Ring of Honor
Date: December 29, 2021
Location: UMBC Event Center, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Caprice Coleman

We have finally arrived at what seems to be the last original content episode of the show. That causes some mixed feelings, as it is sad to see the show go but it also finally puts it out of its misery. That should not be the case with any wrestling show, but it has been around here for a long time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Dalton Castle promises a Christmas surprise.

Quinn McKay gives us the opening welcome and rundown.

Josh Woods gets to draw his names for the Christmas Surprise twelve man tag team main event and seems rather pleased.

Brian Johnson draws his names and is less impressed, as is his custom.

Women’s Title: Holidead vs.Rok-C

Holidead is challenging and says it is time for the dark reign to begin. Rok-C is ready for whatever Holidead brings at her because Holidead doesn’t have heart or the title. She still isn’t great at this talking thing. Rok-C rolls away from her to start before grabbing a headlock. Holidead is back with a headlock takeover of her own, which is reversed in a hurry as well.

Rok-C’s headlock takeover puts Holidead down for a change before Rok-C starts striking away to send Holidead outside. The suicide dive is pulled out of the air though and Holidead posts her to send us to a break. Back with Holidead putting her in a fireman’s carry for some head first rams into the buckles.

Rok-C comes back with a Thesz press and right hands, followed by the Rok Knees for two. A swinging Downward Spiral gives Holidead the same but Rok-C is back with a Backstabber. The running knee to the face gets two on Holidead, who cuts her off with a spinebuster for a near fall of her own. Back up and Rok-C grabs a quick Code Rok to retain at 13:30.

Rating: C. Assuming this is the last time we see a match like this on Ring of Honor TV, it’s a perfectly fine way to wrap up the women’s division: a technically sound yet lifeless match as two women did moves to each other until one of them won. The women’s division never caught on and always felt like the most serious part of the show. It wasn’t awful, but it also wasn’t interesting and that made it a chore to watch at times.

Dalton Castle still has a surprise for us.

Post break, Castle seems to start a song and dance number with the Baby Chickens but one of them breaks something, sending Dak Draper into a rage.

Team Johnson vs. Team Woods

Brian Johnson, Rhett Titus, Kenny King, Rey Horus, Homicide, Flip Gordon
Josh Woods, Silas Young, Matt Taven, Bandido, Jay Briscoe, Mark Briscoe

Everyone gets their own entrance, complete with rather personalized Christmas wish lists for their graphics, such as:

Never to see Danhausen again – Johnson
Shane Taylor’s head on a platter – King
Timbaland Boots so I could kick my opponents’ heads off – Homicide
Get my memory back – Gordon
The internet to like me – Taven
Jet pack – Mark Briscoe
Lug wrench – Jay Briscoe

Johnson gets his big BAH HUMBUG entrance because he can’t stand any of his partners. Homicide drives Jay into the corner to start as we get some Ring of Honor history lessons from commentary. The lockup takes them over to the ropes so Woods can tag himself in. The rear naked choke has Homicide in trouble so he bites his way to freedom. They slug it out until Homicide yells at him and bails into the corner. Titus comes in and takes it to the mat with Woods, which doesn’t seem to be the best move. Woods counters a short armscissors in a hurry and we take a break.

Back with Taven dropkicking Gordon but getting taken down by a headscissors. Bandido comes in to face Gordon, with the latter walking on his hands. That’s fine with Bandido, who has an open shot for a superkick. Horus comes in and everyone drops off the apron because they know this is going to be good. They run the ropes but neither can go anywhere, with guest commentator Quinn McKay complimenting their hair. King and Mark come in with the latter taking him down by the leg.

Back up and some Red Neck Kung Fu staggers King, who hands it off to Titus instead. We get a Briscoes vs. King/Titus (the former All Night Express) showdown for another old times sake faceoff as everything breaks down. We take another break and come back with Horus forearming Castle and avoiding a charge into the corner. Horus hits a big dive onto Young as Gordon is watching from the commentary desk. Thankfully he comes back to his senses and dives onto a bunch of people in the aisle.

Back in and Homicide escapes Taven’s Climax but gets kneed in the face for two. Gordon Kinder Surprises Taven off the top, leaving Bandido to hit the X Knee on Horus. Back up and Horus hits a heck of a tornado DDT to plant Bandido but it’s time for the parade of finishers. Johnson rolls Mark up with tights for two so Mark strikes away against the ropes. The Cutthroat Driver sets up the Doomsday Device to finish Johnson at 20:45.

Rating: B. This is all it should have been as they didn’t try to have much of a match outside of everyone going nuts and having fun out there. That’s all you need to do in a situation like this, because not only is this a special, but it’s probably the last match from the original era. It was a lot of fun and it worked very well, especially with the Briscoes getting the win, as should be how things go out.

Everyone hugs and the Briscoes are lifted onto some shoulders as commentary talks about how this is pretty much it to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: B-. And that’s it, which makes me rather sad. Ring of Honor is still the most influential promotion of this generation but it ends in front of no fans with a show that means nothing. The show itself was pretty good, but this was all about the farewell, which seems to be a whimper rather than any kind of grand finale. I’m not sure what is next for Ring of Honor, but I’m almost scared to see what follows this under the same name.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: August 3, 2007
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are on the way to Summerslam and now we have a main event set for the show. Batista will be challenging the Great Khali for the World Heavyweight Title, which you probably could have seen coming. Other than that, we’re getting some kind of competition between Matt Hardy and MVP, which will NOT be wrestling, because that would be too appropriate. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Batista interrupting Great Khali’s celebration last week (kind of a jerk move really) and setting up the Summerslam title match.

Opening sequence.

Here are Teddy Long and Kristal for a chat. Kristal says Teddylicious (JBL is gone off that one) has an announcement: the wedding will take place on September 21 and everyone here is invited! All you would have to do is come to Atlanta! Cue the Great Khali with Runjin Singh to interrupt though and Long is a bit nervous. Khali speaks to Long and screams at Kristal, who runs off. Singh translates, as Khali wants Batista for what happened last week, but Long doesn’t like how Khali spoke to the two of them. The title match is on for Summerslam though.

Kane vs. Chris Masters

Masters grabs a headlock to start but gets shoved away without much trouble. Kane chokes away in the corner and cranks on the arm to take Masters down. Masters manages to snap him throat first across the top rope and the neck crank goes on. That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex though and Kane adds a regular one for a bonus. Kane hammers away in the corner and hits the running clothesline into the side slam. Masters tries the Masterlock again but gets reversed into a chokeslam for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Basic power match here with Masters not being able to hook his one big move and getting chokeslammed instead. This was a fine way to keep Kane looking strong before he goes into whatever he’s doing at Summerslam. Masters…well he’s still employed and that’s impressive at this point.

Deuce N Domino are ready to take out Batista and Ric Flair. Deuce didn’t like Batista looking at Cherry….who is missing.

Chuck Palumbo still likes motorcycles.

Mark Henry vs. Nate Nickerson

Splash and bearhug finish for Henry in about a minute.

Henry says no one of consequence will take his challenge because of this, which sends us to a video on his dominance.

Jesse and Festus want to make sure they are well dressed, but only Jesse comes close.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. MVP, the latter of whom says he can beat Matt in anything.

It’s time for arm wrestling, with MVP taking his time like any heel in an arm wrestling contest. We go long form with the stalling so Matt finally grabs the hand and makes him start. Matt wins, sending MVP into a rant about how he can beat Matt in anything.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP

Non-title and joined in progress with Matt working on the arm. Matt sends the arm into the buckle and cranks away a bit before taking it down into an armbar. A Stunner on the arm gets two but MVP snaps Matt’s throat across the top. Now it’s MVP getting to crank on both arms at once but Matt throws him down and fires off right hands.

MVP is right back with the big boot, which sends Matt out to the floor to cut off the cover. The front facelock goes on back inside, because kicking Matt in the head again isn’t an option for some reason. Matt powers up and grabs a suplex to escape, followed by the clotheslines. A bulldog gives Matt two and a Side Effect is good for the same. The threat of the Twist of Fate sends MVP outside again and this time he takes the countout.

Rating: B-. These two worked well together and now the feud gets to continue. The good thing is they didn’t do something stupid here like have a surprise fall, as MVP bailing to talk more trash later is the right way to go. Hardy is actually on a heck of a roll at the moment and hopefully that leads somewhere good.

Domino is looking for Cherry and finds her coming out of Batista’s locker room. They leave with Deuce, but Ric Flair was inside. Batista pops up for some smiling as I have a lot of questions.

Jamie Noble runs into a laughing Funaki and Shannon Moore, who mock him for being short and losing to Hornswoggle. Noble gets frustrated as Hornswoggle pops out of a garbage can.

Rey Mysterio is back at Summerslam.

Chavo Guerrero comes in to see Vickie Guerrero and Kristal. The latter leaves so Chavo talks about putting Rey Mysterio out of action. Vickie gives him Rey at Summerslam.

Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

Noble forearms him in the back of the head to start and some headbutts keep Moore in trouble. Moore fights up and hits Jeff Hardy’s Whisper in the Wind for two, only to walk into a gutbuster for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, but it was a way to get Noble on the show, likely for what will be a goofy post match bit with Hornswoggle. That’s hardly the most thrilling deal, but at least they’re doing something with the title. Now granted they haven’t had a chance to turn it into a full on joke yet, but give them some time.

Post match here’s Hornswoggle for the chase, capped off with Noble getting hit with a pie (which he just happened to have laying around). Then Hornswoggle steps on him and runs away.

Kenny Dykstra vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Victoria and cowgirl Torrie Wilson are here. Yang grabs a headlock to start and hits a hard clothesline to the floor. The ensuing dive takes Dykstra out again but he’s right back with a neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on, followed by a suplex and another chinlock. Dykstra ties him in the Tree of Woe, where Victoria gets in a few shots of her own.

Yang doesn’t seem to mind and comes back with a dropkick, followed by the running spinwheel kick in the corner. The high crossbody is knocked out of the air though, meaning Dykstra can go up as well. This time it’s Yang kicking him down, setting up the moonsault press for the pin.

Rating: C. The more I watch these shows, the more amazed I am by how how nothing a lot of these matches seem to be. Yang is just shy of being a comedy character (who can wrestle a nice enough match) and he’s having a match with another low level guy like Dykstra. It’s not bad action or anything, but there isn’t much to draw anyone in here.

Ric Flair/Batista vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title and Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Batista punches away at Deuce to start and it’s off to Flair for a hiptoss. It’s back to Batista for an armbar, which doesn’t last very long. Instead Flair comes back in and is backdropped down to give Deuce N Domino a breather. Domino hits a jumping back elbow to the jaw for two and we take a break.

Back with Batista getting to clean house and handing it off to Flair for the Figure Four. Domino makes the fast save though and it’s an armbar to keep Flair down. Deuce punches away to set up the Flair Flop and the armbar goes on again. Flair is bleeding from the eye, meaning Domino can stay on the arm. An elbow to the face gets Flair out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in Batista to clean house. The spear and spinning Boss Man Slam connect…and here is Great Khali. The distraction lets Deuce N Domino jump Batista and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C+. Batista and Flair still work well together and it wouldn’t have been a terrible upset, but the champs can’t beat Flair in a tag match? With distraction included? I know their reign is all but dead but egads man. Pretty good for a low level main event though, and Khali vs. Batista is built up some more. The match is going to be ugly, but they’re doing something to set it up.

Post match Khali puts Flair in a claw hold and knocks him out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Certainly not a bad show overall, but another show you didn’t need to see. That happens too frequently around Smackdown and it is never a good thing to see. They did add a few more matches to Summerslam, but another Rey vs. Chavo match is hardly the big drawing card for the show. Matt vs. MVP is good for a secondary feud though and if they can find a good angle, the title change should work out well. Overall pretty good, but they fall off after a certain point when it comes to feeling important.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Make sure you check out some recent reviews:

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Royal Rumble 1996 (2012 Redo)

Royal Rumble 1997 (2017 Redo)

ECW On Sci Fi – July 31, 2007

NXT – January 5, 2022

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As always, please check out all of the videos if you can, hit up the comments section and get on the Wrestling Rumors Facebook page.

NXT
Date: January 4, 2022
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Wade Barrett

It’s a big night as we have New Year’s Evil featuring the main event of NXT Champion Tommaso Ciampa defending against Bron Breakker. That’s big enough, but we also have a triple threat match for the Women’s Title and AJ Styles confronting Grayson Waller. Not wrestling mind you, but confronting him. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at the beginning of the new year with a focus on the card. Then we get to Breakker vs. Ciampa, when the video shifts into evil.

North American Title/Cruiserweight Title: Carmelo Hayes vs. Roderick Strong

Title for title, with Trick Williams and Diamond Mine here too. They fight over a lockup to start until Strong grabs an armbar to take over. Back up and Hayes scores with a dropkick to stagger Strong for a change. Strong tries to take him down but Hayes nips up and scores with an enziguri. With that not working, Strong chops him hard up against the ropes, so Hayes drops to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Strong gets caught in the ropes, setting up a springboard legdrop for a cool looking crash. They head to the apron with Hayes hitting a big jumping DDT to rock Strong. They go inside again and Hayes misses something off the top, setting up a heck of a Sick Kick for two. We take a break and come back with Strong fighting out of a wristlock and hitting a running clothesline.

Some backbreakers look to set up the Strong Hold but Hayes reverses into one of his own. That’s reverses as well and now the Strong Hold can go on. With that broken up as well, Strong hits a Rock Bottom backbreaker for two more. Hayes is ties in the ropes for the running forearms, setting up the Angle Slam for two.

Back up and Hayes grabs a suplex into a cutter for his own near fall and we have a shocked face. Hayes gets caught up top and Strong grabs a super X Plex…or at least I think he does as they both crash hard. Hayes is ok enough to cover for two, followed by the top rope Fameasser for the pin and the titles at 15:41.

Rating: B. I’m still not sure what the landing on that super X Plex was supposed to be, but the rest of the match was pretty awesome as they were trading one big spot after another. They weren’t going for anything more than trading bombs until one of them couldn’t get up, and that’s it for the Cruiserweight division. Good match, and one of the better things to air on NXT TV in a long time.

AJ Styles wishes Tommaso Ciampa luck. There doesn’t appear to be much tension here.

The Dusty Classics are coming back, with the men’s version in two weeks and the women’s version in February.

Here is AJ Styles for a chat. After soaking in some cheers, AJ says he never gets tired of that, and talks about how he always wanted to come here, even when he first got to WWE. The fans always have that passion but there is always someone who wants to take it away. That’s where Grayson Waller comes in….and cue Waller himself, to bring up Styles losing to Omos last night.

Waller doesn’t buy this idea that Styles would have started in NXT and is tired of everyone calling him green. Styles says he’s never had a one on one match in NXT, so let’s get a referee out here and change that. Waller says we’re on Grayson Waller time we can do this next week. It can be the biggest win of his life, but AJ thinks it will be the biggest embarrassment. The fight is on with AJ getting kicked down before clearing the ring. At least the match is set.

Pete Dunne is ready to take out Tony D’Angelo for hurting his hand last week.

Kayden Carter/Kacy Catanzaro tell Amari Miller they are ready to win the Tag Team Titles. Miller needs a partner for the Dusty Classic but Tiffany Stratton runs off at the thought. The sleeping girl wakes up, asks why people are staring at her, and introduces herself as Wendy Chu. More sleep ensues.

Riddle/MSK vs. Imperium

Nash Carter starts with Fabian Aichner and gets powered down early on. A shot to the face staggers Aichner though and it’s off to Wes Lee to kick Aichner in the ribs. Lee can’t whip him in though and Aichner BLASTS HIM with a clothesline. That’s enough from them so it’s off to Riddle vs. Walter (who looks to have dropped a good bit of weight) with Riddle striking away. That doesn’t last long as everything breaks down, with Walter pulling Lee out of the air and carrying him to the wrong corner. The running double dropkicks put Lee on the floor and it’s an Imperium pose to send us to a break.

Back with Carter in trouble and a tag attempt being cut off. Carter finally gets in a kick to Walter though and the hot tag brings in Riddle to clean house. More strikes and a t-bone suplex drop Walter, setting up the running Broton. Everything breaks down again and some stereo dives take out Aichner and Barthel.

Back in and Riddle manages a German suplex on Walter for two but Aichner and Barthel offer a distraction. That’s enough for Walter to kick Riddle down and hit the powerbomb for two. A brainbuster gets two on Riddle but he strikes his way to freedom. It’s back to Carter for the Blockbuster Hart Attack, setting up Riddle’s Floating Bro to Aichner. The RKO finishes Barthel at 13:51.

Rating: B+. This was the kind of match that has been missing around here, as it was straight action and everyone going nuts. It also helps that it had star power, with Riddle and Walter feeling like bigger stars than anyone else on the show (save for AJ). That’s what this show has been lacking and it was great to see it again.

Joe Gacy is proud of Harland for getting better and thinks the Dusty Cup would make him happy. But no, they don’t want any special treatment to get into the tournament.

Mandy Rose gets an entrance in a helicopter.

Elektra Lopez is attracted to success and next week, you will get your answers. Next week it’s Santos Escobar vs. Xyon Quin and she is leaving with the winner.

Women’s Title: Mandy Rose vs. Raquel Gonzales vs. Cora Jade

Rose is defending and gets sent outside in a hurry. That leaves Raquel to power Jade around but a headscissors puts her on the floor as well. Rose pulls Jade outside for a beating but it’s a double Samoan drop from Gonzales back inside. We take a break and come back with Jade trying a rollup but getting tossed hard to the floor instead.

That leaves Mandy alone with Gonzales so it’s time to run away, only to have Gonzales chase her down in a hurry. Mandy gets tossed to the floor but comes back with a kendo stick shot for two. Gonzales comes back with the Chingona Bomb but Jade dives off the top with a backsplash for the save. That leaves Gonzales very angry indeed so she goes after Jade, only to get shoved outside. Jade’s rollup doesn’t work though as Rose sits down on it and retains the title at 12:28.

Rating: C-. Well they tried, but this was a rather sloppy match and it was quite the train wreck. There are only so many things that you can expect from three women who are a mixture of inexperienced and not that good, which means putting them out there for twelve minutes on live TV wasn’t the greatest idea. They aren’t ready for this spot without someone to help guide them through a match and that was obvious more than once. They did try hard and that makes a difference, but it wasn’t working.

Boa runs water over his face, making the painted version of himself appear next to him in the mirror.

Riddle congratulates MSK on their win and says goodbye for now. The Creed Brothers pop up to say the tag division is more serious and they’re winning the Dusty Cup.

Here is Andre Chase, who is rather proud of his student for trying to help him last week. That has earned him a FULL SCHOLARSHIP but here is Von Wagner to interrupt. He’s the star around here and punches out Chase for daring to talk. Wagner beats up the student as well and then goes after the fans as well, with referees and security pulling him away.

Video on Bron Breakker vs. Tommaso Ciampa.

Von Wagner is being escorted out of the building, but stops to laugh at Roderick Strong.

Video on Cameron Grimes’ amazing 2021. He wants gold in 2022.

NXT Title: Tommaso Ciampa vs. Bron Breakker

Breakker is challenging and breaks some chains and a big X on the way to the ring. Ciampa starts with some running elbows but gets caught in a delayed suplex. Breakker nips up as Ciampa rolls to the floor for an early breather. Another suplex keeps Ciampa in trouble but he gets smart by going after the knee. Breakker gets taken down with a dropkick before a running knee puts him on the floor. Ciampa even busts out a running corkscrew dive (that’s a new one for him) and that’s good for some self applause.

Back in and the chinlock goes on but Breakker is on his feet in a hurry. The running shoulder to the ribs in the corner rocks Ciampa again but he ties Breakker in the Tree of Woe. Stomping and a running dropkick get Breakker out, where he is able to block the Fairy Tale Ending. A spinebuster and standing moonsault get two on Ciampa. Breakker goes to the middle rope but pauses (in a callback to his mistake in their first match), allowing Ciampa to knock him off the top.

Breakker seems to have tweaked his knee so Ciampa (now bleeding from the eye) hits some running knees to the face. A spear cuts Ciampa in half though and they’re both down. Back up and Breakker tries the gorilla press but Ciampa reverses into a tornado DDT….which almost goes very badly wrong as they land on the ropes. Ciampa is able to jump right into position for the Willow’s Bell though and we hit a half crab on Breakker. With that broken up, Ciampa heads outside and pulls back the floor mat.

That takes too long though and Breakker hits a HARD Alabama Slam through the announcers’ table. Back in and Ciampa uses the middle rope for a low blow, setting up another knee to the head. There’s another one for a bonus as Kenny Omega has entered the match. Ciampa hits a third running knee, setting up the Fairy Tale Ending for two, meaning it’s Ciampa’s turn to be shocked. Breakker knocks Ciampa off the top and hits a top rope bulldog, setting up a Recliner for the tap and the title at 15:29.

Rating: B. This was about passing the torch and that’s the feeling it presented, as Ciampa gave it everything he had and came up short. They had to change the title here as Breakker is a beast who has already lost once. He’s looking more and more like a prodigy every day and that’s not something you get to see very often. I’m not sure what he’s going to do as champion, but it wouldn’t shock me to see him on the main roster before the end of the year.

Ciampa nods to Breakker, who celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a heck of a show that felt like a mini Takeover. The thing that made this one work was how structured everything felt. It came off like the people putting this show together had a bunch of stuff planned and then went out and executed it rather well. That’s how a big show is supposed to feel and it is the exact opposite of how this show feels most of the time. Awesome show here, and the title changes felt important, so well done for this week.

Results
Carmelo Hayes b. Roderick Strong – Top rope Fameasser
Riddle/MSK b. Imperium – RKO to Barthel
Mandy Rose b. Cora Jade and Raquel Gonzales – Cradle to Jade
Bron Breakker b. Tommaso Ciampa – Steiner Recliner

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: July 31, 2007
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

The CM Punk vs. John Morrison feud seems to be continuing and Punk might have a new path to get back to the title. Last week Morrison introduced the 15 Minutes Of Fame, where you can get a title shot for surviving against him in a fifteen minute match. That could go in a few different ways so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence, with Let The Bodies Hit The Floor back as the theme song.

Here is John Morrison for an opening chat. He is our portal to the infinite and the new face of extreme. Join him in the Palace of Wisdom or continue to be slaves to society. He is a fighting champion, so tonight it is a new 15 Minutes Of Fame Challenge against one of the greatest athletes in Arizona. We hear about some Arizona athletes, none of whom were up to Morrison’s standards. Instead, we have this challenger.

John Morrison vs. Joey Blaylock

Non-title and Morrison knees him down, setting up the corkscrew neckbreaker for the pin in less than thirty seconds. As he has been in the past, Blaylock would become better known as Joey Ryan.

Post match Morrison says that wasn’t much of a challenge so he wants another opponent. Cue Tommy Dreamer, to say he has been around longer than fifteen minutes and wants a shot of his own. Cue Elijah Burke to say Dreamer is prehistoric and fifteen years past his time. Someone like him deserves the shot, but here is CM Punk to interrupt as well. If Morrison is that confident, let’s do it one more time, and if Punk loses, he’ll never challenge again. Morrison turns them all down, because that was a grueling match. Instead, do the triple threat thing, with the winner getting a 15 Minutes Of Fame challenge next week.

Stevie Richards vs. Kevin Thorn

Rematch from last week where Richards won in an upset. Thorn powers him into the corner to start and stomps away before tying Richards in the ropes. The neck crank doesn’t last long so we go with the reverse chinlock to keep Richards in trouble. There’s a torture rack to stay on the back and Thorn drops to his knees for a backbreaker and a near fall. Back up and Thorn misses a charge into the post, setting up a rollup to give Richards the fluke pin.

Rating: C-. Again, giving someone some wins is the perfect way to build them up. It really is that simple a lot of the time but for some reason it is turned into something far too complicated. Richards was a joke and suddenly looks like a little something just by winning two matches. Odds are it doesn’t lead anywhere, but at least they’re making a bit of an effort.

Video on Big Daddy V.

Video on CM Punk.

Big Daddy V vs. Jeff Michaels/Brandon Gaston/John Armstrong

Everyone goes after V at the same time so Michaels is gorilla pressed onto Armstrong. The beating is on in a hurry and it’s a triple splash in the corner. A swinging Boss Man Slam drives Gaston onto the other two for the triple pin. Almost a literal squash.

Post match the Boogeyman returns (now with new face paint) and V bails.

Extreme Expose dances, followed by Layla introducing Miz.

Miz vs. Balls Mahoney

Miz sends him to the apron to start and a drop toehold sends Mahoney face first into the middle buckle. Mahoney fights back with an uppercut and spinebuster for two with Miz putting his foot on the rope. Back up and Mahoney misses a charge into the corner, allowing Miz to hit the Reality Check for the fast pin.

Video on Tommy Dreamer.

Elijah Burke says that was a nice video but he’ll just tell you what’s about to happen because his highlight video would go on a lot longer. He’s going to win tonight.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

Tommy Dreamer vs. CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke

The winner gets a 15 Minutes of Fame match against John Morrison next week. Joined in progress after a break with Punk getting kicked to the floor, leaving Dreamer to send Burke face first into the buckle. Punk is back in so Dreamer neckbreakers him down for an early two. Burke sends Dreamer outside and pounds on Punk, setting up the chinlock. That’s broken up and Punk kicks Burke in the face for two of his own, only to get backdropped over the top (and partially onto the steps).

The fans want tables but have to settle for Burke Russian legsweeping Dreamer for two. Burke’s handstand elbow out of the corner gets the same, with Punk making the save this time. Punk sends Dreamer outside as well and hits the double suicide dive for the big crash. They all get back in with Dreamer belly to back suplexing Punk for two, with Burke making a save of his own.

Burke stomps on both of them until Dreamer pulls him into a Texas Cloverleaf. Punk breaks that up with a hard kick to the back of Dreamer’s head, setting up a butterfly backbreaker for two on Burke. Dreamer takes Burke up top but it gets turned into the Tower of Doom to put everyone down. Back up and Punk sends Dreamer outside, setting up the GTS to finish Burke.

Rating: C+. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Dreamer was a nice addition to the match as it gave you a possible second option. No one would have bought Burke having a chance one on one against Punk but there was a tiny chance that Dreamer could have pulled it off. Punk is the way to go though, and now he has a chance to earn another title shot, but it needs to be his last one.

Overall Rating: C. As has been the case for a long time, the World Title is the only thing that feels like it matters around here. They did set up Boogeyman vs. Big Daddy V, but that can’t go longer than one match. Richards is interesting to a point, though I can’t imagine he is anything more than a light meal for a bigger star. A second story would do a lot of good around here, and that is more than building someone up for a one sided feud.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 1997
Date: January 19, 1997
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 60,235
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’m scared to think how many of those tickets were freebies. This is the annual requested redo and I’m not sure what to expect going into it. Well I am as I’ve seen the show multiple times but it’s been awhile. The main event is of course Shawn Michaels vs. Sid II because we need the big hometown moment. Those actually existed back in 1997. Let’s get to it.

As you might expect, the opening video is all about Shawn because it’s 1997. The title win at Wrestlemania was nice at all but his defining moment came at Survivor Series when he showed compassion for Jose Lothario instead of trying to retain the title. Well to be fair that would be defining as it meant Shawn actually lost a title match instead of vacating the title so maybe they’re on to something.

The announcers preview the show and Lawler is VERY excited about the main event.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

This is one of my least favorite matches ever. Helmsley is defending against a freshly face Goldust. Basically everyone thought Goldust was gay but he confirmed that he wasn’t, which sent HHH after Marlena for some reason. Mr. Hughes makes his debut as HHH’s short lived bodyguard/butler which is code for bodyguard/Chyna is on the way.

Goldust jumps him in the aisle and hammers away in the corner until a quick atomic drop gets us to even. A catapult sends HHH outside as the crowd is really, really quiet here. I’m not sure if it’s the place being huge or the fans being bored but it’s not working so far. Goldust sends him into the steps, causing JR to suggest we might get a DQ. I mean, we probably won’t this early but points for doing your job.

They keep using the steps with HHH bouncing off them and now Lawler thinks it should be a DQ. Vince talks about some fans who had been trying to talk to Shawn for weeks being thrown out of the building. That’s one of those things that doesn’t really hold up over time as they just gloss over it and expect us to know what he’s talking about. It makes sense at the time but there are probably better things to talk about during a title match on pay per view.

HHH actually comes off the top with an ax handle but a running knee hits the barricade. As JR asks about a DQ again, Goldust starts in on the knee like a good challenger should. We hit a Figure Four as this is already dragging horribly. The knee goes into the steps again as the announcers are wondering why the referee is letting so much go. Back in and Goldust misses a crossbody (called a high risk by JR) to send him outside as HHH takes over again.

The referee FINALLY does something by taking away the director’s chair before HHH can swing it (Lawler: “Why didn’t you do something about those stairs earlier?”) and they head back in. The match is so boring that we actually cut over to an interview with a country singer in the audience. That’s getting up there on the all time boredom scale and the dead crowd seems to agree.

HHH misses the kneedrop and hurts his leg again in the process but he’s still able to roll away from a Macho Elbow. Hughes, likely as bored as the rest of us, throws in the title but HHH would rather kiss Marlena. That earns him a belt shot to the head, only to have Hughes pull HHH out at two. Of course that’s not a DQ so Goldust goes after Hughes, setting up the Pedigree for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: F+. Oh yeah this is still bad and still one of the worst matches I can ever remember to open the show. It’s too long, too boring and completely uninteresting. This really needed to have about seven minutes chopped off and far less using the steps. I dread this match every time I watch the show and that hasn’t changed a bit.

Bret Hart is used to being the marked man in a match so the Royal Rumble will be no different.

Mankind talks about the Rumble being a chance to hurt a lot of people that he doesn’t like as well as some that he does. It’s going to be a very nice day.

Faarooq vs. Ahmed Johnson

Faarooq injured Johnson back in 1996 and it’s finally time for the grudge match in a feud that felt like it went on for the better part of forever. There are at least ten members of the Nation of Domination here, including a few actors who exist for the sole purpose of making the group bigger. As you might expect, Ahmed erupts to start and beats Faarooq down in the corner before sending him into the post. Where’s the OUTRAGE from the announcers over this blatant breaking of the rules?

A shot to the kidneys slows Johnson down and Faarooq calls for a belt, earning himself a clothesline in the process though. The brawl heads outside for a bit with neither being able to keep control all that long as you would expect in a brawl like this. A chair to the back keeps Ahmed in trouble and Faarooq opts to just kick him in the kidneys for good measure.

It’s off to the very logical reverse chinlock but Faarooq does the very stupid posing, allowing an electric chair to put him down. Faarooq comes right back with a spinebuster though, which JR calls a physical catch instead of a fair catch. Uh, right Jim. Ahmed pops up again and hits one of his own, meaning it’s time for the Nation to come in for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. Still not great but WAY better than the first, at least partially because it’s half the length of the opener. Johnson vs. Faarooq needed to be some big wild brawl, or maybe Johnson finding some partners to help him fight off the team. Like say the Legion of Doom in Chicago in a street fight. But for some reason the feud just kept going after that, which is probably why this feud isn’t the most fondly remembered.

Post match the Nation bails for some reason, leaving Ahmed to Pearl River Plunge one of them through a table.

Terry Funk thinks he can win because we’re in Texas. Nah, just one of those per show dude. Besides, Goldust is from Austin and look at what he got. Or don’t look actually as it’s too horrible for words. Or reviews for that matter.

Faarooq says he’ll take care of Ahmed in the Rumble because Johnson is an “Uncle Tom”.

Vader vs. Undertaker

There’s not much of a story here save for some back and forth attacks. We get the big long Undertaker entrance and as usual it looks amazing in the big stadium. They slug it out to start with Undertaker doing the sit up off a clothesline. The standing splash gets the exact same reaction and Vader is looking a bit worried.

The fight heads outside with Undertaker getting the better of it but Vader drops him ribs first across the top rope to take over again. Undertaker gets in a slam followed by a legdrop, which JR says is like no one has ever done. I’m sure that’s certainly not meant as a jab at anyone in particular second cousin twice removed.

Old School is broken up which JR says means Vader had it well scouted. Or Vader was smart enough to do ANYTHING when Undertaker was off balance and distracted? And now, let’s go INTERVIEW A FAN WHO SAVED UP TO COME TO THE SHOW. Lawler rips on Pettengill for wasting our time like that (amen brother) while Vader was pounding Undertaker about the head and shoulders (the body parts, not the shampoo).

We hit the lame nerve hold for a bit until Undertaker suplexes his way to freedom, leaving both guys down. Vader is up first and goes to the middle rope, only to dive into a powerslam. That would be a lot more impressive if Ahmed hadn’t done the EXACT SAME THING, even from the same corner, to Faarooq in the previous match.

Vader’s powerbomb gets two but Old School drops him again….and here’s Paul Bearer. Undertaker gets in a chokeslam but makes the mistake of going after Paul. Vader tries for a save and avoids a dive off the steps, sending Undertaker ribs first into the barricade. Bearer adds an urn shot and it’s the Vader Bomb to put Undertaker away.

Rating: C-. I’m a fan of Undertaker slugging away at a monster so this was more entertaining than it probably should have been. Vader was in something close to a free fall after losing to Shawn at Summerslam so this was more of a comeback win than anything else. Undertaker vs. Bearer would continue for a very long time.

Vader leaves with Bearer and Undertaker beats up a referee.

Austin says he isn’t talking with anyone until he wins the Rumble.

British Bulldog is going to win because he’s bizarre. Yes, bizarre.

Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Fuerza Guerrera/Heavy Metal

This is a AAA match because the company was willing to try ANYTHING to get people interested, including these guys that 99% of fans have never heard of before. I’ll do my best to have any idea who these people are and what’s going on here but bear with me. Estrada and Heavy Metal (who Vince things is Estrada) start things off do a technical sequence to start before it’s off to the ancient looking Aguayo vs. the very feathery looking Estrada.

The crowd is just GONE for this one as Canek’s middle rope crossbody gets on Guerrera. Fuerza misses a top rope crane kick Swanton (that’s an odd one) so Canek gets an easy two. Heavy Metal does a Tajiri handspring but stumbles through the elbow to drop Garza. Things speed up a bit but they still seem a few steps off to keep this from getting, you know, good.

We hit a stalemate and that means it’s time to shake hands and bring in Estrada and Canek. They start running the ropes but WAIT! Time for more tags. Metal avoids a Figure Four and we get down to a bit of a traditional tag formula with the focus on Metal’s leg. Guerrera tries to make a save but dropkicks Metal by mistake and everything breaks down. Garza gets in his corkscrew plancha and Aguayo’s top rope double stomp to the arm (meant to be ribs) finally ends Metal.

Rating: D. I’ll give them points for trying something different here but this didn’t work for me. The wrestling wasn’t great here and I really have no idea who these people are. It was a nice try at something new and when you’re in the depths that the company was in at this point it’s worth the shot but this was a big miss.

Attendance announcement.

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals here and it’s Crush in at #1 and Ahmed in at #2. JR says Ahmed has a minute and a half to do whatever he wants to Crush. So Crush is stuck with his arms behind his back and isn’t allowed to fight back? They fight to the mat and the clock messes up so it’s Fake Razor Ramon in at #3, earning one heck of a booing. Thankfully Ahmed gets rid of the clown in about ten seconds but Faarooq shows up in the aisle, meaning Ahmed eliminates himself to go after him.

Thankfully (I think?) Phineas Godwinn is in at #4 to give us something to watch. It’s as thrilling of a brawl as you can imagine as Vince keeps talking about the clock issues, which means there’s no clock to be seen. Austin is in at #5 to wake the crowd up a bit and a middle rope clothesline is enough to allow Phineas to get rid of Crush. A Stunner gets rid of Phineas and it’s Bart Gunn in at #6. That lasts all of twenty six seconds before Austin is all alone again.

Jake Roberts is in at #7 and throws the snake bag in for a bonus. The DDT is loaded up but a backdrop gets rid of Jake, who is replaced by British Bulldog at #8. This goes a bit better with Bulldog pounding Austin down until Pierroth (AAA guy) is in at #9. The luchador gets double teamed until Bulldog wises up and turns on Austin. Sultan, whose music sounds like Pierroth’s, is in at #10 as they’re flying through this so far.

Bulldog puts Austin on the apron but gets poked in the eye for his efforts. We’ve got a clock now and the fans are into it again, which is a really good sign for the match. Mil Mascaras is in at #11 and you know he’s going to get his stuff in. HHH is in at #12 as there’s really not much going on in between these entrances. Bulldog gets rid of Sultan to clear the ring out a bit though it doesn’t do much to keep the crowd going. The middle rope middle finger elbow hits HHH and Owen Hart is in at #13.

Without much going on, Owen “accidentally” eliminates Bulldog, who really isn’t happy with his partner as a result. Goldust is in at #14 and everyone gangs up on him for some reason. Cibernetico (also from AAA) is in at #15 and is tossed almost as quickly, along with Pierroth. Marc Mero is in at #16 as Mascaras dives on Cibernetico to eliminate himself in the process (which I’m sure was a COMPLETE mistake), followed by Goldust tossing HHH. That leaves us with Hart, Austin, Mero and Goldust who are joined by Latin Lover at #17.

Lover gets in some basic stuff before Faarooq comes in at #18 to eliminate him. Cue Ahmed again for a 2×4 shot to Faarooq to get rid of him as well. Austin dumps Mero and Hart, leaving himself alone in the ring. Savio Vega, Austin’s old rival, is in at #19 and scores with a spinwheel kick. That’s about it though as Austin clotheslines him out to be alone again. Jesse James is next and while he lasts a bit longer than Vega, it’s still not even a minute before Austin gets rid of him. Austin sits on the middle rope…..and it’s BRET HART at #21, giving Austin one of the best OH DANG looks in wrestling history.

The key to him though: he sees Bret coming, shakes his head, and tells Bret to bring it on before starting the slug out. Notice that: he didn’t back down and came out swinging because that’s how Austin rolled. It wouldn’t fit Austin to panic and try to beg or something. Man against man, Austin thought he could beat anyone on the planet no matter what circumstances he was up against. That’s good storytelling and a big part of what made him a star.

Lawler is in at #22 and starts the “it takes a king” line before leaving. Two right hands later and he’s back on the floor four seconds later to finish the catchphrase. Vince: “Do you know you were just in the ring?” JR mentions that Bret said he should just be the WWF Champion coming into the show, which is a great example of how his heel turn took off.

Fake Diesel (as played by the future Kane) is in at #23 and at least he looks close enough to pass for a Nash look-a-like. From behind or at a distance, you could actually make a mistake. Fake Razor on the other hand wasn’t even close and that’s why he was booed while Diesel is greeted with general indifference. A few power moves keep everyone down until it’s Terry Funk in at #24. It says a lot when Kane is by far and away the fourth most successful wrestler in a match.

Rocky Maivia is in at #25 to make Kane even less important and of course he goes right after Austin for the sake of future issues. The slow pace continues until Mankind is in at #26, giving us Mankind, Austin, Rocky, Funk, Diesel and Hart. If there has ever been a better collection of talent at one point in the Rumble, I’ve yet to see it. Just DANG what a lineup here.

Flash Funk is in at #27 and Lawler wants the Funkettes. Bret piledrives the heck out of Austin and Flash dives off the top to take out Diesel and Terry. Vader is in at #28 as I start to miss people wrestling earlier in the show and still being in the Royal Rumble. For some reason Flash makes the mistake of going after him, only to get pummeled down in a hurry. Henry Godwinn is in at #29 to bring the talent WAY down in a hurry.

The big Henry actually clotheslines Vader down as JR compares Lawler’s entrant to Bushwhacker Luke’s 1991 entrance. Oh come on. Lawler lasted TWICE as long as Luke. Undertaker completes the field at #30, giving us a final group of Undertaker, Austin, Hart, Terry Funk, Flash Funk, Diesel, Maivia, Vader, Godwinn and Mankind. Undertaker immediately punches Vader down before chokeslamming a few people.

The still unknown brothers have a bit of a fight as Vince calls Undertaker the favorite. Vader throws Flash out and we have Henry vs. Undertaker for a rather off brawl. Rocky almost has Bret out until Vader makes the save for no apparent reason. Austin and Funk chop each other half to death and probably have a blast doing so.

Undertaker throws Henry out and my jaw drops at the talent left in there. The final eight either already are or will be in the Hall of Fame one day. That’s INSANE and will likely never be even approached again. Mankind tosses Rocky and them pummels Terry before suplexing him out to the floor. Undertaker gets rid of Mankind, who is happy to brawl to the back with Funk. Bret dumps Austin for the pop of the night but the referees are busy breaking up the brawl, allowing Austin to come back in and eliminate Vader and Undertaker. Bret gets rid of Diesel, only to have Austin throw him out for the win in a great bit of cheating.

Rating: D+. And the good here is almost ALL Austin as the rest of the match was barely even worth talking about. There wasn’t much in the way of storytelling to be seen here as there wasn’t really a big winner teased until the very end. The lack of talent up until the end and time to go with the build towards the end didn’t do a lot of good as the match doesn’t even really start until Bret comes in two thirds of the way there. It’s certainly not the worst Rumble but it’s really not good either.

Bret has another tirade and while he has a point, he handles it like a baby.

We recap Shawn vs. Sid. Back at Survivor Series, Sid attacked Shawn’s manager with a camera to cost Shawn the title. Sid has been on a rampage since but now we’re in Shawn’s hometown for the big rematch.

Shawn says he’s sick with the flu (a-huh) but he’s ready to fight with 70,000 people (or closer to 50,000 depending on who you ask) behind him.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sid

Sid is defending of course. Shawn stares him down to start and is quickly shoved across the ring without too much effort. A kick to the chest puts Sid on the floor but he comes right back in and grabs a camel clutch. That goes nowhere (other than around for a long time) so Sid tries a chinlock, followed by one heck of a clothesline.

Some hard whips across the ring set up a bearhug because Sid needs to keep things slow. The bearhug stays on so long that Sid actually LAYS DOWN ON THE MAT WITH IT. A legdrop gets two and it’s already back to the reverse chinlock. Thankfully this one doesn’t last as long and Shawn comes back with a slam. Really a slam? After all that back work?

The forearm into the flying elbow connects but Sid goes outside to yell at Jose and his son. We get a ref bump so the chokeslam only gets two as a second ref comes in. Sid knocks the second referee down so Shawn hits him with the camera for two. The superkick gives Shawn the title back.

Rating: D+. As I said in the original review, this could have been much worse. I mean, not much worse but it could have been worse. Shawn winning the title back was the most obvious thing in the world and it’s ok to have him win here, especially in his hometown. It’s not exactly a good match but then again Sid isn’t exactly a good opponent. What is nice is seeing a hometown guy win a big match for a change and the fact that it derailed Shawn’s heel turn is…..well actually it kind of sucks but he wouldn’t have the title long anyway.

A ridiculously long celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. Why is this show so fondly remembered? The wrestling is pretty lame (though there are worse options) and the Rumble itself isn’t much to be remembered outside of Austin starting his rise to the top of the promotion. It’s not the worst Royal Rumble of all time but I don’t remember getting into the show a single time all night, save for that look from Austin when Bret came out. Just not a very good show but it’s from a bad time for the company.

Ratings Comparison

HHH vs. Goldust

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C-
2017 Redo: F+

Ahmed Johnson vs. Faarooq

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2017 Redo: D

Vader vs. Undertaker

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+
2017 Redo: C-

Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/El Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Heavy Metal/Fuerza Guerrera

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2017 Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2017 Redo: D+

Overall Rating
Original: C+
2013 Redo: D
2017 Redo: D

Now that’s more like it. The two main events just aren’t that good but I have NO idea what I was thinking on the opener. That match is a disaster and I can’t stand it less and less every time I see it.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

And the 2013 redo:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 1996
Date: January 21, 1996
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

We’re back to two minute intervals this year after last year’s mess. Thankfully the roster has gotten a much needed restocking with many future stars having debuted in recent months. This is still in a bad stretch for the company but things are looking much brighter for the future. Let’s get to it.

We open with Sunny (a gorgeous blonde with more star power than she knew what to do with) in a bathtub, saying this show is graphic and view discretion is advised.

Free For All: HHH vs. Duke Droese

This is the pre-show match and the winner is #30 in the Rumble while the loser is #1. Duke takes him into the corner for some right hands to the head to start but HHH starts going after the arm to take over. A powerslam cuts HHH off but the Trash Compactor (tilt-a-whirl powerslam) is broken up. HHH gets in a foreign object shot and Droese is done at 6:24.

Rating: D-. Nothing to see here of course but this was just a way to set up something for the battle royal. I’m not sure who was supposed to be interested in seeing a wrestling garbageman but that was the WWF in this era, which explains why the company was in the place they were in.

Never mind actually as WWF President Gorilla Monsoon comes out and reverses the decision to make Droese #30.

The opening video is about how the champion is defined by Hart, as in Bret Hart. Tonight though he’s against a force who has no heart, in the form of Undertaker. The Intercontinental title match (Ramon vs. Goldust) and the Rumble are talked about as well.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Last month at In Your House, Jarrett hit Johnson (a very muscular powerhouse) with a gold record to set this up. Jarrett immediately bails to the floor to hide. Back in he tries a hiptoss and Ahmed shrugs him off with ease. A headlock is easily countered by a throw from Johnson and a clothesline takes Jarrett down. There’s a World’s Strongest Slam for two on Jeff and things slow down again. Johnson misses a clothesline by a mile but Jeff sells it anyway of course.

A crossbody misses as well but this time Johnson goes flying over the top, getting his hand caught in the ropes on the way down. A HARD whip into the steps puts Johnson down and we head back in. Ahmed starts no selling stuff and catches a dive in a bearhug. That goes nowhere so Johnson sends him to the floor and hits a big dive. Back in and Ahmed misses a Swanton of all things (remember that he weighs about 280lbs) and there’s the Figure Four from Jarrett. Johnson powers out of it twice, so Jarrett cracks him with the guitar off the top for the weak DQ at 6:37.

Rating: C-. I was always an Ahmed fan so this was an easy pass for me. The image of the Swanton looked great if nothing else, which is more than enough to give this a pass. Jarrett was such a mess at this point and never went anywhere in the WWF. The ending completely sucked though and it really brought things down.

Merchandise plugs.

Diesel isn’t worried about the Rumble tonight and doesn’t think it’s Vader Time. He doesn’t care who he faces at Wrestlemania, but he isn’t happy with Undertaker being the #1 contender.

Tag Team Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. BodyDonnas

The Gunns are defending. The BodyDonnas are exercise enthusiasts Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Prichard with a major haircut). They have Sunny with them and my goodness is she stunning here. Skip and Billy start things off with Skip taking over with a headscissors. Just like Ahmed earlier, Billy misses a charge against the ropes and crashes to the outside. Both Gunns get double teamed until Bart ducks out of the way, allowing a charging Billy to dive onto both challengers on the floor.

Things settle down a bit and it’s back to Billy vs. Skip with the champion in control. Sunny hits on Bart until it’s a distracted Bart vs. Zip. A gorilla press puts Zip down but he makes a blind tag, allowing Skip to take over. The champions are fine with the double teaming stuff too, and take over on Skip very easily. Sunny gets on the apron and is knocked off just as quickly.

Now we get to the important part of the match as Billy goes to check on Sunny, allowing the Bodydonnas to pound away on Bart. Skip hits a nice plancha onto Billy before suplexing Zip onto Billy for two back inside. Billy gets to play Ricky Morton for awhile, being put in a chinlock by Zip. This goes on for awhile until we get a sloppy spot where the Bodydonnas collide and Skip rams heads will Billy. This would work a bit better if Billy wasn’t about eight inches taller than Candido.

The hot tag brings in Bart and everything breaks down with the champions taking over. The Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop combo) crushes Zip but Sunny’s distraction lets Skip break things up and take Zip’s place. Ignore the fact that one has the straps of his singlet up and the other doesn’t, and the fact that they look as different as Demolition did. In an ending the Expresses used back in the 80s, the challengers load up a double suplex on Bart, but Billy spears Skip down, causing Bart to fall on Zip for the pin to retain at 11:14.

Rating: C-. Tag wrestling at this time was really weak with very few solid teams anywhere to be found. The Gunns were ok at best and the Bodydonnas were only popular because of Sunny. Billy would turn heel relatively soon and would eventually join up with Road Dogg to form the New Age Outlaws and turn the division completely upside down. Nothing much to see here but it certainly wasn’t terrible.

We get some of the Billionaire Ted skits, which were unfunny shots at Ted Turner. Not his wrestling company directly, but Turner himself. I’m still not sure why they decided to do these but no one liked them and they came off as mean instead of funny or witty. Note Vince Russo as one of the executives in the board room skit.

We recap Razor vs. Goldust (a bizarre man obsessed with movies and played by Dustin Rhodes), where Goldust is hitting on Razor to mess with his mind before the match tonight. To say Goldust’s character got them in hot water around this point is a huge understatement.

Intercontinental title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust

The yet to be named Marlena debuts with Goldust here and Razor is defending as is his custom. Feeling out process to start with Goldust playing his usual mind games, which means rubbing himself. Razor cranks on the arm before grabbing a headlock which goes nowhere. Goldust goes behind Razor and molests him a bit to psych Razor out even more. They head to the corner with Razor having his head rubbed a bit, further ticking him off.

Razor goes for the arm so Goldust slaps him in the face. Perfect keeps making sex jokes as Razor slaps Goldust right back in the face. He spanks Goldust once as well, but the painted dude likes it. We head to the floor where Goldust hides behind Marlena as the stalling continues. Back in and Razor tries three straight headscissors before punching Goldust to the floor with a single shot.

We get more stalling which is called playing mind games before Ramon clotheslines him right back to the outside. Razor has to move Marlena out of the way, allowing Goldust to FINALLY do something, taking over with a shot to the ribs. Back in and Goldust focuses on the ribs, but not too much because that might mean we have some speed to this match. A bulldog gets two for Goldust as does a slingshot belly to back suplex.

Off to a sleeper, which Perfect suggests Goldust could use to do “whatever he wants” to Razor. Much like everything else in the match, this goes on way too long until Razor fights up and kicks Goldust low. He’s so spent though that Goldust gets a two count, causing Razor to start his comeback. Razor fires off his usual punches and the chokeslam gets two. A belly to back superplex hit but Marlena distracts the referee, allowing the 1-2-3 Kid to come in and kick Razor’s head off. Goldust gets the easy pin and the title at 14:15.

Rating: D-. Sweet freaking goodness this was dull. It went on WAY too long and had a bad ending on top of that, plus the stupid “psychology” from Goldust which wound up being more unpleasant than interesting or intelligent. Goldust would get WAY better when he became more of a comedy/parody character rather than this freaky dude that he was to start his WWF run. The matches got a lot better as a result too.

Wrestlemania XII is coming.

We get the usual promos for the Rumble, but we start with a statement from Shawn’s doctor who says he’s back and healthy. Thankfully this is kept very short and he’s not dull. We hear from Owen, Roberts, Lawler, Barry Horowitz (a career jobber who got a fluke win at Summerslam 1995), Vader (a newly debuted monster) and Michaels. Shawn would be the most obvious winner ever in the Rumble since…..well since last year when he was the absolutely obvious pick to win.

Vince and Perfect talk about the Rumble a bit.

Royal Rumble

HHH is #1 due to losing on the Free for All and Henry Godwinn is #2. The fact that he just happens to be feuding with HHH at this point is a pure coincidence. Helmsley pounds away in the corner to start but gets backdropped down very quickly. HHH pokes him in the eye and chokes away until Bob Backlund is #3. Backlund saves HHH before pounding away on him. These wide shots are showing how nearly empty the upper deck is.

Jerry Lawler is #4 as HHH hits the jumping knee to Godwinn’s jaw. The fans chant Burger King and you know Lawler isn’t going to pass up a chance to rile up a crowd. He goes to get the slop bucket that Godwinn brought with him, but Henry clears the ring and gets the bucket, throwing it over the top onto Lawler and some of Backlund. Bob Holly is #5 and things slow down a bit until HHH erupts on Godwinn for some reason.

We get some slow paced elimination teases until Mabel is #6. Still nothing happens so here’s Jake Roberts at #7 to an eruption. No one has been eliminated yet as Jake throws in the snake and everyone but Lawler can get to the floor. After nearly giving him a heart attack with the snake, Lawler disappears for a good while as he hides under the ring. Mabel gets tied up in the ropes and pounded on for a bit until Dory Funk Jr. is #8.

The DDT is countered by HHH as we hear about a friendship between Terry Funk and Bruce Willis of all people. Backlund and Funk go at it because they’re both old and I doubt Dory knows most of the other people in the ring. Lawler is seen hiding under the ring. Yokozuna is #9 as there are WAY too many people in the match at the moment. Backlund puts Dory in the chicken wing and is eliminated by Yokozuna for a prize. Yokozuna crushes Godwinn in the corner but Mabel splashes Yokozuna, killing Henry in the process.

The 1-2-3 Kid is #10 but Razor charges down the aisle to chase him away (not eliminated). Officials get Razor off the Kid but it takes Mabel beating Razor down to stop the chases. It amazes me that Razor was never in a Rumble. Omori, a Japanese star that doesn’t mean much yet, is #11. At the moment we’ve got HHH, Lawler (under the ring), Holly, Mabel, Roberts, Funk, Yokozuna, the Kid and Omori in the match after Godwinn was eliminated off camera.

Yokozuna and Mabel double team Omori until Jake pounds away on Yokozuna to the loudest reactions of the match so far. Funk hits a double underhook suplex on the Kid as Savio Vega is #12. He spinwheel kicks Mabel down, allowing Yokozuna to dump the reigning King (Mabel if you’re lucky enough to not remember that gimmick). Omori goes out thanks to Roberts and things slow down again.

Vader debuts at #13 and lumbers around while not doing much. He picks Bob Holly of all people to beat on first as Vega eliminates Dory. Vader pulls Savio back in from the apron for no apparent reason other than he wants to beat on him some more. Doug Gilbert from Memphis is #14 and HHH goes right after him for no apparent reason. Vader and Yokozuna slug it out to a big reaction but Vader has to stop to clothesline Roberts out.

The camera work in this is really bad as they keep looking at corners of the ring instead of the full thing, making us miss a lot of stuff. Savio pounds on Vader until one of the Squat Team members (BIG fat guys who are there because they’re fat and look alike) is #15. Vader sloppily throws Gilbert out and does the same to the Squat Team dude. Yokozuna and Vader slug it out again and people respond again.

The other member of the Squat Team is #16 but they both get in to double team Vader. The Mastodon (Vader if you’re not familiar) punches their faces in as only Vader can do before knocking them both to the floor. Owen Hart is #17 and everyone but Yokozuna is on one side of the ring for some reason. He and Vader double team Savio who doesn’t seem interested in selling at all. A pair of splashes in the corner crushes him, as do a regular splash and the big leg from Yokozuna.

Shawn is #17 to a decent pop but significantly smaller than Jake’s. Vader throws out Savio as Shawn goes after HHH and the Kid. Vader and Yokozuna slug it out a bit before slugging it out a lot. They fight against the ropes, so Shawn gets a running start and dumps them BOTH AT ONCE. Now THAT wakes up the crowd. If that’s not enough, Shawn gorilla presses (!) the Kid to the floor as the ring is suddenly very thin. Hakushi (a Japanese high flier)is #19 as the big guys fight on the floor.

Scratch the floor part as Vader gets back in and cleans house, but none of the eliminations count because he’s not legal. Once he’s finally taken away, we’ve got Shawn, HHH, Holly, Hart, Hakushi and Lawler underneath the ring. Tatanka is #20 as Shawn throws Jim Cornette out. Hakushi hits a Great Muta elbow on Hart in the corner as HHH of course goes after Shawn.

Michaels teases a bunch of eliminations to try to make us think he’s not winning. Owen dumps Hakushi as Aldo Montoya is #21. Shawn gets sent through the ropes to the floor, where he pulls Lawler out and sends him back into the ring. Tatanka puts out Montoya as Shawn puts out Lawler.

Here’s Diesel at #22 and house is cleaned. There goes Tatanka at the hands of the tall one and it’s time for Shawn vs. Diesel which gets a pop but is too short to mean much. Kama (later known as the Godfather) is #23 as this continues to go slowly. Shawn pounds on Holly in the corner as Kama and Diesel slug it out. The Ringmaster (Steve Austin, brand new here) is #24 and still wearing white boots in a really strange visual.

Shawn does his usual overblown self safe as Holly and Austin fight. Holly FINALLY goes out after nearly forty minutes and HHH vs. Austin happens about three years before it would mean anything. Barry Horowitz (with the awesome rock version of Hava Nagila) is #25 and he goes after Diesel. Well no one ever accused him of being brilliant. Shawn nips up to knock Owen to the apron, but Hart skins the cat back in.

HHH punches Diesel, so Diesel grabs him by the head and launches him to the floor. That’s about forty eight minutes for HHH which isn’t bad at all. Making a Difference Fatu (Don’t ask. Please don’t ask) is #26 and he doesn’t do much. Shawn and Owen can’t suplex the other one out so here’s Isaac Yankem DDS (later known as Kane) at #27. The ring is far too full but Barry is put out to thin it out a bit.

Owen hits the enziguri on Shawn (which put Michaels on the shelf leading up to this match) but Michaels hangs on again and puts Owen out while we’re looking at a double feature. Austin kills Shawn with a clothesline and here’s Marty Jannetty at #28. Fatu superkicks Kane as the burst of energy from Marty is already gone. Shawn and Jannetty go at it because they’re former partners. Perfect: “They’re rocking now aren’t they?” They punch each other down and the British Bulldog is #29.

Smith goes right for Shawn because of what happened last year. I love little bits of continuity like that which you never get anymore. Davey puts out Marty as Fatu erupts on Austin before clotheslining him out off camera. Yankem puts out Fatu and here’s Duke Droese at #30. The final group is Shawn, Droese, Diesel, Smith, Yankem and Kama.

Smith and Michaels fight to the floor and Owen jumps Shawn for good measure. Shawn shrugs it off and goes in to dropkick Yankem out. Kama and Diesel put out Droese to get us down to four. Shawn clotheslines Smith out before skinning the cat back in. Diesel dumps Kama and Shawn superkicks the tall one (in the shoulder) out to win for the second year in a row at 58:49.

Rating: D. Oh this was DULL. The problem here was that like last year (although to a far weaker degree), there were very few guys you could buy as a winner here. It’s way better than last year’s match but the crowd was dead for long stretches of this, mainly due to boredom. You could see the star power of the future, but that’s the problem: they weren’t stars yet and no one bought them at this point. The match isn’t bad, but it’s definitely not good if that makes sense.

Diesel is ticked off about the ending and goes back in as Shawn is stripping. They do their old Wolfpac thing in the middle of the ring (a high five where Shawn has to jump) and all is cool. Shawn poses for a long time post match.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

Bret is defending and Undertaker is still in his skull mask period due to having Mabel crush his face a few months back. Diesel is still straggling behind and stares at Undertaker during his entrance. They brawl with neither guy getting much of an advantage. Since this is WWF, we recap what we just say two minutes ago. After all that, here’s the World Champion. Undertaker stands in the middle of the ring and Bret circles him for a bit. Hart pounds away in the corner and the Dead Man stares at him.

Undertaker LAUNCHES him into the corner (one of my favorite Undertaker spots) before choking him in the air). Off to a smother hold which goes on for a long time. Bret finally makes the rope so there’s Old School….which sets up the smother again. Hart fights up and hits a middle rope clothesline followed by a regular one to send Undertaker to the floor. There’s a dive to take out the challenger as this finally picks up the pace a bit.

Bret tries to dive off the apron at Undertaker but is pulled out of the air and rammed into the post. Undertaker rams him into various other things until Bret reverses a whip into the steps, trying to damage the big man’s knees. Back in and Bret works over the knee as this is going nowhere. The Figure Four goes on….and on…..and on……and Undertaker turns it over.

Bret gets to the rope, so let’s put on ANOTHER LEG HOLD! It’s that always riveting one where Bret drops an elbow on the leg and just lays on it. This is also known as the Dusty Rhodes Special. He does however mix it up by trying to take off Undertaker’s mask. After being in this for literally about three minutes, he smashes his free leg on Bret’s head before we head back to the floor. Undertaker chokes away with a cord and sends Bret into the barricade as we head back in.

The champ goes back to the freaking knee as the fans loudly boo Bret. Undertaker’s leg is wrapped around the post a few times and it’s back to laying on the leg. We’re over twenty minutes into this and almost nothing has happened. To save my sanity the hold doesn’t last as long this time and Undertaker fights back. There are some legdrops and a clothesline as the knee seems fine. He loads up the Tombstone but Bret slides down his back and guillotines Undertaker on the ropes.

A DDT puts Undertaker down and Bret starts headbutting the back. We get the Russian legsweep but the Dead Man sits up. The bulldog takes the challenger down and there’s the middle rope elbow. Bret gives the fans a thumbs down and loads up the Sharpshooter. Undertaker grabs him by the throat to block it but Bret knees him in the ribs. A double clothesline puts both guys down and we lay around a bit more.

Bret is up first and takes off the buckle from a corner. He goes for the mask again and gets it off to reveal….the same Undertaker we’ve seen for like five years at this point. Seriously he looks fine. Undertaker fights back but gets rammed into the exposed buckle. That gets no sold and it’s a Tombstone for Bret. Since this is such a dull match though, Diesel pulls the referee out at two for a DQ at 28:28.

Rating: D+. This started VERY slow but got better for the last ten minutes or so, but the ending brings it right back down again. If this had been a fifteen minute match or so it would have been WAY better, but they only had so many other matches on the card, meaning this had to be longer. Diesel would face Undertaker at Wrestlemania of course.

Gorilla Monsoon makes Diesel vs. Bret for the title at the next PPV.

Shawn says the 90s will be his time.

Undertaker comes in to yell at Gorilla, saying that Diesel won’t be champion on his watch. Gorilla makes it a cage match so Undertaker can’t interfere.

Diesel goes on a big rant about how he’s not afraid of the dark and says he’s going to have his hands in everything from now on because the WWF is running on Diesel Power. This was his official heel turn.

Cornette says Vader cannot be ignored to end the show. He pretty much was until Summerslam.

Overall Rating: D. This is a really weird show to grade because while most of the matches got bad grades, it’s not that bad of a show overall. Don’t get me wrong: it’s bad, but it’s really not as bad as it sounds. The first two matches are certainly watchable, but they’re not that good. The Rumble is also passable, but it’s dull at times. Not horrible, but definitely not worth seeing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

205 Live
Date: December 31, 2021
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph

It’s the very final WWE show of the year and since I’m not sure there really is a Best Of for the new 205 Live, we’re getting a regular show. Normally I would say there won’t be much of an audience for this given the time and date, but would it be that much different than the regular show? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Edris Enofe vs. Guru Raaj

Enofe flips out of a wristlock to start as we hear about Raaj missing a long time due to an injury. Raaj takes hm down by the arm but Enofe is back up with a standing hurricanrana. A nice fisherman’s suplex gets two on Raaj but he is right back with a monkey flip for the save. Enofe hits a middle rope elbow to the face for two more before planting Raaj with a spinebuster. A shooting star press, with Enofe taking his time in completing the rotation, finishes Raaj at 4:54.

Rating: C. It’s good to get Enofe a win and the shooting star, while scary, did look rather athletic. They were definitely looking like people fresh out of the Performance Center with the very basic offense, but now 205 Live is the next step in a WWE wrestler’s development. That should tell you a lot about some of WWE’s problems these days.

Amari Miller vs. Nikkita Lyons

Miller’s parents are in the crowd and this is Lyons’ debut. We hear about Lyons surviving as she grew up and her striking experience as she fights out of a wristlock to start. Lyons takes her down and we hit an early chinlock. A kick to the chest drops Miller and we hit the chinlock again. Miller is back up again with a gator roll into a spinning kick to the face. Something like a snapmare sends Lyons face first into Miller’s knee to give Miller the pin at 3:58.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what it says that I was relieved Miller didn’t lose in front of her parents, but that’s how WWE has conditioned me to think. Miller is someone with potential to become something one day, but that might not have been enough to overcome the powers of crushing someone’s spirit. Lyons looked decent as well, though you can only get so much out of a three minute match with two chinlocks.

Dante Chen vs. Draco Anthony

You might remember Chen as the guy whose one profile detail is being from Singapore. They go with the grappling to start and exchange some wristlocks. Chen takes over with some armdrags into an armbar but Anthony is back up with a dropkick. Anthony counters a dive with a t-bone suplex for two and it’s time to crank on Chen’s arms. That’s broken up as well and Chen hits some forearms to the face, followed by a pump kick. A vertical suplex version of Angel’s Wing Clipper (Dante’s Inferno according to Nigel) finishes Anthony at 5:29.

Rating: C. Another short and to the point match here, but egads they need SOMETHING else for Chen if they want him to become a player. His entire deal is “I’m from Singapore”. That might appeal to people from Singapore, but outside oft that, he isn’t the most thrilling participant. Anthony is someone who should feel like a bigger deal and just doesn’t, though losing to Chen isn’t helping things.

Overall Rating: C-. This show has already lost the little structure that it had when things changed over and now it is even worse. It’s rather sad seeing these people get their three minutes a week, because that is hardly going to do anything for developing their skills, but since WWE has changed everything all over again, this is about as good as it can be at the moment, no matter what.

Results
Edris Enofe b. Guru Raaj – Shooting star press
Amari Miller b. Nikkita Lyons – Faceplant onto the knee
Dante Chen b. Draco Anthony – Dante’s Inferno

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Make sure you check out some recent reviews:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 3, 2022
Location: Bon Secours Wellness Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the show after Day One and since it’s WWE, Brock Lesnar has now somehow become WWE Champion. Lesnar has been added to the fatal four way after his scheduled match with Roman Reigns was canceled due to Reigns testing positive for the Coronavirus. That means it’s time for a new direction so let’s get to it.

Here is Day One if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar winning the WWE Title on Saturday night.

Opening sequence.

We run down the card.

The lights go out and a rather happy looking Paul Heyman is in the ring. As an advocate, Heyman would like to introduce us to his client: the new WWE Champion, BROCK LESNAR! Here is Lesnar, who throws some steps in the ring so he can stand up and send good wishes to Roman Reigns. Lesnar: “Now, South Carolina, acknowledge me!” He thanks Heyman for all of his efforts to make the title win possible on Saturday.

Heyman: “You should see the things behind the scenes in WWE.” He is the one who made Lesnar a free agent and then got Lesnar into a title match. Tonight we have a fatal four way, starting with Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens, who want to work as a team. You have Rollins, who is a visionary, but he’s too stupid to know that his wife is leaving him after he wins the WWE Title. Who is she leaving him for? It won’t be Owens, because he can’t beat Lesnar either.

Maybe they should be traded to Smackdown for Roman Reigns, who is vulnerable without his special counsel. Heyman: “One week without his special counsel, Roman Reigns already has Corona.” Let’s talk about MVP….or not, because no one else is. Bobby Lashley is a worthy challenger and it’s true that the two of them have not met until last Saturday at Day One. That night, Lashley speared him in half and put Lesnar in the Hurt Lock, and as Heyman told Lesnar to his face, it didn’t look like Lesnar was getting out.

Those shots were all from behind though, but if Lashley wins tonight, he is going to face Lesnar one on one. Then there is Big E., who they have nothing against whatsoever. Big E. was an honorable champion and it would be an honor to beat Big E. Heyman: “You’re going to lose, but it would be an honor.” Heyman hasn’t lost a step as Lesnar’s mouthpiece and it felt like he had been dying to manage Lesnar again.

Riddle comes up to Randy Orton (ignore that he did this before the commercial and then left) and talks about meeting Migos at Day One. They should start their own rap group! Orton makes him hand over the sunglasses and gold chains before saying to remember their New Year’s resolution: listen to Randy more. This turns into a quick rap from Riddle and it’s time to go to the ring.

RKBro vs. Alpha Academy

Non-title. We see a recap of RKBro retaining over the Street Profits at Day One and come back to Chad Gable talking about his education. He calls Otis a tree trunk, which I believe Orton called Otis in their pre-match promo. Gable promises the title reign is about to end and the brawl is on before the bell, with Riddle being launched with a belly to belly.

We take a break and come back in progress with Gable suplexing Riddle (whose toenails are painted). Otis comes in with a gorilla press for two but Riddle manages to toss him away. A kick to the head looks to set up the hot tag but Gable pulls Orton off the apron. Otis splashes Riddle, who is right back with a running knee. The RKO is countered into a World’s Strongest Slam though and Riddle is done at 2:55.

Bobby Lashley says Brock Lesnar fears him.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Omos, from their debut through their breakup.

Omos puts his hand on an interviewer’s face and doesn’t seem to want to answer questions.

24/7 Title: Akira Tozawa/Tamina vs. Reggie/Dana Brooke

Brooke is defending and it’s not clear how she can lose the title here. The guys start things off and Tozawa accidentally kicks Tamina in the face. Tamina knocks him down and Reggie hits the running flipping seated senton for the pin at 1:16, retaining Brooke’s title. Brooke was never in the match.

We recap Becky Lynch surviving against Liv Morgan at Day One.

Here is Becky Lynch for a chat. Becky talks about how it is a new year and a lot of people think that means a new them. Their to do lists include “become the Raw Women’s Champion” but the top of hers says “remain Raw Women’s Champion”. She realizes that she has become a work of art and that makes her WWE’s Vincent Van Goat.

Becky hates to break it to you, but you’re not losing that ten pounds or getting that promotion. As for everyone in the back, including Liv Morgan, you’re not taking this title from her. Cue Liv Morgan to insult Becky’s jacket (Becky: “I like this jacket.”) and call her delusional. No one is harder on Liv than herself and she will never give up on her dream.

Cue Bianca Belair to say Liv isn’t the EST so Becky mocks both of them. Liv calls out Becky for not being in the women’s locker room in years but Belair cuts Liv off. Becky tells them to figure this out one on one but they jump Becky instead. Belair and Liv fight until Becky breaks it up and leaves them laying. So Becky has beaten them both more than once and now she beat them both up at once. What a way to make me care about the likely title match.

Kevin Owens comes up to Seth Rollins and says they can work together tonight and then take the title from Brock Lesnar. It doesn’t matter who wins, because then they can fight for the title at Wrestlemania. Rollins loves the plan because they can trust each other. Rollins leaves and Owens asks if he’s lying.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Rhea Ripley/Nikki Ash vs. Queen Zelina/Carmella

Carmella/Vega are defending. Ripley suplexes Vega down to start and it’s off to Nikki to take her down again. Vega comes back with a knockdown of her own into a chinlock. Nikki fights up but Vega grabs a cradle to retain at 2:34.

Johnny Knoxville is going to be in the Royal Rumble.

Street Profits vs. Apollo Crews/Commander Azeez

Before the match, the Profits officially enter the Royal Rumble (as do the Mysterios in another backstage promo). Ford strikes away at Azeez to start and gets shouldered out of the air for his efforts. A jumping enziguri staggers Azeez though and it’s off to Dawkins to elbow Crews in the face. The Silencer gets two with Azeez breaking up the cover, only to get low bridged to the floor. Azeez pulls Dawkins outside but gets posted, leaving Crews to enziguri Dawkins. Ford makes a blind tag though and it’s the Anointment into the frog splash to finish Crews at 2:19.

We’re halfway through the show and have had about nine minutes of wrestling so far.

Damian Priest is ready to retain the US Title and won’t lose his cool.

Doudrop isn’t happy with being left out of the #1 contenders match because everyone is sick of the same women getting chance after chance. Sonya Deville makes a triple threat with Doudrop, Liv Morgan and Bianca Belair with the winner getting the shot at Becky Lynch at the Royal Rumble.

US Title: Damian Priest vs. Dolph Ziggler

Priest is defending and loses the title if he gets disqualified or counted out. Ziggler gets launched into the corner for some right hands to the face but Priest pulls back before the DQ. They head outside, where Ziggler hits a tornado DDT on the floor and we take a break. Back with Ziggler taking Priest down with a running knee for two. I’m not sure why that’s described as “offensive creativity” but I don’t want to know how WWE announcers think/are told to think.

Priest kicks him down and goes up top, where Ziggler catches him but can’t hit a superplex. Instead Priest scores with another kick to the face, only to have Robert Roode trip Priest down. The Fameasser gives Ziggler two so Priest goes after Roode, but can’t bring himself to use the chair. Back in and Priest teases going after Ziggler with the chair but he hits Roode instead. The Zig Zag gets two so Ziggler tries a superkick, only to get countered into the Reckoning to retain Priest’s title at 9:23.

Rating: C. That’s the match of the night by about a mile and that does not say much. They did have me thinking the title might change hands, but thankfully they kept their senses and didn’t do a completely insane change. Priest needs to get back to being the cool rockstar type, but I think they’re locked in with this RAGE deal.

Austin Theory comes up to Vince McMahon and accidentally interrupts his phone call. Vince doesn’t like Theory apologizing but Theory is here about his rematch with Finn Balor. That doesn’t work for Vince, who puts Theory in the Royal Rumble. Theory is amazed, as am I by the amount of camera cuts needed for a minute and a half of two people standing together talking.

Here are Miz/Maryse for a chat (after a commercial/video on Miz vs. Edge, with Beth Phoenix returning to chase off Maryse). Miz talks about how Edge needed Phoenix to bail him out at Day One because he was a scared little boy. We see last week’s Brood Bath but Miz says true love like theirs will always win. After the wedding vows, Miz vowed to end Edge once and for all.

Miz asks what kind of man would need his wife to protect him, but what kind of man would do that? Maryse talks about how awesome Miz is and says she would punch Phoenix in the face if she was here. Cue Edge and Phoenix for the couples pose so Miz and Maryse back off. Edge: “Figures.” Edge talks about how scared he knows they are and throws out the challenge for the mixed tag.

Miz talks about Maryse’s moisturizer line so Phoenix asks what it’s going to be. Miz accepts so Maryse freaks out and falls down a the threat of Phoenix’s right hand. Maryse storms off and Miz chases after her, trying to talk his way out of this. Beth’s rather odd hair style aside, this was a rather fast way to get to the obvious next step.

Big E. isn’t happy with the loss but it’s time to start getting the title back.

AJ Styles vs. Omos

AJ goes right after him to start before bailing outside when Omos pushes him around. Back in and Omos kicks him in the face to send AJ right back to the floor. A posting rocks Styles again but he comes back in with the Phenomenal Blitz. The Phenomenal Forearm is caught but AJ snaps his throat across the top rope. Another Phenomenal Forearm attempt is swatted out of the air and a gorilla press drop makes it worse. The double chokeslam finishes Styles at 3:47.

Rating: D+. That wasn’t exactly good but it was far from some tragedy unfolding before our eyes. Omos mostly stood still and knocked AJ around, which is exactly what he should be doing. There is no reason for him to do anything more than use his size and power to crush AJ and that’s what he did here. It wasn’t an exciting match or technically sound, but it’s how they should have done things.

Alexa Bliss is…going to be on her way back to Raw next week. As in we will see her on the way back.

Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins vs. Big E. vs. Bobby Lashley

One fall to a finish and the winner gets Brock Lesnar for the title at the Rumble. It’s a brawl to start with Lashley sending Rollins into the post and Owens being taken down. Big E. and Lashley are left in the ring to slug it out with Lashley getting the better of things. A suplex drops Big E. so Lashley goes outside, only to miss a spear through the barricade. Big E. is back up with a suplex to Rollins but Owens makes the save.

There’s a posting for Big E. and Owens buries Lashley underneath the barricade. A Shield style powerbomb puts Big E. through the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back with Owens and Rollins in control but Lashley and Big E. get up, with the chase going into the crowd. They wind up in the concourse where Lashley Hurt Locks Rollins. Owens breaks it up with a trashcan lid so he gets put through a t-shirt table as we take another break.

Back again with the fight still in the crowd but Owens dives off a balcony to take everyone down. They get back inside, where Lashley saves Big E. and starts firing off suplexes. Lashley runs through Rollins, leaving Owens to get speared, sending Lashley to the Rumble at 18:04.

Rating: B. I don’t have many complaints here. The match got time, they had a fun brawl (we’ll ignore that it might not be a good idea to be in the stands during a pandemic) that actually felt different and even protected Big E. while giving us the right winner. It’s the best thing all night by a mile, which isn’t saying much, but it did work.

Brock Lesnar is in the back and says tell Roman Reigns he’ll see him on Smackdown.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t know what they were going for here but this show really didn’t work. Above all else, it felt like they were trying to stretch the show out because they didn’t have anything to put out there, but then it took over an hour and a half for a match to break three minutes. This show was all over the place and while the main event was good, it wasn’t enough to overcome the string of short matches that didn’t really advance anything and weren’t good in the first place. I didn’t get this show and hopefully they can get back to something closer to normal next week.

Results
Alpha Academy b. RKBro – World’s Strongest Slam to Riddle
Reggie/Dana Brooke b. Tamina/Akira Tozawa – Flipping seated senton to Tozawa
Queen Zelina/Carmella b. Rhea Ripley/Nikki Ash – Rollup to Ash
Street Profits b. Apollo Crews/Commander Azeez – Frog splash to Crews
Damian Priest b. Dolph Ziggler – Reckoning
Omos b. AJ Styles – Chokeslam
Bobby Lashley b. Big E., Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins – Spear to Owens

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