IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 28, 2019
Hosts: Josh Matthews, Scott D’Amore

It’s the Best Of 2019 and that means we could be in for an interesting night. There have been some good things going on this year and hopefully we can see where things are going to be heading in the future. Impact has had a solid year and now they can showcase it a little bit. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Josh and Scott welcome us to the show, which is week #1 of 2.

From Homecoming:

Eddie Edwards vs. Moose

Falls Count Anywhere. Eddie jumps him during the entrances, as he should because he’s not the kind of guy who would wait for a bell here. Moose catches the suicide dive though and Eddie gets TOSSED into the steps. Back to back powerbombs on the floor and apron give Moose two and it’s time to load up the steps, plus a piece of barricade between the ring and the regular barricade.

Another powerbomb is countered and Eddie takes it back to the floor, this time heading into the crowd. The fans want them to come OVER HERE, though I’d settle for a camera staying on them. What looked like a beer can to Moose’s head makes him walk even more but Moose whips him into some steps to the upper deck. Eddie of course hits a dive off the balcony but would rather chop Moose than cover him.

Back to ringside with Eddie getting knocked off the apron, sending him face first into the barricade. A bunch of chairs are thrown in and Moose posts Eddie to keep him down. Eddie is busted open (as he should be) and Moose bites at the cut (as he shouldn’t be). For some reason Moose goes up, allowing Eddie to pelt a chair at his head. The chairs are piled up and a top rope superplex drops both guys onto them for the huge crash.

Rating: B-. This was pretty close to the violent fight that it should have been and hopefully it wraps up the feud once and for all. There’s no reason to keep things going and Eddie winning is a pretty definitive finish. Alisha accepting Eddie’s violence and helping with the beatdown was a nice touch, especially since there was no Raven to get involved here.

Happy Holidays from Impact Wrestling.

Some wrestlers talk about their favorite Christmas memory.

From Bound For Glory.

X-Division Title: Daga vs. Jake Crist vs. Tessa Blanchard vs. Acey Romero vs. Ace Austin

Crist is defending in a ladder match and the debuting Acey weighs about 400lbs. Jake gets stared at to start until Ace and Daga superkick Romero into the corner. Tessa unloads on Crist and hits the suicide dive to the floor to take him out. She does it two more times, only to have Ace dive onto both of them. Romero dropkicks Daga, who corkscrew dives over Romero to take everyone down on the floor.

Tessa is back in with a springboard dropkick to knock Austin outside but Romero Samoan drops her off the ladder. Daga teeter totters the ladder into Romero’s face and then bridges it between the ring and the barricade. Let’s throw in a table for a bonus (and a spot on a Bingo card) but before it gets used, Romero hits a Tower of Doom onto almost everyone else.

A powerbomb sends Austin hard into the ladder and Romero teases to climb, but pulls out another one to climb two at once. Crist breaks that up with a super cutter, leaving us with Tessa and Daga for the double climb. Austin shoves both of them down but gets Death Valley Driven by Daga. That’s not it as Daga hits a running Canadian Destroyer to Crist on the bridged ladder.

Romero goes up but Tessa shoves the ladder over to DESTROY the table, with the ladder crashing over the top as well. Tessa is all alone but here’s the rest of OVE to make the save but Tessa hurricanrana Madman Fulton into the ladder. Jake is knocked through another table but Austin hits Tessa with his baton and steals the title at 17:24.

Rating: B. This was a lot of fun as they didn’t waste time setting up spots and flew from one thing to another. The selling wasn’t around but when you just ignore it for most of the match, it kind of starts to work in a weird way. That being said, they have to give Tessa the win at some point because you can only tease it so many times before the fans stop caring. They cared here, but I’m not sure how much longer that can happen. Romero did well here, though you can hear Fallah Bahh crying from here.

Wrestlers discuss Christmas traditions.

We’re also doing some awards this week, with Taya Valkyrie being named Knockout of the Year. Who else was it going to be? Other than maybe Tessa? Anyway, Taya and her dog are rather pleased.

Wrestlers talk about Christmas carols.

From Homecoming.

Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. Lucha Bros

LAX is defending and there’s no Konnan in sight. Fenix and Santana start things off in a feeling out process. A very fast armdrag sends Santana into the ropes for a kick to the back from Pentagon and it’s a double superkick on Santana with Fenix hitting a crazy hard suicide dive on Ortiz. Santana gets back up and sends Fenix outside for a kick to Pentagon’s head, followed by the backsplash from Ortiz.

Pentagon goes outside as well and Santana hits a top rope Asai moonsault to take him right back down. Back in and a Lionsault/legdrop combination gets two on Pentagon as they’ve certainly started fast. Fenix saves his brother from a double suplex and the champs are sat outside on the ramp. Pentagon throws a charging Fenix onto both of them before hitting his own no hands flip dive onto the pile.

Back in and a Codebreaker/top rope double stomp combination gets two on Ortiz. Santana comes back in and hits a reverse powerbomb into a top rope splash but Pentagon runs in for the crazy save with a step up Canadian Destroyer (GEEZ) to put everyone down. Ortiz and Pentagon slap it out and it’s a series of running kicks to put all four down again.

The Bros get back up first with the spike Fear Factor to Santana, though Ortiz is a bit late with the save and Santana has to kick out on his own. The Street Sweeper hits Pentagon with Fenix diving in with a dropkick for the save. A rolling cutter into a Codebreaker into a superkick finishes Fenix out of nowhere to retain the titles at 10:48.

Rating: B+. It’s the most entertaining thing on the card so far but this didn’t hit the heights they should have reached. It needed another five to ten minutes as I was expecting this to be nearly twice as long. What we got was good, but it wasn’t built up, making the match feel like it was designed to be a classic instead of just being a classic. Very good, but it could have been a lot more.

Wrestlers talk about their favorite gifts.

Willie Mack is named Star to Watch in 2020.

From Cali Combat on August 23.

Willie Mack vs. Trey Miguel

They circle each other to start and we get a handshake, resulting in Mack being pulled into a headlock. Willie reverses into a Samoan drop into a standing moonsault as the audio and video are a little out of sync. Trey blocks a running chop in the corner and hits a springboard hurricanrana to send Willie into the other corner.

Mack is right back up with a reverse Cannonball in the corner. The Stunner is blocked so Trey grabs a jumping neckbreaker for two instead. They slug it out from their knees with Mack getting the better of it, only to get caught in the corner for a Cheeky Nandos kick. Trey goes up top but dives into a Stunner for the pin at 5:24.

Rating: C+. This was just a way to showcase Mack as he (mostly) hit the cool finisher for the pin. I’m not sure how far he can go, but the talent and charisma are going to be enough to drive him pretty far up the ladder. Trey held up his end here too and it was a rather nice little match.

Wrestlers on what they want for Christmas.

From Bound For Glory.

Michael Elgin vs. Naomichi Marufuji

Or Marufugi according to the name graphic. Come on with that stuff people. Neither can hit a chop to start so Marufuji misses some chops and kicks to get us to an early standoff. Elgin misses a charge in the corner and gets chopped a bit but he catches a charging Marufuji in a suplex. A missile dropkick sends Marufuji flying for two and the fans aren’t pleased with Elgin being in control. They chop it out with Marufuji knocking him to the floor and hits the big flip dive.

Back in and a running stomp to the head gives Marufuji two but he has to flip out of a German suplex attempt. Elgin sends him into the ropes and snaps off the German suplex this time, setting up a Falcon Arrow for two. They trade kicks to the head and it’s a double knockdown with Marufuji in the better shape of the two. A sunset bomb to the floor is blocked so Marufuji superkicks Elgin in the back of the head instead.

Sliced Bread on the floor gets a nine so it’s a top rope stomp to the back of the head for two (counting in wrestling is weird). There’s a dragon suplex to drop Marufuji and a discus lariat takes his head off. Splash Mountain gets two and the shock is strong. Another Sliced Bread drops Elgin again but Marufuji can’t get him up for a tiger bomb.

Instead it’s time to slug it out again with Marufuji picking up the intensity of the strikes to take over. That’s fine with Elgin, who blocks a kick and powerbombs him down for two. The buckle bomb into the Elgin Bomb gets two and Elgin is STUNNED in a great visual. The Burning Hammer finally puts Marufuji away at 18:04.

Rating: B. Yeah that’s what you should have been expecting here as they beat the fire out of each other for the better part of twenty minutes. Elgin is just such a powerhouse and I’ve liked Marufuji from the times I’ve seen him before. It isn’t the style of wrestling I like most of the time but for a one off, this was very entertaining.

The Moment of the Year is Sami Callihan winning the World Title on the AXS TV.

From Impact, October 29.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Sami Callihan vs. Brian Cage

Cage is defending in a cage….match. Callihan (with Melissa written on his vest) kicks the cage door into his head to start but Cage is right back with a powerbomb into the cage wall. Sami finally escapes and gets inside where he locks the cage, thinking that Brian can’t climb the wall. That stupid plan falls apart in about three seconds so Callihan gets in a baseball bat shot to take over.

Cage is busted open and Callihan bites at the forehead, followed by some bat shots to the ribs. Another running bat shot just wakes Brian up and a missed charge sends Sami into the steel. Back from a break with both of them down again until they start exchanging some strikes to the face. A spit slap annoys Cage even more but Callihan drops him with a clothesline for two anyway.

The Cactus Special gets one though as Cage is livid again. A powerbomb into a buckle bomb looks to set up the Drill Claw but Sami reverses into a small package for two. Sami hits a series of hard knees and kicks to the head, setting up rolling piledrivers….for two more. Yeah we’ve reached the ridiculous point, especially if Sami wins here. Cage is back up with a discus lariat for two of his own but Callihan crotches him on top. The super Cactus Special gives Callihan the pin and the title at 14:06.

Rating: B-. They went one near fall too many here and it took me out of the match a bit, but they did a good job of making Callihan look like the monster to finally stop Cage. He seems to be Cage’s Kryptonite and that is a good role for Callihan to play. You had to give him a World Title reign at some point and they pulled the trigger at the right time. It was a good enough match too and they have had a good story to get here.

Overall Rating: B+. This is the kind of show that works like a charm most of the time and Impact had the matches this year to make it work. They’ll be doing something similar next week and it was nice to have this kind of talent getting the attention it deserves. I liked this one quite a bit and it was entertaining throughout, which is the point of a show like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

205 Live
Date: December 27, 2019
Hosts: Aiden English, Tom Phillips

It’s another Best Of 2019 show this week and really, that’s the best thing that can happen to this show. Well outside of just giving up on it and moving the whole thing over to NXT, but since that doesn’t seem to be an option, I’ll take anything I can get out of it at this point. There is a lot of good stuff to pull from in the year so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

The hosts welcome us to the show and throw us into the first match, which is #4 on the countdown.

4. July 16.

Jack Gallagher vs. Chad Gable

Rematch from over a month ago where Gable won via countout (and maybe by accident). After a handshake, Gable takes him to the mat to start but Gallagher is right back up with a wristlock. An early chinlock doesn’t do much for Gable as Gallagher gets up again and spins back into the second wristlock early on. More spins keep Gable confused and some nitwitted fans call this boring.

We get the headlock takeover into the headscissors sequence a few times until Gallagher snaps off a good armdrag to make Gable’s eyebrows go up. Gallagher is right back on the arm but Gable jumps for an armdrag of his own into an armbar to put Gallagher down for a change. Another armbar from Gallagher is reversed with a British Bulldog deadlift and Gallagher bounces hard off the mat. One heck of a belly to belly gives Gable two more and it’s time to start in on Gallagher’s knee.

A hard dragon screw legwhip sets up a standing leglock and Gallagher is in trouble. His leg is fine enough for a dropkick and a rather British sneer. The delayed vertical suplex gets two on Gable and Gallagher busts out a Kimura of all things. Gable gets out so Gallagher sends him outside for a whip into the barricade. The suicide dive doesn’t work on Gable for some reason as Gallagher bounces off of him and gets suplexed on the floor, just like last time.

Gable doesn’t want it that way and throws Gallagher back inside, where it’s a small package to give Gallagher two. Gallagher is right back in trouble with an ankle lock into a grapevine (BUT THEY MADE JASON JORDAN KURT ANGLE’S SON BECAUSE IT WAS FUNNY!) but he manages a rope. The rolling Liger kick stuns Gallagher, who bounces back with a headbutt for two and they’re both down.

They slug it out with Gallagher getting the better of it (ignore the camera catching the tarped off side of the arena) but charging into a sitout Dominator for two more. Gable’s moonsault hits raised feet and Gallagher’s running corner dropkick gets two as Gable gets a foot on the rope. Gable goes up but Gallagher, with a big bruise on his upper thigh, tries a belly to back superplex. That’s reversed into a crossbody to crush Gallagher and it’s Rolling Chaos Theory to finish Gallagher at 16:10.

Rating: B+. Good grief HOW DID THEY NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WHAT GABLE??? The guy is in great shape, has more charisma than he knows what to do with and is an Olympic wrestler. Oh but WWE could make a joke about Angle’s taste in women so they went with that instead of something that makes sense. This was an outstanding match as they beat each other up with counter after counter and had the fans digging everything going on. This was a great match and Gable needs to be on the main roster right now (and getting pushed for a change). Gallagher was his usual awesome self too and the result was awesome.

Post match Gable lets Gallagher have the ring for a bow to end the show.

3. July 30

Drake Maverick vs. Mike Kanellis

Unsanctioned. Drake comes out to the 205 Live theme instead of his own song. Mike jumps him from behind during the entrances and Drake gets sent into the set. More whips send Drake into the barricade and Mike puts a sign in his face for a bonus. Since the bell hasn’t rung yet, Mike thinks that’s enough for a forfeit. Drake gets in and says ring the bell so Mike kicks him into the corner.

Mike shouts about following Drake’s rules for too long before sending him outside again. Another whip into the barricade takes Maverick down again and Mike does it a few more times for good measure. Drake gets sent face first onto the announcers’ table as Mike shouts about 205 being his brand. For a bonus, Drake gets put into a chair and superkicked out of it so Mike can be alone in the ring. A single right hand drops Maverick back inside and a huge clothesline….gets no cover as Kanellis takes Maverick’s belt off.

The whipping is on, followed by a sleeper to bring Maverick back to life (that hold has the worst success rate) and he sends a charging Kanellis to the floor. Another charge lets Kanellis catch Maverick though and it’s a swing into the barricade. Mike still won’t finish it though as he would rather go over and grab the Maria wanted posters off the announcers’ table. One of those goes into Maverick’s mouth but that fires Maverick up again. Maverick slugs and stomps away, setting up a running basement dropkick in the corner.

Now it’s Maverick whipping him with the belt and the suicide dive connects. A DDT onto the announcers’ table drops Kanellis again but the elbow drop from the barricade only hits table. Back in and Mike loads up his swinging neckbreaker but puts Drake on top instead. The super Razor’s Edge is countered into a super hurricanrana, setting up a Dudley Dog for the pin at 12:49.

Rating: C+. I wasn’t sure what to think of this one but the more I think about it, the more I like it. They weren’t hiding what was going to happen in the end but it was entertaining on the way there. Maverick shouldn’t be wrestling all the time because he’s small even by 205 Live standards, but using him sparingly is fine as he has a ton of charisma and can go well in the ring. It told a nice story, as Kanellis’ career continues to die more and more.

2. November 1

Lio Rush vs. Raul Mendoza

Non-title. Rush headlocks him down to start and the cockiness is on full display. A kick to the head misses and Tom refers to Raul as Luis Mendoza in a Mighty Ducks reference. What is with commentary being so off on Friday? English was a disaster on Smackdown and now this. Are they that worried about the Saudi situation?

Rush snaps off a hurricanrana to the floor and follows with a suicide dive to shot off. Back in and Rush shouts at the crowd and the silence is nearly deafening. It’s too early for the Final Hour though and Mendoza hits an enziguri to catch him on top. A suplex into a swinging neckbreaker gets two and a running dropkick is good for the same. We hit the chinlock as the fans start cheering for English.

Back up and Raul hits a hard clothesline for two more but Rush grabs a jawbreaker. That just earns him a running boot to the face to give Raul another two but Rush is smart enough to roll to the apron as Raul goes up top. They slug it out on the apron with the fans finally getting into something.

Rush knocks him to the floor though and hits the bottom rope moonsault, only to bang up the ribs even more. Back in and Rush hits some forearms, followed by a series of strikes for a near fall. Raul gets in a dropkick for two but Rush rolls into a half crab of all things. The rope is grabbed but Raul’s knee is done, allowing Rush to hit the springboard Stunner and the Final Hour for the pin at 14:36.

Rating: C+. Another technically fine match in front of a crowd that absolutely does not care. Rush is someone who can do a lot of things in the ring but his calling really seems to be as a loudmouthed guy hype man. It’s a lot more memorable than someone else with suicide dives and frog splashes. 205 Live is full of them and while Rush is impressive, it isn’t like he’s one of a kind.

1. December 11 (NXT)

Cruiserweight Title: Angel Garza vs. Lio Rush

Rush is defending and we get the Big Match Intros, as we certainly should for something like this. Rush jumps him before the bell though and it’s a brawl to start until Garza spears the champ through the ropes. A tackle into the steps has Garza down but he drops Rush face first onto the apron to take over. Garza can’t TAKE OFF HIS PANTS though as Rush tackles him down and starts the rapid movements. He gets caught in the corner though and a superkick gives Garza two more.

Garza sends him outside though and we take a break. Back with Rush getting in a shot to the face to put Garza on the floor as well. That means a moonsault to the floor as the pace slows a bit. A slingshot reverse suplex is reversed into a crossbody for two on Garza but he catches Rush with an enziguri on top. That means the super Spanish Fly for a very close two, followed by an exchange of superkicks for the double knockdown.

It’s Rush up first with a Wing Clipper of his own for a near fall of his own but Garza puts him in an electric chair. For some reason Garza drops him onto the ropes so Rush bounces right back with the Stunner. The Final Hour connects but Garza crawls to the floor…..AND RUSH TAKES OFF GARZA’S PANTS! Another Final Hour to the floor only hits knees though and the Wing Clipper gives Garza….two. In a smart move, Garza grabs the underhook again and pulls back for the tap and the title at 15:17.

Rating: B. This was an intense, back and forth match with Rush trying as hard as he could but ultimately being beaten by the better man. That being said though, it isn’t exactly an interesting feud and while Garza has been impressive, he just feels like the next guy to hold the title. It’s way better than whatever they would do on 205 Live, but the title still doesn’t serve much of a purpose other than filling in time on these now double length shows.

The hosts wrap things up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: July 28, 2005
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

With the Great American Bash out of the way, the only thing left to do is head towards Summerslam. Raw is already out in front though, meaning Smackdown will need to start adding in some matches sooner rather than later. They still have a lot of time to do so and a lot of that can start here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Theodore Long in the ring to thank us for watching the Great American Bash. I didn’t know Long was into torture. He recaps some of the bigger events from the show, including the Undertaker becoming the new #1 contender. Therefore, at Summerslam, it will be….something that is cut off by JBL. He isn’t happy because Long is forgetting the main event of the Great American Bash where he defeated Batista.

JBL did everything he promised to do but Batista getting himself disqualified prevented him from becoming World Champion. Therefore, Long needs to name him #1 contender again. Long agrees, but the title match isn’t coming at Summerslam. Hang on though as there was a clause in the contract saying that if JBL won, which he did, he would get the first shot at Batista. Long doesn’t like the threats of lawsuits so tonight it’s JBL vs. Undertaker for the Summerslam title shot. Better than a triple threat at least.

Christian/Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T./Chris Benoit

Combination of two Bash matches and Jordan’s shoulder is taped up. It’s a brawl to start with the villains being knocked out to the floor in short order. Booker throws Jordan back inside and Christian has to break up a Crossface attempt. We settle down to Benoit chopping the other Canadian and then grabbing a headlock takeover.

Back up and more chops have Christian rocked so Jordan grabs the boot to bring Benoit down. Jordan comes in for an elbow to the face and a Christian distraction lets Jordan go to work on the turnbuckle pad. The Anaconda Vice has Benoit in more trouble and Christian’s neckbreaker gets two. A chinlock keeps Benoit in trouble until he suplexes his way to freedom and brings in Booker.

The Book End gets two on Christian with Jordan making the save, earning himself a knock to the floor. Back from a break with Booker getting two on Christian and hitting some chops. After ignoring a Benoit tag request, Booker hits the spinebuster and Spinaroonis up. Jordan comes back in for a rake to the eyes so Christian can get two off a reverse DDT.

We hit another chinlock but Christian dives into a kick to the face for the double knockdown. That’s enough for the hot tag to Benoit to snap off the suplexes, including sending Jordan onto Christian. A bunch of German suplexes put the villains down again and it’s the Swan Dive to Jordan’s bad shoulder for two. The Crossface makes Jordan tap.

Rating: C+. The ending is what mattered here as it gives us a reason to set up Benoit vs. Jordan in a rematch where Benoit should certainly win the title. Other than that we have Christian vs. Booker continuing, though I’m not sure how much more of that needs to take place. The match was a rather nice formula tag and didn’t feel as long as it was, which is always a plus.

Heidenreich isn’t sure if he can be the next Hawk but Animal says be yourself. He then gives him a haircut to look more like Hawk.

Video on Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio from Sunday.

Heidenreich/Animal vs. Chris Hamrick/Chuck Sealy

Non-title, Heidenreich has Hawk’s haircut and it’s Doomsday Device for the pin in about thirty seconds.

MNM want their titles back but Melina say they need to worry about putting a positive spin on things. They have a new publicist and are going to be on the cover of next month’s Smackdown Magazine. For now though, they need to have a fixer, who fixes things. They’ll meet her later tonight. That would be the debuting Jillian Hall, who announces Melina vs. Torrie II with Jillian there to counter Candice Michelle. Oh and Jillian has huge and disgusting growth on her face. After the women leave, Mercury: “Would you?”

Rey Mysterio is in the back with Dominick, who asks what the big secret was. Rey will tell him when he’s older.

The Boogeyman is still coming.

Here are Mysterio and Dominick for a chat. Rey thanks us for the support but here’s Eddie, carrying a book. Rey says this is over and tells Eddie to stay away from his son. Eddie: “Don’t worry Rey. I’m not going to get anywhere near your son.” Eddie insists that he never loses because he’s the law. Yes he agreed to be quiet if he lost at the Great American Bash….but he lied. Now he feels like telling a bedtime story so Rey goes after him, so Eddie is smart enough to drop the bombshell in a hurry: he’s Dominick’s real father. Eddie: “I’m your papi.”

Dominick asks Rey if it’s true and Rey has to admit that it is, sending Dominick running through the crowd. Rey goes after him so Eddie gets in the ring to say the people here don’t smell so good. Now he sits down in a chair and asks for the lights to be dimmed because it’s time for Eddie’s Bedtime Stories. There was a time when Eddie and his wife were separated and Eddie had an affair. Then the woman came to Eddie to tell him that she was pregnant (with her eighth child).

At the same time though, Rey and his wife couldn’t have a child so Eddie had an idea. Instead of being the father, he became Uncle Eddie, even though there were never any official adoption papers. Eddie says that’s a big weight off his shoulders, but just wait until next week’s chapter two. This story just took a hard turn and it is now a lot more uncomfortable than intriguing. Maybe it’s having Dominick there in person or that the feud has been going too long, but this new part isn’t working.

Cole and Tazz do their serious voices, but the show must go on so here’s what’s next.

Melina vs. Torrie Wilson

Jillian (with growth) and Candice at ringside. As Tazz talks about the growth on Jillian’s face (Cole: “ENOUGH WITH THE PUS!”), Melina chokes in the corner and on the mat to start. Torrie gets two off a rollup but Melina hammers away with forearms. We hit the neck crank and get a closeup on the growth because YOU MIGHT NOT GET THE JOKE OTHERWISE. Torrie fights out but gets ax handled in the back. Melina goes to the middle rope for the dive into the boot spot but Torrie can’t get her leg up in time, meaning it hits slightly raised knees instead. Not that it matters as Melina grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D-. The match was terrible, but the point here was introducing Jillian and the big joke about her. I get the idea of not having just another good looking blonde out there but they couldn’t think of ANYTHING else? This year, we’ve seen OVW talents with a gimmick of a stutter and a growth on her face, among other bad ideas. Just….come on already people.

Post match, Jillian lays Torrie out.

The Mexicools are in the backstage concessions area and apparently are supposed to be selling them tonight. The boss says get to work and leaves, but the Mexicools think it’s a good idea.

Summerslam is coming. This includes the Divas in a swimsuit car wash.

William Regal vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Hold on as here are the Mexicools with the concessions for a segment that would get WWE thrown into a fire these days. The referee gets a drink thrown on him, followed by a beatdown for Scotty and Regal. Popcorn and nachos are included. I’m almost scared to know who came up with this idea.

Raw Rebound.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

The winner gets Batista at Summerslam and Jordan is at ringside. Joined in progress after a break with Undertaker shouldering JBL (and his bad ribs) down. Undertaker hammers away at the ribs in the corner and a big boot gets two. More shots to the ribs let Undertaker knock him to the floor, followed by a ram into the barricade. There’s the apron legdrop for two more but JBL finally gets in a shot of his own and hammers away in the corner. The ribs are fine enough for a slam and JBL goes up, only to get superplexed right back down for two more.

Back from a break with Undertaker bouncing off the announcers’ table as Cole freaks out over Jordan’s cheating during the commercial. Undertaker fights back up without much effort and the Downward Spiral gets another near fall. JBL gets in a low blow for two, only to have Undertaker come back with the jumping clothesline. Snake Eyes into the big boot into the legdrop gets two but the referee gets bumped.

Undertaker deals with the invading Jordan by kicking a chair into his face. That lets JBL get in the big boot and a chair to the head for two, with the kickout sending JBL into a panic. There’s a chokeslam to JBL and a right hand to Jordan, the latter of which sends the referee outside. The Tombstone connects but it’s Randy Orton running in with the RKO to give JBL the cheating pin.

Rating: D+. They went into this with an actual doubt of how it was going to go and while the idea that I have to watch JBL vs. Batista again makes my head hurt, I do like Undertaker vs. Orton II. The match was the usual slow Undertaker vs. JBL fight but that’s really all you can expect from JBL at this point.

Overall Rating: D+. There are times where I look at this show in awe. I’m not sure how WWE comes up with all of these bad ideas but they just keep piling on over and over again. Maybe they need some time after all of the new names showing up but egads man, it shouldn’t be this hard. Just stop doing stupid stuff and it should be a better show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 1990
Date: January 21, 1990
Location: Orlando Arena, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

We get the list of almost everyone in the Rumble to start just like last year.

Jesse Ventura in Mickey Mouse Ears is a scary sight.

Buschwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeaus

Off to Luke vs. Jacques, with Luke taking a bite out of his nose. Jacques says hit me in the face, so Luke charges with a clothesline and hits Ray instead. Things slow down again and the Rougeaus easily distract Luke, allowing Ray to jump him for two. Ray comes in for real and kicks Luke down for two more. Luke is sent to the floor and goes back first into the apron. This match is already dragging.

The Genius vs. Brutus Beefcake

We get a clean break and Beefcake tells Genius what he can kiss. They lock up again and Genius goes to the eyes to get the first advantage. Beefcake comes out with an atomic drop and Genius gets to do his way overdone selling. I miss that. Back in and Genius fires off some shockingly good punches so Brutus comes back with an even bigger punch. Expect to hear the word punch a lot in this match.

Greg Valentine vs. Ronnie Garvin

This is a submission match as they both use submissions for a finisher. See? Not that complicated. Now the interesting thing here is that both guys have shin guards (Garvin even has his named: the Hammer Jammer) which blocks the pain of a Figure Four. They slug it out to start with Valentine being rammed into the buckles repeatedly. Greg comes back with chops and they slug it out in the middle of the ring.

Big Boss Man vs. Jim Duggan

That of course comes to a screeching halt as we hit a neck crank by the cop. Duggan fights up and makes a quick comeback, only to get caught by a knee lift to the ribs. Back to the neck crank followed by a bearhug which Duggan fails to break with some smacks to the head. Instead he falls into the ropes and the brawl continues.

They slug it out some more and Duggan clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and more punching (notice a theme here?) ensues by Jim. Boss Man comes back with a clothesline but misses a top rope splash. They collide again to put both guys down but Slick slips the nightstick to Boss Man which draws the DQ.

Wrestlemania is still coming.

Royal Rumble

Jake Roberts is #4 and they fight on the floor which I think is a first in the Rumble. DiBiase slams him on the floor before they head back inside. A backdrop puts DiBiase down but the DDT is countered into another backdrop. They keep brawling and #5 is Randy Savage. DiBiase and Savage forget their past hatred to double team Jake for awhile until Roddy Piper is #6, setting up one of those AWESOME tag matches we never got. Seriously, that would be excellent on a Coliseum Video.

Piper and Jake beat up the heels, nearly punch each other, and then beat up the heels even more. The energy for this match is WAY better than the previous two years, which is saying a lot. Warlord is #7 and he should be solid cannon fodder for some of these guys. Piper pairs off with him as DiBiase and Savage continue their beatdown on Roberts. Roddy makes the save until Bret Hart is #8, drawing a BIG pop.

The heels double team Hogan to put him down but Warrior saves. They beat up Warrior a bit until Hogan Hulks Up and goes to the corner, eliminating Warrior in the process. Hercules is #29, which is pretty awesome luck as he got #28 the year before. Hogan tries to put Barbarian out but gets poked in the eye. Perfect is #30, giving us a final five of Hogan, Rude, Barbarian, Hercules and Perfect.

Ratings Comparison

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeaus

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brutus Beefcake vs. The Genius

Original: C+

Redo: D

Ronnie Garvin vs. Greg Valentine

Original: F (Biased). B- (Unbiase).

Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Big Boss Man

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Dang the weight of the Rumble has gone way up in the last few years.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/09/royal-rumble-count-up-1990/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 1990
Date: January 21, 1990
Location: Orlando Arena, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Tony Schiavone

Yes, that Tony Schiavone, not the other Tony Schiavone. He was around for a cup of coffee around this time and it’s more or less completely forgotten. Anyway, we’re at the third Rumble now and the look of the show has completely changed. It’s not the old and for lack of a better term tired looking ring and logo, but rather the bright and colorful one that is more commonly known. Naturally Hogan is world champion here and is looking for an opponent at Mania 6.

At this time, no one knew who that was going to be. There were rumors ranging from Warrior to Mr. Perfect (more on that later) to Zeus of all people. There were even rumors that Vince was going to have Hogan drop the belt back to Savage to have Savage vs. Warrior for the main event.

Vince was in real financial trouble at this time and Mania absolutely had to be huge or he very well could have gone bankrupt. Other than the Rumble, there’s not a lot here. Correction: there’s nothing else here. On that note, let’s get to the drivel that is the non main event matches before we get to the real reason this show exists.

The opening is just Vince listing the card and a lot of people in the Rumble. Oh and there’s a Brother Love show tonight. Jesse is wearing Mickey Mouse ears. That’s just awesome. There needs to be another character like Jesse on commentary. He’s just so awesome at it.

Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Bushwackers

All American Boys is just an awesome song. Jimmy Hart was awesome. This whole era just completely rocks. I love me some Marching Morons. Jacques has a big old beard here so maybe Jesse can finally tell their unsimilar faces apart. Jesse says that Mickey and Goofy didn’t have tickets. That’s so stupid yet Jesse makes me chuckle with it. It’s good because they’re killing time in the ring so Jesse at least gives us something to enjoy.

This is I guess you would say a rematch from Wrestlemania 5. We’re a minute in and Ramon uses a sleeper. Butch bites the referee’s pants. There was just something slightly homosexual about these teams. Watch their matches and you’ll sense it too. Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that we have a comedy match here. After about 4-5 instances of the same exact stuff over and over again, the Bushwackers are in trouble.

Luke gets beaten on for a good while as this is running too long. Naturally Luke gets the tag to Butch. If nothing else the crowd is on fire here. If they’re like this for Luke and Butch, what are they going to be like for Hogan? Anyway, after some interference by Jimmy, the Battering Ram ends this.

Rating: D+. This just went on too long. If they cut about 3 minutes in the middle of it, this would have gone much better. It was a comedy match which is ok, but not for nearly 15 minutes. That’s just way too long. These two had some shall we say interesting matches over the years and this was no exception. There’s not a lot going on here, but the crowd liked it so take that for what it’s worth.

DiBiase and Virgil are with Gene, who suggests that DiBiase rigged last year’s drawing. Either way, he has #1 this year. DiBiase was just a masterful heel. His line of “Let me tell you something little man” is just awesome stuff.

Genius vs. Brutus Beefcake

Genius’ brother is the far more famous but possibly less talented Randy Savage. Yeah I said it. Beefcake’s music is just sweet and always has been. For like the 12th time tonight we see the capacity crowd. We get it already. Genius offers a left-handed handshake. Why don’t more people do that? Genius is doing a semi-gay gimmick here, complete with cartwheels and various things that apparently equate to homosexuality.

Sorry if that comes off as derogatory, but it’s simply the case. An atomic drop by Brutus makes Genius roll around the ring three full times. That’s quite impressive. This is really a glorified squash, despite Genius being the lackey of one of the bigger heels in the company in Mr. Perfect. He also beat Hogan (count out) on SNME a few weeks prior to this. Brutus is a power guy, but you very rarely see him portrayed as such.

For such a long match (run time of about 12 minutes) not a lot is happening here. It’s not really bad and it’s kind of interesting, but nothing of note is really happening. After the sleeper doesn’t get put on, the referee is bumped and the lack of a clean ending becomes obvious. WOW. The crowd popped like a cherry for the sleeper. That’s saying a lot. Somehow inside of about 12 seconds the Genius is sound asleep.

That never ceases to amaze me. Here’s a haircut for the Genius because the referee is still out cold. Perfect runs in and beats up Beefcake though. It’s thrown out in case you were wondering. Oh and in this beatdown, Perfect uses a Perfectplex. I won’t even touch on why that’s stupid. Perfect hits a few chair shots to the ribs as it’s announced as a double DQ, I guess for the haircut. Or some reason we have a slow motion replay of basic strikes.

Rating: C+. Like I said, for such a long match, nothing really happened. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad though. It wasn’t bad at all, but it just kind of came and went. Beefcake had a very short feud with Perfect and then got injured I think, putting his career on the shelf for a good many years. Perfect would become IC Champion after Warrior had to vacate it, and the rest of his career is well known. Either way, this wasn’t bad at all, but certainly not memorable.

Mooney is with the Heenan Family. He mentions that they might wind up fighting each other. Hilarity ensues.

Mania 6 will be in Toronto.

BLAST IT ALL! Ronnie freaking Garvin is on this show. In case I haven’t mentioned it, I want him to be shot.

Submission Match: Ronnie Garvin vs. Greg Valentine

Let’s get this over with. Both guys use submissions occasionally, so that’s validation of a gimmick match. Since this is a submission match, they both take boxing stances and pound on each other. Well if nothing else it’s physical. The boxing makes a bit of sense as it’s wearing the other guy down. That at least makes some sense. They keep going for pins here, which makes sense as it’s instinct to go for a pin in a wrestling match for these guys.

If that’s fake or legit, I’m fine either way. If it’s legit, that’s just instinct. If it’s fake, it’s a nice addition to a match. Jesse implies these two are top level talent. Not in the WWF at least they’re not. They’re really building this slowly which is something good. It’s not done anymore and it should be. Oh I forgot: both guys have shin guards on which allegedly stops the submissions from hurting.

To further my hatred of him, Ronnie Garvin is in the figure four and makes “funny” faces at Valentine. Who in the world thought that would be a good idea? No wonder Vince was running out of money. He spent a ton of it on high quality cocaine apparently. Garvin uses an Indian Deathlock. Other than Terry Funk losing to Harley Race with it, I don’t think anyone has ever won anything with it.

If nothing else, these guys are beating the tar out of each other. That’s not bad at all. After a double collision, Hart steals Garvin’s leg brace which is called the Hammer Jammer. Now the figure four works. I think that almost comes close to making sense, but it’s just overdone. After reversing the figure four, we slug it out some more. This has been a very Attitude Era style match. Garvin steals the Valentine leg brace. Hart gets beaten up and a bad Sharpshooter from Garvin gets him the win.

Rating: F. Any match that Ronnie Garvin is featured in automatically is awful, no questions asked. For an unbiased grade let’s go with a B-. This was very intense and all kinds of brutal without weapons use. I still hate Garvin, but this was his best match to date that I’ve seen.

Sean is with Hacksaw, who says that Boss Man won’t be a problem for him. Duggan just looks WEIRD here. His eyes are mostly closed so I’m guessing stoned and or drunk. The end of his board is green for some reason too.

Big Bossman vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan still has no music here. Oh and Slick is Boss Man’s manager. Surprising no one, this starts as a big brawl. Almost immediately we’re on the floor. Boss Man misses a charge and his arm hits the post, and in something that stuns me, Duggan actually follows up on it! That lasts all of 3 seconds as Boss Man goes back on offense, with a FREAKING ENZIGURI! What in the world??? Where did he learn that?

Tony says the Boss Man shouldn’t have the nightstick. Jesse counters with why should Duggen have the 2×4? Tony says it’s his trademark. Wow and I thought Vince was biased towards faces. From a wrestling standpoint, this is crap. From a brawling standpoint it’s pretty good. I’m not sure what Duggan has done other than punch, but that’s ok I suppose. No actually it isn’t. I know he’s a brawler but there’s other stuff you can do too.

Clotheslines, shoulders, maybe a suplex or something? That would at least add some variety. There’s a real similarity in styles here which means that it’s going to be very hard to have a good match between these two. It can work with guys like Bret and Shawn, but with guys like Duggan who are kind of limited in their offense, this isn’t going to go well. Also, this isn’t the Boss Man that you’re familiar with. He’s about 40-50 pounds heavier at this stage of his career.

He’s not nearly as fat as he was last year, but he’s still a big old guy. You can really tell here by the end that they’re both just completely spent. Considering we’re about eight minutes in, that’s not saying a lot. For some reason that I’ll never get, Boss Man goes for a top rope splash that naturally misses.

It’s a shame that two guys are this spent this fast. Ok maybe not fast but it shouldn’t be this bad period. Boss Man nails Duggan with the stick but gets caught for the very cheap DQ. Dang man can we please get a clean pin in a match tonight? Is that too much to ask for? The 2×4 doesn’t hit anyone but it gets rid of the heels.

Rating: C+. This was fine for what it was, which is a big brawl. Neither guy is going to light the world on fire or anything like that, so this was about as good as it was ever going to get. Boss Man had slimmed down a bit here and was getting close to the weight that he would be most famous at. That enziguri was kind of preview of the great stuff that was coming from him in the next year or so. Anyway, this was good enough and they kept it kind of short which was the best thing possible.

Nothing has change in the last half hour as Mania 6 is STILL in Toronto!

Perfect is proud of what he did, and that he got #30.

Brother Love Show

Love is talking about the definition of a lady. He brings out the definition of a lady: Sensational Sherri. Jesse actually says she looks hot. I don’t remember hearing that term in 1990. In what takes about 10 minutes, they say that Sapphire is the definition of a peasant which brings her out.

Love keeps cutting her off over and over again which gets her more and more angry. She hits Sherri, leading to Savage coming out. Dusty of course comes out and the faces run off the heels and beat up Love. That took 12 minutes somehow. What was the point of Sapphire? Does anyone have an answer to that for me? That was long and rather pointless.

A lot of people say their thoughts on their Rumble numbers.

Dino Bravo wants his to be close to Warrior’s.

Earthquake will crush everyone.

Demolition say they won’t have to fight each other this year, so they’re lucky.

Bad News Brown says that people will be crying when their favorite wrestlers lose.

Dusty says that he wants to get his hands on Savage. Sapphire joins him to incomprehensibly yell.

The Rockers say they’ll be fine and they want the Powers of Pain.

Hercules says that he’s ready.

Rick Martel says no one will touch his beautiful face.

Tito Santana says he has no friends today. ARRIBA!

Jimmy Snuka says something about sharks.

Slick and Akeem (who over the last two years has had by far the best run in the two Rumbles) is the baddest guy in there.

Warrior is his general insane self, saying something about a virus, then mentioning Hogan’s name.

Tony and Jesse say some generic stuff before the next batch talk. This must have been an intermission.

Savage says he’s the person you shouldn’t bet against.

The Powers of Pain say they’ll win, which makes no sense but whatever.

Jake says the man that will do anything will win, which is him.

The Harts say they’re ready to go the distance. Those two had scary chemistry together.

Honky says he’s going to play 29 hits.

Finally, Hogan says that he’s ready.

Royal Rumble

We already know that DiBiase got #1, so the big question is who got #2? The answer would be none other than the joke of the Hall of Fame, Koko B. Ware. Seriously, what’s wrong with this picture? DiBiase, who still doesn’t have music here but would get it by Mania, isn’t in the Hall of Fame but Ware is. That’s just inexcusable. Ted jumps him on the way into the ring which is smart.

Koko is blonde here for no apparent reason. He gets slammed head first into the buckle and for some reason that wakes him up. Koko goes into jobber offense 101 but a charge at the ropes leaves DiBiase alone in the ring. 3 is Marty Jannetty, who I’m currently debating about in the spam zones. After some more jobber offense including that signature punch of his, Jannetty tries a cross body near the ropes and goes out to leave DiBiase alone again.

Jake Roberts is in fourth. These two would go at it again at Mania. DiBiase jumps to the floor to go after him including putting on the Million Dollar Dream. Back in the ring Jake naturally takes over and goes for the DDT, which fails. Sorry for the play by play aspect here, but this early on it’s really just one liners until we get something significant going on, which may take a little time.

They beat on each other for awhile until Savage comes in at 5. He’s rocking bright blue tights trimmed with black and nearly pink gloves. I’ll give him this: he was unique. They double team Jake as we’re finally getting something going here. Far less than two minutes later, Roddy freaking Piper is in at 6. The fans pop loudly for him too. That’s a pretty good collection of talent in there, but very few titles in the company.

Savage had three, DiBiase had three, Piper had one and Roberts had zero. That’s quite surprising. That’s quite a tag match also. There are some insane feuds in there, some of which never happened. Savage vs. Piper anyone? Can you imagine the promos those two would have on each other? All four of these guys could work and talk with the best of them. We mess that up with the Warlord coming in at seven.

He’s still a Power of Pain here so he’s about as generic of a monster heel as you could imagine. In something that’s both surprising and cool, Piper just flat out beats Warlord up. That’s awesome. Piper can really fight when he has to. Sherri shouting to break Jake’s neck is creepy. The eighth guy is Bret Hart. DANG there’s some talent out there! You have Bret, Savage, Roberts, Piper and DiBiase out there.

Just how awesome of a collection of talent is that? Bret got a very good pop by the way, so people knew that he was something special. Since he’s Bret Hart he goes after the biggest man in the match. This is a smark’s dream match here. Piper and Hart work together. Is there a bad combination in there that doesn’t include Warlord? With this many great guys in there, nine has to suck.

It’s Bad News Brown, who somehow is the sixth most talented guy in the ring out of seven? That can’t be something that would happen a lot. Brown was so far ahead of his time it’s scary. Think of Brown and then think of Austin. How many similarities are there in there? Jake sets for the DDT but Savage knocks him out instead. Dang I guess it couldn’t last forever. Piper almost puts DiBiase out but Savage makes the save.

Tony suggests that Savage has been paid off. That’s an interesting thought. We hit double digits with Dusty, who skips to the ring. That was just a wrong image. Naturally he goes after Savage with a bunch of elbows that miss by about two or three inches each. Dusty takes out Savage in what might have been the only thing Dusty ever got over Savage in their very long feud. There’s a fan in a red shirt in the front row that is as energetic of a fan as I’ve ever seen at a wrestling show.

Andre is eleven, moving so slowly that it’s flat out sad to watch. He can’t even stand up straight since his back is so messed up. Within seconds he tosses the Warlord as Heenan and Fuji are going at it on the floor. I’d pay to not have to see that. Dusty gets crushed by the epic weight of Andre in the corner. There’s some great comedy there that a guy as lazy as Dusty is getting crushed by the biggest guy in the company.

Speaking of annoying wrestlers, Red Rooster is 12. I know I wasn’t talking about annoying wrestlers but I had nothing better for a transition there. Piper throws out Brown but Brown comes back and pulls Piper out. They fight to the back with a huge Roddy chant accompanying them. This led to the weird match where Piper was painted half black.

According to his DVD, Andre and someone else ribbed him by getting rid of the stuff that got the paint off of him so he was stuck like that for 2-3 weeks afterwards. That’s just amusing. Just to recap, in the ring we have Andre, Rooster, Hart, DiBiase, Rhodes, and at 13 we have Axe of Demolition. As he gets in, Andre throws out Rooster, thank goodness. Dusty and Axe get Andre tied in the ropes but before they can try to throw him out, Haku, Andre’s partner, comes in at 14 to make the save.

DiBiase looks spent one second and the next he looks great. That’s impressive. Dusty does his weird Hulking Up thing with the dancing that I always got annoyed with. His Twinkie reserves get low though and he gets knocked back down. We get to halfway with Smash, putting the tag champions and the former champions in there at the same time. What a coincidence!

Akeem the African Dream and by far the most successful Rumble guy ever starts the second half by going after Andre of all people. Demolition take out Andre with a simple double clothesline. That gets a massive pop. Bret is thrown out during the hullabaloo over Andre. Your current lineup is Demolition, DiBiase, Rhodes, Akeem and Haku. Snuka is in at 17. This thing is going by quickly.

He and Akeem go at it in the house show match from a nightmare. Snuka wins, putting Akeem out early, at least by his standards. Schiavone says the battle rages on, which he used to say all the time in the World War 3 matches. Bravo gets up to 18. You can tell that the guys are starting to get a bit tired out there. There’s a ton of power guys in there also. Earthquake is 19 and he nearly immediately puts out Dusty.

He tosses Axe as well so you can see how big of a deal they were going to make this guy, at least in the short term. Neidhart is 20, giving us him, Earthquake, Haku, DiBiase, Smash, Bravo and Snuka. All of them other than Bravo combine to get rid of Earthquake. Hart is panicking over this of course. Granted I think he panics ordering dinner. I mean think about it: chicken or pasta. HE CAN’T TAKE THAT KIND OF PRESSURE!!!

We start the final ten with Ultimate Warrior who is the IC Champion at the time. He takes out Bravo, who is as pale as humanly possible while still being alive. Only DiBiase and Snuka aren’t power guys out there, and Jimmy is debatable.

Martel is 22nd, and somehow he’s the only former world champion in this match at the moment. How creepy does that sound? Haku takes out Smash with a backdrop and a superkick that was always awesome. We get a Strike Force reunion as Tito Santana is in at Michael Jordan’s number.

We’re in need of some fresh jobbers in there to replace the tired ones that we have. Hey it’s Honky at 24. He certainly fits that description at this time period. Warrior and Martel take out Anvil followed by Warrior putting out DiBiase to a big pop. That man has earned a ham sandwich if anyone ever has. We’ve got Warrior, Snuka, Honky, Haku, Santana and Martel in there at the moment and they’re joined by Hogan at 25.

He stumbles coming to the ring. That’s just funny. He takes out Snuka and Haku before taking the shirt off. Warrior gets rid of Tito and you can see it coming a mile away, but the awesomeness of it isn’t diminished at all. As if there wasn’t enough ego in the ring, Shawn Michaels is out next, 26th to be exact. There goes Honky so we have Hogan, Warrior…and as I was typing the other names they were thrown out, leaving us with the showdown of showdowns.

To say the crowd popped hard is an understatement. Heenan, who has no one in the ring at the moment, is standing out there watching. That’s just cool. They hit some shoulders and no one goes back that far. A criss cross leads to a double clothesline. From an unbiased perspective, that was really boring. From a pure 80s mark, the world just exploded from the sheer levels of awesome in those few seconds.

Both guys stay down for about 15 seconds until Barbarian is out at 27. That guy has been around forever with very little change to his gimmick, but he kept getting work. That’s quite interesting. Think about it. He was in WWF in the late 80s through early 90s, then in WCW for a bit then a quick run in WWF again and then was in WCW forever. That’s saying a lot. Rude I guess jumps the gun as he’s in maybe 20 seconds after Barbarian.

Even Jesse makes a point about it. Rude hits a pretty good dropkick to put Warrior down. For some reason Warrior saves Hogan. Jesse of course hates it but Tony has no issue with it. Rude and Warrior just always had scary good chemistry together. I’ve never gotten that. Hogan tries to return the favor and save Warrior but knocks Warrior out instead. Warrior of course jumps back in and then more or less dances out.

29 is Hercules leaving just Perfect for 30. What is the deal with pale guys wearing powder blue? Both Hercules and Bravo do that. If what’s said about Hogan and Big Show is true, Hogan has bigger boots than Show. I find that unlikely. I love how Jesse and Heenan were right about Hogan being crooked for years. I wonder if those were semi-shoot comments. Perfect finishes us at 30.

He was actually more or less set in stone to win this thing, but Hogan said no, giving us this ending. Barbarian is put out by Hercules. Yeah Perfect was supposed to be the top heel to challenge Hogan, probably even fighting him at Mania but due to Hogan saying no and Perfect vs. Hogan tanking house shows, Vince went with Warrior. That explains the big showdown from earlier.

We get down to Rude and Perfect against Hogan, which was the original ending but with Perfect winning though. Perfect accidentally puts out Rude, leaving us with Perfect and Hogan. Can you imagine if Perfect had actually won this? How awesome would that have been? It’s not like Hogan would have been crushed by it or anything. Perfect gets the suplex on Hogan but Hogan pops up.

You mean he got up from a generic not exactly snapping suplex? NO WAY! Even I have to give that one to Hogan. After smacking the post, Perfect is gone and Hogan wins…of course. I would have loved to see Perfect win there to set up that match on SNME or something. It wouldn’t have worked at Mania, but it would have rocketed Perfect to the top heel spot which was vacant at the time. I guess it was him, but not by much at all. Massive posing ends the show.

Rating: A-. This was good all around. It had cool moments like Demolition beating Andre and the showdown, but it also had the great battle royal stuff like odd alliances and interesting matchups. This was the Rumble getting it right for the first time. Earthquake looked like a big deal because of this which was the main point. This certainly was a success and went by FAST, which to me says it was interesting.

Overall Rating: C-. Let’s see: first match sucked, second match was a long glorified squash, third was a Garvin match, and fourth was a decent brawl. You add in a good Rumble and to me that’s right in the middle. It’s not a terrible show, but once again this is all about the main event with a horrible midcard. This was all about setting up Mania though and it did just that. Hogan vs. Warrior was the dream match that people wanted to see and they got a preview here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: December 27, 2019
Location: Little Caesars Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s the final show of the decade and that means….well probably not much really, as we are in the period just before the build to the Royal Rumble starts up. This time around though we are in for a big match with Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz vs. King Corbin for the #1 contendership to the Universal Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Elias to sing about how bad things were in 2019, such as Bayley and Shane McMahon. But hey, at least this show doesn’t have the Lana/Bobby Lashley wedding.

Opening sequence.

Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz vs. King Corbin

Hold on though as Corbin needs to brag about his success before Miz can even come out. Miz and Bryan have a lot in common: they’re terrible fathers, they’re former World Champions and they’ve both main evented Wrestlemania. They aren’t doing it again next year though because Corbin is getting the shot and taking down the Fiend.

Miz thinks he’s an action hero but he’s not a real hero in the ring. Cue Roman Reigns as the throne falls over, meaning it’s Reigns taking over on Corbin with a bunch of uppercuts. The Superman Punch off the steps looks to set up the spear but Corbin bails over the barricade instead. No match of course.

Post break, Corbin demands that the triple threat match be postponed.

New Day/Braun Strowman vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Sami Zayn/Cesaro

Cesaro headlocks Kofi to start so it’s off to Nakamura, who is elbowed in the face in a hurry. A clothesline puts him on the floor so Sami grabs Kofi’s foot to take over. Sami actually comes in legally for the first time (well the first time where he does anything) in months. Kofi gets sent outside and Cesaro hits a heck of a running uppercut to knock him over the announcers’ table.

We take a break with Cesaro feigning innocence and come back with Kofi’s hot tag attempt being cut off. Cesaro uppercuts the heck out of him for two and it’s Nakamura coming in for his own spanking abdominal stretch. Strowman grabs Nakamura’s hand but Cesaro makes the save. Kinshasa is countered with the jumping double stomp to the chest and they’re both down. Graves: “Kofi just waffle stomped him in the middle of the ring.” I hope he managed to do the Watusi and watch I Love Lucy too.

The hot tag brings in Strowman and it’s time to clean house, setting up the running shoulders around the ring. Strowman chases Sami but runs right into the jumping knee to the chest from Nakamura. Back in and Strowman blasts Nakamura with a clothesline, only to get caught with a great looking springboard uppercut from Cesaro. Nakamura tries to use the pancake platter but Kofi hits him with it instead, setting up the running powerslam for the pin on Nakamura at 13:32.

Rating: C. Perfectly watchable tag match here and it helps set up Strowman vs. Nakamura, likely for the title at the Rumble. I’m not sure if Strowman is going to win the title, but it’s a different match that we haven’t seen before. New Day still needs opponents, but they’re the perfect placeholder champions for a time like this.

Post match, Strowman dances with New Day. Corey, in the mod deadpan voice ever: “A ‘get these hips’ chant has broken out in the Little Caesars Arena.”

We recap the opening sequence.

Corbin has demanded that the triple threat match be postponed so it’s Miz vs. Bryan in a singles match.

Here’s the dog food segment again.

Sonya Deville is signing some autographs when Mandy Rose comes up to get her for a match. Sonya isn’t interested because Mandy wasn’t there for her last week and storms off. Otis comes in and offers Mandy a homemade fruit cake. He apologizes for the sweat last week but Mandy is cool with it. Otis wants to say something else but Mandy has to leave.

Carmella vs. Mandy Rose

They to to the mat to start but Mandy slips out and hits a running knee. We hit the cross arm choke on Carmella, who is right back up for the slugout. They trade some near falls, including Mandy getting two off a backslide. The O’Connor roll is blocked though and Carmella hits a superkick for the pin at 2:30.

Rating: D+. Carmella’s theme music saying “ain’t got time for this” sums up where about half of the Smackdown women’s division is at this point. These matches are like from back in the old days and while they aren’t that bad, they’re feeling like something that means nothing at all. It’s not a good sign that they could slip back into that reality all over again but it seems to be the case.

Sheamus is still coming back.

Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz

Feeling out process to start with Miz shouldering him down, setting up some staring. Bryan kicks him to the floor but gets backdropped to the apron. They hit stereo crossbodies for a double knockdown….and here are Corbin’s helpers for the double DQ at 3:30.

Post match Miz and Bryan clean house.

Post break Corbin says he’s in on the triple threat, so here are Bryan and Miz to jump him.

It’s time for a Moment of Bliss with Nikki Cross joining Alexa. This week’s guest is Lacey Evans, who did NOT like Sasha Banks insulting her daughter last week. We see a clip of the beatdown and Lacey talks about how that was crossing a line. It brought out Mama Bear and she isn’t happy with the idea of standing out here with her back to the entrance. She’s ready to fight right now so let’s have this match.

Lacey Evans/Dana Brooke vs. Sasha Banks/Bayley

Hold on though as Sasha and Bayley drag (kind of) Dana out here with Sasha calling Lacey a terrible mother and friend. The fight is on and we take a break before the opening bell. Back with Bayley jumping Lacey but getting taken into the corner for the tag off to Brooke. Dana hammers away but gets taken into the corner so Banks can start beating on her as well.

A little taunting brings Lacey in, allowing Dana to get double teamed in the corner. Bayley kicks her down again and Banks gets two off a Meteora. Brooke finally gets in a shot to the face though and the hot tag brings in Lacey to face Bayley. Some knees to the ribs have Bayley down and a picture perfect double jump moonsault gets two as Banks makes the save. The case lets Bayley hit the Bayley to Belly for two but Dana tags herself in. There’s the Woman’s Right to Bayley but the Bank Statement makes Dana tap at 6:35.

Rating: C. The heat on Dana was longer than it needed to be but this keeps Lacey vs. Bayley going and it’s not like Dana can sink any further. I do like the fact that she is now trusted to be in matches like this and she is far from embarrassing herself. Dana is never going to be a star, but she’s improving and that’s what matters most.

Dolph Ziggler hits on Mandy, who still has the fruit cake. He asks about her New Year’s plans and thinks the cake is for him. Some suggestions that everyone has gotten a piece of Otis’ cake makes Ziggler put it down though and he steps on it. Cue Corbin to get Ziggler out of there in a hurry though.

Mustafa Ali talks about how this year didn’t go as well as he was hoping for but 2020 will be better.

Otis is crushed, just like his cake.

The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan vs. King Corbin

The winner gets Wyatt at the Rumble, though Cole calls Bryan the Fiend as we get things started. Miz and Bryan kick away at Corbin to start so he bails to the floor, leaving Miz to roll Bryan up at one. Bryan posts Miz on the floor and hits the big running knee off the apron, only to get sent over the barricade by Corbin (with Bryan seeming to hurt his knee). The chokebreaker drops Miz as well and it’s Corbin completely dominating early on. Back in and the Reality Check drops Corbin, setting up the running corner dropkicks. Corbin runs both of them over though and we take a break.

We come back with Miz and Bryan trading near falls until Miz sends him outside. Miz fires off the kicks to Corbin in the corner, including some to the leg to set up the Figure Four. Bryan comes in with the headbutt for the save and gets two, as Miz looks on in shock for a cool visual. The hold is turned over so Bryan grabs the LeBell Lock on Corbin in a combination you don’t often see.

With that broken up, the End of Days gets two on Miz as Corbin has to make a save. There’s the running knee to Corbin but Ziggler runs in for the superkick to give Corbin two as Reigns makes the save. Reigns knocks Corbin over the barricade and we take another break. We come back with Corbin and Reigns gone, leaving Miz to hit the running corner clothesline.

Bryan gets taken up top and it’s a super shinbreaker (that’s a new one) to work on the knee. A Codebreaker to the knee drops Bryan again and a DDT to the other leg has Bryan in more trouble. Bryan grabs a quick cross armbreaker but Miz bites his hand to break up the LeBell Lock. The running knee is countered into the Skull Crushing Finale for two so Miz goes right back to the Figure Four. That’s reversed as well and Bryan slaps on the LeBell Lock for the tap at 20:18.

Rating: C+. They went with some different stuff here and of course we can’t beat Corbin because the show needs his head or whatever they want to call it. At least they got to the right result and we can move on to the big Fiend vs. Bryan rematch. That being said, oh come on with starting with the triple threat, going to a singles match and then doing a triple threat which turned into a singles. You think they might be overdoing it a bit there?

Post match Bray pops up on screen to say Bryan is about to have all kinds of fun. See, HE isn’t done with Bryan so Bray wants to know if Bryan will let him in. Bryan: “YES!”

Overall Rating: C. There was a bit of a spark to this one and it helped out a good bit. Now what we had other than that wasn’t all that great, but at least they have set up a few things on the way to the Rumble. The problem is more that the characters being presented, outside of Wyatt and Bryan, just aren’t very interesting. The women’s division matches are terrible and I’m not exactly going to get into Mandy and Otis’ oddball potential romance. Corbin and Ziggler aren’t helping things, but there are other problems besides the two of them.

Results

New Day/Braun Strowman b. Sami Zayn/Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura – Running powerslam to Nakamura

Carmella b. Mandy Rose – Superkick

Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz went to a double DQ when King Corbin’s throne carriers interfered

Sasha Banks/Bayley b. Dana Brooke/Lacey Evans – Bank Statement to Brooke

Daniel Bryan b. The Miz and King Corbin – LeBell Lock to Miz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 25, 2005
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are officially on the road to Summerslam and that means it’s time to crank things up. Now granted that doesn’t mean much of a change around here as a lot of the matches have already been set up or at least made clear. Tonight we’re getting a Diva Search segment plus a battle of the bands between Chris Jericho and John Cena, because we’re just lucky that way. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at last week’s nightmare of a lumberjack match.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his Kurt Angle Invitational but he isn’t in the mood to waste time. Therefore, get the opponent out here right now. This brings out….Christy Hemme? Angle is rather confused but likes the idea, suggesting they start in the referee’s position. Christy says don’t flatter yourself because she has another opponent in mind, and he happens to be from Cleveland.

Kurt Angle vs. Eugene

It’s Eugene’s first match since January due to the knee injury. Angle doesn’t get it as Eugene isn’t from Cleveland. That means Eugene takes off his jacket to reveal a Cleveland Browns jersey, but Kurt isn’t convinced. A Duck Season/Rabbit Season bit doesn’t work either but Kurt says Eugene is making him mentally challenged too. Angle jumps him from behind and we start fast with Angle ripping off the jersey. Wouldn’t that be an improvement?

Anyway, Kurt chokes with the jersey and hits him with crossface shots to the jaw as the dominance is on in a hurry. The fans get on Angle as he unloads in the corner but a ram into the buckle wakes Eugene up. The comeback is on as we only have thirty seconds left. Angle blocks the Stunner and there’s the Angle Slam but the ankle lock is rolled through, sending Kurt outside and Eugene beats the clock.

Rating: D+. What do you say to this? It’s a squash until Angle slips on a banana peel to lose to a returning comedy guy. Christy being in Eugene’s corner doesn’t fix a lot of his problems, like the fact that he’s still Eugene. It was nice to get a payoff though, even if it might not be the best idea in the world.

There’s a mini Viscera. What else do I need to say to that?

John Cena comes in to see Eric Bischoff and talks about thinking he was Scott Baio for a while. Now though, he knows he’s the WWE Champion. Bischoff wants a more down to earth champion though and calls Cena white trash. Cena: “Ooooh.” Bischoff calls all rappers scum and slime and turns around as the camera zooms in on him. We wait for it to zoom out for the big surprise, so after promising to make Cena miserable, we pan over to see….that Cena has left.

Viscera/Cloacas vs. Antonio/Pocket Rocket

Yes it’s a mixed tag and Pocket Rocket is a mini Heartthrob. Rocket takes over to start and gets in the dancing as Coach and Lawler get in the jokes you would expect. The beating keeps going for a few minutes until the cheating fails, allowing Viscera to come in off the hot tag. Viscera beats up both Heartthrobs, stares at Rocket for punching him, tosses Rocket to the floor and lets Cloacas hit a splash on Antonio to set up the pin.

Rating: F. Nope.

The ambulance arrives, because we need Edge vs. Kane in a stretcher match.

We get a tribute to Lord Alfred Hayes, who passed away earlier in the week. It’s almost strange to see him as a wrestler.

Bischoff puts Shelton Benjamin in a handicap match instead of the No DQ/No Countout match he wanted against Carlito. Shelton has to face Gene Snitsky and Chris Masters, which he says is like Bischoff’s breath: it stinks.

Maria thinks Chris Jericho is here with Fozzie Bear and wants to know if the other Muppets are going to be here. Jericho isn’t pleased and asks what a limp biscuit is and rips on Cleveland. He’s ready for the battle of the bands.

It’s time for the battle of the bands with Cena, accompanied by Trademarc and Bumpy Knuckles, performing Bad Bad Man live.

Post performance, here’s Jericho to say that was awful. This isn’t the crowd for Fozzy to perform in front of though, because this crowd is biased against him. Therefore, Cena wins by default but he’ll lose at Summerslam. Jericho leaves and Cena and company perform My Time Is Now. This is in no way shape or form an excuse to see the Diva Search girls dancing in swimsuits in the back.

Shawn Michaels sees himself in a mirror and screams for makeup.

Bischoff makes Cena vs. Carlito. If Carlito can beat Cena tonight, he can have a title shot next week. Carlito finds this cool, especially since Jericho can be referee

Here’s Shawn, in the heelish suit, for a chat. Shawn promotes Hogan Knows Best to silence (Shawn: “Then you’ve seen it.”) but doesn’t want a reality show. He doesn’t want to be a rapper or a rock star or an actor. No he’d rather be the best in-ring performer the WWE has ever seen. Hogan is living off a reputation he created twenty years ago but Shawn is out there every night proving himself all over again. Hogan lives in a million dollar home built off the sweat of every fan at home.

After all that though, the best Hogan can give you is some posing, which Shawn demonstrates. Shawn says this building is quiet because the people in the back are freaking out. He’s shooting you see, but you can’t fire him because he’s the Summerslam main event. If you wanted the old HBK, you’ve got him. Years from now, people are going to remember him as the icon. So whatcha gonna do when Shawn rolls over you at Summerslam?

We look at Eugene winning again. Next week: the Eugene Invitational.

Snitsky/Chris Masters vs. Shelton Benjamin

Snitsky jumps Shelton during Masters’ entrance but gets clotheslined to the floor in a hurry. That means the big flip dive from Benjamin and both villains are taken down. Back in and Snitsky pounds Shelton down in the corner so Masters can grab a front facelock. Shelton finally kicks him away so Snitsky gets in a cheap shot. Snitsky demands the Masterlock so on it goes….and Shelton is out.

Rating: D. Remember about a month and a half ago when Shelton looked ready to jump up to the next level? I’m not sure if he’s gotten a pin since then and it doesn’t look to be anything better going forward. At least he’s getting a feud away from Carlito, but Masters might not be the brightest future.

Post match the beating continues so Big Show makes the save.

It’s Diva Search time and Cameron is out. This week’s contest is a hot dog eating contest and it takes them the full minute to finish a single hot dog. Since there is a tie, Leyla has to win a thirty second eat off for immunity. I can only hope, but this felt like they knew they needed to pull the plug and didn’t give it much time this week. Please let that be the case because I can’t take much more on this show.

Kane vs. Edge

Stretcher match with Kane jumping him from behind during the entrances. The beating starts around the ring with Kane ramming him into various things, including the barricade and the steps. It’s too early to get Edge across the line though so Kane throws him down the ramp instead.

Back from a break with Kane in trouble for a change but the Edgecution is broken up. Kane hits the top rope clothesline but Lita takes a chair away from him. That means the spear to cut Kane down, only for Edge to realize it’s not that simple. Kane gets back up so Lita kendo sticks him in the knee.

Edge’s hard stick shot to the head puts him back down and gives us the smallest….well it’s not a trickle…..we’ll say dot of blood I can ever remember. Kane sits up to block the Pillmanizing and chairs Edge off the top. A chokeslam drops Edge onto the stretcher but Lita is right there with the briefcase to Kane’s back. Edge saves Lita from the chokeslam onto/off of the stage and a briefcase to the head is enough to give Edge the win.

Rating: D+. This was another example of the same thing that they’ve done a few times now and I don’t need to see it again. It’s beyond clear that this is heading for Matt Hardy vs. Edge but we can’t do that because Kane vs. Edge can’t end already. Just let it end already because it’s completely done at this point.

Post match Kane pops up and Tombstones Lita on the stage. As luck would have it, we have a stretcher right there. As Edge panics, Matt runs down for a few shots but security breaks it up.

Post break Lita is being loaded into the ambulance but Kane pops in again, punches out a cop, and steals the ambulance. Coach: “When is enough enough?” I’d love to hear WWE answer that.

Carlito vs. John Cena

Non-title and Bischoff is watching from the stage. Cena knows he’s in trouble here but backdrops Carlito anyway. Carlito gets in a shot to the face to put Cena on the floor Jericho is willing to count and even takes away Carlito’s chair. The distraction lets Cena hit his clothesline for a fairly slow one count.

Another shot lets Carlito take over in the corner and an elbow gives him two, with the same speed from Jericho. Carlito hits a flapjack for two and the chinlock goes on. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two more but Cena is back with the fisherman’s suplex. Carlito runs him down again and we’re in another chinlock. The knee to the ribs gets two but Cena fights up. The FU is loaded up but Jericho kicks Cena low and hits the Lionsault to give Carlito the pin.

Rating: D+. The idea here was that Jericho was calling the match down the line and for some reason JR bought it. Jericho yells at Cena as usual earlier in the night, referees fairly with the evil boss watching for eight minutes and then the turn (Was it a turn?) is shocking? I can go with the idea of throwing in the mini feud with Carlito to give them a bridge to Summerslam, but the shock and awe at Jericho being himself is a little much.

Overall Rating: D-. This was a rough one with nothing good in the ring, a bunch of stuff that felt like it was there because no one else was watching, and whatever that Viscera stuff was. Some of the matches could have been worse but with nothing good all night and a bunch of stuff that made my head hurt, the show is as close to a failure as you can get without going all the way over the line.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 1989
Date: January 15, 1989
Location: The Summit, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 19,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

Dino Bravo/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Jim Duggan/Hart Foundation

Slick says the Twin Towers (Boss Man and Akeem) are probably winners of the Rumble but denies knowing anything about shenanigans with DiBiase. Sean Mooney has footage (the original Vickie Guerrer) of Slick and DiBiase together and suddenly Slick realizes he misunderstood Mooney the first time. He has no comment though.

Rude runs his mouth a bit about beating Warrior. This must be intermission.

Jesse is sitting on the throne that will go to either Haku or Race. He thinks he might just run for King because the chair is comfortable.

King Haku vs. Harley Race

Time for more Rumble promos, with Beefcake, Greg Valentine (both of whom say they just need their fists), the Powers of Pain (Fuji does the talking for them), Big John Studd (freshly back in the company), Mr. Perfect (pretty new at this point) and Savage (insane of course).

DiBiase is much happier about his number now.

Hogan gives his usual promo with the focus on Boss Man and Akeem this time.

Royal Rumble

Warlord is #20 and Hogan clotheslines both Busters out at the same time. Warlord poses on the apron, gets in, and is clotheslined out in 2 seconds flat, setting a record that would last 20 years. Hogan also dumps Bad News, but it takes out Savage in the process which adds even more fuel to the Mega Powers Exploding in less than a month. Liz comes in to play peacemaker and the Powers shake hands.

A cross body is caught and Akeem dumps Martel to get us down to Studd, Akeem and DiBiase. Akeem pounds on Studd as DiBiase gives instructions. Studd pulls Ted in front of a splash and dumps Akeem to get us down to two. DiBiase offers money but Studd shakes a finger at him. Studd actually fires off some suplexes to the shock of Monsoon. The elimination is academic and Studd wins.

Jesse and Gorilla wrap things up.

Ratings Comparison

Jim Duggan/Hart Foundation vs. Dino Bravo/Fabulous Rougeaus

Original: C+

Redo: C

Original: C-

Redo: D

King Haku vs. Harley Race

Original: C

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/08/royal-rumble-count-up-1989/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 1989
Date: January 15, 1989
Location: The Summit, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 19,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

We have arrived at Pay Per View for this one and just looking at the card you can tell things are…about the same actually. Again there are just four matches and a segment, although this one is an improvement. The matches not called the Rumble aren’t exactly jumping off the page at me, but looking at a few names in the Rumble it’s a massive improvement with guys like Hogan, Savage, Andre, and DiBiase in it.

The segment is also better as it’s a posedown between Ultimate Warrior and Rick Rude who were kind of feuding at the time. You can just tell that the show has a much higher production value and has had more time put into it which likely will mean a much better product. Granted that’s just on paper.

I wonder how the show itself would turn out. I wish there was a way I could find out. Oh. I guess I could just watch it. I think I’ll do that, and I might as well write about it too, so why don’t you come along? If I get hungry I can always eat your leg.

Our opening video is Vince listing off all of the participants in the match. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not because it keeps surprises from occurring which is one of the highlights of the match. I get what they’re going for here but at the same time it’s just a bit odd.

Jesse’s shirt has a big shark on it. That’s most odd. He and Gorilla run down the card and we’re ready to go.

A bunch of guys take WAY too long to say they’ll win.

Dino Bravo/Rougeaus vs. Hart Foundation/Jim Duggan

What is with the Rumble and 2/3 fall matches? This makes three in two years. Isn’t that a bit of overkill guys? This is really just about two feuds being lumped into one match which is fine. They say it’s international rules to justify the 2/3 falls which is fine, but the choice is just odd indeed. It’s not necessarily good or bad but just odd. The heels have Frenchie Martin and Jimmy Hart with them.

Monsoon says that the 2×4 is a mascot and not a foreign object. That’s just odd indeed. The Harts do this weird thing of taking Bret’s glasses off and make it a spectacle. I don’t remember them doing that ever before. We start with power vs. power in Bravo vs. Neidhart. They reference the weightlifting thing from last year which makes me want to rip my hair out. The USA chant goes up for an American and two Canadians (Neidhart has dual citizenship).

They’re going really slowly here and I’m not sure if I like that. They talk about Bret’s awesome in ring ability which is completely true. It’s good to know that they saw the talent that far back. Bret then takes the side suplex from Bravo and the elevated seated senton from the Rougeaus (both of their finishers) to make it 1-0 for the heels. Bret has to start the next fall as we are LIVE IN HOUSTON!

Gorilla once again botches the use of the term literally as no one is hanging from the rafters. I don’t know why but I will never stop marking out for the jumping reverse elbow from anyone. That move is just awesome. Once again Bravo does his stupid little dance before he makes a tag. I’ve never gotten what the deal was with that. Bret is still in there by the way. Again, it never ceases to amaze me when fans chant USA for two Canadian wrestlers.

Monsoon tries to cover for them by saying it’s for Duggan, but why chant for him when he’s not even in the match at the moment? Either way it’s just stupid. We hit a rest hold with Bret getting beaten on even more than usual in this match. Not sure why he’s been in there so long but it’s probably the best thing they could do. The Rougeaus do a switch and for the life of me I don’t get how people couldn’t tell them apart.

They look nothing alike. The abdominal stretch is hooked and Gorilla complains. Good thing that some things never change. FINALLY Bret tags out and Duggan is in. After a lot of double teaming Duggan pins one of the Rougeaus to tie us up at one. For some reason Hacksaw is over and by far and away the biggest star in this match. I don’t get that and never will.

The heels take over for a very short time as Bravo idiotically (at least he’s living up to his reputation) tries to ram Duggan’s head into the turnbuckle. The face comeback lasts all of a second though as Duggan is beaten on even more. After the luke warm tag to Bret, we have a big thing of calamity and Duggan pops Bravo with the board to let Bret pin him. I love faces getting away with everything they want to.

Rating: C+. Nothing bad at all here, but I just don’t get the 2/3 falls aspect. I mean really, why do that? Do these six guys need an extra ten minutes or so? I get that there’s a lot of time to fill and a ton of the roster is taken, but I don’t get it. To be fair though, the match was fine and there’s nothing to complain about from an in ring perspective. It wasn’t anything great but perfectly fine.

We see some people picking their numbers.

DiBiase doesn’t like his number but pulls in Slick and offers him a deal.

Luke and Butch both get theirs and trade them.

Honky hates his.

Bad News likes his.

Demolition and Jake are indifferent.

The Rockers wish each other good luck.

Super Posedown

This is more or less a body contest between Warrior and Rude. Well that’s more interesting than Bravo’s weightlifting I suppose. Warrior is IC Champion here. Monsoon says Warrior is pumped up all the time. Make your own steroids joke. Rude is rocking the mustache here. The first pose is the double bicep. Popular support wins this so take a guess as to who is going to win. This is really quite boring.

Jesse and Heenan try to make this seem legit which is helping things out a lot. We move to the abdominal pose for which Heenan has to oil up Rude. That’s just creepy to an extent. The third is just called most muscular. If nothing else they’re keeping this moving fast. That’s the best part about it unlike last year when it took 20 minutes. Also, this is actually in the ring. We go through the third pose and still no one cares. The fourth is a medley which takes up even more time.

Was there supposed to be a point to this? In a shocking development, Rude jumps Warrior and beats the tar out of him with an exercise bar. That was the whole point of this thing and it took too long. Again though, it was far better than the weightlifting thing last year. Warrior gets up and destroys all of the referees and suits that try to help him up and chases after Rude. This was all to set up Rude vs. Warrior at Mania.

Women’s Title: Rockin Robin vs. Judy Martin

Robin was this random chick they put the belt on and since she was the epitome of the bathroom break match, they kept the belt on her for over a year. It was retired in 1990 because no one cared and remained that way until Alundra Blayze came along and held it for about a year, then after about another year of various feuds and champions it was dropped (into the trashcan on Nitro) and didn’t come back until the Sable era.

She was just flat out boring, plain and simple, yet of course Vince stuck with her because no one really gave cared about women’s wrestling anyway and it was based on wrestling rather than athleticism or looks. Sherri, the woman that Robin took the title from, challenges the winner for a title shot. She wouldn’t win. Just after the start of the match she jumps on commentary. There’s something that even the commentators aren’t sure about but they think it was a DDT.

Again I want to know what the point of hooking the head on a slam is. I don’t recall any man other than Earthquake doing that. Sherri sounds like Michelangelo from TMNT 2. This is really short and a relief that Wikipedia has an error. They claim this is about sixteen minutes when it barely breaks five.

I thought this might have been clipped but I can’t find a single instance where it goes sixteen, so we’ll say that’s an error, which is a relief. Robin wins with a second rope cross body after faking one then getting the second. Robin’s music is really annoying.

Rating: C. I have to go with average here because other than the ending I don’t remember anything about this match. I know that doesn’t sound good, but the time in this match and everything in it are complete blanks to me. Nothing at all of note happened in it other than the ending, which was kind of cool as the fake out isn’t something that you see that often. I think I get why the division was dropped in about a year.

Sean Mooney is with Slick and the Twin Towers, Akeem and Big Boss Man. Akeem might be the funniest character in wrestling history. Slick denies the deal with DiBiase from earlier. Sean shows the footage of them talking about a deal earlier, which Slick tries to play off as something about a shoe shine. That was just odd.

Harley Race vs. Haku

A few notes about this match: first of all, it wasn’t on the home video release at first so quite a few of you have likely never seen it. It’s only been released on the Rumble Anthologies and the original broadcast plus online. Second, this is a one night only return for Race who got really badly hurt against Hogan and had to drop the crown. Haku took it but never beat Race, so Race is back to take his crown.

Before the match, Jesse is sitting on the throne and says he likes it. Thanks for that Jess. I’ve actually never seen this match all the way through so these will be my legit first thoughts on seeing this in its entirety. When I say not all the way through, I mean I’ve seen a few stills of it and never any actual video so here we go. Heenan manages both guys so he’s set no matter what. I’ve always liked the throne entrance the king got, but DANG that jobber needs a shirt.

He must weigh about 320 and he’s in just regular tights. That’s not right. Both guys come out to the same music and in a funny bit, Race is introduced as “The Former King, Harley Race!” That just sounds funny. Race, the king of the heels, jumps Haku early. Both guys have the regal purple on which is amusing as well. I think Race is somehow the face here, which just makes me feel dirty.

The tattoos on Race always looked odd to me as he seems too clean for them I guess you would say. This was a very rare thing here as we have heel vs. heel with Race being the less heelish guy. Race is just old here and is being asked to carry this because he’s the only one of the two that knows how to work a good match. Jesse says that he has to give the experience advantage to Race. Well DUH Jess. How can it be something that’s debatable?

One guy has wrestled longer than the other. It’s not really subjective. The fans are cheering Harley. This just isn’t right. They do one of the all time worst collision spots with Race going to the floor. It looked like they were in slow motion on that one. Heenan is his usual masterful self cheering for both guys at various times. This is called the Battle For the Crown because this is a match that was dying for extra billing.

Speaking of dying, Gorilla tries to say that the crowd is hushed in anticipation for the Rumble. You have to give it to Gorilla: he never gave up. Race gets a bad piledriver on the floor as it seems like this is in slow motion again. They’re just both so slow that it’s almost painful to watch. Race simply had no business being in a ring at this point and it wasn’t even his fault. He was just old and injured which certainly isn’t something you can pin on him.

He was broke due to a bad business thing (that wasn’t his fault) in Kansas City so he had to keep wrestling to pay the bills. He was good for stuff like this: putting over guys that can’t wrestle well enough on their own. I love how you can have a guy do some chops at an angle and all of a sudden he’s a martial arts master. Goodness that was a lot of A’s in a row. After Race dominates for a bit, he misses a punch and gets caught by what we would call Sweet Chin Music to get pinned.

Rating: C-. I feel sorry here because the wrestling and the in ring stuff isn’t actually that bad at all. The problem is that it feels like this is in slow motion like I’ve said a few times. That’s really the best way to put it. Race was just so old out there that I’m very glad he went to WCW and became a manager which was what he was far better suited for at this point.

He just was too old here and it was showing bad. Haku was someone that had to be carried and this was his night to be put over and while he wasn’t bad, he certainly wasn’t good. The match was bad but the wrestling was ok if that makes any sense at all.

More people say they’ll win.

Gene talks to Rude and Heenan about the pose down where Rude says he won. They bail quickly, I’m assuming afraid of the Warrior.

Royal Rumble

I’ll spare you from another rule explanation because I’m sure you know it and I already listed them off once. This year they point out the everyman for themselves rule though, which is a change from last year. That opens a big door though as it implies face vs. face and heel vs. heel. Number one is Ax of Demolition. The interval is set at two minutes again and this year they actually make it possible as the match goes over an hour, so sit back because this is going to be a long review.

Actually don’t sit back because you might not be able to see the screen. Sit in the middle I guess. Number two is Smash, so we have Demolition going at it to start us off. I love how random of a thing this is, and it’s happened at least one other time that I remember with the Steiners I think, and then the Hardys came in at 1 and 3 in 2001. They’re the tag team champions here, in the middle of their epic year and a half or so run.

To their credit they beat on each other. It just doesn’t look right though. This is like Bubba and D-Von fighting. They’re just not good at fighting on their own. There’s something about seeing partners fight that just doesn’t work. Matt and Jeff were complete failures in their feud, and I think a lot of it is people would rather have them be partners rather than opponents. They just didn’t click as opponents and that’s a shame.

Andre comes in at three and this is an historic moment, as Demolition immediately beat him to the ground with what looks like ease. Andre looks like Rey Mysterio getting beaten on like this which is something you’ll never hear again. Mr. Perfect is 4 which sucks because I wanted more Andre vs. Demolition. Think about this for a minute. Demolition did in about ten seconds what it took Hogan fifteen minutes to do. That’s insane.

No wonder those three plus Jake were the best Survivor Series team of all time. All three of them go after the Giant and Andre just shoves Smash out after Perfect distracts him a bit. Perfect is a very young guy here in the company and is rocking just regular tights. Being the Rhodes scholar that Axe is he goes after Perfect and gets beaten up by Andre for his trouble. Number five is the best possible advertisement for murdering something I’ve ever seen: Ronnie Garvin.

He is easily the most worthless wrestler this side of the Junkyard dog in wrestling history. How in the world did they ever decide to put him over RIC FLAIR for the world title? I just do not get that and never will. Everyone goes after Andre but he just sits on Axe, literally. Greg Valentine is in at six, hopefully willing to use a hammer to crush the cockroach known as Garvin.

We have four against one here with literally everyone that’s been in the match so far attacking Andre. Gorilla calls everyone that’s beating on Andre a star. That’s just amusing. ANDRE GETS RID OF GARVIN!!! I officially love this man. Get him a cow and a vineyard of wine right now!

Jake Roberts is seventh to a huge pop. He was probably the second third biggest face at the time as Warrior wasn’t quite there yet and Hogan and Savage were untouchable. Andre just chokes the life out of Jake in the corner which is sweet. That’s what I love about Andre: after being quadruple teamed he just grabs someone and chokes them. There’s something completely awesome about that.

He beats anyone that tries to stop him from beating on Jake. That’s just sweet. He’s protecting Jake so he can have the honor of hurting him. Ron Bass is here now as we get closer to reaching our jobber quota. Just after Bass comes in Andre throws Jake out. Bass is freshly bald thanks to a bad comedy angle with Beefcake. Andre is the white elephant in there at the moment as it’s really just about trying to get him out with various incredibly short term alliances.

That right there is why there needs to be at least one giant in every battle royal. They offer the main source of a story in one of these, because traditionally these matches are void of any kind of a story because it’s a complete free for all, which is fine because that’s the point.

Having someone like Andre in there for about fifteen to twenty minutes gives you a way to have something running through a large part of the match and hold it together, which is the main weakness of all battle royals not known as the Royal Rumble. The next guy in is HBK, who at this time is next to nothing. Perfect throws Axe out.

Shawn and Perfect go at it in what would eventually be one of the most overhyped feuds in wrestling history as the build was awesome but the match kind of sucked, which to be fair was what likely was inevitable. Perfect shows off his brains early by staying in after going over the top. Andre keeps choking people as that was the essence of his offense around this time. I really miss the old school stone looking Rumble logo. The thing was just cool looking.

Jesse says if he were in there he’d go to a neutral corner. Gorilla says if Jesse were in there he’d be out of there. And people wonder why Monsoon got some strange looks at times. After about a minute and a half of waiting, Butch of the Bushwackers gets us into double digits. As he’s coming to the ring, Jake runs back out with Damien and Andre eliminates himself. That’s a smart way to keep the feud hot, keep Andre looking credible and get rid of him to keep the match going.

The five jobbers lumber around the ring for a bit because there’s no big name in there for them to do anything with, which is the issue with a lot of these things. The timing is getting shorter and shorter here as Honky comes in at 11. Honky had recently lost the IC belt and was in desperate need of a reason to keep his job. He was worthless without the title so until they put him in Rhythm and Blues there was little for him to do.

Of the six guys in there, Shawn is the only face according to Gorilla in some slightly different words. Oh Butch is there too. Yep, Shawn is the only face in there worth anything. Tito balances things out a bit at 12 to a solid pop. I don’t get why he never got another big push. He was still great in the ring and was getting big reactions, but of course he was made a jobber to the stars for guys like Barbarian and Warlord.

Gorilla and Jesse discuss some theory about what is considered a good number as not a lot is going on at the moment. To be fair though the crowd is staying hot so there we are. Bad News comes in at 13 as he should have been a far bigger star than he was. Brown vs. Hogan could have been awesome if they had some guts and did it right. Honky is eliminated pretty fast to a decent pop. That’s a good sign if nothing else: he’s still getting reactions.

This has really slowed down a lot and we need some big names to come in and clear out some of these jobbers. Naturally the next guy in is Marty Jannetty, so if nothing else we have a tag team in there now. A double dropkick that was NOT stolen from the Rock N Roll Express (really, we promise we’ve never heard of those guys that we stole half our name from. Honest) takes out Bass to get us back down to seven people. I think Tito’s knee is hurt.

Thankfully Savage, the WWF Champion and on the brink of a heel turn for the ages, comes in to get the crowd WAY into this. He freaking mugs Bad News who he was having a short but very intense feud with. Arn Anderson comes out next as Savage knocks out Valentine. In the epitome of an IWC wet dream team, Anderson and Savage team up to eliminate Shawn. Dang that was just flat out odd to type. Tully Blanchard is in at 17 as this is slowing down again.

The Brainbusters beat the tar out of Jannetty and prove why they’re awesome. They dump him and heeeeeeere’s Hulk at possibly his lowest number ever: 18. I would have loved to have this be a legit draw and see him get like 4. Let’s see, how many people does Hogan get rid of to make him look like Superman. Perfect is the first victim as Hogan saves his handshake buddy Savage from him. He beats up the Brainbusters but doesn’t eliminate them, which allows them to get rid of Tito.

Since it’s gotten a bit crazy, for a recap we have Butch, Hogan, Anderson, Savage, Brown and Blanchard in at the moment. Amazingly, Butch has been in there about fifteen minutes which has to be his biggest accomplishment in the WWF. That’s actually quite surprising. At 19 we have the other Marching Moron who licked me at a house show once. Brown puts out Butch to keep us at six guys.

Anderson beats on Hogan which makes me flash back to Nitro just before the NWO showed up. Anderson beat him two weeks straight on Nitro which was a series I always liked. It gave Arn the spotlight that he never really got and definitely was qualified to have. In at 20 is the Hall of Famer Koko B. Ware. That just flat out doesn’t work no matter how many times you write it. How in the world is that thing in the HOF but Savage isn’t?

I don’t care how many times he had Stephanie, enshrine him already! Hogan dumps Koko to a pop. Even the fans didn’t like him. There goes Luke and Hogan’s total is at I think three. With three clotheslines inside of 30 seconds he adds both Brainbusters and the Warlord who sets the shortness record at 2 seconds. He stepped in and got a running clothesline to put him out.

To get the record to eight, Hogan runs over and puts out Brown and Savage, the later being by mistake. This would be a major point in the heel turn in about two weeks. Savage is TICKED! Liz comes down to try to straighten things out as Savage offers the handshake to fix things for now. Savage and Liz leave as Boss Man gets in.

He’s about 100lbs heavier than his traditional weight. This began another Rumble tradition of the one on one showdown. These two had been the big feud for a good while and the showdown hadn’t really come yet so this was a pretty big deal. Not surprisingly Boss Man takes over and Gorilla defends Hogan with the somewhat legitimate argument that Boss Man is fresh.

Hogan takes a decent piledriver and eventually gets back to even as the buzzer rings about three and a half minutes after Boss Man came out. And in a SHOCKING, yes SHOCKING I say, turn of events, it’s Boss Man’s partner Akeem. Now here’s something amusing to me where the bias towards the main event is as evident as ever.

Gorilla starts whining and complaining about how DiBiase must have had something to do with this because there’s no way that tag partners could have consecutive numbers and wind up in this position against Hogan. He’s completely backwards there. First of all, this is the third time in this Rumble where partners have come in back to back (Rockers and Brainbusters, which more or less gives away that this isn’t a random draw).

On top of that, how could DiBiase have known that Hogan would have been in there at this moment all by himself? If nothing else, this would prove that DiBiase had nothing to do with it as there is no reason for him to assume that Hogan would have A, been in there already when the Twin Towers came in, and B, that Hogan would be alone.

In order to do that, DiBiase would have had to find out what Hogan’s number was, and the only ways he could have done that would be to find out Hogan’s number directly from Hulk which is unlikely or to have found out all 29 other spots AND managed to spread enough deals around to make sure that Akeem and Boss Man had consecutive numbers after Hogan.

I’m supposed to believe that he managed to pull all this off in less than two hours with the help of just Virgil? Give us some credit there Gorilla. Granted I don’t think he put that much thought into what he said, but that’s the point of these reviews: to break down things like that and show how stupid some stories can be. In a quite anticlimactic moment, Hogan is hit with a double splash and thrown out. Really, that’s all there is to it.

That just came out of nowhere and all of a sudden the fact of how stupid that may have been kicks in. Tell me oh great and mighty Vince: why should I care about the rest of the match? Your top faces are all gone now with about ten entries to go. This wasn’t smart booking at all as they backed themselves into a corner for what is likely going to be a weak finish. Hogan of course pulls Boss Man to the floor and beats on him as Beefcake comes out. It’s a big tag team brawl minus the tagging.

Hogan says he’s going back in and the referees finally do their jobs and keep him from doing so. Hogan pulls Boss Man out AGAIN because this is all about him again, despite him not being world champion or even in the title picture. He and Boss Man fight to the back and they’re going to say Boss Man is out because Hogan pulled him over the ropes. In at 25 we have someone that might even be less useful than Garvin in the Red Rooster.

I finally got the joke/idea behind the name of his finisher the Five Arm. It’s one better than the forearm. Get it? That lowered my IQ a good bit. The announcers try to figure out who the final five guys will be and naturally they know them inside of 4 seconds. The two faces do the generic beating on the heel because that’s Rumble Theory 101. Gorilla actually agrees that Hogan cheated. I never thought I’d hear that.

Barbarian is in next to make what should be a completely one sided match. Barbarian, the genius that he is, beats up the faces and then goes after Akeem on his own. I love idiotic heels. Despite this being 1989, Big John Studd is somehow still a relic here. He goes straight for Akeem in what would become a running theme for the end of this match which I’ll get to in a minute. John is a face here on one last hurrah I guess you would call it.

Basically John keeps throwing people out of his way so it’s just him and Akeem, which can be translated into the guy that he can do the least with while still looking like he’s doing something. Hercules comes in at 28. Just like I thought it would, this has REALLY slowed down since Hogan left and it just doesn’t feel right at all. The next to last entrant is Rick Martel, the returned face who is just about to become a heel and a model.

The final guy is DiBiase to few people’s shock. If he was supposed to be the big heel, two things: one, he should win, and two he should go on to something big after this. At Mania 5 he had a throwaway match with Brutus. Studd is just a complete waste of time out there as he hasn’t actually beaten on anyone other than Akeem. The final eight, all in the ring, are DiBiase, Akeem, Studd, Martel, Red Rooster, Beefcake, Hercules and Barbarian. What a motley crew that is.

Rooster is finally gone and we’re at seven. Studd finally fights someone else in the Barbarian. I don’t believe it. DiBiase and Barbarian put out Beefcake and Hercules to bring us down to DiBiase, Barbarian, Studd, Akeem and Martel. Martel puts out Barbarian and then gets knocked out maybe four seconds later to get us down to three.

The heels double team Studd as I can’t wait for this to end. Akeem is put out after a mistake and we’re down to Studd and DiBiase. He offers money and Studd isn’t interested. After a few power moves, Studd causally throws DiBiase over for the most lackluster ending in the history of the Rumble. Virgil comes in and gets beaten up as well. Wow that was dumb.

Rating: C+. This is the first of its kind in a way so you have to take it with a grain of salt. They didn’t know what they were doing with the thirty man formula, but I just don’t get the point in having Studd win it. I suppose the issue was that they didn’t think it was a big deal yet so they gave it to a random guy like they did last year. That’s the only thing I can think of at least.

The match really suffers at the end though because once Hogan is gone, there’s just no drama or anything at all. Studd winning was almost obvious but not quite. Also, Akeem has been in the final three in both of the first two Rumbles. How insane is that? This was a big improvement over last year, but they still had a lot of bugs to work out. Not bad, but it would be massively improved in the coming years.

In the locker room, Savage goes on a rather long rant about how it was a misunderstanding, but you can see the heel just dying to get out. Liz says that it wasn’t a fight or anything like that. The Mania main event was coming and would be obvious today, but back then it was built up so well that it was shocking.

Gorilla and Jesse say some basic stuff before we get a highlight package to end it.

Overall Rating: C-. Average. That’s the only way to put this. There’s nothing at all here that is going to be considered great by any means, but nothing at all is really all that bad. You’re not going to see anything that rivals Steamboat vs. Savage but there’s nothing here that wouldn’t hold your attention for the most part. This is where the Rumble is still being fleshed out but you can see the elements there that made it such a great concept for a show.

It’s not great and it’s not bad, but a lot of work was needed. For once though you could clearly tell that they had the right idea though and things would be much better next year where they would really get it right. I’d say this show is worth seeing once maybe, but you won’t be missing anything if you don’t see it. If you catch it and have some time to kill you won’t think it was a waste of time but you won’t be thrilled either. Not bad, but nothing great at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

NXT UK
Date: December 26, 2019
Hosts: Nigel McGuinness, Tom Phillips

It’s the end of the year and that means we get to look back at some of the better things to go down in 2019. I wouldn’t have believed it when the year started but NXT UK has become one of the better wrestling shows on television and they could have some great offerings on a show like this. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

The hosts welcome us to the show and preview Takeover: Blackpool II.

From Takeover: Blackpool.

Women’s Title: Toni Storm vs. Rhea Ripley

Ripley is defending. Storm goes after her to start and starts firing off the forearms until a faceplant cuts her off. That’s fine with Storm who hammers away even more, setting up a suicide dive onto a bailing Ripley. They don’t head inside just yet though and Ripley kicks her back first into the barricade. Back in and Ripley stomps away as the loud fans continue to be split.

The bodyscissors stays on the weakened ribs and a delayed vertical suplex gets two. A pair of legdrops gives the champ two but the trash talking lets Storm headbutt her for a double knockdown. The slugout goes to Storm and she rolls some German suplexes but Storm Zero is countered. So is Riptide and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence for two each.

Ripley gets the standing Texas Cloverleaf but gets reversed into the hip attack in the corner. Storm gets frustrated at the kickout and gets caught with Riptide for two, giving us Ripley’s great stunned face. A headbutt lets Storm Zero connect for two and they’re both down again. Storm slugs away with forearms and another Storm Zero gives her the pin and the title at 14:49.

Rating: B-. Kind of a flat and out of nowhere finish as they didn’t really build off the near fall from the first Storm Zero. Storm winning the title so soon after Ripley won it for the first time is a bit of a surprise but you can’t go wrong with either of them as the champion. Tyler Bate winning the inaugural title and dropping it to Dunne has gone just fine and Storm is going to be perfectly fine with the title, as is Ripley without it.

Video on Toni Storm.

Video on Kay Lee Ray.

From Takeover: Cardiff.

Women’s Title: Kay Lee Ray vs. Toni Storm

Toni is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Ray bails straight to the floor so Storm dives onto her, setting up a big forearm to the face back inside. Ray knocks her right back down though and we hit a seated abdominal stretch. Toni goes off with shots to the face and a superkick to put Ray down. A running clothesline can’t set up Storm Zero so its’ a Code Red for two instead.

Now Storm Zero connects for two so Ray is right back with her own superkick. The Gory Bomb gives Ray her own two so they head up top. Neither can hit a super version of their finisher so Toni grabs a release German suplex for two more. Storm gets sent outside so Ray hits a top rope flip dive for a nasty landing, sending the referee down to check on them. Back in and the Gory Bomb onto the top rope sets up a regular Gory Bomb to give Ray the title at 9:58.

Rating: C. This felt sloppy and rushed, the latter of which is probably true due to it not getting that much time. Storm didn’t have a lot of life or fire here and it was causing some issues. Ray winning is a good thing as Storm had held the thing long enough but I was hoping it was in a better, or at least bigger feeling, match.

Video on Piper Niven.

Video on Travis Banks vs. Jordan Devlin.

We see the end of the Grizzled Young Veterans becoming the inaugural Tag Team Champions.

From Takeover: Cardiff.

Tag Team Titles: Flash Morgan Webster/Mark Andrews vs. Gallus vs. Grizzled Young Veterans

The Veterans (Zack Gibson and James Drake) are defending and it’s Andrews sunset flipping Gibson for two to start. Drake comes in for a double hiptoss into a standing moonsault/standing flip dive from Andrews and Webster. We settle down to Webster not being able to sunset flip Wolfgang so it’s a six man staredown. The champs are knocked to the floor and a hurricanrana/moonsault takes down Gibson and Coffey.

Back in and a moonsault press gets two on Gibson as the champs are in trouble. He’s right back up with a backbreaker on Webster on the floor with Drake slingshotting down into a forearm to Webster’s chest. Back in again and everything breaks down again with Andrews cleaning house, only to get jumped by Gallus. That means stereo flip dives from the Welsh guys to both other teams and the fans are rather pleased.

Back in and Andrews’ assisted 450 gets two on Gibson, only to have Gallus come back in to start cleaning house. A catapult into a Samoan drop gets two on Andrews but it’s a reverse hurricanrana/running knee strike (cool) for two on Wolfgang. Andrews is back up with a shooting star to take out Gallus and Gibson. As the fans again ask about Vince’s viewing habits, it’s Stundog Millionaire into a Swanton from Webster for two on Gibson. Helter Skelter into the 450 gets two on Andrews, with the crowd literally getting to their feet on the kickout.

The champs and the Welsh guys are all knocked down but it’s Gallus coming back in to clean house. Coffey hits his own big dive to take everyone out, followed by the enziguri into the powerslam for a delayed two on Andrews. Everyone gets back in and Gallus gets beaten down until Webster is catapulted into a Canadian Destroyer on Coffey. Gibson takes Wolfgang to the floor for an electric chair, with Drake adding the suicide clothesline for a Doomsday Device.

That means the big showdown between the champs and Andrews/Morgan with the Welsh guys getting the better of it. Webster hits a 630 on Drake with Gibson making the save. Andrews tries to dive on him but gets hit in the throat on the way down. Back in and Ticket to Mayhem hits Webster but Drake goes to deal with Gallus. That lets Andrews come in with Fall to Pieces to Gibson to give Webster the pin and the titles at 20:10.

Rating: B. This was WAY too long and felt like it just kept going and going. That being said, there were some very good near falls and some awesome near falls before the perfectly done feel good moment at the end. If you cut off five minutes, it’s even better, but the length held it back a lot. Andrews and Webster winning is completely the right call though and it felt like a special moment.

Video on Dave Mastiff.

Video on Dave Mastiff vs. Jordan Devlin in their Falls Count Anywhere match.

Devlin promises a bigger 2020 because he’s the MVP of 2019.

The announcers talk about Devlin.

Video on Ilja Dragunov vs. Cesaro.

We look at some of the rising stars.

From October 24.

Noam Dar vs. Trent Seven

They’ve been annoying each other for weeks. Dar’s towel says RIP STRONG STYLE. Dar jumps him on the floor during Seven’s long entrance and uses the towel to tie Seven to the post. That means a dropkick to drive the arm into the post as we’re still waiting on the opening bell. Seven gets in and insists that he can go so Dar charges at him, right into a hard lariat for two. A legdrop gives Seven two but Dar slips out of a Burning Hammer and snaps Seven’s bad arm across the top rope.

The arm is fine enough to snap off a Rock Bottom out of the corner but Dar kicks him off the top. The crash makes Seven scream in pain and a fisherman’s suplex gives Dar two. A snapmare into the ropes gives Dar two and it’s time to start stomping at the leg. With the fans chanting something about Alicia Fox, Dar grabs something like an STF with a bend of the fingers and a shout about how much he loves Pete Dunne.

Back up and Seven blocks a Tyler Driver 97 but gets his leg kicked out again. Something close to a snap dragon suplex sends Dar outside for a change and Seven nails the suicide dive. The spinning moonsault misses though (partially due to the knee being banged up) but Seven’s Michinoku Driver gets two instead. Dar is right back with the ankle lock, sending Seven rolling over to the rope.

They fight to the apron with Seven getting in a DDT to drop Dar on his head. That’s only good for two as well so Seven dedicates this one to Tyler, setting up the Seven Star Lariat for two more. Seven is fired up but Dar kicks the knee out and hits a top rope double stomp to the leg.

The ankle lock with the grapevine goes on so Seven has to flail a lot, eventually making it over to the rope. Dar grabs the towel before kicking Seven in the head, ala Pete Dunne, for two more. The trash talk goes on so Seven bends the finger back, gets in the punch to the face and hits the Birminghammer (if that’s not what Tom said, it should be) for the pin at 13:10.

Rating: B. Yeah that worked. This is the kind of match that Seven hasn’t had very often so giving him the fighting from behind win, which also tying in the stuff with the rest of British Strong Style, worked very well. Dar is very easy to dislike and it’s even better watching Seven literally hit him in the face and drop him on his head for the win. This felt like a definitive win and a statement win for Trent, which was exactly what he needed to do.

Video on Pete Dunne vs. Walter.

Video on Tyler Bate vs. Walter. That’s still my Match of the Year.

Joe Coffey is ready to take the title from Walter at Takeover.

One more Blackpool rundown wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. This is the kind of show that works very well in this spot. Takeover is coming up soon and WWE needs to promote it as well as they can. Giving us a look at the show and looking at everything else while saying “here’s what you can expect” is a smart move and I liked this show rather well. Good stuff here from a very good promotion.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6