the back, not in wrestling gear which is bad because his match is next. He calls someone, and we cut to HHH and Stephanie. Of course the phone rings and Stephanie pretends it’s Linda. HHH asks to talk to her, but “Linda” hangs up. Stephanie looks like a goddess in the graphic to put it mildly.

We get the same recap that we’ve seen five times tonight, so I won’t bother with the story all over again.

WWF Title: Rock vs. HHH vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is dressed in record time and weighs in at 229lbs. That’s light even for him. He says that he’s sorry he didn’t kiss her earlier. As he’s known for doing, he puts his foot in his mouth and says that he gave Stephanie more passion that HHH ever could. HHH comes out and to say he’s mad is the understatement of the millennium. They start without Rock, or I should say HHH starts without him.

Rock is smart and doesn’t come out for a few minutes. They hit the announce table and HHH sets for a Pedigree, but the table breaks early and Angle is legit hurt. It’s worse than Lesnar’s face was after the shooting star. I mean he is gone. HHH pulls the hammer but he can’t hit him, IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLll What the Rock is cooking! That music is just freaking awesome.

Since Kurt is injured, we pretty much have Rock vs. HHH, which has been the main event all summer, so it’s not like this is a bad thing. HHH beats Rock down just a bit and runs after the EMTs who are taking Angle out on a stretcher to beat on him a bit more. Rock sprints down the aisle and perhaps literally saves Kurt. They brawl back to the ring and Stephanie comes out to check on Kurt.

Stephanie, clad in ridiculously tight leather pants, comes down and gets yelled at by HHH. She runs over to grab the belt and lands a running slap to the timekeeper that is just hilarious to say the least. She misses and hits HHH though. Seriously, that running slap was GREAT. It just came off as hilarious on about 1000 levels. Game comes back with a low blow though, and that’s the end of my rhyming.

Lawler makes a nose joke about HHH which just seems out of place here. Sister Sledge comes back into play here, as HHH nails Rock with it in the ribs. JR has a small seizure about the hammer as he just shouts and shouts some more. After about eight minutes of these two nearly killing each other, we cut to Stephanie and Kurt in the back with her begging him to come save HHH. If they somehow faked that, I’d be amazed to say the least.

Although, Rock coming out at that exact second is a bit fishy. I’d think he’s legit hurt, but I guess there’s a slight chance that it was fake. They come back out again, with a great shot of Stephanie’s back. For about the 5th time in this match, HHH looks backwards to see if Kurt is there for his spot and it’s really getting bad. It’s so painfully obvious that it’s sad. Angle either wasn’t hurt or it wasn’t nearly as bad as they thought, or he’s completely nuts. He’s staggering all over the place.

The more I look at Kurt the more I think he was just shaken up. He’s moving around better every second and is doing moves that you’d need a lot of mental capacity to do. It’s him and Rock at the moment until HHH saves Angle from being pinned from a Rock Bottom. Stephanie gets back in again after Kurt brings a hammer back in to cause JR to need his medicine. HHH misses a punch and nails Steph, so Kurt nails him with the hammer.

Rock knocks Angle outside and lands the Elbow to retain. He grabs the belt and leaves, posing on the Summerslam set as Angle carries Stephanie out to end the show. Angle would take the title from Rock two months later and hold it until No Way Out.

Rating: B. This was a fine match, as it was mainly HHH vs. Rock, which is always solid. I’m still not sure if Angle was hurt or not, but if he wasn’t then he deserves a raise. This was good enough, but I’m not sure if it’s good enough to be a main event of a major show. I stand by what I said about how it should have been Angle vs. HHH and maybe Rock vs. Taker or Kane as that angle was thrown together in about 10 days. Either way, this was fine.

BUT WAIT!

My version has a post show segment in studio with Coach, so I’ll throw this in as a bonus. Coach, with more hair on his head and less on his face, is going through all of the matches in a highlight package and introducing some of the wrestlers for interviews. Cool.

RTC says they had fun censoring Too Cool, including a Bull Buchanan speech, which is interesting, as he has a thick southern accent. Richards clearly should have been the only one to talk.

Coach doesn’t like RTC. He skips X-Pac and Road Dogg for no apparent reason and jumps to the IC match.

Chyna and Eddie are both happy that she’s the champion and she couldn’t do it without Eddie. This would lead to a pretty simple yet decent angle with them semi feuding over th belt.

Tazz says that the path of rage is coming back. Actually that’s not true as he was turned face very soon.

Coach doesn’t like Tazz.

Blackman actually cuts a promo, saying that the belt is back around his waist when it’s on his shoulder, and that Shane walked away, when he was actually stretchered out. And we wonder why he wasn’t allowed to talk.

Benoit says that he has made his point.

Coach doesn’t like Benoit but he respects him.

Recap of TLC, which is just sweet all over.

Edge and Christian say they’ll be ok. They actually sound like they lost if you just listen to their words.

Women’s match. Moving on.

Taker says he’s the big dog in the yard, which became a semi catchphrase for him. He tells Kane to never cross him again, leaves, and then comes back to swear. That’s just comical.

Finally, we recap the main event. No interviews here.

I liked this actually. It’s perfect for a home video as it offers a little bonus reason to buy the tape with the exclusive interviews. It’s a nice little addition and it’s only about 10 minutes long, so it’s not bogged down. I like it.

Overall Rating: A. This is a VERY good show, and bordering on classic. The only thing possibly is the main event, which likely should have been Rock vs. HHH or HHH vs. Angle for the title with Rock doing something else. Either way, the show is just great all around with only the women’s match being terrible.

Other than that, everything is good to great. Definitely a big time recommendation here as it was just flat out awesome. Find a copy of this and watch it all, as only about 5 minutes is bad. GREAT show.




ECW – The Night The Line Was Crossed – This Show Started It All……Kind Of

The Night The Line Was Crossed
Date: February 5, 1994
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,000
Commentator: Joey Styles

So this is it. This is allegedly the show where everything came together for ECW and became AWESOME. I’ve heard great things about the triple threat main event and I’ve heard it’s incredibly overrated. I’ve never seen it before so we’ll see if it’s either of them. I tend to hate triple threats in general so I wouldn’t put much stock in me liking this one either. Other than that not a ton matters as it’s about two hours and ten minutes long and the main event is an hour even. Let’s get to it.

Tod (and yes that’s how it’s spelled onscreen) Gordon says ECW is insane and therefore may not be appropriate for everyone. That was their tagline back in the day and it’s either brilliant or stupid.

Mr. Hughes vs. Sal Bellomo

This is the home video version so Chad Austin vs. 911 is left out. The arena is more or less dark here and it comes off as rather weird looking. Hughes is famous as the bodyguard character while Bellomo is just weird. I smell a squash here. Hughes and Jason come out to bad rap music. Let’s get this over with please. Bellomo looks like Hagrid from Harry Potter if that gives you any idea of what he looks like.

Sal goes for the arm and it doesn’t work at all. Hughes is pure heel here but it getting killed. Hughes is one of the few guys to play exactly the same character for the vast majority of his career and to never change a thing. It’s nothing special at all, but to be a bodyguard character this long is saying something. Now if only I knew what that was. Joey says the punches he throws are from St. Louis, Missouri. That’s a decent line if he’s from there. Shame it’s Kansas City. A HORRIBLE Boss Man Slam ends it.

Rating: D. Total squash that went too long. I never got the appeal of Bellomo but he was pushed forever here. He was a glorified jobber in the 80s in the WWF and he’s a big deal in ECW. There are his career highlights. This was a bad opener to say the least.

Sandman/Tommy Cairo vs. Pitbull/Rockin Rebel

This is a dog collar chain match. Sandman is getting more ticked off at this point but is still a beach guy. Jason is managing Pitbull #1 (Gary Wolfe) for you ECW fans that care. Wolfe and Cairo are chained together as are the other combination. They might have been in the ring for 6 seconds and then they hit the floor. Rebel is busted open and I think Cairo is too. Well that didn’t take long.

It’s more general insanity but unlike the last show I did the cameras can actually zoom in a bit. You can barely see things but it’s better than not being able to see at all. You can tell who is who here and you can tell what they’re doing. Pitbull gets two in the ring on Cairo. A bunch of violence leads to Cairo pinning Pitbull with a belly to belly. More brawling follows.

Rating: D+. Not terrible I guess and there seemed to be a reason for this….whatever it was. Sandman would start his transformation soon enough and make himself an ECW legend, changing the company forever. At this point he was terrible though, as were the other three so there you are.

Bruise Brothers vs. Public Enemy

The Bruise Brothers are the Harris Twins in gimmick number 3948. They have long hair here and would be in WWF soon enough. This is more brawling and anything goes stuff which is in the crowd immediately. I think I sense a theme building here. About a minute in all four guys disappear as the camera work is making my head hurt. Joey talks about how you’re only going to see this stuff in Philly. Is that a good thing I guess?

ALL Bruise Brothers here which isn’t likely to last long. Joey points out that this isn’t wrestling but rather a street fight. The announcer says we’re five minutes in. Yeah that’s really what I care about right now. That’s the NWA for you: make sure we follow TRADITION of telling us how long we’re going and bring us out of the possible adrenaline rush that this match is supposed to bring.

Rock gets slammed on Joey’s table and he has a freaking heart attack over it which is always amusing. Joey is obsessed with what the Harris’ home is like. Grunge throws some powder in one of their eyes. A 2×4 shot ends it as the Public Enemy stay dominant in ECW and I’d bet undefeated.

Rating: D. This was just too insane and it hurt things a lot I think. Nothing of note happened here and after the first big brawl, this looked a lot weaker. It was fine for a brawl, but brawling can only get you so far, which is a lesson this company never wanted to learn.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Jimmy Snuka

Snuka is EVIL here and Dreamer is a pure rookie. I’ve seen this before somewhere. Dreamer is from Dreamland USA. Wow indeed. He’s the pretty boy in bright blue tights here and no one cares about him. Snuka is by far the biggest star in the company at this point. Joey promises a classic. That’s never a good sign. Dreamer is 22, my age, here. That’s hard to imagine as he’s always been old.

Lots of stalling to start as we just had to stretch this show out further didn’t we? Dreamer puts on the hat of a kid for no apparent reason. After about three minutes of stalling we lock up and go to a headlock. And now we stall some more. I thought WE WRESTLE IN THE NWA! The fans chant for Piper although I’m not sure why. Would it kill you guys to do something?

Snuka pops him with a pretty weak chair shot on the floor in by far the most interesting move of the match so far. Dreamer kicks out of the Superfly Splash and Joey apparently thinks he can walk on water too. Snuka hits two more of them and Dreamer is more or less dead. He’s bleeding from the mouth and Snuka finally pins him. He beats up some referees and other people afterwards and hits a fourth splash on Dreamer. Gordon comes out and gets beaten up too.

Rating: F+. This was about 80% stalling and then a bunch of splashes. It was like a weird kind of squash and by that I mean it wasn’t any good. The stalling is what hurts this as it’s nearly 8 minutes long and WAY too much of it was just them standing around and yelling at the crowd. Snuka wouldn’t mean anything in the long run anyway as he was only around for a few months after this while Dreamer became one of the biggest stars in the company.

Kevin Sullivan/Tazmaniac vs. Original Sheik/Pat Tanaka

Sullivan/Taz are tag champions but the belts are being held up for some reason. This could be brutally bad and likely will be. Woman in a suit is oddly sexy actually. Taz is insane here and looks like a caveman. Tanaka is in street clothes just because he can be. Sullivan is bleeding 9 seconds in which might be a record even for him. Tanaka has a bad ankle so while the guys with S’s in their name fight Taz goes for a half crab.

The wide shots during brawls are really annoying. Sheik is 66 years old here and this is the first recorded match I can find for him in 13 years. He throws a fireball at Taz and Tanaka pins him. Yeah that’s it.

Rating: N/A. This was really short and really bad. Yeah….the whole 66 year old in a match this is pretty stupid. Somehow Flair isn’t that far off from it. He’s light years ahead of this though. Sheik and Sullivan fight even more for a little while.

JT Smith vs. Mike Awesome

This would be a squash in the regular ECW. Here it’s going to be a squash but with a different ending. If you want to see an example of why Awesome is so beloved, watch this match as he’s INSANE but great. He never lets up at all and hits a great over the top rope dive to nearly kill Smith. And then the hometown boy rolls him up for a pin in his only offense all night. Referee gets beaten up anyway. He goes for the splash and breaks the freaking ring ropes.

Rating: N/A. Total squash for Awesome and he lost anyway. He would go to Japan soon after and other than one other time in 94, wouldn’t be seen in ECW until 97. He would wrestle five times there and then would go winless in 1998. FINALLY in 1999 Heyman realized he had something amazing and made him world champion.

Shane Douglas vs. Sabu

This is a #1 contenders match and the title match will take place immediately afterwards. Heyman runs out with a phone and blasts Shane’s manager, Sherri, to take her out. With over an hour to go, this is the main event, and yes it’s that long. Joey has audio trouble so while he’s shouting you can’t understand a word of it. You can hear the crowd so clearly my audio is working.

Ah there he is. If there’s no winner here then it’s a three way for the title. The time limit here is only 15 minutes so I’m not expecting much. 911 is on the floor with Heyman as it’s all Shane at this point. Sabu hits a spinning kick which is really just an elbow as the foot never gets close. That’s par for the course with him though so there we are. Five minutes in and this is one sided. The king of Bombay, Michigan works the right arm of all things and the fans want Funk.

Dang he really is cranking on that thing and it looks great. The arm work goes on for a very long time. Shane gets out with an FU of all things. Man Cena if you’re going to use the same moves at least don’t copy them. Dang dude. Ten minutes in and it’s not bad so far. Shane with a big boot? What the heck??? He’s not even tall enough for that but whatever.

We hit the floor with three minutes left. It’s pretty clear that Funk is going to be involved here. It’s not like that was a real secret or anything. Sabu gets a chair on the floor and it results in Shane being on a table. Good thing Sabu misses it completely and lands in the crowd. Sabu is more or less dead with 30 seconds left. For no apparent reason Shane doesn’t cover him and here’s Terry.

ECW Title: Shane Douglas vs. Terry Funk vs. Sabu

Ok so is this 60 minutes or are Shane and Sabu going 75? Sabu leaves, I guess with an injury and it’s Shane vs. Terry. Given that we have less than an hour in the tape and there are post match interviews, the whole thing is an hour but Funk only has to go 45. Ok then. Funk hits a piledriver on the floor but we can’t see all of it since it’s not on the camera side. To be fair the same thing happened at the end of the 94 Rumble so that’s a thing of the times and not ECW.

Funk hits a pair of DDTs in the ring (one like a football being spiked and one being like a basketball being bounced according to Joey). Terry wants a chair so about 6 people throw them in. They get piled up and Shane takes ANOTHER DDT on them. Seriously that’s all we’ve had from Funk so far: DDTs and a piledriver. Shane manages to beat Funk to his feet after that DDT which is odd.

Shane beats on Funk who now has a bad back it seems. This is moving REALLY slowly and nothing of note is happening. We had a long stretch of brawling in the audience and nothing of note happened. Douglas mixes things up with a DDT of his own. How innovative! All Shane here as Funk is busted open. The referee goes down at some point and this is literally putting me to sleep.

They slug it out for a bit and then head into the crowd. We’re 30 minutes in here and are in the crowd. This has been far from great like it’s built up to be. For some reason the arena looks like it’s full of smoke. So yeah the whole one hour three way dance thing is pretty much nonsense. Ah here’s Sabu FINALLY after being gone about fifteen minutes. Funk comes up towards the announce table and steals a mic, Joey’s in this case, thinking he’s yelling at the crowd and therefore the guys in the ring. The problem is that he’s yelling into Joey’s mic so only the people watching the tape can hear him. Brilliant.

We’re thirty five minutes in and Sabu is in a spinning toehold. 911 comes in and lets Heyman hit Funk with the phone (it’s Paul E. Dangerously but you get the idea). Terry gets a neckbreaker on the guy whose neck would be broken by Benoit later on but Heyman saves again. The triple sleeper spot hits which is either creative or idiotic. I’m not sure why it would be idiotic but it has that feeling to it. Again, no idea why.

Now it’s basically who can get the longest leg lock on Sabu. Shane puts on a Figure Four, but remember that Ric Flair is a horrible man. We hit 40 minutes and Heyman saves Sabu again. Sabu botches the heck out of a springboard moonsault. Sherri is in the ring for no apparent reason. Axl and Ian Rotten come out to help Funk as Shane gets two on Sabu. Sabu botches a rana and Terry leaves. Yeah…..this whole triple threat has been a triple threat for about 3 minutes out of almost 45.

A springboard legdrop hits Shane in a clip from Rise and Fall of ECW. And here are the Rottens to beat up both guys again. This is making my head hurt. We’re 45 minutes in so I only have 15 minutes left. Joey says 15 minutes left in what match? So somehow we’ve gone from Terry Funk vs. Shane vs. Sabu to Shane/Sabu vs. the Rotten Brothers. Sabu fights the Rottens to the back and Shane is alone in the ring. He just stands there and here comes Sabu….oh never mind he has to fight one of the Rottens again first.

Funk comes back, as do Paul, 911 and Ian Rotten. And now there’s no one in the ring. Hat Guy is back by the concession areas and Funk vs. Shane spills outside. This must have been RIVETING for the live crowd with no video screens. And Funk beats up the referee. Joey tries not to laugh while asking why. With ten minutes left Shane and Terry are beating each other up and we now get the clock going again on how long can all three guys be in the ring for. So far out of 50 minutes I’d guess it’s about 9 minutes.

Sabu hits a top rope moonsault and Funk’s knee is hurt. Joey says the match was over 15-20 minutes ago. To quote him, what match? Shane vs. Terry? Shane vs. Sabu? Sabu/Shane vs. the Rottens? Terry vs. one of them? Sherri vs. the laws of time and gravity? The referee stays dead for the better part of ever. He must have been watching the match.

Five more minutes and the fans suddenly get that this is going to a draw. Another new match breaks out with Terry beating up Sherri. Four minutes left and nothing at all is happening. The bald Heyman is knocked out by Shane. Let’s see: Rottens, Sherri, 911, Heyman….yeah I think that’s all. We’ve only had five run-ins so far. Three minutes and we’re out of here (the clock is ticking and we’re in the clear).

Sherri’s boot gets used a lot as Joey makes me angry by saying this is like Piper vs. Valentine from 1983. The camera goes black for a minute and we have two minutes left. Funk beats up Heyman for no good reason. Less than a minute to go and the referee has now been out over ten minutes from a single headbutt. Can we get this guy some medical attention? Two near falls within the last five seconds and that’s it. The fans give them a standing ovation for absolutely no deserved reason. This was bad…..like very bad.

Rating: D+. Cue X and jmt to come in here and explain why I just hate ECW and will never get what it’s about. While that may be true, I know a bad match. This wasn’t horrible and there have been far worse matches, but for this to be considered a classic or even a very good match is a freaking joke. This “hour long triple threat” is more like a 15 minute triple threat, two fifteen minute singles matches, a 4 minute tag match and a bunch of standing around. Sabu was SPENT about half an hour into this and he just laid on the mat for most of the time. I was bored to death watching this because the longest stretch where they’re all in the arena is about 8 minutes long. I have no idea what the standing ovation was for as this was just way too long and while it’s not horrible, it’s definitely not anywhere close to as good as it’s made out to be.

We get what are apparently famous interviews afterwards from all three guys. Terry is crying and says he loves wrestling but doesn’t like what it’s becoming. He hates what WCW is now….despite him going back there for a PPV in like 4 months. He also doesn’t like WWF….where he would be again in a few years. He puts over the company and says how great it is etc. He respects Shane and Sabu.

Heyman and Sabu come in (after Gordon thanks the guys for coming in from out of state for the press conference) and Sabu has to be held back by the security guards. Heyman claims a conspiracy and is just awesomely slick here. This goes nowhere but is kind of funny.

Shane comes in and says he should be champion because he’s the only guy that was out there for the whole hour. He has a point there, although he does claim to have smashed Funk’s knee into obliticry. Yeah it’s not a real word but whatever. Shane is FURIOUS here and here comes Terry for the big emotional showdown. Shane keeps saying he’s great and Funk doesn’t want to be called an old man. Terry hands him the belt and says it’ll be a great day when he takes it back from Shane since he’s not an old man. Shane throws it back at him and here we go again. This was good to set up the eventual one on one showdown where Shane would get the title.

Overall Rating: F+. This is it? This is the major show that got ECW noticed? Why? The best match is the overrated beyond belief triple threat and that’s decent at best. Other than that there is NOTHING here. Actually that’s not true. The post main event segments with Terry and then Terry/Shane were indeed very good.

If you cut about 30 minutes (including the opening 15 minute prematch thing) from the main event and cut out the Rottens and all the guys being carried out, this goes WAY up and I could see it being considered good. This show just wasn’t interesting at all though and the triple threat is just far too long and not very good. ECW would get a lot better in about a year though, so something worked. I don’t get the hype here at all. Now where’s X to complain about this?




NXT – August 2, 2011 – Matt Striker As A Wrestler?

NXT
Date: August 2, 2011
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: William Regal, Todd Grisham

We’re in week twenty-whatever here and there’s no sign of this wrapping up anytime soon. They at least have a story going here with the heels teaming up to take out the force of O’Neil, which is a lot better than what we’ve sat through for the majority of the season so far. More of the same tonight I’d assume. Let’s get to it.

This is being written on Wednesday, after I watched the show live last night.

We open with a recap of the last few weeks with O’Neil getting double teamed after dominating for months on end.

Here’s Titus minus the leprechaun. He thinks the alliance between the heels is cute. Titus says he’s the most dominant rookie ever so he’s not worried about Bateman or his family. During this promo Bateman’s video started playing but you can’t see it on the broadcast. Bateman and Young come out and Bateman points out that he beat O’Neil last week, which Titus agrees to. Young says he’s dominated NXT but Titus is in the points lead because he’s pandered to the fans.

Striker says that it’s not a bad strategy because the fans are 50% of the vote. Young says he doesn’t care because he doesn’t need the fans or a pro. Bateman says he and Young agree that Titus needs to go. Titus suggests a tag match and the heels agree, if they can pick the partner. Titus says cool, so they pick Striker. He protests, saying he hasn’t been in the ring in four years. The pop for this was a lot louder than it appears to be on TV.

JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Vladimir is “gangsta” here. To be fair he plays it pretty well and the fans laughed at this which is the idea. The tag is on the back of his jeans still. He does a decent JTG impression. Actually he doesn’t because Kozlov is kind of amusing and interesting like this which JTG never has been. They stare each other down and do the comedy bit where they mirror each other.

JTG jumps him as Grisham says this should have been at Wrestlemania. Thankfully he’s kidding because even he’s not that stupid. Kozlov catches him and hits a fallaway slam to put him outside. Back inside and JTG finally gets a boot up in the corner to break the Russian’s momentum. We take a break to advertise an old video game (by video game standards 4 months is old right?) and come back with Kozlov getting a kick to the ribs.

That doesn’t get him anywhere as JTG hits a decent middle rope dropkick for two. We get a lot of rest holds here and the fans always started clapping almost immediately for Vlad to get out of them. Impatient lot they are. Vlad with the grill on his teeth is kind of hilarious. JTG gets his facejam off the top (Mugshot) for two. That starts Kozlov’s comeback which results in a bunch of power moves. Powerslam sets up the Iron Curtain and we’re done at 7:42. I timed the match last night and it was 8:00 even so not much was cut out.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here but it wasn’t bad. The comedy aspect wasn’t bad but then it turned into just another match. The fans liked the comedy but then the match turned into JTG vs. Kozlov, which isn’t exactly a great match that will have the people on the edges of their seats you know?

Post match Kozlov takes Grisham’s phone and planks on JTG. Yeah it’s still not funny.

Raw ReBound. This didn’t air until between Superstars and NXT in the arena.

Tyson Kidd comes out and we get a clip of him beating up Yoshi last week. He talks about his heritage coming out of the Hart Dungeon. In his WWE, there’s no room for stupid shrines or Yoshi Tatsu. In his WWE, there’s only room for him.

Sheamus vs. Henry video. That line of “I’ll fight him” is great.

Derrick Bateman/Darren Young vs. Matt Striker/Titus O’Neil

Striker gets a pretty nice reaction. AJ, who looks about 12, comes out with Horny and they sit in on commentary. Titus and Bateman start us off. Horny starts a Bill Cosby impression for some reason. Or maybe that was AJ. Off to Striker after Titus dominates for a bit. The announcers point out that it’s kind of odd that Striker brings his boots with him when he hasn’t wrestled in four years but Regal says it’s normal. Ok then.

Striker does pretty well for himself and it’s back off to Titus. Horny is making his usual noises and Regal is chattering with him. Titus sends Bateman to the floor so Horny can bark. Thankfully that takes us to a break. Back with Striker holding a headlock on Young. Striker tries to speed things up but runs into an elbow in the corner.

Bateman throws on a chinlock as Horny is throwing M&Ms into AJ’s mouth. Regal says he got a Rosetta Stone course in Leprechaunese. I give up. Bateman pops O’Neil to break up a tag. Striker gets a chop in but a forearm takes him down for two. AJ doesn’t want to talk about her time on NXT. I can’t say I blame her. She has a good voice. Bateman goes up but crashes. Hot tag with a dive to Titus. Domination begins but the heels cheat to get a sunset flip. Striker breaks up the cheating and the Clash of the Titus ends Young at 11:06. That’s about right with my time.

Rating: C+. Not a horrible match here and Striker looked pretty good all things considered. The main issue he has is telegraphing moves as he does stuff that makes you ask “why would you do that?” Anyway for a guy out of the ring for four years, this was fine. Pretty fun little tag match and a nice moment I guess.

The faces celebrate and we get a decent line to end it. Grisham: “Give me a hug William.” Regal: “No.” The bluntness of it is great.

Overall Rating: C. I’ll go with ok for this one. The Striker thing was a nice way to tie this together, but the problem becomes that the voting and competition is almost forgotten about. They’re running in circles here and it’s not interesting anymore. At the end of the day there’s one problem: how many times can we see these guys fight? The answer seems to be A WHOLE FREAKING LOT.

Results

Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG – Iron Curtain

Titus O’Neil/Matt Striker b. Darren Young/Derrick Bateman – Clash of the Titus to Young




History of Summerslam Count-Up – 1999: THE BODY!

Summerslam 1999
Date: August 22, 1999
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 17,130
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well not much has changed since last year. Austin is still dominating the wrestling world, but he’d be injured very soon and get run over, leaving for a year. Tonight though, he’s facing the young stud known as HHH and Mankind in a triple threat for the belt. The only big change that’s happened is HHH and Rock have switched sides in the eternal struggle between heel and face.

Also, a lot of the Attitude Era favorites are here now, such as the APA, the hardcore title, the Big Show and Billy Gunn. Oh and Al Snow, but no one likes him. (Foley is my all time favorite. I couldn’t help it.) Angle has been there for about 4 months, Jericho has been there less than two weeks, debuting 13 days prior to this show, and Benoit and co. would show up at the end of January.

The big deal to this show is that there’s a special referee for the main event: the governor of the state of Minnesota, Jesse “The Body” Ventura!!!! This was huge at the time because he was in office at the time, so if nothing else it got a lot of mainstream publicity. Therefore, let’s get to this. Oh and one more thing: Smackdown would debut as a regular series four days after this.

We get a recap of guest referee history (coming soon to a history channel near YOU) which include Tyson and McMahon and McMahon Jr. HHH and Austin say they’ll beat up Jesse if they have to, but he says he has the power. Now we’re in the arena with a huge pyro show. Jesse is in the back with HHH and Chyna, saying that HHH has to follow the rules or he won’t be champion. We cut to Jericho from earlier today, waiting on someone. Harold Finkle comes running up and apologizes for being late.

IC/European Titles: D’Lo Brown vs. Jeff Jarrett

Yes, Brown has both titles. Jarrett comes out with Debra, who is in a bikini and a coat. He sends her back, much to the King’s dismay, but we see her with Brown who she accompanies to ringside instead. Ross tries to convince the people that the pop is for Brown and not Debra. Even I don’t buy that one Jimmy boy. They talk about Brown’s incredible weight loss as at one point he weighed over 400lbs, yet for this match he weighs in at about 250.

That really is not only impressive but should be applauded, if nothing else for the health aspect. Once again, the lady is the main focus of this match, or in this case her chest is. If her face wasn’t so unnatural looking, she’d be VERY hot instead of just having a huge chest. The match is short, yet interesting. We’re in the fast paced, more intense style that’s always fun. Here, Brown actually controls most of this, which isn’t something that you see very often actually.

Jarrett makes him look good, which is better because Jarrett would be gone within two months, heading back to WCW as a big name until they closed. Anyway, Debra gets on the apron, yet Jarrett grabs the guitar and yells at her. If he’s going to use the guitar and Debra is there, why not hit him while she has the referee? Anyway, Mark Henry runs out and helps Brown, only to nail him seconds later to give Jeff two titles. Debra wasn’t with Brown and it was a swerve, which is fine I guess. At least they didn’t’ try to make it something major.

Rating: B-. Solid opener here, with some nice intense stuff. Never been a fan of unified titles like this but I guess it’s ok. Debra was the big deal here, but unlike last year with Sable it was more subtle and it certainly wasn’t like having a big spotlight on her all night, which was a major plus. Not a great match, but good for an opener.

Edge and Christian say they’ll win the tag team turmoil match.

Tag Team Turmoil

I’ve always liked this idea. You have 6 teams. Two start and have a tag match. The losers are eliminated, and then the third team comes in. You keep going until there’s one team left. The winners get a tag title shot tomorrow night on Raw. Oh while Edge and Christian are coming out, JR is still upset about what Henry did, because D’lo was trying to help his career. My goodness what would he have been like had Brown not helped?

Anyway, we start with E/C and the New Brood, aka the Hardys, who are heels if you can believe that. The Dudleyz weren’t quite there yet, but very soon these three would start dominating the tag division as you already know. The match starts with a standard back and forth fast paced match. I’ll spare a lot of the details here as most of these are going to last about three minutes at most. It amazes me that you have these four guys and Matt is easily the least successful of them all.

Who would have believed that you have at least 13 world title reigns in there? That’s unbelievable. Anyway, we go to the floor and it gets insane. You can tell how much these four are loving this as they’re killing each other out there. When the Dudleys came in a few months or maybe even weeks, the ante would be upped even more, especially with the ladders becoming more prevalent. Anyway, Edge hits an electric chair followed by what I think is a diving elbow from Christian to eliminate the Hardys.

Out next are Mideon and Viscera. And here is where the match starts to become an issue with the time. This lasts all of two minutes so there’s not a lot I can say. It might be better for it to be short though, given the wrestling abilities or lack thereof in the new team out there. Big Daddy V is somehow more annoying here with that stupid looking yellow Mohawk of his.

He uses that spin kick which is one of his best ever, nearly hitting Edge in the shoulder. It looks impressive, but it never actually connects, at least not that I can remember. Other than that, this is exactly what you would expect. Christian gets beaten up, Edge comes in and they double team Vis before spearing Mideon for the pin, and we get team #4.

Ross is talking about how spent Edge and Christian must be. Why in the world would they be spent? They’ve been wrestling less than 10 minutes and they get about 45 seconds to rest between falls. To say they’re tired is just stupid. The next team is Droz and Prince Albert. I’ll spare you the jokes about piercings, but years later when I found out what the name meant, I wince every time I hear it.

Anyway, this is more or less a team that was just thrown together because there was nothing else to do with them, which can work just fine. The New Age Outlaws got together this way and it worked fine. Anyway, neither guy was anything special yet and for the most part, they never were period. In case you don’t know, Albert became the A-Train.

Sadly enough, Droz would be paralyzed within two months of this, never walking again for the rest of his life, at least since then. This one goes even shorter, with Edge hitting the Downward Spiral after about two minutes. This is the problem with matches like these: unless you let them go an hour, you make a lot of matches and teams just seem like wastes of time and filler.

The fifth team is the Acolytes, not yet the APA. APA was the team that lost the belts to X-Pac and Kane, the current champions, so this was their chance to get the belts back the next night on Raw. Anyway, they’re the big monsters here and one of my favorite teams at the time, at least until the Dudleyz came in a few weeks later to really breathe new life into the division, not that it really needed it at the time, but it didn’t hurt things at all really.

It’s weird to think that at the time, Simmons was by far and away the most successful of these four, yet in the end, he’ll be the least successful. They just beat the tar out of Edge before we go to a big brawl, with Christian taking over on Farooq. For no reason at all, the Hollies come down as the final team, despite not being in the match yet. I guess they just jumped too early? Anyway, Bradshaw, big clothesline, yeah.

Hollies and APA to end this, and this seems REALLY simple here. The bad team fight over who gets to beat up their opponent, which is something I’d just let them do. If they’re going to expend energy and hurt each other, why stop them? Bradshaw, the Einstein of this group, beats Hardcore up while he’s fighting with Crash.

They both do blind tags, leading to another fight. Simmons, the smart one, just lets them do it. Hardcore turns around and walks into a spinebuster for the pin. See how smart it is to just let them beat each other up? Post match, the Hollies go at it even more. Somehow they would become tag champions someday.

Rating: B-. This is a hard one to call, as it was really 5 matches in one, but there were a lot of squashes in there too. Edge and Christian were on display here, as it was obvious they were the best in the company at this point. Overall, this was fine, but it needed more time, which is saying something as it was almost 20 minutes as it was. These kinds of matches are cool in theory, but they have to be done just right. This one came close to doing that.

Show and Taker are just getting here. Yeah thanks for showing up on time.

We cut to a shot of Pepper, Al Snow’s Chihuahua. He says something about how Bossman promised to get both of them, which he eventually would.

Before the match, Road Dogg, who is billed as a big deal in the division despite winning the title only one time, He challenges the winner of the Hardcore title match for tomorrow night. The more I see of him, the more I really like him. He’s very solid in the ring, he’s great on the mic, the fans are into him, and he has a decent resume. Jericho interrupts him though, as a complete rookie at this point.

He hadn’t even been in the company two weeks at this point. Jericho is on an extension of the stage which is up in the air. This was when he was the king of the internet, kind of like Danielson is today. Everyone knew he had all kinds of talent but was being completely wasted in WCW. In a few months with Angle and Benoit being around, they would start tearing the house down every time they were in the ring together and really revolutionize the company as a whole.

You can tell they trusted Jericho a lot, as he debuted in an argument with the Rock. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. He insults Road Dogg as its clear WWF understood him FAR better than WCW did, putting him with two of the best talkers in the company immediately. He is just tearing Road Dogg apart here, as he has the entire crowd going nuts with insults. Roadie’s response: Why don’t you shut up, boy? Yeah, Jericho is light years ahead of him here.

If you can ever find it online, get a copy of Jericho and Foley’s promos together. It’s just them trading these amazing insults and one liners about each other as they both keep trying to top one another. It’s some of the funniest work I’ve ever seen.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Bossman

Roadie joins JR and Jerry for commentary for this match. He immediately threatens to punch Jerry for using the same lines over and over again, gaining cheers from half the audience. Bossman is champion by the way. They do something that’s pretty cool here, as they give Road Dogg a microphone and he follows them around the arena giving commentary. I really like his style as he sounds like a fan cracking jokes about the match as it goes.

He has a very smooth voice and he’s easy to listen to. It’s also a treat for the fans as they never get to hear anything when they’re in the arena. They go into the back and in a spot I shouldn’t laugh at, Bossman picks up Snow’s dog’s box and throws it and the dog across the floor. They fight towards a Pepsi case, which they knock over.

There was no Pepsi in it which is good because Pepsi sucks. This is actually cool as they go outside the arena and fight more. They go across the street which I’m assuming was closed off and fight on the patio of a bar. This is actually really cool when you think about it, but it easily could have gone bad had cops or something not been filled in on this and thought it was a legit bar fight.

Bossman hits him in the head with a yellow pages, which would hurt actually as those things are heavy, especially for a major city like Minneapolis and possibly St. Paul. They do a bunch of random brawling using a bunch of weapons. Snow with a moonsault off a bar. The funny part of this is I’m reviewing this on the night that IC, Norcal and D-Man got together at a bar.

For no reason at all, Road Dogg hits Bossman in the back with the nightstick, followed by Snow hitting Bossman with some pool balls, which allows Snow to pin him on a pool table. Snow runs back to the arena to check on his dog and for no apparent reason beats up Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie. In the process of this he steals a guy’s crutch, causing him to fall down.

Rating: B. This was a run of the mill hardcore match from this era, meaning it was fun. You have to grade some matches on a different kind of scale and this one of them. You can’t grade this like you would a Benoit/Angle match. For what it was, this was a fun match that worked.

Mankind and Ventura are talking. Ventura says that while Mankind is hardcore and Jess is fine with that, if Foley uses a weapon for the pin, Jesse won’t count it. This somehow turns into a political debate that I’d pay to hear.

There’s another Lion’s Den match tonight, but this one has weapons.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Tori

Now this isn’t the Torrie that hung out with Stacy. This is Tori that was just around for awhile, mainly hanging out with X-Pac. She never really did much and from what I remember was AWFUL in the ring. Looked hot though. JR apologizes in advance, knowing that it’s going to suck. They’ve been….I guess you’d call it feuding, but this is pre-Lita/Trish, meaning it’s horrible at best for the most part.

Apparently the dog wasn’t in the dog box when Bossman threw it. This makes no sense as he yelled into the cage before throwing it, but whatever. This was when Ivory was just done being Henry’s sex toy, meaning she was still quite hot as long as you didn’t see her full face. Tori is a women’s wrestler, so naturally she has a martial arts background. Here’s some examples of the epicness of this match: Ivory hits a legdrop. Tori literally does not move.

She doesn’t sell, she doesn’t react, she doesn’t do anything and it just looks bad. Ivory then shouts “get ready for the big swing.” Yes, she’s using a giant swing. The crowd is chanting Take It Off, so you get the idea. The finish…might be the worst I’ve ever seen. I’ve been a fan of wrestling for over 20 years, I’ve seen thousands of matches, and I honestly have no clue what this was supposed to be.

Tori goes for a sunset flip and botches it, leading to Ivory being back in control. That’s all fine and good. They botch it, with Ivory being pushed too far and being out of the pin. Immediately after this, they do the EXACT SAME SPOT, but this time instead of Ivory going down like she normally would, she just sits on Tori’s chest. Ivory then “covers” Tori, who’s shoulder is AT LEAST three inches off the mat, for the pin to retain.

The air was allegedly knocked out of her, but she’s up withing seconds and is just fine. Afterwards, for no apparent reason, Ivory throws her on her stomach and starts to unhook her top. While I’m not complaining…actually yes I am. This makes no sense at all other than to embarrass him I guess, but still what’s the point?

She gets it off but before she can fulfill her latent lesbian desires, Luna freaking Vachon, who I swear has been with the company forever, runs out for the save. It went nowhere as far as I can remember.

Rating: F. Oy this was bad. Tori is just flat out awful and while Ivory would become good, she wasn’t there yet. This was just terrible in any and all forms, with the ending being one of the worst I’ve ever seen. Terrible match to say the least.

Rock is with Michael Cole and embarrasses him, as it’s the best thing Cole did. Rock is just amazing here as he’s at his best, just before his hottest period, his summer long feud with HHH in 2000 over the title. For some reason tonight though, he’s against Billy Gunn, who is shown coming in with someone under a sheet.

We get a very different kind of video package, with Lawler and Ross doing prerecorded stuff which just sounds different. It’s odd to hear those two doing voiceover work. Anyway, basically both guy thinks they’re better with weapons than the other, so we have this to determine it.

Lion’s Den: Steve Blackman vs. Ken Shamrock

They start with Blackman pulling nunchucks from his tights which he swings very well. This is more or less a martial arts match in a cage with weapons. It’s actually cool to see two guys that can do this kind of stuff, but I don’t want to see the weapons in there. Seeing these two trying to choke each other out and kicking the heck out of each other would be fun based on the short bits that they do here. I think you can only win by KO or tapping.

We get a kendo stick brought in. So far the weapons use is limited, which makes this a lot better for me. Blackman was ok I guess, but he just bored me to tears a lot of the time. I hated his time as hardcore champion. Those sticks he would use just drove me insane. As I restart the video after typing that, he’s got the sticks. This fight is ok, but I’m still not sold on the weapons stuff. This is kind of like MMA I guess, but only parts of it.

It’s close to a hybrid I guess you could call it, and that’s just fine. This cage is really small actually. Blackman is dominating, but he keeps letting Shamrock get up and it’s just kind of pointless looking. Shamrock’s belly to bellies are just freaking sick looking. Shamrock kills Blackman with the kendo stick to knock him out and end this. Shamrock celebrates to end this segment.

Rating: B-. This is a very hard one to grade as I could see people loving it, liking it or hating it. I could certainly get the argument of there’s no point to having this on a wrestling show and there’s a certain amount of truth to that. However, there’s certainly wrestling in there, and while I’d prefer no weapons, this was fine I thought.

We get a recap of Shane attacking Test on Heat. This was a very cool angle that I always liked, which directly led to the McMahon-Helmsley Era the next year. Here’s the idea: Vince McMahon, back in the spring, had a stable called the Union, comprised of Test, Shamrock, Big Show and Mankind. They were there to simply help him fight off Taker and the Ministry. The reason you’ve never heard of them was they disbanded after literally a month.

Anyway, one night Stephanie was kidnapped and the Union rescued her. Due to this, Vince granted them all a favor of their choice. Most of them picked matches, but Test said he wanted a date with Stephanie. He got what he wanted, and they became an onscreen couple. Now you have to remember at this time, Test was something like John Morrison is now: young, cool looking, tough, and looking like the next big thing.

Shane, being the big brother, decides that a wrestler isn’t good enough for his sister. Let the HHH jokes begin. Anyway, Stephanie yells at him to stay out, so he gets his friends, the Mean Street Posse, to help him fight Test. Naturally, he beats the tar out of all of them and gives them all injuries. Eventually we get to this: Shane vs. Test in a Love Her or Leave Her Greenwich Street Fight. The idea is simple: if Test wins, Shane stays out of their relationship. If Shane wins, they break up.

Street Fight: Shane McMahon vs. Test

The MSP comes out before we get started, all bandaged up etc. There just happens to be a couch waiting on them. Test has bad ribs btw. Within a minute they’re already out in the crowd. Naturally the Posse is already interfering, but Test throws Shane into them. Stephanie, pre implants, is watching in the back. There’s a mailbox next to the Posse, so of course they use it in the match. It’s more or less a standard street fight.

The crowd is way into Test here, so I’ve always wondered why he never took off. We go back to the ring and Shane busts out a freaking corkscrew moonsault from the top. Every time he’s in the ring he does something impressive and this is no exception. It looks great to say the least. It missed, but it looked great. Test misses a boot and kicks the heck out of the referee. Shane hits the elbow through the table.

That’s the real battle here: who has the better top rope elbow drop? For some reason in a match where there are no rules, the referee has to be distracted. That’s just kind of pointless don’t you think? Back in, Test kicks out to a big pop. For the life of me I don’t get why they dropped his push. He seems to be really over, at least in this match. More or less this is a four on one match, but it’s three jobbers and a part time wrestler.

This really shouldn’t be too much of a challenge, but they’re making it work. The Stooges are here to make the save though, as you don’t mess with the Real Americans. They beat up 2 of the Posse, allowing Test to kick the 3rd in the head, then beat the tar out of Shane with a SWEET looking elbow for the pin. Stephanie runs out to celebrate.

Rating: B. This was a very good street fight. The Posse interfering makes perfect sense as Shane isn’t a polished wrestler and would need help to win. The crowd was WAY into this too. There were good weapons spots, big moves and a solid ending. In short, this was very good and very fun.

Anyway, moving on we have the recap of the tag title match, which is the new champions Kane and X-Pac vs. Big Show and Undertaker. Taker was probably the most evil in his entire career at this point, more or less being the devil. This was around the time that X-Pac was trying to humanize Kane, which never really worked. These kinds of matches are why X-Pac gets the reputation he gets.

Against guy his size he works really well and he’s a fun guy to watch. However, putting him in the ring with three guys whose smallest is the 6’10 328lb Undertaker just does not work at all. He looks out of place and you get into the area where it’s about his heart, which makes even less sense. Also, the X Factor was a horrible move.

It’s a facebuster for those of you unfamiliar with it. For someone his size he needs to be using the ropes for a big high impact move. Those two things changed, Waltman could have been a decent guy. Instead, he’s more or less universally hated, which I don’t think is fair.

Tag Titles: X-Pac/Kane vs. Big Show/Undertaker

The announcers are asking about whether or not the challengers can trust each other. Kane has a different outfit which is his old red and black but inverted. It looks fairly awesome actually. Taker’s music is just freaking SWEET around this time. For some reason this feels like a No Mercy match to me. I mean the N64 game that is. Not sure why that’s the case but it feels like one.

Basically, this is what you’d expect: faces clean house to start and it gets down to Pac vs. Taker, but the size gets the better of it until Kane comes in. They do a spot that I really like as Taker is about to chokeslam Pac through the table but Kane just pulls him in over the top rope. I think I’m getting where the NM aspect comes in. Kane would be the first player, saving his much weaker partner from the other two guys on Expert mode.

He hits a move, goes for a cover, and saves his partner. Eventually he starts to get beaten down though, as would be expected I suppose. Watching Taker and Kane fight is almost always fun. The history there just makes it fun. It’s odd to see Kane as the face, and there’s a joke there somewhere, vs. Taker as the heel. Just realized the flaw in my No Mercy analogy: Big Show wasn’t in it, and Taker was a biker.

Pac gets in and finally gets the beating that we all knew was coming. The main thing here of course is the heart of X-Pac which I think I’ve mentioned before. Anyway, Show beats on him for awhile but since he hasn’t had a twinkie (I’m sure Rhodes or DiBiase would do) in awhile, he goes to the resthold of doom. We get one of the moves I’ve always hated: the Bronco Buster. Dang can someone just shoot whoever made that move?

Pac kicks out of a Showstopper and Taker is MAD. He tags himself in, punches the small one, and tombstones the living heck out of him to get the tag titles. The belt looks small in Show’s hands.

Rating: D+. This just didn’t do it for me. I mean, I know the ending to about 95% of these matches, but a lot of them get me into it. This simply didn’t at all. It was just there and it wasn’t interesting, there was no drama, and it didn’t work. I think the issue here is you have three guys that combine to be over 1000 pounds, and then someone that barely clears 200.

The problem is that there’s far too much of a difference between the sizes and it just didn’t work for me. It would be the Rock N Sock Connection that would take the belts from these monsters in I think about three weeks.

Ventura gives his same speech to Austin.

Rock vs. Billy Gunn

This was a really weird period for Rock as he was over beyond belief, but Austin was just way too big of a star for Rock to get that top spot. The neck surgery was coming, and Rock would be launched so far into the stratosphere that you couldn’t see him anymore. By the way, this is being written just after Night of Champions ended, so if there’s some anti-Hardy remarks in here, don’t be surprised.

Anyway, Rock was thrown into worthless feud after worthless feud, even being paired with Gangrel for all of a minute. That should speak volumes for how out there they were with him. Anyway, Gunn has a fat lady with him, saying if Rock loses he kisses her, not his, so the ending is pretty obvious already. There was no point to this feud but it filled Rock’s time I guess. Billy Gunn…..where do I begin? This guy was given so many pushes and he never could get it right.

Somehow, this was his most successful gimmick. They’re on the floor and Rock puts King’s crown on Gunn before punching him. Why has no one ever used that as a weapon? If a cookie sheet hurts, that has to have some force behind it. For some reason, Lawler starts going over the possible types of underwear that the fat lady could be wearing. Ross’ reactions are just funny here.

They do the standard near falls, with Rock taking the fameasser, which for you young guys that don’t know, it’s what Cena does with the leg drop from the top, but Billy just got a running start. It always sucked though as he never got the leg in the right place. Eventually, the woman comes in and sets up in the corner, and you know what’s coming. Yes, Billy takes it which makes the woman smile. Rock is on fire here, drilling the Rock Bottom and the Elbow, as the fans are losing it.

Rating: B-. Seriously, the guy headlines Mania and this is the best they can do for him at the second biggest show of the year? That’s just kind of pathetic. Anyway, this was pretty bland, with no one thinking Rock would lose, but unlike in the Hardy/Punk match, they got the booking right! Ok I think I’m good now. Anyway, Rock wins, he looked good, he got the big pop, and his time was coming, but no one knew it yet.

Oh great. Now I get to recap the buildup for the main event. Sit back, because this might be the most complicated story outside of TNA in wrestling history. Ok, so one night, there was supposed to be a triple threat match to determine the #1 contender for Summerslam, but we didn’t know who the 3rd person was. We had HHH and Taker, but no third person. Commissioner HBK decided that the third person was Chyna.

Now, earlier in the night, someone had jumped Austin and hurt him. Austin shows up at the end of the show with a chair and kills HHH with it, implying he’s the one. It’s a hardcore match, so Austin throws Chyna onto HHH, making her the #1 contender. From what I remember reading, there was actually a debate going on about not only having Austin vs. Chyna, but actually GIVING HER THE TITLE.

Luckily, this lasted all of 9 seconds though as they came back to reality. Anyway, HHH is ticked about this, as at the time he was completely obsessed with being the WWF Champion. It was one of the best builds for someone being desperate to be champion that I’ve ever seen. His theme music was My Time at the moment, so everything for him was about claiming his destiny as WWF Champion.

The next week, we got HHH vs. Chyna for the spot. For no reason that I can remember at all, Mankind runs out and hits HHH with the stairs, allowing Chyna to pin him. THEN the next week, Mankind says that he wants a piece of the Summerslam action, and due to the obvious sexual tension between he and Chyna (find this promo. I don’t ever recall laughing so hard at wrestling as the look on Chyna’s face is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.)

Anyway, Mankind wins, but THEN Shane returns to announce that right here and right now, we’re having a no holds barred match to determine the undisputed #1 contender for Summerslam. HBK and Shane are both referees. Mankind gets the Claw on HHH, but the Game lands a belly to back onto a chair and we get a double pin.

Note: in one of the funniest and stupidest things I’ve ever heard, during this package (pun coming), we hear every curse word I can think of that you can say on TV, yet they censor Chyna saying balls. This amazed me to no end.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Mankind vs. HHH

Before the match, Jesse cuts a short but great promo, talking about how the media has said that he’s a disgrace to the office for being there. He says he’s proud he was a wrestler and he’s proud to be here tonight. That is just awesome.  You have to stop and think for a second: at the time, Ventura was the governor of Minnesota. This wasn’t some American Idol guy or NBA impersonator.

This is a major politician, who was considered a dark horse candidate for the White House. Another person called a dark horse candidate in the past: President Obama. Just think about that. Imagine 4 years ago having Barack Obama refereeing the main event of Summerslam and clearly being excited about it and not just waving and looking like he’d rather pound a rusty spike into his face.

You can tell Jesse is having fun up there and wants to be there. That’s a nice thing to see. For the most part, people that are wrestlers are proud of it and it’s not just something you do and then don’t do. Oh apparently Foley is in this because HHH injured his knee with the hammer. We get the shots of the walk towards the entrance, which I’m not sure if I like or not. Nothing beats the shot of the fans when the music hits, and I don’t want to see the guys before that.

HHH was wearing some weird vest made of chain link around this time. I never got the point of that. Foley’s pop is actually very solid so you know he’s still over, which is odd as he would be retired in about 8 months. Austin’s pop is MASSIVE. Foley is very smart here, staying on the floor at first and letting Austin and HHH fight. That’s brilliant, and it’s coming from one of the craziest wrestlers of all time.

Austin and Mankind beat up HHH, so Mankind hugs him and offers a handshake. Right hands follow. It’s your standard wild brawl to start with HHH and Austin doing most of the work. Wow. Upon a bit of research, Austin is only 34 here. It’s hard to think that his career was mostly over at this point. Chyna interferes and low blows Mankind, so Jesse throws her out.

The cool thing about Ventura is that he was always a guy that wasn’t afraid of anyone, and as a Navy SEAL, you knew he was tough. He’s perfect for this and has to be the best guest ref I can think of. Mankind and HHH work together, which you’ll never hear again. This match is just kind of going with the motions so far and while it’s good, it’s not great. HHH sets for what might have been a figure four while Mankind drops a leg.

It’s Hogan and Flair vs. Austin. This partnership lasts all of 18 seconds and it ends with a Cactus clothesline before Mankind runs across the apron and flips onto HHH. Mankind is doing flippys. Maybe he does belong in TNA. HHH is working on Austin’s bad knees which makes sense. Austin and HHH go into the crowd as Foley follows. You know one day someone needs to land a piledriver on the floor.

We always get it teased but we never see it. MORE VIOLENCE BLAST IT! Foley takes a good stunner. He just falls to the side, plain and simple. HHH breaks it up with a chair, and Jesse says he won’t count it. That’s just awesome on so many levels. Shane slides in to break up the fight between HHH and Jesse. The mouth on Jesse could rival Austin’s if my lip reading is working. Jesse throws Shane over the top as I’m loving this. This is just awesome.

He says that was for your old man you little bastard. Vince vs. Jesse NEEDS to happen. Who cares if they’re both senior citizens? Correction: Jesse is….58? WOW. I would have had him pushing social security. So….wow he was in his late 40s here? That explains a lot. Late 30s as well for the Mania stuff? I’m impressed. Mankind breaks up the pin on the stunner as we’re running very low on time.

HHH gets the pedigree, but Foley breaks it up and hits the double arm on Austin to win the title and shock the world. The fans are almost dead silent for about ten seconds, then go nuts as someone not named HHH is champion. HHH is just losing it in the corner as Jesse hands Foley the title. HHH lands about ten chair shots to the legs of Austin as he can’t believe he didn’t get the belt again.

He’d win the next night on Raw, with the rumor being that he was supposed to get it here, but Austin refused to job for him. That’s never been confirmed one way or the other though, and since this was the Attitude Era, it certainly could be wrong.

Rating: B+. This just didn’t have the main event feeling to it. Jesse definitely lived up to the hype here as he was about as good as you can get for a special guest referee. The match itself was good, but the ending was out of nowhere. It wasn’t bad or anything, but this was the definition of a swerve.

NO ONE saw this coming as the stars aligned for HHH on this night it seemed. Anyway, Foley winning was a nice surprise and kind of his last hurrah, saying that he still had it before the completely underrated feud with HHH started in about 2-3 months time.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was good, but just good. The matches are good enough, the main event was a twist, the fans were happy I suppose and there were some fun moments, but there’s no big spark to make it a great show. This would have been awesome as something like Judgment Day or No Way Out, but for Summerslam, it’s just a good show.

Mild recommendation, as it’s your traditional Attitude Era stuff: if you like this era you’ll love it and if you’re not a fan you’ll be very mildly entertained but get bored at some parts. It’s ok, but just barely.




Site Update

As you may know, I was hacked yesterday.  As you may know as well, it seems to be ok now after I talked to the hosting company.  If it happens again, please be patient and things should be back up within a few days, with the emphasis on the word should.

Also I’ll have NXT up Wednesday, assuming nothing goes badly.

KB