What is it about this show that makes WWE not want to build it up? Last year there were three matches set up after the final SmackDown and this time there are only five. Granted three of them are inside the Cell but don’t you think that’s a little bit low? I’m sure there will be two or three more (plus a Kickoff Show match) but for now, as of rather early Sunday morning, we only have five to work with. Let’s get to it.

Jeff Hardy vs. Elias

This is one of the two matches that was set up this week and is the only match without something on the line. They are tying this back to the May segment where Hardy allegedly hit Elias with a car and I’m not sure if that is enough to make it work out that well. It’s certainly a match that can be thrown onto pay per view with no issues, but at the same time, it might not be that thrilling.

This has to go to Elias, as there is little reason for it to continue if Hardy wins so early. If nothing else, with Elias’ album coming out this week, you don’t want to have him lose so soon. I’m not sure where they are going to go with who drove the car, mainly because it seemed like they established that it was Sheamus. Either way, the match should be fine, though it’s not something I’m looking forward to all that much.

Money In The Bank Briefcase: Otis(c) vs. The Miz

I don’t want to get on Otis for the briefcase situation because it hasn’t been his fault, but dang this has been a big fall off from where he was just a few months ago. It was one thing when the fans were there cheering for him and you could imagine him stealing the title from Braun Strowman, but there is no way you can put Otis in the ring with this version of Roman Reigns and expect it to be taken anything closer to seriously. That isn’t on Otis, but it isn’t going to work either.

Miz almost has to win here, as at least you can imagine him cashing in and taking a thrashing for daring to step to Reigns. It makes a lot more sense than Otis, and while I feel bad for Otis losing everything, a Tucker turn wouldn’t shock me. They almost have to do it here though, and that’s going to make things a little bit easier for everyone involved. Well save for Otis of course but you get the idea.

SmackDown World Title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. Jey Uso

Much like their previous match, this isn’t so much about who leaves as champion as much as how they get there, and in this case, what happens next. This story has turned more into a way of knowing what is coming but still making it interesting, which is actually a heck of a trick. Reigns has turned into something from another planet as of late and I could go for a lot more of him on top, especially if he has some lackeys with him.

Of course Reigns wins here, and it is going to be brutal to watch. That is exactly what they should be doing too and under the right circumstances, this could steal the show all over again. Reigns can turn up the brutality when he needs to and Uso is a pretty snappy underdog. Letting these two do it again inside the Cell is interesting, but they already have months worth of story ready for when Reigns wins. Good storytelling has gotten Reigns this far and it is going to get him a lot further than this after another successful title defense.

SmackDown Women’s Title: Bayley(c) vs. Sasha Banks

this is one of the most confusing and also interesting matches on the show. The story has been a very long time in the making and they have set this up very well. It’s good enough to make an exception for the first (real) match in the feud taking place inside the Cell but that leaves a heck of a question: what happens here? They really could stretch this out for several more months and possibly even make it a featured match at WrestleMania (if not the headliner), but that might be asking too much.

I think I’m going to go with Bayley retaining here, maybe by some shenanigans, as there seems to be some steam to this feud and if they play it right, this could go on all the way to WrestleMania. I’m not sure I want it to or if that’s a good idea, but I think they have Bayley hold onto the title for one more month at least. If nothing else, have Bayley debut some kind of a bodyguard that Banks has to beat next month to set up something in December. I wouldn’t be shocked at all if Banks wins, but I kind of don’t want her to just yet.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre(c) vs. Randy Orton

Yes we’re still on this feud that started back in July and I’m kind of over the whole thing. I don’t need to see them fight again though for some reason that’s what we’re getting for a third time. Orton isn’t the kind of guy who is going to lose over and over again on pay per view, but at the same time, he’s now 40 years old and someone who has been a made man for at least ten years. A loss wouldn’t kill him, but how much does McIntyre get after beating him twice already?

I’ll take Orton to win here, though I’d love to see McIntyre hold onto the title. Either way, I think McIntyre gets it back before WrestleMania 37 ends, though at some point he has to lose to make that a possibility. Orton tacking on another World Title isn’t the worst idea, but it isn’t a match I really need to see again as they are already repeating the same setup that got us to Summerslam.

Overall Thoughts

I keep thinking I’ve left something out of this and somehow that isn’t the case. I’m not sure why they only have five matches set for a pay per view less than twenty four hours in advance, but WWE has only had a month to set this up and that’s a lot of scripts that can be torn in half in advance. The big matches are set and that’s what matters, but dang man. How hard is it to announce a few matches on Talking Smack or Raw Talk?

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 1991
Date: November 27, 1991
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Gorilla and Bobby talk for a bit.

Team Ric Flair vs. Team Roddy Piper

Ric Flair, Ted DiBiase, The Mountie, The Warlord

Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Virgil

Sherri is sent to the back and Roddy brings in Smith. The good guys work over the arm of DiBiase with Virgil of all people getting the biggest pop. After all four go in they start going around again with all four getting in another set of shots on the arm. Bret stays in but misses a knee in the corner to put himself in trouble. They trade near falls before Bret takes Ted right back down by the arm.

Rating: B. Gah this was going AWESOME until the pretty lame ending. Having Flair be the sole survivor is a smart move though as it makes the fans hate him even more. This was a GREAT setup though and was on pace to be a classic before the ending. To be fair though, at the pace they were going the match would have been an hour long if they were going to do a full version. Still though, what we got was very good.

Gorilla thinks Tuesday in Texas may be on TV! I think he might be wrong here.

Team Mustafa vs. Team Slaughter

Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Sgt. Slaughter, Tito Santana, Jim Duggan, Texas Tornado

Skinner is an alligator wrestler from the Everglades and Berzerker is a crazy viking who tried to stab Undertaker with a sword. A lot of these guys are on their way out. Hercules would be in WCW by May, Tornado would job to the stars until leaving in July, as would Mustafa (Iron Sheik). The rest of the guys would do nothing of note for the rest of their time in the company.

Rating: F. The match was awful, it was never in doubt, and the biggest deal on the heel team was Skinner, who would get an Intercontinental Title shot soon after this. What a horrible match and one of the most worthless ones in the history of the show so far, which is covering quite a bit of ground. Nothing to see here at all.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Rating: D. Yeah this match completely sucked but we have a new champion and a reason to watch Flair vs. Hogan, which never happened for various reason. Hogan would beat Undertaker for the title at Tuesday in Texas six days later, but the title would be held up and decided in the Rumble, where Flair would win it and set up Wrestlemania. Bad match, but a BIG moment.

People come out to check on Hogan as Gorilla rips into Flair. Hogan takes a while to leave, likely to let the fans get over some of their shock.

Roddy is in the back and goes on a big rant against Tunney and Flair andUndertaker.

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Nasty Boys, Beverly Brothers

Rockers, Bushwhackers

Gorilla and Bobby plug Tuesday in Texas again.

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

This is your main event people. Let that sink in for a minute. The LOD are the Tag Team Champions and IRS (Irwin R. Schyster, a tax auditor) and Boss Man are having a worthless midcard feud. Boss Man and IRS start things off with the tax man getting thrown all over the place. Off to Animal vs. Earthquake which wakes the crowd up a bit.

Earthquake wants to fight IRS now but walks off with Typhoon instead, making it the LOD vs. IRS. Hawk powerslams IRS down but a charge goes shoulder first into the post. Hawk gets sent face first into the steps as we continue to fill time by having IRS look like he has a chance. We hit the chinlock as the announcers talk about Thanksgiving dinner. A not very hot tag brings in Animal who cleans whatever is left in the house. IRS tries to walk out but runs into Boss Man in the aisle. Back in and Hawk hits a top rope clothesline for the win.

Gene is in the bowels of the building with Bearer and Undertaker. Hogan will rest in peace. In Texas. They look in a casket to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Team Flair vs. Team Piper

Original: A-

Redo: B

Team Slaughter vs. Team Mustafa

Original: F

Redo: F

Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: C-

Redo: D

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Original: D

Redo: D

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating:

Original: D+

Redo: D-

A little worse this time, but the same problems still plague this show. Screw you Vince.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1991-here-lies-hogan/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 1991
Date: November 27, 1991
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 17,500
Commenators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Ok, so due to Microsoft and their annoying automatic updates that no one actually knows what they’re good for, I lost 91-94, so this is the second time I’ve reviewed these four shows. Therefore if I seem a bit annoyed, that’s why. Anyway, the main thing here is simple: Vince has more or less given up on the idea of having all Survivor Series matches and has given us a traditional main event match, in this case, Taker challenging Hogan for the world title.

Also, Flair has jumped ship to the WWF in a huge botch on WCW’s part. Finally, the hottest feud in the world right now is Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage, but I’ll get to why I’m ticked off about that in just a few minutes. Other than that, the show is pretty much what you would expect.

The roster is changing a bit though; with it being more like the early 90s look than what we had seen for years before. It was a pretty bad show when I watched it two weeks ago, so maybe it’s somehow improved since then.

We get the logo and everything with a huge banner over it saying 5th Annual. Is it really something we need to know that badly? Within 30 seconds of the start of the show we’re hearing about the Roberts vs. Macho situation. So here’s the idea: Savage lost the career ending match at Mania and is officially retired. However, he’s trying to get reinstated since no one really stays retired (are you listening Ric Flair?).

Roberts had been supposed to feud with the Warrior for a huge program but Warrior was a jerk and got fired, which you can read about in my Summerslam 91 review. Anyway, they instead paired him with Savage for this. This past Sunday (this show is airing on Wednesday which was the tradition back in the day) Roberts got Savage into the ring and tied him up in the ropes before pulling out a cobra. Before I go on, does that sound like some latent sexual issues or is it just me?

Anyway, Savage get bit by the cobra and they can’t get it off of him. The crowd is so into this it’s unreal. Eventually they get him out of it and Savage tries to fight back but can’t stand up because of the “venom”. In one of the absolute funniest moments I can ever remember in wrestling, Vince is FREAKING over this and actually doing a great job on the mic which is a lot more than he usually does.

However, as Savage is being put on the stretcher, we cut to a kid in the audience crying and Vince absolutely loses it. He’s cracking up and since Piper ran to the ring to help Savage, there’s no one to bail him out here. It’s just great as he’s trying to stay serious but just can’t do it because he’s holding back laughter.

I guarantee that whoever did that cut was fired. I can’t imagine they weren’t. So anyway, after all that (they showed the entire segment which was about 4 minutes long), we go to Jack Tunney who says that this is his fault and he’s to blame for what Jake did.

Now we get to the big part: Savage will not be allowed to wrestle tonight, and Jake has been pulled from his match as well. HOWEVER, Savage is reinstated and will face Roberts at ANOTHER PPV called Tuesday in Texas, SIX FREAKING DAYS AFTER THIS SHOW. Remember, the incident that they’re referencing was three days prior to this. They’re changing the main event three days before the show so that they can hook in more PPV buys for ANOTHER show six days after it. That my friends is nonsense.

I’m sorry but that just doesn’t work. The fans are already paying 30 dollars for this show and they don’t get the real main event out of it? Hogwash. Instead Vince says for only 20 dollars more you can see the main event that you paid for here. I get that Vince was running low on money at this point, but there comes a point where you’re just screwing the fan too much. This is stupid on all levels. If you want to do this, give the people more than 72 hours notice.

How many people do you think might have missed Superstars and not known about this until after the show had started and their money had been paid? Again, that’s nonsense. I’m legit ticked off again over this, with the only thing that’s keeping me calm being Tunney’s licking of his lips in this promo. It’s just weird looking. He looks like he’s getting ready to eat an ice cream cone or something. This whole segment was just designed to tick off fans.

But hey! In six days, you can pay us MORE money to see this match, so make sure you order the other show. Gorilla and Bobby plug the show even more before we start our first match, 6 minutes into the show. Ok make that 7.

Roddy Piper’s Team vs. Ric Flair’s Team

Piper: Bret Hart, Virgil, Davey Boy Smith
Flair: Ted DiBiase, Warlord, Mountie

The feuds actually match up here as Piper and Flair were feuding, DiBiase and Virgil had just finished feuding, Hart and the Mountie would clash over the IC belt in a few weeks and Smith and Warlord were arguing over who was stronger. Wow a match that actually works out well in that area. I don’t know what to say. Sherri is with DiBiase here.

Actually, all four heels have managers, with (going in order listed above) Mr. Perfect, Sherri, Harvey Whippleman and Jimmy Hart. They can’t stay at ringside though. Flair is out now with a censored belt. Ok so this deserves an in depth explanation as well I guess. Back in the 80s, wrestling was based on the territory system as you likely know. Most companies were part of the NWA but all had their own champions and talent (think of it like the NCAA with its conferences).

However, there was still an NWA world champion that went around the country defending his title everywhere. This you likely know or have at least heard of. Now like I said, there were all kinds of territories. One guy in the south started to buy a bunch of them and join them into a superterriory.

This man’s name was Jim Crockett who you’ve likely heard of. He turned it into what you now know as WCW, but it wasn’t known as that at the time. Anyway, he tried to go to war with Vince but just didn’t have the money to do it. He eventually sold to Ted Turner, who changed the name to World Championship Wrestling.

Turner slowly started to fade away from the NWA stuff as he and Crockett had realized the same thing: WCW was the NWA at this point. He owned all the talent and the NWA championship (the big gold belt was made by Crockett for Flair. Before that they had used a different one.) Now at the time, Flair was still the NWA champion, but was also the WCW champion.

This was represented by the same belt though, as more or less it was the same title but officially it wasn’t. It’s very complicated no matter how you look at it so if that doesn’t make sense to you, don’t be surprised. So Turner brought in a bunch of people that had no freaking clue how to run a wrestling company, with the main one being Jim Herd. Herd looked at Flair and thought that he was washed up and past his prime.

This was abdsurd as well since Flair was not only world champion but the top draw still. Herd thought the Nature Boy gimmick was stupid and wanted to change Flair into, and I’m not making this up, a bald gladiator. Yes, he wanted to drop one of the most famous gimmicks in history to make him a stupid character.

As Kevin Sullivan put it, “after we change Flair’s gimmick, let’s go change Babe Ruth’s number.” Flair, having a brain, told Herd that this wasn’t going to work. Herd, being the idiot that he was, decided he knew more wrestling than Flair and told him that Flair would do it or be fired.

Now this is where Flair had him. Since, like everyone that knew what they were talking about, Flair knew that he could walk straight into the WWF and be launched right to the top of the show, he didn’t back down. Herd fired him and Vince got a nice big present called Ric Flair just handed to him. Now let’s get to the interesting part. When he was fired, Flair was still WCW and NWA champion.

Yes, Herd was dumb enough to fire him BEFORE changing the title. See what kind of idiot he was? He was stripped of the WCW Title which was then put in a match between Luger and Barry Windham, which was booed out of the building with chants of WE WANT FLAIR! The winner didn’t matter, because no one was going to take them seriously as champion, and why should they have? They never beat Flair for the title so they were in essence fighting for the number one contender spot.

No one bought it and the title was hurt badly for the next year and a half since instead of watching fake champions, they turned the channel to USA to see how the real WCW champion did in the WWF. Now the REAL interesting part lies in the NWA title. Like I said, Flair held both titles which were represented by the same belt.

The NWA had a policy for its world champions: you win the title, you pay 25,000 dollars as a deposit on it. The deal was done to prevent people from showing up in other companies with the title. In other words, you rented it. Once you lost the belt you got the money back with interest on it.

Now that’s fine and good. Flair paid the deposit and all was well and good. However, once he was fired from WCW he was stripped of the belt and was told to return it to the NWA. Flair said he’d be glad to do it as soon as he was given his money back. Problem: the NWA didn’t have it. Flair says well then you don’t have a belt either. He took it to Vince and used it in a gimmick, calling himself the REAL world’s champion.

The NWA panicked since there was no way they could let this happen. They took Flair to court over it and were laughed out of the room since they had absolutely no case. They made a deal with Flair and weren’t living up to their end of it. Therefore, there was nothing they could do to keep Flair from using the title on WWF TV. It was his property so he could do whatever he wanted with it.

Eventually Flair went back to WCW and let them use the belt after they paid him what he was owed. The big gold belt became the WCW Title and the rest is history. WCW left the NWA in about 1993 and the NWA tried to revive itself with a tournament in Philadelphia. I think you know what happened there.

Anyway, the point of this was that during this time, the NWA got a temporary injunction against Flair to keep him from using the big gold belt but the angle kept going anyway with other belts being used in its place. Tonight it’s a tag title, which is blacked out but at times you can see the edges of it. How weird would that have been? Flair is just standing there holding up one of the tag titles. Oh yeah we’ve got a match to do too. Let’s get to it.

Hart’s pop is INSANE. They knew what they had here and that would be made apparent as next year at this time he would be world champion. We start off with DiBiase vs. Piper. That’s a very interesting match that I don’t think ever had a big time feud. They of course have a great match here as my amazement never ends as to how DiBiase never got a title run. They of course have a great mini-match here since they’re both awesome.

Sherri comes in for interference but it of course backfires since Piper was practically a main eventer and such things don’t bother him at all. Now we get Virgil, who for some reason gets a pop. This is even more reason for me to hate what they’re pulling tonight. The crowd is white hot, so instead of giving them a big match, let’s give it to people in a week. Yeah that’s very good work there guys. Way to support your fans.

The face team spends about three minutes just killing DiBiase with all three guys getting in a lot of work on him. Finally he gets out and we get Flair vs. Hart. Even back then we knew it was something special. Bret was so on at this time that it’s unbelievable. The Heenan cheering for Flair is just funny stuff. Now the faces take their turns beating up on Flair. About 5 minutes straight is just faces beating on DiBiase and Flair.

Despite that, this is very entertaining either way as both guys are big time heels so the beatings work well and the crowd is WAY into this. Piper comes in to beat up Flair some and it’s so loud you can barely hear much. He finally gets out and we have Warlord and Bulldog in a test of strength. Due to some expected heel cheating, Bulldog is in trouble now as the Mountie continues to crack me up with how completely over the top he is with his gimmick. It’s so ridiculously insane that it’s greatness.

We get a funny bit as we see Jimmy in the back PANICKING since he can’t be out there with the Mountie. Managers really are a lost art indeed today. They’re something that can really enhance a character yet for some reason they’re never used anymore. I don’t get that. Being a manager requires two things: being able to talk and being able to take a beating once in awhile. Seriously, is that something that sounds next to impossible or next to that difficult even? I don’t get it.

It’s just not that hard to me, at least in theory. Instead we get people like Santino and Abraham Washington. Why not make one of them a manager? Nope, instead everything has to be about comedy instead of enhancing a character. Yep, you have to love that.

Bret comes in so Mountie bails as fast as he can, giving us Bret vs. DiBiase again so I can’t complain. Smith comes in after about 8 seconds of this as Mountie is tagged in. It’s brawl time and note: Gorilla says that the legal men are Flair and Smith, which would be wrong. Anyway, Smith hits the powerslam on Mountie but Flair goes to the tope and hits a double axe handle shot to the back of Davey’s head.

He rolls him over and pins him as Gorilla is freaking out about how Flair wasn’t legal, despite him saying that he was not 20 seconds before this. I love the confusion that is Gorilla Monsoon a lot of the time. Piper immediately runs in to beat on Flair, despite him not being legal in the match but who cares about something stupid like legality? All four people beat on Piper for a bit as the fans are still way into this match. That’s a good sign that after about eleven minutes we’re still this into a match.

Piper puts the figure four on Flair to a HUGE pop. Virgil comes in to fight Mountie who is terrified of him. For some reason, no one wants to fight Virgil. Why not? The guy just wasn’t that big of a deal. All that mattered in his career was that he beat DiBiase one time. That’s all anyone ever actually cared about and it was indeed a cool moment. However, once that angle ended, which it had by this point since DiBiase got the belt back, he was just Virgil, a bald guy that threw decent punches.

There’s just nothing really to market there and it turned into nothing at all because there was just nothing they could do with him at this point. It’s the quintessential difference between having a gimmick and being a character. A gimmick is something like Repo Man. He was something that you could throw in with anyone at all and the gimmick would work fine. John Cena is a character. He’s just a man that goes out there and wrestles really well.

There’s more depth to him, but it’s harder to put him with someone because you have to build something up with him. Also, it takes away from the creativity of the storylines with him as you can’t really do much other than have it be about respect or a challenge or so and so wants the title etc. It leads to some very boring and generic storylines.

There’s no right or wrong answer about what’s better, but for someone like Virgil with limited skills and charisma, a gimmick would have worked much better for him. The same holds true for Cena as a gimmick would be awful for him. It’s usually the bigger a star you are, the less you need a gimmick. He and Flair go at it for a bit and as usual, Flair loses at first only to make his comeback and look dominant.

A lot of people say that Flair’s style is boring. I disagree. Yes, he does the same stuff a lot of the time, but how many truly bad Flair matches can you remember, and I’m not talking about when he was all old and likely not legally considered alive. I’m talking about when he was in shape and not old. Think about it: the guy had good matches because he had a formula.

Flair gets beaten on, he makes a small comeback, gets beaten on again, makes a big comeback, goes for the leg, gets the figure four, the face gets to the ropes, and then the finish. The matches worked though and that’s all that mattered. Then you would get idiots like Dusty Rhodes who of course just couldn’t do things the intelligent way and had to have his style of match with Flair, which made them a lot worse.

Those aren’t Flair’s fault. Dusty is to be blamed for those since he’s the one that screwed them up by having to wrestle his horrible style. Dang I’m going on a lot of tangents here. Anyway, Hart does the nice thing and throws Virgil back in to get beaten on some more.

Full nelson goes on but Bret breaks it up to let Piper pin Warlord in the exact same thing that got rid of Bulldog. Well played Hitman. Everybody beats on DiBiase a bit more, with even Virgil getting in some solid stuff. Flair however just ends that as he becomes my hero. Heenan is singing Flair’s praises which never gets old as he even threatens to have Gorilla thrown out. The response of silence is just funny.

Virgil gets beaten on for about three minutes to set up the ending that I hate. He gets DiBiase down and heads for the corner. Both Piper and Flair come in for a big fight, but then the other four come in. Flair gets knocked to the floor and we have a big brawl. Then to end the match, 5 people are disqualified except for Flair because he was on the floor, making him the sole survivor. I get that they wanted to push Flair, but this match was so awesome up to this point that I wanted to see them go longer.

It’s not like they were short on time. Later on the tag team match gets twenty minutes. You could have given this another ten and it would have been fine, but then again, I’m no professional.

Rating: A-. This match was awesome. The crowd was way into it, the wrestlers were all on fire, the feuds made perfect sense, the pacing was good, and then the ending screwed all that up. Yeah here the main issue is the ending, which was just flat out bad. It put Flair over which was the point of the match, but I wish there was another way they could have done it. Either way, this was a very fun and entertaining match. Now if only the rest of the show is this good, which I doubt.

Savage and Liz say to buy Tuesday In Texas. Screw you both. Actually no, just screw Vince and his greed.

Team Slaughter vs. Team Mustafa

Slaughter, Duggan, Texas Tornado, Tito Santana
Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Oh this is going to be bad. It’s like the 80s died and this is the corpse. Basically, it’s America vs. not America here, with Mustafa being more commonly known as Iron Sheik. He had managed Slaughter during his heel run but now Slaughter is red white and blue again so all is fine and dandy. Duggan makes sense to be there, Tornado and Santana are midcard faces. Berzerker, Skinner and Hercules…eh they’re just there to fill in the dates their contracts say they have to work.

Yeah this is going to be pretty bad. Look at the face team. It’s a former world champion, a former NWA champion, a two time IC champion, and Duggan who was always in the upper midcard. They’re against a guy that used to be world champion but that’s not mentioned here and three career jobbers. Yeah this is going to go GREAT. I love how Slaughter can go so evil and then in just a few months he’s a beloved face again. Yeah it’s stupider than it sounds.

The most entertaining part about this match is Gorilla and Heenan arguing. You can tell they’re fairly bored out there and I can’t blame them at all. This match is just boring. There’s no point to it, there’s no reason to want to watch it, and there’s nothing of interest going on. You can tell this was just thrown together and that’s never a good thing. I don’t care about seeing these people fight because they’re just beating on each other with no particular rhyme or reason.

Heenan says some lines about Middle Eastern people that are borderline racist but not quite. Now we get to the best part of the match: the part where the bookers thought it was ok to have Sheik in there for over two minutes straight. Seriously, why? The guy can barely move and he’s going to carry the match? Yeah I think you’re getting why I hate this imbecile. They fill in the void by talking about the Taker vs. Hogan match which is fan better and more interesting.

Sheik gets pinned by a Slaughter clothesline that wasn’t anything special at all. Yeah, this might be the worst Survivor Series match of all time. It’s just flat out boring in all aspects. After about 5 minutes since Sheik got beaten, the other three heels are dispatched in less than two minutes total. Duggan dances around like this is a big deal. Apparently he was captain?

Rating: F. This was just awful. It wasn’t interesting, there was no story, the winners were never once in doubt, and it was just not any good. This was just completely pointless on all levels and was just there to fill in about 20 minutes counting the introductions. Egads what a horrible match.

The winning team walks down the hallway and says they can’t wait to see this match on video. Yeah that wasn’t pointless at all.

Jake Roberts says you should buy Tuesday in Texas. Somehow this takes five minutes to say.

We recap Hogan vs. Taker. They don’t mention how he got the title shot, but they make it obvious that Flair is going to be involved in this. On the Funeral Parlor, Taker’s segment, Flair confronted Hogan which led to Taker beating him down with the urn. Savage and Piper ran out to help him and couldn’t really do anything.

Savage hits Taker with the chair but Taker just knocks it away. That was awesome. Also, Taker rips the cross off the neck of Hogan, which is a direct homage to Andre 4 years prior to this. Taker was billed as undefeated here, despite having lost a bunch of matches to Warrior.

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

So this is the first non Survivor Series match in the history of the show, which I think was what was needed. Since it’s the main event, of course it’s the shortest match on the show. We could have a problem here though as neither guy is going to sell crap here. Gorilla tries to convince us that they’re the same size. That’s just amusing. He goes on to say that Hogan has quickness and agility. I’m sorry but that’s just hilarious.

Hogan looks scared to death which is awesome. Bearer of course gets in his shots as Taker is in control. You have to remember that he’s only been around about a year at this point. This would be like Cena vs. Swagger in the main event of a major PPV for the title. Apparently it’s a big deal that Hogan can’t slam Taker despite him hitting Hogan as he goes up. Yeah that’s not a big deal at all. Taker gets clotheslined over the ropes and lands on his feet.

That’s always a cool looking spot and it makes it look like the move did nothing at all. The never ending debate about what’s in the urn continues. Was that ever answered? Taker’s tattoos interest me. Given his gimmick, what must that day in the tattoo place have been like?

Gorilla is of course freaking out over Bearer as Heenan says his monitor keeps kicking in and out. Monsoon says he’s going to start kicking Heenan in and out in a bit. Those two are just great together. There’s a Hogan lookalike at ringside who is leading cheers. It’s really quite amusing. Taker uses a smother on Hogan. That’s an interesting move as he just covers Hogan’s face with his hand.

That’s both good and bad as it looks a lot more effective than some moves do, while at the same time really being nothing at all. Heenan naturally can’t hear Monsoon, which is odd as he has that big headset on. Ok the smother doesn’t need to go on for two minutes. Taker does the eye roll that never gets old. Hogan makes his comeback but after more interference he takes a tombstone. Naturally he pops right up and starts his finishing sequence.

Bearer’s reaction to Hogan popping up is just great. As he goes for the legdrop, Flair comes out and touches his belt. Hogan, feeling a sense of animalistic pride, goes out and stops him. He puts Taker down again and goes for the leg but Bearer grabs him.

As he’s got the referee, Flair puts in a chair and Taker tombstones him on it for the title to more or less kill Hulkamania. Taker’s slow walk to the back with the belt is nothing short of greatness. Also, if Hogan isn’t legit hurt here, he needs an acting award. He looks completely gone.

Rating: C-. Again, this is a match where the historical aspect far outweighs the wrestling that you saw on display. Hogan losing at this point was a big deal, but he was getting very little reaction in this match. His time had simply gone by this point and it wasn’t working anymore.

That’s all fine and good, so Vince decided to take a BIG gamble and have him lose here. There would be a rematch in 6 days, but Hogan would only hold the title for a few days before it was declared vacant with the winner of the Rumble getting it. Hogan wouldn’t hold it again for over a year.

All the faces say they’re going to win.

All the heels say they’re going to win.

Tunney announces the rematch with Hogan and Taker for next Tuesday. Yep, it’s only 20 dollars and you get two main events, which you were supposed to get tonight, but screw that idea.

Nasty Boys/Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwackers/Rockers

The Rockers are on the verge of splitting up at this point with the Barber Shop happening in just under two months. As for the other three teams, they’re just there. Yes, this is the match that gets over 20 minutes and is the longest of the night. What in the world was Vince on tonight? This makes tonight even more of a slap in the face of the fans as we get 23 minutes of this and no Savage/Roberts.

Yeah that’s just great Vince, thanks for screwing over every person that pair their money to see this match. The Rockers are just ungodly over here, so of course they were being split up. We start off with Butch and Knobbs. Gorilla says no one knows more about surviving than the Bushwackers. Um, what? They do their comedy act as I can’t believe they still had jobs at this point. Somehow they would last until 1994.

Yep, no one cares about this match at all, but since the theme of the night seems to be how can we screw the audience over even more than we have earlier on in the night, it of course goes on and on and on. Luke, who once licked my at a house show, is gone fairly early due to a Brian Knobbs flying clothesline. Yep, that’s the kind of match that this is going to be: the kind where a flying clothesline that more or less sucked can get an elimination.

Can’t you tell how excited I am to be reviewing this match AGAIN? Oh I’m in heaven here people! Anyway, Marty comes in then and is looking either confused or stoned out of his mind. It’s likely both. Heenan, being as bored as ever, starts an argument with himself.

Heenan goes on to say that had Hogan not gone after Flair he would have won, which is likely correct. After more bad offense from both teams, Butch is put out following a weird double team move. It was supposed to start with a backdrop and end with a facebuster, but instead it looked like a bad botch. It was kind of like a 3D but nowhere near as cool looking or effective.

I think the Beverlies were supposed to be rich guys but I’m not sure. We’re down to Rockers vs. all four. Shawn starts getting his head handed to him as I’m sure Becca would love to steal it but that’s a different story. After getting beaten on forever, Shawn hooks a quick backslide and pins Beau. So now it’s Marty’s turn to get beaten up on for a good while as still nothing happens. We’re nearly 20 minutes into this and Marty puts on an armbar.

Yeah and you wonder why Shawn was given the big push. Shawn gets the tag leading to all five guys being in there at once. During this, Marty slams Sags but his feet hit Shawn in the face to let him get rolled up for the pin. Shawn is LIVID. He looks like he’s about to kill Marty but it doesn’t happen and Shawn goes to the back to leave it at three on one.

Jannetty fights as much as he can but even after some cool looking spots, he goes out to a bad small package. Seriously, it just looked awful. Marty’s shoulder was up and yet he got counted down anyway. It was just bad on all levels.

Rating: D. This was just BORING. Look at the opening match and then look at this one. The first one was a minute shorter yet I had FAR more to say about it. This was just boring and it’s a great example of how two matches can be completely different. The first one was interesting, sharp and fun. This was long, boring and sloppy. Granted it could be more about a lack of talent in this one but I digress.

This was just not good and there was absolutely NO need to give this nearly 25 minutes. You had a great match to open the show that would have been an A+ had it been given a few more minutes. The world title match could have used another 2-3 minutes. Yeah I know I say that a lot and in most cases there just isn’t enough time to go around. In this case, there should have been all kinds of time to go around but instead it got wasted here. That’s inexcusable.

With nothing else to say or do, it’s main event time.

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

Yep, this is the main event. Even at a house show this is a weak match, but here at the “Let’s screw the fans show”, it’s the main event. Apparently this was supposed to be Sid on the face team and Roberts on the heel team. Sid got hurt so they were going to put Savage in, but due to the move on Sunday, which means Vince’s greed, he got pulled and they took off Roberts too, since IRS is FAR ahead of Roberts on the company totem pole.

Anyway, IRS and Boss Man start, despite having no animosity at this point in time. LOD and the Disasters were feuding, but other than that, there’s little point to this. I really want this to end soon. Nope, apparently we’re in for the long match here as it’s generic offense all around to start. Yep, again, no one really cares about this match because we haven’t been given a reason to care.

The announcers clearly aren’t interested in the match at all as they bicker. Rule of thumb: the more bickering you hear between the announcers, the more bored they are. Finally after five minutes of people hitting each other and doing shoulder blocks, we get something interesting as Boss Man has IRS in trouble but he gets a metal briefcase to the head and is pinned. Unfortunately this messes up Gorilla’s rant about how Flair stole the title from Hogan.

Also, apparently there has to be something in the briefcase because it being made of metal isn’t enough to knock out Boss Man. Yeah that makes sense. So now it’s LOD against the three of them. Since they’re the tag champions at the moment, I doubt they’ll lose. As I say this, we get the fourth plug for Tuesday in Texas. We get it already guys.

Vince wants our money and if we want to see the big matches we were promised we have to pay another 20 dollars next week. As if we haven’t had enough excitement in this match, it’s time for a BEARHUG. Gorilla: I think he’s wasting time with this hold. I would agree if the last word was match. IRS goes for the briefcase again but it misses and hits Typhoon in the head and eliminates him. Quake is TICKED.

He’s ticked enough that he leaves with Typhoon. So it’s IRS 1-2 with the tag team champions. What happens of course? It goes on for 6 minutes. My goodness give me a break. Finally the LOD wake up and hits a top rope clothesline to end this which Gorilla says was inevitable. See, even he knew this was how it was going to end. Hey let’s plug Texas again. Heenan says it’ll be better than tonight. It couldn’t be much worse.

Rating: D. Again, this was BORING. There was no point to this being a six man. If they wanted to just have the faces win to end the show, do the smart thing and just make this a tag team title match. A few things are accomplished by doing that. Number one, it makes the match at least seem important.

Sure the LOD would keep the belts, but at least it would have had a sense of meaning to it instead of just a random match like this. Second, it would have been far more logical than this. Anyway, this was just bad and boring, but the faces won and the fans went home happy, so that’s good I guess.

Gene is in the catacombs of the arena. Joe Louis Arena has catacombs? Cool? Anyway, Bearer says that Hulkamania died tonight and plugs Texas to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. The first match on this show was awesome. It goes downhill fast. I don’t know what the heck they were thinking on this show. Wait, yes I do. The fans will buy one PPV. That means they’ll but a second. Seriously, this was sickening to see from the WWF. There’s no call for pulling the big match three days before the show just to have a one on one match six days later. I’m sorry but that’s not right.

Also, it was a Survivor Series match tonight. How hard would it have been to have them in there but just have them do a double count out with Jake running away or a double DQ or something like that? You give the people what they paid to see, you tease them with the big match just a bit more, and THEN you put the big match on the card in six days. That’s fine with me, but don’t advertise this as being the big match between Randy and Jake and then not have it.

Let them have their quick thing here and then let them do the match Tuesday. That’s all well and good. Other than that, this historic moment with Taker winning his first title mixed with an awesome opening match isn’t enough to make this work anything though, so it’s not recommended at all. The first match is worth seeing though.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Smackdown
Date: May 26, 2006
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Judgment Day and Rey Mysterio is still World Champion. I’m not sure why that is going to be seen as a good thing as Mysterio was destroyed for weeks on end before surviving against JBL on Sunday. Next up is the Great American Bash but we have about two months before then. Let’s get to it.

Here is Judgment Day if you need a recap.

We open with a quick package on the pay per view.

Here’s JBL in the ring to call out Mysterio for a rematch right now. Mysterio comes out to say he would take on all comers, just like he did with JBL on Sunday. Rey: “AND I BEAT YOU!” Rey doesn’t see JBL defending his US Title so JBL says he’ll face anyone anytime. You really shouldn’t say that because Rey has an idea.

US Title: Bobby Lashley vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is defending and sends him into the corner to start. That earns him a hard stare and Lashley tosses him around. A big boot and some right hands in the corner have Lashley down but the Clothesline From JBL misses. Lashley spears him for the pin and the title in less than a minute and a half.

Post break JBL storms into Teddy Long’s office and grabs Long by the suit, shouting about everything that just happened. Long isn’t having that but he’ll make a deal: JBL vs. Mysterio for the title tonight, but if JBL loses, he quits Smackdown.

Tatanka vs. Simon Dean

This is Tatanka’s big debut as a member of the Lakota tribe. Dean, in lime green, cranks on the arm to start but gets chopped for his efforts. There’s a suplex as well but Dean takes him into the corner for some racial stereotypes. Tatanka slugs him down though and hits a running shoulder. The Wykea (slam into a spinning Rock Bottom) finishes Dean in a hurry.

Rating: D+. So yeah, it’s still Tatanka about fifteen years after the start of his original run, meaning it feels rather out of place. That and it just wasn’t very good in the first place, as Tatanka was only ok more often than not. It was just a quick match but I can’t bring myself to get all that interested in Tatanka.

Matt Hardy is in Long’s office when Paul Heyman comes in. With Matt gone, Heyman praises Smackdown but Long doesn’t trust him. He thinks Heyman is here to steal talent so Heyman leaves, seemingly with no issues.

Chris Benoit vs. Mark Henry

3 6 Mafia plays Henry to the ring. Henry shoves him around to start but Benoit is right back up (duh) with the series of chops. With Henry shoving Benoit again, Benoit tries and fails at the Crossface with Henry gorilla pressing him. Benoit slips out and goes for the knee, followed by an enziguri to really rock him. A dropkick puts Henry on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Benoit working on the arm but getting splashed in the corner. Henry hits a clothesline to the back of the neck and just steps on Benoit for a more basic offense. We hit the reverse chinlock and then do it again for a bonus. Henry lets go so he can miss a splash, allowing Benoit to grab the Crossface. They fight to the floor with Henry driving him into the post a few times….and getting disqualified as a result.

Rating: C. This was an interesting way to go as Benoit isn’t going to back down but it can be rather difficult to break Henry, giving us a surprisingly good match. Henry has a bad reputation but he can work well against the right kind of opponent, which is where Benoit shines. Not too bad here and the ending should set up a rematch.

Post match Henry does it again, causing Benoit to bleed from the mouth. Henry bends his back around the ropes until referees come out to break it up.

Here’s William Regal to host the official coronation for King Booker T. He brings out Booker and Sharmell, on the throne on the back of a trailer for a pretty big entrance. Regal reads a proclamation off a scroll, sneers at being in Bakersfield, and implores all of us to stand up and hail the new king. Sharmell says we all need to bow down and then gives him the robe and the crown. Booker declares himself king and introduces us to Queen Sharmell. Pyro goes off as Regal shouts LONG LIVE KING BOOKER over and over.

Nunzio asks Vito about rumors of him wearing a dress but Vito shrugs it off.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Nunzio/Vito

Non-title. Kendrick headlocks Nunzio to start and it’s London coming in for a forearm. Vito jumps him from behind though and it’s London getting beaten down in the corner. That doesn’t last long as London fights out and makes the hot tag to Kendrick. House is cleaned in a hurry with Vito being dropkicked to the floor, leaving Nunzio to take Sliced Bread for the pin.

Rating: C-. Completely simple formula based match here as London and Kendrick get their first win as champions. They’re good together with the high flying, fast paced style where it feels like they’re a unit working together to overcome the size difference and that will sever them well long term. It wasn’t a very good match, but it did its thing well enough.

Raw Rebound.

Mr. Kennedy is coming back. Good, as he was getting some momentum before he went away with his injury.

We look at Great Khali squashing Undertaker.

Chavo Guerrero says he has Rey Mysterio’s back and JBL isn’t winning the World Title.

Finlay vs. Paul Burchill

Finlay elbows him in the face and forearms him in the back to start before sending Burchill shoulder first into the post. The Celtic Cross finishes in a hurry.

Post match Finlay pulls up the ring skirt so a small man in a green suit can come out and attack Burchill. Finlay has to pull him off so the small guy can go back underneath the ring. Thus begins a rather long running career for someone who has appeared all over the world in WAY more characters than someone would likely expect.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Rey is defending and have Chavo Guerrero in his corner and if JBL loses, he quits. JBL forearms him down to start as the EDDIE chants are on fast. Rey is whipped into Chavo to knock him of the apron and the Clothesline From JBL connects for the pin….but Rey’s foot is on the rope. Geez people you don’t have to pin Rey all the time. We take a break and come back with JBL stomping Rey in the corner. A super fall away slam gives JBL two and he kicks Rey in the face a few times.

They head outside with JBL hitting another clothesline for two back inside. The sitout bulldog is countered with a crotching though and JBL adds a big boot on the ropes. JBL whips him hard into the steps and then hammers away back inside. Another fall away slam is countered into a DDT though and they’re both down. There’s the 619 but the West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb, meaning we hit those EDDIE chants again.

Three Amigos keep Rey down and he’s bleeding from the mouth to make it worse. With Rey down, JBL unhooks a buckle pad, which certainly won’t come back to haunt him. The referee goes to tie it back so JBL throws Rey into him in the corner. Rey gets JBL down for the 619 but JBL lands on the referee so Rey can’t do anything.

A low blow hits Rey so it’s time for a chair. Chavo tries to take it away and gets his head caved in but Rey hits him low and dropkicks the chair into JBL’s face. The tornado DDT (or spinning tornado DDT according to Cole, because there are all those non-spinning tornadoes) onto the chair sets up the 619 into Dropping The Dime to retain the title.

Rating: C+. Well at least Rey won. I mean, it took help from Chavo, a low blow and a chair to beat someone he beat less than a week ago and he did get pinned during the match. Somehow this is an improvement, and that really shows you how bad things are for Rey at the moment. On the other hand, JBL being beaten by a very small champion who is often associated with Mexican culture is the perfect way for him to go out, which he would do for over a year and a half.

Post match JBL gets the Goodbye Song to end the night.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure what to make of this show as it was some weird cross between setting things up for the future and fallout from the show, but neither are all that interesting. You can probably pencil in Rey vs. Booker as it isn’t like there is another top heel to come after the title, but at this point Rey would be an underdog against a cocker spaniel. Even the title change to start the show off didn’t feel important, which is the case for almost everything around here. That’s a big problem and I don’t think they have an answer anytime soon.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Slamboree 1993
Date: May 23, 1993
Location: The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 7,008
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

It’s another request and I’ve ignored my list of shows for long enough now. This is billed as A Legends Reunion, meaning we could be in for some older wrestlers stealing the show. That being said, it’s 1993 WCW so I wouldn’t get my hopes up. The main event is Davey Boy Smith challenging Vader for the World Title so the confidence isn’t the strongest. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how the legends are here along with the superstars of today. Cool concept but the execution needs to work.

The legends (and there are a lot of them) are in the ring, including Nick Bockwinkel, Dory Funk Jr., Don Owen, Magnum TA, Lou Thesz Dusty Rhodes and many more.

Commentary welcomes us to the show, with Larry saying that time fears only the pyramids and old wrestlers.

Maxx Payne, with his guitar Norma Jean, plays a bunch of men carrying a covered….I guess the word is throne, to the ring. It’s the Fabulous Moolah, who belongs on a list of legends but it’s WEIRD seeing her in WCW.

2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell vs. Bobby Eaton/Chris Benoit

Benoit was still brand new here, having had a match with Scorpio at SuperBrawl and a few TV matches. Other than that, he was basically a complete unknown on the national stage. Scorpio was one of roughly 34 partners Bagwell had during his three year run as Rookie Of The Year. We get some dancing from the faces to start, with Scorpio being a bit better than Bagwell. Benoit and Scorpio start things off with Scorpio sending him down with some early armdrags.

A spinning middle rope crossbody gets two on Benoit, with Eaton hitting his partner by mistake on the save. The villains are cleared from the ring and we settle down to Bagwell working on Eaton’s arm. Eaton is sent over the top, prompting commentary to try and figure out the over the top rule for the 183^rd time. Benoit is whipped into Eaton before a dropkick puts him on the floor as well.

Back in and Bagwell trades arm control with Eaton, who has Benoit distract the referee so he can throw Bagwell over the top. See that one was illegal because a villain did it and it’s too early for a Dusty Finish (if you have a better way to figure out that stupid rule, have at it). Eaton drops the top rope knee (always looks good) on Bagwell and it’s off to Benoit for that hook clothesline of his. Benoit jumps up to the middle rope for a legdrop before it’s back to Eaton.

That means a distraction so Benoit can choke (You can see Eaton walking them through all of these old southern tag spots and that’s great to watch. There’s an art to this and if you have someone who knows what he’s doing, you can get a heck of a match out of people who don’t have much in the way of characters or a feud.).

Benoit comes in for a belly to back suplex into a figure four necklock, with Eaton being right there to grab the hands for the cheating. The top rope splash hits Bagwell’s raised knees though and the hot tag brings in Scorpio to clean house. Everything breaks down with Eaton having to make a save. Eaton hits Benoit by mistake and it’s the Tumbleweed (moonsault twisting into a legdrop, because Scorpio was doing THAT in 1993) for the pin at 9:25.

Rating: C+. See, now this worked out very well and I had a good time with it because it was a nice mixture. You had Benoit and Scorpio there for all of the cool spots and wrestling, with Eaton there to throw in an old spot which would still work every time to tie it together. If you have the talented people in there and the right mixture of styles, you can have a nice match. Or just have Eaton, because he’s one of the best tag team wrestlers ever.

We recap Colonel Robert Parker being beaten up by Van Hammer for not joining up with the Stud Stable. Parker wants revenge, and this won’t end well.

Sid Vicious vs. Van Hammer

This is Sid’s big return as a surprise and it’s a powerbomb for the pin at 35 seconds. Oh yeah that worked, as tends to be the case when Sid keeps things short.

Bischoff is with Red Bastien (he trained the Undertaker) and Bugsy McGraw (hey did you know that Red Bastien trained the Undertaker). Bastien thinks the wrestlers today are younger and faster while McGraw gives his usual promo about everything. By that I mean he isn’t sure which way to turn, walks around a lot, and rambles because he’s kind of nuts. Eric looks a little confused, as most people do. They say hi to their families, and Bugsy thinks Bischoff has on too much makeup.

Dick Murdoch/Don Muraco/Jimmy Snuka vs. Wahoo McDaniel/Blackjack Mulligan/Jim Brunzell

I would ask if these teams were pulled out of a hat but they very well might be, and that’s kind of cool. Mulligan comes in to a big pop and starts cranking on Snuka’s arm. Murdoch grabs Mulligan’s hair from the apron though and the fight is on, with Mulligan grabbing some armdrags. Tony goes into a history of everyone in here, which is quite the fascinating set of details as Tony is trying here. Murdoch needs a breather on the ramp so it’s Muraco coming in, only to get chopped down by McDaniel.

The villains take McDaniel into the corner but he slugs away on Murdoch, allowing the tag off to Brunzell. Just to show off, Murdoch busts out a flying headscissors (Larry: “How could Murdoch get that stomach up that high???”) but Brunzell slaps on a quick sleeper. That’s broken up with ease though and Muraco comes back in with a powerslam. Muraco clotheslines Snuka by mistake but Murdoch is right back in with a neckbreaker.

Rating: C-. All in all, not too bad here as no one looked horrible or anything close to it. That being said, a no contest in a legends match??? They couldn’t have someone take a rollup pin here? That’s about as nuts as you can get on this show, but at least it wasn’t anything bad for the most part.

Mad Dog Vachon wishes he was in the ring and Mr. Assassin wants to fight Dusty Rhodes to settle things once and for all.

Ivan Koloff/Baron Von Raschke vs. Brad Armstrong/Thunderbolt Patterson

Brad, in street clothes, is substituting for Bob Armstrong, and we see clips of him anyway. Patterson says that Bob had a knee surgery and couldn’t be here. That’s all well and good, though I can’t get my head around a Nazi and a Russian teaming together. Patterson and Armstrong clear the ring in a hurry and the fans are rather pleased.

We settle down to Patterson dancing his way out of Raschke’s headlocks so it’s off to Armstrong working on Koloff’s arm. Tony is just firing off history and facts here and sweet goodness it’s amazing to hear this kind of commentary from his mouth. Armstrong gets out of the Claw and brings in Patterson for the gyrating comeback. Everything breaks down and Patterson hits a double chop to pin Raschke at 4:41.

Rating: D. Now this felt more like the bad match that you would have expected under the circumstances. It doesn’t help that Patterson was never good in the ring, Koloff looked old and Raschke has been old for the entire run of his career. That left Armstrong, who was a substitute in jeans. It was a weird fit, but at less than five minutes, it’s hard to get that annoyed.

And now, A Flair For The Gold (Ric Flair’s interview segment on a special set). Ric introduces Fifi the Maid (later his wife/life partner or whatever it is) and we hear Larry say “Hi John” in a line that wasn’t supposed to make air. Anyway Flair is ready to reunite the Horsemen and brings out Arn Anderson, who is ready to take the NWA World Title from Barry Windham. Now we have some bad news: Tully Blanchard isn’t here (in other words, they lied about having the original Horsemen here, which was a major selling point of the show), but Ole Anderson is! Uh, yay.

Ric has someone new on the team though….and it’s Paul Roma, marking probably the lowest point in the history of the Horsemen. Roma was nothing more than a low level/job guy in the WWF for years and now he’s supposed to be a Horseman. This is one of the all time biggest disappointments and it would never work, no matter how much Flair and Anderson tried to get him over. Complete misfire here, but would you expect anything less from 1993 WCW?

Johnny Valentine is on commentary. Ah that John.

Dory Funk Jr. vs. Nick Bockwinkel

Gene Kiniski and Verne Gagne are the seconds. It’s almost weird to see Bockwinkel, who is seven years older, looking ten years younger than Funk. Feeling out process to start with Bockwinkel going after the arm and Funk firing off the uppercuts for a less than scientific method. Bockwinkel’s hammerlock is taken into the corner for more uppercuts and a wristlock from Funk.

A headscissors with an armbar has Funk in trouble before Bockwinkel slams him down, sending Funk outside for a breather. Back in and Funk uppercuts him down, setting up another chinlock. Bockwinkel actually slugs his way out of the corner for two, with Kiniski possibly breaking up the pin. That means some glaring from Bockwinkel, allowing Funk to take him down with a front facelock.

Funk flips out of a Boston crab attempt and grabs a belly to back suplex for two. They fight over a double arm crank as we have five minutes left. You can hear some BORING chants as Funk uppercuts in the corner but Bockwinkel takes him down with a chinlock. Funk fights up and knocks him onto the ramp, setting up a suplex back in with two minutes left.

A piledriver plants Bockwinkel but he gets his foot on the rope. The backslide gives Bockwinkel two but Funk gets the spinning toehold. Bockwinkel grabs the Figure Four so Kiniski comes in for a stomp, which isn’t a DQ. Funk makes the rope and tries a small package but Bockwinkel is in the ropes as time expires at 15:00.

Rating: C. This was a little different as both guys can still do everything, but it wasn’t exactly thrilling. You could tell they were playing to the draw, which made a lot more sense in this match than in the six man. These two are top level legends and I can understand not wanting to say one is better than the other, though it only got exciting in the last few minutes.

Post match all four shake hands for the nice moment.

Lou Thesz is happy to be here and Bob Geigel liked the match. Thankfully Thesz is treated like the legend that he should be, though there is something weird about Mad Dog Vachon getting more time.

Rick Rude/Paul Orndorff vs. Kensuke Sasaki/Dustin Rhodes

Rude is US Champion and Orndorff is TV Champion. Rude mocks the much smaller (by comparison) Sasaki so Sasaki walks around him and shoves Rude HARD into the corner (Sasaki was fairly small but a powerhouse). It’s time to crank on Rude’s arm, with Sasaki picking him up without much effort. Rhodes comes in to work on Orndorff’s arm for a change and it’s Sasaki cranking on a hammerlock.

That doesn’t last long either so it’s back to Dustin vs. Rude in a rematch of how Rude won the US Title. Rhodes hammers away but gets sent outside for the crash on the floor. Back in and Rude snaps off a swinging neckbreaker before handing it back to Orndorff for an elbow to the face. Rude can’t hit a piledriver but Dustin can get in a Tombstone for two. That’s not enough for the hot tag though as Orndorff comes in to take Dustin into the corner, because Orndorff knows how to do the heel thing.

A double should gives us a double knockdown, allowing Dustin to roll over for the hot tag. Sasaki comes in with an atomic drop to Rude, meaning it’s time for a counter hip swivel. Some clotheslines set up a (half) gorilla press and Sasaki throws Rude at Orndorff, who ducks the contact in a landing that was funnier than it should have been. Everything breaks down and Orndorff shoves Sasaki off the top, setting up the Rude Awakening (not a great one) for the pin at 9:45, even with Sasaki flailing on the count.

Rating: C-. This felt like a featured match on Main Event or Saturday Night, meaning that while it was decent, there were some moments in there that looked rather sloppy. Rhodes was just kind of there as well, which is odd given that he was the main challenger for Rude at the moment. Not awful, but it was a weird kind of match.

It’s time for the inaugural Hall of Fame inductions, with Gordon Solie as Master Of Ceremonies. First, we run down a list of legends who have passed away, with one who will be announced later. After a moment, of silence, it’s time to announce the inductees, with each appearing in the ring and receiving a plaque.

Lou Thesz – Like anyone else could have been first.

Verne Gagne – They said this was going across all promotions and this is as good as anyone else.

Mr. Wrestling II – Not the biggest national name, but he was a huge star in his day.

Eddie Graham – If you’ve seen any modern finish, odds are he made it famous (represented by his son Mike).

Lord James Blears and John Tolos love wrestling, with Blears giving Missy Hyatt his monocle.

Sting vs. The Prisoner

That would be Nailz, this would be a Bounty Match (because someone wants Sting taken out) and Prisoner was supposed to be Scott Norton. Prisoner chokes him down to start and chokes even more in the corner, followed by even more choking in the middle. Sting avoids a charge in the corner and the strike off is on, with Prisoner sending him outside. That means a posting for Sting but he avoids a charge in the corner back inside. The Stinger Splash gets two but a regular splash hits knees. Prisoner goes after the referee so Sting goes up top for a clothesline and the pin at 5:17.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Prisoner wasn’t exactly good on his best day and he was even worse here. Sting was the top face in the company at this point and he was in a match against someone thrown out there to give him a victory. It was smart to get them out of there in a hurry though, as there wasn’t much that could be done in this case.

The cage is set up for the next match.

The Crusher, with big cigar, is ready to send Ox Baker’s head through a cage because he wrestled more cage matches than anyone else. Ox Baker loves to hurt people and did it better than Crusher. He loves everyone and nearly gets in a fight with Crusher, but hugs Eric Bischoff instead.

Tag Team Titles: Hollywood Blonds vs. Dos Hombres

The Blonds (Steve Austin/Brian Pillman, which I hope you knew already) are defending in a cage and….egads Dos Hombres. So the Blonds beat Shane Douglas and Ricky Steamboat to win the titles, so they dressed up like luchadors and stole a quick win to set up the title match. The catch though is Douglas had left the company before the angle happened, so it was Brad Armstrong under the mask in the first match and it’s Tom Zenk here, but commentary goes along with the idea of it being Douglas. Steamboat says they’re here for a title shot so you can hear his voice, but the other is silent for reasons of THAT’S NOT DOUGLAS.

We see two guys in the crowd who are….not exactly identified but they might be agents or the mob. Anyway Austin goes for Steamboat’s mask to start but gets chopped into the corner, meaning it’s Pillman coming in instead. Pillman is sent face first into the cage as Larry talks about how much he hates cages, so Tony talks about Larry vs. Sammartino for a bit. Zenk comes in to work on the arm and we look at the guys in the audience again. It’s off to Austin, who is sent back first into the cage over and over.

Steamboat’s backdrop sends Austin’s feet into the cage and then the rest of him goes in as well. Austin pokes Zenk in the eye though and it’s back to Pillman for a bit of an awkward sequence to set up some choking. Steamboat is back in to gorilla press Pillman into the cage and there’s a suplex into the cage to leave Austin hanging by his legs (cool visual). Steamboat mocks the Blonds’ camera deal and hands it back to Zenk, who is whipped into the cage instead of into Austin to put the champs in control for the first time.

Pillman starts choking away as Tony recaps the night and Larry tries to figure out who those guys at ringside are. Austin drops the middle rope elbow and Pillman slugs away, followed by the choking in the corner. A raised boot knocks Pillman out of the air but it’s right back to Austin, who is kicked into the cage. Pillman’s top rope splash hits raised knees as Larry talks about what a legend Austin will be in a few years. The hot tag brings in Steamboat for those chops of his as everything breaks down.

An electric chair out of the corner drops Austin and Pillman gets crotched on the top (Larry: “AND NO COMMENT!”) as everything breaks down. The Hombres hammer away in the corner and Steamboat takes off his mask (thank goodness) to hit a high crossbody onto both Blonds for….well two but the bell rings anyway but we keep going. Eh timekeepers screw up everywhere. Stereo dropkicks get stereo near falls for the Hombres but it’s a quick Stun Gun to give Austin the pin on Zenk at 16:08.

Rating: B-. It’s a match that was put on all kinds of DVDs for some reason, even though it wasn’t all that great. The Hombres deal was only so good but at least it was something to make the match a little more interesting. The talent was there (Zenk was good enough) but it was just kind of going along until the ending without much being built up.

On the replays, Larry says the high crossbody was a perfect impression of….Captain Planet.

The cage is taken down so we talk to Dusty Rhodes, Mr. Wrestling II and Stu Hart. Dusty accepts the Assassin’s challenge, Mr. Wrestling knows Dusty is ready to accept the Assassin’s challenge (and thanks WCW for all of the honors) and Hart talks about wrestling being in his family. He hopes British Bulldog wins tonight, which is about as emotional as Hart was going to get.

NWA World Title: Barry Windham vs. Arn Anderson

Barry is defending as I continue to be astounded by the NWA still being around in such a role in 1993. Anderson shoulders him down for a fast two as commentary puts over what a big night it is for him. Barry knocks him back into the corner as we talk about how big a night it is for the Horsemen. Dude Paul Roma joined the team. There’s nothing big about that other than a big mistake.

A quick DDT gives Arn two and Windham bails out to the ramp. They switch places and Windham gets in a knee lift to stagger Arn, followed by knocking him out of the air. Anderson manages to leverage him from the apron to the floor, meaning it’s time to figure out the over the top rule too. Barry goes head first into the barricade, which is legal in the NWA but illegal in WCW, so the match keeps going. It keeps going with Barry cut open on the forehead, but it does keep going.

Back in and we hit the chinlock, only to have Windham pop up and dropkick him off the top. Back in again and a top rope clothesline drops Anderson, setting up a knee drop to the back for two. Half of Windham’s face is covered in blood but he’s fine enough to hit a floatover suplex for another near fall. Anderson gets in the spinebuster for a big reaction but Windham rolls to the floor and grabs the belt. The referee gets bumped as Barry is leaving so Anderson throws him back in. Anderson knocks the referee down again by mistake though and it’s a belt shot to give Barry the pin at 10:56.

Rating: B. I’ve always liked both guys and this was one of Arn’s biggest singles matches ever so it’s no surprise that the results worked. The NWA didn’t mean anything by this point and Barry would lose the title to the returning Ric Flair at the next pay per view, but at least they had one good, old school match here before Windham faded into complete obscurity.

WCW World Title: Big Van Vader vs. British Bulldog

The Bulldog is challenging and Vader has Harley Race with him. They fight over the power game to start with neither being able to get very far. Vader’s shoulder doesn’t send Bulldog anywhere and Vader needs to think about that. Another shot has Bulldog bouncing off the ropes but he’s right back in Vader’s face. With that not working, Vader just unloads on him in the corner (Vader could do that like no one else) and Bulldog is knocked outside for a shot from Race.

Vader goes outside too but gets knocked over the barricade for his efforts. Back in and Bulldog manages the delayed vertical suplex (my eyes popped open) but Vader kicks him away. The middle rope dive into the powerslam (take a shot) sets up a running clothesline to put Vader on the floor again. Back in and Vader just blasts him to take over and drops an elbow on the leg.

The Vader Bomb gets two and Vader hits him in the face a few times. Vader’s middle rope standing body splash has Bulldog in more trouble and it’s time to hammer away in the corner again. They fight over a superplex until Bulldog throws him face first down onto the mat. A headbutt stuns Bulldog more than Vader and there’s a hard clothesline to put Bulldog down again.

Vader misses a sitdown splash though and Bulldog gets two, only to have Vader hit him in the face for another knockdown. There’s a top rope splash but Vader bangs up his ribs in the process. To mix it up a bit, Vader pounds him down in the corner and now the sitdown splash connects. We hit the reverse chinlock but Bulldog lifts him up into an electric chair, as you do to VADER. Bulldog manages the powerslam but Race makes the save. They head outside and it’s a chair to Bulldog for the DQ at 16:14.

Rating: C+. This was good to start but then went a bit long in the middle and had a lame ending. The problem was they kind of ran out of ways to do things to each other and that made for a pretty long ten or so minute stretch, which is quite a bit too much in a match like this. Bulldog was rolling at the beginning, but this needed to be about four minutes shorter.

Post match Vader loads up a powerbomb but Sting comes in for the save.

Magnum TA thinks that was great and they’re not done.

Verne Gagne thinks that was neat and we’re out.

Roll credits.

Overall Rating: B-. It was quite an up and down show which isn’t all that surprising. The legends stuff was probably a lot more interesting than what we would have gotten from a regular show from the era, but stuff like not delivering the Horsemen and having Roma as a sub was a big hit. Nothing is a blow away match but you have more than enough stuff to make the time go by. I liked it well enough and it’s nice to have something to get away from the modern stuff for a change.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Yeah you might have forgotten about the company but Impact Wrestling is back on pay per view with their biggest show of the year. The card has been built up as well as it can be, but that is kind of a firm limit. The show isn’t exactly jumping off the page at me, though Impact Wrestling has managed to surprise me before. Hopefully that is the case again so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Rascalz vs. Deaners

There is something so fun about the Rascalz. I have a good time watching them but their win/loss record could be a lot better. There is only so much you can do when you can’t consistently win and that has been a problem for them for a very long time now. Hopefully they can get a lot better, and there are only a few ways to do that. We might be seeing it here.

I’ll take the Rascalz, for the double reason of I like them and I can remember which one is which. The Deaners got a lot out of Wrestle House but they are still more of a gimmick tag team than anything else. Maybe they can become a bigger deal one day, because while they’re not terrible, they leave a lot to be desired. Give me the Rascalz in a fast paced match.

Ken Shamrock vs. Eddie Edwards

This is a tricky one as Shamrock is entering the Hall of Fame this weekend but probably shouldn’t be beating someone like Edwards, who was World Champion just a few months ago. Then again, Shamrock wins a good amount of matches that he probably shouldn’t be winning, meaning that this could be in play. Shamrock has been impressive enough in his return, but that might not be enough to beat Edwards.

That being said, I’ll take Shamrock here, as Impact Wrestling REALLY likes honoring its legends, even though Edwards has been far more successful in the company than Shamrock. Edwards can absorb a loss far more easily than Shamrock, and if the idea is to make Shamrock a machine again, he shouldn’t be losing his first big match after the heel turn.

Call Your Shot Gauntlet Match

It’s your usual casserole of wrestlers who have nothing else going on (yes Tommy Dreamer is in there too) and the winner gets a title shot of their choice. The catch is that if Rhino or Heath win, Heath gets a contract and Rhino gets to keep his job. You can probably knock out a few of the options in a hurry, so at least it’s a little bit more limited of a field to pick through.

I’ll take Heath to win and go with the layup of the two of them going for the Tag Team Titles in the more feel good moment. It isn’t like most of the people involved have much of a story anyway and winning a ten person gauntlet match is only so difficult in the first place. Hopefully they don’t stay out there too long though, which is always a big danger in something like this. And go with the right winner of course, as in the person that I picked.

X-Division Title: Rohit Raju(c) vs. Chris Bey vs. Jordynne Grace vs. TJP vs. Trey Miguel vs. Willie Mack

Blast it with these messy matches. The X-Division has actually been a division as of late and now we are getting another one of these big car crash matches for the sake of getting everyone involved rather than having one challenger for a change. Raju is a fine choice as the heel champion who escapes with the title that he doesn’t really deserve and that is a good role to have in a match like this. There are a lot of ways this could go and that could make for something interesting.

I’ll take….eh give me Bey to get the title back here, if nothing else because I’ve liked a lot of what I’ve seen from him. Odds are Raju winds up retaining the title and escaping again, but that’s a bit of a traditional pick and Impact Wrestling likes to mix things up a bit. I’m not sure if that is what they are going to do here, but it really could go a lot of ways and that is a good thing.

TNA World Title: Moose(c) vs. EC3

So EC3 was the big surprise at the end of Slammiversary and he has set his sights on Moose. Now why did he do that? Honestly I’m not sure that I know as he has been going on and on about controlling your narrative…and I don’t know if I quite understand what the heck he is talking about. I know he wants to get rid of the TNA World Title to change his legacy or something, but that’s about as far as I can go.

The only other place I can go is to the place where EC3 wins the title, as he should here. There is no reason to have Moose retain here, though I’m not sure what else to expect from the match. It is going to take place in an undisclosed location and I wouldn’t be shocked to see this as a cinematic match, because we haven’t had one around here in awhile. Just have it regular please. Is that so much to ask?

Tag Team Titles: Motor City Machine Guns(c) vs. Good Brothers vs. Ace Austin/Madman Fulton vs. The North

The Good Brothers have become the biggest stars in the company almost by default and now all they need is the gold. They showed up announced at Slammiversary and were instantly treated as some of the most important people in the company, overshadowing the entire tag team division in a hurry. They don’t need the titles, but it doesn’t exactly do the titles much good for the Good Brothers to not have them.

Actually I’ll go with the instinct and pick Austin and Fulton to win, with the Good Brothers hunting them down for the regular title match later on rather than winning the four way here. This has gotten most of the recent main event slots and while it isn’t (or at least shouldn’t) main event the show, it is going to be one of the more important matches on the card. Odds are the Good Brothers win, but I feel like a gamble.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo(c) vs. Kylie Rae

This feels like it was supposed to take place months ago but then the Wrestle house deal slowed everything down. Rae has become one of the perkiest stars the company has seen in years while Purrazzo is more of an assassin who can rip anyone apart whenever she feels like it. That being said, when your opponent has a move called Smile To The Finish, it’s hard to cheer against them. Throw in the fact that Rae is more innocent than the Easter Bunny and it’s hard to argue against her.

I’ll take Purrazzo to win here and crush everyone’s dreams, as she just hasn’t held the title long enough to lose it yet. Rae is someone who could smile her way through anything and it seems like she could be back in the title scene down the line without much effort. Maybe she takes it from Purrazzo one day, but I really don’t think it is going to happen on Saturday night.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Eric Young(c) vs. Rich Swann

And then there’s this, which does not feel like a main event of the biggest show of the year no matter how revered the company wants to make it sound. This feels like it should be for the X-Division Title halfway through the show rather than (probably) headlining everything. Swann came back from a long injury at Slammiversary and eliminated Young from the World Title match, only to have Young take out the knee. Now Swann is back for revenge and the title.

Swann has to win here right? I can’t imagine that Impact Wrestling would go with Young as a long term champion, but then again I can’t believe that we’re seeing him as the champion again in the second place. I’ve liked Swann for a long time now and hopefully he is back to his old self. He should win the title here, though I’m not sure if he is ready for that point. Then again, it’s not like the title feels all that important most of the time anyway.

Overall Thoughts

I’ve thought this for a good while now but this show has been surpassed by Slammiversary as the most important of the year. I know Bound For Glory gets all of the attention and that’s perfectly fine, but this really doesn’t feel like the big showcase event. I’m sure the matches and action will be good as Impact Wrestling almost always delivers when they focus on their in-ring product, but I can’t really bring myself to get overly interested in the show.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 20, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Madison Rayne, Josh Matthews

It’s the go home show for Bound For Glory and that probably can’t come soon enough. The company has been limping into the show and they could use a nice boost before we get to Saturday. Tonight is probably going to be a lot of building up what is already there and that could go either way. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Heath vs. Rhino vs. Hernandez vs. Cousin Jake vs. Alisha

Whoever wins is the last entrant in the Call Your Shot gauntlet but whoever takes the fall is the first entrant. Alisha yells a lot and shoves some people so Hernandez puts her on the top rope and tussles her hair. She jumps onto Heath’s back but gets driven into the corner, leaving Rhino and Hernandez to slug it out for all of five seconds.

The guys head outside and Alisha dives onto three of the four. Back in and Rhino hammers on Hernandez in the corner but Jake comes in to choke Rhino in another corner. Alisha comes in to break up the dive but Jake breaks up the Border Toss. Rhino Gores Alisha by mistake and in his shock, Hernandez grabs a rollup for the pin on Rhino at 4:45.

Rating: C-. This didn’t last long but it was fast paced while it lasted. Rhino going in first is something that makes a lot of sense given what they are doing with he and Heath so hopefully it works out in execution. Alisha got to shine a bit here as well, which isn’t often the case for her and came off well enough.

Announcers preview tonight and Saturday.

Video on Moose vs. EC3, which is still about someone fighting for a title that doesn’t exactly count. It sounds like their match will be cinematic as well and….yeah I’m having trouble caring.

Jimmy Jacobs sits down with Moose, who doesn’t seem interested in talking about anything but EC3, who won’t be happy after Bound For Glory. Moose leaves, so three guys in EC3 gear come in and kidnap Jacobs, throwing him into a van. Make your own Samoa Joe/ninja jokes.

John E. Bravo yells at the wedding party about the wedding for being so terrible at their jobs. Apparently Kaleb With A K will be the photographer but here’s Taya Valkyrie to complain about everything, but Bravo storms off.

Deonna Purrazzo talks about how important the Knockouts Title is in this company’s history. Do you want someone like her as champion or Kylie Rae? Being smiley and happy isn’t a game plan! All it took was Purrazzo breaking Susie’s arm to send Rae over the edge and on Saturday, she isn’t winning the title.

Havok vs. Rosemary

If Rosemary wins, Father James Mitchell can be brought back to officiate the wedding. Havok squeezes her down by the hand to start but misses a legdrop to give Rosemary two. Havok’s reverse DDT is blocked so Rosemary hits one of her own for two more. A guillotine is broken up with a suplex and Havok is getting serious. Rosemary gets a boot up in the corner though and a high crossbody gives her two. Back to back spears finish Havok at 3:27.

Rating: C-. Like Mitchell wasn’t going to be back for the wedding. There was no reason to bring him up if he wasn’t going to be here and he ties into the story so well that it would be insane to not have him here. I’ve been digging the wedding story so far and hopefully the payoff works as well.

Video on the Tag Team Title match. The Motor City Machine Guns have the titles, the Good Brothers want them, and the North and Ace Austin/Madman Fulton do in fact exist as well.

Here’s a sneak peak at Talk N Shop: Full Gear.

Kylie Rae says Deonna Purrazzo is more interested in making people think she is better rather than actually being better. Rae wants to be a role model to young girls and she is going to be ready for everything Deonna has for her at Bound For Glory.

The EC3 guys bring Jacobs into a building and put him into a chair, with EC3 sitting next to him. EC3 says it’s just the two of them so ask him a question. Right now they’re in a narrative, and now Moose is the adversary that EC3 wants to face. EC3 met the Moose he has been waiting to fight on that bridge last week but Moose is a FALSE IDOL.

Last week, EC3 saw it in his eyes and Moose was starting to control his narrative. Moose has to learn, but it has to be at EC3’s hands. EC3 fights for control and purpose but also for himself. The whole point of this is to take the TNA World Title and burn it, just like Moose’s legacy. I’m still not sure I get what the heck EC3 is talking about, but he’s selling it well.

Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards

Sami walks into an atomic drop to start but blocks a belly to belly suplex with a rake to the eyes. They fight to the floor with Sami getting his own eyes raked this time. Sami hits his own belly to belly onto the ramp though and Eddie is in trouble. Back in and Sami grabs a brainbuster for two and we hit the chinlock. Eddie fights back up so Callihan whips him into a corner to stop the comeback cold.

The real comeback starts with a clothesline and a super hurricanrana sets up the Blue Thunder Bomb for two on Sami. They slug it out from their knees and then chop it out from their feet until Sami goes for the eyes again. Some running forearms set up the tiger driver for two more on Sami and Eddie is stunned. The Boston Knee Party is loaded up so Sami grabs his phone and…makes Ken Shamrock appear. The distraction, and a handful of tights, is enough to finish Eddie at 8:35.

Rating: C+. They were having a good match here until the annoying ending, though at least the hacking deal was a little more funny than what you get most of the time. Eddie vs. Shamrock doesn’t exactly get my interest up, but then again it is a match between two big names. Sami is just kind of there at the moment, and I’m not feeling the Shamrock partnership, but it’s certainly a fresh match.

Post match Shamrock locks Eddie’s ankle again.

We recap the X-Division Title match, which is Rohit Raju running from everyone but getting caught against them all at once. Raju is doing really well now that he is getting a chance, but I could go for a smaller field in the match. Like two people for instance.

Willie Mack/Trey Miguel/TJP vs. Rohit Raju/Chris Bey/Jordynne Grace

Raju starts with Mack but taunts TJP into a chase, allowing Bey to take TJP down. Mack comes in for the spinning slam into a legdrop for two on Bey but Raju breaks up TJP’s headscissors out of the corner. Grace comes in to hammer away on TJP for two before reluctantly tagging Raju in.

TJP avoids Grace’s Vader Bomb though and it’s the hot tag bringing in Miguel as everything breaks down. We get the parade of knockdowns so Raju knees Miguel down for two, with TJP stealing the cover. Bey hits a springboard cutter so Raju steals his own near fall, meaning the argument is on. Raju takes Bey down so Bey is back with the springboard cutter to Raju, giving Miguel the pin at 5:25.

Rating: C. It was a big mess and having Raju get on someone’s nerves to take the fall fit him perfectly. That being said, it was another X-Division match with all of the insanity that you always get in a match like this. Good action, but it’s going to be even zanier on Saturday and I’m a bit over that kind of a match in this division.

Video on Eric Young vs. Rich Swann, with Eric destroying Swann’s knee over and over but not being able to keep him out of the title match. In other words, it’s something else where Young isn’t as good as people think he is. You would think he’s used to it by now.

We get a sitdown interview with Young, who blames Swann and Scott D’Amore for what has happened to them. He hasn’t caused any of this because he said what he would do. Everyone should know what happens if you get in his way and now he has a purpose to stop Swann. Cue Swann for the fight with the camera being knocked down. Dang they’re trying with this thing but it’s only going so far.

Bound For Glory rundown.

Good Brothers vs. The North

Anderson and Page start things off with Page being sent outside. Everything breaks down in a hurry and we take a break in a hurry. Back with Gallows hammering away on Alexander in the corner before Anderson comes in to slug away as well. Now it’s some stomping in the corner for a change of pace as we hear about how awesome the North was when they held the titles.

Alexander gets in a shot to the face and it’s time to put Anderson in the corner for a change. A full nelson backbreaker from Alexander sets up a backbreaker from Page for two and the chinlock is on again. It’s back to Alexander for another chinlock but he charges into a big boot in the corner. The hot tag brings in Gallows to clean house but Alexander breaks up the Magic Killer. The slugout it on and it’s a no contest (double DQ, whatever) at 11:12.

Rating: C. They worked a pretty simple formula here until the ending which (wisely) protected both of them until the ending. It’s nothing that we haven’t seen done better over and over but at least they didn’t have someone take a fall and then come back to win the titles on Saturday. The North is still great, but the Good Brothers feel like stars and that’s what matters.

Post match the Machine Guns and Ace Austin/Madman Fulton run in for the big brawl. The Guns and the Brothers clear the ring and get in the fight with the Brothers easily taking them down and standing tall to end the show. It’s kind of amazing to see this close the show again, as it feels like it has happened a lot more often than not as of late.

Overall Rating: C. This was right down the middle and playing everything safe, which is exactly what it should have been. There was no need in trying to do something ridiculous here or throwing something else into a card that was already made. They did a little bit with the wedding for a slight bit of variety, but this was nice and safe, as it should be in a situation like this. After some weaker shows, something this simple is the right call so they made the right decision.

Results

Hernandez b. Heath, Rhino, Cousin Jake and Alisha – Rollup to Rhino

Rosemary b. Havok – Spear

Sami Callihan b. Eddie Edwards – Rollup

Trey Miguel/TJP/Willie Mack b. Rohit Raju/Jordynne Grace/Chris Bey – Springboard cutter to Raju

Good Brothers vs. The North went to a no contest when all four brawled

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 23, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s the go home show for Hell in a Cell and maybe that means WWE can remember to build the show a bit. Granted I wouldn’t bet on it as last year’s show only had three matches announced going into the weekend and this year’s already has four. I don’t know what the deal is with that, but at least they’re mostly consistent. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the Kevin Owens Show, with Owens being rather happy to be in his new home. To make it even better, we are starting the new show with a special guest, who is one of the most technically sound wrestlers of all time: Daniel Bryan. After praising the set, Bryan talks about being really excited to be on Smackdown with all of these great, young wrestlers. He thinks it would be even better if the Intercontinental Title was defended every single week.

Owens likes the idea of titles, but wants to talk about the Tag Team Titles. Bryan is confused, but Owens says it is the one thing he hasn’t won around here. Bryan: “You’ve betrayed a lot of people.” Owens thinks they would be a great team and even has a great name for them: Team Hell KO.

Bryan points out that would be Owens and Kane, which seems to surprise Owens. Anyway, here are Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode (Owens: “Why?”) with Ziggler speaking in Van Halen song titles. They’re a great team, so here are the Street Profits to say they want the smoke. Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura come out as well and the big brawl is on.

Kevin Owens/Daniel Bryan/Street Profits vs. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler/Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro

Joined in progress with Owens dropping a backsplash on Nakamura and handing it off to Dawkins. Roode comes in to drop Dawkins but misses the elbow drop, meaning it’s Dawkins belly to back suplexing Ford into a moonsault on Roode for the early two. Ziggler comes in to dropkick Ford and the villains start taking turns with the beating. Ford finally hits a dropkick for a breather, allowing the hot tag to Bryan. That means the pace picks up and Cesaro is low bridged to the floor for the suicide dive.

Back in and Bryan hits a running corner dropkick on Cesaro but may have injured his knee. Cesaro uppercuts him back out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Ziggler wrapping Bryan’s knee around the bottom rope and grabbing a half crab. Cesaro comes in for half a second before it’s back to Ziggler, who gets catapulted into the corner.

Roode cuts off the crawl to the corner and puts Bryan on the top, only to get shoved back down. A missile dropkick allows the hot tag off to Dawkins so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down and Cesaro rolls Dawkins up with feet on the ropes…but gets caught. The referee breaks that up so it’s the Cash Out into the frog splash to give Ford the pin on Cesaro at 13:53.

Rating: C. This was very similar to the four way women’s tag match on Raw, though the action was better and it didn’t have the annoying team winning so I can go with it a bit more. You would think we would be coming up on someone beating the Street Profits here to set up a title shot at the pay per view, but that’s not the Cell’s way.

And now, egads, it’s Law And Otis as Miz and John Morrison take Otis to court over the Money in the Bank briefcase. Ron Simmons is the bailiff and JBL is the judge as Miz talks about how horrible Otis has been for the briefcase. He is here to end this nightmare and put the briefcase in his own better hands (it worked the first time around). Otis says it should be his because he won the match. Miz’s attorney: “That’s a good argument.” Miz fires her in the only funny part of the segment.

Video on Bianca Belair.

Daniel Bryan is all fired up with the Street Profits and Kevin Owens but here’s Sami Zayn to say he doesn’t share Bryan’s vision for the Intercontinental Title. The title is Sami’s and he is going to defend it his way.

Bianca Belair vs. Zelina Vega

Belair puts her on top to start but Vega slaps her in the face. That earns Vega a toss off the top and Belair slams her again. Vega’s headscissors is countered with a front flip and there’s a standing moonsault into a nip up from Belair. Vega kicks her away and gets in a kick to the head, followed by a middle rope hurricanrana. Belair isn’t having that and punches her out of the air before dead lifting Vega into a gorilla press drop onto the turnbuckle. The KOD finishes Vega at 2:38. So much for Vega’s push but that worked well for Belair.

Video on Lars Sullivan.

Shorty G. is fed up with not being drafted anywhere and it’s time to right the ship. That’s why he’s calling out Lars Sullivan to prove that he belongs.

Shorty G. vs. Lars Sullivan

Sullivan wastes no time in hitting a fall away slam and faceplants Gable for a bonus. Gable rakes the eyes to escape a powerslam though and hits a rolling kick in the corner. A missed charge annoys Sullivan though and he sends Gable flying, followed by a hard clothesline. The Freak Accident finishes Gable at 1:57.

Post match, Gable quits. Good. Get out while you still can. Go work in a corrugated box factory or test discount parachutes or something else with a better future.

Seth Rollins talks about how he requested his match with Murphy tonight. In the Greater Good, everyone has a role, with Rollins being a leader. Tonight, Murphy’s role will be defined and that sounds like fun to Rollins.

Post break, Shorty G. says he’s done being a character who accepts who he is because he doesn’t accept it. He’s done being a punching bag who shows up in a public service announcement. There’s only one man who can achieve anything he wants: an Olympian, a state and national champion, and his name is Chad Gable. Well it freaking took long enough, though I have no reason to believe that this is going to go anywhere whatsoever.

Here’s Bayley with her chair for a chat. She did four interviews this morning and every time it was the same question: why is she hesitant to face Sasha Banks in the Cell? Not about her title reign or anything that she has done, but all about Sasha. Not that it matters, because she hasn’t and won’t sign the contract for Sunday.

Cue Sasha with the contract but Bayley swings the chair at her. That lets Sasha grab the title to set up a tug of war. A knee to the face drops Bayley and Sasha wraps the chair around her neck. Bayley kicks her in the head but Banks chokes her with the chair, demanding that Bayley sign. A lot of choking makes Bayley sign, because WWE still doesn’t know how contracts work.

It’s back to the court room where Morrison is the current witness. Otis has assaulted a lot of people and the biggest scars are in his heart.

Rey Mysterio says Otis should get the contract because he won the match.

Asuka rants in Japanese, prompting JBL to ask the court reporter if he got any of that. Teddy Long: “Every single word.”

Tucker says Miz went too far by having Mandy Rose sent to Raw so he deserves everything that happens to him. Miz asks for permission to treat the witness as hostile, with JBL saying it’s about time. Miz asks if Otis neglected the contract so Tucker is ready to fight. Violence is teased but JBL says we’ll take a recess and be back with the verdict. Long has to go to the bathroom anyway.

Back from a break with JBL saying you have to be violent around here but Otis not cashing in yet isn’t negligent. Therefore, JBL is ready to rule in favor of….and Miz cuts him off because he has a key piece of evidence. Miz provides a briefcase, which makes JBL hear a cash register sound. Therefore, JBL rules in Miz’s favor, meaning it’s Miz vs. Otis for the briefcase on Sunday. Simmons ends it with the catchphrase. So we needed THREE segments to set up a match that they have teased for two months. And we got maybe two funny lines? How WWE of them.

Video on Seth Rollins vs. Murphy.

Seth Rollins vs. Murphy

Aalyah is watching in the back. Murphy drives him into the corner to start so Rollins makes it clear that he’s the messiah. That earns him an armbar with Murphy taking it to the mat until Rollins cranks the arm back. A headlock lets Rollins talk about how Murphy is against him but Murphy hits a hard slap to the face. Murphy’s hurricanrana puts Rollins on the floor and a backdrop onto the announcers’ table takes us to a break.

We come back with Rollins knocking him off the top and out to the floor as we see Rey Mysterio and Dominick telling Aalyah to stop watching this. She can do what she wants though, which includes watching Rollins hit a gutbuster for two. Rollins’ waistlock is broken up so he puts Murphy on top, earning himself a missile dropkick.

Rollins is sent outside for a big flip dive (with Murphy almost clearing him), setting up a top rope Meteora for two. Murphy is favoring his arm after the landing though and has to go outside instead of following up. The injury sends Murphy outside to try and pop his shoulder back in, meaning Rollins can hit a suicide dive. Back in and the springboard knee to the head gives Rollins two. Rollins drives the bad shoulder into the apron and we take a break.

We come back with Rollins hitting the buckle bomb but Murphy is back with a knee to the face for two more. Murphy can’t follow up so Rollins yells some more and they slug it out until Rollins hits a step up enziguri. The Falcon Arrow gets two but the Stomp misses. Rollins goes up top but gets kicked in the face, only to slip out of a fireman’s carry. Another twist of the arm sets up the Stomp to finish Murphy at 17:31.

Rating: B. This got some time and that was a good thing as it felt like a much bigger match than it would have otherwise. I really don’t need more of the Mysterio story but at least it was something that didn’t involve the same people over and over. Murphy hung with Rollins and while a win would have meant more, he looks like he has gotten a lot out of this story.

Post match Rollins grabs the kendo stick so Aalyah asks her dad and brother to help him. They aren’t doing it so she goes down herself as Rollins beats on Murphy with the stick. Aalyah gets in the ring and tries to cover Murphy so here’s Dominick to keep things safe. Rollins teases running but comes back in to jump Dominick, drawing in Rey for the save with a chair. That’s enough to send Rollins off for good, as the Mysterios tell Aalyah to forget this. She helps Murphy up instead as the drama WILL continue.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman to discuss the consequences for Sunday. Jey pops up on screen in Reigns’ dressing room where he eats some of his fruit. The whole family is disappointed in Roman but it’s nice to be part of the family with food and water like this. Hold on though as that’s Jimmy, who says Jey is right behind him. Jey jumps Reigns in the ring and the fight is on, with Jey grabbing a chair.

Reigns hits a big boot and takes the chair but Jey hits a superkick into the Superfly Splash to leave Reigns laying. The Usos celebrate on the ramp but Reigns grabs the mic to talk about what happens if he loses on Sunday. If Reigns loses, he stops being the Tribal Chief and the provider for the family.

Reigns can live with that, but if Jey quits, and he will, he will take orders from Reigns and respect him for what he is in the WWE and for what he does for the family. If Jey can’t, the brothers, their wives and their children are out of the family. They will all turn their backs on them, and those are the consequences. The Cell is lowered so Jey climbs up the wall to stare down at Reigns to end the show. This feud continues to deserve the greatest praise for making me want to see Jey Uso in a major singles match on pay per view. That’s a heck of a trick and they’ve made it work.

Overall Rating: C. Well, they did add something, though we had to sit through another HILARIOUS pop culture parody of a show that peaked….I don’t know, fifteen to twenty years ago? The wrestling was fine enough and the go home segment was good, but they are really not doing themselves any favors by making this show feel like the most slapped together pay per view of the year. The Cell matches are looking good, but it would be nice to have something underneath those to support things a bit.

Results

Street Profits/Kevin Owens/Daniel Bryan b. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler/Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura – Frog splash to Cesaro

Bianca Belair b. Zelina Vega – KOD

Lars Sullivan b. Shorty G. – Freak Accident

Seth Rollins b. Murphy – Stomp

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

The nifty squares intro theme open things up again.

Gorilla and Piper chat about the show for a bit.

The Warriors vs. The Perfect Team

The Warriors: Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion of Doom

The Perfect Team: Mr. Perfect, Demolition

Crush immediately comes in to jump Warrior and take over. Smash gets in a slam on Warrior and Crush drops a top rope knee for two. Perfect is freaking out in his trademark over the top style. Warrior gets up a boot in the corner and clotheslines Crush down. Off to Hawk who always looks like he could murder someone in the ring. Perfect tries him out and is immediately slammed down.

Ted DiBiase has a mystery partner for his match. Oh boy does he ever.

Million Dollar Team vs. Dream Team

Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Rhythm and Blues, ???

Dream Team: Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Hart Foundation

Undertaker and Bret start with the newcomer pounding the tar out of Bret. Well if you want to make someone look like a killer, call Bret Hart. Bret hits the ropes and charges at Undertaker, only to get caught by the throat and slammed down. It was more like a clothesline that Undertaker went to the mat with than the usual chokeslam here but he did have Bret by the throat.

The Vipers vs. The Visionaries

The Vipers: Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka

The Visionaries: Rick Martel, Warlord, Power and Glory

Marty and Warlord start as Piper is singing I Am The Walrus. Warlord powers Marty around but misses a charge in the corner. Warlord is now out of his Powers of Pain phase and is now shiny and bald. Both Rockers try to outmaneuver him but it just results in bringing in Martel. Shawn handles him with ease and brings in Jake, causing Martel to scamper away.

Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs

Natural Disasters: Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian

Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Big Boss Man, Tugboat, Jim Duggan

Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.

Hogan beats up Heenan post match and poses. Piper cheering for Hogan is just wrong.

Some fans talk and have little to say. Well one fan signs who he likes which is cool.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Alliance: Nikolai Volkoff, Bushwhackers, Tito Santana

Mercenaries: Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

Hogan, Warrior and Santana are ready.

Hulk Hogan/Tito Santana/Ultimate Warrior vs. Ted DiBiase/Visionaries

Oddly enough, Hogan comes out before Tito. Tito and Warlord start and a forearm ends Warlord in less than 30 seconds. Roma immediately powerslams Tito and brings in DiBiase. My goodness a 20 minute Santana vs. DiBiase match would freaking rock. Tito misses another forearm and a hot shot gives DiBiase the pin.

Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show has some moments of ok, but can you imagine PAYING for this show? Undertaker debuts here but no one had any idea what that would mean. Nothing is changed at all, mainly because the company was afraid no one would want to see the house show matches after this.

Ratings Comparison

Warriors vs. Perfect Team

Original: C-

Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Million Dollar Team

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Original: F

Redo: D-

Grand Finale Match of Survival

Original: D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: F

Redo: F

It sucked four years ago and it still sucks now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/09/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1990-title-removed-due-to-anger-issues/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,249
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

Well, we’re in the 90s now and that’s about it. Warrior is world champion, but other than that just about everything is exactly the same. It’s been a pretty bland year actually as nothing of note has happened. Your main feuds are Warrior against no one in particular and Hogan vs. Earthquake. Hogan of course wants the title back but that’s nothing new. The big thing here of course though is the debut of the Undertaker who is Ted DiBiase’s mystery partner. Let’s get to it.

The other two big things here is the infamous giant egg which I’ll get to, and the Match of Survival, which is all of the winners being grouped into one final match at the end to determine the Grand Survivors. Yeah, it’s dumber than it sounds. Let’s do this. Oh and Jesse is gone.

First off, you should buy Supertape 3. Mean Gene says so.

Jesse says you should buy WWF toys. I did.

Jesse says you should but the WWF ring. I did that too.

Mooney plugs the Grand Finale thing and the egg.

A Vince voiceover sets up the lineup. Demolition’s pictures make them look like they’re in a bondage session.

Piper goes on a big rant about the military, which I’m not huge on. Don’t do that on PPV Roddy.

Perfect Team vs. Warriors

Perfect Team: Mr. Perfect, Demolition
Warriors: Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, LOD

Warrior is the world champion here, Tornado is IC champion, and the LOD cost Demolition the tag titles at Summerslam. There’s no reason at all for Warrior to be in this. This match screams train wreck to me. Gene is with the Warriors who say everything you would expect them to say. Warrior might be less coherent than Hawk. After the faces enter, it takes forever to actually get anything going. Is it that hard to figure out who is going to start?

Animal spears Crush to start this out which I like. Roddy can’t tell Demolition apart. Seriously, it’s not that difficult people. The heels beat up on Animal for a decent amount of time which isn’t surprising as he’s likely worn out after being in the ring over a minute. The wildness ensues as Perfect is in and being beaten up by all of the faces at once, which is of course, perfectly legal. So I guess Warrior and Perfect was supposed to be the main feud but that simply wasn’t the case at all.

They never had a feud that I remember unless it was a short one. Warrior would go on to face Slaughter at the Rumble while Perfect would just kind of do nothing as Boss Man feuded with the entire Heenan Family. I really don’t get the point of him being in here. I’m assuming that he had a short feud over the last few months with Warrior that this is the blow off for.

That would make sense as Warrior had a more or less one off match with Rude at Summerslam but Rude was now gone, so maybe they threw Perfect in because he was part of the Family as well. That’s the best I can come up with. Warrior gets beaten on by Demolition which amuses me as I just didn’t like Warrior that much. Wait, he’s already out and Tornado is in. I always was a mark for him. Wait now Warrior is back in.

He knocks out Axe with the splash as the ending to this match is already becoming fairly obvious, which I’m never a fan of. Crush, the most successful of Demolition arguably, comes in and beats on Warrior which I enjoy. For some reason Crush’s face push, which was supposed to result in the WWF Title was aborted for no reason at all. I never got that. Hawk and Perfect are in now, and Hawk is just freaking SCARY looking. He just looks awesome on all levels.

Somehow they botch a whip in as Perfect slips I think and goes almost into the opposite turnbuckle on his knees. It just looked odd to say the least. Hawk hits one of the hardest shoulders I’ve ever seen into the post, which is almost word for word what Piper says so at least I have someone agreeing with me. Crowd is very hot to say the least. He makes his comeback but of course he refuses to tag.

At least he’s been paying attention to old Survivor Series tapes. Crush and Animal come in and we have four guys disqualified. Yeah, that’s as dumb as it sounds, and it’s 2-1 with Tornado and Warrior, the two singles champions, against Perfect. What a great match this should be. Piper constantly saying he’s writing it down makes me chuckle. Warrior presses him and Piper says he’s up and down more than a toilet seat. And we’re moving on.

Tornado hits the exposed turnbuckle and gets Perfectplexed for the pin despite having his shoulder up. Warrior breaks the suplex with relative ease as Heenan is losing it. Perfect is beating on him with relative ease so the ending is getting clearer and clearer. Ref gets a bit bumped as Warrior kicks Perfect out onto him. I love how there’s instances where that would take the referee out for five minutes and other times where it does nothing.

The announcers say that the heat in here could hatch the egg as I’m getting those headaches I used to get. Traditional Warrior comeback ensues and the splash ends this. Gorilla says that the Warrior is the surviving team. Why do so many commentators make zero sense? Surprisingly the celebration takes very little time. Warrior is on to the grand finale.

Rating: C-. This was pretty bland. It really made little sense and just felt thrown together. Perfect was trying to get the IC title back, LOD was feuding with Demolition after costing them the tag belts, and Warrior….yeah you get the point. There was just no need to have him in there and it made the match lopsided.

I get that they didn’t really have another major option, but this was a classic example of where two regular matches would have been better suited here and the WWF Champion doesn’t really have a lot of need on a show like this. That would change next year.

The Million Dollar Team (can you please get a new name Ted?) says that they’ll win. There’s still no mystery partner though.

Million Dollar Team vs. Dream Team

Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Honky Tonk Man, Greg Valentine, Mystery Partner
Dream Team: Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Jim Neidhart, Bret Hart

Ok, a few things. Number one, why would you have Koko on your team? Two, Dusty gets a great pop. Three, the Mystery Partner was assigned to Koko, since the captains cancel each other out and then you have the two tag teams? Wow he really started on the bottom of the ladder didn’t he? Dusty has also finally dropped the polka dots.

He would be gone very soon, heading back to the NWA where he belongs. Rhythm and Blues theme song, Honky Love, is either going to start a riot or is the best song I’ve ever heard. Shockingly, he’s offered bonus money if his team wins. Yeah he’s done that every year now. Of course, the mystery partner is the debuting Undertaker.

I would say this warrants a bit of a section of its own. Now this is by far and away the most important thing to happen at this PPV to this point and likely is the most important thing to happen at Survivor Series ever. Taker, as IC (I think) said, wasn’t designed to be the next major star like Hogan or Warrior, but rather the next phenom, ala Andre the Giant. I’d say that it’s been a success as he’s still around and in big storylines nearly 20 years later.

This is being written the night before Summerslam, so I’m going to go out on a short limb and say that Taker has returned by this point. This Taker was different than the traditional one. To begin with, he’s managed by Brother Love, not Paul Bearer. Also, he’s more of a western mortician kind of guy rather than what you all know and love. Either way, he’s completely intimidating and this was his first televised match.

He had actually been around at house shows, going by the name of Kane the Undertaker. I’d think it’s safe to say that the name of his brother wasn’t that big of a coincidence. Also, it’s good that they shortened the name I’d say. Anyway, let’s get to the match itself.

Koko is wearing bright pink. Do I need to make fun of him anymore? Now for all you trivia people, Taker’s first opponent in the WWF: Bret Hart, as he beats on him with relative ease. Another interesting fact: to the best of my knowledge, Taker has never beaten Bret clean. He hits the first chokeslam which doesn’t have a name yet, but it’s really more of Bret running at him and more of a clothesline with Taker’s hand on Bret’s throat.

Neidhart can’t do anything, so he tags in the offensive genius known as Koko. This is great as Taker no sells the dropkick and picks him up for the first ever tombstone, which is one of the best I’ve ever seen. Koko is clearly gone, as the announcers actually try to convince us that it’s a big deal that he beat Koko. That just amuses me. We get more Bret vs. Taker which there’s nothing at all wrong with.

Taker gets hit with some good shots and just stares at Bret before reaching over and tagging out. That’s just awesome as it looks like even Bret can do nothing against him. Dusty comes in now that the real threat is gone. Piper insists that the faces can figure Taker out. Well not many people have in 19 years so I think the Scot is wrong here. Honky comes in rocking red tights which just don’t look right on him. They say Heartbreak Hotel.

It’s good to see Shawn’s interview segment getting free advertising like that. The Harts do a quick tag and Honky walks into a powerslam from Anvil to tie us up at 3-3. DiBiase runs in immediately and pounds away on him. It’s nice to see the captain leading his team like this. Gorilla has forgotten about trying to be fair here. Rhodes is in as the main feud is going at it. You know, considering it was over Sapphire, I have to wonder, WHERE IS SHE?

She left immediately after Summerslam, which always made me scratch my head. I get that she was the catalyst for the feud, but did DiBiase just release her back into the wild? Virgil interferes to eliminate Neidhart. It’s Bret and Rhodes against Valentine, DiBiase and Taker. That’s….not that bad of a match actually.

Roddy calling Love Blubber Love amuses me. We get a Blow Away diet reference that makes me smile. I’m going to step away from this for a second to put this up, as it’s a fairly infamous video that went absolutely nowhere at all.

Nothing ever came of this as I think Rose was little more than a jobber at this point. However, he was in the first ever Wrestlemania match, albeit under a mask. Seriously, what was the point of this? Anyway, that’s what Roddy references, which brought it to my head. It was one promo, this one, and then it was never mentioned again. It’s one of the great WTF moments in wrestling history.

Anyway, the faces beat on DiBiase as Piper implies Dusty isn’t too smart. Again, I don’t have to make fun of this one. Taker eliminates him with a fairly generic double axe from the top rope. Now we get to something that I just don’t get at all. Bret comes in to beat on Taker as he’s the last face remaining. They go back to the corner and we cut to Brother Love beating on Dusty who is still down on the floor. That all makes sense.

We cut back to the ring and Valentine is in with Hart and Taker is on the apron. The referee is fine with this and it’s business as usual. Naturally, I’d assume that while Taker was in the corner, Taker tagged out and made Valentine legal. That makes perfect sense. Taker though goes to the floor and fights Dusty up the aisle, and the bell rings. Taker has been counted out as he was the legal man? That makes no sense at all.

I completely understand that they didn’t want Taker to survive and they certainly didn’t want him to get pinned and I have no problem with him beating Dusty to the back to have him get counted out. That makes perfect sense and is perfectly acceptable to have him eliminated. What I don’t get at all is having the weird I guess non-tag. Taker threw Rhodes to the floor.

Why didn’t he just follow him out and then we get the count out? It would make sense at least. Anyway, within 45 seconds Valentine gets rolled up and it’s 1-1 with DiBiase vs. Hart in what should be a good match. I have yet to see someone that can go over the rope or do a flip like DiBiase. It’s just so crisp every single time and I love it. Bret just goes off on DiBiase, beating the living crud out of him.

That’s a big deal as Bret has only been given small pushes here and there but is still known as a tag guy. Very soon though, his singles push would begin and the rest is history. Ted takes over though as would be expected. Bret wasn’t going to win here, but Ted was the perfect choice to make Bret look awesome in a losing effort. They really got it right with Bret as they built him up ever so slowly and once the push happened, everyone was ready for it and it went perfectly.

DiBiase accidentally nails Virgil. Their feud was right around the corner as Virgil would turn on him at the Rumble, leading to the feel good moment of the year (save for Macho/Liz) at Mania 7 with Virgil beating him. DiBiase reverses a cross body for the win, which works well as it was his experience that beat Bret. Both guys look good, but the bigger star comes out with the win as he should have.

Rating: C+. Clearly, this is more important for Taker than who won. Looking back, this might trump Jericho for best debut of all time. The people were legit stunned and had no clue what to think of Taker and a lot of people still don’t to this day. Taker is a character that just works, plain and simple. It’s a lot like Stone Cold in that way. They knew they had something with both guys, but no one could predict just how big they would become.

They hit this one so far out of the park though that it’s amazing. The interesting thing is that earlier in the year, Taker was Mean Mark Callaway and jobbing to Luger for the US Title. He was just a generic big man that was a heel, and then they turn him into one of the most famous gimmicks of all time. To me, it’s no longer about is he the best big man ever.

It’s how far up do you rank him on the best of all time list, because he’s certainly on it. As for the rest of the match, it’s just there. Bret and DiBiase is good, but the rest is just ok. Certainly not bad, but nothing to go out of your way to watch. Taker’s debut and time in the match certainly is worth seeing though, just from an historical perspective.

We go to the back with the Vipers, meeting with Gene in the shower. This is just odd. This is another infamous team, but we’ll get to that later on. Jake talks about how they’re all survivors. Jimmy Snuka has a mustache. It looks weird. Jake still has the messed up eye, which is the point of this feud. One day on the Brother Love show, Martel tried to spray his cologne on Damien and Jake went after him, getting sprayed in the eye. This led to him being “blinded”, which was just a bad feud. It inspired the blowoff match, the infamous blindfold match at Wrestlemania which was just bad. It also explains the team name for the heels: the Visionaries.

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Vipers: Jake Roberts, Marty Jannetty, Shawn Michaels, Jimmy Snuka
Visionaries: Rick Martel, Hercules, Paul Roma, Warlord

Apparently Jake is wrestling against doctor’s orders. You have to love how much Vince loves his wrestlers as he’d rather have the money they could produce than their health. Rockers had been feuding with Power and Glory, as Shawn had an injured knee, costing them the match at Summerslam. Jake picked them for his team because they had “survived” the injury. Yeah they’re really stretching a lot of these.

Warlord and Superfly…yeah there’s no real point other than they’re both in the midcard. The announcers try to put over how great the card has been and how Jake is half blind here. Amazingly this was considered cool back in the day. Piper gets a facepalm by saying the team is called the Plymouth Rockers. This isn’t much in the way of talent/title success. We start with Warlord (who Piper calls walrus and makes I Am the Walrus references which I love) against Marty.

Snuka, Robers, Warlord, Hercules and Roma never won anything in the company. Jannetty has two forgotten reigns and Martel won as a tag guy. There’s just not much on either team with Shawn being not much yet either. Piper says the Rockers are going to be the team of the 90s. That amuses me. Shawn with an AWESOME counter to a hiptoss as he more or less does a rotating flip without touching the ground off a hiptoss. It’s hard to describe but it looked sweet.

How in the world was Roma a Horsemen? Seriously, what were they thinking? Hercules needs to pull his tights down a bit as he’s approaching thong territory. Warlord takes out Marty off a powerslam that he got in a very cool looking counter to a cross body. It’s nothing that you haven’t seen before but it’s one of the best executions of it I can ever remember.

On to Jake vs. Warlord, which could have been a decent mini-feud. Jake knocks him down and then tags Shawn who goes for the cover. Um, ok? I’ve always loved Gorilla’s highly intellectual terms about parts of the body. They make him sound almost cocky without being completely so though. At least Martel dropped a knee after getting tagged in before covering. Piper surprises me and says that Martel has some brains. That came from nowhere.

I like Shawn’s look around this time. The black and yellow was a cool looking combination on the team I thought. Snuka comes in wearing tights and boots, which looks completely wrong. He belongs in no shoes and trunks. What kind of a respectful savage wears shoes? First person to make a Macho Man joke here gets red rep. Snuka is gone after a reversed cross body as he makes his standard jobbing appearance.

We finally get Jake vs. Martel for all of 8 seconds but they never make contact as Martel runs. That’s even more building for the eventual showdown, which works. Piper calls Hercules a cheap skate. That’s odd indeed. Roma, of course, screws up and costs his team the advantage. Good to see he hasn’t forgotten his place. Shawn hits a move that you don’t see often: an elbow off the second rope. I’m not talking about a Bret Hart style one.

I’m talking about the kind Savage uses, but from the middle rope. It looked different but in a good way. Shawn gets knocked out by the Power-Plex, so we’re down to 4-1. Yeah this has been very bad so far. The fans try to give Jake the big comeback cheers but it’s just not going to work. Piper says the fans are standing up for what Jake is doing. Right now he’s getting his face kicked in. That’s 1990 WWF fans: fighting for your right to get a beating.

Jake gets an AWESOME DDT on Warlord but Martel goes for the cologne to the face so Jake chases him with the snake for the count out. That’s a sneaky way to leave without looking like a coward. The Visionaries win in a clean sweep, which I think has happened 3 times ever?

Rating: D+. This was really boring. Nothing of interest happened, the main feud never had anything happen, and the faces got beat into the ground. This is one of the least interesting matches of all time in the series, and it took me an hour to get through a 17 minute match. That’s how uninterested I was here. One last thing here.

Ok, I get it: Jake is the only star there and without him, the team sucks. But seriously, he can’t either knock out one or two of the four or just get pinned? It’s not like there’s any shame in losing to four guys.

Ad for the Rumble, which is on a Saturday for some reason.

Sean is with the Hulkamaniacs. Hogan and his latest team of glorified jobbers say they’ll survive. Ok Boss Man wasn’t a jobber. Duggan has yellow ribbons on his board. Why is that? Hogan is going to tell you. It’s for the soldiers in the Persian Gulf. Cool. Hogan volunteers his team to go fight in the war. Yeah, that’s a bit much.

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Hulkamaniacs: Hogan, Boss Man, Duggan, Tugboat
Natural Disasters: Earthquake, Haku, Dino Bravo, Barbarian

Before the match starts, the announcers point out that it’s Warrior against 5 guys at the moment. I love how they don’t even try to imply that it’ll be anything other than faces vs. heels. It makes sense for the heel team that survived together to be together though, and DiBiase would side with whoever had the better odds. Warrior of course would go into a 5-1 contest thinking he’s the favorite too, so this somehow makes sense.

All four faces get their own entrances, and it amuses me to think that without Hogan, this team is little more than glorified jobbers. Boss Man would be getting a huge singles push soon, but for reasons that I flat out never got, he didn’t get the IC belt from Perfect at Summerslam. He just annihilated every member of the Heenan Family to get that match and then he won by DQ, never getting another major shot. He slowly became a jobber after that and then went to WCW.

It really was odd indeed. Tugboat would be leaving for WCW in a few years, becoming the legendary Shockmaster. Hogan of course gets a massive pop. Piper can’t understand the Hogan chant. Gorilla points it out to him and you can tell Piper is legit embarrassed. We start with Duggan and Haku. Haku is jumping off the ropes. Not bad since he weighs almost 300.

Over to Dino Bravo, who has to be the biggest waste of a wrestler of all time. He’s just pointless. What did this guy ever do other than having a fake championship? Dang Jimmy Hart had some sweet jackets. Boss Man comes in and Haku hits a SWEET dropkick. He nails him right in the head with it. Of course it barely hurts him and Boss Man takes him out with the Boss Man Slam. He then runs over at the heel corner to beat up all three other guys. That’s either brilliant or very, very stupid.

It’s Barbarian next and Boss Man is beating the heck out of him too. DAng why did he never win the IC belt? That just makes no sense. That move that I mentioned Shawn doing earlier apparently isn’t so rare as Barbarian tries it as well. Now Duggan is back in. Seriously, we’re 6 minutes in and it’s been Duggan and Boss Man for the faces the whole time. Duggan tries to knock down Earthquake but just can’t do it.

Eventually he gets the top rope pulled down by Jimmy Hart and picks up the board. Then, because he’s a genius, he whacks Earthquake with it to be eliminated. Dude, you’re an IDIOT! Seriously, he just ran in and hit him with it. Where is the thought process from either him or the booker here? It’s just random attacking that makes no sense. After that, Hogan immediately runs in for the showdown. Unlike the previous match, this actually happens.

Hogan had already won at Summerslam, but it was just by count out. He easily slams him as the crowd is wild. The fans were just WAY into Hogan in a way that’s insane. Hogan hits the classic 10 punches in the corner which needs to be done more often. It’s one of the easiest ways possible to get cheered. Of course it has no effect and Hogan is in trouble. I’ve always loved Earthquake’s powerslam.

He does that little thing where he hooks in the guy’s head right before he slams the guy and it just always works. Quake running on his knees to the corner is kind of funny looking. See, that worked. It was about a minute and a half long but it was at least solid contact. Hogan takes Bravo out with a small package. Piper curses again as Tugboat still hasn’t been in. Piper has a great line: Boy that Hulk Hogan is almost as smart as Roddy Piper. Is that true? I’m not sure.

Anyway, in one of the maybe 10 moves ever that have made my jaw drop, Boss Man, weighing well over 300lbs, goes to the top and comes off with a cross body. EARTHQUAKE CATCHES HIM WITH EASE. He doesn’t stumble, he doesn’t almost drop him, he catches him clean. That was absolutely amazing. Earthquake takes him out with a pair of elbows.

AGAIN Hogan is in. Gorilla literally forgets about Tugboat. That’s just funny. He has to be injured or something like that. They imply he’s been in but if he was I blinked and missed it. The fans are either chanting TOOT or booing him out of the building. I’m not sure which. Oh he’s finally in by the way. He and Quake “brawl” to the floor and both are out. He was legal less than 45 seconds. Yeah, definitely thinking injury there.

Oh well, at least it lasted longer than the helmet stayed on. Ok, so for no apparent reason, we’re down to Hogan and Barbarian. Uh, why? Why is this not Hogan and Earthquake? That’s your main feud, Hogan has already beaten him once and it wasn’t clean and you could argue that a one on one win here wouldn’t be clean either. I don’t get the point of it not being Hogan and Quake. Barbarian tries a piledriver but it wasn’t that good at all.

We get the WAY too common Hogan double clothesline spot that I’m hating more and more every time. Barbarian gets a great big boot to the face. I’m liking him more and more every match he has. He hits the top rope clothesline that was his de facto finisher and Gorilla is surprised that Hogan kicks out. Again, do I need to make fun of that? The Hulk Up begins and you know what’s coming next. Piper talks about how real men wear kilts. That’s why I don’t wear one.

Some annoying fan is screaming really high pitched and it’s annoying me. Hogan immediately beats up Heenan to no commentary. That was random and over the top violence. Some role model eh? Posing goes on for way too long as Piper again talks about how pro-American he is. It’s ok I suppose though.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t awful but it wasn’t great. The ending was a bit odd but we knew Hogan would win it. The Boss Man looked dominant as it took a kick from Barbarian who was on the apron to slow him down. Tugboat I guess was hurt? Either way he would become Typhoon soon enough I guess and then on to being the Shockmaster. Can we get this guy a good gimmick? Anyway, the match was just ok, but I’m not sure why it was booked like it was. Same result though so that’s fine.

Ad for the Royal Rumble. I can’t wait for that.

Fans talk about who they’re here to see. Um, ok? There’s an 8 or so year old on there that is FIRED UP! A very cool thing, we have a guy signing who he wants to win. Anyone that can speak sign language is awesome to me.

Randy Savage comes out and talks about wanting the title back from Warrior. This is setting the stage for the eventual epic showdown at Mania 7, as well as the reunion with Liz which is one of it not the most emotional moments in wrestling history. This is completely over the top and likely very cocaine induced.

Mercenaries vs. Alliance

Mercenaries: Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express
Alliance: Nikolai Volkoff, Tito Santana, Bushwackers

So yeah Nikolai is the captain of a team. That’s just amusing. Piper says the last egg he saw that was that big was the one Milli Vanilli laid, which has Gorilla about to completely lose it on air. This is the jobber match of the evening, although Slaughter would be about to get the world title in January. This was the patriotic match if you can’t tell. I guess it’s the everyone but American team vs. the team with only one American who hates America team.

They keep talking about the egg. I’ll save the surprise for you though. Slaughter is an Iraqi sympathizer here and has some old dude from the AWA with him. Eventually he’d pick up the Iron Sheik and they would be the least feared stable of all time. Gene catches up with Slaughter in the aisle (like that was a hard thing to do) and Slaughter says that he and his men had a good turkey dinner while the soldiers in the Middle East had a bad holiday.

This took three minutes somehow. Slaughter was going really far with this gimmick and it was actually very controversial and to this day it’s still a bit rough. This is the original Orient Express, meaning the far worse one. It wouldn’t be until the masked Kato came in that the team got very exciting and started tearing the house down with the Rockers on a regular basis. Boris is gone in less than a minute to the forearm of Tito.

Good to see that in 4 years Boris has risen so high above jobber status. It makes me wonder why he keeps getting spots on people’s teams. Sato of the Orient Express comes in and beats the tar out of Tito, but Butch of all people beats him up. The other Orient Express guy is tagged in, but the Bushwackers hit the Battering Ram on the non legal guy and pin him so it’s 4-2. Holy crap Tito is tagged in and after two and a half minutes it’s 4-1. Geez.

Anyway, it’s now the only guy that could actually do anything in this match, Sgt. Slaughter, vs. all four guys. It’s captain vs. captain to start with Slaughter vs. Volkoff. The Russian/American/Lithuanian is on offense for all of 10 seconds and now Slaughter is killing him. I’ve never gotten why he was considered any good. I guess it’s his gimmick that carried him. That makes sense. In a fairly unique move, Slaughter gets a side headlock and runs his head into the turnbuckle. I like that.

He hits a bad dropkick and then after spitting on him, an elbow pins him. Well that was pretty freaking weak. The Bushwackers run in and double team him but it lasts about 20 seconds and a stomach breaker ends Luke. Yeah it’s one of those kinds of matches. Butch is gone about 30 seconds after that so we get down to 1-1, with the two most talented guys in the match, in less than 7 minutes.

Tito hits the forearm from the top but of course that doesn’t end it, nor is it even acknowledged as a huge move. More or less, this came down to a one on one match, which is what it likely should have been the whole time, even though there’s no heat between these two. Piper makes some racial stereotypes about Latinos as Tito gets beaten on even more.

After about two minutes of Slaughter beating on him, he hits the forearm to bring us right back to where we started. The referee gets bumped and Sheik runs in and hits Tito for the DQ to make Tito the winner. Ok I guess, but this was just a weird match overall.

Rating: F. This had no business being 4-4. It had a talented guy on both teams and it wound up being 1-1 as it likely should have been all along. The other 6 were just window dressing and they meant nothing at all. This was a horrible Survivor Series match, but a decent little three and a half minute one on one match. However, that’s not how it was billed, so this was a failure.

The heel team for the Grand Finale says exactly what you would expect them to say. Actually just Martel and DiBiase talk but that’s likely the best choice.

And now it’s time for the white elephant in the room: the egg. For weeks if not months now, this thing has been around. The idea was the more lively the crowd gets, the faster it will hatch. As stupid and contrived of a concept as that is, we can go with that. Gene gets to be the master of ceremonies here for lack of a better term. All over what would evolve into the IWC back then, the speculation was on. Could it be Undertaker debuting? What about Ric Flair?

That was actually a very real possibility, even though he wouldn’t be there for about a year. Maybe a manager or a celebrity? No one knew. There was a rumor that it was the returning Jesse Ventura. Seriously, this was a secret that Vince actually kept very well for a change. That would turn out to be a good thing. The idea of who laid the egg was never touched on, but this egg was about 8 feet long so there had to be a person inside of it.

Gene speculates that it could be a dinosaur, a rabbit, or balloons. WHAT THE HECK? Number one, A FREAKING DINOSAUR? Come on Gene. Second, rabbits are mammals, and therefore don’t hatch. Balloons? Why would inanimate objects be in an egg? He also speculates it could be this month’s Playboy playmate. Yeah that’s even dumber. Gene’s acting here is flat out awful but he’s trying his best given what he’s working with.

The egg hatches and there he is: the Gobbledygooker. Yes, after over 6 weeks of buildup, it’s a guy in a turkey suit. WOW. After all that, it’s a stupid Thanksgiving mascot. Needless to say, this is booed out of the freaking building. Monsoon and Piper have the very fun job of trying to care at all. They apparently weren’t told what it was going to be. Gene makes bad jokes to try to pass the time.

It takes two minutes to get out of the eggs and now he’s making turkey sounds. Somehow Gene knows its name. Gene understands him too. Now, to make this even dumber, we get a rock version of Turkey in the Straw, and they go to the ring. It’s never explained if the turkey is male or female. Amazingly, the turkey can jump the top rope. Piper tries to imply that the kids like this guy as I feel so sorry for him.

As if that’s not enough, Gooker and Gene commence to dance in the middle of the ring. I kid you not, they begin to square dance. Gene rolls around after Gooker does some tumbling. Okerlund hitting the ropes and falling is the funniest part of this. The booing is off the charts here as Gorilla tries his hardest to make this passable. This goes on for EIGHT MINUTES. I kid you not, this segment almost went into double digits on the clock.

They leave, and the Gooker is crowned the worst gimmick of all time. Seriously, what in the heck was the point of this thing? They built it up for months so it’s not like they couldn’t have changed it at the last minute. They had all kinds of time to make this into something at least interesting. Given that it’s a massive egg, there’s only so much that they could do with it, but dang man seriously? This was the best they could come up with?

There’s a reason he made like two house show appearances and then wasn’t seen again for 11 years. Hector Guerrero deserves a medal for doing this. And Vince wonders why he was in serious financial trouble at this time.

The face team for the final match says they’ll survive. This takes about two and a half minutes as you can tell they’re stalling for time.

Grand Finale Match of Survival

Heels: DiBiase, Martel, Power and Glory, Warlord
Faces: Hogan, Warrior, Santana

Seriously, that’s the best name they could come up with? The ending here is fairly obvious and I’m not sure what the point of this was. DiBiase was a midcard guy by this point and he’s easily the biggest star on the team. The intros of course take forever so since the end of the gimmick segment, we’ve killed almost 8 minutes with intros and interviews. That’s not half bad. This might have been done by Vince to keep the fans from realizing that this is, say it with me, COMPLETELY POINTLESS!

Piper gets some sneaky lines in saying that he could care less about this and that the show is horrible. Warlord is out in less than 30 seconds to a forearm. Tito goes for it again on DiBiase but he crashes and burns. Gorilla saying missed it made me laugh. A stun gun takes out Santana about 8 seconds after that. Now it’s Hogan vs. DiBiase and if this was two years ago this could main event Wrestlemania. Instead, no one is interested.

Power and Glory really was a solid idea for a team. It might have worked had they both not sucked so much. What follows is about five minutes of jobber offense with the occasional elimination here and there. You know the faces are both going to survive and the fans know it too. Hogan was just not what he used to be at this point as the act was old.

He had been doing the same thing for over 6 years now, so of course Vince would keep using it for another year before the best idea he ever had next year, which we’ll get to tomorrow. After Hogan no sells the Power Plex, Roma is out to a clothesline. Yes I said a clothesline. HOW IN THE WORLD WAS HE A HORSEMAN??? Martel gets annihilated by Warrior after a hot tag but he bails after Hogan and Warrior beat on him forever.

So let me get this straight. We have a guy that was at his peak two years ago, and a guy that used to hate him because DiBiase called him his slave. Of course, that’s not mentioned here. DiBiase goes out to the big boot and legdrop and Hercules takes the splash of death to end him and end this horrid show. Hercules walked in, got powerslammed, clotheslined twice, shoulder block, splash. It took about 20 seconds. Massive roided up posing takes us out.

Rating: D-. Seriously, WHAT WAS THE POINT TO THIS? It’s just the big faces beating up on jobbers for 9 minutes. The fans aren’t interested, clearly, but Vince refused to do anything different and that’s why it sucked.

Overall Rating: F. This show was AWFUL. The first match made no sense from a booking perspective, the second is only important for historical aspects and not the wrestling involved, the third is a freaking squash match that made NO SENSE, the fourth is Hogan doing his old routine, and the fifth is a one on one match billed as a Survivor Series match.

The Gooker was SO STUPID and the finale was a waste of 9 minutes because Vince didn’t want to think. That’s how I would summarize this show: uninspired. It’s just there and NOTHING HAPPENS ON IT. Taker debuts, but no one knew that he would become what he is today. This whole thing was just a waste of time and the concept was a failure to this point, and that was the case for one clear reason: other than the first show, no heel team ever won a major match.

The first Survivor Series worked because the ending was a big surprise. Hogan…lost…on PPV…that just did not happen in big matches back then, period. Since then though, the faces have dominated every time. This could have been a huge show every year but instead, Vince decided to just push his top faces even harder which ultimately hurt business badly.

The buyrate for this show was horrid and Vince FINALLY woke up and did a more traditional show the next year with Hogan vs. Taker, which was interesting to say the least, but we’ll save that for tomorrow. Even I, the old school enthusiast that I am, say SCREW THIS SHOW. It’s just awful all around and not worth your time. Check out Taker’s match for the historical aspect and a passable match, but other than that go watch an old Thunder.

 

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