Best of the WWF Volume 1
Host: Vince McMahon
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Red Bastien, Vince McMahon, Alfred Hayes

This is the long delayed installment in the series from Coliseum Video. The word best is a huge stretch but it’s really just a collection of matches, some of which I’ve done before. There are 20 volumes in the set and I found some more of them recently so I’m required by reviewer’s law to be all over them. Let’s get to it.

I miss the old Coliseum Video intro. It’s just cool.

Most of these matches are clipped by the way but I’ll do what I can.

Hulk Hogan/Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd/Adrian Adonis/Dick Murdoch

Murdoch and Adonis are tag champions. This is from the Meadowlands in New Jersey. Hogan and Andre say they’re awesome and best friends and all that jazz. This is from July 15, 1984. I have dates for most of the matches so I’ll try to remember to add those. Adonis is a biker here and not gay yet. No Real American yet either. Red Bastien of all people is on commentary with Gorilla. His most famous contribution to wrestling would probably be training Sting and Ultimate Warrior.

Hogan is in the white here. My there’s a lot of background and little things like that being thrown in here. Hogan and Adonis start us off. I’ll give you two guesses as to how well this goes for Adrian. Off to Murdoch and we’re clipped to him bringing in Studd as the heels work on Hulk’s arm. Clipped again (maybe 10 seconds between them) to Andre coming in for the giant staredown.

Andre wants a test of strength so let’s clip it to Hogan fighting the tag champions. Clipping can be so frustrating. Adonis is sent into the corner and Andre massacres him for some fun. Now it’s time for some more monster battles and he Andre gets all three heels trapped into the same corner and rams shoulders into them. The heels take turns triple teaming him and actually manage to get him down. Well score one for them.

Clipped for the fourth time to more of the heels beating on him. From what I can find, this match ran about 22 minutes so clipping it down is probably a good thing. Murdoch wraps the tag rope around Andre’s neck but Hogan comes to….do nothing at all. Andre gets the rope and chokes a bit but it’s off to Hulk who beats up a lot of people. Murdoch gets an elbow up and it’s clip #5 to Hogan being slammed by Adonis.

Adrian gets crotched so here’s Studd instead. Bastien doesn’t talk much. Andre comes in off a double clothesline by Hogan and Murdoch and everything breaks down as you would expect it to. Studd tries to run so Andre waddles after him. The tag champs beat down Hogan but he starts no selling punches. I think you can see the ending coming already. Andre drops down on Murdoch’s chest and stays there despite Adonis pounding on him. See, now why do you never see that happen? Doesn’t it strike you as odd that when a guy has a cover and is hit from behind he flies off to the side?

Rating: C-. Obviously this is just for what I saw, which is only about half of the match. This is very much a house show main event as there was only a feud between Andre and Studd. There was nothing I’m aware of between Hogan and Murdoch although he has some matches with Adrian if I remember correctly. Either way, thank goodness this was clipped.

The next match is the main event from the Brawl to End it All, which is kind of like the grandfather of Wrestlemania. It’s from July 23, 1984 in MSG and was aired live on MTV. This is the full version of the review and I copied and pasted it from the original so I have no idea if the whole match was put onto the tape or not.

Moolah says she’s a legend and this is going to be easy.

Women’s Title: Wendi Richter vs. Fabulous Moolah

Moolah looks old. Richter looks insane but this is the 80s so that makes sense. Nuclear heat on Albano. Lauper is at ringside too which gets a huge pop. Moolah throws her out onto the announce table almost immediately. Moolah probably had a hand in training Richter so this should be a pretty bad clash of styles.

Lauper’s manager is on commentary and can’t talk that well which is expected I guess. Richter gets an armbar to maintain control. Both miss dropkicks as it’s odd to see this being the big blowoff to a major feud as the feature contest. Albano’s ramblings are rather funny.

In a funny moment Richter gets her neck snapped over the ropes and Gene shouts OH SNAP! Rather sloppy match here as Moolah gets hung upside down in the ropes. She stays there for a good while until Albano saves her. Ok so he’s just trying to as it doesn’t work at all. Finally she’s out thanks to the referee.

Full nelson to Moolah and Cyndi pops up on the apron. And now she’s down. Was there a point to that at all? Lauper hits Moolah in the face with…something and the referee is fine with this I guess. Ok then. Suplex gets two for Wendi. This has been almost dominance by Richter here.

Moolah gets a monkey flip for two, as in back to back one counts. That was odd looking. She takes over a bit and pulls Wendi up off a backdrop which is one of her finishers. Why it was one of her finishers I’m not sure but whatever. Albano misses a wild punch and Moolah continues her dominance.

Belly to back with a bridge gets the pin but we’re not sure whose shoulders were down. Ah ok Moolah got pinned. Really don’t like that booking as Wendi needed the definitive pin to make this work. Moolah and Albano beat up the referee after the match. Richter and company celebrate to end the show.

Rating: C-. The match sucked but that wasn’t the point. This was for the big blowoff and we got it. This match was really just the appetizer and table setter for the big one coming up in February and then March. Nothing all that special but it’s better than a lot of what you would see today.

Gorilla Monsoon vs. Baron Mikel Scicluna

Ok, the match means NOTHING here. Before the match, Muhammad Ali is introduced to the crowd. Remember that, because it becomes VERY important later. This is from June 1976 and we’re in the Garden again. Baron jumps him to start and that doesn’t work at all. Gorilla chops him to the floor and Ali freaks out. He takes his shirt and tie off and Baron walks out. Yeah the match itself is over already.

And now we get to the important part of the show. Ali throws some punches without really trying to connect. He points a finger in Monsoon’s face and Gorilla picks up Muhammad Ali and gives him an airplane spin. Muhammad Ali is the world heavyweight boxing champion at this point. Ali is slammed to the mat and bails. Gorilla says he proved wrestling is superior over boxing.

This was insane at the time as it was huge mainstream publicity and Ali was the biggest sports star in the world, bar none. This would be like Lionel Messi or Tiger Woods doing this. It also set up a match in Japan with Antonio Inoki facing Ali in what is the grandfather of MMA fights. Gorilla, ever the definition of old school, would never admit if this whole thing was planned or not.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Bobby Bass

This is from some time in 1984. Just a squash with the Splash ending it in about 90 seconds. Nothing to see here other than the finish.

Time for something a little more famous. Jimmy Snuka is in Piper’s Pit and Piper won’t shut up to let Jimmy talk. Snuka was the second biggest star in the company at this point so this is pure evil from the Hot Scot. He offers Jimmy a pineapple, some bananas and some coconuts so that Jimmy can feel like he’s at home.

Jimmy asks if Piper is making fun of him and we get the famous scene of Piper breaking the coconut over Jimmy’s head. Jimmy goes flying through the set and Piper shoves the banana in his face then whips him with the belt. This set off a HUGE feud over the summer with tons of wars between these two and it’s also why Snuka was in Hogan’s corner at the first Wrestlemania.

Roddy Piper vs. Jimmy Snuka

August 25, 1984 in the Garden again. Snuka starts off with chops and a headbutt. Piper is begging off as is the custom to start a grudge match like this in the 80s. Piper tries a headbutt of his own and when that doesn’t work he thumbs Snuka in the eyes. Jimmy grabs a sleeper and Piper is apparently trying to shimmy his way out of it. They go to the floor with the hold still on.

Piper, more in his element now, is able to break the hold on the floor. Jimmy sends him into the post and is busted open. Jimmy “goes bananas” according to Gorilla, which is a very poor choice of words given what started this feud. Snuka hammers away and hits the headbutt but the top rope cross body is countered into a hot shot and falls to the floor for a countout. Again, they keep the feud going with a non-conclusive ending. Old school booking 101.

Rating: B-. Solid brawl here as you could feel the hatred. This was a house show match though so the ending is understandable. The feud between these guys was great and I’m sure it would be blown off at another house show just like this one. I love old school booking. It’s so much different than today’s. Actually it’s not so different but house shows were the life blood of the company back then.

Junior Heavyweight Title: The Cobra vs. Black Tiger

This is Black Tiger #1 who is a lot more famous in Japan. Cobra fought in Japan a lot more than in America. This is the light heavyweight title of the 80s and it eventually moved to Japan permanently until it was brought back in 97 for Taka to win. This is also from the Garden a few days after Christmas of 84. The title is vacant here. Black Tiger is a British guy under the mask and is billed from England. That’s different.

The fans have no idea who these guys are and are very quiet because of it. It’s clipped from a few minutes after the opening with Cobra in control to Black Tiger working on the leg. Cobra hits a spinwheel kick and a knee drop for two. Gorilla gives an idea of what it’s like to be in a mask and it’s off to a Boston Crab (clipped) by Cobra. Off to a surfboard which only lasts a few seconds.

We go from Cobra hitting the ropes to being in a full nelson. Gene Okerlund pops back on commentary now. Tiger goes up and is slammed down in a clip that is on the Coliseum Video intro. Clipped again (I think) to Black Tiger hitting a clothesline for some of his first offense. Swinging neckbreaker by Tiger sets up more clipping to Cobra taking over. A dropkick puts Tiger on the floor and Cobra hits a suicide dive to get the crowd into it. The selling is straight out of ROH here as Tiger pops up and hits a top rope splash for no cover.

Suplex gets two. Tombstone gets two for the Tiger. I think Tiger is the heel here but it’s really not clear. Cobra hits a tombstone of his own and I think we’re clipped again. Either that or the crowd got going VERY quickly out of nowhere. Cobra goes up and hits a senton back splash to win the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it really wasn’t anything to write home about, let alone write a full review of. This was nothing by comparison as it really wasn’t any kind of a fast paced match at all. The top rope move was a nice thing to see as that was still a big move. Not a bad match or anything but just kind of there.

We get a segment of Hogan training Mean Gene for a match with George Steele and Mr. Fuji. I think I’ve reviewed this before but whatever. Gene is having a cigar and coffee and Hogan freaks out on him and makes breakfast for him, which is mainly raw eggs. Gene looks like he lives in a trailer. They go for a run around the lake and some people are there to cheer them on. Gene wants a beer. Day 2 is weight training. This is set to the Coliseum Video theme song and is laughably bad. They train for two more days and Hogan is enjoying this way too much. Gene thinks he’s ready.

Hulk Hogan/Gene Okerlund vs. Mr. Fuji/George Steele

August of 84 in Minneapolis. This is when Fuji still wrestled on occasion so he’s not horrible. It’s all Hogan for the most part of course and by that I mean he wrestles most of the match. Gene in trunks and no shirt is something I NEVER need to see again. Clipped to Steele cheating and taking over on Hogan. Hogan sends him to the floor and struts a bit. Gene high fives Hulk and that counts as a tag. Gene, ever the idiot, tries his luck with Gene….and then dives through George’s legs for the tag. That’s better.

Clipped again to Hulk pounding on Fuji. Fuji tries to throw some salt but Hogan messes that up. Gene puts a knee into Fuji (or something like that) and then Hogan slams Gene onto Fuji for the pin. Yeah I think we all knew that was the ending that was coming here. Gene gets to kick both guys post match.

Rating: D+. Ok yes it’s bad, but at the same time what were you expecting here? I mean, you have to keep in mind what you’re watching when you look at something like this. It’s not going to be a masterpiece and yes it’s very bad, but you have to give it a big bit of slack as there’s a manager and an interviewer out there.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Now THIS is some legendary stuff. This is the original match where it’s more of an exhibition than a match. Basically Bruno is the teacher who taught Larry everything he knows but Larry wants to prove he can hang with Bruno. This is from January of 1980. This is going to be all feeling out/nice guy stuff until the very end. Sammartino takes him to the mat with a drop toehold and has dominated the entire match so far.

Bruno keeps putting holds on Larry and then lets them go which is an odd choice of offense. Larry grabs an abdominal stretch but Bruno powers out of it. Half crab goes on Bruno but Larry lets it go. Sammartino grabs about his fifth hold and lets go of it too. They try a crisscross and Larry gets tossed over in a hiptoss. He’s getting very ticked off here.

Apparently Bruno said he’d only wrestle defensively in this match. Larry heads to the floor to cool his head and Bruno looks the other way for some reason. Larry comes back in and in the biggest heel turn ever at this point, DESTROYS Bruno with a wooden chair. There is blood all over the place. This was shocking and came out of absolutely nowhere. It also set up the hottest feud of the year which we’ll get to the blowoff of in a second.

Rating: C-. The match itself means nothing as the heel turn is the whole thing. This was one of the biggest angles ever and is still a huge turn that works to this day. They would feud over the summer and would blow it off in front of about 40,000 people in the infield of Shea Stadium. We need to get to that now.

For the next match, bare in mind that it’s from the WWE 24/7 version. Michael Cole and Mick Foley did not do commentary for a tape released in late 1984.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Wrestling 101 here: Bruno was the mentor, Larry decided he had surpassed the teacher, teacher kept being the star, student attacks the teacher, they go to a baseball stadium and have a wrestling match in front of 36,000 people in a box with no lid on it. Tale as old as time. Old school cage here, as in the kind they have now. NUCLEAR heat on Larry. Bruno gets the only entrance of the night.

We even get clips of Zbyszko’s heel turn which is WAY rare. Bruno jumps him to start and Larry hits the cage 3 times in about 5 seconds. You can only go through the door here and not over the top for no apparent reason. Apparently Larry talks about this match to the point of annoyance. Low blow gives Larry a chance to breathe as this has been very intense so far.

Foley makes another interesting point: Bruno headlined all three Shea shows and only once was world champion at the time. That’s saying a lot. This is the first match with an angle and the crowd clearly knows it. We get into a discussion about whether Bruno would be successful today and the commentators say yes because he was the people’s man. You know, like that blue collar guy that represented the hard working everyman who didn’t like his boss. Someone you could have a beer with. Or maybe a case of them if you get what I’m talking about. Yeah I think Bruno would have worked today.

Almost all Bruno so far. Now we talk about Stan Hansen inspiring Foley to sleep with his wife. Ok then. We hear about Larry and Foley driving together and Cole says how would they get a word in edgewise? Foley says he only talks over Cole because he’s smarter than Michael is. Nice line! Bruno’s arm is bleeding so Larry punches away at it. After nearly ten minutes Larry makes the first attempt at the door, naturally not getting there.

We get into a semi-argument over whether or not Foley ever worked out. Foley seems genuinely ticked off about that and I can’t say I blame him. Bruno wakes up and beats the heck out of Larry, kicking him in the head one more time and walking out to win it definitively. Bruno beats on him some more after the match ends

Rating: C+. Solid match for what it was supposed to be which was a big time brawl. The fans loved it and Bruno decisively won. What more can you ask from them? This was a blowoff to a feud and that’s what they did. There’s nowhere for this feud to go from here and it ended. That’s what gimmick matches are for. LEARN THIS RUSSO!

Overall Rating: C+. This is a weird one. It’s just such a different era and there are the start of three HUGE angles on here so the historical value trumps almost any other tape you’ll get from this era. This is about 4 months before the first Wrestlemania so you can really see how different things are back here. It’s an entertaining tape, but the drama outweighs the wrestling by about five Big Shows.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 10, 2011
Location: Chesapeake Energy Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

This should be an interesting show as it’s after the walk out and we may only have about six guys (conveniently enough the top faces on the roster) and HHH to run things. There’s talk of something called a solidarity rally which I guess is their take on the Wall Street protests, which I’m sure will be laughed at because people complaining about business is bad right Vinny Mac? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the walk out last week and I think it was the same one on Smackdown.

And we have no commentators. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

I guess he got the cameramen to agree with him as we go to the back and no one is there. HHH comes out of his office and looks around. He comes to the ring (with music) and talks about how everyone walked out last week. They walked out on the fans, not him. There’s a solidarity rally going on out back and they’re all in gear. HHH makes a good point by making fun of them for saying the show is too tough. They really do sound whiny out there with this argument.

He asks the fans if he should step down and he says no. HHH talks about how he’s never been a quitter and goes on a short rant about how he’ll never quit. He says he’ll wrestle a broomstick for two hours (Flair reference) and says it might give him a better match than some of those guys. There will be a show tonight, somehow.

Cue Cena who didn’t walk out last week. He’s very serious tonight and says there’s a reason he wasn’t walking out last week. Every person that walked out has personally asked him to join in the walk out. HHH never asked him to stay. HHH is the first boss for a lot of those guys so Cena runs down his bosses: Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff, Vickie Guerrero, 56 guest hosts, a talking computer and Mike Adamle (“Now that was a real unsafe working environment.”) HHH is his boss and he’s staying.

Cena is staying because he loves the insanity. His loyalty is to the fans and when he wears the word loyalty on his shirt he means it. No matter what, he’s staying on Monday Night Raw. Cue Sheamus who talks about beating HHH up a year or so ago. He was young and trying to make a name for himself. Sheamus says that after that he got the worst beating of his life from HHH and he respects HHH for it. As corny as it sounds, that fits for Sheamus.

As for the big white dude, he’s not going anywhere because he didn’t come thousands of miles to be in a parking lot. Cue Punk with a mic. He says he can’t help but feel sorry….oh screw it yes he did start the whole thing. He made walking out look cool but now it looks stupid. Punk did it to prove a point and he had a great reason to do that. He talks about how someone doesn’t want him to be WWE Champion. Punk talks about how this is the place where differences between men are settled in a ring. This is professional wrestling, not ballet.

He talks about how he’ll deal with people personally (Calling Sheamus Shame-O and Cena the big boyscout). Punk asks the million dollar question: what do we do now? HHH says we do what we do on Raw: we shut up and fight. Tonight it’s Sheamus vs. John Cena. Since HHH is in something resembling stripes he’ll referee. Punk will be on commentary on his own and he can even wear HHH’s blazer. The look on Punk’s face cracked me up. Punk also has to ring the bell and wants double pay.

John Cena vs. Sheamus

They start with some basic back and forth stuff and we go to a fast commercial. Back with Sheamus countering the AA into a suplex for two……AND VINCE IS BACK! We saw all of 45 seconds of the match.

Vince asks the guys to leave so he can talk to HHH on his own. The fans chant you got fired. The guys not named HHH go to the back and Vince talks about how they’re all standing up for what they believe in. He mentions the Wall Street protests and actually doesn’t make fun of them. He’s on HHH’s side in this. Vince talks about how there are people that sympathize on both sides and some of the people that are on the walkers side is the board of directors.

The board isn’t sure what’s coming from this and it could mean anything up to the cancellation of anything from house shows to Raw to Wrestlemania. HHH is relieved of his duties. Neither him nor Vince nor any McMahon will be running Raw. The board is looking for a GM who is ethical. There will however be an interim GM and that’s Johnny Ace. Oh dear.

After a break, Ace brings in the guys again. Morrison of all people talks to him and tells Morrison he absolutely sucks. Morrison has to have a match right now against an unspecified opponent. Christian sucks up to Ace and for some reason is put into the match with Morrison. Ok then.

JR and the King come out for commentary. And so does Cole.

John Morrison vs. Christian

Christian has Ziggler, Rhodes and Swagger with them. Both guys are in street clothes. This is a nothing match for the most part as they hit each other a lot and then Ziggler distracts Morrison so that a spear can end this at 1:12.

All three other heels hit their finishers on Morrison post match. Swagger’s music plays them out. Odd choice.

Alberto vs. Punk (non-title) tonight.

Henry vs. Orton, also non-title later.

Wait. The five guys from the last segment were in street clothes. Didn’t HHH say everyone was in their gear? Consistency people.

Post break Ace is on the phone with his wife and HHH comes in. HHH stares him down and Ace tries to talk his way out of trouble. He talks about how he’s a company guy and was appointed just like HHH was. HHH threatens him and leaves.

Henry is in the ring and talks about Big Show. We get a video of Show vs. Henry including Henry getting beaten up on Friday. Show vs. Henry is official for Vengeance. Henry says Vengeance will be his. Orton’s voice comes over the speakers and says Vengeance will be his.

Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton

This is joined in progress after a break. Henry is overpowering Orton and JR calls him the Calculating Colossus. Oh dude….just no. A powerslam gets two but Henry misses an Earthquake drop and Orton takes over. A clothesline takes Henry down clean. Now that’s a high powered clothesline. Elevated DDT hits and here’s Cody Rhodes. He gets sent to the floor and Orton walks into the Slam. Orton escapes and hits the RKO but Cody runs in again for the DQ at 3:24 shown.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what you want me to say here as there wasn’t anything to this. Rhodes vs. Orton is a feud that hasn’t happened in full yet and now Rhodes is ready enough for it. Also getting Orton out of the title picture is probably a very good thing. Also it means the Cell ended a feud which is a good thing. Nothing to complain about here.

Post match Orton tries an RKO on Rhodes but gets shoved into the Slam. Henry leaves and Rhodes gives Orton CrossRhodes and bags him. Rhodes talks about cutting the head off the viper and asks if Randy wants a receipt with his paper bag and then laughs maniacally. Best laugh since DiBiase?

Rosa Mendes/Tamina vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly

Kelly is all intense to start and she and Rosa botch the handspring elbow almost immediately with Rosa walking into the ring for the collision for some reason. Off to Tamina who gets beaten down by the weakest punches ever. Off to Eve and the fans go silent. Everything breaks down and Eve hits the moonsault for the pin at 2:14. This was one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen. I mean it was BAD.

Johnny Ace comes out during Eve and Kelly’s celebration and they leave. He talks about doing the ethical thing and asks JR to come into the ring. Ace fires him for being a hick ingrate. JR tips his hat and leaves immediately. Cole is elated.

Mason Ryan/Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/David Otunga

Bourne vs. Ziggler to start but Kofi is drawn in by the magnetic power of Dolph. Dolph is sent to the floor so Ryan throws him back in only for Kofi to clothesline him back out. A dive by Bourne takes him down also and we go to a break with a standoff. Bad match so far for the US Champ. Back with Kofi reversing Swagger and bringing in Ryan. Ryan uses his assortment of forearms and it’s back to Kofi.

Otunga comes in and slams Kofi a few times so it’s back to Dolph for a SWEET dropkick. Everything breaks down and Bourne gets caught in a HUGE powerbomb by Swags. Ryan picks up Ziggler and does the way too complex and long spinning release Rock Bottom for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C-. I just couldn’t get into this at all. I really hope they don’t just bypass Ryder as the #1 contender for the US title because he’s big and muscled. Anyway, this was a match that was just ok but Ryan and Otunga added nothing to it at all. Pretty boring overall and I didn’t get into it.

Brodus Clay is still coming.

Time to waste some time on the trailer for John Cena’s newest movie which has a limited engagement next weekend. It’s an action comedy where Cena is a private investigator to get an inheritance.

Del Rio vs. Cena for the title at Vengeance.

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

This is non-title. They start off with a feeling out process until Punk pounds Del Rio down onto the floor. Del Rio takes over for a bit and they do a bunch of nothing for awhile. After about four minutes, here’s Johnny Ace to stop the match. It’s now a tag match with these two vs. Awesome Truth who are reinstated.

Awesome Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz

Miz and Truth do another remix onto the ring. This is in progress after a break. Del Rio fights off both of the other two heels and it’s off to Punk. This is one of those boring matches where they mess around a bit as we’re waiting for the ending to get here already. Alberto fights them both off again and tags in Punk before limping up the crowd with the help of Ricardo.

Ok so now it’s a handicap match. Miz and Truth are really boring when they’re in control. Punk fights them off for awhile and even manages to hit the Macho elbow on Miz. He calls for the GTS on Miz…and then it’s a double beatdown leading to a double DQ at 8:00. The fans audibly and correctly groaned at that ending.

Rating: D. Whatever here man. This was nothing and I could barely pay attention to it at the end. The ending was the worst thing they could have done to it and they did it anyway. Bad match and I have no idea where this is going, although in this case I don’t particluarly care, which isn’t good.

HHH comes out for the save and they beat on Awesome Truth until they run.

Ace makes Punk/Truth vs. Awesome Truth for Vengeance.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not sure what I thought of this show. You certainly can’t say nothing happened though. It had some twists and turns and not a lot of wrestling. Ace as the GM is probably the most logical thing at the moment…..somehow…..but that doesn’t make him any more interesting. I guess we put the Big Bad reveal on hold a little while longer as I’m starting to agree that this has no idea where it’s going. It’s like they tried to reset the whole thing tonight and while I think I can see the ending to this coming, it’s not getting here any faster and that’s not good.

Results
John Cena vs. Sheamus went to a no contest
Christian b. John Morrison – Spear
Randy Orton b. Mark Henry via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Rosa Mendes/Tamina – Moonsault to Mendes
Air Boom/Mason Ryan b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/David Otunga – Spinning release Rock Bottom to Ziggler
Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk went to a no contest
CM Punk/Alberto Del Rio b. Awesome Truth via DQ when Awesome Truth double teamed Punk

What is your favorite?

Mine would probably be Have A Nice Day.  It’s a great way of telling Foley’s story which is fascinating and having him do the writing was a great touch as he personalizes things so well.  It’s a fell good story too as it ends with him winning the title which was his dream growing up.

Your picks?

Battlebowl
Date: November 20, 1993
Location: Pensacola Civic Center, Pensacola, Florida
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

This is another of Dusty’s brilliant ideas that never really worked after the first time which was only because Sting was the star of the show. At least this year they didn’t have it at Starrcade. The idea is we take something like 32 names and draw them out for “random” tag matches. The 16 winners have a battle royal to win…..well to win the battle royal. There are no other matches on the card and since this is back in the days before Flair got the booking power, the matches all get at least 8 minutes and in some cases more. This is going to be painful. Let’s get to it.

Everyone gets in a quick line about what the show is about. Just like something for the Rumble would go, but for once this isn’t a ripoff.

Tony says there are 40 men in the back, meaning that 8 guys aren’t going to be out here. They’re going for a ring apparently. Don’t you feel the desire to win that??? We’re also told that Muta, the previous winner, isn’t here. Riveting.

Gene and a French maid named Fifi read the names. Barring a funny line or something I likely won’t mention that we go back to them to announce a match as they’re just drawing them out of a tumbler.

Vader/Cactus Jack vs. Charlie Norris/Kane

Vader is world champion here and he and Jack hate each other. Vader SHOVES this guy out of his chair to get here which is awesome. And no that’s not the more famous Kane. This was originally going to be his partner Kole, but Kane took his place. They would soon change their names to Booker T and Stevie Ray and would have some more success. Norris just flat out sucks and everyone knows he does.

Cactus and Vader brawl on the ramp to start us off. Yeah this is going to be one of those nights you can already tell. Norris runs down and Vader just ends him with a punch. Kane (Stevie Ray) and Jack start us off. Vader won’t get in the ring but Race yells at him to get him in. Cactus is a face here and getting very popular and far better for his insane style and improving match style. Of course he was released as soon as Hogan got there because we can’t have young talented and popular guys on our roster!

Norris is tall. That’s about all he’s got going for him and he would be out of the company more or less right after this. Vader Bomb gets a big pop as Norris gets flattened. Cactus hits him with a front flip as this is a squash so far. Jack hits a very weak belly to back suplex on Norris for two. Kane can’t even throw a proper clothesline. The referee calls a tag before the tag actually happens but whatever.

Tony wants every match to be hardcore. Is he Vince Russo all of a sudden? Norris is absolutely horrible. Cactus gets a double arm DDT from nowhere to bring us back to even. Norris hits a top rope chop to Vader who just shrugs it off. Vader gets some face pops here despite being the top heel in the company. That’s how hated Norris was. Vader falls down while powerbombing Norris’ fatness but gets the pin anyway.

Rating: D. Match was boring even with Cactus and Vader in there. Nothing at all happened as we were just standing around doing nothing for the most part. Norris was terrible and thankfull he was gone soon after this. There was zero drama here as we had two guys that mean nothing vs. the main event of Halloween Havoc. Who do you think is going to win here?

Brian Knobbs/Johnny B. Badd vs. Paul Roma/Erik Watts

Watts is the son of Bill Watts and is AWFUL. He’s here because of his daddy and absolutely nothing else. Something tells me this is going to be absolutely awful. Roma is a Horseman here for no apparent reason at all. No entrance music at all for any guy which is odd to see. The Nasty Boys are tag champions here so Knobbs isn’t happy here. The main attraction here is how bad can Watts be.

Badd and Roma, the more talented guys on their teams (keep in mind that Badd is rather young here and hasn’t hit his stride just yet) start us off. Roma is in long white tights here which just looks completely out of place for a heel. At least I think he’s a heel. Based on commentary he’s a face. It’s a bit confusing since almost everyone hated him. He can’t even do a backdrop. Decent dropkick though.

Comedy time as Watts is here. Watts hits a dropkick to the elbow to put Knobbs on the floor. Badd comes in to try to save this and they shake hands. We transition from that to hearing about Cactus Jack being a spiritual advisor, which translates into talking about manager of the year. LOTS of basic stuff from all four guys which is the problem. There’s no flow at all to the match. Badd will do ok and then Knobbs will come in and screw everything up.

None of the wrestling is any good but whatever. To say Watts is limited in the ring is the understatement of the year. Roma gets a powerslam for what would be two but Missy has the referee. She manages the Nasty Boys which I think I forgot to mention. This has been going almost ten minutes already, which is the problem with these shows. The matches go on forever because we have nothing else to air, but the matches completely suck more often than not.

We waste a bunch of time to do nothing at all on the floor. Tony talks a bit like a heel and Jesse says how proud he is of him. They speculate that the winner tonight will have a title shot more than likely, be it the TV Title, the US Title or the World Title. I’m not sure which to make fun of: the statement or the match. Watts gets the hot tag and he unleashes his clotheslines. The announcers argue about some quarterback whose name I missed as Knobbs rolls through a cross body and uses the tights for the pin.

Rating: D-. This got 13 minutes for no apparent reason other than WCW was mad at us or something I guess. Watts never was any good and you can’t blame him for being thrown out there when he flat out wasn’t ready. They never got out of doing basic stuff for nearly 13 minutes. If this was like 5 minutes long it’s bearable, but just way too long and not nearly enough talent to go around.

Shockmaster/Paul Orndorff vs. Ricky Steamboat/Steven Regal

Well the second team is stacked if nothing else. Orndorff is passable so maybe Shockmaster (Tugboat if you’re not familiar for some reason) can be outside most of the time. Steamboat gets by far the biggest reaction of the night so far, which to be fair isn’t saying much. Regal is I think TV Champion here. He held it enough times so we’ll go with that. The announcer saying he’s TV Champion helps a bit too.

LOUD Paula chant to start us off. Orndorff just looks old here. Regal looks downright British. The two more talented guys start us off, and by that I mean Steamboat for his team. This is before Regal got into drugs so heavily and was still very thin. Jesse starts his political jokes as you can tell he wanted to get into that more. We head to the floor and Steamboat is in trouble for all of 8 seconds.

Shocky looks almost clueless out there. He finally comes in and here’s Regal to meet him. In a great heel move he wipes his hands before he gets in. I still can’t get over that being Bill Dundee as his manager. Shocky lifts him up and sits him on the top, patting his head. That was amusing. This ends the entertaining part of his contribution to the match. After a slam he tags out to give us heel vs. heel.

They do very little beyond basics, but Sir William shouting up WELL DONE SIR is kind of amusing for some reason. Regal hooks a full nelson as Jesse thinks we have a tag team here. Regal does a cartwheel. Can you imagine him doing that today without ripping apart every muscle in his body? Steamboat finally comes in and gets caught in a hot shot. Crowd is DEAD by the way.

The problem of this whole show appears again as nothing of note is happening as they’re just killing time since they have 9 matches to fill three hours and there are more or less no segments to fill in time. Regal won’t tag so Shocky makes him in a decent bit. The partners start fighting and an umbrella shot and a splash end Regal, sending Orndorff and Shocky to the final. Clearly the more talented combo!

Rating: D+. By far the best match tonight and even then it’s bad. Regal vs. Orndorff was the highlight….somehow, but the problem again becomes that the only story is face/heel issues, which get boring very quickly as they did here. This wasn’t much at all and it never got out of first gear…much like the other matches. I hate this show already.

Gene has handcuffs for some reason.

King Kong/Dustin Rhodes vs. Equalizer/Awesome Kong

Equalizer is more commonly known as Dave Sullivan. The Kongs are very fat men that both sucked beyond any sense of the word suck. Rhodes gets a decent reaction and he should as he’s the only one with anything resembling talent. The fat guys both wear masks so I can’t tell them apart. Rhodes is US Champion here, which I think he would lose to Austin at Starrcade.

Everyone just kind of stops talking here as the non Kongs start us off. About thirty seconds in the commentary is back as Dustin realizes he’s in over his head here with such little anything to work with. Awesome comes in and is so big you actually can’t see the referee behind him. They make Vader look small so naturally they heavily suck. They’re too light skinned to be the Headhunters. King doesn’t want to fight his partner so more or less it’s 3 on 1.

King comes in finally and beats up Equalizer. The crowd is so silent you can hear individual fans. They slug it out and then go back to just clawing at each others’ faces. Big shoulder block to take down Kong and both tag. Sunset flip gets two for Dustin and it breaks down. The Kongs ram heads and Dustin gets a bulldog on his opponent Kong and wins it.

Rating: D. Again with a weak match as Dustin more or less was a one man team. That’s good as he was the only one of the four that’s watchable. For you young guys he’s more commonly known as Goldust. You had three big guys out there and Dustin, none of which could do anything other than big pounding shots. This went nowhere at all and was boring on top of that. Thankfully it was very short though, so at least there’s that.

Sting/Jerry Sags vs. Keith Cole/Ron Simmons

Cole is half of a team called the Cole Twins that never went anywhere. Sting won the first Battlebowl and is the most popular wrestler in the company by far here. Simmons is on the very brink of a heel turn here but not quite there yet. Jesse gets a good shot in at Missy saying it’s hard to say which of them is Sags. Cole has a long blonde mullet-esque thing to the back of his head. It’s idiotic looking but whatever.

Cole and Sags start us off here. And we stall. That’s the sign of a bad match right off the bat. Ok make that Simmons is going to start. Cole did but he was only in the ring for like 4 seconds and never made contact. Nice dropkick by Simmons who used to be World Champion if you can believe that. We go to a completely random crowd shot during an armbar. Did the camera guy get bored or something?

The fans want Sting and I can’t say I blame them. Sags won’t tag him in of course, just because he’s an annoying pest. Simmons comes in to breathe a bit of life into the match but not much. And now we get Sting vs. Simmons, which is kind of awesome sounding. We get a clean break as Simmons really isn’t a heel yet so it’s ok. O’Connor Roll is totally messed up as this is more or less a standoff.

And now back to Keith Cole to end the interesting part of this match. Cole and Sags do absolutely nothing of note as we just kill time here. Sting comes in to wake up the crowd a bit and we go back to the interesting matchup of the whole match. Ron acts all heelish and the fans are far from thrilled to put it mildly. Hey look! More armbars! Cole is just bringing this match down so far it’s not even funny.

Sting beats up Cole with ease and hits the splash in the corner. Sags comes in because he can and hits a top rope elbow for the easy pin. Simmons beats the heck out of Cole after the match.

Rating: C-. On any other show this is probably lower but this show has been so bad that I’ll take what I can get here. Just more or less a nothing match though as the rest of them have been but this at least had something close to a story to it. The whole tag match deal is just REALLY annoying though and I’m bored with it. Naturally there’s nearly an hour of it to go because WCW hates me.

Ric Flair/Steve Austin vs. 2 Cold Scorpio/Maxx Payne

Ok this HAS to be good right? Austin is about the level of Dolph Ziggler at this point and I’m pretty sure Flair is a face at this point, so expect more tension. BIG reaction for Flair. Austin cost Flair the world title about ten days ago. Well of course he did. Payne’s head looks a bit like Undertaker which is kind of weird to say.

Austin and Payne start us off here. Payne is a grunge rocker more or less with long black hair and metal band t-shirts. He can wrestle though, and we hear about Flair vs. Vader at Starrcade. The fans want Flair here, which is odd as less than 5 years later Austin would be the biggest star in the world. Scorpio comes in while Flair yells at Austin. For those of you that have never seen him, go find some of Scorpio’s early to mid 90s stuff as he’s incredibly fun to watch. Basically imagine Morrison with some meat on his bones and a lack of botches with the gimmick of just being awesome.

The future Stone Cold hits the floor and he still looks weird with a star on his tights. Flair comes in again and just owns all. We shift into a far more traditional and old school style of tagging with Flair and Austin making Scorpio the face in peril. Flair with old school heel tactics never gets old, but since he’s more or less a natural heel it doesn’t make him look evil. That makes no sense to me either so don’t try to make sense out of it.

Flair and Austin of course go at it which doesn’t last long. TEXTBOOK suplex by Flair. Just absolute perfection there. Austin with a top rope elbow of all things for two. He was a totally different wrestler once Hart broke his neck. In a stupid looking move, Scorpio just kind of falls down, sending Austin stumbling into the corner. Flair and Payne come in and Flair can’t do anything. A running knee in the corner misses and the Figure Four ends it to a big pop. That’s basic psychology and again it works.

Rating: B-. See, THIS is how you do one of these things. There was a simple story here of two guys making something work and just doing their thing on Scorpio while keeping the bigger and stronger guy out. This was a very simple style, but there is one important thing it had going for it: it worked. Best match BY FAR up to this point and likely of the whole show.

Rick Rude/Shanghai Pierce vs. Marcus Bagwell/Tex Slazenger

Tex is Mideon and Shanghai is Henry Godwin under a mask. Rude is the International World Champion here which in essence is the NWA Title without the NWA. Why do announcers welcome us to a show an hour and a half into it? Are they thinking we got here late or something? Tony points out that we have more wrestlers than spots left in matches, meaning we won’t have everyone called.

Rude is a rather interesting case as he was rarely more than a comedy upper midcard guy but in WCW he was sent to the moon and would have been the regular world champion had it not been for his career ending back injury. The future WWF Tag Champions come in but no one actually does anything as Rude is brought back in.

Rather boring match so far with little happening, but Bagwell plays a decent enough face in peril. He makes a comeback and this isn’t too bad. I can’t remember a quieter crowd in forever though, which is a really bad sign methinks. The commentary stops again which I never got the first time. It’s WCW though so basic errors like these are expected.

This crowd is absolutely silent. It’s almost creepy in a way. Rude and Bagwell go at it and we hit the chinlock because this match hasn’t died enough already. Tony tries to tell us how the crowd is awesome but you can hear the wrestlers calling spots because the people are so quiet. Rude sends Bagwell to the floor while he’s not legal as the crowd FINALLY moves a bit.

Pierce wants a boot from Rude as this is turning into something close to a tag match. It’s still boring but at least we’ve got something going here. The team of heels beat on Bagwell and this is just boring. They switch without a tag and hit a chinlock. This goes on for the better part of eternity until Bagwell makes his comeback. Pierce with a SWEET gutwrench sitout powerbomb. That makes this match not a failure on its own.

Tex makes the save and the crowd wakes up a bit for the showdown between these two. They actually fight and kind of go insane with it. And then Rude makes a blind tag and hits the Rude Awakening to end it. He’s the only guy that has ever made that move look awesome.

Rating: D-. Literally that powerbomb was the only thing that keeps this from being a failure. This match just was boring and nothing of note ever happened. There were about 10 minutes of chinlocks here as of course they decided to give this 15 minutes. Who thought that was a good idea? I mean really, The Godwins and Bagwell and Rude in a 15 minute match. Horrible match but dang that was a cool looking move. Naturally it didn’t get a pin but whatever.

Jesse says it’s too early to pick a winner as we go to our last pairings.

Hawk/Rip Rogers vs. Davey Boy Smith/Kole

Kole is Booker T and Rogers is basically the guy that made OVW mean something. He gets beaten up on the ramp by all three guys as no one liked him and he was a jobber. This basically starts off as Hawk vs. both guys as Davey starts for his team. They make sure we know they’re friends and here we go. They do a bunch of clean breaks and really don’t do much at all.

Test of strength is a standoff and Booker more or less demands a tag. Rogers has a fight with his jacket on the ramp as Booker comes in. I love the face Bulldog saying hey Hawk, I know you’re my friend but I’m going to let this other guy come in and beat on you for no apparent reason. Smith cheers for Hawk as he fights back. Booker with the Spinarooni about 5 years before that had a name.

Rogers finally gets up and Booker smacks him down. Yet again there’s a mini story here but the match isn’t much. You know Rogers’ team is going to win here so why even bother with the false pretense? We hit the chinlock as Smith cheers on Hawk again. And just as I expected, Hawk picks up Rogers and throws him at Booker who can’t kick out for the pin. This would be like Santino getting there.

Rating: D. It’s another comedy match with nothing at all happening as Hawk and Smith wouldn’t fight each other and Rogers was in the match all of 9 seconds. This show just needs to end now as this was just another 8 minute match with a stupid ending. At least it was just 8 minutes I guess.

Battlebowl

Cactus Jack, Vader, Johnny B. Badd, Brian Knobbs, Shockmaster, Paul Orndorff, King Kong, Dustin Rhodes, Sting, Jerry Sags, Steve Austin, Ric Flair, Ric Rude, Shanghai Pierce, Hawk, Rip Rogers

This is just a battle royal with 16 men in int. Yeah that’s all there is going on here. Just to waste time the guys don’t start coming out until after the announcements are done. Rogers can barely move after earlier. Hawk vs. Vader isn’t as much of a train wreck as you’d expect. I really don’t like watching these matches for reviews as there’s nothing to call. Rogers is out first.

We do the split screen for no apparent reason. Oh it’s to show Rogers going out. Pierce is out second. It’s a lot of filling time as we’re about two hours into the show at this point. Badd is out and Penzer kind of messes up the elimination. It comes out as “Johnny B Badd……eliminated…….from Battlebowl.” Just sounded weird but it’s BY FAR the most interesting thing at the moment.

People are literally just standing there waiting on anything to happen. Someone goes out but something tells me it doesn’t matter. Kong is out. Shockmaster is out. Oh apparently the other guy was Cactus. Orndorff is out. That was very rapid fire and we have like 9 left or so. Sting goes to the ramp but that’s not an elimination because I guess that’s not the planned elimination for Sting.

Yeah 9 left and I don’t really care enough to count them all. The worst part is that there is some awesome talent in there (Sting, Flair, Vader, Rude, Rhodes, Austin, Nasty Boys and Hawk, so 6/9 are at least good) and this is still horrible. Actually the Nasties and Hawk are at their best in brawls so they’re all good in this kind of match. And yet it’s still boring somehow.

Everyone just kind of brawls around and nothing is happening at all. Dustin and Austin head to the floor to fight it out a bit. Flair and Vader fight it out which gets NO reaction at all. Rhodes is busted as Austin is back in now. Austin beats on Rhodes as we kind of pair off. For no reason at all Sting/Hawk would get a tag title shot at Starrcade (in a match that went THIRTY MINUTES and ended in a DQ) so they fight for awhile.

The fans are dying more every second. Rhodes puts out the Nasties and Austin puts him out in like 4 seconds to get us down to six. Rude and Hawk are out too so it’s Austin, Sting, Flair and Vader. There’s a great tag match in there somewhere. Race pulls Flair to the ramp and they slug it out a bit which brings a small smile to my face. Naturally no one says anything about their epic rivalry but that might be interesting so we’ll steer clear of it.

Everyone leaves the ring to fight on the ramp for awhile. No one went over the top so they’re all still in. Stuff like this makes my head hurt as it makes the whole match just seem completely pointless. Vader hits Flair with a splash on the ramp and gets stretchered out to take him out of the match. Now logical booking would have him come back and make a big heroic win by throwing Vader out to build drama to Starrcade. How much do you want to bet that doesn’t happen and Vader wins clean?

Back in the ring Vader and Austin both go for top rope splashes on Sting but the only face left fights them both off. He does what would become known as a spear to Vader as the fans chant Whomp There it is for no apparent reason. Vader splashes the heck out of Sting to take him down. Lots of splashes follow but Sting finally gets away and slugs it out with Austin.

He makes the Superman comeback and the chant starts up again for no apparent reason. That lasts about 30 seconds as they beat on him some more. Vader hurts his back on a Vader Bomb. A corner splash misses and Sting throws Austin to the ramp. Vader knocks him over and Austin falls off the ramp to eliminate him. That’s something I’d book in OCW.

This leaves us with Vader vs. Sting, with the logical booking being give it to Sting I guess so my money is on Vader. Sting does the falling headbutt into the groin spot which is one of my favorites. He gets the always awesome fireman’s carry of Vader. Sting’s strength is always underrated. Sting misses the Splash though and falls out so Vader wins to end the show.

Rating: D. A boring battle royal to end a boring show. Isn’t that appropriate? This was just a weak match that went on FAR too long. A 16 man battle royal got nearly half an hour. At least with 91 they had two rings so the double elimination thing ate up some time. This was just boring on so many levels.

Overall Rating: F+. This show isn’t so much bad as much as it’s painfully boring. The idea is fine but the problem with it is that you need more than one decent tag match to end the show. For one thing the whole idea was partner vs. partner at times and other than that it was just awkward pairings that never got anything going whatsoever.

Also having Vader win is freaking stupid. The champion wins a big match like this? It was dumb when Hogan did it in the Rumble and it’s dumb here. Just a completely boring show that never went anywhere at all. This show was DYING for another match or two to flesh out the card so we didn’t have all these matches get 12+ minutes. Note to promoters: long does not necessarily mean good. Definitely not worth seeing.

Clash of the Champions 9: New York Knockout
Date: November 15, 1989
Location: RPI Field House, Troy, New York
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Gordon Solie

Here we have a two match show: Flair vs. Funk II in an I Quit match and Pillman vs. Luger for the US Title. Luger was awesome in 89 and Funk was his crazy old self (yes he was old back then too). That being said, for a free TV show is there anything else you really need? In short, no. These old Clashes are usually very hit or miss but as almost always it was based on the card. This looks good so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Flair vs. Funk which is about pride and not the title.

Freebirds vs. Road Warriors

The Birds were world tag team champions here but had already lost the titles at a TV taping before this aired. This is non-title anyway so it doesn’t matter. Hayes vs. Hawk gets us going and Hayes gets too cocky which catches up with him. Yeah I’m stunned too. Off to Garvin and he gets his head taken off by a dropkick. Off to Animal and similar things happen. We’re more or less in a squash so far. Animal misses a charge and the champs double team him a bit. After about 90 seconds of that, Hawk comes in and tosses the referee and it’s a DQ. The fans boo that out of the building.

Rating: D. Wow this was pointless. Somehow everything I said in there too over five minutes. I have no idea what they were going for here, especially with the title change airing later in the week. Doesn’t this make the champs look weak going into their title defense? Either way, the Steiners would get the belts and hold them for a very long time so no one remembers this anyway.

Funk lists off various things that he and Flair disagree on. Gary Hart, Funk’s manager, says do it for Texas.

Time for a vote of who the most popular wrestler in the NWA is. Gee I wonder who it’s going to be. To the shock of no one with anything resembling knowledge about this era, it’s Sting. There’s another award for Wrestler of the Decade. This is actually voted on by the PWI Editors and all that jazz and allegedly Hogan lost a fair vote to Flair. I’ve heard multiple rumors that this was rigged and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was true.

Woman, the manager of Doom, shows off her cleavage and says Doom is awesome. She promises a surprise for Rick Steiner later tonight.

Doom vs. Eddie Gilbert/Tommy Rich

Doom is Ron Simmons/Butch Reed in masks. They would take the titles from the Steiners in the summer of 1990. Gilbert tries an O’Connor Roll and can’t even get one. The Tennessee guys work on Ron’s arm and it’s off to Reed now. I think Rich/Gilbert are faces here. After a brief control segment by them, Doom realizes they’re a real team and not a pair of thrown together guys and starts taking over. This is one of those matches that needs to be a lot shorter. What is supposed to be a hot tag to Rich and everything breaks down, allowing a middle rope modified Hart Attack to pin Rich.

Rating: D. This was another bad match. Doom would get a lot better but they needed better opponents at this point. Rich would join the York Foundation in like a year which would be his last grasp at anything of note. This was nothing though and Doom would get a lot better rather soon.

Time for Jim Cornette’s talk show segment with his guests the Steiners. This is important for one thing: Scotty has been using a move and Cornette wants a name for it. Rick talks about watching a movie the other day and he came up with a name for it, and for the first time ever we hear the name Frankensteiner. They talk about their match later and Doom for a bit but this was all about naming the move. They make fun of Woman a bit also.

Midnight Express vs. Dynamic Dudes

The Dudes are Shane Douglas and Johnny Ace Laurinits (Yes the one from Raw) as skateborders that are straight out of the 80s. Both teams have Cornette as their manager so he’s in a neutral corner. Basically he was starting to manage the Dudes but was still under contract with the Express and they signed the match without him, putting Cornette right in the middle.

It’s the Lane/Eaton version and they try to convince Corny to come to their corner but he turns them down again. Douglas vs. Eaton to get us going. Is there a tag team fetish tonight? They fight over the arm to start and it’s off to Lane quickly. Shane works on his arm as well and we’re in a technical match to start us off. In something you’ll almost never see, Cornette calls out Stan Lane on his hair pulling. This is surreal to watch.

Ace comes in and the idea of seeing the current version of him in trunks is very wrong. In a NICE touch and a fine example of the difference between today’s announcing and the old version of it, Solie is going over the upcoming house show schedule but says they’ll get to that in a minute because he doesn’t want to miss this action. We go to a headlock and they go over the rest of the schedule. See now, WAS THAT SO HARD??? It took about 30 more seconds and the wrestling gets played up stronger as well as the announcements getting more focus. Everything wins.

Shane avoids a superplex from Bobby and gets a rollup for two. Off to Ace and he’s just not that good. Lane takes him down and the Express takes over to a big pop. The Rocket Launcher gets knees and everything breaks down. With Shane getting a chain from somewhere, Jim comes in to grab it after it fell on the floor. He turns on the Dudes though, getting the crowd way into it and Eaton steals the pin as the Express is back together.

Rating: C. Not a bad little tag match here and the idea is that it burned off two angles: the Dudes being the new team of Cornette and the Express getting back together for their one final run. Nothing great here and the dudes weren’t all that good but this was ok and the fans were way into it so that’s all that matters.

Super Destroyer vs. Steve Williams

Destroyer is Jack Victory in a mask. Destroyer jumps Williams early and here’s Norman the Lunatic (Bastian Booger) as Santa Claus. Williams takes over quickly and gorilla presses him with multiple reps and then a clothesline to the floor. Back in the Oklahoma Stampede (powerslam) ends this. Total squash.

Norman gives Doc (Williams) a teddy bear afterwards and Norman gets a hug. Cute.

Steiner Brothers vs. Skyscrapers

It’s Sid and Dan Spivey. Rick vs. Spivey to get us going and Rick is like HAVE A GERMAN BOY. Back in Spivey hits a tombstone (keep that in mind) for two as Scott saves. Everything breaks down and Scott comes in with a Frankensteiner to Spivey and a fallaway slam to Sid. The fallaway slam was botched and Sid would be out for months with an injured lung. His replacement on the team was a guy from Memphis. He hung around for a year and then would leave for the WWF where he would wear a trenchcoat and come out to funeral music.

The tall dudes aren’t sure who is legal at the moment so it’s Sid vs. Scott now. Off to Spivey who beats Scott down for a bit until the Steiner Brothers remember that they’re the Steiner Brothers and beat down the tall dudes like they’re nothing. Hot tag brings in Rick, although I’d question how hot a tag can be in a five minute match. Doom runs in and it’s a DQ. During this, two things happen. First of all, Simmons runs in and immediately Scott snaps off a picture perfect Frankensteiner to send him outside. I’ll get to the second thing in a minute.

Rating: C-. This could only be so good as the Steiners were untouchable around this time and would take the tag titles that rightfully belonged to them in about three days. The tag division was awesome at this point and would keep getting better, namely because the Steiners were totally awesome.

The Road Warriors run out to even the odds and the fans ERUPT. A big brawl takes us to a commercial.

Post break the two good teams talk about the Iron Man Tournament, which was a round robin tournament held at Starrcade between three of these four teams. The Skyscrapers were out so the Samoan Swat Team took their place. The tournament wound up sucking and the Road Warriors won. It did however contain one of the two (the other being in 96 on Nitro) meetings between the Road Warriors and the Steiners which could have main evented a PPV. They all cut promos but for some reason the New York Knockout logo is on the screen instead of them.

Oh yeah the other thing that happened: Woman’s bodyguard Nitron debuted and did very little. He later played Sabretooth in the X-Men trilogy.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Brian Pillman

Lex is a heel here but he’s having such awesome matches and is so scary as an athlete that he’s getting over as a face despite being heel recently. We talk about the singles Iron Man tournament which has Sting, Luger, Flair and Muta. Things start off very fast and Pillman fires off some dropkicks and Lex heads out to cool his head. This is a rematch from Halloween Havoc where Luger had to cheat to keep the belt. Back in and Luger can’t get anything going as Pillman has everything planned out.

A missile dropkick gets two for Brian. Out to the floor and Lex goes into the post as this has been all Pillman. More chops put Luger down and back inside we go. The champ FINALLY gets something going with a belly to back and momentum shifts. Lex is in his zone now and he sends Pillman out to the floor. He starts working on the back with a slam on the floor and a suplex back in for two. See how easy psychology can be?

Powerslam puts Pillman down but after Lex poses too much Pillman grabs a rollup for two. Things speed up a bit and Brian hits a clothesline to put Lex down. Top rope cross body, Pillman’s finisher, takes Lex down but the referee went down as well. Pillman hammers away even more but Lex cracks him in the head with a chair and since all referees are deaf and blind, it’s enough for the pin for Lex to retain and draw a bunch of booing.

Rating: B. Good match here as both guys worked hard out there. Pillman looked great at first and it’s a nice ending as Lex has to cheat to win. That’s the right idea at times and I think it works pretty well here. Lex would lose the tournament in the last match to Sting but would keep the US Title for about 11 more months.

Luger beats him down post match until Sting comes out for the save. Luger wants a showdown and Sting is all like BRING IT ON but Lex is scared of Sting in dress pants (and to be fair it’s a weird look on him) so he bails. Sting chases after him and gets in a single punch but Lex runs more. They wouldn’t have their big showdown for about 15 months with Sting winning the title at SuperBrawl II.

Flair talks about how he’s going to still be champion after tonight and this company is great. Tonight it’s an I Quit match and for two legends like them, that’s humiliating and the end. The loser has to retire and to Funk’s credit, when he loses here he did in fact retire for the rest of the year and didn’t wrestle in WCW until 1994. He wrestled in ECW a lot and in Japan some, but I guess that’s a good result for a Funk retirement.

Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair

I Quit match remember. This is non-title but Flair has said he’ll forfeit the title if he loses. Funk has Gary Hart with him and offers him a chance to walk out before the bell. Funk is sent to the floor and is all mad. I mean more than usual that is. Flair whips him around a bit and we head out to the floor with Ric hammering away. Into the ring again and they hit the mat for a bit.

They almost go onto the announce table and are fighting on the apron now. Flair chops him but falls down as Funk is still standing. We head back to the floor and it’s all Funk. He pounds away back in the ring in the corner and says to Flair to say it but Flair grabs an atomic drop to take over again. Funk slaps Flair so Flair chokes him. They’re back on the floor again and Flair pounds him into the crowd.

Back inside now and Flair demands that Funk say I Quit. Funk gets in a shot and a swinging neckbreaker as he yells about the attack (Funk piledrove him onto a table to start the feud) and his bad neck. Piledriver still doesn’t get a yes. Another one on the floor hits and Flair is practically dead. This is a nice touch as Funk is the crazy brawler and Flair is in WAY over his head. Funk sets up a table (back when that’s a HUGE deal) but Flair fights back with hard chops.

Ric is all fired up and Funk staggers around like there’s something wrong with his inner mind. He gets crotched on the railing and the little Funkers aren’t happy. Funk’s selling is really quite good. Now it’s time for the knee and the fans cheer. Flair was indeed popular back in the day. This is fired up Flair, almost like you would see in the Vader match about four years later.

Funk tries to leave up the aisle and Flair tackles him from behind and is all like “you wanted this and now you’re getting it.” In something you won’t see that often, Flair suplexes Funk over the top and onto the apron. There’s the Figure Four and after fighting as long as he can, Funk actually says he quits and it’s over.

Rating: A-. Not much to complain about here as the transformation from wrestler to fighter/crazy man by Flair was a great sight to see. Once he got going, Funk was trying to survive instead of win which was a very cool thing to see. This match worked and is well worth seeing, if nothing else for the storytelling in it. And to see Funk quit, which you’ll likely never see again.

Flair demands a handshake and gets one but Gary Hart, Funk’s manager, jumps him and Muta/Dragonmaster run in for a double beatdown. Here’s Sting (who never put his shirt back on I guess) for the save. Sting puts Hart in the Scorpion and Flair puts Muta in the Figure Four. Luger comes out and hits everyone with a chair to set up the big beatdown. Well every face that is. Luger breaks the trophies (which were in the middle of nowhere next to each other) to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Keep in mind that this was a free TV show. You had to very good matches and the rest of the show certainly isn’t bad. It’s just kind of there. For a free show though and a TV special, this is something that I’m totally fine with. It set up Starrcade (where there were literally no non-tournament matches) well even though the show sucked and it blew of Funk vs. Flair and turned Funk face. Good stuff and one of the best Clashes.

Ring of Honor
Date: October 8, 2011
Location: Frontier Field House, Chicago Ridge, Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness

Hopefully the third week gets a bit better than the previous two. I’d imagine we’ll see more of a focus on the tag team scene which has been the theme of the show so far. It’ll also be interesting to see if the shows are the same for everyone so far. The final thing they need to do is have a third match. That would fix a lot of problems as it would fill in some of the holes. Let’s get to it.

The Briscoes open the shows in an interview with Cornette. I’m starting to see the issues with the production values as you can’t really hear what Cornette is saying. In short, the Briscoes want the title shot at Haas/Benjamin and they have to beat the All Night Express next week for the title shot. The Briscoes are rednecks from Delaware and are the most successful tag team in ROH history.

We get a focus on the Dominant Male, Tomossa Ciampa. He’s undefeated and part of the Embassy which is a long running heel stable that has only been kind of successful. It’s leader is Prince Nana who claims to be a prince from Ghana who finances the team with his tax collections. He lost his money and got rich again through Obama’s stimulus package. I can’t say they’re not getting creative. Basically Ciampa trains a lot and is tough. There you go.

Andy Ridge vs. Tomossa Ciampa

Steve Corino is on commentary for this match. Ridge likes to kick a lot. The first bell rings at about 17 minutes into the match. Ridge fires off some kicks but Ciampa suplexes his way out of it. They go to the apron and it’s chops vs. kicks. Ciampa gets sent to the floor but he pulls Ridge off and sends him into the barricade in a hard shot.

Off to a head scissors which is a lot harder than it sounds. Ridge fires off a kick (shame we were looking at Nana at the time. It might have been a chacha contest for all I know) and hits a slingshot cutter. And never mind as he takes a bunch of knees to the head in the corner. A powerbomb into a backbreaker ends this at 4:45.

Rating: C-. Just a squash here and I don’t think anyone expected anything else. It was nothing great but Ciampa looked good and that’s what it was supposed to do. Ciampa is a guy that in a company like WWE would be built up and fed to Cena or Hogan back in the 80s but for this, I’m not sure I can see him going anywhere. For one thing, there’s no real storyline on this show. It’s random matches with a title match at the end. Oh and the finisher is called Project Ciampa.

A fan is asked about the main event and says bring back Kevin Steen, who is a wrestler that lost a mask vs. career match like 10 months ago. They’ve been building to his return for awhile.

Roderick Strong says winning the title is like being the captain of the football team. Richards talks about his grandfather having cancer while he was winning his first title and then trying to get to the hospital when he passed away. I know they’re trying to make Richards this feel good story but I’m just not buying it. Granted I’m not a fan of his at all.

ROH World Title: Roderick Strong vs. Davey Richards

Strong is part of the House of Truth which is Truth Martini’s heel stable. There’s a lot of time for this, provided they don’t end three minutes before the hour again this week. Feeling out process to start and Richards hooks on a modified surfboard which I remember Pillman using a few times. Strong counters it and we get this idiocy: Kelly: “Look at this!” That sounds fine, but they cut to a shot of Martini as he said it. Brilliant guys. Brilliant. They speed things up and Richards is sent to the floor as he tries an ankle lock.

They head to the floor with Richards missing a baseball slide so that Strong can take over. They chop it out because you have to have at least three strike exchange sequences in an ROH match. Martini distracts Richards and Strong gets in a shot for two as we take a break. Back with a video of more striking during the break. Richards gets a belly to back suplex and both guys are down.

More strikes and Strong goes down this time. Out to the floor and there’s a big suicide dive by Richards and then a missile dropkick gets two. More striking and we get it: they can throw forearms at each other. Crucifix gets two for Richards and then Strong fires off a kick for two. We head to the apron where Richards takes a belly to back suplex on the apron for two. They strike some more which Richards no sells and then a clothesline takes Strong down.

I know I say this a lot, but here are more strikes which take up a lot more time than it should. Richards fires off kicks in the corner but Strong shrugs them all off and hits a gutbuster for two. The fans say it’s awesome and I’m going to think I disagree. A superplex into a falcon arrow gets two for Richards and it’s into an ankle lock which is one of Richard’s finishers I guess.

Martini gets on the apron and Strong taps but Richards, ever the face idiot, lets it go to chase Martini. Strong gets a big boot and puts on the Strong Hold (Boston Crab) but Richards rolls through to the ankle lock. That is escaped also so Strong spits on him, gets kicked a lot and the ankle lock ends it at 22:14.

Rating: C-. This match sums up everything I don’t like about Davey Richards and ROH. There was no flow, there was no story, there was ZERO psychology, the selling was all over the place and as someone else I read talking about this match, you could watch the last thirty seconds and get most of the match. The striking is so repetitive it’s unreal and when they just stop selling them and hit something else it makes my eyes roll.

Then we get to the finishers. Here’s the thing: a hold like the ankle lock is stupid to use as a finisher (and yes Kurt, I’m talking to you too) if you don’t try to use it from the very beginning of the match or work on the ankle throughout the match. In short, if you can get the submission that fast on an ankle lock, why would you get your brains kicked in for twenty minutes beforehand? Look at someone like Ric Flair: he uses a leg lock but before he goes for it, he at least uses a knee crusher and a chop block to soften it up. It’s about building to a finisher rather than just hooking one all at once which is what makes a match work.

This was all about striking each other in the head and trying to make a match flashy without putting any real thought into it. “But KB! That makes it more realistic!” Good for it. Here’s the thing though: PRO WRESTLING IS NOT REAL! Also, look to something like UFC: when people get hit in the face over and over again, THEY GO DOWN. It doesn’t make it look realistic. It makes it look stupid and goes against the point of pro wrestling in general. I could go on for days about how stupid these matches are but I’ll cut myself off here.

Overall Rating: D+. I know some people will say how great the main event was and while it had some cool spots, it really wasn’t great or even that good. The rest of the show was the usual ROH formula: talk a lot, short match, talk some more, talk about the main event, commercial before main event, main event, go off the air with 5% of your show left. I know they taped these all at once, but this is a good example of why that’s a bad idea. They need to make a lot of changes at the Louisville tapings but I’m not sure if they knew the issues before they taped there. I hope so.

Results
Tomossa Ciampa b. Andy Ridge – Project Ciampa
Davey Richards b. Roderick Strong – Ankle lock

Smackdown
Date: October 7, 2011
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

This is the first Smackdown after the walk out on Monday so I’m sure we’ll hear about that non-stop. Henry is still world champion so we’re probably looking at Henry vs. Orton III at Vengeance because the Cell is just another match in this feud that probably ends in last man standing or something like that. Anyway we’re in that weird period again where we have to push hard for Vengeance but there is so much from Raw that we need to take care of that first. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long video about the walk out and all that jazz. This eats up like four minutes.

Teddy is in his office (and gets a pop) and is on the phone with HHH. He says he won’t let the Game down. Ryder pops up and Teddy says that he (Teddy) is in charge tonight. Ryder wants to know what’s going on with the walk out and Teddy says it’s none of his business but Raw’s loss is Smackdown’s gain so he has work to do.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is stupid stories that go totally in the face of continuity or character development like Beth, the monster that eliminated Khali from the Rumble a few years ago saying she was just a girl and could get hurt, for the sake of drama.

Big Show is back tonight.

Here’s Vickie to open the show with the disgruntled heels in the ring behind her. Christian takes credit for the whole uprising and the fans chant for HHH. Ziggler says it was a group effort and they were the leaders of the walk out. Barrett is with them too. Otunga says they’ve walked out on HHH and Raw but will be here on Smackdown. Wait….oh never mind.

Anyway if HHH doesn’t quit Monday, they’re leaving house shows and PPVs as well as Smackdown. Barrett says HHH should do the right thing and resign. Cody says he’s part of a united front and now there is hope for change. However they all couldn’t have done it without one (unnamed) man. Swagger says show some respect for Alberto Del Rio. Ok so it was Del Rio’s plan? Here’s the champ and he says he survived the Cell and is champion despite HHH. They’re never going back to Raw until HHH is gone. He’s here tonight to compete.

Cue Teddy who says if these guys keep talking then it’ll be the audience that walks out. The main event is Cody/Christian vs. Sheamus/Orton. Alberto is up next though and has a match against a hand picked opponent (Alberto’s hand that is) and that would be Sin Cara. I’m assuming they mean the blue one because heel vs. heel doesn’t happen.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Del Rio starts off hot to start and Cara is beaten down quickly with the Mexican hitting a German on the Mexican. It was so good that we saw it on two different replays. Off to a chinlock which Booker says is spectacular. Cara goes up and hits a rana and a tornado DDT as things speed up a bit. Cole blames Lawler for the walk out which is right in a way. And that doesn’t matter as the cross armbreaker ends this in 3:18.

Rating: D+. Not sure what the point of this was as Cara was treated like a total jobber. Don’t get me wrong: he shouldn’t have had a chance in there and shouldn’t have won or anything like that, but I would have expected more than three minutes and change for a guy that had a featured PPV match five days ago. Del Rio looks dominant though and that’s what this was for.

Post match Sin Cara Black comes out to beat up Blue. He works on the arm a lot and hits a Swanton to leave Cara laying.

Cole says he walked out because HHH wasn’t listening to anyone but himself. Booker says he’s neutral and had to go to the bathroom. Little too much information there Book.

Air Boom says it’s probably not HHH’s fault but until HHH steps down, Air Boom won’t be on Raw but they’ll be on the blue show every week. Kofi says it’s due to chaos, but it hasn’t been chaotic at all, at least not more than normal.

Air Boom vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Air Boom has new music. I guess we’re doing the whole “challengers get beaten time after time but keep getting shots and matches until they win once and can declare themselves better based off that one match” thing. They jump the champs during their entrance and take over early. It’s a big beating in the aisle but I think we’re still going to start the match in a few minutes here.

Bourne takes a Zig Zag on the floor and we take a break. Back and we actually have a bell to start. Bourne is out cold so it’s 2-1 with Kofi starting against Swagger. Evan is sitting up now. Kofi avoids a splash and it’s off to Jack again. Ok make that Dolph. Team Vickie is beating Kofi up pretty well here. A double clothesline puts both guys down. Kofi is still in his t-shirt. Bourne pops up onto the apron and tags himself in but his neck is messed up. Dolph hits a neckbreaker and the gutwrench powerbomb ends this at 3:08.

Rating: C. Not bad here although it was short. The idea here is simple: the heels cheated to win. Why do you need anything more than that at times? The neckbreaker was smart as it played to the injury rather than going with some generic move that doesn’t play to the established injury. Why do so many guys have issues figuring that out? This was fine.

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

Glam Slam, pin, 35 seconds.

Post match Nattie puts Alicia in the leg hold and Alicia screams as Beth wants tears. This is kind of disturbing. But can she do that to a chick who is known for spanks and Stinkfaces and has a song about hollering in a club? Apparently not on her own.

Video 9583 on Henry, this one featuring Big Show.

Big Show makes his return and certainly hasn’t lost any weight. He talks about how good it is to be back and praises the fans a bit. We get a clip from MITB which was 4 months ago in WWE time (the show was July 17). Show talks about how he was humbled by Henry which is an image I didn’t need. He’s starting to cry. Henry reached into his chest and tore out his heart. Show couldn’t do little things anymore like putting on his shoes or going upstairs or playing with his dogs. Dude you broke your ankle. You didn’t lose your legs.

The fans chant for him and we actually see them chant. The pain is what fueled the fire in his stomach. He used it to get better and stronger. Henry is going to get the pain and hurt back ten times over. Show says Henry is on a roll, but it’s downhill. At the bottom of that hill is Big Show and all the pain and anger is being loaded up in his fist. He’s going to put that fist onto the side of Henry’s head until Show takes the thing that Henry defines himself by: the World Heavyweight Championship. He’ll settle for nothing less than a one on one match and he wants it RIGHT NOW.

Here’s Henry who says that things have changed since Show was here. The Hall of Pain is getting crowded and now he’s the World Heavyweight Champion. Henry wants to know who Show has beaten recently to earn a shot. They keep saying four months. Can no one in this company ready a calendar or count to three? Henry says he’ll let Show know about when and if Show gets a title shot. Show says Henry has until the end of the night or he’ll break Henry’s ankle and put him through the table. I liked Show here as he kept things simple.

Orton says he doesn’t want to beg for one more match and if he has to go through the entire roster, he’ll do it. As for the walk out, if he had a problem with HHH he’d go take care of it in person. He doesn’t play well with others so Sheamus will have to see how things go tonight in the main event. This was said with a non-evil smile.

Brodus Clay is still coming. As long as he doesn’t run into Johnny Curtis he’ll be fine.

Mahal runs his mouth a bit and is cut off by Big Zeke’s music. He only talked about 4 seconds so it wasn’t anything to see.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Jinder Mahal

He talks some more and gets shushed and then punched. Jackson overpowers him to start and then runs through him with the slams. Mahal escapes the Rack and fires off with a jumping knee. Jackson shrugs it off and slams him even more before the Rack ends this at 2:06. Just a squash. Did Mahal walk in on Vince practicing Stand Back or something?

Post match Jackson says shhh again.

Johnny Ace comes in to see Teddy and says we’re in uncharted waters. They’re both company men and since HHH isn’t here tonight, Ace is supporting Teddy. If Teddy loses control of Smackdown, the WWE Universe will lose faith and then……well that’s all he says.

Here’s Hornswoggle. He and Booker go into the ring and do Spinaroonis. They get cut off by Christian and it’s already main event time? Wow there’s a ton of time left too.

Christian/Cody Rhodes vs. Sheamus/Randy Orton

They have over 20 minutes for this. Sheamus vs. Christian gets us going but it’s off to Cody very quickly. Cody gets pounded down and we get the forearm smashes in the ropes. The Canadian distracts the Irishman so that the American can hit a Russian for two. The mask Cody wears costs $20,000 according to Cole. Methinks Cody got ripped off. Hot tag to Orton who cleans hour and beats up Christian. Something sounds right about that. Booker: “These guys know each other like a good book and right now Orton is reading him like never before.” Cole: “WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF???”

Elevated DDT hits but some Cody distraction lets Christian take over as we go to a break. Back with the heels working over Orton and it’s off to Cody. Oh I forgot we still have Henry’s reply to Big Show so they won’t use the full time. Orton avoids a spear and it’s hot tag to Sheamus. Flying battering ram misses and the Irish Curse is now a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Why do they keep changing the names of moves? Cody escapes the Brogue Kick but an RKO out of nowhere by the illegal man pins him at 6:25 shown of 9:55.

Rating: C. I really wasn’t impressed here but the match was ok. Sheamus keeps looking good and I’m glad he and Orton seem to be sharing the top spot on the show. Good enough for a main event but the shortness of it really hurt things here. This getting more time would have helped it as there wasn’t enough time to build drama or anything like that.

Remember the video about the walk out earlier? Here it is again.

There will be a Raw Monday but we’re not sure who will be there.

Here’s Marky Mark for his reply to Big Show. He talks about how he’s infallible just like Big Show but Show gets no title match. Show comes out and beats down Henry. He beats the champ down and shoves security out of the way. A spear puts Henry down and security gets beaten down again. Henry leaves and holds up the title but for once, someone goes after him while he’s standing there and the fight starts up again.

Henry throws him around (that’s still scary) and sets for the Slam through the table. Show fights back and gets a good chokeslam to put Mark through it. He wraps the chair around Henry’s ankle and (after tossing a huge chair aside with one hand) he pulls the steps over and looks to Pillmanize it but Teddy calls him off, saying Show gets the world title match as long as he doesn’t jump onto the ankle. Show steps down and walks away but then goes back and cracks Henry over the back with the chair. Henry looks mostly dead to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a pretty weak show overall, especially by Smackdown’s normal standards. We have our main event and I really like that it isn’t Orton again. He looks like he’s shifting over to Rhodes which would be a nice breather outside of the main event for him. As far as Henry vs. Show goes, that could be interesting and decent if they keep it short. No more than like 8-9 minutes and it could be watchable, which is the case for most monster battles. Watchable show here, but not great by any means.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Sin Cara – Cross Armbreaker
Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler b. Air Boom – Gutwrench powerbomb to Bourne
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox – Glam Slam
Ezekiel Jackson b. Jinder Mahal – Torture Rack
Randy Orton/Sheamus b. Christian/Cody Rhodes – RKO to Rhodes

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 6, 2011
Location: Knoxville Civic Auditorium, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re in Knoxville now (if that wasn’t clear before) and it’s Hulk Hogan’s retirement announcement. Why do I have a feeling that may not be legit after last year’s hospital ordeal. Anyway, we have two more shows before BFG so I’m sure Bobby Roode still respects Kurt a lot and that he’s the next world champ. If you’re not sure, just listen and I’m sure you’ll hear it a few dozen times tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Beer Money to open the show. Roode finishes the Fourtune gauntlet tonight and they’re in the semi main event. Storm isn’t happy with this because Hogan is taking the spot from them. It’s time for Hogan to retire. Roode talks about facing the other members of Fourtune and needing to beat them to get here. He needs Storm at his best for the sake of getting him ready for Angle. Storm will do that later and tonight he might be a little better than Roode.

Sting is here in a red jacket and a Hogan t-shirt.

Since it’s Hogan’s big nights, we look back at Hogan moments in Impact Wrestling. First up: Hogan arrives on January 4, 2010.

Kazarian vs. Gunner

This is fallout from last week with Traci’s pull apart brawl and Gunner laying out Kaz. They fight over the arm and Kaz’s goes into the post. Back in Gunner works on the arm for a bit but Kaz takes the leg out to take over for all of a second. Kaz’s arm goes into the post again, setting up an armbar for the tap at 4:12. That came out of nowhere but I kind of like it….I think. And never mind as Gunner hits him just a tiny bit more and it’s reversed to a DQ.

Rating: C-. No idea what the point of this was although it was cool to see a feud/story go from one week to another. The ending was kind of strange though because it came out of nowhere. It made sense from an injury standpoint as Kaz had his arm worked on for a bit before the tap, but it looked like a regular armbar/wristlock. I don’t get it, nor do I get the point of the post match DQ.

Here’s Anderson to apologize to the people who mean the most to him: his anal openings known as fans. He’s worked for his whole life to get here and isn’t sure what he was thinking when he joined Immortal. He mentions Ray and here he is. They talk about how Ray keeps using weapons to beat him down (“Overcompensating with the chain?) and Ray says Anderson doesn’t get another match. Anderson challenges him to a Philadelphia Falls Count Anywhere match. Wasn’t that already set up?

Roode and Storm are getting ready.

Eric gets here and isn’t happy about the Hogan announcement. They’ve worked together for years and it ends tonight.

Kendrick talks about how Aries has weaknesses and he can exploit them. It’s your usual insane stuff. He insults Kid Kash and here’s Kash to retort with his fists.

Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Winter/Madison Rayne

Mickie vs. Winter to start and it’s off to Madison quickly. Kaz is going to the hospital. Velvet comes in and doesn’t so much so it’s off to Mickie again to beat up Winter. A Thesz Press sets up a neckbreaker which sets up a rana which sets up a two. Angelina’s cheating gets two for Winter. After some uninspired stuff, Velvet comes in and cleans house with a modified X Factor which doesn’t look that good. Angelina grabs the wrong chick’s leg and Winter gets in trouble. Not that it matters anyway as Madison rolls up Velvet with the tights at 4:41 for the pin.

Rating: D+. So what was the point of the leg trip exactly? If you’re going to have Angelina screw up, shouldn’t it lead to it ending badly? The Knockouts are better than the Divas but that’s still not saying much. I do kind of like the sexiness of the Knockouts more but it’s not exactly the best it’s ever been. Nothing to see here but it had all four chicks for BFG in the same match so points for that.

Jeff Hardy is here. AND HE HAS SLEEVES!!!

Remember the one time Hogan wrestled on Impact?

Angle is worried about Jeff and Eric says chill. Angle says cool.

Here’s Eric and he calls out Jeff Hardy. He talks about how he’s been in the business for 25 years and he’s never dropped the ball. I guess we’re overlooking WCW and their huge lead. Anyway Jeff has turned dropping the ball into an art form. Jeff has been looking for another chance but Eric says Jeff is out of chances with him. Eric says Jeff is done so here’s a Twist of Fate for Uncle Eric. He shouts Screw You and Immortal chases him off.

Jeff is still here.

Hogan throwing Dixie out is another moment.

Samoa Joe vs. Crimson

They fight to the corner quickly with Joe taking an early advantage. Off to a cravate which doesn’t get Crimson much of anywhere. They go to the floor and Joe gets in a shot to the leg/ankle that he injured on Crimson a few weeks ago. Joe works over the leg for awhile and then it’s back inside. A leg sweep takes Crimson down and here’s a leg lock that isn’t quite a heel hook according to Taz. Crimson grabs a small package out of nowhere for the pin at 5:13.

Rating: C-. This was more of a brawl than a match but I’m not sure what it solves if anything. Joe still can’t win anything and Crimson continues to win without looking dominant. Not much here but I’ve seen worse. It’ll likely be a three way at BFG with Morgan being thrown in.

Ray tries to talk down Philly to make sure he’s a heel in Philly.

Long video on Roode getting ready for BFG.

James Storm vs. Robert Roode

Face vs. face here and partner vs. partner so you know the respect is way turned up. They feel each other out a lot and Roode controls with a headlock. Storm grabs the arm but gets caught in another headlock. Very technical stuff so far. They hit the ropes and Roode avoids a super kick and takes Storm down with an arm drag. The Fujiwara is avoided and we take a break.

Back with more back and forth stuff. Daniels vs. AJ will be I Quit for no apparent reason. They start slugging it out and Storm is fighting more like a heel than he usually does. Blockbuster gets two. Roode gets sent to the apron so Storm challens his inner Orton with an elevated DDT for two. Back in the spinebuster gets two for Roode. The idea is Storm is getting frustrated while Roode is staying calm.

After Roode gets crotched Storm hooks a superplex for a very long two. Superkick is countered into the Crossface but Storm rolls into the ropes. So I guess Storm > HHH? Codebreaker sets up the Backstabber but it only gets two. The fans say this is awesome and while it’s good I don’t know if it’s awesome. There goes the referee (naturally) and Angle comes out to send Storm into the steps. Nice planting of seeds there but it only gets two. Storm tries another superkick but falls into a fisherman’s suplex for the pin at 13:14.

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here but the ref bump made me roll my eyes. I did like what Kurt is doing though as he’s trying to make Storm turn on Roode and since no one is ever capable of watching tape in wrestling it might cause some of it for the PPV. Good main event and I’d expect to see this headlining a PPV someday soon.

Here’s Hogan for the retirement speech. He talks about how he’s been in Knoxville and how much he loves the fans. He isn’t sure what he’s going to do now with all the free time he has now. Some fans had asked if it was worth a ten hour drive to be here for it and he says yes it’s real. Hogan thanks the fans and they cheer for him again. He holds up the weight belt and lays it down in the ring, saying that Hulkamania is over and let the celebration begin.

Here’s Sting with a rebuttal I guess. He looks like a Hogan/Beetlejuice hybrid here. Sting says he doesn’t buy it but Hogan is like dude it’s real. Sting talks about how amazing it is today that you can have a camera anywhere today. Nothing is sacred today and Sting has some compelling footage about Hogan. Here’s Hogan and Bischoff with Hogan talking about how the fans are going to fall for this retirement hook line and sinker. Hogan makes fun of hillbillies in Knoxville and Hulk in the ring freaks. He says he’ll fight Sting at BFG and if Sting wins he’ll give the company back to Sting and Carter. WOW that was forced.

Overall Rating: C. Not a terrible show here but me being half asleep for a lot of it didn’t help. The wrestling was short but at this point I can live with that because it’s about building up to BFG now and with the card being set, you don’t really need many more new matches or stories going on. Decent show overall but it’s really just holding down the fort until BFG and that’s fine.

Results
Gunner b. Kazarian – Armbar
Madison Rayne/Winter b. Mickie James/Velvet Sky – Rollup
Crimson b. Samoa Joe – Small Package
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Fisherman’s Suplex

http://www.prowrestling.net/artman/publish/TNA/article10021150.shtml

Thoughts on this?

I’d think it’s a good thing.  If nothing else it’ll cut down on the ridiculous number of turns.  Also less crazy match types and stupid stories that are way too complex and thought out for wrestling shows.  It’s not Shakespeare you know.

NXT
Date: October 5, 2011
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Jack Korpela, William Regal

After last week’s newest tag team debut in the form of Hawkins/Reks, there’s an actual tag division on this show which is more than most of the WWE and almost all of TNA can say right now. There are no Pros left and that’s certainly a good thing. It’ll be interesting to see how the walk out from last night will affect the show, but I’ll bet it’s not much at all. Let’s get to it.

Oh and this show is now on Wednesday and we were told that…..oh a good never after the show aired. I read it on a tweet on WWE.com. Nice job guys. Nice.

Two new developments today: first of all if you go to the NXT page it offers you the 9/27 show but if you go to the full episodes tab you can watch today’s show. Also, it offers you an option of voting for rookies. As in potential eliminations. That hasn’t been an option in MONTHS.

Here are Hawkins/Reks to open the show and we get a quick recap of them beating down the Usos last week. They’re invading the show tonight because everything is in chaos. Hawkins apologizes to the fans that watch the show, saying they’re not going to see O’Neil or Tatsu because it’s the Hawkins and Reks Show. Reks says that last night (the video is dated the 5th but Raw was on the 3rd) they walked out on HHH on Raw. He’s tired of opportunities being handed out and squandered. They’re sitting on the top ropes for this so it’s kind of a different looking thing.

Here come the Usos in street clothes. They talk about the lack of respect that Hawkins/Reks have for everything including the ring, the people and HHH. The tag match is made and the Usos clear the ring with a double superkick to Reks and a simple toss to Hawkins. How exactly has Hawkins, a former tag champion, never had an opportunity? I guess that’s in the whole pay no attention to it part of history.

Titus O’Neil vs. Derrick Bateman

Regal says he was torn about walking out on Raw. Titus takes over with his power game and gets two off a side slam and a shoulder block. Regal talks about Maxine’s uncle who is a defrocked abbot who teaches chimpanzees to ride unicycles and on Sunday mornings piddles around in flea markets. Can we just get an hour of Regal’s stories? Bateman takes over with a dropkick but gets a delayed two. The idea here is that Titus is off because there’s no Horny to coach him. Titus starts his comeback but Maxine gets in his way as he tries to go up top. Bateman goes for the knee and that stupid falling bulldog ends it at 5:06.

Rating: D+. Boring match here but at least there was an idea to it. Titus losing that fast makes the bulldog look better, but at the same time it’s still the falling bulldog. Is that really the best they can come up with for him? Also, I can’t believe we actually saw two Rookies fighting each other. It’s almost like this is a competition show or something.

The Raw ReBound eats up about five minutes

JTG and Young make fun of Yoshi for his makeup. They leave and Yoshi goes up to the makeup table but it’s missing. All that is left is a mirror with the letter H and the number 8 (hate) crossed out. The word CHEA is underneath it. So this is what this show has come to? JTG vs. Yoshi Tatsu. Oh me oh my.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. JTG

No paint for Yoshi today. JTG runs immediately and the chase is cut off as he hides behind Darren who has the makeup/paint. Yoshi kicks Darren upside the head and is like GO BACK TO BEWITCHED BOY! The distraction lets JTG take over and he pounds away. Off to a chinlock as we hear about JTG running through the streets of Brooklyn to show he’s not afraid. It also shows he’s an idiot but that goes without saying. Yoshi starts firing off the kicks and the chops because he’s Asian and that means he has to be a martial artist. Top rope spinwheel kick ends this at 4:50.

Rating: C. This was fine. It’s a traditional heel vs. face match and that’s all it tried to be. I kind of like that: there was a quick story made up with JTG as the bad guy and Yoshi as the good guy and the good guy got his revenge on the bad guy. It’s bare bones storytelling but that’s all it really needed to be. I liked it.

Video on Mark Henry who is big and mean.

Daniel Bryan vs. Heath Slater

The announcers talk about almost nothing but the walkout (trademark probably coming soon) but Bryan is his usual submission based self. Bryan hooks Slater’s feet in a surfboard position but jumps up and drives Slater’s knees into the mat. We talk about Regal training Bryan and Regal mentions he let him go on his own to avoid falling into some of the snares Regal fell into.

Now we talk about the end of the PPV because the match isn’t all that interesting. On the floor Slater is sent into the barricade and Bryan hits the running knee off the apron. Back in Bryan fires off a kick and shakes the ropes like Ultimate Warrior. A running dropkick in the corner gets two. Slater starts a comeback but walks into some kicks and a Regal Stretch for the tap at 5:43. Regal: “That’s the first time that move has been seen in 8 years.”

Rating: C-. This was really boring. I think it’s because Slater is officially a jobber to the stars and there’s almost nothing interesting in his matches anymore. Part of that is because of his name I think: what is a one man southern rock band? It tells you nothing about the character. I mean, something like Macho Man tells you he’s tough and Hulk sounds like someone big and imposing. One Man Rock Band says…..what exactly?

Usos vs. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks

We’ll call that Jey starts with Hawkins. Jimmy comes in and cheating takes him down. There’s almost no time left in the show so this isn’t going to last long. Hot tag to Jey who hits a Bubba Bomb and the running hip smash to the face for two on Hawkins. A double assisted Samoan Drop (Alley-Us, pronounced like the team’s name) gets two. Jey goes up but is slammed down by Hawkins. A top rope elbow ends the Usos at 4:53.

Rating: D+. Another boring match here in a string of them tonight. These five minute matches get a lot of people out there but there’s nothing interesting about them. I’d assume this is to keep up the tag title chase meaning something but don’t these teams need to compete somewhere else besides here on NXT? There are four teams here and I’ve seen one on Raw or Smackdown. That’s kind of missing the point isn’t it?

Overall Rating: D+. I wasn’t thrilled with this one and the biggest factor I can attribute that to is the Bryan vs. Slater match. It took time away from other matches and didn’t really add anything at all to the show. Bryan and Slater haven’t been parts of the show in months and the match felt like it was thrown in there to take up space on a shot that was a bit crowded already anyway. This was a step down from recent weeks.

Results
Derrick Bateman b. Titus O’Neil – Falling Bulldog
Yoshi Tatsu b. JTG – Top rope spinwheel kick
Daniel Bryan b. Heath Slater – Regal Stretch
Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks b. Usos – Top rope elbow to Jey