Monday Nitro #1
Date: September 4, 1995
Location: Mall of America, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Eric Bischoff, Steve McMichael, Bobby Heenan

So nearly three years after Raw got going, WCW woke up and realized that being on Saturday nights at 6:05 for your flagship show was freaking STUPID so they decided to go head to head with Raw by debuting Monday Nitro. Their first episode aired when Raw wasn’t on that week which really was the right thing to do when you think about it.

It’s just one hour tonight for no apparent reason, but they manage to pack a good bit in here, including a very important thing that I’ll get to later on. This is a show I’ve seen at least 5 or 6 times so I remember it being not bad. Let’s see how it was.

I always liked the intro video for Nitro as it was a street more or less blowing up with pictures of wrestlers and a great song. It really was cool and I liked it better than Raw’s for a long time. I don’t think anyone knew who McMichael was outside of Chicago, but when did that really bother WCW?

Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Brian Pillman

I can’t wait to do SuperBrawl 2 as their match there could rival Bret vs. Owen for beat PPV opener ever. Liger is just coming back from a broken leg so he might be a bit rusty, meaning he’ll be better than 95% of the wrestlers in the world. Naturally, they start off hot. This is another one of those pairings where it’s hard to mess it up. We’re two minutes in and Mongo and Heenan are already calling each other names.

This could be a really long night. Eric is pitching the company like no other which is fine here as it might be the first show for a lot of viewers. We get the surfboard which is a move that I always mark for. Bobby has a great line: “I never go surfing. I always have people do it for me.” I love that. McMichael is trying but he’s just lost out there. For the life of me I have no idea why they thought he was a good idea.

Liger gets a hurricanrana from the top rope which was a move that no one had seen for the most part. And no, the Frankensteiner doesn’t count as it’s nowhere near as fast or as crisp. These two were WAY ahead of their time out here as the Cruiserweights wouldn’t rise to prominence for over a year. Out of nowhere, Pillman hooks a rollup for the pin.

Rating: B. This is based on being the first match in the new era of the company. They set the pace for the show as they had a fast paced and exciting match. What else can you ask for from a debut match? These two simply didn’t have bad matches, which makes sense given their talent and styles.

Sting is ready for Flair.

WCW Hotline ad.

Ad for Batman Forever for the SNES. That game SUCKED. You use Down + R to use the grappling hook yet X and Y aren’t used at all. See the problem?

We come back from break to see…hang on I need a moment here. Ok I’m good. We come back to Hulk Hogan at Hulk Hogan’s Pastamania. Hulk Hogan had a pasta restaurant in the Mall of America, complete with a dish called Hulk A-Roos. You can’t make this stuff up at all. He cuts a generic promo but the kids around him are loving it. The guy was great with kids, I’ll give him that. This was one of the biggest jokes in wrestling history though, but it did show how huge and mainstream Hogan was.

US Title: Sting vs. Ric Flair

I’ll give Nitro this: they got the card spot on for the first show. You have a cruiserweight match that’s going to be awesome and was, you have this which is more or less impossible to screw up, and Hogan vs. a big man in the main event. They played things safe here and that’s all they needed to do. And now we get the defining moment for Nitro until Hall showed up: Lex Luger walks down the aisle and stares at Sting and Flair.

Now that doesn’t sound very interesting does it? The thing you have to remember, Luger had been in a WWF ring wrestling the day before. This was the first big shock and since the internet was more or less a non factor for the most part back then, this was a shocking thing. No one knew this was coming and it really did set the tone for Nitro and WCW in the future as Luger was immediately in the main event picture.

The announcers have no clue what to say to this and even though Bischoff knew it was coming, he’s playing it off well. Sting was the perfect choice to put on the show here as he had the speed, the power, the mat wrestling ability, the look, the charisma and the talking ability to be remembered really well. He didn’t have to do much as he hits his third gorilla press, but the crowd is eating it up. Why mess with what works? Make that four of them.

His strength is overlooked quite a bit. We go to a break and when we come back we have a wide shot of the Mall and it looks VERY cool. It’s a three story mall and you have all kinds of people shopping around and we just happen to have a major wrestling show going on. Arn Anderson walks out as Sting misses a splash. Arn and Flair had been having a lot of problems lately and would finally fight at Fall Brawl.

They play up the shock value to a T here about Luger and the unpredictability aspect of the show. Sting hits a top rope suplex. The announcers’ reactions: Bischoff says the ring moved two feet, McMichael says his monitor nearly fell off the table and Heenan says his monitor went black. I wish I was making this up. Flair gets the figure four but Arn comes into the ring for the DQ and he and Flair go at it.

Rating: C+. Again, this is hard to get wrong. It wasn’t one of their better ones, but it wasn’t supposed to be. It got them in front of a TV camera and showed the fans what they had coming. This was a lot like the debut of a new promotion in a lot of ways as no one really knew what to expect here.

They kind of had to restart a lot of things in the early weeks to give the people a feel for what they were all about. The match was fine and they did their regular good stuff, but this was about angles and not the match and that’s fine.

Scott Norton comes out to yell about not being on the show despite having a contract. Savage comes out to yell at him. They set up a match for next week. It’s so adorable that Norton thinks he means something outside of Japan.

Sabu is coming. Dang it.

Some guy from Alabama wins a sweepstakes. This took 10 seconds of ring time.

Ad for Saturday Night, featuring a double main event: Johnny B. Badd vs. Dick Slater and Sting and Macho vs. the Bluebloods. And people wonder why the fans were very happy Nitro debuted.

Mr. Wallstreet is coming to WCW. It was IRS going JBL’s gimmick. This went badly. He even mentions the IRS. Seriously?

WCW Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Big Bubba Rogers

Rogers is Big Boss Man’s 15th or so gimmick. We go to a commercial before Hogan’s entrance and we get a SLIM JIM AD! Oh and there’s one for Hot Pockets too. Jimmy Hart has stars and stripes pants and a jacket. He looks like a walking barber pole. The fans are going nuts for Hogan if nothing else. What are you expecting here?

It’s Hogan vs. big man 101, Like I said earlier they’re playing it very safe and that’s fine. Bubba gets in his offense and Hogan makes a comeback and slams him before the leg drop ends it in about five minutes. A clean pin on Nitro. That won’t happen that often.

Rating: C. It’s exactly that: average. There was nothing special here but it wasn’t unwatchable or anything. No one was expecting an epic showdown here as it was just Hogan defending his title in a token title defense. Nothing wrong with that.

The Dungeon of Doom which had been feuding with Hogan hit the ring and Luger makes the save. Macho and Sting show up to calm them down. This would be your main event at Fall Brawl. Sting, Hogan, Luger and Savage vs. Shark (Earthquake), Zofdiac (Beefcake) Meng and Kamala. I wonder who wins that.

We go to commercial and see an ad for the Muscular Dystrophy Association which sponsored Fall brawl for some reason. That’s just odd. There’s also an ad for the Eagles vs. Cardinals game. DAng that would have sucked.

Luger says he wants a title shot. Hogan says sure but says he’ll be champion forever and a day. I love delusions of grandeur that almost came true. They make the match for next week and that’s it.

Overall Rating: B+. For a debut show, this was great. They advanced a lot of stuff and set up next week and the future pretty well. With only an hour they did quite well but remember there was no Raw tonight. The ratings were good but they lost for a good while. The wrestling was ok and we got three kinds of matches and angles were advanced so I’d say very good job here. Things would get far worse for awhile though.

NXT
Date: February 22, 2011
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Todd Grisham

This is the last elimination before we get to the finals which I think are next week but I’m not entirely sure.  I’m not sure who goes home tonight but hopefully it’s Curtis.  No idea what to expect on tonight’s show as they’ve had a match where everyone competes so maybe it’ll be more pro vs. rookie matches.  Let’s get to it.

Curtis and Truth open us up and Truth tells us that none of the Pros are going to be there tonight.  They trade clichés about being alone and Curtis says he’s a one man wolf pack tonight, complete with a howl.

Ricardo says some stuff in Spanish to Brodus and then in Spanish says Brodus is on his own tonight.

Nothing from Bateman and Bryan?  Ok then.

Into the arena we go with Striker bringing in the rookies.  Oh sorry I fell asleep when Curtis was on my screen.  I’m back now.  There appears to be a finish line in front of them.  Next week is the final apparently.  You can still earn immunity for tonight though.  At the moment Clay has 5 points and the others have zero.  There are two challenges tonight and the first is the Grace Under Pressure Physical Challenge.

First up they play beer pong, then build a tower according to a picture with blocks, then they have to flip a cup then fourth they have to use chop sticks to put a set of dice in the right order.  Wait did I wake up or not?  Curtis goes first and the booing is insane.  The cup flip thing is you put it on the edge of a table and have to flip it so that it lands upright.  Curtis takes 1:19 flat.  I stopped watching Wrestlemania 22 for this?

Bateman is second and is booed out of the building for sucking at beer pong.  Apparently Bateman used to work at Build-A-Bear Workshop.  When he’s building the tower he asks “What am I doing with my life?”  He messes up the tower and has to keep at it.  Time passes and they let him finish.  The time isn’t shown and does it matter anyway?

Brodus says set it up right because you’re not playing any okeydoke on him.  No clue what that means but ok.  Brodus outsmarts beer pong by throwing like 10 balls at once.  He aces the tower build to a big pop.  However he sucks at flipping cups and of course Curtis wins.  If you care for some reason his time was 1:46.1.  Curtis has 3 points and I really hope this isn’t what I think it’s going to be.

There’s a triple threat match later.

The Mania video helps a bit as we’re 40 days away.

And there’s the Chaperone trailer to further kill my spirit.

Brodus Clay vs. Johnny Curtis vs. Derrick Bateman

 

Clay’s stomach says WHEE now.  The other two try to jump him which gets Bateman thrown over the top and Curtis pounded down for his effort.  Nice suplex puts Curtis down.  Brodus looks rather uncomfortable with basic offense.  Tongan Death Grip goes on but Bateman pops up with a dropkick to take him down.  The final challenge is also worth three points and Curtis could get immunity.  Well of course he can.  He’s the least interesting so like AJ last Naomi last time he has to make the final right?

They double team Curtis again with chops and kicks.  Again, this completely fails.  Todd says that Brodus is ready for prime time, more or less admitting that the rest of this is pointless.  The two non-Broduses clothesline Clay to the floor and Bateman is tossed out.  Curtis is alone in the ring (drawing dead silence) and dives out with a tope con hilo, landing on his feet.  If he had hit more than their hands it would have looked better but at least he tried.  This takes us to a break.

Back with the two smaller guys hammering on each other.  Bateman breaks Curtis’ momentum and hits a running dropkick on Clay.  Clay wakes up and hammers down both guys.  With Curtis choking him in the corner the camera tilts up at Brodus’ face and it’s a frightening sight indeed.  Clay gets a Fisherman’s Suplex on Curtis as we really need to end this now.  They’ve been out there over ten minutes and it’s clear they’re running out of things to do.

Brodus covers Bateman and Curtis hits the guillotine legdrop to the back of Clay for two.  Cover to Bateman gets two as well.  Clay sets for his T-Bone to Curtis but gets double teamed for about the third time.  A double suplex to Clay actually works and then Curtis suplexes Bateman onto Clay and gets the pin on Bateman at 11:00.  Dang it he’s going to win isn’t he?

Rating: C. This went too fast and I really don’t like Curtis winning but the match was ok.  They gave them some time and while it was maybe a minute or two too long, this was still pretty good for what they were going for.  I have this bad feeling Curtis is going to win it though which is the worst possible outcome but it’s been set in stone since the beginning of the season so I’m not really surprised.

We replay Cena’s promo on Rock last night to kill off about ten minutes.  During this we see Rock’s promo from the week before.  So we’re seeing a flashback to a flashback?  There’s a zen riddle in there somewhere.  The Tooth Fairy line still cracks me up.  I love how there has to be a graphic on the screen telling us this was on Raw last night so we don’t think Cena showed up on NXT.  It says a lot about Cena that he has the crowd in the palm of his hand after coming out to a very mixed reaction.  The line about Rock saying he loves them and Cena being there every week to show it sums up this entire feud.

Talk the Talk is next.

Curtis starts us off and thanks the fans for the pleasure of being here.  Could the flat out say “Vote for Curtis or we’ll murder every puppy in the world” any better?  Bateman says he’s the Sacramento King of the competition.  That’s booed for some reason.  He says he has, eats, sleeps and breathes “it”.  Clay, getting a big pop, gives shoutouts to his friends and family.  You can’t see the mic cube in his hand.  He says the west coast is awesome and all that stuff.  Curtis is booed, Bateman is booed and Clay wins (thank goodness!), making him immune.  This was really short.

Bateman is gone.  Blast it.  Is anyone really surprised by this?  He says it’s particular (yes particular) to be eliminated.  He says he’s proven his worth and he plays it rough except for “Sacramenento”  (yes he said it wrong).  Clay drills Curtis to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well as unhappy as I am with the ending, this was a pretty mediocre show.  The match was just ok and the challenges ranged from stupid to short.  The Cena promo is easily the best part of it which isn’t saying a lot.  Big drop off from last week but at least Clay is in the finals like he should be.  Thankfully this ends next week.

Results

Johnny Curtis won the Grace Under Pressure Challenge

Johnny Curtis b. Brodus Clay and Derrick Bateman – Curtis pinned Bateman after suplexing him onto Clay

Brodus Clay won the Talk the Talk Challenge

Derrick Bateman was eliminated in third place

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 21, 2011
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

We’re 41 days away from Wrestlemania and the first stop on the real Road to Wrestlemania is here in Fresno.  The main event on the Raw side is Cena vs. Miz which does sound like a big match if done right.  WWE has a lot of momentum right now with a good show last night, Rock’s return last week and the arrival of whoever 2-21-11 is about tonight should mean this will be a big night for WWE.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of a clock counting down to 2-21-11 which is set to end in roughly an hour.

Theme song.

Cena opens the show and says what a day and what a crowd.  There’s a Rocky chant as he gets ready to talk.  The fans seemed to be split when he came out but cheering more for him than booing.  He won the Elimination Chamber last night and is going to Wrestlemania.  Last night should have been a fun night filled with wine, women and song, but this isn’t your typical night.

Since last week he hasn’t been hearing about the Miz or the Elimination Chamber but rather about alleged comments Rock made about him.  People have been asking what Cena is going to say about the Rock, but Cena isn’t sure what to do.  He was planning on just letting it go because it’s the Rock.  We look at the footage and Rock’s face on screen gets a big old pop.

We see the clip from last week of Rock ripping Cena apart for the catchphrase and the hand gestures and the colorful shirt.  Rock said he’ll see Cena at Wrestlemania.  Cena says that Rock was making fun of him and Cena should probably say something right?  There’s only one way for Cena to call someone out but he hasn’t done it in a long time.  However, he still has a degree in Thuganomics.  If he doesn’t take care of this tonight he can’t focus on Wrestlemania.  This is a one time only thing.

After a brief warmup he’s in a Fresno State (location of the show) of mind and he gets out the chain.  I won’t try to put what he says here but his great line is “I was speaking the truth.  You left us all hanging to play a fairy about a tooth?”  Cena is like a big purple pinwheel Rock so go ahead and blow him.

There’s a Witch Mountain/Brokeback Mountain joke in there as Cena is ripping into all of the movie titles of Rock.  The fans are into this it seems and definitely aren’t booing.  To close it out he said we couldn’t see Rock for seven years but Cena is here every week to show what the fans mean to him.  Find this online as Cena completely owned Rock here.

Cole is going to interview King later.

Morrison vs. Punk next.

46 minutes left in the clock.

John Morrison vs. CM Punk

 

Morrison can barely walk and do his pose due to the knee injury last night.  Punk is limping as well.  This is one of the best rivalries in years in WWE.  Think back to how many times they’ve fought over the years.  Morrison hammers away in the corner and Punk is in trouble to start.  He slips to the floor though and rams Morrison’s knee into the apron to take over.  Punk is moving much better than Morrison here.

Punk busts out the Haas of Pain of all things.  It’s like a Sharpshooter but Punk is laying next to Morrison and puts his foot on the crossed legs of Morrison and bends Morrison back.  Morrison gets out and fires away again.  And never mind as Punk gets a kick to the knee and the GTS ends this clean at 2:57.  That came out of absolutely nowhere.

Rating: C+. Considering the injuries and the psychology here this was good enough to warrant a rating.  Punk looked good and it doesn’t really hurt Morrison that much since you had Morrison all banged up out there.  Decent match and something I’d love to see more of with these two both healthy.

Post match Punk talks to Randall Keith Orton about how Punk is right here and waiting on Orton.  The New Nexus has the night off and this isn’t a trap.  Everything is about choices.  Today these people bought a ticket to see Punk.  In September of 2008, Orton made a choice to punt Punk in the head and cost him the title.

He points at the Mania sign and says that Punk isn’t going there because Punk is going to hurt him.  Orton needs to walk away and not be here next week or Punk will hurt him.  Cue Orton through the crowd and Punk runs.  New Nexus comes out but Punk shoves them away and a stand off takes us to a break.

 

Here’s Ricardo to introduce Del Rio for his match.  As Del Rio is doing his entrance, Kofi jumps Alberto.  There was a bell before Del Rio came out and a referee is out there so I’m assuming this is a match.  They never get into the ring though and Del Rio puts the Cross Armbreaker on the heavily bandaged arm and leaves Kofi laying.  I guess this wasn’t a match.  Kofi gets up and Del Rio jumps him again and Kofi is in trouble.

Miz is up next as we have 23:30 to go in the clock.

Here’s the WWE Champion to talk about the Rock.  He talks about remembering Rock ripping people apart time after time and was thrilled to hear what Rock had to say about him.  The best Rock could do is say that Miz sucks?  Really?  Really?  REALLY?  He’s heard better from kindergarteners.  Let him wipe his tears in his championship gold.  Miz doesn’t care what the fans think of him and he’s the most must see WWE Champion there is.  This was a lot better than it sounds.

We get an E-Mail which says enough about the Rock as the GM will deal with Rock when the GM is ready.  We get a Rock N Sock Connection reference and tonight the tag titles are on the line with Corre vs. Miz/Cena.  Please…..not this angle AGAIN.

Back with I kid you not George Washington vs. Abraham Lincoln.  Cena does a run-in to beat up George Washington.  It’s for the WWE All-Stars game if that makes you feel any better.

Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Gail Kim

 

Fast paced brawl to start with Gail dominating.  Nice cross body by her gets two.  The other Bella pulls Gail off the apron and it looked like her head slammed into the floor.  This is a very aggressive match.  Eve comes in and does the standing moonsault for two as the other Bella distracts her.  Rollup by Eve doesn’t work as Twin Magic occurs and one Bella pins Eve at 2:30.  This was nothing.

Less than three minutes and we take a break.

Back with the countdown starting at 25 seconds.  We see shots of the house and the crowd counts it down as the door on the house is opened.  Yep it’s Taker to almost no one’s shock.  Still cool though with Johnny Cash playing him to the ring.  There’s the gong and the place lights up.  Big explosions and Taker’s symbol hangs over the ring.  He takes the hat off, AND IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!!!  HHH is back too!

He does the corner pose and Taker stares him down.  HHH looks over his shoulder and the music ends.  BIG HHH chant starts up.  They get nose to nose and HHH looks at the Mania sign.  Then Taker looks at the Mania sign.  Taker….smirks at HHH and puts the hat back on.  Deadman turns his back on the Game as the sign hangs over both of them.  Taker turns to face the Game and gives him a throat slash.  Not a word has been said this whole time.  HHH holds up his arms and does the crotch chop.  They stare down again and we go to a break.  Cool segment.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

 

They brawl to start and Henry grabs a bearhug and throws him to the floor with ease.  Very slow and lumbering match here as we’re back in the ring.  Slingshot shoulder block gets two for the king.  Henry rams Sheamus into the corner to take over.  A splash misses and Sheamus kicks him in the chest.  Sheamus pulls the turnbuckle off and Henry rams him into the exposed buckle.  World’s Strongest Slam ends this at 3:50.

Rating: D-. It was slow, it was stupid, it was lumbering and this gets us….where?  Nothing special here at all and granted it didn’t help to have to go on after the double return like that.  Yeah I’ve got nothing else to say here.

Miss USA is going to be on Tough Enough.  I give up.

Daniel Bryan and Gail are in the back but Sheamus comes up to get in his face.

The latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame is Hacksaw Jim Duggan!  This works fine for me.

Cole is here to talk to Jerry Lawler.  They can’t fight or they’re both fired.  Oh and Cole reminds us again that he’s a journalist.  The interview is next.

Here’s Lawler and Cole’s first question is what was it like knowing that last night was his big night.  Jerry says nothing.  How did it feel when he realized his dreams were going to be shattered and he was going to lose to the awesome Miz?  Did that mean maybe Cole was right and that it was time to retire?  Jerry says nothing.

What was it like when you were laying on your back and you realized that your deceased mother, no disrespect, had the best seat in the house and that your Wrestlemania dreams were over, how did you feel when you realized you let your mother down?  Jerry grabs Cole by the coat and says if Cole ever mentions his mother again it’ll be the last thing Cole ever says.  He’s had enough of listening to Cole.

Jerry says he’s going to Wrestlemania and he’s issuing an open challenge: Lawler vs. Cole.  Cole calls Lawler senile and runs back to the announce desk.  Lawler says be a man and show us what you’ve got.  Jerry asks if Cole is a coward and Cole takes his jacket off and throws his drink in Jerry’s face.  Cole runs into the crowd and Jerry is ticked.

Tag title match next.

Tag Titles: The Miz/John Cena vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

 

According to Josh this is unprecedented for some reason.  Miz vs. Slater to start us off.  All Miz so far as he beats on both Corre members.  Cena responds with a golf clap and is tagged in to a good pop.  Back off to Miz as the champions have had nothing for the most part.  There’s the Skull Crushing Finale and it’s over in 3:12.  What the heck?  Uh…ok then.  No rating due to the length as it’s 10 minutes til 11:00 so there’s a lot more to come here.

Barrett says hold it as the Corre is invoking their rematch clause right now.  An E-Mail says ring the bell.  The match starts post break.

Tag Titles: The Miz/John Cena vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

 

Back with the match already in progress and Miz holding a wristlock on Gabriel.  Cena comes in as does Slater.  Cross body by Cena gets two and it’s back off to Miz.  The WWE Champion is knocked to the floor and Corre holds Riley back so Miz can be beaten down by Gabriel.  Slater gets two on Miz.  Off to a chinlock by Slater which gets him nowhere.  It’s weird seeing Miz as the defacto face.  Neckbreaker by Slater gets two.

Gabriel in now but Miz fights him off and hits that knee to the back/neckbreaker combo.  He can’t make the tag though as Slater is tagged in for the save.  Miz still can’t make a tag and Gabriel throws on a headlock.  The crowd is WAY into this too which is making things a lot better.

Gabriel is sent to the apron and tries to come in off the top.  He jumps into a big boot though and Cena wants a tag.  Ask and ye shall receive as it’s Cena vs. Slater now.  Cena initiates his ending sequence and there’s the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and FU.  Actually it isn’t as Miz shoves Cena over with something like the Skull Crushing Finale and Slater gets the pin  to regain the titles at 12:00!

Rating: C+. Better formula match here and it worked pretty well.  I had a feeling they were going to do the switch right back and I’m glad they did.  This worked rather well and it sets up more of the world title feud between the two.  Good stuff here and the whole segment worked rather well.  Also very good that they didn’t go with the predictable ending.

Overall Rating: A-. First and foremost, those people complaining about the lack of wrestling here need to shut their mouths.  They’re completely missing the point of this and don’t even bother trying to compare it to Impact last week.  This was about building to Mania and it did that in spades.  The point was completely different and if you didn’t like what was done tonight that’s fine.  However, it wasn’t the same as what they did there and this is an instance where the lack of wrestling can be excused to a degree.

As for the show itself, this was a drama/storyline building show and it worked very well in that regard.  Cena responded to the Rock, we set up Cole vs. Lawler, Miz vs. Cena got development, two major stars returned to set up their big match at Mania and we might have a midcard feud developing with Sheamus vs. Bryan.  That all happened in two house plus more stuff.  I disagree with what they had go on last, but this was a huge show and it came off like a huge show.  Well done indeed.

Results

CM Punk b. John Morrison – GTS

Bella Twins b. Eve Torres/Gail Kim – Small Package to Eve

Mark Henry b. Sheamus – World’s Strongest Slam

The Miz/John Cena b. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel – Skull Crushing Finale to Gabriel

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater b. John Cena/The Miz – Slater pinned Cena after a Skull Crushing Finale

During Undertaker’s entrance Time To Play The Game hit and it’s time for a staredown.  Nothing was said but they both looked at the Mania sign.  Taker did the throat slit and HHH did the crotch chop and the show went to a break with them staring each other down.

Thoughts?

No shock here but this is fine.  It’s the Undertaker being back for Wrestlemania.  I fail to see the bad in this.

Also, don’t complain about it not being Sting.  The only people that are complaining about that are the people that convinced themselves it was him.

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 13, 1997
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another special Raw show called Thursday Raw Thursday.  This was another special request and my first one through e-mail actually.  Anyway the idea here is that there’s either tennis or the stupid dog show on Monday so Raw is on Thursday this week.  Don’t ask me why they say the day twice but it’s Vince so I think that explains it.  This is famous for two reasons: Rock vs. HHH in a LONG match (for the time frame) and this is where Shawn lost his smile.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on Shawn who is vacating the title, meaning that the winner of the Final Four this Sunday will be the new champion.  The opening video is about Sid vs. Shawn which was supposed to be the rubber match tonight.  Naturally they say Thursday Raw Thursday about a million times in between this.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. HHH

 

HHH is champion here and Rocky is a glorified rookie.  Also tonight there’s Sid vs. Austin and Bret vs. Vader.  For no apparent reason Undertaker is fighting Savio.  This is live it seems.  It’s still Hunter Hearst Helmsley here so there’s no HHH name yet.  The curtseying future Game gets a hip block to start us off and is very confident.  They do some nice mat stuff which I’ve never seen before.  They have some leg locks and head scissors with impressive counters.  Cool stuff.

Off to a chinlock by HHH here but Rocky fights out and hits a dropkick to send him to the floor.  A charge misses and Rocky hits the post.  Back inside with HHH working on the arm.  Rocky fights up but HHH gets a single arm DDT for two.  Some chops hit in the corner as we take a break.  Back with HHH still in control and just going OFF on Rocky’s head with right hands.

Honky Tonk Man comes out for some reason.  He was looking for a protégé or something like that.  He wound up picking Billy Gunn who became Rock-A-Billy as one of the dumbest gimmicks of all time.  HHH has dominated the vast majority of this with a jumping knee to the head and then a sleeper.  Rocky tries to reverse into a sleeper of his own but gets rammed into the buckle.

Rocky starts his comeback with right hands (called a chop by Vince for no apparent reason).  Top rope cross body, more or less Rocky’s finisher, is rolled through by HHH for two.  Facebuster sets up a neckbreaker by HHH for a close two.  HHH is getting frustrated.  Piledriver gets two AGAIN as Vince and Jim can’t believe it.  Superplex gets two and no one knows what to think.

HHH sets for the Pedigree but Rocky can’t stand up long enough for it to go on.  Rocky falls flat on his face and is more or less dead.  Honky shouts ROLL HIM OVER!  HHH finally tries to do just that and gets rolled up by Rocky for the pin and the title in perhaps the biggest upset of all time up to that point.

Rating: B-. This was good but it’s really just Rocky hanging in there until the end for the one small package to win the title.  That being said, the resilience thing with HHH being all stuck up and not going for the kill when he could have makes this work more than it should.  Also it’s Rock vs. HHH so it’s hard not to like it at least a little bit.

Rocky cuts his best Boy Scout promo after the match, saying he’ll make his fans and family proud.

Ad for Final Four which was a great main event.

Here’s Sunny, poured into a little white dress.  Ah she’s ring announcer.

Headbangers vs. Bob Holly/Aldo Montoya

 

Montoya is more famous as Justin Credible.  We see some clips of some WWF guys on a country music show.  Road Dogg got to sing his song on there and Hillbilly Jim played some guitar.  Also there was a “match” with the Godwinns vs. Jarrett/the host.  Who thought this was a good idea for a match?  Mosh vs. Holly to start us off.  Holly doesn’t so much do things well as much as he doesn’t do things well.

In case you can’t get it, this is a terribly boring match.  It’s not that it’s bad but there’s no point to having it and yet it’s here anyway.  We’re talking about Shawn Michaels anyway which is far more interesting so that helps.  I mean really, does anyone want to watch these four guys have a match?  The announcers aren’t paying a bit of attention to this which I can’t blame them for at all.

The Headbangers hit a double Gordbuster on Holly as they take over.  Yeah I don’t care about this match at all either.  The idea is that Shawn might have to have reconstructive surgery.  In reality the knee was slightly injured but he could have gone without the surgery but that would have meant losing the title at Mania which he just wasn’t going to do.

We might have talked about this match for 20 seconds combined of four and a half minutes.  Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Montoya.  We’re talking about Brett Favre now.  I can’t escape this guy.  Finally the Headbangers win with a powerbomb/leg drop combination.  Sunny says Mosh and Thrash just won.  Even she wasn’t paying attention.

Rating: D. The match was ok I guess but at the same time this was one of those times where no one cared in the slightest and everyone knew it.  WWF in 97 was just bad at some points and this is one of them.  Who in the world thought this was something people would want to see?  Bad match, but now let’s get to something that matters.

Vince introduces Gorilla Monsoon who is going to accept the WWF Title from Shawn Michaels.  Shawn limps out and is very sad.  Here’s the basic idea: Shawn was supposed to return the favor to Bret and lose the title to him at Mania 13.  However Shawn didn’t really want to do that and “hurt his knee” and couldn’t do it.  He claimed the doctors said it could be career ending when it was really minor.  In short, Shawn didn’t want to lose so he forfeited the title and was back in the ring by May.  This is the famous Lost My Smile speech and not a lot of the guys in the back bought it to put it mildly.

Shawn gets all teary eyed and talks about his body being beaten up and all that jazz.  HUGE We Want Sid, the guy that might have been winning the title that night depending on who you ask.  No one has had to endure the schedule that Shawn had over the years etc.  This is rather sickening knowing what’s actually going on here.  Do I think he was hurt?  Yeah he was somewhat hurt but at the end of the day he was looking out for himself here far more than anyone else when Shawn as a heel could have worked very well but he was afraid of doing it.

He talks about how he’s not going to be around the title for a long time.  The doctors aren’t sure where his knee is and he may be beyond reconstructive surgery at this point.  Shawn talks about riding in leer jets and limousines as I have a feeling like I’ve heard this before.  You also have to remember that the WWF was in real trouble at this point and had it not been for Austin they would have been dead.  He hands the belt to Monsoon and says he’s going back home.  Shawn says that somewhere along the line he lost his smile.  Oh dear.

Overall my thought on this is Shawn knew what was really going on and he put his ego over the fans, the company, the title and the rest of his roster.  He had no problem taking all the benefits of being champion but didn’t want to do the harder parts of it (like losing) and that to me isn’t right.  The fans were mixed to put it mildly on this.  This would have been fine at its time, but given that he would be back before the summer kills any sympathy this would have had.

Savio Vega vs. Undertaker

 

Savio turned heel recently and joined the Nation.  Taker was feuding with them for lack of anything better to do.  He would win the title at Mania so it seems like he got noticed.  After a break we’re back with Taker destroying him.  The announcers talk about Bret vs. Vader but it’s not as bad as it was in the tag match.  Why in the world am I watching Savio Vega vs. the Undertaker?  Who thought this was a good idea?

Taker hits a big boot and stumbles back from it.  Leg drop gets two on Savio.  Not yet Old School hits as this is one sided for the most part.  There are still tickets available for the PPV in Chattanooga.  Savio gets a low blow and a set of clotheslines to get two.  The other members of the Nation interfere a bit as we’re waiting for Taker to end Savio.

The fans chant rest in peace.  My goodness how nice does it sound to be able to take a nap and let someone else do this?  Or just to not watch this at all?  Savio gets a spinwheel kick to put Taker down for two.  Since that’s his finisher the rest of the match is pretty predictable.  Taker is finally bored with all this and hits a chokeslam to end it.

Rating: D-. Oh dang it all this was boring.  Nothing at all was going on here and it never got interesting.  It’s nearly NINE MINUTES LONG.  Why in the world did this need nearly ten minutes?  It’s Undertaker vs. Savio Vega for crying out loud.  Boring match and one of the least interesting things I’ve seen in a good while.

Nation attacks, Ahmed saves, Nation lackeys are hurt.

Psycho Sid vs. Steve Austin

 

After Austin’s entrance, Gorilla says that the four guys have a golden opportunity on Sunday.  Sid will get his title shot and will get it against the winner of the Final Four match this coming Monday.  Sid would face Bret and win the title.  Sid was mad over to say the least.  Austin jumps Sid to start and the fight was on.  Jerry picks Austin to win the title on Sunday.

Austin kicks Sid low and does Sid’s taunts as this is a total battle from the bell.  Fans are TOTALLY behind Austin which is saying a lot considering how over Sid was at this point.  Austin sends him into the post and takes him down in the ring with an elbow.  This is pre-neck injury for Austin so he’s a completely different guy than the brawler he would become.  Abdominal stretch by Austin but Sid gets a sleeper.  And never mind as Austin suplexes him almost immediately.

Off to a front facelock so they can call some spots.  JR says it’ll be Austin as well on Sunday while Vince says it’ll be Sid.  You know, the guy that isn’t in the match Sunday?  Sid hammers him down and misses a legdrop so Austin tries a failed Sharpshooter.  Big boot takes Austin down and then Bret comes out to fight Austin and it’s a DQ win for Stone Cold.

Rating: C+. This was a brawl with the fans telling you a lot about what they wanted.  You had a crazy dude in Sid and Austin being the anti-authority figure that everyone wanted to see.  Thankfully Vince listened and everything turned out well in the end.  This was a fun brawl and that’s all it needed to be.

Bret and Sid fight while Austin laughs.

Vader stumbles through an interview where he says he’s beaten everyone in the Final Four match recently.

Lawler talks about sending his mom money for Valentine’s Day.  This is being written on the night Lawler faced Miz for the WWE Title at the Elimination Chamber where Lawler was talking about his mother passing away the previous week so that’s kind of sad to hear.

We replay part of the Shawn speech about losing his smile.  Did you check under that copy of “How to Fake a Knee Injury?”  When Vince hugs Shawn you can see him thinking “You bastard!!!”

Tag Titles: Farooq/Crush vs. British Bulldog/Owen Hart

 

Bulldog and Hart had the titles forever in one of the longest title reigns in history.  No one since has had a longer WWF/E tag title reign that I can remember.  That doesn’t count the Smackdown tag titles made in 2002 mind you.  Owen vs. Crush to start and the Canadian gets a cross body for two.  Over to Bulldog as Crush throws Owen around a bit.

We take a break just after Farooq tags in.  Vince says that if anything significant happens while we’re gone it’ll be shown.  Nothing is shown so that means nothing of note is happening during a title match.  That sounds like blasphemy to Vince to me.  Owen and Bulldog had been having issues lately and they do here as well, resulting in Bulldog being in trouble.

Bret is watching the match and says that what Shawn said was sad.  We got split screen to do this of course so we can barely see the match.  Bulldog is getting beaten down here if you’re curious.  Bret says that there’s no way around Vader so Bret will have to do something different than he did last time when he lost.  It’s Hitman Time, not Vader Time.

Ah hey it’s the full match rather than the split one.  Owen starts a Bulldog chant even though the Bulldog is getting crushed out there.  Hey that was funny and wasn’t even supposed to be!  I kill myself sometimes.  Crush gets a bodyscissors.  Vince: “Speaking of body scissors, how would you like to be bodyscissored by La Femme Nikita, coming up next on USA!”  That man is a natural salesman if there has ever been one.

The fans chant what sounds like Bulldog/Owen but it’s not really clear.  Maybe if it was in a town bigger than Lowell, Massachusetts that would go a bit better.  Bulldog reverses a bearhug with a belly to belly but can’t get a tag.  Owen gets tagged but it’s not seen in a classic tag team move.  Smith finally gets an enziguri to bring in Owen who cleans house.  Missile dropkick to Crush gets two and it all breaks down.  We hit the floor and Owen might have injured his knee.  Injured or HBK-ified, it’s good enough for the count out to end this.

Rating: D+. I just wasn’t feeling this one at all.  The idea was to plug the whole fighting amongst themselves champions and while that happened this felt rushed and a big forced.  Not a terrible match but it just kind of came and went.  The knee injury never went anywhere that I can remember.

The Nation beats down Bulldog post match while Owen tries to fix his knee.  Bulldog helps him out but Owen limps back to get the belts.  That’s nice subtle heel stuff.

Vader vs. Bret Hart

 

Main event time here.  Before we get started though Taker comes out to watch.  Oh and he’s got a loud mic.  He hates to interrupt but Taker gets no respect anymore.  This is a very un-Deadman like promo.  He’s talking fast and sounds more like Biker Taker than Deadman Taker.  Vader jumps Bret as Taker leaves and Hart is in trouble early on as we take a break.

Apparently just after they went to a break Austin came out and stomped on Bret some before being sent to the back.  Vader goes up and Bret catches him in a POWERSLAM???  WHAT THE HECK ???  Bret pounds away and gets a terrible looking Russian Leg Sweep for two.  It might have helped if he actually, you know, swept the leg?  BRET SLAMS VADER!!!!  WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I WATCHING?????  He picked him up like he was a cruiserweight and just turned him over for a slam like it was nothing.  WHAT THE HECK?????

Bret can’t get the Sharpshooter.  Well I guess he was in Power Bret mode or something.  Dude Bret Hart slammed Vader.  I can’t get over that.  Why not a belly to back suplex too?  Bret is throwing Vader around like he weighs 180.  Bret low bridges Vader and there’s the Sharpshooter but Vader grabs a rope.  Austin pops up in the balcony to yell at Bret and Vader drills the Canadian from behind.  Vadersault misses and Bret gets the easy pin to end the show.

Rating: D+. Not bad but it was ok I guess.  I really can’t get over that slam.  Bret Hart just picked Vader up like he was picking up a Slurpie.  This was just a match to set up the PPV for the most part with nothing special going on at all.  Austin’s interference felt rushed as did Taker’s at the beginning.  Either way the match at the PPV was great.

Overall Rating: C-. Well there’s certainly a lot of history here but the delivery isn’t that great.  Shawn’s speech doesn’t really mean a lot anymore as he more or less just took a vacation.  This wasn’t that bad though and considering the card had to be shuffled earlier in the week as did the PPV, this was pretty solid.  Not great, but good enough for what it was.

 

Here’s In Your House if you’re interested:

 

It seems that way at least.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

The Miz vs. John Cena

Thoughts on these?  Think they’re good or bad?  Other options you’d like?

Elimination Chamber 2011
Date: February 20, 2011
Location: Oracle Arena, Oakland, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the final major stop on the Road to Wrestlemania as tonight we more or less set the main events in stone.  The title matches are the Smackdown Chamber match which has an open spot and Jerry Lawler vs. The Miz for the Raw Title.  It blows my mind that there’s an actual chance that is somewhat open for debate about who wins.  Also there’s the Raw Chamber match and that’s about it.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about what you would expect: it’s a video of how the Chamber is the big diabolical (their word not mine) turn on the Road to Wrestlemania.  This is another of those shows where the big match sells itself and there’s not a thing wrong with that.

The set has what looks like the side of a Chamber in front of the Tron.  Yeah that’s not a bad idea at all.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

 

Not a bad choice tos tart with but I’m so used to the Chamber starting us off that it’s a bit surprising.  Ricardo gets in a jab at the Raiders which is rather easy to do to be fair.  Alberto says that he’s committed to excellence unlike the people from Oakland.  Commitment to Excellence is the motto of the Oakland Raiders if that line makes no sense.  Tonight six men fight for the chance to face him and there’s nothing they can do to stop him.  Kofi’s music finally cuts him off.

This is non-title mind you.  Josh talks about Alberto taking liberties on Horny while Horny was blindfolded.  You can make your own jokes there.  We get an Alberto chant to start and a basic back and forth sequence to start.  Alberto is sent to the floor where Ricardo plays nurse as well as he can.  Kofi tries something on the apron and is rammed into the post to soften up the arm.

Body scissors by Del Rio who has a big chant going for him here.  Belly to back gets two for Alberto and it’s back to the body scissors.  Kofi fights back and gets a spinning flying forearm off the top in an awesome looking move.  They fight from their knees up to their feet and Kofi chops away.  Boom Drop hits but Trouble in Paradise misses.  Pendulum kick hits but the cross body is countered into a knee that might have been into the arm or ribs but it wasn’t clear.

Del Rio tries a superplex but Kofi fights him off and gets a missile dropkick for a close two.  It’s always cool when it looks like the referee threw his shoulder out on the two counts.  Del Rio gets something close to a GTS but instead it ends with a double knee to the ribs.  That only gets two and Kofi counters what looked like a big atomic drop into a DDT.  Ricardo distracts though so it’s only two.

The Armbreaker can’t go on as Kofi grabs the rope before it is applied.  SOS gets a very close two.  Booker is totally behind Kofi but says he’s trying not to be biased.  Kofi jumps at Del Rio in the corner but misses and Alberto gets a nice neckbreaker for no cover.  Cross Armbreaker is attempted but Kofi locks his hands to avoid it for a bit.  And never mind as it goes on and Kofi taps.  Alberto’s face is hilarious.

Rating: B. This is the kind of win that Alberto needs.  Kofi can afford some losses like this as Del Rio’s star is rising rapidly.  Also he didn’t get destroyed at all as he got ripped off by Ricardo a bit.  This worked rather well but is something you could see on a lot of Smackdowns for free.  Still good though.

Orton is ready.

Edge says he’s had a bad week and now that he has to walk into an Elimination Chamber after a week with Vickie, it seems like a walk in the park.  Drew McIntyre comes up and asks about the casualties like Kelly.  Edge says that Kelly and the title have something in common: neither will ever be seen with Drew.

Video about the Chamber which makes me think we’re getting ready for a lumberjill match.  What?  You don’t see the obvious connection there?

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Wade Barrett vs. ???

 

Remember that we have an extra spot open in the Chamber due to Dolph having been fired.  Kane comes out first and therefore is in a pod to start.  Drew is out second and therefore will be in a pod as well.  The first four will be in pods which means we get to see who the final guy is rather soon.  Barrett is in third.  We hear about his bare knuckle fighting experience which makes me ask again: has he ever used said skills to win a match?  Also Cole thinks Barrett is from Eastern Europe instead of Western.

Here’s Teddy Long when we’re ready for the fourth person.  He’s here to introduce the next participant I guess.  Here’s the replacement: It’s Big Show which is kind of what I expected when he came out there.  Rey vs. Edge to start.  Five minute periods as always with the last man standing winning.  Every five minutes another comes in.  Edge and Rey start off kind of slow which makes perfect sense as they want to maintain energy.

Edge sends Rey out to the steel for the first time with a backdrop.  Drew is all ticked off and hammers on the glass as he wants to get to Edge as fast as possible.  Edge and Rey fights on the outside with Rey being rammed into the cage multiple times.  Rey gets rammed into the glass which is “the strongest in the world” which gets two.  We’re more or less just killing time here and there’s the ten second clock.

In third it’s Barrett.  He’s all fired up and goes after Rey immediately.  Edge gets up to slow down the Englishman.  Edge and Rey work together until Edge slides Rey across the mat and cage so that his head rams into the wall.  FREAKING OW MAN!  Boss Man Slam to Edge gets two and Barrett turns his attention to Rey after taunting Show.  Pumphandle slam gets two.

Barrett is dominating here and we’re out on the steel again.  A shot to the cage with Edge’s head going into it gets two.  Edge low bridges Barrett and Wade might have hurt his knee.  Rey takes down Edge but as he goes up Barrett stops him.  Wasteland on the cage is countered as Rey grabs the cage.  He tries to climb but Barrett catches him in a powerbomb position.  Rana takes Barrett into the ring but Edge gets a big boot to stop the 619 for two.  Again, why would you stop a finisher?

In fourth is Kane.  He goes straight for Edge but gets caught by a boot.  Kane cleans house, beating everyone in sight down.  Everyone wakes up and gangs up on Kane as they should.  A bunch of kicks to the head can’t stop him so we get a triple clothesline with Barrett clotheslining Edge and Rey and vice versa.  We get some basic stuff and Barrett gets beaten down by Kane outside.

Rey tries to go up to take down Kane but a HUGE uppercut knocks Rey down into a Tree of Woe.  Edge adds a baseball slide for two.  Kane, Edge and Rey in the ring now while Barrett is slowly crawling back in.  In at #5 is McIntyre.  No eliminations yet.  Drew has been wanting in the whole time and immediately picks up Rey and launches him into the glass.  The Europeans beat up Kane, who actually is European as well so scratch that theory.  Drew kicks the rope as Barret gets in and then throws him through the UNBREAKABLE glass.  That’s a running joke now and it’s never been funny.

Drew is all annoyed and goes after Edge.  All Drew here as he can’t get Futureshock on Edge but Edge hits Edgecution for no cover.  Rey is somehow still alive as Edge is trying to get up.  Edge wants the spear but Kane grabs him in a chokeslam.  Rey is back in too but can’t hit the 619.  Kane beats everyone down and slams Rey into the post.  Drew can’t get Futureshock again as Kane backdrops him onto Barrett outside.

Edge and Kane hit double big boots to take each other down.  That replay of Rey being thrown in awesome as it’s amazing he’s still alive.  Show is getting ready as we’re under ten seconds.  Naturally he takes down everyone.  Barrett is the only one not in other than kind of Rey.  HUGE chop to Drew.  Barrett is the only one left standing other than Show and the stalking begins.

Show gets his hand on Barrett and chops away like 8 times on the outside.  Barrett rolls back into the ring and it’s all Show.  Big punch coming and Barrett is more or less dead and the pin is academic.  We’re down to five and Rey is on top of a pod.  Kane hits the top rope clothesline.  Edge adds a top rope elbow for two as Show launches Edge over the referee.  Futureshock to Show as Rey is still up there.  The DDT gets two as Rey is ready to jump.  Huge seated senton gets two as Rey is LAUNCHED.

619 and a spear put Show down but Kane fights them off.  Chokeslam to Show and we’re down to four (Kane, Drew, Edge and Rey if you’re curious).  Drew jumps into a chokeslam immediately and we’re down to three.  It’s more or less a handicap match here but Edge is taken down.  Rey hits a bunch of stuff on Kane but he can’t get the pin.  Spinning cross body is caught in a chokeslam position but he reverses into the 619.  Rey goes up and jumps into a powerbomb.  Spear from Edge and a double cover is enough to take Kane out and we’re down to Rey vs. Edge.

Kane kills Edge with a big boot and a chokeslam to Edge has both guys down.  After them laying there for a good while, Edge gets up and tries the spear but Rey reverses into a rollup for two.  Springboard cross body is rolled through into two for Edge.  Sitout bulldog gets two.  Rey goes up but gets stopped by a shot from the Canadian.  Mysterio knocks Edge down and tries a rana but Edge reverses into a sitout powerbomb for a long two.

Another powerbomb is countered into the 619 but Edge catches it and locks on the Edgecator of all things (kneeling Sharpshooter that he uses once in a blue moon).  Rey is in trouble but reverses into a rollup for two.  Good stuff here.  Edge sets for the spear and the fans are booing a bit.  Spear misses but the second one doesn’t and it’s NOT OVER.  Rey kicks out again in a big surprise.  619 hits and the springboard splash gets two.  Another 619 hits and Rey goes up.  Edge pops up and spears him out of the air to go to Wrestlemania FINALLY.

Rating: A. GREAT match here with Edge vs. Rey being the highlight.  I would say the ending was predictable but still, the ending sequence with all the kickouts was so good that it’s more than ok.  I don’t like Rey but he was great here.  I loved all the aggression in there with everyone destroying each other all night long.  Great stuff here and one of the better Chamber matches I can remember in along time.

Post match Alberto hits the ring and the beating is on Edge.  The Armbreaker goes on but CHRISTIAN runs out for the save to the least interested response from Cole that I have ever heard.  Unprettier to Del Rio (yes I know it’s the Killswitch but Unprettier is a better name).  Edge gets a spear to Del Rio to put him down.

The Rock will be at Mania.  Not sure if you heard that.

Lawler is getting ready when Striker comes in to ask for Jerry’s thoughts.  He’s thinking about his mother which is good emotion from Lawler.

Booker gets to make an in ring appearance and introduces the third trainer of Tough Enough: TRISH STRATUS??????  Even with the brown hair she’s still great looking.  She says she’s been getting excited about being around the ring and has been working on a new catchphrase.  FINALLY, the Trish has come back at Oakland to deliver Stratusfaction to the millions SUCKA!  Uh…yeah just wear little clothing Trish.  Booker wants to know that she didn’t just say that.  She’s here tonight to see King win the title.

Chaperone trailer despite the movie bombing for the most part.

Tag Titles: Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

 

Jackson is here too which makes me think there’s a title change here.  Kozlov and Slater to start but it’s off to Santino almost immediately.  Off to Gabriel now as they trade strikes and leg sweeps.  Vlad gets a  battering ram to send Gabriel to the floor but a kick to the head puts the Russian down.  Very international match here with Canada/Italy, South Africa, South America, Russia and America being represented.  Slater in with a slingshot corkscrew splash for two.

Booker keeps calling Jackson a thug despite him not doing anything yet.  Back to Santino again who gets all fired up.  Hip block sets up the headbutt for two.  Gabriel comes in and it’s Cobra time.  It takes down Gabriel but Slater is legal so Marella has to cover him for two.  Slater gets up and stomps away at the Canaditalian.  Gabriel misses a slingshot hilo and it’s off to Kozlov who has no heat on the tag.

Blind tag brings Slater in and Jackson pulls Gabriel out of the ring.  Slater gets a reverses DDT for no cover as he brings Gabriel back in.  Santino is taken down by Slater and the 450 FINALLY gives Corre their first gold in the form of the tag titles.  Quick and simple and more or less a Raw match but the mild buildup works perfectly here.

Rating: C. This was a Raw match on PPV but it was perfectly fine.  Corre winning is the right move here and this lets them spread over to Raw, setting up the potential clash at Mania.  This was perfectly fine and a good way to bridge the gap between the first half and second half of the show.

Miz says he’ll win because this is his time, not Lawler’s or Rock’s.  He says he’ll address Rock later.

Here’s Vickie to waste more time.  She’s a bit quieter here.  She says that Dolph and her were dealing with some issues as he has a bad temper.  The booing is kind of funny.  It was a crime of passion apparently when Dolph jumped Teddy.  She begs for the fans to plead with Teddy to rehire Dolph as she deserves some compassion and a little bit of love.

Teddy comes out and Vickie sucks up to him.  Dang I didn’t want that image in my head.  He says shut up as he’s in a hiring mood.  It’s not Dolph but he’s rehired Kelly instead.  Kelly shoves Vickie down and the beatdown is on.  Laycool comes out for the save and beats down Kelly.  Trish comes out and runs them off but they go after Trish.  The good girls fight back and beat down Laycool and pose to end this.  Trish botched a lot of stuff in there too and it was rather bad.  We couldn’t have added five more minutes to Kofi vs. Alberto?

We recap Miz vs. Lawler.  There’s a great bit at the beginning showing Miz doing his apron pose and the different titles and things he’s had to hold in a quick montage.  Miz talks about how he was told to quit and kept rising up the ranks resulting in this title reign.  Lawler said that Miz needed to shut up and that’s all we see of their rivalry.  Instead we see Lawler winning the Raw rumble.  We get a cool montage of Lawler and how he’s won over 140 titles but never the WWE Title.  Cool video indeed.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Jerry Lawler

 

Wow I never thought I’d type that.  We even get big match intros.  Jerry in white and black with a cape here.  That’s rather awesome.  The bell rings twice so technically this isn’t happening.  Jerry gets a quick backslide and small package for two each.  He unleashes his variety of punches as it’s all Lawler so far.  Miz gets knocked to the floor and chills for a bit.  Riley distracts Jerry though and Miz sends him into the post to shift momentum.

Miz can’t get Lawler in the ring for some reason.  He settles for a running knee while Lawler is on the apron for two.  Jerry gets a punch and the fans wake up.  Running clothesline in the corner and down goes Lawler.  Miz goes up and Jerry crotches him so they slug it out on the middle rope.  Superplex puts Miz down for two.  Riley’s reactions out there are hilarious.

They slug it out again and Jerry gets a pair of dropkicks for no cover.  Backdrop and a falling punch get two as Miz is in trouble.  We get something close to Cole being civil by saying Lawler is hanging in there.  Riley interferes by tripping Lawler and is ejected.  I know it’s a long shot and more or less an impossibility but the stars are seeming to align for Jerry to pull this off.  Miz misses a charge in the corner and Lawler rolls him up for two.

Miz escapes the Piledriver and gets a big boot for two.  Jerry reverses the pin into a rollup for two and then Miz is sent to the floor over the top.  Cole is so annoying here as Jerry rams Miz into the announce table.  Cole says he and Miz have a personal relationship which you can make your own jokes about.  Jerry throws Miz at the commentators and Miz lands on Cole.  Booker cracking up at that is great.

Lawler is in control here and goes up top as we’re back in the ring.  Top rope punch to a standing Miz gets a very close two.  Crowd is INTO this.  Miz gets a thumb to the eye but can’t get the Finale as Lawler shoves him off.  Jerry gets a DDT and Miz is reeling!  He looks at the Mania sign and goes up for the middle rope punch.  With a point to the sign and the strap coming down, Jerry gets the fist but Miz gets his foot on the ropes.  My heart jumped into my throat there.

As Booker talks about Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog for no apparent reason the Piledriver is reversed into a rollup by Miz for two.  Jerry reverses that into one of his own for two but Miz gets a kick to the head.  And there’s the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin.  It was a nice dream while it lasted but at the end of the day I think we all knew this was coming.  Still though, INCREDIBLE job here by WWE of making us think it could happen.

Rating: B-. The match was weak from a technical standpoint but they NAILED the drama here.  Jerry is a master at working the crowd and he had me believing that it was possible.  He made us believe that he could actually do this and put on a passable match at the same time.  I really hope this results in Jerry vs. Cole or Riley at Mania, but still this was a great performance and the whole thing worked.

Cole celebrates like crazy and poses with Miz in the ring.  Jerry gets up and is like well I tried.  He gets a standing ovation and they play his music to take him out.  Cole of course WILL NOT SHUT UP and let Lawler have his moment.  If this doesn’t end with Jerry piledriving Cole half to death then it fails.  Still though, great moment and incredible storytelling by WWE there.

2-21-11 promo.  Yes, let’s continue to look for tiny clues in there when we’ll find out tomorrow.

Cena is eating Fruity Pebbles and Todd comes in.  Cena says that he’s thinking about the Chamber tonight and not what happened on Monday.  He feels Yabba Dabba Delicious though.

Striker is with Punk who says he’ll win.

Mania is in 42 days.  That sounds incredible.

We recap the first match Chamber match which is going to be hard to top.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. CM Punk vs. R-Truth vs. John Morrison vs. Sheamus

 

Truth, Punk, Orton and Cena in the pods to start.  Punk gets in Orton’s face while Orton is in the pod.  Booker says he can go right now and he means against Cole.  Morrison vs. Sheamus to start us off.  How in the world is Morrison a dark horse like this?  Oh and remember that the winner gets Miz at Mania.  Here we go.  The fans seem to like Punk but I’m not sure if that’s what they’re saying.

They start off with some nice back and forth stuff until Sheamus slaps him.  Angry Morrison shows up and the beating is on.  Sheamus hides outside so Morrison dives over the top rope to take him out.  Both block head shots to the cage and Morrison sets for the Flash Kick.  Sheamus avoids it but Morrison is like boy I’m John Morrison so he catches himself on the cage and hits a Flash Kick from there instead.  That gets two back in the ring.

Sheamus takes over and we have dueling Cena/Punk chants.  With not a lot going on it’s Orton in third.  He cleans some house and it’s a powerslam (Booker calls it a scoop slam) to Sheamus and then one to Morrison (scoop powerslam according to Booker which I can live with).  Morrison goes through the glass.  Actually he might not have as the door might have been open.

Orton manages to get the elevated DDT to Sheamus onto the cage in a painful looking spot.  Punk enjoys that for some reason.  All Orton here as Morrison and Sheamus are getting destroyed.  Morrison takes a superplex for a close two as no one is gone yet.  There’s one for Sheamus as well for the same result.  Miz and Riley are watching.  Oh and Scott Armstrong has a job again.

In fourth is Punk and Orton is waiting on him.  And they can’t get the pod opened.  Punk is stuck in the door!  THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!  Orton is like screw it and hammers away as Punk still isn’t out!  Ah there he is.  RKO and Punk is gone in like 12 seconds!  Orton celebrates….and we get an E-Mail???  Since Punk couldn’t get out, he’s back in the match.  Dang it all.  He’s allowed back into his pod also.  Oh sweet goodness.

Irish Curse to Orton but the High Cross misses.  Flash Kick to Orton and it’s Sheamus vs. Morrison now.  Morrison is thrown to the steel and might have hurt his ankle.  There’s the clock again and it’s Cena in now.  And never mind as Sheamus kicks his head off as soon as Cena’s pod opens.  Cena is up soon after it but can’t get the FU to Morrison who flips out to land on his feet on the steel.

Morrison takes out Orton and Sheamus.  Cena dumps Morrison to the steel again and they fight out there for a bit.  Sheamus is like forget it and launches himself with a double slingshot clothesline to take both guys down.  Orton vs. Sheamus in the ring now and a Thesz Press takes Sheamus down.  Truth is in next and Sheamus tries the same thing he did to Cena which doesn’t work here.

Truth hammers away on Sheamus in the pod which works for a few seconds.  All five still in now.  Truth cleans a little house with the Lie Detector to Cena.  And then he walks into a Brogue Kick to put him out.  Orton vs. Cena and Sheamus vs. Morrison at the moment.  Sheamus’ back is all red and purple.  Orton throws Morrison through the glass and then the superpowers explode.

They slug it out but Orton gets a sweet dropkick for two.  There’s the clock and it’s time for Punk.  Orton waits on him and the door opens for a change.  Cena grabs Orton though but it winds up being an RKO to Cena on the steel.  Punk isn’t in the ring yet.  Brogue Kick to Orton and apparently covers count on the steel as Punk gets two out there.  Punk does the RKO setup in a nice bit of cockiness and manages to get the GTS to put Orton out.

Down to four now (Punk, Cena, Sheamus and Morrison).  Punk goes after everyone but the bulldog on the steel to Sheamus doesn’t work at all.  Morrison vs. Sheamus now and Morrison tries to climb a pod.  Sheamus follows and they fight ON TOP OF THE POD.  Sheamus sets for the High Cross but Morrison fights out of it and knocks Sheamus to the mat.

Morrison CLIMBS THE DOME OF THE CHAMBER and hangs there before dropping down onto Sheamus for the pin!  Would have been better if Sheamus hadn’t looked at him for 10 seconds but dang that looked incredible.  Punk charges at Cena which fails completely.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits and Punk rolls to the steel.  FU doesn’t work out there but Morrison dives on both of them and they’re all down.

With Cena down, Morrison tries the running knee at Cena but it misses and the knee goes through the glass.  FREAKING OW MAN!  In the ring Punk covers off a freaking snap mare for two.  Triangle choke goes on which is now the Anaconda Vice apparently. Cena is like screw it and stands up to allow Morrison to team up for a Doomsday Device for two on Punk.  Wow they’re going old school here and Morrison is looking great.

FU to Morrison but Punk takes Cena down so there’s no cover.  Punk gets the springboard clothesline to Cena on the steel and Punk might be busted open on his arm.  Punk slingshots Cena into the glass which doesn’t break.  COVER HIM!  Naturally he doesn’t as he goes after Morrison.  A slingshot into the pod doesn’t work as Morrison catches himself on the pod then jumps to the cage and hits a Flash Kick.  Starship Pain misses though and the GTS ends Morrison.  Cena pops up and hits an FU over the ropes and onto the steel to go go Mania!

Rating: A-. Another great match here.  I hated the Punk thing at first but now it’s not so bad all things considered.  Cena winning is again predictable but at the same time it’s the best match they have available.  I’d love to see it and if you throw Rock in as a wildcard how can you go wrong?  This was a good match and the whole thing worked.  Good stuff again and worth seeing.

Overall Rating: A. This was an AWESOME show.  When the worst match is perfectly acceptable, how can you say it’s anything but great?  We have Mania set up, there was great drama in the Raw Title match, Corre gets a title now and we got two GREAT Chamber matches.  Mania is set and I’m getting fired up now.  Couple that with the Rock and 2-21-11 tomorrow and how can you complain?  Great show and well worth seeing.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreaker

Edge b. Wade Barrett, Big Show, Kane, Rey Mysterio and Drew McIntyre – Edge last eliminated Mysterio to win

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater b. Vladimir Kozlov/Santino Marella – 450 to Kozlov

The Miz b. Jerry Lawler – Skull Crushing Finale

John Cena b. CM Punk, John Morrison, Randy Orton, R-Truth and Sheamus – Cena last eliminated Punk to win

Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Well, it’s a completely new company now, with the primary difference being the brand split. Also, HBK is back, having one final match at Summerslam and now another one final match here tonight. Tonight has no Survivor Series matches but we do have the debut of the Elimination Chamber. The other major difference is the reigning WWE (yes E instead of F) Champion Brock Lesnar, who has absolute taken the company and the wrestling world by storm as he won the title at Summerslam.

Rock is now gone off to Hollywood to make I think Rundown. HHH is heel now and is the reigning World Heavyweight Champion. The rest of the card really doesn’t look like much at all. We have a lot of the new guys that would come to define this era now, such as the Guerreros and Mysterio. This is of course most famous for the end of the Elimination Chamber, but maybe the rest is good too. Let’s find out.

First of all, the theme song for this show is Always by Saliva, which is my all time, undisputed favorite song, so I’m already loving this show. As tends to happen with the Brand Split shows, there’s no intro video and we head right into the first match.

Bubba/Spike/Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match. Bubba and Spike come out to another Saliva song, as they might as well just have been the official band of the company at this time. That’s fine with me as I like them. They sucked in concert though, but the tickets were 15 dollars for three bands and they were certainly worth five bucks. Anyway, Bubba and Spike are the Dudleys now as D-Von is a preacher on Smackdown with a deacon named Batista.

Three Minute Warning is more commonly known as Rosie and Jamal, who is more known as Umaga. Rico is the, shall we say, flamboyant guy that just showed up earlier in the year. These guys are fighting for no apparent reason other than they’re a team feuding with another team. Jeff is there…well I doubt he knows why either. Three Minute Warning beat up Jeff and Spike on Raw apparently.

Bubba is wearing a black vest/shirt and camouflage shorts so he looks stupider than usual. As the match starts we get to the high spots as Bubba launches Spike at the big guys but they catch him. Bubba assumes the position and they set up Poetry in Motion for Jeff who is as far in the air as I can ever remember him getting. That looked SWEET. The what’s up hits on I think Jamal as they have to tag in this? I’ll never get the point in having tagging in gimmick matches like these. It just makes no sense.

The point of the match is to put people through tables yet you can get disqualified? Yeah that makes zero sense. Bubba gets a table set up in the corner which gets Spike head rammed into it. Rosey dives at Spike but misses so he goes through it himself, which doesn’t count because he wasn’t put through it by an opponent. We’re already in a spot fest here which is what this should be. I can’t imagine any of them being able to work a long term match so this is the best thing they could have done.

Spike is taken out by a double powerbomb which makes sense as he tends to just suck most of the time anyway. If he wasn’t such a strange character, Rico could have been something special. From what I’ve read he’s a great cop though so that’s a good thing. He had a real job to fall back on which is something I completely respect.

After a brief exchange of power between the faces and the heels, we move out into the crowd. Rico shouting at Jamal to get Bubba makes me chuckle. I love how again they’ve just said screw the tag rules and are going insane after about a minute into the match. All five guys are back together again as JR is all of a sudden stunned that a Hardy and a Dudley are working together.

Jeff climbs way in the air and hits a swanton through Rosey through a table off part of the set. Again, the high spots are making this one work. Everyone but Hardy is back in the ring now. Rico goes for a moonsault but seems hesitant to actually jump. He turns to look at the other side of the ring and clearly can be heard and lip read saying Jeff come on dang it! Oh that’s just great Rico. Naturally Jeff shakes the ropes and Rico goes down about a second later.

That was just completely horrible and inexcusable on Rico’s part. I know Jeff is the one that missed the spot, but there had to be another option. Rico as a heel could act like he has another idea, or he could pretend to slip, or he could pretend to be scared. There’s a ton of other options besides exposing things like he did. The faces start their comeback with Jeff leading the charge. I wouldn’t have believed that he would one day be a three time world champion.

Considering what I’m watching, that’s just weird to type. Jamal puts Jeff through a table but for some reason they say it was Jeff messing up that caused it. Jeff messing up? NO WAY. It’s completely stupid because a second later, Jamal goes to the top and splashes Jeff through the table. Well that was a waste of time but it was a cool looking spot. Again, I couldn’t have imagined that these two would have a rather lengthy feud over the IC Title in the future.

That’s why you pay attention to the midcard and openers: you never know when they might be having decent matches in the future. The splash was sick at least. So we have Bubba against a future IC Champion and the guy that was John Cena’s old tag partner in OVW (talk about two careers that went in opposite directions). Bubba counters a hurricanrana attempt by Jamal into a powerbomb through the table so we have Bubba and Rico. Yeah this isn’t interesting anymore.

Three Minute Warning come back and beat the heck out of Bubba, but D-Von runs out in Dudley gear to reform the team. He beats up both big guys on his own to set up the 3D on Rico to a MASSIVE pop. This was when the Dudleys actually meant something. Bubba, after getting help on a 3D which took awhile to set up, is surprised that D-Von is there. That makes no sense but ok.

Rating: B. From a technical standpoint, this match was crap. However, considering what it was supposed to be, this was great stuff. It was mainly high spots and violence, but that’s exactly what it was supposed to be. The crowd was WAY into the reuniting at the end, so they’re fired up, meaning this match has more than done its job.

You have to consider what kind of a match you’re watching. Not everything is going to be like Savage vs. Steamboat, but a lot aren’t supposed to be. I think that’s a mistake a lot of people make when grading matches and it’s not a fair comparison to make. Considering what this was, it was great.

Stacy is at the World, which is the new name for WWF New York since they couldn’t just call it WWE New York I guess. She looks as amazing as ever, showing off her perfect stomach in a nice blue number. She’s Test’s PR person at this point, meaning she says testicles a lot. She introduces Saliva who sings Always, making this segment awesome. They’re at the club, so that’s a very nice touch.

This is spliced together with short highlight packages of the feuds for this show. Also, the singer, Josey Scott, DESPERATELY needs to grow his hair out again. He has it really short now and it looks horrible. This looks like a decent performance. Why in the world weren’t they this good when I saw them? This song set to the HHH vs. Shawn feud is great for some reason. They’re doing a concert at the club and as they go into Click Click Boom we go back to the arena.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

This was around the time where the belt meant absolutely nothing at all. More or less there would be a challenger of the month and someone would get a big non title winning streak against the champion, which would Noble in this case. Kidman beat him in a non title match of course, because that’s just how things are done. No one cared about the title at all and the way it wasn’t built up at all was living proof of that.

Naturally, this is going to be the match of the night because these guys are going to go nowhere and having no storyline whatsoever other you pin me, I pin you, we get a PPV paycheck because of it. Oh yeah Noble is with his girlfriend Nidia at this point, who was a co-winner of Tough Enough. Both have just terrible music that’s so painfully generic. Tazz says Noble has something up his sleeve, despite him not wearing a shirt, meaning he has no sleeve. That’s not my insight or joke.

Those are the exact words he said. Amazing. The crowd is deader than Noble’s career at this point. Kidman goes for the shooting star (Both Bourne’s and Lesnar’s are better. I don’t mean the botched Mania one, but the one in OVW. Go look it up. It’s RIDICULOUS. He just jumps into the air and hits it halfway across the ring. It’s one of the truly mindblowing moments in wrestling history), but Nidia pulls him out.

Shockingly, once the match picks up, the crowd is alive. All of a sudden this is good. Kidman hits a forward DDT off the top rope but somehow only gets a two. Since Noble is the champion he has to respond. So he sets Kidman on the top rope for a spike DDT. Think of the thing Orton does when he puts someone’s feet on the middle rope and DDTs them, but a rope higher and a shorter guy so it’s at an even sharper angle. DANG my mouth just fell open.

That looked awesome and it got a great reaction. Naturally it should cripple him so it gets a two and within fifteen seconds Kidman is back in control. And you wonder why these guys get criticized. After a brief comeback, Kidman hits the shooting star for the title. Well that was abrupt to say the least. I really hate Kidman’s bad rap music.

Rating: C+. Well the beginning flat out sucked. After about two minutes though, they just went at it and it got good. The lack of pins when they should have happened hurt things a bit though, or at least Kidman being in control after a sick DDT fifteen seconds later is just stupid, but other than that, this was fine. It’s not great, but it did what it was supposed to do.

Benoit and Angle argue over who the captain is. Benoit is breaking the rule of wearing your own brand’s shirt means jobber. Angle has reached baldness at this point. After they stop arguing, Benoit sticks out his hand, but Angle hugs him. The look on Benoit’s face is breathtakingly funny.

Jericho, rocking a three inch minimum beard, is getting ready. We’ve seen RVD do this earlier in the night.

Crazy Victoria gets in an argument with her mirror that she shatters. Victoria as a psycho is one of the sexiest gimmicks of all time, hands down. King and Ross debate this as Always plays so this is great again. We recap Trish vs. Victoria which is something about Victoria being held back by Trish, with part of the package being set to a rip off of the Psycho theme. How awesome is that?

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

This is hardcore rules. Sadly Victoria just has generic rock music here instead of All The Things She Said, which fit her so well. They really were nailing music around this time. How did they mess that up later on? Trish’s music just plain works. This might as well just be billed as hotness in a ring as Trish is of course gorgeous and I’ve always had a thing for Victoria. I think it’s the jet black straight hair, but that’s just me I guess.

They fight with a broom and for some reason I feel like I’m watching some kind of screwed up ballet or interpretive dance thing. It’s just odd indeed. Lawler implies that Victoria is ugly. What the heck? I mean, yeah Trish is likely prettier but that’s like saying Ted Turner isn’t rich compared to Warren Buffet. Turner is hardly a poor man. Granted he probably got close with how much WCW lost but whatever.

There are people walking in front of the entrance which is again across from the cameras and it’s rather distracting. Let’s fight over an ironing board because there’s nothing weird about having one of those in a match at all. The “ugly” diva is bleeding from her nose. How in the world is she supposed to be ugly? She’s GORGEOUS. Heck I’d even say she’s a knockout. That was dangerously close to being clever. Trish gets a kick to Victoria’s chest.

Since no one noticed that the kick missed apparently, Trish just does it again which looks stupid as it makes you think that something was wrong with the first one. For some reason the way JR is talking about the women using things on each other makes me think I’m watching something rather different. Actually that’s not a bad idea. Victoria wins out of absolutely nowhere with a snap suplex. That again just came out of freaking nowhere. More Victoria bashing as she leaves which is just stupid.

Rating: C-. This was…different. It was ok but it just wasn’t what these two likely should have been in. I get the hardcore aspect given Victoria’s character, but this never had the right feeling to it for me. It wasn’t bad, but it just didn’t feel right if that makes sense. They looked good, but just not in the right place. I have no idea what I meant by that so don’t bother asking.

Booker is getting ready as we hear more Always.

Bischoff is talking about something when Big Show comes in and says he’ll be sorry for trading him. Why? For winning a title on another show? How does that prove anything? Whatever.

Brock (who gets a pop) and Heyman are in the back also, with Heyman being nervous. Brock has a broken rib (more on that later) which explains the nervousness.

We recap the feud with Brock and Show, which doesn’t really exist. Brock had won a feud against Taker and Show beat up Taker, which somehow got him a title shot. The idea is simple: Show is too big for Brock to throw around like he has done to everyone else.

On Smackdown, Brock had called out Show and beat the living tar out of him with a chair. The chair actually looks tiny between these two, despite Brock not being incredibly tall (6’2). Heyman and Brock had been showing signs of tension, more or less giving away the ending to this match already.

WWE Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Show’s stupid outfit of choice around this time was the singlet top and long black pants. Not tights mind you, but pants. And people wonder why this guy is criticized like no other main eventer ever. Show has some arm injury or something. Crowd pops like a coconut for Brock. He’s more or less a face already at this point so we were just waiting for Heyman to screw him over.

With Brock it’s a classic case of someone that’s supposed to be a heel but is just such a freak that he gets wildly over anyway. The crowd is completely for Lesnar here with a big chant for him starting about eight seconds into the match. The thing is, I don’t know if it’s pro Brock or anti-Show. Big Show is probably at the worst stage of his career here as he just completely and utterly sucked.

No one, I repeat no one, wanted to see him here to do anything but make Brock look awesome, and that’s why he’s here. Think about it: what better way to make Lesnar look great other than to have him throw around the biggest guy in the company? Show starts off with his standard offensive strategy of “let’s do as little as possible but try to make it seem like I’m doing a lot because I’m so freaking fat.”

Naturally, it doesn’t work as Brock just spears the heck out of him. Shame he didn’t do that more often with the Vikings. Show just looks idiotic dressed the way he is. It looks like he’s getting dressed for his job as an accountant or something like that. When Vince wrestles dressed like that, it looks fine because he’s not a pro wrestler and more or less is just a street fighter in a wrestling ring. Show is a multi time world champion. See why that’s stupid?

Lesnar actually gets a decent belly to back. I say decent because it sucked but Big Show is more or less dead weight because he’s spent three minutes in. Lesnar makes up for it with a German. That was nice. My goodness Show is horrible. I mean seriously, all he’s doing are forearms, bad punches and weak kicks. Brock is legit hurt here and is doing 99% of the work, mainly because Show is spent.

Following a ref bump, Lesnar gets a fine (given the circumstances) overhead belly to belly on Show. This guy is legit scary. Despite his client kicking Show’s face all over the Garden, Heyman throws in a chair and you can see it coming a mile away. Show is back up and breathing in enough air to suffocate the first nine rows. Brock gets his chair shot punched and more or less says boy please by cracking Show over the head and F5ing him, in something that just blows my mind completely.

He’s legitimately hurt, and he pulls that off. I mean just DANG. Here’s your other referee, and here’s your Heyman heel (I guess) turn to go with it. Cole’s commentary is bad to put it mildly. The look on Brock’s face is scary. I mean really scary. He chases Heyman but gets nailed with the chair and chokeslammed on it, and Show wins the title as the fans are mad. I don’t mean mad because the heel won, but mad in the sense of who freaking booked this because we want them shot.

This was less than four and a half minutes, actually making it one of the shortest world title matches where the title changed hands in history. Heyman and Show embrace as Show looks stupider than usual somehow. Cole saying that it’s surprising because Lesnar and Heyman have been together since Brock got there. That’s about seven months if you’re counting. The heels run to their waiting limo and leave naturally as we get the second replay of this.

Rating: D-. This is a tale of two ratings here. Lesnar gets a pass in every sense of the word here. I mentioned the ribs being a point of interest. They were injured by Show at a house show because he wasn’t safe in the ring at this point. Lesnar was supposed to go over Show here but because of the injury, the Big Show of all people gets the belt. I’ve never seen a main event guy that flat out didn’t deserve it as much as he did here.

I mean he was just flat out embarrassing out there. It was nothing but punches and forearms, while Lesnar can barely breathe because his bones are in pieces and he’s out there throwing Show around, yet he’s the one that has to lose the freaking belt because Big Show, the fat load that he is, injured him and there’s no other way to go.

THANKFULLY, Show was champion for a month as he dropped it to Angle at the next PPV, leading to the absolute classic of Benoit vs. Angle that happened at the Rumble. I can’t wait to get to that one. Anyway, Show sucks, Lesnar is the freaking man, end of story.

We go into the recap of the three way feud between Edge/Mysterio, Angle/Benoit, and the Guerreros. More or less, Angle and Benoit won the inaugural tag titles in a tournament (Billy Kidman and John Cena were partners. How weird does that sound?) beating Edge and Mysterio in perhaps the best tag match of all time the previous month.

Edge and Mysterio took them from them in a 2/3 falls match on Smackdown. The Guerreros are there…well because there was nothing else for them to do I guess. The main thing here is Angle and Benoit are arguing over who the captain is, but when they get in the ring they’re so awesome that it doesn’t really matter.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Benoit/Angle vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Rey is still more or less a rookie at this point. This is elimination rules also. Al Wilson and Dawn Marie, who are engaged, are at ringside. This was a disturbing angle, but it led to a lesbian angle with Torrie and Dawn Marie, so it’s awesome. Al might have been the first WWE TV character to actually die. That’s saying a lot. The intros take forever as Benoit, Angle, Edge and Mysterio all have their own entrances.

Edge is getting all kinds of pops, as is Mysterio. That’s saying a lot considering Benoit and Angle are far bigger stars. We start with Benoit and Mysterio. That’s fine by me. Cole calls the match where Edge and Rey won the titles historic. Why? It was a 2/3 falls match and while it was good, I’d hardly say it was historic, but it’s Michael Cole so just a bit over the top is good for him. Angle gets another great pop as the crowd is white hot for everything here.

Eddie and Chavo are both cowards of course. Imagine if Edge and Mysterio were midgets. Chavo would be running for his life. Rey comes in and gets things going much faster which is what you need him to do. Eddie is just a midcard guy here and wouldn’t get a real main event push for a little over a year. Anyone can tag anyone here, making this very interesting indeed. This is a really fast paced match which makes sense given who’s in there.

Kurt slams his shoulder into the post as hard as anyone I’ve ever seen. That was painful looking. This is another of those matches that is hard to make fun of because it’s good so far. Angle was back to being goofy at this point which hurt him a bit, but it worked in the ring still. He puts a front facelock on Rey, which after eight minutes at that pace, I think it’s ok for a short break.

As soon as they break that up, Kurt and Rey crank it right back up again and the crowd is right back into it. That’s a good sign that the crowd stays with you. Angle goes for the tag but Eddie and Chavo hit the floor as Edge comes in. Edge and Kurt had been feuding for awhile now with Edge, resulting in Angle’s lack of hair. Angle counters the spear into the ankle lock and Benoit adds the crossface for the double submission attempt.

Rey hits a springboard seated senton to take out Kurt and then a dropkick to take out Benoit. Chavo pulls Angle to the floor as Rey hits the ropes and launches a corkscrew over the ropes to take them both out. Benoit starts the rolling Germans but on the third one, Eddie comes off the top with a sunset flip to Benoit who doesn’t let go of Edge, resulting in Benoit being in the sunset flip and Edge being suplexed at the exact same time.

Beginning with the Edge spear and ending with the kick outs from Edge and Benoit, that took about thirty seconds and was possibly the most exciting thirty seconds in the history of the Survivor Series. I was in absolute awe of it and that hardly ever happens to me. That was absolutely epic. Within seconds, and by that I mean like two, they’re going again, this time with Benoit beating on Edge even more.

He goes for the headbutt but Eddie hits the Frog Splash, but Benoit hits the headbutt to break up the pin. Before anything else can happen, Angle runs in and puts the ankle lock on Eddie while Benoit has the crossface on Edge. Chavo brings the belt in which is something that I hate. It was one of the fastest paced and flat out entertaining matches I can ever remember seeing until then, but I guess it fits the gimmick.

Benoit thinks Angle hit him because he took the belt from Chavo. Benoit and Angle get into it, allowing Rey to hit Benoit to set up for the spear, eliminating Benoit and Angle. They lay out the champions before leaving in an argument, which sets up their best match of their absolutely epic series at the Rumble. Wow once they left the life got sucked out of this thing. I’m thinking one fall might have been the way to go here.

Rey comes in with a springboard cross body so high you would think he was Jeff Hardy. Edge spears both guys in the corner at once to set up the worst move ever: the Bronco Buster. It doesn’t hit which makes me cheer. Rey hits the 619 but Chavo hits the belt shot to the back which makes Rey tap to the Lasso From El Paso, which is more or less a weak Boston Crab. I’m really not wild on the standard cheating to win the belts here at all.

This could have been great and the first half was, but sadly this was the end of the greatness that was the early days of the WWE Tag Titles. Within less than a year we would have teams like Haas and Rico and Rikishi and Scotty winning the titles. The belts became jokes of course because Vince can’t allow any great wrestling on any show period, because it might make them realize that half of the stuff he’s got is just flat out terrible.

Rating: B. This is another tale of two matches. The first half, which is with Benoit and Angle, was some of the most entertaining, breath taking fast paced greatness that I’ve ever seen in a tag match. The part after that could have been an example from a book called How to Have a Boring Title Change.

I mean there was nothing that would have kept that part from being on any run of the mill TV show or house show for that matter. That’s how typical it was. From what I’ve read, this match was blown out of the water by the No Mercy match which had no Guerreros in it, so that’s on my short list of must see matches.

Chris Nowitski, a Harvard graduate and Tough Enough guy that could have been a decent midcard heel if he hadn’t gotten injured. He has a degree from Harvard though so I think he’ll be fine. He got a bad concussion at a house show and was forced to retire. He now does a ton of great work studying the long term effects of concussions and does special appearances for WWE.

It looks good for a guy like this to be on Vince’s payroll, as it shows he’s actually caring or at least pretending to care about the long term health of his workers. Anyway, Chris cuts a decent anti-New York promo here. Considering he had been in the company about five months at this point, he wasn’t half bad. He never would have been anything great, but he could have made a pretty good manager or commentator, something along the lines of Matt Striker.

Actually, as I’m writing this it’s 3:30 AM on September 25. meaning to me it’s still Thursday night. It just so happens that Thursday the 24th was Chris’ gimmick that I’ve always loved. I have no idea what it was, but I loved it. What I could make of it was that he more or less started a cult/fan club, with his opening video being set up to look like a website, complete with really funny factoids on the side, traditionally two per entrance.

Tonight we learn that “Matt keeps the room temperature at a toasty 75 degrees” and “Matt only drinks lowfat chocolate milk.” This gimmick was one I always liked, which is saying a lot as there’s not a lot of them that I like. This one is unique to say the least though. He teases being a face by asking Chris who he thinks he is because apparently Chris didn’t insult New York strongly enough.

Matt’s promo is about as good as Chris’, which means that it’s a failure. Chris is a rookie and Matt is a veteran, meaning that it’s ok for Chris to be below average, but not for Matt. This was pretty weak, but as they leave we discover the point to this as Scott Steiner debuts. This was a bit of a surprise, but he had been on Confidential, which was one of the Saturday night shows that started off as great and wound up sucking, the night before saying he was a free agent.

This would lead to a bidding war between Raw and Smackdown, eventually won by Raw and leading to perhaps the worst match ever with him and HHH at the Rumble. He just happens to be in his gear for no apparent reason and beats the heck out of both heels without saying anything at all. Oh dear Scott Steiner has a live mic. Oh good it’s just his catchphrase. Anyone that doesn’t believe steroids happen in wrestling, just look at this freak.

Terri is with Shawn (who has the stupidest looking haircut of all time) as he’s talking about why he believes he can win the title when we have BREAKING NEWS from RNN. This was a short term gimmick that the newcomer known as Randy Orton was doing. Orton, with some fairly long and messy brown hair, talks about how he came to Survivor Series, but don’t worry, because the flight didn’t hurt his shoulder any worse. Keep sending those get well soon emails!

We get a clipped down version of the video earlier recapping the feud. The basic idea is HHH vs. Shawn vs. four other upper midcard guys that have a prayer, but it’s highly unlikely that it’s going to end with anything other than DX exploding. Remember, this is Shawn’s 3rd match in nearly five years, if you count the Mania match against Austin. That’s ridiculous to say the least. Part of this feud was the great moment where Shawn came out in a wheelchair and got up to take out HHH.

HHH gets interrupted by Coach who is just a freaking moron, at least on camera. HHH actually says that the other five guys are some of the best in the world. That’s saying a lot coming from him. He says he has a first class ticket to a very warm place and the only question is who is coming with him. That’s almost a great line.

Bischoff comes out and walks us through how the chamber works and how deadly it is. If nothing else it looks awesome. The match isn’t weak at this point like it’s become now. The day before I got to this part, the announcement was made that No Way Out will be turned into another theme PPV about this. I really hate that. Hearing the words Elimination Chamber used to be a big deal, but now it’s just a cliché. It’s far worse with Hell in a Cell though.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho vs. HBK vs. Booker T vs. RVD vs. Kane

This is in the Elimination Chamber. If you didn’t know that by now, then PAY ATTENTION YOU MORONS! Jericho is out first, which means that he and the other three after him will be in the pods. For those of you that have never seen one of these matches, the idea is fairly simple despite looking complex. You have a massive cage around the ring complete with a metal floor so in essence there’s the ring itself and then another area around it in a circle.

Behind each of the four ring posts there’s a smaller chamber with a person inside of it. We being with two men in the ring and four in the pods. After five minutes, another man is released. It’s pinfall or submission, last man standing wins. Jericho’s entrance is awesome as he’s using a Saliva song, and as he comes out we cut to the World where Saliva performs it live. That’s very cool when you think about it. Booker is next.

He’s here…uh…actually I have no idea why he’s in this. I guess because he’s a big name. He would feud with HHH heading into Mania, so I guess I’d call this a tryout in the main event scene for him. Jericho lost the title to HHH at Mania so there are his credentials in case you were wondering. Ah Booker pinned HHH in a tag match a few weeks ago. It’s better than no explanation I guess. Kane is third. I don’t think he really needs an explanation.

There’s actually four faces and two heels in this match, which is odd indeed. This was during the time where Vince came up with the BRILLIANT, YES BRILLIANT I SAY idea of unifying the midcard titles with the singles titles, so for about eight months there was no Intercontinental belt. Kane was the last champion before losing it to HHH a month or so prior to this, which I guess is why he’s in here. Shawn is fourth, to a solid pop.

He’s wearing brown tights. Yes I said brown. Two things about his entrance: JR says who else could this be? Well JR I don’t think Shawn sings anyone else’s music so I’d guess it’s him. Also, Fink introduces him as HBK: Shawn Michaels. I’ve never heard him called that. Ross is mentioning all of the wrestlers’ records at this show. Kane is 4-1 and Shawn is 5-5. Dang that’s a lot of Survivor Series appearences.

That leaves us with RVD vs. HHH to start, which sounds like a bad recipe for alphabet soup. Flair cheated RVD out of his title match at Unforgiven, so this is technically his rematch. Allegedly the chamber weighs ten tons. I could see it being 9.97 tons but not ten, there’s just no way. Flair is with HHH as that little thing called Evolution is on the horizon. In an interesting stat, HHH is 0-6 coming into this Survivor Series.

That’s quite surprising and a stat like the Streak that just kind of sneaks up on you. Yeah Evolution debuted February 3, 2003, which was my 15th birthday for those KB enthusiasts out there. There’s the bell and we’re on. Or is it off? For the absolute life of me, I don’t get why Vince refused to push RVD. Madison Square Garden is cheering for him so loudly that it’s hurting my ears. But since he’s from ECW, that’s the only reason he’s being cheered. It couldn’t be talent or anything like that.

Less than a minute in, they’re out on the area between the pods outside of the ring. This really is a cool looking structure. We have our first bloodshed inside of two minutes. With HHH on the cage floor, Van Dam does Rolling Thunder through the ring and then over the top. That was very sweet looking. Van Dam is beating the tar out of HHH here. He goes to climb one of the pods but Jericho literally pulls him partially into it, getting his leg inside. That was cool looking.

They beat on each other some more, which is the polite way to say that Van Dam is massacring him, as Jericho is the third man in. After some generic fast paced stuff, we get what’s likely he most famous spot of the match, as Van Dam jumps at Jericho but instead of hitting him, grabs onto the cage in mid air, sticking to it “like Spiderman” as everyone on the planet said, but Ross gets credit for.

It gets more cheers from the crowd, but that doesn’t mean anything at all because Van Dam just isn’t capable of carrying a crowd, because they don’t know what they want as much as Vince does. We get another famous line as Ross says these men are playing Russian roulette with their careers. Jericho shouts that he’s the king of the world. I didn’t like him in Titanic and was glad when he sank.

Lawler points out that HHH craves to be champion. Wouldn’t that mean that he’s content at the moment? Booker is in third and also gets a big pop, but he couldn’t be champion either because HHH gets better heat than he gets pops, so naturally HHH has to go over him too.

As was mentioned in my Summerslam 2002 review, this was a period of time in HHH’s career where all the criticism of him comes from as he simply wouldn’t lose to anyone, no matter how big of a star they were unless their name was Shawn Michaels. Booker comes in and kicks everyone half to death but before he can go back for the other half, we have a Spinnerooni.

He and Van Dam go at it for a bit as we hear again about how Van Dam is like trying to pour smoke through a keyhole or whatever that expression is. Why do commentators always misuse the word literally? It’s really not that hard to get it right at all. Can Booker do anything other than kick people? That’s all he’s done in this match so far. RVD goes for the Five Star but goes up to the top of the pod and comes off with the splash, or at least he tries to.

The problem is the ceiling curves up to a point so there’s nowhere for him to jump, so more or less he falls on HHH. Van Dam’s leg lands on HHH’s throat and we go to a wide shot so we won’t see the referee throwing up the X. It was legit, so Booker hits a top rope dropkick (shocking isn’t it?) for the pin on Van Dam as HHH tries to breathe. He would have to take some time off because of that injury actually, so it was kind of serious.

The fans boo Van Dam’s elimination out of the building, but he’s not over at all because Vince has decided he’s not, and Vince is never wrong, right? Jericho and Booker try to buy HHH some more time by chopping the heck out of each other.

Kane brings some needed fresh blood into this match. This was probably the hottest period of his career other than his debut, and if they were ever going to put the belt on him, it likely should have come around this time, maybe in the spring after Mania. Alas, it would never happen and ONCE AGAIN they just turned him into a monster with nothing even remotely resembling direction of any sort. I hate that.

The guy is a former world champion, he’s big, he’s strong and he’s over, but we can never put the belt on him. Guys like RVD and Booker are both incredibly popular here, but neither would get the belt for almost five years from this point, or six years after they debuted. Benoit wouldn’t get the title for over four years and the same was true for Eddie. However, someone like Brock or Taker can come in and within a year be world champion.

It continues the long running theory I have: if Vince didn’t create them, he’s not going to push them. That’s why it annoys me when we see guys like Santino and Hornswoggle on TV all the time. Vince created them, so he’s going to push them down our throats until they get over or we stop complaining about them.

Instead of putting someone from outside of the company or someone that came up with the gimmick on their own that’s actually interesting, we get stupid things like Cedric the Entertainer and Al freaking Sharpton. Oh yeah Vince, keep up that in touch booking that you just love to do. And people wonder why the company nearly died in 2003. Anyway, Kane uses his standard stuff to beat on Jericho and Booker for awhile as HHH is still down.

Jericho starts another bad tradition in gimmick matches by being the first person to be thrown through the “bulletproof” glass. I can’t stand when they overhype stuff like that and then just completely destroy the mystique of the thing. In reality, Jericho would be cut to pieces here and likely in need of a hospital. He’s bleeding to an extent, but it’s far from horrible.

HHH is back up as Jericho, who isn’t dead, gets rid of Booker with the Lionsault after about a minute of rest. Jericho tries to climb a pod and you can hear Kane say where are you going Chris as he grabs him and pulls him down. That’s just creepy. As has been the custom we have two guys fighting and the other two are down. That’s kind of cheap but I can see why they have to do it. Actually I can’t. Why not have more violence?

If Jericho can get up after being thrown through “bulletproof” glass, then the whole pain thing is no big deal. The interval between Kane and Shawn is longer than five minutes to give him less time in the ring I guess. He comes in to a long but not very loud at all pop. Kane takes him down with a clothesline though, so that takes care of that. Never mind as he’s back up. Michaels isn’t quick but he’s sudden. I’ve heard that about a dozen times and have no clue what it means.

Ross lives in his own little world most of the time and I really don’t want to be there. Kane chokeslams everyone but doesn’t cover any of them because that would make sense, and we can’t have any of that of course. He goes to tombstone HHH but is shoved into Sweet Chin Music. He sits up and gets a Pedigree and the Lionsault ends him to get us down to three guys. What follows is more or less just the two of them beating the tar out of Shawn and making him bleed badly.

They also work on Shawn’s back a lot, which at least makes sense. Hey, did you know Shawn has wrestled once in almost five years because he broke his back? I wasn’t sure if you knew that this is Shawn’s second match in almost five years because he broke his back. I just wanted to make sure that it was known that this is Shawn’s second match in almost five years because he broke his back.

Shawn makes a small comeback but gets dropped on the cage floor to end that one. Shawn nips up only to be knocked back down again, which is one of the fastest pops and ending of a pop I’ve ever heard. He kicks out of the Lionsault and you already know the ending, but you don’t want to believe that it’s possible HBK winning the title really would have been a mind blowing thing as he had just come back and it was really considered a short term thing.

Jericho hooks the Walls, but HHH breaks them up for no apparent reason and they start going at it. They beat on each other for awhile so Shawn can rest a bit. I’m fine with that as he has very limited cardio at this point more than likely. Jericho hooks the Walls on HHH but gets his head kicked off and it’s one on one for the title, and all of a sudden it’s possible. HHH uses the spinebuster, which I don’t think had a name when Anderson used it.

I think I remember it being called the Anderson Drop at one point, which I kind of like. Did he really invent that move? If he did, that’s quite cool. Naturally HHH beats on Shawn even more with a focus on his back. Despite being introduced earlier as HBK, Ross says he’s no longer the Heart Break Kid. Is there a reason for that? To further complete the likelihood that Shawn will win the title, he gets launched through the bulletproof, yes I said bulletproof glass.

Despite being nearly murdered, he keeps fighting. There comes a point where things just get stupid. Also, credit should go to HHH for staying in this, but I don’t get why he stayed in there if he was hurt, given the ending, but whatever. Shawn catapults HHH into the cage to get another break as the fans are in this to an extent but I think they’re just spent at this point as we’re at about thirty seven minutes at this point. For the thousandth time, Shawn has heart. Note to JR: WE GET IT!

In a flat out DUMB looking spot, Shawn goes to the top rope and literally just stands there for a few seconds, not even looking at HHH. HHH clearly gets up, but Shawn goes to the top of the pod behind him and HHH LAYS BACK DOWN to get the elbow. Ok, I get that it’s staged and everything, but give me a break. At least get kicked or something before you go down. That’s just freaking idiotic.

If nothing else it got the fans into it again for a bit, but at this point I think they know what’s coming here. Those brown tights are just moronic looking. Was there some massive joke about wardrobe tonight or something that was preplanned? Between Show and HBK I feel like I’m watching a bad Christmas play put on by an elementary school.

To further stupefy this match, Shawn kicks out of the freaking Pedigree. Ok, that’s it. This is freaking absurd. Ok, I get that Shawn is a big star. I get that Shawn is one of the biggest stars of all time. I get that his comeback here is something that is very impressive.

But to do this now with HHH giving him not one but TWO massive rubs that A, Shawn doesn’t need and B, someone, ANYONE of the other four guys in this match could have made a career out of is without a doubt the most self centered, egotistical thing that I can ever remember seeing. I know he’s a bit better about it now, but this is just more HHH nonsense. If you want to give Shawn the title for the nostalgic run, fine, but blast it give someone else a freaking rub!

Don’t make it look like Shawn, who at this point is a has been off the street (He hadn’t wrestled or trained hardcore in YEARS at this point so he’s starting completely from scratch) is able to not only beat HHH once, but get through Kane, RVD, Booker and Chris freaking Jericho to do it? Are you telling me that you consider them that low on the totem pole Vince?

Yes, Shawn is a bigger star than every single one of them, but to say that he could beat them all in his second match in four and a half years based on sheer will and heart alone is as big of a slap in the face as you can give to those four men that are working so hard and getting FAR bigger pops than Shawn has gotten all night long.

Shawn comes in LAST and lays around getting beaten on for most of the match and really just doing jack in this match other than with HHH, so let’s reward him with the belt and another title reign that means nothing while everyone else that goes out there and works to have a good match and get the audience into the show, a.k.a. CARRYING THE MATCH, is just built up to be eventually fed to, you guessed it, HHH.

Of those four guys, let’s see what they would go on to do after this. Booker: feud with HHH, get massive pops, have the best run of his life, and then job to HHH at Mania in a throwaway match. Kane: fed to Batista, ANOTHER musclehead that couldn’t do a thing back then. Jericho; fed to Shawn in a good feud. RVD: nothing.

With no IC title to hunt for because HHH has to be CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, RVD just kind of floated around for awhile until getting a tag team with Kane that won the pointless tag belts. Shawn and HHH, who were doing WONDERS for the ratings, (as in taking them to levels of low not seen this millennium) would keep feuding over the belt before HHH fought ANOTHER muscle guy in Scott Steiner for two months in what are considered to be two of the worst matches of all time.

All the while, Benoit and Angle and Lesnar would be having some of the best matches in years on Smackdown and getting NO recognition for it, because they weren’t named Shawn and HHH. I can certainly see where the hate for HHH came from back in the day, as this was nothing but an ego play on his and Shawn’s part. They just HAD to be the center of attention again because they think it’s 1997 again, and Shawn still can’t draw.

Instead of letting guys like Van Dam or Booker or Benoit or Angle, the guys that are getting pops and having great matches, carry the company, we get more “nostalgia” moments that no one wants to see because HHH and Shawn want to clutch to their old spots, and even today, eight days before the Hell in a Cell PPV, they’re still doing it. I really hate them both at this moment, but that’ll pass in awhile. As for the match, Shawn gets up and counters another Pedigree for the kick and the belt to end it.

Rating: B. Despite my longest rant ever here, this was a good match. I HATE the way they decided to end it, but the match and the drama were there. The intervals between eliminations were all relatively long with the shortest being like seven minutes or so, which I like.

It makes it seem like these people are hard to eliminate, which is the point of the match. The wrestling is there, but this is a long match. Next year’s would be too short though, so around thirty minutes is where this needs to go. This was good though, despite my own bias about it.

Overall Rating: B-. As I read on another review of this show, the wrestling is good, the booking is bad. I don’t like using the same conclusions I found somewhere else, but that’s exactly right. The wrestling here really is solid, but the Guerreros, Big Show and Shawn winning just don’t work for me, plain and simple. Luckily for the two singles titles, they only lasted for a month as both changed hands again at Armageddon.

This is a different kind of show, similar to maybe the Rumble with everything leading up to one major match, which is ok I guess. I could easily see some people being bored out of their minds here while others love every second of it. Go find a copy of the tag title match but I’d only watch the first fall as it’s some of the most entertaining stuff you’ll ever find. If you’re a fan of HHH and HBK, you’ll love the main event and vice versa. Overall, it’s good but not great, so I’ll recommend it with an asterisk.

Smackdown
Date: February 18, 2011
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the last show before Elimination Chamber and we might have a new World Heavyweight Champion.  It wasn’t really clear on Raw as to what was going on with that but we’ll find out tonight.  Also, Vickie says that she has proof that Edge was the one that attacked Teddy Long.  Finally we have the six faces in the Chamber matches vs. the six heels in the Chamber matches.  Let’s get to it.

We see clips of Smackdown over the years as this is the 600^th episode.  We talk about the 12 man tag which is a bit much don’t you think?

Theme song hits.  Since Cena is here tonight I can tell you to get your reinforcements.

Dolph’s coronation is tonight.

Here’s Edge to open the show.  Oh wait this is the 12 man.

Edge/Randy Orton/John Morrison/R-Truth/Rey Mysterio/John Cena vs. CM Punk/Sheamus/Wade Barrett/Drew McIntyre/Kane/Dolph Ziggler

 

Great pops for all the faces with Rey as the hometown boy or Orton getting the best.  No rapping for Truth here.  This crowd is white hot.  Booker takes offense to Cole calling Sheamus the best king of all time.  Quite the lineup here.  Kane competed in the first Friday Night Smackdown.  Are we really just not acknowledging the Thursday show anymore?  Is there a reason that Ziggler’s initials on his trunks are backwards?

Edge and Sheamus start but Drew wants a tag immediately so more or less he and Edge start us off.  I’ll try to keep up with the tags but I make no promises.  Edge beats the heck out of him, pounding him down in the corner and getting a big boot for good measure.  Truth comes in and Booker gets all excited.  Cole says Truth actually knows what city he’s in here.

Off to Ziggler who gets taken down immediately.  Orton comes in to a ROAR.  Loud Randy chant as we hear about Ziggler winning the title by DQ.  Big kneedrop by Orton gets two on Dolph.  Off to Cena who gets a nice reaction of his own.  Ziggler hammers away at Cena which doesn’t last long at all.  Now we get to the interesting part of the show as we talk about Rock ripping into Cena on Monday.  And that’s the end of that as we simply say Rock ripped into Cena.

Morrison in now but Starship Pain is avoided and Ziggler gets a reverse slam off the top as we take a break.  Back with Sheamus beating on Morrison and getting two.  MAD heat on Punk as he comes in.  Booker and Cole argue over the toughness of names as Rey comes in to a big pop.  619 is blocked into a backbreaker for two and it’s off to Kane.  Bearhug by the Big Fried Freak.  Rey is up in the air for this and it looks like Kane is cuddling him.

Rey gets thrown into the corner but fights his way out of it and manages to avoid a chokeslam.  Kane sends him to the floor into the waiting knee of Punk as we take our second break of the match.  Back with Barrett beating on Rey and tagging in Sheamus.  Rey can’t get a tag and the beating continues.  Booker doesn’t seem to be incredibly familiar with Sheamus.

Mysterio almost gets a tag but Sheamus keeps pulling him back and gets the Irish Curse to stop it one more time.  That only gets two though and it’s back off to Barrett.  Miz is in action later tonight.  Rey avoids a charge but goes up top for a moonsault instead of tagging.  It’s enough for a tag (which the referee clearly didn’t see but allows anyway) to bring in Edge.

Edgecution sets up the spear but Sheamus intercepts it with the Brogue Kick.  We get the expected sequence of finishers as everyone runs in to hit something.  I’m not even going to try to keep track of them all. Rey winds up getting a double 619 on Ziggler and Barrett to allow Edge to hit a good spear on Ziggler for the pin at 11:57 shown of 18:57 total.  That spear was more like a Gore as Ziggler bounced off and Edge didn’t just stop as it hit.  Good shot.

Rating: B-. This was only going to be so good as with that many people in it they couldn’t get an incredibly match out of it.  It wasn’t supposed to be a great match though as it was only there to be an all star match for the most part which is exactly what it was.  Fun stuff and a good little treat for the crowd.

Post match Vickie comes out to say it’s time for Edge to hand over the title.  We get a clip from last week with Clay Matthews running in to count the pin after the illegal spar.  This is a relief as the ending would have made no sense at all otherwise.  Also Vickie knows that Edge attacked Teddy Long.  Without showing the evidence, Vickie fires Edge and we take a break.

The announcers argue about Vickie for a bit.

We see the video of Cody having his face broken by Rey and his knee brace.  Todd talks to Dashing Cody Rhodes who is ready to address the world.  He’s in a mask ala Hannibal Lecter.  While the surgery was a success his journey has stalled over a masked something (he didn’t finish what he was saying after masked).  He’s cleared for travel and will be making an announcement on Smackdown next week.

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix vs. Layla/Maryse

 

After the faces enter we take a break and get a clip of the first regular episode of Smackdown (remember that there was a pilot about four months earlier) from August of 99.  Michelle has a bad foot so is out for awhile.  Beth vs. Maryse to start.  Michelle is on commentary and wants to know why Eve is the Divas Champion when Michelle got a pin also.

Off to Layla vs. Eve with the champion dominating.  Michelle seems a bit irritated by Layla here as we continue to push the split.  Eve fires away with kicks and Michelle gets off commentary.  She limps up the steps and gets in the face of Layla.  Beth hits her in the foot to bring her down.  In the confusion, Layla and Maryse hit what I think was supposed to be a double superkick so that Layla can pin Eve at 2:27.  No rating as this was mainly Layla vs. Eve but this was no worse than your usual Divas match.

It’s time to talk about the Rock.  Booker says this show should have been named the Book Show instead of Smackdown.  Yes, we should have named a show after a guy that wouldn’t be in the company for over two years.  We see the same ten minute or so video from NXT which is still awesome.  I finally got the electricity part: he’s electrifying after all right?

Another Smackdown moment is the 9/11 show.  That is indeed awesome and the #1 moment in Smackdown history.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

 

This should be good.  I’m in the minority here but I absolutely love hearing Cole talk about Miz.  Basic back and forth style to start with Kofi grabbing an armbar.  Booker praises Miz, saying he worked his way up from the bottom and that he has charisma.  He does have a big mouth however but Cole doesn’t care as he has Booker’s endorsement of the Miz.

Miz is sent into the corner and Kofi tries what looks like either a Stinger Splash or a jumping Superman punch.  Either way he misses and lands on the middle rope.  Miz kicks the foot out though and takes over as we take a break.  Back with Miz in control with a kick to the gut and a suplex for two.

Kofi fights back with kicks but can’t get the SOS.  Miz is sent into the middle buckle and Kofi gets a shot for two.  Kofi kind of misses the pendulum kick in the corner and gets the cross body for two.  Backbreaker/neckbreaker combination (that needs a name) by Miz gets two.  They’re going back and forth here but neither is seeming to go for the kill yet.  Kofi does that thing where it looks like he bounces his head off the top rope to spring backwards.

Superman punch sets up the Boom Drop which sets up the Trouble in Paradise.  Here’s Alberto though, doing what can almost be called Slick’s walk down the aisle.  The distraction lets Miz get a rollup for two in a nice false finish.  Kofi puts Miz down for a second but Alberto snaps his scarf at him which is enough of a distraction to allow Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale to end it at 6:46 shown of 10:16.

Rating: C+. These are the kind of wins Miz needs and the kind of matches I’d love to see more often on WWE TV.  In one week he’s beaten Bryan clean and Kofi not quite clean.  Kofi and Bryan aren’t on Miz’s level so it’s not like they’re being dropped down or anything.  Miz looks good and gets credible wins, no one is lowered in value and we get decent matches.  What’s wrong with that?

Alberto looks down at Kofi without saying anything.  They have a match at the PPV which was announced on WWE.com.

We run down how awesome WWE is by showing the list of the top ten shows that have been on the air for the most amount of episodes.  Raw is at 925 at #1 and Smackdown is at #3 with Gunsmoke is second.  I shudder to think of the day when Raw hits 1000 episodes.

Eddie’s celebration for winning the title is another Smackdown moment.

Tag Titles: Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

 

How many matches can these two teams have?  No backup for the challengers here and no Tamina either.  Vlad vs. Gabriel to start us off here.  Gabriel is sent to the floor and here come Barrett/Jackson.  Kozlov looks at Barrett and takes a chop block from Gabriel.  Off to Slater now who stomps away.  Santino comes in to fight Gabriel and it’s a strike off.  Saluting headbutt gets two.  Cobra to Gabriel but Barrett and Jackson run in for the DQ at 2:00.

Big Show runs down for the save and for once Jackson doesn’t kill him.  They have a staredown though.  Jackson teases getting in but smiles and leaves instead.

Another Smackdown moment is Booker vs. Austin in the grocery store.  That’s one of my all time favorites.

It’s time for the coronation.  Ziggler and Vickie are in the ring and the title is between them.  Dolph is officially the new World Heavyweight Champion.  Yes, a member of the Spirit Squad is a World Heavyweight Champion.  He holds up the title and it’s the Mack Militant.  He says Vickie and Dolph look like they’re seeing a ghost.

Teddy says Vickie never investigated anything and that it was odd that it was Ziggler and Vickie there first.  Vickie starts talking and Teddy says SHUT UP to a big pop.  Vickie sells Dolph out, saying that it was all his idea to attack Teddy.  He says to clear the ring because we’re going to have a world title match RIGHT NOW.  Vickie had the power to fire people but he has the power to rehire people, and he has rehired Dolph’s opponent right now.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

 

After a break the bell rings and we’re off.  Edge starts like a house of fire, taking everyone down almost immediately.  The now legal spear misses as Edge hits the post.  Even Cole can’t defend Vickie here which is saying a lot.  Back in the ring and Ziggler locks on a chinlock.  Edge fights out of it but the champion hits a Fameasser.  Ziggler tries a Zig Zag but the spear gives Edge world title #11 I think at 3:02.  Yep that’s it.

Rating: D+. It probably shouldn’t be graded but it’s just long enough.  Was there a point in having Ziggler get beaten in three minutes like this?  You can’t just give him the title until Sunday so that he has like a three day reign or something?  I don’t get this but they tries at least.  I suppose it’s so they could have a big moment on the 600^th show or something.

Dolph Ziggler is fired post match, meaning there’s an open spot in the Chamber.  Edge says excuse me but tonight has been a long party.  Seeing Dolph get fired makes Edge feel like singing.  I think you all know the words.  Hey and there’s confetti!  This ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Much better show this week than last week and it’s still not that great.  There was a much better focus on wrestling here with far fewer squashes and more of an overall theme to the show.  You had two title matches and two title changes along with angles being advanced and a mystery going into the Chamber PPV.  Not bad at all although it could have been a bit better with some more wrestling.  Good show though.

Results

John Cena/R-Truth/Edge/Rey Mysterio/Randy Orton/John Morrison b. Dolph Ziggler/Sheamus/Wade Barrett/Kane/CM Punk/Drew McIntyre – Spear to Ziggler

Maryse/Layla b. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres – Double Superkick to Eve

The Miz b. Kofi Kingston Skull Crushing Finale

Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov b. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater via DQ when the Corre interfered

Edge b. Dolph Ziggler – Spear