Survivor Series 1994
Date: November 23, 1994
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Gorilla Monsoon

Given that commentary team, I’m a bit worried. Your main match here is Taker vs. Yoko in a rematch of the Rumble’s casket match where something like 10 guys beat up Taker and caused him to be taken out of the company for about three or four months. Tonight the guest referee is Chuck Norris. Nope I’m not making that up and I guarantee there will be a ton of jokes about it.

Other than that we have Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund for the WWF Title which is an I Quit match where someone has to throw in the towel for you, which is how Backlund lost the title back in the early 80s. Other than that we have three Survivor Series matches which don’t look very appealing.

I think they finally got the balance right here with two singles matches that were huge and the rest were traditional matches. It looks ok on paper and since this is my second time reviewing it, I know it’s at least pretty good. Let’s see if it’s as good as it was four days ago.

We open with clips of all the teams getting pep talks from their leaders. Shawn is very cocky, which would come into play later on. Lawler is the only captain that doesn’t want a camera on these meetings. Since we’re in Texas, everyone is wearing a cowboy hat. Oh how I love these theme PPVs.

The announcers run down the card with Gorilla not being able to get a word in. Yep it’s going to be one of those kinds of nights. As Fink introduces the first team, he’s really hard to understand. If I didn’t know what to listen for I’d be completely lost here.

Teamsters vs. Bad Guys

Teamsters: Shawn Michaels, Diesel, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jeff Jarrett

Bad Guys: Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, British Bulldog, Fatu, Sionne

Sionne is the Barbarian replacing Samu. Your feuds line up like this: Razor vs. Diesel, since Razor took the IC belt from him about a month or so prior to this. That’s about it really. Oh Bulldog is there because of Owen and Neidhart. Other than that, yeah there’s no feuds or drama going on at all that I can remember. On the way to the ring, Shawn dives in front of Diesel to be in the spotlight. They’re tag champions at the time. Oh that’s right.

They took the belts from the Headshrinkers so that’s at least most of the team. Vince says that Survivor Series only comes once a year. Well yeah so does every other day of the year but we don’t have a freaking PPV for it. Although I have a feeling that if Vince could get away with it he’d try to. Gorilla trying to sound like a cowboy is rather amusing. Vince and Gorilla argue over who the captain is. Shawn is really turning into the heel that he would become famous as.

Gorilla is once again glad he retired. Did this guy hate his career or something? In a running story of this match, Fatu is having trouble with his new boots. He was barefoot for years and apparently wearing boots is a plot point to a match now. Yep that makes great sense. They mention that they can’t find Jarrett’s new CD anywhere as Gorilla continues his love affair with kayfabe.

You know, Barbarian really wasn’t that bad of a worker. He had more or less the same gimmick with a few minor tweaks for his entire career and he always managed to find work. Sure he’s generic but he stuck with his stuff and he got steady work out of it. That’s really all you can ask for isn’t it? We get Owen vs. Bulldog which is of course great. Owen is now the Rocket King. Yeah that’s not a weird name at all.

If there has ever been a match of two guys that could have been world champion but never could pull it off, this is it. Bulldog does that delayed suplex on Anvil which is rather impressive. The faces have momentum so naturally, they stop things dead for another foot issue with Fatu. Jarrett and Razor go at it for awhile, which was a very good feud actually.

Shawn’s hair is ridiculously short here. He almost looks like Rick Rude if that tells you anything. Jarrett really was good in the ring. For some reason people never took to him as a superstar. I think it was the singing thing. It’s sad to hear Gorilla not be able to get more than a few lines in at a time. Vince insists that he is the best commentator of all time and he’s going to make sure you know it too.

The heels do a lot of harmless standard stuff on the Kid that isn’t really interesting at all. Diesel finally comes in and within two and a half minutes he’s eliminated everyone but Razor. It’s three jackknives and a shot that leads to a count out. That makes it 5-1 with Razor being the only guy left. As you can tell Diesel is an absolute freak at this point in time. Shawn yells at Diesel to stay in the match.

Razor is beating Diesel who to be fair is worn out at this point since he can’t buy a tag. Diesel hits the jackknife and Razor is dead. Shawn gets in for the first time and he wants Razor held up for the kick. You know what’s coming here and yep, Shawn kicks Diesel. Now the cool part: Diesel doesn’t go down. He goes to one knee, but the kick doesn’t knock him completely down. Diesel is PISSED. He goes after Shawn who runs.

The rest of his team tries to calm him down with Owen and Jarrett screaming that they need to get back before they lose. Shawn gets counted out and apparently that’s enough to eliminate all five guys and yes, Razor wins like that. Ok, let’s see why this is stupid. Number one, only Shawn was legal. If he’s the only one legal, then another ten count should have started up. Now if no one else got in before that, then sure it’s a count out.

Also, if Jarrett and Hart were so worried, why didn’t one of them run back? That would at least have made sense. This was just an odd ending. No scratch that. It was a freaking stupid ending. What was the plan here? Was this supposed to be intelligent?

To be fair though, this really did look cool and was a good face turn as this was I think the third time that this had happened. The people were getting behind Diesel at the time and they pulled the trigger on him at the perfect time. Even the fans don’t sound thrilled about Razor, the biggest face in the match, winning like this though. That’s just never a good sign.

Rating: C-. It was ok at best before Diesel got in there but then he stole the show. This was a rollercoaster of a match with no eliminations for 13 minutes then four in less than three then five at once. That’s a bit too much over the top stuff for my taste. The in ring work was solid, but this was just for Shawn and Diesel and the face turn, so that’s all fine and good I guess. It wasn’t bad, but this could have been better. I’m just not sure how.

Todd is in the back with Pettingill as he’s leaving the arena. He says that he made Diesel and that he got stabbed in the back. He throws down the belt thereby vacating them and drives off as Vince tells Todd that Diesel is on the way. Ok wait. First of all, why is Vince telling Todd this? Couldn’t it just have gone to Todd?

I know Vince likes to be involved in everything but this is ridiculous. Second, Shawn had time to get his bag, stop to talk to Todd, walk with Todd, get in his car, talk to Todd more, and Diesel was just on his way? Did he stop to have a taco or something?

Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us

Royal Family: Jerry Lawler, Cheesy, Queasy, Sleazy

Clowns R Us: Doink, Dink, Wink, Pink

Yes this is a midget match. They have three guys that look like them and yeah, that’s about it. Lawler is borderline abusive to his guys though. Since this match completely sucks, here’s the short version: Doink and Lawler do maybe a single move and then the small guys run in for a comedy spot. It’s high class stuff like running over and making faces at the other team and then running back to their corner. Yep it’s one of those kinds of matches.

The commentators imply that the kings are kids, despite them having FACIAL HAIR. To prove the stupidity of this match, the announcers point out that when one of the big guys is pinned, the guy that pins him is in essence eliminated too since it can only be big vs. big and little vs. little. This comedy stuff goes on for about ten minutes. That’s just freaking stupid. The holds and moves they do are things like armbars and wristlocks too.

While they’re on the mat, the guys run back and forth and all six run over Lawler. I wish I had a gun so I could shoot either myself or the screen. And now the six all run over Doink. All this is done to make faces at each other. Yes I hate this match quite a bit. Why do we always have to have these comedy matches? There’s never a point to them and only Vince likes them. I hate this so much. Oh look, it’s a Burger King crown. This is just so funny. How did Lawler get here? He had a career.

Dink wants to fight Lawler, so he gets on Doink’s shoulders. Lawler counters by getting on one of the small king’s shoulders. I’ll give you two guesses as to how this goes. It’s been only the two big guys the whole match. We get a random Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade ad as apparently the WWF has a part of a float. I don’t care either. As we get a test of strength, it’s a double criss cross by the midgets. Take me now.

One of them gives Lawler an object and he nails Doink. You would think that would be the pin but nope, it’s time for more comedy. I feel like I’m at a bad circus. Instead Doink goes on offense and it takes a reversed cross body to eliminate him. Over the next five minutes it’s the clowns getting beaten after cheating from Lawler. Of this whole thing, only Dink is actually entertaining.

His offense makes sense, he’s energetic, he plays to the crowd and he’s not boring. That’s such a nice change of pace. Of course Lawler’s team gets the clean sweep. Afterwards he takes credit for the whole thing and all six guys come after him which is just rather stupid. To end this awfulness, Doink comes back and pies Lawler. Yep, that’s how it ends.

Rating: G. That’s below an F. That sums it up I’d think. Dink gets a passing grade. He was actually really fun and entertaining. That might be because it was actual wrestling, but I could be wrong.

We hear about the Women’s Title change three days ago in Japan where Alundra Blayze lost to Bull Nakano. I haven’t seen it but from what I’ve heard it was a great one. Wouldn’t it be great to either see the match or a rematch or something instead of what we just sat through? Nope apparently that wasn’t good enough though, so instead we have Lawler getting pied by a clown. Nakano is here, so why can’t we have the match? I hate Vince at times.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

The deal here is that Backlund says that since he never gave up in 83, he never should have lost the title and therefore has had a 13 year title reign (he had the belt for two years when he lost it). He also says there’s no counter for the Cross Face Chicken Wing while Hart says that everything has a counter. Owen and Bulldog are the respective seconds and one of them have to throw in the towel to get the win.

Both have sworn they won’t do it. By those rules, regular submissions don’t count so you can give up all you want and it won’t count. That….is kind of stupid. They start out rather hot and fast which would be the peak of that aspect of the match. Bret uses a heabutt a lot. Has he ever gotten hurt using one of those? Not that I remember at least. We’re already on the mat as they actually compare the resumes of these two, and I think Backlund is slightly in the lead.

Six years as world champion is very hard to ignore. They mention a poll that was taken and 79% say that the Chicken Wing is the better hold? Gorilla, much like myself, refuses to believe that. They’re doing a very slow start here as Stu and Helen are watching from ringside. This is a bit odd as Bret will do…HOLY CRAP! Bret put on the abdominal stretch and Monsoon DIDN’T COMPLAIN!

That has never happened before and will likely never happen again. Dang I need a stiff drink after that. Orange juice will do fine. Anyway, as I was saying before I had my heart attack, Bret is doing a bunch of submission stuff and then Backlund will go for the chicken wing. That’s a bit of a cool idea I think with Bret being the master of all submissions and Bob being the guy with one big home run hitting move that he knows will win him the title if he can get it.

The impressive thing here though is that Bob is not only hanging with Bret here but at times flat out beating him. That’s saying a lot for someone that wasn’t a regular wrestler for years on end. Vince says that Bret doesn’t know how to submit. How amusing is it that he says this about Bret at the Survivor Series? Apparently Vince is right here though since Bret never did give up.

It never ceases to amaze me how much a few years can change things and how ironic so many of these lines would eventually become and now are in hindsight. Now for a nice change of pace, Backlund does a lot of mat work on Bret. He works over his arm, which makes sense for a change. Bret hits the post shoulder first in one of the most time honored bumps ever. That’s been used for years and it still works to this day.

Bret keeps trying to make his comebacks but Bob keeps taking him down, seemingly with ease. That’s the mark of a great wrestler: he can do his stuff and make it look easy. Now we get to what is likely the stupidest part of the match as Bret makes his traditional comeback and puts on his other submission hold: the figure four. Now this is fine, but Backlund gives up. However, the match doesn’t end because Owen refuses to throw in the towel.

So in other words, Bret has won the submission match, but he didn’t do it properly? Yeah that just sounds stupid. IN other words, you could just get some jerk to be the towel guy and then break your opponent’s leg or something, but since the towel isn’t thrown in it means nothing? Yeah that makes great sense.

I have to give the fans this: for a match that’s about 90% mat work, they’re staying interested. Hopefully this Sunday at Breaking Point (this is Thursday, three days before that), that’s what happens too. Backlund manages to reverse it for all of a minute. Bret gets ready for the Sharpshooter but Bob is back in it. Oh never mind no he’s not. Gorilla is finally able to talk a bit as Backlund actually wins a fist fight here. He’s quite underrated.

He follows it with a piledriver as I’m impressed by this guy. Bob works on the arm even more and the selling from Bret is great as he looks like he’s in agony. The fans are actually still in this too, which makes me feel better than they could actually get into very old school style like this. This is practically out of the 50s or 60s. Anyway, after another three minutes or so of getting beaten on, Bret makes probably his third comeback and gets the Sharpshooter, but Owen runs in for the save.

Now imagine Hart being in the same hold that long. The thing is, the fans are going to be rather bored when you think about it. Actually maybe not. Two things are going to happen here. First of all, people are going to start thinking that there’s no way that Bret is going to lose. Second, with every passing second that goes by, the people start thinking that any second now it’s going to happen, and that build up even more tension.

That is actually something close to brilliant when you think about it. After the first four minutes or so, Owen begins pleading with his family to save Bret and saying that he didn’t mean for this to happen. Ok wait a minute. If Owen is trying to get his parents to throw in the towel, doesn’t that mean that it doesn’t have to be the predetermined towel thrower?

Ok that’s all fine. However, if that’s the case, why can’t Owen just throw it in himself? Wouldn’t that make a lot more sense? Maybe because he’s the other thrower he can’t do that? That actually makes sense because if that was allowed then it would be like a Vince Russo match with one person having to throw in the other towel first to lose. But wait, if anyone can do it, why not just have a big gang come out and take the towel from Davey and throw it in?

See why I’m not a fan of this era’s booking? It has holes in it that you could drive a truck through. Anyway, Stu keeps saying no way while Helen is on the verge of screaming. Owen begs and begs, eventually getting down on his knees. As a credit to Bret, even though he’s been in this thing nearly ten minutes, the whole time he’s been trying to roll around and move a bit so that it’s not just him laying there.

That’s the mark of a great worker: the main story is on the floor because as evidenced earlier, the wrestlers can give up all they want but the towel has to be thrown in to end the match. Bret could literally lay there forever and it would have fit the rules of the match perfectly.

However, he realized that it was better to at least look like he was trying, which makes the match more believable, despite the focus not being on him at all. That’s a very nice little touch and another reason why Bret is better than you, along with getting to screw 20 year old Sunny. That makes him divine.

While this is all happening, including the pleading from Owen, Bulldog is still out like a light. He hasn’t moved in like 10 minutes and no one has come to help him. You can see him laying there out cold behind Stu while Owen is freaking out. Only in the WWF could an employee lay on the floor for that long and have no help given to him at all. Also, I think Stu has lost some age in the past year.

He looks MUCH better than he did the year before. Last year he looked like he was about 90. Now he could pass for 60 or so. That’s rather impressive. Dang he’s 79 years old at this point. I’m impressed indeed. Anyway, Helen can’t take anymore and snatches the towel away from Stu to throw it in and give Backlund the title as the fans are a combination of stunned and PISSED, but more of the former.

Bob freaking Backlund just won the world title. However, the more important thing is that as soon as they throw the towel in, Owen jumps to his feet cheering before sprinting to the back pumping his fist, revealing it was the greatest acting job since a diva had to act like Vince was hot. Bret deserves an award here for the selling. It’s amazingly great. We now get the awesomeness that is the celebration of Backlund’s victory.

He is euphoric over winning here, holding his hands up in the air and with the belt around his waist. It’s so simple but his facial expressions shove this to such a high level of awesomeness that it’s insane. Since it goes with it, I’ll include Owen’s interview as part of this. As we cut to the back, the look on the face of Owen is amazing as well.

See what happens when you give the best workers the best storylines? You get great material. Anyway, Owen admits that it was all a setup and that this is the greatest day of his life, since he’s going to get all of the titles and that he’ll never quit. His face here is mind blowingly awesome. That whole thing was epic.

Rating: A. The only thing keeping this from an A+ is some of the holes in the booking, but this was magnificent. However, I could very easily see how some people wouldn’t be into this. It’s very hit or miss and while I and most of the other old school fans would love this, a lot of people wouldn’t get why it’s great and for once, I’m perfectly fine with that. It’s not something that everyone can get into and that’s fine.

It’s a very different style than any of us are used to since it’s such an old school style. It’s the epitome of hit or miss with people likely either loving it completely or wanting a hatchet to cut out their eyes so they will be less bored. However, the stuff at the end is almost impossible to love. The emotions and acting here are top notch and the whole 45 minute plus (yes it’s that long) segment is just amazing to me, but like I said, if you disagree here, I understand for a change.

Now since I doubt most of you remember Backlund’s reign, I thought you might like to see how it ends. This is four days after Survivor Series in Madison Square Garden.

Backlund then crawled up the aisle to leave. He made Nash look like a god and it worked beautifully. However, later on he complained about how Nash took the celebration too far and didn’t show him enough respect. Dude, you’re 45 years old and more or less a novelty act who got beat in 8 seconds so that they could save Nash vs. Hart. Get over your hall of fame self.

Vince and Gorilla can’t believe it. Vince booked it, why couldn’t he believe it?

Guts N Glory vs. Million Dollar Team

Guts N Glory: Lex Luger, Mabel, Adam Bomb, Smoking Guns

Million Dollar Team: King Kong Bundy, Tatanka, Bam Bam Bigelow, Heavenly Bodies

Bundy isn’t really the captain. He’s just listed first here. I don’t think there actually was one here. This was the tail end of the awesome Tatanka vs. Luger feud, which kick started at Summerslam. The idea was simple: Tatanka and just about everyone else on the planet thought Luger had sold out to DiBiase, but there was no concrete proof. Basically DiBiase kept helping Luger, but there was never anything for sure.

Tatanka kept saying Luger did it, but Luger denied it. This led to a match at Summerslam, where in reality Tatanka was the one that had sold out all along. It was a lot better than it sounds here and that’s your main basis for this match. It’s really more DiBiase vs. Luger, but Luger had to get his army of lower midcard faces to help him out so here we are. Have I ever mentioned that I absolutely hate Men on a Mission? I absolutely loathe them.

Mo isn’t here for this, but we still get Mabel and Oscar, making M.O. out of them, so in a weird way we have all three of them. Yeah that was stupid. Luger and Tatanka start here as Vince recaps everything I just said. I beat Vince to it. Take that you old man. While Luger is getting chopped, Mable raises the roof on the apron, showing the cutting edge intellectual capacity he brings to this team. They somehow botch a clothesline where Luger hits him in the back of the head.

Pritchard comes in but before Luger kills him we get Mabel vs. Bundy. Please take me now. Wait apparently no we don’t. Ok so wait, Mabel came in and challenged Bundy, then stepped out just to come back in. Yeah I hate this match already. The crowd chants Whoop there it is. Bundy is out in less than ten seconds and Pritchard comes back in. Since he’s tiny and Mable has his own gravitational pull, this is going to be quick.

He goes to the second rope and hits a freaking CROSS BODY BLOCK onto Pritchard to kill him completely. Vince botches the call by saying that the Gigolo calls himself Del Ray. Is anyone else getting a migraine? I know I am. Somehow for the third time in four minutes we have Bundy vs. Mable. Just make the porn version already and end this stupid thing. You know that Vince would do it too if he thought it would make money.

Yep I’ll have that image in my head for the rest of the show, and somehow it’s less stupid than this. Amazingly, this showdown is awful. Let’s go to Bigelow. He has that pesky thing called talent though so he just doesn’t fit in here at all. He goes for an enziguri which misses but Mabel tries a spin kick. I would say hits, but he literally misses by at least 10 inches. I mean this was awful. The fans loudly groaned at the sight of it.

I have to finish it. I have to finish it. I have to finish it. This HAS to improve. I don’t think it can actually get worse. They both go to the floor so they can lay there for awhile since it’s past their nap times. They have to stop for one an hour after they eat. They take a lot of naps.

Mabel gets counted out as Bigelow beats the count. Somehow that fat tub of goo would be the King of the Ring and top heel within 8 months. Vince must have been on the REALLY GOOD crack at this time. Or maybe he didn’t have any in him at all and that’s what caused all this. So now we have Del Ray vs. Billy Gunn. Somehow, this is better. Read who’s in there, and think about that for a minute.

Now we shift to Bomb vs. Bigelow and Adam hits that SWEET slingshot clothesline of his. Dang I love that move. He dominates just like he would do against Mabel at In Your House but after one shot from Bundy, Bigelow puts him down and moonsaults him out of it. I’ve always hated when a guy gets hit with one shot and since it’s from behind, it’s a knockout shot. What’s the deal with that? Del Ray hits two sweet superkicks that do nothing at all.

However, after a standard illegal elbow, he’s gone to Luger. Good to see that some things never chance. The Guns beat on Tatanka for the better part of ever and it’s just barely interesting. They were just such a worthless team. You can tell they’re real cowboys though. They’re wearing khakis. Yep the Beautiful People match is certainly more interesting, especially with those shots of Velvet’s figure. Dang.

Anyway, Bart goes for a crucifix and gets caught in the End of the Trail, which is apparently the name of Tatanka’s finishing move. Forget that it’s the Papoose To Go. We’re 4-2 now with the excellent team of Billy Gunn and Lex Luger against the four heels. Oh this isn’t going to be pleasant. I really can’t stand Vince saying YES NO! Is he really that impatience? A splash ends Billy, making it AMERICA vs. four. Oh boy I can barely contain my excitement.

As I look at my clock, we’ve been at this beatdown for six minutes now. Oh joy indeed. Why do I need to see Luger get beaten up that long? Wait, that might mean an injury which means him off TV. BLAST HIM WITH EVERY FREAKING THING YOU’VE GOT PEOPLE! Our ot nowhere Luger rolls him up for the pin and then literally lays there on the ground while Bundy gets ready for the splash.

It was without a doubt the worst looking thing I’ve ever seen in a match like this. That’s the end and the heels celebrate before beating on Luger forever. The faces finally run out for the save. I guess they wanted to see the annoying one get beaten on too. This segment just went on forever.

Rating: C-. I know I blasted this match a lot, but for some reason by the end it wasn’t horrible. I think it was the faces losing clean that fixed a lot of this. That’s what the match should have been: the heels getting a clean win which is something that hardly ever happens. It’s a match where the pieces don’t add up to what you get at the end, which is a good thing.

Backlund has a press conference to talk about how he’ll be a role model. Yep for all of three days.

Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

Before this, we have the debut of the deity himself, Chuck Norris. He’s the guest referee tonight, which shouldn’t be a problem for him. He can certainly count to ten. He counted to infinity twice, so ten is easy. He’s there to keep people from coming out to beat up Taker. That’s a good idea, since he’s so strong that he never does push-ups. He simply pushes the world down. After two of the slowest intros ever, it’s time to go.

Before the match even begins, we can already see the problem here: no one believes Yoko has a chance, and he doesn’t. Yoko can’t really do anything to Taker so Taker starts beating on him. The managers interfere to turn the momentum over. Yeah that doesn’t work. Momentum implies movement, and I don’t think they’ve actually moved in this match. They’re just so freaking slow. Now with Taker it makes sense, but with Yoko it’s just due to fatness.

He took some time off after this match and came back even bigger. That can’t be good. Anyway, Norris is mostly just window dressing for the majority of this match. He’s shown a few times standing there. Dang I ran out of jokes for a minute. I’ll make up for it later. Eventually Bigelow and Bundy come out and yell at him, leading to IRS running in and nailing Taker then putting him in a sleeper.

Taker would feud with DiBiase’s team until I think the following Summerslam, so yeah that went on way too long. The fat guys don’t do anything to Norris, and I can’t blame them. After all when the Boogeyman goes to bed at night he checks the closet for Chuck Norris. I’d be afraid too. So yeah, the rest is rather predictable, as has been the first part of the match. Yoko keeps trying but at the last second Taker rises up. The lack of drama is freaking killing this match.

It’s clear that no one believes Yoko has a chance. It’s fine to want to send the fans home happy, but at least try to build some drama. At least make Yoko look like he has a snowball’s chance out there. For no good reason, Jarrett comes out and Norris kicks him in the chest. Well that was rather pointless.

Yoko gets kicked into the casket to end it. I know that’s really lackluster, but seriously there was just nothing else to say about it. It was just as you would expect it to be: not that interesting, slow, and completely lacking in drama. This was pretty bad.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was bad. As I’ve said a million times, the best thing a match can do is have you guessing who is going to win. There was absolutely zero doubt here who the winner would be. It’s a great sign when you know who the winner is going in and they get you caught up in it anyway.

For a great example, see Taker vs. Shawn. We knew Taker would win, but it got us going anyway. As for this, Norris was the big celebrity of the show and he did what he was supposed to do: beat up a midcard guy. It was ok for a pointless main event, but this wasn’t interesting at all.

Overall Rating: C-. This is about as back and forth of a show as you’re ever going to find. The first match is ok, the second is beyond awful, the third is great, the fourth is ok, and the last is awful. Also, a LOT of people will disagree on the title match, and like I said before I’m fine with that. It’s a tricky one to call and it really depends on your taste as a fan. I loved it, and for me it almost carries this show. Overall, the show is certainly watchable, but it’s forgettable.

The title change that mattered was the following weekend so this one meant little. Other than that, it’s a very forgettable show. Taker won the feud as he always did, there was an awful match, Luger managed to blow another one, and there was an ok opener. Seriously, nothing here stands out. It’s ok if you’re really bored and just want to kill about 3 hours, but don’t go out of your way.

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205 Live
Date: October 29, 2021
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

It’s time for more of the NXT B show and that sounds good enough to me. I’m still wondering if they are going to change the name though, as we are now in a rare case where every single thing about the show’s title is completely inaccurate. It takes something special to pull that off and a new name would make sense. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Boa vs. Jeet Rama

Mei Ying is here with Boa. Feeling out process to start until Rama takes him down to the mat with a headlock takeover. Back up and some armdrags have Boa in more trouble and even out on the floor for a breather. Boa gets back in and hits a few shots to the face in the corner, setting up the chinlock. A neckbreaker gets two on Rama, followed by a shot to the throat for the same. It’s off to a figure four necklock but Rama fights up and hits some rolling gutwrench suplexes. Boa escapes a powerslam though and grabs a reverse layout DDT for the pin at 5:39.

Rating: C-. Just a match here without much else to be said. Boa continues to be one of the people who is around at least semi regularly but that does not exactly make him interesting. Rama is someone who could go a little somewhere with some more development but this is about his peak at the moment.

Sarray vs. Katarina Cortez

Man Sarray has just not caught on. The fans are behind Sarray to start and they fight over a test of strength to get going. Sarray gets the better of things but gets flipped over, setting up a double bridge up. A double stomp rocks Cortez but she goes for the tape on Sarray’s back to take over.

The camel clutch goes on until Sarray makes the rope, meaning Cortez busts out a rocking horse to stay on Sarray’s back. The double arm crank has Sarray in more trouble but she’s out in a hurry. A hard half crab keeps Cortez down, followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two. Sarray’s middle rope dropkick gets the same and the running dropkick against the ropes (I’m surprised she can still use that) finishes Cortez at 5:59.

Rating: C. Sarray is someone who has most of the tools to be a star but it hasn’t clicked yet. It’s not like the women’s division couldn’t use the help, but for some reason the only noteworthy thing about her is that dropkick. Cortez is good enough in the ring, but she needs a good bit more development.

Sarray checks on Cortez after the match. Maybe not kicking her in the face would be a bit nicer.

Xyon Quinn vs. Ru Feng

They stare each other down to start as Nigel refers to Quinn as a Samoan ghost. Quinn powers out of a top wristlock but gets headlocked down instead. A snap suplex gives Feng one but Quinn is back up with….I think it was a botched leapfrog but he tried to turn it into a leg lariat but had to settle for something like a Sling Blade (we’ll go with bad and leave it at that). Quinn hammers him down and finishes with the running elbow for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t awful, but that botch in the middle is all that is going to stand out in the whole thing. There’s only so much you can do when you have less than four minutes and one of the biggest things was a mistake. I like Quinn a lot and I’m sure he’ll be fine, as it means a bit to be in the featured spot here.

Overall Rating: C-. Much like the old days of 205 Live, it’s hard to really get annoyed at a show that is over in 28 minutes and includes a bunch of advertisements in addition to three matches. This show knows how to get in and out without overstaying its welcome, but it still isn’t great stuff a lot of time time. That being said, these wrestlers need whatever ring time they can so putting them on this far less watched show is a good idea.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 4, 2007
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with One Night Stand and on the way to the Draft, followed by Vengeance. That could make for an interesting few weeks, but I don’t think it’s going to make for a great time this week. This very well could be a lame duck show, which is not something WWE tends to do well. Let’s get to it.

Here is One Night Stand if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. Cena listens to the mixed reaction and says this is what he loves about WWE. He thanks everyone who came to the show tonight, from the fat guy booing up there to the hot chick in the top two sizes too small (Cena: “THANK YOU FOR COMING TONIGHT!”). Cena thinks it’s a little bit louder this week though because after six weeks of getting beaten up, the 7’5 giant has been told FU.

It’s more of the same around here, because he thinks he’s in the clear and now they’re springing the Draft on him. He has been drafted before so this might be the last time he is in the ring as part of Raw. If that’s the case, then he’s going to take all of this in one more time and say THE CHAMP IS….being cut off by Vince McMahon, who is rather banged up.

Vince can barely stand up or talk but he thinks Cena is out here to embarrass him for no longer being a World Champion. That’s not going to happen because Vince isn’t going to bend, bow or break. His name is Vincent Kennedy….and Cena turns his back on him. Cena says he’s going to tell himself that Vince is just beat up and delusional. Vince tries to say his name again but Cena turns his back again, saying the only thing keeping Vince alive is his patience.

Cena tells Vince to get it out of his system because he is out of his frigging mind. Vince: “YOU’RE A LIAR!” He explains that he hasn’t lost a thing…except for a World Title. That’s what Cena is going to do tonight when he defends the title against Umaga and Great Khali. Cena looks crushed as Vince is nearly beaming. This was a weird segment as Vince went fully nuts almost overnight and Cena got fed up with him in a hurry. It feels like something that should have come after a few weeks, not a day after Vince lost the title.

Candice Michelle/Cryme Tyme vs. Johnny Nitro/Kenny Dykstra/Melina

Michelle is in full Cryme Tyme gear and Lawler isn’t sure what to think about this one. Dykstra is now carrying a mirror but Melina seems to get more use out of it. The women almost get in a fight before the bell but it’s JTG punching Dykstra in the face to start. Nitro gets in a shot so Dykstra can take over, allowing Nitro to flip JTG into the corner for two. The chinlock goes on for a bit but JTG fights up and brings in Shad to clean house. Everything breaks down and the G9 finishes Nitro.

Rating: D+. Pretty standard six person tag here, which seemed to be more about getting Candice in a different outfit. I’m glad to see Cryme Tyme getting another chance though as they definitely stand out and their push just stopped a few months ago. The division needs some fresh blood so maybe they can get another shot.

Maria likes the Intercontinental Title, because it’s shiny like her dress. Vince McMahon (still smiling weirdly) comes up and says he used to have one of those titles. Maria starts to say something but gets told to shut up. Santino says you can’t talk to a woman like that so Vince makes a title match right now. He throws in a slap to the face and tells Santino to “get” about ten times.

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella vs. Chris Masters

Santino is defending and kicks at the leg to start. Masters grabs the rope to avoid a dropkick though and it’s time to talk about the Draft. A running leg shot to the back of the neck against the ropes vies Masters two and we hit the neck crank. That’s broken up and an STO gives Marella two. The Masterlock is blocked and Santino flips him over, setting up something close to an Oklahoma roll for the pin.

Rating: D+. These two have fought a few times now and I don’t know why there is no one else for Santino to face. The matches aren’t exactly good, but that is partially because every Masters match is about trying the Masterlock and nothing else. Nothing to see here, but at least they kept it short.

The Hardys are banged up when Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch come in to ask for a title shot, albeit when the Hardys are healthy. That’s cool with the Hardys, but Vince McMahon comes up, mocks them for being southern, and makes the title match for tonight. Cade and Murdoch don’t look happy with the news.

Vince keeps walking and runs into Ric Flair and Torrie Wilson. Torrie looks scared, so Vince says he can’t stand a degenerate hanging out with a woman half his age. For some reason, Torrie thinks it’s a good time to bring up the time Linda McMahon caught Vince with Torrie and his pants around his ankles. That earns Torrie a match with Carlito. Torrie leaves and Flair tells Vince to get over a single loss. Vince is sick of hearing the WOOing, but it makes Flair a legend, so he can face the Legend Killer Randy Orton. This was much more deranged crazy Vince and that’s a good thing.

Randy Orton vs. Ric Flair

Flair (in the weird black boots/red trunks combination) strikes away to start and unloads with right hands in the corner. Orton is back with a powerslam and loads up the RKO but we take a break. Back with Flair putting on the Figure Four but Orton makes the rope in a hurry. The backbreaker drops Flair and Orton gets in the circle stomp. Orton drops the knee but it bangs up his knee again so we hit the chinlock to let him rest it a bit. The comeback doesn’t last long as Flair walks into a dropkick.

We hit the chinlock again but this time Flair suplexes his way to freedom. Apparently Orton doesn’t like being suplexed so he punches Flair down in the corner, earning a poke to the eye. Orton hits a running corner clothesline to give us a Flair Flop but Flair is back up with an elbow to the face. A suplex drops Flair on the floor this time and JR quotes Foreigner to talk about how cold Orton is. Back in and Orton hits the Punt but Flair pulls himself up again…so the RKO can finish him off.

Rating: B-. If you want to get a villain over, there are few better choices that having him destroy Flair. Orton is feeling more and more like a predator every time he is in the ring as of late and adding another body to the list is going to make things even better. You can feel the huge match with Cena coming and they’re making Orton feel special on the way there.

Post match Orton loads up another Punk but the referee threatens him away.

Carlito vs. Torrie Wilson

Torrie has a bad leg so Carlito offers to let her walk away. Torrie tries and gets caught with the Backstabber for the pin in less than a minute. That’s all it needed to be.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

The banged up Hardys are defending and we get a handshake to start. Matt and Cade go to the mat to start for an exchange of arm cranking. Cade elbows him in the face for two and it’s off to Murdoch to stay on the arm. Matt gets over for the tag to Jeff to pick up the pace, including Poetry In Motion with Cade having to make the save. Jeff dives over the top onto Murdoch but bangs up his knee in the process.

We take a break and come back with Cade slamming Matt down and dropping a knee to the back. The sitout spinebuster gives Cade two more and it’s Murdoch grabbing a waistlock. Somehow Matt twists that around and grabs a reverse DDT, allowing the tag off to Jeff, who can barely walk. Jeff cleans house anyway but gets caught going up top. Matt catches Cade with the Twist of Fate but Jeff misses the Swanton, allowing Cade to get the pin. Ignore Murdoch shoving Jeff’s foot off the rope.

Rating: C+. The ending leaves a door open for later if that’s where they want to go, but at least they finally changed the titles. There wasn’t much left for these guys to do and they have an out with the Hardys being injured. Cade and Murdoch getting another run with the belts is not a bad thing either, as the Hardys never felt like anything more than transitional champions.

Post match Matt asks if Cade saw the foot on the ropes….and the Hardys get laid out with belt shots to the face. As they should have.

Coach is in Vince McMahon’s office but Vince isn’t happy. Vince has an ominous feeling, but he also has an idea for next week. Coach seems to already know what that is and Vince tells him to go inform the people.

Post break here is Coach to say that next week will be the Draft, but also Vince McMahon Appreciation Night.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga vs. Great Khali

Cena is defending and charges right into a clothesline from Khali. Umaga heads outside to grab a chair as Khali chokes Cena in the corner and kicks him to the floor. A hard whip sends Cena into the steps but Umaga throws the steps at Khali’s face (DANG) for a knockdown. Back in and Umaga blasts Cena with a clothesline of his own but Cena avoids a sitdown splash.

Umaga knocks him down again and hits a springboard sitdown splash to the chest. Another only lands on raised knees but Umaga is fine enough to plant Cena again. Khali comes back in though and we get the battle of the monsters for quite the visual. I’m not sure what quite, but quite.

They slug it out until Khali hits something resembling a spinning kick to the face and then elbows Cena as he tries to come back in. There’s the legdrop for two on Cena and the big chop follows but Umaga breaks up the double arm chokeslam. Khali loads up the chokeslam on Umaga but gets Samoan Spiked. Cena manages to knock Umaga outside and hit the FU on Khali to retain out of nowhere.

Rating: C. They did what they could here but this was all about having Cena survive against impossible odds. That’s kind of what Cena does every time, though you don’t often see Khali have steps thrown at his face. That alone was good enough to catch your attention and the rest of the match went as well as it could have gone given the circumstances.

Cena poses to end the show, though commentary knows that Vince is going to be angry.

Overall Rating: C. I liked the show well enough, even with how fast Vince went nuts over losing the title. It seemed like a vanity deal for him and now he’s acting like it meant more than the World Title did to HHH five years ago. The good thing is that tied the show together and what we got worked out fairly well. The show takes awhile to get going but it took off a lot more by the end. Now forget about almost all of that, because it’s time for the Draft.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Ring of Honor
Date: October 27, 2021
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Caprice Coleman

Well now everything has changed. Ring of Honor’s future suddenly looks WAY different and that is not the best news. I’m not sure what is going to happen with the company but it is clear that things are going to be wrapping up. Hopefully the final few shows are good, but this is very uncharted territory. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Vincent is checking himself in the mirror and has the rest of the Righteous say that “he” is going to love it.

Quinn McKay runs down the card, which is all based on Violence vs. Pure.

Rhett Titus vs. Tony Deppen

Both of them talk about how they want to show that their style is better. They go with the technical stuff on the mat as Deppen wants to show he can do this too. Titus grabs a test of strength and powers him to the mat without much effort but Deppen reverses into a leglock. That’s broken up and we take an early break, coming back with Titus putting on a headscissors. Deppen is out in a hurry with a backslide but Titus snaps off a butterfly suplex for two.

A knee to the ribs and a knee to the back of the head give Deppen two of his own before he ties up Titus’ arms. Some biting of the hand gets two on Titus and here is Homicide to get on the apron for no logical reason. Titus blocks a backsplash by raising the knees and we take a break. Back again with Titus being sent to the apron but managing a hard slingshot shoulder for two. Homicide grabs a chair for a distraction, causing Titus to miss a running boot in the corner.

Deppen kicks him to the floor and hits a suicide flip dive (a Homicide specialty), followed by a top rope double stomp for two back inside. Homicide is NOT happy with the kickout as they trade rollups for two each. Titus gets in a gutwrench suplex and some running boots in the corner, setting up an implant DDT for two more. There’s the half crab with a knee in the back but Homicide throws in the chair for the distraction. Said distraction lets Deppen hit Titus with the chair, setting up the running boot for the pin at 12:23.

Rating: C+. I liked this one as Titus has improved a bit with his new style. He looks smooth with the clean wrestling stuff and that is nice to see as he has rarely had anything that has stuck (often through no fault of his own). Deppen is a rather good heel too and they worked well together, with the cheating making sense for the faction with the numbers advantage here.

Post break, Titus wants to know where the Foundation was during that. Fair question.

Tony Deppen asks why Homicide wouldn’t help him. They’re from the places with no rules so why would they follow rules here?

Brody King/Chris Dickinson vs. Jonathan Gresham/Tracy Williams

Homicide and Jay Lethal are the seconds. Before the match, both teams say their way is better. The Foundation jump them from behind to start in a bit of a twist and the fight goes outside early. Dickinson beats on Gresham in the corner and hands it off to King to power him around. It’s right back to Dickinson, who tries to go after Gresham’s leg, which just does not seem that bright.

King is back in with a neck crank to grind Gresham down but he finally sends King into Dickinson. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Williams so the pace can pick way up. Dickinson kicks Williams in the face but Williams hits a running corner clothesline. We take a break and come back with Gresham getting the tag and chopping away at Dickinson. The Foundation takes turns stomping on Dickinson’s ankles but Gresham ducks right into a knee to the face (that looked GREAT) to knock him silly.

Gresham gets up a boot in the corner though and tweaks King’s leg, setting up the sleeper. The other two get in a brawl of their own though and then crash the hold for the save. We take another break and come back again with King Boston crabbing Williams as Dickinson gets Gresham in an STF. Both holds are broken up so Dickinson puts the STF on Williams. That’s reversed into a Crossface but Dickinson flips out of that as well and grabs a rear naked choke. King holds Gresham back as Williams passes out at 12:52.

Rating: B. This was quite a match, with both teams getting the chance to shine. Dickinson beating Williams with a clean hold was interesting and not something I would have seen coming. If nothing else, I would have bet on the Foundation to win here to even up the night, so well done on throwing in a surprise here.

Jay Lethal and Homicide are already here and since they’re scheduled for the main event, let’s go.

Jay Lethal vs. Homicide

Lethal has the Foundation head to the back while Violence Unlimited stays at ringside, which can’t possibly go badly. Lethal starts fast and knocks Homicide outside, setting up the triple suicide dives. Back up and Homicide shoulders him to the floor, setting up the big flip dive and they’re both down for a second.

They get back in for the slow motion slugout until Lethal misses a middle rope dropkick. For some reason a fork is placed in the turnbuckle but neither can go face first into it. Instead, Homicide chokes away but Lethal scores with a superkick. Cue Dutch of the Righteous to jump Tony Deppen as the Lethal Injection finishes Homicide at 5:37.

Rating: C. It was fun while it lasted but they were flying through everything here until the screwy finish. That would be the finish where another faction interfered in a match between factions, but at least they interfered after a fast paced match. Lethal vs. Homicide could be a good showdown if they were given the chance, but we only got something fun for a little while here.

The Righteous poses on the stage and applaud everyone to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Another pretty good show here, but it is kind of hard to get interested when this version of Ring of Honor is not going to be around much longer. There was a theme here, but this time, even moreso than usual, it was all about a few groups of wrestlers and that is not exactly the most interesting. I could go for something different, though I’m not sure if that is an option right now. Either way, at least it was a fun show with a theme.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw Star Gets Name Addition.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/monday-night-raw-star-gets-name-addition/

WRESTLING RUMORS: Update On The Future Of NXT Takeover.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wrestling-rumors-update-future-nxt-takeover/

Details On What Led To Bray Wyatt’s WWE Release.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/details-led-bray-wyatts-wwe-release/

Interesting Hint About Brock Lesnar’s Next Opponent.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/interesting-hint-brock-lesnars-next-opponent/

AEW Star Opens Up About Current Mental Health Issues.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/aew-star-opens-current-mental-health-issues/

More Details On AEW’s New Year Special, Including Original Plans.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/details-aews-new-year-special-including-original-plans/

PHOTO: Former WWE Star Dramatically Changes Look.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/look-former-wwe-star-dramatically-changes-look/

There May Be Several New Free Agents On The Wrestling Market.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/may-several-new-free-agents-wrestling-market/

As always, please check out all of the videos if you can, hit up the comments section and get on the Wrestling Rumors Facebook page.

NXT
Date: November 2, 2021
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Beth Phoenix, Wade Barrett

We’re done with Halloween Havoc and that means it is time to get ready for…well I have no idea actually as I’m not sure what they’re going to do as far as Takeover goes. There were a bunch of title changes last week and now it is time to see where things go from here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Mandy Rose to open things up and Barrett is VERY happy to see her as the new Women’s Champion. She is very proud of her win because she is the best looking champion in the title’s history and she is still the baddest b**** around. Last week was a great night for Toxic Attraction and we see all of them holding up their new titles last week (Mandy: “D*** I’m hot.”).

Her girls aren’t here, so we cut to the back where the rest of Toxic Attraction is beating up Zoey Stark. Mandy is proud of them but wants some competition. Cue Io Shirai to say she’ll fight right now, but Rose says she isn’t scared. Rose wants a referee out here right now so Shirai looks to the entrance and gets hit with the microphone. The beatdown is on until Shirai fights back, which draws out the rest of Toxic Attraction for the real beating. Kacy Catanzaro and Kayden Carter run in for the save, likely setting up the six woman tag.

In the back, Toxic Attraction find Dakota Kai, who says she didn’t help them last week. She just wants to get rid of Raquel Gonzalez.

Cameron Grimes is in Duke’s Poker Room with a bunch of other people, though he doesn’t seem to know the rules. Grimes: “You got 21? I GOT 22!” Hudson looks happy.

Dakota Kai vs. Cora Jade

Kai wastes no time in knocking Jade down and grabbing a chinlock. Back up and Jake fires off the running elbows, setting up the running hurricanrana. Jade gets two off a sunset flip but Kai scorpion kicks her. The running boot in the corner finishes Jade at 2:24.

Post match the beatdown stays on, including another shot to Jade’s head. Kai pulls out a table and lays it on Jade on the floor, but stops before jumping off the apron. Instead, she walks away and leaves Jade down.

Kyle O’Reilly/Von Wagner have been yelling at Legado del Fantasma on Twitter over the weekend.

Robert Stone doesn’t like everyone being happy with Xyon Quinn beating him up last week. The challenge is on.

MSK is depressed by their Tag Team Title loss but they’re getting help from someone. They don’t say who it is, but he invented the legend of MSK and has helped millions and millions. We’re about to hear the legend, but a bus pulls up and we can’t hear the explanation. And they missed their bus, so they’ll just have to walk.

Xyon Quinn vs. Robert Stone

Stone doesn’t like Quinn and promises to win in a hurry. This one is for Frankie Monet though and it’s time to dance to Monet’s theme. Quinn stands in the middle of the ring while Stone dances around him before asking if Quinn can dance better. After Quinn says no, Stone dances around like a chicken so Quinn says play the music and then dances/sings to Shawn Michaels’ theme. He even dances with Stone a bit, including a Dirty Dancing lift. Stone slaps him in the face so Quinn says ring the bell. A Samoan drop and Jackhammer (better than that running elbow) finish Stone at 47 seconds.

Joe Gacy talks about how horrible the world is, including clips of people arguing and talking about how evil social media really is. Harland is called a monster because he’s big and has tattoos. They will change the world together.

Legado del Fantasma, including Elektra Lopez, seems impressed by Xyon Quinn, who says he has a lot of sides to him.

Legado del Fantasma vs. Kyle O’Reilly/Von Wagner

Elektra Lopez is here with Legado. O’Reilly headlocks Wilde’s head to start so Mendoza comes in and has his sunset flip blocked. The much bigger Wagner comes in to take Mendoza down as well but Mendoza springboards over him for a breather. That doesn’t go well either as Wagner plants him, allowing O’Reilly to come back in and go after the arm. Wilde comes in so Wagner shoulders them both down, setting up a double suplex as we take a break.

Back with O’Reilly loading up a kick on Wilde but getting distracted by Lopez. Wilde’s kick connects in the corner and it’s Legado taking over for the first time. Mendoza kicks Wagner off the apron and it’s a springboard flip dive to drop O’Reilly for two. O’Reilly comes back and kicks Mendoza down, with Wilde making the save. Wagner comes back in but has some miscommunication with O’Reilly, allowing Wilde to roll him up for the pin at 10:59 (with Wagner’s foot in the rope).

Rating: C+. For the life of me I cannot get into this O’Reilly/Wagner team. O’Reilly was a main event player in NXT and now he seems to be there to mentor a pretty run of the mill big guy. The team isn’t bad or anything, but it’s not something I’m going to be interested in, which is making for some rough sits.

Carmelo Hayes and Trick Williams are ready to move on from the Way but Andre Chase pops up to say he has their back. Chase insists that he was NOT a coward last week and promises to give someone a beating to blow off some steam.

Back to the Poker Room, where Cameron Grimes is on a streak of beginner’s luck despite hitting on the women and not knowing the rules. Duke Hudson takes all of one of the women’s money and Grimes starts losing. More later.

Here’s Andre Chase for the open challenge (required on every show) but his microphone doesn’t work. We get a replacement microphone so Chase can say that people have been calling him a COWARD after last week. That sounds like a teachable moment so the challenge is on.

Andre Chase vs. Bron Breakker

Chase gets knocked outside in a hurry and Breakker blasts him with a clothesline. Back in and Chase chops away a bit but Breakker grabs the gorilla press powerslam for the easy pin at 1:41.

Post match, Breakker says he fell for one trap after another last week. Tommaso Ciampa is the man in NXT but they’re not done, because Breakker is coming after the title. Breakker’s voice in this promo was so Steiner that it might as well have been the University of Michigan fight song.

Imperium is proud of their Tag Team Title win, but they don’t like America. Toxic Attraction comes up to say Imperium should watch their six woman tag next week. Barthel thinks America has its benefits. I’m not sure if you noticed, but Toxic Attraction is a bunch of good looking women, just in case you didn’t get it from how many times we heard about them.

It’s time for Lashing Out With Lash Legend, with Lash talking about last week’s Halloween costumes. She doesn’t like the suggestion that LA Knight and Grayson Waller were the hosts because she is the REAL host around here. This week’s guest is Tony D’Angelo, who talks about allegedly kidnapping Lash’s producer, but here is the producer in person! D’Angelo makes vague threats to the producer’s family before moving on to saying he wants to face bigger NXT stars. This was the dumbest thing on a show with a lot of dumb things and feels like it belongs on a low level territory show from 1989.

Solo Sikoa vs. Jeet Rama

Sikoa sends him into the corner for the running Umaga attack and scores with a kick to the head. The Superfly Splash finishes Rama at 1:29.

Josh Briggs and Brooks Jensen cook steak, play cornhole and pitch horseshoes while talking about loving to fight and compete.

Boa vs. Grayson Waller

LA Knight is on commentary. Waller drives Boa into the corner to start but gets taken down into a crossarm choke. Back up and Waller fires off some clotheslines into a cravate with knees to the head. Knight offers a distraction though and Waller gets kicked off the ropes. Boa scores with a kick to the head to finish Waller at 2:28.

Back to the Poker Room where Cameron Grimes beats Duke Hudson on a big bluff. Grimes hat 2’s, because he’s going TO THE MOON. So a poker game gets three segments, a good fifteen or more years after the poker boom hit its peak. That’s very WWE of them.

Kay Lee Ray is back in a rage next week.

Boa can’t find Mei Ying. I’d call that a positive.

Here is Tommaso Ciampa for a chat. Ciampa talks about how last week was a changing of the guard in NXT and lists off the new champions. Bron Breakker was supposed to be the next NXT Champion but no one told Ciampa about that. With this title comes a target, but he knows that this is usually the time when someone interrupts. Cue Carmelo Hayes and Trick Williams, with the former saying he is that guy. Hayes says he is the A Champion in NXT, but Ciampa can’t hear him over the CIAMPA’S GONNA KILL YOU chants. The brawl is teased and Williams gets dropped, making Hayes think twice as Ciampa leaves.

The Way vs. Carmelo Hayes/Trick Williams

Ciampa is still in the aisle as Johnny Gargano comes out for a tease of the good old days. Lumis and Williams start things off, with a single glare sending Williams over for the tag to Hayes. That’s fine with Lumis, who crawls over to scare Hayes, meaning Williams comes back in to hammer away. Lumis scores with a Thesz press and right hands before it’s off to Gargano to work on the arm.

That should mean a top rope ax handle, but instead Lumis lands on his feet and uppercuts Williams in the face. Hayes comes back in and gets his kick to the ribs caught, meaning Gargano can come back in for some more traditional wrestling. Gargano nails the slingshot spear to cut Hayes down, allowing the Way to clear the ring as we take a break. Back with Hayes cutting off Gargano’s tag attempt and hitting an assisted springboard legdrop for two. Gargano gets over for the tag to Lumis a few moments later though and it’s time to clean some house.

An assisted superplex gets two on Hayes and Gargano superkicks Williams. Gargano loads up his own glove for stereo shots to the face, followed by stereo superkicks. Lumis adds a top rope elbow for two on Williams with Hayes making the save. We settle down to Hayes and Gargano chopping it out until Hayes goes to the throat. A discus lariat turns Hayes inside out and there’s the Silencer to keep Hayes in trouble. The referee gets Gargano out though, allowing Williams to hit Lumis with a shoe. That’s enough to set up the top rope ax kick to give Hayes the pin at 13:32.

Rating: C+. Another perfectly decent if not fairly good match, as Gargano and Lumis have a weird chemistry, but are also an established team. What matters here is they made Hayes and Williams look pretty good, which is exactly the point of something like this. Hayes looks like a possible NXT Title challenger, so it isn’t like he was going to lose here. I’m not sure what is next for the Way, but this father-in-law/son deal could be funny.

Overall Rating: C-. The two longer matched helped this show a lot but my goodness this felt like a circus. There are so many characters and so many gimmicks running around that it felt like a high school improv exercise where you pulled your character out of a hat and figure it out in ten minutes. That’s fine for some low level place that needs something for people to do, but this is national television and I’d expect a bit better.

There are a lot of problems on this show, but there are certainly good parts too. I want to see where some of the new characters go, including Sikoa, Quinn, Breakker and Hayes, which shows that NXT does know how to do some things right. At the same time though, there are a bunch of things that are a bit less than thrilling, including Toxic Attraction, Duke Hudson’s Poker Room, Tony D’Angelo and Lash Legend (egads). Those things are bringing the show down, because they do not exactly offer the greatest hope.

Overall, this show was a microcosm of what NXT is at the moment: a bunch of things happening, with some interesting prospects but a lot of people who are bordering on disaster because it isn’t 1994. Why would I want to see a mobster on a talk show with a loud host when I could see more of the talented athletes getting to do their thing? This was a rough sit, but it did have some bright spots to keep some hope alive.

Results
Dakota Kai b. Cora Jade – Running kick in the corner
Xyon Quinn b. Robert Stone – Jackhammer
Legado del Fantasma b. Kyle O’Reilly/Von Wagner – Rollup to Wagner
Bron Breakker b. Andre Chase – Gorilla press powerslam
Solo Sikoa b. Jeet Rama – Superfly Splash
Boa b. Grayson Waller – Kick to the head
Trick Williams/Carmelo Hayes b. The Way – Top rope ax kick to Lumis

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

WRESTLING RUMORS: AEW Planning To Bring Back A 1980s Special.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wrestling-rumors-aew-planning-bring-back-1980s-special/

Becky Lynch Breaks Character Over Cool Fan Tributes.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/becky-lynch-breaks-character-cool-fan-tributes/

You’ll Be Seeing More Of The Rock In WWE Soon.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/rock-getting-special-treatment-wwe/

Last Dance: Update On Miz’s (Likely) WWE Status.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/former-wwe-champion-free-return-monday-night-raw/

WATCH: Becky Lynch Has A Surprising New Challenger.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/watch-becky-lynch-surprising-new-challenger/

Former World Champion Drops Huge Hint At Possibly Leaving WWE.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kevin-owens-drops-huge-hint-possibly-leaving-wwe/

WWE Is Doing Something Very Helpful For NXT Wrestlers’ Futures.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wwe-something-helpful-nxt-wrestlers-futures/

Another Former World Champion Officially A Free Agent.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/another-former-world-champion-officially-free-agent/

As always, please check out all of the videos if you can, hit up the comments section and get on the Wrestling Rumors Facebook page.

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 1, 2021
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s time to start the final two months of the year and we are getting them going in a big way with Becky Lynch defending the Raw Women’s Title against Bianca Belair. There is always the chance of a title change around Survivor Series time, as WWE might need to make sure that a champion doesn’t lose at Survivor Series by having them lose earlier. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Becky Lynch vs. Bianca Belair to set up the title match.

Belair talks about how we got here and recaps her feud with Lynch. Her failures are opportunities to get better and now Becky is going to see what she can do.

Lynch talks about how hard it is to be here and she might have even heard some booing. All that is going to do is inspire her.

Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Bianca Belair

Lynch is defending and the trash talk is on in a hurry. Belair powers her down with a waistlock, setting up the handspring moonsault. Lynch bails out to the floor and catches Belair with a jawbreaker outside. The hair is pulled but Belair uses it to pull Lynch into the post, setting up a suplex.

We take a break and come back with Becky tripping her down but a suplex is countered into a small package. Some dropkicks give Belair a breather and it’s time for an exchange of rollups. Lynch gets most of the Disarm-Her but Belair powers up and they crash out to the floor as we take another break.

Back again with Lynch grabbing a triangle choke but Belair powerbombs her way to freedom. Lynch stops a charge with a boot and goes up, only to get caught in a gorilla press. That’s countered into the Manhandle Slam for two and they head outside. This time Belair plants her face first onto the announcers’ table and hits the Glam Slam for two back inside. Lynch goes up top but gets caught in the KOD. That’s big trouble so Lynch grabs the turnbuckle pad and pulls it off to escape. Belair is sent into the exposed buckle and a rollup with tights retains Lynch’s title at 18:29.

Rating: B. This felt similar to the Sasha Banks vs. Belair match from Wrestlemania, as Belair was relying on straight power and athleticism while Lynch did what she could to survive.. I was a bit surprised by the ending as I was expecting a title change more than once in there. I’m not sure how long Lynch is going to hold the title, but whoever takes the title from her is going to look like a big deal.

Rey Mysterio, with Dominik Mysterio, says Austin Theory is great at what he does…and here is Theory to interrupt. Theory says he’s going to do to Rey what he did to Dominik, but Rey is ready to show what the Mysterio name means.

Rey Mysterio vs. Austin Theory

Dominik Mysterio is here with Rey and we see the picture Theory took of them backstage before the match (what a great touch). They start fast with Rey hitting a hurricanrana into the corner. Theory is right back up with a suplex for two and it’s off to something like a torture rack to plant Rey again. The rolling dropkick has Rey in more trouble but he sends Theory outside to change momentum. A DDT on the floor keeps Theory down and we take a break.

Back with Rey having to fight out of a bearhug so Theory goes up top. That’s broken up and Theory is sent hard into the corner off a hurricanrana. An exchange of dropkicks keeps Theory down but he takes Dominik down like a villain should. Rey knocks him into 619 position but Dominik slaps Theory in the face. The 619 and splash hit but the referee calls for the DQ off the slap.

Rating: C. This accomplished two things at once, as Theory gets another win so he can keep bragging, while also furthering the Mysterio split. That’s a nice piece of booking, as Theory continues to be one of the better pushed guys on the show in a long time. It’s rather refreshing, as Theory really is that good and was somewhat wasted down in NXT (where he was fun, but not so good).

Rey isn’t happy with Dominik but it doesn’t stop Theory’s photo.

We recap Seth Rollins winning last week’s ladder match to become #1 contender.

Here is Rollins, with his contract, for a chat and he is on top of the world. Last week, he won a grueling ladder match to become the new #1 contender. It feels good to be where he belongs because he came here to be the biggest star on Raw. Now we can look at the fine print, but here is Big E. to interrupt. Big E. talks about Rollins refusing his handshake last week but Big E.’s aunt told him to not think a thing of it.

Rollins talks about how he lost respect last week when Big E. turned down the handshake. We hear about some of Big E.’s most important wins bug Rollins knows Big E. isn’t on his level. They can have their title match and Rollins can take that from him so Big E. can go back and be a joke with his friends. Big E. doesn’t like Rollins making fun of King Xavier and he REALLY doesn’t like him making fun of Kofimania. The challenge for the title match is on for tonight but hold on a second, because Rollins isn’t 100%. They’ll do this on his terms, but here is Kevin Owens to interrupt.

Owens doesn’t want to hear it from Rollins, especially because of that suit. He has heard a bunch of people calling themselves the face of Raw but they are forgetting THIS FACE RIGHT HERE. Last week Rollins won the ladder match, but people were talking about Owens’ performance in the match instead.

Owens promises to give everything he has every week and to always keep fighting. It might be for three more months or three more years (oh my) but he’ll give the fans something to remember. Since Rollins isn’t going tonight, how about Owens faces Big E. for the first time ever tonight? Rollins likes the idea but both of them tell him to shut up. Big E. is down for a first time ever match with Owens. Rollins is a wildcard here and a title change wouldn’t stun me. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea, but it seems to be on the table.

Earlier today, Carmella and Zelina Vega talked about how amazing they were. They didn’t realize that Nikki Ash and Rhea Ripley were right next to them and Zelina says Nikki’s mask compliments her before talking trash about it as they walk off. Ripley comes up and says they heard that so the challenge is on for later. The depth of stories involving women in WWE is remarkable.

Rhea Ripley/Nikki Ash vs. Carmella/Zelina Vega

Non-title because the Women’s Tag Team Titles are quite the waste of time. Carmella gets masked up so Vega yells at Ripley to start, earning herself a big running shoulder. It’s off to Carmella, who gets knocked down as well, setting up a dropkick from Ripley. We see a bunch of the other women in the back as Ripley picks Carmella up and hands it off to Ash for a dropkick to the knee.

Nikki hits a crossbody off the apron to take both of them down and we take a break. Back with Carmella chinlocking Ripley and handing it off to Vega for the same. That’s broken up as well and it’s quickly off to Ash. A fisherman’s neckbreaker plants Vega for two and Carmella posts Ripley. Carmella distracts Ash and it’s the Code Red to give Vega the pin at 8:17.

Rating: C-. This was another match where they were trying to make it work but the Women’s Tag Team Titles are so devalued that it is hard to care about the results. I do like Vega getting a pin to keep her momentum going and I can’t even get annoyed at the champs losing this time. I’m sure the title match will be an epic showdown though, because that makes up for everything else.

The Alpha Academy comes up to Big E., who just happens to be standing in the right place. Chad Gable offers to help Big E. from this place turning into Monday Night Rollins again. We hear about how Gable just earned his Masters from Full Sail as the valedictorian with a 4.0. Just look at what Gable did with Otis and imagine what he could have done with Big E. as Gable beats up Finn Balor.

Video on Veer. Maybe he can win a match next time.

Chad Gable vs. Finn Balor

Otis (who is looking jacked) is here with Gable. Balor gets taken down to start but is right back with a wristlock. The basement dropkick rocks Gable and Balor snaps off some armdrags. Gable grabs an abdominal stretch but Balor hiptosses his way to freedom and double stomps Gable’s chest.

The shotgun dropkick misses though and Gable grabs the ankle lock but the attempt at a grapevine is countered into a cross armbreaker. That’s reversed into the ankle lock again but this time Balor rolls through and hits another double stomp. Gable German suplexes him for two and goes up, where the moonsault hits raised knees. Balor takes WAY too long setting up the Coup de Grace and gets superplexed back down, only to tie the legs up for the small package to pin Gable at 5:43.

Rating: B-. They were working hard in a short match here and packed in a lot. What matters here is that they didn’t waste time and Gable looked like a real threat to Balor. It takes a lot to make someone seem like they escaped instead of winning and they pulled it off here. Good stuff here and it was much better than I was expecting.

We look back at RKBro retaining the Tag Team Titles over Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode last week.

Riddle runs into Ziggler and Roode and talks about dogs. Ziggler cuts him off and says pay attention while RKBro is on commentary because tonight is a preview of the rematch.

We see a video on Titus O’Neil having a school named after him for his work in the community. That’s pretty incredible and he deserves all kinds of credit for what he has done.

Street Profits vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

RKBro is on commentary, which is treated as a big deal. They also seem to have a remixed version of their themes, which is an even bigger deal. Roode headlocks Ford to start and we get a LOUD Randy chant. Ford hiptosses Roode down and Dawkins comes in to suplex Ford onto him for two. Back up and Roode takes Dawkins into the corner for the tag to Ziggler.

That doesn’t last long as Roode is back in, only to get splashed in the corner. Roode tries a hanging DDT of his own but gets backdropped to the floor, much to RKBro’s delight. The Profits take Roode and Ziggler down but stop to stare at RKBro as we take a break. Back with Dawkins still in trouble as Roode and Ziggler take their turns on him. Dawkins manages a quick Silencer on Ziggler and a suplex on Roode, allowing the hot tag to Ford.

The pace picks way up, including a high crossbody and Blockbuster to give Ford two. Roode rolls him up for two but Ford gets the same off of a crucifix. A catapult sends Ford into a DDT for two and everything breaks down. Ford busts out the huge flip dive onto the floor (which even draws RKBro to their feet) but here is Omos for a distraction, allowing Ziggler to slam Ford down for the pin at 11:15.

Rating: C+. Good action here and RKBro being impressed by the Street Profits made it look more impressive. The Profits are the kind of addition to any division that is going to boost things up automatically as they can have an exciting match with anyone and that is more than what they did here. Granted it helps having Roode and Ziggler as opponents. Throw in Omos as a monster and this was a nice way to go.

Post match Omos takes out the Profits and Riddle without much effort. Orton is fired up but isn’t crazy enough to go after Omos.

We look at Damian Priest going nuts and beating T-Bar into oblivion last week.

Priest says that side of him has always been there but he doesn’t like letting it out. If T-Bar wants to throw a chair at him, he is going to a dark place and taking people with him. Tonight, T-Bar has a chance to get very acquainted with the Damian in him.

Damian Priest vs. T-Bar

Non-title and No DQ. Graves describes Priest as “the walking embodiment of the eternal battle between good and evil.” Remember when wrestlers were just called things like “big” or “bad”? They go straight to the floor with Priest sending him into the barricade. It’s already time for the table but the delay lets T-Bar kick him in the face. The table is set up at ringside but T-Bar has to escape a chokeslam. Priest gets posted but is fine enough to kick T-Bar in the face. T-Bar crotches him on top though and it’s a super Samoan drop to send us to a break.

Back with Priest slugging away to get out of trouble, including a jumping enziguri. The spinwheel kick connects and the Broken Arrow gets two. Priest goes up top but gets pulled back down with a chokebreaker for a very near fall. Priest gets his arms tied in the ropes and T-Bar pulls out a kendo stick, because the chair is just too basic.

T-Bar breaks the stick over Priest’s chest and ribs, leaving a bunch of welts. Priest cuts off a charge with the broken stick and hits a heck of a clothesline. Now it’s time for the chair, with Priest looking all nutty. A bunch of chair shots rock T-Bar and the chokeslam puts T-Bar through the table (which exploded) at ringside. Back in and the Reckoning finishes what used to be T-Bar at 12:57.

Rating: B. This was all about showcasing Priest, but T-Bar was FAR more like the Dijakovic days and that is long overdue. Priest looked like a killer here though and that is something we have only seen glimpses of for the last several months. I could go for more of this and I think WWE realizes they have something with him being this kind of a monster.

Post match Apollo Crews and Commander Azeez come out to say they are here to breathe new life into Raw. Crews says Priest will have the chance to meet him in combat and lose the US Title. I was hoping the green lights were Keith Lee but this is better than nothing.

Reggie asks John Morrison about his meditating but has to escape the goons, because THIS is what needs to be on both shows. After Reggie escapes, the goons all yell at each other.

Smackdown Breakdown.

We look back at Becky Lynch cheating to retain the title.

Lynch says she didn’t cheat to win but half of the audience booed her. Those people are fickle because they were the same people cheering her on the way up. It’s time for Bianca Belair to go to the back of the line so someone else can step up. Cue Liv Morgan for the staredown.

Seth Rollins comes up to Kevin Owens and says they might not like each other but maybe they can scratch each others’ backs. Maybe he can help Owens win tonight and slow Big E. down and then Owens can get the first title shot. Owens is thrilled but threatens violence if Rollins gets involved.

Big E. vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title. Owens takes him straight down into an early chinlock, which is reversed into a headlock for a change. With that broken up, Owens hits a hard elbow to the face, which only seems to annoy Big E. The Big Ending is reversed into a reverse DDT for two, setting up a middle rope dropkick.

Big E. is back up and tosses Owens around without much effort. The apron splash misses though and Owens hits the Cannonball off the apron. Cue Seth Rollins to join them at ringside though and we take a break. Back with Owens hitting a superplex for two but his clotheslines just fire Big E. back up. They slug it out until Owens’ Stunner is blocked, allowing Big E. to hit the belly to belly.

Owens sends him into the corner for the Cannonball and the Swanton connects for two. The Rock Bottom out of the corner gives Big E. two of his own but Big E. gets shoved off the top. Another Swanton hits knees so Big E. spears him through the ropes. Rollins hits Big E. with a cheap shot though (which Owens clearly saw) so Owens covers for two, only to get reversed into a crucifix to give Big E. the pin at 12:46.

Rating: B-. This was the near hoss fight and that’s what you would have wanted from these two. Rollins being the X factor here was hardly a surprise but it makes a lot of sense. I know it isn’t likely to last but I’m digging the false hope that we might not have to sit through champions vs. champions again at Survivor Series. I’m not sure what Owen is going to be doing either, but I can go for seeing more of him if WWE is trying to keep him around.

Post match, Big E. sees the replay and asks why Owens tried to cover him after Rollins cheated. Owens swears he didn’t know what happened because he was half knocked out. Instead he blames Rollins for what happened and issues the challenge for next week. Owens apologizes to Big E. again and gets the Big Ending to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a heck of a show with the only thing resembling bad being the never ending 24/7 antics and the not so great women’s tag match. Other than that, there wasn’t a bad thing to be found on the card, at least wrestling wise. There were some issues with people doing dumb things or acting like they have no memory beyond the last few weeks, but WWE is long past the point where continuity is going to be a thing. Maybe it’s due to the TV being so badly lately, but I had a good time with this and the show flew by. Good stuff here, though actually doing something for Survivor Series would be nice.

Results
Becky Lynch b. Bianca Belair – Rollup with tights
Austin Theory b. Rey Mysterio via DQ when Dominik Mysterio interfered
Carmella/Zelina Vega b. Nikki Ash/Rhea Ripley – Code Red to Ash
Finn Balor b. Chad Gable – Small package
Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode b. Street Profits – Slam off the top to Ford
Damian Priest b. T-Bar – Reckoning
Big E. b. Kevin Owens – Crucifix

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

One Night Stand 2007
Date: June 3, 2007
Location: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s what almost has to be the final cycle of Wrestlemania rematches and early summer stories. The build for this has not been great, which probably has a lot to do with it being a mere two weeks after Backlash. The card isn’t looking the best either, but maybe they can surprise me. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how everything is extreme rules for one night only, though in this case it means everything has its own stipulations. There’s a better name for the show in there somewhere.

Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

This is a stretcher match and fallout from Orton attacking Van Dam and giving him a concussion, which was fallout from Orton attacking Shawn Michaels and giving him a concussion. Van Dam does the finger pointing and then kicks Orton in the face to start fast. Some more strikes keep Orton rocked early, including a running clothesline in the corner. A kick to the face sets up the spinning legdrop but Orton gets in a shot to the face to put Van Dam down, complete with bugged out eyes.

Van Dam is fine enough to kick Orton in the face but the jump to the top means a crash out to the floor. Orton slowly brings him back inside for the dropkick before slowly knocking Van Dam down a few times. The over the shoulder neckbreaker drops Van Dam but he falls off the stretcher. For some reason that wakes Van Dam up and he posts Orton down.

Now it’s Orton being laid on the stretcher for the spinning kick to the back. They head back inside with Van Dam hitting a clothesline but Rolling Thunder is reversed into the powerslam in a slick counter. Van Dam manages to toss him onto the stretcher again, but a big running flip dive over the top only hits floor in a nasty landing. Orton drops him onto the stretcher but Van Dam fights up and puts Orton on for the surprise win.

Rating: C. This was a bit of a weird match as Orton beat Van Dam up for a good while and then lost in the end, despite Van Dam looking destroyed more than once. Van Dam deserves some attention for his facials alone and there was a nice story being told. Maybe not a great match and I’m not sure on Orton winning, but they did something different enough here.

Post match Orton is right back up and beats Van Dam back to ringside. The Punt off the apron sets up the hanging DDT from the barricade, which ends Van Dam’s full time WWE career for the time being. Aside from some cameos, Van Dam would not be back until 2013.

Vince McMahon is worried about the street fight with Bobby Lashley but Shane McMahon says Umaga will take care of things. That helps, but Vince has a premonition of something bad happening to him.

Sandman/Tommy Dreamer/CM Punk vs. New Breed

Tables match, meaning we have tags. Dreamer and Cor Von go technical to start, including a butterfly suplex to put Dreamer down. Burke comes in but misses a charge in the corner, allowing the tag off to Sandman. That means a hiptoss before Punk comes in to a big reaction for some knees to Striker. Punk and Dreamer want some tables but Punk has to dive on Cor Von first.

Back in and Striker runs from Sandman and the kendo stick before Cor Von has to save him from the table. Burke hits a quick elbow to Punk’s bad ribs and it’s everyone inside to brawl again. We hit the parade of secondary finishers, including Cor Von Alpha Bombing Punk. Dreamer piledrives Burke and Punk superplexes Striker through Burke and the table for the win.

Rating: C-. This could have been any ECW On Sci Fi main event and that isn’t the worst place to be. The problem here was the time and the lack of any real story to the whole thing, as they just wildly brawled for the most part. Granted that’s what this probably should have been and now it is time to wrap up the New Breed as Punk can move on to something bigger.

Randy Orton comes up to see Edge and suggests that he’s coming for the World Heavyweight Title, if Edge beats Batista tonight and if he gets moved to Smackdown in the Draft. That’s quite the hypothetical and Edge doesn’t seem scared.

Raw Tag Team Titles: World’s Greatest Tag Team Team vs. Hardys

The Hardys are defending in a ladder match. It’s a fight to start with the Hardys knocking both of them down in a row. Since that doesn’t mean much in a ladder match, all four head outside and pick up a ladder of their own. The dueling is on until Haas gets crushed by ladders in the corner, setting up Poetry In Motion to Shelton to smash Haas again.

Haas is fine enough to get out and pull Jeff off the ladder but Matt is there to make the save. The Hardys go up at the same time (which is stupid), allowing Shelton to throw a ladder at them to bring them back down (I knew it was stupid). Jeff is sent face first into the ladder in the corner and Haas and Benjamin, apparently not learning, go up at the same time as well.

Matt breaks that up in a hurry but it’s time to set up ladder contraptions. That takes too long though and the Hardys send both of them back first into a ladder. Now it’s time to bring in the bigger ladders, because the ladder match checklist must be completed. One such ladder is bridged between the ring and the apron, with Benjamin being backdropped onto it in a hurry.

That’s not good enough so Jeff loads up something off the top but Haas belly to back superplexes him down. Haas leans Matt up against a ladder on the floor and Jeff gets t-boned. That doesn’t seem to bother Matt though as he shoves Haas and Benjamin down, the latter onto a ladder, setting up a Swanton to keep them down. Matt pulls the titles down to retain.

Rating: B. Like this wasn’t going to work. It’s a match I didn’t care to see but knew it was going to be good, which was absolutely what happened here. Sometimes you need to let people who are good at this kind of thing do their stuff and that was the case here. It was nothing that hadn’t been done before, but it was done well.

Great Khali promises to win.

Mark Henry vs. Kane

Lumberjack match and the lumberjacks get their own individual entrances. Henry powers him to the floor to start but Kane is back in to kick Henry in the face. That doesn’t bother Henry much either so Kane slugs him out to the floor and follows him out. This time Henry rams him into the post to start working on the back and hammers away in it inside. A test of strength doesn’t work well for Henry as Kane headbutts his way to freedom, only to get shouldered down.

Kane can’t pick Henry up and we hit the bearhug, with Henry eventually throwing him down. Henry gets tossed outside so Kane dives onto a bunch of people for the big crash. Back in and Kane hits the top rope clothesline to set up the chokeslam but the lumberjacks come in to beat him down. Since it’s No DQ, Henry grabs the bearhug again and Kane is out for the win.

Rating: D. The gimmick didn’t do the match any favors here and it felt rather forced in. I get that they had to do something to make this an extreme match but it was basically Henry hurting Kane’s back, some interference, and then Henry wins. That could have been done without the lumberjacks and that is never a good sign for any match.

The Hardys and the World’s Greatest Tag Team get in a fight backstage.

We recap Bobby Lashley vs. Vince McMahon for the ECW World Title. Lashley helped shave McMahon’s head at Wrestlemania so Vince swore revenge and eventually took the title with some help from Shane McMahon and Umaga. After screwing Lashley over a time or two, it is time for the final showdown in a street fight.

ECW World Title: Vince McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is challenging in a street fight and Shane McMahon/Umaga are here with Vince. Lashley wastes no time in diving over the top onto Umaga, who he grazes with his feet at best. Now it’s Shane getting beaten up and tossed onto Umaga at ringside, leaving Lashley to unload on Vince in the corner.

Umaga comes back in to miss a splash in the corner but Shane is back in with a DDT onto a chair. Vince clotheslines Lashley down and chokes in the corner before they head outside. More triple teaming ensues before heading back inside where Vince can hit a spear for two. Lashley pulls Vince in the way of Umaga’s splash though and the comeback is on.

Shane and Umaga are sent outside and Lashley unloads on Vince with a chair. The Dominator gets two with Umaga making the save, setting up a splash from the apron. Shane adds the top rope elbow through the announcers’ table and everyone is down again. That only gives Vince two back inside so Umaga hits the running hip attack in the corner. Shane misses Coast To Coast though and Lashley is back up with the spear to Vince to get the title back.

Rating: C. This was the fairly obvious way to go and there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes you need to go in the logical way and this time around that meant Lashley running through the odds and getting the title back. Lashley is a monster, but now he needs something else to do, which unfortunately won’t involve Vince as the amazing ECW heel. Not a great match or a great brawl, but it did what it was supposed to do.

Post match Lashley hits another spear on Vince for a bonus.

Maria likes Santino Marella speaking Italian to her but she has to answer a question about the upcoming pudding match between Melina and Candice Michelle. As you might guess, her response features a lot of big words and scientific explanations about pudding. Candice pops up and asks for a kiss for luck. Maria obliges, so Santino says he loves America. Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

Melina vs. Candice Michelle

Non-title and they’re fighting in pudding. Candice shoves her down and they grapple around a lot, as you can probably guess how this is going. They fight on the floor a bit and Lawler can’t tell which is which, though he doesn’t seem to care. Melina licks some pudding off of her thumb and hits a DDT. Trash talking ensues, but Candice pulls her into a reverse chinlock for the tap (on pudding). Exactly what you would have expected.

Post match Maria comes in for an interview but gets pulled into the pudding. The referee is pulled in as well and Lawler is jealous.

We recap Edge vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Edge cashed in Money in the Bank to take the title from Undertaker, then cheated to beat Batista at Judgment Day. Now it’s time for Batista to get his rematch inside a cage.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Edge

Edge is defending in a cage. Batista starts fast by taking him down and going up but it’s way too early for that. Edge tries to go up but gets pulled back down, earning himself a heck of a clothesline for two. A few shots to the face aren’t enough for Edge to get out as Lashley suplexes him down for two more.

Now it’s Batista going up, only to have his leg kicked out for the save. That’s enough to weaken Batista’s already damaged leg but he’s fine enough to catch Edge trying for the door. A superplex gives Batista two and they collide in the middle off a spear vs. running shoulder for the double knockdown. It’s Batista up first with a running clothesline and a swinging Boss Man Slam gets two.

A catapult sends Edge face first into the cage and Batista launches him face first in again. Somehow Edge manages a quick spear for two but Batista pulls him off the top for the same. The Batista Bomb is countered (with Edge’s thong sticking out) as Edge winds up on top. Batista follows him up but gets low blowed back down. Batista goes for the door but Edge climbs out to escape and retain.

Rating: C. That’s it? That felt like the setup for another false finish and then they just finished the match. It wasn’t terrible, but it seemed like they were missing the last five or so minutes. This should put Batista out of the title picture for the time being, though I’m not sure what that leaves for him to do at the moment. Edge can find someone new though, and he can do so after beating Batista pretty clean.

We recap John Cena vs. Great Khali. Cena retained the title at Judgment Day but Khali’s leg was underneath the ropes. That’s why tonight it’s a falls count anywhere match for the title, meaning the ropes can’t save Cena. The idea here is that Cena knows he’s facing a monster and might be in way over his head.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Great Khali

Cena is defending in a falls count anywhere match. Cena goes right after him to start but is quickly knocked down, including a bunch of stomping in the corner. There’s a slam to plant Cena but he gets in a shot of his own for a breather. Khali is right back up with a chop to the head to put Cena on the floor though and the foot on the chest gets two. A hard ram sends Cena head first through a monitor but another big chop is blocked.

Instead, Cena is tossed over the barricade but he manages a monitor shot of his own. The FU attempt is swatted away though and Khali punches him around. A missed charge (work with me here) misses for Khali and Cena hits him in the face with a boom camera for two. Cena gets him off the ground for the FU but some elbows to the face get Khali out of trouble again. They fight onto a crane, where Cena finally manages the FU off of said crane to retain the title.

Rating: C+. While certainly not a classic, they did this as well as they could have. What mattered here was they found the right way to hide Khali’s limitations and let Cena do the rest. The idea of setting up the FU for the whole match and then blowing it off in the end was the right call too and it was a well set up match. I’m not sure how much better they could have done this and the stipulation made the match better rather than just being tacked on.

Overall Rating: C. This was a show that focused almost entirely on the gimmicks and that was not a bad thing. The stories were either mostly done or not exactly exciting, so putting the emphasis on everything else they were doing was the right idea. It made for an easy show to watch, even if it didn’t feel all that important. We need to move on in a big way, but at least they had a fine enough show to wrap up this cycle.

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Survivor Series 1993
Date: November 24, 1993
Location: Boston Gardens, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,509
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

So it’s a year later now and there are indeed a few changes. For one thing, Hogan is completely gone. He would appear in WCW in a few months time. Other than that, the evil Yokozuna is now world champion with Lex Luger being his main adversary. That’s your main event here tonight, as it’s the Foreign Fanatics vs. the All Americans. It’s a five match card that I remember very fondly for some reason.

There are some very good moments here along with some rather stupid ones. It’s an odd time for the company as they’re definitely in a transitional period here, with Yoko and Luger being the two main guys and Bret not far behind them. None of those three are incredibly huge stars at the moment, so this is a weird time for them. We’re back to the traditional Survivor Series formula though, so this should be a bit better than what we had in the very early 90s I guess. Let’s find out.

Before we get the standard intro, we see Vince and Bobby getting ready backstage. Vince says he smells bananas, which scares Bobby because it means Monsoon is around. He and Ross are doing Radio WWF tonight, which is either brilliant or very stupid and I’m not sure which. This would be Bobby’s last PPV before heading to WCW as well. The intro was an odd one with the skeleton of a building and the logo hanging from a crane. I have no idea what this was supposed to be.

Team IRS vs. Team Razor

Razor Ramon, Marty Jannetty, 1-2-3 Kid, Mr. Perfect

IRS, Adam Bomb, Diesel, Rick Martel

So the fourth man was supposed to be Mr. Perfect, but for some reason he’s gone. There are numerous reasons as to why he’s gone, but we’re not sure either way. Some say he was in rehab, some say he left due to steroid issues, some say he was hurt. We’re not sure either way, but he wouldn’t be seen again until Wrestlemania where he was supposed to start a feud with Luger, but he was gone after one appearance.

Anyway, Ramon says he has a substitute that has as much machismo as he does. Heenan says it’s some other punk, but as the music hits Heenan freaks out since it’s Randy Savage. The deal with Savage was that his friend Crush had gotten hurt by Yoko so he turned heel on Savage and beat the living heck out of him. Savage was PISSED and would do anything to get at Crush.

They would eventually have a last man standing match (kind of) at Mania. Crush was supposed to get a massive singles push but for some reason it never came. In the end that was a good thing because he was arrested and went to jail for a few years on weapons charges. Apparently Heenan called this sometime before and Vince says ok, ok you were right for once. FOR ONCE? Dag Heenan was great.

Oh yeah why are these people in this match. Shawn Michaels had been IC Champion but was suspended for failing a steroids test (which he to this day denies). To fill the void we had a battle royal with the last two people in it having a match and the winner of that won the IC belt.

Razor and Martel were your winners and then Razor won the title. Shawn kept his belt though so there were two belts. They were hung above the ring at Wrestlemania 10. You know the rest. As for the other guys, there’s no point to them being there. IRS and Razor had a mini feud that was blown off at the Rumble but that’s it.

Anyway, we start with Razor and Martel and Razor beats the tar out of him. Are you surprised? He tags out to Adam Bomb who I was always a mark for. He and Crush would later become Kronik in WCW. They do a test of strength and since he’s a heel, Bomb cheats. Oddly the bad guy is the face here. Anyway, Razor goes for a cover on Bomb but Martel runs in for a save with an elbow.

It hits Bomb and Harvey is kind of annoyed, so Martel hits him. Now we’ve got a big team brawl and for once, the faces let them fight. I’ve never gotten why they didn’t do that more often. When another team is fighting, why not let them do it and get a breather? Savage, being the only true big star on his team at that point, gets on the ropes and plays to the crowd here. And that is why Savage is better than anyone else in this match and better than most in history.

Old guys know how to get things done like that. See, today, most people have a chance like this and they just stand there. Savage, already getting hugs pops no matter what he does, plays to the crowd to try to get a bigger one. That sticks in people’s heads.

Instead of just sitting around doing nothing, he’s talking to the crowd, and there is nothing a crowd loves more than being acknowledged and being considered a small part of the match. It makes them feel special and the more a wrestler does that for them, the bigger star they’ll become.

Anyway, even Heenan acknowledges that this team might not work. Oh great it’s the 1-2-3 Kid against Adam Bomb. He might kill him. GO BOMB! Now Diesel gets to beat on him a bit. I’ve always liked Diesel. Savage gets tagged in to a huge pop. Heenan dubs him Captain Schizo. That’s just humorous. He beats up the heel team by himself, capping it off by slamming Diesel and hitting the elbow to pin him for the first elimination.

Vince says that this match has been confusing. Why is that? It’s been very simple to me at least. In a weird sequence, Savage uses a bunch of left handed clotheslines. That just looked odd. Heenan asks if Vince has ever cheated anybody. Vince says of course not. That needs no jokes whatsoever. At this point, Marty still hasn’t been in yet. Must be a bad coke attack or something. IRS and Martel switch while the referee is with Savage. Of course it is allowed.

Heenan asks if Vince wants to be WWF President. Why take the second best job? This has been pretty solid so far. As Savage is beating the tar out of IRS, Crush comes out. Savage hits the floor immediately and goes after him. While he’s distracted, IRS rolls up Savage to pin him. Crush leaves and Savage chases him off. He goes into the back and we stay with Savage for THIRTY SECONDS.

Dude, you know there is that pesky little match going on out in the ring? You might want to take a look at it. I guess not. I know it doesn’t sound long, but missing thirty seconds of a match is a long time. Think about it like this: Hogan picked up Andre and pinned him inside of 30 seconds. Yeah that’s not important though. We’re back now with Bomb against Jannetty. A Razor’s Edge takes out IRS. For those of you keeping score, it’s Jannetty, Kid and Razor against Martel and Bomb.

We get a big brawl as Razor goes for another Edge, but IRS hits Razor in the ribs with the briefcase. He gets counted out as a result. We now get Kid against Martel, and naturally Kid gets a lot better against a smaller guy. Apparently you beat him by putting out some cookies and milk. He’ll run out and you beat him. Heenan is so brilliant it’s unbelievable. Now it’s standard heel dominance with the faces looking for the hot tag.

That’s very basic but very good at the same time. Jannetty comes in finally and beats up Martel for awhile and then tags in Kid, which makes limited sense but I’m no drug addled professional. Kid pins Martel with a sunset flip and then Marty gets Bomb with one as well about 12 seconds later to win it. That was a fun finish.

Rating: B. This was a fun match. It’s not great, but it’s entertaining and it made sense. The faces won with quickness over the power team and Savage dominated. Also Razor, the singles champion in there, saved face and set up a bigger feud with IRS. That is what these things are supposed to do. Overall, this was fun and it worked quite well, making it a very good opener and a good sign for this show.

Todd is with Shawn, who says he’s the real IC Champion and then he insults Bret and his family. This is miles better than last year as he’s finally got the Heart Break Kid character down. We go to an interview with the Harts from earlier in the day. Ray Combs, a game show host, is the special celebrity here doing the interview.

He’s far less annoying than the majority of these people. For some reason Stu is wearing a Detroit Pistons jacket for no apparent reason here as the show is in Boston. That’s just odd. Keith has a porn mustache that is really odd. Shawn says he’ll take out Stu if he gets in the way. Remember that line.

Before we go to the ring, we have a short interview with the winners of the previous match, minus Macho.

Hart Family vs. Shawn/Knights

Bret, Keith, Bruce, Owen

Shawn Michaels, Blue Knight (Greg Valentine), Red Knight (Barry Horowitz), Black Knight (Jeff Gaylord/Glenn Jacobs)

We’re actually not sure who the Black Knight is. If it’s Jacobs, that’s Kane. If it’s not, then this is his career highlight. This was supposed to be Jerry Lawler, but he was up on rape charges (the girl admitted she made the whole thing up), so they threw Shawn in and tried to make it based on the match from last year, which is at least an attempt at a story. Combs does the introductions here, and is ok I guess.

He does some standard jokes about HBK, but this goes on WAY too long and the fans just aren’t interested. It’s not as bad as Kid Rock at Mania, but it’s pretty bad. It goes on about 5 minutes, which is FAR too long for this. We’re at 10 minutes for the intros alone. This is just stupid. Bret is wearing pink. Only he can pull that off. Combs does commentary for the match as well. Heenan is in top form here insulting the Harts.

Monsoon reminds me of my uncle for some reason. We start out with Bruce, so you can tell what this is going to be. He’s a history teacher. Oh dear. Keith, the fireman, comes in. This cracks Heenan up. We see the problem here very easily: the two unknown Hart aren’t very good. All they know how to do is an armbar here and there. It’s just rather boring. Seriously, were Neidhart and Bulldog not available? They would be about a million times better here.

Heenan keeps talking about how Owen is in the shadow of Bret. That would turn into one of the best heel turns I can ever remember. Black Knight in now and Owen kicks his teeth in too. Now we have Bret against the Blue Guy. Heenan keeps teasing that he knows who the Knights are. When asked about the Blue Knight, he says that he’s either the Blue Knight or Bob Barker. This is being written two days after Barker hosted Raw, so that cracked me.

Why are the two unknown brothers wrestling most of this match? Seriously, that’s just stupid. The commentary is by far and away the best part of this match. Combs is pretty good actually. Granted he has no clue what’s going on, but his timing and enthusiasm are there. That’s all I ask: at least pretend you want to be there. Check out Pamela Anderson at the 95 Rumble. She hates the whole thing and is there for a paycheck. I have no interest in celebrities like that, no matter what they look like.

We get a big brawl and the Black Knight is pinned by a top rope dropkick from Owen. Ray thinks it’s over, and I have no issue with that because he’s energetic. He genuinely seems like he wants to be there, and I’m fine with him being a bit off if that’s the case. I’ve never gotten the point of them mentioning that a show is live when we’re watching it. It’s like a commercial for the show you’re watching. You’ve already hooked us, so we don’t need it again.

Vince: Bobby Heenan, you’re a bad man. That sums it up perfectly I’d say. Heenan reminds Vince that this is Survivor Series and Vince says he knows what it is. I wonder if he wanted to say “I know what it is, I invented it you fat blowhard!” Ok, now Keith has been in there forever, and we’re back to the stupid part. He’s been in there like 5 minutes and it’s been all arm work. Why not instead use one of the best sellers of all time?

Oh yeah because it would make SENSE! Heenan makes another great point: the Harts don’t look alike. He’s very right actually. Make that seven minutes. FINALLY a missed Rocket Launcher and Bret gets in to breathe some life into this thing. Red Knight is tapping in about 10 seconds and it’s 4-2. Bret is knocked to the floor and Keith goes over to check him. That makes sense since he’s been beaten on for about 8 minutes and is more or less one armed at this point.

I guess Owen and Bruce were busy? On the floor Stu is trying to rub his arm back into socket, which for once makes sense from a manager. Heenan gets in my favorite line of the match: “Hey, you wanna know who the Blue Knight is?” Vince says he would like to. “He’s the guy in the ring that just dropped an elbow on Bret Hart.” Vince walked right into that one.

FINALLY we have Bret vs. Shawn, 18 minutes into the freaking match. Yep this just makes so much sense. That’s the theme of this match: how much sense can we make? Heenan makes an America’s Most Wanted reference. Combs says Bobby could star on America’s Most Unwanted. We have a rival for Heenan. Shawn does indeed go after Stu, and he gets POPPED. I don’t mean some love tap, I mean Stu smacks the taste out of Shawn and the crowd is into this all of a sudden.

That was awesome and makes up for the rest of this match. Shawn sells it at an amazing level of course since that’s what he does. That was great. Even Heenan kisses up to Stu for a bit. That’s all the proof you need right there. Owen Sharpshooter ends the Knights and it’s 4-1. Immediately, Shawn hits a big kick on Bruce, which is now known as Sweet Chin Music. However, here it doesn’t work.

Wow, Bruce has a tougher chin than Bret. Maybe we had the wrong Hart all along. Bret comes in and beats on him but gets poked in the eye. He tags Owen but walks on the apron for no apparent reason. Shawn sends Owen into the ropes and therefore into Bret who knocks down the railing. Owen is concerned and rolls Shawn up to make it 3-1. The Harts beat on Shawn for awhile after Owen is FREAKING out on him.

They beat Shawn up really badly as Stu tries to calm him down. I have never gotten what Owen’s problem was here. He got pinned. His team still won, and it was his fault that he hit Bret. He didn’t have to look down at him. Anyway, Shawn bails and the celebration is on. Owen comes back and yells at the Harts who leave without them.

This was the beginning of the Owen heel turn, which was excellent on so many levels, with the biggest one ever being Owen pinning Bret clean in the best opening match of all time at Wrestlemania 10. The feud would continue at the Rumble, with Bret trying to get Owen his first championship by teaming up with him to fight for the tag titles.

Bret wrestled with a knee injury and they actually stopped the match for it. Owen was pissed and beat Bret up for it, which was the first time I agreed with a heel. It was Bret’s fault, not Owen’s. Oh yeah this match is over by the way. I’m just rambling on.

Rating: D+. This was just flat out BORING. It’s about 75% armbar. It’s a Chris Jericho joke apparently. Keith and Bruce were just flat out boring out there with no real offense at all, which is fine in that they hadn’t wrestled in years. That brings the question: WHY HAVE THEM? Seriously, all of the Harts are wrestlers. Were they all retired? Honestly, Neidhart at least would have made sense here. He’s a half brother and more importantly: HE WAS PASSABLE IN THE RING.

There’s history with him and Bret, and while he would play a role later in the angle, that wasn’t for almost a year. Seriously, they could have fit him in with him siding with Owen over this part of the feud. I don’t get it at all. Anyway, the match was just boring and it didn’t work that well. Shawn vs. Bret was good, but that’s all there was worth watching.

Gorilla and Ross are on commentary now.

We now get a random recap of the main event, despite there being two matches before that. Tatanka, who was undefeated for about two years got beaten up by Borga and Yoko to knock him out. He got replaced by a certain someone that I’ll get to at the time of the match.

To retaliate, Luger eliminated Pierre, which is somehow dumber than Luger is, so there we are. Pierre got replaced by Crush, which makes even less sense since he’s an American and was injured by the heels in the first place, but then again I’m no professional.

Smokey Mountain Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies

Now this is a real headscratcher for about 10 reasons. Where to begin? Let’s see. For one thing, the Smokey Mountains are nowhere NEAR Boston. Second, what is Vince getting out of this? Cornette I suppose. Third, why aren’t we seeing the WWF Tag Titles defended here? Fourth, it’s freaking SMW. That just makes no sense. Fifth, why are Ross and Gorilla doing the commentary here?

Anyway, this is a very old school style match with the standard Midnights vs. RNRE formula: faces dominate early, heels take over and beat on Morton FOREVER until the hot tag and the very fast paced stuff from the Express and then the finish. Yeah I know that’s not much to go on, but it’s the generic yet great formula from the RNRE that made them and the Midnights the best act in the world. If you like modern tag wrestling, those four are who you have to thank for it.

It’s a very solid match of course, but it would have been perfect if it was Lane and Condrey or Eaton over there instead. The Bodies were a team that the WWF tried to make cool but they just never could pull it off. SMW was Cornette’s big attempt at running his own company and he did pretty well considering what he was up against. For one thing, wrestling was just bad when he tried to do it, but it ran nearly five years and he did pretty well with what he had.

Heck he’s got matches on Survivor Series. Anyway, this was the big feud in SMW, and while there it was the feud of the promotion, here’s it’s four guys that no one knows wrestling, and that’s the problem. No one knows these people and for the most part, no one cares. Boston has always been a WWF town, so this old school mentality and style is lost on them.

It’s a great match, but they just don’t get it and a big part of that is due to the wrestlers. It’s like Japanese wrestlers in America. If the people don’t get it, they’re not going to care. Anyway, after about 15 minutes, Cornette hits Gibson with the racket to give the Bodies the belts. Yeah that’s about it.

Rating: B. This was good, but like I said, the lack of anything close to recognition really hurt this one. The match is great, but most people that aren’t old school fans won’t like it. That hurt here too as the crowd only popped for big spots, which is fine for the most part, but they just sounded bored. That’s not fine.

The faces say that they’ll win tonight.

Four Doinks vs. Headshrinkers/Bastian Booger/Bam Bam Bigelow

Oh this isn’t going to be pleasant is it? The Four Doinks are Men on a Mission and the Bushwakers instead of you know, Doink and three other guys. Yeah that’s what we’re dealing with here. Doink is injured so we get these four. I have no idea which one is the most talented. Actually I don’t think any of them have talent so we’ll skip that part. Oh boy this is going to suck badly. Oh look it’s a comedy match. The Bushwackers have balloons.

Ooo good boy Samu bite them! Wait, what? He bit a balloon with water in it and it surprised him, leading to him getting rolled up. Ok, reasons why this is stupid. He’s a freaking savage and he’s scared of water? Second, couldn’t he see the water or feel the balloon actually weighing something? Booger comes in and beats on the faces for awhile and….there’s a banana peel in the ring. I’m pausing now to take some deep breaths.

There is no way that could happen is there? They couldn’t actually be planning on doing what I think they’re planning on doing could they? Someone tell me that’s not what they’re planning to do. I need to hear someone say it. Ok thank goodness: Booger just got pinned by a big splash instead.

That’s at least reasonable coming from the big fat tub of goo known as Mable. And Fatu just slipped on the banana and got pinned. That does it. Screw this. I have better things to do with my time than review a circus. Keep laughing Vince. I won’t be able to hear you.

Rating: N/A. I review wrestling. This wasn’t wrestling.

Cornette and the heel team have something to say. Cornette cuts perhaps the best promo I’ve ever heard him cut as he talks about the Foreign Fanatics’ strategy for tonight. He says that they see the face team as one man because they’re a unit. The Steiners are the heart of the team. If you take away a man’s heart, he has no energy or desire to do anything. The Undertaker is the mind of the team.

If you take away a man’s mind, he’s dazed and confused. Luger is the soul of the team. And if you take away a man’s soul, then you’ve defeated him. And that my friends, is why Jim Cornette is one of the best talkers of all time. Oh and Johnny “Raven” Polo is in the background. Dang talk about a character change. He would be Raven in less than a year.

Vince decides to give a clichéd history themed intro to this match. Yeah this is dumb.

Foreign Fanatics vs. All Americans

All Americans: Luger, Steiners, Undertaker

Foreign Fanatics: Yokozuna, Ludvig Borga, Crush, Jacques Quebecer (yes that’s what they call him)

First of all, since I love it so much, here’s the way the All Americans replaced Tatanka.

No real reason for that. I just really like it. Anyway, onto the match itself. After about 8 minutes of introductions (my least favorite part of these shows), we’re ready to go. Borga comes out to Nikolai Volkoff’s music. That might be the other way around. I’m not sure. In case I haven’t explained, the feuds were supposed to be Luger vs. Yoko, Tatanka vs. Borga and Steiners vs. Quebecers, which at least makes sense.

Due to either injuries or Vince being really high one night, this is what we’ve got instead. Heenan sees a sign that says Yokotuna. I’ve been calling him that for years and have never been able to figure out where I got it from. Now I have my answer. I knew there was a point to me watching this all over again. We start with more stalling as no two want to start. Scott and Pierre finally start us off. The heels have Fuji, Polo and Cornette at ringside.

In other words we have WWF, NWA and ECW out there. Well no one can say they didn’t incorporate everyone. Pierre offers a handshake and Scott gives the screw you sign. Yep Scott is a great role model. Yoko is world champion here which is pointed out as he comes in. Rick manages to knock him to the floor which is actually surprising. Ludvig comes in now and Rick manages to beat him up. Naturally since Rick is doing well, he gets eliminated about 20 seconds later.

Upon further review though, I think this was a legit injury. He hits a top rope shoulder block and Borga just kind of flips him over and pins him. You can tell Vince is surprised too. Yeah he’s limping out after nothing was done to his lower body so I’m thinking he pulled something.

In the main event with a guy dominating even the WWF isn’t dumb enough to get rid of him after just five minutes. Yeah that was a legit injury. It was WAY too fast to have been planned that way. Given the stalling now to buy time for Rick to get out of there, yeah I’m convinced this is an injury. Just to reiterate: I think it was a legit injury.

Scott hits a pretty nice double underhook suplex on Crush. We get word that Savage is back in the building. Is that really surprising? He was there earlier, so why would it be odd that he’s back? Yep here he comes. While this is happening, Crush picks up Scott and just drops him over the top rope. That was sick. They get Savage out and say he’s out of the building. I’ll be checking my watch now to see how long it takes him to get back. My bet is three minutes.

Heenan talks about how Fuji has turned Crush into a heel and that he can see some gold in his future. That likely would have happened had it not been for…some unknown reason. Initially he was supposed to have Luger’s role but I guess they thought Crush wasn’t ready or something and this is what you got instead. Dang it was only two minutes. Scott (called the Steiner) sends him to the floor and Crush goes after Savage.

This gets him counted out as the crowd is completely insane for this. This was begging for a big time cage match. Why in the world Savage was turned into a big bunch of nothing instead of the top face is beyond me. He clearly was still able to go as he would be winning world titles nearly seven years after this and he was WAY over, but I guess he was hanging out with Stephanie too much around this time and if you don’t get that reference, look it up.

Now it’s Pierre vs. Scott as Luger or Taker haven’t been in yet. Pierre gets a three by mistake but they say it was a two which anyone that can see or hear could tell you was incorrect. Vince keeps calling them the Quebecer and the Steiner. Luger finally comes in and an elbow from the second rope puts Pierre out. It’s 3-2 now if you’re keeping score. We get word that Savage has been throw out again and just as I’m getting ready to type it, Heenan asks how he keeps getting in. Is he Batman?

He suggests that Savage hangs out in the rafters. No Bobby that wouldn’t be for about 4 more years. Steiner and Borga have a decent battle as there is still no Taker in this match, which I guess makes something close to sense: save your big gun for the end. Steiner wants to try the Frankensteiner. Yeah that was just freaking stupid. He gets hit by a massive leg drop to end him and make it 2-2.

Luger and Yoko start with the rematch from Summerslam. The idea is that Luger isn’t allowed to have a rematch no matter what. Eventually he gets a rematch if he can win the Rumble, which he ties in. That could have been a great story if he ever actually won the title. It became like Jeff Hardy for awhile, but the difference was that Jeff finally won the freaking belt and gave us the awesome moment.

Luger never had that moment and it made the rest look bad by comparison. Heenan is asked where he gets his material and he says open your eyes. That’s just odd. After Yoko misses a splash, Luger makes the big tag to Taker and the fans are FREAKING OUT. A swinging DDT nearly kills Yoko and Borga nails him to try to break the momentum. Taker turns and just smacks him as if to say boy please I’m the dead man.

The big belly to belly gets nothing as Taker sits up to another huge pop. If you want to know one of the biggest reasons for why Taker got over, it’s called Bobby Heenan. He was awesome with putting him over. Yoko hits the Banzai then goes for a second and Taker sits up again. It’s just awesome all around as even Heenan can’t talk. Think about that for a second.

They fight to the floor, which is to say Taker beats on him for a bit longer as we get the inevitable double count out and we have our Royal Rumble main event. So it’s now one on one and I think you know the drill. It’s more or less a six minute match with the usual interference and the forearm ends it.

Yeah there’s nothing more to say about this. Just like last year, it starts to snow and freaking Santa Claus comes out. I have never gotten what they were going for with this and I think this was the last time that they did it which is likely a good thing.

Rating: C-. It was long and rather dull, but it did what it was supposed to do in advancing the stories. Luger beats Borga clean and Taker vs. Yoko is set. Also the fans went home happy and Luger looks big and invincible again so I can’t really complain. It could have been better but it certainly could have been worse so we’ll say it’s just below average.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s some good and some awful on here, so we’ll say it balances out. Some people would love this and some would hate it. I thought it was ok, but the comedy match was just a disgrace and the main event was just ok. The first match and the tag match were solid enough though.

There are definitely moments here where you’ll be bored out of your mind but there are moments where you’ll be entertained, which I think slightly outweigh the bad. That’s good enough for a mild recommendation I guess. It’s nothing special and it’s not horrible I suppose, but don’t expect to be blown away.

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