NXT
Date: March 29, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: William Regal, Todd Grisham

It’s week….four I think of this season and this was taped last night before Raw as everyone is heading to Atlanta to make sure they get there in time I guess.  I’d bet on a lot of highlights from last night and build for Mania which is probably the right idea for tonight as it’s not like this is cutting edge stuff on this show.  Let’s get to it.

Striker brings out the rookies as you would expect him to.  I’m typing and not looking at the browser as I write this and it occurs to me that the names of these guys tell us absolutely nothing about these characters.  None of them have descriptive names or even unique ones.  That’s been a problem with the NXT rookies recently.  Novak has gold tights on now.  Is that his method of trying to look different other than those off-white ones he usually wears?

Young has seven points and O’Neil has five which is all that is listed.  Tonight: arm wrestling.  Oh dear.  The fans are restless to say the least.  This is for four points.  The person that wins their first round match in the fastest time gets a bye to the finals.  Young vs. Saxton goes to Young in 23.7 seconds.  The fans are looking like they’re getting a reading of War and Peace at a Guns N Roses concert.

Cannon vs. O’Brian is delayed due to Cannon sanitizing Rat Boy.  Cannon tries to cheat and is disqualified and that counts as the new time of 11.2 seconds.  Novak vs. O’Neil now and O’Neil has lost the manly purple tights.  Novak tries to cheat again and that doesn’t count but it’s not a DQ.  He started early I guess.  O’Neil massacres him and gets the best time to send him to the finals.

O’Brien beats Young to get O’Neil in the finals.  And Titus wins with only a slight issue.  O’Neil has the most redemption points now.

Six man tag later so we’re getting one match here.

Rock vs. Cena video.  Can’t argue with them pushing this.

Package on Young who says he’s not taking a step back but rather a step forward.  I still would like an answer of how a guy that was in the main event of Summerslam is in a rookie competition.

Video on Taker vs. HHH that aired last night.

We recap the Divas/Snooki/Morrison/Ziggler thing.  Oh joy: more mainstream news people trying to sound like wrestling commentators when they have no idea what a wrestling commentator sounds like.

Some R&B singer is singing America the Beautiful.  She’s not Justin Bieber so I’m happy.

Raw ReBound is Rock vs. Cena last night which it should be.  That Attitude Adjustment is going to be on more highlight reels than I can count.  But remember people, according to 411, HHH/Taker/Shawn was a bigger moment.

Speaking of said moment, it’s reaired.  It was good but they had to fit five weeks of build into one night and it didn’t work.  Shawn should be interesting on Sunday though.  This takes up about fifteen minutes but it does set up a single match as well as just about anything else could in that amount of time, especially one without a ton of build aside from “I want to break the Streak.”  The one good thing here is that I can find out what Shawn said after he said I’m sorry.  Apparently it was (to HHH) you can’t win.

Titus O’Neil/Byron Saxton/Conor O’Brian vs. Darren Young/Jacob Novak/Lucky Cannon

 

No entrances for anyone as I have a feeling this is going to be quick.  Cannon vs. O’Brian to start us off with O’Brian working on the arm.  Off to O’Neil as the crowd does not care at all here.  It’s hard to kill off a Chicago crowd but they’ve managed to do it.  Young comes in and gets nowhere other than into the other corner to be beaten down by Saxton.

Young tries to take over and gets kicked in the face.  Elbow puts Saxton down and it’s off to Novak.  Cannon comes in and does his DDT on the leg of Saxton and stretches him a bit.  Saxton fights back so it’s off to Young to beat him down even more.  Novak puts a chinlock on him after a brief melee and that lasts only a few seconds.  Ice cold tag to O’Neil and after he beats on them a bit, a Low Down/spinebuster ends this.  Match ran about six or seven minutes but I forgot to check the time at the end.

Rating: D. They’re trying to make O’Neil the big star this season and it’s kind of working I guess but the fans aren’t caring at all.  The problem is that this is spending 3-4 months to build up to the next season of NXT.  More or less this is a preview of it, making the whole thing six to eight months overall.  Wow this was supposed to be about the six man wasn’t it?  The match was dull with far too many chinlocks and standing around.

Overall Rating: D. What do you really want me to say here?  This was a 40 minute highlight show with arm wrestling and a six man tag.  Obviously I can’t grade it like a regular show but it was more or less 45 minutes to build Mania free so how much can you complain there?  More or less not even an NXT show but it’s not like we’re missing much.  Just a Mania commercial as expected.

Results

Titus O’Neil won the Arm Wrestling Contest

Conor O’Brian/Titus O’Neil/Byron Saxton b. Lucky Cannon/Darren Young/Jacob Novak – O’Neil pinned Novak after a sitout powerbomb

Wrestlemania 22
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Michelle Williams

Now this is an interesting show.  We’re now fully into what I guess you would call the modern era of both the company and Mania.  Cena is the dominant world champion, Orton was his evil self, Taker’s Streak is at full power and Shawn is his Christian self.  This show is much like 19: it’s solid, but easily forgettable for some reason.  The wrestling is good but at the same time nothing jumps off the page at you.

This is also Kurt Angle’s more or less swan song in WWE as far as major angles go.  He was drafted to ECW a few months later and after that did little to anything of note until his release and arrival in TNA.  Jeff Hardy was about four months away from his comeback.  The card looks somewhere between good and better than good so let’s get to it.

An added factor to this show is that I went to the follow up Raw exclusive PPV, Backlash, the next month.  Since I remember it fairly well, I’ll be able to throw in some post show stuff leading up to Backlash.

After America the Beautiful it’s the standard history package to start with I Dare You by Shinedown playing which is a very good song here. The recap videos are something that WWE has always done very well. I don’t remember much of this buildup as it was three years ago but the packages help a lot. The theme song here is Big Time which is a bad pop song. Wrestlemania is supposed to have a freaking ROCK song with it, not a bad pop song.

A video runs us through the main matches and I have to think of the stupid Rey main event tour.  Also tonight it’s Cena vs. HHH and Shawn vs. Vince.  This is one of the weaker Manias as far as cards go if you didn’t get that.
Raw Tag Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

This was around the time that the two giants were just crushing everyone in their paths with reckless abandon. Carlito and Masters were two young guys that weren’t quite thrown together to face them here. As usual the Chicago crowd is white hot.  Kane and Show come out together and weigh over 800lbs.  How in the world is Kane the lightweight on a team?

Masters vs. Kane to start us off here.  This is the first time in seven years that the titles have been defended at Mania in a traditional tag match.  That’s kind of pathetic when you think about it.  Show comes in and drills Masters a bit.  Big chop in the corner makes people say WOO even though it’s a different kind of chop than Flair threw.

Show slams him and steps on the chest of Masters who tags out to Carlito.  The Puerto Rican tries a wristlock and is promptly lifted up into the air and crotched with ease.  Show launches Carlito onto Masters on the floor.  Kane throws out a clothesline to both but lands between them resulting in a massive THUD on the floor but is up first.  Total and complete dominance so far.

Somehow the challengers got the buckle off and Carlito dropkicks Show’s knee to send Show’s head into the buckle.  Off to Masters now but like idiots they try a double suplex and get launched for their troubles.  Kane comes in and a huge backdrop takes down Carlito.

Carlito gets a boot up and that more or less ends his offense.  Masters manages to get the Masterlock on Kane but Show kicks him in the face to break it.  Backstabber to Kane but Carlito walks into a chokeslam.  Masters saves but Kane gets up.  There’s no end to these guys.  Chokeslam to Carlito ends this.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t a classic but it wasn’t supposed to be. This was little more than a glorified squash and that’s just fine for an opener. Both teams would be split up within a month though as the heels argued over who cost them the match here, leading to the Backlash opener which the newly face Carlito would win with a Backstabber. Kane and Show would lose the tag titles to the Spirit Squad of all people and Kane would begin to go insane.

They began a weird tweener vs. face feud where Kane’s voice would play throughout the arena as somehow not only could we hear his thoughts but they were wired around the arena. It tied in somehow to Kane’s See No Evil movie, but it was still pretty bad. It culminated with a fake Kane, apparently from Kane’s past, beating Kane at Vengeance. It made no sense and was a total waste of about three months.

Masters and Carlito argue post match with the fans supporting Carlito.

Shawn says he doesn’t regret telling Vince that Vince needed to grow up because it was the truth.  He talks about how he’s always stealing the show at Mania but not to expect a five star classic out of HBK.  Tonight is about violence because tonight it’s Vince that needs to pray as tonight Vince is enduring his own personal torment.
Money in the Bank

Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay, Ric Flair, Lashley, Rob Van Dam
Lillian in that dress with the cut down to her stomach made me lose consciousness for a bit there.  Shelton is IC Champion here so no defense of it again.  All four commentators are talking here.  Van Dam is pretty clearly the most popular guy here.  Lashley is a freaking beast.  Flair comes out last because I guess he’s the most exciting one with a ladder?  That pink robe kind of makes me think he’s not very extreme.

This is only the second of the matches so there isn’t really a track record.  RVD chant to start as Lashley destroys everyone with power.  Matt brings in the first ladder but Van Dam hits a baseball slide to stop it from coming in and dives on the ladder onto Hardy.  No one is in the ring at the moment until Finlay vs. Shelton goes on there.  Shelton hammers him with a ladder which is set up in front of the ropes like a ramp.  Shelton gets a running start and hits a big flip off of it onto everyone not named Flair.

Finlay and Flair go up but the ladder isn’t in the right place for Flair.  Matt goes up and suplexes the young 57 year old down.  Flair is in agony and the referee throws up the X for him.  Hey, did you know he broke his back in a plane crash in the 70s?  Didn’t know if the first million or so times we told you that got it through or not.  RVD drops Shelton onto the ladder but misses Rolling Thunder on it.  There are only five people in there still at the moment.

Lashley goes up very slowly of course but Shelton runs up only to get popped in the head.  Shelton fights him off but can’t get a sunset bomb to take him down.  Matt and Finlay help him out and down goes Lashley finally.  Another big RVD chant starts up.  Matt takes over on offense but when he puts a ladder in front of Finlay to charge at him Finlay throws the ladder at him for a FREAKING OW MAN moment.

Here comes Flair because he hasn’t been on camera for almost five minutes.  Did he need to be oiled or something?  Since the ring is empty he sets up a ladder but is stopped by Matt.  Flair chops some people away and touches the case.  Finlay pops up with the club that no one can spell and takes Flair down.  The case is swinging though so Shelton is able to stop him or at least slow him down.

Shelton knocks him down and tries to go up but Lashley shoves it down.  Van Dam hasn’t been seen in a good while.  Oh there he is with a chair on the top.  He jumps off and dropkicks the chair into the ladder and everyone is down.  Hardy, the idiot that he is, sets up a ladder in the corner.  Oh instead he’s doing a signature move instead of trying to win.  What a shock.

He goes up and gets a hand on it, drawing a ton of boos.  Finlay makes the save and we’re told he’s not a ladder specialist.  Dude you go up.  How hard can it be?  Side Effect to Finlay off the ladder takes down Finlay, Hardy and the ladder.  Van Dam climbs the ladder in the corner and drops a regular splash on Finlay.  It’s good that he didn’t do the Five Star version as he would have killed himself.

In one of my all time favorite spots, Van Dam goes up top but Shelton springboards from the apron to the top rope to the ladder to catch Van Dam.  That’s simply incredible and beats everything I’ve ever seen.  Matt puts up another ladder but he and Shelton go down.  Van Dam is alone and is like dude that’s awesome and wins the match by pulling down the case.  He would win the title in June but lose it in three weeks due to getting high with Sabu.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here of course but WAY too short to be a great match.  This was less than twelve and a half minutes long to give you an idea of how short it was. This was good but at the same time they needed more to it.  Also with only Lashley and Van Dam being legit contenders out there it was a bit weaker than last year.  Good match though.

Josh Matthews, with a lot of hair, is with Gene Okerlund who has no hair.  Orton interrupts and says he’ll win the title tonight.  Batista pops up and says he’s returning soon, which is true.  Just three short months later he did return.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame class to come out.  Bret Hart isn’t here which is understandable I guess.  The rest is Mean Gene, Sensational Sherri, Tony Atlas (they’re all accompanied by Divas here if that means anything), Verne Gagne, William “Refrigerator” Perry (he couldn’t get a suit for this?) the Blackjacks, Eddie Guerrero (represented by Vickie who wasn’t a TV character yet) and of course Bret who isn’t here.

United States Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit
No real storyline here as it’s really just JBL challenging him for the belt. In a really cool looking visual, the entrance ramp rises up like a garage and JBL’s limo drives out of it. Good lord Jillian Hall looks amazingly hot as a cowgirl.  JBL has a hand injury here.  JBL grabs a headlock to start and takes Benoit down with a shoulder.  Benoit tries the Crossface out of nowhere but can’t lock it in.

Instead Chris settles for some hard chops in the corner.  Out to the floor and JBL hides behind Jillian to take over.  Benoit tries to chop back so JBL KICKS HIM IN THE FACE.  Why mess with what works?  Rolling Germans by Benoit must have JBL wanting to throw out some Nazi salutes.  Benoit goes but get crotched.  Eh with all those steroids in him the balls didn’t feel anything.  JBL does Eddie’s dance to draw big heat and hits a superplex for two.

In a stat that I find almost impossible to believe, Cole says that only 5 matches in Mania history have ended in submission. I had to stop the match and go back to check on that. I found 7: Angle vs. HBK (21), Benoit vs. HBK vs. HHH (20), Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware (6), Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega (12-sleeper) Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin (13-Austin never tapped so I’m not sure if that counts), Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis (3-sleeper) and Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund (11).

Even with Cole being wrong, that’s still amazing. 7 in the first 21 shows meaning just one every three years. That’s either really impressive or really bad.  Anyway JBL dances a bit more and hits Three Amigos.  Benoit counters the third one but gets kicked in the face for two for his troubles.  Off to a chinlock by JBL as things slow down a bit.

Benoit fights back and does Three Amigos of his own with Cole saying “this is how it’s done”, despite Benoit getting up differently than Eddie did.  JBL did the same thing Eddie did.  Flying headbutt by Benoit gets a long two.  Clothesline misses but JBL grabs the referee to avoid the suplex.  Clothesline attempt #2 is caught into the Crossface but JBL casually rolls him over and grabs the rope for the title.  That’s the ending?  Really?

Rating: D+. Seriously, that’s all there is here? The ending was flat out terrible. It made no sense at all and came from nowhere. JBL literally wasn’t in the Crossface for two seconds, and I timed it, before he rolled out. This match felt like it didn’t have a beginning and started at about 5 minutes in if that makes sense. Really not that good at all.

We recap the hardcore match between Edge vs. Mick Foley.  Now this is the match this show is remembered for and with good reason. The story is that Edge stole the WWE Title from Cena using his MITB contract. Foley was the referee for some reason during the rematch, won by Cena. Edge of course says it was biased officiating. That leads to Edge challenging Foley, but Foley saying it’s hardcore. We get this.
Edge vs. Mick Foley
Joey Styles is on commentary here as he freaking well should be. Lita looks INSANELY hot here with the Edge vest, bra and jeans. Good freaking lord. Edge has a ball bat with him. Edge’s facial expressions as Foley comes to the ring makes this match already. That’s his best asset and always has been. When he gets in a big match, Edge’s face is just amazing. Foley has his (blue) flannel shirt on so you know he’s serious here.

Styles actually analyzes Foley’s choice of flannel which is a bit odd. Styles really is a great choice for commentary here as his voice just fits this.  Edge swings away with the bat almost immediately which gets him nowhere.  Tree of Woe by Edge early as Foley drops an elbow on him.  Edge gets a shot in and has Lita hand him a cookie sheet.

These shots are LOUD.  Foley takes a street sign to the head and rubs hit stomach.  Do the sheets smell like cookies?  Edge hits the spear after maybe two minutes and is writhing in pain from it.  Foley gets up and rips off the blue flannel to reveal a belt made of barbed wire and the RED FLANNEL SHIRT!!!  Foley whips him with the barbed wire and Edge is bleeding from the arm.

Edge is now tied up in the rope and the crowd pops for it.  Foley hits the floor and finds Barbie, the barbed wire baseball bat.  Lita comes in for the save by jumping on Foley’s back (seriously is there anyone she won’t hit on?) so Foley is like screw it and we get a Cactus Clothesline to the floor.  That and a neckbreaker outside both get two.

It appears Foley has become Cactus Jack but when he tries a running knee into Edge into the steps he gets hip blocked into the steps which looked awful.  Again the knees go into the steps.  Does anyone wonder why Foley can barely walk anymore?  Chair time by Edge.  Sorry that there aren’t many jokes in this but there’s not much to make fun of.  Edge hits the floor again and busts out a table.

Foley rolls off before Edge can put him through it so instead he just rams him into the steel of the ramp.  That sound made me cringe.  Back in the ring now and Edge has…oh blast it he has lighter fluid.  He pours it on Foley but Mick is able to get a Piledriver to save his own life.  Using a cookie sheet instead of a second chair Edge almost takes a Conchairto.  He manages to get up and give Foley a DDT (not) on the cookie sheet.

Edge with Barbie now (is Lita Ken?) and he hammers Foley with it to draw blood.  A bulldog onto Barbie gets two.  Out to the floor goes Edge and he finds a bag of tacks.  Oh dear.  Apparently he had a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the stairs.  Foley manages to reverse though and suplexes Edge onto the tacks.  Considering Edge wasn’t wearing a shirt that was awesome.

Here’s Socko but Foley wraps it in barbed wire.  Claw to Lita as well and now Foley has Barbie (make sure to use protection since Edge already had her).  Edge takes a shot to the head and is busted open as well.  Oh man he’s cut BAD.  Foley, the nice guy that he is, rips the barbed wire deeper into the skin of our Canadian villain.

Foley finds the lighter fluid and holds it up like a treasure in a Zelda game.  The table gets soaked in it and yep they light it on fire.  In the famous spot from this show, Edge dives through the ropes and spears Foley into the flaming table, burning both men in the process.  The pin is academic.

Rating: A. They wanted to make Edge look awesome and they certainly did it here.  Foley looked great too as once in awhile he can break out a great match and that’s what he did here.  This was exactly what they needed and was enough to let Edge get back into the main event.  Great match and the Mania moment that both guys were looking for.  In true WWE style, they would be partners weeks later.

Foley gets a standing ovation to leave.
Booker and Sharmell are in the back and Sharmell is freaking over Boogeyman. Booker says he’s not a freak magnet. He then runs into Pirate Paul Burchill and then Ted DiBiase and Eugene doing the basketball thing as I mark out.  The basketball thing was where DiBiase would say that if a guy could bounce a basketball 100 times in a row he would give them 1000 dollars.

On about 97 he would kick it away.   He laughs and offers Booker a chance at it, saying everybody’s got a price for the Million Dollar Man. Seriously people, go look up his old stuff. In my opinion, he is still the greatest heel that ever lived. One more note about the basketball trick, back in the 80s, a young man from Battle Creek, Michigan named Rob was swindled by DiBiase. He eventually changed his name to Rob Van Dam.

He also finds Snitsky licking Mae Young’s toes and Goldust dressed as Oprah.  I love these kinds of segments.  Goldie says Booker has to accept the freak in him to beat the Boogeyman.  There’s talk of worms in mouths and in a place that Booker is angry over having Goldust whisper to him.  DiBiase’s laugh takes us off.

Ad for Backlash.  Hey I was there!

We see some sweepstakes winners that no one cares about.

Joe Theisman and Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child are here.

Booker T/Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

The idea here is Booker keeps faking injuries to get out of matches and is threatened with being fired if he doesn’t wrestle. He was found out anyway and here’s your result.  Oh and they’re both terrified of Boogey.  Yes Booker, a five time world champion, is terrified of the Boogeyman.  Booker wants Sharmell to start us off.  It’s weird to hear Cole as a normal announcer at this point.

Booker comes in and hammers away.  This is about what you would expect: Booker pounds away, it doesn’t work, Boogey dances a lot and Booker still can’t hurt him.  Book End hits and Boogeyman gets up at two.  Booker is sent into the post and Boogeyman pulls out a pocket full of worms.  He has a snack and Sharmell tries to hit Boogey with his staff.  She gets kissed by a mouth full of worms and runs.  Chokebomb ends this with Boogeyman winning.

Rating: F. If I need to explain this, you’re an idiot.  Did Booker get caught screw Stephanie while giving TNA inside information and choking out Vince at the same time or something?

We recap Trish vs. Mickie.  In short, Mickie was psycho and wanted Trish.  This involved seeing Trish in the shower and kissing her.  I think they dressed up as each other a few times also.  Trish finally has enough and Mickie loses it.  Trish has been champion for like a year at this point so the title change was long overdue.  Watching this video, the build to this was pretty awesome.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

The main perk here would be their looks.  Mickie would wear these really loose skirts which would often fly into the air.  To the shock of no one, Trish looks incredible.  It’s so ridiculous to see how far the Divas have fallen today.  These girls have personality and are interesting and I want to see them fight after what felt like a somewhat epic storyline built around them.

Trish goes right after her and gets a Thesz Press to take her down.  Big chop puts Mickie down.  Trish knocks Mickie down into the splits and then kicks her in the head.  Out to the floor and the Chick Kick hits the post to set the story for this match.  Mickie works the knee because she’s intelligent despite being psycho.

She DDTs the leg for two as the fans are almost ALL behind Mickie here.  Lots of knee work here which is the main thing involved in Trish’s finishers.  She pulls Trish’s hair and slams Trish’s face into the mat in a painful looking move.  Mickie jumps onto the leg and spins around, looking for praise.

Mickie is mixing up her offense on the leg between holds and strikes to it.  See, THAT is important.  It makes things far more interesting as instead of just sitting around with one thing we get a variety.  She puts a leg bar on but Trish wraps her legs around Mickie’s head and gets a headscissors out of it.  That was rather good actually.

They slug it out a bit more with neither girl having a real advantage.  Mickie goes up but Trish catches her in the Stratusphere.  Mickie counters that though and drapes the leg over the top rope again which gets two.  Half crab is rolled up into a small package which gives us two and a great back shot.  Mickie goes up again but is caught by a sitout powerbomb for two.

Trish hammers away and the Matrish avoids a kick of some sort.  She sets for Startusfaction but Mickie rubs Trish’s crotch to break it up and then licks the hand that was down there.  See, little things like that get the gimmick over.  They set for the ending which is Mickie using the Stratusfaction but Mickie TOTALLY misses the rope and botches the heck out of it.  A weak kick to the head ends it instead.  JR’s line of THE NUTJOB HAS WON THE TITLE sums this up perfectly.

Rating: B. This would have been an A if not for the finish. I’m not sure which is better: the tiny outfits and how sexy both were in them or the fact that this was really a great match. The botch at the end almost kills this though, but aside from that it’s great and one of the best women’s matches I’ve ever seen.  More importantly than anything though: I cared about it because there was an interesting storyline with developed characters.  DO THAT MORE OFTEN!
All four McMahons are in the back and they pray.  What do you really expect here?

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

This match came about after Henry was for some reason pushed as top heel on Smackdown, feuding with Angle for the title. Angle beat him clean at the Rumble and then Taker had Angle beat for the title on Smackdown but Henry attacked the dead man.  Taker than challenged Henry to a Casket Match for some reason and we get this.  No buildup video for this either as they’re not even trying to convince us the Streak is in jeopardy.  Henry is of course not afraid of the dark.

Taker gets the big entrance with the druids.  Oh wait that’s just for the casket.  Hey we do get a brief recap.  I see why it didn’t get a full one.  Daivari is Henry’s manager at this point but isn’t here.  This would lead to the debut of Great Khali.  Henry jumps Taker during his entrance, more or less sealing his fate.  Taker gets a big boot and clothesline but can’t take Henry down.

Clothesline by Henry shifts momentum a bit.  Can you believe that this is the same guy that was able to have classics with Shawn and then on the other hand you have Henry who had been there ten years at this point and has gotten worse after starting bad?  If you can’t tell I’m trying to not have to talk about the match.  Henry goes into the steps, Taker goes into the steps, Old School is blocked and the casket is open.

No one in the world thought Henry had a chance here and the fans are more or less accepting that.  When Henry is on offense there’s no heat at all.  Taker gets a boot to the shoulder and hammers away on it.  Old School hits this time and Henry still won’t go down.  Taker tries a Downward Spiral but is blocked, drawing a Henry Sucks chant.

Henry goes after Taker but misses, landing in the casket.  Taker winds up in there also and they fight in there for a bit.  Taker reaches up and chokes away as this is already needing to end.  Back in the ring with Taker striking but he jumps into the World’s Strongest Slam for no cover as Henry isn’t that intelligent.  Taker stands up in the casket and gets out rather easily.

Taker gets beaten down in the corner and then like the moron that he is, Henry climbs up to pound down punches.  When do you see Taker try cross bodies or Henry do that?  Not a fan of moves like those.  Taker doesn’t get a Last Ride but more or less falls forward to put Henry down.  Henry goes onto the casket so Taker dives over it to take him down.  Tombstone in the ring and the ending is academic.

Rating: D. This was bad for one simple reason: there was no drama to it at all.  Taker matches at Mania can work very well but at the same time there are matches where there’s no point to him being there, such as this one.  I mean dude, Mark Henry?  This was a joke and everyone knew it.  Boring match and nothing happened at all.

There’s a Divas Lingerie show coming up or something.

We recap Shawn vs. Vince.  There was a Raw in Montreal and Shawn apologized to the fans, who kind of accepted it. Vince comes out and laughs about it. Shawn says he needs to grow up, then throws a super kick at him, intentionally missing by as little a margin as he can. This launched a feud which mainly consisted of Vince trying to get Shawn hurt.

Marty Jannetty returned to try to help Shawn but was fired after something like two weeks. Shane faced Shawn on SNME in a street fight and they redid the Montreal finish. Somewhere in there Shawn was forced to kiss up to Vince. It was an ok feud but nothing great. The blowoff was supposed to be here, so let’s take a look.  This was supposed to be Bret but he didn’t do it for four years.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Shawn comes out first which is kind surprising.  Vince is demonic according to JR as he comes out.  McMahon is very proud of his physique and can you blame him?  He has a framed cover of his Muscle and Fitness magazine at ringside which might as well have an X on the middle for the part that goes on his head.  Shawn goes straight to the floor and we head to the tables quickly.

JR loses his headset which makes this match more enjoyable.  Shawn grabs the framed cover and cracks it over Vince’s head.  JR is completely one sided here because of Vince treating him badly over the years or something.  The Spirit Squad hits the ring to make it 6-1.  Who would have thought that Dolph Ziggler (Nicky!) would be a world champion before Shawn?

They hit their finisher which is where they all grab the other guy and throw him into the air as high as they can.  Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop and Mikey grabs the bullhorn which is applied to the sides of their heads.  Vince is able to recuperate during that time and hammers away a bit.  Off comes the belt and the whipping begins.

Vince sets for Sweet Chin Music which is caught.  Maybe he should have tuned up with a little Stand Back before he did that.  Shawn fires away with the forearm and nip up so he can whip Vince a bit.  Top rope elbow hits and it’s time to Tune Up the Band.  Cue Shane with a kendo stick to crack Shawn in the head.

With Shane standing guard, Vince takes down his own pants.  Yep it’s time for the kissing spot but Shawn gets his momentum back and sends Shane’s face into his dad’s back.  Shawn pulls handcuffs out of somewhere (Vince maybe?) and ties Shane to the rope.  After doing Shane’s dance, Shawn beats the tar out of him with the stick.

Chair time and a HUGE shot puts Vince down.  Shawn sets for chin music but stops as Vince collapses.  Instead he hits the floor and pulls out a ladder.  A shot to the head puts down Vince as I think you know what’s coming here.  Vince is dripping blood here.  Chin Music is stopped again as Vince is almost lifeless.

Shawn pulls out some garbage cans and a table.  Shane is still cuffed mind you.  The table is set up after a can shot.  Shawn goes up the ladder with Vince on the table and then climbs down.  He had a scary look on his face before he came down.  Out to the floor again and it’s the BIG ladder.  Lawler says it’s 30ft high, meaning Shawn is about 15 feet tall.  Shawn fires a crotch chop from the ladder and drops the biggest elbow ever to kill Vince.  Sweet Chin Music finally ends this with Vince just collapsing from it.  The pin is academic of course.

Rating: C+. Well this was supposed to be a beating and that’s exactly what it was.  Vince can take one heck of a beating when he has to and this was no exception.  Shawn looked great here with the whole letting the old Shawn sneak in as his mind was being affected by Vince.  Good beating but Vince had literally nothing for about 8 minutes at the end.  Granted he wasn’t supposed to so that’s easily forgivable.  Fun stuff but not great.

Vince flips off Shawn from the stretcher which is just classic.

WM 23 is coming to Detroit.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match.  Angle is the champion.  Rey won the Rumble in honor of Eddie Guerrero and last eliminated Randy Orton to win.  Orton went insane heel by saying Eddie was burning and managed to get Rey vs. Orton at No Way Out for the Mania title shot.  Orton won and Teddy just made it a triple threat because he could.  You knew there would be a triple threat in there somehow.  This gets the music video treatment tonight, set to I Dare You by Shinedown.  Love that song.

Smackdown Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

POD plays Rey to the ring which is always awesome to see.  This would be cool but Rey has a massive headdress on which I think is taller than he is.  Dang it Rey does no one look at you before you go out there?  Orton is very cocky here and therefore awesome.

Kurt got the title when Batista was injured and Kurt won a battle royal.  See, that’s the perk of having guys like him or Shawn.  Got an injury?  Need a totally credible main eventer to throw in there?  How about Kurt Angle or Shawn Michaels as world champion?  I think most people would be cool with that.  I would be.

Orton jumps Kurt and the fight is on.  Kurt is on the floor and Orton gets a dropkick on Rey for two.  Angle gets back in and grabs a German on Orton.  Then he suplexes both at once and Rey goes FLYING.  That was awesome looking.  Angle is all fired up here.  Belly to belly to Orton as Kurt is killing it.  Rey hammers away at baldie and the fans audibly boo.  But it’s about EDDIE!!!

In a great spot, Orton is sitting on the ropes and Rey charges at Angle.  Angle grabs him and launches him over Kurt’s head and Rey lands in a perfect rana on Orton for two.  Angle suplexes Orton back into the ring and the fans are behind him.  Rey gets a kick to Kurt’s head to take him down for two.  The fans chant 619 and Rey gets a headscissors to Kurt who crawls into the 619 position like an idiot.

Ok maybe not so much of an idiot as Kurt grabs the ankle lock out of nowhere.  Orton distracts the referee so the tapping by Rey isn’t seen.  Kurt and Orton slug it out but I guess Kurt gets bored so he suplexes everyone in sight and hits the Angle Slam to Rey to the floor.  Ankle lock to Orton and Kurt gets the grapevine.  Rey pulls the referee out as Orton taps so Kurt has won twice in theory.

Kurt throws it on again but this time Rey drops the dime to break it up for two.  Fans aren’t thrilled by that at all.  Rey is sent into the post but Orton counters the Angle Slam and hits the RKO for two.  Randy goes up so Kurt pops up the corner and gets the belly to belly.  Rey botches the 619 then does it right.

Seated Senton gets two on Kurt.  Orton kicks Kurt to the floor and gets a slick backbreaker into a neckbreaker for two on Rey.  He sets for the RKO but Angle hits the Slam on him for two.  Rey avoids the Slam and sends Kurt to the floor via an armdrag.  619 sets up the West Coast Pop to Orton to give Rey his first world title in less than ten minutes.  Seriously, that’s it?

Rating: D+. Seriously, that’s it?  The match was ok but for a world title match at Wrestlemania, that’s it?  How many world title matches have you seen at Wrestlemania that don’t crack nine and a half minutes?  The title reign was awful, namely due to him being booked like a joke but that’s another story.  The match was ok but I thought it was clipped as it was so ridiculously short.

HHH and Cena are getting ready.  The fans are clearly behind HHH here, openly booing Cena.  Ross says most of the fans are traditional as he’s clearly out of stuff to talk about.  Maybe a match ran short?  LOUD Cena Sucks chant.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

This is a Playboy Pillow Fight and the reason they were stalling I guess.  Candice is introduced from the wrong city.  JR says the gate tonight is over $2 million dollars.  That’s insane to say the least, especially considering this isn’t a stadium and has less than 20,000 people.  Torrie’s music was recycled and is now used by Laycool.  She has a freaking dog with her.  Ross makes my head feel better by saying the next show is in Lexington.  That made me smile.

These two had both been in Playboy.  There’s a bed in the ring and pillows and all that jazz.  You win by pin or submission.  Do I need to explain what’s going on here?  They’ve in evening gowns, they don’t stay on long, Torrie wins and they’re in very little clothing.  We’re done.  This got nearly 4 minutes.  Yes, this got almost half as long as the world title match.  This couldn’t have been added to that match perhaps?  I guess not.

Rating: F. Long, dull, and a waste of my time.

We see some clips from the Wrestlemania press conference.  Cena and HHH cut basic promos about being champion post show.

No real backstory here.  Cena was champion and HHH won some worthless tournament.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

HHH comes out looking like Conan’s mostly metrosexual brother. He’s wearing a fur pelt and a crown and a breastplate. He rises from a throne to play up the King of Kings bit. He looks absurd but at least after a few seconds we switch over to All About The Game which is a better song I think.

We then see…a newsreel about the Great Depression? Yes indeed, as we hear about the rise of Capone and organized crime in Chicago. The stage rises again as a 1930s era car comes out and fake gangsters armed with Tommy guns ride out. As a geek note, the one on camera side is clearly none other than CM Punk! Total mark out moment for me there as the gangsters surround the ring.

Even the fans are confused here. Cena’s music finally hits and he is booed out of the freaking building. He comes out in a black suit and fedora which would have been awesome had it not been for him wearing shorts and making the trench coat look like a bathrobe. He fires some blanks (honey it happens to a lot of guys I swear) and throws off the coat to reveal his t-shirt and the main event black shorts. We get the big match introductions which will never get old.

HHH is introduced as the Cerebral Assassin, the King of Kings, the Game, the 10 Time Champion.  Cena is introduced as the Dr. of Thuganomics.  They even get checked for weapons.  That’s not something you see anymore.  After a long staredown process they lock up and HHH grabs a headlock into a hammerlock.  Technical stuff to start here.

Back to the arm stuff as we’re in a feeling out process here.  The fans are all over Cena with a huge F YOU CENA chant.  Cena tries an FU early but HHH reverses and DRILLS Cena with a right hand to take him down.  Cena has to reset a bit as a HHH chant starts.  The Game throws him to the floor as they definitely haven’t gotten going full speed yet.

HHH plays to the crowd but Cena sneaks up on him and hammers away.  Back drop gets two.  Fisherman’s Suplex with a floatover gets two also and we hit the chinlock.  YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant starts up which is just hilarious at this point.  Cena throws him into the corner and HHH goes over the top and out to the floor.  Out onto the aisle and HHH wants a Piledriver but is backdropped onto the steel instead.

Cena’s main offense has been the right hand and I can’t blame him at all for that.  HHH fights back and chokes away.  Out to the floor for a bit and Cena’s shoulder goes into the steps.  Now why would HHH let the referee count?  It’s giving Cena a chance to breathe and he won’t win the title that way.  I guess you could argue it lets HHH rest.

Back in and HHH hits a suplex and Flair knee drop.  Facebuster gets a big pop and a clothesline puts Cena down for two.  HHH is covering after almost every move or two that he does which is a very nice thing for him to do.  It makes him seem like he wants to win every time which is the idea.  They slug it out but another neckbreaker takes Cena down for two.

Modified chinlock/neck vice goes on and Cena is in trouble.  Cena fights up but walks into a sleeper.  He hasn’t had a steady string of offense all match other than a brief one about 8 minutes ago.  John fights out and takes HHH’s head off with a clothesline and both guys are down for a bit.  Powerslam puts HHH down and Cena is in control.

Protoplex sets up the 5 Knuckle Shuffle.  The shot of Cena looking at the crowd before he goes for it is great.  HHH gets up and catches him in a spinebuster for a long two.  Nice move there.  Right back to the sleeper but Cena reverses quickly into the Shuffle which hits this time.  He pumps the shoes and grabs the STFU out of nowhere.

In a nice show of strength though HHH crawls to the ropes and we’re not done yet.  FU is reversed and the referee is crushed in the corner.  HHH throws a low blow and hits both guys.  Crotch chop to Cena as we have more DX foreshadowing.  There’s the sledgehammer but Cena blocks it and hammers away (no pun intended) until a shot to the head takes him down.  THAT somehow gets two.

Pedigree is reversed and here comes Cena.  FU hits and gets two which results in an eruption from the crowd.  Dang good match here so far.  Cena has no idea what else to do as both of his finishers have more or less failed.  A splash of all things misses but the Pedigree is countered into another STFU and the referee checks the arm.  HHH keeps it up (Stephanie says yay!) but then after almost a minute in the hold HHH taps and Cena keeps the title.

Rating: A-. Great match here and definitely Mania main event worthy, but the problem comes down to this doesn’t feel epic.  It’s a great match but at the same time it looks like just another title defense for Cena.  This would have been a lot better if HHH had come in with the title and Cena had taken it here, but at the same time this worked fine.

Overall Rating: B. If there was a rating between B- and B this would get it.  The whole thing is good overall but there are some spots that make you shake your head.  For instance the Booker match, the pillow fight thing, the World Heavyweight Championship match, the MITB being so short etc.  It’s a good shot, but it’s nothing I’d want to see over and over.  It’s good for a rainy day but that’s about it.  Recommended but not incredibly highly.

 

Wrestlemania 21
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Lillian Garcia

This show is probably considered to be the birth of the modern era of Wrestlemanias. We have Cena and Batista going after their first world titles, the debut of MITB and Randy Orton in a big match. There are some solid matches in here including some that boarder on classics, such as Shawn vs. Angle and Rey vs. Eddie.

This was the first show in a long time without Austin or Rock wrestling and it was up to the new guys to carry the company with the help of the veterans. You don’t hear much at all about this Mania, but that’s not what’s important. All that matters is how good the show is. How good is it? Let’s get to it.

Lillian is her usual stunning self singing America the Beautiful.

Before the first match there’s a montage of the Mania trailers.  Since the show is in Hollywood this year that was the obvious theme: Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood.  This resulted in an awesome set of fake trailers/movie scenes recreated by WWE guys.  For instance there was Eugene as Forrest Gump, Undertaker as Dirty Harry, Cena and JBL as Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson from A Few God Men and a montage of people trying to do “You Talking to Me?” from Taxi Driver.  This is set to Behind Those Eyes by 3 Doors Down, my favorite band, so this is great.

This leads to the debut of the final trailer which is debuting tonight: Steve Austin as Gladiator.  These are really well done and definitely worth checking out.  They’re like a minute or two long so they’re not too long to sit through or anything.  Check them out.

The announcers welcome us to the show complete with Lawler in a tuxedo.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

They’re the reigning Smackdown tag champions at this point, but they’ve been having some issues.  This would be before the split and the ladder match for the custody of Rey’s son Dominic.  Yeah it was stupid back then too.  The idea here is that Eddie is doubting his skill and Rey keeps beating him in friendly matches.  Eddie’s pop absolutely dwarfs Rey’s.

The set looks great here as it looks like they’re coming out from behind a curtain like an old TV show.  They also cost each other victories on Smackdown so there are some recent issues also.  Crowd is VERY hot.  Eddie grabs an armbar and takes over early on.  They hit the precision stuff until Eddie launches Rey over the top and out to the floor.  Rey slides in and misses a 619 and we’re at a standoff.

Back in and they try a test of strength but Rey monkey flips Eddie over while holding the grip still.  Both bridge out at the same time in a cool visual.  Rey lands on his feet of something like a backdrop and another monkey flip lands Eddie in the ropes.  Rey gets sent to the floor and Eddie adds a plancha to take over.  Big Eddie chant starts up.

Suplex gets two for Eddie.  Surfboard goes on and I still wonder how they do that.  In something I’ve never seen other than in this match, Eddie almost gets pinned as his shoulders are on the mat while using the hold.  STF by Eddie and Rey slaps the mat once.  Shouldn’t that be a tap out?  They get up and Rey gets an armdrag to counter what might have been a powerbomb.

Eddie hits the floor so Rey busts out a tope con giro to half kill both guys.  Seated senton gets no cover but Rey runs into an elbow and it’s right back to Eddie’s control.  One Amigo hits but the second is countered into a rollup for two.  Another powerbomb attempt is countered into a headscissors but Rey can’t hit 619.  Backbreaker by Eddie gets two.

There are the Three Amigos as Rey’s back is being destroyed.  Frog Splash misses though and we’re back to even.  Rey keeps adjusting his mask.  Magistrol (and yes I know that’s likely the wrong spelling) gets two for Mysterio.  They speed things up for a bit and there’s the 619.  Rey tries West Coast Pop but Eddie FINALLY gets that powerbomb for two.  And then Rey gets a rana and grabs the leg for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. Fine opener here but they never hit that gear that I think they were shooting for.  Good match but out of these two you would expect more.  Rey and the mask adjustments took a bit of steam out of this as he was doing it every 8 seconds.  Eddie’s pops were very impressive so of course they turned him heel soon after this.

JBL and his Cabinet runs into HHH and Flair.  Good thing that never went anywhere.  Both say how great they are and HHH burns JBL by saying eventually someone will believe JBL if he keeps saying how great he is.  Orlando Jordan gets a WOO for his troubles.

Adam Sandler and that waste of skin known as Rob Schnider are in the front row.

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Christian vs. Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane

 

This is the debut of Money in the Bank, meaning this is the one that sets the standard.  Jericho looks like a lumberjack with that beard.  Benoit is Benoit.  Christian is Pre-TNA so he has no chance here.  Shelton is more or less at the peak of his awesomeness here and IC Champion.  Edge is on the brink of greatness and Kane is Kane.  If nothing else now I have the Waterproof Blonde version of Just Close Your Eyes in my head now.  Oh and Christian has Tomko with him.
Edge is more or less freshly heel here but hasn’t established himself as a main event guy.  He’s kind of going back and forth.  In Kane’s entrance the ladders on the stage are lit on fire in a sweet visual.  Everyone goes after Kane in the aisle which completely fails.  Jericho blasts Christian with a ladder and it’s Shelton vs. Jericho in the ring at the moment.

The other two Canadians not named Christian get dropkicked off the apron by Jericho who adds a plancha to Edge.  Christian dives onto all three of them and then Shelton dives on all five of them.  Kane is like boy please and takes out everyone including Tomko with a big dive.  Kane, the only one alive, goes for a ladder.  Edge is in the ring and goes down as does Christian.

Jericho is able to dropkick the ladder into Kane and everyone is down for the most part.  He destroys various people with said ladder and stands tall at least for a few seconds.  Benoit grabs him while Jericho has the ladder and fires him with a German, sending the ladder flying through the air.  He goes up but Kane tries a chokeslam.  He gets caught in a Crossface for his troubles as does Edge.  Kane breaks that one up with a ladder shot for no apparent reason.

Using the ladder, Kane kind of Pillmanizes Benoit’s arm.  Edge takes Kane down as this is far too much at once to keep track of.  Edge and Christian work together to take Kane down as Shelton is back in.  Ladder in the corner with Edge slamming into it as he misses a spear.  Stinger Splash onto it and him in a rare Sting reference.

Everyone goes up onto three different ladders and everyone comes crashing down.  The T-Bone Exploder from Shelton to Edge was AWESOME looking.  Jericho somehow gets up and turns some ladders over.  He has to fight off Christian though and another ladder is set up as a ramp to the main one in the ring.  Shelton debuts his signature spot to run up the ladder and take Jericho down with a clothesline.

Christian stops Shelton and then Kane starts going on.  They botch a chokeslam over the top as Shelton gets his foot caught in the ropes.  Tomko comes in to try and help Christian, even getting him all the way to the top.  Kane is like screw that and shoves him off onto Tomko on the floor.  Jericho slips trying to stop Kane and they both fall onto the top rope to put everyone down again.

Benoit sets a ladder up in a corner to launch himself off in a swan dive to half kill Kane.  Ok poor choice of words there.  Great visual on the wide shot though.  He might have hurt his arm on that.  Kane gets back up and they fight on the top of the ladder with Kane going flying off again.  He’s taken a ton of bumps in this.  Edge pops up out of nowhere with a chair to drill Benoit in the bad arm and pulls down the briefcase to win it.

Rating: A. Some of the spots in this are just insane, such as Shelton running the ladder. A BIG plus of this match having 6 people is we don’t have to have a bunch of bad injury selling on the ladder while waiting on people to be stopped. That’s the flaw with most ladder matches: you see people climbing a ladder at the rate of a snail.

In this case, that’s not a threat as there’s a total of 7 people counting Tomko. This is a huge mess, but a fun one. It launched Edge into the main event as he cashed in the contact for the title in January in a stunning event. Great showing, not a great wrestling match, but still fun.

Eugene is in the ring and saying how excited he is to be here.  He talks about his favorite Mania moment, which is the midget army fighting Bundy at Mania 3.  Muhammad Hassan, the best heel in forever in the company’s music hits. He’s mad about being left off the card and he beats up Eugene.  That’s Sheik Abdul Bashir if you’re a TNA fan.

And then, in one of the biggest MARK OUT moments I’ve ever had, Real American hits.  The place, in a word, explodes.  Hogan slides in and the fans beat him down but Hogan is like people please and it’s a very old school double noggin knocker.  He beats the tar out of Hassan and tosses him out.  Daivari the manager tries a chair shot and gets a finger in his face.  There goes Daivari and the fans couldn’t eat this up any more if their lives depended on it.  Let the posing begin!  Hogan simply belongs at Wrestlemania.  This led to Hogan/Shawn vs. those two.

We recap Taker vs. Orton.  Not much to say here.  Orton got thrown out of Evolution and HHH cut his legs out from under him so they threw him against Taker to give him something to do and play into the Legend Killer thing.  Oh and Orton’s dad is in there somewhere too.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

This marks the modern incarnation of the Streak beginning as Orton challenges Taker for no reason other than to break the Streak. To me, that’s not good. It takes away some of the story as there’s nothing personal going on at first other than honor.

To some people it’s great and it leads to solid matches most of the time, but I just can’t get into them.  Orton was a face but challenged Taker so he RKOed Stacy, who was I guess his girlfriend at the time to show how evil he was. His Dad showed up and started helping him and no one cared. As the Legend Killer, this fit Orton like a glove.

Taker gets his usual sweet entrance with druids and torches.  Do you think they chant like that in the back at catering?  HUGE pop for Taker.  Taker floats to the ring with a ton of smoke in the aisle.  I mean he’s coming down the aisle and his feet aren’t moving.  Is there any reason he came out before Orton though?  This is the pre-orange Orton that still had hair and not a ton of tattoos.  Always liked this version a lot better.  No papa with him for the entrance.

Orton tries to use speed to start and then slaps Taker.  That seems like a bad idea to me.  We hit a headlock by Taker but a dropkick takes him down for one.  Feeling out period to start here.  Taker drills him with a right hand and Orton’s nose might be messed up.  Orton rolls him up out of the corner for two.  RKO is blocked and Orton is shoved to the floor.

Apron legdrop to Orton has him in big trouble.  Old School keeps him in said trouble.  The running boot in the corner misses and Taker is sent to the floor.  They slug it out and Orton takes him down with a clothesline for two.  DDT by Taker gets two as we haven’t really had one guy dominating for a long time yet.  Side slam for two.  Taker hits the Snake Eyes but the running boot is blocked by a back elbow for two as well.

They slug it out again as the fans are all over Randy.  Randy tries a clothesline but Taker rams into him so hard that Randy goes down for two.  Dragon suplex goes on and Orton taps but since that’s not the finish so we keep going.  Somehow he manages to roll through into a DDT for two.  And we hit the chinlock which is called a rear naked choke by Cole in an attempt to try to sound smart.

Sleeper by Orton lasts about two seconds as Taker gets a suplex.  Powerslam out of nowhere gets two for Randy.  Then like A REALLY STUPID PERSON he goes to the corner for punches and stops for posing.  The Last Ride doesn’t work but neither does the RKO.  Taker tries another Last Ride but Taker drops him or something.

Bob Orton runs in with the cast and drills Taker but the referee is down due to the RKO counter.  The very slow count gets two and a big reaction from the crowd.  Taker sits up and isn’t happy.  Big boots takes down Bob and here’s a chokeslam.  In one of my favorite counters ever, Orton shifts in mid air and grabs a good looking RKO for two.  Orton wants a tombstone and if you don’t know what’s coming at this point you just fail.  The pin is academic.

Rating: B-. Good match for the most part but there were times where they looked a bit confused.  Orton had that one great counter and other than that he didn’t get much out there.  This is a match that needed about two minutes cut out of it to really make it a lot better.  Still not that bad at all though.

We recap Trish vs. Christy Hemme.  In short, Trish is champion and Christy is this year’s Playboy chick.  She can’t wrestle to save her life but she has Lita training her.  There’s nothing else to it beyond that.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme

Well they’re all hot if nothing else.  Lita is with Christy here as mentioned.  Trish’s music sounds sped up a bit.  The set is awesome here as it’s set up like an old school movie theater marquee with the name of the current match on the sign.  Trish of course doesn’t take this seriously and it’s sloppy from the bell.  The Playboy thing was really annoying as you had girls that couldn’t do a thing challenging for the title.  Mickie next year would prove how stupid this was.

The fans chant for Matt who was out of the company at this point.  Trish misses a kick and Christy gets one of her own for two in a sexy cover.  Christy does the splits out of the corner and gets two on a sunset flip.  To the floor and Trish is barely breaking a sweat.  She shoves Lita who has a bad knee and Christy gets a rollup for two.

Christy kicks away badly and adds in a reverse Twist of Fate which is the whole selling point of the match.  Naturally it only gets two.  Christy rolls her up and we botch that too as Trish doesn’t kick out in time so the referee stops counting despite Trish’s shoulders being down.  Chick Kick ends this like a second later.  Trish would hold the title until the next Mania.

Rating: F+. They looked good and that’s all this had going for it.  This is one of those matches that doesn’t need much more of an explanation at all.

We recap Shawn vs. Angle.  Angle was obsessed with winning the Rumble but Shawn eliminated him.  This led to Angle talking about winning the medal in 96 but people talking about Shawn coming down from the rafters at Mania and being the best wrestler in the world.  Basically it turned into a game of I’m better than you and they had the match at Mania.  That’s about it.

Some celebrities are here.

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

 

Something tells me this will be a big better than the previous match.  They have about 28 minutes to work with here, so do you really think it’s not going to be great?  They stare each other down before the match starts and here we go.  This in interpromotional and the referee is from Smackdown for no apparent reason.  Shawn slaps him in the face and here we go.

Angle takes him to the mat and rides him with ease.  The fans apparently think Shawn violated Bret.  Odd choice of words indeed.  I say odd a lot in these reviews.  Shawn takes Kurt to the mat with a headlock and the fans chant for Angle.  Angle suplexes out of it but Shawn holds on somehow.  Dueling chants start up as that headlock has been on for awhile now.  They have the time though so it’s perfectly fine.

The hold is broken for a bit and we go right back to it again.  Angle gets a back elbow to escape but Shawn locks on a short arm scissors.  Angle rolls backwards a few times to get two.  See how important that is?  He keeps working the whole time and it keeps the fans into things rather than just sitting around.  We get the Davey Boy Smith counter to it but Shawn rolls through for two.  Backslide for two and it’s back to the headlock by Shawn.

They slug it out in the corner with neither guy being able to get the advantage.  Angle pulls the hair and grabs an ankle lock out of nowhere.  It doesn’t last long as Shawn rolls through and a clothesline puts us both on the floor.  They set up the announce table and fight for the move into it.  Angle gets the Slam but instead of the table he rams Shawn’s back into the post out of the Slam position.  That looked good.

Angle hammers away on the floor for a bit and we’re back into the ring.  Suplex gets two and Angle locks on a body scissors.  Shawn flips upside down in the corner and a sweet pair of belly to bellies gets two.  Kurt locks on a modified camel clutch with a knee in the back to work it over even more.  Shawn fights back and they slug it out until Shawn slaps Kurt.  A big clothesline takes Shawn down for two.  That looked great.

Angle can’t get a belly to belly off the top but the elbow misses too and Kurt never really loses control.  There go the straps but the Angle Slam is reversed.  Kurt is sent to the floor as Shawn takes over for a bit.  Big crossbody to the floor and both guys are down.  Shawn wants an Asai Moonsault but Angle jumps up for the attempted German off the apron which never hits.  A low blow gets Shawn out of it and he gets his Asai crossbody which winds up being a splash onto the table which doesn’t break.  Cool looking move and apparently the tables are reinforced.

They slug it out a bit more and Shawn gets the forearm.  I think you know what follows that.  Angle is bleeding from the mouth.  Slam sets up the elbow and it’s time to tune up the band.  What band is it anyway?  The Electric Light Orchestra?  Shawn finds out why it’s stupid to throw a kick at a guy whose finisher is the ankle lock and can’t roll through it.  The rope is finally grabbed and Shawn is in big trouble.

Angle is all ticked off now but the Slam is reversed into a sunset flip which is reversed into another ankle lock which is reversed into a victory roll for two.  Another attempt at Chin Music is reversed into the Slam for two.  Angle puts the straps back on only to take them right back down.  Ok then.  Moonsault misses but it looked like Angle’s head slammed into Shawn’s back.  Angle is clutching his wrist after the move and it might be hurt.

Shawn pulls himself to the top but can barely move so Angle runs up the corner and hits an Angle Slam from the top rope.  Angle immediately covers and somehow only gets two!  I’d have bet on that being the ending when I was watching this live.  Angle grabs Shawn by the head and screams at him to tap out.  Shawn uses all he’s got left for a huge Sweet Chin Music and down goes Angle again.  THAT gets two and the fans are way into this.

With Shawn trying to get up as slowly as he’s moving, Angle grabs the ankle again and holds on throughout every roll Shawn tries.  He almost gets the rope but Angle pulls him back to the middle again.  There’s the grapevine and after Shawn probably setting the record for the longest time ever in the move, Shawn taps to add another classic to his Mania record.

Rating: A+. Oh come on were you expecting anything else?  It’s Angle vs. Michaels at Wrestlemania with half an hour to work with.  Total show stealing match with two of the best ever out there working very hard out there to have the best match they could.  There would be a pair of rematches with Shawn winning at Vengeance and them tying in an iron man match on Raw.  Great match and absolutely worth seeing.

We see another of the movie trailers, this one with Benoit, Jericho and Christian interrogating Stacy Keibler ala Basic Instinct.  There’s implied HLA with Trish and lingerie pillow fights are mentioned.  Way funnier than it sounds.  Oh and Mae Young flashes her vagina to end it.

It’s RODDY PIPER!  We have a Piper’s Pit here at Mania with special guest Stone Cold Steve Austin.  Well this works….kind of.  It sounds like it’s great on paper but at the same time, what in the world would they talk about?  Piper thanks the fans for the Hall of Fame and talks about Mania a bit.  Here’s Austin and the problem is obvious: there’s no reason Austin is here other than he’s Austin and it’s Wrestlemania.  Therefore, they have nothing to talk about.

Austin is a rebel apparently.  Yeah not for about 5 years Roddy.  Piper slaps him and the fans aren’t sure what to do here.  Austin of course slaps him right back and Piper likes him.  The WHAT chants start up and Piper isn’t sure how to take them.  I hate those things anyway.  Piper was here when Mania didn’t have a number apparently and that’s still the same argument he’s been using for years.  Austin has nothing on Piper as far as being a rebel.

Steve replies and this is just dragging.  Piper stopped meaning anything about 12 years before this and only Piper seemed to not get that through his head.  Of all people, Carlito comes out and both guys say it wasn’t their idea.  This was supposed to be the way to put Carlito over and give him a huge push but it completely failed due to Carlito absolutely sucking.  Piper isn’t cool with this and spits the apple at Carlito.  Naturally there are Stunners all around and Austin stands tall.  This was awful to say the least.  Total and complete waste of 15 minutes.

We see the Taxi Driver trailer which was voted the best overall.  Basically it’s the majority of the roster trying to do the “Are you talking to me” line which is rather funny indeed.  Batista doesn’t get what he’s supposed to say and Big Show keeps ripping his jacket.  Michael Cole as Travis Bickle has completely scarred me for life but overall it’s funny.
Ready for the biggest waste of time in company history? Here is it right here.

Big Show vs. Akebono

Who in the world is Akebono? No one knew and no one cared. Show at the time was doing a weird thing where he was looking for a challenger so they found someone even bigger than Show to face him in a sumo match. They’re wearing the full sumo uniforms here and it’s really bad. No one could care less for this.

They stall forever as Cole and Tazz try desperately to make this work but it’s dead on arrival. The fans boo them crazily as they set to start and then pull up at least 3 times. It’s the two of them slapping each other’s chests. Show loses but of course his music plays as they leave.  This lasted a minute or so bell to bell and almost ten minutes overall.

Rating: F. This was a total waste of time.

We recap the Smackdown World Title feud between Cena vs. JBL.  JBL has held the title since the previous summer and people are sick of him.  The idea of this is old school vs. new and the respect for tradition vs. change.  Cena had made a spinner belt for the US Title which JBL wasn’t happy with.  Cena is the rapper here still and here’s all street tough etc.  He got the match by beating Angle at No Way Out.  Cena couldn’t touch JBL but JBL managed to get some shots in to Cena on the last Smackdown.
Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

 

JBL gets a police escort here to give him his big Mania entrance.  JBL dollars rain from the ceiling in a cool bit.  The Cabinet, JBL’s team, isn’t here. No special entrance for Cena here.  A couple of guys with brooms have to clean the dollars out of the ring.  Feeling out process to start with Cena taking JBL down with a shoulder.  JBL does the same and takes over with power.

After more strikes from JBL a bad neckbreaker takes Cena down for no cover.  The second one gets two as I don’t think they’ll end a match in two minutes.  Well at least in theory they won’t.  JBL hits a slingshot to put Cena’s throat in the bottom rope.  They slug it out a bit with Cena getting some momentum together.  Spinebuster takes care of that though and it’s back to JBL in control.

A third neckbeaker gets two.  Short arm clothesline gets two.  This is kind of dragging here.  JBL hits a forearm to the back of Cena as it’s total dominance and has been the whole time.  We got a moderate boring chant as we hit a sleeper.  Cena gets a suplex to escape and it’s a double clothesline.  Never mind though as JBL sends him to the floor and adds neckbreaker #4 to take Cena down again.  This is on the verge of a squash.

Superplex back in the ring puts Cena down again and of course it’s for two.  Cena gets a powerslam to fight back for the first time.  Some clotheslines buy Cena time as does a shoulder block.  Crowd is DEAD.  Protoplex sets up the Five Knuckle Shuffle and the FU just like that gives Cena the title.  In an approximately eleven and a half minute match, Cena was on offense for maybe 90 seconds.

Rating: D. Really?  This was like a TV match that would main event Smackdown and it’s good for Cena’s first world title here?  This needed to be rebooked and given about five more minutes plus about 8 more two counts.  I have no idea what they were going for here but this was a major failure on almost all levels.  No wonder Cena was panned for his first title reign.

 

We recap the Hall of Fame induction ceremony from last night which definitely centered around Hulk Hogan.  Oh and Piper and some other people went in too.  And then that ring would go to Abyss.  I give up.  Gene brings out the class to be presented to the crowd, eating up some more time that could have gone to Cena and JBL.  If nothing else it’s fun to see the Divas all dressed up.

Michelle with her hair back and in a long black dress is something I could get used to.  Taz calls Sheik the original Human Suplex Machine.  Miss Jackie (Gayda that is) was so hot it’s scary.  Maria as a blonde looked great.  She’s more interesting than Bob Orton for sure.  Jimmy Hart is still awesome.  Stacy dancing to Hulk’s music and being on his arm is weird to see.  That being said her trying to look beautiful in another long black dress works very well indeed.  That’s about it.  Most international class ever?

 

Mania 22 is going to be in Chicago.

We recap Batista vs. HHH.  The idea here is a simple one.  They were both in Evolution and then Batista got very hot and won the Rumble.  This led to HHH saying he would get Batista to fight JBL to avoid having to face Big Dave because he had Batista around his finger.  Batista heard this and turned face (which he more or less already was) leading to this.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. HHH

Ross and Lawler talk forever to let Motorhead get ready to play HHH to the ring.  The singer more or less has no idea what the words are.  HHH rises out of the floor like Angle does now.  This is all happening before Batista’s entrance, making his look totally weak in comparison.  Nice job Game.  Batista still has his old school Evolution knockoff music here and no pyro so his machinegun thing looks idiotic.

Flair is with HHH here.  We get the weapons check and the title being held up which is always cool.  They fight over a tie up to start with neither guy being able to get much of an advantage.  Almost two minutes in HHH grabs a headlock for the first offense of the match.  He runs into a shoulder though and we chill for a bit.  HHH runs him over but can’t get the Pedigree.  Gorilla Press puts HHH down and Batista poses a bit.

Batista looks nervous here which makes sense.  They’re going very slowly here but I guess they have the time.  Backdrop to HHH but the Game gets a running knee to put him on the floor.  Flair distracts Big Dave long enough to send Batista into the steps to take over again.  HHH and Flair both choke away as we’re bordering on going through the motions here.

HHH works on the back and adds a suplex for two.  More choking by Flair as this has been total dominance ala Cena vs. JBL.  HHH hammers him down in the corner but Batista gets some punches to take back over a bit.  And never mind as HHH uses a spinebuster.  You know, that move that NO ONE ELSE IN THIS MATCH USES RIGHT???  Why in the world would HHH, the guy with like 9000 moves in his arsenal, use a freaking spinebuster that is going to make Batista’s look stupid by comparison?  Freaking moron.

Pedigree is blocked and the facebuster gets two.  For no apparent reason HHH goes up top and tries a punch from up there but gets caught by a clothesline.  Who is his mentor again?  Did he sleep through that day in heel school?  Batista gets a spinebuster for two but HHH gets a boot up in the corner to take him right back down.

Batista fires him over the top rope with pure power and we might finally have a shift in momentum.  He follows the Game to the floor and is sent into the steps to once again give HHH momentum.  Pedigree onto the steps is blocked into a slingshot into the post.  Maybe NOW Batista can get some serious offense in.  HHH is busted now.  Batista hammers at the cut and momentum has completely shifted here.

All Animal here with Batista managing to hit a clothesline in the corner that puts HHH on his back which isn’t something you often see.  Powerslam gets two.  Out to the floor again as HHH is just trying to cover up.  Down goes Flair but HHH grabs a chair due to the distraction.  Since it’s a main event though, down goes the referee as he tries to steal it from the Game.

Back in the ring it’s a spinebuster for Flair who brings the belt in.  Title to the face which draws huge heat.  If that had gotten the pin they may have needed police to get him out of there.  Naturally it only gets two and more or less that’s it.  Spinebuster doesn’t hit as HHH gets a low blow.  Pedigree can’t hit and Batista gets something resembling an Emerald Flosion to set up the Thumbs Down and the Batista Bomb ends this finally.

Rating: C-. HHH ruined this for me. Number one, Batista should come out first, get his massive pop, and THEN you have the big entrance for HHH as something like that is going to get a big pop no matter what. Next, Batista was built up as a monster coming into this match for nearly 5 months, and HHH beats the tar out of him for over half the match.

That makes me think that Batista hasn’t beaten anyone at all and once he faces someone solid he can’t do anything against them. Let Batista come in and beat up HHH, have HHH, the smarter wrestler, learn from what happened the first time around and counter Batista and THEN he beats him up and leads to the finish.

By doing this, it shows two things: it makes Batista seem legit as even HHH can’t stop his offense and then it makes HHH look smart as he was able to adapt his style to stop Batista, and everyone wins. Third, WHY WOULD HHH USE A SPINEBUSTER HERE???

He has like 40 moves in his arsenal and he uses the one that Batista is most known for. The ending was solid but that’s about it. Not the way to start a title reign for a guy that wrestles as a power guy at all. If this were Benoit or someone of that size and style, this would have been perfect.

Overall Rating: C+. This Mania suffers from the same symptom that every show since the brand split has suffered from: WAY too much filler that should have been on Raw or Smackdown.  It’s a good show but at the same time the main events were just weak overall with neither new champion looking great at all.  The right guys went over which helps a lot, but getting there didn’t work that well.  Still a good show though.

Oh and see those trailers as they’re totally awesome.

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 28, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

This is the final show before Wrestlemania.  That being said there probably won’t be a lot of in ring action tonight as WWE is afraid of having any injuries before the biggest night of the year. The main story tonight though is that the Rock will be live in the arena tonight for the first time in almost a month.  The staredown with Rock and Cena should be awesome.  Let’s get to it.

We open with Punk sitting in the ring and being cheered loudly.  He says he’s going to miss the Mania sign when he gets to Atlanta.  Punk lives in reality while Orton lives in a fantasy world.  He doesn’t care what happens to the people or to New Nexus.  This causes a Randy chant as Punk gets the smark crowd against him with one sentence.  Not bad.  It’s not his fault that they got punted in the head.  Punk talks about how Orton built up a psychological advantage which meant nothing.

We get a clip of the bus attack last week which is still rather weak.  Punk claims that Orton cost him a title and now Punk has cost Orton his respect.  This chapter closes at Wrestlemania.  Cue Orton with a big bandage on his knee.  After a very slow walk he gets into the ring but gets beaten down by Punk.

And never mind as a single uppercut turns the tide and Orton gets the elevated DDT.  Orton sets for the Punt but the knee gives out.  There are dueling chants here as Punk gets back in the ring.  He gets a shot to the knee and Orton is in trouble.  GTS leaves Orton laying.

Christian stops to get Edge as apparently they’re up next.  Apparently the Raw GM has allowed Edge to fight Alberto tonight.

Edge/Christian vs. Brodus Clay/Alberto Del Rio

 

Edge vs. Brodus to start us off here and it’s off to Christian quickly.  Christian knocks Clay to the floor and dives on him, only to get caught.  Edge gets a baseball slide into the back of Christian to send Brodus down and we take a break.  Back with Del Rio working on the arm of Christian.  Off to Clay who gets two as Lawler and Cole argue about hair.  Del Rio gets a middle rope elbow for two.

Tornado DDT out of the corner puts Del Rio down and here comes both Edge and Clay.  Nice pop for the tag to Edge.  Cross body fails for Edge but he avoids a powerslam to get an Edge-O-Matic for two.  Del Rio breaks up the spear and Christian breaks up Del Rio.  Brodus misses a charge and the spear ends him at 5:42 shown of 8:12.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent tag match here with them having a nice way to get everyone in the ring at once.  Christian and Clay have been nice additions to this feud as we’ve been able to avoid the stupid staredowns and debates and various other things like that.  Not a bad match here and it keeps there from being any real contact between Edge and Del Rio before the PPV.

Both Edge and Christian get stuck in the cross armbreaker as Del Rip and Clay leave them laying.

Apparently Trish and Snooki are in a bar in Jersey.  This was taped last week and Snooki was three hours late based on various reports.  Not a good sign.

Sin Cara is coming.

Miz and Riley are setting up a WWE logo to be the M version from last week.  The title looks like that now as well.

There’s an E-Mail and Cole has a computer in his box.  He has an Ipad now.  The GM needs to know if Lawler is ready for Wrestlemania after what Cole did to him last week.  Swagger vs. Lawler tonight.

We get a video about HHH vs. Undertaker which is set to a song about outrunning the devil and numbers.  We also get highlight videos of both guys’ careers and their matches at Mania.  HHH says if he can’t end the Streak, he’ll die trying.

Back with the Corre in the ring.  Apparently Justin Gabriel is in action….so here are Show and Kane?  And Kozlov and Santino.  Santino is the opponent.  Ok then.

Santino Marella vs. Justin Gabriel

 

The long talked about 8 man tag of Santino/Kozlov/Big Show/Kane vs. Corre is announced.  Gabriel gets an incredibly fast kick for two and locks on a modified chicken wing.  Santino comes back and sets for the Cobra but Slater distracts him.  Kane takes him out and it’s a big brawl on the floor.  Here comes the Corba and we’re done at 1:49.  Just a quick match to set up the 8 man on Sunday.

Post match everyone does Santino’s trombone thing, even Kane.  There’s a meme waiting to happen.

Some R&B singer is singing America the Beautiful.  That means….no Justin Bieber?  This Mania just got AWESOME!

HHH and Taker have their showdown next.

Here comes the Deadman and that Johnny Cash theme is rapidly growing on me.  Here comes HHH and as he sets to do the water spit, the gong goes off and the lights go out.  They come back on…and everything is just as it was.  They stare each other down, and here’s Shawn Michaels!  He does belong in a WWE ring for Mania week.  Huge HBK chant starts up.

Shawn says there was no way he was going to miss this.  Taker and HHH have barely stopped staring each other down.  Taker is either looking at Shawn or his eyes are rolled back in his head.  It’s at Shawn.  You could only see the whites of his eyes and with him you never can tell.  Shawn talks about how great both of them are and how huge this is.

He keeps talking before turning to HHH and asking why in the world would you think you can do what I couldn’t.  HHH says Shawn got soft somewhere along the way and that Shawn realized he didn’t have to win to be Mr. Wrestlemania.  HHH says that he has to win and he will.  The Game turns to Taker and says that when he got here he saw one guy that held everything together.  He lists off a lot of injuries Taker has worked through and how HHH has looked up to Undertaker his entire career and molded himself after Undertaker.

The only person that HHH admires and respects in wrestling as much as the Undertaker is Shawn.  Years ago Shawn and HHH made a pact that if either of them could ever not do it anymore they would tell the other so.  If the other couldn’t accept it, they would force it on them.  HHH looks at Undertaker and says that it’s time for Undertaker to stop.  He’ll always respect Undertaker, but in six days the Streak is over.  HHH says he’s the one, as in 18-1.  Good line.  Taker hasn’t said a word yet.  The Streak rests in peace on Sunday.

Undertaker grabs the mic from HHH and says that if the time ever comes for someone to put him down, he wants it to be HHH.  But it’s not his time.  HHH is going to kill himself trying but the Streak will still be alive and so will Undertaker.  Wait, Undertaker is alive?  I thought he was a zombie.  Taker says that if HHH doesn’t want to take Taker’s word for it, ask Shawn.

Shawn walks around being the man that gave Undertaker the best Mania matches of his career and he came that close to beating it.  Shawn seems bothered by this.  Taker says he looks at Shawn and sees a man that he humbled.  Shawn is a man that is going into the Hall of Fame as a man full of regrets and as a man whose career Undertaker ended.

Shawn grabs the mic and tries a superkick but gets caught in an attempted chokeslam.  HHH breaks it up and they stare each other down again.  HHH tells Shawn to tell Taker why HHH will win at Mania.  Shawn doesn’t move and HHH turns to look at him.  Both guys look at Shawn as the people chant one more match.  Shawn leaves and HHH shouts at him but Shawn says something we can’t hear.  The camera shifts so we can see Shawn say I’m sorry and something that looked like “I can’t do it.”  Shawn leaves with that.

HHH and Undertaker look at each other, Taker laughs and tips his hat and Johnny Cash plays him out.  Long segment that I have a feeling is going to get a very mixed reception. Good stuff, but not good enough to make this match as epic as they were shooting for.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger

 

Lawler has different music here.  Cole pops up on the apron and gets down just before Lawler hits him.  Swagger takes over and a Vader Bomb crushes him.  Out to the floor and Jerry is thrown into the time keeper’s area.  Lawler gets a right hand in and pops Swagger with a chair for the DQ at 1:20.  That’s really the only ending they could go with here.  Lawler goes after Cole but the security holds him back as Jerry tries to get in through the top of the box.  Cole throws his drink at him and Jerry backs off.

We recap the mixed tag from last week and here’s Vickie with sunglasses ala Morrison.  She does his pose with his music and pyro behind her.  We even get slow motion.  She says that she has a message for Snooki.  After the match Sunday, Snooki will be passed out and unconscious as always.  Vickie’s evil laugh is pretty awesome.

Dolph Ziggler/Sheamsu vs. Daniel Bryan/John Morrison

 

Nice pop for Morrison.  Sheamus vs. Morrison to start Flash Kick doesn’t work as Morrison jumps into the Irish Curse for two as we take a break.  Back with the same pairing as before the break as Sheamus locks on a bow and arrow hold.  Morrison fights out of it with a dropkick and it’s a double tag.

Bryan comes in and cleans house as he locks in the LeBell Lock to Ziggler.  Sheamus makes the save as Morrison kicks Ziggler in the head.  Apparently Sheamus is legal now.  I don’t remember a tag but ok then.  Morrison and Ziggler hit the floor and the LeBell Lock doesn’t work.  Sheamus hits the High Cross which Cole calls Pale Justice.  It’s a Razor’s Edge either way and it ends it at 2:44 shown of 6:14.

Rating: C-. Not really enough to grade but this is a quick way to get some build in for both matches.  Always been a fan of that as it’s a very good way to kill two birds with one stone.  I’d love to see these four get more time in the ring as it could be something rather good.  This wasn’t much from a wrestling standpoint but it wasn’t terrible I guess.

Orton is having his knee iced down and says that he’ll make it to Mania.  He has anger management issues and has hurt people he didn’t know just because he could.  He’s never despised anyone until now so the question isn’t can he make it to Mania but rather can Punk make it out of Mania.

Time for the Hall of Fame inductee of the night.  It’s the LEGION OF DOOM!!!!! It’s about freaking time!  We get a nice video package on them and apparently Paul Ellering is going in with them.  That makes the class LOD, Ellering, Shawn Michaels, Sunny, Bullet Bob Armstrong, Abdullah the Butcher and Jim Duggan.  I leave out Drew Carey for reasons of idiocy.

Snooki and Trish are at a bar and oh my goodness Snooki is drunk.  Some Jersey guy is annoying them constantly.  Snooki slaps him and he gets taken out.  This was rather pointless and lasted maybe a minute.

We cut to Matthews and then back to the bar as Laycool is there.  Big brawl breaks out and they get pulled apart, making this whole thing maybe 80 seconds.

Back and it’s time.  The Rock is here on the big screen and there’s the music.  HUGE Rocky chant goes up and it takes awhile to get to the talking.  This is a special city to Rock as his first Wrestlemania was here.  On that night, he was nervous but he brought it.  That night he founded Team Bring It which everyone is a part of.  On Team Bring It you don’t worry about what’s coming and you go after your dreams.

Recently Rock has had a dream of his own.  In this dream he came to the ring and called out John Cena.  Mad heat for the mere mention of Cena’s name.  The fans chant Cena sucks.  He doesn’t have a chance tonight.  Rock says Cena looks like a homeless Power Ranger.  Rock talks about Cena and how tonight, Rock is here with the MILLIONS.

Cue Cena who is looking rather chipper.  Hokey smoke this is epic.  Not total booing for Cena when he first comes out but when he starts talking it changes a bit.  Cena says this is what he finally wanted: Rock back in a WWE ring.  This is where Rock belongs according to Cena.  The fans chant for Rocky.  When Cena started talking about him years ago he was one of the millions.  He didn’t understand why Rock left because Cena wanted Rock back for moments like these when Rock has the people in the palm of his hands.  If Rock doesn’t believe Cena, Rock should listen to them.

If Rock still doesn’t believe him, Rock should feel the electricity.  When Rock came back he was smoking and it was an honor to have Rock make fun of him.  Cena takes a jab at the via satellite moments and Cena wanted to know…..something we have to wait on as the fans chant Cena Sucks a bit more.  Cena wants to know what problem Rock had with him.  That’s a good question actually.  Cena says that he looked past all the jokes and catchphrases and found a lot of problems Rock had with him.

Who in the world is Rock to tell Cena how to dress or what to listen to or who his audience should be?  If that is what it takes to be on Team Bring It then Cena wants nothing to do with it.  Cena knows there are people that hate him and he’s not going to change for them or for anyone.  He’ll be judged at the end of the day but it won’t be by Rock.

There were things like the colors and the way he talks.  Also the music and the hustle, loyalty and respect.  The one that surprises Cena though is that Rock’s audience is kids.  That’s right and Cena is proud of what he is and who he’s become.  Rock hasn’t taken his eyes off Cena the whole time.  Cena morphs into Super Cena, saying that if Rock has a problem with Cena working as hard as he has, there’s something to talk about.

Rock says the good Lord will be the one to judge them and gets in Cena’s face.  Even the good Lord can’t save Cena from Rock whipping him all over Chicago.  Cena says if you want to fight there’s nothing stopping you and throws the mic down.  Here’s Miz and he has a LOT to live up to.  Miz says that he’s tired of being overshaddowed by the O Brothers: Overrated and Overhyped.  Cena will lose at Wrestlemania, but he’ll go down fighting, unlike The Rock.

Miz says he knows a secret.  Rocky isn’t going to do a thing tonight because Rock isn’t going to risk losing a movie career to get beaten up and embarrassed by Miz.  That’s not a risk, but rather a guaran-darn-tee that if Rock even looks at Miz Rock will never be able to set foot in Hollywood after the beating Miz gives him.  Rock can talk all he wants and it won’t matter.  Rock says it doesn’t matter what Miz thinks.

Riley jumps Rock and the beating is on.  Riley is knocked to the floor as Cena is gone.  Rock takes down Miz with a DDT and botches the nip up.  Oh Cena is on the floor.  People’s Elbow to Miz who is thrown to the floor.  Rock turns around and it’s an Attitude Adjustment to Rock as the booing is insane.  Rock can’t see Cena as he leaves.  Cena points to the Mania sign and we’re off the air.

Overall Rating: C+. Well the wrestling was very light this week but at the same time that was expected.  Obviously they can’t risk an injury to Miz or Cena in a pointless match…yet the other world title match participants had a match.  It’s almost as if that match means nothing in the grand scheme of things.  Anyway this was a solid build up show with I think every match getting at least some camera time.  That’s a good sign and much better than the previous few go home shows for Wrestlemania.  I liked this for the most part but some stuff could have been changed.  Good overall though.

Results

Edge/Christian b. Alberto Del Rio/Brodus Clay – Spear to Clay

Santino Marella b. Justin Gabriel – Cobra

Jack Swagger b. Jerry Lawler via DQ when Lawler used a chair

Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan/John Morrison – High Cross to Bryan

November to Remember 1997
Date: November 30, 1997
Location: Golden Dome, Monaca, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 4,634
Commentator: Joey Styles

Well it’s three and a half months later and as usual, things have changed a bit. Bigelow won the title from Douglas and tonight is the rematch. Other than that we have the match that was set up three and a half months ago as Sandman fights Sabu in what I’m sure will be a classic.

Taz is still TV champion and defending against Pitbull #2. This is the Wrestlemania for ECW, so it has to be better than the last two PPVs right? Well Hardcore Heaven was much better than Barely Legal, so maybe Heyman has figured something out. Let’s take a look.

Well for one thing the arena looks FAR better. You can see past the third row and the lighting is there. There are about two and a half times the amount of people than at the last show. Styles in the intro says that this is the biggest crowd in company history. That’s a good sign. The company is gaining a bigger audience and there’s nothing wrong with that. I still don’t entirely get the theme song thing but that’s neither here nor there

Chris Candido vs. Tommy Rogers

Rogers doesn’t even get his name announced. Candido is back in black and the sound system more or less sucks. The reverb is WAY too high and if I didn’t like AC/DC I wouldn’t know what the words were. Chris is WAY over. Rogers is one half of a very popular 80s tag team called the Fantastics. Ah ok we’re doing the in ring introductions. That makes sense.

Rogers is booed out of the freaking building. Rogers is just one of those guys that is out of the limelight now and is just in the smaller indy companies getting a paycheck on his name which is fine. A ton of guys still do that and it’s very lucrative for them. This starts off with some great technical stuff and the fans chant boring. There’s your ECW stereotype for the night: blood thirsty fans.

Something to connect him to modern times: he invented the move now knows as the Unprettier. Sunny jokes abound as it just came out that Candido is engaged to Sunny. Rogers looks like an indy wrestler and that’s not a compliment. He clears up a bit of that by suplexing Candido from the ring to the floor. This seems like a standard lightweight match and it’s working pretty well.

Dang I’m rather impressed. Again, this is what happens when you let two good workers get out there and just work a match. It’s back and forth and hard hitting stuff. Rogers, while definitely the guy that’s going to lose, makes a go of it and a lot of the time that’s all you can ask of someone. And here’s Lance Storm for no apparent reason.

He’s a recruit of the Triple Threat, Candido’s faction, so that explains things a bit. Jerry Lynn runs in for the save and apparently this is now a tag match. Ok then. Lynn has short and uncurly hair which just looks odd for him. Candido goes up top and it’s let’s have a bunch of people have them dive off onto each other. That never gets old.

The referee officially makes it a tag and we keep going. It’s also an issue for Style as he has no notes on Storm and Lynn. That’s a legit problem actually. We get an back shot of Candido. Now why could that not have been Sunny? Storm misses a missile dropkick and it’s a melee of course. This is tornado rules of course. Lynn takes a powerbomb off the top from Candido called the Blonde Bombshell but Rogers makes the save. An Unprettier connects on Storm but he walks into a Northern Lights Suplex from Candido for the pin.

Rating: B. If there was a rating between B+ and B then I’d go with that. This match was kind of a mess but it was fast paced and they worked hard so they get points there. The singles part was MUCH better than the tag but the rating is a combination of both matches though so there we are.

We get a very quick recap of Mikey Whipwreck beating Austin at this show two years ago and that Justin Credible is awesome.

Justin Credible vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Justin is a guy that is just tragically overrated. I’ve never seen anything of note out of him but he was pushed to the moon and back by Heyman so there we go. Whipwreck was supposed to be a jobber but he kept winning and is somehow the only triple crown winner in ECW history at this point. I’d look for a relatively quick squash here.

Justin has a manager named Jason who Joey gets hives from apparently. I never got that joke. The ring looks a lot better tonight too. Mikey is a cruiserweight guy that was in WCW for a cup of coffee and never did anything but take a check to stay at home. He returned to ECW and jobbed all over again. Granted that was a few years after this.

Credible is reminding me a tiny bit of Roddy Piper as far as mannerisms go, but he doesn’t have the in ring work to back it up which is going to hold him back in the long run. Jason clotheslines Mikey while Justin has the referee, which is pointless as there are no DQs. Justin is completely dominating here. I think this is supposed to be a squash but given Mikey’s resume this isn’t making sense to be a squash.

Here’s Mikey’s comeback and now Jason is in there, more or less making this a handicap match. That goes nowhere for him though as he gets kicked in the balls, setting up the Whippersnapper (stunner) off the middle rope. Mikey used that before Austin did it should be noted. And that ends Justin’s undefeated streak. They call it an upset, so I have no clue what this was supposed to be.

Rating: C+. Wait, so what was the point of making Justin out to be this big young rookie phenom? Mikey, a guy that they pointed out wasn’t doing much lately beats him and ends the streak just like that? I don’t get that at all. It was ok, but Justin dominated the majority of the match and then in the end Mikey hits like three moves for the pin? Not exactly making Justin look that good Paul.

Al Snow and Head are in the locker room. Snow was in the WWF and ECW at this time and was thrown out of the former after losing on a PPV. Head got the loss, so Snow proclaims that Head screwed Head. Keep in mind: this is 2 weeks after the Screwjob. Snow is freaking insane and I love him.

Joey now has to make this seem normal. That doesn’t work at all.

We recap Sabu vs. Sandman, which is an old rivalry based on Sabu throwing a fireball at Sandman. More than that, it’s kind of a cock contest over who is a more violent excuse for a wrestler, and tables and ladders are legal. This could be bad.

TV Title: Taz vs. Pitbull #2

Taz is WAY over. We can barely hear Joey over the reverb of the sound system. This is apparently personal. Why is it personal? We’re not told, but it’s PERSONAL. Heyman jumps on commentary here for no apparent reason. They really need to turn Joey’s mic up. I can barely understand him and Paulie.

Taz takes a great powerbomb about 15 seconds in but apparently Taz is going to recover and kill him, at least according to the crowd. Heyman keeps saying this could go on all night and I think I see what’s coming. And I’m right. Two suplexes from Taz and Pitbull taps to the Tazmission in about a minute and a half.

So let me get this straight. The other world title just got defended on the Mania of this company in a minute and a half? Remember that this isn’t like the IC or US title. This is like the Smackdown Title or something like that. I’m not buying this at all.

Post match Taz makes gay jokes about a guy named Brakkus who is bigger than Ezekial Jackson. Nothing happens but Taz beats up the security guy. Heyman panics and says go to anything else so we see Bigelow launching Spike into the crowd which has nothing to do with anything but we see it anyway. Ok then.

Rating: N/A. This just wasn’t a good idea, but I’m sure people will say it’s an ECW thing. Yes, it’s a good thing to have one of your biggest matches go 90 seconds. Defend that.

Let’s continue to waste PPV time on a highlight that has nothing to do with anything. That makes sense.

We get some clips of Bigelow taking the title from Douglas thanks to Rick Rude. If you didn’t live in New England, you were screwed as a fan when it came to PPVs in this company.

Tag Titles: F.B.I. vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks vs. Gangstanators

This is of course elimination rules. In case you’re unaware, the FBI are the Full Blooded Italians and consist of Tracy Smothers and Little Guiido (Nunzio). You know the Dudleyz. The team with the really long name is made of Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney. The Gangstanators are New Jack from the Gangstas and Kronus from the Eliminators. Tommy Rich, the FBI’s manager, cuts a bad promo in his southern accent against the crowd.

The Dudley introduction of course takes forever. To be fair though, the heat on them is epic so there we go. Big Dick Dudley is freaking scary looking. Gertner’s line of “the man that last night impregnated YOUR mother” was good if nothing else for its delivery. Only two of the teams are here so far and the segment has been going nearly five minutes.

If a team is the ECW Tag Team Champions of the World, why do they need the ECW part there? If they’re world tag team champions of the world, why do they need the ECW aspect? Unless there are other wrestling organizations on other planets, then doesn’t of the world encompass everything? Ah the chair swinging freaks show up and swing chairs while looking like freaks. Well at least their names are right. The bell rings and we have no Gangstanators.

Joey bets on the long named team. How in the world was Tommy Rich world champion? I will never understand that for the life of me. Everyone is in the ring and there are no tags. Oh this isn’t going to go well is it? Good grief can the referees slow down? Styles says that John Finnigan is assigned this match, which he follows up by saying poor bastard. That’s rather amusing. And as the Dudleys start dominating, we get Natural Born Killaz and it’s the Gangstanators.

That song is going to play until they’re eliminated isn’t it? I literally can’t understand or hear Joey over it so I have no clue what’s being said. Ah good the song is turned down a bit. Here come the weapons as New Jack is now able to “wrestle”. We’ve got signs, mailboxes, guitars and a cheese grater in case you were wondering. Actually I can live with this since it’s only the first time in four matches. That’s far more reasonable.

Just about everyone is bleeding here and I want to break that song. Ok we’re left with Kronus and D-Von in there now. Oh my stars and garter belts we have something resembling order! And here’s Big Dick Dudley to end that. He misses a moonsault by about ten miles. Even if Kronus had been there it wouldn’t have come close.

Kronus hits a 450 on him for no apparent reason as the song is playing the whole time. This is just completely insane. And Bubba dives over the ropes and takes out everyone. Ok that was actually cool looking. New Jack is in the ring alone with a guitar meaning he’s not actually alone but you get the idea. He breaks the guitar over Rich’s head and the freaking song is still going.

Kronus stands on the top rope and Guido hits him with a flag (not the pole mind you but a flag) and he falls into a Bubba Cutter to eliminate him and end that freaking song! I love Guido did you know that? Now it’s much calmer too. There are a lot more weapons, but it’s much calmer.

Eight people plus managers is just WAY too much. Guido takes a SICK bump as Bubba picks him up and throws him head first into the turnbuckle. It’s a lot worse than it sounds and looked awful. In a cool spot, Gertner throws powder into Bubba’s eyes by mistake and Bubba hits D-Von with a 3D after it’s reversed. I kind of like that for some reason.

We’re down to two teams now by the way. Rotten gets a Terrible Towel from somewhere and just as fast it’s gone. There goes the referee and we get another, but he’s dirty apparently. Yep he won’t count for the faces but does a fast one for the FBI to end it.

Rating: D+. Oddly enough, this wasn’t bad. You have to accept the violence and insanity with ECW, but DANG what was the point in the FBI holding the belts here? That makes less than no sense, but it’s ECW I guess. This was freaking insane and once the Gangstanators were out it went WAY up in quality.

Dreamer shows up with Beaulah and says he’s here to take out Van Dam despite being injured.

RVD has been working for Vince so Tommy, the embodiment of ECW, doesn’t like it. These video recaps are VERY helpful for someone like me that has no clue what’s going on.

Joey says they’re supposed to have interviews from the main event guys now, but neither will talk. Good to know I guess,

Rob Van Dam vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is a flag match but not in the usual sense. It’s a standard match but the winner gets to raise their flag: WWF for RVD and ECW for Dreamer. It’s very amusing that Dreamer would wind up in WWF and Van Dam would be the last big star for ECW. Ok it’s not that funny but whatever. Both guys have awesome music if nothing else.

You can hear the opening notes of Enter Sandman but they cut off just as fast and Man in the Box starts up, so I’m guessing that was a mistake. Beaulah is freaking amazing looking. Dreamer may be a jobber but he gets that. Dreamer wins, end of argument. Dreamer is 26 here, and that’s just weird to hear. He seems like someone that should always be like 35 or something minimum.

I can’t get over how beautiful Beaulah is. She’s more or less wearing a low cut dress that’s skin tight so she’s about to fall out too, but her face could rival Trish’s here, Dreamer is a guy that has aged well. You can tell he’s a lot older now, but not by a lot. We’re already on the floor so at least that didn’t take long. We get a Van Daminator about a minute in but it’s on the floor.

Van Dam is bleeding from the eye and I’d bet it’s legit since blading there would just be stupid as all goodness. Massive GET THE F OUT chant at RVD. He’s quite a heel actually. The fans are all over him and his demeanor never changes. A fan shouts “give Dreamer a minute!” which is very amusing.

Apparently Dreamer has a broken heel and a separated shoulder but he finally starts getting some offense in. When you can get a loud BREAK HIS NECK chant going, you know you’re drawing mad heat. Dreamer goes up for something but Alfonso hits him with a chair to the injured foot and that earns him Rolling Thunder which is just called a tumbling splash here.

Starship Pain gets on knees and chair. I love the counter Dreamer just used. Van Dam tried to get fancy and had his legs spread across the ropes so Dreamer just kicks him in the nuts and DDTs him. Alfonso has the ref though so there’s no cover. A bunch of referees come out for no apparent reason and one is Jeff Jones, who cheats for Van Dam.

The other referees and Beaulah beat him up as we get a great thong shot. Apparently anyone can count here as she gets two for Dreamer. You can barely hear Joey at all. Dreamer has the ECW flag and is about to put it over Van Dam but Stevie Richards, Doug Furnas and Phillip LaFon show up to interfere, allowing for the Five Star to hit while they count the pin. That apparently ends it.

I seriously can’t understand Joey at all. They put the WWF flag over Dreamer and put him out a table.. Sabu comes out and clotheslines Beaulah for no apparent reason. Dreamer gets up and covers her and we get Sandman’s music for the save. I said he comes out for the save.

Ok, while Dreamer is being beaten on, he does his full entrance first. At least I think he does. I hear music but I can’t tell what it is and I can’t hear Joey to tell me who it is so I have no idea. Oh ok it’s Sandman. These problems HAVE to be fixed. They can’t keep having technical problems this bad. It’s inexcusable and hurting the show a lot.

Rating: C-. Can we get a match longer than a minute and a half with no interference? I mean really is that so hard? It wasn’t bad, but man they could have done it without the interference. In a place where weapons are legal why couldn’t they just have Van Dam beat him and THEN do the beatdown?

With no transition at all, here’s your penultimate match.

Sandman vs. Sabu

I’ve had a timer going. Sandman’s music hit four minutes ago and he’s still not in the ring. I get that that’s his thing, but they could have killed Tommy and buried him with this much time. Sabu finally dives on him,, I think out of boredom. Remember, ladders and tables are legal, unlike in other matches where everything is legal. And all of a sudden we have a ton of ladders and chairs too.

The fans chant at someone to sitdown. Is there a class or something where I can learn these chants? Well I can hear Joey now. I’m sure nothing of note happened that I would need to hear from him in the last 12 minutes. Sabu “dominates”, meaning he botches less than Sandman, until Sandman “takes over”, meaning he falls into Sabu which is called an elbow. What the heck am I watching?

I’ve seen backyard stuff more “professional” than this. There is spray paint on the bottom of a table where it says ECW. Good to know who the table belongs to I guess. Hokey smoke a wrestling move! It was a slam in case you were wondering. HAHA Joey called them athletes. It’s 4:15am. I needed a laugh like that to stay awake.

There’s a table between the ring and the guard rail. Sabu is kind of on it and Sandman goes to the top. He drops a “leg”, meaning some part of his lower body that isn’t really clear and “hits” Sabu, meaning Sabu moved and there was no contact but Sabu acted like it hurt anyway. Apparently people still aren’t sitting down. We get another alleged legdrop.

Even Hogan wasn’t that bad. What’s this? They must be lost. They accidentally got in the ring. My mother and father threw this much stuff at each other during their divorce. Were these two married? I’ve come to a conclusion: this isn’t a match. It’s not wrestling. It’s not professional either.

It’s just two guys using weapons to hit each other. If you want an idea of why ECW was considered crap and second rate, I give you Exhibit A. I have better things to do than keep watching this so called match so I’m cutting it off here. Sabu wins with an Arabian Facebuster with a ladder in case you care.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling, period.

ECW Title: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Shane Douglas

Now, hopefully these guys have something better to offer. It certainly can’t be any worse. If it’s even wrestling, it’s better than that. I would say that previous thing is why I would say I’m ashamed to be a wrestling fan, but since that wasn’t wrestling I’m clear of any such issue. We can’t hear Joey again over the music. Remember that these two are teammates in the Triple Threat.

Challenger comes out last so it’s fairly obvious that we’re getting a title change here. Bless my soul we’re getting wrestling! I don’t like Douglas but I can go with this easily now. There’s a LOUD Cornette chant which I don’t know if I missed the reason for or not. This is actually pretty good. It’s not great or anything, but it’s holding my attention. Bigelow is controlling it here which surprises me.

I guess it’s because it’s easier for him to do something with Shane than for Shane to do something with him. That makes sense at least. Shane stays in there at least with some decent stuff here and there which always helps keep a match solid. Another reason this match is decent: there are relatively few weapons shots. I can’t get on them for using a few as just about every major company used weapons a bit in their main events. A bit of them are fine, but use them in moderation.

There’s simply no need to have them all over the place and using them from the opening bell. That’s just freaking pointless. Anyway, Bigelow is more or less dominating this whole thing. I love how the people in this company would just come and go but the main event guys for the most part stayed. I guess that’s why they were in the main event: they were the only ones that were always around.

Oddly enough these two would be gone before the company folded but whatever. Francine tries to use a crutch and that gets her nowhere but scared right back down to the floor where she was before. Ok then. Bigelow keeps wprking on the right arm, which just looks odd . Like I’ve said, hardly anyone not named Benoit ever did that.

Since Bigelow has dominated the whole match, I would bet my house on Shane winning with a quick move. Heyman does that all the time and it’s really annoying as it’s very predictable. And holy crap I’m right as Douglas hits a belly to belly suplex out of nowhere and we’re more or less even.

Bigelow gets a chair and a table as the fans are all behind Shane. He’s the hometown guy so at least there’s a reason for Shane to get the title here. With Bigelow dominating again, Shane hits a quick belly to belly through the table for the title. I mean one second Bigelow was dominating and the next he was getting pinned. That’s not exciting or sweet. That’s stupid.

It makes the champion look weak because he can’t kick out of a simple suplex and it says that his offense sucks when after 25 minutes of pounding on Shane he is able to throw a 400lb man around. I get that it makes Shane strong, but it makes Bigelow looks way too weak and that’s just stupid. The Triple Threat celebrates to end it.

Rating: C-. This is a match that looks good on paper but sucks in reality. It was long and drawn out, but that doesn’t mean it was good. That’s a big problem a lot of fans have. They think that more time instantly means better match and that’s simply not the case. The psychology here was so off that Freud couldn’t solve it. There was no flow to it at all and the ending was just contrived stupidity.

More or less it was Bigelow beating on Shane to set up a big moment for the live crowd and that just doesn’t work. They tried to make it a big moment and it kind of was, but the title change a month and a half before was to do nothing but let Shane win it here, and that’s just stupid. Shane would hold the belt for over a year, losing it in January of 99, which is so stupid I don’t have the time or the patience to get into it here.

Overall Rating: D. If this was any other show in the year, this is a C or so. But this was their Wrestlemania? That simply doesn’t work at all. It felt like any other show and it was supposed to be special. They talked about it like it was special and that the ending was special, but it just simply wasn’t at all.

There was a lot of good stuff here but a lot of bad stuff. The next to last match was inexcusable. I don’t care that it’s an extreme company. At the end of the day, it’s a wrestling company and that’s what the focus should be. Not 20 minutes of the Home Depot Wars. Matches like that are ok if they’re executed properly with good workers (see Cactus Jack vs. HHH at the 2000 Rumble for details) or used for comedy (see Holly, Crash).

This however was sloppy and not interesting. It should have been eight minutes at the very most. Instead it’s two and a half times that long. That doesn’t work at all. The technical stuff can’t be happening either. You have one commentator which is risky enough as it is, but to not be able to hear him is just too much, especially for the sake of having loud music. You’re sacrificing the PPV audience for the live audience, which is just stupid as all goodness. If this is a house show, great. It’s a PPV though and they need to understand that.

Now for the good. The show looked FAR better than it did last time or the time before. This looked like a major show from a major company. The wrestling for the most part was good. I’d say about 75 to 80% of this was passable if not good. The tag match is ok as it was one of about seven matches (Home Depot wasn’t a match remember) and it was the only one that used a large amount of weapons.

I’m cool with that. It’s going to happen so keep it in the most over the top match. That’s fine. A final thing: GIVE US CLEAN FINISHES. Seriously, of the seven matches on the card tonight, we had one with a double run in, one with a run in, one that went 90 seconds, the 8 man tag title match that wound up with about 12 people involved and a cheating ref, a match with three people interfering, both managers interfering and a cheating referee plus two other referees, giving us ten people involved in a one on one match, and the main event which was ok but ends with more weapons.

Just give us a few clean pins. It’s really not that hard to do, trust me. This was bad for a major show but decent for a regular show. Like I said, as a regular show this would be a C or a C+, but if this is what’s supposed to be the big show of the year, it’s nearly a failure. It’s watchable though, but only for fans.

Wrestlemania 20
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
Star Spangled Banner: Harlem Boys Choir

This just feels right. Wrestlemania is supposed to be at MSG. This show is considered to be the show where the new generation took control as Cena debuted, Eddie was defending a title, and Benoit challenged for a title. Sadly, two of them are gone now so those plans have been completely derailed.

This show is the first of the modern HOF induction shows as well as having the first smaller arena show in four years. I’m split on that actually. The smaller shows are better in the sense that it’s more personalized and there simply isn’t a place better than MSG, but the stadiums show off the spectacle more. Really depends on what you like. Anyway, let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful and we go into the opening video. This is definitely the biggest show of all time with major matches and us at Madison Square Garden. The main event is Benoit vs. Shawn vs. HHH which has the problem of Shawn. There is zero point to having him in there but he’s there so that HHH doesn’t have to job to Benoit clean. Whatever I guess.

To end the video we see Vince, Shane and Vince’s grandson, which I believe is the first time Vince’s grandchildren have appeared on WWE programming.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is the rapper at this point and hasn’t really gotten established at all at this point. He had been around a little under two years at this point and had turned mega face. You could see that he had what it took back then but he was being paced along very well. Show is champion coming into this. He was more or less worthless (yeah a stretch I know) as champion here so the ending wasn’t really in doubt.

John does his represent thing before the match starts. Dang you could see the star just trying to break out in him. He does a quick rap about Show and says Show is a gorilla. Cena’s hand is taped up so maybe he’s hurt or something. This isn’t really funny or anything but it gets the crowd going which is the point. Granted it’s a New York crowd so it’s not like it takes much work overall.

The title literally looks like a toy on Show’s shoulder. This is serious Show who has been motivated/focused lately which means he’ll lose a big match soon. Cena tries to get around the power to start which doesn’t really work at all. He gets sent to the floor and needs to rethink his strategy. Show allegedly retired Hogan in this building. Which retirement was that?

A cross body off the top by Cena of course fails as it always has against Show. Cena gets the powerslam that he deserves for being an idiot like that. He hammers away which gets him nowhere other than clotheslined down with ease. They have the picture of the current match on the opposite side from the cameras which is a cool thing to see.

Show suplexes Cena and he goes flying which makes John look like a toy. I know you hear that a lot but it’s true here. Headbutt puts Cena down and Show stands on his back. Cena hammers away but gets kicked in the face to end that. Show adds that standing legdrop that I think is called the Showstopper depending on who you listen to for two. The fans chant for Cena.

Cena tries a sleeper which is broken up rather quickly. This has more or less been all Show. Cobra Clutch by Show and Cena is in trouble. Naturally he just lets it go to put it right back on. Cena fights back with right hands and takes the knee out to send Show’s face into the buckle. FU gets two and Cena isn’t sure what to do now. Cena grabs the chain he brought with him but throws it down to distract the referee. The knuckles he carried with him also winds up going upside Show’s head and Cena has his first title.

Rating: C-. Basic big man vs. little man match here but at the same time, not much going on with it at all. Show dominated and Cena hit like three moves to take over and win the thing. That being said, the fans were into Cena which is the whole point. Not bad but kind of generic overall.

Coach is in the back and runs into some random people that aren’t important before saying hi to Teddy Long. He goes into Bischoff’s office to find he and Johnny Spade. Spade had just gotten a name change from Johnny Blaze. A few weeks later he was Johnny Nitro, and a few years later he was John Morrison. Didn’t realize he’d been there that long. Coach is told to go find the Undertaker, who was redebuting for the 58th time tonight.

Evolution minus HHH is in the back and Orton says he’s going to become a hardcore legend. As a former OVW Hardcore Champion, he’s well on his way. He never did that, but he got close a month later at Backlash. If you haven’t seen that match, go do so immediately. Well worth the 15 minutes it takes up. Anyway we see a clip of Orton hurting Foley back in June as this was almost a year long storyline. Oh and he’s IC Champion. The idea is that Foley is scared of Orton but has a backbone now. Oh and Rock is with him for a handicap match. That always helps.

Raw Tag Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Wow. You can see the division dying as we speak. The Dudleyz would more or less be gone in four months, save for the One Night Stand main event. We then have the one decent tag team on the brand at the time, and then two generic guys packaged as a “team”. RVD and Booker are your odd combination tag team. This is one fall to a finish. The remix of RVD and Booker’s songs was really quite bad.

Dupree vs. Van Dam to start us off here. Booker comes in quickly and gets a superkick to Renee for two. Bubba is tagged in. Why would you tag out here if it’s one fall to a finish? The Dudleys are faces for this week. The fans already want tables. At least they’re patient as they waited a full minute before starting that chant here.

Ross thinks Booker is a young man. That’s rather amusing. Bubba tries to do the suck on this deal and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. This is more or less RVD/Booker vs. the Dudleys with two other teams in the background. Jindrak gets two on Booker. It’s Garrison Cade at this point too. Who thought that would be a good name? I mean dude, Garrison Cade? Really?

Dupree comes in and La Resistance takes over for a bit. It’s Dupree/Conway in this form of La Resistance as that team changed every few months. No real reason given for why these teams are in here but does it really matter? The fans chant for USA while Conway, the American, is in there. Conway gets an elbow for two, which JR says was opportunistic. How? Isn’t that like doing his job?

Conway uses a bow and arrow hold for awhile to kill some time. Spinebuster gets Booker out of trouble. Wow Van Dam was in a good amount of worthless tag teams. RVD comes in and cleans house. The Five Star is blocked as D-Von shoves him off the top. Everything breaks down and it’s Booker (illegal) vs. D-Von (also illegal). 3D is broken up by Cade and then an axe kick sets up the Five Star on Conway for the champions to retain.

Rating: D. Totally boring match here that should have been on Raw. The division if you want to call it that was completely dead by this point and nothing was going to save it. The titles needed to be unified back then but wouldn’t be until 2010. Weak match that had no need to be on Mania in the slightest.

In the basement, the Coach hears noises coming from behind a door and opens it to find Gene Okerlund trying to get dressed. He tries to explain why he’s there and Bobby Heenan stumbles out half dressed as well. Coach says it’s not what you think. There was a poker game according to Heenan. Moolah and Mae pop out and drag the guys back in where frightening sounds are heard. One of my all time favorite segments.

We recap Christian vs. Jericho which was a great storyline. This started with Jericho and Christian betting a Canadian Dollar that Jericho could sleep with Trish before Christian could sleep with Lita. Trish found out about the bet and got all ticked off. Jericho fell for Trish and Christian tried to get his head back on straight. This led to Christian vs. Trish with Christian hurting Trish. Tonight is the grudge match. This was a great buildup and the video has me wanting to see the match years later. That’s a really good sign.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

 

I guess Lita was just dropped from this after awhile for reasons unknown. They lock up for a bit and then Jericho is like screw it and takes Christian down with right hands. Clothesline takes him down again. Christian sends him to the apron but gets backdropped to the floor. All Jericho in the opening few minutes and we get a big Y2J chant.

Jericho hits that springboard cross body to the floor and then sends Christian into the barricade. Back in and Christian’s sunset flip attempt is countered into the Walls. They’re not applied though and Christian is able to get a thumb to the eye and then dump Jericho to the floor. Christian chokes away and talks trash to Jericho at the same time. He’s multi-tasking I guess.

Knee to the ribs by Christian as the fans are surprisingly quiet here. They don’t seem bored though and are instantly back into it when Christian hits a chinlock. I guess they’re interested here. Christian pulls some of Jericho’s hair out which gets him two. Ah the old hair attack. Haven’t seen that in years. Back to the chinlock but Jericho tries for the Walls again and again they don’t work.

Christian chokes away but Jericho fights back. Off to a neck crank for a second but Jericho is taken down by the hair as he tries to escape. Hey here’s another chinlock. Walls are attempted again and again fails. Spinwheel kick gets two on Jericho. Jericho gets a forearm and a knee to the back as he’s starting a comeback. Running enziguri gets two.

Rollup by both guys gets two and Christian’s had a handful of ropes. Northern Lights Suplex by Jericho gets two. Lionsault attempt winds up eating knees but the Unprettier can’t hit either. Reverse tornado DDT out of the corner gets two for Christian. They’re moving a lot more out there now. Backbreaker by Christian and he goes up. Jericho is slammed off and Christian hits a cross body which is rolled through for two by Jericho.

Christian throws on a Texas Cloverleaf and Jericho is in trouble. This is the first time they’ve had a bit of a break in a good while. Jericho breaks that and tries the Walls for the fourth time which doesn’t work either. He finally gets them on the fifth try but on the floor. As Christian tries to get back in he gets caught in a double underhook suplex off the top for two.

And here comes Trish. I’m pretty sure you know how this is going to end but she looks great in a tied off shirt so I can’t complain. Edgecution by Christian gets a long two. Christian drags Trish in and shoves her down. Trish “accidentally” nails Jericho and Christian gets a rollup and the win with it.

Rating: B. Decent match but it could have been a lot more. This was a match where the buildup was better than the match. The feud would continue for a good while though and it continued to be rather solid. Fun stuff here and pure popcorn soap opera stuff which is usually a good combination.

Post match Trish slaps Jericho, turning heel and leaves with Christian. The crowd is TICKED. Trish and Christian kiss to a big reaction as they leave.

Now we get to one of the more entertaining part of the show. Foley is talking about being nervous about having his first match in four years but Rock pops up and cuts him off. He talks about how there’s no reason to be nervous because everyone knows what’s coming. Hurricane and Rosey know it. Don Muraco and Jimmy Snuka know it.

But most importantly the people know it. Make sure you get a shot of the people. Rock says let’s go take care of Evolution, if you smell what the Rock (Foley: and Sock) IS COOKING! Funny promo.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Now this has an interesting backstory to it. Back in December, Orton was on his Legend Killer gimmick and called out Foley. Foley got ready to fight him but at the last minute bailed out, allowing Orton to spit on him and walk out of the arena, branding him as a coward. At the Royal Rumble, Orton had made a long run but Foley entered at #21 and beat the crap out of Orton.

The problem with this was that when you go after Orton, you get all of Evolution. Except HHH who had more important things to do than fight two first ballot Hall of Famers. This made it 3-1, so Foley needed help. Rock returns to help his friend, and we get this as the end result. If you ever want to see the match that almost single handedly got Batista and Orton over, this is it. It was them being in there with the big boys and we could see what they can do.

I love the old school vs. new school dynamic here. The Rock N Sock Connection hit the ring and the fight is on. Rock vs. Batista is really weird to see. How weird is it that Rock retired younger than Foley? Rock vs. Flair is something that is just awesome to look at and it officially starts us off here. Rock does Flair’s strut and they lock up.

Out to the floor and Flair slips a thumb into the eye. That gets him nowhere as he gets slammed on the floor and Foley adds an elbow off the apron. Off to Orton now and Foley wants in. Orton bails but Foley somehow catches him and the beating is on. Back in with Foley in control. Rock comes in and punches Orton in the balls and then Flair smacks him in the back of the head.

Rock fights off Evolution but gets caught by Batista on the floor with the power game. Off to Orton vs. Rock in the ring now with Orton hammering away. Make that Batista. He’s not as big as he would get but still gets two off an elbow drop. Flair comes in now and throws chops in the corner. He tries to strut and gets his head taken off by a running clothesline. Well why mess with the basics?

Like an idiot, Flair goes up and gets slammed down. Why is anyone surprised at that? Off to Batista who hammers away. The crowd being all attentive is weird. Rock gets a clothesline to Batista and it’s off to Foley now. Double arm DDT is blocked and it’s a slug out. Running knee in the corner is stopped by a clothesline though. That’s a popular move in this match isn’t it?

On the floor Foley grabs the Claw on Orton out of nowhere. This is a good match so it’s hard to make jokes here. For the 1000^th time in his career Foley’s knees slam into the steps with a LOUD bang. Orton in now who hammers away even more. Make that Flair who chops Foley down and then they slug it out. Foley takes him down but Orton comes in for a chinlock/face pull to stop Foley.

Batista comes in as Evolution keeps up that fast tagging. He starts the ground and pound on Foley but Mick slips a hand up and grabs the Claw to break it up. Orton comes in for the save and they keep tagging in and out very quickly. Swinging neckbreaker to Batista buys Foley some time and a double clothesline buys him even more time.

Flair comes in to break up the tag but a shot to the head is enough to bring in Rock who cleans house. DDTs and right hands all around but a Batista spinebuster takes him down. And now Flair wants to do the People’s Elbow. Rock nips up while Flair struts and drills him. There’s a spinebuster for Flair and it’s the REAL People’s Elbow, complete with Rock’s 8^th strut of the match.

RKO doesn’t work but the Rock Bottom does. Flair makes a last second save and then SPRINTS around the ring to grab a chair. Batista Bomb to Rock which gets two for Orton. Rock manages to bring in Foley and he finally gets his hands on Orton. Foley loads up Socko but takes too long and Orton grabs a quick RKO for the pin. Foley sits up afterwards which I like as it makes it look like Foley got stunned but not knocked out. And that my friends, is how you put people over.

Rating: A. This wasn’t so much a great match but rather a work of art out there. They knew what they were doing and the two old masters made stars out of young guys. This is what you’re supposed to do out there as the old guys look great as well and like I said, it was a quick win rather than a dominating one. The key thing there though was that it was a win. Great stuff and worth seeing for what it means to put someone over.

Rock and Foley get a standing ovation as they deserve.

This year’s HOF class is honored. No big name here except Jesse Ventura. Next year it really picks up though. Heenan breaking up over wishing Monsoon was there with him is a very touching moment. Harley Race and Tito Santana go in too. teases running for President in 2008.

They bring them out into the arena to have Mean Gene do the presentations to the crowd. The full list is Bobby Heenan (can barely talk due to throat cancer. The fans chant weasel and Heenan’s reaction is of course hilarious), Tito Santana (one of the most underrated guys ever despite being considered great), Big John Studd (dead, his son is here), Harley Race (one of the best heels ever), Pete Rose (deserves to be in due to what he did at Mania. He was said to be incredibly gracious about being in so I can live with this).

Back to the wrestlers with Don Muraco (took the Snuka Splash that apparently every wrestler ever was inspired by), Great Valentine (gets one of the biggest pops surprisingly enough. Looks JUST like he did in the ring and still does to this day as far as I know), Junkyard Dog (Also dead, his daughter is here for him. It was her high school graduation that he died on the way home from), Billy Graham (perhaps the most influential heel of all time), Sgt. Slaughter (go watch the Alley Fight with Pat Patterson. Incredible fight), and Jesse Ventura (do I need to explain this one?

What’s the best way to follow that up? With this of course:

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Instead of the traditional rules, this is pinfall. Blast it. This is happening because Torrie/Sable are in Playboy. Sable was doing a weird lesbian kind of thing at the time with Torrie, which is odd because Torrie had just come off a lesbian angle with Dawn, which ended apparently in her sleeping with Dawn.

Sable requests they all start in their underwear. Taz and Cole are cracking up over a joke Taz makes. It actually was funny and tells me these guys are funny in real life. I’m trying not to pay attention here as this is depressing. Torrie and Sable win.

Rating: F. I hate these things. They’re a total waste of time, we’ve seen the girls like this before, and it’s nothing special at all. Total waste of about 9 minutes.

We get some clips from Axxess.

Eddie comes in to talk to Benoit who is very nervous to say the least. He says that win or lose, he’ll be proud of Chris. Benoit says he won’t lose. Eddie says no one really expects Benoit to win, more or less sealing his title win. Benoit says he’s proud of Eddie for winning the WWE Title and Eddie starts laughing. He wants Benoit to get fired up and Benoit is. Tonight they both walk out world champions.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

This is a ten man gauntlet match. Think Tag Team Turmoil with the champion, Chavo Jr., going tenth. Everyone stands at ringside so I’ll just list them off as they go in. Rey comes out last and is the Flash this year. Ultimo Dragon vs. Shannon Moore to start and they’re moving out there, getting three two counts in maybe 40 seconds. Back suplex by Shannon gets two. Whisper in the Wind by Moore misses and Dragon hits the Asai DDT (sets for a Stunner but backflips over Shannon to slam the back of his head into the mat. Looks great) for the pin. I hope this isn’t a pattern.

Jamie Noble is in third and he jumps Dragon to take an early advantage. Dragon unleashes the kicks but misses a moonsault. A neckbreaker by Noble sets up a guillotine choke by Noble to get rid of Dragon.

Funaki comes in and is rolled up and pinned in 4 seconds. I hate these kind of matches for stupid stuff like these last two eliminations. This would never happen in a regular match and makes Funaki and Dragon look like blundering morons.

Nunzio comes in next and begs off instead of charging, which I think is logical here. They trade some holds and Nunzio gets a victory roll for two. Big kick gets two for Nunzio. He tries an O’Connor Roll but Noble ducks to send him to the floor. Noble dives on him with a front flip to put both guys down and Nunzio is counted out.

Billy Kidman is in now and Nunzio trips Noble. Kidman climbs the ropes and throws a Shooting Star Press but underrotates and lands ON TOP OF HIS HEAD! That gets two in the ring and Noble grabs that guillotine again. It’s easily reversed and Kidman adds a running enziguri. He tries the Shooting Star again but Noble runs up to block it. Short powerbomb off the middle ropes gets rid of Noble though as that might have been the longest fall at just under two minutes.

Rey comes in and gets half killed by a dropkick. He gets whipped in and baseball slides between Kidman’s legs while on his back. Kind of awesome. Kidman takes over after some interference from Tajiri’s friend Akio for no apparent reason. They go to the corner and Mysterio gets a sunset bomb to end Kidman.

Tajiri in next and he grabs the Tarantula very quickly. Handspring elbow is blocked by a dropkick and there’s the 619. Akio interferes again and winds up taking the mist to the face. Rey grabs a rollup to end Tajiri.

Akio can’t fight because of the mist. Whatever.

Tajiri kicks Rey in the head and it’s down to Chavo and Mysterio. Rey avoids a charge and gets a rana to take over. Down goes Chavo Senior via a baseball slide. The referee won’t let Rey dive on him though. Dang it give us our injured senior citizens! Ok he’s in his mid 50s here but he looks about 80. Rey is like screw it and dives over the referee to crush Chavo Senior. He tries a sunset flip but Chavo grabs the hand of his son to get the pin to retain. So Chavo pinned Rey in about 1:50? Got it.

Rating: D+. That’s overall. The problem here is simple: they went through it WAY too fast and it was impossible to get into any of the matches. These things need like 30 minutes to work which is why you never see them. This would have been WAY better as a fatal fourway but since both tag titles are in that format we had this. Not a fan of these at all because they make the guys in them look far too beatable.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock. Goldberg was #30 in the Rumble and was being interviewed prior to the match. Lesnar got annoyed that he wasn’t being interviewed since he was WWE Champion at the time. He came in and beat up Goldberg in the Rumble so that Angle could eliminate him after Goldberg was dominating. Austin gave Goldberg a ticket to No Way Out and said don’t do anything he wouldn’t do. Goldberg speared Brock and Eddie won the title because of it (great match if you’ve never seen it).

Austin was named guest referee and then Lesnar popped up and gave Austin an F5. This basically turned into Austin vs. Lesnar instead with Goldberg being on the side. Lesnar stole Austin’s four wheeler and ticking Austin off. Austin beat Lesnar up and took it back, which totally took the spotlight off of Goldberg to eventually set up Brock vs. Austin.

However, this was Lesnar’s last WWE match s he went to the NFL and then the UFC, which made Austin more or less pointless here. Oh and it’s Goldberg’s last match too. Think they’re going to give it that old college try and work as hard as they can? If so, you’re not that smart.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Let the chanting begin! The shorts on Goldberg never looked right. They stand around for about 20 seconds and we get to the far more interesting part of this match: the crowd. Almost immediately we get a YOU SOLD OUT chant directed at Lesnar. It’s one of the loudest you’ll ever hear outside of Philly and it shakes the guys up it seems. The announcers actually acknowledge it which is saying a lot.

Make that a minute of standing around. There’s the Goodbye Song as they’ve literally stood there staring at each other for a minute and a half. Ross tells us Lesnar is gone and they shout F Bombs at each other. Two minutes with zero contact at all. Now the fans chant for Austin, likely wanting him to Stun them both and just end it at that. Two and a half minutes now. This is all considered part of the match mind you.

At 2:45 they lock up. Amusingly enough Goldberg is called a mixed martial arts aficionado. They go down to their knees in a lockup. That eats up literally 45 seconds and it’s back to staring at each other. We’re four minutes into a thirteen and a half minute match and the total amount of contact is 45 seconds, literally all of which is on a lockup. Think about paying a ticket to see this, one of the feature matches, and getting this. They deserve the crowd reaction they’re getting.

They lock up again and that eats up almost 30 more seconds. The crowd chants THIS MATCH SUCKS and they’re right. The first offensive move of the match comes five minutes in (and yes I’m counting via a counter on the video) with a headlock by Lesnar that goes nowhere. They exchange shoulder blocks and then knock each other down with them. We’re 6:30 into this now and the move list in its entirety is: tie up, tie up, head lock, Goldberg shoulder block, Lesnar shoulder block, double shoulder block.

FINALLY things pick up a bit as Lesnar kicks away. Goldberg is like screw that and press slams him, bringing him down with a half spear/half spinebuster. The regular spear misses though and Goldberg goes chest first into the post. We hit the floor for some Lesnar dominance. I guess that was all the offense Goldberg had in him. The fans aren’t that impressed and tell Goldberg that he sucks.

Back in now and Lesnar really upgrades his offense with a suplex. Into a headlock with an arm trap. This is terrible. This eats up about a minute until Goldberg flips him to ZERO pop. Oh hey let’s go right back to the hold again because it worked so well the first time. Then they ram into each other again and are both down. The fans aren’t exactly happy.

Ross calls the match pedestrian. No Ross, taking a walk would be way more interesting than this. The fans boo the heck out of it as Goldberg makes his comeback. The crowd is chanting for Hogan. In 2004. Wow. Spinning neckbreaker sets up the spear for two. Yeah back then they wanted to drop the Jackhammer because the company was really stupid. F5 hits out of nowhere for two as well. Lesnar misses the spear and then the spear and Jackhammer ends it to make Goldberg 1-0!

Rating: F. This was a disgrace. I don’t care if you’re leaving or not, you don’t do it that way. No excuse for this whatsoever.

Austin, who did NOTHING in the match, stuns both guys post match to try and keep the fans from storming the ring to kill the guys in the match.

WM 21 is in LA.

Vince comes out and says there’s someone that should be thanked for Mania making it to #20. He then amazes even me, perhaps the most jaded wrestling fan there is and he thanks the fans. This amazed me to no end when I saw it and it still does today. Love him or hate him, this was pure class right here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. APA vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers

More filler here before we get to the real main events. This is one fall to a finish again. The APA was more or less worthless by this point. I didn’t even know they were still together in 04. Bradshaw would be world champion in the summer. Rikishi and Scotty have the titles coming in here. Bradshaw vs. Benjamin to start us off here.

After JBL takes Shelton down for awhile, Doug Basham tags himself in and I just do not care at this point. Absolutely nothing of note is going on here. Haas vs. Scotty at the moment. Crowd simply does not care either and it’s obvious. Bearhug to Scotty but a Basham comes in for the…save? Scotty is the face in peril I guess. He gets an enziguri but kicks Doug into Danny to keep Scotty from making the tag again.

Off to Rikishi who cleans house. I think he was supposed to be the grizzled veteran that could beat up just about anyone in the match. They pushed him like that for awhile and it didn’t work incredibly well. German attempt by Benjamin but the power of fat sends him to the floor. Haas gets a Stinkface for not funny comedy. Bradshaw comes in to clean house but walks into a Samoan Drop and then Rikishi drops down onto Danny to retain.
Rating: D. Pointless filler. These teams were worthless by this point anyway as they were all on the verge of breaking up. Shelton was in the IC title hunt within a year, JBL debuted that Summer, the Bashams were fired soon thereafter and no one ever cared about Rikishi and Scotty anyway. Total waste of time.

Edge is coming back.

Jesse Ventura is with Donald Trump at ringside. This was when the Apprentice was still a hot show so Trump was a celebrity here. I don’t like him but you have to admit, the guy apparently likes wrestling as this was the 4th show he was a part of. Jesse implies he’ll run for President someday, getting a big pop.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

This is belt vs. hair with Victoria as champion. Victoria got hotter every time I saw her. The crowd is already more into this than they were for the entire previous match. Molly works the arm to control but gets rolled up for two. Suplex gets two for Molly. Molly is a virgin and wears big underwear which is the focal point of the match. She uses really basic stuff and it’s rather boring. Sunset Bomb gets two and then Molly tries the Widow’s Peak. That doesn’t work and Victoria gets a backslide to retain.

Rating: D+. Short and pretty dull. The real thing here was the shaved diva which doesn’t really do much as the stipulation was more or less just thrown on. Lack of an interesting match for the most part but at least Victoria looked good in those little white shorts.

Head shaving ensues.

We recap Eddie vs. Angle. The idea in short is Eddie is a former drug addict and Kurt says that means he shouldn’t represent Smackdown. The idea is that Eddie is in over his head and Heyman, the Smackdown GM, is against Eddie too for no apparent reason.

During the video package, Molly is still being shaved.
Smackdown Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

They lock up in the first minute, already far ahead of Lesnar vs. Goldberg as far as pacing goes. We start with some mat stuff where Eddie is talented but in over his head. Angle takes him down with a judo throw and grabs a headlock. Let’s go Angle/Angle Sucks chants begin dueling. Angle runs him over with a shoulder and it’s a standoff.

Eddie gets a set of shoulder blocks and Angle hits the floor to clear his head. Back in and Angle takes it back to the mat which is where he’s definitely in control for the most part. Front facelock goes on to drain some energy out of the champion. Eddie escapes and we go back to the mat again with Eddie controlling a keylock. This is well done stuff as they’re definitely keeping things interesting out there for this.

Knee to the ribs takes Eddie down and it’s off to an abdominal stretch. Eddie reverses and tries Three Amigos but can only get one as Kurt gets a German. Out to the apron and Angle of course can’t get the German to the floor because it would, you know, kill Eddie. Eddie knocks him to the floor and dives out at Angle but misses, hitting the barrier chest first. That gets two back in the ring.

Angle works on the ribs/midsection even more, eventually hot shotting Eddie onto the top rope for two. Belly to belly sends Eddie flying. Another gets two and it’s back to the ribs. Angle shifts it into a bearhug and then into a belly to belly for two. Middle rope belly to belly is blocked as is the running belly to belly. Frog Splash misses and Eddie’s momentum is gone just as fast as it arrived.

Kurt hammers away as Cole calls him a hypocrite for talking about how Eddie is a disgrace. Eddie shrugs it off and wants more shots. He fires back and gets a little momentum going. A charge in the corner misses and Eddie gets a belly to back suplex for two. Eddie still can’t get Three Amigos and it’s Rolling German time. The second is reversed into a rollup for two and then Angle drills Eddie to take him right back down again.

Angle Slam is countered and Eddie speeds things up a bit. Three Amigos are attempted again and again Kurt counters after a second one. Ankle Lock goes on for a bit but not that long. Dropkick puts Kurt down but as Eddie goes for the Frog Splash Angle gets the running belly to belly two. After a rollup gets two Eddie is caught in a German for two.

Another counter to the Angle Slam, this one in the form of a DDT sets up the Frog Splash for two. Has that ever happened before? Angle plays possum and picks the ankle out of nowhere into the ankle lock. Again he manages to send Kurt to the floor and Eddie is unlacing his boot. Angle doesn’t see this and comes right back with the ankle lock. Eddie kicks the hold off and the boot goes off with it. He grabs a small package on the confused Kurt (and wraps his feet around the ropes to cheat a bit) to retain in a brilliant ending.

Rating: A. Excellent stuff here. There’s definitely a story here with Eddie going move for move with Angle but in the end going back to his roots to pick up the upset. Also look at the intelligence that Eddie shows at the end by playing possum just like Kurt did seconds before to beat Angle as he goes just a step too far to retain the title. Go find this match and watch it. You’ll learn something.

We recap Taker vs. Kane. Kane had buried Taker yet again. This time it was over Taker turning into the American and ceasing to be a monster. I guess the tag title run they had together didn’t count? At the Rumble a Taker Gong went off to scare the heck out of Kane and the distraction let Booker put him out. This kept happening until it was announced his return would be here at Mania.

Undertaker vs. Kane

 

Yeah the build here isn’t quite as good as their first Mania match. Taker gets the full on Mania entrance, complete with darkness, chanting, fire, druids, and PAUL BEARER!!! Taker’s hair isn’t even to his shoulders here so the look is a bit off. Oh and he wears a cowboy hat now. Kane is all scared to death here and shouts that Taker isn’t real. He reaches out and touches Taker (there’s an old commercial in there somewhere) and Taker hammers away.

Kane hides on the floor and Taker starts his usual stuff. The ending is so obvious here it’s unreal. Some corner clotheslines put Kane down but the Last Ride is blocked. They mess up the reverse back body drop as they’re about three feet away from the ropes. Taker does some ground and pound but walks into a sidewalk slam. Top rope clothesline gets two.

They slug it out which of course Taker wins. Kane misses a charge in the corner and a running big boot puts Kane down. Old School is caught by a chokeslam and Kane stops to laugh. Taker sits up, Kane panics and I think you know what’s going to end the match.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. Taker completely squashed Kane here, which to be fair is more or less Kane’s job. Not much of a match at all although that’s what the people wanted I think. Taker has been the same character since this point for the most part and this was the beginning of the modern Taker.

We recap the Raw World Title match. HHH is champion, Benoit won the Rumble and should get the one on one shot. However, at the Rumble Shawn and HHH tied in a Last Man Standing match so Shawn says he should get another shot. Always thought that was ridiculous. Shawn had his chance, but he didn’t win. It shouldn’t be him again. Anyway he signed the contract anyway so Austin made it a triple threat. The video more or less shows Shawn as a heel because he just wouldn’t let Benoit have his moment.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

 

Surprisingly normal entrance for HHH here although he’s wearing white boots. We even get a weapons check which you never see anymore. Everyone goes after everyone to start us off here with Shawn avoiding a Crossface. HHH to the floor and the others slug it out. He comes back in when he thinks it’s best as we’re in a slow build here.

DX explodes for a bit and the fans think someone screwed Bret. Leaping knee gets two. Some nice tandem stuff lets Shawn hit a moonsault off the top to the floor to take everyone out. HHH and Shawn go back to the ring now with Benoit out on the floor. Facebuster to Shawn but he can’t hit the Pedigree as Chris saves. Shawn’s shoulder goes into the post and Benoit hits a snap suplex on HHH.

With Benoit in the Tree of Woe HHH throws Shawn into him in a cool spot. Shawn nips up so Benoit knocks him to the floor. Benoit hits Rolling Germans on the Game Shawn stops the headbutt and HHH takes him down with a DDT. Superplex by HHH gets two on Benoit. Make that three twos. The fans like Benoit here. Pedigree is reversed into a bad Crossface which Shawn breaks up.

Rolling Germans by Shawn are booed and reversed into a set by Benoit. Headbutt to Shawn gets two. Forearm and nipup by Shawn but there’s no one else in the ring. HHH comes in and gets beaten on for a bit. Elbow hits and the Band is Tuned Up. The kick connects but Benoit saves. Shawn vs. Benoit now with Shawn being launched into the post to bust him open. Terrible Crossface to Shawn and HHH grabs his arm before he can tap.

Benoit and HHH hit the floor for some brawling while Shawn is down. HHH sends him into the steps and preps the announce table. Just the Smackdown one though, not the Spanish one. Benoit, ever the traditionalist, puts HHH on the Spanish one. German is blocked as it the Pedigree. Shawn pops up and DX suplexes/drops Benoit through the SD table in a cool visual.

Back in the ring now it’s Shawn vs. HHH. They slug it out with neither guy taking over. HHH is sent to the floor and a cameraman is taken out. Ross wants an EMT for Benoit. HHH gets posted (without spam) and is busted as well. Pedigree out of NOWHERE is the counter to some punches. Somehow Benoit makes the save and the crowd pops like a cherry.

Benoit chops away but HHH grabs a Pedigree attempt which is reversed into a long Sharpshooter in an eruption. Shawn kicks Chris’ head off though which somehow only gets two. Ross’ voice is almost gone here. Loud Benoit chant starts up as Shawn Tunes Up the Band. Benoit backdrops him to the floor and walks into another Pedigree attempt. Benoit counters that into a Crossface with HHH in agony. HHH rolls backwards but Benoit hangs on and HHH taps, giving Benoit the World Title in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Rating: A+. Great match, everything clicked, absolute classic. There’s nothing else I can say here.

Eddie comes out to celebrate with Benoit in a classic Wrestlemania moment.

Overall Rating: B. This is good but the length starts to get old after awhile. At 4 ½ hours long it needs about an hour cut off to be a classic. Still though with two great world title matches and some other good stuff in there it’s hard to argue. Also we get a legit Mania moment to end the show which is never a bad thing. Good show and worth seeing, but be ready to fast forward some stuff.

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Monday Nitro
Date: March 26, 2001
Location: Boardwalk Beach Resort, Panama City, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

So in case you’re not getting the date or the significance, this is the final Nitro. Three days prior to this (or so) Vince bought WCW from Turner and the Monday Night War came to an end. In short, this is it. This is the end of WCW vs. WWF. Vince has won and everyone knows it now. As for the show, it’s being billed as Night of Champions, despite there being two title matches but whatever. This is an historic show and I remember being SHOCKED, so let’s get to it.

We open with Vince McMahon in the Raw interview area, talking about how he’s bought the company and its fate is in his hands. Tonight there will be a simulcast where he’ll explain things. This is bizarre.

Even their intro video sucked at this point.

Scott and Tony talk about how stunned they are about this.

And here’s Ric Flair. Oh this should be good. His hair being spiked is just wrong for some reason. He gives a very emotional speech, talking about how great his time in the company has been, which based on what I’ve read is nonsense, but he belongs out there on the final show and that’s all there is to it. Flair breaks kayfabs and says that Vince’s Dad voted for him to be world champion back in 1981. This is mainly about the holding the company in the palm of your hands thing. Flair makes one final request: if this is the last night, he wants Sting one more time.

WCW World Title/US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

This is title for title with Booker as US Champion. They slug it out in the middle and Booker hits a bit spinning heel kick to take over. This is outside mind you. We hear about how the US Champion is the #1 contender, which NEVER happened if you think about it, kind of making it a running joke. Midajah and her chest slaps Booker in the face.

Steiner swings a lead pipe at Booker but he hits the post instead in kind of a scary move. Scott moves onto a Bow and Arrow which doesn’t do much. A kind of botched dropkick and Booker starts his comeback. Ghetto Blaster (Axe kick) hits and we get a Spinarooni. Side Kick and it’s ALL Booker here. Book End is blocked for two. They’re FLYING through this. Book End is the counter to a powerbomb and it makes Booker the world champion again. Literally this didn’t break 6 minutes.

Rating: C-. Not terrible I guess considering they had to fly through this but there wasn’t much here. No one can beat Steiner in like 4 months and Booker does it in five minutes? They couldn’t give this a few more minutes? It was kind of a formality I guess but it just could have been done far better. Not awful though.

Vince blasts Panama City and WCW. Great to see that Vince spent millions of dollars on something that sucked.

3 Count vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Kaz Hayashi/Yun Yang

Winners get a Cruiserweight Tag Title shot later. Yang is more commonly known as Jimmy Wang Yang and a member of 3 Count is now Shannon Moore. Everybody does a bunch of flips and dives to the floor with no rhyme or reason to them. Yang sends Rey into the buckle and hits a huge corkscrew moonsault called Yang Time. This is under tornado rules apparently. BIG 450 from Evan Karagis but Kidman makes the save. For the finish, imagine Moore being in position for Orton’s DDT but turned face up. Rey hits a springboard legdrop on him there to end it. I didn’t skip anything in the description. It was really that fast.

Rating: C+. Entertaining match but at under four minutes how into it can you get? This was just to give the challengers a disadvantage against Skipper and Romeo later on. The spots were shaky but hey, it’s the last night of the company so who cares? Not bad but nothing we haven’t seen a million times before and better.

Trish brings Vince some champagne but they make out instead.

We recap the GREAT Chavo vs. Helms rivalry.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Shane Helms

Back in the dying days of WCW, one of the few things they NAILED was Chavo, who was absolutely awesome for about a year before the company closed. Shane has an intro with dancing girls a rap that he performs and lights. Shane was very popular as well mainly due to just doing awesome things in the ring. Nice belly to back by Chavo as the fans actually seem into this.

Tony tries to talk about how WCW has been about the youth. That’s just funny. Actually it isn’t, because having that not be the case is a big reason as to why the company died. High cross body from the top for the champion for two. T-Bone gets two. Ton of reversals into a Northern Lights Suplex for two. Very fast paced match here.

More reversals into the Sugar Smack (Superkick) and then the Vertebreaker is blocked. He can’t get out of the second one and it ends the match. That move is both awesome but also scary at the same time, which makes me understand why they wouldn’t let it be used in the WWF, as it was just too much of a liability.

Rating: B-. Again good match but at like four and a half minutes how into it can you get? Everything is in fast forward speed tonight and it’s kind of taking me out of the show. This is the polished up version of WCW since it’s not being treated like a serious company anymore but rather an All Star show, which helps it a lot I think. Nothing special here, but good enough.

Ad for Slim Jims with Randy Savage, who was out of WCW for about a year at this point if not more. Yeah his last match in WCW was in August of 99.

Remember the Titans is on VHS and DVD. That’s amusing.

Booker says he’s not done yet.

Tag Titles: Lance Storm/Mike Awesome vs. Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire

The more famous guys are challenging. Team Canada won a non-title match last week to get this. See, why is logic like that so complicated? That’s a basic story and it gives perfect justification as to why we are where we are here. After a quick break, Vince is with Trish again and Cole interrupts them. He says a bunch of WCW related people are worried and Vince threatens to fire Cole. PLEASE DO IT VINCE!

Storm of course starts with technical stuff. Tony almost says World Tag Titles but has to shift to WCW Tag Titles. Slingshot splash by Awesome for two. Hot tag to O’Haire and he beats the crap out of Awesome, hitting his weird reverse Samoan Drop. I could watch Lance Storm throw superkicks all day. Palumbo hits his Jungle (super) kick and the Shawnton Bomb ends it.

Rating: C-. I always liked all four of these guys so I was a fan of this feud. The match of course was really short so it’s kind of hard to grade, but at the same time this was ok I guess. It put the champions over and didn’t give us a title change for the sake of a title change, so I can’t really complain about that at all. Decent match but again nothing great at all.

Recap of Bigelow vs. Stasiak. Stasiak has Stacy and is doing something close to what Dolph Ziggler is doing at the moment. If he loses he has to get a tattoo.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They set this up last week so they have to throw it on here. Bigelow brings the tattoo kit with him. These two feuded for a few months and we were never told why they got so much time. I guess someone thought it was a good idea for some reason? Flying….something misses from Stasiak and Bigelow goes up for the headbutt. It hits but there’s Stacy to be hot. She interferes and a neckbreaker from Shawn ends it.

Rating: N/A. At least we got to look at Stacy.

Regal shows off his shirt to Vince. He tells Vince that it might be a bad idea to buy WCW. This was pointless.

We get a highlight reel of champions to play up the Night of Champions thing, which is always fun.

Vince says it’s just about that time.

Cruiserweight Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo

This was the final of the tournament to give us the original champions, 8 days prior. The announcers continue to insist how much WCW loves young guys. Romeo never did anything at all but Skipper wound up in TNA. Kidman and Mysterio I think you know of. Hot tags to Rey and Skipper as it’s pretty clear that this is going to be another 3 minute or so match.

Scott points out that the champions were just thrown together. Bronco Buster to Elix (really Elix?) and it turns into a huge mess. Rey with a springboard falling headbutt for two but Skipper makes the save. More near falls follow and Kidman gets out of Skipper’s Play of the Day and hits the Kid Crusher (Killswitch) for the final title reign in the history of the belts.

Rating: B-. Another 4 minute yet still entertaining match. I remember when the titles were announced that more or less no one wanted to see them but when did that stop WCW? This wasn’t anything special at all but it was pretty solid I guess. Skipper and Romeo were just thrown together and told they were the best team. The belts lasted 8 days so it’s not like they meant anything.

Sting cuts a very energetic promo about fighting Flair one more time.

Vince is walking down a hall.

Ric Flair vs. Sting

Something just feels right about saying that. Flair is in a t-shirt here, which is fine with me as if nothing else it makes him look decent. He looks skinny as a rail here. The announcers point out that Sting never jumped but Flair did. Not exactly but hey who cares about history right? They recap Flair vs. Sting which is always fun. Hudson tries to talk about how Flair vs. Sting went against Mania 4. What Hudson isn’t mentioning is how badly WCW got slaughtered as Mania 4 outdrew Mania 3.

Tony talks about how we’ve seen this match thousands of times. I was thinking more like 15 but whatever. There’s the press slam from Sting which never gets old. And there’s the Flair Flop which brings a smile to my face. This is more or less Sting vs. Flair’s Greatest Hits as they’re just doing their basic spots. Dropkick misses and it’s time for the leg. Figure Four goes on and Sting is in trouble!

Could he submit? Will he give up? For the first time ever will Sting tap out to Flair? If you don’t know the answers to those questions, just leave now as I can’t help you. Basic comeback occurs and there’s the Scorpion for the tap out. They hug as they should do to end this.

Rating: C+. Like I said this was just the short version of their match as they had no angle or time here, but this wasn’t supposed to be a major match. It was a feel good moment which is what it was supposed to be. Fine for what it was, which is the best description that I can give it.

I’m going to cut the review here, because at this point the simulcast begins and since I’m going to do the Raw from this night next I’ll just review it in there since it’ll be literally the same stuff.

Overall Rating: C+. Well the idea of the night of champions thing was good but the breakneck pace of the show made it rather annoying as there was just too much going on at once. It’s ok I guess but it’s not much more than that. It says a lot that one of their best shows in years had no context or angles worth anything to speak of. This was an ok show, which obviously should be seen for historical purposes. Decent show for what it was, but more important or history than anything on the card itself.

Wrestlemania 19
Date: March 30, 2003
Location: Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Ashanti

This show gets a lot of praise around here and I’m not entirely sure why. I’ve never been that enthralled by it, but maybe it needs another viewing. Your main event here is Kurt vs. Brock, which is simply due to Brock winning the Rumble and a solid build as you’re not really sure who the better man is. Brock is just past one year on television at this point and is going for his second world title.

To say he was dominant is an understatement. The real main event though is Hulk vs. Vince in a no holds barred match. It’s another instance of not putting the real main event on last, which is a shame as it got most of the buildup. Your midcard special is Jericho vs. Shawn in what was excellently built up as well.

We also get the third match in the Austin/Rock saga, which while still a big match, simply doesn’t have the big fire in it this time around. It turns out to be Austin’s last match as a regular. More or less that’s what holds this show back: the hype. The buildup was as good as any I’ve ever seen, but it wasn’t a mind blowing show. Let’s get to it.

Well done “it’s our World Series” package that never gets old, following Ashanti singing America the Beautiful which has been missed by me. The first problem with this show is simple: the theme song. Crack Addict by Limp Biskit. I never could figure out why they wouldn’t say the name of the song on television, but then it made sense.  Make your own PG jokes.

Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is dressed as Daredevil as he beging his tradition of being a superhero at Mania. Matt is in the middle of what was always one of my favorite stupid gimmicks: Mattitude V1.0. This involves him having fun facts pop up on screen during his entrance which is made to look like he’s on a website.  Today’s Mattitude Facts: Matt is appearing in his 4^th Wrestlemania and Matt often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him.

He’s also desperately trying to stay at the Cruiserweight limit of 220lbs, often with comical results. Matt is accompanied by Mattitude Follower (MFer) Shannon Moore.  Hardy used Disco Inferno method of Cruiserweight wrestling: Wrestle like a heavyweight and hope it works out for the best.  Moore distracts Rey to start but Matt gets backdropped to the floor.  Blast you little MFer.

Head scissors and a spinwheel kick put Matt down and set up an attempt at a sunset bomb to the floor.  Shannon makes the save and allows Matt to take over.  Shannon’s people are called Morons.  Taz and Cole make bad jokes about how Matt got his weight down using terms like banana juice, teabag and BJ.  You figure the rest out for yourself.

Matt locks in a bow and arrow to keep Rey on the mat for awhile.  A corner charge misses though and Matt goes into the post.  Seated Senton gets two for Rey and we speed things up a bit more.  Shannon breaks up the 619 and there’s the Twist of Fate for two.  The foul poles in the background take a bit of getting used to.

Matt tries Splash Mountain from the bottom rope but Rey reverses into a rana for two.  619 hits and it’s West Coast Pop time.  Matt ducks so Rey settles for a victory roll.  Hardy ducks into it ala Owen at Mania X and grabs the rope to get the win.  That was abrupt to say the least.

Rating: C-. Not a fan of the ending at all.  This was getting good and they cut the legs out from under it after less than six minutes.  I get why they had to do that as a lot of the matches are long but the pacing of the match could have been a lot better to make that ending not seem so abrupt and not to make this seem like a TV match.  Still decent though.

Time for our first bad celebrities as the Miller Light Cat Fight girls show up. They’re two hot chicks that fight over beer. Their limo couldn’t be tackier as it’s a long black limo with a sign on the door saying Catfight Girls. It just doesn’t look good at all. The dumb arguments start already.

We get a clip from earlier with Nathan Jones, Undertaker’s tag partner for later, being laid out by A-Train and Big Show.  This would be due to the fact that the company thought he wasn’t capable of being on live PPV with his skills at the time.  Shouldn’t they have noticed this before Wrestlemania Sunday?

Limp Bizkit performs Rollin live to play us to this.

Undertaker vs. Big Show/A-Train

This is Taker vs. Big Show for the 10^th time or so.  A-Train is there for no apparent reason other than to make us think Taker might have some issues here.  Fred Durst does not belong in the ring at Wrestlemania with Undertaker, period.  This is officially a handicap match now.  A-Train spits on Taker’s bike to distract him so Show can jump him.  This of course fails and A-Train takes a chokeslam for two as Show saves.

Taker hammers away at both guys and makes sure to stay out of the corner.  This was part of the A-Train’s push which I never quite understood but they were trying at least.  Taker busts out a leap frog of all things and there’s Old School to A-Train.  Derailer (Chokebomb) hits Taker but of course he doesn’t cover.  Instead he sends Taker to the floor so Show can ram him into the post.

There’s a flag on Undertaker’s bike which is due to his nephew serving in Iraq who the match has been dedicated to.  Show comes in and they slug it out a bit.  Taker really likes to punch doesn’t he?  Show’s chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara armbar and then into a cross armbreaker to A-Train.  Show drops a leg to break that up and rams some headbutts in.

Abdominal stretch goes on after all the head and neck work.  I guess Show is working on the ribs now.  A-Train comes in now and stomps away before putting on an abdominal stretch of his own.  Taker reverses into one of his own and that’s about the extent of his offensive run as it’s back to the beating again.  Train slaps him in the face because he’s not that intelligent.

Naturally Taker makes the comeback and hits a running DDT for two as Show makes the save.  Show is sent to the apron by the referee so Taker hits him anyway.  Here’s the comeback and the monsters are in trouble.  Big clothesline takes down Show.  And never mind as a bicycle kick takes his head off.  Chokeslam to Taker and here comes Nathan Jones.  He kicks Show in the aisle to take him down (shouldn’t that be a DQ?) and hits the ring.  Big boot to A-Train and the Tombstone ends this.

Rating: D. Can someone explain to me why this got ten minutes almost and the previous match couldn’t even get six?  Not much of a match and far too long for its own good.  Taker was never going to lose and everyone knew it, yet they let it go off even longer which didn’t help at all.  Jones was gone soon after this I believe.

Catfight girls run into the much hotter Torrie and Stacy.

We get a recap of the pointless Raw tag title match from Heat that leads nowhere.  That was on Heat and the Cat Fight girls were on here.  That’s life I guess.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Victoria

Jazz still isn’t cared for at all. As usual Trish looks great and gets the confetti for her entrance. Yeah, no guesses as to who is going over here. Victoria is champion coming into this and is in her total psycho phase here with the awesome T.A.T.U. theme music. I’ve always loved this character and throwing in that I always thought Victoria was mind blowingly hot isn’t hurting anything here.

Ross says that Jazz has a Mike Tyson like attitude.  Lawler says it’s a Mike Tyson like look.  Victoria has Steven Richards with her for no apparent reason.  Jazz jumps both of them quickly and sends Victoria to the floor.  She grabs a front facelock and flips forward to bend Trish in half with a facelock.  Trish gets a Thesz Press and poses a lot.  Victoria pulls her to the floor and we brawl out there for a bit.

Jazz vs. Trish in the ring at the moment with the less attractive one in control.  Double shoulder breaker to Trish so it’s Victoria vs. Jazz now.  Love that backless outfit on Victoria.  Lawler says Trish is like a quarter among pennies.  What the heck does that even mean?  Match is kind of a mess so far but it’s not horrible.  Powerslam by Jazz gets two on Trish.

The heels go at it again which Trish takes advantage of, ramming their heads together to take over.  Big spin kick by Jazz misses and Trish gets a rollup for two.  Chick Kick gets two.  Trish kicks Victoria to the floor as Jazz shouts a lot.  Half crab goes on and into an STF to Trish by Jazz.  Stevie intercepts Trish’s tap out so Victoria isn’t out.

Trish gets a rollup of Victoria and we get a nice shot as Trish pulls the tights.  Double chickenwing by Jazz to the blonde but Victoria takes Jazz down.  Moonsault misses though, but Victoria still sends het to the floor.  Stevie accidentally hits himself with a chair and takes a Stratusfaction for being an idiot.  Chick Kick to Victoria gives Trish the title.

Rating: D+. This was just your standard Women’s Title match and nothing more.  They’ve been the same for years and this was no different.  Trish gets the title back for a token title change and would likely hold it for a very long time.  Yeah that’s all I’ve got.  Oh and Victoria has a nice figure.

Rock is bitter about being booed last year against Hogan and has turned his back on the people. He’s obsessed with beating Austin in a big match, which I don’t think he ever has.  This takes way longer than it should have.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle vs. Rhyno/Chris Benoit

First fall wins it here as I continue to be amazed by how well Eddie suited his gimmick. While he’s not as great as he’s given credit for, he certainly was good. Team Angle is Charlie Hass and Shelton Benjamin by the way. Hass was supposed to be the breakout star at first but obviously after about two matches we knew that wasn’t going to happen. This is more of what we’ve seen all night long: a match that’s good enough to be a decent TV main event, but not WM worthy.  No point here other than for the titles to be on the line.

Team Angle has the titles here.  Benoit had a masterpiece with Angle at the Rumble but since a guy that was ridiculously popular and great in the ring clearly had no business feuding with HHH on Raw for the title (I mean we had SCOTT STEINER to do that) he was shoved into this pointless tag team and wasted most of 03 until he got so popular that he went to Raw the next year after winning the Rumble.

Big brawl to start as the referee tries to settle things down a bit.  Chavo and Haas finally get us started.  Haas tags out to Benoit and it’s Benoit vs. Eddie now.  This works for me.  To the shock of no one they hammer away on each other with neither guy being able to maintain an advantage.  They ram heads which allows Rhyno to be brought in.

Powerslam to Eddie gets two.  Benjamin comes in for the first time and works on the neck of Rhyno.  Chavo breaks up a pin attempt as this is just ok.  It’s like any match that could have been on Smackdown yet it’s here on Wrestlemania.  Benoit suplexes Haas for two.  We’re off to Rhyno vs. Benjamin now.  They’re tagging in and out quickly but it’s kind of keeping anything from getting started.  It’s been a random assortment of one on one matches so far.  Nothing bad but nothing that interesting.

Eddie dropkicks Rhyno to take over and it’s off to Benoit vs. Guerrero again.  Guerrero gets a belly to back and sets for the Frog Splash but gets caught in a superplex for two as Shelton saves.  Benoit fires Eddie into the air for a flapjack and pulls him down into the Crossface in an awesome looking move.  Haas breaks it up seconds later and then just leaves so the two masters can go at it some more.

Chavo comes in and cleans a lot of house.  His name being Guerrero kind of hurts him as he’s always in Eddie’s shadow.  Rolling Germans to Chavo but Chavo makes a blind tag to Shelton.  Superkick to Benoit gets two.  Eddie vs. Shelton at the moment so Shelton covers Benoit.  Frog Splash breaks up the pin though so it’s off to Chavo vs. Haas.  Haas suplexes him and gets Gored.  Gore to Chavo and Benjamin steals the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. It was getting a lot better at the end when they dropped the tagging stuff but this was a match that could have been on any Smackdown for the most part.  It’s good and definitely the best match of the night so far.  Still though, not much here but good stuff for what it was.

Torrie and Stacy argue with the Catfight girls over who made Mania, Hulk or Vince. This isn’t sexy or interesting, it’s just annoying at this point as the Catfight girls read from a script. Apparently this argument is going to be settled “in bed”. Lord help us all.  One of them keeps saying Holgan instead of Hogan.

From this thing on, everything is nearly 18 minutes long.

We recap Jericho vs. Shawn.  Shawn came back and won the world title.  Jericho ran his mouth so Jericho got kicked in the face.  He eliminated Shawn from the Rumble and vice versa.  Shawn was his inspiration apparently and wanted a match at Mania.  Jericho was walking through the curtain one night and something kicked him in the face.  Shawn came out and posed over him, saying he’d see him at Wrestlemania.  Jericho was evil here, putting Stacy in the Walls of Jericho and drilling Shawn with chairs.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn brings a confetti gun with him.  Oh ok he has them throughout the entrance to fire his own pyro.  Cute kind of.  Shawn gets pyro that goes around the back of the stadium when he does his in ring pose.  That’s pretty cool.  The fans are into Shawn of course as they have some mat stuff going on to start us off.  Shawn lays on the top rope which is something I always found funny.

Headlock takes Jericho to the mat and out he goes to the floor.  Shawn teases a plancha but Jericho sees it coming.  Shawn stops and goes with a baseball slide instead.  Back in a cross body gets two for Jericho as he rolls through Shawn’s move.  Jericho hammers away but can’t get the bulldog.  Shawn busts out a figure four and Jericho is in trouble.

After that doesn’t last long a headscissors puts Jericho on the floor, allowing Shawn to hit his plancha.  Jericho counters and locks on the Walls on the floor.  Shawn’s back goes into the post and HBK is in trouble.  Jericho gets another dropkick to keep Shawn on the floor.  Shawn’s back is the target now and it’s all Jericho.  The cocky pin doesn’t work so we go to the chinlock.

Shawn reverses a suplex into a DDT but he can’t get up.  Once he finally does, Jericho adds a forearm and the Nip Up.  Shawn Nips Up also and then does it again.  There’s the moonsault press for a long two.  We get the always classic pinfall reversal sequence, resulting in a Walls attempt but Shawn kicks him off instead.

Northern Lights Suplex gets two for Jericho but Shawn bridges up for a backslide.  Jericho reverses that and takes Shawn does to retain control.  Lionsault gets two and Shawn starts his comeback.  Rana misses though and it’s into the Walls for Shawn.  Shawn makes the rope but his back is destroyed.  Backbreaker sets up a top rope back elbow for no cover.

Instead Jericho Tunes up the Band.  A fairly awesome Sweet Chin Music puts Shawn down for two and Jericho isn’t sure what to do next.  Shawn gets a cross body out of the corner and some rights to buy himself some time.  Shawn teases the Walls of Jericho but goes with a slingshot instead, sending Jericho into the post.  Jericho tries a belly to back off the top but Shawn spins over into a cross body for a long two.

Shawn goes up and gets crotched via the referee being sent into the rope.  Superplex is blocked though as Shawn shoves him off and there’s the elbow.  Time to Tune up the Band again but the kick misses and it’s into the Walls again.  A rope is grabbed and Jericho tries to beg to the referee.  Chris walks into Sweet Chin Music though and down he goes but Shawn can’t cover.  Both guys are back up and Jericho sends him into the corner.  Shawn flips over and gets his feet under Jericho’s shoulders, rolling him backwards to end this finally.

Rating: A-. Definitely a great match, but not an all time classic. HBK shows he still can go at Mania and Jericho has one of the best matches of his life here as he’s totally into this. The only thing missing was the superkick to end it for Shawn, but this might have been better, not sure yet.

Jericho kicks Shawn in the balls post match, cranking his heel rating up by about 10.
Last month at no Way Out the show was in Montreal, there was a French ref that screwed Hogan out of the rematch with the Rock by helping Vince. He heads into Vince’s locker room.

Goldberg debuts at Backlash. That may have been the biggest flop in company history. It turns out he fought Rock in Rock’s last match before he left to make another movie, thereby more or less ending his time as an active wrestler.

New attendance record of over 54,000. Impressive again.

Limp Biskit performs AGAIN, and somehow the people couldn’t care less than they did the first time. This goes on 5 minutes.

Torrie’s Playboy came out two days later. We see clips of a news conference.  We get the Catfight between the Catfight Girls and Torrie/Stacy.  Coach gets stripped down to his underwear, as do the rest of the girls. Not a real match, not an interesting segment. The only thing good about this is Stacy’s Legs music which I always liked.

Time to talk about the Raw World title.  This show has been on for nearly two hours and this literally hasn’t been mentioned until now. There hasn’t been a graphic, there hasn’t been hype, there hasn’t been an interview. If that’s not proof that the title matches aren’t the biggest on the card, I don’t know what is.

The idea here is that they’re playing up Booker’s hard life growing up vs. HHH’s privileged lifestyle. Booker pinned him on Raw in a tag match. Nothing about this match screams Mania at all. Unforgiven or Judgement Day maybe, but not Wrestlemania.

Raw World Title: Booker T vs. HHH

Oh and Booker pinned HHH on Raw this past week.  I forgot about that but it’s not like it’s going to matter.  HHH has the purple tights on here too.  Poor Booker.  He actually thinks he has a chance here.  We hear about his hard life and how he worked his way up to become a 5 time WCW Champion.  Jerry: HHH told us how much of a joke that place was.  Ross: I worked in WCW.  You didn’t.  How would you know it was a joke?  Jerry: Was it a joke?  Ross: Darn right it was!  Too funny.

They slug it out in the corner to start with Booker having a slight advantage.  HHH actually goes up top and gets arm dragged down.  Out to the floor now and the champion goes into the post.  Back in and a clothesline gets two for Booker.  Now we talk about the Fink for no apparent reason.  HHH sends Booker to the apron and rams his head into the post to take over.

Jerry keeps making prison/court jokes about Booker.  Neckbreaker by HHH gets two and he lays in the shots.  The fans chant for Booker so HHH hits a spinebuster on him to quiet that down and get two in the process.  Big clothesline in the corner gets the same.  Suplex gets reversed and Booker hits a DDT and Lawler makes fun of Booker again.  Ross has to stop himself from saying GD which gets Lawler laughing.

Side slam gets no cover for Booker but a spinning forearm gets two.  Sleeper by HHH doesn’t work but a high knee does.  It’s been mainly the champion in control here.  Facebuster connects but HHH walks into a spinebuster for two.  HHH tries to go up again and jumps into a jump kick by Booker for two.  Axe kick and side kick misses, the latter of which sends Booker to the floor.

Flair drills Booker’s knee into the stairs to give HHH something to work on.  HHH busts out an inverted Indian Death Lock which you won’t see for years.  HHH, love him or hate him, is almost as old school as you get.  Off to a regular one as Booker is in trouble.  For those of you unfamiliar, the best way I can put it is a Sharpshooter with the legs instead of the arms and legs and less torque on the back.  It doesn’t matter as a rope is grabbed.

HHH tries to send him into the corner and Booker collapses.  Knee crusher is reversed into a sunset flip for two as the fans pop big for it.  Pedigree is countered but Booker is launched into the referee who stays down for about a second.  Must not have been planned.  Booker gets a jumping back elbow and his leg is fine now.  Scissors kick puts HHH down as now the leg hurts again.  That gets two.

Booker goes up but Flair interferes to let HHH get to Mr. T.  Superplex is blocked and Booker hits the Harlem (Houston here) Hangover for no count as Flair puts the foot on the ropes.  Naturally, as after all HHH isn’t allowed to lose the title for a very long time right?  Booker’s knee gives way and HHH hits the Pedigree.  Twenty five seconds later HHH puts his hand on Booker and retains.  Well of course he does.

Rating: C+. This was around the time that HHH was trying to expand his moveset to include things like the sleeper, Indian deathlock and DDT. They’re ok, but he wanted them as extra finishers and that just didn’t work. It was a very weird time in his career right now and this match it the crowning glory of that time. It’s clear here that Booker wasn’t going to win the title and was being fed to HHH. If you want to see the time where people say HHH was taking over the company, here is exhibit A.

WM 20 is going to be at Madison Square Garden. That is where it belongs.

We recap Hogan vs. Vince.  If Hogan loses, he retires…again. This is billed as 20 years in the making, despite this being the 19th year of Mania. The fight is over who should get the credit for Mania, both the Hulka and Wrestle varities. That’s a thread that was great when it was done and I’d like to see a replay of it.

Anyway, this is a street fight for obvious purposes. It’s also the match that sold this show, but in WWE logic, that can’t go on last of course as they didn’t learn from last year. While obviously this isn’t the entire story, the more I see of this the more I think Hulk should get more credit. Based on the video alone, this should be the main event.

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

Hogan comes out to Voodoo Child. Are you serious? WWE owns the rights to the most legendary theme song in wrestling history and they use Voodoo Child? The pop is barely even there which surprises me. The fans are into it, but there’s not much special.

To top it all off, he comes out first. Seriously? I know Vince isn’t a fan of Hogan’s but this is absurd. Once they say his name he gets a pop, but I really think the fans didn’t know who he was at first.  Hogan, nice guy that he is, rips up a Vince Still Sucks sign.To say McMahon is ripped is an understatement.

Hogan takes him down with a clothesline to start and we get some “ground and pound.”  Vince fights back and hammers away, working on the arm.  They’re moving incredibly slowly right now too.  The arm goes around the post as we talk about the steroids trial in the early 90s, which according to Stephanie was like 9/11.  Test of strength goes on and Hogan fights back up.

They ram chests like Warrior and Hogan but once again Vince kicks him in the gut to bring him back to his knees.  Vince having a muscular man on his knees.  Make your own jokes here.  Hogan fights up for the third time and gets kicked in the ribs again and sent to the floor.  Vince hammers away even more and has been in control the majority of the match here.

Chair shot to Hogan misses and Vince is rammed into the post instead.  The chair drills Vince as Hulk takes over for a bit.  Vince is busted open so Hogan hammers away.  Crowd is into this too.  Another chair to the back and down goes Vince.  Hogan misses a chair shot and the Spanish Announcer takes it in the head.  That’s what he gets for putting stuff on their table I guess.

Low blow by Vince shifts control again and he grabs the chair.  And now Vince sets up a ladder.  This cannot end well at all.  He sets it between the tables and Hogan is laid out on the Spanish Announce Table with a monitor shot to the head.  Vince climbs up, does the hand to the ear, and drops a leg onto Hogan, leaving both people laying.

After they lay around for about two minutes off of that, Vince rolls him back in and gets two for a big (although what should be an unsurprised) pop.  Vince’s face is creepy from that.  He goes under the ring and luckily finds a lead pipe.  We get the famous shot of Vince’s crazy/evil eyes as he slowly rises up above the apron to get back in.

Hogan, ever the hero, gets a low blow to make Vince drop the pipe.  A guy runs in through the crowd in a hood and pulls it off, revealing Rowdy Roddy Piper.  Well he belongs in the discussion I guess.  He picks up the pipe and drills Hogan with it, I guess being a heel.  Piper is fathere too.  Piper leaves and that gets two, putting us right back to where we were before Piper got here.

The referee steps on the pipe so Vince can’t use it.  It’s a street fight so anything goes right?  Vince drills him and waves down another referee.  He gets two: an actual referee and the aforementioned French referee (future tag champion Sylvan Grenier).  Another pipe shot and leg drop get two as Hulk Hulks Up.  Down goes the French dude to the power of AMERICA.  Hogan drops THREE leg drops and this is finally over.

Rating: B. While not the legendary classic it gets credit for, this was very fun indeed. Piper makes little to no sense to me at all here. Stupidly enough, it led to a feud between Hogan and Piper/Sean O’Haire. Really? Anyway, this was a very fun fight all day. I never really thought Vince would win, but it was fun to believe in him for awhile. Biggest flaw for me though: that freaking Voodoo Child song. HULK HOGAN’S MUSIC IS REAL AMERICAN. Anyone could tell you that. So freaking stupid.

Shane comes out to check on his dad.  Yeah that’s all he’s here for.  Seriously, he does nothing else.

We recap Rock vs. Austin.  What recap do you need here?  This match is the epitome of a grudge match. The idea here is simple: Rock has never beat Austin in a big match, namely at WM. He has done it all but defeat his arch rival and it’s killing him. This would have been so much more effective had it been 1-1 at Mania for them.

The problem for me was simple. So what if Rock wins? It’s still 2-1 Austin and Austin beat him twice for the title. That doesn’t exactly scream even to me. This is a weird thing to do here as Rock is finally (get it?) as big as Austin as far as star power despite Austin being so far past his prime he can’t even see it and Rock would be gone in a month, but he’s finally the true heel here and it’s one on one.

This whole match is built on Rock needing to win and getting more and more desperate to do it. They’re both nowhere near as good as they were 2-3 years ago, but they’re still very solid.

This gets the music video treatment but it doesn’t pack anywhere near the punch of My Way.

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

This is Austin’s last match as today.  Austin comes off his fourth corner and turns around to see Rock waiting on him.  This is the first time Austin came out second I think.  There’s the bell and these two at Mania just feel right.  They slug it out and Austin takes control, shocking no one.  Stunner misses early and we hit the floor.  We go to the Smackdown table with Austin beating Rock to death.

Rock goes into the steps and takes a belly to back suplex in the ring.  We get into the wrestler vs. actor debate which is rather interesting indeed.  This match has DQs mind you.  Rock gets a shot to Austin’s knee which I think is his first offense of the match so far.  Out to the floor again and Rock gets a second chop block to take Austin down.

After some more knee work on the floor Rock sends him into the ring again and stomps away.  Austin fires off some punches but lowers his head and Rock takes the knee out again to stop Austin’s momentum.  Sharpshooter goes on and Austin is in trouble.  Hebner is the referee so I’d listen for a quick bell.  Rock might take that….something or other to Hollywood and Vince might not get to make a bombing movie out of it.

Ross goes OFF on Jerry about talking about Hollywood so much.  Rock wraps Austin’s leg around the post again and throws on Austin’s vest.  Oh my stars and garter belts.  Austin fights back and it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down.  Back up and they slug it out with the knee seemingly fine again.  I guess that’s a Texan thing.  Thesz Press and Austin hammers away.

FU Elbow gets two, probably because it’s just an elbow drop.  Austin stomps a mudhole but Rock hits a clothesline and nips up.  Austin gets a Rock Bottom out of nowhere to the Rock as he’s still in the vest.  That gets two. Stunner is blocked but Rock gets the Stunner for two of his own.  That should be a scoring system in the event of a tie.

Rock hammers away but the final punch misses and it’s a Stunner by Austin for a long two.  Austin tosses the referee away to get to Rock but Rock gets a low blow and it’s time for the People’s Elbow.  Austin moves out of the way but can’t get another Stunner.  The second People’s Elbow (minus the jacket) gets two, likely because it’s just an elbow drop.

Both guys are spent and Rock is getting up first.  The fans are all over the Rock here.  Rock Bottom hits but only gets two and a big pop.  Rock is stunned.  See what I did there?  Another Rock Bottom somehow gets two and Rock doesn’t know what to do.  A third Rock Bottom FINALLY ends Austin and the Rock has finally gotten the win at Wrestlemania over Austin.

Rating: B+. This is a tricky one.  It’s a far cry from their epic wars before and is a joke compared to their match two years ago, but this was a different kind of match.  I shortchanged this before but this is a good match.  Rock was the star here, which granted has to do with him being 30 and Austin being 39 here.  They beat the heck out of each other and while Austin was a shell of his former self he was still good here.  Good match and a good way to close out Austin’s career.

Austin gets the big sendoff as I think it was kind of understood that he was done at this point.

We recap Angle vs. Lesnar.  Lesnar won the Rumble to get here and Kurt is champion.  Kurt had thrown Team Angle at Lesnar a bunch and kept ticking Lesnar off, including switching places with his brother to get a pin on Brock in a title match.  This is more or less a dream match and if anyone interferes, if Kurt gets counted out or disqualified, he loses the title.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

And here we are. FINALLY it’s the last match of the show but the fans are so drained they don’t even know what’s going on anymore. Kurt had reinjured his neck but instead of being out for a year and you know, really getting it fixed, he got a quick fix, resulting in him likely being on the verge of death every time he gets in the ring. There was a real chance this was his last match.  Cole’s voice is almost completely gone here. Lesnar of course has a rib injury. My goodness when did he not have a rib injury?

Brock debuted the night after Mania the year before (which was in mid March but we’ll call it a year still) so this is an incredible rookie year for him.  We get both of their resumes and they’re incredibly impressive to say the least.  Tito Ortiz is in the front row.  All of a sudden a lot of the ground and pound and submission stuff just got a lot funnier.

Shocking no one they go to the mat and technical stuff early.  It’s so weird to see guys that are awesome at what they do with that stuff and have it look this good.  Angle tries the headlock but Lesnar easily overpowers him.  Kurt is moving very gingerly here.  Brock fires off those shoulders in the corner and gets a powerslam for two.

Angle snaps off a suplex but Brock is right back up almost immediately.  Out to the floor with Kurt trying to run.  By the power of Akbar though, IT’S A TRAP and Kurt drills Brock as he comes in to take over.  Brock is like screw that and gets a gorilla press to take over again.  Angle Germans Brock into the buckle in an awesome spot.  Brock gets pounded down on the floor for a bit.

Belly to back gets two in the ring.  A vertical version of it gets two as well.  Kurt grabs a modified STF that has Brock in agony.  It shifts off into a chinlock as Angle loses the leg hold.  Modified camel clutch now which furthers the pain in the ribs.  Can’t say Kurt doesn’t have psychology going for him.  Brock stands up and rams Kurt’s back into the corner to break the hold.

Belly to belly by Kurt reinjures Lesnar’s ribs as does a knee to the back.  A second sends Brock to the floor.  Back in Angle runs into a spinebuster Brock comes back and hammers away with the power but runs into an elbow.  BIG belly to belly sends Angle flying as does a second one.  Those get two and probably another neck surgery for Kurt.

Angle grabs Rolling Germans out of nowhere, each time landing on the back of his head and neck.  This time it’s 4 suplexes though and both guys are spent.  Neither finisher can hit with the F5 being countered into the ankle lock.  That gets shifted to the half crab which is probably a stupid move by Kurt given the position he had Brock in.  Cole’s voice is gone.  Get that man some tea.

Kurt charges but gets backdropped to the floor to give Brock a chance to breathe.  Brock takes over but Angle gets one HECK of a German suplex, flipping Lesnar onto his stomach in the air for two.  There go the straps and the Angle Slam hits, naturally, for two.  Cole says that’s the first time anyone has kicked out of it.  Something tells me that’s nonsense.

Brock counters another Slam attempt into a small package that Taz calls a Spladle or something like that.  Yeah it was a small package.  F5 out of nowhere gets two as the crowd is finally into this.  Ankle Lock goes on and gets the grapevine.  Wow so someone actually did escape this.  Ankle lock is avoided, as is the Slam.  HUGE F5 puts Angle down, but Brock goes up instead.

We now get the sickest looking spot in a good many years at any show as Lesnar, weighing nearly 300lbs and being dead tired goes to the top rope. Now when I originally watched this, I had seen Lesnar down in OVW use a shooting star press and it was the best  thing I’d ever seen in a wrestling ring, but there was no way I could ever believe he would throw one out at Wrestle-freaking-mania.

Of course he did though, but he shows why he shouldn’t, as he under-rotates and lands on his head. I don’t care who you are, that is sick looking. Luckily Angle is smart enough to cover him here to keep the match going. Right there, if Lesnar had gotten pinned I don’t think anyone would have been able to say a word to him.

They show the replay from another camera angle and you can hear Taz absolutely freak over it. That was indeed one of the sickest looking things I’ve ever seen. Lesnar hits another F5 and gets the win. Post match, Lesnar’s eyes show that he is absolutely gone. He has no clue where he is and it looks bad. Angle shakes his hand and fireworks play us out.  Clearly not the planned finish but they did what they could and it made sense given the circumstances.

Rating: A-. These guys nearly killed each other, literally. One of those suplexes goes bad and Angle dies, Lesnar nearly killed himself on the ending. This was a great match though, but the ending just stops it in its tracks and it really hurts things. Had that landed, this is a definite A. It’s certainly worth watching though.

Brock is handed the title and is absolutely gone.  I doubt he knew his name at this point.

Overall Rating: B. This went back and forth for me. It’s definitely good, but it’s far from great. It ended well with the face taking the gold like he should have, but the booking for this show was absolutely terrible. What this show desperately needed was a first half main event. Look at your final five matches: HBK/Jericho (best wrestling on the card by far), HHH vs. Booker T (Raw Title), Street Fight (the real main event), Austin/Rock (no explanation needed) and Lesnar/Angle (SD Title).

You can clearly see the problem. There’s no chance at all to catch your breath here and it’s very draining. A filler, like say Taker’s match in between there somewhere and another like the triple threat tag match, or even the Raw Tag Titles from Heat would have nearly saved this show. Maybe a segment or something like that also. Either way, the second half of this show is WAY too packed and it hurts things badly. The show is good, but I’d watch it out of order. Recommended, but not as great as it’s made out to be.

Smackdown
Date: March 25, 2011
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

After last week’s awesome show we’re here at the last real show before the big one.  Next week is going to be a clip/review/highlight show which I can’t say I blame them for.  I’d want to get to Atlanta as intact as I could also.  Probably more with Alberto vs. Christian/Edge tonight which I really hope doesn’t turn into a triple threat at Mania.  Anyway let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event inside the cage and the big beatdowns that followed, one to Edge and one to Christian.  Edge has a bad arm now due to Del Rio and his Conchairto to the arm.

Edge is complaining to Teddy about the injuries.  There’s been a ruling apparently that Edge thinks is geared towards Alberto.  Teddy insists it’s in the best interests of the company.  Edge can’t touch Del Rio and vice versa or they’re both off Mania.  The classics never die.

Theme song hits.  Get your reinforcements.  And get a new joke for me because that one has gotten really old.

Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk

 

Not a bad way to start things off.  This is another Wrestlemania Rewind match.  We hear a lot about Cody, more or less saying he’ll be making an appearance in this match.  We get a clip from the bus incident from Monday which is just a failure.  This feud started out white hot and is now awful.  Wow we’re only 9 nights away from Mania.  That’s awesome.

Punk takes him into the corner and stomps away to start us off.  Rey speeds things up a bit and gets a headscissors to send Punk into the 619 position.  Big swinging kick to Punk’s head gets two.  Springboard cross body misses and here comes Punk.  They’re going through the motions here which is rather odd from these two.  Can Booker say anything besides “almost got him right there”?

Abdominal stretch goes on which doesn’t last long as Punk is sent out to the floor.  Rey jumps on his shoulders but is launched ribs first into the barrier.  Back with Punk in control in the ring with a body scissors.  Punk uses various offense on the ribs which makes perfect sense.  The fans chant 619 and Punk smiles.  Cross body gets two for CM.

An attempt at a second cross body off the top eats a dropkick though and both guys are down for a few seconds.  Rey uses some leverage to send Punk out to the floor and hits an Asai Moonsault to take Punk down.  And just as it was obvious about, here’s Cody to send Rey into the post for the DQ at 5:30 shown of 9:00.

Rating: B-. This was good while it lasted but the length and the ending hurt it a bit.  They started off going through the motions but it got better after the break.  See what happens when you put good workers together and give them a few minutes?  You get a pretty good match.  What are the odds of that?

Cody beats up Rey post match and exposes a metal knee brace which he rams into the head of Mysterio to leave him laying.  Nice little touch of continuity there.

Edge is in his locker room when Christian comes in.  Christian isn’t sure that Edge fighting Drew McIntyre later is a good idea.  Edge says it’s cool and that he’ll be in Christian’s corner against Alberto.

Undertaker responds to HHH later tonight.  Dude can they do ANYTHING but respond to each other?

Edge vs. Drew McIntyre

Both guys have cool music.  What in the world happened to Drew?  He was the hottest thing in the world what, six months ago?  Tiffany better be awesome in bed to cost him this much of a push.  Edge stomps a Canadian mudhole into Drew but Drew goes right after Edge’s arm like a smart man.  The psychology has been good here tonight.  After some more work on the arm, Drew goes up and Edge is able to pull him off.

So much for the momentum though as Edge can’t use the Edgecution.  That’s a good thing as instead of just shaking his arm, Edge is selling the move to the point that he can’t use his offense.  Little things like those make a big difference.  Futureshock is reversed by a backdrop and it’s the Edgecator (the kneeling Sharpshooter hold) for the tap out at 2:25.  No rating but this was fine.  Edge spears Drew post match.

The Taker/HHH video from Smackdown eats up a few minutes.

Kelly Kelly/Rosa Mendes vs. Laycool

 

Laycool is dressed up like Snooki including the hairdo.  The non Flawless girls take then down and it’s a big brawl to start.  This is totally nothing as it’s more or less just a quick brawl with Layla beating Rosa in 1:08 with the Layout.

Laycool runs down their Mania opponents and say that Snooki may be famous but she’ll never be *fist pump* flawless.

We recap Corre vs. Show/Kane last week and the big beatdown.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett

 

Kofi fires off some strikes and gets two off a dropkick.  Lots of early covers by Kofi here.  Corre is outside the ring, meaning in this match we have: a guy from Ghana (Ghanan?  Ghanian?  I’m really not sure what the right term is there), an Englishman, a South African, a South American and an American.  It’s remarkable how international WWE is getting, including people like Sheamus, Mason Ryan and Sin Cara.  Good idea too.

Kofi tries to go to the middle rope for something with his back to Barrett but gets kicked off as Barrett takes over.  Big boot puts Kofi on the floor.  That looked great.  Boss Man Slam gets two and it’s off to a bow and arrow.  Middle rope elbow misses for Barrett and here comes Kingston.  The cross body gets two and there’s the Boom Drop.  He sets for Trouble in Paradise but Corre distracts him.  The delay doesn’t really work as Kofi fires the kick but Barrett ducks and catches Kofi on his shoulders for the Wasteland.  That was awesome looking and it gives Barrett the title at 5:10.

Rating: B-. I like Barrett’s in ring style and this was a good example of that.  He mixes things up out there and it works rather well when he gets to use his various stuff.  Most importantly though: this gives Barrett something.  He hadn’t won anything since the first season of NXT and now he has something concrete on his resume.  That’s been lacking for him so I’m well pleased here.  Pretty good match too.

Alberto wants to hurt Edge but Teddy says he’s not allowed.  Albert says Teddy doesn’t have the guts to ban him from Mania.  Teddy says there have been 26 Wrestlemanias without Del Rio and Teddy can make it 27.  That was a good comeback actually.

Cue Undertaker with the Johnny Cash music so I guess it’s staying.  He stays on the stage to address HHH.  Taker says the more things change, the more they stay the same.  HHH thinks he can break the Streak, which is what everyone has said.  Taker says that soon HHH will learn he can’t do it.  This is all going to be said to HHH’s face on Monday.

HHH’s number is coming up and everything goes on the line at Mania.  That number is nineteen.  Good ending to the promo, but good grief I could not be less hyped about this match if I tried to be.  The lack of contact has really hurt it a lot.  Also the lack of an actual reason for them to fight.

Jack Swagger vs. R-Truth

 

We get a clip from Monday of Swagger beating up Lawler.  Truth’s singing sounds off.  Cole goes into full on psycho heel mode here as we get going.  Belly to belly by Swagger gets two.  Cole and Booker get into a cheerleading contest as Swagger takes over.  Truth pulls the top rope down and a charging Swagger hits the floor.

Truth seems to be limping a bit and he dives out to the floor.  He’s clearly not on full strength as that dive was weak looking and he landed on his shoulder it seemed.  Back in the ring and Truth goes up, only to get dropped and have his leg caught in the rope.  Swagger gives Truth’s leg a DDT and the ankle lock ends it at 2:50.  Cole talks about being in a dojo with Swagger which freaks Booker out.  Just a glorified squash for Swagger here.

Cole “raps” to Truth post match and runs him down.  He and Swagger take a victory lap.  That’s going to be an epic beating when it finally happens.  I’d love to see an army of people come out and hit their finishers on him like what happened to Bischoff at the first One Night Stand.

We see the ending of Raw with the Miz/Cena segment which was great.

That transitions into running down the Mania card.  Del Rio’s graphic has him in a robe kind of thing.  When has he ever been in that?

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

 

There’s a ton of time left in the show here so this could be long.  I think it’s a Mercedes this week.  Brodus and Edge are the seconds here.  Solid pop for Christian.  Christian gets the clapping going and it’s time to go.  Shoulder gets two for the Canadian.  Alberto gets Christian in the corner and stomps him down but is backdropped over the corner and out to the floor.

Big cross body takes Del Rio down on the outside as we take a break.  Back with Christian getting a sunset flip out of the corner for two and Del Rio hits the floor.  Baseball slide misses and Del Rio shoves Christian into the barrier to take over again.  Fast paced stuff here.  Arm bar goes onto Christian which doesn’t last long.

Senton back splash off the middle rope gets two for Del Rio.  Armbar again doesn’t stay on long as Christian is put on the mat.  Edge distracts Del Rio a bit and Christian gets a rana off the second rope for two.  Christian starts a comeback but a top rope cross body misses.  The corner enziguri misses and Christian gets a tornado DDT for two as Ricardo puts the foot on the rope.

Edge goes after Ricardo but it’s Brodus with the save.  Cross armbreaker is attempted by Del Rio but Christian flips into the Killswitch.  That gets countered also and Del Rio hits an enziguri to put Christian down for a long two.  Crowd is way into this.  Cross armbreaker goes on but Christian grabs a rope.  Both guys are down as Edge spears Clay and pops him with a chair.  Christian reverses the armbreaker into the Killswitch to end it at 8:49 shown of 12:19.

Rating: B+. Good stuff here indeed as again you give two guys time and the match works much better.  The arm was the story throughout the match and in the end another attempt at going for it cost Del Rio.  Good match here but I do kind of question Alberto losing back to back matches mostly clean in a row heading into Mania.

Christian pops Del Rio with a chair since Edge isn’t allowed to, ending the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Another strong outing from Smackdown this week as they go into Mania on a high note, yet with almost none of the focus being on them as usual.  It’s really starting to get awkward with Christian as he’s been in the main event scene the entire time for this feud yet he doesn’t have a match at the PPV.  I don’t want a triple threat though as we need a one on one match for the title.  Very good stuff here and my faith in Smackdown is restored.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered

Edge b. Drew McIntyre – Edgecator

Laycool b. Rosa Mendes/Kelly Kelly – Layout to Mendes

Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Wasteland

Jack Swagger b. R-Truth – Ankle Lock

Christian b. Alberto Del Rio – Killswitch