Survivor Series Count-Up – 1994 (Original): I Like It

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1994
Date: November 23, 1994
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Gorilla Monsoon

Given that commentary team, I’m a bit worried. Your main match here is Taker vs. Yoko in a rematch of the Rumble’s casket match where something like 10 guys beat up Taker and caused him to be taken out of the company for about three or four months. Tonight the guest referee is Chuck Norris. Nope I’m not making that up and I guarantee there will be a ton of jokes about it.

Other than that we have Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund for the WWF Title which is an I Quit match where someone has to throw in the towel for you, which is how Backlund lost the title back in the early 80s. Other than that we have three Survivor Series matches which don’t look very appealing.

I think they finally got the balance right here with two singles matches that were huge and the rest were traditional matches. It looks ok on paper and since this is my second time reviewing it, I know it’s at least pretty good. Let’s see if it’s as good as it was four days ago.

We open with clips of all the teams getting pep talks from their leaders. Shawn is very cocky, which would come into play later on. Lawler is the only captain that doesn’t want a camera on these meetings. Since we’re in Texas, everyone is wearing a cowboy hat. Oh how I love these theme PPVs.

The announcers run down the card with Gorilla not being able to get a word in. Yep it’s going to be one of those kinds of nights. As Fink introduces the first team, he’s really hard to understand. If I didn’t know what to listen for I’d be completely lost here.

Teamsters vs. Bad Guys

Teamsters: Shawn Michaels, Diesel, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jeff Jarrett
Bad Guys: Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, British Bulldog, Fatu, Sionne

Sionne is the Barbarian replacing Samu. Your feuds line up like this: Razor vs. Diesel, since Razor took the IC belt from him about a month or so prior to this. That’s about it really. Oh Bulldog is there because of Owen and Neidhart. Other than that, yeah there’s no feuds or drama going on at all that I can remember. On the way to the ring, Shawn dives in front of Diesel to be in the spotlight. They’re tag champions at the time. Oh that’s right.

They took the belts from the Headshrinkers so that’s at least most of the team. Vince says that Survivor Series only comes once a year. Well yeah so does every other day of the year but we don’t have a freaking PPV for it. Although I have a feeling that if Vince could get away with it he’d try to. Gorilla trying to sound like a cowboy is rather amusing. Vince and Gorilla argue over who the captain is. Shawn is really turning into the heel that he would become famous as.

Gorilla is once again glad he retired. Did this guy hate his career or something? In a running story of this match, Fatu is having trouble with his new boots. He was barefoot for years and apparently wearing boots is a plot point to a match now. Yep that makes great sense. They mention that they can’t find Jarrett’s new CD anywhere as Gorilla continues his love affair with kayfabe.

You know, Barbarian really wasn’t that bad of a worker. He had more or less the same gimmick with a few minor tweaks for his entire career and he always managed to find work. Sure he’s generic but he stuck with his stuff and he got steady work out of it. That’s really all you can ask for isn’t it? We get Owen vs. Bulldog which is of course great. Owen is now the Rocket King. Yeah that’s not a weird name at all.

If there has ever been a match of two guys that could have been world champion but never could pull it off, this is it. Bulldog does that delayed suplex on Anvil which is rather impressive. The faces have momentum so naturally, they stop things dead for another foot issue with Fatu. Jarrett and Razor go at it for awhile, which was a very good feud actually.

Shawn’s hair is ridiculously short here. He almost looks like Rick Rude if that tells you anything. Jarrett really was good in the ring. For some reason people never took to him as a superstar. I think it was the singing thing. It’s sad to hear Gorilla not be able to get more than a few lines in at a time. Vince insists that he is the best commentator of all time and he’s going to make sure you know it too.

The heels do a lot of harmless standard stuff on the Kid that isn’t really interesting at all. Diesel finally comes in and within two and a half minutes he’s eliminated everyone but Razor. It’s three jackknives and a shot that leads to a count out. That makes it 5-1 with Razor being the only guy left. As you can tell Diesel is an absolute freak at this point in time. Shawn yells at Diesel to stay in the match.

Razor is beating Diesel who to be fair is worn out at this point since he can’t buy a tag. Diesel hits the jackknife and Razor is dead. Shawn gets in for the first time and he wants Razor held up for the kick. You know what’s coming here and yep, Shawn kicks Diesel. Now the cool part: Diesel doesn’t go down. He goes to one knee, but the kick doesn’t knock him completely down. Diesel is TICKED. He goes after Shawn who runs.

The rest of his team tries to calm him down with Owen and Jarrett screaming that they need to get back before they lose. Shawn gets counted out and apparently that’s enough to eliminate all five guys and yes, Razor wins like that. Ok, let’s see why this is stupid. Number one, only Shawn was legal. If he’s the only one legal, then another ten count should have started up. Now if no one else got in before that, then sure it’s a count out.

Also, if Jarrett and Hart were so worried, why didn’t one of them run back? That would at least have made sense. This was just an odd ending. No scratch that. It was a freaking stupid ending. What was the plan here? Was this supposed to be intelligent?

To be fair though, this really did look cool and was a good face turn as this was I think the third time that this had happened. The people were getting behind Diesel at the time and they pulled the trigger on him at the perfect time. Even the fans don’t sound thrilled about Razor, the biggest face in the match, winning like this though. That’s just never a good sign.

Rating: C-. It was ok at best before Diesel got in there but then he stole the show. This was a rollercoaster of a match with no eliminations for 13 minutes then four in less than three then five at once. That’s a bit too much over the top stuff for my taste. The in ring work was solid, but this was just for Shawn and Diesel and the face turn, so that’s all fine and good I guess. It wasn’t bad, but this could have been better. I’m just not sure how.

Todd is in the back with Pettingill as he’s leaving the arena. He says that he made Diesel and that he got stabbed in the back. He throws down the belt thereby vacating them and drives off as Vince tells Todd that Diesel is on the way. Ok wait. First of all, why is Vince telling Todd this? Couldn’t it just have gone to Todd?

I know Vince likes to be involved in everything but this is ridiculous. Second, Shawn had time to get his bag, stop to talk to Todd, walk with Todd, get in his car, talk to Todd more, and Diesel was just on his way? Did he stop to have a taco or something?

Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us

Royal Family: Jerry Lawler, Cheesy, Queasy, Sleazy
Clowns R Us: Doink, Dink, Wink, Pink

Yes this is a midget match. They have three guys that look like them and yeah, that’s about it. Lawler is borderline abusive to his guys though. Since this match completely sucks, here’s the short version: Doink and Lawler do maybe a single move and then the small guys run in for a comedy spot. It’s high class stuff like running over and making faces at the other team and then running back to their corner. Yep it’s one of those kinds of matches.

The commentators imply that the kings are kids, despite them having FACIAL HAIR. To prove the stupidity of this match, the announcers point out that when one of the big guys is pinned, the guy that pins him is in essence eliminated too since it can only be big vs. big and little vs. little. This comedy stuff goes on for about ten minutes. That’s just freaking stupid. The holds and moves they do are things like armbars and wristlocks too.

While they’re on the mat, the guys run back and forth and all six run over Lawler. I wish I had a gun so I could shoot either myself or the screen. And now the six all run over Doink. All this is done to make faces at each other. Yes I hate this match quite a bit. Why do we always have to have these comedy matches? There’s never a point to them and only Vince likes them. I hate this so much. Oh look, it’s a Burger King crown. This is just so funny. How did Lawler get here? He had a career.

Dink wants to fight Lawler, so he gets on Doink’s shoulders. Lawler counters by getting on one of the small king’s shoulders. I’ll give you two guesses as to how this goes. It’s been only the two big guys the whole match. We get a random Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade ad as apparently the WWF has a part of a float. I don’t care either. As we get a test of strength, it’s a double criss cross by the midgets. Take me now.

One of them gives Lawler an object and he nails Doink. You would think that would be the pin but nope, it’s time for more comedy. I feel like I’m at a bad circus. Instead Doink goes on offense and it takes a reversed cross body to eliminate him. Over the next five minutes it’s the clowns getting beaten after cheating from Lawler. Of this whole thing, only Dink is actually entertaining.

His offense makes sense, he’s energetic, he plays to the crowd and he’s not boring. That’s such a nice change of pace. Of course Lawler’s team gets the clean sweep. Afterwards he takes credit for the whole thing and all six guys come after him which is just rather stupid. To end this awfulness, Doink comes back and pies Lawler. Yep, that’s how it ends.

Rating: G. That’s below an F. That sums it up I’d think. Dink gets a passing grade. He was actually really fun and entertaining. That might be because it was actual wrestling, but I could be wrong.

We hear about the Women’s Title change three days ago in Japan where Alundra Blayze lost to Bull Nakano. I haven’t seen it but from what I’ve heard it was a great one. Wouldn’t it be great to either see the match or a rematch or something instead of what we just sat through? Nope apparently that wasn’t good enough though, so instead we have Lawler getting pied by a clown. Nakano is here, so why can’t we have the match? I hate Vince at times.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

The deal here is that Backlund says that since he never gave up in 83, he never should have lost the title and therefore has had a 13 year title reign (he had the belt for two years when he lost it). He also says there’s no counter for the Cross Face Chicken Wing while Hart says that everything has a counter. Owen and Bulldog are the respective seconds and one of them have to throw in the towel to get the win.

Both have sworn they won’t do it. By those rules, regular submissions don’t count so you can give up all you want and it won’t count. That….is kind of stupid. They start out rather hot and fast which would be the peak of that aspect of the match. Bret uses a heabutt a lot. Has he ever gotten hurt using one of those? Not that I remember at least. We’re already on the mat as they actually compare the resumes of these two, and I think Backlund is slightly in the lead.

Six years as world champion is very hard to ignore. They mention a poll that was taken and 79% say that the Chicken Wing is the better hold? Gorilla, much like myself, refuses to believe that. They’re doing a very slow start here as Stu and Helen are watching from ringside. This is a bit odd as Bret will do…HOLY CRAP! Bret put on the abdominal stretch and Monsoon DIDN’T COMPLAIN!

That has never happened before and will likely never happen again. Dang I need a stiff drink after that. Orange juice will do fine. Anyway, as I was saying before I had my heart attack, Bret is doing a bunch of submission stuff and then Backlund will go for the chicken wing. That’s a bit of a cool idea I think with Bret being the master of all submissions and Bob being the guy with one big home run hitting move that he knows will win him the title if he can get it.

The impressive thing here though is that Bob is not only hanging with Bret here but at times flat out beating him. That’s saying a lot for someone that wasn’t a regular wrestler for years on end. Vince says that Bret doesn’t know how to submit. How amusing is it that he says this about Bret at the Survivor Series? Apparently Vince is right here though since Bret never did give up.

It never ceases to amaze me how much a few years can change things and how ironic so many of these lines would eventually become and now are in hindsight. Now for a nice change of pace, Backlund does a lot of mat work on Bret. He works over his arm, which makes sense for a change. Bret hits the post shoulder first in one of the most time honored bumps ever. That’s been used for years and it still works to this day.

Bret keeps trying to make his comebacks but Bob keeps taking him down, seemingly with ease. That’s the mark of a great wrestler: he can do his stuff and make it look easy. Now we get to what is likely the stupidest part of the match as Bret makes his traditional comeback and puts on his other submission hold: the figure four. Now this is fine, but Backlund gives up. However, the match doesn’t end because Owen refuses to throw in the towel.

So in other words, Bret has won the submission match, but he didn’t do it properly? Yeah that just sounds stupid. IN other words, you could just get some jerk to be the towel guy and then break your opponent’s leg or something, but since the towel isn’t thrown in it means nothing? Yeah that makes great sense.

I have to give the fans this: for a match that’s about 90% mat work, they’re staying interested. Hopefully this Sunday at Breaking Point (this is Thursday, three days before that), that’s what happens too. Backlund manages to reverse it for all of a minute. Bret gets ready for the Sharpshooter but Bob is back in it. Oh never mind no he’s not. Gorilla is finally able to talk a bit as Backlund actually wins a fist fight here. He’s quite underrated.

He follows it with a piledriver as I’m impressed by this guy. Bob works on the arm even more and the selling from Bret is great as he looks like he’s in agony. The fans are actually still in this too, which makes me feel better than they could actually get into very old school style like this. This is practically out of the 50s or 60s. Anyway, after another three minutes or so of getting beaten on, Bret makes probably his third comeback and gets the Sharpshooter, but Owen runs in for the save.

Bulldog chases him and we get the bit spot of the match as he freaking LUNGES at Owen but Rocket moves out of the way and Bulldog smacks the steps hard. He’s out cold, and Owen doesn’t know what to do now. As Bret looks down at this, he gets locked in the Chicken Wing. Now what follows is something you’ll hardly ever see again; Bret is in the hold for over nine minutes straight. Yes that’s correct, nine minutes. How many Raw main events don’t even get that long?

Now imagine Hart being in the same hold that long. The thing is, the fans are going to be rather bored when you think about it. Actually maybe not. Two things are going to happen here. First of all, people are going to start thinking that there’s no way that Bret is going to lose. Second, with every passing second that goes by, the people start thinking that any second now it’s going to happen, and that build up even more tension.

That is actually something close to brilliant when you think about it. After the first four minutes or so, Owen begins pleading with his family to save Bret and saying that he didn’t mean for this to happen. Ok wait a minute. If Owen is trying to get his parents to throw in the towel, doesn’t that mean that it doesn’t have to be the predetermined towel thrower?

Ok that’s all fine. However, if that’s the case, why can’t Owen just throw it in himself? Wouldn’t that make a lot more sense? Maybe because he’s the other thrower he can’t do that? That actually makes sense because if that was allowed then it would be like a Vince Russo match with one person having to throw in the other towel first to lose. But wait, if anyone can do it, why not just have a big gang come out and take the towel from Davey and throw it in?

See why I’m not a fan of this era’s booking? It has holes in it that you could drive a truck through. Anyway, Stu keeps saying no way while Helen is on the verge of screaming. Owen begs and begs, eventually getting down on his knees. As a credit to Bret, even though he’s been in this thing nearly ten minutes, the whole time he’s been trying to roll around and move a bit so that it’s not just him laying there.

That’s the mark of a great worker: the main story is on the floor because as evidenced earlier, the wrestlers can give up all they want but the towel has to be thrown in to end the match. Bret could literally lay there forever and it would have fit the rules of the match perfectly.

However, he realized that it was better to at least look like he was trying, which makes the match more believable, despite the focus not being on him at all. That’s a very nice little touch and another reason why Bret is better than you, along with getting to screw 20 year old Sunny. That makes him divine.

While this is all happening, including the pleading from Owen, Bulldog is still out like a light. He hasn’t moved in like 10 minutes and no one has come to help him. You can see him laying there out cold behind Stu while Owen is freaking out. Only in the WWF could an employee lay on the floor for that long and have no help given to him at all. Also, I think Stu has lost some age in the past year.

He looks MUCH better than he did the year before. Last year he looked like he was about 90. Now he could pass for 60 or so. That’s rather impressive. Dang he’s 79 years old at this point. I’m impressed indeed. Anyway, Helen can’t take anymore and snatches the towel away from Stu to throw it in and give Backlund the title as the fans are a combination of stunned and MAD, but more of the former.

Bob freaking Backlund just won the world title. However, the more important thing is that as soon as they throw the towel in, Owen jumps to his feet cheering before sprinting to the back pumping his fist, revealing it was the greatest acting job since a diva had to act like Vince was hot. Bret deserves an award here for the selling. It’s amazingly great. We now get the awesomeness that is the celebration of Backlund’s victory.

He is euphoric over winning here, holding his hands up in the air and with the belt around his waist. It’s so simple but his facial expressions shove this to such a high level of awesomeness that it’s insane. Since it goes with it, I’ll include Owen’s interview as part of this. As we cut to the back, the look on the face of Owen is amazing as well.

See what happens when you give the best workers the best storylines? You get great material. Anyway, Owen admits that it was all a setup and that this is the greatest day of his life, since he’s going to get all of the titles and that he’ll never quit. His face here is mind blowingly awesome. That whole thing was epic.

Rating: A. The only thing keeping this from an A+ is some of the holes in the booking, but this was magnificent. However, I could very easily see how some people wouldn’t be into this. It’s very hit or miss and while I and most of the other old school fans would love this, a lot of people wouldn’t get why it’s great and for once, I’m perfectly fine with that. It’s not something that everyone can get into and that’s fine.

It’s a very different style than any of us are used to since it’s such an old school style. It’s the epitome of hit or miss with people likely either loving it completely or wanting a hatchet to cut out their eyes so they will be less bored. However, the stuff at the end is almost impossible to love. The emotions and acting here are top notch and the whole 45 minute plus (yes it’s that long) segment is just amazing to me, but like I said, if you disagree here, I understand for a change.

Now since I doubt most of you remember Backlund’s reign, I thought you might like to see how it ends. This is four days after Survivor Series in Madison Square Garden.

Backlund then crawled up the aisle to leave. He made Nash look like a god and it worked beautifully. However, later on he complained about how Nash took the celebration too far and didn’t show him enough respect. Dude, you’re 45 years old and more or less a novelty act who got beat in 8 seconds so that they could save Nash vs. Hart. Get over your hall of fame self.

Vince and Gorilla can’t believe it. Vince booked it, why couldn’t he believe it?

Guts N Glory vs. Million Dollar Team

Guts N Glory: Lex Luger, Mabel, Adam Bomb, Smoking Guns
Million Dollar Team: King Kong Bundy, Tatanka, Bam Bam Bigelow, Heavenly Bodies

Bundy isn’t really the captain. He’s just listed first here. I don’t think there actually was one here. This was the tail end of the awesome Tatanka vs. Luger feud, which kick started at Summerslam. The idea was simple: Tatanka and just about everyone else on the planet thought Luger had sold out to DiBiase, but there was no concrete proof. Basically DiBiase kept helping Luger, but there was never anything for sure.

Tatanka kept saying Luger did it, but Luger denied it. This led to a match at Summerslam, where in reality Tatanka was the one that had sold out all along. It was a lot better than it sounds here and that’s your main basis for this match. It’s really more DiBiase vs. Luger, but Luger had to get his army of lower midcard faces to help him out so here we are. Have I ever mentioned that I absolutely hate Men on a Mission? I absolutely loathe them.

Mo isn’t here for this, but we still get Mabel and Oscar, making M.O. out of them, so in a weird way we have all three of them. Yeah that was stupid. Luger and Tatanka start here as Vince recaps everything I just said. I beat Vince to it. Take that you old man. While Luger is getting chopped, Mable raises the roof on the apron, showing the cutting edge intellectual capacity he brings to this team. They somehow botch a clothesline where Luger hits him in the back of the head.

Pritchard comes in but before Luger kills him we get Mabel vs. Bundy. Please take me now. Wait apparently no we don’t. Ok so wait, Mabel came in and challenged Bundy, then stepped out just to come back in. Yeah I hate this match already. The crowd chants Whoop there it is. Bundy is out in less than ten seconds and Pritchard comes back in. Since he’s tiny and Mable has his own gravitational pull, this is going to be quick.

He goes to the second rope and hits a freaking CROSS BODY BLOCK onto Pritchard to kill him completely. Vince botches the call by saying that the Gigolo calls himself Del Ray. Is anyone else getting a migraine? I know I am. Somehow for the third time in four minutes we have Bundy vs. Mable.

Yep I’ll have that image in my head for the rest of the show, and somehow it’s less stupid than this. Amazingly, this showdown is awful. Let’s go to Bigelow. He has that pesky thing called talent though so he just doesn’t fit in here at all. He goes for an enziguri which misses but Mabel tries a spin kick. I would say hits, but he literally misses by at least 10 inches. I mean this was awful. The fans loudly groaned at the sight of it.

I have to finish it. I have to finish it. I have to finish it. This HAS to improve. I don’t think it can actually get worse. They both go to the floor so they can lay there for awhile since it’s past their nap times. They have to stop for one an hour after they eat. They take a lot of naps.

Mabel gets counted out as Bigelow beats the count. Somehow that fat tub of goo would be the King of the Ring and top heel within 8 months. Vince must have been on the REALLY GOOD crack at this time. Or maybe he didn’t have any in him at all and that’s what caused all this. So now we have Del Ray vs. Billy Gunn. Somehow, this is better. Read who’s in there, and think about that for a minute.

Now we shift to Bomb vs. Bigelow and Adam hits that SWEET slingshot clothesline of his. Dang I love that move. He dominates just like he would do against Mabel at In Your House but after one shot from Bundy, Bigelow puts him down and moonsaults him out of it. I’ve always hated when a guy gets hit with one shot and since it’s from behind, it’s a knockout shot. What’s the deal with that? Del Ray hits two sweet superkicks that do nothing at all.

However, after a standard illegal elbow, he’s gone to Luger. Good to see that some things never chance. The Guns beat on Tatanka for the better part of ever and it’s just barely interesting. They were just such a worthless team. You can tell they’re real cowboys though. They’re wearing khakis. Yep the Beautiful People match is certainly more interesting, especially with those shots of Velvet’s figure. Dang.

Anyway, Bart goes for a crucifix and gets caught in the End of the Trail, which is apparently the name of Tatanka’s finishing move. Forget that it’s the Papoose To Go. We’re 4-2 now with the excellent team of Billy Gunn and Lex Luger against the four heels. Oh this isn’t going to be pleasant. I really can’t stand Vince saying YES NO! Is he really that impatience? A splash ends Billy, making it AMERICA vs. four. Oh boy I can barely contain my excitement.

As I look at my clock, we’ve been at this beatdown for six minutes now. Oh joy indeed. Why do I need to see Luger get beaten up that long? Wait, that might mean an injury which means him off TV. BLAST HIM WITH EVERY FREAKING THING YOU’VE GOT PEOPLE! Our ot nowhere Luger rolls him up for the pin and then literally lays there on the ground while Bundy gets ready for the splash.

It was without a doubt the worst looking thing I’ve ever seen in a match like this. That’s the end and the heels celebrate before beating on Luger forever. The faces finally run out for the save. I guess they wanted to see the annoying one get beaten on too. This segment just went on forever.

Rating: C-. I know I blasted this match a lot, but for some reason by the end it wasn’t horrible. I think it was the faces losing clean that fixed a lot of this. That’s what the match should have been: the heels getting a clean win which is something that hardly ever happens. It’s a match where the pieces don’t add up to what you get at the end, which is a good thing.

Backlund has a press conference to talk about how he’ll be a role model. Yep for all of three days.

Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

Before this, we have the debut of the deity himself, Chuck Norris. He’s the guest referee tonight, which shouldn’t be a problem for him. He can certainly count to ten. He counted to infinity twice, so ten is easy. He’s there to keep people from coming out to beat up Taker. That’s a good idea, since he’s so strong that he never does push-ups. He simply pushes the world down. After two of the slowest intros ever, it’s time to go.

Before the match even begins, we can already see the problem here: no one believes Yoko has a chance, and he doesn’t. Yoko can’t really do anything to Taker so Taker starts beating on him. The managers interfere to turn the momentum over. Yeah that doesn’t work. Momentum implies movement, and I don’t think they’ve actually moved in this match. They’re just so freaking slow. Now with Taker it makes sense, but with Yoko it’s just due to fatness.

He took some time off after this match and came back even bigger. That can’t be good. Anyway, Norris is mostly just window dressing for the majority of this match. He’s shown a few times standing there. Dang I ran out of jokes for a minute. I’ll make up for it later. Eventually Bigelow and Bundy come out and yell at him, leading to IRS running in and nailing Taker then putting him in a sleeper.

Taker would feud with DiBiase’s team until I think the following Summerslam, so yeah that went on way too long. The fat guys don’t do anything to Norris, and I can’t blame them. After all when the Boogeyman goes to bed at night he checks the closet for Chuck Norris. I’d be afraid too. So yeah, the rest is rather predictable, as has been the first part of the match. Yoko keeps trying but at the last second Taker rises up. The lack of drama is freaking killing this match.

It’s clear that no one believes Yoko has a chance. It’s fine to want to send the fans home happy, but at least try to build some drama. At least make Yoko look like he has a snowball’s chance out there. For no good reason, Jarrett comes out and Norris kicks him in the chest. Well that was rather pointless.

Yoko gets kicked into the casket to end it. I know that’s really lackluster, but seriously there was just nothing else to say about it. It was just as you would expect it to be: not that interesting, slow, and completely lacking in drama. This was pretty bad.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was bad. As I’ve said a million times, the best thing a match can do is have you guessing who is going to win. There was absolutely zero doubt here who the winner would be. It’s a great sign when you know who the winner is going in and they get you caught up in it anyway.

For a great example, see Taker vs. Shawn. We knew Taker would win, but it got us going anyway. As for this, Norris was the big celebrity of the show and he did what he was supposed to do: beat up a midcard guy. It was ok for a pointless main event, but this wasn’t interesting at all.

Overall Rating: C-. This is about as back and forth of a show as you’re ever going to find. The first match is ok, the second is beyond awful, the third is great, the fourth is ok, and the last is awful. Also, a LOT of people will disagree on the title match, and like I said before I’m fine with that. It’s a tricky one to call and it really depends on your taste as a fan. I loved it, and for me it almost carries this show. Overall, the show is certainly watchable, but it’s forgettable.

The title change that mattered was the following weekend so this one meant little. Other than that, it’s a very forgettable show. Taker won the feud as he always did, there was an awful match, Luger managed to blow another one, and there was an ok opener. Seriously, nothing here stands out. It’s ok if you’re really bored and just want to kill about 3 hours, but don’t go out of your way.

 

 

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I’m Done With Dark

It’s the second time I’ve given up on a weekly show and as much as I can’t stand it, it’s not worth it anymore.  The show is hardly bad and you do get a good match or two every week, but this week’s show broke two hours and twenty minutes.  That’s longer than multiple non-In Your House WWE PPVs (the first Wrestlemania was about 2:15) and it’s getting longer.  I was sitting here waiting for the show to end and wondering how late I was going to have to be up to watch it, all the while thinking about how annoyed I was going to get because it just keeps going with one 4-5 minute jobber match after another.  There is so much more wrestling out there today that I don’t have the interest in watching a show for the sake of seeing if Brandon Cutler or Peter Avalon moves to 1-25 first (though that feud was rather funny).  It’s a nice enough show, but it’s not worth 2+ hours of my time and sanity every week.  I’m done.




Monday Night Raw – October 26, 2020: They Cleared That Low Bar

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 26, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe

We’re on the way to Survivor Series, meaning that the rosters, which have now been together for all of a week and a half, will suddenly realize how much they can’t stand the people on the other show because of all of their newfound pride. I’m not sure how WWE is going to make us believe that the shows are invading each other when they work in the same building and the people have been appearing on the other shows since the Draft anyway, but this show isn’t the most logical. Let’s get to it.

Here is Hell In A Cell if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Randy Orton beating Drew McIntyre to win the Raw World Title.

Opening sequence.

Here’s McIntyre for a chat. He lost the title last night but he will be getting it back. The loss made him think of the movie Rocky, because Rocky got knocked down a lot but kept getting back up. McIntyre is going to get back up and keep going, but here are Miz and John Morrison to interrupt. McIntyre: “You just messed up.” They praise McIntyre for his title reign but say it’s really doing him a favor. Now he doesn’t have to worry about facing Randy Orton for the title, because Miz is Mr. Money in the Bank.

Miz even talks about beating Orton for the title when he first cashed in the title….right here actually. And it turns out that Orton is a guest on A Moment Of Bliss right here tonight! They hope McIntyre doesn’t take another 19 years to get the title shot but McIntyre headbutts Miz and suplexes Morrison. Miz breaks up the Future Shock though and the two of them get away, minus the briefcase. McIntyre does stomp on Morrison’s sunglasses though and says he has an idea to run by management.

We run down tonight’s three Survivor Series qualifying matches.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy

Before the match, AJ says he is 2-0 on Raw, so why is he in a qualifying match? Hasn’t he proven himself around the world? Does he have to prove himself to Adam Pearce and the rest of the jokers in the back? AJ should be the captain of Team Raw because he is the face that runs this place. He is still over Hardy using a knee brace to win a match and promises to make Jeff with he was still on the bottle.

We start fast with Jeff hammering away but stopping to dive onto Jordan, who catches him in the air and we take a break. Back with AJ hitting a brainbuster for two but the Phenomenal Forearm is broken up. The basement dropkick gives Hardy two of his own and there’s the slingshot dropkick in the corner for the same. AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker gives him a breather though and it’s the torture rack powerbomb for two more. Hardy fights back but has to stop to glare at Jordan, allowing AJ to catch him on top. AJ sends him into the buckle and the Phenomenal Forearm sends AJ to Survivor Series at 9;57.

Rating: C. This was more about making AJ look like a threat because of Jordan being out there with him and that’s fine. Hardy isn’t going to be hurt by a loss and AJ belongs on the team. The wrestling was completely acceptable because it was AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy but beyond that, the action wasn’t the point here.

Post match AJ and Jordan leave so here’s Elias to hit Hardy with another guitar.

R-Truth is ready for all of his challengers. He eats and sleeps dangerously so much that his name is R Franklin Dangerously Cobblepot Truth.

Susan G. Kommen video.

Lucha House Party vs. Akira Tozawa/Drew Gulak

Gulak and Dorado knock each other down to start and here’s R-Truth to walk around the ring. Tozawa rolls him up for two and everyone goes after Truth until Gulak grabs a rollup to actually win the tag match at 2:07.

Post match everyone tries to pin Truth but he runs off.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House where everyone is having a tea party. Ramblin Rabbit doesn’t understand any Bray is upset because Hell in a Cell is awesome. Cue Alexa Bliss with some special tea for Rabbit. It has strawberry, peach, cinnamon and a secret ingredient. Why yes, it is arsenic, and Rabbit dies again.

Bray thinks they’re all mad to come here because this is a wacky place. You need to let him heal you, so Bliss goes into her trance and says let him in. Rabbit tells Honey Bunny that he’s coming home and Bray beats him senseless as Bliss laughs. Bray is looking forward to seeing Randy Orton on A Moment Of Bliss tonight. BYE! Of note: this segment included camera shots of the non-existent crowd watching the screen. They felt the need to show monitors watching monitors. Twice. Think about that for a second and try to keep your brains in your skulls.

We look back at Braun Strowman beating Keith Lee last week with a low blow.

Keith Lee says there was nothing fair about last week and promises to show Braun a real monster next week. Tonight it’s about getting on the Survivor Series team though, because that’s what’s important around here.

Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler argue over who is the team captain. HEY! DID YOU KNOW THEY ARGUE A LOT??? BECAUSE THEY ARGUE A LOT! GET IT???

Here’s Elias for a song before his match. His new album is #2 on the charts so let’s get it to #1. The playing begins but there’s something else going on.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Elias vs. Keith Lee

Lee runs him over to start and hits a running crossbody to put Elias on the floor. A Pounce sends Elias over the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back with Elias fighting out of an armbar and knocking Lee down. An elbow drop gets two but Lee is right back with a powerslam. Lee hammers away in the corner but Elias faceplants him down for two. Cue Jeff Hardy’s music for a distraction though and Lee is back with the Spirit Bomb for the pin at 9:58.

Rating: D+. Lee is now to the point where he needs interference to beat ELIAS in about ten minutes. Remember like two months ago when he was the unstoppable monster of NXT? Yeah forget all that, because now he is just another person in the overflowing midcard on Raw. It’s incredibly frustrating and really not that surprising, which is a lot of the problems in WWE in one situation.

Post match, Hardy breaks a guitar over Elias’ back.

The Hurt Business yells at someone for daring to go near their bathroom.

We recap Orton winning the title last night.

Orton doesn’t care who is coming for the title because there is only one Randy Orton and that means the same thing for everyone.

Long video on the Hurt Business vs. Retribution. I really wouldn’t advise reminding us of that.

Retribution vs. Hurt Business

Elimination rules. Before the match, MVP talks about how the Hurt Business has been taking the fight to Retribution as part of a deal with Raw. Once they are dispatched, it will be time to collect payment, and the Hurt Business wants to be paid in gold. Lashley and T-Bar get things going and they fight over the lockup to start. They slug away (sweet goodness with the camera cuts) until Lashley powers him down with a Downward Spiral. It’s off to MVP to hammer away as well but T-Bar gets in a shot to the ribs, allowing the tag to Mace.

The pounding continues and Slapjack hits a dropkick to the back of the head for two. MVP is back with a running boot in the corner and an exploder gets two. Cue Reckoning on the apron to…scratch herself a lot and shout GET OFF ME, suggesting that there are bugs all over her (or she’s a fan of Billy Kidman’s time in the Flock). The distraction lets Slapjack roll MVP up for the pin, but she keeps writhing around and freaking out as we take a break.

Back with Lashley waistlocking Slapjack as we see Reckoning admitting the whole thing was faked during the break, earning herself an elimination. The spear gets rid of Slapjack without much effort so it’s T-Bar in to beat on Lashley. They fight to the floor and that’s a double countout to get us down to Alexander/Benjamin vs. Mace/Ali. Alexander goes after Mace in a hurry but gets knocked into the corner.

Mace pounds away in the corner and hits a running splash but Alexander knocks Ali off the apron. A boot to the face staggers Mace and it’s the Neuralizer into Paydirt to finish Mace and get it down to 2-1. Cedric starts pounding on Ali, who manages a running kick to knock Benjamin off the apron. A big backdrop puts Ali down though and Alexander kicks him to the floor. That’s fine with Ali, who hits Alexander with the chair for the DQ at 13:49.

Rating: D+. This is the kind of ending that would usually be fine for a team like Retribution, but given that they have lost every match they have had so far, including some via clean submission, this is another nail in their already hole filled coffin. At least they didn’t save this for Survivor Series, because it would have been the biggest waste of time since Four Doinks. Nothing match, but the death of Retribution continues to be more sad than anything else.

Post match the Hurt Business chases Ali off.

Angel Garza hits on Mandy Rose, Dana Brooke and Nia Jax, who gets rid of them. With Garza gone, Jax/Baszler and Mandy/Dana argue over who the captains should be. Oh and watch the titles. Shayna can’t believe Nia seems interested in Garza. Jax: “Why not?” Are we really going to have to sit through this “I’M THE CAPTAIN” stuff for the next month again?

The Miz vs. Drew McIntyre

John Morrison is here with Miz and his distraction lets Miz go after the knee. That goes badly for Miz as McIntyre knocks him to the floor for the chop, only to get sent ribs first into the steps. Back in and Morrison’s cheap shot actually works, allowing Miz to hammer away. McIntyre doesn’t seem to mind and nips back up, only to have the Future Shock broken up. Morrison’s briefcase shot misses and Drew sends the briefcase flying. Back in and the Claymore finishes Miz at 4:13.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to show that McIntyre is still around. The match was a glorified handicap match anyway so McIntyre gets to look extra good in a short outing. It isn’t like Miz losing is going to hurt him whatsoever and the briefcase will keep him relevant for a long time to come.

New Day, dressed as the Street Profits (with Kofi getting a little groggy from the red solo cup), are ready for Survivor Series where it’s champions vs. champions. That means the Street Profits vs. the New Day, Asuka (who comes in) vs. Sasha Banks, Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns and, with the Hurt Business coming in, Bobby Lashley vs. Sami Zayn. MVP says they have their eyes on the Tag Team Titles too but Asuka starts the New Day Rocks dance to get rid of the Hurt Business.

Adam Pearce and Pat Buck are here to introduce the Raw women’s Survivor Series team: Nia Jax, Shayna Baszler, Mandy Rose, Dana Brooke and….hang on as Nia wants to announce the fifth member because she’s the captain. Not so fast because Shayna thinks she’s the captain, but Pearce makes a four way to crown the fifth member.

Lana vs. Lacey Evans vs. Peyton Royce vs. Nikki Cross

It’s a brawl to start with Royce diving onto Cross and Evans as we take a break thirty seconds in. Back with Royce running Cross over for two but Cross is back up to dive onto Lana. Cross’ high crossbody gets two on Royce as we hear about Elias’ album reaching #1 on Apple Music. Lana comes back in (tripping over the ropes a bit on the way) and is promptly hit with the Woman’s Right to give Evans two. Lacey’s superplex attempt on Cross is broken up and Cross knocks Peyton down as well. The Tower of Doom works well enough though…and Lana steals the pin at 8:05.

Rating: D. And there it is, despite very little drama in the whole thing. Who else was going to win here? Lana is the spunky underdog of the team and in a normal promotion, she would make a big impact at Survivor Series. In other words, odds are she is eliminated in two minutes after Nia crushes her through a table again.

Post match Nia hugs Lana before driving her through the announcers’ table for the sixth time.

Randy Orton isn’t worried about the Fiend and Alexa Bliss coming after him on A Moment Of Bliss. If Fiend wants to get involved, Orton can introduce him to the RKO.

Mustafa Ali says Retribution isn’t a failure because they will win when everyone else suffers. Yeah no one believes you.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Sheamus vs. Matt Riddle

Riddle goes for the legs to start so Sheamus bails out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus grabs a headlock to take him to the mat but Riddle muscles him up into a gutwrench suplex. Sheamus hits the Irish Curse, only to have Riddle knock him outside for the flipping dive as we take a break. Back with Riddle winning a strike off and kicking Sheamus in the head. The Broton gets two but Sheamus is back up with a knee to the face for the same.

Sheamus goes up but Riddle catches him with a top rope exploder superplex. Riddle goes up this time but the Floating Bro hits knees. Another Irish Curse is countered into a rear naked choke, which is broken up as well. The Brogue Kick misses and Riddle grabs a bridging German suplex for two more. Riddle’s back gives out on the Bro Derek attempt though and Sheamus Brogue Kicks him for the pin at 12:48.

Rating: B-. I’ve been a Sheamus fan for a long time now but SHEAMUS??? Pinning Matt Riddle completely clean in a match with some stakes? This was a brutal and hard hitting match but they have these options and they picked Sheamus? For the life of me I don’t get this company at times and it can get rather head scratch inducing trying to make it work.

It’s time for A Moment Of Bliss with Randy Orton as the special guest. Orton isn’t interested in sitting so Bliss asks him if he was surprised about his win last night. Of course not, so Bliss asks about Orton and McIntyre burning the house down. Orton knows what that means and asks about the Fiend, but here’s McIntyre instead. The fight is on with a laughing Bliss sitting on the top rope.

The Claymore is loaded up but we’ve got the Fiend. Well at least the Fiend’s entrance, which Orton uses to escape. Orton knows what’s behind him though….and is actually smart enough to walk forward and fight with McIntyre instead of turning to face the Fiend. McIntyre is dropped onto the announcers’ table and Orton pounds away to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Above all else, this show was miles better than last week and that’s what I needed out of it. There was a point to this and while I don’t get a lot of the booking choices, they did some things that made sense and advanced us towards Survivor Series. I still wouldn’t call it good as there were some bad matches, but you can see where they’re going for the pay per view. Just tighten some things up and get rid of some stupid ideas and we’ll be in for a pretty good show. This wasn’t great, but it was an upgrade and that’s what they were badly needing.

Results

AJ Styles b. Jeff Hardy – Phenomenal Forearm

Drew Gulak/Akira Tozawa b. Lucha House Party – Rollup to Dorado

Keith Lee b. Elias – Spirit Bomb

Hurt Business b. Retribution via DQ when Mustafa Ali used a chair

Drew McIntyre b. The Miz – Claymore

Lana b. Lacey Evans, Nikki Cross and Peyton Royce – Tower of Doom to Cross

Sheamus b. Matt Riddle – Brogue Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




205 Live – October 23, 2020: They’re Doing It AGAIN

IMG Credit: WWE

205 Live
Date: October 23, 2020
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

We are on the way to the Cell, which has nothing to do with this show whatsoever. 205 Live continues to be a show that is almost kind of sort of a way to advance the cruiserweights. Granted that usually means the cruiserweights not big enough to make it to NXT, but you can get a few surprises here and there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Brian Kendrick vs. Mansoor

Kendrick grabs a headlock to start and takes it to the mat as Mansoor tries to find a way out. Back up and Kendrick armdrags him down, only to get caught in a chinlock. That’s broken up and Kendrick is already looking frustrated, which isn’t the best sign. Mansoor flips out of a belly to back suplex and scores with a dropkick. A middle rope bulldog gets two on Kendrick but he kicks Mansoor out of the air to cut him off.

They slug it out of the corner until Kendrick pulls him down into an armbar. That’s broken up and Mansoor hits a jumping clothesline into a spinebuster, followed by a Falcon Arrow for two. The moonsault misses but Mansoor is right back up with a sitout powerbomb for two more. A quick facebuster gives Kendrick the same though and another powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana to send Mansoor into the corner. Kendrick hits a butterfly superplex for two but Mansoor pulls him into a cradle for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: C+. Mansoor continues to be one of the most consistently booked stars on the show and I could go for seeing more of him. I’m still not sure why he is only around every so often but he is certainly doing something right in the ring at the moment. Now just find something a little bit better for him and they could be going somewhere.

Post match Kendrick shakes and raises Mansoor’s hand, but doesn’t seem happy about it.

Video on Jordan Devlin, the same one which aired on NXT UK. He’s been wrestling for a long time and finally reached the peak of his career. Now he’s stuck at home and he sees Santos Escobar with the Cruiserweight Title, but that belongs to Devlin. Come take it from him.

Escobar has responded via Twitter and doesn’t seem overly impressed.

We look back at the six man tag from NXT, with Legado del Fantasma beating Ashante Adonis, Isaiah Scott and Jake Atlas.

The Bollywood Boyz (the Singh Brothers) are back and Nigel McGuinness is rather pleased. They’re back and promise to bring the star power and charisma to go with the lights, camera and Bollywood action. And that’s it. It’s better than calling them the Singh Brothers I guess.

We look back at Tony Nese costing Curt Stallion $10,000 against Ariya Daivari last week.

Stallion says he has a second chance to make a first impression and tonight, he’s proving himself to Nese.

Curt Stallion vs. Tony Nese

The bell rings and here’s Ariya Daivari to offer a distraction so Nese can jump Stallion from behind. Daivari joins commentary as Stallion strikes away and hits a White Noise onto his knee for two. Nese is right back with a kick to the head and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up so Nese goes with the Lionsault for two instead. The bodyscissors stays on Stallion’s ribs but he has to elbow his way out of a torture rack.

Stallion knocks him into the corner and adds a running basement dropkick. There’s a DDT for two so Nese rolls outside, only to get dropped with a moonsault from Stallion. Daivari starts yelling, so Stallion drops him with a headbutt. Back in and the Running Nese finishes Stallion at 7:25.

Rating: C. Stallion got to showcase himself a bit and that’s the point of something like that. It makes sense to have him come close to beating Nese but not being able to pull it off, because that would be a heck of an upset. I’m not sure if I need to see what seems to be another random pair of heels on this show again, but this place has about three stories to run over and over again.

Post match Daivari gets in to stand next to Nese but they leave before jumping Stallion. Commentary talks about the two of them being 205 Live originals, because we’re doing that story AGAIN.

Overall Rating: C+. Having some fresh talent around here is a good thing but I’m not sure how much I believe in 205 Live being able to make them last. This show has not have the best track record for about four years now and given that we are now doing Old vs. New again, things aren’t exactly looking up. What we got here worked though, and I’ll take that over my usual apathy on this show.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1993 (2012 Redo): The American Deadman

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1993
Date: November 24, 1993
Location: Boston Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,509
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

Team IRS vs. Team Razor Ramon

IRS, Adam Bomb, Diesel, Rick Martel

Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, Marty Jannetty, Mr. Perfect

Heenan apparently called Perfect no showing this and Vince says Heenan was right for once. Bobby: “FOR ONCE???” Ramon and Martel start things off with Rick working on the arm. They fight for the arm and hit the mat for a bit before popping back up. Razor slaps him in the face and rolls through a cross body for two. Martel gets caught in the fall away slam (BIG pop for that) for two.

Razor hits a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Off to Adam Bomb who shoves Ramon into the corner with ease. They collide and Razor is knocked down in a bit of a surprise. They have a test of strength with Bomb controlling again before Ramon fights up and suplexes Bomb down.

Jannetty and Kid celebrate with Ramon. Savage is off chasing Crush.

Hart Family vs. Shawn Michaels/Knights

Bret Hart, Keith Hart, Bruce Hart, Owen Hart

Shawn Michaels, Blue Knight, Black Knight, Red Knight

Blue stays on the arm including dropping a leg, followed by a hammerlock slam. Off to Shawn who misses a Rocket Launcher, allowing the tag to Bret, prompting Shawn to tag out to Red. Red immediately gets caught in a spinebuster and the Sharpshooter to make it 4-2. Blue comes in to clothesline Bret and both he and Keith are now hurt. Bret is thrown back in and suplexed down for two.

Bruce comes in and drops an elbow on Shawn for two. Bret is still getting up after the crash he took into the barricade. Bruce and Shawn hit head to head twice in a row to really stretch this thing out. Keith comes in with an abdominal stretch (including the toe around the ankle) but Shawn hip tosses out of it with ease. Back to Bret who pounds away and crotches Shawn on the top rope. Bret picks the leg but Shawn escapes the Sharpshooter and walks out for the countout.

Smokey Mountain Wrestling Tag Titles: Heavenly Bodies vs. Rock N Roll Express

Team Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Four Doinks

Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger, Headshrinkers

Bushwhackers, Men on a Mission

As Bigelow is leaving, Doink (whose performer has recently changed) pops up on screen to laugh at Bam Bam. The next step in this feud: a midget named Dink of course.

Before the match, we get a history lesson about Boston. No seriously, this happens. Thankfully it turns into some promos from the All Americans.

Foreign Fanatics vs. All Americans

Foreign Fanatics: Yokozuna, Crush, Ludvig Borga, Jacques

All Americans: Lex Luger, Undertaker, Steiner Brothers

Ludvig pounds on the ribs and whips Scott in the corner so he can clothesline Steiner down. Borga goes up top but gets suplexed back down for two. Yokozuna comes in and pounds away, but Scott gets in some offense. He tries the freaking Frankensteiner which goes about as well as you would expect it to, resulting in a legdrop from Yokozuna eliminating Scott to get us down to two on two.

Santa comes out to celebrate with Luger just like last year.

Ratings Comparison

Team Razor Ramon vs. Team IRS

Original: B

Redo: B

Hart Family vs. Team Shawn Michaels

Original: D+

Redo: D

Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies

Original: B

Redo: B-

Four Doinks vs. Team Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: N/A

Redo: Awe

All-Americans vs. Foreign Fanatics

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

Redo: D

It was almost the same until the overall rating. I don’t get how it jumps up that high off just a few better grades.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/12/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1993-usa-usa-usa/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1993 (Original): Two Kinds Of Families

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1993
Date: November 24, 1993
Location: Boston Gardens, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,509
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

So it’s a year later now and there are indeed a few changes. For one thing, Hogan is completely gone. He would appear in WCW in a few months time. Other than that, the evil Yokozuna is now world champion with Lex Luger being his main adversary. That’s your main event here tonight, as it’s the Foreign Fanatics vs. the All Americans. It’s a five match card that I remember very fondly for some reason.

There are some very good moments here along with some rather stupid ones. It’s an odd time for the company as they’re definitely in a transitional period here, with Yoko and Luger being the two main guys and Bret not far behind them. None of those three are incredibly huge stars at the moment, so this is a weird time for them. We’re back to the traditional Survivor Series formula though, so this should be a bit better than what we had in the very early 90s I guess. Let’s find out.

Before we get the standard intro, we see Vince and Bobby getting ready backstage. Vince says he smells bananas, which scares Bobby because it means Monsoon is around. He and Ross are doing Radio WWF tonight, which is either brilliant or very stupid and I’m not sure which. This would be Bobby’s last PPV before heading to WCW as well. The intro was an odd one with the skeleton of a building and the logo hanging from a crane. I have no idea what this was supposed to be.

Team IRS vs. Team Razor

Razor Ramon, Marty Jannetty, 1-2-3 Kid, Mr. Perfect
IRS, Adam Bomb, Diesel, Rick Martel

So the fourth man was supposed to be Mr. Perfect, but for some reason he’s gone. There are numerous reasons as to why he’s gone, but we’re not sure either way. Some say he was in rehab, some say he left due to steroid issues, some say he was hurt. We’re not sure either way, but he wouldn’t be seen again until Wrestlemania where he was supposed to start a feud with Luger, but he was gone after one appearance.

Anyway, Ramon says he has a substitute that has as much machismo as he does. Heenan says it’s some other punk, but as the music hits Heenan freaks out since it’s Randy Savage. The deal with Savage was that his friend Crush had gotten hurt by Yoko so he turned heel on Savage and beat the living heck out of him. Savage was TICKED and would do anything to get at Crush.

They would eventually have a last man standing match (kind of) at Mania. Crush was supposed to get a massive singles push but for some reason it never came. In the end that was a good thing because he was arrested and went to jail for a few years on weapons charges. Apparently Heenan called this sometime before and Vince says ok, ok you were right for once. FOR ONCE? Dag Heenan was great.

Oh yeah why are these people in this match. Shawn Michaels had been IC Champion but was suspended for failing a steroids test (which he to this day denies). To fill the void we had a battle royal with the last two people in it having a match and the winner of that won the IC belt.

Razor and Martel were your winners and then Razor won the title. Shawn kept his belt though so there were two belts. They were hung above the ring at Wrestlemania 10. You know the rest. As for the other guys, there’s no point to them being there. IRS and Razor had a mini feud that was blown off at the Rumble but that’s it.

Anyway, we start with Razor and Martel and Razor beats the tar out of him. Are you surprised? He tags out to Adam Bomb who I was always a mark for. He and Crush would later become Kronik in WCW. They do a test of strength and since he’s a heel, Bomb cheats. Oddly the bad guy is the face here. Anyway, Razor goes for a cover on Bomb but Martel runs in for a save with an elbow.

It hits Bomb and Harvey is kind of annoyed, so Martel hits him. Now we’ve got a big team brawl and for once, the faces let them fight. I’ve never gotten why they didn’t do that more often. When another team is fighting, why not let them do it and get a breather? Savage, being the only true big star on his team at that point, gets on the ropes and plays to the crowd here. And that is why Savage is better than anyone else in this match and better than most in history.

Old guys know how to get things done like that. See, today, most people have a chance like this and they just stand there. Savage, already getting hugs pops no matter what he does, plays to the crowd to try to get a bigger one. That sticks in people’s heads.

Instead of just sitting around doing nothing, he’s talking to the crowd, and there is nothing a crowd loves more than being acknowledged and being considered a small part of the match. It makes them feel special and the more a wrestler does that for them, the bigger star they’ll become.

Anyway, even Heenan acknowledges that this team might not work. Oh great it’s the 1-2-3 Kid against Adam Bomb. He might kill him. GO BOMB! Now Diesel gets to beat on him a bit. I’ve always liked Diesel. Savage gets tagged in to a huge pop. Heenan dubs him Captain Schizo. That’s just humorous. He beats up the heel team by himself, capping it off by slamming Diesel and hitting the elbow to pin him for the first elimination.

Vince says that this match has been confusing. Why is that? It’s been very simple to me at least. In a weird sequence, Savage uses a bunch of left handed clotheslines. That just looked odd. Heenan asks if Vince has ever cheated anybody. Vince says of course not. That needs no jokes whatsoever. At this point, Marty still hasn’t been in yet. Must be a bad coke attack or something. IRS and Martel switch while the referee is with Savage. Of course it is allowed.

Heenan asks if Vince wants to be WWF President. Why take the second best job? This has been pretty solid so far. As Savage is beating the tar out of IRS, Crush comes out. Savage hits the floor immediately and goes after him. While he’s distracted, IRS rolls up Savage to pin him. Crush leaves and Savage chases him off. He goes into the back and we stay with Savage for THIRTY SECONDS.

Dude, you know there is that pesky little match going on out in the ring? You might want to take a look at it. I guess not. I know it doesn’t sound long, but missing thirty seconds of a match is a long time. Think about it like this: Hogan picked up Andre and pinned him inside of 30 seconds. Yeah that’s not important though. We’re back now with Bomb against Jannetty. A Razor’s Edge takes out IRS. For those of you keeping score, it’s Jannetty, Kid and Razor against Martel and Bomb.

We get a big brawl as Razor goes for another Edge, but IRS hits Razor in the ribs with the briefcase. He gets counted out as a result. We now get Kid against Martel, and naturally Kid gets a lot better against a smaller guy. Apparently you beat him by putting out some cookies and milk. He’ll run out and you beat him. Heenan is so brilliant it’s unbelievable. Now it’s standard heel dominance with the faces looking for the hot tag.

That’s very basic but very good at the same time. Jannetty comes in finally and beats up Martel for awhile and then tags in Kid, which makes limited sense but I’m no drug addled professional. Kid pins Martel with a sunset flip and then Marty gets Bomb with one as well about 12 seconds later to win it. That was a fun finish.

Rating: B. This was a fun match. It’s not great, but it’s entertaining and it made sense. The faces won with quickness over the power team and Savage dominated. Also Razor, the singles champion in there, saved face and set up a bigger feud with IRS. That is what these things are supposed to do. Overall, this was fun and it worked quite well, making it a very good opener and a good sign for this show.

Todd is with Shawn, who says he’s the real IC Champion and then he insults Bret and his family. This is miles better than last year as he’s finally got the Heart Break Kid character down. We go to an interview with the Harts from earlier in the day. Ray Combs, a game show host, is the special celebrity here doing the interview.

He’s far less annoying than the majority of these people. For some reason Stu is wearing a Detroit Pistons jacket for no apparent reason here as the show is in Boston. That’s just odd. Shawn says he’ll take out Stu if he gets in the way. Remember that line.

Before we go to the ring, we have a short interview with the winners of the previous match, minus Macho.

Hart Family vs. Shawn/Knights

Bret, Keith, Bruce, Owen
Shawn Michaels, Blue Knight (Greg Valentine), Red Knight (Barry Horowitz), Black Knight (Jeff Gaylord/Glenn Jacobs)

We’re actually not sure who the Black Knight is. If it’s Jacobs, that’s Kane. If it’s not, then this is his career highlight. This was supposed to be Jerry Lawler, but he was up on rape charges (the girl admitted she made the whole thing up), so they threw Shawn in and tried to make it based on the match from last year, which is at least an attempt at a story. Combs does the introductions here, and is ok I guess.

He does some standard jokes about HBK, but this goes on WAY too long and the fans just aren’t interested. It’s not as bad as Kid Rock at Mania, but it’s pretty bad. It goes on about 5 minutes, which is FAR too long for this. We’re at 10 minutes for the intros alone. This is just stupid. Bret is wearing pink. Only he can pull that off. Combs does commentary for the match as well. Heenan is in top form here insulting the Harts.

Monsoon reminds me of my uncle for some reason. We start out with Bruce, so you can tell what this is going to be. He’s a history teacher. Oh dear. Keith, the fireman, comes in. This cracks Heenan up. We see the problem here very easily: the two unknown Hart aren’t very good. All they know how to do is an armbar here and there. It’s just rather boring. Seriously, were Neidhart and Bulldog not available? They would be about a million times better here.

Heenan keeps talking about how Owen is in the shadow of Bret. That would turn into one of the best heel turns I can ever remember. Black Knight in now and Owen kicks his teeth in too. Now we have Bret against the Blue Guy. Heenan keeps teasing that he knows who the Knights are. When asked about the Blue Knight, he says that he’s either the Blue Knight or Bob Barker. This is being written two days after Barker hosted Raw, so that cracked me.

Why are the two unknown brothers wrestling most of this match? Seriously, that’s just stupid. The commentary is by far and away the best part of this match. Combs is pretty good actually. Granted he has no clue what’s going on, but his timing and enthusiasm are there. That’s all I ask: at least pretend you want to be there. Check out Pamela Anderson at the 95 Rumble. She hates the whole thing and is there for a paycheck. I have no interest in celebrities like that, no matter what they look like.

We get a big brawl and the Black Knight is pinned by a top rope dropkick from Owen. Ray thinks it’s over, and I have no issue with that because he’s energetic. He genuinely seems like he wants to be there, and I’m fine with him being a bit off if that’s the case. I’ve never gotten the point of them mentioning that a show is live when we’re watching it. It’s like a commercial for the show you’re watching. You’ve already hooked us, so we don’t need it again.

Vince: Bobby Heenan, you’re a bad man. That sums it up perfectly I’d say. Heenan reminds Vince that this is Survivor Series and Vince says he knows what it is. I wonder if he wanted to say “I know what it is, I invented it you fat blowhard!” Ok, now Keith has been in there forever, and we’re back to the stupid part. He’s been in there like 5 minutes and it’s been all arm work. Why not instead use one of the best sellers of all time?

Oh yeah because it would make SENSE! Heenan makes another great point: the Harts don’t look alike. He’s very right actually. Make that seven minutes. FINALLY a missed Rocket Launcher and Bret gets in to breathe some life into this thing. Red Knight is tapping in about 10 seconds and it’s 4-2. Bret is knocked to the floor and Keith goes over to check him. That makes sense since he’s been beaten on for about 8 minutes and is more or less one armed at this point.

I guess Owen and Bruce were busy? On the floor Stu is trying to rub his arm back into socket, which for once makes sense from a manager. Heenan gets in my favorite line of the match: “Hey, you wanna know who the Blue Knight is?” Vince says he would like to. “He’s the guy in the ring that just dropped an elbow on Bret Hart.” Vince walked right into that one.

FINALLY we have Bret vs. Shawn, 18 minutes into the freaking match. Yep this just makes so much sense. That’s the theme of this match: how much sense can we make? Heenan makes an America’s Most Wanted reference. Combs says Bobby could star on America’s Most Unwanted. We have a rival for Heenan. Shawn does indeed go after Stu, and he gets POPPED. I don’t mean some love tap, I mean Stu smacks the taste out of Shawn and the crowd is into this all of a sudden.

That was awesome and makes up for the rest of this match. Shawn sells it at an amazing level of course since that’s what he does. That was great. Even Heenan kisses up to Stu for a bit. That’s all the proof you need right there. Owen Sharpshooter ends the Knights and it’s 4-1. Immediately, Shawn hits a big kick on Bruce, which is now known as Sweet Chin Music. However, here it doesn’t work.

Wow, Bruce has a tougher chin than Bret. Maybe we had the wrong Hart all along. Bret comes in and beats on him but gets poked in the eye. He tags Owen but walks on the apron for no apparent reason. Shawn sends Owen into the ropes and therefore into Bret who knocks down the railing. Owen is concerned and rolls Shawn up to make it 3-1. The Harts beat on Shawn for awhile after Owen is FREAKING out on him.

They beat Shawn up really badly as Stu tries to calm him down. I have never gotten what Owen’s problem was here. He got pinned. His team still won, and it was his fault that he hit Bret. He didn’t have to look down at him. Anyway, Shawn bails and the celebration is on. Owen comes back and yells at the Harts who leave without them.

This was the beginning of the Owen heel turn, which was excellent on so many levels, with the biggest one ever being Owen pinning Bret clean in the best opening match of all time at Wrestlemania 10. The feud would continue at the Rumble, with Bret trying to get Owen his first championship by teaming up with him to fight for the tag titles.

Bret wrestled with a knee injury and they actually stopped the match for it. Owen was ticked and beat Bret up for it, which was the first time I agreed with a heel. It was Bret’s fault, not Owen’s. Oh yeah this match is over by the way. I’m just rambling on.

Rating: D+. This was just flat out BORING. It’s about 75% armbar. It’s a Chris Jericho joke apparently. Keith and Bruce were just flat out boring out there with no real offense at all, which is fine in that they hadn’t wrestled in years. That brings the question: WHY HAVE THEM? Seriously, all of the Harts are wrestlers. Were they all retired? Honestly, Neidhart at least would have made sense here. He’s a half brother and more importantly: HE WAS PASSABLE IN THE RING.

There’s history with him and Bret, and while he would play a role later in the angle, that wasn’t for almost a year. Seriously, they could have fit him in with him siding with Owen over this part of the feud. I don’t get it at all. Anyway, the match was just boring and it didn’t work that well. Shawn vs. Bret was good, but that’s all there was worth watching.

Gorilla and Ross are on commentary now.

We now get a random recap of the main event, despite there being two matches before that. Tatanka, who was undefeated for about two years got beaten up by Borga and Yoko to knock him out. He got replaced by a certain someone that I’ll get to at the time of the match.

To retaliate, Luger eliminated Pierre, which is somehow dumber than Luger is, so there we are. Pierre got replaced by Crush, which makes even less sense since he’s an American and was injured by the heels in the first place, but then again I’m no professional.

Smokey Mountain Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies

Now this is a real headscratcher for about 10 reasons. Where to begin? Let’s see. For one thing, the Smokey Mountains are nowhere NEAR Boston. Second, what is Vince getting out of this? Cornette I suppose. Third, why aren’t we seeing the WWF Tag Titles defended here? Fourth, it’s freaking SMW. That just makes no sense. Fifth, why are Ross and Gorilla doing the commentary here?

Anyway, this is a very old school style match with the standard Midnights vs. RNRE formula: faces dominate early, heels take over and beat on Morton FOREVER until the hot tag and the very fast paced stuff from the Express and then the finish. Yeah I know that’s not much to go on, but it’s the generic yet great formula from the RNRE that made them and the Midnights the best act in the world. If you like modern tag wrestling, those four are who you have to thank for it.

It’s a very solid match of course, but it would have been perfect if it was Lane and Condrey or Eaton over there instead. The Bodies were a team that the WWF tried to make cool but they just never could pull it off. SMW was Cornette’s big attempt at running his own company and he did pretty well considering what he was up against. For one thing, wrestling was just bad when he tried to do it, but it ran nearly five years and he did pretty well with what he had.

Heck he’s got matches on Survivor Series. Anyway, this was the big feud in SMW, and while there it was the feud of the promotion, here’s it’s four guys that no one knows wrestling, and that’s the problem. No one knows these people and for the most part, no one cares. Boston has always been a WWF town, so this old school mentality and style is lost on them.

It’s a great match, but they just don’t get it and a big part of that is due to the wrestlers. It’s like Japanese wrestlers in America. If the people don’t get it, they’re not going to care. Anyway, after about 15 minutes, Cornette hits Gibson with the racket to give the Bodies the belts. Yeah that’s about it.

Rating: B. This was good, but like I said, the lack of anything close to recognition really hurt this one. The match is great, but most people that aren’t old school fans won’t like it. That hurt here too as the crowd only popped for big spots, which is fine for the most part, but they just sounded bored. That’s not fine.

The faces say that they’ll win tonight.

Four Doinks vs. Headshrinkers/Bastian Booger/Bam Bam Bigelow

Oh this isn’t going to be pleasant is it? The Four Doinks are Men on a Mission and the Bushwakers instead of you know, Doink and three other guys. Yeah that’s what we’re dealing with here. Doink is injured so we get these four. I have no idea which one is the most talented. Actually I don’t think any of them have talent so we’ll skip that part. Oh boy this is going to suck badly. Oh look it’s a comedy match. The Bushwackers have balloons.

Ooo good boy Samu bite them! Wait, what? He bit a balloon with water in it and it surprised him, leading to him getting rolled up. Ok, reasons why this is stupid. He’s a freaking savage and he’s scared of water? Second, couldn’t he see the water or feel the balloon actually weighing something? Booger comes in and beats on the faces for awhile and….there’s a banana peel in the ring. I’m pausing now to take some deep breaths.

There is no way that could happen is there? They couldn’t actually be planning on doing what I think they’re planning on doing could they? Someone tell me that’s not what they’re planning to do. I need to hear someone say it. Ok thank goodness: Booger just got pinned by a big splash instead.

That’s at least reasonable coming from the big fat tub of goo known as Mable. And Fatu just slipped on the banana and got pinned. That does it. Screw this. I have better things to do with my time than review a circus. Keep laughing Vince. I won’t be able to hear you.

Rating: N/A. I review wrestling. This wasn’t wrestling.

Cornette and the heel team have something to say. Cornette cuts perhaps the best promo I’ve ever heard him cut as he talks about the Foreign Fanatics’ strategy for tonight. He says that they see the face team as one man because they’re a unit. The Steiners are the heart of the team. If you take away a man’s heart, he has no energy or desire to do anything. The Undertaker is the mind of the team.

If you take away a man’s mind, he’s dazed and confused. Luger is the soul of the team. And if you take away a man’s soul, then you’ve defeated him. And that my friends, is why Jim Cornette is one of the best talkers of all time. Oh and Johnny “Raven” Polo is in the background. Dang talk about a character change. He would be Raven in less than a year.

Vince decides to give a clichéd history themed intro to this match. Yeah this is dumb.

Foreign Fanatics vs. All Americans

All Americans: Luger, Steiners, Undertaker
Foreign Fanatics: Yokozuna, Ludvig Borga, Crush, Jacques Quebecer (yes that’s what they call him)

First of all, since I love it so much, here’s the way the All Americans replaced Tatanka.

No real reason for that. I just really like it. Anyway, onto the match itself. After about 8 minutes of introductions (my least favorite part of these shows), we’re ready to go. Borga comes out to Nikolai Volkoff’s music. That might be the other way around. I’m not sure. In case I haven’t explained, the feuds were supposed to be Luger vs. Yoko, Tatanka vs. Borga and Steiners vs. Quebecers, which at least makes sense.

Due to either injuries or Vince being really high one night, this is what we’ve got instead. Heenan sees a sign that says Yokotuna. I’ve been calling him that for years and have never been able to figure out where I got it from. Now I have my answer. I knew there was a point to me watching this all over again. We start with more stalling as no two want to start. Scott and Pierre finally start us off. The heels have Fuji, Polo and Cornette at ringside.

In other words we have WWF, NWA and ECW out there. Well no one can say they didn’t incorporate everyone. Pierre offers a handshake and Scott gives the screw you sign. Yep Scott is a great role model. Yoko is world champion here which is pointed out as he comes in. Rick manages to knock him to the floor which is actually surprising. Ludvig comes in now and Rick manages to beat him up. Naturally since Rick is doing well, he gets eliminated about 20 seconds later.

Upon further review though, I think this was a legit injury. He hits a top rope shoulder block and Borga just kind of flips him over and pins him. You can tell Vince is surprised too. Yeah he’s limping out after nothing was done to his lower body so I’m thinking he pulled something.

In the main event with a guy dominating even the WWF isn’t dumb enough to get rid of him after just five minutes. Yeah that was a legit injury. It was WAY too fast to have been planned that way. Given the stalling now to buy time for Rick to get out of there, yeah I’m convinced this is an injury. Just to reiterate: I think it was a legit injury.

Scott hits a pretty nice double underhook suplex on Crush. We get word that Savage is back in the building. Is that really surprising? He was there earlier, so why would it be odd that he’s back? Yep here he comes. While this is happening, Crush picks up Scott and just drops him over the top rope. That was sick. They get Savage out and say he’s out of the building. I’ll be checking my watch now to see how long it takes him to get back. My bet is three minutes.

Heenan talks about how Fuji has turned Crush into a heel and that he can see some gold in his future. That likely would have happened had it not been for…some unknown reason. Initially he was supposed to have Luger’s role but I guess they thought Crush wasn’t ready or something and this is what you got instead. Dang it was only two minutes. Scott (called the Steiner) sends him to the floor and Crush goes after Savage.

This gets him counted out as the crowd is completely insane for this. This was begging for a big time cage match. Why in the world Savage was turned into a big bunch of nothing instead of the top face is beyond me. He clearly was still able to go as he would be winning world titles nearly seven years after this and he was WAY over, but I guess he was hanging out with Stephanie too much around this time and if you don’t get that reference, look it up.

Now it’s Pierre vs. Scott as Luger or Taker haven’t been in yet. Pierre gets a three by mistake but they say it was a two which anyone that can see or hear could tell you was incorrect. Vince keeps calling them the Quebecer and the Steiner. Luger finally comes in and an elbow from the second rope puts Pierre out. It’s 3-2 now if you’re keeping score. We get word that Savage has been throw out again and just as I’m getting ready to type it, Heenan asks how he keeps getting in. Is he Batman?

He suggests that Savage hangs out in the rafters. No Bobby that wouldn’t be for about 4 more years. Steiner and Borga have a decent battle as there is still no Taker in this match, which I guess makes something close to sense: save your big gun for the end. Steiner wants to try the Frankensteiner. Yeah that was just freaking stupid. He gets hit by a massive leg drop to end him and make it 2-2.

Luger and Yoko start with the rematch from Summerslam. The idea is that Luger isn’t allowed to have a rematch no matter what. Eventually he gets a rematch if he can win the Rumble, which he ties in. That could have been a great story if he ever actually won the title. It became like Jeff Hardy for awhile, but the difference was that Jeff finally won the freaking belt and gave us the awesome moment.

Luger never had that moment and it made the rest look bad by comparison. Heenan is asked where he gets his material and he says open your eyes. That’s just odd. After Yoko misses a splash, Luger makes the big tag to Taker and the fans are FREAKING OUT. A swinging DDT nearly kills Yoko and Borga nails him to try to break the momentum. Taker turns and just smacks him as if to say boy please I’m the dead man.

The big belly to belly gets nothing as Taker sits up to another huge pop. If you want to know one of the biggest reasons for why Taker got over, it’s called Bobby Heenan. He was awesome with putting him over. Yoko hits the Banzai then goes for a second and Taker sits up again. It’s just awesome all around as even Heenan can’t talk. Think about that for a second.

They fight to the floor, which is to say Taker beats on him for a bit longer as we get the inevitable double count out and we have our Royal Rumble main event. So it’s now one on one and I think you know the drill. It’s more or less a six minute match with the usual interference and the forearm ends it.

Yeah there’s nothing more to say about this. Just like last year, it starts to snow and freaking Santa Claus comes out. I have never gotten what they were going for with this and I think this was the last time that they did it which is likely a good thing.

Rating: C-. It was long and rather dull, but it did what it was supposed to do in advancing the stories. Luger beats Borga clean and Taker vs. Yoko is set. Also the fans went home happy and Luger looks big and invincible again so I can’t really complain. It could have been better but it certainly could have been worse so we’ll say it’s just below average.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s some good and some awful on here, so we’ll say it balances out. Some people would love this and some would hate it. I thought it was ok, but the comedy match was just a disgrace and the main event was just ok. The first match and the tag match were solid enough though.

There are definitely moments here where you’ll be bored out of your mind but there are moments where you’ll be entertained, which I think slightly outweigh the bad. That’s good enough for a mild recommendation I guess. It’s nothing special and it’s not horrible I suppose, but don’t expect to be blown away.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Bound For Glory 2020: They Still Need To Work On That

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Bound For Glory 2020
Date: October 24, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

It’s the biggest night of the year, or at least it is on paper. Bound For Glory has long since been the top show in the company, though Slammiversary tends to be more fun. Maybe they can change things around a bit this year, though the card isn’t giving me the best vibes. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Deaners vs. Rascalz

Dez and Wentz for the Rascalz. The Deaners start with the double teaming but Wentz fights out and hits a handspring knee to Cody’s face. Jake throws Dez at Wentz to cut that off but Jake’s dive is cut off with a kick to the head. Back in and Dez catches Cody on top but Jake powerbombs both Rascalz down. A Swan dive gives Cody two with Wentz making the save so it’s time for the rapid fire kicks to Jake. The toss moonsault hits knees though and it’s T2G (whatever that means) to finish Dez at 3:36.

Rating: C-. Just a quick opener here to get some people in the ring and that’s perfectly fine. The match didn’t go anywhere because it wasn’t even four minutes long, but at the same time, I don’t get the Deaners. They’re fine for a gimmick comedy (work with me here) team but over the Rascalz? Really?

The opening video is an extended version of the same Eric Young vignette that has played for months. He promises to end Rich Swann.

X-Division Title: Willie Mack vs. TJP vs. Jordynne Grace vs. Chris Bey vs. Trey Miguel vs. Rohit Raju

Raju is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. The champ tries to walk at the bell but gets thrown back in, only to have Mack clothesline TJP by mistake. Grace and Mack are sent into each other, meaning TJP and Bey can argue over who gets to beat up Raju. Bey and TJP slug it out and trade takedowns as Callis brags about how many languages he can (allegedly) speak. Trey is back in with a dropkick to Bey’s back, followed by a low superkick for two.

Mack takes Bey’s place for some flipping before sending Trey outside with a flying shoulder. Grace shoulders Mack down for two but he slams her without much hesitation. It’s TJP coming back in to tie up Mack’s legs, plus Trey’s at the same time. For a bonus, it’s a chancery on Raju and a headlock on Grace. See, it was cool when he did this once on Impact, but when he does it over and over, it stops being cool or clever and becomes obviously staged, which isn’t usually a good idea.

Grace breaks it up and chokes TJP until Raju comes back in to take over on everyone. Raju takes Grace down and shouts EQUALITY before knocking Miguel off the apron. A suplex gets two on Grace (Raju: “She’s got some spunk doesn’t she?”) but Mack is back in to run Raju over. Now it’s Mack getting to clean house until he and Raju are left in the ring. Everyone else gets on the apron and starts beating up Raju until Mack hits the Samoan drop into the standing moonsault.

That’s broken up by everyone else and it’s Grace diving onto Raju and TJP. Mack dives onto all three of them and Bey dropkicks Trey off of TJP’s shoulders….well into the general vicinity of the pile. Bey hits a good looking no hands dive onto a bunch of people but it’s Raju rolling up TJP for two. TJP’s crucifix bomb gets the same with Grace making another save, only to get tied in the Tree of Woe.

Everyone goes to the corner so Grace pulls herself up for the Tower of Doom. She’s still tied up though so Raju hits an Alberto double stomp for two as Mack makes his own save. It’s time for the parade of finishers until Grace has to break up the kneebar on Raju, setting up the Grace Driver for two on TJP. Grace is sent onto Mack and Bey, leaving Trey to splash TJP. That means Raju can come back in with a running knee though and steal the pin on TJP to retain at 13:20.

Rating: B-. It’s the kind of insanity that you expect from the X-Division and therefore it was entertaining, but at the same time, it’s still the junk food match that you have grown to know from these people. I’d still like to see a one on one match for the title, but Raju being the kind of champion who escapes with the title makes this fit more. This is like checking off a box at Bound For Glory, so at least they covered it.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

The wedding party is still having issues and the wedding is going to have to be in the ring. Most of them are off for the Call Your Shot gauntlet though.

Heath and Rhino are ready for the Call Your Shot. The previous segment heard Josh asking for help with audio issues and this one had a director counting them in. Tighten that stuff up already people. It’s only been ten plus years of issues.

We run down the Call Your Shot gauntlet. It’s a Royal Rumble with twenty entrants and then we have a singles match at the end. If Rhino or Heath win, Heath has a contract but if neither of them win, Rhino loses his contract.

Call Your Shot Gauntlet Match

Rhino is in at #1 and Daivari (who is RIPPED), making a return to the company, is in at #2 with one minute intervals. The threat of an early Gore sends Daivari bailing to the floor with Rhino following him to start the brawling. Daivari sends Rhino head first into the announcers’ table and it’s Larry D. in at #3 (after two minutes). A splash crushes Rhino and they both try to get him out as it’s back to the regular one minute interval so Crazzy Steve can come in at #4.

Steve goes after Larry with some right hands and biting to the head until Daivari makes a save. It’s Acey Romero in at #5 and a double standing splash crushes Steve but he isn’t eliminated yet. Tenille Dashwood (with Kaleb With A K) is in at #6 and her entrance takes so long that Havok (also with a K) is in at #7 before Dashwood can do anything. Havok headscissors Romero down and Kaleb With A K gets powerbombed. Brian Myers is in at #8 as the entrances are going really fast. Myers gets rid of Steve and it’s Swoggle in at #9 for his required appearance.

Myers and Swoggle team up to get rid of Daivari before Myers tosses Swoggle for a bonus. Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 and this week’s tribute is Road Warrior Animal (to be fair, the shirt is for sale for charity). Therefore, Dreamer sits down and puts Myers on his shoulders so Swoggle can come back in and play Hawk (off the middle rope that is) on a mini Doomsday Device. Alisha Edwards is in at #11 and Dreamer is thrown out. Myers gets rid of Edwards as well and Kiera Hogan, with Tasha Steelz is in at #12.

Dashwood stops for a picture with Myers and is thrown out as well. At least they’re keeping the ring clear, as they should. Hogan stomps Havok down in the corner and it’s Taya Valkyrie, with Rosemary and John E. Bravo, in at #13. Taya chops at XXXL, who crash into each other (because they’re not that bright), setting up the double hip attack in the corner. Fallah Bahh, with Hernandez’s money because banks aren’t a thing, is in at #14 and Havok shoves Hogan out, only to get tossed by Taya.

XXXL gets rid of Taya and it’s James Storm in at #15. House is cleaned and it’s a Last Call to get rid of Larry D. Storm can’t slam Romero and it’s Adam Thornstowe in at #16. That goes nowhere so it’s Luster the Legend in at #17. Reno Scum double teams Storm and it’s Heath in at #18. A neckbreaker drops Myers and there’s a jumping knee to Luster, with Heath tearing either his groin or abdomen in the process. Heath is clearly in pain as he slugs it out with Acey and clotheslines him out. Myers is tossed as well and it’s Sami Callihan in at #19.

With no one else being eliminated, it’s Hernandez in at #20 to complete the field. That gives us a final grouping of Rhino, Bahh, Storm, Thornstowe, Luster, Heath, Sami and Hernandez. Bahh gets caught in the corner with Hernandez going for the money and throwing it to the floor, with Bahh being eliminated as he gets it back. Hernandez goes after Bahh, followed by Thornstowe and Luster going out to get us down to four.

Sami superkicks Storm out as he tries to skin the cat and gets rid of Heath (Sami: “I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR KIDS!”). We’re down to Rhino vs. Sami, which is now a regular match. Sami rakes his eyes and the Cactus Special gets a quick two. A chair is brought in but the referee tells Sami to put it down. Sami actually does, allowing Rhino to hit the Gore for the pin at 26:24.

Rating: C+. Not a great match or anything, but they had the logical ending (Heath winning had he stayed healthy wouldn’t have shocked me) and a few nice surprises. I could go for more of Storm being around as he’s a legend around here, though I’m almost scared to imagine what they would do with him. They kept this moving too, which is always a major plus for something like this. Good enough stuff here and they didn’t do anything stupid, so well done.

Rhino gets a trophy for the win.

The North say their backs are against the wall but that’s where champions shine. They’re ready for all of the teams they’re facing tonight because they’re that good. It has been 94 days since they have had the gold and tonight they are going back onto their throne.

We recap Moose vs. EC3 for the TNA World Title. EC3 returned and took the title with the intention of destroying it to control his narrative. I’m still not sure what that means, but the promos have been intense enough to make up for it. Moose got the belt back but has to defeat EC3 at an undisclosed location.

TNA World Title: Moose vs. EC3

Moose is defending (I think?) and they’re in a warehouse. There’s no EC3 to start but he pops up with his hood over his head for dramatic effect. We’re in cinematic mode as they slug it out with Moose hitting a Rock Bottom. EC3 is right back with an exploder suplex and some stomping in the corner but Moose kicks him low. Moose asks if he can see the picture and sends him into the corner as the music changes. More right hands have EC3 busted open and Moose grabs a chair from the floor.

Back in and EC3 sweeps the legs to hammer away as the music changes again. They head outside with EC3 talking about meaning and purpose before throwing him into the barricade. Back in and EC3 talks about how Moose has let people take things from him. The title means everything and Moose needs to become who he is supposed to be. EC3 loads up the One Percenter on the title (with a quick highlight reel of the move playing) but Moose shoves him off and hits No Jackhammer Needed.

Moose hits him with the title, asks if this is what EC3 wants, hits him with it again, hits him with it a third time, waits for the package on their feud to play, and hammers away even more. EC3 is done so Moose picks him up and asks if this is what he wants. EC3: “YES!” The people around the ring start the MOOSE chant and EC3 tells him to control his narrative. Moose says thank you and hits one more belt shot. That’s enough for Moose to leave and EC3’s followers carry him out at we’ll say 9:50.

Rating: C-. I’m sure there’s some kind of a deeper meaning here and that’s all well and good, but the Control Your Narrative thing seems to be the kind of thing that makes sense to EC3 and not much else. The action was fine but I really don’t need to see a cinematic match again, especially when it isn’t quite the most thrilling feud in the first place. It was fine, but hopefully this is it between them, assuming EC3 is even sticking around.

We look back at the Rock inducting Ken Shamrock into the Hall of Fame. One might think they would advertise this a little more in advance but that’s not what we do around here. There is also no mention of Bret Hart or Mick Foley sending in comments, which aren’t on the company’s YouTube page yet either unless I’ve missed them.

We recap Ken Shamrock vs. Eddie Edwards. Shamrock and Sami Callihan are a thing now and Sami has made Shamrock into his old self again, meaning a violent heel turn.

Ken Shamrock vs. Eddie Edwards

Sami Callihan is here with Shamrock. They circle each other to start and it’s Shamrock hammering away in the corner. A knee to the face drops Eddie again and Shamrock takes his back on the mat. Shamrock traps the arm and gets in some shots to the back of the head. Eddie can’t roll out so it’s a chinlock to keep him in trouble. A rope is grabbed so Shamrock takes him down by the leg again, sending Eddie straight back to the rope.

Back up and Shamrock punches him out to the floor, meaning it’s time for the hard kicks. Eddie gets back in and it’s a running knee in the corner as this has been all Shamrock so far. Eddie finally hits a Blue Thunder Bomb for a breather but can’t even cover. It’s time to start cranking on Shamrock’s leg and Eddie sends him throat first into the bottom rope. Eddie’s dive hits Shamrock and Callihan, followed by a missile dropkick for two back inside.

The tiger bomb gets two but Shamrock grabs the arm, with Eddie having to stack him up for the break. The Backpack Stunner connects but Eddie has to headbutt his way out of a rear naked choke. Eddie hits the Boston Knee Party but goes with a half crab instead of covering. Sami makes the lights go out though and they come back up with Sami, with the bat, in the ring. Eddie gets rid of him with the kendo stick but walks into a belly to belly from Shamrock. The ankle lock makes Eddie tap at 12:32.

Rating: C+. This took its time to start but grew on me, even if it was very similar to a Brock Lesnar style WWE match, albeit with smaller people. Shamrock plays the monster well, especially with the MMA style offense. This was a good match and I can live with Shamrock winning on his Hall of Fame weekend, though I’m not sure where these two go from here.

We recap the Tag Team Title match. The North held the titles for over a year but then the Motor City Machine Guns returned and won the titles. The Good Brothers showed up and got their title shot with pure star power, while Ace Austin and Madman Fulton are just kind of here too to make it a four way.

Tag Team Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. The North vs. Ace Austin/Madman Fulton vs. Good Brothers

The Guns are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Hold on though as the North jumps Alex Shelley on the way to the ring and Alexander gives him a Jay Driller on the stage. That means something around here so Sabin is fighting on his own here (though they don’t even bother getting Shelley a stretcher). Sabin tries to fight the North on his own but walks into a dropkick from Page to cut him down in a hurry. A dropkick to Page’s knee slows him down and Austin tags himself in to start taking over on Sabin.

Fulton hammers away as well but Alexander tags himself in and hits a running clothesline as it’s back to Page, with Sabin taking quite the early beating. A knee to the face lets Page get in an arrogant two but Alexander misses a moonsault. Fulton brings himself back in and sends Sabin hard into the corner again. A middle rope legdrop into a splash gets two on Sabin and there’s a delayed suplex slam. Sabin finally takes Austin down though and there’s a rolling DDT to Fulton.

Austin spends too much time checking on Fulton, allowing Sabin to bring in Anderson to clean house. The spinebuster plants Austin and Gallows comes in for the belly to back neckbreaker for two. We get the big showdown between Gallows and Fulton and they fight out to the floor. Sabin comes back in for some forearms to Anderson, but Austin gets the tag again.

Everything stays broken down and Sabin hits a running flip dive from the apron to take Alexander down. The Cradle Shock gets two on Austin with Page making the save. The North slam Sabin off the top, setting up the double spinebuster for two more. Sabin breaks up the Northern Assault and brings in Anderson as everything breaks down again. Austin hits a springboard spinning kick to Gallows’ head and a running dropkick puts him on the floor.

Austin winds up on Fulton’s shoulders but the North hammer on Fulton to bring him down to his knees. More strikes to the face drop Austin as well but Alexander has to escape the Magic Killer. The Gun Stun is blocked as well and Page hits Anderson with the belt for the pin and the titles at 14:28.

Rating: C+. Another good enough match and I can’t say I’m stunned at the Canadians getting the titles back on the show where Don Callis runs things (no I’m not serious). The North winning is a little surprising but you can almost guarantee that the Good Brothers are getting the titles sooner rather than later. Shelley being out isn’t good, but it is kind of nice to see one less person out there. Mostly insane here and there are only so many stories that can be told in something like this, but the action was good enough and that’s all it needed to be.

Rosemary and John E. Bravo apologize for not helping Taya win earlier but it’s cool because it’s wedding time. Havok comes in and it’s time to bring James Mitchell back. Taya doesn’t think much of Bravo but he said he wears the pants in the relationship and can do this himself.

We recap Kylie Rae vs. Deonna Purrazzo. Rae thinks Purrazzo is out to get her for some reason and Purrazzo thinks Rae isn’t serious enough. Rae has been #1 contender for months and it’s finally time for her title shot.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Kylie Rae

Rae is challenging…or at least she would be if she was here. Purrazzo, with Kimber Lee, laughs off Rae not being here and issues the open challenge. This is a little disturbing as Rae legitimately no showed the event and it isn’t clear why or where she is. She was in Nashville the day before, but never came to the show. Hopefully everything winds up being ok, but that’s a scary situation. Anyway, we now have a replacement.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Su Yung

Su is challenging, Kimber Lee is here with Purrazzo, and Madison Rayne joins commentary. Yung crawls around to start and then hammers away in the corner. Some stomping puts Purrazzo on the apron for a slugout, capped off by a side slam onto the apron. Back in and they roll around for some near falls, followed by a hurricanrana out of the corner for two. Purrazzo finally gets in a shot to the face and starts in on the arm, as is her custom.

The arm is wrapped around the rope as Madison teases getting back in the ring to face Purrazzo. Something like a Koji Clutch has Yung in trouble and Purrazzo stomps on the arm to keep her down. The running knee drop misses but Purrazzo ties her up in the ropes for a baseball slide (that’s a new one) to the floor. Back in and a release German suplex sends Yung flying but she’s right back with a DDT for the double knockdown.

They get back up to slug it out with Yung getting the better of things without much effort. A running splash in the corner puts Purrazzo on the floor for a breather so Yung sends her shoulder first into the post. Yung puts her in a chair for a dive off the apron, followed by a Pedigree for two back inside. It’s time for the bloody glove but the referee gets bumped. Yung plants Purrazzo for no cover, as Lee comes in with a quick chair shot to Yung’s back.

Instead of covering, Purrazzo loads up the Pillmanizing on the arm, only to get caught in the Mandible Claw. The red mist gets rid of Lee but Purrazzo gets her down into the Fujiwara armbar. That’s countered into the Claw again but Purrazzo breaks that up as well. A Stunner into the Panic gives Yung the title back at 15:05.

Rating: B-. They almost had to switch the title with the surprise change of pace and they got the ending right enough. The last few minutes had a few too many shenanigans though and it hurt things a bit. What we got worked well enough though and Yung getting the title back is fine, even if Purrazzo gets it back pretty soon. Hopefully Rae is ok though, because that’s more important than anything else.

The Knockouts Tag Team Titles are coming back and the next champions will be crowned at Hard To Kill on January 16.

We recap Eric Young vs. Rich Swann for the World Title. Swann eliminated him from the World Title match at Slammiversary, then Young injured Swann’s knee. Then he injured Swann’s knee again and injured Swann’s knee again. Now it’s title time.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Eric Young vs. Rich Swann

Swann is challenging and has to dive over Young’s lunge for his legs. The second attempt works but Swann kicks him away and snaps off a headscissors. A dropkick puts Young on the floor and we take a bit of a breather. Swann sends him chest first into the post and Young takes another breather on the ramp. Back in and Swann knocks him outside again, setting up a flip dive off the apron. Young finally drops him onto the apron though and pulls on the neck a bit outside.

Back in and Swann hits what looks like a super Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog….and Young covers him for two instead. Ok then. There’s a twist of the neck and a running clothesline gives Young two. We hit the neck crank, followed by another clothesline with Young telling Swann to GO AWAY. A neckbreaker gets two and the neck gets bent around the top rope. Young gets two off a Death Valley Driver as he’s certainly mixing up the neck work.

There’s a right hand in the corner and Young tells him to stay down (again). Some more forearms to the face fire Swann up and he unloads on Young for a change. Young goes up top but gets tossed back down and they’re both on the mat for a bit. A super hurricanrana sets up a frog splash for two on Young but he bites his way out of something else on top. Young’s top rope elbow to the back sets up a Crossface to pull on the neck even more but Swann makes the rope.

Another slugout goes to Swann until Young catches him with a torture rack neckbreaker for two. Something close to a Figure Four sends Swann to the ropes again and he kicks Young in the head. The running Phoenix splash gets two on Young but he catches Swann in the Tree of Woe. Swann manages to pull himself up for a cutter out of the corner into a Lethal Injection. The phoenix splash gives Swann the pin and the title at 21:33.

Rating: B. It’s a good match and the neck work went well, plus Swann wining the title is a plus, but this felt like it should have been for the TV Title. Josh going on and on about how the dark cloud was now gone from over Impact Wrestling just came off as stupid as Young had only been champion for about a month and a half. This never felt like a Bound For Glory main event coming in and that was the case here as well. Certainly a good one, but the main event of the biggest show of the year is way too much.

The roster comes out to celebrate with Swann, which is still quite the overreaction.

Overall Rating: B. The main event is kind of a perfect microcosm for the whole show: it’s quality stuff for the most part and nothing is overly bad, but there was nothing on here that felt important. I kept thinking the main event should have been something else, but what in the world on here is supposed to be some big match or moment? Impact really needs to work on building up their big match feeling, but that has been the case for years. Good show and worth a look if you have time. Just don’t expect to be blown away by…well anything actually.

Results

Rohit Raju b. TJP, Jordynne Grace, Trey Miguel, Willie Mack and Chris Bey – Running knee to TJP

Rhino won a Call Your Shot gauntlet match last eliminating Sami Callihan

Moose b. EC3 – Belt shot to the head

Ken Shamrock b. Eddie Edwards – Ankle lock

The North b. Good Brothers, Motor City Machine Guns and Ace Austin/Madman Fulton – Belt shot to Alexander

Su Yung b. Deonna Purrazzo – Panic Switch

Rich Swann b. Eric Young – Phoenix splash

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Hell In A Cell 2020: Punch It Up

IMG Credit: WWE

Hell In A Cell 2020
Date: October 25, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Phillips, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe, Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s time for another version of the show where WWE doesn’t care enough to even put together six matches before we get to the show. I’m not sure why WWE feels the need to do something like this but this marks two years in a row of a similar nature. There are three Cell matches tonight so it must be big. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: 24/7 Title: R-Truth vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak is challenging and immediately starts talking to Little Jimmy….who he then knocks down. Truth goes after Gulak in the corner and hammers away so Gulak takes him down by the leg. A leglock goes on, followed by Gulak stretching Truth’s neck over his back (think a Gory Stretch but without tying up the arms). Truth fights back with John Cena’s offense, including the AA for two. Gulak goes after the knee again and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence, with Truth rolling him up for the pin to retain at 5:23.

Rating: D. The match was pretty straightforward, meaning it felt out of place with the 24/7 Title. There was the Little Jimmy stuff at the beginning, but Gulak beating up an invisible boy isn’t enough to make up for the rest of things. It’s hard to criticize the title, though I’m not sure I get the need for a match to warm up the crowd when there is no crowd.

Post match the menagerie of numskulls run in to chase after Truth.

The opening video looks at the Cell matches and not much more, mainly because there isn’t much more after that.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Jey Uso for Reigns’ Universal Title. Reigns beat Jey at Clash Of Champions but wanted Jey to acknowledge him as Tribal Chief of the family. That hasn’t happened yet, so Jey is getting one more shot, though there are some stipulations. First of all, it’s an I Quit match, but the catch is that if Reigns wins, both Jey and his brother Jimmy have to obey Reigns. If they don’t, they are out of the family.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Jey Uso

Reigns, with Paul Heyman, is defending inside the Cell in an I Quit match. They shout at each other a bit until Reigns shoulders him down to start. A snap suplex has Jey in more trouble and Reigns sneers down at him in a great visual. Jey manages an enziguri to knock Reigns outside though and a dive sends him into the Cell. A running clothesline puts Reigns on the floor again and there’s another dive. Reigns is driven into the wall again and Jey starts to get serious, only to get cut off with a spear back inside. Reigns starts telling Jey that it’s over so Jey knocks him outside for a dropkick into the Cell.

The dive is cut off with a right hand though and Reigns hits another spear back inside. Jey is back up with a superkick into the Superfly Splash and they’re both down with Reigns not quitting. Another splash connects but Reigns says the head of the table never quits. Therefore it’s time to bring in a leather strap, even as Paul shouts no. Uso whips him in the back so Reigns hits a third spear to cut him off again. Jey can’t breathe but he won’t quit, so this time it’s Reigns whipping him for a change. Reigns: “I DO THE WHIPPING AROUND HERE!”

Jey’s look of shock at the pain is a great visual as he did these same things to Reigns but didn’t realize how bad it would be to get it back. More whips have Jey down but he uses the strap to pull himself up. They slug it out until Jey hits a superkick and ties the strap around Reigns’ throat. Reigns still won’t quit so Jey grabs a chair but Reigns hits the Superman Punch. The guillotine goes on with Reigns jumping into a bodyscissors and Jey is mostly out. That’s not quitting though and Reigns is looking more annoyed than anything else. Reigns says all Jey had to do was quit and now we’re here.

The referee and Reigns both implore him to quit until Reigns tells the referee to shut his mouth. Reigns lays Jey on the apron for the running kick to the head but Jey still won’t quit. With that not working, Reigns puts the steps on the apron and crushes Jey’s head between the steps and the post. Jey is out and Reigns is looking like this hurts him even more. The referee goes to call it because Jey is out so Reigns throws him over the top for thinking about ending things.

The other referee comes in but Reigns yells about what he’s supposed to tell his own kids for Jey making him look bad. A bunch of officials come out to tell Reigns to stop….so he throws the steps inside. Adam Pearce and company all bail out so Reigns puts the steps on top of Jey. Reigns shouts that Jey has been testing him their whole life and all he has to do is acknowledge him.

There is no going back when you go this far and now Reigns is ending him for not understanding. Reigns picks up the steps but here’s Jimmy Uso to lay on Jey for the save. Jimmy asks what is wrong with Reigns and says we can fix this. It’s Josh that is laying here in the ring and they can get through this together. Reigns starts crying and says he doesn’t know who he is anymore. Jimmy extends his hand and Reigns takes it…and then pulls him into the guillotine choke. Jey finally quits to save his brother at 29:06.

Rating: C+. I have no idea how to grade something like this as again it was more of a long segment than a match for the most part. It was similar to Clash in that regard, but I always have a problem with something like this being in the Cell, which added nothing. If people can just come in over and over, what’s the point in having the Cell other than a visual?

Now all that aside, this was more great character development stuff and shows how far Reigns has gone to the dark side. There’s something that makes it so much different when it’s family and I want to know how it’s going to be now that the Usos have to obey him. It was good, but the Cell didn’t add anything here and that gets annoying.

Post match Heyman is stunned as Afa and Sika come out to hug Reigns and put a lei around his neck.

The announcers are all emotional about what we just saw.

Elias vs. Jeff Hardy

Before the match, Elias sings about how they’re having a match but Jeff can always lean back on the booze. Elias: “WWE stands for Walk With Elias but Jeff Hardy stands for DUI.” Elias chops him against the ropes to start but Hardy snapmares him into a Hennig necksnap for two. Hardy cranks on the arm with a hammerlock and they head outside with Jeff hitting a dropkick through the ropes. A dive off the steps earns Jeff a crash into the steps but he beats the count back inside.

Elias hits a clothesline to set up the chinlock but Hardy fights up and gets a breather. The legdrop between the legs into a basement dropkick gives Jeff two and Elias is in trouble. The Twist of Fate is countered into an electric chair into a spinning powerbomb for two on Hardy. Jeff is back up with the Whisper in the Wind and now the Twist connects. Hardy loads up the Swanton but Elias rolls to the floor and grabs the guitar. That’s taken away though and Jeff cracks him with the guitar for the DQ at 7:51.

Rating: C-. Pretty much a Raw match and little more, which is about all you could have expected. Elias has never quite developed in the ring, though he can work well enough and Hardy can make up the slack with anyone. They kept things short here though and you can guarantee this continuing to promote Elias’ album.

We recap Otis vs. Miz for Otis’ Money in the Bank briefcase. Miz doesn’t want Otis to be Mr. Money in the Bank so he has tried to ruin his life. This set up the court case on Smackdown where Judge JBL made their match tonight for the briefcase.

Otis says his mama taught him to flaunt it if you’ve got it. Well he has it, and tonight Miz is going to get it.

Money in the Bank Briefcase: Miz vs. Otis

Otis is defending and John Morrison/Tucker are the seconds. Otis’ music also now starts with “Blue Collar Working Man” because we need things explained to us. Miz gets knocked down to start and Otis throws in an OH YEAH. They head to the floor with Miz being run over again but Morrison offers a distraction. Back in and the DDT gives Miz two so we hit the sleeper, with Cole saying that at Otis’ size, he probably has a bad case of sleep apnea.

With that weird statement out of the way, Miz kicks Otis in the face for two and hits the YES Kicks to the chest. The power of jiggling gets Otis out of trouble and the shirt comes off. There’s the flapjack but Morrison pulls Miz away from the Caterpillar. Morrison loads up a briefcase shot but gets caught, meaning he hides the briefcase behind his back and swears innocence. That’s good for an ejection and Otis hits a discus lariat for two. As Cole cracks up at Corey’s joke about Otis being able to power a small city, Tucker turns on Otis with a briefcase shot and Miz gets the pin at 7:26.

Rating: D. They had to do something like this as there was no reason to believe that Otis was going to win the World Title in any universe. Miz winning over anyone on Raw isn’t likely either, but it’s a lot easier to believe than Otis winning. Tucker turning on Otis gives them an out, though they’re going to have to bend the Draft rules for that long awaited Heavy Machinery showdown. In addition to that though, commentary was destroying this match as they were openly cracking up at Corey’s Otis jokes and it was really distracting. I know Otis isn’t exactly serious, but can we pretend this matters?

Miz and Morrison say how big of a deal this is and say the World Champions are on notice. Tucker comes in and shrugs off Miz and Morrison’s congratulations. He talks about how he has sacrificed everything for Otis and the team, like having him do the hot tag for the Worm or giving him the confidence to ask out Mandy Rose. Tucker has sacrificed everything for the team and he’s sick of it. Otis comes in to jump Miz and Morrison but Tucker runs off. Perfectly logical reasoning from Tucker.

We recap Bayley vs. Sasha Banks for the Smackdown Women’s Title. They feuded forever and then they teamed up to dominate the women’s divisions. Then they started losing their titles so Bayley turned on her before Banks could do the same. Banks was on the shelf with an injury thanks to Bayley but now she’s back for revenge and the title.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

Banks is challenging inside the Cell and kicks Bayley’s chair out of the Cell to make things even. The beating is on in a hurry and Banks grabs the Bank Statement, sending Bayley to the ropes. That means nothing in the Cell though so Bayley crawls to the floor for the break. Bayley drives her into the Cell but misses some kendo stick shots. Sasha throws the stick outside as well though and hits a knee to Bayley’s face. A table is set up at ringside but Bayley gets in a shot to cut her off.

That’s fine with Banks, who uses the edge of the table to drive Bayley into the Cell. A Meteora off the table into the Cell sets up another Meteora for two back inside. Bayley knocks her back to the floor though and tosses the chair at her, only to have Banks slide under the table. Said table is kicked into Bayley’s face and they go to the apron. Bayley throws her at the Cell so Sasha hangs on and jumps right back onto the apron.

A hurricanrana to the floor sends Bayley into the Cell and Banks whips her into the steps. Banks bridges some kendo sticks between the Cell and the holes in the steps but Bayley whips her through them instead. Bayley puts the sticks back and catapults Banks throat first into them this time. The reverse chinlock stays on Banks’ back and neck before Bayley sends her face first into an open chair.

The chair is wedged into the corner and Bayley hits a running sunset bomb to send Banks head first into the steel (dang that looked nasty). Bayley gets two off a top rope elbow but the bulldog driver is countered into the Bank Statement. Another crawl to the floor is enough for the escape and Bayley ties her in the ring skirt. Bayley unloads with the kendo stick shots to the back and it’s time for some duct tape and rope. Two of the sticks are taped together and wedged between the ring frame and the Cell but Banks gets in a blast with a fire extinguisher.

Bayley is fine enough to get the original chair back inside but Banks unloads on her. Banks sends her into the Cell and throws in a kendo stick to continue the beating. A lot of shouting and a lot of shots to the ribs have Bayley in more trouble but she crawls for her chair. Banks cuts that off and goes up for the frog splash but Bayley gets the chair up. The bulldog driver on the floor gives Bayley two and it’s time for a ladder, which is laid over two open chairs.

Bayley spray paints an X onto Banks and goes up top with the chair, only to hit the ladder instead. A running Meteora into the corner and a Bayley to Belly onto the ladder gives Banks two, meaning it’s frustration time. Bayley is back with her own Bayley to Belly for two so it’s time for the chair again. This time Banks pulls her down into the Bank Statement though, even tying the chair around Bayley’s neck. Some stomps to the chair to go with the hold make Bayley tap away the title at 26:32.

Rating: B. This at least felt a lot more like the violence that takes place inside the Cell, which is kind of the point of the show. Banks winning the title here makes sense and it’s not like they needed to stretch it out any longer. They beat the fire out of each other here and it felt like a bit time fight, which is entirely the point. You can all but guarantee that these two aren’t done, but hopefully they wait until TLC for the rematch.

A lot of staring ensues post match.

The Hurt Business is ready to step up and accept Mustafa Ali’s challenge. It’s going to be Bobby Lashley vs. Slapjack and MVP is even willing to raise the stakes: no cornermen or seconds, and we’ll make it a US Title match.

US Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Slapjack

Lashley is defending and this is the result of Mustafa Ali issuing a challenge on the Kickoff Show. Retribution now has regular music and a regular entrance to make sure they aren’t unique whatsoever. Lashley wastes no time in running him over and hitting a quick suplex. Back up and Slapjack scores with a dropkick to send Lashley into the corner for the Cannonball. A running DDT gives Slapjack two but Lashley isn’t having any of that. The big spinebuster sets up the Hurt Lock to retain at 3:54.

Rating: D+. Another totally standard Raw match which wouldn’t have been more filler if it was a filler item in the filler section at the filler store. There’s no such thing as a filler store you say? Well there’s also no sense in building up a team like Retribution for so many weeks and then having them lose every match like this either so it all fills out.

Post match the rest of Retribution comes in but the Hurt Business makes the easy save.

Survivor Series is Undertaker: 30. As it kind of has to be.

The Cell is lowered. Yeah we saw this about forty minutes ago. Find something new.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Drew McIntyre. Orton has had two title shots this year with McIntyre beating him both times, so Orton has attacked various legends to force McIntyre into the Cell. This is rather similar to how Summerslam was set up but you can’t expect them to come up with another new idea so soon.

Quick look at Batista in the new Gears of War game.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton

Inside the Cell with McIntyre defending. McIntyre makes his entrance but here’s Orton as a cameraman to jump him from behind. That doesn’t go well for Orton, as McIntyre chops away and sends him into the Cell. The beating continues around the Cell and McIntyre takes it inside, demanding that the Cell be locked. I mean, it didn’t matter in the opener but it’s a nice idea. The bell rings and McIntyre hammers away but the threat of an RKO means he has to knock Orton outside.

Orton is driven into the cage and McIntyre shoves his face into the steel for a bonus. McIntyre sends him back first into the Cell as this is one sided so far. A chair to the ribs and back keeps Orton down but he avoids the steps being thrown at his head. The Claymore misses (mainly because McIntyre stopped way too early) and Orton hits him in the leg with a chair. Said chair is driven into McIntyre’s previously injured jaw and McIntyre is sent face first into the buckle.

Orton sends the bad jaw into the steps as well before wrapping his pants around McIntyre’s eyes. McIntyre’s face is shoved into the Cell wall and a thumb to the eye cuts off his comeback. There’s a whip into the steps and McIntyre looks shocked by the pain. A table is set up against the Cell but Orton grabs the backbreaker for one to keep McIntyre down. McIntyre is back with the overhead belly to belly and there’s a neckbreaker into the nip up. They head outside with McIntyre suplexing him through the table as the fans (uh….) think this is awesome.

Back in and Orton hits a low blow into the hanging DDT for two. Frustration is setting in so Orton whips out some bolt cutters and opens the door. McIntyre gets knocked down again and Orton climbs the Cell, which is just not going to end well. For reasons of general stupidity, McIntyre follows him up and Orton catches him with a pipe shot to the leg. Orton starts climbing down so Drew follows him, meaning it’s the fight on the side of the Cell.

Some shots to the hands finally knock McIntyre down and through the announcers’ table (not quite the biggest fall) so he come sup bleeding from the mouth. McIntyre is coughing a lot and they finally get back inside. The backslide gives McIntyre two (in a call back to Summerslam) and there’s the Claymore to send Orton outside. Back in and another Claymore misses, setting up the RKO to give Orton the pin and the title at 30:34.

Rating: B. Another good one, though your mileage on Orton winning the title back may vary. I wasn’t big on them going outside just to set up not very big crash, as they still don’t quite get the point of the Cell. That being said, they beat each other up for quite a long time here and you almost had to have Orton take the title at some point after the back to back losses. It isn’t the worst thing by far and the match was good, but it could have been better with more violence and less walking around.

Overall Rating: B. I’m really not sure what to think about this one as the big matches were good and the weaker ones were all mostly short, but man alive this did not feel important. This felt like a show they threw together without much effort and then slapped the Cell name on it to make everything work. It’s a good show and makes up for some of last year’s complete drek of a main event, but I’m not likely to remember any of this in about a week. They were in and out in three hours and it had some good stuff with several important changes, but it had no impact or punch and that’s a weird combination.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Jey Uso – Jey quit when Jimmy Uso was in a guillotine choke

Elias b. Jeff Hardy via DQ when Hardy used Elias’ guitar

Miz b. Otis – Tucker hit Otis with the Money in the Bank briefcase

Sasha Banks b. Bayley – Bank Statement with a chair around Bayley’s neck

Bobby Lashley b. Slapjack – Hurt Lock

Randy Orton b. Drew McIntyre – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1992 (2012 Redo): They’re At It Again

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1992
Date: November 25, 1992
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

Vince and Bobby run down the card. There are multiple gimmick matches tonight.

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Nailz chokes Mooney and says that was injustice.

Tatanka, a Native American, is chanting to get ready for his match with Martel, which is over some stolen feathers. It was a different time.

Razor, still in his original persona of Al Pacino from Scarface (funny story about that: Vince is known for not seeing almost any big time movies. When Ramon was interviewing with Vince, McMahon asked him to come up with a character on the spot. Ramon went into a Tony Montana imitation from the movie Scarface without knowing Vince had never seen the move. Vince immediately thought Ramon was a genius and push him), makes generic threats. Flair was AWESOME here.

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Razor Ramon/Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect

Post match Flair puts Hennig in the Figure Four and Razor gets a chair, but Savage makes a save and chases both guys off.

Flair and Ramon rant in the back.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Yokozuna is listed as being from the Polynesian Islands here. This is when Yokozuna is only 505lbs and he had padding in his outfit to make him look fatter. Yokozuna immediately shoves Virgil away and chops him down. Some dropkicks do some good for Virgil but Yokozuna superkicks him (and gets his foot higher than Virgil did on his dropkicks) to take over.

Savage and Perfect brag a lot.

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers/Money Inc

Rating: C. Not bad here but the ending kind of sucked. What was the point in having the Nasty Boys beat Money Inc that fast when the majority of the match was about the Disasters vs. Money Inc? The Nasty Boys were basically there to fill in a spot instead of being the focus of the match for their team. Odd indeed but it was entertaining enough.

We recap Kamala vs. Undertaker. Undertaker beat him at Summerslam so Kamala crushed him with a bunch of splashes to a very limited effect. This set up the Coffin Match tonight, which is a regular match but the winner gets to put the loser in a coffin.

Undertaker is building a special coffin.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Kamala immediately runs from Undertaker and they head to the floor for more not fighting. Back in and Kamala pounds away with almost no effect. Undertaker hits the yet to be named Old School and Kamala is in trouble again. A clothesline sets up some choking by the Dead Man but Kamala chops him to the floor. This is really dull so far. Kamala rams Undertaker head first into the steps and hits him in the back before we head inside. A kick to the chest puts Undertaker down for all of a second. Kamala slams him a bunch of times and three splashes. The urn is knocked into the ring and Undertaker sits up, followed by an urn shot to the head for the pin.

Undertaker nails the coffin shut.

Bret is ready for Shawn. Gene lists off all of the micarders Bret has defended the title against with the idea being that Bret will fight anyone.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Post ending of the show, Bret asks Santa for better competition. Ok then.

Ratings Comparison

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Original: C-

Redo: D

Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect vs. Razor Ramon/Ric Flair

Original: B

Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Original: C
Redo: C-

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

Original: D

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Original: C+

Redo: F

Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels:

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Dang I must have really grown to hate Kamala since then. Overall it’s roughly the same though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/11/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1992-bret-vs-shawn-at-survivor-series/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1992 (Original): Something Completely Different

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1992
Date: November 25, 1992
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

Ok so for once we really do have a ton of changes here. For one thing, this is far closer to a standard PPV. There’s one Survivor Series match which is kind of one I guess, but it’s two tag teams and if one member is eliminated both members are gone so it’s kind of a Survivor Series match but not really. The other huge difference here is that there’s no Hogan or Warrior. Warrior is on the box of the tape, but he wasn’t on the show.

He was supposed to be in half of the double main event, a tag match with Savage against Razor Ramon and Flair. However, he bailed a week before the show and the WWF had to use Mr. Perfect in what I thought was a great angle that I’ll get to later. Other than that, your main event is Bret vs. Shawn. This was a real gamble for Vince as we had never tried having two standard wrestlers go at it in a major show’s main event.

There’s no big muscle head to go out and have a match, but Vince put his faith in what he had left and to me, it worked. Other than that, this isn’t going to look like the Survivor Series. With what’s been happening lately at this show, it can’t be worse, so let’s see how this is.

We open with the Reverend Slick saying…ummm…I have no idea what he’s talking about. I think it was something about spreading light. Yeah this was a strange character but he was very energetic so I can’t complain. Vince and Bobby go over the double main event and we’re ready to go.

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

High Energy is Koko B. Ware and Owen Hart in really bright and baggy neon pants and suspenders. Headshrinkers are two Samoans that are monsters. Guess what this is. Yep, it’s a squash, however, oddly enough the Headshrinkers are in the ring before High Energy is introduced so they look like the jobbers. That’s just odd. I’ve always been a mark for the Headshrinkers so if nothing else I’ll probably like this match.

Fatu is more commonly known as Rikishi. Vince is needling Bobby about Perfect’s face turn which is just great. How in the world is Koko a Hall of Fame member? That just boggles my mind every time I think about it. Vince says that High Energy has been very successful so far. That’s nonsense but oh well. Heenan asks Vince if the Headshrinkers will be at his house for Thanksgiving. That’s an amusing thought and oddly enough I think Vince would have fun with it.

After Koko gets the tar beaten out of him for a good while, he makes the hot tag to the most talented guy in the match, Owen. Owen comes in and beats up the Headshrinkers for a bit, but the overall mass of the fat one is too much for Owen and he’s pinned after a big splash from the top.

This was fairly long at about seven and a half minutes but it was really just an extended squash. Post match Heenan uses his Brain Scan, a telestrator, the white pen thing on the screen, to show how Owen is a turkey. In other words, he draws pictures with it.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t bad, but it was a nice breath of air compared to most Survivor Series matches. It was a standard tag team squash, which isn’t something that you see very often anymore, mainly because the tag team division sucks. Anyway, this was at least ok. It’s not great but it’s not bad. It’s certainly acceptable and a fine choice to open the show.

Alfred Hayes is with Boss Man who says he’s going to beat Nailz.

Sean Mooney says that viewer discretion is advised for the following match. Now there’s something you don’t see every day. Nailz implies Boss Man was abusive and that he’s been waiting for this. He says he’s a good climber, so does that mean he’s an escaped convict? Yeah that’s just kind of stupid.

Boss Man cuts a promo…again. He says the exact same thing. I think only one was shown on the live broadcast, but I really don’t get why they did two in a row like this. The second is better.

Nightstick on a Pole: Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

During that second promo, Boss Man runs off mid sentence to catch Nailz who is trying to get the stick early. That at least makes sense. Yep it’s a big brawl. That’s all this was supposed to be. Boss Man was more or less worthless at this point, but Nailz was going to be given the Undertaker of all people next, as he had several house show matches followed by being on the cover of the WWF Magazine. However, after nearly murdering Vince McMahon (literally) he was fired.

As you would expect, both guys go for the post but neither can get it. The pole is too short though and all you have to do is stand on the top rope. Of course since this is a pole match and all they have to do is standard climbing, it takes 20 seconds to get up there. Nailz at least has the psychology of it right as he uses mainly chokes and punches. He’s not supposed to be a polished wrestler and he’s not wrestling like one.

He’s a street fighter and he’s acting like one. At least he’s smart enough to do that. This is just a sloppy match all around. They’re worn out after about three minutes with no big bumps yet. The way Bobby and Vince are talking about it you would think this was a Hell in a Cell match or something. See, if I were in this match, I’d let the other guy get the stick and then jump him on the way down, but then again I’m not a professional.

Boss Man gets the stick and beats Nailz with it, but a shot to the head isn’t enough to keep him down apparently. Nailz gets it and hits Boss Man in the side with it. He then waits for him to get up, misses a shot, gets punched twice, whipped in and the Boss Man Slam ends it. Yep that’s it. This was a waste of time.

Rating: D+. This was just awful. There was no point at all to it and it should have been a standard match instead of this mess. The nightstick served next to no purpose but of course it looked like it was awesome. It just wasn’t entertaining at all and ended without the stick being a factor. Just make it a one on one next time people.

Nailz, while choking Mooney, says that was more injustice.

Tatanka is in the back with Alfred Hayes. He says that tonight he’ll get back his eagle feathers and honor his people. Well at least it’s borderline original.

Gene is with Flair and Razor. Gene talks about how there was a big swerve going on and how Perfect is the new partner. We go to the tape of Prime Time Wrestling where Perfect turned. This was just after Warrior had left and Savage was on satellite from Florida. He says that his partner could be perfect for him.

The design of the show was a round table with Vince, Hillbilly Jim, Jim Duggan, Heenan and Perfect there discussing various things in the company and talking about matches that were shown. That’s actually a pretty cool idea when you think about it. Anyway, Vince says do you mean Mr. Perfect and Savage says he does. Heenan speaks for Perfect, saying that they both take orders from Flair and that Perfect isn’t wrestling anywhere.

Perfect takes offense to this and says that he’s tired of being ordered around before accepting. Heenan slaps him which causes Perfect to grab him by the tie and pour water over him, saying that Flair is afraid of him. We cut back to Flair, who is TICKED over this. He talks to Perfect, saying that he had it all and is throwing it away.

There’s a hint of fear in his voice which is just great as this is a heck of a promo. Ramon says that his team will win. He really wasn’t that good yet and it showed in his promos. He would get a lot better. The partnership here was always kind of a weird one as it was never really explained.

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

This is happening because Martel stole some feathers from Tatanka which were important. Well it’s better than nothing I guess. This is a bit of a departure from the Survivor Series idea wouldn’t you say? Heenan goes on a huge rant about life in general, mainly focused on Perfect. Martel chokes and Heenan shouts out that HE HAS TIL FIVE!

Sgt. Slaughter is now an enforcer of rules or something like that. A front facelock by Martel gets him nowhere. Scratch that as it gets him suplexed. Ok so it failed him once so now we go right back to it. Doink is here now as he has only been here for about five weeks now. Amazingly enough the facelock leads to ANOTHER suplex. That’s just appropriate.

Doink makes a balloon animal for a kid and steals it. That’s straight up awesome. Martel uses the hold AGAIN. Dude three times with the same hold in 3 minutes? Seriously? Are you that bored? A cop shows up in the front row and takes a sign as we cut away. It probably said WCW or something like that, making that person EVIL!

Martel hits the post with his shoulder so the stereotype goes after it, showing some intelligence. Backslide gets two which of course Vince swears is a pin. Doink continues to be a big focus here but I don’t think anything ever came of his involvement here. How weird is it to think that Vince has been WWF Champion but neither of these guys were?

Martel works on the back now as Tatanka is in trouble. Decent little match so far if nothing else. Double axe off the middle rope eats fist though and here comes the warpath thing. Top rope chop hits Martel and he’s in big trouble. Samoan drop ends it and Tatanka gets the feathers back. Doink pops the kids’ balloons just to be evil.

Rating: C-. This was fine for what it was: a midcard match that nothing ever really came of. It was the end to this mini-feud and nothing else ever came of it. Both guys were at least ok in the ring and it went fine I guess. Nothing ever came of the Doink thing though, which means it was indeed, completely pointless, for him to be out there at the end.

We go to Mooney who is with Savage and Perfect, who say that they’re a strange team but they respect each other. In some weird way, this match actually looks decent enough I guess. Perfect gives a WOO at the end which ticks Bobby off during the intros.

Razor Ramon/Ric Flair vs. Mr. Perfect/Randy Savage

The faces get a HUGE pop, especially Savage. How in the world did Vince not push him as top face once Hulk left? I’ll never get that for the life of me. He had everything: the look, the ability, the resume, yet for no apparent reason he was put behind the announce desk. That just doesn’t make sense to me. Heenan is so angry about this match that it’s hilarious. We start with Perfect against Ramon which gets yet another pop.

This AWA reunion begins with Perfect being all over the place and outmaneuvering Razor. The forgotten aspect is that these two are former AWA World Tag Team Champions. Perfect nails Flair and we get the big showdown. Savage and Flair is one of the best feuds ever. Both guys can go in the ring and it offered proof that the company could work without the big orange man to help them out. The heels take over now as Ramon puts on an abdominal stretch.

Vince has apparently been hanging out with Monsoon too much as he criticizes it for a lack of the hook of the toe. Has anyone ever done that hold properly? The heels are dominating Savage now, which makes sense as Perfect hasn’t been around for about a year now so it makes sense that he’s on the apron for a lot of the match. As Savage is being beaten on, Perfect turns to walk away. This makes limited sense as there’s no point to it really.

The heels do the smart thing and point Savage’s face at Perfect leaving, which would I guess work to break his spirit a bit. See, that’s why Flair is better than most wrestlers: he had the mental aspect of wrestling down. That’s a critical key to a wrestler that most people don’t have. Heenan ranting about Perfect is flat out awesome. This has been a pretty good match so far. It’s not great, but it’s what you would expect from a main event level tag match I suppose.

Razor hits a chokeslam which doesn’t have a name yet. Heenan says that he’s seen Ramon do that to the people on the streets of Miami. What area of Miami is Ramon from? I’ve never been there but apparently 6’6 men chokeslam you on the cement there. That’s fairly cool. Also, as Ramon goes for the cover and Perfect looks for the save, Bobby yells “GET OUT OF THE RING YOU LOWLIFE!”

That’s just an awesome line if there ever was one. He sounds so ticked off which is all you can ask for here. Flair goes to the top, and I’ll give you two guesses as to what happens. Actually you would be wrong because Savage does something different here. He climbs to the middle rope before going back to the bottom rope to slam him. That wouldn’t really add anything to the move I don’t think, but whatever, it looked cool.

This lets Savage get the hot tag to Perfect who proceeds to clean house. It’s chair time as Savage gets taken out by a shot from Flair. The referee gets bumped and apparently the other one was just behind the curtain because he’s out there in like 4 seconds. Perfect and Ramon are going at it and Razor sets for the Edge. Perfect gets a sweet counter by kicking off the top rope and backdropping Ramon.

He hits the Perfectplex but only gets two because of Flair. He hits another on Flair but no pin again with Razor making the save. Since both guys are in the ring forever, we get the DQ in a cheap ending. Flair puts him in the figure four and eventually Savage makes the save with a chair as the faces win. The face celebration takes way too long as they’re channeling Hogan I guess.

Rating: B. The ending hurts it a bit, but this was solid. It was a good tag match and while it didn’t have a definitive ending, it might be better that it didn’t here. Perfect looked good while Ramon looked pretty good as well. This was what you would expect from these four in this kind of a match. It went fine though, and I can’t really complain about anything other than the ending I guess. Bobby’s rants are great here.

Flair and Ramon are angry of course and they vow revenge.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

This was the not incredibly fat Yoko, as he’s only 505 at this point and the monster that we know him as. He’s billed from Polynesia here which is just odd in all respects. We get a segment from earlier in the day where Hayes goes to Yoko’s room for an interview but Yoko is getting a massage. Fuji offers to let Alfred get a massage. He’s liking it as Fuji throws him out. Vince tries to make this match sound good. That’s just funny.

Despite being Polynesian apparently, Fuji has the Japanese flag. Vince says he hasn’t been tested yet. Apparently that’s going to be the case after this match too. Naturally, Virgil really can’t do much here. It’s basic jobber offense with punches and dropkicks that fail more and more every time. Yoko hits a sweet kick to the face that knocks him down with ease. He crushes him with a sweet spinning rock bottom suplex.

The squashing continues as Virgil tries to out move him. Vince says he’s trying to stay away from him as he’s running right at him. I love that classic Vince commentary. In a spot I’ve always wanted to see, Virgil goes for a school boy and Yoko just sits on him. That’s as simple as you could get and it worked perfectly. Within a few seconds the Banzai ends this one.

Rating: C. It’s a squash so I guess we’ll call it average. Virgil of course stood no chance here and it was nothing more than a way to get Yoko over and there’s nothing at all wrong with doing that here. It gave him a win over a somewhat big name and Virgil gets to eat tonight, so things are fine here. It was short, under four minutes that is, so what can I really complain about?

We go to the back with Savage and Perfect who say that was great. They say Ramon and Flair are the turkeys.

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

This is the elimination tag I was talking about earlier. Money Inc. are the tag champions here and are in the middle of a feud with the Nastys that I don’t remember in the slightest. DiBiase is wearing the stupid white attire again which if you’ve read my thoughts on Summerslam 92, you know my take on. The other two teams had fought at Summerslam so I guess that constitutes a feud, despite it being a squash. Yeah that makes sense.

The Nastys are WAY over. That’s quite surprising to me. Again, this is a very boring match indeed. I don’t get the point in having these kinds of things, although I guess in this case only having one works fine. This is even a switch from the normal stuff and it’s still rather pointless. Vince asks if Heenan will be on an upcoming European tour. Heenan says he might but it’s really none of Vince’s business.

I love lines like that where given what we know now the meanings are far different. Yep, this match sucks as well. Why can’t there just be interesting matches on a show? I don’t get how hard that is to accomplish. Anyway, after about five minutes of people just beating on each other with the freaking Nasty Boys being the most over out there (I will never get wrestling fans at times), we get to what we knew was coming: the wild brawl.

Out of this, the Beverlies go down to the Earthquake from Earthquake. He really needed a better name for that move. My goodness Typhoon was worthless. Actually that’s not true. He was good for comedy, as he’s more commonly known as the legendary Shockmaster. Good grief this will just not end.

The heels dominate for a few minutes until Typhoon comes in to clean house a bit. This works for awhile until IRS rolls him up to eliminate the Disasters. Within five seconds, Knobbs rolls him up for the win. I kind of like that ending I think.

Rating: D. Oy this was another horrible match. There’s just no point to this match other than to further Nasties vs. Money Inc., which begs the question of why not just have them go at it by themselves? Wouldn’t that make things a lot easier? I’d certainly think so. Either way, this was nothing special and for the most part was just flat out boring. That seems to be a trend here.

We recap Taker vs. Kamala with the main thing being Kamala is scared of caskets. Why does that not surprise me? We see Taker building a massive casket before we go to the arena for the match.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

This is different than the traditional casket match with the rules here being that you have to get the pinfall and THEN put them in the box. Yeah that’s just redundant. The intros here are long but not modern day Taker long as it only takes about five minutes for both guys to come out. Taker and Bearer have the massive coffin with them which is always cool looking, but this one is way too bright for my liking.

Immediately we see the two major issues in this match. First of all, Kamala sucks, badly. Even for a monster he sucks. Second, the coffin aspect is just stupid since it’s pinfall first. Due to that, there’s really no point to the box aspect. They should have made it one or the other, but granted this was a first so they were really in the dark at this point. So far this is your standard monster vs. monster match. Taker beats on both managers but gets chopped by Kamala. This was a very odd time in Taker’s career.

They knew that he was a huge asset and talent, but they had absolutely no clue what to do with him. Since they didn’t know all they did was throw him against monster after monster whom Taker would usually beat after losing an initial encounter. This feud in particular since after this at the Rumble, Whippleman would bring in Giant Gonzalez who would destroy Taker for a bit before Taker put him away at Summerslam.

About 12 years later, the feud was completely recycled but with Muhammad Hassan and Mark Henry combining to play the role of Kamala and Great Khali being Gonzalez. The IWC HATED this feud because we were literally calling every single thing that was going to happen and we were right. Now to be fair, they waited over 10 years so I guess it’s ok, but still it was a very boring 8 months as far as we were concerned when it came to Taker.

Kamala starts taking over and hits some of the worst splashes ever. Like I’ve said, unless it’s from the top rope, for the most part if you use a splash for a finisher, odds are you’re not a very good wrestler. With Taker down, Kim Chee and Kamala literally play hot potato with the urn. Taker sits up and nails Kamala with it for the pin. See, after that they ring the bell, which shows how stupid this is. They roll Kamala into the coffin and literally nail it shut. Yep that’s it.

Rating: C+. Eh, given what they had this was about as good as it was going to get I suppose. Taker winning was never in doubt at all, but it was ok. It certainly could have been worse but they kept it short and that was a big plus for these guys. There’s really not a lot that they’ll be able to do, so I’m happy with this overall. The gimmick was a bit stupid, but they didn’t know what they were doing, so this is slightly above average.

Shawn cuts a pretty bad promo, talking about how he beat Bulldog for the IC belt, who beat Hart for the belt at Summerslam. Apparently Bret has defended the title the most times in history, which is impressive since I think he won it about 6 weeks before this. He was brand new to the big time and you could see he was very nervous.

We get a pointless bit about Kim Chee and Harvey opening the casket and Kamala not being able to move. And that’s about it.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

After Shawn’s intro, we go to the back for an interview with Bret. Since winning the belt he’s defended against Mountie, Berzerker, Rick Martel, Papa Shango and Virgil. And people have the nerve to ask why his first reign wasn’t taken seriously. Bret talks about how thankful he is for what he’s done and how he’s gotten this far. This had the potential to be a great promo, but Bret just wasn’t that good on the mic yet, which is understandable.

It fit his character really well as he was supposed to be the best pure wrestler in the world and while he couldn’t talk he could go in the ring. That’s what he did, and it worked very well. Like I said, this was a huge gamble for the company as they had no clue how to do a big show without Hogan or Warrior. This could have sunk the company for Vince, but thankfully he stuck to his guns and put two of his best young guys out there.

Bret gets a solid pop but not huge. Vince of course tries to make it sound bigger than Hogan ever got. Heenan gets in a great line. Vince says that Bret is likely the most scientific champion of all time. Heenan in his most condescending and annoyed voice says wrong. Vince asks who. Heenan: Flair. He sounds so snobby and annoyed here that it’s perfect. They start with a lengthy feeling out period, which makes sense here and works well since both of these guys can do just about anything.

Also, at this time Shawn doesn’t use the kick as his finisher, but rather a weird suplex move. The kick is in his arsenal but it’s just a run of the mill move. He’s kind of like a rookie MMA Brock Lesnar. He had everything else but he couldn’t finish people. Bret gets a hammerlock and Shawn actually taps but since it’s 1992 no one gets that. Dang maybe he’s more like Lesnar than I thought. Heenan mentions he gets paid a lot of money to do his job.

Vince’s “I’m sure you do” response is full of sarcasm which again is funnier now given that we know he signs Heenan’s checks. Given that this is a pretty long opening part of the match, the fans are staying into it which is a very good thing. Shawn uses that same rolling counter for a hip toss that he’s used before and it’s still completely awesome. Vince really likes talking about how Bret won the title.

How they evolved into what they became just five years later amazes me. We pick up the pace a bit which makes the match more interesting. Granted it was fine before but now it’s a bit better. Bret takes the standard momentum turning bump of having his shoulder hit the post at full speed.

Shawn shifts into a standard heel offense and this is working pretty well. These two have a natural chemistry between them and it’s never once failed to deliver at least a very good match. Even the Montreal match was at least good before the ending.

They continue the debate over who is stronger which never was answered I don’t think. Heenan, talking about Shawn, says this man is hot. Where’s Becca when I need her? I love how Vince orders the referees around. I wonder if he criticizes them about it later on. They kind of mention that Bret has won the Triple Crown but they don’t call it that. Pedro Morales had already done it so they can’t really say much about Bret.

Bobby goes to some classic insults about Bret’s family, which are likely what he was best at. We’ve been in this chinlock far too long now as Shawn just doesn’t have the variety in his offense to be able to pull off a nearly half hour match like this is. Given another year or two though he easily could, but he just wasn’t there yet. It seems that all he knows are rest holds, which I guess he’s using to just stall for time.

That’s fine I guess, but he needs to do some standard stuff in between them to prevent it from becoming boring. Heenan’s random talk of Razor and Flair is amusing. He played the role perfectly. You can tell Vince just can’t keep up with Heenan on the mic and it’s great to hear. Of course, Vince believed he was ten times the commentator that Gordon Solie was so who cares apparently.

Now that we’re out of the rest holds we’re turning it up a bit and now we’re getting good. Shawn of course gets hit with a sling shot which is one of his standard bumps that always works. Vince mentions that Bret has what a champion is made of. Vince, they’re both champions. Of course that’s not mentioned, so I guess even back then the IC Title was being buried. Dang I love that Russian Leg Sweep that Bret does.

For some reason Vince says what is going on. Well Vinny, it’s called a wrestling match. You might have seen one before but apparently not. The referee gets bumped in the corner but is up about 3 seconds later. I think that was unintentional. There’s just something missing from this match and I can’t put my finger on it. What I guess it is would be that neither of these guys are really huge stars yet.

Yes Bret is world champion, but he’s held it for such a short time that he’s still kind of viewed as a midcard guy. That’s what happened to Eddie during his run with the belt and it’s a hard thing to shake off. It’s a good match, but still there’s just an x factor that isn’t there. I think it’s a combination of Bret not going for the legs and Shawn having no finisher to end things with.

Today he would have the kick that he could hit from nowhere. He it looks like both guys are hoping to hit a rollup or something, and that’s what I think is missing. Shawn gets tied up in the ropes but is out in time for Bret to miss some big move and kind of get crotched. Apparently Bret is running himself too thin and whoever fights him next will beat him.

In the exact same ending to regulation time in the iron man match, Shawn misses a top rope dropkick and Bret gets the Sharpshooter to end this. That’s interesting that they would use the exact same ending sequence for regulation in the Iron Man match. And here comes…Santa Claus? What the heck? Yes, Santa is coming down the aisle, the night before Thanksgiving. What in the world? He puts a Santa hat on Bret’s head as it starts snowing in the arena.

I think I’m in one of X’s trips as this makes zero sense. Maybe it’s not snowing. Vince says it is but I don’t see any of it. Oh there it is. Vince says ho ho ho as we end it. After it ends, Bret is with Santa and he says he wants big and bad opponents for Christmas. That’s kind of cool I guess, but still, WHAT THE HECK?

Rating: A-. The lack of a Shawn finishing move here really hurt things. There was never a moment where you really felt that Shawn could pull it off because even though he sets for the suplex at one point, it’s a freaking belly to back suplex. Why should that be considered special?

It wasn’t and thankfully he changed to the kick…a few years later. Other than that, this was a good match. It’s not great, but it’s certainly worth seeing. These guys would go on to have classic after classic, but this one is really forgotten I think.

Overall Rating: C+. Well it’s better than anything that this show has done since the first one, so it gets a passing grade but not by much. This just flat out wasn’t that great. There’s two very good matches in the double main event, but the rest of the show is just above average at best. It was a gamble and it worked, but it didn’t feel like the Survivor Series at all. It worked, but not great like I said. It’s recommended though, but not very strongly at all.

 

 

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