NXT
Date: January 27, 2021
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Wade Barrett, Vic Joseph, Beth Phoenix

It’s still tournament time around here as the women’s Dusty Classic continues the first round but the men’s version heads on to the quarterfinals. I’m still not sure if this is the best idea in the world as these tournaments are dominating the show, but maybe the action is going to be enough to carry the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Men’s Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic Quarterfinals: MSK vs. Killian Dain/Drake Maverick

Maverick and Lee start things off and go to the mat in a hurry. Maverick’s headlock is driven against the ropes so Lee says bring it. Dain wants in but Maverick isn’t ready yet, instead taking Lee to the mat with a front facelock. That’s broken up as well as Maverick is taken into the corner for a running Bronco Buster from Carter. Maverick slips away and brings in Dain to clean house, including throwing Maverick at Nash for a knockdown (always effective).

The running big boot in the corner rocks Carter but a shot to the knee put Dain down for a second. Lee comes back in and is tossed outside with ease to send us to a break. Back with Dain hitting Lee in the face again and crushing him with a backsplash. That’s enough to give Maverick two but the chinlock is countered for the hot tag to Carter. A penalty kick rocks Maverick and a dropkick puts Dain on the floor. The push moonsault connects for two with Dain making a save. Dain is sent outside again though and it’s a Hart Attack with a Blockbuster instead of a clothesline to finish Maverick at 11:06.

Rating: C+. This was more like it for both teams, as Dain and Maverick are the kind of a team with just enough credibility to mean something and MSK feel primed for a serious run in the tournament. They made enough sense here too, with Dain being the wrecking ball that had to be dealt with and then Maverick being a much easier target. Good enough match and MSK continues to make me smile.

Danny Burch and Oney Lorcan are fired up for tonight. Pete Dunne looks like he’s ordering dinner.

Raquel Gonzalez/Dakota Kai and Jessi Kamea/Aliyah are ready to win the Dusty Classic.

Curt Stallion looks out the window and sees shooting stars. One day he followed it and knew what he was ready to do. Now he wants to have a rocket strapped to his back in the form of the Cruiserweight Title.

Women’s Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic First Round: Jessi Kamea/Aliyah vs. Dakota Kai/Raquel Gonzalez

Kamea and Aliyah have Robert Stone in their corner. Gonzalez and Aliyah start things off with Aliyah not being able to shove her around. Instead Gonzales swings her around in a lockup so it’s off to Kamea, who has to avoid an elbow. A dropkick sends Gonzalez into the corner for a running forearm but she sends Kamea into Kai’s elbow. Aliyah comes in for some double teaming and a running flipping hair faceplant puts Kai down.

Kai is sent outside but manages to pump kick Aliyah down hard and gets two back inside. Back in and Gonzalez hits a swinging powerslam on Aliyah, setting up Kai’s running kick to the face in the corner. Kai gets two off a double stomp but Aliyah manages a clothesline to bring in Kamea. That’s fine with Gonzalez, who plants her with the chokeslam for the pin at 5:58.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t quite as interesting as the ending wasn’t in doubt and the match felt a good bit longer than just under six minutes. That being said, the women’s tournament is only three rounds long so it is a good thing to see the winners look dominant. Not the worst match, but it needed more wacky Robert Stone shenanigans to really push it over the edge.

The Way is sure they’ll win the Women’s Dusty Classic but Johnny Gargano isn’t going to answer anything about Kushida. Austin Theory says it’s kind of like the curse but Gargano orders him to say no more words. Kushida does not get a title shot.

Scarlett uses Tarot cards to display that destruction is coming.

Tegan Nox has been training with Brie Larson. Video tomorrow.

Tyler Rust vs. Dante Rios

Malcolm Bivens is at ringside and he has an inset promo, promising that Rust will win. Rust takes him down with ease to start and then nails a hard right hand. A stomp onto the head keeps Rios down and it’s time to crank on the arm. Some chops rock Rust and a backside gives Rios two. What looks to be a tornado DDT winds up as a guillotine choke but Rust powers out. A big boot into a flipping neckbreaker sets up a modified Rings of Saturn (When did that become the most popular move in the world?) to make Rios tap at 3:23.

Rating: D+. Rust still looks good but they are playing into the idea that he might not be as polished as Bivens thinks he is. At least he won here, but it took a little longer than expected. It’s something different though, and that’s often a nice thing to see, especially when so many newcomers have the dominant run before their first story.

Bivens and Rust get a post match photo.

The Grizzled Young Veterans and Kushida/Leon Ruff are ready to win the Dusty Classic.

Finn Balor and Kyle O’Reilly are ready, don’t trust each other, and will see each other out there.

Men’s Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic Quarterfinals: Leon Ruff/Kushida vs. Grizzled Young Veterans

Before the match, Zack Gibson promises to win because Ruff and Kushida have been a team for about five minutes. Kushida takes Gibson to the mat without much trouble but Drake comes in for a spinning kick to the face. It’s off to Ruff for a dropkick but Kushida is already back in for stereo basement dropkicks and two on Drake. We hit the quickly broken armbar and Ruff snaps off a top rope hurricanrana to put Drake down again. Drake forearms his way to freedom but Kushida saves Ruff from a double suplex. A middle rope cutter gets two on Gibson and we take a break.

Back with Ruff grabbing a sunset flip for two on Drake, who pops back up with a heck of a clothesline. Ruff is sent outside for a slingshot forearm/backbreaker combination to put him in even more trouble. A neckbreaker gets Ruff out of trouble back inside and the hot tag brings in Kushida to start cleaning house. The cartwheel into the basement dropkick rocks Drake again and there’s a running dropkick in the corner. Gibson comes back in and escapes an Octopus, setting up a Doomsday Device of all things for two on Kushida.

The double handspring elbow drops the Veterans though and the hot tag brings in Ruff for the second house cleaning. A suicide dive hits Drake and a top rope flip dive hits Gibson. Back in and a running clothesline puts Gibson down again but Ruff misses the Swanton. Drake gets caught not paying attention on the apron and it’s the Ticket to Mayhem to finish Ruff at 13:15.

Rating: B-. I could watch the Veterans at least three days a week and the two of them could be favorites in the tournament. Granted that could be the case for most of the remaining teams and that’s a good sign for the whole thing. This worked out about as expected and Kushida getting the North American Title shot at Takeover (as he is almost a lock to do) is a lot more important than this team.

Post match here’s the Way to beat down Kushida and Ruff. Johnny Gargano insists that Kushida will never get a shot but here’s Dexter Lumis to scare them off. Sweet goodness why can’t this guy just fall in a hole somewhere?

Curt Stallion has been attacked by Legado del Fantasma.

Post break, the Cruiserweight Title match is officially canceled for tonight. If this was supposed to be a surprise, maybe they shouldn’t have pulled the match from the show’s official preview.

Legado del Fantasma doesn’t know what’s going on but ANGRY William Regal comes in and says the title match is on for next week, with promises of consequences if anything else happens to Stallion. Regal leaves and the trio is freaked out by a playing card, though they insist there is nothing to worry about. I wonder if that’s an ace. Like, say, an Irish ace.

Here’s Toni Storm to say she wins whatever she wants. She wanted to be the first ever person to win the Women’s Dusty Cup but Io Shirai took that away from her. Now she wants to hurt and ruin Shirai, but more than anything else, she wants to be the NXT Women’s Champion.

Cue Io Shirai to say she’ll fight Toni anytime because she doesn’t like her. The fight is on with Storm being sent outside but here’s Mercedes Martinez to jump Shirai from behind. Martinez holds up the title but Storm says it’s hers. Shirai is back in to jump them both but Storm pulls her off the top. A pair of hip attacks in the corner leave Shirai laying and Storm rubs the title.

Isaiah Scott doesn’t like being accused of messing with Bronson Reed and suggests you could the fingers pointing at you when you point your finger at someone.

Imperium video, which heavily suggests the return of Walter. It’s about time.

The Undisputed Era aren’t worried about facing Tommaso Ciampa and Timothy Thatcher because they’re tougher, more experienced and better. Well that was to the point.

Bronson Reed vs. Isaiah Scott

Reed throws him outside to start but Scott sticks the landing, only to get sent face first into the apron. A crossbody on the floor crushes Scott and we take a break. Back with Scott working on an armbar and then raking Reed’s face a bit. Reed isn’t having that and runs him over again, setting up a backsplash for two.

Scott gets in another shot to the shoulder but Reed goes to the middle rope anyway. An enziguri connects though and Scott hits a 450 for two. Scott tells him not to get in his business and hits Reed in the face, which seems to be a rather bad move. Reed headbutts him and adds a hard clothesline, setting up the Tsunami for the pin at 9:21.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of thing that I can go for: taking two young (or at least new) stars and giving them a story. Reed is looking more and more like a breakout star every week and Scott….well at least he can still talk rather effectively. Pushing one of them is a good idea though and if Reed is their guy, so be it.

Scott really does not look pleased.

Tommaso Ciampa talks about how some fights change people and respect can grow. Timothy Thatcher joins him to say pretty much the same thing. Ciampa promises a war with Undisputed Era next week.

Kyle O’Reilly/Finn Balor vs. Oney Lorcan/Danny Burke

Non-title, which I didn’t know until this show started. Balor armdrags Lorcan into an armbar to start and it’s quickly off to O’Reilly vs. Burch. O’Reilly grabs an armbar of his own but Burch goes to the recently injured jaw to break up a tag attempt. Lorcan and Burch get to work on the arm for a change, followed by Burch’s headlock on the mat. That’s reversed into a wristlock, which is enough for O’Reilly to get back over to Balor.

O’Reilly is back in less than five seconds later as Balor and O’Reilly start the rapid fire tags and arm cranking. They stop to glare at each other though and we take a break. Back with Balor getting a tag to clean house in a hurry, including a bunch of stomping on Lorcan. A trip takes Balor down though and Lorcan gets in some stomping of his own.

The chinlock goes on to keep Balor down and a double atomic drop into a Russian legsweep gets two. Lorcan starts yelling at Balor, which rarely seems like a good idea, and is quickly followed by Balor nailing a Pele kick. The Sling Blade is enough for the hot tag to O’Reilly as house is cleaned in a hurry. Burch gets a boot up in the corner and tries a middle rope but dives into a kneebar to give O’Reilly and Balor the win at 11:56.

Rating: B-. They were telling a nice story here, though I’m hoping we get at least a token Tag Team Title match out of this. I’m not sure we will, but it would serve well as a TV main event. At least they had a good match in the non-title version, but I would hope that NXT isn’t he kind of place that just lets the champs lose.

Post match O’Reilly and Balor seem cool but Pete Dunne pops up. Burch and Lorcan send O’Reilly into the barricade and Dunne breaks Balor’s fingers as the Undisputed Era come to the ring for the save, albeit rather slowly. The big staredown ends the show, though Balor drops to the floor with the Era standing in the ring. We could use a fourth for the villains here as that’s a heck of an eight man tag.

Overall Rating: B-. The tournament matches are good but I’m rather relieved that they are wrapping things up sooner rather than later. There are too many tournament things going on at once here and it’s kind of dragging things down. It’s the majority of things going with the show and while the wrestling is good, I could go for something else. This was another good week, but I’m losing patience with all of the tournament stuff.

Results

MSK b. Killian Dain/Drake Maverick – Blockbuster/spinebuster combination to Maverick

Dakota Kai/Raquel Gonzalez b. Jessi Kamea/Aliyah – Chokeslam to Kamea

Tyler Rust b. Dante Rios – Rings of Saturn

Grizzled Young Veterans b. Leon Ruff/Kushida – Ticket to Mayhem to Ruff

Bronson Reed b. Isaiah Scott – Tsunami

Kyle O’Reilly/Finn Balor b. Oney Lorcan/Danny Burch – Kneebar to Burch

 

 

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Dynamite
Date: January 27, 2021
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

We’re a week away from Beach Break and for the first time in a long time, we are coming off of a somewhat weak show last time around. That being said, Dynamite has an incredible track record so I have all the confidence in the world of them being able to set up something better this time around. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Eddie Kingston vs. Lance Archer

Jake Roberts is here with Archer…..who asks him to stay in the back. JR says this could be bowling shoe ugly as Kingston chops away, only to be powered into the corner. A bite works a bit better on Archer and Kingston chops away to limited avail. Archer shows him how to really chop so Kingston chops him even harder. A middle rope shoulder puts Archer on a knee….where he smiles at the down Kingston. Oh this is going to hurt.

Archer is back up with a chokeslam over the top rope and down on the apron (that was good for a heck of a cringe as Kingston landed on his hip). Archer follows him outside and sends Kingston face first into the camera (that’s a new one). Back in and Archer stares into the camera (he has a theme here) but has to block the spinning backfist.

Kingston dropkicks the knee out for two but Archer is right back with a short arm clothesline (ala Jake Roberts of course). The Blackout is escaped so Archer settles for a chokeslam instead. Archer walks the rope into the moonsault….and here are Butcher and the Blade, having attacked Roberts. The distraction lets Bunny slip Kingston some brass knuckles. The spinning backfist knocks Archer cold for the pin at 8:54.

Rating: C+. Like JR said, this wasn’t supposed to be a technical masterpiece. This was designed to be all about two brawlers beating the fire out of each other and that’s what they did here, with Kingston managing to get a big win for a change. I liked this one a good bit because it’s exactly what it should have been, with the short arm clothesline making me smile.

Post match Butcher and Blade take Archer out again before holding him up for the spinning backfist.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Jon Moxley is a little confused by Kenny Omega and the Good Brothers and the Young Bucks teaming up because there are a lot of Tag Team Champions. Then there are the Lucha Bros and the Death Triangle. That’s complicated for Moxley, because he likes his beer cold, his coffee hot and his sex in the morning. He loves a good six man tag though because this is fun and that’s what they’re doing next week.

Sting talks about how Team Taz has thrown out a bunch of false accusations about himself and Darby Allin (next to him). It’s true that Allin is a hoodlum, with Allin saying that when you’re on the streets, it’s all about survival. He sends his skateboard through a window and says he’s just like Sting. That makes Sting break a window with his baseball bat and say he is a hoodlum. They’re ready for the street fight at Revolution. They walk off, with Allin leaving his TNT Title.

Chris Jericho/MJF vs. Varsity Blonds

It says MJF in the chiron so that’s enough of an official change for me. After what seems like an extended Judas from the crowd, we’re ready to go…but MJF has a mic. MJF and Griff Garrison start things off, with MJF wanting to hear how great he is. Garrison hammers him down and pulls him back from the apron, with MJF panicking a bit. MJF is so mad that he grabs a chair but the rest of the Inner Circle holds him back.

It’s off to Jericho, who is taken down and caught with Brian Pillman’s Jr.’s running legdrop to give Garrison two. A cheap shot from the apron puts Garrison down though and we take a break, with Tony screaming at us that the match could end during the break (eh he’s no JR ripping on picture in picture for whatever reason). Back with Garrison getting the hot tag to clean house, including a double spear for two on MJF (Pillman looks near tears for some reason).

The tears are wiped away enough to hit a missile dropkick on Jericho, followed by a superkick for two. Jericho misses a charge and gets sent to the floor but comes right back in with the Judas Effect to Pillman. The Lionsault (with Jericho having the biggest grin, because he likes proving people wrong from last week) finishes at 8:02.

Rating: C+. Pillman and Garrison have gotten built up some momentum over the last few months so it’s fine enough to have them hang in there with Jericho and MJF. It’s good to see the Inner Circle get a win like this to start them on the right foot, and Jericho’s grin off the Lionsault is perfectly him. If nothing else, it’s nice to see that last week was just a slip (it happens to everyone) and he didn’t break his neck.

Pac isn’t impressed with Kenny Omega and his friends walking around like they own the place. Next week, Pac and Rey Fenix are going to show Omega what it means to be brutal. He sold the heck out of this.

Earlier tonight, Shaquille O’Neal called out Cody Rhodes for a match at some point in the future.

Tony Schiavone brings out Cody Rhodes and Arn Anderson for a chat. Cody loves the idea of himself and Brandi against Shaq and Jade Cargill….but Brandi is having a baby. Therefore he is going to defer to Arn, who has chewed him out for a variety of things. For now though, Arn gets to make the decision. Anderson says he is going to contradict himself here and says that Cody has the big head.

Arn brings up the date of June 29, 1985, which doesn’t have any meaning for Cody. On that date, Arn watched Dusty Rhodes face Tully Blanchard in Los Angeles for thirty minutes and then fly across the country to see Cody be born. If Cody chooses to jump onto the Revolution card on March 7, he needs to do it with no regrets. There has been a long time between June 29, 1985 and Revolution.

Shaq dominated his sport for nineteen years and Jade Cargill seems like she dominates any room she is in. In the last two weeks, Arn has seen something and has an idea. Cue Red Velvet, with Arn saying she has the same fire as Cody. Velvet talks about Cargill running her mouth and being full of herself, but everyone knows Cody won’t lay a hand on Jade. Red Velvet will though, and she will stir Cargill’s b**** a** up. Arn: “That’s what I was talking about!”

Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford are excited to be married and invite us to the Beach Break wedding. Miro will be there as the best man and he’s bringing Charles the butler with him.

Hangman Page vs. Ryan Nemeth

Page is accompanied by crippling emotional baggage and Nemeth (complete with trunks that say “Hunk”) is Dolph Ziggler’s brother. An exchange of shoulders goes badly for Nemeth and Page kicks him in the face. Nemeth gets in a few chops in the corner and Page just doesn’t look happy. A shot to the face puts Nemeth down in the corner for the stomping. Page sends him outside for the slingshot dive but gets dropkicked back down inside.

Cue Matt Hardy to watch as Nemeth grabs a handstand hammerlock. Back up and Page runs him over, setting up a spinebuster, much to Hardy’s approval. A Dolph Ziggler jumping DDT gets two on Page but he blasts Nemeth with a discus forearm. There’s a hard lariat and the Buckshot Lariat finishes Nemeth at 5:38.

Rating: C. As usual, an unknown got in a lot of offense on an established star but Nemeth might have a little something with the Hunk/movie star good looks thing (and the family connection helps as well). Page getting a win is a good thing, but hopefully he doesn’t get pulled into whatever Hardy’s latest thing is.

Post match Hardy and Tony Schiavone get in the ring, with Hardy saying Page looks lost. They were on the same team in Stadium Stampede and Page is a good person who deserves to be happy. Page has been dressing by himself in a room next to catering. He is welcome to dress in Hardy’s big dressing room, no strings attached. Tony: “I think you should take him up on that.”

Jungle Boy and Dax Harwood both want to prove they are the better man, especially with everyone else neutralized at ringside.

Dax Harwood vs. Jungle Boy

Luchasaurus is here and handcuffed to Tully Blanchard and Cash Wheeler (Marko Stunt is sent to the back because…..well because he’s Marko Stunt). Harwood grabs a headlock to start but gets knocked down for his efforts. Another headlock works a bit better as Boy is taken to the mat and then knocked down again for good measure. They run the ropes until Boy scores with a dropkick and goes for the legs. That’s broken up and Harwood goes outside, with Luchasaurus not allowing Tully to get in much coaching.

Back in and Harwood uppercuts him into the corner but Boy chops his way to freedom. A kick to the ribs cuts him off but Harwood misses a charge into the post so Boy grabs an armbar. That doesn’t last long either as Harwood punches him in the face for a breather. They head outside with Harwood sending him into the barricade and sending us to a break. Back with Boy fighting out of a chinlock and kicking Harwood in the face.

A top rope belly to back superplex brings Luchasaurus to his feet and gives Harwood two but it injures his shoulder in the process. Boy pops back up and hammers away, only to get his head clotheslined off. A hard slingshot powerbomb gives Harwood two, with Tully being rather pleased.

Boy is back up with some rolling German suplexes until Harwood elbows him hard in the face. That earns Harwood a rebound lariat but Harwood head fakes him into a DDT (ala Arn Anderson) for two. They trade rollups with trunks for two each, followed by victory rolls for the same. Boy’s crucifix gets two, as does Harwood’s counter. Boy pulls him into the Snare Trap (Regal Stretch) and Harwood taps clean at 14:54.

Rating: B+. I don’t remember the last time I got sucked into a match outside of NXT so this was a heck of a treat as they had a great wrestling match. This was Boy’s speed and athleticism against Harwood’s old school style and they meshed so well. This is the kind of thing that I wanted to see out of FTR and it’s great to see Boy hanging in there every step of the way. Awesome match here that blew away some fairly high expectations I had coming in.

Post match, Tully throws powder at Luchasaurus and gets out of the handcuffs. A slingshot suplex puts Boy down and a spike double piledriver (featuring Air Tully) knocks Luchasaurus silly. Luchasaurus is handcuffed to the ropes and FTR cuts the horns off of his mask to make it personal. They go to cut Boy’s hair but Marko Stunt, SCU and Top Flight make the save.

Earlier tonight, Team Taz was outside where Taz talked about being ready to destroy Sting and Darby Allin at Revolution. Hold on though as they find a random merchandise table and beat the workers up for having too much Sting and Darby gear. Taz promises more of this for the two of them.

Britt Baker vs. Shanna

Rebel is here with Baker and Shanna is making her return. Baker works on the wristlock to start but gets reverses into the same thing from Shanna. That’s broken up with Shanna being taken into the corner for a hard forearm. That’s broken up though as Shanna goes for the wristlock, followed by an enziguri. The running dropkick against the ropes misses though as Rebel pulls Baker away, meaning Baker can get in a shot from behind.

The Sling Blade on the floor drops Shanna again and we take a break. Back with Shanna hitting a clothesline for two, followed by Baker’s neckbreaker for two. A Stunner drops Baker again and now the running dropkick against the ropes connects. Rebel realizes trouble is afoot though and offers a distraction so Baker can grab the Lockjaw for the pin at 8:33.

Rating: C+. I know Baker has been doing the same thing for a good while, but that’s a good thing in this case. She’s rather entertaining with what she does and it continues to set up the showdown with Thunder Rosa. Baker is probably the most defined character in all of the division and she plays it to near perfection. Stick with what works instead of changing everything at once, as you can often stick with a good idea instead of trying unnecessary changes.

Post match the beatdown stays on but here’s Thunder Rosa for the save.

MJF comes in to see Sammy Guevara and insists that he didn’t send Wardlow in last week. Sammy doesn’t buy it because he knows what MJF is doing and doesn’t buy his lies. MJF asks if Sammy wants to play it this way but Sammy isn’t playing. Man alive Sammy is a breakout star waiting to happen.

Beach Break rundown.

More on what’s coming later on, with Riho making her return in the #1 contenders tournament at a date to be announced.

The Good Brothers and the Young Bucks are happy with the Bullet Club reunion and are ready to do their thing tonight. Then next week they’re going to do their favorite thing: BEAT UP JON MOXLEY! The Bucks are down with that but don’t want Don Callis involved. Kenny Omega comes in and says they need to talk but here’s Callis, who has a taped up face thanks to the Bucks. Omega has to hold them apart.

Dark Order vs. Young Bucks/Good Brothers

It’s Evil Uno/Stu Grayson/Alex Reynolds/John Silver for the Order. Uno shoulders Anderson to start and gets two off an atomic drop of all things. It’s time to start in on the wristlock and Silver comes in for a bald showdown. Silver wants Gallows and the request is granted after a bit of discussion. Somehow Silver manages to kick him down to a knee but a cheap shot from the apron lets Gallows him him in the face. Matt comes in and gets forearmed by Reynolds but the Bucks start firing off the dropkicks.

Everything breaks down and it’s a dropkick/neckbreaker/belly to back suplex combination to Reynolds. The club poses (JR: “That’s another t-shirt.”) and Anderson trips Reynolds down. JR wants an ejection but Uno trips Matt as well, allowing the hot tag to Grayson. The pace picks way up and it’s a springboard dropkick to put Gallows on the floor. A frog splash gets two on Anderson and we take a break. Back with Grayson hitting a Pele on Nick and diving over for the hot tag to Silver.

That means house can be cleaned again as Silver does the fired up comeback rather well. Silver runs over the club on the floor as well, setting up a brainbuster for two on Nick back inside. Matt comes in and hits the double northern lights suplex on Silver and Reynolds. There’s the double clothesline to take them down as well but Reynolds hits a Stunner into the German suplex on Matt.

The Fatality connects with Anderson having to make the save as everything breaks down again. Nick hits the double springboard flip dive onto most of everyone on the floor and the club hits a bunch of apron powerbombs at the same time. Grayson is left alone in the ring and it’s a quadruple low superkick with Uno making the save. The Magic Killer knocks Uno to the floor and it’s the Meltzer Driver to finish Grayson at 11:45.

Rating: B. This was an entertaining match with the Dark Order hanging in there long enough. I know it has been said but Silver is one of those guys with all of the charisma he could need to be a star. I’m fine with the club winning here as they need to show they can work together, even if a Bucks vs. Brothers match seems like at Revolution. Good main event here though, with the Dark Order working as faces (or close enough to them at least).

Post match the Bucks talk about the Beach Break battle royal with the winners getting a Tag Team Title shot at Revolution. They are in the match as well and if they win, it is champions’ choice for the title shot. The Bucks and the Brothers hit the Too Sweet but here’s Rey Fenix to go after them to avenge Pentagon. This goes as well as you would expect, even though he manages to knock the Bucks to the floor. Cue Jon Moxley to help with the fight and Fenix hits a heck of a dive, even landing on the barricade in the process. Kenny Omega tries to run in with the boot but walks into the Paradigm Shift to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Now that was more like it with a few rather good to great matches carrying the show. There was nothing bad on the show and I’m curious to see where Beach Break goes, even if there isn’t a huge main event. This week’s show was about building for the future but still had some solid stuff of its own. I liked this show a good bit more than last week and hopefully they can do it again at next week’s big show.

Results

Eddie Kingston b. Lance Archer – Spinning backfist with brass knuckles

Chris Jericho/MJF b. Varsity Blonds – Lionsault to Pillman

Hangman Page b. Ryan Nemeth – Buckshot lariat

Jungle Boy b. Dax Harwood – Snare Trap

Britt Baker b. Shanna – Lockjaw

Young Bucks/Good Brothers b. Dark Order – Meltzer Driver to Grayson

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Royal Rumble 2017
Date: January 29, 2017
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 52,020
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

The aisle is crazy long and would require a cart to bring some of the wrestlers to the ring during the Rumble. There’s something cool about that, on both fronts actually.

Kickoff Show: Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Nikki and Natalya start things off with Natalya doing You Can’t See Me. That means a slap to the face and there are so few people being so quiet that you can hear what the women are saying. Bliss comes in and gets caught with a facebuster for two. It’s off to Naomi for half of a double dropkick with Nikki’s part not even coming close. Nikki and company hit a triple suplex to send them outside, followed by a dive from Naomi as we take a break.

Back with Becky clotheslining Natalya and hitting a running forearm in the corner. They head outside with Mickie getting in a cheap shot to drop Becky, allowing Natalya to snap a suplex to really take over. Back in and Becky gets driven into the corner again, allowing Bliss to choke a bit. Mickie adds a hard kick to the face as the announcers argue over whether or not cheating is smart.

A Michinoku Driver plants Becky but Natalya can’t get Suplex City (Her words. Well Lesnar’s words, though JR said it about thirteen years earlier.). Instead it’s a double clothesline so Naomi can come in and clean house. The still dumb looking dancing kicks drop Bliss as everything breaks down. A kick to the head sets up the split legged moonsault to give Naomi the pin on Bliss at 9:39.

Rating: C-. The lack of a crowd either in their seats or really interested in this one hurt it a lot but the work wasn’t terrible. The women’s division had gotten so much better by this point that you could trust them to go out and have a match like this, though the stories need to be stronger. I’m really having an issue caring about Nikki never getting to marry her dream husband and complete her fairy tale story but I’m not exactly the target audience.*

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and there are two referees due to some screwy finishes as of late. The crowd is MUCH better now, making the place look like there’s an actual audience for the show. Cesaro dropkicks Anderson at the bell for two and a gutwrench suplex gets the same less than thirty seconds in.

Gallows loads up a cheap shot from the apron but the second referee catches him, making the gimmick actually work. Sheamus grabs a Regal Roll into Cesaro’s jumping double stomp for two more but Anderson is back up with a kick to the face to take over. It’s off to Gallows, who is quickly kicked down so the champs can take him into the corner. This has been mostly one sided so far but Gallows gets in a backdrop for a breather. Not that the fans seem to care for the most part though.

A big boot knocks Sheamus off the apron and we take a break. Back (after the commercial has been cut from the Network) with Cesaro suplexing Gallows and rolling over to bring Sheamus back in. The ten forearms to the chest have Gallows in trouble and a top rope clothesline gets two. Super White Noise gets the same but Gallows shoves Sheamus away and makes the hot tag to Anderson.

The second referee won’t allow some cheating so Swiss Death gives Cesaro two. A 619 and a high crossbody give him the same but Anderson kicks him down again. Sheamus breaks up the Magic Killer and a referee eats a Brogue Kick. The second referee comes in to see Cesaro put Anderson in the Sharpshooter, only to have Gallows break it up with a kick to the face. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Magic Killer for Sheamus, followed by a rollup with tights to pin Cesaro at 10:28.

Rating: C+. Nice power fight here with both teams hitting each other rather hard. That’s all this needed to be, though I could go for adding a different style in there. Power vs. power isn’t going to work all that well in the long term but at least they had a good match here. These title changes didn’t really matter though as it was all going to change when the Hardys came back. No one knew that yet though and at least we had something good here.

Kickoff Show: Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Nia injured her a month or so ago and tonight is about revenge. Sasha doesn’t have her knee brace on as Nia drives her into the ropes and easily shoves off a headlock. A rope walk springboard goes just as badly as Banks can’t get anything going early on. Jax runs her over and we take an early break.

Back with Sasha trying a standing Bank Statement and having it broken up with ease. Jax grabs a Brock Lock and swings Banks around until a rope can be grabbed. Sasha finally avoids a charge to send Jax into the post, followed by the top rope double knees for two. Sasha comes up holding her knee though and the pop up Samoan drop puts her away at 5:13.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash and really only served to keep Nia around. Banks is going to be fine after a loss like this while Nia still doesn’t have the big defining win (which would still be the case a year later). There was no need for this to be on pay per view though and it could have easily been done on Raw. That’s never a good sign.

And now, a nearly four hour show. I know I say this a lot but I’m almost gassed just watching that Kickoff Show. There’s really no need to do it this way, especially when you have the horrible empty stadium for the first match.

Completely standard opening video, though they do play in the cool “Remember the Rumble” tagline to show off a lot of the famous clips. If there’s one thing WWE does well, it’s look back at their own history. The rest of the matches get some time as well with each one having something to remember as well.

Raw Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and still has never lost a singles match on pay per view. Bayley gets wrestled down to start as Charlotte grabs a front facelock. The fans seem split here despite giving Bayley a heck of a reaction on her entrance. Charlotte heads outside for no apparent reason, allowing Bayley to grab her by the hair and snap her over the middle rope (basically a Stunner) to take over. A headscissors gets two and it’s already time to hit the stalling.

Bayley makes the mistake of going outside and gets kicked into the steps as she doesn’t have much of an answer for Charlotte’s power game. Back in and Charlotte slams Bayley’s face into the mat a few times but makes sure to throw in a quick pose (that’s the Flair in her). We hit the chinlock with Charlotte’s hair falling over Bayley’s face, giving us a rather odd visual of Bayley as a blonde. A knee drop gets two on Bayley and Charlotte is getting annoyed at Bayley sticking around.

Yet another kickout off a neckbreaker makes the frustration even worse so Charlotte does her figure four necklock into the face plants on the mat. The flips to send Bayley back first into the mat make it even worse as Charlotte is completely dominant so far. Charlotte stops to mock Bayley though and a heck of a slap cuts the champ off. A battle of the chops goes to Charlotte (well duh) but Bayley bounces out of the corner with an armdrag. A springboard crossbody (with a few too many bounces) drops Charlotte again and a jumping spinning Downward Spiral (not bad) does it again.

The top rope elbow (which looked awesome on impact) gets a very close two and you can feel the crowd breathe on the kickout. Charlotte (who might be bleeding from the mouth) kicks the knee out though and the Figure Four goes on. The referee catches her grabbing the ropes though and both women are down. Charlotte is up first but her moonsault only grazes knees to give Bayley two. Bayley goes up but gets shoved off to the floor in a heap. As she gets back in, Natural Selection onto the apron retains the title at 13:01.

Rating: B-. Bayley was fighting here but came up short, which is exactly how her character needs to go. For some reason WWE didn’t quite get this and instead put the title on her two weeks later in a nothing Raw match, ignoring the idea of building her up as an underdog. Charlotte was her usual awesome self here and that makes for a fun match, though the future didn’t go the way it should have. At least the first match was solid though.

The shark cage is lowered. This might require an explanation.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Roman Reigns had come close to taking the title from Kevin Owens but Chris Jericho interfered to cost Reigns the match. Therefore it’s time for a rematch with Jericho in a one man cage (the shark cage) above the ring. Jericho is of course scared of heights so this should be fun. It would be a better idea if they hadn’t done it in NXT not too long before this.

Raw World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is defending and this is No DQ. Jericho takes his sweet time getting into the cage (as he should) and is still not in even when Reigns comes out. The Canadians try some double teaming and knock Reigns into the cage all, only to have Reigns fight them off (and the fans are really, REALLY not pleased) and send Jericho into the cage to get us going. The cage is raised like a sexy pinata (Jericho’s very accurate term for himself) and Owens jumps Reigns from behind.

They waste no time in fighting out to the floor and then into the crowd with Reigns hitting him in the ribs with a metal stand. Back to ringside with Owens being bounced off the German announcers’ table but coming back with a whip into the steps. Owens pulls six chairs from underneath the ring and sets up four at ringside, two by two. A monitor shot to the ribs sets up the Cannonball against the barricade and Owens continues to be over like free beer in a frat house.

With Reigns down, Owens sets up two more chairs on top of the four he already had. One more is placed on top but of course the powerbomb and suplex attempts don’t work to prevent a broken back. Back in and Reigns sends him shoulder first into the post before loading up a table. That’s enough to make the fans cheer Reigns (I’m as shocked as you are) but a Backstabber gives Owens two.

Another Cannonball, with Owens mocking Reigns’ spear pose, is countered into a powerbomb. The apron dropkick rocks the champ again as this has been better than I was expecting so far. They’re beating each other up quite well and it’s pretty entertaining, despite Jericho being a non-factor so far. They head outside with Reigns getting superkicked onto a table, setting up a frog splash from the top to the floor in a big crash.

That’s only good for two (well duh) so Owens dedicates a chair shot to Jericho and gets another near fall. A chair is wedged into the corner because wrestlers never learn a thing. Owens scores with a superkick and manages to send Reigns into the chair as I’m not sure what to think. It’s not like that’s never worked before but it’s about as rare as Jericho eating crab cakes and goat’s milk.

With that not working, Jericho tosses Owens some brass knuckles but Reigns blocks the Superman Punch. Roman’s Superman Punch gets two and a Samoan drop through the chair is good for the same. You would think being driven THROUGH A CHAIR would be a big time match but since this is modern wrestling, something that big is now just a regular move. It’s the price you pay for all the big spots and violence.

Roman puts another table in the corner before another Superman Punch gets two. A spear is countered into a Stunner of all things but Reigns kicks out again. We continue the Austin homage with a mudhole stomping and a Cannonball (not so much Austin) as Owens is getting frustrated. That makes him do something dumb, like trying a superplex through that pile of chairs.

Reigns breaks that up and Superman Punches Owens through the pile instead for a very loud crash. A powerbomb puts Reigns through the announcers’ table but here’s Braun Strowman to beat the heck out of Reigns. Roman is sent into the post, followed by the running powerslam through the table in the corner to retain Owens’ title at 23:27.

Rating: B+. This was better than I was expecting and while it feels like a similar ending to Randy Orton vs. John Cena from Royal Rumble 2015, it’s still a good way to keep the title on Owens for the time being. They had a very good power brawl and Owens retaining is the right move, especially with the feud with Strowman getting a big boost. Jericho was barely a factor and that’s a good thing given that they were about to split in the near future.

To really fill in time, we’re doing a countdown of the thirty greatest moments in Rumble history, starting with 30-16 (or 30-15 as Cole puts it). Well kind of as the list is actually 30 facts, which is kind of Rumble By The Numbers.

30. Bret Hart was the first entrant

29. 870 people have entered

28. 3 women have entered and each has eliminated at least one man

27. 23 people have won, meaning 98% of the entrants are losers

26. 4 Rumbles have been in Texas

25. California and Florida have held 5 Rumbles each

24. 507,102 fans have seen the Rumble

23. Rey Mysterio lasted longer than anyone ever at 1:02:12

22. Edge won the Rumble in 7:37

21. Santino Marella was eliminated in 1 second

20. The longest time in a single Rumble without winning is Bob Backlund with 1:01:10

19. HHH has spent the most time in the Rumble with 4:06:08.

18. 46 Hall of Famers have competed

17. 9 Hall of Famers have won

16. Mick Foley entered the Rumble 3 times in 1998

Raw boss Stephanie McMahon mocks Raw underling Mick for Strowman interfering when Smackdown bosses Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan come in. They roll the tumbler so Sami Zayn can come in and pick his number, which of course takes some time. Before Sami can open his ball, Dean Ambrose comes in searching for churros. He gets a number but is off to take a nap until he’s due in the Rumble. After going to a crowd shot of watching this in the arena (erg), Sami gets #8.

Austin Aries joins commentary for the Cruiserweight Title match.

We recap Rich Swann vs. Neville. Swann is the Cruiserweight Champion but Neville has declared himself the King of the Cruiserweights. That’s completely accurate and it’s time for Swann to take a heck of a beating and give up a title that doesn’t belong to him. This is about as obvious of an ending as you’re going to get. They throw in some history between the two with Neville mentoring Swann both in Japan and here in America. That’s better than nothing and more than I would expect from a match like this, even if Neville winning is pretty much guaranteed.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Rich Swann

Neville is challenging and stops himself from doing his usual entrance because the fans don’t deserve it. That’s a nice touch and makes him feel different instead of the same guy who just happens to be a villain now. Feeling out process to start until Swann flips over Neville and misses a dropkick.

Neville gets sent outside for a dive but is fine enough to drive Swann right into the corner. A missile dropkick sets up a jackknife cover for two and Neville stands on Swann’s head. Neville wants to know if this is it and gets crucifixed for two. Back up and Neville forearms the heck out of Swann for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. The comeback is enough to have Neville take him outside for some whips into the barricade.

Back in and Neville comes up the top, diving straight into a superkick to the jaw. That one looked awesome and both guys are down. Another kick to the jaw and a super hurricanrana sets up a Phoenix flip dive to the floor to put Neville in trouble. They head back inside with Swann hammering away before getting two off something like a Warrior splash.

Neville isn’t down enough that he can’t crotch Swann on top. He also can’t hit the superplex but settles for a hard superkick to stagger the champ. Rich’s spinning kick to the head gets two as Neville gets his foot on the ropes. Swann again takes too long to get up top, allowing Neville to superplex him into the Rings of Saturn for the tap to make Neville champion at 13:29.

Rating: B-. They were beating the heck out of each other in a better than average match. Instead of having Neville squash him in relatively short order, Swann got in some offense, only to eventually not be good enough to overcome the King of the Cruiserweights. This was entertaining, but Neville is going to need some better challengers.

We recap AJ Styles vs. John Cena. Styles defeated Cena twice in a row last year, including with one clean pinfall. Then Cena said he wanted to challenge the champion at the Rumble and since he’s John Cena and one title shy of tying Ric Flair’s record, the match was made.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and has the black shorts on here so you know it’s a big night. AJ scores with a kick to the leg so Cena clotheslines him to the apron. Cena gets in a few right hands but charges into a boot in the corner to let AJ take over. Back to back knee drops have Cena in trouble but AJ stops to yell at the crowd. A third knee, this time with a You Can’t See Me, misses and Cena is right back with a backdrop.

AJ sticks the landing on an AA though and there’s an enziguri to put Cena down again. There’s a hurricanrana and Cena doesn’t seem to know what to do with Styles. The running seated forearm gives AJ two more but Cena punches him in the face. The Shuffle is broken up though and AJ grabs a wheelbarrow facebuster to put Cena down again. AJ hits the Phenomenal Blitz, only to have Cena hit that hard running clothesline for a breather that he uses when he needs a breather.

Now the Shuffle connects but it’s way too early for the AA. AJ grabs a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb for two more and we get a bit of a pause. They’re doing a good job here of going with the slower pace to build things up here, which is exactly what they should be doing.

The Phenomenal Forearm misses and it’s an AA for two. Another hard running clothesline gives Cena two more but he charges into a Pele to the shoulder. Now the Forearm connects for two more as they’re even in the near falls off the finishers. AJ starts firing off the hard kicks to the chest and Cena doesn’t seem like he’s breathing very well. One too many kicks earns him an electric chair into a faceplant though and Cena is right back into it.

They slug it out with JBL describing AJ as blocking every punch with his face. Apparently that’s fine enough to reverse a right hand into the Calf Crusher but of course Cena reverses into the STF to a nice round of applause. At least they respect some wrestling abilities. Somehow AJ reverses that into an STF of his own but Cena powers to his feet. Instead of an AA though, it’s off to a Figure Four on the champ (because we must praise Flair, though it’s appropriate here).

AJ pulls himself up though and tries a cross armbreaker, which of course is countered into a powerbomb for two. Cena goes up top for the Fameasser but gets powerbombed out of the air. Now the Styles Clash is good for two as the fans are feeling the near falls (as they should with the match picking WAY up in a hurry). Code Red gives Cena two more, followed by AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker for the same.

Something like a swinging Big Ending (called a cutter by Mauro) gives Cena two more so it’s time for the big guns. Cena busts out the super AA…….for two. You can see the look of disbelief on Cena’s face and now the fans aren’t sure what to think. The Styles Clash gives AJ his own near fall but Cena counters the Phenomenal Forearm into back to back AA’s for the pin and the title at 24:01.

Rating: A. This took its time to build up and it’s one of the best matches of 2017. Cena using raw power to start but eventually learning what AJ was going to throw at him and adapting made for a great story. He couldn’t win with the mega power move either, eventually having to counter AJ to beat him. That builds on their previous matches and it’s a classic match as a result.

Cena celebrates. JBL: “Man that was good!” Yeah pretty much. Cena heads into the crowd and hands the title to a Make-A-Wish kid because he’s that awesome.

We look at Seth Rollins invading Takeover: San Antonio to call out HHH, who cost him his spot in the Rumble. HHH said Rollins needs to be careful what he wished for. Worry not though as STEPHANIE will be on Raw tomorrow night to deal with Rollins. I’d be terrified too.

Jerry Lawler comes out for commentary on the Rumble.

Back to the Rumble by the Numbers.

15. Only 16 of the 30 possible numbers have won

14. 7 winners are from 1-10

13. 4 have been from 11-20

12. 19 have been from 21-40

11. 27 is the lucky number

10. 1 and 2 have produced 4 winners

9. 1 and 2 have been the final two entrants twice (1995 and 1999)

8. Only one person has won from the same number twice (Batista at #28)

7. Kane has entered the most Royal Rumbles

6. Kane has the most career eliminations

5. Roman Reigns has the most eliminations in one match

4. The World Title has been on the line twice

3. Three men have been runner up twice (Cena, Big Show, HHH)

2. Five men have won twice (Cena, HHH, Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Batista)

1. Only Steve Austin has won three Rumbles

Royal Rumble

Two minutes intervals and it’s Big Cass in at #1, meaning Enzo Amore gets to do the full entrance. We’re just that lucky I guess but the fans are still eating it up at this point. Since everything is bigger in Texas, it would make sense for Big Cass to win here tonight. We hear about some of the bigger names but Cass is going to toss all of them out because Cass is like HBK in 1995. Chris Jericho is in at #2 as his bad luck in the Rumble draws continue (this is his third time as #2).

Cass tosses him down with a fall away slam but an early Empire Elbow misses. The Walls are broken up and it’s Kalisto in at #3 after only ninety seconds. A springboard dropkick staggers Cass and a regular one drops Jericho. Cass can’t powerslam Kalisto and it’s some kicks to cut Cass down again. Mojo Rawley is in at #4 as we’re not even three minutes and fifteen seconds in yet. Corey: “Smackdown Live’s resident blithering idiot.” Lawler: “That’s an insult to blithering idiots”.

Cass takes Rawley into the corner while the other two are down on the apron. Jericho breaks four hours in the Rumble to give him the all time record as Jack Gallagher is in at #5. The length of the aisle really becomes an issue here as Jack takes forever to get to the ring. Once there though he cleans house with the umbrella, including a low blow to a posing Jericho. One heck of a toss sends Kalisto to the mat and it’s Mark Henry in at #6.

Everyone is down when his music hits but Gallagher has enough time to get up and stomp on Jericho by the time he gets there. Gallagher’s headbutt just annoys Mark so he tosses Jack through the ropes (not an elimination). Jack does his Mary Poppins dive with the umbrella and is promptly eliminated. Braun Strowman is in at #7, taking twenty five seconds from the start of his music to get to the ring. Jericho hides on the floor (Jericho: “HE’S HUGE!”) as Strowman gets rid of Mojo, Cass, Kalisto and Henry, the latter after a battle of the giants.

Sami Zayn is in at #8 and is stupid enough to charge into the ring and slug away as fast as he can. Sami stops a charge with a boot but tries a suplex for some reason. Strowman misses a charge into the post but comes right back with a running splash in the corner as Big Show is #9 (to a VERY strong reaction, oddly enough).

We get the big, long walk to the ring where Sami is down in the corner and Jericho is still on the floor. Strowman clotheslines Show down without much effort but a chokeslam cuts him down. Jericho picks now to come back in and is promptly punched down, leaving the giants to lift each other up for failed slam attempts. Strowman manages to muscle Show out though and is the only one standing. The debuting Tye Dillinger is #10 (in the perfect (ten) entrance), giving us Jericho, Strowman, Zayn and Dillinger. Tye goes straight at Strowman with forearms and left hands as Sami gets up to help him slug away at the giant.

They get suplexed down without much effort though and it’s James Ellsworth in at #11. He and Carmella run to the ring (in a relationship that was never explained) but don’t get in, allowing Tye and Sami to pull Strowman to the apron. Dean Ambrose is in at #12 and tricks Ellsworth into charging in on his own where Strowman eliminates him in all of ten seconds. That’s better than I was expecting. Dean gets in but can’t do much with Strowman (well duh) but Tye and Sami get back up to help Dean out. That earns them all running clotheslines in the corner and it’s Baron Corbin in at #13.

That means four on one on Strowman, who shrugs them all away. Strowman dumps Tye but Sami grabs him by the beard for a breather. A Helluva Kick rocks Strowman and Corbin gets rid of the monster after a star making performance. Dean hits a quick Dirty Deeds on Corbin but doesn’t try to eliminate him. Dean never was the smartest guy in the world.

Kofi Kingston is in at #14 and the countdown is on to the cool save. Kofi gets knocked into the ropes and Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes into a clothesline on Dean. The Miz is in at #15 (thankfully with Maryse), giving us Jericho (STILL on the floor), Sami, Ambrose, Corbin and Miz at the moment.

A Skull Crushing Finale drops Dean but Miz doesn’t go for the elimination. Deep Six cuts Miz off as the crowd oddly dies for a bit. For no logical reason, Kofi climbs to the top of the post but gets knocked down onto his chest. He still manages to hang on though and scores with Trouble in Paradise on Corbin. Sheamus is in at #16 and it’s time for some powerslams. Miz backs away from Sheamus but gets caught in the ten forearms to the chest. Jericho gets back up and is promptly Brogue Kicked down.

Big E. is in at #17 and it’s a quick abdominal stretch on Miz, allowing for some spanking. If that’s what he’s into I guess. The ring is getting too full and Rusev (with a broken nose) makes it even worse at #18. Right hands have Dean in trouble but no one is seriously close to being eliminated.

Sheamus gets in a hard knee on Miz and it’s Cesaro in at #19. It’s an early Swing to Miz and a second to Sami. Jerry: “Use him as a weapon!” Ambrose and Kofi are swung as well, followed by Big E. and Corbin but Rusev saves Sheamus from the same fate for some reason. You might notice a lot of names being swung and that’s because there are WAY too many people in the ring.

Xavier Woods is in at #20, giving us Jericho, Zayn, Ambrose, Corbin, Kingston, Miz, Sheamus, Big E. Rusev, Cesaro and Woods. We’re two thirds of the way into the match and over half of the people are still in. New Day beats Sheamus up and Woods has to save Kofi from an elimination at Miz’s hands. A pair of boots rock Miz but he’s not going anywhere yet. Bray Wyatt, with the lights going out, is in at #21 and the Fireflies coming out during the match is a cool visual.

Miz gets the release Rock Bottom and house is cleaned until Woods stares Wyatt down in a call back to Woods being terrified of Bray. Woods is sent to the apron and Kofi is put there next to him. Big E. saves his buddies from Cesaro and Sheamus as Apollo Crews is in at #22. Crews’ standing moonsault hits Miz as this is looking like a regular battle royal rather than the Rumble. Big E. pulls Woods and Kofi back inside but Sheamus and Cesaro get rid of all three of them at once to let the ring breathe a bit. Sheamus tries to dump Cesaro but Jericho runs in to get rid of both of them. Well the ring is certainly emptier in a hurry.

Randy Orton (of the Wyatt Family because reasons) is in at #23 with a quick RKO to Corbin and Rusev. Sami goes up top for some reason and dives right into another RKO. Dolph Ziggler is in at #24 and superkicks abound. The fans are begging for Goldberg to come in and get rid of some of these people but have to settle for Luke Harper at #25. We have five spots left and Goldberg, Undertaker and Brock Lesnar still to go. Harper gets rid of Crews but stops for a staredown with Orton. Wyatt has to play peacekeeper until Harper clotheslines Bray down. Orton breaks up Sister Abigail on Bray with an RKO as the ring is too full again.

Brock Lesnar is in at #26 and now we can get rid of some people. Ziggler and Ambrose are tossed with ease and it’s Suplex/F5 City. Everyone is down and the fans want Goldberg at #27. Instead it’s Enzo Amore in at #27 and I’ll let you figure out what happens. Graves: “THIS MAY BE THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!” Brock throws some suplexes until Goldberg is in at #28 for the big showdown. A spear and a clothesline get rid of Lesnar in all of fifteen seconds, stunning both the crowd and commentary at once. Sami eats a Jackhammer and Orton/Wyatt take a double spear.

Goldberg is the only man standing and it’s Undertaker in at #29 to a ROAR. Thankfully he appears in the ring instead of doing the ridiculously long walk down the ramp. Cole: “THIS IS A MOMENT!” Well those are what matter more than anything else. Corbin and Rusev break up the showdown and are promptly eliminated. A spear takes Undertaker down but Goldberg turns his attention to eliminate Harper, allowing Undertaker to dump him. Undertaker chokeslams a few people and it’s Roman Reigns at #30 (imagine the booing) to give us Jericho, Sami, Miz, Wyatt, Orton, Undertaker and Reigns.

That means another staredown and Reigns wins the slugout. The fans are LIVID and call this BS until Undertaker stops the Superman Punch with a chokeslam. Undertaker dumps Miz and Zayn like they’re nothing but takes too long calling for a Tombstone, allowing Reigns to dump him. That earns Reigns a glare to set up the Wrestlemania main event.

Jericho is dead so Reigns tosses him without much effort, giving Jericho the most meaningless hour run in Rumble history. Reigns is left alone with Orton and Wyatt with the double teaming starting in short order. The hanging DDT plants Reigns but Superman Punches get Roman out of trouble. Wyatt is eliminated but it’s an RKO and a clothesline to send Orton to Wrestlemania at 1:02:08.

Rating: D. And that’s being pretty generous. There are tons of problems here, but we’ll start with all the midcarders who were around forever and did nothing. Here are some of the people who weren’t going to win but were in the match for at least twenty minutes each:

Sami Zayn (47:12)

Dean Ambrose (26:55)

Baron Corbin (32:39)

Miz (32:44)

Rusev (22:31)

Those five names combined for one elimination. That’s a crazy amount of time to basically do nothing. If they’re not going to be factors (and none of them were as they were almost all glorified cannon fodder), don’t leave them out there go clog up the ring. It doesn’t do Sami any good to be out there for forty five minutes and do nothing, just like it doesn’t help Miz to be there for half an hour so people can beat on him. Jericho was a potential winner and stayed in there over an hour (spending a lot of it on the floor) but what good is an hour stay if he’s tossed out like he’s nothing after a mere two eliminations?

That brings us to the second problem: the three big names. This match was built around Goldberg, Brock Lesnar and Undertaker (the three of them and Cena are dead center on the post) and they combined to get rid of TEN people (over a third of the eliminations) despite being in the match for less time combined than any of the five names mentioned above. None of them made the final four but they cleared the way for the grouping. That’s some really bad planning and a lack of drama, especially when it makes everyone left look life afterthoughts. Let one of them be there as a dragon for the winner to slay at the very least.

Throw in a lack of meaningful surprises (Reigns was the only name of value not announced in advance) and no nostalgia to be seen (but we needed Apollo Crews and Dolph Ziggler to combine for ten minutes in the ring and not get rid of anyone) and there was very little to care about for the biggest part of the Rumble. Strowman stuff was fun, but after him there was a FIFTEEN MINUTE stretch with no eliminations. This was a terribly planned out Rumble and managed to turn one of the most entertaining matches of the year into something incredibly boring.

Overall Rating: C+. It says a lot when the Royal Rumble is the only bad thing on the show. Other than that, the worst match is…..I guess the women’s match? This show was rather awesome but the Rumble itself was such a mess that it brings the rest of the show way down. This was a good show that cold have been great and I have no idea how they thought that was the right idea with the Rumble. That should usually be the most important thing on the show but it felt like something they threw together here, which really misses the point. Fix the Rumble and it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just good.

Ratings Comparison

Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Original: C

Redo: C-

Sheamus and Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B

Redo: B+

Rich Swann vs. Neville

Original: C+

Redo: B-

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A-

Redo: A

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C+

That Rumble rating is ridiculous. Most of the rest of the matches are in the same ballpark though and that’s a good thing.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/29/royal-rumble-2017-i-can-go-with-that/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2017
Date: January 29, 2017
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton Corey Graves, John Bradshaw Layfield, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

Pre-Show: Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch/Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Back with Natalya sending Becky into the barricade and taking her into the wrong corner to play some Ricky Morton. Natalya gets two off a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Nikki gets over for the hot tag to Naomi for some exciting yet still stupid looking offense. Everything breaks down and Naomi hits a split legged moonsault for the pin on Alexa at 9:39.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Karl comes back in and hits a running kick to the chest but has to backdrop his way out of the Neutralizer. Anderson gets in the spinebuster but Sheamus breaks up the Magic Killer. One referee takes the Brogue Kick by mistake so the second comes in to watch Anderson get Swung. Everything breaks down again and Anderson rolls Cesaro up with a handful of trunks for the pin at 10:28.

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

We recap the Raw World Title match. Roman Reigns has beaten champion Kevin Owens multiple times now but Chris Jericho constantly interferes to help retain the title. Therefore, Jericho will be locked in a shark cage above the ring despite the match being not DQ, which negates the point of the original stipulation in the first place.

Raw World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Reigns is challenging and anything goes. Jericho and Owens try to jump Reigns to start but Roman knocks Chris into the cage and has it raised into the air. The fight is taken straight into the crowd with Owens taking the worst of it. Back to ringside with the champ taking over by hitting Reigns with the top of the table.

The superkick is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two on Owens and the champ is in trouble. They head outside again with Reigns being put on the table for a frog splash off the top. A chair is wedged into the corner and Owens becomes the first heel in a LONG time to send someone into a chair he set up.

Enzo and Big Cass shill chicken.

The Rumble debuted in 1988

Bret Hart was the first entrant

870 superstars have entered

3 females have entered and all of them have eliminated one person

23 different winners

98% of the entrants have lost

4 Rumbles in Texas

California and Florida have hosted 5 Rumbles each

507,102 fans have appeared

Rey Mysterio lasted 1:02:12

Edge only took 7:36 to win

Santino Marella lasted 1 second

Bob Backlund lasted 1:01:10 for the longest run without winning

HHH has spent 4:06:08 over 9 Rumbles

46 Hall of Famers

9 Hall of Famers won

Foley appeared 3 times in 1998

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Rich Swann

Swann is defending but Neville hammers him down into the corner to start with the champ in early trouble. Rich grabs a quick crucifix for two but Neville facelocks him to take over again. An elbow to the head sets up a chinlock as the match slows down again. Neville finally lets go and sends Swann into the barricade as this is completely one sided so far.

New Day shills Vudu.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Cena is challenging and they stare each other down to start. AJ goes after the leg to start and takes Cena down for a kneedrop. Cena tries an early AA but Styles lands on his feet and grabs a hurricanrana. The sliding forearm gets two and a German suplex into a facebuster gets the same.

Jerry Lawler is doing commentary on the Rumble.

Rumble by the Numbers.

Only 16 of the 30 possible numbers have won

7 winners are from 1-10

4 have been from 11-20

19 have been from 21-40

27 is the lucky number

1 and 2 have produced 4 winners

2 people have won from #1

Only one person has won from the same number twice (Batista at #28)

Kane has entered the most Royal Rumbles and has the most eliminations

The title has been on the line twice

Four winners have been runners up

Six names have won twice

Steve Austin has won three times

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals. Big Cass is in at #1 and Enzo fills in some more time by singing about how much he loves Texas. After a speech about this is the big Rumble and Cass is going to act like HBK in 1995, Chris Jericho is in at #2. Cass starts fast and throws Jericho around, only to have to block the Walls. A catapult sends Jericho to the apron and Kalisto is in at #3.

Dean and Ellsworth agree to go after Strowman but James stays on the floor. James goes in and is quickly tossed, leaving Dean, Dillinger and Zayn to work on Strowman. Baron Corbin is in at #13 and makes it a quadruple team but Strowman gets rid of Dillinger for his seventh elimination. Corbin and company hammer on Strowman and Baron actually clotheslines Braun out on his own for a BIG surprise.

Again that goes nowhere as Cesaro is in at #19 with the ring getting too full. Cesaro Swings a bunch of people until Rusev superkicks him down. Xavier Woods is in at #20, giving us Sami, Jericho, Ambrose, Corbin, Kofi, Miz, Sheamus, Big E., Rusev, Cesaro and Woods. New Day hammers on Sheamus and Miz is sent into a double kick in the corner.

Enzo gets all fired up and takes one heck of a clothesline before being tossed. Goldberg is in at #28 and this could be very interesting. The spear drops Lesnar in a hurry and a clothesline gets rid of Brock two seconds later. Sami takes a Jackhammer but Orton and Wyatt jump Goldberg.

Pyro wraps us up.

Results

Charlotte b. Bayley – Natural Selection onto the apron

Kevin Owens b. Roman Reigns – Pin after a powerslam from Braun Strowman

Neville b. Rich Swann – Rings of Saturn

John Cena b. AJ Styles – Attitude Adjustment

Randy Orton won the 2017 Royal Rumble last eliminating Roman Reigns

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.