Sacrifice 2011
Date: May 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s another TNA PPV tonight with the main event being Sting vs. RVD for the title.  Earlier today Karen Angle, who is in one of the big matches, posted a message on her Facebook saying that she wouldn’t be able to be in the ring tonight due to a bad ankle.  What a shock indeed.  Anyway the card looks ok I guess so let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Sting vs. RVD and is set to a song called, appropriately enough, Sacrifice which is rap/hip hop.  Both guys are shown training, almost like a Rocky montage.

There’s a big Sacrifice banner which is a bit different.  There was a rumor that the whole place would look different but I don’t see any major differences.

Mexican America vs. Ink Inc

Neal comes out with the big American flag to fight off the evil (not) foreigners.  The fans chant USA as I guess Shannon’s teased heel turn means nothing.  This is now the Impact Wrestling Zone.  Yeah I’m not changing the name.  Anarquia and Shannon start us off.  Arm work by Shannon to start which goes on for awhile.  Anarquia wasn’t bad as Lowrider in OVW but he’s rather generic here which isn’t his fault.

Anarquia tries some power which gets him a leg lariat from Moore.  Rosita gets up to distract and this incredibly by the book match brings in Hernandez.  Neal comes in also and gets a belly to belly to take him down.  Sarita does the same thing Rosita did as even the announcers point out that it’s the same thing.  Back off to Anarquia and Moore who gets a cross body off the top for two.

Moore goes to the floor and Anarquia slides into the ring skirt, getting caught behind it in a somewhat creative spot.  Asai moonsault takes Hernandez down but Sarita comes in again to turn the tide.  Shouldn’t a big powerful heel tag team not need girls to take over on some punks?  Backbreaker submission goes on Moore by Hernandez and a slam move gets two.

Moore plays Ricky Morton as every female wrestling fan that was a teenager in the 80s screams in terror.  Moonsault press mostly misses Anarquia and it’s hot tag Neal minus the pop.  Cross body out of the corner gets two.  Moore gets a Cactus Clothesline to take Anarquia to the floor but it’s Border Toss time.  That doesn’t connect but neither does the Mooregasm due to Rosita.  Hernandez uses a sitout Dominator for the pin on Neal.  He almost landed on his head but the hair shielded him.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match at all and even decent at times, but this was the walking definition of generic.  It’s as paint by numbers as you can possibly get but at the same time that’s just fine.  Decent enough opener and nothing to really complain about.  Nothing to get excited about either but this was completely fine.

The announcers talk about what happened on Impact and get interrupted by the Jarretts’ music.  Karen is on crutches and is in a cast/walking boot.  Jeff says that Karen was giving orders to the hired help and stepped on an action figure.  The fans LOUDLY chant BS as apparently she has a bad sprain and it’s broken in two places.  The tag match is off and cue Foley.  He says he looked at the x-ray and that apparently it was of a 6’6 African American male.  The match is on because wrestling matters.  Karen throws the walking boot at Foley as he leaves.

Brian Kendrick is apparently facing Robbie E tonight in an added match.  He talks about language and talks about how the X-Division is awesome and how it’s not just about small people.

Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick

Kendrick does his meditation thing pre-match with the hood over his head.  Hmm, Robbie has his opponent on the mat with his head covered and with him not looking.  What in the world should he do?  He pulls the hood back and gets beaten up for his efforts.  Kendrick, robe/whatever still on meditates more and keeps fighting him off.  I can’t decide if he’s more like Mr. Miyagi or Obi-Wan-Kenobi.

Cookie goes after Kendrick and is told God has a plan for her.  Robbie knocks him to the floor in his first offense.  Kendrick’s mouth is busted.  Middle rope elbow gets two on Kendrick who is still in that robe.  Suplex on the floor but the second is reversed by Kendrick.  Back in the ring a missile dropkick gives Kendrick control and there goes the robe.  Robbie can’t get the neckbreaker and a leg lariat ends this.  Time for meditation.

Rating: C-. Not bad again but this was just an extended Impact match.  Not bad but at the same time there’s no real point to this for the most part.  Granted it’s an added match so you can’t really complain about much.  I’m curious as to where this leads to a very small extent as the whole X-Division thing has been done over and over again and it never goes anywhere long term.

Kendrick tries to “bond” with both of them post match and it doesn’t go that well.

Tara is asked about the match tonight and is asked who she wants to win.  Before she can answer Madison pops up and says it’s all about her.  Tara is told to stay in the back tonight.

We recap Mickie vs. Madison.  Tara was forced to leave so Madison brought her back on the condition that she had to work for Madison.  Mickie won the title from Madison in about 8 seconds at Lockdown so tonight it’s title vs. Tara’s contract.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Madison looks hot but her tiara looks like the hat the Pope wears.  The religious leader, not Dinero.  Tara pops up just after the bell.  Well at least we’re longer than the previous month’s match.  We hit the floor quickly and Mickie is sent into the steps.  Madison drops her by the hair for two.  All Rayne so far.  Tara won’t hit Mickie when Madison tells her to.  Mickie grabs a neckbreaker to get us back to even.

Tara still won’t hit her and we get some pinfall attempts.  Down goes the referee and Mickie gets kicked in the thigh I think.  Madison revives the old loaded glove trick but Tara steals it away.  Mickie can’t get the DDT and Madison gets a rollup with a handful of Dukes for two.  Mickie gets a flapjack and a nip(ple) up but the Thesz Press takes down the referee again.  Rayne Drop can’t hit and it’s DDT time.  Tara comes in with the loaded glove and hits Madison to zero shock and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Really awkward match here as the ending was exactly what they hinted at the entire time.  Tara vs. Madison is up next I guess so I guess Mickie now faces…Winter maybe?  I really have no idea but it should be ok I guess.  Should be interesting either way I suppose.  Yeah I have nothing else to say here.

Fourtune says they’ll win tonight.  Tonight Max Buck can’t be a star if he was thrown by a ninja.  Cool line.  AJ vs. Dreamer is no DQ.  Beer Money makes fun of Harris and says AMW is done.

X-Division Title: Max Buck vs. Kazarian

If there are five members of Fourtune, why does the song say Fourtune Four?  Technical stuff to start us off with neither guy getting an extended advantage.  Kaz is in long tights tonight in a new look for him if my memory is right.  Max sends him into the corner but Kaz jumps over him and gets a reverse X-Factor for two.  That was a rather smooth looking counter indeed.

The fans aren’t that pleased here it seems.  Out to the floor with Max in control as he shouts Come On Frankie.  Jawbreaker gives Max more control and a dropkick gets two.  We hit the mat and Kaz gets beaten on even more.  Kaz gets a gutwrench suplex off the middle rope to put both guys down.  Spinwheel kick gets no cover for the champ.

Springboard legdrop gets two.  Fade to Black is countered so Kaz settles for a jumping neckbreaker for two.  Fade to Black is countered again into a Buckle Bomb as Max takes over again.  Elevated DDT sets up a 450 for two.  Surprised by that kickout.  Kaz punts him kind of and a sunset bomb sends Max head first onto the concrete.  That sounded sick.  THAT gets two as this is a better match than I was expecting.  Fade to Black STILL can’t hit but a Shining Wizard ends Buck finally.

Rating: B. Match of the night so far and a rather unexpectedly long and decent match.  There was zero drama which hurt things a lot here but the match was really quite good.  The ending was a bit abrupt but it was still a good outing by both guys which came out of nowhere, which is always a nice perk.

Abyss says it’s going to take more than Janice to get rid of him.  He keeps going despite everything that’s happened to him.  The teeth he got knocked out of his mouth were delicious apparently.  He has Crimson tonight.

Quick recap of Crimson vs. Abyss says that Crimson injured Abyss and is undefeated.  This is revenge time.  Simple and sweet I guess.

Crimson vs. Abyss

They charge at each other after a brief staredown and it’s a battle of the big men.  Shoulder block takes Abyss down and a clothesline sends him to the floor.  Out to the floor as this is mostly just a brawl.  All Abyss here.  This is one of those slow matches where a lot of the match is one guy (Crimson in this case) laying around while Abyss moves very slowly.

Crimson tries a comeback and a double clothesline puts both guys down.  More power man stuff leads to a chokeslam by Abyss for a very close two.  And hey it’s time for Janice.  The referee wisely runs off to the floor instead of DQing Abyss.  Since it would be near murder for that to hit Crimson he gets a spear for two.

Shock Treatment doesn’t work as Crimson gets a double arm DDT for two.  Abyss comes back again and a Vader Bomb gets two.  Corner splash misses and Crimson gets a Sky High Powerbomb (Red Sky) to end this.  That’s a good finisher for him as that Red Alert is almost impossible to hit on big guys.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a match that got better with the finish.  Abyss not having enough to put Crimson down is a nice addition to his whole undefeated streak.  Better than I expected and not bad at all for a battle of the big men.  Crimson could be something interesting if pushed right but they need to get him onto something significant quickly.

We recap Beer Money vs. Matt/Harris which is a weird team to say the least.  Basic idea is Harris knows Storm so that’s their advantage.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Matt Hardy/Chris Harris

The former partners start us off as Harris’ tights say America’s Most Wanted.  The fans chant Braden Walker and it’s off to Matt before any contact.  The champs take over on Matt as Walker is indeed bigger than he was the last time we saw him.  Now it’s Harris in against Storm’s new “partner”.  Off to Storm now and Harris runs off as Storm glares at him.

The challengers keep using AMW moves on Storm in an attempt at psychology but the gut of Harris keeps covering it up.  Codebreaker out of nowhere puts Matt down but Storm needs a tag.  Double tag to ZERO reaction and Roode plays face in peril again.  Roode gets his back worked on via a middle rope elbow by Hardy and it’s off to a gutwrench.

Finally off to Storm who gets to beat on Harris.  Skin the cat sets up an elevated DDT to Harris.  Reverse tornado DDT gets two for Storm.  He likes those DDTs I guess.  Matt breaks up DWI but it’s a Backstabber for him.  Catatonic doesn’t work and Roode hits a spinebuster to Harris.  The Beer Money shout sets up a superkick to Harris but Storm doesn’t want to do DWI.  Instead it’s the Death Sentence (Trash Compactor for you REALLY old school fans) and Harris is done.  Matt apparently just walked off and left Harris somewhere near the end.

Rating: C-. Just a match here as Harris dragged this WAY down.  He’s terribly out of shape and his selling and timing were way off.  It seems like the Harris thing is probably going to lead to an AMW reunion because that’s the best way to use a guy like Storm right?  Either way, weak match and not much to write home about at all.

Ray yells at Borash a bit “because he can.”  JB asks about Dreamer and Ray says it’s none of his business.  Ray and Dreamer know why Dreamer is doing what he’s doing and JB doesn’t need to know.  Apparently AJ needs to drink, listen to rock and roll and chase women.  Ray threatens AJ’s family, including implying sex with AJ’s wife.

Tommy Dreamer vs. AJ Styles

Very basic technical match to start and remember that this is no DQ.  Why Immortal isn’t out there destroying AJ immediately eludes me but whatever.  Dreamer takes over for a bit and drops a bunch of elbows.  Out to the floor and AJ hits a plancha to take over.  AJ pours a soda over Dreamer’s head and crotches him on the railing.  He slides under the railing and it’s forearm time.  Love that move.

Out into the crowd because that’s just what we do.  The fans chant ECW which is I guess what TNA wants to do.  Dreamer breaks a cardboard Impact (no wrestling) sign over his head and AJ is bleeding from around the temple.  Back to ringside and it’s time for some weapons.  AJ gets a shot in and there’s a table.  Table gets set up as the fans want fire.  AJ uses the table like a launch ramp for a clothesline in the corner for two.

DDT by Dreamer gets two as AJ is under the ring ropes.  I love little rules like that which are cool while there are all kinds of weapons in the ring.  Dreamer finds a fork for a throwback to their I Quit match but AJ blocks it.  Dreamer’s shirt is off and I’m very glad he has a muscle shirt under it.  The table legs are broken but AJ says Dreamer is going through it.

Dreamer gets a shot in and sets for the Dreamer Driver only to get caught with a Pele.  Styles Clash is set but Ray comes in with a chain shot to AJ.  Daniels comes out for the save but AJ is more or less dead.  Piledriver through the table marks the second time that Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles on PPV.  I give up.

Rating: C-. Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles twice on PPV in less than a year.  Dude, WHY IS TOMMY DREAMER PINNING AJ STYLES ON PPV???  The match was just ok but at the same time it was nothing past a basic hardcore match and Ray coming in was about as not shocking as anything you could have asked it to be.

We recap the Jarretts vs. Angle/Chyna.  Basically Chyna is there to take care of Karen and that’s about it.  Velvet Sky was the prime suspect and that went nowhere.

Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle/Chyna

This should be….interesting.  Christy points out that it’s guy on guy and girl on girl.  Those exact words.  TNA seems rather sexually frustrated tonight for some reason.  Chyna looks like Captain America.  We get a vague reference to Chyna and Jarrett feuding over the IC Title back in WWF without saying any of that of course.  The guys start because we haven’t seen that in awhile right?

Loud Angle chant to start us off as Karen is about to cry.  Chyna’s Gonna Kill You according to the crowd.  Chyna gets tagged in and Karen hides on the floor.  Jeff sneaks around and comes in as apparently he’s still legal so Kurt doesn’t have to be tagged in.  Ankle lock goes on but Karen’s distraction leads to her being almost fed to Chyna.  Gorgeous dropkick by Jeff puts Kurt down.

The fans want Chyna which means she might do a total of one move.  Jeff and Kurt do the majority of the work here as you would expect them to.  Kurt snaps back into it (OH YEAH!) and a belly to belly gets two.  Angle Slam can’t hit and it’s Rolling Germans time.  Jeff takes over again and says it’s over.  Stroke is countered into the ankle lock but Jeff escapes.  Angle Slam hits for two.

Chyna finally gets tagged in and (mostly) slams Jeff.  Supelx looks a bit weird and Karen says I love you but no.  Chyna goes after Karen in full on stalker mode but Karen walks into Kurt in the ring.  Chyna gets her and hits a splash/clothesline in the corner.  Pedigree hits and Tenay calls it a DDT.  That has to be better than the powerbomb.  Ankle lock goes on but Jeff won’t let her tap.  Angle grabs one on Jarrett and Karen taps.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to grade this so we’ll go with it right in the middle.  While it wasn’t much, this was more or less exactly what they had to do.  Chyna isn’t tested in the ring recently and Karen can’t wrestle so they let the guys have a quick match and let Chyna hit like two moves to end it.  The feud is likely going to continue unless they had the weakest blowoff in recent memory.  Not great, but exactly what it was destined to be.

We get the same recap video from Impact (I think).  Nothing of note here: RVD never lost the title, Sting handpicked him for the rematch.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Sting

Anderson, in a Packers Favre jersey and with a laptop at the table apparently, is going to sit in on commentary.  I think he’s doing a live chat during the PPV.  No big match intros here.  Very basic and technical stuff to start us off which is a theme tonight.  Both guys miss moves and Van Dam hits the floor for a breather.  That’s a borderline heel move.

RVD takes over as Anderson mentions the heelish aspects to him tonight.  A spinwheel kick in the corner misses as does a Stinger Splash as we head to the floor.  Van Dam tries a leg drop off the railing and hits railing, possibly hurting his knee.  Into the crowd again as Van Dam reverses a whip into a wall or something.  Anderson makes PG jokes because those haven’t been done in SO long right?

Van Dam gets kicked into a guard rail up in the crowd and both guys are down.  Sting gets kicked down the stairs and dove on in a cool spot.  Back in the ring and it’s the kick off the top by Van Dam as this has been the main event brawl so far.  Knees to the back counter Rolling Thunder and Sting is fired up.  Another Stinger Splash misses in the corner as does the Five Star.

Rollup gets two for Sting and the Death Drop actually hits for….the completely clean pin out of absolutely nowhere.  That’s one of the most anticlimactic endings I have ever seen in my entire life.  Anderson kept running his mouth the entire time and again, absolutely nothing happened here.  He has something special for Sting on Impact apparently.

Rating: C-. Sweet goodness man TNA can’t get a main event to work well for the life of them it seems.  Sting winning isn’t a shock but there was NOTHING as far as an ending sequence there.  Literally Sting grabbed the move, hit it and we were done.  No kickouts, not big segment, just a totally clean win.  Not a bad match, but dude, that’s it?

Anderson goes to the ring and stares him down and we’re out.

Overall Rating: C+. This was such a played close to the vest show that it was unreal.  It was a decent show and there isn’t a bad match on the card, but nothing is great at all and the best match is only good at best, being the X Title match.  It’s a decent enough show but it’s a show that didn’t need to exist for the most part.  Nothing really happened here and other than Chyna’s first match in like ten years, nothing is going to be memorable about this as far as I can tell.  Decent enough show though and it held my interest for about 90% of it, but definitely not worth $40 or whatever it costs.

Results

Mexican America b. Ink Inc – Sitout Dominator to Neal

Brian Kendrick b. Robbie E – Leg lariat

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Pin after Tara hit Rayne with a loaded glove

Kazarian b. Max Buck – Shining Wizard

Crimson b. Abyss – Red Sky

Beer Money b. Matt Hardy/Chris Harris – Death Sentence to Harris

Tommy Dreamer b. AJ Styles – Piledriver through a table

Kurt Angle/Chyna b. Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett – Ankle lock to Karen Angle

Sting b. Rob Van Dam – Scorpion Death Drop

Starrcade 1983
Date: November 24, 1983
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 15,447
Commentators: Bob Caudle, Gordon Solie

So here we are at the real granddaddy of them all. This is before Hogan won the title and changed wrestling forever, as this is before PPV and nearly a year and a half before Wrestlemania and was shown on closed circuit instead. This is Starrcade.

The idea here is the original supershow, with all of the best talent from the NWA coming together for one mega blowout of a show with the headlining match being Ric Flair vs. Harley Race in a steel cage for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship, giving us the tag line of A Flare for the Gold. No one had ever dreamed of something like this being possible, but here it is.

This is pretty much all of the territories coming together in one place for one show to show off how amazing the NWA was and it worked at an amazing level. This is certainly in the category of shows that you have to see once in your life as a wrestling fan, so let’s do it.

There’s no traditional intro as it’s just the ring announcer saying this is Starrcade, which does indeed sound cool.

Russian Assassins vs. Rufus R. Jones/Bugsy McGraw

The Assassins are just known as one and two here, although two is more commonly known as Hercules, which is what I’ll be calling him. The others are more or less glorified jobbers. There really is no point to this match other than to have a tag match for the opener. I like their style if nothing else. The Assassins are in masks by the way, and Jones is the Mid-Atlantic champion. The ring and the arena are VERY retro looking.

McGraw is just a fat bald man. There really is no way to tell the heels apart. Gordon Solie is just sweet on the mic and I love it. McGraw is either completely insane or just stupid. Gordon butchers Schiavone’s name. I think Assassin 1 started but I’m not sure. Jones is kind of like Rocky Johnson: an over the top gyrating black man. He’s dancing all over the place and it looks completely stupid. He’s the freight train apparently. We keep hearing about McGraw’s education.

Better than his football background I suppose. The heels remind me of the Killer Bees. I think that’s bad though as they’re far from intimidating. This leg gyrating from Jones is annoying as any and goodness. The Assassin in there is fatter than should be allowed. Jones is just a disturbing looking man.

I think Hercules just came in but I’m not sure. I think McGraw is wrestling in slow motion. It’s odd looking. Jones does this weird thing where he uses both fists at once on a punch. Not bad I guess. And one of the Assassins rolls up McGraw for the pin. Well alright then.

Rating: D+. This was a weird match. It was like it was supposed to be a squash but they weren’t sure who was getting squashed. The Assassins were ok but the outfits were exactly alike and it’s so dark that it’s hard to tell who is who out there. The faces were….just bad.

I have no idea what the thought here was other than give two popular guys a match, which is what I think they did. I can’t find any story or history between these guys anywhere, so I think it was just thrown on to get the Mid-Atlantic champion on the card since this was in his territory, and that’s ok. The match still sucked beyond all belief though.

The announcers hype up the show and I bow to Gordon Solie. The guy is so clear and crisp that it’s amazing. He sounds like a news anchor like Walter Cronkite or something like that and it’s just awesome. Apparently Dusty is here tonight to challenge the winner of the match, because we can’t go one night without Dusty being on camera. You know, it’s the biggest show of all time, so Dusty has to be around at the end right?

We go to the back with Tony, for what is apparently a first. Yes, this is allegedly the debut of the locker room interview. In something that is a sign of the times, we see Flair in the background explaining something to someone whose face we can’t see. As Tony is explaining what would become a staple of wrestling, the man stands up and it’s Roddy Piper. He’s just a young face back then but this would be one of his biggest matches ever so that would change everything for him.

Johnny Weaver/Scott McGhee vs. Kevin Sullivan/Mark Lewin

This has a 45 minute time limit? Really? This more or less is the same thing as the previous match but without a regular tag team in the Assassins. Weaver is a veteran here and more or less a jobber to the stars. He’s most famous for being the first guy to use a move called the Weaver Lock, which is more commonly known as the sleeper. Kevin Sullivan is up from Florida where he was doing a satanic thing with Lewin, who was known as the Purple Haze there.

See what I have to work with here? Lewin does this weird dancing thing that’s just annoying as all goodness. McGhee never did anything of note in his career. Weaver just looks old. Oddly enough McGhee is maybe the best in here. He’s very crisp and good in the ring which is a nice surprise. Caudle is just going over the card and not really talking about the match at all which is usually a telling sign.

Apparently there’s a rule that says your arm has to be through the ropes instead of over it for a tag. That’s most interesting and I’ve never heard of that but that works I guess. Lewin is freaking built. He has a devastating hand on the back of McGhee’s neck. The heels are completely dominating here and it’s not even close. And then after Weaver is in there for awhile, the heels work the arm.

Lewin goes up and drops a knee on the arm…for the pin. Now THAT is something you wouldn’t see ever again I wouldn’t think. Post match the heel manager gives Lewin something and he stabs the faces with it, drawing some good blood from McGhee. King Kong Mosca, a freaking monster, comes in for the save after getting beaten up a bit too.

Rating: D. Again this wasn’t much at all. It just wasn’t that interesting and there was more or less no story at all. The heels winning twice in a row isn’t the best idea I don’t think either, as it kind of takes the life away from the crowd. It was boring as all goodness too with the arm thing coming from beyond left field. I have no clue what they were going for here but it failed. The wrestling is ok I guess, but it just wasn’t working at all.

There are very limited transitions between the matches as one guy is leaving and the other referee comes in for the next match. It’s just different to say the least. It’s not bad or anything but just odd. There’s no music either and it’s very different.

A woman announcer is with a family from South Carolina who are the epitomes of country hicks. They say Flair will win. WWE needs to do more stuff like that today: interacting with fans. It took maybe 10 seconds and the fans got into the show. That’s just fun.

Tony is in the heel locker room with Harley Race, the Briscos and Greg Valentine: the World Champion, the tag champions and the US Champion. Good night that’s a ton of talent in there. Race says that even though he hates being in Greensboro, he’s ready as his friends have been filling him in on Flair’s weaknesses.

That was a big part of the match and show: Race is in Flair’s backyard for this match so he thinks it’s unfair. More or less Flair is about as clear of a winner as Austin was vs. Shawn at Mania 14, but that’s fine sometimes as it’s about the moment instead of the match itself.

Abdullah the Butcher vs. Carlos Colon

Sixty minute time limit here again. This is a match that was banned in Puerto Rico so we’re doing it here in America instead. Colon is more commonly known as Carlito and Primo’s father and about as big of an attention hog as Jerry Lawler in Memphis. Butcher is the epitome of a journeyman who would go around the world wrestling in territories at a time but never staying around long enough to be thought of as boring.

He was the first WWC Champion in Puerto Rico, which was rather surprising actually. I think Solie coins the Wild Man from the Sudan name here. We get the fork about 10 seconds into the match so they’re not waiting at all. To give a little context to this, Carlito was six here and Primo was less than a year old during this match.

I could listen to Gordon talk all day. This is just a brawl for the most part with mainly punches and headbutts. Colon gets a really bad figure four on but Abdullah’s manager hits him to break up the hold and give Butcher the pin. The man was more commonly known as Hugo Savinovich, or the commentator for the Spanish broadcast table.

Rating: D. This was just a brawl, but at less than five minutes we just didn’t have enough to get anything going. It’s fine I guess, but with four minutes and nothing but punches and headbutts, I can’t get into something like that. This would have been a lot better with no rules and maybe 5 to 8 more minutes, but in this form it wasn’t working.

We go to the back with Mosca who has his arm taped. He’s refereeing the tag title match for no apparent reason but that’s apparently already been determined. His voice is just funny as he sounds like a combination of Vito Corleone and Jerry Stiller from King of Queens. He says Flair is completely ready and picks him for the winner. The absolutely HILARIOUS part here though is that he goes on this rant against the heels earlier, saying that’s not needed in wrestling. That’s all fine and good.

He goes on a rant about how he fights for young people everywhere. Odd again but that works I guess as he’s starting a feud I guess with the heels from earlier. What cracks me up is we pan to the ring and McGhee from earlier is sitting there bleeding from the head and looking completely unconscious while Mosca has his arm wrapped up and a towel on him. It looks completely hilarious and like something out of an SNL skit. It’s great stuff indeed.

The woman from earlier is with two more fans who say they both think Flair wins tonight. Again, what’s so hard about doing this?

Wahoo McDaniel/Mark Youngblood vs. Dick Slater/Bob Orton

In a moment that I freaking want to scream because of, we get the introductions and the ring announcer leaves. All of a sudden he’s talking again and after a quick microphone issue, he announces that Dusty Rhodes is here! OH GIVE ME A BREAK YOU FAT TUB OF GOO! Seriously, after three matches with a limited story to no story at all, we get to a match that actually has a backstory that the people would more than likely want to see.

In other words, we’re past the fluff matches and can get to the meat of the show, meaning that the show is likely going to pick up the pace a bit here. That’s a good thing right? I would certainly think so. However, since we’re improving things, we CLEARLY need Dusty here. The guy isn’t even wrestling here tonight but he has to inject himself in the very end of the show so he’s the last thing people remember.

Dusty was a great talker, but he couldn’t wrestle to save his life, so instead he jumps…no that would require moving. He latches on with the teeth that have never met a cupcake they could resist “putting over” (read as devour and suck the life out of) to matches that are going to be far better than his so that his name is associated with them, so that later on people think of a good match like this one and associate it with Rhodes. That’s just pathetic and makes HHH and Shawn’s antics look like Mother freaking Teresa. In case you can’t tell, I FREAKING HATE DUSTY RHODES.

Anyway, back to the match. The story here is simple: Race had put a bounty out on Flair. Whoever could put him out of the sport would get $25,000 cash. Orton and Slater gave Flair a spike piledriver and collected the money. Flair came back with a ball bat and said he was going to kill them and then get back in the title hunt, which tonight is the culmination of. Youngblood and McDaniel are Flair’s friends and told him to worry about Race and they’ll take care of Orton and Slater, leading us here.

See what a story can do for you? Mark is Jay Youngblood’s brother who you will see later on. Amazingly Orton’s arm is perfectly fine. McDaniel is one of the toughest wrestlers and athletes in wrestling history. He had all of four moves, but he had charisma to burn. He gets a hot tag and the crowd is on fire. He chops the heck out of the heels but gets taken down to more or less change places with Youngblood.

Wahoo and Slater fight on the floor with nothing at all going on. This is formula based stuff but it’s fast paced and the crowd is responding to it so I’m happy with that. In the ring we get the superplex from Orton for the pin. These endings have no heat but I think that’s a cultural thing. The crowd is definitely into the show though. Post match the heels try to hurt Wahoo’s arm to great heat.

Rating: C+. Like I said it was a formula based match which is fine. It worked pretty well I thought but it was decent enough stuff. It’s the first match with a story behind it which helps a lot as well. We have a reason to care about it and you want to see the heels get their comeuppance. However, for the fourth straight match the faces loses, which makes me question the booking. To be fair though, there were only two matches that really mattered here and this was just an appetizer, so I think it’s ok.

Tony is with Flair, Steamboat and Jay Youngblood. They all say that they’re ready. Jay mentions that all of them have been in the gym training. That’s something that’s taken for granted: the insane training that these people have to do. Considering the insane travel schedule, it’s very impressive that they manage to get in the gym for obviously hours a day and work themselves into great shape. That really is impressive.

Dusty is at ringside and talks about wanting a title shot at the winner. They mess up the audio though so we have to hear Gordon say he’s talking about history. See, even God doesn’t want to hear from Dusty’s fatness. Oh apparently the Common man can’t stay in the fans and has to go back to his box. Oh come on now.

TV Title vs. Mask: Great Kabuki vs. Charlie Brown

Charlie Brown is Jimmy Valiant in a mask. It’s a Mr. America kind of deal where it’s obviously him but he’s trying to be funny or something. The modern equivalent would be Paul Burchill from a few weeks ago for you people that don’t get my six year old reference. This is an interesting concept as the TV Title has very short, as in about 15 minutes long, time limits, but this goes for sixty.

The idea is that the match can go up to that long, but if the match goes over 15, the title can’t change hands and the mask can’t be lost. I actually like that. It keeps the match from going to the annoying time limit and we’re more or less guaranteed to have a winner. I like that a lot. Kabuki is a somewhat stereotypical Japanese wrestler, although he invented the green mist of death and pain. Valiant looks like Santa Claus.

The mask covers about half of his face so it’s pretty freaking dumb but whatever. Valiant is beating the tar out of the champion, which makes perfect sense. He throws on the absolute weakest and worst sleeper I’ve ever seen. It looks like something you would put on your friend in seventh grade. Now apparently the sleeper was invented in the Orient. Keep your freaking stories straight.

Ok now we hit sleeper number twp and it’s somehow even worse. Valiant is one of those guys that’s all flash and more or less no skill at all. Oh look it’s a claw from Kabuki to just suck the freaking life out of this match even more, because we’re six minutes in so we clearly need rest hold number three. Oh look Valiant is no selling and dancing. There’s claw number two. Seriously, this has been eighty percent rest holds.

What I want to know: WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY RESTING FROM??? I really hate wrestlers that get up after being in a finishing hold for like two minutes on nothing but “adrenaline” or whatever. Oh for the love of pizza it’s the THIRD CLAW OF THE MATCH. Make that four. He keeps breaking it for a short comeback or more offense and then we go back to the claw. Holds like that are one thing, but mix it up a bit I beg of you.

Oh apparently the mask can’t be removed until the match ends. That’s stupid but whatever. They’re back up now so I’m a bit happier I suppose. And then Valiant hits some punches, Kabuki misses a charge in the corner and an elbow drop ends it. Seriously, it was just a regular elbow drop and nothing more.

Dude, is it that hard to get something like, oh I don’t know, ANYTHING BUT A FREAKING ELBOW DROP?? That gets the TV Title, which he would vacate in a few months anyway, more than likely so he wouldn’t have to job.

Rating: F. Seriously, we had a ten minute match and NINE rest holds. There is just no validation for that and both guys are guilty of it. And also, a freaking elbow? I know it’s 1983, but dude, you can’t use a splash or a piledriver?

A radio show host says Flair will win. Solie is just freaking awesome and has a great look. He just looks and feels like an announcer. He and Caudle, who is fine in his own right, run down the rest of the card.

Slater, Race and Orton are in the back and talk about Flair and the bounty. I see why this is the first time I’ve ever heard Slater talk.

Since it’s been fifteen minutes, it must be DUSTY TIME!!! Yes, he’s here AGAIN to talk about what he wants to do after the match is over, because we can’t just have the match itself and the big ending with Flair winning the title in a big emotional moment end the show. That’s blasphemy, BLASPHEMY I TELL YOU!!!

Greg Valentine vs. Roddy Piper

This is the famous collar match, which for a very long time after this was considered the most brutal match in wrestling history. Now this is billed as being for the US Title which Valentine holds, but for no reason that I’ve been able to find other than the gimmick being added, it’s sometime later changed to be non title, so despite the ending with Piper winning which I’m relatively sure isn’t much of a spoiler, he wouldn’t win the title for about another sixteen years.

I never quite got that but it didn’t matter much anyway as Slater would get the belt about three weeks after this and Piper would be working for Vince by the end of the year, or less than five weeks after this. He actually worked for both companies at the same time for awhile, which is unheard of really. This is a rematch from April when Valentine took the belt from Piper because he badly injured Piper’s ear, resulting in Piper being legitimately 75% deaf in it which I don’t think ever healed.

They’re tied around the neck with this huge chain which looks awesome. It’s pinfall to win here so that opens up the doors for a lot of violence. They immediately start by just pulling their heads back and having a tug of war, which really is a good looking visual. They’re starting very slowly here but it’s a slow build which is usually the best thing you can do.

They both get lengths of the chain together and whip each other with it which has to hurt badly. This is a blood feud so it’s working very well as far as atmosphere goes. Valentine gets Piper down by going for the ear and then wraps the chain around Piper’s eyes. That is not only dangerous but it looks awesome. You have to remember there’s nothing to go on here as this is really the first big time gimmick match other than a cage in the mainstream.

You would have things at house shows but it would never be seen otherwise. Piper gets control and wraps the chain around his mouth like a gag which also looks awesome. Piper wraps the chain around the post so Greg is more or less tied to the corner. They’re doing a ton of cool spots and ideas here. That almost always makes a match like this better. Valentine is busted.

Piper is just beating the tar out of him but Valentine gets a shot to the ear and Piper is in trouble. Either Piper’s ear is legitimately hurt or he’s the best acting wrestler of all time. The thing about an injury like that is that it’s very easy to be legitimately hurt with something like that. Oh man he’s bleeding bad from the ear. In case you can’t tell, this match is AWESOME.

For those of you that might have been wondering, when I said suplay in OCW for suplex, that’s something I stole from Solie who used it here. This is a very stiff match with them beating the heck out of each other. Valentine goes up top and Piper pulls him down and just GOES NUTS on him with shot after shot and it’s epic. Valentine comes back with shots to the ear so Piper just starts throwing punches, and I don’t mean wrestling punches.

He’s throwing jab after jab to the nose of Valentine and it looks great. Valentine drops a knee after a choke and Piper keeps kicking out at one which is a great screw you to Valentine. Just as I say that, Solie says that Piper might be winning the psychological battle. We get a suplex and both guys are just out of it. Valentine hits a sleeper which makes sense here given how tired they are and the blood loss, unlike in the previous match where it was put on three minutes into the match.

Valentine goes up to the middle rope but Piper pulls him down and just goes the heck off on him, beating the living crap out of him with it and tying his legs together for the pin. Post match Piper is congratulated as Solie says that wasn’t for the title. Then Valentine just lays a freaking beating on him with the chain and the fans freak out. This was AWESOME.

Rating: A. This was a great match and a great fight. It was completely violent and they beat the living tar out of each other here, which is all you could ask for. Piper got his revenge for the blowoff, but both guys would be gone within just a few months if not weeks to Vince, which is ok. Either way, this was great and is well worth going out of your way to see.

The announcers talk about the match while we scrape Piper off the mat.

Tony is with Flair for the second time tonight as he plays messenger boy for Flair and Race. Flair says he’s ready and thanks Wahoo for helping him, saying that tonight it’s Flair and Race and no help for Race in the cage. That’s simple but effective. Wahoo who is next to him says he thinks Flair will win.

That woman is with Don Kernoodle, who was Sgt. Slaughter’s old partner and he also says Flair wins tonight.

Tag Titles; Jay Youngblood/Ricky Steamboat vs. Brisco Brothers

Yes this is Jerry the Stooge Brisco, Mosca from earlier is referee here, wearing a PWI shirt which is odd to see. The faces are WAY over. Jerry stands on the top rope for some reason for his intro. Steamboat and Youngblood are four time champions so this isn’t exactly a first time thing. The Briscos got the titles from them which isn’t mentioned for no apparent reason. Youngblood and Steamboat look a lot alike as do the champions so this could get confusing.

Good freaking night Steamboat is freaking amazing. Solie shows why he’s awesome by saying Jack will be pondering Steamboat after he tags out. That’s just epic. The champions ha been trying to get out of this match as the heels. It’s so weird to see Jerry as a legit wrestler here. In something that might be scary, Youngblood might be as good if not better than Steamboat.

It’s like Capotelli and Morrison in my eyes, as Youngblood would pass away in about two years after having an injury in the ring and his heart messing up because of it. I think he was like 33 or something like that so he would have been around at least another ten years or so. The Briscos really are solid in the ring. Steamboat kills the credibility of Davey Boy Smith by doing the arm lock lift up on Jerry without much of a problem, so there goes that move.

The Briscos use more suplexes than the Steiners. Spellcheck HATED that sentence. Jerry shows his intelligence by shoving a man called King Kong. The challengers just go off on Jerry, finishing him with a gorilla press from Steamboat to Youngblood into a splash. The heels beat up Steamboat after the match ends. Jerry jumps off the top and Mosca just catches him. That never gets old at all. The crowd popped like a cherry for that.

Rating: B. This was by far the best tag match of the night as they used the Midnight Rock N Roll formula before it actually existed so that’s always cool. This worked very well though and they beat the tar out of each other. When Jack Brisco might be the third of fourth best wrestler in a match, it has to be good.

The celebration goes on forever…and we go to the credits? Yeah, in a weird thing, they actually read the credits to us before the main event, which is just stupid, since there’s now far less energy in the show as we had to take time out to do that for no apparent reason.

Tony is with Flair AGAIN but doesn’t say anything this time. Instead he’s standing next to him and Charlie Brown comes in and is very happy and says this is for Jimmy Valiant. I hate gimmicks like this. Piper shows up and says it’s not over with Valentine. Actually it was. Steamboat and Youngblood show up after Piper leaves and say that they’re happy with being five time champions which I think is a record at the time. They talk about how they know what it takes to be champions. If that’s the case, why did you lose the belts four times now?

The announcers kill more time.

NWA World Title: Harley Race vs. Ric Flair

Gene Kiniski is the referee which hasn’t been mentioned until just now. Flair’s entrance is freaking huge with lights and music which no one else has had all night. Considering Race’s takes all of a minute, the fact that the intros and introductions take eight minutes says a heck of a lot I’d think. Race is a seven time champion here and Flair is a two time champion, so it’s not like this was some big Austin moment for him but rather an epic showdown moment.

The cage more or less looks like it’s just a fence that’s really tall, as in it looks really cheap. It has no roof on it but apparently no one can get in. In case you didn’t get it, Race was scared of Flair and paid people to hurt him but Flair came back and got the shot here. This is Race’s last hurrah as champion or meaning much of anything in the ring as he never got past the midcard in the WWF. Kiniski, in a cage match, warns people about punches, in a cage match.

Allow me to emphasize that this is in a cage match. Like I said, this isn’t really much in doubt but it’s the road of getting there that makes it important and cool. This starts off as a wrestling match that just happens to be in a cage. For some reason the ring seems bigger in this match which makes no sense. Flair works a headlock for a LONG time. Solie points out that in a football game there’s about 14 minutes of actual game played, which is a very interesting stat indeed.

Race takes over and hits a piledriver but Flair’s hair makes it an average move at best. Race stays in control for a long time and keeps arguing with Kiniski. Flair keeps making small comebacks but they don’t last long which is a standard of good matches. Both guys are bleeding as the cage starts coming into play and we get a WOO! He gets the figure four but the ropes get Race out of it.

Kiniski needs to sit down. He’s gotten involved WAY too much here and it’s just annoying and distracting. It’s about the wrestlers, not the referee. Race takes over again as we’re going for the long….Kiniski grabs Race by the FREAKING HAIR and pulls him away. This is reaching Art Donovan levels of annoyingness. They are just bleeding everywhere. Solie of course sounds like he’s ordering dinner.

Race finally just has enough of Kiniski and headbutts him “by mistake”. I think that might have been a shoot. Flair goes up while Kiniski is on all fours (where’s Sheik when you need him to humble someone?) as Flair comes off with a cross body. The idea was Race tripping over Kiniski for the pin, but Kiniski was WAY out of position so Race misses by about a foot which isn’t his fault as he has to pay attention to the 6’2 240lb man jumping off the top rope at him.

The pin is supposed to be Race just barely not able to kick out, so Kiniski, the greatness that he is, counts like he got run over by a train so Race looks completely freaking stupid. Solie says Flair has done what many people believed to be impossible, even though only the fat load himself was the only person to say he would lose. The faces storm the ring to celebrate.

Rating: A. This was a great old school fight that was given time to flesh itself out and it worked really well. Flair winning was a given, but they made it look good once they were in there so that’s all I ask. It’s a cool moment. Screw that. It’s a legendary moment and has been on a ton of highlight reels.

This was the perfect ending and it works every time, other than that moron Kiniski messing things up and trying to steal the spotlight and make himself important when most people there didn’t know who he was more than likely.

Flair puts the belt on with every face worth anything out there. Mosca just throws Flair on his shoulders and walks him around the ring. That’s just awesome. And he’s still in the ring five minutes later. Oh Flair has a mic. Flair thanks the fans and makes this the first of the greatest nights in his life, of which he would have about 10 over the years.

All the faces leave and we go to the announcers to wrap things up as we talk about Dusty of course, linking him with the other two champions because he’s Dusty and he’ll eat them if they don’t do it.

For the FOURTH time tonight, Tony is with Flair again. He thanks everyone again, mainly Steamboat who comes up to thank him. Champagne starts flowing and here’s Dusty who says he wants a title shot and completely killing the moment because he just has to do that. Bear with me for a moment here as I need to say something.

Dusty Rhodes

You are a worthless human being. You’re so fat that it has taken over the pitiful little thing you like to call a mind and has made you believe that since it’s the only thing you see in a mirror in the morning, you’re all that matters. GET THE HECK OVER YOURSELF. You could talk very well. Flair could talk very well and wrestle even better. You were booker here so you insisted on taking away a great moment from a better wrestler in Ric Flair and you should get raped by an ostrich for it.

To be fair though you wouldn’t notice because the gravitational force of your stomach would suck the thing inside of you. It always had to be about you with Bunkhouse Stampede being a PPV that you designed to make yourself look good. Dusty, no one cared but you. You managed to bring Ric Flair down to a level that no one else could because it had to be about you. You talk with that stupid and annoying country accent and add if you will to every line you say.

Well I have a will also. My will is that you get over yourself. I would say around yourself but at 21 years old I don’t have 45 years to spare which is how long it takes to walk around that planet you call a stomach. You are a waste of air and need to stay far away from anyone else with talent because you might think they’re a big cookie and eat them.

You have managed to ruin more moments and matches than anyone I would have thought possible and you are the worst thing to happen to wrestling in a very long time. I hope you enjoy your life as you’ve certainly managed to ruin enough wrestling moments in everyone else’s thanks to your ridiculous ego.

Ok back now I think.

We go back to the announcers who talk about Dusty’s moment because he’ll eat them if they don’t. We talk EVEN MORE about Flair and how awesome he is and how Race is awesome too.

We go back to Race who says he’s done it 7 times and he’ll do it an 8th time and he’ll beat Dusty Rhodes who he of course has to mention and he’ll beat Flair in a match where he doesn’t have a ton of advantages. Race says he’s not going away, but he actually did. He had a three day reign in New Zealand that isn’t acknowledged by the NWA but other than that he was done.

Ok seriously, WE HAVE SEEN ENOUGH FLAIR, but we get a fifth, count it fifth interview with Tony and Flair as he and the tag champions say they’re the best.

The announcers repeat themselves for the 20th time to finally end this. There was almost 20 minutes of interviews to close that show.

Overall Rating: B. Now before Lariat tries to kill me, a few notes. First of all, this is very subjective as I’m grading it like any other show and not for what it is: the very first of its kind. The opening half is rather poor but the last three matches more than make up for it. This is the living definition of a show that you have to see once as a fan so the recommendation is about as much of a given as you could ask for.

Even graded on a regular scale it’s a great show and for the first of its kind, this would be an easy A at worst. They had zero idea what they were doing here but it worked very well and set the standard for a big show until Wrestlemania came a year and a half later. Definitely check this out at some point but watch Piper and Valentine for sure as it’s amazing. Great show.

Smackdown
Date: May 13, 2011
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It should be interesting to see what happens on Smackdown now that we need to get ready for Over the Limit.  I’d assume we’ll have Randy vs. Christian announced but other than that it’s kind of hard to guess.  We’ll get the fallout from Big Zeke being thrown out of Corre so at least we have that to look forward to.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Christian winning the title and the loss last week.  Both matches were rather good and no one can ever take the time Christian had as champion away.  He got his title, but naturally his fanboys are crying foul over it.  Yes it was a short reign, but he got his title, so be happy for him.

Here’s Christian in the arena to open the show.  He doesn’t have a problem with what Teddy did last week because it was for the fans and he’s cool with that.  If Teddy didn’t do what he did last week then he’s not doing his job.  Christian wants to congratulate the new champion, whose name gets a nice reaction.  The rematch at Over the Limit is confirmed.  Last week he learned that he can beat Orton….and here’s Sheamus.

Sheamus wants to congratulate Teddy for causing Christian to lose what he worked so hard for so quickly.  It’s about what the fans want and according to the Irishman, the fans want to see a match between Sheamus and Christian RIGHT NOW.  And here’s Mark Henry because a match between two guys that could have a rather entertaining match is something we can’t have without a fat tub of goo like Henry right?

Henry says Sheamus isn’t who the people want to see face Christian.  He’s a red headed stepchild that talks funny.  The people are here to see Henry.  A match between the evildoers is teased until Sheamus suggests a handicap match.  Christian jumps Henry but gets beaten down until Orton makes the save.

After a break, Teddy makes the obvious tag team main event.  Christian thanks Randy for the save and Orton says it was to make sure Christian was at 100% for the title match.

Chavo does the ring announcing for the next match.

Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan

What a shock that Bryan had a nice run to start and is now in the middle of the midcard with nothing of note going on at all.  Who would have seen that coming?  The lights are all dark again and Chavo talks about how Cara stole his moves again.  Technical stuff to start and it’s a standoff.  Nice armdrag by Cara but Bryan gets him on the mat and works over the arm.

The fans seem into this but you never can tell on Smackdown.  More armdrags take Bryan down and a Tajiri elbow sends him to the floor.  HUGE Swanton Dive to the floor as we take a break.  Bryan gets a missile dropkick for two as we’re back.  Daniel channels his inner Rockette with some kicks as Cara is in more trouble than he’s ever been.  Surfboard by Bryan which never ceases to amaze me.  Chavo is taking credit for all of these moves being his.

Off to the arm by Bryan as he’s controlled the majority of this.  The good thing about WWE bringing in the more indy/internationally seasoned guys is that it gives them a long list of guys like Primo and Kidd and Bryan that can work a different style if they have to and it’s no problem for them.  Nice addition as WWE keeps going international.  Cara gets a victory roll for two and makes his comeback.  Big cross body off the top gets two for the masked dude.

Cara speeds things up again but an attempt at a second handspring elbow gets caught in a LeBell Lock attempt.  Cara avoids it and we hit the floor as Bryan hits another kick.  Back to the ring and Bryan goes up, only to have Chavo grab his leg.  The distraction lets Cara hit an enziguri to set up the C4 from the top which ends things at 7:37 shown of 11:07.  Not sure if Cara saw Chavo or not but I don’t think he did.

Rating: B. Rather entertaining TV match here with Bryan more than being able to keep up with Cara and using his regular stuff to take down the high flier.  The Chavo stuff is a nice touch and I’m kind of curious as to where it leads.  Maybe something with Cara not knowing what Chavo is saying in English and Chavo saying something different to him in Spanish?  Either way, very good match here and fun stuff indeed.

Post match Cara sees what Chavo did on the replay and isn’t pleased.  Cara shoves him down to a face pop.

We recap the Corre stuff from last week which saw Jackson beat Show with Corre’s help despite him not wanting it.  They beat him up later in the night.

Trace Adkins is here.  He sang at Tribute to the Troops so we’re supposed to care I guess.

Here’s Layla not in wrestling gear.  She hurt her knee in the match at Extreme Rules but it was worth it to get rid of McCool.  And Cole cuts her off.  No one wants to hear about any of the Divas apparently so let’s talk about Jerry Lawler.  Cole rants about the whole HOF thing and says that his mom will love the HOF ring he’s getting from Lawler.  Layla is still in the ring and tells him to shut up.

Cole keeps running his mouth about the Divas, saying they shouldn’t be in the WWE.  And here’s Kharma as this should be interesting.  Cole laughs at Layla while Booker says she’s coming for Cole.  Layla tries to run but gets tripped by Cole.  Implant Buster to Layla as Cole runs his mouth.  Kharma isn’t pleased and Cole backpedals, running into the Colemine.  Kharma laughs at him and leaves.  Cole’s face is great.

Wade Barrett vs. Kane

Non-title I think.  Show is in Mexico this week apparently.  I wonder if he’ll get to buy one of Tito Santana’s enchiladas in Tijuana.  Kane actually grabs a headlock to take Barrett to the mat.  Surprisingly technical stuff here as Kane hits his seated dropkick for two.  Cole makes fun of Booker for mentioning a manager’s license which is rather true actually.  Kane fires off on Barrett who runs.  Cole was a cheerleader in college apparently as we take a break.

Back with Barrett choking in the corner but Kane counters a suplex to take over.  And scratch that as Barrett grabs the arm to take over again.  Back and forth match here to say the least.  Boss Man Slam gets two and it’s back to the arm.  Kane has apparently shrunk down to 6’8 now.  The shrinking monster gets a Samoan Drop to break it up.  So the Spaniard hit a Samoan on the Englishman?

Clothesline in the corner sets up a sideslam for no cover as Slater jumps up for a distraction.  Wasteland doesn’t work as Kane takes Barrett down.  There goes the tag team also thanks to Kane.  Top rope clothesline gets a big reaction surprisingly enough.  Chokeslam is loaded up but Slater and Gabriel run in for the DQ at 6:03 shown of 9:33.

Rating: C+. Not bad here again as Barrett’s in ring work is still something that I like.  Kane is a guy you’re going to get a passable match out of and he works well with other big men so this was a good choice for a match here.  Good little TV match as the first half of this show has been rather entertaining indeed.

Corre beats Kane down post match, including Wasteland and the setup for the 450 but here’s Zeke to his old music for the save.  He destroys Corre for a bit until Barrett gets a big boot in.  And never mind as Jackson spears him into the corner and destroys him.  Jackson gets caught by the tag team again and the beatdown is on again.  450 to Jackson and he’s done.

Here are Singh and Khali, in cowboy hats.  It’s time for a country music edition of the Khali Kiss Cam.  He’s a fan of country music apparently.  This is less of a Kiss Cam and more of looking for a chick for Khali to kiss.  It stops on some chick in the front row (shocking) who bears a striking resemblance to Rhonda Sing.  Just a quick kiss here from the chick named Joy and here’s Jinder Mahal.  He’s taller than he looks, probably about 6’4.  Mahla slaps the hat off Khali and yells in Hindi.  There’s another slap to Khali and Mahal leaves all ticked off.

DON’T BULLY PEOPLE!  And pay no attention to all the bullies we employ!

Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Who would have thought a year ago that Cody would be so far and away ahead of DiBiase?  No entrance for Ted either.  The bag people come out with Cody.  Cody says this is the part where he’s supposed to entertain the people right?  Let’s entertain the fact that he’s not the freak, but rather the people are the freaks.  Cody hands Ted a bag and calls him a Priceless Friend.  Ted throws it down and there’s the bell.

We actually hear about Legacy as Ted takes over as the default face.  There’s that dropkick by Cody but he gets caught in a small package for two.  They exchange some nice rollups and pinning combinations but Ted charges and hits the post to stop the speed dead.  Cody fires off some headbutts with the mask but Ted is fine from them apparently.  Following clothesline by Ted but he can’t hit Dream Street.  Beautiful Disaster sets up Cross Rhodes to end this at 3:15.

Rating: C+. Far better than I was expecting here as Ted is a far better face than a heel.  Cody is one of the coolest heels in a long time because he is into his character.  I’d bet a lot that his papa taught him how to do that, which goes to show what old school can do.  Cody comes off as a guy that actually is tormented and insane rather than playing someone who is tormented and insane which makes a world of difference.

Striker is with Corre who says they want Jackson to come back later.  Barrett challenges Zeke for an IC Title match at Over the Limit.  Didn’t see that one coming.

Randy Orton/Christian vs. Mark Henry/Sheamus

I think Christian’s pop might have been slightly bigger than Orton.  And never mind as Orton’s more or less doubled when he came through the curtain.  Oddly enough the good guys come out first.  Christian vs. Sheamus to start us off.  Booker talks about how Sheamus and Henry have no chemistry yet somehow Christian and Orton would have more.  Why?  Well no one ever accused Booker of making sense.

After some basic stuff with the starters, Henry comes in and runs…..he runs…..ok he waddles over Christian and takes him down but it’s off to Orton who has better luck.  Booker bashes Teddy for making Christian defend last week which is bogus but who cares about that.  We almost get a beatdown on the floor on Orton but Christian makes the save as we take a break.

Back with Henry working over Orton again but Orton gets a shot in to break that up.  Off to Christian who takes Henry down with a dropkick but gets caught ala Flair off the top.  Off to the pale one who hooks on the crossface chickenwing.  Back to Henry who stands on Christian’s chest for a bit.  Christian starts his comeback against Sheamus, hitting the reverse DDT and it’s hot tag time.

Elevated DDT is countered into the Irish Curse for two though and our hero is in trouble.  Brogue Kick misses and there’s the DDT.  Christian gets a blind tag and hits the Killswitch on Sheamus as Orton gets an RKO to Henry.  Christian pins Sheamus at 7:40 shown of 11:10.  They shake hands to end the show.

Rating: C. This was your run of the mill main event tag match.  Not a bad match or anything but at the same time there wasn’t much they were going to be able to do.  I’m not really sure what this accomplished as Henry and Sheamus I guess just want title shots but that’s only implied at the moment.  Either way, not bad but nothing of note at all.

Overall Rating: A-. This was an awesome show and the whole thing worked.  When the worst match is a passable tag match, it’s hard to complain about anything.  You had a bunch of stuff get advanced, a pair of title matches added to the PPV, advancement of some storylines and a new development with Kong going after Cole.  This was a very good show that did a lot in a hurry, which is always a good thing.

Results

Sin Cara b. Daniel Bryan – Top Rope C4

Kane b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Corre interfered

Cody Rhodes b. Ted DiBiase – Cross Rhodes

Christian/Randy Orton b. Mark Henry/Sheamus – Killswitch to Sheamus

Impact
Date:  May 12, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Network’s Revenge

Tonight is a big night for TNA as we find out the identities of both Kurt Angle’s mistress and the network executive.  It should be remembered that last week Sting said a network representative would be here and not necessarily the network representative, so there’s no guarantee this ends tonight.  Oh and Sacrifice is Sunday.  I’m sure we’ll fit that in somewhere if we have time.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of Hogan with his pipe, waiting for the Network representative.  Bischoff comes up and says that he needs to think this through, not beat it out of them.  They should play the game but play to win.

We get a video on the Jarretts and Angle’s mistress.  That transitions into Hogan and Bischoff going through a few possible identities of the representative.

Here are the Jarretts to open the show.  They want a truce with Kurt and say that Karen could never hurt a fly.  It’s a crime to have anyone hurt Karen apparently.  Karen says she’s a good person and has been a good ex-wife.  Everything has been for Kurt, including the restraining order against him.

Here’s Kurt who says it’s done.  After ten years of marriage you would think she’d learn to not push him.  Karen is going to wind up taking Jeff for everything he’s worth before Jeff figures that out.  There’s going to be a mixed tag at Sacrifice between the Jarretts and Angle/the mistress.  Jeff knows who the chick is apparently, despite Angle saying two weeks ago that no one knew who she is.

Miss Tessmacher/Mickie James vs. Tara/Madison Rayne

All four girls looking especially hot tonight.  Tara and Mickie start us off with Tara acting respectful towards Mickie, namely due to the possibility of getting out of her contract with Madison.  Speaking of Madison she comes in being all evil to Mickie with a kick to the head.  Tessmacher comes in and quickly gets a victory roll to Madison for the clean pin at 2:11.  Can we just look at the girls for about two more hours?

Flair goes into Hogan’s office and Hogan rants at Flair, saying he’s the Network rep.  Flair says he was out with a shoulder injury and Hogan apologizes.

A black limo is here.

Tara wants to be free from Madison.  Madison comes up and hears the end of the rant and doesn’t like it.

Tommy Dreamer doesn’t want to talk but says it’s a personal thing.  The interviewer won’t shut up and AJ pops up, also demanding answers.  Tommy says AJ is too young to understand.  AJ says he’s a grown man with three kids and thinks it’s about EV 2.0.  Dreamer still won’t answer so AJ challenges him for Sacrifice.  Dreamer backs off and AJ calls him out on it.  Tommy says maybe no one ever knew him.  He asks what would Tommy Dreamer do, and Dreamer leaves.

Sting is doing a photo shoot with the title and says his hands are full with RVD.  The network person is here apparently.

Here’s Beer Money to find out who Matt’s mystery partner is, implying that it’s Jeff Hardy.  Matt comes out quickly and talks to Roode about calling out Hogan last week.  He gets on Roode for being a worthless drunk as I begin to chuckle.  Matt runs down Canadians like Roode and says he and his partner will win at Sacrifice.

Beer Money comes out to face Matt and James takes a long drink.  He says he’s the man that would walk into a bar, punch you in the face and leave with his girl.  The partner isn’t Jeff, but rather Storm’s old partner: Chris Harris.  WWE fans might remember him as Braden Walker, the guy that was on WWECW for about three weeks.  Harris stares Beer Money down as we go to a break.

Sangriento vs. Suicide

Rematch from last week.  Suicide jumps him to start but gets taken down with relative ease.  Corkscrew plancha to the floor by Sangriento and a dropkick back in the ring take Suicide down.  Suicide fights back as the announcers talk about the identity of the mistress.  Sangriento gets the same double spin kick that Amazing Red uses in the clip from the New York house show to Jay Lethal.

I guess he’s been watching his film (and yes I know who Sangriento is for those that don’t get tongue in cheek humor).  Tornado DDT by Sangriento gets two.  Suicide takes over again for a bit but the springboard cutter from last week returns, giving Sangriento the pin at 3:50.

Rating: C. Not bad here but too short to really get going.  Not sure what the point is to having more or less the exact same match from last week but it certainly wasn’t that bad.  It’s good to see Red getting something to do at least and a quick match like this helps fill in some time so no real complaints here.

Immortal’s leaders in the form of Hogan, Bischoff and Flair come out just after the match ends.  Flair kicks Suicide in the balls and sends him to the floor.  Hogan rants about the Network representative, saying he or she needs to get out here.  The reveal is after the break.

Back and the Jarretts are in the ring also with Jeff in wrestling gear.  And the representative is Mick Foley.  He talks very quickly, saying that Hogan’s plans started to unravel March 3^rd.  Foley piefaces Bischoff and says to Hogan to go ahead and drill him if you want to.  This show is no longer about Hogan but about wrestling.  This is no longer TNA Wrestling, but is rather Impact Wrestling.  The main event is now a 25 man battle royal for the #1 contender spot.

Foley is talking faster than I’ve ever heard him talk here.  Foley brings out Angle’s mistress/partner and it’s Chyna.  Yes, that Chyna.

We recap the segment we just saw and apparently the show is now called Impact Wrestling.  Not sure if the whole name for the company is changing or not.

Foley says wrestling matters here and is very energetic.  Chyna is next to him and he tells her about the main event and wants Chyna to be where Karen is.  Not a word from her yet.  Foley mentions the vague sexual tension between them for a nice throwback line.

Anderson is ticked off about Foley denying him his title shot but he’ll get it tonight.  I assume the winner gets the shot at the PPV after Sacrifice.

Crimson vs. Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

Crimson and Abyss hammer on each other as Joe chills for a bit.  And never mind as Joe hammers on both of them to take over.  Big boot and backsplash to Abyss but Crimson takes Joe down and gets a neckbreaker to Abyss.  Crimson and Joe hammer away on each other and Crimson grabs a cravate and fires in some knees.  Joe gets a powerslam but walks into the Black Hole Slam.  Crimson spears Abyss and steals the pin on Joe at 2:34.  No rating due to the length but this was fine.

Joe gets ready to jump Crimson but Abyss jumps Crimson before Joe does anything.  Joe says cool and leaves Abyss to beat on Crimson.  As Joe leaves he says you live by the sword and die by the sword.  Black Hole Slam to Crimson and Abyss’ bottom teeth are still missing from the kick by RVD.

RVD says he’ll be watching the battle royal for future information.

Battle Royal

25 people in this and more or less everyone you can think of of note in TNA is here.  Most of them are in the ring already so I’ll try to list them.  Everyone in Fourtune, Matt Hardy, Gunner, Jeff Jarrett, Bully Ray, Matt Morgan, British Invasion, Ink Inc, D-Von, Dreamer, Mexican America, Orlando Jordan, Anderson, Steiner, Angle, Eric Young, Robbie E, and I can’t figure out the 25^th.

Both British guys (Williams and Magnus) are out almost immediately due to Morgan.  Add Jordan to that list as well as Anarquia.  All four by Morgan’s hands.  Tenay says the show is now Impact Wrestling on Spike TV.  No word on if the company is still called TNA or not but I’d assume it is.  Young is on the floor but I don’t think he’s been eliminated.  Ah the 25^th is Pope.  That makes me feel better.

No eliminates for awhile now but a lot of the bigger names have come close.  Kaz slides back in as Morgan chokes on Shannon Moore.  There isn’t a ton to say in matches like these in the early going as it’s really just a lot of standing around.  There goes Neal and Shannon back to back thanks to Hernandez.  Morgan throws out his fifth guy in the form of Robbie E.

Eric keeps throwing him self over the top and bringing himself back in.  Then he throws out the TV Champion and eliminates himself.  Eric steals the TV Title and Gunner chases him out so I guess that’s Gunner’s first feud.  We take a break with that.  Back and no one seems to be gone that I can tell.  There appears to be about 15-17 people left.  Storm and Angle both save themselves.

Jarrett eliminates Kaz who might have hurt his knee.  Storm and Matt put each other out so Storm hammers on Matt a bit.  When the referees try to break the argument up Matt pulls Roode out.  Foley jumps in on commentary.  There goes Daniels and Pope is on the floor but not out, as is D-Von.  Morgan sends Hernandez out but Steiner puts out Morgan.  Ray surprises Steiner and we’re down to 8 it appears.

The final 8 are Ray, Anderson, Dreamer, Styles, Jarrett, Angle, D-Von and Pope.  Morgan and Steiner fight up the ramp while Ray pounds on Kurt’s knee.  Ray kicks D-Von in the head for old time’s sake and appears to dance a bit before kicking AJ in the head.  Dreamer is told by Ray to put AJ out.  Ray throw Angle but Kurt hangs on.  Pope fires elbows to D-Von’s head as apparently AJ vs. Dreamer is on for Sunday.

Pope goes to the apron and D-Von charges him, naturally getting caught and eliminated.  Kurt takes Pope out with a clothesline and we’re down to six as we take a break.  Back and only Ray is standing, just as everything was before the break.  Literally everyone is in the same place.  The final six are Jarrett, AJ, Ray, Angle, Anderson and Dreamer.  AJ goes off on Jarrett and Ray but Dreamer takes him down.  Ankle lock to Angle and Dreamer breaks that up also.  Dreamer manages to put AJ out of all things.  Ray puts Dreamer out for his troubles.  AJ drills Dreamer on the floor.

Anderson gets Ray to the apron but can’t get rid of him.  Angle can’t get Jarrett out and Ray makes the save.  Neckbreaker by Anderson takes Ray down and the two of them go to the floor through the ropes.  Angle vs. Jarrett alone with Angle taking over.  Karen saves Jeff from elimination but Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline.  Kurt goes after her and Jeff tosses him.

She gets in the ring as Jeff thinks he’s won but Anderson and Ray are still in it due to going through the ropes.  Chyna comes in and tosses Jeff.  Ray and Anderson both come back in and slug it out with Ray winning said battle.  Big clothesline takes Anderson down but Anderson fights back.  He can’t hit a Swanton as it eats knees.  They go to the apron but Anderson hangs on.  Ray goes for him, only to get slowly pulled out for the Anderson win at 28:10 total.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but battle royals are rather hard to grade.  Anderson winning was pretty obvious given the overcoming the odds deal but that’s fine.  This wasn’t too bad with a long build but the last six guys being in there were a big weak, especially guys like Dreamer and D-Von.  At least we have the next PPV main event set though.

Anderson talks post match, comparing himself to the Navy SEALS that took out bin Laden.  Bit of a stretch there but ok.

Sting says bring on Anderson.  RVD pops up and says not so fast as he’ll be facing Anderson.  Anderson pops up and says it can be either of them at Slammiversary.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was heavy on storyline tonight which is ok, especially when this was the culmination of some big stories.  Sacrifice actually feels like the end of a lot of things rather than just another stop, which is what TNA has been lacking lately.  Not a great show but pretty high on excitement.  The problem is that with so much time going to the main event we didn’t get to a lot of midcard stuff, but I guess that’s ok.  Pretty fun show overall and Sunday is looking good, which is a good sign.

Results

Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Madison Rayne – Tessmacher pinned Rayne with a victory roll

Sangriento b. Suicide – Jumping Reverse Cutter

Crimson b. Samoa Joe and Abyss – Crimson pinned Joe after a Black Hole Slam

Mr. Anderson won a battle royal, last eliminating Bully Ray

This Tuesday In Texas
Date: December 3, 1991
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

The main reason for doing this is simply because it’s the only WWF PPV I haven’t done from the first one ever until King of the Ring 1996. Also it’s kind of an anomaly as it’s held on a Tuesday, hence the name. This is 6 days after Survivor Series where Taker won the world title from Hogan and tonight is the rematch. The other main event tonight is the long awaited showdown between Jake Roberts and Randy Savage which was the hottest feud in the world back then.

It’s just two hours long and they were trying to make Tuesday into another PPV night. Since the next Tuesday show didn’t happen until 2004, you can guess how well this went over. Naturally Vince blamed everything other than his brilliance of having two PPVs in a week since he could never have a bad idea.

I remember reviewing the 91 Survivor Series and being TICKED that Jake and Randy, who were scheduled to be in the main event as team captains and had been advertised until 3 days before Survivor Series were pulled as Savage was “injured”. The thing is, that wasn’t mentioned until Sunday morning and then again at the beginning of the show.

Needless to say, people were furious. Other than the Hogan match, that had been the only reason to buy such a terrible show. Along with the double thing in seven days, I’ve always thought that was why the show bombed. Maybe it was the wrestling. Let’s find out.

There were actually about 5-6 dark matches before the PPV went on the air, with the main one being Flair vs. Piper. Other than that it was a lot of squash matches.

After a standard Texas themed intro and Sean Mooney mentioning the main events, we’re ready to go.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Skinner

If you don’t know who the champion is here, you’re beyond my help. Skinner is in the ring when the champion’s music plays so what do you expect out of this? Bret’s singles push was in full swing here, having beaten Perfect in their classic at Summerslam. Skinner is apparently undefeated at this point, meaning he had beaten about three jobbers or something.

Bret gives some girl the shades and she FREAKS. You would think it was 1999 and she was a 13 year old at an N Sync concert. Bret is crisp here, and given that Steve Keirn, more commonly known as Skinner, is a very good wrestler in his own right means this should be solid. He’s the head trainer in FCW, or at least he was as of a few months ago. We get a WILL YOU BE SERIOUS from Monsoon as those two somehow have more chemistry than Ventura and McMahon.

That’s a very high compliment if there ever was one. Bret goes into the post to turn the tide here. That shouldn’t be a DQ as some commentators freak out about. It’s part of the ring after all. Bret goes into his standard great selling as the clinic on psychology that is a Bret Hart match begins. We get an abdominal stretch and say it with me: Gorilla criticizes it. One of my favorite bits that they do is Gorilla saying something and Heenan repeating it.

That’s just great stuff that you just can’t teach. Danny Davis is the referee here, despite being banned from doing so for life plus ten years. We go through the motions of Skinner working over the shoulder and things are working quite well indeed. Just as I say that, he goes after Bret’s leg and even Gorilla points out how stupid that is. Heenan says that it’s like beating on a lizard and goes into a biology thing, which Gorilla is annoyed with.

The crowd is WAY behind Bret here. Skinner hits his finisher, a reverse DDT, but Bret gets out at two of course. Bret plays possum, and despite the fact that he does this IN EVERY MATCH HE HAS EVER HAD, Skinner falls for it and Bret goes into the original five moves of doom, which of course he doesn’t get through before Skinner breaks up the streak, just like everyone else does.

See, the difference between Hogan and Hart is that while they always finish the same, Bret had a million different ways of getting there while you could plot a Hogan match from bell to bell with relative ease. Skinner goes up top for no apparent reason, and in a great impression of Ric Flair, gets slammed off of it. Sharpshooter goes on and the match goes off.

Rating: B. It’s a formula match, but since Bret is the master of formula matches, ok second master after Flair, this was fine. Skinner was built up as the challenger of the week, he went in and did his stuff, Bret survived and got the tap out. Do that about 10 times and you have yourself a dominant champion, which is exactly what they did and it worked like a charm. This was very solid stuff all around and it worked quite well to open the show. The bad part is that it’s probably going to be the best match of the night.

Jake says he feeds off of the screams of Elizabeth. He gets close to saying he wants to have Savage and Liz. Apparently it’s illegal for him to have a snake tonight. Jake’s heel stuff here is just amazing. He has every inch of this persona down to the letter.

Savage babbles and mumbles more incoherently than Warrior ever dreamed of. His outfit looks like an art supply store exploded on him.

Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage

Savage jumps Jake in the aisle and we’re off. The crowd isn’t cheering so much as roaring. I mean they’re hardcore here. The thing is it’s kind of hard to take Savage seriously here as he’s got a feather on his hat that’s at the very least a foot and a half tall. That’s just freaking huge. Ok good it’s gone now. As for why this feud is happening, Savage had gotten married but Jake wasn’t invited to the bachelor party because he was a heel. Well if nothing else that’s creative.

That led to Savage coming out of retirement to fight him, but one day on I think Superstars, Jake beat down Savage and put his (devenomized) cobra onto Savage’s arm, but it held on too long and the bite was worse than expected. Jake also shoved Liz, which made him the biggest heel in forever. They were supposed to be opposing captains in the Survivor Series main event but due to the cobra attack, Savage was deemed too hurt to fight so we got this instead.

Jake goes kind of low to break the momentum. Savage’s arm is screwed up because of the snake bite injury too. In a nice little touch, Jake rips the bandage off of the arm and there’s blood under the tape. His arm was fine, but they thought about it here enough to make it look like he’s injured worse than he really is.

Since the arm is so hurt Roberts is beating the tar out of Savage. Just as I say that, Savage gets a quick shot in and within 30 seconds he gets Jake down and hits the elbow for the win in a match that felt like it had 3 minutes cut out.

Now we get to the important part though. Savage gets the bell but the referee stops him, allowing Jake to get a quick DDT. Savage is down but Jake is still hurt too so Savage actually beats him to his feet. A second DDT puts Savage out cold though and Jake is up now. After faking leaving, Jake comes back and goes under the ring to pull out a little bag. This doesn’t sound like much but it’s an absolutely INSANE reaction for every tiny movement.

Liz comes running down and is FREAKING on Roberts. Jake is feeding on her fears here and it’s amazing stuff. Savage kind of gets up and he takes an unprecedented third DDT. No one had ever taken more than one before this so that was completely insane. He puts the cobra handler glove on and Liz just completely loses it. Jake slips the glove off and says that Liz better beg if she wants to save him.

They stand up and Jake secures his place in the 7th circle of eternal punishment BY PUNCHING LIZ. Jack Tunney comes out to glare at Jake and suspend him for having a snake with him until he points out there was no snake in the bag, which confuses Tunney to no end, which is impressive for him as asking his name confuses him more than likely.

In the back, Jake says that when he hit Liz, it was the best feeling he’s ever had and he would pay to be able to do that again. He ends it by saying that Savage can come back again, but to bring his wife again because Jake can make her into something even he would want. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but this was one of the best heel promos I’ve ever seen in my life.

Rating: C+. The match is a fast paced mess but the angle is just completely awesome. The problem was there was never the big match that these guys so desperately needed where Savage could destroy Jake with like 5 elbows or something because Flair came in and changed everything around.

Warlord vs. British Bulldog

This is more or less based around Warlord having a full nelson as a finisher and saying no one can break it. Smith says he can. That’s it. Smith was just ridiculously awesome at this point so I’m sold pretty easily here. Naturally there’s not a word said about the match at first and it’s all about the Savage vs. Roberts thing, which is understandable. For some reason there’s a ton of times here where there’s no talking from the commentators which is never a good thing. It’s just dead air.

At least once they got done talking about the angle they focus on the match for the most part. I can understand talking about the angles a lot, but there’s no excuse for ignoring a match entirely. We’ve mainly got a power match here, but in this case it’s working. It’s odd to have Warlord go this long in a match and also against a guy that uses the same style he has. He’s managed by Harvey Whippleman.

That’s a bit early for him I thought but whatever. Hey it’s a power vs. power match and we have a bearhug. Who could have seen that coming? We’re about five minutes in and Heenan insists it’s over ten. I love hyperbole in wrestling. Usually the power vs. power doesn’t work but Smith makes up for it by having the wrestling ability to balance things out. That’s what made him so solid in the ring.

He was a hybrid wrestler that could do both styles and it allowed him to have decent matches with a lot more wrestlers than a guy like Warlord for example did. Warlord gets the Full Nelson but can’t get the hands in. His hands are on the side of the head so in essence this move is doing nothing at all.

That makes the escape look completely stupid. Smith makes the comeback and gets a decent vertical suplex which is borderline very impressive. From out of almost nowhere, Smith gets a crucifix for the quick pin. That was different if nothing else.

Rating: B-. Given what they had to work with here, this came off pretty well. Smith winning with a wrestling move instead of a power move was a nice little twist in there as everyone was expecting it to end in a power thing, but instead he does the exact opposite and it works. That’s a solid bit of psychology and it worked like a charm here. This might be Warlord’s longest match ever and it worked pretty well. Smith carried the majority of this, but not all of it.

Savage says he’s getting Roberts and there’s no stopping him because all of this was Savage’s fault. He winds up on his knees and then on the ground during this. It’s a lot better than it sounds. Savage is messed up out of his mind here and you can tell it.

Ted DiBiase/Repo Man vs. Virgil/Tito Santana

One thing modern WWE programming is great about is recapping stuff. That helps a ton as to someone that is randomly seeing this, this match makes NO sense. In reality, DiBiase had said that Virgil had stolen the Million Dollar Belt and recruited Repo Man to help him get it back, which worked. Since we need to fill in a match slot here, Tito joined Virgil and we get this match. The faces are already in the ring so what do you expect to happen here?

Virgil’s career is in essence over as far as importance goes here. He just had nothing to do once he left DiBiase and that singles feud went on about as long as it could so the WWF kept it going for another few months after it. Repo here is of course Smash from Demolition if you weren’t aware of that. Santana is more or less worthless here as El Matador.

The problem is that after that, no one remembered the great work he did as Tito Santana, as he was just remembered for the stupid gimmick that he did. As for the match, there’s not a lot to say. It’s your standard filler tag match that could have been on any house show or TV show of the era. I don’t know if it’s good enough for here but we’ll see I guess. Repo Man and DiBiase might be the weirdest combination of all time.

The main problem here is that there’s no point to having Santana in there. He didn’t have any feud with either guy that I can remember other than a few random matches with Repo that would have happened just because they were on the same level of the card. This is just a weird combination to have. The wrestling is fine, but it just comes off as weird all around. The match itself is once again the same kind of match that you would expect to see at a house show or on TV.

It’s actually not bad to be fair. It’s nothing to go out of your way to see, but I don’t have a problem with it being on a low level Tuesday PPV. The problem here is that Virgil is the guy that’s getting the hot tag. How is that appealing? With Sherri making a distraction, Repo hits him in the back with a knee to allow DiBiase to get the pin.

Rating: C. This was ok I guess, but it wasn’t anything great. The faces were just overly matched here and it was really easy to tell that. The formula worked fine here as it ca be expected with guys like DiBiase and Santana out there though, so that balances out I guess. This was pure filler.

Hogan says he’s proud of the Hulkamaniacs for sticking up for him. He says for Flair to stay out of this.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Undertaker

So as you likely know, Taker more or less cheated to become champion at the last show so Tunney set this up to make up for it. He’ll be at ringside I think. This is Taker’s first title defense, although I’m guessing he did some on house shows. It was fairly obvious that Hogan would get the belt back here, but it was at the same time not a good thing as you could clearly hear Taker being cheered when he won the title, which I always thought was because he wasn’t named Hulk Hogan and he was world champion.

Of course he’s Hogan though so he has to get pushed. Hogan pounds away but naturally Taker no sells the heck out of it. There’s your missed attack though and Taker just covers Hogan’s face, which in theory should kill him. So after that attempt at murder, we’re back up and somehow going even more slowly if that’s possible. Flair comes out and gets in Tunney’s face, so Hogan wipes him out with a chair.

That made no sense at all but whatever. It took Tunney down too so there we are. Hogan keeps beating on Taker but can’t get anywhere with him. Flair brings in a chair to end it like last time but Taker gets his head rammed into it and Flair is taken out by a freaking horrible looking clothesline. After a big boot is no sold by Taker, he gets hit in the head by the urn and then in something completely stupid, Hogan opens the urn and takes some ashes out to throw in Taker’s face.

A quick rollup gets him the title back. Posing takes us out. Seriously? The same urn that the Million Dollar Team couldn’t open for months, Hogan just opened inside of 2 seconds. Only in wrestling could things that huge be completely forgotten. This wasn’t any good at all.

Rating: D. So let me get this straight. Taker is completely invincible to the point where chair shots mean nothing on him, but throwing dust in his eyes is enough to keep him down for three? My goodness what they wouldn’t do for Hogan back in the day. This just didn’t work at all as it was overbooked and their styles have never worked well at all. This was by far the worst match of the night, which reminds me of WCW for some reason.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good show, but it begs the question of why was this on a Tuesday 6 days after a major PPV? The buyrate was lower than it was previously thought humanly possible and while the show is solid, nothing else about it was. The reaction was completely awful and given that it didn’t happen again for 13 years, you can tell the office wasn’t that pleased with it.

To show you the respect it got, this never got its own official video release. It was put on a compilation tape called Supertape 91. What does that tell you about this? It’s ok, but only watch it if you’re a more hardcore fan as otherwise you might be mildly entertained but not much. Everyone should watch the Savage/Roberts segments though as they’re amazing stuff.

NXT
Date: May 10, 2011
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

This is the tenth week and we still have no word on eliminations so I’m just going to forget about them now.  There’s nothing to note on this show other than the potential of this being the week when Novak fights Regal.  This would be the second week when that is supposed to happen so who knows.  Anyway let’s get to it.

Regal is in gear and apparently it’s his birthday.

Striker is back as a host here and brings out Maryse.  We get a clip of her getting beaten down by Kharma which means we see Kelly in those tiny white shorts which means I smile a bit.  I’m not sure if it’s just my video but the video is going in semi-fast forward.  Striker talks about the Redemption Points which Titus leads with 13.  Naturally this contest is worth six, making the previous few weeks completely pointless.

THERE IS AN ELIMINATION NEXT WEEK!!!!  THANK GOODNESS!!!  This is called King of the Hill and all you have to do is run up to the stage, grab a flag and come back to the ring and sound off an air horn.  Everyone goes at once so this takes like 15 seconds.  The fast forward thing makes it even funnier.  Titus wins, giving him 19 total points with second being something like 7.  Titus gets on the mic and says he doesn’t know where Horny is and no one else does.  He accuses Young of knowing something about it and says if Young doesn’t admit it he’ll beat it out of him.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

Look at these fresh matches NXT is giving us!  They’re still in fast motion here and the times will be just in seconds as I don’t know what else to do.  Young tries to leave but Titus pulls him back, shouting WHERE IS HE.  Young takes over and works on the arm.  I’m not sure if the sound is sped up also or not.  Chavo criticizes Young, saying he wasn’t known in the first season of NXT.  Did no one watch the show?

Some forearms get two for Young.  Crowd flat out does not care.  An electric chair gets Titus out of trouble and gets a gasp from the crowd for some reason.  Chavo again denies that he took Horny as a powerslam gets two for Titus.  A few seconds later a rollup ends Titus, giving him his first loss at 5:22

Rating: C-. Boring match that the fans didn’t really seem to care about.  Titus is clearly being pushed as the megastar of this season but they have him lose to a guy like Young.  I really don’t get that but I’m sure it makes sense in Vince’s mind.  That would of course imply that Vince knew this show existed, so we’ll go with it makes no sense.

Kozlov and O’Brian (sans mustache) do some sambo which O’Brian isn’t that good at.

Conor O’Brian vs. Byron Saxton

They’re still moving in fast motion.  I refreshed my browser and all that jazz so I’m guessing the production guys want this show to be over even more than I do.  O’Brian works on the arm for a bit as Regal says Cannon is in the lead in his eyes.  He’s making people notice him which makes sense.

The crowd flat out does not care and there’s nothing at all going on.  Regal points out the lack of fire in the guys too so it’s probably one of them going home next week.  O’Brian stays on offense the majority of the time here and puts on a stepover toehold.  Saxton fights back with a downward stunner and a bulldog type move before a middle rope elbow to the chin ends this at 4:57.

Rating: D-. Regal was right: there was nothing of note here at all.  They flat out didn’t care and there’s no reason at all to care about any of these people.  Cannon is the only one that gets a reaction as Titus gets pops because of the leprechaun and that’s about it.  Boring match all around and the lack of charisma by everyone shows through really badly here.

Saxton goes even more heel by saying Tatsu is too stupid to get that he doesn’t want him as his pro anymore.

Cannon gives Maryse a nice purse and she likes him now.  There’s your romance triangle this season.

Smackdown Rebound is about Christian and Orton from Friday.

We recap Regal vs. Novak, which is old school vs. new school for the most part.

William Regal vs. Jacob Novak

Novak has a little Grandmaster Sexay going on.  Novak represents the 3 S’s: street, skills and style.  JTG is heel now apparently and he makes fun of country music to prove it.  Regal sends him to the floor with relative ease.  Crowd cheers for Regal louder than they have for everything else all night.  Elbow in the corner sends Regal to the floor where JTG adds a dropkick.

Novak takes over and a knee lift gets two.  We hit the chinlock for awhile as we talk about the elimination a bit.  Clothesline puts Regal down again.  Striker talks about how good Novak is and I keep wondering what these people are talking about when they say that.  Back to the chinlock which doesn’t last as long.  Regal fights back and takes over with relative ease and the Regal Stretch ends this at 6:20.

Rating: C. Well I think we all knew that was the ending, especially given that Regal was turning 43 today.  Not much of a match but having an actual story really helped this as they had built it up to the point where you wanted Regal to show Novak who the master was out there and that’s exactly what you got.  Can’t ask for more than that.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event was by far and away better than anything else, but other than the announcement that we’re FINALLY getting to an elimination, nothing really happened here.  Horny is missing and after about 8 minutes that wasn’t mentioned again.  Oh and Maryse can be bought with purses.  Other than that, we have nothing here but thankfully someone (please O’Brian!) is gone next week.

Results

Titus O’Neil won the King of the Hill Challenge

Darren Young b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup

Byron Saxton b. Conor O’Brian – Middle rope elbow

William Regal b. Jacob Novak – Regal Stretch

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 9, 2011
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re two weeks away from Over the Limit and unless I’m overlooking it there aren’t any matches officially made.  After the previous week’s birthday party for Rock we can finally get back to the regular stuff on Monday nights.  I’d bet on more with Miz and Cena as Miz can say he got a pinfall on Cena in a title match as a validation for another match.  Let’s get to it.

Here’s Alberto to open the show.  He says that he should be champion but Edge stole it from him.  Why did we waste so much time on Rock last week?  It should have been a celebration of the arrival of Alberto.  He says he should get the title shot so here’s Rey to offer a rebuttal.  He says Alberto will one day be Ricardo’s announcer.  Is that even an insult?  Rey wants a match tonight for the #1 contendership.

Alberto starts to talk but Miz and Riley come out to interrupt.  Miz blames Riley for losing the title last week but Alberto says that was his chance.  Miz says he got the job done but the referee was prejudiced.  He makes a Taco Bell joke which will probably get him criticized for making racial remarks because people are stupid.  Truth comes out to no music and talks about…..hospital food?

Ah apparently it’s due to Morrison having a neck injury and being out for months for neck surgery.  Truth gets in all their faces and calls Miz Kermit, Mysterio bottle-nosed and Alberto a pompous Mexican fence jumper.  “When an angry black man is talking y’all need to shut it up.”  Something about kicking dogs and cats is mentioned but long story short, Truth wants the title shot.  E-Mail says we’re going to have a triple threat match between Miz, Alberto and……we get another E-Mail to announce that the third man is Rey Mysterio.

Truth doesn’t like it and Mysterio wants Truth in the match which he says means he agrees with the GM.  Did I miss something there?  Anyway Miz says the next WWE Champion is…..but he can’t finish as Ricardo cuts him off and says Ricardo.  RICARDO DROPKICKS RILEY!!!  Miz hits the floor and Rey dives on Ricardo to end this segment as we take a break.

Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres

I think that’s Brie vs. Kelly to start us off.  The Bellas double team her for two.  Apparently Cena gets to pick the stipulation for the title match at the PPV.  Kelly gets a headscissors to take down Nikki and spanks her a bit.  Small package by Brie (I think) is reversed into one by Kelly for the pin at 1:25.  We get to the point quickly as Kharma comes out.  The Bellas try to sneak off and manage to get by.  Eve tries to jump Kharma and gets left laying via a slam.  Kelly runs off and it’s an Implant buster for Eve.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan next.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan

Punk and Show are here with their respective people.  Ryan shoves him around with ease to start us off.  Kane fires away and knocks him into the corner but gets his head taken off with a clothesline.  We go WAY old school with an Oklahoma Stampede for two.  Punk distracts Kane so Show kills him dead with the punch.  McGillicutty and Otunga run in for the DQ at 2:14.  Double chokeslam to Ryan and the tall guys stand…..well tall.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Santino Marella

Dolph is all evil and orange here as he beats down Santino quickly.  After a quick beatdown Santino gets some offense in but a dropkick takes him down as he loads up the Cobra.  Zig Zag ends this in 1:40.

We actually get a Smackdown Rebound for the first time in forever.  It’s of Christian having his moment as champion and losing the title that night to Orton.

Truth is about to leave and calls conspiracy.  Apparently he’s been getting letters asking him to sing and dance again.  His eyes are bugging out of his head as he says this.  There’s a country accent thrown in and there’s no more, because that’s the Truth.  He leaves but comes back to get the interviewer to say What’s Up and then leaves.

Cena fist pumps with Ryder and heads to the ring.

We get a recap of the title match last week and Riley costing Miz the title.  Miz yells at Riley all over again.  He calls Riley a troglodyte and says he’s stupid.  Riley says he’ll make it up to Miz so watch this.

Riley walks down the hall and out into the arena.  Did Cena get lost on his way to the ring?  Riley says the only person that he cares about is the Miz.  He challenges Cena to a match and here’s the champ.

John Cena vs. Alex Riley

Very pro-Cena crowd tonight.  Cena takes Riley down with ease and then does it again.  A charge misses in the corner though and Riley gets a clothesline for two.  Chinlock goes on by Riley but Cena starts up his ending sequence.  A pair of AA’s as Miz comes out sets up the STF to end this at 3:12.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but Riley actually got in some offense.  Total dominance by Cena but did you really expect anything else?  I’m not sure how this proves anything to Miz but I guess Riley’s heart was in the right place.  Nothing else to say here so I’ll keep typing a bit to fill in space.

Cole announces his retirement from in ring competition.  Lawler comes in and wants a clip of the beatdown from Rock last week.  Cole talks about going into the Hall of Fame and Lawler says if Cole can beat Lawler again, he’ll give Cole his HOF ring and induct Cole into the Hall of Fame.  Cole turns it down in a bit of a surprise.

Cole gets in the Cole Mine and makes fun of Tennessee.  His mind was made up yesterday about his retirement because it was Mother’s Day.  Cole flew his mother into Texas and they watched Cole beat him at Mania.  Lawler wouldn’t be able to spend Mother’s Day with his mom because his mom died in February.  Lawler storms the Cole Mine but Swagger makes the save as we take a break.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston

Technical stuff to start here as Cole imitates breaking news to say that Lawler is in pain.  Swagger gets sent to the floor but gets a shot to Kofi, sending him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Swagger sending Kofi into the corner, only to get knocked backwards.  Running knee to the gut takes Kofi down again though.

Vader Bomb eats knees but Trouble in Paradise misses.  Top rope cross body gets two.  Kofi tries to skin the cat (why is it called that anyway?) but Swagger grabs the ankle.  Kofi tries a tornado DDT but gets shoved off and the ankle gives out.  Lawler comes out and the distraction is enough for Trouble in Paradise to end this at 8:23 total.

Rating: C. Just your standard match between these two which was fine.  They’ve wrestled each other a few hundred times now so they can probably have a passable match in their sleep.  Lawler coming down is fine as it plays into the bigger angle.  Fine for a TV match and that’s all it needed to be.

Post match Lawler sends Swagger into the post and then the crowd and goes to the Cole Mine but can’t get in.  Lawler throws a chair into the Mine but settles for reaching into the glory hole to grab the tie.  He pulls the tie, ramming Cole’s head into the wall time after time.  Cole’s face all stuck up against the wall had me dying from laughter.  Swagger says Lawler is fired but Lawler says he just touched his tie.  Swagger accepts the match for Cole which he isn’t happy with.

Video about the premiere of That’s What I Am, which apparently is being well received.

The Miz vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

Winner gets Cena at Over the Limit.  No Riley with Miz.  Standard formula here as we have two guys go at it while the third is down.  The bad guys fight in the ring and Miz escapes the cross armbreaker.  Rey comes back in and gets a sunset flip for two on Del Rio.  Miz vs. Mysterio now but Del Rio breaks up the 619.  Rey gets sent to the floor by Alberto so Miz tries the Skull Crushing Finale.  That misses and a double clothesline puts everyone down as we take a break.

Back with Alberto kicking Miz back to the floor so he can work on Mysterio some more.  After more of a beating on Rey, Miz pulls the rope down to send Del Rio to the floor.  Sunset flip doesn’t hit and Rey hits a kick to the head for two.  They all go to the floor with Rey diving on Alberto to take him down.  Alberto and Rey go back into the ring and Rey speeds things up again and takes him down with a headscissors.

Miz pops back up and heads up top, only to get crotched.  Rollup gets two on Alberto.  Sweet top rope rana by Rey to Miz but he gets caught in the Codebreaker to the arm and the Cross Armbreaker.  Miz breaks it up and gets rolled up for two.  DDT gets two on Alberto.  Finale is blocked by Rey and Miz hits the floor again.  Riley comes back out to help Miz as Del Rio can’t powerbomb Rey.  619 to Alberto sets up the top rope splash but Riley makes the save.  Miz runs in with a rollup to get the pin on Rey at 13:45 total.

Rating: C+. This was your usual run of the mill triple threat match to start but at the end they cranked it up and with another 3 minutes or so this would have been very good.  Miz winning probably makes the most sense so you can’t really complain about him winning.  Good stuff here and good to see Miz keep his main event spot for the time being.

Cena picks an I Quit match for the PPV.

Back in the ring Truth pops up to lay out Mysterio to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a lot.  While the matches were short, a lot of stuff happened tonight and with a short amount of time before the PPV, that’s exactly what they needed here.  There are still questions about what’s coming for the PPV which makes me want to see what’s next on the show.  Good stuff all around tonight as there was an energy tonight that we haven’t had in awhile.  Much better show than the last few weeks.

Results

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Bella Twins – Small Package to Brie

Kane b. Mason Ryan via disqualification when Nexus ran in

Dolph Ziggler b. Santino Marella – Zig Zag

John Cena b. Alex Riley – STF

Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger – Trouble in Paradise

The Miz b. Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio – Rollup to Mysterio

Death Before Dishonor VIII
Date: June 19, 2010
Location: Ted Reeve Arena, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Joe DeGrowski

This is a few months old but at the time I remember more or less hearing that it was the most awesome show EVER. Granted this is normal for ROH fans as they swear up and down that only they know what REAL wrestling is which normally makes me laugh. This one however continues to get praise so I figured I should check it out. The main event is Tyler Black vs. Davey Richards, who is claimed by most ROH fans to be the best in the world. I’ve seen some of his stuff and find him vastly overrated, but maybe I’m wrong. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Kings of Wrestling (Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli, the current ROH Tag Champions) yelling about the Briscoes and how they’ll pay for their actions. Standard stuff but they come off as faces here.

Cabana and Corino do the talking for Generico and Steen respectively.

Richards, who is TOWERED over by Black, says he wants the world title. Black says he’s keeping the belt.

This was a PPV broadcast on the internet which isn’t a bad idea.

We’re supposed to open with Cheech and Cloudy but here’s El Generico, who wants Steen NOW. Steve Corino comes out as Steen’s mouthpiece and says Steen will never wrestle in the opening match as he’s all about the main event. Generico still says NOW. Steen sprints past Corino and IT’S ON!

El Gernerico vs. Kevin Steen

Steen is a rather fat Canadian and is supposed to be the heel but we’re in Toronto so it’s kind of split. Big old dive over the top by Generico and he controls on the floor. Standard feud here: former tag partners and tag champions but an outsider gets in one of their ears and turns him heel, setting up the big grudge match. The dueling chants start up as they slug it out on the ropes.

All Generico here in the early going and as he hits a leg lariat the audio feed starts to break up a bit. Spinning rope walk DDT is countered very nicely into a back breaker by Steen and followed up by a senton in a nice combination. They slug it out a bit and of course Steen throws a superkick. What is with so many people in this company using a superkick? Loud F YOU STEEN chant which says a lot as a Canadian (ok so they’re both Canadian which that explains a lot) is getting heel heat in Canada.

Generico makes a quick comeback and hits a Generico Driver for two. It’s more of a midlevel move for him I think so it’s not as annoying to have him kick out of it so early in the match. Package piledriver (odds are if you’re reading an ROH review you know what these moves are. If not there’s a handy device called Youtube) attempt on the apron is blocked and Generico hits a tornado DDT to the floor.

The masked dude goes up top for a big old splash that gets two. Steen manages to go for the Sharpshooter but it’s blocked. Is there a quota of Sharpshooters every Canadian wrestler has to use in a year or something? Since this is an ROH match we trade STIFF looking strikes before both guys go down. I get the whole adrenaline argument, but how can a second superkick not put Generico down while the first one did when he’s taken more punishment in between? I’ve never gotten that.

Moonsault misses and the masked Canadian hooks the Sharpshooter to fill his quota. Generico goes for…something, but in a nice counter Steen hooks him into a Package Piledriver for two. That would have been awesome if I had known what it was supposed to be in the first place. Generico proceeds to kick the heck out of Steen and we go up where Steen finds a wrench to blast him in the head with. A brainbuster type move from the top ends it for Steen.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid match here but I kind of question the whole having a big grudge match this early on the card. Granted they addressed that at the beginning of the match so I can’t complain much there. This feud continued on so the ending makes sense here. This was an intense match so points for that. Nothing incredible but a solid choice for an opener I would think.

Some wrestlers are asked who is going to win the title match. Cornette won’t answer and Steen only talks about Generico. The money seems to be on Richards. Austin Aries predicts there will be a winner and that winner will be world champion. Whoever it is though will never be as good as he is. That’s a heel promo right there.

Up in Smoke vs. All Night Express

Up in Smoke is Cheech and Cloudy who I’ve heard a lot about but never seen. The All Night Express is Rhett Titus and Kenny King, who come of you might vaguely remember as Kenny from Tough Enough 2. Rhett Titus is like Rick Rude on crack but in a good way. They’re a comedy team but they’re rather good from the little I’ve seen out of them. King jumps Cloudy to start as they follow the Code of Honor by shaking hands.

Kind of a botch on a double armdrag as the heels are sent to the floor. Cheech backdrops Cloudy onto the heels to take them out. Back in the ring and they speed things up again but a nice double team move nearly kills Cloudy. Up In Smoke are both really small guys but wrestle kind of like the Guns do. The Briscoes might not be here for their match later. Austin Aries, the Express’ manager, pulls a Jericho and runs to the announcers shouting ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME?

King can move out there. He was kind of memorable on Tough Enough but wasn’t really anything great. From what I’ve seen of him in ROH he’s gotten a good deal better. Rollup gets two on King. Up in Smoke pulls out something called Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Cheech. It doesn’t hit but that’s an awesome name. Kind of an eye roller but still great. A lot of double teaming here but it keeps getting broken up.

And now we get to the problem I have with a lot of wrestling companies today, including indys for the most part. The Express hits a SWEET powerbomb/springboard Blockbuster combo into a pin and Cheech kicks out of it. If you’re going to break out these huge moves then have them end the match. If they don’t get pins then yeah they’re big and flashy but they don’t actually end anything, which makes them look weak.

We get the awesomely named move from earlier which is a 619 from one and a dropkick to the back of the head from the other. And since we can’t have a double team move like that end it, King hits a spinning backbreaker onto his back (think Chris Harris’ Catatonic) but keeps Cloudy on his back, allowing Titus to go up and hit a knee drop onto Cloudy for the pin. Yeah the other move looked much better.

Rating: D+. Pretty much just a basic tag match here to get the Express on the show. It’s not bad but the breaking up of pins and constant double teaming from both teams took me out of the match too often. At times you need to just have one guy vs. one guy as it allows the double team moves to look more important and impactful. This wasn’t bad but it needed to be changed a lot to make it a truly good match.

Post match the Express talks about how awesome they are and how awesome Aries is, bringing him to the ring. Aries really is solid on the mic with basic heel stuff. Here’s Delirious for their match.

Delirious vs. Austin Aries

Delirious is in his insane red tonight. Aries tried to injure Delirious and hurt his throat, setting this up. Again, simple booking can work best at times. The Express gets thrown out for the sake of a match. Mist is shot out almost immediately and Aries is in trouble. Who came up with that thing in the first place? It’s such a staple anymore that if you had trademarked it you would make a fortune.

Chokebomb by Delirious which is a rather cool move actually. Aries is still blind about 3 minutes in. Aries goes for a brainbuster on the referee, I guess just not noticing the shirt there. He gets some water in his eyes and now we’re ready to go. Out on the floor and Aries sets Delirious up for the Savage/Steamboat axe handle spot that set up their Mania 3 match and was also used to put Delirious out. This one of course misses though as we need to brawl more.

Hot shot gets two for Aries as he takes over. Cobra Clutch suplex gets two for Delirious as he hits it out of nowhere. He starts his comeback and lands like 5 sentons to the back of Aries. Cobra Clutch is countered and Delirious goes to the floor. Aries goes for a suicide dive and faceplants into the wall in a SICK looking bump. And here’s the Express for the CHEAP DQ! This feud is still going on today so you get the idea here.

Rating: C+. This was ok but the ending crippled it. Delirious is certainly different than most guys but in the ring I’ve never quite gotten the appeal of Aries. He’s good but I’ve never found him to be great at all. This was a decent match but the ending hurt it badly. The idea was supposed to be for Delirious to get his revenge and to this day he still hasn’t. I get stretching an angle out but this is a bit much.

Fans are split on the world title match.

Gauntlet Match

This is a 6 man gauntlet where the winner gets a future title shot. The idea is two people start us off and have a match. Winner gets man #3 and so on until the last man is standing. We start with Tyson Dux vs. the TV Champion Eddie Edwards. Edwards is the partner of Davey Richards in the American Wolves. Feeling out process to start us off with some nice wrestling stuff.

They chop it out and Dux takes over. It’s pronounced Dukes if you’re curious for some odd reason. Not a lot going on here as they both want to conserve energy for later. Edwards as the TV Champion is used to having ten minute matches which is a nice little explanation for why he’s not used to going long times in the ring.

Edwards rolls through something into his half crab submission but Dux makes the ropes. Reverse chinlock goes on as Dux’s back is hurt. Dux runs into a pair of big boots as we get to the striking which just has to happen here. Release gordbuster and a snap DDT get 2 for Dux. Briscoes still aren’t here but a clothesline takes the head off of Dux. Edwards gets a Codebreaker from the middle rope into the half crab (called an Achilles Lock here because ROH has to be smarter than we are) but after getting to the ropes Dux gets a rollup out of nowhere for the SHOCKING upset.

Daivari of the Embassy is next and the overly muscular one goes after the leg. After a lot of leg work we get a decent figure four as Dux is in trouble. He slaps the mat but of course that’s not a tap because he’s trying to get the crowd into things right? And now his leg is ok once he gets out of the hold? Death Valley Driver, Dux’s finisher, hits but hey since we’re in ROH you have to have someone kick out of a finisher right (Yes I know everyone does it anymore)?

Nice neckbreaker by Dux but Prince Nana gets the foot of Daivari on the rope. And now it’s the Rude vs. Warrior at Mania 5 ending as Nana hooks the foot on a suplex and holds it down for the pin.

Colt Cabana vs. Daivari now which is a rematch from last night. A reverse Boston Crab literally ends this in less than a minute with Cabana getting the win.

Steve Corino comes in 5th and we get a reference to Bitter Friends Stiffer Enemies II which is a show I’ve actually reviewed. We get a Phil Brooks reference as a former associate of Cabana. He’s out of ROH now and got knocked out last night by Big Show in an idiotic match. Billy Goat’s Curse (the reverse Boston Crab) is hooked but we head to the floor.

Corino gets a fork from somewhere but it gets taken away. This allows a low blow to turn the tide and Steve takes over. He gets something and jabs it into Cabana’s eye and hits the Old School Expulsion. He goes for a running elbow and gets caught in a SLICK crucifix for the pin!

Roderick Strong, freshly heel, hits the ring and kicks the tar out of Cabana for two. I like Strong so this should go well. He has Truth Martini as his manager now who is rather annoying but you have to expect that in some managers. Strong kicks the heck out of him but Cabana hits a standing Lionsault for two. The camera is shaking here which is kind of annoying but acceptable given the level of this company. Strong’s knee is hurt so Martini runs in and drills Cabana in the head with his book for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty solid stuff here and they managed to get the quick eliminations out of the way but at the end of the day a gauntlet match doesn’t usually work that well. This was one of the better ones I’ve seen but everyone pretty much knows whoever the last guy to come in is will be the winner which is why these kind of miss the mark more often than not. Also, there was no way a freshly heel Strong was going to lose. Pretty good wrestling makes it worth watching though.

This would be intermission time at the show. The Briscoes aren’t here yet still which likely isn’t legit. Ad for ROHwrestling.com as they just say it’s intermission. Since this isn’t the live broadcast I get a screen with the sponsor’s name instead.

Davey Richards talks about his family life. Black talks about working hard. It’s one of those interviews where they each talk about something and then you cut to the other guy who answers the same question. I like those as they’re very rapid fire. This goes on for a good while but it makes you want to see the match all the more which is the idea here.

We shift into a promo about Strong wanting the title and how that ties into Edwards vs. Black. It’s kind of odd seeing how much taller Black is than Edwards. Somehow Austin Aries is involved in this too. I really need to actually watch the show to get what’s going on.

We come back to the arena which is more or less empty due to intermission going on but Generico and Steen brawl to the ring out of nowhere. Cabana and Corino come out to make it a four person brawl with Generico winning for the most part before stealing a tie from someone to choke Steen. Nice little bonus here to fill in some time. The tie choking was kind of funny as I’m pretty sure this is after Justin Roberts.

Video airs on the Briscoe Brothers vs. the Kings of Wrestling. Hero got on the Briscoes’ dad and beat him up. This should be a solid match actually. Somehow we have just now hit the halfway point of this show.

Ad for Gofightlive who is airing the PPV. It’s an MMA ad which is weird to see on a wrestling show.

Same ask the fans video from earlier.

Long shot of the arena with the GFL logo on the screen while Missippi Queen plays in the background. And now we get another song as this intermission has now broken 20 minutes. Literally the last 4 minutes have been a logo with music playing and the fans sitting around bored. This is still better than Summerslam 91 where they had a graphic and a countdown clock up for FIFTEEN MINUTES.

Jim Cornette comes out to fill in some more time. Toronto and ROH are awesome don’t you know.

Pick Six Match: Christopher Daniels vs. Kenny Omega

For those of you unfamiliar with the Pick Six, it’s the ranking system for ROH. The idea is that there are six guys ranked 1-6 with Richards being #1 at the moment. Only they can challenge for the title (most of the time. You can win special matches like the gauntlet earlier too) and to get into the list you have to beat a guy on the list. Daniels is #2 and this match is for his spot. If Omega wins here he’s the new #2 and Daniels is #3, and whoever was #6 is off the list.

We start off on the match so I have a feeling this is going to be a long match, especially with an hour and a half to go with three matches left scheduled. We get the dueling chant to show how split the crowd is here. A nice counter to a Rock Bottom results in a standoff. Very even match so far with an emphasis on arm drags. The announcers point out that this isn’t about hatred which is rare to see in wrestling anymore.

Daniels works the neck and hooks a seated Tazmission and a suplex for two. Nice sequence of a slingshot moonsault into a crossface by the bald one. Omega comes back with chops as this isn’t incredibly great but it’s ok. Springboard missile dropkick by Omega doesn’t get a cover. And naturally 3 seconds later he’s in the Koji Clutch, which is a rather difficult looking neck submission which is broken by the ropes.

More neck work doesn’t end this either. Angel’s Wings are countered again as this match is kind of dragging. We slug it out even more and Daniels does the palm strike to the chest and the Rock Bottom sets up the BME which misses. Omega hits a finisher for two of course. I really am starting to hate that. Daniels hits Angel’s Wings, another finisher, and say it with me: it gets two.

Omega hits a double palm strike (Haduken) and it’s called a knockout blow. You know what happens so I’m not even going to validate it with a joke. The fans chant THIS IS WRESTLING. I’m not sure what’s wrong with them but it’s not what I think of when I think of wrestling. An STO sets up the Best Moonsault Ever which ends it.

Rating: B-. Ok. I get the idea of the strong style where you kick out of just about everything, but dude, doing it in every single match makes it look stupid. There’s a reason a move is considered a finisher: it’s supposed to FINISH a match. Back in the late 80s can you imagine a guy kicking out of Hogan’s legdrop? The world would have come to an end. In this match there were at least three finishers that were kicked out of. When that happens continuously it makes the moves look like they’re just big moves rather than devastating ones. I can’t stand that and ROH does it as much as almost any American company. Again, there’s a place for it but don’t do it all the time.

Daniels helps him up and shakes his hand which is always nice to see.

Tag Titles: Briscoe Brothers vs. Kings of Wrestling

This should be awesome. It’s kind of weird watching the Kings as they’re both about 6’5 which means they tower over the vast majority of the roster. Hero and Claudio cut promos saying they appreciate the Briscoes not being allowed to be here, so of course they hit the ring and it’s on. No DQ here which is a surprise I think. Big dive by one of the Brothers takes out the Kings. I’ve never been able to remember which is which so bear with me.

Why do they have to tag in and out? If you can’t get disqualified then what’s stopping them? Hero starts and it’s been one sided the whole way so far. Claudio is finally up in his corner after getting destroyed. The challengers get after Shane Hagadorn and I think you know this isn’t going to work. Claudio is busted open already. Someone that’s either a young boy or an adult woman shouts that Hero is a pussy. I hope it was a girl.

Everything breaks down early and Mark Briscoe is busted open pretty well. Ok now I can tell one from the other. Oh man Mark is busted BAD. The heels have taken over here and we get a gay chant against Hero. Nice double cross body and there’s the hot tag to Jay. He drives Hero’s head into the buckle about 25 times and now he’s busted open. O’Connor Roll gets two but Hagadorn pelts Jay with a chair to put him on the floor. Hagadorn is the Kings’ manager if I forgot to mention that earlier.

Jay is busted open too now. Hero ties Jay to the post with the tag rope Total bloodbath here but they said that at the previous show they had a long technical match so this is far more acceptable. Doomsday Device but with a European Uppercut gets two on Mark. The referee gets a knife from somewhere and cuts Jay free. A Roaring Elbow (Hero’s finisher) gets two.

Jay gets a freaking fire extinguisher of all things and the Kings are in trouble. Table is brought in as Claudio’s cut is more or less closed. The heels are thrown into the table but it doesn’t break. Double team neckbreaker/powerbomb gets no cover. Claudio counters a slam through the table but the Briscoes tackle him into it where his shoulder goes through the edge of it in a painful looking spot.

Doomsday Device to Shane and the Briscoes are standing tall. Hero pops up with his loaded elbow pad and drills Jay with it for TWO and a big pop. We get more gay slurs at Hero with people saying F YOU Hero. If he’s gay as you say you are, wouldn’t he enjoy that in theory? In an AWESOME looking finish, Castagnoli gets a giant swing and the pad is put on Hero’s foot which he kicks Jay in the head with for the pin.

Rating: B. This was supposed to be a big fight and that’s exactly what it was. All kinds of blood (Mark’s face was COVERED), very good violence, the SICK ending and the whole thing going nearly 20 minutes worked very well. They had a technical match already so this is the next logical step. I’m fine with violence like this when it fits the story, which it did here due to the Kings attacking their dad. Very fun match that was exactly what it was supposed to be.

Hey let’s see the same video interviewing the fans again. Amazingly enough their opinions are the same this time too.

ROH World Title: Davey Richards vs. Tyler Black

Jim Cornette is on commentary here so all is right with the world. VERY mixed reaction for Black while the fans all cheer Davey. No handshake here and there’s the bell to a big pop. Fans are behind Davey it seems. Screw that as we slap it out. No real advantage for awhile but Richards gets an awesome surfboard on, only to have it reversed into one by Black.

Total standoff about three minutes in. And now we make fun of HHH because he has no talent or anything like that right? One little thing here is that they refer to Black as the top man in the promotion rather than the top man in the industry. At least they know their place. Sweet dropkick by Black gets one. Cornette lists off the main event scene as Black gets caught by a dropkick to take him down.

Richards has lost a tooth so he kicks the stuffing out of Black to make up for it. We get a modified and PAINFUL looking version of Konnan’s Tequila Sunrise as Richards is in control. Black is all like BRING IT ON and slaps Richards. They slug it out and an enziguri takes Davey down. Cornette on commentary is a nice thing as he can be dramatic but can talk moves as well as anyone.

Tyler throws Davey to the floor and then adds a front flip and a springboard clothesline. He gets chants of YOU STILL SUCK, despite being cheered to no end when he was chasing the title. Joe says the fans will have to respect Black if he wins. That’s just amusing. Richards goes for a German off the top but Black flips out of it. Richards is happy anyway and walks into a big boot. Richards looks like an idiot here because, to quote Marvin the Martian: “Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth shattering kaboom!” Did he just not notice a lack of vibration or sound? Apparently he didn’t because he got kicked in the head.

Rubiks Cube (reverse Piledriver from the shoulders for like of a better term) gets two. Dueling chants of THIS IS AWESOME/YOU STILL SUCK. It turns into a slugout as Black can’t beat him or even get a near fall. Ok, why does no one grab Davey’s leg when he kicks the EXACT same way every time? Richards misses a front flip that puts him in about the third row. Cornette says Richards would walk across fire wearing gasoline underwear to be the best in the world. I’d love to see a show of nothing but Ross and Cornette trying to out metaphor each other.

Jim thinks this is what it was like in the gladiator days. I doubt they used as much spandex…or armdrags…..theme music either….and the fans would chant in Latin. I could probably come up with some more if I had to. Richards gets a shot to the knee and hooks a Texas Cloverleaf. Since that doesn’t work Black gets a suplex off the top and floats over into an F5 for two.

Phoenix Splash (moonsault into a 450) misses and Richards hooks an ankle lock. Screw you Ken Shamrock for making that to look like the best hold ever. Pinfall reversal sequence is always fun to see. We kick it out into a grapevined ankle lock like Angle uses. Richards suplexes both himself and Black over the top to the floor. Black goes into the crowd and Richards is down in the ring.

Hagadorn, Richards’ manager, comes down with a chair but Davey stops him, allowing Black to kick him in the face, knocking the chair into Richards’ face. They slug it out again on the apron and down they both go. Richards sprints back in to save the match as he gets in at about 19.5. Richards kicks out of another finisher, in this case God’s Last Gift which is a Fisherman’s Buster into a small package. Turnbuckle powerbomb sets up a superkick but hey, he only took two finishers so of course Richards can immediately counter into a Dragon Screw Leg Whip and a Cloverleaf.

Hey take a guess as to what we do now. If you guessed slug it out, HOW DID YOU KNOW? Davey takes a superkick and of course just snaps off a clothesline and takes over. Either Richards looks like he’s no selling or Black looks weak. Black’s turn to kick out of a finisher now. Davey gets caught in the buckles and a double stomp from the top gets two for Black.

Finisher #5 or so equals kick out for Richards of course. The fans chant YOU CAN’T BEAT HIM at Tyler so Black kicks him in the face again and another God’s Last Gift ends this kind of anti-climactically. Richards gets helped out of the ring but says now you’re a champion to Black. Black thanks him and we end the show.

Rating: B. This was entertaining, but there are some major flaws in it. Number one: the no selling. I don’t care if this is the ROH style. I don’t care about adrenaline or whatever. Taking back to back finishers and being fine literally 4 seconds later is STUPID. It makes Black look like a joke and it makes Richards look ridiculous. Answer this: if Richards can no sell a buckle bomb and kick with two minutes left in the match, why do the same moves end him 100 seconds later?

Black isn’t innocent here either as the leg work by Davey was completely forgotten 30 seconds later. Number two: Richards is supposed to be the best in the world? That’s a funny one. When 80% of your offense is kicking a guy in the chest over and over, I have an issue with calling you great. That’s my main issue with ROH: there is WAY too big of an emphasis on strikes. We get it: you can chop and kick and it looks like Japan. That isn’t wrestling, it’s a martial arts contest. People can chant this is awesome all they want but the match is flawed.

That being said, the match was indeed entertaining with Black doing everything he could to finish him but never being able to until the very end. However this goes back to what I said earlier about finishers: if you have to use the finisher 4 times to get the win, how is it still classified as a finisher? By that logic you could clothesline a guy 400 times and pin him. The match ended on a clothesline so that’s the finisher. I don’t get the whole best in the world aspect of Richards but he’s pretty good I guess. Black is solid but the psychology here brings it WAY down past what it’s built up to be. Still good though.

Overall Rating: B-. It’s a good show, but to call this the show of the year and give it eternal praise like it’s gotten for three months is absurd. The last two matches are definitely both good and the show as a whole is good, but there are some matches towards the beginning and middle that are just ok. The Daniels match is long and not incredibly entertaining. The gauntlet is ok at its very best. Delirious vs. Aries I don’t even remember and I watched it yesterday. The first two matches are decent but also forgettable. It’s a good show but at three and a half hours with seven matches it’s a far cry from best show of the year.

One Night Only
Date: September 20, 1997
Location: NEC Arena, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So more or less, this is the first European only PPV, meaning it only aired in Europe and Canada because of Bret wanting it to, so there you are. We’re between Ground Zero, where nothing of note happened and Bad Blood, where the Cell and Kane debuted. This is on a Saturday for no apparent reason and other than the main event, nothing of note happens here.

Vince was really just trying to expand his audience a bit so he threw this out there to them to give them something. The main event is Shawn vs. Bulldog for the European Title which doesn’t mean much but over there it would be a big deal. Oh and the other reason I’m doing this is because I want to have done everything in the 90s and this was one of the few I had left. Let’s do it.

Oh before I forget, most of you have likely never seen this whole thing. Unless you have 24/7 or know how to find shows online, it’s unlikely you’ve seen the full show. The American release was heavily cut and is missing 2-3 matches. This is the full show that was only available in Europe or Canada on tape or PPV, meaning you would have had to tape it when it aired at first.

We start with a recap of Summerslam 92 because that’s the extent of mainstream wrestling. This is really just a highlight reel of Smith’s career leading up to tonight, meaning it’s very short. That was rather pointless.

HHH vs. Dude Love

Love had turned into what he is now at Summerslam where he entered as Mankind. Again, this feud was over, but they’re not really putting a lot of thought into it. Should be fine though. The ring announcer is very Irish. Since I just got done doing KOTR 97 about 3 hours ago this is a nice companion piece. HHH is REALLY hitting his stride here as he’s turning into a perfect snob but also has the muscle mass and capabilities coming in for him.

Apparently you have to be a good athlete to be King of the Ring. That’s not true due to Mable but points for trying. Love, getting a big pop, gives a promo with English words thrown in. It’s rather amusing. Foley is freaking TALENTED. I’ve always loved Dude’s music for some twisted reason. They do that annoying air horn thing but accompany it with DUDE LOVE at the end instead of claps.

It’s the thing where it’s 5 blows of it then 4 then two more to end it. Instead of the two at the end they chant the name. Lawler keeps using British insults and Vince is getting ticked off at him for it. Foley puts a leg lock on HHH that if you look at it closely enough you can see that there’s very little pressure on the leg but it looks good if nothing else. Sweet Shin Music misses. Ok now Lawler is just getting annoying.

We get another instance of HHH backing down from the referee which never gets old. HHH is mostly in control here as would be expected. He’s got insane heat on him too. He goes for the Pedigree but Foley reverses with a slingshot where HHH misses the post by about 6 inches minimum. That was just awful looking.

In a spot I like, Foley puts HHH into all three buckles three times each. There’s no tenth into the mat though which is odd. Chyna saves HHH from the Double Arm DDT which ticks off Foley and allows the Pedigree to hit for the pin.

Rating: B+. This was a great choice for an opener. These two have almost always had great chemistry together and this was no different.

We hear from fans about the main event tonight. They need to do that more often. They’re actually fairly split but Bulldog is ahead. One chick here looks EXACTLY like Becca, but Becca would be like 6 at this point so it isnt’ her.

Sunny comes out to be the announcer for the next match to a HUGE pop. They make references to the Spice Girls and Page 3 girls. I actually know what those mean! She always looked like she was having fun so that’s always a good thing.

Leif Cassidy vs. Tiger Ali Singh

Singh was kind of like Ted DiBiase mixed with Muhammad Hassan. He wasn’t any good in the ring but whatever. He’s Canadian too but whatever. His father is Tiger Jeet Singh who was a great wrestler that most of you have likely never heard of. I have no idea who the face is here but I think it’s Singh, which is very odd.

Cassidy is more commonly known as Al Snow, but this is before Head showed up so no one cares and no one has heard of him. goody two shoes but no one likes him. He would become a snob soon after this. Snow works on the arm which is smart enough I suppose.

It’s basic psychology but it’s psychology nonetheless. We talk about Brian Christopher for no apparent reason. A random Tiger Bomb (Pearl River Plunge traditionally but on second viewing it’s a bulldog so that makes no sense) ends this.

Rating: D+. There was nothing at all to this. It was about 5 minutes and just boring. I have no idea why they put this on but it was just a completely uninteresting match. Not particularly bad, but not interesting at all.

Oddly enough I just got done watching Tribute to the Troops which I guess has some similarities to this.

Sunny hits on all three of the announcers which is pointless.

We see a clip from Ground Zero where Austin cost Owen and Bulldog the tag titles in a match for the vacant titles. That leads us to this.

Tag Titles: Los Boricuas vs. Headbangers

The Headbangers had a month long run that no one remembers or cares about. Los Boricuas were just a waste of time. They’re Savio Vega and a guy named Miguel. They were an offshoot of the Nation that went nowhere at all but were given a ton of TV time anyway. For some reason that I’ll never understand, the champions are over. The heels jump them early and it doesn’t work at all.

This crowd is approaching Canadian Stampede levels and it’s FOR THE HEADBANGERS! Then we go to a headlock and the crowd DIES. The only time close to that was when Hogan lost at the Main Event where they went silent. Apparently the Headbangers went to college. Wow indeed. The heels take over so they’re going with a formula. This is surprisingly decent. Good night Miguel is a freaking hairy man.

In something that makes me laugh, the referee calls Thrasher Headbanger. He can’t tell them apart either. I love that. After Thrasher takes a powerbomb, Mosh jumps off the top rope for the Stage Dive (Seated Senton) for the pin. That was a very good and fast paced ending. The pop is very solid indeed.

Rating: B. This was actually really quite good. The crowd helped this match a lot as they were hot the entire time. It helped that I had zero expectations here but this came off pretty good. They were about the same kind of teams with some very basic light power stuff but mostly high flying and speed moves which made a decent match. It’s no classic but it’s not bad at all.

We get a sit down interview with Davey who talks about all of his family in the arena tonight.

Flash Funk vs. The Patriot

Flash Funk is more commonly known as 2 Cold Scorpio and is a pimp without the name of being one. Patriot showed up a few weeks before this and somehow had a title shot at the previous PPV which went nowhere. Naturally he “came within an eyelash” but that didn’t mean anything after that show.

Patriot has Angle’s old music which it’s just odd to hear in 1997. He’s more or less a heel here since he comes out with the American flag. Patriot says he wears a mask because he represents the face of every American. I don’t know that many men that have golden skin like that. Flash is wearing a freaking zoot suit. This isn’t as good of a match as it could be but it’s ok I guess.

It’s about as generic as you could get but that’s fine. Vince calls Flash the Funkmeister. I’m done. Patriot was just annoying as he never went anywhere. He wasn’t that good at all but was built up to be this great worker which he just wasn’t at all. They keep saying the reason they’re not being all violent and crap is because they don’t hate each other. That’s better than nothing I guess.

If nothing else this should tell you everything you need to know about Patriot: his finishers are a full nelson slam called the Uncle Slam and a top rope shoulder block called the Patriot Missile. Funk’s finisher is called the Funky Flash Splash. A full nelson slam ends this. That was a waste of time.

Rating: C-. Again, this was just there. It wasn’t particularly good or bad, but Patriot got some decent heat which is really all you can ask for. Funk went for a big move from the top and it missed for the Uncle Slam. That’s better than nothing I guess. It could have been a lot worse I guess, but this just wasn’t the best choice of a pairing.

The LOD say they’ll win and they don’t like the Godwins. Hawk is OUT THERE.

Legion of Doom vs. Godwins

So yet again the Godwins are heels here and it was another total failure. This started because the LOD botched the Doomsday Device and injured Henry pretty badly. No motorcycles this time in England which hurts things a bit. This was around the time where they were considered American Originals, yet they’re popular here.

That’s just odd as they’re Americans but Patriot is an American character and gets booed. That’s very interesting. We start out with Henry and Animal which I guess would be the best combination but that’s neither here nor there. Ross gets in a not very subtle jab at Bill Clinton that Vince scoffs at which is most odd. Oh the Godwins have a new manager that’s not here named Uncle Cleatus.

It’s Dutch Mantel, who until recently was a booker in TNA. They transition from a line about mad cow disease by saying there’s a lot of beef in there. I’m tired of Lawler’s stupid British lines already which means he’ll keep going all night with them. Henry uses a Fujiwara Armbar which stuns both myself and Ross. I hate to that jump into the boot when the guy is on the mat spot. It’s just freaking stupid.

Seriously, what was Phineas trying to do there? Vince saying do your job to a referee makes me laugh as back then we never knew he could fire the referee. Henry hits the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Hawk but waits too long and only gets two. We get a history lesson from Ross about the Confederate Flag. Ok then. After a brief brawl, the LOD hit the Doomsday Device on Henry for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was an ok match I guess, but DANG how many times can these teams fight? They were the Orton/HHH of the tag division of their day as this feud just went on and on and on and never stopped until one team left the company. It never went anywhere and never got interesting at all. Somehow, this might have been the best of their matches, which isn’t saying much at all. This was pretty bad, but whatever.

Apparently Shamrock is hurt and can’t fight Vader tonight due to some injuries. He was just hitting his stride in the ring and was starting to get some reactions from the crowds which was the point all along. Rockabilly, Billy Gunn’s current failure of a gimmick, comes down for no apparent reason. He talks trash and taps to an ankle lock to keep Shamrock hot which is smart I guess.

Bret is in the back and gets another mixed reaction. He’s a heel now but in Europe he’s much more popular. Never mind as he’s getting booed rather loudly again. This is one of the most boring promos of all time and Vince tries so hard to make Bret the heel here as he continues to put idea in the heads of the people which doesn’t work here. Bret admits he cares what the fans think to wrap this up.

Vader vs. Owen Hart

Owen is subbing for Shamrock here and Vader means absolutely nothing anymore. Vader is Patriot’s friend or something like that. It was one of those hey we’re friends now despite having nothing at all in common things. Owen gets a very solid pop. Lawler brings up an interesting point as he says that the fans boo Bret and cheer Owen, which is indeed odd.

This is an interesting matchup if nothing else. So I’m about 8 minutes into this and it’s actually really good. Owen keeps trying to slam Vader for the kind of Hogan vs. Andre moment but of course it doesn’t work as he’s less than half the size of Vader. Vader uses very basic power stuff but it’s working very well. I’m not sure what it is but this is working really well for me. It’s slow but it’s not boring at all really.

Vader uses an ankle lock of all things and gets out by injuring his own leg. Owen keeps trying to get in various holds or shots but the power game keeps getting him out of there. He hits the middle rope splash which only gets two to stun everyone in the world. Owen hit the kick that half killed Shawn to get the Sharpshooter and the fans are INTO this. He actually gets the slam and of course it gets two BECAUSE IT’S A FREAKING BODY SLAM!

One shot from Vader and he sets for the Vader Bomb but Owen gets the knees up. That should have pretty much snapped both of his legs but whatever. He goes up and hits a missile dropkick and nips up and the crowd is going nuts. He goes up again and gets powerslammed for the pin. Awesome match.

Rating: A-. That’s probably high but I really liked this. The fans helped it a lot as they were hot. This was basic big guy vs. little guy which is a formula that just flat out works. It’s hard to mess that up and they certainly nailed it here. Owen and Vader could work very well when given the chance and that’s what they did here. This was likely Vader’s last meaningful win.

Taker says Bret should be ready to rest in peace.

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

This is the rematch from Summerslam where Michaels cost Taker the title to Bret, leading to the Shawn vs. Taker feud that ended in the Cell. Taker’s entrance is short here, only taking about two or three minutes. Man it’s awesome to think that Bret signed again, and I’m not even a huge fan of his. This is an interesting case as Bret is clearly the big heel in America but worldwide he’s far more popular, yet here he’s getting booed anyway.

Taker’s pop was great. Bret’s…existed. I freaking LOVE that thing where Taker is getting punched in the corner and grabs the other guy by the throat and throws him into the corner to beat on them. It’s easily my favorite Taker move. Less than two minutes in, Bret takes the turnbuckle pad off to really make himself the heel. Oh he didn’t get it off but he tried. Ok never mind it is off. That was odd.

Vince says WHAT A MATCHUP THIS IS about 3 minutes into it. That must have been a heck of a three minute interval. The fans are unsure who to cheer for here. It’s hard to believe that Montreal was less than two months away after this. After we brawl on the floor for a bit we’re back in the ring as Bret uses a DDT, making him instantly cool. This is going back and forth which is always a good thing I think.

If Vince says mixed reaction one more time I’m going to freaking scream. WE GET IT ALREADY. After hitting the buckle, Bret gets his back worked over. Bret comes back and naturally goes after the leg, which makes sense. That of course goes on and on for days. Sorry Maria just came out on Smackdown so the song is in my head.

He gets the figure four on the ringpost that of course does very little pain but we’ll ignore that for the sake of disbelief. Lawler calls Bret Bret-Man for some reason that I don’t get. He goes to a figure four as you could almost plot out a long Bret match. Again we hear that the figure four puts pressure on seven different parts of the leg.

That number has changed about 100 times over the years so we’ll go with 7 for now. After it being reversed, Bret gets the ropes to a chorus of boos. Taker, freaking learn to sell a knee. I’m tired of this. You’ve been a huge part of the company for the better part of ever and you can’t sell a basic knee injury.

Come on man. You’ve had your leg worked on all night and now you have the leg strength to run the ropes back and forth. That’s just freaking stupid. Oh sure NOW your leg hurts. Give me a freaking break Taker. Bret uses the Summerslam 91 counter to hook the Sharpshooter which never gets old. Taker powers out which no one has ever seen before, so obviously they weren’t at Mania 13.

A second attempt is countered by a hand around the throat. And here comes the Pheonom. The chokeslam doesn’t hit, but he’s back again. The lack of leg selling is just ticking me off though. Dude, limp. Is it that hard to do? Bret is even limping a bit after having the figure four reversed. He grabs the bell but a boot to the face stops that. Taker can’t use it either and gets a chop block as a result.

He goes for that cannonball onto the bottom rope again but it fails as Taker kicks him through the ropes and into the camera man, giving us the eternally amusing spot of the camera going all over the place. Old School gets reversed as they’re busting out everything here. Tombstone is reversed into a rollup for two as the fans are into this. Bret, like an idiot, goes for a tombstone. Because he’s not named Kane, it doesn’t work.

Somehow he gets his head stuck between the ropes which has to hurt badly. Taker starts hitting him which draws the CHEAP DQ ending. That earns the referee a chokeslam. Owen comes and gets Bret out along with I think Brisco who gets chokeslammed also. And now Taker gets booed. MAKE UP YOUR STUPID MIND ENGLISH PEOPLE! Bret being announced as still champion gets a, say it with me, mixed reaction.

Rating: B+. This is like Sting vs. Vader: it’s freaking HARD to mess up. Do you remember a truly bad match between these two? I certainly don’t. They had a solid match here but Taker’s lack of selling was complete and utter crap. I hate that about Taker. Also, this was kind of a standard match between these two for the most part, but that’s fine I guess. Either way, this was very fun with the five minutes before the ending being incredibly good.

The cheapending sucked badly though. Seriously, after nearly half an hour we get a DQ over something like that? That doesn’t work for me at all. If those two things are fixed, this is an easy A or A+.

Shawn says he’s ready.

European Title: Shawn Michaels vs. British Bulldog

Now if you want to talk about a mixed reaction, Shawn gets a mixed reaction. I mean it’s right down the middle. Davey of course gets the big old hero pop that you knew he would get. While it may seem obvious as to who is going to win here, this wasn’t as in the bag as it appeared to be. Smith losing here would have caused about as big of a riot as Bret losing in Montreal.

Smith is about as over here as Vince would be in a “Who’s got the biggest ego contest”. Shawn walks up the ramp for no apparent reason before coming back to the ring. Smith starts off by completely overpowering Shawn who again walks up the ramp. In a cool looking spot, with Shawn on the apron and looking away from the ring, Smith hooks him for a reverse suplex and just drops him back into the ring. It looks a lot better than it sounds.

Vince says he’s surprised Shawn didn’t break in half. Say that again in about four months Vinny. How many freaking big time matches have these guys had? They have the final SNME match, they have KOTR 97 and now this. That’s a lot for a series of big matches when you think about it, especially over that long of a stretch of time. Bulldog is ridiculously popular and is dominating.

Apparently he’s dropped about 20 pounds or so, which is about 2 stones. Vince says Shawn is in his prime. I don’t know about that, but it’s close enough. As Bulldog beats on him for a good while, here’s Rick Rude, who was the insurance policy for Shawn in what would form into DX. They had been hanging out lately but nothing concrete had happened yet.

We hit the sleeper now to kill off a bit of time which is fine by me. Lawler says not to adjust the TV. Who does that? I mean really, have you ever adjusted your TV? I certainly haven’t. The pace slows a lot with Shawn working on the arm, which means you know what’s coming. Yep, there it is, as Smith shows incredible power and picks up Shawn while he’s in an arm lock.

Here’s HHH and Chyna as I wonder WHERE ARE THE HARTS??? Shawn starts his finishing sequence and goes for Chin Music in the corner of all places but Smith counters into the powerslam. Rude grabs the foot and we hit the floor where the kick connects. Rude and HHH beat on him as somehow the referee sees none of this which is just completely ridiculous but whatever.

HHH even hits the Pedigree on the floor. Apparently Davey is wearing a knee brace for a bad knee which hasn’t been mentioned until just now. Well alright then. HHH and Chyna help Shawn and pull him about 6 inches. Seriously, how can the referee not freaking notice this??? Now Rude interferes again as this is beyond stupid now. Oh apparently Bulldog slipped off the platform that the ring is on and hurt his knee.

Well that’s something I guess. The referee stops the match to give Shawn the title and the Grand Slam. There are rumors that Smith was supposed to win but Shawn and HHH played politics to get the win as close to two days before this show. Somehow, I could completely buy that. There was zero need for Shawn to win here, especially in a show never mentioned on American television.

I really don’t…oh you have got to be messing with me. Shawn puts the hold back on and Smith’s wife gets in to help but is picked off by Chyna and BRET AND OWEN HART RUN IN FOR THE SAVE. WHERE IN THE WORLD WERE THEY FIFTEEN FREAKING MINUTES AGO??? COME ON VINCE WILL YOU THINK ONCE IN YOUR STUPID LIFE??? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

If they’re going to run in for the save NOW why not do it when there were three people cheating to help Shawn? DX poses forever to end this. Yeah, after that stupidity, I’d totally buy the HHH and Shawn politics thing.

Rating: B-. The ending here is just so stupid that it makes my head spin, which makes me really think Shawn and HHH had something to do with it. Honestly, what did Shawn gain here? Does anyone remember anything about his European title reign that had to do with him defending the belt? I certainly don’t.

Actually, I remember him losing it on the Christmas show to HHH after Slaughter made them fight because he hadn’t defended it in over two months. What in the world was the point of him getting it here other than to help his own ego? That makes zero sense. Other than that bringing this match WAY down and the Harts looking like idiots, this was a kind of slow match and overly long with the interference sucking the life out of it at the end. It’s not bad, but not great at all.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good show overall. They treated it like a big time PPV and while nothing actually happened, it still came out pretty well I thought. Bret vs. Taker and Owen vs. Vader are both great and the main event isn’t bad at all. The show isn’t bad, but it’s like a lot of other shows from this era: slow at times which hurts it a lot I think.

It’s certainly good with an AMAZING crowd, but the commentary hurts it too as Lawler is beyond annoying with all of the British terms that most don’t get. To be fair though, this was a European PPV so more people would get it. If you can find the full version of this, check it out for sure as it’s certainly something different and worth seeing.

Smackdown
Date: May 6, 2011
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida=
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We’re out of Extreme Rules now and it’s time to get ready for Over the Limit.  Christian has finally won a world title and is here tonight for his first night on the show as champion.  Other than that we’re also officially in the new era of Smackdown with the Draft picks officially being on the show tonight.  I’d assume we’ll start building to the next PPV tonight.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Christian and his career leading up to the world title win on Sunday.  Think that’ll be a theme tonight?

Here’s Christian with the title and of course Cole runs his mouth to make sure the moment isn’t focused on him at all.  I get that you can talk, but there are moments you’re not supposed to talk during.  Cole needs to get this through his head QUICK.  Christian says that he needs to do something and he holds up the title over his head in a pretty cool visual.

It feels great to be champion and he’s worked seventeen years to get here.  Edge sent him a text message saying to enjoy the moment because he earned it.  Christian starts crying a bit and thanks Edge and talks about the Peeps, thanking them for being there all the way for them.  As he’s talking, Mark Henry of all people comes out to interrupt him.

Henry was cheering for him the entire time because he knew he could take the title from him easily.  Henry is getting a main event push?  Must have been two years since he got his last one.  Christian says the belt isn’t made of chocolate.  Edge isn’t here to protect him anymore.  Before he gets anything else out though, here’s Khali to interrupt also.  Singh says Khali says the champion should be someone that has been through stuff like you have in the jungle, like the Great Khali.

Christian talks about Khali being in a tutu on Raw and here’s Orton to a MONSTER pop.  He wants his name thrown into the hat for a title shot.  Here’s Teddy to settle things.  The decision is up to the WWE Universe to pick who gets the title match.  Considering Teddy has to stop for a Randy chant I think the outcome is obvious.  Teddy says Orton wins the poll and the match is TONIGHT.

Back with Singh telling Khali that he’ll get another title match.  They run into Jinder Mahal again who speaks some English this time, saying that things will get better now that he’s here.  Khali leaves and Singh talks to Mahal (towers over Singh) in English.  Mahal isn’t happy with the tutu Khali was in on Sunday.  He comes off as a cocky heel.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Sheamus grabs a headlock takeover to start and the beating starts early.  Bryan sends him to the floor and a suicide dive takes down the human jar of mayonnaise.  This is another basic power vs. speed match and there’s nothing wrong with that in the slightest.  Backbreaker hits as we take a break.  Back with Sheamus holding an armbar the smaller dude.

With Bryan in the ropes Sheamus pounds away as other than that big dive this has been totally one sided.  Shoulder block gets two.  Superplex doesn’t work and a dropkick puts Sheamus down and gives Bryan a chance to breathe.  Well Sheamus’ song does talk about fighting for air so Bryan is just following the instructions Sheamus’ theme music gave him.  Big kick to the head gets two for Bryan.

Double axe puts Bryan back down but the Razor’s Edge (screw the actual name of it as Cole changes it every five matches) is countered into a LeBell Lock which is too close to the rope.  Sheamus hits the floor and Bryan tries the suicide dive again.  In a nice bit of psychology, Sheamus catches him with a Brogue Kick.  Another in the ring and we’re done at 5:35 shown of 9:05.

Rating: B. Good match here as the power vs. speed stuff was working very well indeed.  The psychology at the end there was a very nice touch and something you don’t see enough of in WWE.  With Sheamus learning as the match goes on and drawing on experience from earlier he counters the second attempt.  Nice touch there with the brawler beating the thinking wrestler by out thinking him.

Here’s Cody Rhodes in a suit.  I love the headlines on the screen of him being disfigured and losing his mind because of it.  The people with the bags are here with him.  The lights are off other than a spotlight on Cody.  Rey has injured him again with the mist from Sunday.  Cody talks about how he forced Rey to expose himself….somehow.  His eyes are still burning but even through burning eyes he can see that everyone here is still ugly.  The bags go out, including to a good looking blonde.  The bags may offend you, but the people’s faces disgust him.  He’s awesomely into this character and it’s great.

We get a quick recap of the bonus tag title match on Sunday with Jackson dominating the entire time until Barrett tried to get the glory.

Big Show vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Show is on Raw but he’s a tag champion so he can be on both shows.  All of the Corre is here with Jackson.  Kane comes out to even the odds a bit because those two vs. Corre has gone SO well in the past right?  We ring the bell after a break which helps my timing a lot.  Well I’d assume it rang just as we came back as they don’t seem to have done much but were locked up when we came back.  Hindrances all around.

Show uses technical stuff of all things and gets a front facelock.  Jackson is like screw that and backdrops Show with ease.  Jackson rams into Show and a slam gets two.  Off to a chinlock as I think Jackson has a minor hernia.  Suplex gets Show out of the hold as this is better than it sounds.  Show fires off some clotheslines to set up the chokeslam.  Corre tries to get involved but Kane fights them off….kind of.  Everything breaks down into a brawl until we get back into the ring.  Jackson gets a boot and a big clothesline for the pin at 3:32 shown.

Rating: C+. Not bad here as the battle of the big men worked pretty well here I thought.  Jackson’s power is scary stuff as he was throwing Show around even better than Cena does and almost at the level Lesnar was.  I probably overrated this but this was one of the better battles of the big men I’ve seen in awhile.

Jackson leaves on his own, much like Ryan did on Raw.

Time for the Raw portion of the show as we get the same video from NXT on Rock’s birthday.  That I’m Coming Home song would be far better if Diddy wasn’t in it at all.  Eats up four minutes.

Layla vs. Alicia Fox

I’m not complaining about Fox’s hips that have a mind of their own, but what exactly is she supposed to be?  Layla is still trying this face turn so I guess this is her debut on the light side of the Force.  And never mind as the Layout ends this in 52 seconds.  As eventful as it sounds.  There was some standing around, some lockups, some more standing around, a shoulder to the ribs in the corner and the neckbreaker.  You put the order together yourselves.

Kharma comes out post match and ends Alicia with a clothesline, apparently legit injuring her.  Nothing to Layla as her smorgasbord of heels continues.  No one bet on that one so points for a surprise I guess.  Layla had the sense to RUN AWAY unlike Kelly who just sat there.  Alicia actually tried hitting her.  Oh yeah Alicia landed right on her shoulder there.  Implant Buster finishes this.

In the back Corre comes up to Jackson and they aren’t happy.  Barrett says look at him and Jackson drills him.  The numbers eventually catch up to him and the beatdown is on.  Chair to the…..uh…..somewhere from Barrett is finally enough to slow him down.  They shove what looks like a big laundry basket on him and leave him laying, out cold.

Chavo is on commentary for the next match.

Sin Cara vs. Tyson Kidd

He nails the entrance this time.  They do the lights thing again for this match.  Chavo sounds like he’s gearing up for a feud with Cara.  Cara is moving too fast to call every thing.  A double revolution rana sends Kidd to the floor where Kidd takes over for a bit.  Cara is like screw this and fires off some kicks and a Tajiri elbow.  Springboard cross body gets two.  Chavo says Cara is stealing most of these moves from him.  Kidd gets in a kick and tries what looks to be a tornado DDT, but gets caught in the C4 from the top to end this at 2:48.

Rating: C+. FAR better than his Raw stuff as either the lack of being live or the editing makes Cara look about 20x better.  Probably too short to grade but they’re my ratings so who cares?  They got a ton of stuff in here and it felt a lot longer than it was, but in a good way.  Chavo is a good guy to put him with as he knows lucha libre and can probably keep up with Cara for the most part.  Good match and Cara’s best yet by far.

Chavo stares Cara down post match and shakes his hand.

Video on the anti-bullying campaign from Raw.  Yes, we get it.  Bullying is bad.  I’m so fed up with it that I want to go beat up a 9 year old and take his lunch money.

Teddy says it’s fair for Christian to defend the title tonight because it’s what the fans want.  Also Orton had a last man standing match on Raw and Cena defended the title just one day after Raw.  Both good points.  Long says that it’s his job to make Smackdown unpredictable.  Foreshadowing of a new style on Fridays perhaps?

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

This show has flown by it seems.  Regarding Christian’s pop, in the words of Riddler from Batman Forever, “Your entrance was good, his was better.”  Headlock by Orton to start but Christian gets a shoulder for two.  Orton hammers away and the crowd eats it up with a spoon like soup or Jello or pork or other things eaten with a spoon.  The champ sends him to the floor and gets a delayed baseball slide to take Orton down, only to be taken down as well as we take a break.

Back in the ring with Orton in total control.  Orton works on the ribs and gets a reverse waistlock (looks like he’s about to hit a German) which looks like the cover of a very freaky Christmas card.  They hit the floor via a Cactus Clothesline by Orton as we take break #2.  Back with Christian holding a chinlock for only a few seconds.  Orton gets a belly to back and both guys are down.

They slug it out a bit and Orton hits that gorgeous dropkick to put Christian down.  He goes all psycho but Christian gets the pendulum kick in the corner and a middle rope missile dropkick for two.  Guillotine over the top sets up a cross body off the top for two for Christian.  Fans are way into this.  Middle rope elbow (love that move still) hits and let the clapping begin!

For some reason Christian charges at him and gets caught by a powerslam for two.  Christian slides to the floor to try a right hand to Randy as he’s in a 619 position but Orton avoids it to hit the elevated DDT for two.  Angle Slam is countered into a reverse DDT for two.  Slam hits this time and it’s RKO time.  Since it’s the first attempt it’s countered as is the Killswitch.  Christian goes to the middle rope and tries a spinning something off of it, proving why he’s an idiot as YOU DON’T JUMP AT ORTON!  RKO ends the 5 day reign at 10:08 shown of 17:08.

Rating: B. Good match here and Christian definitely looked strong throughout.  People are going to complain about the reign looking bad due to it being too short, but at the same time he had two matches and this was by far the weaker one and this was a very good TV match.  Orton is a far bigger star and Christian got the reign that everyone wanted him to get.  The fanboys will be up in arms over it, but you have to just ignore them as they’ll never be pleased.  He got his title, he got his moment, he had two great matches and lost it.  No harm no foul in my eyes.

Christian leaves the ring to an ovation and looks like he’s forced to retire.  Pretty sad moment but it’s not like he’s leaving forever.  He lost clean.  The shot of him going into the back ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. Two good matches, some storyline developments and a new world champion make this hard to go against.  A lot of the matches were short but a nice long main event more than makes up for it.  They didn’t really have things in neutral but with such a short turn around before the next PPV I’m not sure they can do anything but Christian vs. Orton II at Over the Limit.  Still though, very solid show as Smackdown looks good going forward.

Results

Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick

Ezekiel Jackson b. Big Show – Clothesline

Layla b. Alicia Fox – Layout

Sin Cara b. Tyson Kidd – Top rope C4

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO