Dynamite
Date: January 6, 2021
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Excalibur, Chris Jericho, Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

We’re back to something close to normal after last week’s incredible tribute show. Now it’s time for the first half of the New Year’s Smash event, featuring Kenny Omega defending the World Title against Rey Fenix. That alone should be worth everything else and hopefully it lives up to the hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

SCU/Young Bucks vs. Acclaimed/Hybrid 2

The Acclaimed rap their way to the ring again, saying they’re the John Cena guys and SCU are Jannetty. Daniels and Bowens start things off and everything breaks down in a few seconds. Triple dives take out the villains, leaving Kazarian to flip over Bowens’ back. The Bucks come back in for the pop up dropkick to Jack Evans and Nick Jackson hits the springboard armdrag/headscissors combination to the Hybrid 2.

There’s the big corkscrew dive for a bonus but Bowens breaks up the Arabian Moonsault onto the pile. The Acclaimed starts in with the double teaming on Daniels, including a basement dropkick for two. It’s off to Angelico to work on the arm, setting up a belly to back suplex/springboard double stomp for another near fall. Bowens hits a Blockbuster into Castor’s top rope elbow into Evans’ 450 into a double arm crank from Angelico.

The Blue Thunder Bomb plants Bowens and gets Daniels out of trouble though, allowing the hot tag to Kazarian. Everything breaks down again and Matt gets to clean house with the flips, followed by a spear to take down Angelico on the floor. There’s another dive to take out Angelico and Castor, setting up a top rope splash/standing moonsault combination for two on Bowens.

The Buckle Bomb into a double enziguri sets up a slingshot legdrop for two more as Jericho is losing it on the near falls. Kazarian and Nick combine for the BTE Trigger and another near fall, setting up Angelico’s swinging Downward Spiral. Evans’ 630 hits raised knees so the Bucks superkick everyone. The Meltzer Driver is broken up so Nick dives onto the pile on the floor. The Best Meltzer Ever finishes Castor at 10:00.

Rating: C+. The action was good and they were flying around well, but I really could go for a breather from these multi team tag matches. There are so many people at once and it gets a little more confusing than it needs to be. It was still good enough, but it’s not something that is going to stand out.

Post match Kazarian says he and Daniels have the Bucks’ back, at least until they’re challenging for the titles. Hands are shaken.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Here’s Jon Moxley for his first in-arena appearance since losing the World Title. A lot of people expect him to be out here ranting and raving but he is used to a hard time. That is what he is getting again, but this time he is gritting his teeth, battoning down and getting back into it. Moxley promises to go after Don Callis and Kenny Omega to leave them bloody with a crowbar. As for tonight though, Omega is defending against Rey Fenix, and Moxley isn’t going to interfere with Fenix’s destiny. That isn’t it for Moxley and Omega though, because Moxley has forever.

Chuck Taylor says Trent is going to be out 4-5 months with a torn pectoral muscle. Cue Miro, with Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford, to laugh at him. The time off means that Taylor is out of action for the same 4-5 months, with Miro saying he can be a young boy. Miro has an offer: they can face each other next week and if Miro loses, he’ll leave. If he wins though. Taylor has to be Miro’s young boy until the wedding. Taylor can’t accept fast enough.

Jake Hager vs. Wardlow

Earlier today, Wardlow promised to take care of his family and Hager at the same time. They go to the grappling with Wardlow managing to survive and get back to an armbar. Wardlow takes him down again and it’s time to get serious. Hager takes him into the corner for rights and lefts but Wardlow is out in a hurry. They crash into each other and fall to the floor, meaning we take a break.

Back with Hager being sent into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. A spinebuster plants Hager again and a suplex slam gives Wardlow two. The F10 is broken up and Hager hits a bunch of clotheslines in the corner. Wardlow sends him out to the apron though and then into the barricade. Back in and Wardlow hits the Swanton but Hager rolls into the triangle. Hager choke some more and takes him all the way to the top. That lets Hager grab the head and arm on the top, only to get sent into the turnbuckle. The F10 finishes Hager 10:35.

Rating: B-. These guys beat the heck out of each other and that’s all they needed to do here. Wardlow is going to get a lot more out of the win than Hager would have gotten so they had the right result. I’m not sure if this is going to be it for these two, but Wardlow winning is the best thing possible.

Respect is begrudgingly shown post match.

Private Party can’t get the gin and juice right so here’s Snoop Dogg to give them the drink. Hugs ensue and Matt Hardy pops in to say that he has Private Party’s new contracts. Private Party has to give Matt 30% of everything but they get their Twitch and Cameo and all that good stuff. Works for them, so they sign.

It’s time for the weigh-in between Brian Cage and Darby Allin for next week’s TNT Title (with the new design debuting) match. Cage weighs 272lbs and Allin is 170, so Taz laughs at Allin’s gear weighing him down. Allin says he knows how this ends so let’s get rid of the garbage and get to the good part. Cue Sting for the save so Team Taz leaves, with Taz swearing a new champion next week. Sting and Allin stare at each other a lot.

MJF hears Hager freaking out and has to place peacemaker. Hager calms down and looks a good bit happier.

We look at Marko Stunt meeting -1 on Dark and getting insulted.

Jurassic Express are ready to get the Tag Team Titles back but here’s FTR to provoke Marko. He promises to win next week and has to be held back.

Cody Rhodes vs. Matt Sydal

Snoop Dogg is here with Cody. They run the ropes to start with Sydal kicking him in the leg and snapping off an armdrag. As Snoop does an Arm Anderson imitation (with the play card), the running dropkick in the corner gives Sydal two and Cody is sent out to the ramp. Sydal hits the top rope Meteora for two and they head back inside, where Cody’s skinning the cat is broken up. They’re outside again but this time Cody accidentally hits Serpentico with a right hand before being torn back inside. Sydal hits the high Crossbody but Cody rolls through into a Texas Cloverleaf.

The rope is grabbed though and we take a quick break. Back with Cody hitting a reverse superplex for two but Sydal is back with a jumping knee to the face. The shooting star press hits knees but Sydal spins around, looking to set up the camel clutch. With that broken up, Sydal kicks him in the head, only to have a Cactus Clothesline put them both on the floor. Back in and they try a standing switch until Sydal jumps on his shoulders for a hurricanrana. The Lightning Spiral gives Sydal two but Cody ducks the jumping knee. Back to back Cross Rhodes finish Sydal at 10:02.

Rating: C+. This was one of Sydal’s better matches in AEW and that shouldn’t be the biggest surprise. Cody has a habit of being able to make people look better and while Sydal doesn’t often look back, he isn’t the most interesting. Snoop Dogg was the point here and he got to show off the unique charisma on the floor, which is probably the best thing he could do.

Post match the Chaos Project comes in to jump Cody but Snoop makes the save and hits a top rope splash (or something far, far from one), with Sydal counting the pin.

Women’s Title: Abadon vs. Hikaru Shida

Shida is defending and gets jumped on the ramp. That’s fine with Shida, who cracks her in the head with the kendo stick, but Abadon pops back up. They get inside with Shida hammering away as we get the opening bell. Abadon gets knocked to the apron so Shida kicks at the head and hammers away.

They head outside with Abadon biting the thigh and then dragging Shida underneath the ring. Abadon comes back out first, followed by Shida….whose neck is rather bloody, ala a few weeks back. They head back in, with Abadon slamming her head into the mat. We take a break and come back with Shida pulling Abadon up top for a superplex. Abadon pops back up with a big clothesline but Shida grabs a rollup for two. Shida’s running knee retains the title at 8:27.

Rating: C. Abadon is certainly freaky enough to get your attention, but my goodness Shida is one of the least interesting people going today. She has a weird outfit and hits running knees. Is there anything else to her that I’m missing? I’m not sure where her reign leads but it would be nice to see her moving on to something else in a hurry.

Here’s what’s coming next week, including Tay Conti challenging Serena Deeb for the NWA Women’s Title.

Conti promises to win because she’ll have the Dark Order with her.

AEW World Title: Kenny Omega vs. Rey Fenix

Fenix is challenging and Omega has Don Callis in his corner. Omega goes to the hammerlock to start so Fenix snaps off flying mare. That earns him a spike hurricanrana so Fenix is back with a hurricanrana of his own for the escape. Omega is sent outside for another hurricanrana from the apron into the big crash. Back in and Omega counters a tornado DDT before chopping Fenix out of the air to break up a springboard.

They head outside with Omega sending him into the barricade a few times, only to have Fenix hit a kick to the head. The rolling cutter is blocked though and the Snapdragon knocks Metalik silly. Fenix gets planted again, followed by being thrown inside for the Kitaro Crusher. The chop off goes to Omega but Fenix starts kicking away, setting up a double springboard dropkick. Omega falls to the floor and Fenix hits the big running flip dive.

Back in and Fenix hits a moonsault into a German suplex for two, followed by a springboard double stomp to the back of Omega’s neck. We take a break and come back with an exchange of kicks to the head for a double knockdown. Omega hits the V Trigger but Fenix gets out to the ramp.

A Callis distraction lets Omega get in a shot of his own but Fenix is right back with the Fire Thunder Driver for two more. The frog splash hits Omega’s raised knees and Fenix is in trouble again. Fenix gets to the top and kicks Omega away, only to flip dive into a tiger driver. The V Trigger connects for two, followed by the One Winged Angel to retain the title at 17:50.

Rating: B. That catch off the ropes was worth the watch alone and these two had a great match to go with it. Fenix is such an amazing high flier and it’s always worth seeing whatever he is doing. There was no drama about a title change, but just seeing Omega in the ring feels like a big deal so it’s a fine choice for a main event.

Post match Omega and Callis get in the ring and say they have a bonus in mind. They beat Fenix, so now they can end his career. We cut to the back though where Butcher and Eddie Kingston have jumped Pac and Pentagon. Fenix goes after Fenix again but here’s Jon Moxley with the barbed wire baseball bat for the save.

Cue the Good Brothers (Karl Anderson/Doc Gallows), the Impact Wrestling Tag Team Champions, to take Moxley out. The Magic Killer plants Moxley so Omega unloads with the bat. Wrestlers start jumping the barricade for the failed save attempts and chaos reigns. Cue the Young Bucks to grab the bat….and then superkick Garrison and Pillman. Omega and the Good Brothers do the Too Sweet pose and the Bucks eventually join in to end the show. I know it’s going to get a great reaction but I’m not exactly thrilled in seeing the big heel stable again. It should wind up working though, as tends to be the case around here.

Overall Rating: B+. I’m digging where things are going around here for the most part as you can start seeing the pay per view card taking shape if you squint hard enough. The wrestling was rather good for the most part and they’re setting up the stuff when they need to. The ending is going to be a wait and see thing, but seeing a bunch of the bosses and their New Japan buddies on top isn’t quite thrilling. Anyway, pretty great show though, and I liked it a lot.

Results

Young Bucks/SCU b. Hybrid 2/Acclaimed – Best Meltzer Ever to Castor

Wardlow b. Jake Hager – F10

Cody Rhodes b. Matt Sydal – Cross Rhodes

Hikaru Shida b. Abadon – Running kneed

Kenny Omega b. Rey Fenix – One Winged Angel

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Ring of Honor
Date: December 30, 2020
Location: UMBC Events Center, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Caprice Coleman

It’s time for a Christmas special with the annual Christmas Surprise tag team match. In other words, there will be two captains (the Briscoes in this case) and they will draw four names to make a random ten man tag. That’s better than having some random singles matches to fill in time until we get to the Final Battle fallout. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

It’s time to pick some names, so Jay Briscoe picks….well we’ll find out later.

Eric Martin and Ken Dixon are rookies from the ROH Dojo and while they don’t have a ton of experience. Martin likes to take it to people but seems a bit low key. Dixon on the other hand is a bit of a good old boy who likes the idea of getting paid for something that would usually get you arrested.

Dante Caballero and Joe Keys are from the MCW Training Center and they know Dixon from training. They started wrestling together but found out that they were in over their head. Jonathan Gresham helped them take away everything else and get back to basics. Tonight they’re here to prove that they belong.

Dante Caballero/Joe Keys vs. Eric Martin/Ken Dixon

They’re all in the basic black trunks because Ring of Honor REALLY wants to be New Japan. Caballero and Dixon go to the mat to start with Caballero getting two off a hammerlock into a crucifix. Martin comes in and it’s some double teaming to put Caballero in trouble in the corner. A quick escape allows the tag to Keys, who is dropkicked down in a hurry. Dixon shoulders Keys down for two and a hard whip into the corner sends us to a break. Back with Dixon coming in again and letting Keys make the tag.

Keys slams Martin down and dives over for the tag to Caballero to start the comeback. The Crossface is broken up by Dixon, who snaps off a powerslam for two on Caballero. The hot tag brings Keys back in and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker hits Dixon. There’s a Swan Dive to Dixon as well but it bangs Keys up at the same time. He’s fine enough to grab a half crab, which is broken up in a hurry too. Caballero comes back in with a spear though and a half crab makes Dixon tap at 12:14.

Rating: C. The match was your standard run of the mill low level tag match, but can we please drop the “we’ve stripped them of their identities deal?” I know it’s what New Japan does and ROH loves itself some New Japan, but these people have a history and Caballero was already in the Top Prospect Tournament with his full deal. It’s ok to do something of your own instead of copying someone else. Stop overthinking it.

Mark Briscoe doesn’t like that his older brother got first pick of the presents but he seems happy with his choices too.

Brian Johnson joins commentary and has Team Bozo shirts for Ian and Caprice.

Team Mark vs. Team Jay

Team Mark: Mark Briscoe, Beer City Bruiser, Dak Draper, Tracy Williams, Dalton Castle

Team Jay: Jay Briscoe, Flip Gordon, Brawler Milonas, John Walters, PCO

In a nice bonus, each wrestler’s stats are replaced with their Christmas wish list. I can always appreciate little touches like that as they show some thinking and effort. Walters and Williams go technical (stunning indeed) to start with Williams snapping off an armdrag for a standoff. Draper comes in and gets dropkicked by Gordon, who grabs a choke for a bonus. Milonas comes in and gets to face…..the Bruiser, as the Colossal Jostle is on. Bruiser gets knocked down but misses the legdrop, setting up the stereo crossbodies.

Castle, in a turtleneck, comes in to face PCO and I want these two in a buddy cop comedy. PCO doesn’t like being sent into the buckle as commentary brags about Jim Cornette’s endorsement. We take a break and come back with a fired up PCO saying bring it on. Castle thinks about it but hands it off to Mark instead. Jay comes in as well and it’s time to run the ropes. That doesn’t suit them though and the slugout is on, drawing in everyone else for more of the same.

Flip hits a big springboard flip dive onto Bruiser, followed by PCO diving onto just about everyone. Back in and Jay uppercuts Mark, followed by Walters getting two off an elbow to the face. PCO comes in to whip Mark into the corner but Mark elbows Walters down and hands it off to Bruiser as we take another break. Back again with Mark chopping at Walters as commentary wonders about a Briscoe Family Christmas. Ian: “Family matters to the Briscoes.” Johnson: “Family matters? Urkel wouldn’t even hang out with those two!” Ian: “Well Laura would.” And that’s why I smile at Ian Riccaboni’s commentary.

The nerve hold has Walters in trouble and a chokeslam into a cutter (cool) puts Walters down again. That makes everything break down and we hit the parade of secondary finishers. Walters triangle chokes Williams but Bruiser breaks it up with a frog splash. PCO runs Draper over and finishes with the PCOsault at 17:31.

Rating: B-. This was the usual fun, completely irrelevant and entertaining match that we always get out of the Christmas special. You don’t need to do anything more than have a laid back match here but there are enough people to set up some interesting matchups. It’s a fun tradition and they did well with it here so nice job.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s a Christmas special so it isn’t the kind of show you can complain about all that much. The main event was fun and the opener was fine (annoying visuals aside) and….well what else are you wanting on a show like this? They always take a break around Christmas and this was perfectly acceptable all around.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 1996
Date: January 21, 1996
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

We open with Sunny in a bathtub, saying this show is graphic and view discretion is advised.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Rating: C-. I was always an Ahmed fan so this was an easy pass for me. The image of the Swanton looked great if nothing else, which is more than enough to give this a pass. Jarrett was such a mess at this point and never went anywhere in the WWF. The ending completely sucked though and it really brought things down.

BUY OUR STUFF!

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

The Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Prichard with a BIG haircut). They have Sunny with them and my goodness is she smoking (no pun intended) here. The Guns are defending. Skip and Billy start things off with Skip taking over with a headscissors. Just like Ahmed earlier, Billy misses a charge against the ropes and crashes to the outside. Both Gunns get double teamed until Bart ducks out of the way, allowing a charging Billy to dive onto both Donnas on the floor.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust

The yet to be named Marlena debuts with Goldie here. Razor is defending as is his custom. Feeling out process to start with Goldust playing his usual mind games, which means rubbing himself. Razor cranks on the arm before grabbing a headlock which goes nowhere. Goldust goes behind Razor and molests him a bit to psych Razor out even more. They head to the corner with Razor having his head rubbed a bit, ticking him off even more.

Razor goes for the arm so Goldust slaps him in the face. Perfect keeps making sex jokes as Razor slaps Goldust right back in the face. He spanks Goldie once as well, but the painted dude likes it. We head to the floor where Goldust hides behind Marlena as the stalling continues. Back in and Razor tries three straight headscissors before punching Goldust to the floor with a single shot.

We get more stalling which is called playing mind games before Ramon clotheslines him right back to the outside. Razor has to move Marlena out of the way, allowing Goldust to FINALLY do something, taking over with a shot to the ribs. Back in and Goldust focuses on the ribs, but not too much because that might mean we have some speed to this match. A bulldog gets two for Goldust as does a slingshot belly to back suplex.

Rating: D-. Sweet freaking goodness this was dull. It went on WAY too long and had a bad ending on top of that, plus the stupid “psychology” from Goldust which wound up being more unpleasant than interesting or intelligent. Goldust would get WAY better when he became more of a comedy/parody character rather than this freaky dude that he was to start his WWF run. The matches got a lot better as a result too.

Wrestlemania 12 is coming.

Vince and Perfect talk about the Rumble a bit.

Royal Rumble

Vader debuts at #13 and lumbers around while not doing much. He picks Bob Holly of all people to beat on first as Vega eliminates Dory. Vader pulls Savio back in from the apron for no apparent reason other than he wants to beat on him some more. Doug Gilbert from Memphis is #14 and HHH goes right after him for no apparent reason. Vader and Yoko slug it out to a big reaction but Vader has to stop to clothesline Roberts out.

Shawn does his usual overblown self safe as Holly and Austin fight. FINALLY Holly goes out after nearly forty minutes. HHH vs. Austin happens about three years before it would mean anything. Barry Horowitz (with the AWESOME rock version of Hava Nagila) is #25 and he goes after Diesel. Well no one ever accused him of being brilliant. Shawn nips up to knock Owen to the apron, but Hart skins the cat back in. Cool little sequence there.

Smith and Michaels fight to the floor and Owen jumps Shawn for good measure. Shawn shrugs it off and goes in to dropkick Yankem out. Kama and Diesel put out Droese to get us down to four. Shawn clotheslines Smith out before skinning the cat back in. Diesel dumps Kama and Shawn superkicks the tall one (in the shoulder) out to win for the second year in a row.

Diesel is ticked off about the ending and goes back in as Shawn is stripping. They do their old Wolfpack thing in the middle of the ring (a high five where Shawn has to jump) and all is cool. Shawn poses for a long time post match.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

Rating: D+. This started VERY slow but got better for the last ten minutes or so, but the ending brings it right back down again. If this had been a fifteen minute match or so it would have been WAY better, but they only had so many other matches on the card, meaning this had to be longer. Diesel would face Taker at Mania of course.

Gorilla Monsoon makes Diesel vs. Bret for the title at the next PPV.

Shawn says the 90s will be his time.

Cornette says Vader cannot be ignored. He pretty much was until Summerslam.

Ratings Comparison

Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

Original: D

Redo: C-

Goldust vs. Razor Ramon

Original: D

Redo: D-

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Undertaker

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D-

Redo: D

Amazingly enough I liked it a bit better this time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/15/royal-rumble-count-up-1996-shawns-texas-two-step/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Royal Rumble 1996
Date: January 21, 1996
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

Well it’s a year later and the roster is more or less the same. There are a few changes though. The biggest is Shawn has finally given up and turned face thank goodness and Taker is back in the title hunt. Bret has the title again and is facing him in the main event. Other than that, there’s a few new guys but a lot of this is the same. Nitro has debuted so the war has almost started.

The rest of the card looks similar to what we had last year with all three titles on the line plus the Rumble and one other match, but this just looks miles more interesting for some reason. The Rumble roster still looks weak but far better than it did before. This flat out can’t be less interesting than last year so let’s go.

I almost forgot: Shawn has been out with a ton of injuries including the concussion kick from Owen and tonight is his big return, so that’s easily your biggest story of the night here.

Oh yeah and a guy named Hunter Hearst Helmsley debuted. A bald guy from Texas is here too. They’ll never mean a thing.

There was a preshow match with HHH vs. Duke Droese. The winner got 30 and the loser got #1. Amazingly, HHH lost so there we are.

Sunny is in a bathtub and says that tonight’s show is viewer discretion advised. My goodness she was perfect. Anyway, Bret vs. Taker is previewed, along with a few other matches. There’s a picture of Razor hitting a belly to back suplex off the middle rope on someone. That someone: Jeff Hardy. Oh yeah and there’s that Rumble thing too. Finally, there’s talk of some monster showing up tonight. Some guy called Vader I think.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Ahmed is a relative rookie here, having been around for just a few months here. In other words, this should be a slaughter. This is fallout from Jarrett breaking a gold record over Ahmed’s head at the previous In Your House. I love how I now have seen that match and reviewed it as it ties things together a bit. In case you’ve never seen him, Ahmed is a freaking tank.

He’s more cut up than Ezekiel Jackson and even scarier looking. The only problem was he wasn’t as talented either. He’s killing Jarrett though so there we are. He was supposed to become world champion actually but he couldn’t stay healthy. There have been a ton of clotheslines in this match to say the least. I don’t mean a bunch in a row, but a bunch over a fairly spread out period of time.

Why is it that when something happens it’s unbelievable to Vince? He saw it happen so apparently it’s not too farfetched. Johnson is hulking up. That can’t be a good sign. Jarrett continues to imitate Ric Flair without the success by getting Ahmed in the figure four. You know considering how awesome Ahmed was, this is just really boring.

After powering out of that, Jarrett goes to the top with the guitar and El Kabong is enough for the DQ. Ahmed just stood there and waited to get hit in the head. Jarrett leaves and of course Ahmed is up in about 18 seconds and not even shaking it off. That was odd.

Rating: D+. Uh yeah. I’m not sure what to say about this one as it just wasn’t that good at all. Ahmed wasn’t really sloppy, but he certainly was limited. I’m not entirely sure why they had Jarrett not get pinned here. He really had nothing to lose here as he would be gone less than ten months later. Ahmed was supposed to look great here but he just didn’t, plain and simple. This is more of a headscratcher than anything else.

Buy WWF stuff, t-shirts in this case.

Billy and Bart, looking straight out of the 70s and 80s say they’re going to keep their titles. My goodness they were so painfully bland it’s painful.

Diesel says heelish things despite still being a face officially I guess. He mentions not having a problem with Taker, and we have a feud on the rise.

Tag Titles: Smoking Guns vs. Body Donnas

Sunny was hotter than anything on the planet, period. The Body Donnas are Tom Pritchard and Chris Candido, more commonly known as Chris Candido. Sunny starts off in the ring by saying ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages. Holy stolen ring intro in a few years. Sunny of course gets the biggest pop of everyone. She’s 23 here and was screwing Bret Hart at the time, so there we are.

We get an upskirt shot of Sunny which leaves Perfect speechless. In case you can’t tell, no one cares about the match but only Sunny. She really was excellent at getting all of the attention on her which is very good to be able to do. The Guns are giants compared to the heels. After the Donnas desperately try (and fail) to take over, Sunny is knocked to the floor. The only good thing is a nice back shot but whatever.

Perfect: she could have been hurt! Vince: she may be hurt! Thanks for being original McMahon. Naturally she was faking (don’t you hate when women do that?) and the Donnas get the advantage. Vince calls Zip Flip so there we are: we have found a gimmick so bad that even Vince McMahon can’t remember their stupid names. In a cool spot, Zip hooks his partner in a gutwrench release powerbomb (think Jack Swagger’s move but he just lets the guy go) onto Billy.

That was different as Perfect says. Since this match has been the most intelligent of all time, we have another odd spot as Skip runs into Zip and Zip is knocked into Billy so everyone is down. It leads to the cold tag to Bart who cleans house. Vince says he hits Skip or Zip or whatever his name is. Since it’s 1996, we can’t have a regular ending, so instead the Guns hit the Sidewinder (backbreaker/leg drop from the top) but Sunny distracts the referee.

In a bad looking spot, Billy sees Skip on the top rope clearly, but goes after Sunny instead. It was one of those moments that wasn’t supposed to look bad but accidentally did. The Donnas go for a double suplex but Billy spears one of them so that Bart lands on the other guy for the pin. Yep, that was stupid.

Rating: D. This show really isn’t starting out well at all. This was somehow worse than the previous match. Literally, looking at Sunny is all that this is good for. The match itself is just bad, the booking is weird and the ending leaves something to be desired. The Guns would forfeit the belts in about a month due to injury and the Donnas would get them in a tournament just before Mania, as in about 20 minutes before.

We see a big thing of the Billionaire Ted skits. These were funny at the time, but allegedly they ticked off Ted Turner so much that he revamped WCW, so in essence they nearly killed Vince’s company. There we go then.

Recap of Razor vs. Goldust. In essence, Goldust wants Razor, as in the way I want Ellen Page, so that apparently made Razor put the title on the line. Yeah that makes perfect sense.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. Razor Ramon

Goldust debuted the night before Ahmed so there we are. Hey did you know that Goldust is bizarre? We need to make sure you know that he’s bizarre. Vince says don’t adjust your televisions. I’ve never gotten that expression. How many people actually get up and adjust televisions? What was going to go wrong with it in the last 10 seconds or so since the last segment ended?

Are we supposed to believe that it wasn’t right before? Also, if you have a really fuzzy picture and you had really bad eyesight, would it eventually look normal? Apparently the noise at the beginning of Razor’s music is from screeching tires. What vehicle is making that noise? This is Marlena’s debut as well. She looked really good back at this point.

In a funny moment, Vince goes over the rules to how you win a title and Perfect almost yells about how he’s won the title twice so why does he need to have it explained to him? That’s a really funny point when you think about it very little. Goldy grabs Razor’s chest a few minutes in so there we go. When asked about what he would do against Goldust, Perfect replies with kick him in the face.

I love Mr. Perfect, if nothing else for the rampant sex jokes and innuendos he’s dropping here. At one point when they’re fighting on the floor someone shouts out that Marlena has a nice rack, which is very true. This match seems like it keeps starting and stopping. They’ll do a bit and then Goldust will go all freaky. That’s fine for character development, but it makes for some bad matches which is what’s happening here.

We do however get a cool spot as Goldust hits a slingshot belly to back suplex that I’ve never seen before. Other than that though, there’s just not a lot to talk about here. Finally Goldust takes over, but still there’s no flow to this match. It’s hard to put into words, but you would know what I meant if you say it. Something just doesn’t feel right about it as it just looks choppy for lack of a better word.

On top of that he keeps groping and molesting Razor. That’s just annoying. Can you imagine in wrestling related anything someone that was constantly making gay references and puns and actions? It would drive me crazy. Anyway, it’s a sleeper and a standard comeback by the face.

Oh the fans are mostly dead for this. No Monty Python jokes here by the way. After some Terri interference, the 1-2-3 Kid comes in and heads to the top for a spin kick that clearly misses but I guess the air from it knocks out Razor for Goldust to get the pin.

Rating: D. Uh yeah, this sucked too. I don’t get it. For the most part there’s been talented guys in every match but nothing at all has worked so far. Granted that could be because we’ve had three matches and zero clean endings. Is it that hard to let one guy cleanly beat the other one?

Anyway, like I said earlier this match just feels choppy and it really hurts things. There’s zero flow here and it felt like watching a video game being played where the guy controlling it was just hitting all of the moves he programmed in if that makes sense.

A bunch of people say they’ll win that don’t interest me. Shawn’s doctor says he’s ready to come back.

After the explanation of the rules from Vince (none given to the live crowd), we’re ready to go.

Royal Rumble

HHH is in first and second it Henry Godwin, now rocking the best music in wrestling history: Don’t Go Messin With a Country Boy. These two had a pseudo-rivalry around this time so this works pretty well. We’re back to two minute intervals which almost guarantees a better match. They imply that winning two in a row is almost impossible as Hogan is continually buried.

Backlund is third, completely in his crazy man Presidential candidate (don’t ask) gimmick. Also, how bad of a string of draws does this guy get? The more I see of this guy the more I like him. He’s just amazing considering his age. Backlund still has the Iron Man record at this point. Fourth is Jerry Lawler as I’m already loving these two minute intervals better.

There’s far more time to let people get settled in and it helps a lot. The heat on Lawler is nuts with the Burger King chants. Godwin breaks up a triple team and gets the slop bucket. Everyone gets it at once as they’re on the floor and now we’re back in the ring with a Gallagher reference. Fifth is Bob Holly to fill the jobber quota a bit more. Backlund is on the floor or something I think as he hasn’t been seen in awhile.

He’s not out but he’s not in the ring either. Oh there he is. HHH has jumped twice in this match, which is more than in this decade combined I believe. Mabel, who is still King, is in at 6. He’s gained even more weight here and it even less interesting of a character if that’s possible. HHH is compared to Shawn. Oh dear.

Jake Roberts, on the nostalgia trips to end all nostalgia trips (notice the word choice I used for Jake) is seventh to a solid pop. He lets loose the snake and throws it over Lawler who is of course terrified of snakes. How much of a creep was Roberts? The only people he ever fought were terrified of snakes. That’s just pathetic. Anyway, Lawler hides under the ring as Dory freaking Funk Jr. is #8.

No one knows who he is, which is likely because he’s 56 years old at this point. With the NWA dead at this point, Vince mentions their name on camera. No one has been eliminated yet so we have eight people in and you can recap it yourselves you lazy pests. Jake almost gets a DDT on HHH to a pop but it doesn’t work.

Terry Funk is apparently friends with Bruce Willis. Well ok then. Funk fights Backlund in one of the only encounters you’ll ever see where Bob is ten years younger than the guy he’s fighting. Yokozuna is 9th as we’re way too full here. Those are words I don’t think Yoko ever used. As Backlund has the chicken wing on Funk, Yoko dumps Bob easily to a big pop.

I think he’s just about to or just has turned face. The Kid is tenth as we hit double figures. This hasn’t been bad as it’s pretty clear they’re saving the big guns for the end, but dang those guys are staying in there a long time. It’s not exactly a bad thing, but I’m not sure if I’m sold on it or not.

Razor chases him to the ring as Godwin is eliminated to absolutely zero recognition. I had to rewind it to see where he went out at. Razor chases Kid around for a bit which means nothing in the end. Mo is very annoying to say the least. I think Shane was there as an official to get Razor to the back. Some Japanese wrestler named Omori is number 11. He comes out to the Orient Express’ music, and I don’t have a clue who he is.

Thanks to Wiki, he apparently has a pretty good resume. That’s fine and good, but again we have the same old problem: ALMOST NO ONE KNOWS THAT VINCE. These foreign guys are fine to bring in, but dang it tell us why we should care. Don’t just say he’s a wild man from Japan. We need more than that. Tell us a big name he’s beaten, tell us some titles he’s won, tell us SOMETHING.

I don’t want to have to do a ton of research to figure out who one guy from Japan is in one match. He’s from All Japan Pro, that’s all we get. Even Vince says he doesn’t know a ton about him. Well thanks Vince. Savio Vega is 12th as nothing of note is going on. Dory is out there doing stuff that belongs in the 40s or something which is pretty cool looking.

The saddest part: I doubt half the roster today would be as smooth as he is out there in this match. Yoko puts out Mable and the smarks shed a tear as the completely unimportant Omori is put out by Roberts. To recap, we have HHH, Lawler (hiding under the ring), Holly, Roberts, Funk, Yoko, Kid and Vega in there at the moment. Perfect says he’s tapped into the Superstar line and knows who the next guy is.

Ok wait a minute. So first of all, you can find out the SECRET drawing on the Superstar line? I know they did that last year but I just don’t get what the point is. Why ruin the mystique of one of the biggest matches of the year? Second, you can tap into it? How many science geeks that were watching this (of the 4 or so that were) immediately tried to figure out how to do that? Third, Perfect is on the phone while calling a match? Dude I want that job!

Anyway, 13th is the debuting Vader. At the time, he was a complete monster and rapidly becoming one of the biggest heels in the company. He beats up Holly so he’s a good guy to me. Savio puts out Funk from the apron. Vader of course pulls him back in so there we go. Vader punches Savio, making him dance. Yeah I hate him too. Fourteenth is Doug Gilbert of the USWA, which is Lawler’s company.

Jake sets Vega for the DDT, arguably the most devastating and popular move in company history at that point, so right as he goes for it we cut to Holly trying to dump the Kid. We can see it hit between Holly’s legs and the pop is huge, but of course two career nothings are more important so there we are. In a VERY stupid looking spot, Jake hooks Gilbert for the DDT and then just stares at Vader for at least four seconds and then gets clotheslined over the top. That looked so stupid.

Ok so 15 and 16 are twins called the Squat Team. Yes that’s the best name they could come up with for them. They’re twin 450lb guys from Puerto Rico where they’re called the Headhunters. Ok, so we can’t just call them that generic yet far better name? They last less than two minutes combined as Vader just goes insane on the first one with two punches to knock them both out. That was AWESOME.

As the first one leaves his partner is coming out and they both go to the ring. Vader beats them both up at once until Yoko (still heel apparently) grabs one and is like “Boy get your fatness out of here and make me a sweater” while Vader beats up the other one and is like “BOY go marinate bake me a ham and set the table” and both guys are knocked out.

That was both stupid and pointless which is a nice combination. Oh and just after the first guy came in Doug Gilbert got hit with a freaking AWESOME chokeslam from Vader and thrown out. It looked awesome.

To recap, we have HHH, Lawler (under the ring), Holly, Kid, Vader, Yoko and Vega. Owen is 17th and a major heel at this point due to being the guy that hurt Shawn in the famous enziguri (how in the world is that spelled anyway?) that made Shawn black out. Yoko and Vader just beat the living tar out of Vega and Shawn is 18th as the roof isn’t blown off in the slightest.

There’s a reaction but dang there was nothing impressive about that in the slightest. Vader puts out Savio as Shawn hits HHH. What would the children think??? The crowd is awake but not much beyond that. Vader and Yoko fight at the ropes and Shawn runs up and dumps BOTH of them at once. Ok that was cool looking. The fans are very much insane now. Shawn gorilla presses Kid out in another cool spot.

Vader and Yoko keep fighting as Hakushi is now in to make it him, Shawn, Owen, Holly and HHH as we see the major problem already: it is so completely obvious that Shawn is going to win. Vader comes back in and throws him out to completely silence the crowd. All of a sudden this year that doesn’t count like it used to so Shawn is still in. Gorilla the Commissioner comes down to run off Vader.

Vader would kick dominate him soon which was quite sad. The heel heat on Vader is nuts. Maybe 45 seconds after Hakushi comes in we bring in Tatanka for a one night return for no apparent reason. I’ve always liked that hook of the steel bar that Shawn did. It’s an intelligent counter that works quite well. Owen throws out Hakushi as the Shawn Michaels plus the midcard Rumble continues.

Aldo Montoya is 21st to some of the weirdest music I can ever remember. It’s like techo and tribal mixed and it’s just failing. Shawn finds Lawler under the ring and throws him back in. Sometimes simple heel tactics like that are just made of win. Montoya and Lawler go out almost at the same time as Diesel tries to give Shawn a challenge at 22. I know looking at it now he looks weak but at the time he was a major player still so this was a big deal. He puts Tatanka out with ease.

He and Shawn go at it to a solid pop. Owen goes after Diesel to finally live up to the poster for this event. I have no idea why those two were on the poster. I also have no idea why they didn’t fight at Summerslam 95 instead of Mabel but whatever. I mean really, what match sounds more interesting: Diesel vs. Mable or Diesel vs. Owen? It would have at least been interesting to an extent instead of Diesel and Owen which was completely awful.

Kama is in next to no reaction at all. Yeah Shawn should have come out about 10 spots later than he did. Holly is more or less dead at this point as Shawn hits the ten corner punches on him. The crowd counts with him and I keep thinking it’s another person coming in. Apparently Ahmed has a concussion and is going to the hospital. So wait, it took AN HOUR AND A HALF to figure that out? Dude how bad is your medical staff???

The Ringmaster is in at 24. For those of you that don’t know, he would soon become known as Stone Cold Steve Austin. His manager, Ted DiBiase heading to WCW might have saved the company. He’s wearing white boots here which just doesn’t look right. Aww his boots have little stars on them! That’s so cute! He FINALLY puts out Holly though so he’s awesome already.

Austin is a much more technical based guy here with some very good athleticism. Barry Horowitz is 25th, coming out to his completely sweet rock version of Hava Nagila. How awesome is that? Perfect says that if Horowitz wins this he’ll get back in the ring. That made me chuckle for no reason at all. In a cool looking spot, Owen is leaning on the ropes to choke Shawn so Shawn nips up to kick Owen over, but Owen skins the cat to get back in. That was awesome looking.

The fans are DEAD here. Diesel puts out HHH with complete ease. That looked cool if nothing else. 26th is Fatu. WHY IN THE WORLD DOES HE GET THESE AWESOME DRAWS EVERY YEAR??? This is the making a difference Fatu. My goodness this was awful. It makes Rikishi look brilliant. Hey let’s plug the Superstar Line again! Apparently only the guy on there knows who is next. So is he running around telling people what order to go in?

Perfect changes his stance to he’ll quit if Horowitz wins. So wait, does that mean he’ll quit being retired? If that’s so does that mean he’ll wrestle again? Maybe he didn’t change his stance at all. Owen almost puts Shawn out but just won’t do it because it would probably get him fired. Isaac Yankem (Kane) is in next. Horowitz is gone. Owen hits the enziguri on Shawn again but this time doesn’t kill him.

Austin does the Shawn pose as I laugh. Austin vs. Diesel is a match that I don’t think ever happened. Owen is out due to Diesel and Shawn. 28th is Marty Jannetty as this match just needs to be put out of its misery. Apparently he’s been doing well in the singles division. Did I completely miss some time in the company history? The Rockers go at it in a fight that would have been good maybe 3 years ago.

British Bulldog is 29th again to ZERO reaction. 30th is going to be Duke Droese so there we are. Smith is heel here so he beats on Shawn. He dumps Marty quickly so if nothing else there’s a future for him in vermin control. Fatu puts out Austin. How many people would believe that in three and a half years he would run him over in a car and put him out for a year?

That’s just completely amazing and shows you that all kinds of things can happen in wrestling and you never know what’s coming. Kane knocks out Rikishi with ease as the announcers admit they have no idea how Austin went out due to there being a lot of action going on. No not really but I can’t argue with Vince right? Ok so there’s Duke and the final groups is, and I’m not kidding you here, Duke Droese, Kama, Diesel, Shawn, Bulldog and Yankem. WOW.

If you couldn’t tell who was going to win this and who he was going to eliminate last, you’re an idiot. Droese and Kane go out really fast so your final four are Bulldog, Diesel, Kama and Shawn. And before I’m done typing that Shawn kicks Diesel out to win it. Literally, the final four started and ended inside of 30 seconds. Shawn wins, shocking no one at all. Diesel comes back and they do the Too Sweet sign. Yep, that’s all they do and good night I’m bored here.

Rating: D. How can this show not seem that bad? I mean seriously, Ahmed freaking Johnson at this point has the match of the night, and that’s after guys like Chris Candido, Owen Hart, Shawn Michaels, Scott Hall and Dustin Rhodes have performed. Once Shawn came in, the match was over, period. No one thought for a second that anyone other than HBK was going to win, period. I mean look at this lineup.

The alternatives are the debuting Vader, Diesel, who had talked about Taker nonstop recently so his feud is set up, and……and……oh come on there has to be a third guy. Owen Hart wins it by default I guess: a career midcard guy with a cup of coffee in the main event a year ago that is clearly the first Shawn target. WOW. How in the world did this Rumble get a chance to do anything? There is no way this was ever, and I mean ever, was going to work.

The only thing CLOSE to making this work would have been Yoko, Diesel, Owen and Vader against Shawn at the end. I mean really, who else was going to win? This wasn’t interesting at all and other than for a few seconds, the crowd might as well have been asleep, and I can’t blame them a bit. This was just boring.

Bret says he’ll win in a generic interview, which is somehow the most interesting thing I’ve seen other than Vader and Yoko being put out in over an hour.

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

This is happening because Bret is champion and Taker would have been far too big of a threat to Shawn’s popularity. Taker is wearing the skull mask at this point after Mabel and Yokozuna destroyed his face. For no apparent reason, Diesel is still at ringside. He gets in Taker’s face and there they go. Taker was just all kinds of awesome at this point, as he was reaching that mythical level that few get to.

He’s officially that kind of guy that’s awesome just because he’s who he is. Like today for example, it’s about two weeks after Kofi destroyed Orton’s car. That was AWESOME. Kofi got over in that one segment and granted I have no idea if it’ll still or not as you guys won’t read this for about two months, but the point is he might just fall off the map. A guy like Taker simply isn’t going to fall off the level he’s on barring anything completely insane happening.

He was just hitting that level around this time. He’s like Shawn is now: you can throw together a stupid storyline to put him in the title match and everyone will buy it because he’s just awesome enough to be in it. Bret’s pop is solid here, but this crowd just kind of sucks. Ok we’ve been in this match 3 minutes now and I think I already know what’s coming. I had a bad vibe about this match earlier on and it’s coming true now: they’re doing a formula match.

Yep, Bret’s going for the knee early. That means a long drawn out match where Bret works on the leg with a submission, Taker fights back, Bret hits the knee and uses a submission, Taker fights back, Bret hits the knee and uses a submission, Taker fights back, Bret hits the knee or a suplex move and sets for the Sharpshooter and somewhere in there we brawl on the floor with a weapon other than the belt or a chair being used. And what do you know I’m right.

Yes, for about 25 minutes, that’s all we get. During that Bret gets the stupid looking skull mask off of Taker that was just really annoying. PLEASE END THIS! Taker hits the Tombstone finally, and here’s Diesel for the cheap DQ to set up Diesel vs. Bret to set up Diesel vs. Taker. Ok, I know I have the benefit of hindsight here, but this was as predictable as humanly possible.

The signs were all there for Diesel vs. Taker, especially the fight before the match started. I mean seriously, who in their right mind thought Taker had a chance here? Actually he won, so who thought he had a chance of getting the title here? Whatever, I just want this show to end.

Rating: C-. While it was formula stuff, it was somehow by far and away the best match of the night, and that’s just pitiful. They went out there and did half an hour of stuff you could write a textbook with. Now I know that usually means greatness, but in this case I mean a book called Cookie Cutter Title Matches in 30 Elongated Minutes.

It might have been that I was just wanting this show to end, but this was boring as heck to me. I’m going with the C- because it gives it the best grade of the night just so Jeff Jarrett can’t have it. WWF>TNA, forever, even when you have to lie to get there.

Overall Rating: D-. Somehow, this passes. I have zero idea how, but somehow it passes. The matches all completely sucked, but it was like I kept wanting to like the show. That’s either really good or really bad and I’m not sure which.

This whole show feels like the forms you have to fill out to get something you know you’re getting: it’s pointless, you don’t like it, but you have to do it anyway to get to the end result. This show is just boring. I don’t know if it’s particularly bad, but it’s just so boring that it becomes bad. Don’t watch this unless you’re an insomniac.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 7, 2006
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Summerslam but this week’s show is going to be interesting in a bad way. The roster is fresh off of an Australia tour so there is a good chance that they are going to be absolutely spent. I certainly can’t blame them for that, but it can make for a dull show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Umaga beating down Shawn Michaels last week to set up Umaga vs. HHH this week.

We look at Graceland to start….and now it’s Vince and Shane McMahon in Elvis suits. Shane talks about leaving Shawn all shook up last week and HHH was dancing to the jailhouse rock last week because of those cigars. Shawn even wound up at the heartbreak hotel because of a hunka-hunka burning Shane.

Vince says he’s going to be cruel tonight when HHH faces Umaga. Shane: “You ain’t nothing but a hound dog.” Vince: “I wanna thank you very much Elvis.” Vince likes Shane’s look, but everyone needs to know something: Elvis has left the building. This was AMAZING and needs to be seen (though pesky music rights mean it’s not on the Network).

Opening sequence.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

James is defending….for about four seconds as Edge and Lita interrupt before they can even lock up. Edge says this match is over and he’s taking over Raw. So much for that.

Edge tells Trish to stay because she needs to hear this. It’s not fair that he has to defend the title against John Cena in Cena’s hometown of Boston and if he is disqualified, he loses the title. So NO, it isn’t fair that he has to put up with more than anyone in this company. Edge demands the Summerslam poster be put on screen, which features DX, John Cena, Trish and Batista (Edge: “You have to get him on there before he gets injured again.”).

There’s no Edge, but he has a makeup picture because he can be on the cover of Raw Magazine. It’s a blonde from Toronto who looks like a million bucks and…..of course it’s Trish in rather limited clothing. Edge doesn’t like being bumped by someone who hasn’t won a match in over a year. Lita gets in Trish’s face and backs her into the corner but Trish comes out slapping. That’s broken up by Edge so Lita spears Trish down. Cue Carlito for the save but Edge spears him down, likely meaning a mixed tag later.

There is a one hour Diva Search special coming. Nope. This isn’t on the Network.

Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin

The winner gets Johnny Nitro, on commentary with Melina, for the Intercontinental Title. Shelton strikes away to start with little success as Kane grabs him by the throat. Kane takes him into the corner for some right hands, followed by a running clothesline. There’s the side slam but Shelton counters the chokeslam with a DDT. The second attempt works just fine though and Benjamin is done in a hurry.

Video on the Australia tour. This wasn’t on the Network either. Must be a music thing.

Here’s John Cena for a chat. He doesn’t get this Edge guy. Edge is always talking about respect, but he’s already the WWE Champion. Maybe he isn’t on the Summerslam poster because his face scared children. Apparently Edge has a 7-11 deal going and Lita is a part of it. Imagine: Slurpees for Herpes! Cena: “You can’t stop it. You can only suppress it.” Cena has a consolation prize though: Edge can be on the cover of Crying B**** Illustrated.

That’s enough fun though because Edge needs to get out here right now. Cue Jonathan Coachman instead though and Cena isn’t happy. Coach says Edge isn’t out here tonight because he and Lita are teaming up against Carlito and Trish Stratus. If Cena wants to fight though, Coach has an opponent ready for him.

John Cena vs. Viscera

Joined in progress with Viscera hitting the snap spinwheel kick to put Cena down. Viscera hits the big running splash in the corner to put Cena on the floor. That’s good for two back inside but Cena slugs away with the right hands. The slam goes rather badly though and Cena has to kick out again. The chinlock goes on but Cena fights up again and slugs away, setting up the Throwback. Cena tries the Shuffle but is quickly countered into the Boss Man Slam. Viscera misses the splash though and Cena hits the FU (those legs were SHAKING) for the quick pin.

Rating: D+. I know Cena might not be the most popular guy in the world, but being able to throw someone the size of Viscera onto his shoulders and flip him over (without his legs buckling) is one of the most impressive things you’ll see in wrestling. That is raw power and Cena looks like a superhero when he gets to showcase it. The whole match was just there for the ending and that worked fine.

This Week In Wrestling History: Showdown At Shea 1980. Zbyszko vs. Sammartino isn’t mentioned for some reason.

Vince and Shane McMahon are with the security guards but Shane has to go take care of something.

Trish Stratus is freaking out with Carlito, who she kisses to blow off some steam.

Shane goes looking for Shawn Michaels but finds the Highlanders, Candice Michelle and Torrie Wilson, but no Shawn. Instead he heads back to the locker room but Shawn jumps him from behind. The beatdown is on, with Shawn hitting a cop by mistake to get himself arrested, leaving HHH on his own tonight against Umaga. Dang that’s a coincidence.

Edge/Lita vs. Carlito/Trish Stratus

Carlito slugs away at Edge to start but gets sent face first into the middle turnbuckle. Some running clotheslines put Edge down though and it’s off to the women for a change. Trish takes Lita down to hammer away but Edge breaks up the Stratusphere. The chinlock goes on and a hair pull sends Trish right back down. Lita sends her face first into the mat but Trish is back up with the spinning headscissors. Everything breaks down and a double dropkick puts Edge and Lita on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Edge chinlocking Carlito until Edge sends him outside. That means Lita can get some shots before Edge brings him back inside for a double arm crank. Carlito jawbreaks his way to freedom though and it’s the springboard elbow to put Edge down. The hot tag brings in Trish to beat up Lita, including countering the Twist of Fate into a spinebuster for two. Everything breaks down and Edge’s spear hits Trish, earning himself a trip to the floor. Ever the opportunist, Lita steals the pin.

Rating: C. You can only get so much out of a mixed tag and that was the case again here. They had two matches going at once with the tags bridging them together, which doesn’t make for much of a match. Lita pinning Trish worked fine enough, but you could think the World Champion pinning Carlito would be a little more acceptable.

Smackdown Rebound.

Randy Orton isn’t impressed by Hulk Hogan having a torn meniscus because it’s just a way for him to get out of their Summerslam match.

Here’s Ric Flair, carrying a copy of Foley Is Good (Mick Foley’s second book). Flair talks about being from Memphis before saying he has spent ten years trying to figure out what makes Mick Foley tick. Everyone told him to read his second book, which was a look inside Foley’s head. Flair drops the book and stomps on it, followed by a knee drop for good measure.

That’s what Flair thinks of the book, except for one page. On Page 169, Foley lists his favorite matches, with his favorite being Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair. Foley knows he can’t beat Flair, but here’s Foley to say Flair has found out the secret. Yes the I Quit match with Funk was the greatest match he has ever seen and he can never be as good as Flair. Then they can have a classic at Summerslam and get Flair back to the top of the mountain where he deserved.

But that isn’t going to happen, because Flair didn’t help Foley back in 1994. Flair could have done something for his career but didn’t. Foley has made a vow to never do anything to help Flair in his life, so at Summerslam, Flair and Vince McMahon are invited to kiss his a** because the match isn’t happening.

Flair tells Foley to be a man one more time in his life because they can have the greatest hardcore match anyone has ever seen. He literally gets on his knees to beg Foley to make the match happen so Foley rants about Melina being embarrassed last week and wants an I Quit match at Summerslam. Flair gives it a WOO, but Foley says cut the music. After a career of great matches, Summerslam may be Flair’s greatest ever, but it may also be his last. Not as good as their previous stuff, but it kept things moving forward.

Randy Orton vs. Jerry Lawler

Lawler is in the all white and scores with the early slap to the face. An Irish whip sends Lawler into the ropes but he’s back with another slap. Orton rakes the eyes and dropkicks him down though, setting up the chinlock. That’s broken up and Lawler punches him down, only to miss the middle rope fist drop. The RKO doesn’t work so Orton kicks him low, setting up the RKO for the fast pin. This was just a step above nothing.

Jeff Hardy is coming back.

The Diva Search girls come out, Eric is eliminated and it’s time for Diss the Diva. Well in a minute maybe.

Summerslam rundown.

The Diva Search girls play Diss the Diva, no one likes anyone, and we’re done.

For some reason, the Hardy vignette, the pay per view rundown and both Diva Search segments are missing from the Network version.

HHH vs. Umaga

The McMahons and Armando Alejandro Estrada are here too. They slug it out to start with Umaga cutting him off with a headbutt. A low bridge puts Umaga on the floor though and a posting rocks him again. Back in and a spinwheel kick cuts HHH down without much trouble, meaning Umaga can sit on his chest. There’s the running headbutt in the Tree of Woe, followed by the running hip attack for a bonus.

Umaga headbutts the mat by mistake so HHH slugs away but has to deal with the McMahons. A missed charge sends Umaga into the corner but the Pedigree is broken up. The spinebuster gives HHH two as Vince pulls the referee out, meaning it’s time to beat up the McMahons. That’s enough of a distraction for Umaga to hit the Samoan Spike for the pin.

Rating: C-. Much like last week, this was all about advancing DX vs. the McMahon, but it also made Umaga look like a much bigger deal in a hurry. This was HHH walking Umaga through the match and letting him do his thing, which worked out well enough. Not a great match, but they did what they needed to do.

Post match, Umaga leaves the McMahons with HHH, allowing Vince to hit his own Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Most of the Summerslam card, or at least the top of it, is all set now and that makes some of the TV shows a little slow to watch. This one was acceptable enough though and you can see most of the matches already. I’m looking forward to the pay per view, but it’s a good thing that next week is the go home show as there isn’t much left to do for the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestle Kingdom XV Night Two
Date: January 5, 2021
Location: Tokyo Dome, Tokyo, Japan
Attendance: 7,801
Commentators: Rocky Romero, Chris Charlton, Kevin Kelly

It’s the second half of the biggest New Japan show of the year and as usual, the card is stacked. The main event will see new IWGP Heavyweight/Intercontinental Champion Kota Ibushi defend against Jay White, along with pretty much everything else that wasn’t featured on Night One. They have a lot to live up to so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Note that there were two Stardom dark matches which were not broadcast due to various rights issues.

The opening video runs down the card, in order.

King Of Pro Wrestling Provisional Title: Toru Yano vs. Chase Owens vs. Bad Luke Fale vs. Bushi

So this is a new thing that started last year, where you have to become the Provisional Champion and then defend it throughout the year, with whoever is the final champion at the end of the year winning a trophy. Then the whole thing starts over. Yano was the first champion and this is one fall to a finish. Bushi and Yano chill on the floor to start so Fale heads outside to hammer on Yano while Owens does the same thing to Bushi inside.

Everyone gets inside with Yano rolling Bushi up for two. Yano isn’t having this wrestling stuff and pulls off the turnbuckle pad to continue his tradition. Owens saves Bushi from getting hit in the face but Bushi rakes him in the eyes for offering an alliance. Fale and Owens start double teaming Yano but Bushi is back in to low bridge Fale to the floor.

A fisherman’s neckbreaker gives Bushi two on Owens as Yano slams Fale in the back of the head. Well he never has seemed like the smartest person. Owens blocks Bushi’s top rope Codebreaker but can’t hit the package piledriver. Fale comes back in to hit the Grenade Launcher on Bushi but Owens won’t let him have the pin. They go after the referee, allowing Yano to come in with the low blow and steal the pin on Bushi for the title at 7:34.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t supposed to be anything serious and was more or less a warmup match for the rest of the show. It was quick, it gave the fans a smile at the end and lets Yano do his thing. There was no reason to believe that this was going to be anything special and they had a perfectly acceptable match.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: Suzuki-Gun vs. One of Eight

That would be El Desperado/Yoshinobu Kanemura (defending) vs. Ryusuke Taguchi/Master Wato after the challengers (with Hiroyoshi Tenzan) have beaten the champs twice. Wato and Desperado start fast with Wato knocking him to the floor for the big dive. It’s off to Taguchi who runs the ropes a lot until Kanemura takes him to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Back in and Kanemura takes advantage of a distracted referee to send Taguchi’s knee into a chair.

We settle down a bit with Desperado dropkicking Taguchi’s knee out and easily avoiding the hip attack. Taguchi gets over for the tag to Wato though and it’s a springboard uppercut to drop Kanemura. The referee is sent into Wato for a distraction, allowing Kanemura to hit an enziguri. Desperado comes back in and gets pulled face first into the back of Taguchi’s tights over and over (that’s his thing you see). The running hip attack puts Desperado down again and Three Amigos do it one more time.

Desperado and Taguchi counter a few things each until Taguchi grabs a cobra clutch suplex. That just earns him a Stretch Muffler but Taguchi reverses into an ankle lock. A double chickenwing gutbuster gets two on Desperado but he and Taguchi trade rollups for two each. With the other two being knocked outside, Desperado hits Angel’s Wings (which had a Spanish name I couldn’t make out) to finish Taguchi and retain the titles at 13:21.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that seems to come and go most years without having much long term meaning. The Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles offer some fun matches but they don’t exactly seem the most important. It’s nice to see the champs retain to let their reign grow a bit and seeing Taguchi lose always makes me smile just a little bit. Pretty nice match too, but it didn’t hit anything great.

Never Openweight Title: Shingo Takagi vs. Jeff Cobb

Shingo is defending and Cobb is part of the Empire. They shove each other around to start and then go to the forearm off, as is the custom for the title. Shingo hits a hiptoss and runs him over with a shoulder but Cobb is right back with a dropkick. That’s enough to send Shingo to the floor for some whips into the barricade, followed by a heck of an overhead belly to belly. Back in and an elbow to the face gives Cobb two and we hit the bearhug. That’s broken up in a hurry so Cobb suplexes him down again.

They slug it out until Shingo suplexes him out to the apron. Shingo joins him and has to slip out of a Razor’s Edge attempt (must fear a bad case of death) before knocking Cobb out to the floor. The big flip dive hits Cobb again and an elbow drop gets two back inside. It’s Cobb’s turn to hurt him, meaning it’s the rolling gutwrench suplexes into a sitout Razor’s Edge powerbomb for a big two. Shingo is right back with a Death Valley Driver as they’re trading bombs here.

A top rope superplex sends Cobb flying again and there’s a German suplex to make it worse. They trade t-bone suplexes and forearm it out until Shingo hits a clothesline but falls to the floor in exhaustion. Shingo dives back in, earning himself a quick piledriver for two more. Tour of the Islands is broken up so Shingo hits Made In Japan for his own near fall.

Cobb snaps off a rebound German suplex into Tour of the Islands but the knee gives out to delay the cover. They’re both down with Cobb’s knee still bothering him but he’s fine enough to hit a backflip fall away slam (Does that mean it’s still an away slam?). Tour of the Islands is blocked again and Shingo hits a kind of fall away suplex. A big lariat turns Cobb inside out and Last of the Dragon (kind of a reverse Samoan driver) retains the title at 21:13.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this was amazing as these two just beat the fire out of each other for twenty one minutes. There was nothing scientific about it and there wasn’t supposed to be. This was all about two big, strong guys hitting each other really hard and Cobb is born for that kind of match. Great stuff here and if you want one of those old school hoss fights with suplexes thrown in, check this one out, because it’s awesome.

Sanada vs. Evil

They’re former partners but Evil (with Dick Togo tonight) turned on him to become Heavyweight Champion. Feeling out process to start with Sanada being thrown outside but he jumps back in as Evil goes to the floor. Back in and Sanada loads up the Paradise Lock for the running kick, sending Evil outside again. This time Evil catches Sanada to drive him into the barricade and some chairs are brought out as well.

Evil and Togo set up a table and Sanada is taken back inside….only to be taken outside again for a whip into the barricade. That’s good for two back inside but Sanada gets in a shot to the knee to put Evil down for a change. A dropkick does it again so Sanada has the chance to dive onto Togo. Back in and Togo trips Sanada but Evil can’t put him through the ringside table. Instead, Sanada misses a springboard, having to settle for a hanging swinging suplex.

A tiger suplex gives Sanada two but Evil drives him hard into the corner. Evil gets him up top for a superplex into the Scorpion Deathlock, with Sanada diving for the rope. Darkness Falls gets two on Sanada but Evil misses a charge into an exposed (When did that happen?) corner. Sanada’s belly to back suplex gets two, only to have Evil swing Sanada’s leg into the referee. Togo comes in to beat on Sanada, who kicks Evil into the ropes to crotch Togo (Togo: “OH S***!”) out to the floor.

Sanada moonsaults over Evil into Skull End (dragon sleeper), which he lets so for a moonsault instead. He tries a second but this time Evil gets his knees up to put them both down. Skull End goes on again so Evil grabs the referee, allowing Togo to choke with a wire from the apron. That’s broken up though and Sanada dropkicks Evil into Togo through the table (There it goes!). Evil panics, kicks out of a rollup, and blasts Sanada with a clothesline for two of his own. Skull End is broken up again so Sanada hits his own Everything Is Evil (Evil’s finisher), setting up a pop up TKO. The moonsault finishes Evil for good at 23:45.

Rating: B+. This is as easy of a story as you can get, with the tag team splitting up and one of them needing to prove that he is the better man. That’s what we got here, with Sanada wrestling the clean match to overcome the villains, including using Evil’s own finisher. Rather good match here, and it’s easy to see why this was one of the featured showdowns.

We recap Hiromu Takahashi (Best of the Super Juniors) vs. Taiji Ishimori (IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion) for the title. Takahashi won a #1 contenders match against El Phantasmo last night and now he has his title shot.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title: Hiromu Takahashi vs. Taiji Ishimori

Ishimori is defending and they run the ropes to start, with Takahashi being sent outside. Ishimori’s dive is broken up on the apron as Takahashi cuts him off and hits a superkick. The sunset bomb is countered as well so Takahashi powerbombs him hard onto the apron. Takahashi goes WAY up the ramp and runs down but his dropkick is countered into a suplex to cut him down.

Ishimori nails a moonsault down to the floor and then sends Takahashi shoulder first into an exposed turnbuckle (Is that the same buckle from the Yano match? They never replaced it???). The shoulder is banged up but the legs are fine enough to snap off a running headscissors to put Ishimori down. A running dropkick off the apron sends Ishimori hard into the barricade for two back inside but he’s back up with the sliding German suplex.

The YES Lock stays on Takahashi’s bad arm until a foot on the rope is good for the break. Takahashi counters a charge into a belly to belly into the corner and they’re both down for a deserved breather. It’s Takahashi up first with a wheelbarrow into a Downward Spiral, followed by the running Death Valley Driver. Ishimori’s handspring is countered into a German suplex but he’s right back up with a Canadian Destroyer for another double knockdown.

They slug it out from their knees and then from their feet until Ishimori sends him shoulder first into the post. A shoulderbreaker sets up the YES Lock with Takahashi needing the ropes to keep him alive. Ishimori tries the YES Lock again but this time gets faceplanted down for a delayed two instead. They both try what looks to be a suplex until Ishimori takes him down into a Gargano Escape. With that almost broken, Ishimori lets it go and tries the YES Lock, only to be reversed into a suplex into a faceplant. That lets Takahashi get back up for the Time Bomb 2 for the pin and the title at 25:31.

Rating: A-. This was another slugout as both of them were barely able to hang in there until the end, with Takahashi’s shoulder nearly doing him in. Takahashi coming back from his injury and winning the title again was a great moment and a great story. Granted it wasn’t as spiffy again as the second time, but Takahashi has turned into a huge star around here and the win felt special and was made even better by an awesome match.

Takahashi takes his time getting the title.

We recap Jay White vs. Kota Ibushi for the IWGP Heavyweight and IWGP Intercontinental Titles. Ibushi won the titles last night but lost to White a few months ago. White is the most evil man in the company and it’s time to fight him off.

IWGP Heavyweight Title/IWGP Intercontinental Title: Kota Ibushi vs. Jay White

White is challenging and has Gedo with him. White bails to the floor to start but then gets back in for the trash talk. They lock up nearly two minutes after the bell and an early Gedo distraction lets White stomp away. The headlock goes on for a bit but the threat of a big kick to the head sends White bailing to the floor. Gedo offers another distraction on the way back in though, allowing Kota to grab a DDT. A suplex onto the apron bangs up Kota’s back and that means a rather long count on the floor.

Back in and a knee to the ribs gets two and the waistlock goes on. Rib stomping ensues and it’s a tranquilo pose to keep White’s cockiness high. A hard DDT plants Kota again and White yells at the referee as the champ pulls himself up. That’s enough for Kota to get in a shot of his own, followed by the standing moonsault for two. They head to the floor with Ibushi’s ribs going into the barricade to cut him off again.

Back in and Kota’s powerslam looks to set up the middle rope moonsault but White crotches him instead. That means it’s time to start working on the leg, followed by a swinging brainbuster for two. Kota manages to send him outside but the knee gives out on the springboard attempt. White shoves him out to the floor and then suplexes him into the corner for two more. Kota grabs a desperation half nelson suplex and they slug it out again. The kneeling Tombstone gives Kota two and they’re both down.

It’s White up first with a snap belly to back suplex into a Rock Bottom for his own two. Back up and Kota hits his own belly to back for two, followed by a kick to the head. Gedo’s distraction breaks up another moonsault though and it’s time to go up to tease a dragon superplex (geez). Thankfully that’s broken up and White goes after the knee instead. A leglock goes on to put Kota in trouble but he’s in the rope in a hurry. White kicks him in the face a few times and gets a “dude really” look from Kota, who gets back to his feet.

Ibushi strikes him down into the corner and tells White to come on. That’s fine with White, who is knocked right back down. They do the same thing again, with White getting knocked to the floor. Back in and Kota says hit him but White lays down, telling Ibushi to pin him. Instead, Ibushi unloads on him until the referee tries to intervene, allowing White to get in a low blow. They head outside again with Ibushi going ribs and back first into the barricade and apron.

White gets back inside and tells Ibushi to bring it, earning Kota some German suplexes. It’s back to the apron (Kelly: “Oh no.”) with Ibushi gets in a kick to the head to rock White for a change. A super German suplex brings White back in for two for a rather near fall but he grabs a sleeper suplex. White hits another one and a RegalPlex is good for two. Blade Runner is broken up but Kota reverses into the big knee to the face for two and the applause.

The phoenix splash connects but Gedo pulls the referee, sending Kelly into hysterics. Gedo’s brass knuckles shot is countered into a big knee to the face so Kota sends the referee back in. The delay lets White hit the Blade Runner for a very close two (first time anyone has ever kicked out) so he pulls Kota down into what looks like a reverse Figure Four.

Kota is nearly to the rope but White pulls him back into the middle. That’s not going to happen though as Kota makes it back to the rope again. Bloody Sunday looks to set up another Blade Runner but Kota nails a jumping knee to the face. Another jumping knee sets up a hard lariat into a pair of big knees to retain the titles at 48:05 (the longest match in Dome history).

Rating: A. It says a lot that you don’t feel a match running nearly fifty minutes but this felt like nothing close to that. Ibushi had a pair of great performances and it makes him look like an even bigger star. White is the kind of heel you want to see get destroyed and having him get kneed in the face works very well. This was a heck of a match and lived up to the main event spot, with the time being a great addition, especially fast the whole thing felt.

Post match here’s Sanada to issue the (very respectful) challenge for the titles. Kota talks about how he is more powerful than ever and agrees to the match. With Sanada gone, Kota gives his big speech to wrap it up. Commentary applauds him as he leaves.

The long wrapup ends the night.

Overall Rating: A+. This was an interesting one as I wasn’t feeling it as much as the first night but aside from the not exactly serious opener, this was one great match after another with nothing being close to bad and a bunch of classics. It’s the kind of show that you expect from Wrestle Kingdom and that is a very hard reputation to achieve. Absolutely awesome show though and somehow better than the very good Night One, which is hard to pull off. Yeah it’s annoying to have back to back shows this long, but it’s once a year so I can’t get mad, especially when it’s this. Check both nights out, because they’re worth the time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 1995
Date: January 22, 1995
Location: USF Sun Dome, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett is challenging and now has the Roadie with him. Razor starts with his usual assortment of punches and a fallaway slam to send Jeff to the floor. After a little toweling off on the floor, Jeff armdrags Razor down and struts. They trade arm holds until Razor gets taken to the mat where Jeff messes with his hair. Careful with the grease there Jeff. Razor gets annoyed and knocks Jeff to the floor for some more Memphis stalling.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor tries some quick rollups for two but Jeff goes right for the knee to take over. Jeff does his best Ric Flair imitation but as he goes for the third cannonball down onto the leg, Razor kicks him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Jarrett puts on the Figure Four, putting Razor in a lot of trouble. Razor escapes and starts his comeback with punches and the belly to back superplex but Jeff counters in mid air for two. Razor clotheslines him down and loads up the Edge, but the knee gives out and Jeff rolls him up for the pin and the title.

IRS vs. The Undertaker

This is the start of the Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Team feud which went on FOREVER. The bell rings and we stand around a lot. IRS tries to jump Taker from behind and it goes nowhere. Taker glares him down to the floor and the stalling continues. IRS slides in, gets glared down, and hides on the floor again. Finally we head back in with IRS pounding away and getting kicked in the face for his efforts.

Taker grabs him by the tie and swings him out of the corner, followed by Old School as this is dominance so far. IRS and DiBiase get in an argument on the floor, causing DiBiase to call for some druids. Taker loads up Old School again but the druid shakes the rope and Taker goes down. A clothesline puts Taker on the floor where he beats on the druids a bit before IRS jumps him from behind.

Bret is ready for his chance at the title.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

Backlund stays in the ring and puts the Crossface Chicken Wing on Bret. This set up their I Quit match at Mania which even Bret admits sucked. Diesel makes the save and hugs Bret.

More Pettingill and Anderson stuff.

Bob Holly and 1-2-3 Kid are excited to be in the finals of the tag team title tournament.

Tag Titles: Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Shawn and Diesel split up and we needed champions. Holly and Tatanka start things off with Tatanka hitting a side slam for two. Holly comes back with a slam and a few dropkicks as this is going nowhere so far. Off to the Kid vs. Bigelow, with the big man running over both of the smaller guys with ease. Bigelow LAUNCHES Kid into the air but gets caught in a rana to send Bam Bam rolling.

Shawn laughs a bit.

We look at the ending to the match from last year.

Vince apologizes to Lawrence Taylor.

Royal Rumble

Billy Gunn is #23 so naturally Bart Gunn is #24. Bob Backlund is #25 and also lasts about fifteen seconds due to a Bret Hart attack. Steven Dunn is #26 as there are like ten people in there. Bret and Backlund fight in the aisle again and old man Dick Murdoch is #27. Mantaur misses a charge at Bart and Adam Bomb is #28. For the second year in a row, Vince decides Adam Bomb is going to win the Rumble. Seriously.

Fatu is #29 and Luger eliminates Mantaur. Crush is #30, giving us a final group of Shawn, Bulldog, Luger, Montoya, Godwinn, Bart, Billy, Dunn, Murdoch, Bomb, Fatu and Crush, or WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE. Thankfully Crush immediately eliminates the Gunns to clear the ring out a bit. We cut to Anderson who gives a very uninterested wave and points to the ring. You know, because this is SO beneath her. Well, not beneath her enough to give the check back or anything but you get the idea.

Anderson poses with Shawn to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. IRS

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Original: B-

Redo: A

Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: C+

What in the world was I thinking on the title match? It was great.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/14/royal-rumble-count-up-1995/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Royal Rumble 1995
Date: January 22, 1995
Location: USF Sun Dome, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Well, another year has passed and other than some different jobbers in the midcard, the only big change is Diesel has replaced Luger atop the company. Yoko is now a non factor, Bret is of course in the title hunt, and Luger is in the midcard doing jack. Other than that there are just not a lot of differences. Of course we have the Rumble, but other than that and a Diesel vs. Bret title match, we’ve got nothing of note.

This was a very weird period for the company as they were pretty much booking as they went instead of having long term plans. At the same time in WCW, everything was more or less thrown together. Also, there’s still no Nitro at this point as it was about seven and a half months away. There’s just not a ton going on at this point in wrestling and it’s clear that a change was needed. However, that wouldn’t come for over a year and a half, and as you’ll see, that was WAY too far off. Let’s get to this.

Your big deal here is that Pamela Anderson is here and will escort the winner of the Rumble to Mania. This would turn out to be one of the worst celebrity things that I can remember as she just looked like she absolutely HATED being there. If you’re getting paid to be there, at least try to not look like you’re just wanting to go get smashed. The intro is as generic of a beach thing as you can possibly imagine. Why does Vince have to be such a freaking mic hog? It’s really annoying.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

These two feuded for what seemed like forever. Razor is of course the champion here as that’s all he ever did. Razor’s intro has reached Orton levels. Jerry gets in a funny line about how Jarrett, a country singer here, is going to star in a Broadway play: Phantom of the Grand Ole Opry. That’s just great. As we have a long feeling out period, we keep seeing the Roadie, who is more commonly known as the Road Dogg.

These two had some awesome chemistry to say the least. The gimmick that Jarrett had hurt him a lot I think. He was hard to take seriously, which is unfair because he looked good, he sounded good, he wrestled well, and he just overall worked as a big time guy. However, due to his gimmick and eventually the guitar he just failed. I’ve never gotten that. Take this match for example: everything is working fine and it’s a pretty solid match.

I don’t have anything to really make fun of in it. Granted that could be because Razor was incredibly underrated here so that might have something to do with it. Razor does all his usual stuff, although instead of the bulldog from the middle rope we get a clothesline. These two are having a very solid match out there if I do say so myself. We go to the floor though and Roadie clips Razor’s knee to send him down.

That causes the count out but Jarrett is intelligent for a change and says that he doesn’t want it that way so we need to keep going. They went for almost fifteen minutes to get to this point if that tells you anything. It was a lot of feeling out stuff but at the end of it we more or less had a stalemate. Razor gets back in and we’re ready to go again. I’ve never gotten the term restart the match. Why don’t they get new entrances?

That’s what started the match and if you’re going to redo them you might as well redo those too. With Razor’s knee destroyed, Jeff of course gets the Figure Four on a bit later. Lawler channels his inner Monsoon and says stick a fork in him, he’s done.

However, since Razor is a face and therefore comes equipped with healing powers, he escapes and makes his comeback. If Vince says he’s got him! No wait he doesn’t, one more time I’m going to scream. He gets Jarrett up in the Edge but his knee gives out and a small package gives Jarrett the title. That was good.

Rating: B+. That was a solid opener. Razor was a big deal at the time and him jobbing to Jarrett should have been the start of a big push for him but for some reason that wasn’t the case. These two were both solid workers that were likely told to just go out there and have a good match and that’s just what they did. This was a great opener.

Some annoying looking woman can’t find Jarrett. Hint: HE’S IN THE RING!

Todd is with Pamela Anderson who has gotten lots of gifts from wrestlers because apparently wooing her will make them win the Rumble. I really hate this.

The annoying woman has found Jarrett but calls him Razor. He looks good with the belt.

IRS vs. Undertaker

This was during the epically long Taker vs. DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team feud. This was actually billed as Death vs. Taxes. I give up. Apparently Taker was at a monster truck rally the night before, in character. That’s just amusing to no end. They say he was there watching his favorite monster truck: Grave Digger. There’s just something hilarious in that. As expected, there’s not a ton here.

Look at the guys in there and tell me you were expecting a solid match with a straight face. IRS simply isn’t a legit opponent here, plain and simple. This is a lot of IRS trying to fight Taker and naturally failing while Lawler says the Druids, who worked for DiBiase, should be at ringside. I’m quite bored during this match as it’s just not interesting at all. Taker apparently was at the NFL 75th Anniversary Black Tie Dinner. WOW that’s an image.

After more beating on IRS, DiBiase brings in the Druids because this wasn’t uninteresting enough. The Druids mess up Old School as the ring sounds weird. This just needs to end like NOW. It’s completely boring and feels like a bad joke or something. Lawler thinks the urn has something to do with Taker’s power. That’s so stupid I don’t even know where to begin. It’s the SMOKE inside the urn, not the urn itself.

IRS gets out of a tombstone because of the Druids and hits his finisher: a clothesline called the Write Off. Yep, his finisher is a clothesline. After sitting up for like the 4th time, a bad chokeslam ends this FINALLY. Oh wait here are the druids for even more wasting of time. King Kong Bundy comes out and allows IRS to steal the urn. I really couldn’t be any less interested. Oh and apparently the cheering of the fans works as well as the urn. I give up.

Rating: D. Oh man this was bad. It ran about 12 minutes but it felt like 45. I mean really, Death vs. Taxes? Who thought that was going to be a good match? This should have been about half as long as it was and a glorified squash. No one bought Taker as being in any kind of danger here and it’s clear that this was just not going to be competitive. It was also really boring with the Druids and DiBiase taking too much time. Just a horrible waste of time.

We get interviews from earlier in the day where Todd pesters the heck out of Bret and Diesel who don’t want to talk to him.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Diesel is champion and Bret wants to be champion, end of backstory. They point out that Bret has won two triple crowns while Diesel has won it faster than anyone else (Punk broke that record.) Diesel goes over to talk to Lawrence Taylor and it starts. I really don’t get what they thought that was going to accomplish. Actually I do as it got them a ton of mainstream press, but the fans got screwed over in about 3 months.

WE ARE LIVE! Vince, I hate your marketing obsession. They’ve bought the show. You don’t have to sell it to them again. This actually starts with a slugfest, which naturally doesn’t work for Bret. There’s a bit of a story going on here as Bret is trying to get at Diesel’s legs using all kinds of little tricks and quick moves while Diesel is just straight ahead power. I like that. Bret gets the leg and hammers it early which is odd.

We’re 5 minutes in and we’re on our seconds figure four. Vince says it’s perfect. Vince is wrong. Lawler uses that line I hate about how they’re the same size on the mat. No, Diesel is indeed still taller than Bret. Bret is acting a bit heelish here which the announcers point out. I love that suicide dive that Bret uses. It just looks awesome. Granted any version of that looks great.

Apparently one elbow from Diesel is like 10 average punches. So he has the strength of ten men. That’s amusing indeed. In a funny moment, Diesel gets Bret up in an Argentinean Back Breaker which starts like a powerbomb but Diesel stops to put the hold on. Bret gives a look to the referee and then realizes what’s going on. It looked funnier than it sounded.

In a weird spot, Bret wraps Diesel’s legs around the post and ties them with his tape to beat on him. This lasts about 5 seconds as the referee frees him. That was kind of stupid. We go to the floor…again and Bret hits a pescado but is caught and posted. Diesel goes for him again but then remembers to sell the knee injury. Thanks for that one big guy.

Diesel hits the jackknife but Shawn runs in for the save. He beats on Diesel and works on his leg, yet that’s not enough for a DQ. Well thanks guys. I guess we’re building up some screwjob credits for two and a half years from now. Bret hooks his third figure four of the match as the fans are so bored with it I’m amazed. Lawler channels his inner Heenan and keeps changing his pick. Dang it Nash sell the freaking knee!

Ok, this whole Bret can’t get disqualified thing is freaking stupid. He cracks Diesel in the knee with a chair and that’s not enough for a DQ. The referee has no issue with checking on a submission after that. Owen runs out for the save as this has just gotten stupid. Hey we’ve used chairs, posts, tape and run ins. Why not an exposed buckle? How can no one get that Bret is likely playing possum as he’s done it about once a match for years. Oh sure. Let’s knock out the referee now.

Owen, Shawn and Backlund and Jarrett and the Roadie run in and FINALLY we get the DQ. So let me get this straight: it was always going to be a double DQ, yet we had to sit through all of those run ins, weapon shots and just absurdity to get there? Why did the heels have to wait for the referee to go down? No one else got disqualified earlier for it.

The announcement of the draw, so apparently they still didn’t get disqualified, gets booed out of the building. Bret gets put in the chicken wing but Diesel breaks it up as his knee is just fine all of a sudden. I hate that. The faces shake hands which I’m ok with. Oh NOW the knee hurts again. Thanks for that one Nash.

Rating: B-. I know I blasted the ending and a lot of this match, but that likely wasn’t fair. This really was a solid match for about 80% of it, but dang they did too much with this. If you want to have the ending the way you had it that’s fine, but why have the run ins earlier in the match like that? I just don’t get that part. I get not wanting to have either guy be made to look weak, but this was just too much overkill for my taste.

That being said, when it was just Bret vs. Diesel, there was a of great stuff in there. The psychology was there, but Diesel, I can’t emphasize this enough: SELL THE KNEE NEXT TIME! I mean Bret worked the heck out of that thing and Diesel barely limped half the time. Anyway, this was solid enough, but the booking didn’t make a ton of sense in my eyes.

Holly and 1-2-3 Kid are in the back and say they believe in themselves.

King draws a picture of himself kissing Anderson using a telestrator. He’s talented but that was pointless.

Tag Titles: Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka vs. Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid

This is the final of a tournament after Shawn and Diesel split and dropped the titles. Holly and the Kid are doing the whole underdog that won’t die thing that no one likes but Vince insists we’re always enthralled with. The heels are completely dominating for about the first 8 minutes or so. I know that’s kind of a blanket statement, but dang this just isn’t even close.

Why should we buy either of these guys as having a snowball’s chance in the world of beating Bigelow or Tatanka. They mention Lou Albano which is still kind of sad. We get it: Holly drives cars. As if we don’t have enough dominance here, Kid accidentally hits Holly. Vince points out that the faces haven’t been around for long and were thrown together. Way to bury the teams they’ve beaten Vince.

Oh apparently they were supposed to be the Smoking Gunns but there was a rodeo accident. I don’t want to know. Holly actually tries to tag in Tatanka. This is just stupid at this point. The faces make a brief comeback which given the way they booked it is something close to believable. Kid is launched to the floor and Bigelow goes up for the moonsault. Tatanka picks that moment to hit the ropes though, and Bigelow crashes to the mat back first.

Holly hits a running forearm to knock the stereotype to the floor and the referee starts a double count. He gets to EIGHT and Kid puts an arm over Bigelow for the pin, SEVENTEEN SECONDS after he hit the mat. So let me get this straight. Falling about 12 feet to concrete keeps you down for about 5 seconds in the Kid’s case, but falling about 6 keeps you down at least 20 seconds? Yeah I hate this match.

As if that’s not enough, the Gunns would win the belts the next night on Raw, which makes me want to know something: WHY DIDN’T THEY JUST WIN THE FREAKING TOURNAMENT??? If you want to put the titles on the Cowboys, that’s fine. However, why not just have them go over Bigelow and Tatanka here?

Oh that’s right: to further Bigelow’s mindless face turn that happened because he kept losing to guys like Kid and Lawrence Taylor of all people. Where did that turn wind up? Oh yeah: Japan and ECW. Thanks for taking care of your audience Vince.

Rating: D+. I HATE matches where one team completely dominates and then a mistake at the end gives the other guy/team the win. That’s just lazy booking and it makes the winners look completely weak. Bigelow and Tatanka shouldn’t have won, but the faces should have been the freaking Guns. How hard is it to just think for a minute and not overbook the heck out of a match? This is Vince’s biggest flaw as a booker: he over complicates everything.

Post match, Taylor is laughing at Bigelow so the big bald man shoves him and we have our Mania main event. Man I hate 1995 wrestling. This takes 10 minutes somehow.

We get a ton of interviews about the Rumble that I don’t feel like recapping. Everyone says they’ll win and say stuff about Pamela Anderson because she’s more important than Wrestlemania.

Royal Rumble

Oh wait we have to let Pam look bored out of her mind and pretend to be into this for awhile first. I hate celebrities being in wrestling. Anyway, Shawn is first and Bulldog as second. Oh and this year it’s one minute because we just HAD to have all those other matches and we don’t have time for actual intervals. Good night Shawn calls spots loudly at times.

Bulldog has Shawn in a gorilla press but of course slams him instead of throwing him over. Shawn is getting the tar beaten out of him as Eli Blu (Skull of the DOA) comes out as 3. We’re 10% of the way through already which is just stupid. Oh come on we’re at the countdown already? Duke Drose is 4th. What kind of a name is the Dumpster? It’s just stupid.

His gimmick was a wrestling garbage man. That’s beyond any and all logic whatsoever. Let the countdown begin! It’s Jimmy Del Ray who means nothing at all for the most part. We get some heel vs. heel mullet action with him fighting Shawn. Sixth is Sione (Barbarian) as I already hate this match. Del Ray is the first guy out as Shawn keeps surviving in impressive ways.

In at seven is Tom Pritchard, Del Ray’s partner because we have to keep a high level of suckage in there. Vince is in full blown over the top mode here as he asks Lawler if every guy that he likes is going to win the Rumble. Also notice that Vince always says Royal Rumble instead of just Rumble. He has to make sure it’s said correctly. Doink is eighth as this match is rapidly catching 93 as worst Rumble of all time.

Everything is all over the place and the time intervals are just killing it. Granted the whole and complete lack of interesting talent is killing it too. Kwang is in at 9 as I’m thinking about throwing on some Family Ties which I’m not a fan of but it would be more interesting than this.

We’re at double digits with Rick Martel who never changes at all. Del Ray is the only elimination at the moment so the ring is full. That’s another issue with this: You can’t get rid of people without making them look weak, but at the same time you can’t let the ring get this full because it’s too cluttered. That clock is really starting to tick me off. Owen is number 11.

Bret runs out to jump him though on his way to the ring in the most interesting thing in the whole match so far. Now everything starts going insane. Timothy Well (of Well Dunn) is number 12 to a big pop? No actually Bulldog threw Owen out about a second after he got in. At the same time I think Martel went out and Droese was thrown over and landed on Earl Hebner in an unplanned spot. Well is gone also.

Oh Martel just got thrown out. Pritchard is out and we have Doink, Barbarian, Shawn, Bulldog, Eli and Kwang. Doink is out as Luke of the Bushwackers comes out. In an elimination that you can only see on the screen and isn’t acknowledged by Vince or Jerry, Barbarian throws out Kwang and then he and Eli eliminate each other. That leaves us with Shawn, Bulldog and Luke. This is making my head hurt.

He’s in there about 10 seconds as Shawn throws him out. He still had a job at this point? Why? Jerry is timing people with his Mickey Mouse watch. That sounds like a simple comedy one liner right? This confuses the HECK out of Vince. You can tell he’s just thrown completely off by it which granted could have been him fighting back laughter. Now I want a Mickey watch. Jacob Blu (8-Ball of the DOA) is number 14 as we’re nearly halfway done and 15 minutes hasn’t passed yet.

Shawn dumps him in about 15 seconds and we’re back to the first two all over again. Former Wrestlemania main event level talent King Kong Bundy is our halfway man. We get a replay of Owen being eliminated, which was a mere five minutes ago. This show should be shown to ROH fans as a torture method. Mo is in next and Bundy becomes my hero by putting him out in three seconds. Naturally Mabel is next as we continue the dumb tag partners in a row tradition.

Of course he goes right after Bundy and we have a bad battle of the big men which can indeed get old. Eighteen (seriously?) is Butch. Bundy is gone and Butch follows soon thereafter. Both guys (Mabel and Bulldog) try to put out Shawn as Luger the midcard guy is 19th. Dang he fell very far very fast. He puts out Mabel with ease.

Mantaur is number 20 as my eyes roll. He’s supposed to be half man and half bull I think but it was never really explained. This is easily his crowning achievement though so take that for what it’s worth. 21st is Aldo Montoya who is more commonly known as Justin Credible and more commonly known as the guy wearing a jockstrap on his face. Henry Godwin is 22nd and the sixth guy in along with Luger, Mantaur, Bulldog, Shawn and Montoya.

He’s a heel here for no apparent reason. We see Pamela who looks like she’s being told she is about to drink yak urine. Our Jordan entrant is Billy Gunn. WAIT A SECOND! He was too injured to fight in the tournament but he can fight here. I hate Vince. Oh apparently they were injured to keep them out of the tournament but they get a title shot tomorrow instead? I’d just fake injuries to get title shot after title shot.

Bart is of course 24th because tag partners always get the same numbers. In case you can’t tell I hate this match to a great extent. Bob Backlund is next as we have 5 left. Oh look it’s Bret playing policeman again. They would fight at Mania in an ok at best rematch from Survivor Series. Next is Steven Dunn since we have to further lower our intelligence. In case you can’t tell, the final two will be Shawn and Bulldog.

Backlund is out after being in about 15 seconds. Bret stays in the spotlight by jumping him again. As that happens, Dick freaking Murdoch is in at 27. He’s 48 here and would be dead in about a year and a half. He’s also in the KKK but that’s not likely to be mentioned. No one has a clue who he is by the way. It amazes me that he can get an entry here. Were they that hard up for talent that he’s the best they can get?

What’s even worse is he’s more energetic than most people in there. Adam Bomb who should have been pushed harder than he was is 28th. There’s like 10 guys in there and I’m not even bothering to recap them as it’s obvious what’s going to happen in case you can’t tell. Fatu is the penultimate guy. Luger gets Mantaur on the ropes and shakes him up and down to get him out which just looked stupid. He’s out though.

Crush who also should have been pushed is number thirty. Like I said I’m not wasting my time on listing them. The Gunns go out at the same time because of Murdoch and Crush. Murdoch looks pretty good out there actually. We go back to Anderson who points back at the ring as in get off me so I can be miserable and then get my check. I think there’s 9 people in there. Let’s up the stupidity a bit as Vince says that never again will two guys go out at the same time and hit at the same time.

Of course, this ended the show last year and JUST HAPPENED. Luger saves Michaels for no apparent reason. Bomb goes out. I nearly spit out my drink as Vince says he was a favorite. That’s just amusing. He’s young and over and decent. There’s no way he could do anything of note. Montoya is out and AGAIN Luger saves Michaels. Is he that scared of the power of Murdoch? The final six are Luger, Murdoch, Godwin, Bulldog, Shawn and Crush.

Murdoch is by far the most interesting guy in here as he hooks an airplane spin but falls out when trying to dump Godwin. Shawn sprints at Luger which is awesome. This just needs to end as it’s not interesting at all. Godwin is out and we’re at the final four. Crush puts out Luger and I think some nachos sound good here. The heels beat on Bulldog for a bit as we’re just wasting time. Crush tries to jump Shawn but Bulldog sneaks up and drops Crush to get us down to the starters.

We get the famous ending as Bulldog clotheslines Shawn up and over and the music hits for the celebration. But wait. What’s this? Shawn jumps back in and nails Smith to put him over the top and he’s declared the winner. For the only time this will ever be said, Vince is awesome on the mic here. Fink announces that only one foot hit and Vince is stunned. We go to the replay and in one of the coolest and most impressive things I’ve ever seen in wrestling, Shawn’s foot does not touch.

That’s amazing and very risky as if he slips one inch, and who could blame him if he did, the next few months have to be completely altered. Anyway, Shawn wins and he and Pam “celebrate” as it looks like she wants to scream. She even leaves halfway through it as Shawn poses to end the show.

Rating: D+. This has been called the Jobber Rumble and it fits perfectly. I mean look at the list of people. The only ones that were ever going to have a chance were Shawn and Luger, both of whom were midcard guys at best here. The whole thing was just messed up with no monsters to save anything and no one that was a big star to be a big surprise. That’s just stupid.

The one minute intervals are just flat out stupid too. There’s zero time to get going at all and it was just stupid. This did however get two things right: the ending was downright inspired. That’s one o the best ways I can think of to end the thing and the key to it for me is Shawn won completely legally. He earned the win and that’s the most important thing as it ties into the other thing they got right: a midcard guy got elevated.

Shawn goes from IC Title dude to world title shot at Mania in less than 40 minutes. That’s what the Rumble could be for yet never is. They got the end right, but the road getting there was just awful. This could be worse than 93 but I don’t think it quite is.

Overall Rating: C-. This show is just not great at all. It’s the epitome of just being there. It’s not good or bad although it’s leaning towards that latter of the two. The matches are just uninteresting and this feels like it could be on any show at all. Yes we have three title matches, but while they’re good, they could easily have happened on Raws or any run of the mill PPV.

It’s a show where the matches don’t add up to the whole show, as this just feels completely empty despite having some decent stuff on it. I’d say check this out only in extreme cases of boredom or for hardcore fans only. The casual viewer will just be bored to tears, which the ratings around this time reflect. This show was bad, but the individual stuff was ok I guess.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestle Kingdom XV Night One
Date: January 4, 2021
Location: Tokyo Dome, Tokyo, Japan
Attendance: 12,689
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Chris Charlton, Rocky Romero

It’s time for the biggest non-American show of the year and like last year it’s going to take place over the course of two nights. The main event is for the still unified IWGP Heavyweight and Intercontinental Titles, which have been together for a year now for some reason. This show almost always delivers and hopefully it does so again. Let’s get to it.

Note that I have barely followed any New Japan over the last year so I’m coming in virtually blind.

Pre-Show: New Japan Rambo

This is the 21 man Royal Rumble style match with pin/submission or over the top eliminations and a special twist this year: the final four advance to a four way for the Provisional King Of Pro Wrestling Trophy tomorrow night. Chase Owens is in at #1 (as he wanted) and Tomohiro Ishii is in at #2 with neither being able to hit an early finisher attempt. That means a standoff and with the one minute interval up, Minoru Suzuki is in at #3.

Owens needs a breather on the floor before coming back in to get beaten up by the monsters. Ishii and Suzuki forearm it out and it’s Yuji Nagata in at #4. Owens and Ishii pair off in the corner as Suzuki beats Nagata down at the same time. Toa Henare (a young monster) is in at #5 to miss a bunch of shots to Ishii. Henare manages to muscle Ishii up with a suplex and it’s Hirooki Goto in at #6.

Ishii sends Nagata and Suzuki to the apron and Henare gets rid of both of them (that’s a surprise). Goto elbows Owens down for two and it’s Yujiro Takahashi in at #7. Ishii dumps Henare as they’re keeping the eliminations moving (I wonder if that’s a Coronavirus thing). Yoshi-Hashi is in at #8 to help clean house with Goto (his partner) until Togi Makabe is in at #9. Makabe gets rid of Goto and Yoshi-Hashi in a hurry, meaning we’re down to Makabe, Owens, Ishii and Takahashi at the moment. Eliminations are teased Tomoaki Honma is in at #10.

Forearms and chops abound until Hiroyoshi Tenzan is in at #11. Honma and Tenzan get rid of Makabe (Honma’s regular partner) and Rocky Romero (who is supposed to be on commentary) is in at #12. Owens saves himself from elimination and it’s Douki in at #13. The pace picks up a bit with Romero hitting the forever clotheslines but Douki hits him with a pipe…..for a DQ elimination. Fair enough and makes sense here.

Sho is in at #14 and seems to be a female favorite, though he can’t get rid of Owens. Bushi is in at #15 as the ring is getting a little full. Takahashi is out to clear things up a bit and Bushi is sent through the ropes, meaning no elimination. Tiger Mask is in at #16 and gets kneed in the ribs by Romero. Bad Luck Fale is in at #17 and, with the help of Bullet Club stablemate Owens, gets rid of Ishii. Honma is out as well as Gabriel Kidd is in at #18.

There goes Tenzan as well but Owens saves Fale from the same thing. Yuya Uemura is in at #19 as Fale gets rid of Romero and Sho. Tiger Mask is out as well, leaving us with Fale, Owens, Kidd and Uemura at the moment. Yota Tsu is in at #20 as Bushi, still in apparently, pulls Owens underneath the bottom rope to beat him up on the floor.

Fale is having none of this getting dumped out by three people and it’s Toru Yano (the KOPW Champion) to complete the field at #21. That leaves us with Owens, Fale, Kidd, Uemura, Tsu, Bushi and Yano, the latter of whom takes so long to get in that it’s just Bushi, Fale and Owens waiting on him….meaning they’re the final four at 34:40. Yano never even got in the ring.

Rating: C. This wasn’t as crazy entertaining as some of the matches, but Yano’s gag at the end was funny. As usual, this was nothing more than a way to get people out there for the sake of getting them in there and it worked out just fine. It’s a nice way to get a feeling for the show and not do anything serious at the same time. Fun match, and that’s all it was supposed to be.

A ring announcer with a Don King wig introduces Riki Choshu, with his grandson, to get things going. They hype up the show and shout a lot.

We get the opening video, showing the card in order (still not sure if I like that or not but it works here).

A quick Brodie Lee intro serves as a nice dedication.

Hiromu Takahashi vs. El Phantasmo

This is the Best of the Super Juniors winner vs. the Best of the Super J Cup winner (twice in a row for Phantasmo) with the winner getting an IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title match tomorrow night. Phantasmo is not the nicest person in the world and throw down the jacket he received for winning the tournament. He even mocks Takahashi for trying to pick it up. What a jerk.

Phantasmo bails to the floor at the bell and throws Takahashi’s trophy down. The jacket is picked up but Takahashi dropkicks him down and hits a top rope backsplash to a standing Phantasmo. It’s way too early for the Time Bomb though and Phantasmo bails to the floor. Instead Phantasmo hits a running sunset bomb to plant Takahashi on the floor as they’re starting fast here. Takahashi is down so Phantasmo walks the ropes for a moonsault to drop him again.

Phantasmo comes up favoring his ankle (apparently a recurring injury) but he’s fine enough to mock the Rise of the Terminator. That’s enough of a delay for Takahashi to come back in with a dropkick to the back of the head but Phantasmo goes after Takahashi’s foot. There’s a rake to the back and Phantasmo lays him on the top rope for a top rope backsplash (that’s a new one). A very multiple springboard rope walk….something is broken up with a crotching to put Phantasmo down on top.

Phantasmo is back up but can’t hit the Styles Clash, allowing Takahashi to hit some kind of a powerslam for two. A superkick into a suplex faceplant gets two more on Phantasmo. Back up and Time Bomb 2 (starts in a reverse suplex whatever it is) is countered into a kneeling belly to back piledriver for two on Takahashi. Phantasmo’s top rope superplex is broken up but the referee gets bumped, allowing Phantasmo to hit a super hurricanrana.

The top rope splash gives Phantasmo two more, followed by the Styles Clash for the same. Phantasmo tries the One Winged Angel but gets reversed into a Death Valley Driver into the corner. Back up and Phantasmo tries what looks like a powerbomb (CR2) but gets reversed into a hurricanrana for the pin at 17:49.

Rating: B+. That’s the kind of way to open up a big time show like this as they had the time and got to build things up rather well. Takahashi is a consistent star and Phantasmo looks like one of the most dislikeable names in all of the promotion. The counters and big moves here, tied in with Phantasmo going through the history of the Bullet Club finishers, made for a good match and it pulled me into the show as it was supposed to do.

IWGP Tag Team Titles: Guerrillas of Destiny vs. Dangerous Tekkers

The Tekkers (Zack Sabre Jr./Taichi) are defending against the World Tag League winners (Tama Tonga/Tonga Loa, who I will get confused at least 17 times today. Jado is with them too for a bonus.). Tama is taken into the corner for a running elbow and it’s time to choke away a lot. Sabre’s cross armbreaker doesn’t last long so it’s a running boot in the corner to set up more choking from Taichi.

A Jado distraction lets the Guerrillas take over though and Tama unloads on Taichi with right hands. Loa gets two off a belly to back suplex and we hit the chinlock. Taichi fights up and hits a boot in the corner, allowing the tag back to Sabre. That means some running elbows in the corner, setting up the European Clutch for two on Tama. The Octopus goes on to send Tama to the rope but Loa is back in with a double clothesline to the champs. A jumping neckbreaker gets two on Sabre, whose sleeper is broken up in a hurry.

Tama powerbombs Sabre for two and Guerrilla Warfare (a reverse Magic Killer) drops Taichi. Sabre counters the superbomb into a guillotine choke on Tama while Taichi chokes Loa as well. Taichi lets go and then powerbombs Sabre to superplex Tama for a close two (that was cool, though maybe not the most brilliant move). A kick to the head gets two more on Tama but he’s right back up for a failed Magic Killer attempt.

An exchange of shots to the head puts everyone down and we get a breather. Taichi and Loa slug it out until Sabre is back up to kick Loa in the face. Tama is back up with the Gun Stun to Sabre but Taichi plants him for two more. Taichi removes his pants (Garza wannabe) but Jado gets in to slip Tama a glove. That means Taichi is knocked out and an over the shoulder sitout piledriver gives Loa the pin and the titles at 19:22.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t feeling this one as much and the interference didn’t help. The Guerrillas are still one of the best teams in the world but it was kind of a messy match. You have Sabre as the most heelish guy in the world and the Guerrillas cheating to win, so who was I supposed to boo here? It was a good match with both teams working hard, but not exactly must see stuff.

We get a video about death riding on a pale horse….and it’s IWGP United States Champion Jon Moxley, saying that he’s coming for whoever wins the next match because he’s the Boogeyman of New Japan.

Kenta vs. Satoshi Kojima

Kenta’s IWGP United States Title shot is on the line and Kojima, with Hiroyoshi Tenzan, is replacing an injured Juice Robinson. Kenta hits the stall button to start by hiding in the ropes and then going to the floor. Back in and Kojima grabs the headlock to grind him down before knocking Kenta outside again. This time Kenta goes after Tenzan so Kojima follows, only to get caught in a DDT on the floor.

They head inside again with Kenta’s regular DDT getting two and a kick to the back rocking Kojima. We hit the figure four necklock so Kojima goes with the simple escape by putting a foot on the rope. The cocky kicks just annoy Kojima but a big kick to the chest puts him down. Back up and some chops have Kenta in trouble, including the machine gun chops in the corner. A superplex brings Kojima down though and the top rope clothesline gets two.

They fight to the apron with Kojima hitting a DDT but Kenta is back with his own DDT for the double knockdown. It’s Kenta up first with a top rope double stomp for two but Kojima blocks the GTS. Kojima’s lariat is countered into a powerslam so Kenta goes outside for the briefcase (#1 contendership). That’s knocked away with the lariat and another lariat gives Kojima two. Kenta hits his running knee but Kojima slugs away with forearms of his own. That just earns Kojima another running knee for two and it’s the Go To Sleep to retain the title at 14:09.

Rating: B-. Like the previous match, they hit each other rather hard for a good while but there was no drama to this one. I didn’t but Kojima as a threat to win the title shot as it seems that Kenta vs. Moxley is already locked into stone. It wasn’t bad by any means, but it was just a match that came and went with Kenta surviving Kojima without much effort.

We get a video of IWGP World Champion Tetsuya Naito talking to a man in a suit in a restaurant. Naito says something about Los Ingobernables and the man seems to be trying to calm him down. Apparently this is an ad for a video game. Cool enough.

We pause for a bit for some cleaning of the ringside for Coronavirus’ sake. That means an intermission, with commentary previewing the rest of the show.

We get some ads as well, meaning it’s a nice breather in a long show.

Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Great-O-Khan

Khan is formerly known as Tomoyuki Oka, who recently returned from excursion to Rev Pro in the United Kingdom. Now he’s part of the Empire with Bea Priestley and Will Ospreay and attacked Tanahashi to set this up. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get anywhere until Tanahashi takes him to the mat. A headlock has Khan in trouble but he’s back up with a chop to the chest.

Tanahashi tries to skin the cat but gets his hands chopped down to put him on the floor. A slam drops Tanahashi on the ramp and he has to dive back in to beat the count. Back in and Khan grabs a kneebar but Tanahashi is able to grab a dragon screw legwhip. Some forearms have Khan down and a middle rope Swanton gets two. Khan is fine enough to reverse a Sling Blade attempt into a belly to back faceplant and it’s time to slug it out. A Downward Spiral gives Khan two and he bends Tanahashi’s knee around his neck.

That’s broken up with a rope break so Khan sends him over the top, but this time skinning the cat works. Twist and Shout into the Sling Blade gets two on Khan and Tanahashi blocks his claw slam (the Eliminator). A belly to back flipping suplex gets two on Tanahashi and a reverse suplex puts him down again. Khan brings in a chair but Tanahashi hits another Twist and Shout. The chair is thrown away and a dragon suplex gets two. Back to back High Fly Flow’s finish Khan at 17:26.

Rating: C-. What was that??? Khan feels like he stepped into a time machine on his way to being a Hogan knockoff Monster of the Month in 1986 and wound up in an entirely wrong time. Tanahashi was doing his thing as well as he could but Khan was in the old pound away and squeeze on the hero mold and that was boring almost thirty years ago. Khan felt so completely out of place here and I get the bad reports I’ve seen of him. Maybe he can do something outside of this gimmick, but this was REALLY bad for a Wrestle Kingdom match.

We recap Will Ospreay vs. Kazuchika Okada. Ospreay is the leader of the Empire and attacked Okada to get attention on the team. Now it’s time for revenge. Ospreay saying he is going to stop the rain so the sun can shine on the Empire is a great line.

Kazuchika Okada vs. Will Ospreay

Ospreay’s British Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line. Bea Priestley is here with Ospreay, who gets the big entrance video, featuring him breaking televisions with a bat. They stare at each other for a good while to start before locking up to a standoff. The rapid exchange of forearms is on until Okada scores with a running elbow to the face. Ospreay gets knocked to the floor to start the chop off, with Okada getting the better of things. The big running flip dive takes Ospreay down again but it feels like they have a lot of time here.

Priestley offers a distraction though and Ospreay gets in a cheap shot from behind. The floor mats are pulled back but Ospreay can’t hit a piledriver. He can hit a neckbreaker onto the pads but the referee won’t count it because of the illegalness. That’s a new/cool one. A backbreaker connects and we hit a chinlock with a knee in Okada’s back but he isn’t sitting in that for very long. One heck of a backdrop sets up the White Noise onto the knee for two but it’s too early for the Money Clip (cobra clutch) as Ospreay drives him into the corner.

A German suplex gives Ospreay two but Stormbreaker is broken up as well. Heavy Rain puts Ospreay down again and we get a bit of a breather. Ospreay gets a boot up in the corner but gets dropkicked out to the floor for a big crash. A big whip into the barricade doesn’t do much to Ospreay, who is back with a boot to the face. The Oscutter on the floor is broken up though and they’re both down on the outside. Back in and Okada hits a missile dropkick but Ospreay grabs a reverse Bloody Sunday for two more.

Ospreay superkicks him in the back of the head so Okada hits a dropkick to the back of the head. Okada’s dropkick is countered into a sitout powerbomb (nice) for another near fall and they have to pull themselves up. Another collision puts them on the floor again but this time Ospreay suplexes him onto (not through) the announcers’ table. Ospreay doesn’t want the countout though and throws Okada back in for two off a powerbomb.

Stormbreaker and the Oscutter on the apron are blocked so Okada hits a Tombstone on the apron instead. They both beat the count so Okada hits a Rainmaker into the dropkick into the Money Clip. With that broken up, Okada hits the Tombstone but has to send Ospreay into Priestley onto the apron. The Money Clip goes on again but a foot on the rope is good enough for the break. Ospreay catches him on top with a running big boot and there’s the super Spanish Fly for two (applause).

The Oscutter drops Okada for a slightly delayed two so it’s time to stomp Okada in the head. Ospreay even shoves the referee down but this is too big of a match for a DQ. A discus elbow is countered with a dropkick and the Money Clip goes on again. That’s broken up so Ospreay hits his own Tombstone into the Rainmaker for two. Okada is ticked so it’s a sitout Tombstone into the Rainmaker for the pin at 35:29.

Rating: A. These are two of the best in-ring performers in the world and they got over half an hour on one of the biggest shows of the year. Like this could be anything else. There was a story here of Ospreay trying to step up and mess with the biggest dog but he took it one step too far by stealing the Rainmaker and Okada had to teach him a lesson. Okada really is one of the smoothest wrestlers I’ve ever seen and as great as high flying Ospreay is, the heel version has a different edge to him and it’s awesome. This was great and worth seeing for the last few minutes alone.

We recap the main event. Tetsuya Naito became a double (IWGP Heavyweight and IWGP Intercontinental) Champion last year at Wrestle Kingdom, then lost the belts and won them back. Kota Ibushi won the G1 but lost the rights to challenge for the title to Jay White. However, White wanted to challenge on Night Two so Ibushi gets to challenge here instead. I’m sure there’s more to it than that but the language barrier strikes again.

IWGP Heavyweight Title/IWGP Intercontinental Title: Kota Ibushi vs. Tetsuya Naito

Naito is defending both titles and absolutely he has the white suit. Feeling out process to start and they go to the mat, as you might have expected. Naito goes for a choke but gets reversed into a hammerlock. That doesn’t go anywhere either and the grappling continues until it’s a standoff, with Naito landing in the tranquillo pose. Back up and they run the ropes with Kota snapping off a hurricanrana to the floor.

Kota joins him and gets German suplexed onto the ramp to put them both down for a bit. Naito stomps away back inside and it’s off to a headscissors on the mat. A cravate stays on the neck but the tornado DDT is broken up, allowing Kota to snap off a dropkick. Kota hits a running kick to the face into a standing moonsault for two and they need a quick breather. It’s Naito up first with an elbow to the face and a running dropkick, only to have Kota send him to the floor.

Naito grabs a swinging neckbreaker outside though and they’re both down again. Back in and something like a full nelson with the legs stays on Kota’s neck until he gets a foot on the rope. Naito tries to slide between his legs and gets double stomped in the ribs to put them both down again at the fifteen minute time call. The middle rope moonsault missed for Kota and he gets pulled into a reverse Koji Clutch (the consistent neck work has been really good so far, if nothing else because Naito isn’t doing the same thing over and over).

The rope gets Kota out of trouble again so Naito elbows him in the neck to put him back down. They go to the apron again with Naito backdropping his way out of a powerbomb attempt. That’s fine with Kota, who snaps off a good looking hurricanrana to the floor. Naito has to dive back in to beat the count (with commentary begging him to make it because they want to see more rather than insulting each other and making it about themselves) and catches Kota on top for a super poisonrana.

Destino is broken up though and Kota kicks him in the head. Another Destino attempt is countered into a kneeling Tombstone but Kota can’t cover. They’re both down so the fans applaud, even as the two of them slug it out from their knees to their feet, with Kota nailing a running elbow. The big knee to the face gets two on Naito and Kota can’t believe it was a near fall.

The Phoenix splash misses and Destino (not a great one) connects for two on Kota, sending Kelly into a rather awesome call about what this all means. Kota hits another kick to the head into another knee to the face for a very near fall, meaning it’s time to take the kneepad down. Naito isn’t having that and hits an enziguri, looking to set up Destino. That’s countered as well and it’s a jumping knee into the face, setting up another knee to the face to finish Naito for the pin and both titles at 31:22.

Rating: A. Yeah this was great too with Naito working on the neck throughout but surviving because he wouldn’t give up no matter what. This one was more built around who was going to be the last man standing and it worked perfectly, with Kota looking like he survived rather than won. Naito didn’t quite have the heart to hold onto the titles and Kota looks like the better man. It says a lot when the match ran over half an hour at the end of a 5+ hour show and I wanted it to go longer, so well done.

Post match Kota doesn’t even realize he won until the referee spells it out for him. Naito gets up and hands him the titles in the respect moment. With Naito gone, here’s Jay White to say that Kota isn’t the real champion, because tomorrow White is winning both titles to fulfill his own destino. White leaves and Kota says that that he’ll prove everything tomorrow. You know what he’s going to say here and he thanks the fans to wrap things up.

Commentary talks about how we need some good things going on and in the end, good will triumph over evil. They spend about ten minutes wrapping up the evening.

Overall Rating: A-. The show does run a little long and the Khan/Tanahashi match brings things down a lot, but that’s as good of a one two punch of a main event as I’ve seen in a long time. NJPW still has some quite probably the best wrestling going today and while the two nights thing is a lot, it’s not a lot every few weeks so it’s acceptable. Great show overall here, and the second night has a lot to top.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 4, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe

It’s another major show with another Legends reunion. This time around the focus is on Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and Torrie Wilson for some reason but other than that, it seems like they are in for a bunch of appearances. Other than that, we have Keith Lee challenging Drew McIntyre for the WWE Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a shot of Hulk Hogan’s picture on the back of a phone. Hogan introduces it as the H Phone, which can let you YouTube, Instagram, Tweet and even make a phone call. Hulk says you can even use it for a phone call. Posing ensues.

It’s time for MizTV with John Morrison listing off all of tonight’s legends. The guests this week are the New Day, who say they have their own talk show called New Day Talks. Xavier Woods serves as the band, with Miz not being sure what to make of this. Now it’s Woods turning into the bailiff for the first question: What are your New Year’s Resolutions? Morrison wants to graduate from hibachi school and take a photo every day so he can do one of those cool photo montages at the end of the year.

Miz isn’t pleased so Kofi asks the next question: which legend would you like to have dinner with? Morrison: “Tatanka. Definitely Tatanka.” That means it’s time for the cooking portion of the show but Miz erupt Miz erupts. Cue Teddy Long for our first cameo to say he has an idea: Miz and Morrison can face THE UNDERTAKER. That brings out Adam Pearce for a correction, so maybe we can just have a tag team match, next. Teddy didn’t exactly sound as usual here, as he was rushing through his stuff. If this is their best idea to open the show, they deserve to lose every fan they have.

New Day vs. Miz/John Morrison

Woods runs Morrison over to start and hands it off to Kofi for more of the same. It’s already back to Woods but Miz comes in to knee him in the ribs. Kofi comes back in with the spinning crossbody for two and there’s a kick to Miz’s chest. Morrison misses the running shooting star press though and a dropkick to the chest gives Kofi two. Miz and Morrison are sent outside for the big dive from Kofi and we take a break.

Back with Morrison kicking Kofi in the head and handing it to Miz for the left hands. Miz cranks on both arms so Kofi fights up, earning himself a knee to the ribs. The Figure Four is countered into the SOS, which is enough for the hot tag to Woods. House is cleaned, including the discus forearm to Morrison. Kofi dives off the steps with an ax handle to Miz and a Shining Wizard finishes Morrison at 13:16.

Rating: C+. The action was good but this wasn’t exactly an inspiring tag match to get things going. Miz and Morrison are a better choice in the ring than either of them on their own, though I could still go for more than this as a way to start off what is supposed to be a special show. It could have been on any given show and that’s not a good sign.

We recap Randy Orton almost setting Alexa Bliss on fire last week.

Orton says he wanted to do it last week but he couldn’t make himself go there. Maybe that is the change that the Fiend has brought on him because he showed restraint and compassion. He hates himself for it but that means he can sculpt that anger into being anything and everything. Can you imagine if he directs that newfound hatred for himself towards someone else? He doesn’t want to talk about the Fiend, because he wants to go talk to some legends about why he is the Legend Killer.

We look at Angel Garza winning the 24/7 Title from R-Truth at the New Year’s Eve celebration.

Garza hits on Alicia Fox but thinks that his title is more beautiful than she is. He moves on to Sgt. Slaughter, Tatanka and Mickie James, but Slaughter smells the rose and calls him a maggot. And that’s probably the last we’ll see of all of them.

AJ Styles vs. Elias

Omos and Jaxson Ryker are here as AJ takes him to the mat with a headlock to start. Elias comes back with some chops as we hear that AJ will be in the Royal Rumble. A Stun Gun cuts AJ off again and Elias gorilla presses him onto the turnbuckle. There’s a clothesline to knock AJ outside and we take a break.

Back with Elias hitting a chokeslam for two, with Ryker looking rather pleased at his influence. AJ gets in a shot of his own but the Phenomenal Forearm is kneed out of the air for a rather near fall. That’s enough for AJ, who counters an electric chair with a hurricane into the corner. A brainbuster sets up the Styles Clash to finish Elias at 7:35.

Rating: C. This was a good bit shorter than last week’s match and while it wasn’t great, it was a nice showcase for Elias. He might not be the most polished in the ring but putting him in the ring with AJ is going to make him look good. Having Ryker be a bit of an influence is a way to go and this worked well enough on most points.

Post match Ryker brings in the guitar but Omos comes in to kick it out of his hands. Ryker panics and leaves with Elias.

Charlotte is in the Royal Rumble.

Riddle tries to get Big Show to become the Big Bro. Show likes the idea and tells Riddle to keep thinking as Riddle leaves. Randy Orton comes in to remind Show what happened when they met last time. Show says he’s ready to go right now so Orton grabs him by the throat and Show sits down. He isn’t falling for Orton trying to get him to do something foolish because Show isn’t ashamed to be a legend. Orton leaves and Show simmers.

Charlotte/Asuka vs. Peyton Royce/Lacey Evans

Non-title and Ric Flair is here with Charlotte and Asuka. Lacey now has a Lacey The Legend hat to make it a special night. Charlotte takes Peyton down to start so Lacey comes in for a wave to Ric. The chase is on outside until Peyton gets in a few cheap shots on the way back in. The double teaming works for a bit but Charlotte hits Evans with a Downward Spiral in the corner.

Asuka comes in with a missile dropkick but gets knocked outside. That lets Evans seem to hit on Ric, earning herself a slap from Charlotte. The brawl is on and we take a break. Back with Asuka getting stomped down in the corner and Lacey grabbing a chinlock. Asuka fights up and hits a running clothesline to drop Royce, allowing the double tag to Evans and Charlotte.

Back to back fall away slams put Royce and Evans down, setting up the moonsault onto both of them. Asuka tags herself in though and hits a Shining Wizard for two on Royce. Charlotte tags herself in as well and it’s a Codebreaker from Asuka into a mostly missed Natural Selection on Royce. That’s broken up but Evans stops to hit on Ric again, who seems intrigued. Charlotte breaks that up but Ric accidentally trips her, allowing Royce to grab a crucifix for the pin at 12:33.

Rating: C-. Well at least one of the legends finally did something, even if it was a mistake. I would bet on this being more about Flair than anyone else, because WWE has a tendency to make every story about him in one way or another. Hopefully it means a way to get the titles off of Asuka and Charlotte, because it’s not like they need them in any way./

Post match Evans kisses Ric on the cheek as Ric is upset. Charlotte gets in his face and says stay out of her business. The crushed Flair leaves again, because we needed to do this story for at least a second time.

Sheamus fires Drew McIntyre up for the main event and says kick Keith Lee in the head one extra time. Cue Hulk Hogan and Jimmy Hart to say he’s a big fan of Sheamus. He also says Drew is a great champion who reminds him of himself. Drew thanks him for the praise and asks if Sheamus reminds him of Jimmy. Hart: “I can see the resemblance!” Jimmy Hart is a national treasure. Sheamus offers to have drinks with Hulk and Drew, but not Jimmy, earning himself a shouting from the megaphone. Drew and Hogan hit the catchphrase after a nice endorsement (ignore that Hogan’s arms are still bigger than Drew’s).

Riddle vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and MVP is here with Lashley. Riddle jumps him before the bell and we’re ready to go with Lashley sending him into the corner to start fast. A hurricanrana out of the corner puts Lashley on the floor but he catches Riddle in a fireman’s carry. Lashley drives him HARD into the post and we take a break. Back with Riddle fighting out of a chinlock but getting blasted with a clothesline.

Lashley hammers away in the corner but the spinning Dominator is countered, allowing Riddle to hit the kick to the chest. The Final Flash gives Riddle one but Lashley catches him on top. The Dominator connects for no cover as Lashley goes with the Hurt Lock. Riddle tries to fight out and bounces off the ropes, with the referee having to duck. That means the referee doesn’t see Riddle tap, making Lashley let go. Lashley doesn’t get why he didn’t win and gets rolled up for the pin at 9:07.

Rating: C. It was energized while it lasted and the ending likely sets up a title rematch at the Rumble. What mattered most here was commentary asking if Riddle was really giving up or if it was a way to sneak in a win. Just putting that idea out there makes Riddle look far stronger and keeps him looking a lot stronger going into the probably title match.

Mark Henry, on a scooter, tells Ricochet to stay with it. Ricochet leaves and here’s Orton to pop up and enter the Royal Rumble. He asks if Henry is entering as well but sees that he won’t be able to due to whatever is wrong with his leg. Henry is ready to leave but Orton threatens him. That means Henry can either leave right now or have Orton strike. A dejected Henry leaves.

MVP insists that Riddle quit so there is no controversy. Lashley promises punishment.

Mandy Rose vs. Shayna Baszler

Baszler jumps her during the entrance and beats the heck out of Mandy, meaning it’s Dana Brooke running in for the save. We have a replacement.

Dana Brooke vs. Shayna Baszler

The Kirifuda Clutch goes on but Dana reverses into a rollup for the pin at 36 seconds.

Post match Mandy has to save Dana from the Kirifuda Clutch and a flapjack plants Shayna.

Ric Flair talks to IRS and Molly Holly when Randy Orton pops up. IRS and Molly leave so Orton asks Flair to walk the aisle with him tonight. Don’t worry, because Orton isn’t going to let Flair screw up again. Flair says no because Orton has done it himself, sending Orton into a rant about how much better Charlotte is than Flair himself. Flair is crushed, again.

We look at Keith Lee becoming #1 contender.

Riddle comes up to Lee to give him a bit of a pep talk. Lee thanks him but doesn’t seem to want to talk.

Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Orton pokes him in the eye to start and takes it to the floor. That lets him drop Hardy onto the announcers’ table a few times before going after the arm back inside. Hardy hits a clothesline but Orton knocks him out of the corner and hits the circle stomp. The chinlock goes on but Hardy neckbreakers his way to freedom. Orton rolls to the floor so Hardy hits a running clothesline off the apron to send us to a break.

Back with Orton grabbing the chinlock again but this time he puts his finger in Hardy’s ear gauges to pull rather hard. With that let go, Orton drops the knee for two instead. We hit another chinlock before Orton just opts to hammer Hardy down again. Hardy fights up and this time hits a basement dropkick for his own two. There’s the Whisper in the Wind for the same and Orton is sent to the floor for a dropkick through the ropes. The hanging DDT catches Hardy on the way back in though and the RKO finishes Hardy at 12:12.

Rating: C. I’m going to have to downgrade this one a bit as the ear gauge thing was hard to watch. Orton beating Hardy is going to keep him strong and it’s not like Hardy is going to lose anything by taking a fall here. Hopefully there is something else from Orton with the legends later though, because this wasn’t much in the way of being more evil and violent.

Lucha House Party runs into Melina, who does their dance.

Lucha House Party vs. Hurt Business

Non-title and MVP is on commentary. Metalik headscissors Benjamin down to start but the rope walk dropkick is countered into a nice powerbomb. Dorado comes in with a middle rope hurricane on Alexander, who snaps off a Michinoku Driver. The Golden Rewind sends Alexander bailing to the corner for the tag to Benjamin and the pace picks up. A jumping knee sends Metalik tot he floor but Shelton and Cedric get in a bit of an argument over the tags. That’s enough to let Dorado crucifix Shelton for the pin at 2:52 (same exact way the other Tag Team Champions lost an hour ago).

Post match MVP yells at them to get on the same page. THEY HAVE BEEN CHAMPIONS FOR TWO WEEKS!

Nikki Cross is talking to Torrie Wilson when Angel Garza comes up to offer Torrie a rose. Torrie says she’s talking to Nikki but sends Garza down the hall to meet Kylie Jenner and Cardi B. It’s actually the Boogeyman, who scares Garza into a rollup to give R-Truth the 24/7 Title back. Truth leaves with the ladies and Ron Simmons comes up for the catchphrase.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Keith Lee

Lee is challenging and walks through the legends (including Booker T. and Jeff Jarrett) to get here. They shove each other around to start and run the ropes, with Lee not quite getting high enough on a leapfrog. He’s fast enough to drop down as Drew comes back though (that was a smooth save) and then forearm him out to the floor. Lee follows him out and hits the big Pounce to knock Drew over the barricade.

Back from a break with Lee driving in elbows and shoulders in the corner to keep Drew in trouble. Lee slams him down to stay on the bad ribs for two and McIntyre’s belly to belly attempts are blocked. McIntyre finally sends him into the corner though and NOW the belly to belly connects (for some Legends applause). A neckbreaker sets up McIntyre’s nip up but Lee plants him with a spinebuster.

They head outside again with Drew managing a powerbomb off the apron, with Lee’s back hitting the edge of the announcers’ table as he crashes through to take us to a break. Back with the two of them going up top, with Lee hitting a freaking Spanish Fly for two, because he can just do something like that. The Spirit Bomb is countered though and the Claymore retains the title at 21:13.

Rating: B+. This was the kind of hoss/how are they doing that kind of match and if you ignore the times where they nearly killed/horribly injured each other, it was a heck of a fight. I’m a bit surprised by the ending, but Lee got a lot out of this and looked like a threat. If they can follow up on that, it might go somewhere for him, but that hasn’t quite been the case yet. Heck of a match here though.

Post match McIntyre grabs the mic but here’s Goldberg to interrupt. Goldberg says McIntyre has a lot of things going for him, except for respect. McIntyre doesn’t respect those legends so that’s where Goldberg steps in. He isn’t demanding anything like a match at the Royal Rumble, but Drew seems interested.

They go head to head and Goldberg shoves him down….as we cut to Straight Up Steve Austin because we’re out of time. On a show that is THREE HOURS LONG, they manage to go over (for the second time in three weeks). That takes talent. Not as much talent as making up a character trait for McIntyre, but still talent.

This was horribly dumb, as McIntyre spent the entire summer defending the legends from Orton but now, because they need a story for the Rumble, he disrespects them? That’s not how writing a story works, but I don’t think WWE quite understands it that way. I did see a theory that said it was the script they had for Goldberg confronting Reigns and just changed the opponents. It’s just a fan theory but….would you put it past them?

Overall Rating: C-. The main event bailed out a lot of this show, but the ending segment brought it right back down. This was another one of those shows where the legends are just there for the sake of saying hi for two seconds and then it’s back to everything else, making them feel really out of place. If that’s the case, why bring them in? Was anyone going to miss Tatanka, IRS (who sure got over his son being burned alive a few weeks ago in a hurry) or Alicia Fox? Or about half a dozen other “legends?” Just say Hogan and Flair and a few others are back (and don’t have at least eight names advertised not show up).

Other than that, this was a pretty bad show otherwise, as it had four straight matches end with some kind of a rollup, with two of those having the same finish. The Rumble is looking all over the place at this point and Goldberg vs. McIntyre isn’t exactly a thrilling addition. Next week is going to get smoked by the college football title game, but after a show like this, how many people were going to be watching anyway? The show was much more lame than terrible, but that’s probably a lot worse in this case.

Results

New Day b. Miz/John Morrison – Shining Wizard to Morrison

AJ Styles b. Elias – Styles Clash

Lacey Evans/Peyton Royce b. Charlotte/Asuka – Crucifix to Charlotte

Riddle b. Bobby Lashley – Rollup

Dana Brooke b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup

Lucha House Party b. Hurt Business – Crucifix to Benjamin

Randy Orton b. Jeff Hardy – RKO

Drew McIntyre b. Keith Lee – Claymore

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6