Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2005 (2013 Redo): Vince McMahon Is Down

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

The opening video is designed like a clock counting down in the Rumble. Cool idea there.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

The Canadian is sent back to the floor but he catches Shawn in an Edge-O-Matic to take over again. A baseball slide keeps Shawn down and we head back inside. The fans are firmly behind Shawn here, which means the heel turn is working for Edge. Shawn tries a standing rana but gets caught in a powerbomb for two instead. Off to a rear naked choke from Edge which stays on for a good while.

Anyway Shawn pounds away in the corner and grabs a rollup for two, prompting Edge to try to walk out. The imbecile of a referee holds Shawn back, allowing Edge to sneak up from behind and spear Shawn to the floor. Shawn finally crawls back in and Edge dances a bit. Edge tunes up the band and spears Shawn down for two more, sending Edge into a fit. He pulls his own hair out and does those awesome facials that only Edge can do.

With nothing else to try, Edge puts Shawn on top for a superplex, only to get knocked down for the flying elbow from Shawn. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop for two more and Edge is very frustrated. Edge rolls through a sunset flip into the Edgeucator (imagine a Sharpshooter but with Edge behind Shawn like an ankle lock) but Shawn makes the rope. After a small package gets two for Shawn, Edge reverses a rollup into one of his own and grabs the ropes for the cheap pin.

Heidenreich is panicking about caskets when Snitsky comes up. Heavy breathing ensues and Snitsky says he has an idea.

The casket is brought out.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches I was expecting to suck but it wound up being pretty solid. Angle is going to be good no matter what he does and Show had some solid motivation out there for a change. JBL escaping with the title was a recurring theme for nearly a year until he ran into a buzzsaw called John Cena in a few months. Shockingly good match here.

Batista goes to draw his number and hears Bischoff bar Evolution from ringside for the next match. Big Dave seems very happy to tell HHH.

Long video recapping HHH vs. Orton. They hate each other, Orton was never supposed to get another shot, so tonight he gets another shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

The Game goes after the taped up knee and wraps it around the post because he can. HHH modifies the cannonball down onto the leg by dropping an elbow instead of sitting on it. After a quick attempt at a small package by Orton, HHH puts on a LONG Figure Four, lasting way longer than almost any other I can remember. Orton finally turns it over, sending HHH retreating to the floor.

Orton counters a Pedigree attempt into a catapult but HHH counters the RKO for at least the third time before hitting the high knee for two. Randy is bleeding from the lip. The Pedigree is escaped again and Orton gets two off a clothesline. The champ rolls to the floor again and gets sent into the steps for trying to hide. Back in and Orton pounds away in the corner, only to miss a DDT attempt and possibly give himself a concussion.

Teddy tells JBL and company that Jibbles has to defend the title against Big Show in a barbed wire steel cage match at No Way Out.

Royal Rumble

Benoit and Eddie fire off chops in the corner followed by a double suplex because they can. Eddie hits Three Amigos and Hardcore Holly is #4. Holly asks if he can have some fun with Puder and rips some skin off with chops in the corner. Benoit and Eddie get in some chops of their own before Holly kicks Puder low, hits the Alabama Slam, and throws him out. Hurricane is #5 as Guerrero and Benoit dump Holly.

Hurricane gets double teamed but Eddie tries a double cross, only to get chopped for his efforts. Hurricane hits a Blockbuster on Eddie but Benoit chops him down and whips him into Eddie for the elimination. Kenzo Suzuki (one of the most forgettable footnotes in wrestling history) is #6. Just like everyone else, Benoit and Eddie pound on him in the corner with chops and suplexes, but Benoit turns on Eddie ala earlier but only throws him to the apron.

Shawn is #19 and superkicks Simon out, doing some Hindu Squats to celebrate. Edge tries to corner Mysterio in a corner. JR: “Makes a lot of sense.” Shawn backdrops Charlie out and Kurt Angle is #20. He hits Angle Slams on everything in sight but tries the ankle lock on Shawn. Michaels rolls through and superkicks Angle out after less than 40 seconds. Coach is #21 and you can hear JR groan. He gets in a single shot on Benoit and runs to hide.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

Redo: B-

The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D-

Redo: D

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B

Redo: C+

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: B-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Like I said, I liked the Rumble a lot more this time around.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/24/royal-rumble-count-up-2005-the-rise-of-the-new-generation/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2005 (Original): West Side Rumble

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

Before I get going, this is the Rumble where the promo was designed after West Side Story. The tag line was “All the rumbling, minus the dancing and singing.” Again I say, WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE THESE PEOPLE ON??? It’s not the scariest part that these people are agreeing to put this on, but that someone THOUGHT THIS UP and GOT PAID TO DO IT. I mean come on now. WEST SIDE STORY???

This is supposed to be one of the biggest fights of the year and it’s WEST FREAKING SIDE STORY??? ANYWAY, the rest of this show looks pretty weak other than the Rumble. Other than another year passing, we’ve seen the rise of Batista and Cena, who are all of a sudden the hottest guys in the company.

HHH is world champion in a stunning revelation and is facing Orton tonight, allegedly in his last title shot. Say it with me: HA! We also have JBL defending against Show and Angle in a match I completely don’t remember. Oh and Edge is back and an Achilles enthusiast now. Let’s get to this.

Our opening video talks about how the legacy of the Rumble continues tonight. That’s fine. We shift to an alley where we have Raw and Smackdown dressed like it’s the 1950s and singing about fighting each other, with one line being: “We’ll step into the ring and reach an understanding. When the smoke has cleared I’ll be the last man standing.” Please, I beg of you now, end my life so I don’t have to listen to this anymore!

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Edge has been using Metalingus for 5 years almost? Methinks this might be dubbed. Oddly enough the same band is doing the theme song for the PPV. At Taboo Tuesday, Shawn had gotten voted into the title match instead of Edge, so we get this as a result. Ross calls HBK a first ballot Hall of Famer. Who makes the ballots for that thing? I want that job. My first step: shorten the class size to like 5.

We start off fast, shocking no one. They already reference the 95 Rumble so at least they’re starting it early. To kill some time we list of some of Shawn’s accomplishments because we have to do that at least once a week. The heel heat that Edge is already drawing is really impressive. In a painful looking spot, Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic on the floor. That can’t feel good, which I think is the point. The crowd is hot tonight so that’s good.

Within maybe 30 seconds of each other, Lawler says that Edge has never gotten a world title shot and Ross says if Edge ever starts doing shampoo commercials he’ll be perfect. For those that have no clue why this is interesting, both of those things not only happened, but they both happened in 2002. Yeah I need a life don’t I? After Shawn comes back for a good while we hit the floor where Edge hits a spear.

For the love of mangoes he needs a new finisher. This is kind of an odd choice for an opening match. They’re both big names, so why not save this for a bit later? I guess because with only five matches on the card there’s no other place to put it. Edge tunes up the band but instead throws out the spear for two. Edge counters Sweet Chin Music into a SWEET electric chair that gets two. Edge is having a mental breakdown over this and his facials are still epic.

He counters a sunset flip into that weird kneeling Sharpshooter thing he would do that was always weird looking. The hold looks just completely awful when you look at it for more than three seconds. Shawn is in it over a minute and doesn’t tap which is fairly cool I suppose. Edge finishes with a reversed rollup and uses the ropes for a pin. I like that ending. Edge’s reaction of completely freaking out and screaming I DID IT was just awesome.

Rating: B. It took me awhile to figure out if I liked this match or not. The ending made it for me though as Edge getting the win was a big deal. Shawn definitely didn’t need a win here while this was Edge’s biggest win of his career at this point. The ropes at the end helped a lot too to play up Edge as a heel. This was a very good match overall with the booking being especially good.

We go to the back where Bischoff and Long, who more or less is the same character that he is now. Torrie and Christy are running the number draw as Eddie and Flair come in, both dressed like kings. Eddie starts to reach in but Flair stops him. He dances a bit and says 16 times.

Eddie pulls his hand back and lets Ric go first. That was great to me for some reason. Ric is thrilled with his number and Eddie is upset. Ric brags and then Eddie hugs him. Flair shows the girls his number and realizes Eddie stole his and chases after him. That was a lot better than it sounds.

Heidenreich is in the back, talking about how he hates caskets. Snitsky comes up and says he knows Heidenreich hates caskets, but they like each other and Snitsky has an idea. There are more gay overtones here than there were with Piper and Bob Orton, and that’s saying A LOT.

We recap Taker vs. Heidenreich (Jon, because that takes too long to type) which more or less was Heyman bringing Jon in and them fighting a bit. Jon was supposed to be some big tough fighter or something but he was bland as all goodness and it bombed badly.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

This is a casket match. They actually start with wrestling stuff, shocking the heck out of me. Taker keeps using headlocks to drag Jon to the casket. That’s really smart as it freaks Jon out. Jon is kind of an MMA/street fighter kind of guy but he’s just not that good at it. In an awesome spot, we’re in the corner with Jon throwing punches at Taker. Taker grabs the ropes and throws his legs up to tie up Jon in a triangle choke while still up in the corner. That was awesome.

Tazz points out why Cole is messing up the names of the moves which Cole gets annoyed with. For some reason the fans start booing the heck out of the match. Oh Snitsky is here. They double team Taker with a double suplex and Jon somehow manages to botch that. Do you have any idea how hard it is to mess up a move like that? Kane is in the casket. This was supposed to be Taker’s match at Mania. I’m glad they went with Taker vs. Orton instead aren’t you?

The announcers are of course stunned at someone hiding in a casket, despite Taker having done it about a million times. Jon moves the casket away from the ring for no apparent reason. Taker is back to beat on him some more as we have a Christian Coalition sign in the front row. TNA is already spreading. They’re on PPV at this point so I guess it’s possible, even though Christian was still in WWE at this point so ignore me.

Apparently Taker’s knee is hurt or something like that. Jon pulls back the mat as this match is a train wreck at this point. With Taker laying on the floor, Jon gets a running start with the casket to ram it into Taker. Granted he was almost under the ring so it actually would have been easy to get out of the way so there we go. Jon goes to his finisher: a cobra clutch. Are you starting to see why this guy was such an epic failure?

Naturally as Taker is put in the casket, he gets an arm out. This needs to end, like NOW. Jon uses a Boss Man Slam which Cole says Taker nailed him with. Yeah they botched that call something awful. The crowd really isn’t that interested either. Jon rolls him to the casket and in the EXACT SAME SEQUENCE, Taker gets out. After a REALLY bad chokeslam, the tombstone finally ends this.

Rating: D-. This was just bad on a lot of levels. There were all kinds of blown spots and the Snitsky and Kane run in was completely pointless. What’s the point in booking Taker in these matches if he never loses them? Jon was supposed to be Taker’s arch rival. That’s just funny. At least this finally ended this awful feud so we don’t have to put up with it anymore. This was really bad.

Ad for Mania.

In the back, Long wants Eddie to give back the number. Eddie’s face is priceless on this. Evolution shows up and demands it back, but Eddie gives it up. He’s also made to give back Flair’s wallet which Flair didn’t know about. Why aren’t these guys ever sued? Anyway, Batista says he needs to go get his number and he’ll be right back. HHH says they have to plan something. Batista says it’ll only take a minute and HHH orders him to stay. This doesn’t go well. Well at least they didn’t try to be subtle.

Christian and Tomko are ready to pick their numbers. He’s happy with it until Cena comes in to a huge pop. They have a battle rap that goes nowhere. The best part is when Christian asks Tomko for a beat and Tomko just says no. Cena makes gay jokes and the crowd pops for no apparent reason.

JBL is champion. Angle wants to be champion. Show wants to be champion. If that’s not validation for a triple threat I don’t know what is.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Kurt Angle vs. JBL

Angle and JBL had a last man standing match on Smackdown apparently so they’re both sore. JBL with the limo was always cool. Show is the odds on favorite apparently. They did a double knock out on Smackdown. This is in the middle of JBL’s reign of doom where he held the belt for almost ten months. They need to get that belt back. It just looks awesome. Apparently there’s a petition to get rid of Teddy Long.

Angle hides on the floor which is a smart idea. They’re broadcasting in New Zealand apparently, so there you go Shadow! Show chops people quite a bit. Show is more or less dominating here. We have steps set up leading to the table which is a bit odd. Show sets for a chokeslam on JBL through it from on top of the steps, but Angle low blows him and a monitor shot puts Show through the table so it’s Angle and JBL at the moment.

The two of them fight it out in the ring to kill some time for Big Show to get back. Geez Show is huge compared to when he was the Giant still. That guy could have carried a company but he had to get all big and fat and slow and it didn’t work at all. Show gets back in and beats both guys up again and looks ready to win, more or less guaranteeing that he won’t. Just as I say that, the others team up to put him down with a combination Clothesline and chop block.

Show hits a chokeslam but JBL gets the foot on the rope. Show is actually moving with something resembling speed. And there goes the barricade as Show puts JBL through it. We cue up the run ins as Jindrak and Reigns come in to take out Big Show while the Cabinet gets JBL up and gives him a chair.

It isn’t used though as Angle walks into the Clothesline for the pin to keep the title as the fans boo the heck out of it. They don’t have much to boo about as he got a clean pin. Show got robbed apparently and would get a barbed wire cage match the next month that had a cool ending.

Rating: B. While I hate triple threats, this was pretty good. There was a flow here that you don’t often see in them as they kept one guy down for a good amount of the match in Big Show, which is definitely a good idea given how big he is and that he was the favorite. While it’s no classic, I like this one I think. It’s better than most I’ve seen if nothing else.

Batista won’t get rid of Long via the petition. He threatens Carlito who swallows the apple. In a continuous camera shot we go to the place where numbers are drawn and the GMs are arguing. Apparently Evolution is barred from ringside in the next match and Batista wants to tell HHH. You can see the turn a mile away.

Promo for Mania. It’s the Hollywood one this time.

Ross and Lawler talk about the PPV theme song and the Raw main event for no apparent reason.

We recap it as they had been feuding for months yet they kept going at it anyway. Who would have seen that? Orton allegedly wasn’t allowed to have another shot but of course he’s getting it again here. Orton got cheated out of the title at New Year’s Revolution by Evolution so he gets the shot here. I love how these guys have been feuding for almost five years over a team that existed for all of two years.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH

Orton is the somewhat over face here. He was far more over about 4 months ago but because he was over, HHH was clearly the better choice for the belt than the young, over hotshot that was getting better and more popular every time he got in the ring. Orton goes for an RKO and HHH throws him over the ropes. Why couldn’t it injure him like it did in I think their second last man standing match? Orton used to have this weird style of punches that he’s using here.

I’ve never been able to get into it either. Oh and Orton has a bad knee of course. He swears about 7 times in 5 seconds in a nice touch. Why does something tell me that this will be by far and away the longest match of the night outside of the Rumble? HHH is already using the figure four because he has to be the new Ric Flair in every single way he can be. So we start fast and now HHH has decided to slow things down.

Did I mention that I really hate this match and rivalry? If there’s ever been a guy that has changed so completely over the years, it’s Orton. He’s almost unrecognizable both as far as looks go and the way he works in the ring. It’s a total contrast. Orton is bleeding badly from the lip and looks a lot like Ted DiBiase in that shot. He counters a Pedigree as I just couldn’t care less about this match.

There’s just something that’s always been missing between these two when they got at it and it’s always hurt this match. Granted this is better than most of their future matches, but the problem is already coming clearly here: they want this to be some epic encounter but at the same time, nothing ever comes of it and that’s not a good thing at all. Orton takes a shot to the head and looks like he has a concussion that I think is faked as they keep getting shots of it.

Dang it the referee went down. This match just needs to end and it needs to do so now. It’s hammer time as I’d advise you to make your own jokes. We’ve hit the part of the match that always happens between these two. There comes a point where it’s always about the hammer and not about the wrestling at all. This is where these matches lose it for me as I just freaking don’t care anymore about them.

Why does everything have to follow the same formula of a long match leading up to one moment where the hammer is the key to the whole thing while the referee is down? It always comes to this and it’s just boring to say the least. Also, get some referees that can take a freaking hit. HHH gets the Pedigree and the academic pin to thankfully end this with HHH STILL having the belt.

Rating: D+. This was the same match you’ve seen from these guys a dozen times but with Orton as the face. HHH was clearly going to win and it was to have a title match on the show and nothing more. There was no point to this at all and it just wasn’t interesting whatsoever. HHH and Orton simply can’t have a great match and they need to stop trying like they seem to have done.

Nunzio gets a spot in the Rumble and Angle steals it from him and says it’s his unless Nunzio wants to fight for it. Ok then.

JBL and the Cabinet come into the drawing room celebrating with champagne and Long says there’s a barbed wire cage match at No Way Out. JBL’s face is great here.

Ross and Tazz are doing the commentary for the Rumble again.

Royal Rumble

Eddie is number one and Benoit is number two. Not a bad way to start. Benoit is rocking the teal here. Dang Benoit has bad luck as he was first last year. This is borderline chilling when you think about it. Naturally, this is a technical showcase which is what it should be. Daniel Puder, perhaps the most worthless wrestler in a long time, is third. His theme song is Getting Away With Murder. Talk about chilling.

It should be noted that the runner up in the Tough Enough show that Puder won was the Miz. Talk about two different career paths. Geez. Puder gets on the mic and says he’s great. Was there something in the water at that Tough Enough show? Naturally the two former world champions beat the living tar out of him. More or less they just spend the 90 seconds chopping and suplexing the heck out of him as Holly, the rookie hater, is 4th. This should be great.

He gets in and asks if he can have some fun with Puder too. He’s had zero offense. This really is quite funny. Even Holly is over because of this. Think about that for a bit. Holly throws what’s left of him out as Hurricane is 5th. Benoit and Guerrero throw out Holly since he’s useless again to get us down to three. They team up and Eddie tries to throw Benoit out and they’re at it again. Hurricane is out as Kenzo Suzuki, another completely worthless human being is number 6.

This Rumble feels like it hasn’t even gotten started yet and since we’re 1/5 of the way through, that’s not good. Again they double team the other guy until Benoit tries to throw Eddie out. Edge is in at seven. Rey is eighth as nothing at all is happening. Kenzo is out almost immediately. It’s not a good sign at all when you have four world champions in the ring and there’s just nothing going on at all. I mean it’s just boring for some reason.

The Guerrero vs. Mysterio feud was coming soon and it would be Eddie’s next to last major one. Shelton Benjamin, the IC Champion, is number 9. He hadn’t had his big match with Shawn yet to really get him over but it was coming. At this point he was just a guy with untapped potential rather than now as a guy that no one takes seriously with untapped potential. He would finally break out soon after this at MITB at Mania.

Booker takes us to ten as the least successful wrestler out of the 6 in there is Shelton Benjamin. They’re blowing their load too fast here as Tazz messes up by saying that Booker vs. HHH was last year. Benjamin might have gone out but we’re looking at Bischoff who just showed up for no apparent reason. We continue the insane star power in there with Jericho at 11th. He’s WAY over with a huge Y2J chant.

Hey looks here’s Teddy Long as Vince continues the theory of keep pushing the Brand Split until people accept it so you can say it was a good idea. Luther (for admin) Reigns comes in at 12 to break that streak. There are way too many people in there right now. Now we throw every man for himself out the window as Raw and Smackdown get on different sides for four one on one matches that consist of Rey vs. Jericho, Benoit vs. Reigns, Booker vs. Edge and Eddie vs. Shelton.

This is kind of cool but kind of stupid as it’s turning the Rumble into an even bigger gimmick match than it usually is. Muhammad Hassan, the most controversial wrestler perhaps of the millennium, is number 13. Everyone stops cold for this. His manager is more commonly known as Sheik Abdul Bashir in case you didn’t know that. In a humorous bit, everyone jumps him at once to a great pop. Rey gets 619 and then almost everyone picks him up and throws him out as a group. That was great.

Orlando Jordan is number 14 as this needs to stop being so gimmicky. Tazz tries to compare Orlando Jordan to Shelton Benjamin. That’s just amazing. In a TERRIBLE shot, Shelton is choking Jericho with his feet and Jericho has to grab the foot to move it to his throat. It looked terrible. Scotty is number 15, apparently returning from a tumor in his balls or something. Hassan keeps up a tradition of beating up Scotty on his way to the ring. That has to be what, three times?

So for another year, Scotty doesn’t get into the match. Charlie Haas is 16th. How in the world did he get a chick like Jackie Gayda? Booker throws out Luther (for admin) and Orlando with ease. Booker goes for a spinaroonie but Eddie jumps him to put him out. We have Benoit, Guerrero, Shelton, Edge, Jericho, Haas and Rey in there at the moment. In yet another chilling line, Ross says Benoit and Guerrero are still alive.

Rene Dupree and the poodle is seventeenth to insane heat. The World’s Greatest Tag Team reunites for all of a second with Shelton then going for a Stinger Splash, actually called that by Ross, and Edge dumps him. Simon Dean is 18th as the Rumble is legal. While he’s warming up on the floor, Edge throws out Eddie to great heat. Shawn is 19th. He hammers Edge before casually turning around to clothesline Dean out. Eddie gets a huge chant as he leaves.

Ross says that Edge is trying to corner Rey in a corner. Shawn throws out Haas which gets no recognition as Ross thinks it was Dupree. Angle is 20 and he comes in and stays insane since saying going insane wouldn’t make a lot of sense. Shawn misses a superkick but hits the second to put Angle out in a shocker. Angle is TICKED. Currently we have Benoit, Edge, Rey, Jericho, Dupree and Shawn in there and they’re joined by the Coach of all people at 21.

This is the thing I hate about rumbles like these: what’s the point of putting him in there? Was there no one else on Raw that could have gone in there at all? I mean you couldn’t throw Lawler in there who at least was a wrestler? Rey almost puts Jericho as Jindrak comes in at 22. Angle runs back in and beats up Shawn and throws him over the top. Shawn is bleeding and apparently is out now, setting up their Mania 21 classic.

Number 23 is Viscera who still has no one that cares about him. At least he’s got a shirt on here. Paul London is 25th and he slides in so fast that he almost goes out the other side. Dupree does that stupid French Tickler dance and Jericho puts him out for it. Cena is 24th to a MASSIVE pop. Tazz likes him way too much.

He was just about to shatter the glass ceiling as he would win the world title at Mania from JBL. He manages to backdrop Viscera to eliminate him. I don’t care if you like Cena or not: he has SCARY strength.

Snitsky is 26th. London jumps him and in a video that’s become popular on the internet for obvious reasons, Gene clotheslines him so hard that London got spun backwards which I don’t think was planned. Kane is 27th, causing Tazz to freak over the way that Ross has to put up with these explosions. As someone that’s been surprised by his pyro, I feel his pain. Kane cleans house of course and there goes Jindrak.

A shirtless Coach tries to jump him but Snitsky saves him. London goes out on a stretcher. Batista is 28th and the pop is epic. They were pushing him to the moon around this time and it clearly was the right decision at the end. There goes Snitsky. Kane continues his tradition of getting beaten up by Batista, this time taking the powerbomb. Batista puts out his third guy by throwing out Jericho.

Christian is 29th, finally with the Just Close Your Eyes theme whose current version I’m completely addicted to. Cena goes off on Edge to show off their future great feud. Cena gets a half F5 half FU to Kane to put him out. Flair is number 30, making the final group Benoit, Edge, Coach, Batista, Cena, Christian, Rey and Flair. So other than Coach, all world champions in some company. Not bad at all. Flair throws Coach to Batista for a spinebuster and Flair throws him out.

There goes Christian. He and Edge were both wearing purple. Benoit and Flair have a chop off. Flair and Batista do the same thing to Benoit that they did to Coach. Flair tries to throw out Batista and it doesn’t go well. Rey and Edge knock Batista down with a double dropkick. Edge puts Flair out and your final four are Edge, Rey, Cena and Batista. Not bad at all. Edge hits a spear on Batista and Cena but Rey avoids it.

619 hits but Rey goes too fast and goes over and a spear puts him on the floor. Batista and Cena put Edge out to get the dream match for the final two. The crowd reacts to this in a great way. This has to headline Mania someday. Cena gets him up for the FU but Batista gets out. Cena is put up for the Batista Bomb but they go out at the same time in an homage to the 94 Rumble. Screw the homage part. It’s the same finish, but to be fair that was 11 years ago so I think it’s ok.

The referees argue over it until Vince comes out. He slides into the ring and hits his legs on the apron, ripping his quads and knees apart. He tries to stand up and just crumples to the ground in agony. Instead of screaming in pain or whatever, he sits on the mat leaning against the ropes and does his thing. Batista clearly is about to lose it. Think about it from his perspective for a minute.

You’re wrestling in the main event of the Royal Rumble, one of the biggest shows on the year and you’re in an angle that’s going to send you to Wrestlemania, and your boss, a billionaire, is sitting on the mat after collapsing and ripping his legs apart, not to mention the epic adrenaline rush you must have just been on. Think about that for a minute or two. Anyway, Fink says Vince ordered the match to be restarted.

This translates into Cena vs. Batista. Shouldn’t that mean Benoit and Guerrero come out again and we do the whole Rumble over? That’s what it sounds like to me. Anyway, Batista throws Cena over and then Cena throws Batista over before this is said which is just stupid, at least from Cena. FU is countered and after a spinebuster, Batista throws him out for the easy win.

Rating: B-. I’ve seen far worse I guess. This match never really seemed to get going for my tastes. Now to be fair while it was clear that Batista was the winner before the match even started, they did have Cena out there as a potential winner along with Edge who was a new main event guy, so at least they tried.

I just couldn’t get into this as there were too many things where the match more or less stopped for something. Also having the huge rush of talent in the first third hurt later parts of the match where those guys could come out. It was good but it could have been a lot better.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s some good stuff and there’s some bad stuff here, but the good is more prolific than the bad here. This was a lot more about changing the guard by launching Batista and Cena into the next level which makes it a bit awkward but that’s ok I think. They were the right choices and this was a great way to do the change. I like the show overall, but the second and fourth matches leave a bit to be desired. Not bad, but don’t expect to be blown away.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Major League Wrestling Fusion – January 4, 2020: I Love Good Commentary References

IMG Credit: Major League Wrestling

Fusion #91
Date: January 4, 2020
Location: Melrose Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: AJ Kirsch, Rich Bocchini

We’re still in New York to start the new year and it’s time for the semifinals of the Opera Cup. The first set of matches were pretty good and hopefully the semifinals and finals should be fine. Other than that, because it has been at least a week, we have another Jimmy Havoc vs. Mance Warner match. Let’s get to it.

Mance Warner yells about how he and Jimmy Havoc have fought several times. They’ve busted each other open and now Jimmy has left him bandaged up. Havoc needed his princess to help bust him open so Warner is going to put all that in his pockets and carry it with him to Dallas, Texas for their barbed wire match. That’s all well and good, but was there a reason why he was looking just off the center of the camera?

Opening sequence.

Here’s Tom Lawlor, in a Von Erichs shirt, with someone we don’t know. All anyone wants to talk to Lawlor about is the Von Erich family but that’s because they’re idiots. The only people dumber than them are these fans and Lawlor sees a lot of fakes in the crowd. In the back though, he sees a couple of fake Von Erichs (my kingdom for a Lance reference) so tonight, Tom wants to face the greatest Von Erich: Lance’s son (SWEET!) RIP VON ERICH!

Tom Lawlor vs Rip Von Erich

Rich: “Who the h*** is this ham and egger???” Lawlor offers Rip (who is a bit short but looks fine enough otherwise) a test of strength before shouldering him down. Rip tries another shoulder and bounces off of Lawlor before it’s time to work on the wrist. Now it’s a half crab as Lawlor starts in with the torture. Rip fights up, spins around a few times, and misses a discus punch. That sets up the airplane spin so Rip tries the Claw, earning himself a rear naked choke, complete with a Claw, to give Lawlor the win at 3:20.

Rating: D. It was an idea but they didn’t go far enough with the joke. Lawlor isn’t a big guy but Rip looked more like a regular jobber and not the kind of person you would really make fun of here. It helped when he was inept in the ring, but the joke really didn’t set in at the beginning.

Post match Lawlor celebrates his victory over the Von Erichs. He’s ready for people to be cheering for him instead of the Von Erichs. Cue Ross and Marshall (it took long enough) but the Spirit Squad of all people jump them from behind and the big beatdown is on. Even the corner man helps in with the stomping.

It’s the Zero Hour Control Center, focusing on Gino Medina and the AAA partnership. Oh and barbed wire of course.

We look at Contra attacking the debuting Stronghearts last week.

Richard Holliday and Alexander Hammerstone want Gino Medina in the Dynasty when Salina de la Renta comes in to laugh at the. Hammerstone says stop c*** blocking them but she doesn’t know what she’s blocking.

Davey Boy Smith Jr. is ready to out wrestle Hammerstone to make the finals of the Opera Cup. Fatigue is going to set in on Hammerstone and the submissions are coming.

Opera Cup Semifinals: Alexander Hammerstone vs. Davey Boy Smith Jr.

Non-title, Holliday is with Hammerstone and MJF is on commentary because we’re a lucky audience this week. After MJF is bored with Smith and refuses a handshake with AJ without a lot of hand sanitizer, we’re ready to go with a battle over wristlocking. Smith takes him down for a double arm crank with AJ talking about leverage. MJF: “AJ the word is shut your mouth and stop making eye contact.”

Smith it sent hard into the ropes and has to skin the cat, only to have Holliday grab his foot. Hammerstone hits a bicycle kick (MJF: “HE GOT A BICYCLE!” The old school references are on fire this week!) and they go outside with Smith being dropped back first onto the barricade. Back in and Hammerstone stomps away in the corner as MJF goes into a tirade about a suggestion that he isn’t the leader of the Dynasty.

Hammerstone puts on the chinlock and demands that the referee ask him in Canadian (heard something similar before and it’s still funny). That’s broken up in a hurry so Hammerstone hits a dropkick (MJF: “THE MEAT CASTLE! GETTING AIR! AJ, was that dropkick tough enough???) for two, setting up something like a seated abdominal stretch. Smith fights back up and wins a slugout, including some right hands in the corner.

A big boot into the legdrop sends MJF into a short rant about how un-American these fans are for cheering for a Canadian. The Nightmare Pendulum is loaded up but Smith counters into the Crossface, only to have Holliday offer a distraction. MJF: “There’s clearly a bug on his kickpad!” Hammerstone kicks Holliday by mistake (MJF: “WHAT’S GOING ON??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”) and it’s a running powerslam into a Swan Dive to give Smith the pin at 8:55. MJF: “WHO THE H*** IS STU HART???”

Rating: C+. The wrestling was fine here but it was the MJF show as he was one of the most entertaining and hilarious guest commentators I’ve ever seen. He knows exactly what he is and who he is supposed to be and that’s a great thing for everyone. I’m sure he won’t be in MLW forever, so enjoy him while you can until he gets to AEW full time.

Post match Hammerstone loads up a handshake but Holliday pulls him away.

Brian Pillman Jr. is used to being the underdog because he left his home at 13 and no one helped him get into wrestling. Cue Injustice, who thinks they should be getting this interview time. They threaten Pillman with violence, because if Pillman is hurt, they get his spot as the alternates.

Contra is ready to destroy the Strong Hearts.

Erick Stevens is coming.

Video on Low Ki.

Strong Hearts vs. Contra

Cima is getting a World Title shot against Jacob Fatu in February so there are some future tie-ins here. Gotch and Cima chop it out to start with Cima shrugging off a takedown and hitting a dropkick. Another dropkick to the back sends Gotch into the corner and it’s Lindaman coming in for his own shot to the back. The much smaller Lindaman is brought into the Contra corner and the stomps/chops begin.

Gotch rakes him with the boot in the corner and it’s Fatu coming in for the real beating. Gotch’s suplex makes it worse for Lindaman and he’s smart enough to drag things back into the corner. There’s a low superkick from Fatu but Lindaman slugs away and even manages to get him up for a slam. Unfortunately he can’t turn it over though and Fatu falls on top of him with a big crash.

Lindaman finally gets over and it’s Irie, the big man, coming in with a slingshot splash for two on Gotch. To mix it up a bit, Irie piledrives Samael onto Gotch for the double knockdown and it’s time for the hoss fight between Irie and Fatu. An exchange of clotheslines doesn’t go very far but Fatu gets the better of an exchange of crossbodies. A handspring moonsault gets two on Irie and everything breaks down with all six heading outside.

Irie hits a suicide dive on Fatu, who jumps back inside to hit his own, giving us those crazy eyes. Back in and Fatu can’t quite beat up all three of them at once, allowing Cima to knee him in the head, setting up Lindaman’s bridging German suplex for two. Lindaman hits a big flip dive onto Gotch but Fatu hits a pop up Samoan drop on Cima. The double springboard moonsault finishes Cima at 11:01.

Rating: C+. I’m really not sure how smart it is to have the World Champion pin the debuting #1 contender with his finisher after a pretty dominant six man tag. Cima can do a lot of things in the ring but that doesn’t seem like the best idea in the world. That being said, Fatu is a total monster and I can go for seeing him do whatever he wants out there, just like this.

Lawlor challenges the Von Erichs to defend their Tag Team Titles against his two best students.

Overall Rating: C. This could have been a lot worse and I’ll take what I can get. The matches were ok, but the show doesn’t really have a major direction at the moment. Cima being thrown out there as the next #1 contender doesn’t do much for them and the Opera Cup seems to be the top story. That’s not exactly great stuff, though it’s still an entertaining enough show. Just get a bigger top story soon, plus more MJF talking is always appreciated.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Best Of 2019: Promo Of The Year

IMG Credit: WWE

Promo Of The Year

This is another important one because while the wrestling world revolves around matches, it’s the promos that make people care about them. A good promo can take a feud (or a character, or anything for that matter) and turn them into something people care about in a big way. There were some awesome promos this year and they weren’t even always about matches.

The Inner Circle Mocks Cody (Dynamite – November 6)

This is one of those things that was put together so perfectly that it was actually memorable. Cody had released a video talking about how important the World Title match was for him and a bunch of talking heads agreed and said how much this was going to matter. It was a really good video and some of the best stuff ever from Cody, but it became obsolete the second this aired.

The Inner Circle aired its own version of the video, mocking every single thing Cody said and did, even down to having Virgil appear as a completely random talking head, going on about how Chris Jericho’s World Title reign will be like the breadsticks at Olive Garden: unlimited. I laughed more than once at this and it was the funniest thing AEW has put out to date. There was real effort in this but more importantly it was from people who knew how to be funny, and it was.

Kofi Kingston: You Know What Comes Next (Smackdown – April 2)

I don’t think there’s any secret to the fact that Kofimania was probably the most memorable part of the entire year. Kofi Kingston made the jump to main eventer and his rise to the title turned into an avalanche with one of the best payoffs in recent memory. He had to get there somehow though and that’s what happened here, in probably the most memorable promo of his career.

On the go home show for Wrestlemania XXXV, we had the contract signing between Bryan and Kingston. Bryan did not seem worried as he signed, saying that this was where it all ended for Kofi. That wasn’t going well for Kofi though, who got more aggressive and showed more fire than he has in his entire career, promising to go to Wrestlemania where Bryan knew what would come next. You could feel the energy here and, for me at least, it made me believe that Kofi could actually do this. If he didn’t, he was likely never getting another similar chance, giving us all the making for an instant classic (which it was).

Tommaso Ciampa: Welcome To The Main Roster (NXT – November 6)

One of the best things about the entire year was the rise of NXT. A lot of that came from Survivor Series as NXT rose up from developmental to something that no one could have ever realistically imagine. The three way feud between Raw, Smackdown and NXT saw all three shows showing up at each others’ events and causing chaos, which included one of the best lines of the year.

On the November 6 NXT, the OC invaded the show to kick things off. This brought out one of the last men in NXT that you want mad at you, Tommaso Ciampa, out to the ramp. Ciampa got straight to the point by welcoming the three oft hem to the main roster. That simple line told you everything you needed to know about NXT’s mindset in this battle and you knew that we were in for something special, which is exactly what you got.

Maxwell Jacob Friedman Trolls Bret Hart (Double Or Nothing)

This one is cheating a bit but since I set the rules for this thing, I think it’s going to be fine. The big segment was designed to introduce the World Title but it also helped set up Hangman Page vs. Maxwell Jacob Friedman. Hart came out with the title and unveiled it, but Friedman wasn’t about to let that kind of opportunity pass him by, which made things more interesting.

Friedman, referencing the attack at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony the previous month, came out and shouted “BRET! LOOK OUT! A FAN!” The rest of the segment came and went, but my goodness it was amazing. Friedman might be the best talker in the world right now and this was one of his best moments ever. It showed you what he could do on the big stage and that makes me very interested in where he gets to go in the future.

Nick Aldis: From A Punchline To A Powerhouse (NWA Powerrr – October 8)

I almost left this one off but the NWA deserves at least a mention somewhere. I did not want to do Powerrr every week. By then I already had a bunch of shows to cover every single week and hearing about the NWA getting a show just made my head hurt. My idea was to watch one episode and then move on to something else. And of course, the show was really good and a lot of that came from one promo at the beginning of the first show.

I know it hasn’t meant much in the last few….well decades really, but the NWA World Title is one of the most important championships ever in wrestling. That title design is legendary and a long list of legends have held it before. Nick Aldis is the World Champion, so it made sense to have him front and center for the debut show. He explained that it was a new era and the NWA was no longer a punchline. By acknowledging their failures and looking straight into the camera on such a simple set, Aldis gave you the feel for the show in one interview and I knew we were in for something great.

Firefly Fun House Debut (Monday Night Raw – April 22)

This is one of those segments where you have no idea what it is going to lead to but egads it caught your attention. We had only know Bray Wyatt as the cult leader and then he’s here, as some deranged version of Pee Wee Herman, complete with talking animals. As Jim Cornette said about Steve Austin, you knew he was going to be a big deal but nobody knew how big.

There isn’t much in the first episode, but it made you understand that something big was coming here and that’s what mattered. It got your attention and showed you that there was something else to Wyatt instead of just the same stuff. What followed was even better, but this set the stage in a way that nothing else has done in a very long time.

And one more from a day you may remember.

Cody Sets Up Full Gear (Dynamite – November 6)

Sweet goodness November 6 was a big day. This is a more simple concept: we have a World Title match and Cody needs to sell it. The fact that his father is Dusty Rhodes probably helped this out a lot because….well his dad is possibly the best promo of all time, and that means he had some good stuff to draw from.

Cody went on an incredible rant about how much he needed to become World Champion to honor his legacy but also prove that he belongs on the list of all time greats. This was pure emotion and the whole thing made me want to see Cody win the title. It was one of the best promos he’s ever done and he even agreed to never challenge for the World Title again if he lost. Ok so it might not have been the brightest move in the world, but it was a great delivery and got its point across, which makes it the best of the year.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – January 13, 2020: Brock Lesnar Laughs At This Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 13, 2020
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vic Joseph

We’re less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble and that means things need to pick up a lot. The Rumbles themselves have barely meant anything so far as it seems to be all about Brock Lesnar for the men and Charlotte seems destined for the women’s. You know, in case you were worrying about something fresh sneaking in. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the end zone in the lower arena.

Opening sequence.

Your regular rant that only I care about: this show is not on the campus of the University of Kentucky. Rupp Arena is not owned by the University nor on its campus. I know just saying “Lexington” is too much to ask for WWE, but when you spend four years of your life at a school, it can get annoying hearing them get it wrong (or intentionally saying it wrong) EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Here’s Randy Orton for an opening chat. The music stops but Orton gets cheered so much that he has to get on the ropes for one more pose. Orton, not on the mic: “I had to.” Orton says he was asked to come out here and excitedly welcome everyone to Raw. He isn’t the excitedly kind of guy though so he’ll invited one single person out here instead.

That would be AJ Styles and sweet goodness that hair has a life of its own. AJ mocks Orton for faking a knee injury and having the gall to suggest that he is the favorite to win the Royal Rumble. Last week, the world saw AJ Styles hit the greatest RKO anyone has ever seen. AJ: “It was beautiful!” People even said it was phenomenal but AJ would rather talk about the Rumble, which draws out Drew McIntyre.

Drew says he’s been tested lately, with the Conga Line putting him on the ropes last week. Now he wants some more competition, so here are AJ Styles and Randy Orton having an RKO size measuring contest. Drew: “My Claymore is bigger.” That makes Orton drop his mic and McIntyre wants a triple threat right now. Ring the bell.

Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre gets knocked to the floor early on and Orton breaks up a way too soon Phenomenal Forearm attempt. Cue the Good Brothers in a hurry with an RKO taking down Anderson and a Claymore to Gallows as we take a break. Back with AJ sitting on top and getting chopped by Drew, who gets crotched on top. Orton joins them and tries a superplex on AJ, only to have Drew sit up and German superplex Orton who superplexes AJ for a rather cool spot.

The fans accurately think this is awesome as Drew beats on both of them in turn. There’s the Futureshock to AJ and a headbutt to Orton but the Claymore is cut off with a dropkick. They all head outside with Orton hitting Drew in the face to knock him silly before staring AJ down. Back in and AJ catches Orton with a hanging DDT but Orton blocks an RKO (that’s weird to say). Another attempt is countered….and that means a Styles Clash to AJ for a close two. AJ is back up but walks into the RKO, only to get Claymored by Drew, who pins Orton for the win at 10:22.

Rating: C+. This was a weird setup where they were trying to do two things at once: advance AJ vs. Orton and make Drew seem like more of a threat. That was a little hard to do in a match that has nothing to do with winning the Royal Rumble but it was good for him to get this kind of a win. The Styles Clash to AJ was a great touch and I’m curious to see how they blow the thing off. Good match too, even with the triple threat formula.

We recap Big Show returning last week to help Kevin Owens and Samoa Joe against Seth Rollins and the AOP.

Rollins talks to the AOP about how you’re either with us or against us but no one can stop them. That includes Owens, Joe and Big Show in case that wasn’t clear. Rollins has done everything to make sure their destiny is intact and tonight, you will see what happens when you don’t embrace his vision.

Ricochet vs. Mojo Rawley

Ricochet starts fast with an anklescissors into a dropkick, allowing him to get in a little dancing for a bonus. Mojo gets thrown outside and that means a big flip dive as the announcers talk about what that would mean in the Royal Rumble. Back in and Mojo hits a quick Pounce for two, followed by a corner splash to make it worse. The Alabama Slam out of the corner is blocked though and Ricochet kicks him in the head, setting up the Recoil. Ricochet hits the 630 for the pin at 3:21.

Rating: C-. Rawley is still someone who I’d like to see a bit more from but he was just a warm body for Ricochet to pin here. That’s all well and good too as Ricochet is one of the brightest stars around. I could go for seeing him get a big run in the Rumble, though there is no way he’s getting close to the main event because he’s never been in the main event before so we can’t put him there for the first time.

The Street Profits are excited about what is coming for the rest of the of the night, but Dawkins is too concerned with his Oscar ballot. Ford: “WOW! An important pop culture reference!” For now though, ring Charlotte’s music.

Charlotte vs. Sarah Logan

Fallout (not a rematch since the bell never rang) from last week when Sarah jumped Charlotte and attacked her robe. Charlotte kicks her in the face at the bell and Logan is already on the floor for a breather as Lawler recites nursery rhymes. Charlotte follows her outside for some chops so Logan hammers away at the ribs. The rather slow paced count continues as they keep brawling but they dive back in at nine. That works for Charlotte, who sends her into the buckle and slaps on the Figure Eight for the pin at 2:04. Just give Charlotte the Rumble already, unless there’s a heck of a surprise in the works.

Post match Charlotte puts on her robe and leaves but comes back to throw Logan over the top in a nice touch.

Samoa Joe and Kevin Owens are looking forward to the Fist Fight. Big Show comes in and says it’s time to reintroduce Seth Rollins to his fist.

Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar, with Heyman making fun of the crowd. Heyman: “Ladies and gentlemen and things that live in Kentucky….” The fans then cheer his introduction so Heyman calls them stupid for not getting the idea. Now it’s a YOU SUCK chant so the two of them walk to the ramp and think about leaving. Heyman: “My client DOES NOT suck!” They get back in the ring so Heyman can recap the fact that Lesnar is in the Royal Rumble and entering #1, though it takes some shouting to get over the fans booing him out of the building.

Heyman talks about the new Streak in WWE, which is different from the one that Brock Lesnar broke. This Streak is made up of his spoilers, like the one where he says Brock will win the Royal Rumble despite entering at #1. The spoilers will set you free because they are truth….and here’s R-Truth to interrupt. He’s heard about the big man being in the Rumble and just like his childhood hero John Cena taught him, he’ll never give up. That’s why at the Royal Rumble, he’s throwing Paul Heyman over the top.

Paul is stunned and Lesnar is DONE, laughing his head off and not being able to look at Truth. That doesn’t stop Truth from talking about how he’ll get rid of Heyman, who calls Truth “Bong Hit” and says Brock is the one in the Rumble. Truth unenters the Rumble and says it’s hard to keep track of what Heyman says because “you talk a lot”. Brock can barely stand up straight from the laughter and even Heyman can’t calm him down.

Truth says he doesn’t want to be taken to Sioux Falls City. Heyman: “IT’S SUPLEX CITY! SUPLEX CITY! SUPLEX CITY! YOU’RE NOT FUNNY!” Brock gets in Truth’s face so Truth asks what’s up and starts dancing, only to get taken down by a clothesline. The F5 leaves Truth laying and Brock picks up the 24/7 Title, which he throws back at Truth. Brock: “That’s what’s up.” This was hysterical, even if it added nothing. Seeing Brock not being able to control himself was a special feeling and I can’t blame him as Truth was great here, as always.

Post break Truth is being helped to the back so here’s Mojo Rawley to pin him and steal the title.

Earlier tonight, Lana and Bobby Lashley arrived. They’re not happy with being asked about the wedding and we see some highlights. Lana understands that everyone is jealous of them because they’re so amazing. They’ve made some New Year’s Resolutions: accept that everyone is jealous of them and CRUSH RUSEV.

Bobby Lashley vs. Rusev

They go straight into the brawl and Rusev gets two off a spinwheel kick. Lashley is right back with right hands in the corner but a suplex gets Rusev out of trouble. Some kicks to the back and another suplex have Lashley down, and the Cannonball gets two. A thumb to the eye and a running clothesline put Rusev on the floor though and a spear takes us to a break.

Back with Rusev fighting out of a chinlock but getting kicked in the knee to cut that off in a hurry. Rusev kicks his way out of trouble and hits a Samoa drop. Lashley’s German suplex is no sold and it’s the jumping superkick to put Lashley down. Lana offers a distraction though and Lashley gets in a cheap shot.

Cue Liv Morgan to go after Lana and threaten to rip the wig off her hair, among other insults that we can’t make out due to rapid fire camera cuts. Lana steals a drink from a fan to throw in her face and send her into the barricade, leaving Lashley to hit the spear and finish Rusev at 14:22.

Rating: C-. This felt a lot shorter than it was and the match wasn’t all that good. That’s a big part of the feud as we are not in the fifth month and we have only seen two matches. Neither of them have been very good either, and now we are likely setting up a mixed tag with the men needing to take care of the not very good women. How is this supposed to be an upgrade?

Post match Lana rants about how no one mistreats her because she’s a supermodel, a fashionista, a fashionista and a celebrity. Therefore, next week it’s a mixed tag, with Lashley not exactly being happy with needing to take care of Rusev and Lana at the same time.

Here are the Viking Raiders to issue an open challenge because they want to fight.

Viking Raiders vs. ???

Non-title, Open Challenge, Singh Brothers, Viking Experience, 38 seconds. That’s still too much Singh Brothers.

Rusev and Liv accept, with Liv saying she is the “living embodiment of karma and karma isn’t a goddess.” NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS! And they’re never going to go into what could have been an interesting story with Liv and Lana are they?

Here’s Becky Lynch to sign the contract for her Royal Rumble title defense against Asuka. Before Asuka comes out, Lynch can’t manage to say anything, which is rather out of character for her. Asuka comes out with Kairi Sane and rants in Japanese. Kairi messes with Becky with the umbrella so Becky throws it out in an emotional outburst.

Asuka, looking bored, signs and Becky, with a heavy sigh, does as well. Becky says may the best woman win and takes the mist to the face as Asuka laughs a lot and leaves with Sane. Replays show that it hit her square in the eyes too. The medics come out and work on Becky’s eyes as she screams in pain.

She demands a microphone though and talks about how the money and the fame are poison to people who fight for a living and her veins are full of it. Asuka has brought out something in her and she is coming to the Rumble to fight. If she goes down, she is going down swinging and taking Asuka with her. This was the fired up promo that Becky can deliver very well and I really, really want to see this match.

We look back at Andrade retaining the United States Title over Rey Mysterio and stealing Mysterio’s mask, only to have Rey snap and take it back later in the night.

Next week: Andrade defends against Mysterio in a ladder match.

Zelina Vega talks about how Andrade was man enough to take the title from Mysterio and then beat him again last week. Then Andrade was man enough to take Rey’s mask but Rey had to attack and steal the title from them. That’s why they have filed a criminal complaint against him and why Mysterio is a horrible example to Latinos everywhere. Andrade promise to defeat Mysterio again and then rants in Spanish about keeping his title.

Mysterio talks about representing Latinos with all of his heart. He’s coming for the title next week and will give it everything he has because he’s fighting for respect as well.

Video on Aleister Black vs. Buddy Murphy.

Buddy Murphy vs. Aleister Black

They go straight for the strikes until Black just glares at him. The threat of Black Mass sends Murphy to the floor and they brawl against the barricade. Black gets the better of it and they fight up the aisle with Lawler talking about various opponents he just could not beat over the years. Black gets slammed hard onto the ramp but Murphy is smart (I think?) enough to break up the count.

Another kick to the leg knocks Murphy off the barricade though and they head back inside for the first time in a good while. Back in and Black gets sent into the post, setting up a suplex to the floor and we take a break. We come back with Black hitting a running knee to send Murphy into the timekeeper’s area. They get back in with the fans finding it awesome as Black strikes away.

Neither Black Mass nor Murphy’s Law can connect though so Murphy sends him outside again, only to have Black slide back in for a running knee to the face. Murphy hits a kick to the head though and drops Black off the top. He spends too much time on top though and gets kicked out to the floor for the massive crash. Black crashes to the floor also though and we need a bit of a breather.

They both crawl back in to beat the count and the slugout is on again. Black gets the better of it again by kicking him in the head, only to get superkicked out of the air on a moonsault attempt. Murphy’s Law connects for two as Black puts his foot on the rope. With nothing else working, Murphy tries his own Black Mass, only to get caught with the real thing. That’s only good for two, due to what seems to be a ridiculous complaint from the referee about a shoulder being up. That’s fine with Black, who hits a second for the pin at 13:48.

Rating: B. These two have awesome chemistry together and I could watch Black strike away for days. Murphy has been excellent as well as he tries to figure out a way to stop the monster that is Black. They have found a nice feud here and even though Buddy has lost three times in a row, he has moved forward and away from 205 Live so it’s a step in the right direction.

Erick Rowan vs. ???

Murphy is still sitting at ringside and says not now on the questions. Rowan throws him outside and then into the barricade but it’s time to look into the cage. Rowan even reaches inside, only to be bitten to draw some blood. That’s not cool with Rowan, who takes it out on the jobber. The Iron Claw finishes at 1:32.

Big Show/Kevin Owens/Samoa Joe vs. Seth Rollins/AOP

Fist Fight, meaning anything goes and the only way to win is for the referee to say your team can’t continue. The AOP and Rollins jump Show during his entrance so here are Owens and Joe with kendo sticks for the save. The fight is on and it’s Show and Rollins in the ring while the other four fight by the entrance.

Show chops Rollins against the barricade but Rollins manages a posting. Owens one ups that by running up the curved set and flip diving onto the AOP on the floor (very cool moment). Joe dives off the ramp onto Akam and everyone is down again. Rollins is sent outside and finds the still seated Murphy, who he begs for help.

That’s just what happens, as Murphy gets in and hits Show low, allowing the two of them to put Show through a table in the corner. Joe and Owens are sent through the announcers’ table for the huge crash and now it’s time to surround Show. The AOP powerbomb Show and it’s the Stomp to make the referee end it at 5:17.

Rating: D+. The angle with Murphy was the point of course and that’s the right way to go. Rollins as the Monday Night Messiah is interesting and having him get some followers is a good idea. What matters most here though is getting someone fresh on a higher level and that includes Murphy. I don’t know if he’s the big solution, but you have to upgrade someone at some point and they tried it here. The surprise was better in person as Murphy wasn’t shown on the big screen, or at least not shown for more than a split second, so it was an even bigger surprise.

Post match Rollins hugs the AOP and then Murphy to end the show. Nothing happened after the show went off the air.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a show dedicated to moving things forward but at the same time they had some pretty good wrestling to go with it. The deal at the end with Murphy helped more than anything else and it was a show that helped get things ready for the Rumble. Throw in Lesnar dying of laughter as he couldn’t handle Truth’s antics and I had a rather good time with the show. Maybe part of it was being there live, but I had fun with this one.

Results

Drew McIntyre b. AJ Styles and Randy Orton – Claymore to Orton

Ricochet b. Mojo Rawley – 630

Charlotte b. Sarah Logan – Figure Eight

Bobby Lashley b. Rusev – Spear

Viking Raiders b. Singh Brothers – Viking Experience to Samir

Aleister Black b. Buddy Murphy – Black Mass

Erick Rowan b. ??? – Iron Claw

Seth Rollins/AOP b. Big Show/Kevin Owens/Samoa Joe via knockout

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Best Of 2019: Wrestler Of The Year

IMG Credit: WWE

I’m picking these using a random number generator and I didn’t intend for two of the biggest ones to be included on the first day. This might be the most important award of all and there were a lot of names to pick from this year. You really could go in a lot of directions with this one and that makes things all the more fascinating.

Adam Cole

Sometimes, you look at a wrestler and just see “it”. That’s not the easiest concept to define, but it’s something that you either have or you don’t. Adam Cole has it and he has a lot of it. There’s something about him that just screams STAR, which is impressive considering his not incredibly impressive physique (look back at his Ring of Honor days and see if you can find his biceps).

What you get from Cole is the complete package. He has a rather punchable face, some great promos and some even better matches. This was a year where Cole reached the top of the mountain in NXT and that isn’t something that people reach easily. It’s a big deal to make it there and it’s going to be a big deal when someone beats him. Cole has his reputation for a reason and that isn’t going to change anytime soon.

Kofi Kingston

Kofi is a weird case as he had the biggest and most successful career of his life (don’t forget a pair of Tag Team Title reigns to go along with the World Title) but….he’s always been this good. I can’t think of a single bad match Kofi has had in years. He’s been one of the top merchandise sellers for a long time now because of New Day and he’s going to be in the Hall of Fame both on his own and as part of the team. That’s an amazing run and this was the crowning achievement.

That being said, it was more a year of him finally getting a chance than him elevating himself that much more. It’s part of the curse of being that good: how much better can you really get? Kingston has been one of my favorites for a long time now and he’s FINALLY had his big moment and career day. Yeah he’s one of the best in the world, but how is that different than most years?

Seth Rollins

Now I know this one is going to get some people annoyed, but Rollins had one of the best years in a long time. You don’t beat Brock Lesnar twice in a single year and not get some praise for it and that’s what he did here. The problem though is how far Raw fell with him on top and that isn’t something that is going to go away.

I know Rollins is one of the best in the world once the bell rings, but there isn’t much to him as a face. When one of your biggest stories of the year was the fact that your girlfriend is a top star, your career is kind of in trouble, even if you are World Champion. Rollins is someone who can do all kinds of things, but being the top star does not seem to be one of them. It was a bad year for Raw and Rollins was on top for a lot of it, which isn’t a good thing.

Shayne Baszler

NXT deserves some attention here and Baszler was one of their best. There is something great to be said about being the wrestler who surprises you every single time by leaving as champion, especially when you’re sure it’s her time to lose. However, the catch with Baszler is that she always seemed to deserve to retain the title because she was that good. How many people can say that?

The thing that strikes me the most about Shayna is the fact that she is STILL down in NXT (though I’d be surprised if she isn’t in the Rumble). It says a lot that she has been one of its top stars during its breakout year and that is worthy of a lot of attention. She is learning how to command a ring and an audience and even though she may be older than a lot of the roster, she has a lot of things that they don’t and that was on display this year.

Chris Jericho

After TLC II at Wrestlemania XVII, Jim Ross said something like “just when you think these six men couldn’t raise the bar any more, they did it.” That’s how I feel about Jericho. How many times do you believe that he has to be done, only to see him reinvent himself AGAIN? It’s an amazing thing to see and he has done it again with Le Champion and the Little Bit Of The Bubbly stuff. It’s uncanny at this point and he just keeps doing it.

Jericho has put AEW on his back and carried them as far as they have gone so far. He’s easily the biggest star in the whole company and someone who feels important every single time he’s on screen. You don’t do that at his age and he’s making it look easy, because he really is that great. Jericho has earned this and when you throw in his stuff with New Japan, it’s even more impressive.

Daniel Bryan

I was lucky enough to be at Wrestlemania XXX when Bryan won the WWE Championship in one of the all time great moments. It’s one of the coolest things that you’ll ever see in wrestling as Bryan was the ultimate underdog and pulled off the miracle (not on Bourbon Street Cole, though it sounded great). That being said, he’s a better heel than face and that was on display in 2019.

Bryan turned into Captain Planet with Erick Rowan in one of the most bizarre yet oddly perfect teams in years and wound up tearing the house down most nights. Those promos he had are some of the best you’ll see all year, like having a hemp title so that a cow named Daisy didn’t have to suffer. That was one of those lines that made me wonder if it came to him in a dream because no human should be able to come up with it. This was a great year for Bryan as he showed how versatile he really is.

Becky Lynch

This is one where if it was done by PWI rules (as in July to June), Lynch would win in a heartbeat. The problem though is she cooled off a good bit down the stretch due to running out of people to face. I know that’s a weird complaint to make because she was that good, but other than Asuka now, who is supposed to be seen as a real threat to her (other than Charlotte, who she never needs to face again)?

That being said, the first half of her year included the biggest match in the history of women’s wrestling and a legitimate milestone/game changer moment. That’s something that no one is ever going to be able to take away from her and she deserves all of the praise and accolades that she gets from it. Wrestlemania made her a legend, but there were other things going on that year.

And now, for one of the biggest surprises of the year as the winner.

Bray Wyatt

Character means a lot in wrestling and sweet goodness did Wyatt have it in spades this year. The Firefly Fun House started off as some kooky idea from Wyatt and turned into absolute must see TV every single week. At first everything was a bunch of fun and games (literally in some cases) but then we heard about someone called….The Fiend. It was time to be off to the races.

One day we got to see the Fiend in person and while it was Wyatt in a mask, this felt different. Above all else, Wyatt felt like a different person and someone who was genuinely scary. I got to see him in person a few times and the crowd went quiet when he appeared. Not quiet in a boredom kind of way, but quiet in a “what are we seeing” kind of way. I’ve only heard of that from one person before and that’s the Undertaker. That’s as solid of a compliment as you can get and it worked every time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Best Of 2019: Worst Major Show Of The Year

IMG Credit: WWE

Yeah we had to get to this one too, even though it is the kind of thing that rarely ends well. In this case we have a few choices to pick from and believe it or not, one of them has to do with Saudi Arabia. Other than that it’s likely going to be about one show, but that’s the case with this one more often than not.

Super Showdown

We’ll start off in Saudi Arabia as they’re already recycling a name from another (and much better) show. This one was built around the idea of Goldberg vs. Undertaker in a match that might have been really good twenty years ago, but they did have a solid segment building things up. The aura was there, but that’s about as far as I can go with the positives.

Here’s the thing: I can give Goldberg vs. Undertaker all the slack in the world for one simple reason: Goldberg was hurt and basically out on his feet. Yes it was bad but it was bad because of an injury, and that’s a different story entirely. What isn’t a different story is Randy Orton vs. HHH, Seth Rollins defending against Baron Corbin and Kofi Kingston defending against Dolph Ziggler. Outside of the dream match main event, this show felt thrown together with every rematch they could think of and those matches were awful. Terrible show here, with the least amount of effort possible.

Royal Rumble

Really, this wasn’t a bad show but I needed more than two nominees for the whole thing. As tends to be the case with the bigger shows, this was too long and needed to be trimmed down by a good bit. I know it’s cool to have the Women’s Royal Rumble but at the same time, there is only so much that can be done with such a long show. If you’re going to have two matches go an hour, you really can’t put much else on the show other than maybe three other matches. Since it’s WWE, this one had SEVEN more, only one of which was less than twelve minutes long.

That’s where the whole thing falls apart: it’s way too long and the Rumble winners are hardly memorable. You can probably chalk that up to booking, but having two Rumbles on the same day makes the match, as in the point of the show, feel a lot less important. I’m really not a fan of this and I don’t see it getting any better in 2020. That’s quite the shame, but WWE tends to be able to mess up their best things by making them too long.

Ok you know what’s winning so let’s get it over with.

Hell In A Cell

What is there even to say about this? A majority of the card was made less than three days before the show, with multiple matches being added on Sunday. It felt like this show didn’t matter to the company and the fans who paid to see it were wasting their money in one way or another. If WWE doesn’t care about the match, why in the world should the people paying their money to see it? Now normally that’s as bad of a reaction as you can get, but in this case there’s something a lot worse.

The Cell has been around for over twenty years and is one of WWE’s true aces. Even in the PG Era, the match still has a certain mystique and aura around it. That was thrown away for the sake of….what even was the point anyway? WWE put the title on the Fiend THE SAME MONTH but for some reason they needed to have him lose (because a referee stoppage is a loss) here in one of his first major matches.

It’s not like it was some fluke either. Rollins beat the fire out of him for the whole match and then it was stopped with Rollins winning. Yeah Fiend got up, but the damage was done. This was horrible and capped off one of the worst shows of all time from any company, let alone just in 2019.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Best Of 2019: Match Of The Year

IMG Credit: WWE

We might as well get one of the bigger ones out of the way. Wrestling is a lot of things but at the end of the day, it revolves around what happens in the ring. You can do all the promos and segments you want, but somewhere in there you have to have a big match (don’t tell Vince Russo). That was the case in a lot of places this year and some of them were outstanding.

WWE Championship: Men’s Elimination Chamber

I’m putting this one first because a good chunk of the match doesn’t matter. It wasn’t until it became clear that Kofi Kingston could actually pull this off that it got really, REALLY good, with one of the best sections of a match I’ve seen WWE put together in years. This was different than Kingston just being the last victim.

There was a feeling that Kofi could win and all of a sudden, you began to realize how much you wanted to see him actually be WWE Champion. The big thing was how real the whole possibility felt and that isn’t something you get more often than not. I bought into more than one of these near falls and by the end of it, I was spent, which is as big of a success as you can get.

Men’s Survivor Series

This is another one where the atmosphere helped things out incredibly well and I was wondering how it was going to end (granted me being in the audience that day helped a lot). This was the triple threat format with NXT included and that was what everyone wanted to see. I downgrade this one a bit due to some of the booking choices (Walter being eliminated in two minutes was inexcusable) but the end with Lee pinning Rollins and then having the showdown with Reigns was top notch.

What mattered here was how big it felt. I wasn’t sure who was going to win this and they gave it enough time to build things up rather than rushing through everything. It’s what I wanted from a Survivor Series match and the reason I had been trying to go to a show for so many years. Couple that with Lee getting the clean pin on Rollins and this was a joy to watch.

United Kingdom Title: Pete Dunne vs. Walter (Takeover: New York)

We’ll still with NXT for a match that you knew you wanted to see from the second Walter debuted at Takeover: Blackpool. Dunne’s title reign seemed like it would never end because no one could actually beat him. That’s where Walter came in, as it became a question of who could possibly defeat Dunne after everyone else had failed. That’s a heck of an atmosphere and they set it up to perfection.

Then there was the actual match and sweet goodness what a fight. This was Dunne going out on his shield as Walter just could not be stopped. They beat the fire out of each other and it nearly stole the weekend, with some of the hardest hitting shots you’ll ever see. It became a question of who could survive and ultimately Walter took the title in an instant classic. Incredible stuff, as British Strong Style tends to be.

WWE Championship: Daniel Bryan vs. Kofi Kingston (Wrestlemania XXXV)

And now we have a sequel to the Elimination Chamber. This is a great example of what putting in the effort over the years can get you. Kingston had been in WWE since 2006 and somehow had never had a one on one match for the WWE Championship. It was very similar to the Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton feeling at the 2008 Royal Rumble and now we were finally getting the chance. It felt special and that’s what it wound up being.

What mattered here was the very end. It wasn’t clear until Kingston actually won that he might pull it off, because it was hard to believe that they would actually pull the trigger. After Kingston won the title though, the magic really began. New Day unveiled the classic title and Kofi’s kids came in to celebrate with him. You don’t get a special feeling like that very often but when it’s real, you can feel it. That’s what Kofi gave us and it was one of the best in years.

NXT Title: Johnny Gargano vs. Adam Cole (Takeover: New York

Dang it was a great Wrestlemania weekend. This one was both a case of what might have been and a case of what we wound up getting. There isn’t much of a secret that this was supposed to be the final blowoff between Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa’s all time classic feud, but alas Ciampa’s neck flared up and he had to be pulled. This is what we got instead and it happened to be great.

What we got was a heck of a fight with both guys making you believe that they could win at any given time. Some of the near falls were outstanding and while there were times where it went beyond the realm of being believable, it was the kind of moment that everyone had been waiting to see. Gargano FINALLY won the title that he had been chasing for years and it came after a great match.

So we have emotion and great action, but not both at a high level throughout. This changes that.

United Kingdom Title: Walter vs. Tyler Bate (Takeover: Cardiff)

I was excited for this one coming in after seeing the two of them tear the house down at a Progress show the year before. What we had here was a David vs. Goliath story with the much smaller (yet incredibly strong) Bate fighting the unstoppable monster. They took that simple story and knocked it out of the park with one of the best fights I’ve seen in a long time.

What made this work was how they made Walter look desperate. Walter comes off as someone who never gets shaken but this time around he could not finish Bate no matter what he did. The fans got behind Bate because he would not stay down until Walter FINALLY hit him with everything he had in a heck of a clothesline to retain the title. There was something so raw about Walter just having to unload on him like that to win and it was a great moment to end the Match of the Year.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Best Of 2019: Spot Of The Year

IMG Credit: WWE

So it’s that time again as we need to look back at everything that took place, both the good and the bad, of the last year. However, since this year is also the start of a decade, it’s going to be a double shot of the whole thing. Therefore, I’m going to blaze through these with three or four a day for the next five days for the 2019 Awards and then do the same thing next week for the 2010s Awards. I don’t want these things dragging out forever like they usually do so marathoning them is the best option. Let’s get to it.

This is one of the cooler ones as a lot of people are going to remember the short bursts of things instead of the big, long editions. That’s perfectly understandable and it was the case again this year. These are the quick moments that blew people’s minds and just looked cool, which are going to leave a lot of people talking for a long time to come.

Johnny Gargano And Adam Cole’s Double Dive (Takeover: Toronto)

In a feud that had one long, epic match after another for the NXT Title, they needed something big to close it out and that’s what they had here. This was inside a hardcore cage and they beat the heck out of each other, with the match going on for over fifty minutes with neither being able to pull it off. That meant it was time to do something huge and they did that in spade.

At the end of the match, both of them wound up at the top of the cage and then dove off (for whatever reason) and crashed HARD through a table, with Cole covering Gargano to retain the title. This was an absolutely insane ending and the crash looked incredible, as it was going to be whomever could get an arm over winning the thing. Just awesome stuff here and it came at the end of an epic match.

Tommaso Ciampa Ends Adam Cole (Takeover: WarGames)

WarGames is the kind of match that works every single time. It’s one of the biggest and most violent matches in WWE and while it hasn’t been around long in this company, it has developed a reputation as something special. A lot of that is due to it being in NXT where they can do some better stuff, and the big ending to this year’s men’s match lived up to the hype.

At the end of a long WarGames, Tommaso Ciampa and Adam Cole wound up on top of the double cage and there was a table beneath them. There was no way that this would end well and that was exactly what happened, with Ciampa lifting Cole up for a super White Noise through the table to FINALLY finish the match. I was in the arena for this one and could barely look, because the image of Cole upside down and that high in the air actually got to me a bit. That was something else and thankfully they were both ok. It was the only way to end the match and Ciampa looked like a star all over again.

Randy Orton Spikes Ricochet (Raw – October 28)

There are some finishers that are going to work no matter how many times you see them. Some of the best finishers in the world have become nearly iconic and that is the case with the RKO. It has even turned into a joke about how Orton can hit it from anywhere, which makes the thing that much more impactful. That was the case again this time, but the landing is what made it work.

In the buildup to Crown Jewel’s ten man tag, it was time for everyone to go after everyone on the other team. This was prime time for an RKO Outta Nowhere and that’s what happened, with Ricochet missing a dive off the top but rolling to his feet. Orton slid in and hit a heck of an RKO, with Ricochet landing on the top of his head for one of the best sells I’ve ever seen from the move. The RKO still works great and Ricochet can do things that no one else can and that was incredible.

But then, there was this.

Keith Lee Pounces Adam Cole Off The Screen (NXT – November 27)

Wrestling is not a normal world. It is basically a comic book come to life at times and that makes things all the more interesting. At the same time though, these people are human and there are only so many things that they can do. Sometimes though you get someone who can do things that do not seem human, which is what we saw on this day.

Lee and Dominik Dijakovic were challenging for the NXT Tag Team Titles when Cole interfered. This did not sit well with Lee, who Pounced Cole over the barricade and off camera in something that looked like it was out of a cartoon. It was one of the most ridiculous (in a good way) things I’ve ever seen as Cole was knocked a crazy distance in another instance of Lee looking inhuman. This stuck with me more than anything else and it was the Spot Of The Year.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2004 (2018 Redo): Get That Monster!

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big night and one of the most important shows of the year as we officially start the Road to Wrestlemania. The Royal Rumble is more wide open than in recent years and that’s often the best thing that can happen for the match. Other than that we have a pair of World Title matches, with Raw’s likely being too long and Smackdown’s needing to move on before the company makes itself look worse. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how life’s road is unpredictable and how one turn can change everything. As you might guess, the Last Man Standing match gets the most time and the Rumble itself is mentioned last.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Flair and Batista are defending and it’s a tables match with Coach on commentary. Before the match, Batista gets in a quick jab at the Dudleys for being the biggest losers since the Philadelphia Eagles. They fight on the floor to start with Batista clotheslining the post by mistake to put the champs in early trouble. In a painful looking impact, Bubba slides a table from one side of the ring to the other, hitting Batista in the ribs to keep him in trouble.

A neckbreaker slows Batista down and D-Von takes him to the floor with a Cactus Clothesline. Flair has Bubba in the corner on a table (that’s so wrong for Flair) but Bubba is right back with the Flip Flop and Fly (that’s more Flair’s speed) Batista comes back in for the save though as I’m glad they’re not wasting time with tags here.

The belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination puts Batista down as Evolution can’t get much going here. Flair goes up, and in a shocking change of events, Flair gets slammed down. It’s time for the table but cue Coach, with his bad ribs, for the save. That earns him a What’s Up attempt but Flair makes a save of his own. Batista is back in with a spinebuster to put D-Von through a table for the win.

Rating: D-. Just a Raw match designed to get these guys on the show, though I can appreciate them putting the tables match on first and hopefully we don’t get a bunch of chants about wanting tables. Other than that, I see nothing positive about this entire thing. Batista and Flair are fine as champions, but it’s not like they have anyone important to feud against at this point.

Flair says they’ll keep the titles as long as they want.

John Cena raps about how he’s going to win but Rob Van Dam comes in to steal the last rhyme, saying he’ll win the Rumble. Cena makes weed jokes and says Van Dam can suck his candy cane.

There’s an empty chair for Mick Foley, should he bother to show up.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Rey is defending and Jamie has the still blind Nidia with him. A 619 attempt in the first ten seconds is countered into a hot shot as Jamie takes over. Cole says that Nidia, who is blind, is looking on as Jamie hiptosses Rey down, earning one heck of a tongue lashing from Tazz. Rey gets in a dropkick and a hurricanrana, followed by the sitout bulldog for two. The tiger driver is broken up and Nidia trips Jamie by mistake, setting up the 619. Rey Drops the Dime to retain in short order.

Rating: D. Well don’t bother wasting time I guess. This was barely three minutes long and they didn’t have time to do anything. Nidia’s interference was the most important part of the match and that took all of two seconds. These two are talented but they need more time than a run of the mill women’s match from this era to get anywhere.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. They were a successful team but Eddie got way more popular, sending Chavo into a jealous rage when the team stopped doing as well. Chavo went nuts, blaming Eddie for all of their problems and bringing in his father to turn it into more of a family affair, even as Kurt Angle tried to play peacekeeper. This is one of the few stories that is going to work every single time and both of them have sold it exceptionally well, turning it into the best thing going on in WWE at the moment.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo has his father with him. They fight over a hard lockup to start until Chavo slaps the taste out of Eddie’s mouth. A fired up Eddie shoves him into the corner but can’t bring himself to follow up because his heart is broken. He’s willing to take Chavo down into a chinlock but Chavo is right back up for a chop in the corner. Eddie chops him back and gives the first smile of the match. Some shoulders put Eddie down and Chavo is very pleased with his early success.

That just earns him a poke to the eye as the stalling continues. Eddie takes him down again but Chavo pops up in short order and hooks a hurricanrana to put them both on the floor. With Chavo back inside, his dad sends Eddie face first into the steps (Tazz: “I guess he doesn’t like his little brother.”) to give Chavo the first real advantage. Back in and Eddie grabs a cross armbreaker but can’t get it all the way on. Chavo scores with a belly to back suplex but the tornado DDT is broken up. Eddie rolls the suplexes and drops the frog splash for the win.

Rating: C. It was good while it lasted but it should have lasted about twice as long. This was a big time story on Smackdown and it ended in a match that was about half as long as the Smackdown main event. I’m assuming they’re setting Eddie up for something bigger down the line and they needed to get this out of the way, but this deserved more time.

Post match Eddie gets fired up for the first time and beats up both Chavos. Sr. gets tied to the bottom rope by the tie while Jr. gets stomped in the corner, busting him open in the process. They did a good job here with Eddie wanting to hold in his emotions during the match but being pushed too far after and finally erupting.

Chris Benoit is ready to go in at #1 when Evolution comes in with their champagne to celebrate. Flair says Benoit is the best technical wrestler alive and all man but the brass ring always slips out of his hand. It’s all about Evolution holding all of the gold so Benoit is always going to be second best.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match with Brock Lesnar defending against Hardcore Holly. Lesnar broke Holly’s neck back in 2002 and since we must go with real life instead of something, you know, interesting, we’ve been stuck watching Lesnar run from Holly for the last month. This is possibly the most ice cold title match in history as Holly is little more than a former comedy guy with a bad attitude who is ranting about wanting to break Lesnar’s neck. Lesnar can beat up Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit, but Hardcore Holly suddenly scares him? That’s what we’re going with here?

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Lesnar is defending and Holly jumps him before the bell. The champ gets posted twice in a row and the bell rings with Holly on the apron, only to miss a top rope clothesline. Lesnar scores with a suplex as the referee is getting in the way more than usual here. A ram into the apron gives Lesnar two and it’s off to a waistlock on the mat. What would eventually be called a Shell Shock gives Lesnar two as this is a complete squash so far.

It’s back to the waistlock as you can hear the limited interest the fans had seeping out of the arena. A bearhug sets up a suplex and it’s right back to a head and arm choke. Holly fights up with some kicks to the ribs and clotheslines, followed by the Alabama Slam….for no cover as it’s off to that stupid full nelson. The hold stays on even as they fall to the floor so Holly tries it again with Lesnar on the apron. That earns him a neck snap across the top and the F5 retains the title.

Rating: F. Oh give me a break. Lesnar was never in danger here and in the six and a half minutes they had, at least half of it was Lesnar keeping him on the mat in a hold. Holly’s finisher, while fine for beating a midcarder here and there, is nowhere near enough to be a real threat to Lesnar. Thank goodness they didn’t tease a bunch of near falls and just got out of there, because this was a bad idea from the beginning.

We’re not even 52 minutes into the show and we’ve covered four matches, including three title matches. That’s a ridiculous pace, even for a Royal Rumble.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. HHH, which they’re billing as seven years in the making. So we’re counting all of the four and a half years Shawn was on the shelf and the months long feud they had in 2002? They’ve traded wins and the title until Shawn got a pin on the last show of 2003, albeit with his own shoulders on the mat. Therefore it’s a Last Man Standing match tonight, which somehow ties into everything else they’ve ever done, including the most recent match, which is barely discussed.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH is defending and it’s Last Man Standing. They fight over a lockup to start until Shawn gets the better of a chop off. It’s time for a mat sequence with Shawn loading up a backslide, only to let it go when he realizes what kind of match they’re having. One heck of a whip into the corner starts n on Shawn’s back, which is still a target six years after it was originally hurt.

Shawn is right back up with a Figure Four but HHH turns it over for the break. That’s enough of the wrestling so it’s time to head outside with HHH loading up the announcers’ table. A suplex through the table is broken up and Shawn ax handles him in the head. Back in and a backdrop puts HHH on the floor again but Shawn’s springboard spinning crossbody only hits table in a big crash.

Shawn is busted open (of course he is) and we get a replay, showing that Shawn would have cleared HHH by two feet even if HHH had stood in place. Back in again and the very bloody Shawn won’t stay down, instead telling HHH to bring it on. Right hands get a seven and a spinebuster gives HHH eight more. It’s chair time and a hard shot to the back gets nine this time. The Pedigree on the chair is countered into a slingshot into the corner, followed by Shawn’s own chair shot to the face.

Back up and the forearm into the nip up have the bloody HHH in trouble. The top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music but HHH cuts him off with a low blow. Back up and Shawn grabs a sleeper, which lasts as long as a sleeper is going to in a match like this. HHH’s DDT gets eight so he loads up a belly to back superplex, which is countered into a spinning crossbody for a double knockdown. The Pedigree gets nine and Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music, good for a double knockout and a draw.

Rating: C-. Well of course we need to see these two fight again. You wouldn’t expect HHH and Shawn Michaels to wrap up their feud in just two matches right? This wasn’t very good with just an exchange of moves and nothing that went anywhere, though the blade jobs were both quite nasty looking. I’m sure we’ll see these two again, but these two will likely be fighting in their retirement home.

The fans are NOT pleased with the draw and I can’t say I blame them. HHH is taken out on a stretcher but Shawn insists on walking.

Video on the Royal Rumble, which really just shows the names involved. Chris Benoit is in at #1 and Goldberg is in at #30.

The Fink is ready to start the introductions but here’s Eric Bischoff to promise that Raw will win the match. He runs down Paul Heyman’s abilities to run shows in Bingo halls, in a line that has to have been repeated a thousand times now. Ignore that WCW officially went out of business before ECW (on an extreme technicality but it was still officially in business after WCW was purchased). Heyman tackles Bischoff but here’s Steve Austin on the ATV to say they’re both in violation of the law. Stunners abound and beer is consumed. I’m so glad they spent five minutes on this when four matches got less than twenty two minutes combined.

Goldberg is asked about being #30 in the Royal Rumble when Brock comes in to wonder where his interview is. Brock asks where Goldberg’s title is but Goldberg says it’s coming back at Wrestlemania. Goldberg suggests Brock is a coward.

Foley still isn’t here.

Royal Rumble

JR and Tazz are on commentary, thankfully giving us a standard booth instead of the usual mess that these things have become. Tazz even has keys to victory: hide, stamina, get a high number. I’ve heard worse analysis so I’ll take what I can get. Chris Benoit is in at #1 and Randy Orton is in at #2 and we have ninety second intervals. Benoit gets aggressive to start (ignoring key to victory #2) and scores with a suplex but gets uppercutted into the corner.

Mark Henry is in at #3 and shoves Benoit down so he can choke Orton in the corner. The clock seems to get a little faster as Tajiri is in at #4 and gets suplexed down for his efforts. Henry throws Orton ribs first onto the top rope and everyone pounds away as Bradshaw is in at #5. Clotheslines abound until Benoit pulls him into the Crossface and gets him out in less than a minute. Well at least they’re keeping the ring at a manageable number. Rhyno is in at #6 and goes after Orton and Benoit as Tajiri kicks away at Henry.

Tajiri can’t get the Tarantula so Rhyno Gores Henry, eliminating Tajiri in the process. Benoit dumps Henry and we’re already down to three. They fight by the ropes and it’s Matt Hardy in at #7. There’s a Side Effect to Rhyno but Benoit knocks Matt to the apron. Matt gets back in and everyone pummels everyone until Scott Steiner is in at #8. Benoit rolls some German suplexes on Steiner as JR gives us the good stat of there being no former Rumble winners in this match.

Matt Morgan is in at #9 as the ring is starting to fill up. A helicopter bomb plants Benoit and there’s a big boot to Hardy. It’s back to the exchange of forearms around the ring with no one going for an elimination until Hurricane is in at #10. Before I can recap who is in the match, Morgan tosses Hurricane in short order, leaving us with Benoit, Orton, Rhyno, Hardy, Steiner and Morgan. Morgan throws Hardy to the apron but not out as Steiner lays on Orton in the middle of the ring.

Booker T. is in at #11 to a nice reaction but also to a really annoying song. An ax kick has Orton in trouble and Steiner is thrown out off camera (in his last match with the company) as Kane is in at #12. Benoit and Morgan both get chokeslams and the Gore and RKO are both blocked. Kane starts beating on Matt in the corner…..and a gong strikes at #13. As expected, Kane freaks out and the distraction lets Booker throw him out. It’s actually Spike Dudley in at #13 so Kane beats him up in the aisle, both for the gong and for Spike upsetting Kane on Monday. Things settle down and it’s Rikishi in at #14.

Benoit dumps Rhyno and Orton gets a Stinkface as the fans aren’t exactly interested, probably due to the gong taking some of their interest away. They’re certainly not burning up the pace for eliminations here but that’s not the worst thing in the world. Rene Dupree is in at #15 to get us to the halfway point. He dropkicks Hardy out but turns into a superkick from Rikishi to get eliminated as well.

A-Tran is in at #16 and goes after Rikishi as Benoit ducks Morgan’s charge to get rid of him. Orton dumps out Rikishi and Booker in the span of a few seconds, leaving us with Benoit, Orton and A-Train. Benoit eliminates A-Train as Shelton Benjamin is in at #17. Benjamin slugs away as JR completely missed A-Train’s elimination. How do you not notice the 6’8 350lb bald guy being gone? Orton dumps Shelton and we’re down to two again. To be fair, other than Kane and maybe Booker, none of the other entrants are worth anything so far. Lamont runs out to introduce Ernest Miller at #18 and Tazz loves the song.

Benoit tosses Lamont and Orton does the same to Miller so these two can keep slugging it out. Kurt Angle is in at #19 and now things can pick up a bit. Benoit and Angle go at it (of course) while Orton is smart enough to just chill in the corner. Angle has Benoit in trouble on the ropes but Orton makes a rather questionable save. Rico is in at #20 and goes after Orton, who dropkicks him almost immediately. A kick to the head rocks Orton though, leaving Benoit to roll some German suplexes on Angle. Orton dumps Rico with ease and it’s Test…..not in at #21.

We cut to the back where Test is unconscious. Austin sees who did it and makes that person #21 instead. In the arena, MICK FOLEY is #21 and Orton knows he’s about to die. Foley slugs him down in the corner, throws up a BANG BANG and hits the running knee in the corner. The Cactus Clothesline gives us a double elimination and it’s down to Benoit vs. Angle. Foley isn’t done with Orton and sends him into the steps as Christian is in at #22.

Orton gets in a few wicked chair shots to Foley and punches him down before slamming Foley’s head into the ramp. Some right hands get Foley out of trouble and it’s Mr. Socko but Foley has to give it to Nunzio, who comes in at #23. The distraction lets Orton get in a low blow and run off after a great angle that makes me want to see these two have a heck of a fight. Back in the ring, Christian can’t get rid of Angle or Benoit so Angle suplexes Benoit instead. Benoit is the only one standing as Big Show is in at #24.

Show starts fast with the overhand chops and throws some Canadians around until Chris Jericho is in at #25 to a very nice reaction. Jericho and Christian stomp on Angle in the corner until Show makes a save with a double noggin knocker. How old school of him. Everyone goes after Show so he shrugs them off and Charlie Haas is in at #26. Christian tries to turn on Jericho but gets dumped out instead, which just fits for Christian for some reason. Billy Gunn returns at #27 and hits some Fameassers but can’t get rid of anyone.

John Cena is in at #28 to a very nice reaction and you can feel the star power growing every night. Cena catches Nunzio sitting on the floor and throws him inside as the ring is starting to get too full. For some reason Nunzio goes after Show, earning himself that hard shot to the back. Rob Van Dam is in at #29 and can’t get rid of Show either. Cena gives Angle an FU and here’s Goldberg in at #30 to complete the field. I’m not going to bother saying who all is in there because we’re about to lose a bunch of them.

Goldberg wrecks everyone and tosses Haas, Gunn and Nunzio (after an insane spear). That leaves us with Benoit, Angle, Show, Jericho, Cena, Van Dam and Goldberg for a heck of a final group. Goldberg loads up the Jackhammer on Show but here’s Lesnar to jump him from behind, allowing Angle to dump Goldberg, who is busy seething at Lesnar. Show shrugs off the masses again but Angle chop blocks him, which isn’t the brightest idea. That means a Lionsault, a Five Star, a Shuffle and a Swan Dive but Show is unconscious on the mat. Real smart guys.

Show fights up and dumps Cena, who lands VERY awkwardly on his knee. Van Dam is gone too and we’re down to Jericho, Big Show, Angle and Benoit. Jericho goes after Show’s knee and bulldogs Show now, which has done so well against him already. The Walls make Show tap but Jericho lets him go. That’s not the brightest move in the world and Show makes him pay with a chokeslam over the top for an elimination. A regular chokeslam drops Benoit so Angle gets the Angle Slam on Show.

Benoit gets one as well and now it’s the ankle lock to make Show tap again. Show gets up and muscles Angle out as well, leaving us with two. With Show hanging over the top rope, Benoit hits the Swan Dive to the back of his head, accidentally bringing Show back in. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface to make Show tap for the third time.

A side slam gets Show out of trouble as we hear about Benoit getting close to Ric Flair’s longevity record. Show loads up a gorilla press but Benoit pulls him down into a guillotine, even as Show puts him on the apron. Benoit pulls him down and slides back inside as Show goes out, giving Benoit the big win.

Rating: A. It’s one of the best Rumbles ever, mainly due to Benoit. There was some great storytelling near the end, with Jericho and Angle both making Show tap but then making some kind of a mistake to get eliminated while Benoit was smart/determined enough to make it work in the end. The same thing happens when the big groups try to get Show out and Benoit does it on his own, showing how technique and determination are better than brute strength. It kept you wondering if Benoit could finally win the big one and that’s what they managed to pull off in a great story throughout the whole match.

Other than that, they did a great job of not letting the ring get too full save for near the end, which Goldberg took care of in short order. Pacing is often such a problem in these things and it’s very nice to see them get it right. They had a big angle with Foley and Orton too, giving it something besides the winner to go off of from here. Finally, there were multiple possible winners, which always makes for a better match than having one or two people be the only ones who could win. Great Rumble, and one of the best of all time.

JR loses it praising Benoit, who smiles (a rare thing for him) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The Rumble is always a unique show as it’s the only one where one match can really save the whole thing, as the main event is often at least a third of the show. The problem is the rest of the show was so bad due to the matches either being rushed or being HHH vs. Shawn in their annual attempt at an epic match that it’s hard to call this good overall. Really though, the Rumble itself is more than enough to carry it, but on any other card of the year this would have been a disaster.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/23/royal-rumble-count-up-2004-he-who-must-not-be-named/

And the 2013 redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2004-they-couldnt-wait-any-longer/

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6