Smackdown
Date: February 4, 2011
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the first show since we officially started the Road to Wrestlemania with Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge being the tentative match for the title at the biggest PPV of the year.  Edge/Kelly vs. Ziggler/Laycool for the title tonight which certainly sounds intriguing.  Also expect the beginning of the set up to Elimination Chamber.  Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy?  Where I live it’s SNOW.

There’s a fiesta tonight apparently and there’s a Wrestlemania piñata.  Yes let’s take something we love and are looking forward to and beat it with a stick.

Here’s Booker T and he’s apparently the new member of Smackdown’s announce team.  Cool, and based on what he looked like at the Rumble hopefully he’s an occasional wrestler.  We get a Spinarooni to really get the crowd going.  Booker got a good reaction.  It’s like he hadn’t been around since 2007.

Vickie interrupts Booker’s entrance and says that we’ll get qualifying matches tonight for the Smackdown Elimination Chamber which will be for the title.  Ziggler is with Vickie.  She orders Kelly to come out here right now which prompts a bunch of screeching.  Ah there she is.  Booker’s voice is much better than it was when he did some commentary with TNA.  It’s clear and deep instead of hard to understand.

Vickie yells at Kelly, saying that without her interference Dolph would be the world champion.  She’d rather humiliate Kelly instead of firing her.  Kelly is going to cost Edge the world title tonight.  Kelly says Vickie is trying to destroy her character.  Kelly has a character?  Oh she means her personality.  Kelly has a personality?  Ah ok she’s saying Vickie is a bad person.  Makes more sense.

Dolph blames Kelly for the world title loss because she allowed Edge to hit the illegal spear.  We see a clip of it, which makes me wonder why Vickie doesn’t just reverse it since she’s GM and there’s proof Edge broke the rules.  Dolph: “Now Vickie can’t reverse the referee’s decision.”  Wait why not?  She can do ANYTHING but she can’t reverse it?  She can’t make the referee reverse it?  She can’t show the referee the tape and have him do it for her?  I love the ever changing rules in wrestling.

Anyway Ziggler yells at Kelly, blaming her for him not being champion.  The only reason she’s here is because she may be the reason Dolph wins the world title tonight.  Until then she can get out.  Kelly slaps Dolph and shoves Kelly.  Cue Laycool until Edge comes out for the save.

Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

Non-title here.  We get a clip from Raw of Orton attacking the New Nexus and putting out Harris.  I missed him RKOing Harris so I thought Harris was down from the Cobra for like three minutes.  That punt looked good too.  I might be missing something but it sounds like Corre’s music is different here.  Kozlov vs. Gabriel to start.  Booker is having some issues getting in on the commentary here but I can definitely give him a break on the first night.

Off to Slater vs. Santino.  Booker says Cole talks a lot of nonsense so he’s definitely a nice guy commentator.  He talks about how there has to be a leader on all teams, but Josh has to lead him into it.  Slater gets a nice reverse DDT to Kozlov and the 450 ends this perfectly clean at 3:03.

Rating: D+. This was just long enough to rate but there wasn’t much here.  The DDT was nice but that’s about all it had going for it.  I really don’t get the idea of having your tag champions constantly lose clean.  Corre could use some titles I guess so I could live with the titles changing down the line.  Very short even at a surprising level.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre

We’re told that Edge and Ziggler are automatically in the Chamber because Edge is champion and Dolph just because.  Booker has no comment on that.  We’re of course talking about the Chamber and since Booker has experience in one, Cole cuts him off every few seconds.  Basic back and forth stuff to start us off.  Booker talked to Drew and he says he’s the Chosen One but Booker isn’t sure.

I know I’m talking about the announcers a lot but it’s one of the main aspects of the show tonight.  Kofi gets a jumping back elbow for two.  Not a lot is going on in the ring anyway so the commentary and how Booker is doing is a bit more interesting anyway.  Armbar by Kofi as they’re seeming to have issues getting off the ground here.  Could be a slow build though which is fine.

Pendulum kick in the corner breaks the little bit of momentum Drew had and a clothesline puts him on the floor.  We hit the floor with Kofi in control until Drew manages to get a modified flapjack to send Kofi into the steps as we take a break.  Back with Drew getting a back elbow for two.  Wisely Drew goes after the ribs with something close to an abdominal stretch on the mat.

Kofi gets dropped on the ribs in a gutbuster which gets two for McIntyre.  Drew gets a nice dropkick to put Kofi down for two.  Cole rants about Lawler for awhile until Drew tries a clothesline.  Kofi jumps up into the air and spins around, catching Drew with a DDT.  That was awesome looking.  Kofi hammers away in the corner and stomps a mudhole in him.

Superman punch/clothesline gets two.  Boom Drop hits and Kofi wants Trouble in Paradise.  Drew manages to avoid the kick though…and here’s Ricardo on the big screen to introduce Alberto?  He doesn’t say anything but just stares down Kofi (remember Kofi beat him in a tag match last week).  The distraction is enough for the Futureshock to end it at 9:42 shown of 13:12.

Rating: B. This picked up in the second half but wasn’t as good as some of their other matches.  Still though, this was pretty solid.  Also if it sets up Alberto vs. Kofi to fill in time until Mania I certainly can’t complain.  Either way, decent enough match and Drew going to the Chamber gives him something to do while the Kelly story develops.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Jack Swagger

This should be pretty good.  The push-ups are back!  Apparently Cody Rhodes is going to have facial reconstruction surgery next week.  Swagger’s boots are a brighter color and they’re taking some getting used to.  Rey sends him to the floor as we take an early break.  Back with Swagger sending Rey into the corner which gets him nowhere.

Rey gets a cross body for two.  619 is avoided though so Rey tries what might have been an Asai Moonsault.  Jack blocks it though and Rey’s legs are tied up in the ropes.  Back to the ring with Swagger working on the knee.  The leg goes around the post which gets two.  Back to the floor with Swagger in complete and utter control.  After knocking over a Red Bull we’re back in the ring.

Vader Bomb gets two.  Swagger picks him up and throws him across the ring.  I love basic moves like that.  Another Vader Bomb misses though and here comes Rey.  Tornado DDT takes Swagger down for two.  Rey tries the 619 but Swagger grabs the legs for the ankle lock.  Rey is in the ropes though.  Not that it matters though as Swagger pulls him back to the middle.  Rey sends him into the corner and gets a kick into a rollup to end this at 8:37 shown of 11:07.

Rating: C+. I couldn’t get into this one for some reason.  It’s definitely good and Swagger working on the knee is a good story for the match.  My issue with it though is that Rey didn’t have to do much at all to take over and win here.  That’s not good in my eyes as it makes Swagger look weak.  I get that Rey is the superhero but can they make it look like they’re trying?

We get a clip from Raw of Alberto picking his opponent.

Edge and Kelly are in the back and Edge says he didn’t think his title reign would end like this.  Kelly says Edge has no faith in her and that Edge is just like Drew McIntyre before storming off.

Here are Horny and Rosa who looks a bit different now.  They throw some t-shirts to the fans until Ricardo introduces Alberto.  He says his usual stuff while Horny and Rosa are still in the ring.  Alberto has a present for Horny: the piñata.  The candies and toys are symbols of everything he wants to give to all his fans here in New Jersey, drawing nice heat (show is in New York).

Horny is blindfolded and swings the stick while the piñata is still in the air.  Naturally he misses and hits Alberto low.  Alberto enters a higher level of heelness as he kicks Horny in the head and hammers away.  Kofi runs down for the save.  Ricardo distracts Kofi though and Del Rio beats him up with the stick and throws on the cross armbreaker.

Stone Cold is hosting Tough Enough.  Booker throws in that he’ll be a coach on Tough Enough.  That’s kind of cool actually and something he’d be great at.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Kane

Uh…yeah.  I wonder if this lasts longer than their Wrestlemania match.  Well there’s that record.  Chavo goes up and is caught in the chokeslam.  He counters though by clothesline Kane over the top.  Frog Splash hits but Kane catches him in the chokeslam from the mat and it’s over at 1:02.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Big Show vs. Wade Barrett

Yeah Corre definitely has new music here and it’s much better.  It’s a toned down song this time that still has lyrics.  All of Corre comes out and surround the ring.  This is for the final spot in the Chamber.  Barrett has to keep moving and gets a shot to the knee to take over.  Barrett gets sent into the corner where he crushes the referee.  Jackson comes in to run over Show but only gets two.  And never mind as a DDT by Barrett ends it seconds later at 2:00.  This was incredibly quick.

Show tries to fight off Corre post match but gets slammed.  Jackson grabs a mic and says the end has come, it has awakened against you.

That sets the Chamber at Edge vs. Ziggler vs. Barrett vs. McIntyre vs. Mysterio vs. Kane.

Smackdown World Title: Kelly Kelly/Edge vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

We even get big match intros for this.  Chimmel has cut down on the throat cracking during Edge’s intro.  The genders have to match here.  Vickie says if there’s a spear the title is vacated.  The guys start us off with Edge in control.  He wants the spear and Vickie shouts at him to do it.  Ziggler tags both members of Laycool so we get Michelle.  Off to Kelly to make it Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool for the World Heavyweight Championship as we take a break.

Kelly is all fired up here and beats up both members of Laycool with her gymnastics.  Instead though Michelle catches a rana on the floor and spins Kelly into the barricade.  That gets two back in the ring.  Dolph: “Stay down Barbie!”  Layla in now as Kelly is in trouble.  Belly to belly by Michelle gets two.  Kelly backflips out of a suplex and slaps the heck out of McCool to put both girls down.

Is there a reason why the initials on Dolph’s tights are backwards?  Layla gets a head scissors choke on Kelly for a bit.  Kelly fights back and it’s an X-Factor to break the momentum.  The referee misses the tag to Edge allows Layla to beat on Kelly a bit more.  Edge goes after Ziggler anyway but Michelle misses a big kick to Layla.  Edge is ready for the tag but instead Kelly spears Layla to retain the world title at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C. Decent main event here with a nice ending.  Vickie said Edge couldn’t use a spear, not Kelly.  It’s kind of cheap but it worked just fine for the ending to a TV main event.  I’d have liked more Edge though as he was in there maybe a minute.  I guess that was the point though as it made the title seem to be in jeopardy.  This was just ok though as it was really Kelly vs. Laycool for the most part.  Still though, creative way to have Edge be in trouble.

Post match Kelly gets fired.  So Vickie can fire people but can’t coerce a referee to change a decision?  She yells at Kelly about how she never cared about Vickie and how this is her show and all that jazz.  After Kelly is gone, Vickie makes Edge vs. Dolph for next week with her as guest referee.  Perhaps a title change for a quick title reign before the PPV?  Zig Zag to Edge out of nowhere ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Not a bad show but a bit different than what they’ve done recently.  Either way this was a pretty good show.  They set up the Chamber perfectly and also gave us more of Ziggler vs. Edge.  They’re doing a decent job of channeling Vince vs. Austin with Austin being put through torture.  The one key thing though: they’re not trying to recreate it but rather use a similar story.  That’s very important.  It’s not Austin vs. Vince.  It’s Edge vs. Vickie.  Let it be that and it’ll be a good story.  Anyway, not bad at all this week.

Results

Drew McIntyre b. Kofi Kingston – Futureshock

Rey Mysterio b. Jack Swagger – Rollup

Kane b. Chavo Guerrero – Chokeslam

Wade Barrett b. Big Show – DDT

Edge/Kelly Kelly b. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler – Kelly speared Layla

Victory Road 2004
Date: November 7, 2004
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 700
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

Well you knew I would start doing these eventually so here’s the first one. TNA is officially the number two company in the world, but back in the day they were more or less fighting for their lives every night. This was a major step for them though as all of a sudden they were mainstream with a show on FOX Sports South and now PPV.

The main two matches here are Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Hardy (pre-main event appeal) in a ladder match and the X-Division Title match with AJ Styles taking on Petey Williams. Oh and Hall and Nash are debuting here. This sound familiar to anyone? Let’s get to it.

The intro is kind of a western theme about how we make our own destinies. It’s pretty basic really but it sets the stage I guess. We do however begin the idea of having every announcement be overblown and made to see huge when they just aren’t. It’s not bad but it’s fine I guess.

X-Division Gauntlet

The winner gets a cup. Ok then. This is called a reverse battle royal which in reality is a Royal Rumble and then the final two have a singles match. Kaz is number one and Sonjay Dutt is number two. It’s out of 20 mind you. In other words it’s the main event of the first weekly PPV. The time is sixty seconds here. Michael Shane and Kaz hold the X-Division Title at this point mind you.

Puma, a Japanese wrestler is 3rd. This is pure spotfest stuff here but that’s really all it needs to be for the most part. La Parka is number four. Oh he’s LA Park now. Good to know. I wonder if his brother is named Central and lives on the east coast. He has the chair and does that stupid dance of his. Jerelle Clark, a guy that did nothing at all ever, is number 5.

He’s Mr. 630 because he could do a 630 flip. Yeah I’m not impressed either. Miyamoto is number 6. He’s on Team Japan which is an actual team of Japanese wrestlers. There was a thing called the World X Cup which was way too complicated and not a lot of people cared about it but whatever. They keep the clock on the screen here which is nice. Michael Shane, the co-X-Division champion is number 7.

More importantly than anything else in his career, he’s Shawn Michaels’ cousin, hence the name. Puma is the first guy out. Clark is too. Miyamoto is out We have the champions, LA Parka and Dutt. Number 8 is Hector Garza, who is the captain of Team Mexico. The clock is messed up now of course. Nosawa, another Japanese guy, is 9th. This is taking way too long and there aren’t enough stars in there. You can’t use this crowd to grade it though as they’ll cheer for everything.

Mikey Batts is 10th. See what I’m having to deal with here? There’s just nothing interesting happening at all here. Alex Shelley, a more or less unknown heel at this point, is 11th. He puts Dutt out to clean out a bit of the clutter in there. There goes Parka also. Matt Sydal is number 12. He’s more commonly known as Evan Bourne which is what he’ll be called here.

Shelley goes through the ropes so he’s still in and has a back injury. Sonny Siaki who I think signed with WWE for awhile is 13th. What do you expect: he’s a musclehead. Nosawa is gone. Jason Cross is number 14. Oh great it’s Shark Boy. That’s just who I wanted to see in here. Shelley pulls out Bourne and Psycosis is 16th. D-Ray 3000, perhaps the most worthless wrestler ever, is 17th.

They’re just killing time out here and it’s not interesting in the slightest. Both he and Shark Boy are put out by Siaki. Eighteenth is Amazing Red. Shelley finally goes out. Kendrick, called Spanky here, is 19th. Chris Sabin is 20th as this just needs to end. Seriously, THIS is opening the show. It’s 1/6 of the entire show and everyone is ok with that. Siaki is out. Spanky puts out Shane. I hate that name.

In the most contrived spot I’ve ever seen, we get a seven man Tower of Doom. Give me a break. Jason Cross is gone, no word yet on if anyone not related to him cares. Red gets a nice superkick and puts out Psychosis. And Red is out next. Spanky is out and we’re down to Sabin, Garza and Kaz who started it. Sabin goes out so it’s Garza vs. Kaz for the cup. This is SO much more entertaining than say, the X Champions fighting EACH OTHER?

Garza hits a sweet moonsault that gets a long two. Garza takes a DDT and gets up at four which is called two for some reason. He then misses his big corkscrew move and rolls up Kaz to get the win. I hated this match. Naturally his interview is all in Spanish and there’s no translation. That’s perfect right? Oh there is one. I just don’t care.

Rating: D. The spots were cool, but this was WAY too long. Seriously, we just spent half an hour on a match for a cup. Does anyone else see why this was freaking stupid or is it just me? TNA doesn’t get it, so things are all normal I guess. Garza would be deported in like a month.

Ron Killings/Erik Watts/Johnny B. Badd/Pat Kenney vs. Dallas/Kid Kash/Naturals

Oh look MORE people in the same match. Could this get any worse? Why would you sign Mero at this point? Seriously, why? Dallas is now known as Vance Archer and Killings is R-Truth in case you didn’t know. This is just what you would expect it to be: bad wrestling but overhyped to heck and back by West and Tenay. Badd is said to be a legend.

Even in his own mind I don’t think he’s that dumb. To the shock of no one, this turns into a big brawl. They do the random people jump into the ring and get knocked out again spots as this has no flow to it at all. Badd hits a hurricanrana to set up something resembling a Pedigree from Truth for the pin. Badd was gone in a few months as was Watts. Kenney (Simon Diamond for you ECW guys) was seen once in awhile I think.

Rating: D+. There was just no point to this at all. It was all over the place and had no flow to it. This makes 28 wrestlers in two matches. Do you think that’s enough? It’s complete overkill at this point and is just insane.

Some actor from Dodgeball says that Nash isn’t in a limo with him.

Mascarita Sagrada vs, Piratita Morgan

And we have a midget match. Morgan is a pirate. We hear the history of midget wrestling from Tenay who tries to make this interesting and fails. This is incredibly short and Sagrada wins with a small package. This is exactly what you would have expected it to be.

Rating: N/A. It was no more interesting or boring than any other match not having Max Mini in it.

Hall says Nash isn’t here. Shock and surprise, he’ll be here later. Can no one get to a show on time?

Tag Titles: 3 Live Kru vs. Team Canada

Team Canada here is Bobby (Robert) Roode and Eric Young while 3LK is Konnan and Road Dogg. They use the Freebird rule to fight and will use it if they win the belts here, along with Ron Killings. Anyway, this is the finale of a long feud between them which of course didn’t end here. We start with Roadie and Roode. For the life of me I do not get the hype on this guy. He’s ok and that’s it.

People to this day think he could be a main event guy. Why? Tell me one thing that he could do that would validate him as a main event guy. And I don’t mean a line like just watch him or how can’t you see it. Pretend I’m stupid and tell me what it is that this guy has that makes him a big star. Konnan is in now with Young and these two just amuse me to no end.

We have a guy that no one cares about that tries desperately to play up the gimmick of being from another country which makes him interesting when he’s just bland otherwise and no one cares about him, and then we have Eric Young. We hit the formula portion of our event with the heels working over Roadie to build up Konnan for the hot tag.

Does anyone else see this sucking harder than a Diva wanting to get a job? I miss Scott D’Amore. The guy was a fat waste of oxygen but he was a decent talker and heel manager. Nothing great here but it’s kind of like the first Mania where the tag titles changed: it allows you to have a title change so the show is memorable and has some impact to steal a pun from myself.

Konnan finally gets the tag after a heel miscommunication (remember folks: TNA is breaking NEW ground!) spot and cleans house. It of course turns into a brawl with Roadie being fine after getting taken out for about 4 minutes. D’Amore tries to use the hockey stick but Killings comes in for the save and a BAD looking X-Factor gives the Kru the titles.

Rating: C. It was average, plain and simple. This match could have been on any TV or house show or PPV and it would have been fine. At seven minutes long they didn’t have much time to get anything substantial going but still, this wasn’t much but it was fine for what it was I suppose.

And now we have Piper’s Pit with Jimmy Snuka. This has seriously been done to death and for the life of me I don’t get it. We understand: Snuka got hit with a coconut twenty years ago at this point. WE GET IT! Piper apparently wants to make amends by letting Snuka, who looks BAD hit him with a coconut.

This goes on for a few minutes until Kid Kash comes out. Naturally there’s a brawl, including the Naturals in a nice pun that was unintentional, and everyone leaves as the fat man takes his jacket off. I have no clue why this happened.

Trinity vs. ???

She issued an open challenge, Jacqueline accepts it, the guys she manages interfere, Trinity wins with a moonsault to prove she can wrestle and doesn’t just have a job because she looks decent and that’s it.

Rating: N/A. Can you tell I didn’t care? I hope I was subtle with it.

Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Raven

This is the original Monster’s Ball match, which originally was far different. The idea here is that the guys have been locked up without light or food for 24 hours. This aspect has since completely disappeared due to reasons of sanity and now it’s just a regular hardcore match. The announcers say that Raven has the advantage here as he’s smaller and crazier which makes sense, at least in the lack of food and light idea.

We have a table set up inside of 30 seconds. Abyss is dominating here for the most part. It’s really more of an intense triple threat rather than a hardcore match and now we have chairs coming in. Raven really is underrated in the ring. I love what Brown does by just chucking a chair at Raven’s head. That’s awesome. Naturally we have a ref bump because they’re required I suppose.

Now we move to the big spots of the match as we have Brown sitting on the top rope and Abyss busts out the tacks. Since he’s the only one wearing a shirt you know that he’s the guy that’s going to wind up going through them. Yep, Raven comes in to powerbomb him while he’s trying to suplex Brown. That wasn’t predictable at all. Not a bit. Raven gets two off of it and then we set up another stupid spot as the table is set up in the corner and Raven gets Pounced (a spear/tackle) through it. It was a mess of course.

Rating: D+. These things are going to happen and while I can’t stand them, I get that there’s a point to them. There is a market for these I guess and at least they’re keeping it shorter. There’s really no way to make these good without going too far, but this was really lackluster even for one of these.

AJ wants to be champion again.

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. AJ Styles

AJ was a huge star almost at this point but he was still the king of the midcard as he would be for a long time to come, as in like 5 years. These two just go freaking nuts like an old school cruiserweight match. AJ hits a perfect backflip off the apron to the floor and then a senton over the top rope to the floor. Petey takes over with a jawbreaker and we get down to a bit more of a standard match to set up AJ’s big comeback.

For a crowd the all loves AJ that’s a heck of a dueling chant they have going. Ok that was cool. Petey puts AJ in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch. He does it again and AJ does more or less a really bit sit up and grabs AJ to pull him back in a German suplex which he follows with a Pele. I LOVE that springboard forearm. It just looks awesome.

Both guys counter each other’s finisher and then AJ just chucks Petey into the corner. That’s one way to do it I guess. AJ has the pin but the fat Canadian coach interrupts it. AJ kicks out of a belt shot so at least the match should be ok for the ending as that would have killed it for me. After more interference, we get the awesome finish as Petey hits the Canadian Destroyer, which is just completely awesome. It’s a jumping flip piledriver. In other words he’s got him in a regular piledriver but jumps forward and does a full flip before hitting it. That’s just amazing on a lot of levels.

Rating: B. This was very fun but AJ should have gone over here. I mean it’s your biggest show and your top face for the most part goes over to a generic guy with a cool finisher. That just doesn’t make sense to me, but it’s TNA so why am I surprised? Fun match though.

Dang there haven’t been many interviews tonight.

We recap this way too long of a feud with nothing of note to talk about. They hate each other, end of recap.

XXX vs. America’s Most Wanted

So this feud more or less went on for about two years. That’s not overkill at all though is it? XXX is Daniels, Skipper and Low-Ki, but here’s it’s minus the third guy. This is elimination, last man standing rules although they use the Texas Deathmatch formula of pin then the count starts here instead. It’s also tag rules which makes even less sense but whatever.

Storm and Skipper begin the match after a huge brawl that I guess actually began the match which makes even less sense. Ok we’re two minutes in and we’re at about our fifth double team move including a Hart Attack and a Death Sentence. Why do the names of moves have to be so freaking violent??? We get a pinfall on Daniels but he’s up at about 8.

To be fair this makes it seem like XXX lost inside of 5 minutes but also it could be said that he let himself get pinned so that he could have the 9 second breather, which at least makes sense. They brawl a good bit but for the most part they’re staying in the ring and keeping this as a normal tag match. There’s a chair being used a fair amount which strikes me as odd.

Speaking of striking a shot to Storm’s knee puts him down for thirteen to make it 2-1. After some miscommunication that sends Skipper to the floor, a guillotine legdrop makes it Skipper vs. Harris. Skipper is messed up bad and he looks like he’s got one heck of a concussion. To my surprise the other two are gone. They need to end this, like now. Skipper looks like Brock did at Mania 19 if that tells you anything.

So what does TNA do when the guy can’t even set up his one big move? They have him take a Catatonic, a big spinning slam onto a chair. You couldn’t improvise a leg injury and have him just not be able to stand? To prove how out of it he is, he tries to get up at 10 but the referee more or less shoves him back down to end this. Thank you. At least the referee had some intelligence and decency about him.

Rating: D+. The injury just completely destroyed the ending here and it hurt the match a lot. The point here though is the complete lack of care for Skipper though as he was clearly injured badly but the match kept going anyway. I get that this is supposed to be a brutal match and so forth, but this was just ridiculous on a lot of levels. It’s ok to change something if a guy is clearly injured. Either way, the match wasn’t that good with no violence or brutality to warrant such a gimmick.

Dusty Rhodes has been elected Director of Authority or something. He makes a speech, I need a drink.

Finally it’s main event time. Hardy beat Monty and Raven on Impact to get this. It’s a ladder match here. Jarrett beat him up a few times. This somehow takes five minutes to say.

NWA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett

It took 9 minutes to get from package to bell. Oh and remember Hall and Nash are both here and allegedly they’re both in Jarrett’s corner. Now in case you don’t know, Jeff Hardy has had ladder matches before. I need to make sure you know this, because the announcers only tell us about 49 times so because they don’t go with the full 50, make sure you know: Jeff Hardy has been in ladder matches before.

West is surprised that Hardy is using the ladder as a weapon. Has he never watched WWF television? Why do the announcers have to keep repeating themselves? There’s really no attempt at getting the ladder and it’s just moves to hurt each other. There’s no flow to this at all and it’s just spot after spot. I know the others have that also, but there’s a clear flow to it and you can easily see the differences between the two.

Hall comes out and hits a Razor’s Edge on Hardy which does nothing at all. The fans for the most part look bored as they have all night. That’s the problem here: all of these spots have not only been done but they’ve been done better by more interesting characters. There’s just no reason to care at all here and it’s painfully showing. And now we have a big ladder. Where have I seen this before?

They set it up on the floor and climb it which is completely pointless as it’s about even with what a regular ladder in the ring would be at. Oh look, Hardy is in control and Nash, with his own entrance music, is coming down. Nothing but good can come of this right? Oh you know it’s coming. They beat up Hardy and Jarrett keeps the title. They call themselves the Kings of Wrestling as they try to do the NWO thing all over again.

AJ comes out to fight them and gets beaten down then Three Live Crew (because I like literacy) comes out and fight to something resembling a stalemate before Macho Man debuts and we go off the air. Yep, the six man was your main event next month and then Savage was gone. What a mess this was.

Rating: D. This was awful. It felt like they said we’re going to have a ladder match then looked around and asked if anyone knew how to do that. It wasn’t interesting at all and it wasn’t any good. None of the spots made you want to see more and nowhere in here did I think Hardy would win. The Outsiders as usual meant nothing. They had one big moment 14 years ago and they’ve ridden it ever since. This felt like an imitation of something better but they knew it was bad.

Overall Rating: D-. I get that this was the first PPV and I’m grading it as such. This was just a failure on almost all levels. Seriously, the two top faces both lose their title matches in favor of Petey Williams, Jeff Jarrett, the Outsiders and a weak NWO parody. 1/6 of the show was one boring match, and the rest was more or less filler.

There wasn’t one moment here where I wanted to see what would happen next. This felt more like a final show than a first show, and that’s just not good, MAYBE hardcore TNA fans will like this, but casual fans will hate it. Avoid for the most part.

Starrcade 1997
Date: December 28, 1997
Location: MCI Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Eric Bischoff, Dusty Rhodes, Mike Tenay

This is a show that I’ve wanted to do for a very long time so instead of just sitting around waiting to get there, I’m doing it because I feel like it. I’ve long since argued and I’ll forever argue that this is the show that ultimately ended WCW. At this point, WWF had nothing on WCW and everyone knew it. Austin was fast on the rise, but no one was watching.

For 18 months WCW had built up to this one show. The NWO had dominated and in particular Hogan had been virtually unbeatable. Tonight was WCW’s night. Tonight was WCW’s chance for revenge as they would win back everything and Sting would make his long awaited return to the ring and win the world title from Hogan. Let’s get to how they managed to blow the biggest lead in wrestling history and allow themselves to be mortally wounded to the point where they could never recover.

Also, this is going to be commentary heavy, so if you’re not a fan of me going on rants and putting a lot of my opinion into things, you might not want to read this one.

Just to give you a bit of backstory and context here, WCW was at its absolute peak. This show drew a 1.9 buyrate, which is completely insane for PPV of any kind. They had come up with a second show called Thunder which would debut in I think eleven days, a year and 8 months before Smackdown became a regular show. Nitro also hadn’t lost in the ratings for a little over a year at this point, so to say WCW was dominating would be an understatement.

The opening video is one of my all time favorites as we see shadows of Hogan’s dominance and then Sting watching down at him the entire time. Sting rises up but you can barely see him as he’s all covered in rain and shadows. They’re in the ruins of some building which I guess could be used as an allegory for WCW being ruined but then again I might be looking too much into this. The arena looks great and Tony’s hype is absolutely right here. He claims over 24,000 people but I can’t find an estimate over 18,000. We immediately hear about the referee being a controversy, which should make everyone realize that this isn’t going to end well.

A bunch of WCW guys are in the audience to see the show. I like that actually. It also does well to show us who isn’t good enough to get on the biggest show of the year, such as Rey, Harlem Heat and Disco Inferno. Dusty goes on a rant about horses or something but gets cut off. Oh and Kevin Nash isn’t here for the 2nd biggest match on the card. No reason was ever given other than he didn’t want to lose so he didn’t show up. He was never punished or anything and the match just isn’t going to happen.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero

Dean is VERY popular here and was just totally awesome at this point having won the fan poll this year as the best wrestler in the world. That’s saying a lot. This is the first event at the arena which is brand new. This should be awesome. This feels like a huge show like it should. Crowd is WHITE hot too. Surprisingly enough Dean starts by just throwing punches and Eddie is in trouble early on. The crowd is all over Eddie and once he gets powerbombed the fans cheer so loudly you can’t hear Dusty.

I can’t get over these fans being this hot. They’re cheering for very basic stuff. That’s a very great sign as we have a standoff between the two guys. Dean dominates and sends Eddie to the outside. Tony: “Eddie being on the outside like this makes me think of the Outsiders and how Kevin Nash isn’t here tonight.” WOW. That’s the kind of commentary I have to deal with here. It was like that for about three years straight.

Mike suggests that working on Malenko’s legs would negate the Cloverleaf. Wouldn’t that be the arms actually? Tony goes back to Nash and Hogan/Sting just to make sure we don’t leave during the PPV I guess. I’ve always hated this. The fans chant USA for two American guys. I guess they like them both. Dean launches Eddie WAY into the air, prompting Dusty to stop talking about the Hogan/Sting referee for a full half second. Eddie kisses Dean’s foot to prevent being beaten so he gets a dropkick for his efforts.

Dean wins a test of strength and gets Eddie’s hands all the way to the mat and then stomps on him. Then he kicks Eddie in the face. I love that move. When all else fails, KICK THEM IN THE FREAKING FACE! Eddie gets it to the floor and works on Dean’s knee with the post and the steps. He gets a nice powerbomb as we continue to ignore the action in the ring which is a good match so far.

Both guys go for top rope moves at the same time in a weird spot but neither gets it. Dean has a sweet powerbomb. Cloverleak is blocked because of the bad knee. A missile dropkick to the knee sets up the Frog Splash onto the knee for the pin to retain. Sweet blessed psychology there but uh, yeah the crowd being white hot for Malenko should have been a hint for that. Great match though.

Rating: A-. GREAT match here as there was psychology throughout and both guys worked very hard out there. Dean was nothing short of divine in 97 and this was a great way to cap off the year, even though e didn’t get the title. These two never were able to have a bad match and this was one of their better ones ever. I loved this and would love to see more of them fighting.

Oddly enough I can’t find a review of this that’s anywhere above average. Really? I loved it.

And here’s Scott Hall. He has a tag title belt on him but the Steiners are the champions at this point I believe. Ah yes they were. Hall says that they’re taking a survey and the crowd is NWO so of course Tony says it was WCW. Hall says that Nash isn’t here tonight and that we need a referee so that Giant can be declared the winner.

Giant of course comes up behind him and (wearing a ponytail of all things) says Nash can’t run forever and he’ll get his chance eventually. That’s true as he would get his match the next month and Nash would botch a jackknife on him and mess up his neck for awhile. Hall punches him a bit and then gets his head kicked in for his trouble. Giant Jackknifes him and leaves. Yeah this wasn’t a match for some reason. No reason was ever given for it but whatever.

So the real story is that Giant was supposed to go over Nash and Nash kept saying there was no way he’d do it. On the day of the show he called up and said he was having a heart attack. Everyone laughed when they heard the news. What does that tell you about this? Naturally he was fine the next night and was never punished. Things like that are what hurt WCW later as there was no discipline at all and no one cared.

Vincent/Scott Norton/Konnan Vs. Steiner Brothers/Ray Traylor

There’s no Konnan for some reason. The Steiners are the tag champions and managed by DiBiase. Traylor was the first guy the NWO had jumped so he later joined them. They threw him out and he had been trying to get revenge since. Scott would join the NWO in like two months anyway so this didn’t mean much. The replacement is Randy Savage, making the ending of this pretty obvious.

His entrance takes forever as he gets in an argument with the WCW guys who are taking up front row seats all over the ringside area. Randy vs. Scott Steiner start us off which would be a dream match three years later. And hey we stall some more. Savage lays on the rope as we’ve had a tie up over the course of the first two minutes here. Oh look it’s Vincent on the biggest show of the year.

Norton hits a Samoan Drop on the other Scott as Steiner is getting dominated here. The faces send them running and the NWO is in trouble. Rick vs. Norton gives us something interesting as the power of Norton is pretty awesome. And now we have Vincent vs. Big Boss Man on the biggest show of 1997. Why am I watching this again? Scott comes in and I get to see the spinning belly to belly that I use on No Mercy and Wrestlemania 2000. The crowd is virtually dead here by the way.

We hear about how great Vincent is as I shake my head at how much they push these jobbers at times. There is no heat for this match at all, meaning of course they give it even more time than they should have. Rick comes in off the should be hot tag to clean some trailer. Vincent takes their top rope DDT to end….nothing. Oh I don’t like where this is going.

Frankensteiner continues his slaughtering but Savage makes the save. Scott destroys the NWO as his singles push continues. Norton grabs him and hits an electric chair so Savage can hit the elbow to an ERUPTION to give the NWO the lead so far. So yeah the tag champions jobbed to Vincent and Scott Norton. That’s ok though as it was a six man so him getting pinned clean means nothing right?

Rating: D. Oh this was boring. Vincent and Scott Norton got the majority of the heel ring time and it was all downhill from there. This was an awful match and nothing ever came from it at all. The Steiners jobbing is DUMB as it’s not like the heels gain anything from winning. So in other words we’re over fifty minutes into this show and the high point for the faces is a chokeslam on a replacement in a non-match.

James J. Dillon, the commissioner or whatever comes out and announces Nick Patrick as the referee. And there ends WCW’s run on top, but we’ll get to that later on. Gene says String returns tonight as we’re in arts and crafts class now I suppose.

Bill Goldberg vs. Steve McMichael

Goldberg is a heel here and means nothing at all. He has the music and the finishers but other than that he’s got nothing. Anyone he beats at this point is pretty much a surprise here, but in less than seven months a lot would change as he would beat Hogan for the title. This feud is over a Super Bowl Ring I think. They go at it in the aisle and the fans love it. Ok just stretch with me on this one.

In a slightly funny moment Goldberg just lifts him up and carries him to the ring. Hey we have a bell! There’s a table set up at ringside. Sweet goodness Mongo was terrible. We hear the football careers and Dusty of course insists Mongo is better and that the SEC isn’t real football. Oh that’s amusing. Goldberg gets a leg lock and sweet goodness Mongo is awful at selling at this point.

Some fans seem to get into a fight at ringside which is the more interesting thing here. Spear hits but means nothing at this point. Goldberg sets a table at ringside which goes nowhere so far. The more famous of these two busts out a decent dropkick and Mongo is in trouble again. He goes through the table in something completely boring and uneventful.

There’s that ECW chant again. Tombstone doesn’t work because of his back hurting and the Jackhammer ends it. Hey we’re only an hour in so far without a face winning. That doesn’t mean anything as the main events are all that matter right? It’s still amazing to think what Goldberg would become in just a few months.

Rating: D. Another boring match here as Mongo was just AWFUL. He never did get any good and rightfully became the jobber that he should have been. His career was about over at this point and no one cared. He was put into the college football hall of fame recently so to get as far as he did is saying something I guess, although I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Raven is here for his match vs. Benoit.

Chris Benoit vs. Raven

Raven has been ducking Benoit forever and this is where they finally have their showdown. Raven says he’s not wrestling tonight so Saturn is taking his place. That’s false advertisement number two.

Perry Saturn vs. Chris Benoit

And the Radicalz explode AGAIN! Saturn is just a tough guy here and more or less completely insane. I love that simple vest Benoit wore. That was always awesome. Benoit gets a mic and…..yeah he should go with the silent but violent thing. This is under Raven’s Rules so more or less anything goes here. Saturn has some hair here and to say it looks weird is an understatement.

The Flock comes over the railing and that goes nowhere at all. Even Sick Boy (how awesome of a name is that) is here. Kidman throws in a Shooting Star to put Benoit in trouble. Saturn mostly hits a nice moonsault and it’s all the less famous one. The genius fans chant USA. Maybe they just like Saturn better? The fans look up at something else which has to be a record for the most times in such a little span of time.

Dang Raven looks like garbage. I think that’s just how he always looks. We hit the floor and Benoit gets a Crossface out of nowhere but the Flock jumps him. It’s Raven’s Rules though so this is all fine and dandy. HUGE diving headbutt hits and the Flock runs in again. Raven comes in but more interference causes Benoit to take a DDT. Rings of Saturn and it’s over. Benoit vs. Raven would be at Souled Out and would be a solid brawl.

Rating: C-. Kind of slow but the violence helped it a lot here. This was more to set up Benoit vs. Raven….which should have happened here at the BIGGEST SHOW OF THE YEAR but whatever. This was something that happened more than once I thought so of course we just do it again at the equivalent of Mania. This was a decent enough match though.

Buff Bagwell vs. Lex Luger

This is more or less a grudge match and remember that Luger was WORLD CHAMPION four months ago. Bagwell has beaten him three times in a row apparently. So you remember that white hot crowd that you could have fried an egg on to start the show? It’s long gone and has been placed by this….whatever. Tony reminds us that Luger was world champion earlier this year.

Bagwell’s facial hair looks like it’s painted on. Bret Hart gets his SECOND reference of the night so far as he’s the former WWF Champion (Montreal was maybe 6 weeks before this) and he’s a referee tonight. Yeah….no room on the card for him when we have VINCENT BABY! We begin making Montreal allusions which should be a telling sign.

Luger beats him up for awhile and puts him on the floor. Bagwell gets Vincent to come back down as we get our second appearance by this guy which is about two too many. He gets rammed into the post and doesn’t come within a foot of it. Wow that looked awful. We talk about Sting vs. Hogan for the 983rd time so far just to mix things up a bit. More interference causes Bagwell to take over again.

By the way we are now an hour and a half into this show and no face has won all night and the NWO is undefeated so far. We hit the chinlock just to waste some time. When I say some time that apparently means about three straight minutes. Make that five minutes. My goodness I know these guys aren’t the best in the world but this is ridiculous.

Luger makes his standard comeback and calls for the Rack. Instead of course he hits an atomic drop. Vincent comes in again but Luger beats the heck out of him. Bagwell rams Luger into the referee and say it with me: there’s no referee for the Rack. Savage runs in and gets racked too. Now Norton runs out and hits Luger with a chain and Bagwell gets the pin.

There’s an hour to go in this tape and the NWO is undefeated and the faces haven’t won a single match. There would be a rematch the next night where Luger would freaking massacre him. That of course couldn’t happen here though. Finally, THIS is the longest match of the show at just under 17 minutes. Liz comes down to check on Savage.

Rating: F+. Buff Bagwell vs. Lex Luger went 17 minutes. Add in the idiotic booking and too much Vincent and of course this is awful on a stick. Just a boring match too with a 5 minute chinlock. This was supposed to be Buff’s big match to make him a big deal, but taking three guys and getting crushed the next night kind of makes that pointless so whatever.

US Title: Curt Hennig vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Hennig turned NWO at Fall Brawl after slamming Flair’s head in a cage door. Everyone has wanted to kill him since. He had been DDP’s mystery partner at a PPV and had kind of turned on him there too. Page stole the belt last night but had to give it back off camera, making that entirely pointless too. Page is ridiculously popular here and possibly the second biggest face in the company. He’s also a lot better in the ring now too after a ton of practice and a great series with Savage earlier in the year.

Page gets a rollup like 4 seconds in for two. Page dominates early as Hennig runs. We’re told DDP has never held a major title, meaning the TV Title means nothing and must be a minor title. I’ve always wanted one of those. Page likes headlocks a lot. Dusty suggests starting the Sting World Order. Oh my head hurts. Dusty: “I haven’t seen any titles change hands on the outside. Except where falls count anywhere.”

The fans chant USA, likely because their boredom has brought them to that point. We hit a chinlock and the fans decide this is boring. I can’t say I disagree here at all either. Page hits a plancha after a lot of punches. We’re going into the crowd which actually cares a bit here after nearly 2 hours. Diamond Cutter is blocked and the fans are cheering for it like Orton gets cheered for the RKO.

We do a bunch of near falls for no apparent reason which gets us nowhere. And out of nowhere the Diamond Cutter ends this. With 45 minutes left in the show, WCW wins its first match and the faces win their first match. The fans pop loudly for it, but the ending came a bit flat.

Rating: D+. Not great but again this could have been SO much better. For one thing, the match should have been Flair and not DDP. There were a lot of dead spots here and those are what really bring this one down. DDP would hold the title for about four months so at least he got a solid reign out of it. I still can’t get over how long it’s taken to get a win for the fans here.

Bret Hart is here. There’s no pyro, no special entrance, no special announcement, no anything like that. He just showed up and is the referee for the next match. I can’t imagine a lot of people will ever get what they were thinking with Bret.

Eric Bischoff vs. Larry Zbyszko

If Eric wins, the NWO gets Nitro and if Larry wins he gets Hall at Souled Out. Eric booked himself into the second main event at the biggest show of the year. There was an NWO Nitro on Monday where the show just went down the drain as it took about 20 minutes to set up the NWO stage. The ratings switched incredibly fast and it was great.

Larry gets a nice pop and comes out to the Nitro theme. This match was reaired for free on the debut Thunder so I’ve done it before but in a different context. Ok so the show has been horrible so far other than the opener but we have 40 minutes left and the two matches that mean anything to go. For the final rating I’m going to put next to zero stock in the first match as the final match is probably about 99% of this show’s importance and value.

Bret even checks them both for hidden objects. Fans are ENTIRELY behind Larry here. Larry looks in decent shape and had just turned 44 earlier in the month. They even call this mixed martial arts. Oh give me a break. Bischoff, a karate guy, keeps trying to land kicks and Larry keeps trying to grab him so at least they’re playing to their own strengths.

I can’t believe Bret Hart is refereeing this 6 weeks after being WWF Champion. Eric gets a kick and down goes Larry for a second or so. Larry just goes off on him and takes him down so Bret pulls him off. Bret breaks up another one as we enter Bill Alfonso in 95 territory. Bret is following the rules to perfection but the fact that he’s doing so is making people think something is up. It’s amazing how basic stuff like that can be. It made Fonzie the most hated man in ECW history. What does that tell you?

Tony declares Bret NWO and uses the word tweener. Eric gets a kick in and Larry is in trouble. Bischoff just unloads on Larry with everything he’s got and Larry covers up. It’s Rope-A-Dope time as Eric is just spent and Larry just stands up. As my dear old Aunt Petunia used to say, IT’S CLOBBERIN TIME! He hooks Eric up in the Tree of Woe, and then things just completely fall apart.

Bret pulls Larry back and is LOOKING AT ERIC in the corner. Hall loads up Eric’s boot with a piece of metal. Bischoff throws a kick at Larry and the metal flies out in mid kick. The kick hits Larry barely on the arm and Bret looks at the metal object as it flies out of the shoe. Larry of course sells like he’s been shot and just lays there while Bischoff celebrates. Eric turns to Bret to celebrate and gets popped in the jaw for his troubles, securing Bret as being WCW and getting the fans to cheer for the first time in a good while.

Hall gets beaten up and down by taking a Sharpshooter. Seriously, WHY IS BRET NOT WRESTLING HERE? You couldn’t throw him out there in a squash match at least? Larry chokes out Bischoff with a belt or something and Bret raises his hand as the winner, I guess by DQ for the foot thing? Tony and Tenay talk about how they can have Nitro because WCW wins this match. Yeah that’s why they spent over two hours talking about how important this match was.

Rating: F. The best move of this was a terrible vertical suplex. Larry did what he could, but there’s a reason why Bischoff shouldn’t have been in this: HE ISN’T A WRESTLER. This is fine for something like Nitro, but think about this for a minute. This is Starrcade and it’s the next to last match. At Mania 17 this would have been Taker vs. HHH. At the 89 Bash this was a War Games match. And this is a guy that’s been retired about 4 years vs. an announcer. Like I said, Larry tried but there was too much to overcome here. Just a freaking joke.

And here we are. To put it mildly, this show has been horrible so far. Nothing has made sense and the fans are rightfully ticked off about things. There has been one good match and one match with logical booking (US Title). However, literally none of that matters at this point as this upcoming match is at least 95% of the value of this show. Think Mania 6 and the main event. Nothing else on the card mattered and nothing else here does either. This show is about Sting vs. Hogan and nothing more.

Given that this is the biggest match in WCW history, some backstory might help a bit. Granted WCW doesn’t think you need it but since the entire planet was watching this show in their eyes I guess that makes sense. Back in the fall of 1996, the NWO was running rampant. Sting was on a tour of Japan and therefore wasn’t at Nitro that night. Luger fought I think Hall to the parking lot where “Sting”, a guy in a Sting costume, popped out and beat him up.

That following Sunday was Fall Brawl and WCW vs. NWO in War Games. None of his teammates believed it wasn’t him, despite him being about 4 inches shorter than the real Sting. This was more or less a running joke in WCW as there were all kinds of people impersonating Sting including Hogan and Nash and only the announcers would buy into it as the fans could tell by, you know, LOOKING AT HIM.

Anyway, the Fake Sting came in and then the real Sting came in and beat up the NWO on his own. He looked at his best friend, Lex Luger, and asked if that was good enough and walked away. He then cut a promo the next night with his back to the camera, saying he wasn’t sure what he was doing anymore and that he would be popping up every now and then.

The next week the crow Sting debuted and he would begin hiding in the rafters. He would beat up random people as WCW would swear up and down that he was in the NWO. He also started carrying the ball bat and he would hand it to random guys and turn away from them. It was some kind of test for trust or something like that. Anyway, we hit Uncensored 97 and there’s no answer as to which side he’s on.

After the NWO wins the main event, Sting repels from the ceiling and beats the tar out of them, which of course makes the WCW announcers sure that he’s WCW now. Over the next 9 months or so he stalked Hogan while Dillon kept trying to get him signed to a contract, which you would assume he was already under but whatever. He turned down matches with Hennig and X-Pac before being given an ultimatum of pick an opponent or leave.

He gets in the ring and the fans chant for Hogan. Sting points at the crowd and of course Dillon doesn’t get it. The following Thursday at Clash of the Champions, the lights go out and Sting is in the rafters with a crow. The voice of a child comes over the PA system and says stuff about how the battle is just beginning and Sting is the light in the darkness. This somehow gets Dillon’s attention and he makes the match.

Keep in mind that this whole time Hogan has been running scared, screaming at the sight of Sting and never landing a single shot on him. On the last Nitro before this they got to him and beat him up but it didn’t really do anything. So the point of this is that Hogan, surrounded by goons including guys the caliber of Hall and Nash has been scared to death of Sting for about 9 months minimum.

One more thing and then I promise we’ll get to this mess. This was supposed to be about revenge. Other than a 6 day reign by Luger in August which I guess was a marketing ploy to get more buys for Road Wild, Hogan has held the title non-stop since August of 96. The NWO and especially Hogan has dominated the whole time and it hasn’t been close at all. Tonight is about revenge. It’s time for WCW to rise up and take back what is theirs. This is the night where WCW gets their big win over the NWO and makes them realize their days are numbered. In short, this is supposed to be the beginning of the end for the NWO with Sting leading the WCW charge. This should have been screwupable. Let’s see how they managed to screw it up.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sting

This is the one match we’ve never gotten: the biggest WCW star vs. the biggest WWF star. Here’s how this SHOULD have gone:

Hogan won’t come out. He locks himself in his dressing room or whatever and just won’t fight. WCW guys kick the door in and literally drag him kicking and screaming to the ring. He tries to run and the Giant and Luger carry him back to the ring and they stand guard of him until Sting gets there. The bell rings, Hogan MIGHT get a punch or two in and Sting just beats the heck out of him for about 3 minutes, Stinger Splash, Scorpion Death Lock, new champion, we’re out in 5 minutes. THAT’S IT.

Seriously, after 9 months of running and hiding, Hogan should have been scared to death of Sting right? He was scared with no help and he should be scared with help. Add in the fact that Hogan has been a cowardly heel for about 99% of his run and this should have been a walk in the park for WCW. And that’s how you know it’s going to be screwed up: it’s WCW.

Hogan’s music hits, Michael Buffer does the intro, and the whole thing is instantly ruined. After 9 months of running and hiding and screaming at the sight of Sting, Hogan is strutting down the aisle. He’s singing the words to his theme song and playing the belt like a guitar. He might as well be fighting the Brooklyn Brawler tonight on a house show in front of 900 people in East Orange, New Jersey.

And now, the entrance of Sting. He’s come through the crowd, he’s repelled from the rafters, and he had a helicopter drop him from the sky. What more could he do this time? Buffer simply says “Ladies and Gentlemen, the challenger.” The same speech from the Clash plays….and Hogan is walking around the ring with his arms in the air so as to make sure the attention never leaves him for one second.

Yeah this is already damaged but there’s still the match itself right? Thunder and lightning hit, the music is loud, the crowd is on fire, and Sting walks through the entrance like anyone else would. They do the effect where Hogan is kind of superimposed over Sting. This would be a much more effective shot if Hogan was scared or something like he was supposed to be but he’s saying bring it on. Sure why not.

We get the staredown which is indeed cool. AND IT’S ON! Hogan immediately shoves him and throws the bandana in his face. I immediately don’t like where this is going as he’s showing more life than he did vs. Andre. The fans pop like cherries for a slap from Sting. Hogan stalls to make sure the crowd remembers who put them in their seats is. This is already bad and we’re 40 seconds in.

Hogan shoves him back into the corner but Sting hits a punch. The place ERUPTS. Remember that Sting is known for his jumping all over the place and speed and power etc. So far he’s slapped and punched. Hogan punches him and Sting goes flying. ALL Hogan here as Sting looks pathetic. Hogan dedicates a punch to his son and isn’t even sweating yet. Crowd has been mostly killed by this point, about three minutes in.

Sting hits an ok dropkick and Hogan goes to the floor. Yeah that’s his big offense so far. He doesn’t go after Hogan or anything. He just stares at him even more. Hogan hooks a headlock and then puts Sting down with a shoulder block. Tony says he ran through Sting and he’s absolutely right. More dropkicks and down goes Hogan again. And as soon as Sting goes on offense again, Hogan hits the floor and stalls even more to kill the crowd every time Sting gets something going.

Now Sting uses a headlock. HE’S SO ENRAGED! Hogan has dominated almost the whole match other than those dropkicks and Sting is down again. So far this has been like a seven minute intro match with nothing at all of note. Hogan has dominated for the most part and the biggest move and most impactful move by far have been dropkicks. Other than that there just isn’t anything but punches and headlocks.

We REALLY crank things up with a suplex which is no sold. Sting comes back with a crotch chop of pain and his offense lasts a total of 9 seconds since Hogan takes over again. Sting is looking like a total jobber here, getting nothing in longer than maybe 20 seconds. He’s controlled less than half a minute and we’re about 9 minutes into this. Hogan punches the heck out of him as the crowd is virtually dead.

Stinger Splash of course misses on the floor. That could have gotten the fans to cheer so we couldn’t have that of course right? With Sting more or less out on his feet, there’s the big boot and legdrop. As he’s in the air, Bret Hart walks by the front of the ring. Keep that in mind. Patrick does a semi-fast count for the clean pin. Hart keeps the bell from ringing and shouts at Patrick and half into the microphone that he won’t let it happen again. He hits Patrick, throws Hogan back into the ring, the NWO runs in and gets beaten up, Splash and Scorpion ends the match and Sting wins the title. The WCW guys run in for the massive celebration and we end the show.

Now the fun part: explaining why this was freaking horrendous.

For those of you that haven’t heard the history, here was the new plan that for some reason that I’m not sure God himself understands. Nick Patrick, the referee, had been very biased towards the NWO in the recent months. He was supposed to make a fast count, leading to Bret Hart running down and saying he wouldn’t let this become Montreal all over again (not in those words but that was the idea). Two things caused this mess of a plan to fall apart: Patrick counts a relatively normal count, and Hart is there before the bell rings. With Patrick counting normal speed, it looks like Sting just got pinned in a normal match.

Another problem with the whole fast count thing: Sting stayed down. You can see him getting up about 20 seconds later when Bret is arguing with Patrick. If this was supposed to be a fast count then Sting should have popped up a split second after the three correct? Instead he popped up almost half a minute later and looked like he could barely get up if his life depended on it. If this was supposed to be a fast count, why did no one tell Sting that was the finish? Could it be that he knew it would bomb?

The announcers don’t bring up Patrick’s heel tactics, and they touch on it being a fast count. They don’t have time because instead of Hart running down to the ring like he was supposed to, he was already there, so he stops the bell from ringing about two seconds after the pin. He says it won’t happen again, which makes no sense to non-WWF fans, or to wrestling fans in general. Since he was a referee earlier in the night, he is apparently has refereeing powers all night, so he jumps in as referee. Sting hits the splash, the scorpion, and he gets the title to end the show. Two weeks later, the title is held up vacant, and Sting FINALLY pins Hogan mostly clean in LATE FEBRUARY (this was three days after Christmas) at Superbrawl.

The whole thing just made no sense and everyone saw that it was nothing but a way to get the buyrate for Superbrawl up. Hogan and the NWO should have died then and there. Hogan should have disappeared until about June before coming back in the red and yellow, begging for the fans’ forgiveness while Sting slowly accepts the fans again and becomes the surfer or at least a normal looking wrestler. Instead, it’s the same things over and over again. All the fans, myself included, had their intelligence insulted. I and many other fans I knew at the time started watching Raw and loved what we were seeing, because it wasn’t WCW. I never left.

Sting would wind up holding the title for about two months until Savage beat him for it at Spring Stampede, only to lose it back to Hogan the next night. Goldberg beat him for it three months later. To say the fans didn’t react well is an understatement. The next night on Nitro the ratings were GREAT. The lead for Nitro stayed intact until the fans started getting what was going on.

Once the fans were told the title would be held up, they started to watch Raw more often. You couple this with the introduction of Mike Tyson and Steve Austin getting the world title and the lead was gone. About a week after Mania, Raw won for the first time in nearly two years. While the content on Raw was a major factor in this, there was no reason for WCW fans to watch Raw until they got screwed over here.

Sting had been this hero for WCW and would end the NWO once and for all. That was supposed to happen, much like Austin winning the title at Mania. Sting was supposed to destroy Hogan but that just didn’t happen for some reason. That reason would be Hogan didn’t want to lose clean like that and when he got the title back just a few months later, everything fell apart. WCW proved they had learned nothing a little over a year later in the Fingerpoke of Doom. The fans wanted something new and WCW decided that wasn’t going to happen. The rest is history.

Rating: F. For managing to screw up something that should be as unscrewable as a nun.

Overall Rating: F. This was just a pure failure all around. There was a very simple idea here: WCW and the fans win. That’s it. That’s what this show is supposed to be and they managed to mess it up. There are 8 matches on this card. A face won three of them. One had a clean ending, one was never announced to be a DQ as Larry was just declared the winner while the biggest acquisition in wrestling was the referee and the last one was the debacle of Hogan/Sting where Hogan just had to dominate the whole thing and make Sting look like a jobber that stole a win because he got destroyed by Hogan clean as a sheet. This was just a disaster all around and still the thing that caused them to begin to die.

NXT
Date: February 1, 2011
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Josh Matthews

Another week but no elimination this time.  It’s good that we’re down to the final four as the show went way up in quality last time.  Also putting Clay with Alberto is a nice idea as that’s a very lethal combination especially with Alberto having momentum at the moment.  This is a day late but that’s fine I suppose.  Let’s get to it.

Striker is in the ring as is traditional on this show.  There will be an elimination next week.  Here are the Rookies and the Pros.  For some reason Brodus comes out with Ricardo instead.  When asked, Ricardo says that Alberto is too busy so he’s filling in tonight.  I hope that’s not traditional now.  Oh and Ricardo speaks English.

The first challenge tonight is Arm Wrestling.  Yeah is there any point to this at all?  First up is Curtis vs. Saxton.  They go left handed and Curtis wins in about 2 seconds.  Clay vs. Bateman now in what should be one sided.  Bateman screams at Bryan to slap him so Bryan smacks the heck out of him a few times.

This lasts a bit and then Brodus turns on the jets and destroys him.  This is for three immunity points by the way.  Johnny almost gets him but then Brodus headbutts him to give Curtis the win.  Dang it they’re really pushing Curtis aren’t they?  He’s painfully boring but they’ve decided that they want him to win.  I hate that.  He’s painfully boring but they’ve decided that they want him to win.  I hate that.

Byron Saxton vs. Chris Masters

This is the first match and had no intro to it at all.  They went to a break after saying it was later tonight and there’s the bell.  By the way I’m watching this on Youtube so the breaks are edited out so I’ll be adding 90 seconds to the time as the NXT commercials are noticeable shorter.

Masters starts out with power but gets kicked in the face to slow him down.  Nice let’s go Masters chant.  He’s improved dramatically over the last few months.  Saxton starts getting destroyed by the power again and there’s the Masterlock to end it in 3:12.  Ziggler was about to throw in the towel once Saxton was in trouble.  There’s another Mr. Perfect trait for Ziggler: a towel.

Rating: D. This was one of those matches where they were doing stuff but nothing happened at all.  It wasn’t a squash but more or less just an extended workout for Masters.  I like Saxton but he comes off like this season’s Otunga.  He has charisma and is entertaining but can’t back it up so well in the ring.  He’s better at it than Otunga, but not by much.

We see a clip from earlier with Bryan trying to teach Bateman the guillotine hold.  Bateman can’t quite get it and says he isn’t strong enough.  Bryan says that isn’t what submissions are about.  This is a fine example of why Bateman is talented: this is actually rather funny but the lines they’re saying are boring.  That’s the sign of a talented entertainer.

Gail comes up and Daniel says she’s good at the guillotine.  Bateman says that women know nothing about submission wrestling.  He’s unconscious 4 seconds later and Gail and Bryan are making out.  Again, much more entertaining than it had any right to be which is a good sign.

Brodus Clay vs. Ted DiBiase

Still no entrances tonight.  Before this starts we get a quick recap of last week where Brodus switched pros to explain why Ricardo is there.  See, that’s something WWE is very good at.  They’re incredibly user friendly.  If this is your first show in awhile or your first show ever, you’re immediately told why Brodus has that guy at ringside, that Brodus dominated the other rookies and why he has a match with DiBiase tonight.  That took about 90 seconds.  That’s what you get from WWE all the time and it’s a great touch.

DiBiase gets an entrance and Maryse comes out after he does in almost her own entrance.  DiBiase charges at him and gets shoved into the corner twice.  He charges again and manages to get a chinlock.  The main thing here is that Maryse is hitting on the announcers and actually gives Todd her number.  That’s rather awesome actually.  As that’s going on, the guys hit the floor and it’s all Ted who hits a seated dropkick while Brodus is up against the railing.

Josh wants to call the number because he thinks it’s a pizza place.  While this is happening, Brodus sends him into the post and we head back into the ring.  Nice head and arms suplex as Brodus is taking over quickly.  Off to the nerve hold as the crowd is into this actually.  Maryse is taking pictures with her phone.  Brodus misses a splash and Ted looks like he wants Dream Street.  Maryse kisses Todd and then slaps him.  The distraction is enough for Brodus to hit a powerslam to end DiBiase at 4:28.

Rating: C+. This was rather entertaining actually.  Maryse added a nice level of comedy to this and it raised the match up.  That and you add in Brodus being fun to watch and you got an entertaining match.  Brodus is the kind of guy that you see and you want to look at due to how different he looks.  That’s a very valuable asset to have and sets him apart from the rest of the group.  Bateman is entertaining but you wouldn’t stop to watched unless he was doing something.  Brodus is someone you stop to see because he looks unique.

In the back Curtis is holding ice on his head after the headbutt.  Saxton comes up and says he’s worried about Johnny.  Apparently R-Truth says Johnny is getting too big a head and his ego is out of control.  Johnny says they’re not friends and that Saxton is the creepiest man he’s ever met in his life.  The deadpan delivery there is great.

Time for another challenge.  At the moment Curtis has three immunity points and everyone else has zero.  This is the Talk the Talk Challenge and it’s worth 2 points.  Then why are we having this?  Oh I guess it might shift the voters’ opinions.  Kind of a stretch but ok.  Everyone has 30 seconds to talk about a given topic.  The first topic is WWE Pros and Saxton gets R-Truth.  Saxton does a parody of Truth’s rap and is booed out of the building.

The category is still WWE Pros and Bateman gets Ziggler.  He says he has the face of a worn out catcher’s mask and his name used to be Turd Ferguson.  I love SNL references.  Curtis gets Chris Masters.  Since he can’t top Saxton he drills Brodus and runs away.  Ok then.  Another Turd chant starts up.  Ziggler says if they don’t stop he’ll leave, drawing the pop of the night.

Brodus gets Daniel Bryan and says he’s incredibly boring.  He does have a pretty girl though and that she probably sits in bed at night, wondering what it’s like to be with a real man.  He’s quoting a scene from Rocky III here where Clubber Lang says the same thing to Rocky.  Bryan says he’s fat.  Bateman wins which he should have.  This was more or less a waste of time.

The trailer for the Chaperone is aired again.  It still looks bad.  There are three minutes I’ll never get back from my life.

Raw ReBound eats up about 4 minutes.

R-Truth/Johnny Curtis vs. Daniel Bryan/Derrick Bateman

This is the main event.  Bateman vs. Truth to start us off.  Truth takes over and it’s off to Curtis for some rookie on rookie action.  Ziggler says ECW a few times for no apparent reason.  They tumble out to the floor and slug it out.  This turns into a brawl until the Pros break it up and we take a break.

Back with Curtis vs. Bryan and the Pro is in control.  Apparently this is the 50^th episode of NXT.  Josh thinks Saxton is gone next week.  Off to the rookies again with Bateman in control.  Bryan comes in again as there’s much better continuity between Bateman and Bryan.  Bryan tries a surfboard but can’t get Curtis back.  Instead with his legs intertwined with Curtis’ he jumps into the air for a stomp.  That was cool looking.

Body scissors by the US Champion as Curtis is in trouble.  Off to Bateman again but Curtis gets a bad looking spin kick to take Bateman down.  Off to both Pros with Truth beating Bryan up a bit.  Curtis comes back in for a double suplex with his pro.  Bateman and Truth go to the floor and Curtis misses the leg drop.  LeBell Lock ends it seconds later at 6:33 shown of 8:03 (90 seconds assumed for commercials on NXT) and we’re off the air.  Or web I suppose.

Rating: C. Not bad here with some nice teamwork from Bateman/Bryan.  Curtis is ok at his very best but he’s about as generic as anyone I’ve ever seen.  Bateman is funny on promos and passable in the ring but also no one great.  This was probably the best choice for a main event and it wasn’t too bad.  Bateman looked pretty good at least.

Overall Rating: C+. This was pretty good I thought.  They packed it with stuff and the 45 minutes flew by.  You had three matches and two challenges with only the Talk the Talk one being somewhat bad.  The rest of it was either ok or short enough to not be bad.  Brodus continues to look like a huge fish in a small pond which means Curtis will likely wind up winning the whole thing.  Either way, good show this week as the final four continue to make this show watchable.

Results

Johnny Curtis won an Arm Wrestling Challenge

Chris Masters b. Byron Saxton – Masterlock

Brodus Clay b. Ted DiBiase – Powerslam

Derrick Bateman won the Talk the Talk Challenge

Daniel Bryan/Derrick Bateman b. Johnny Curtis/R-Truth – LeBell Lock to Curtis