You don’t see many of these but it’s cool that it still takes place.
Andrade beat Rey Mysterio to win the US Title. This is a surprise but not completely out of the blue as it’s the biggest house show of the year and Rey should be banged up after Monday’s beatdown. I can go for this and you can all but guarantee a rematch either on Raw or at the Royal Rumble.
Thoughts?
IMG Credit: WWE
Royal Rumble 1988
Date: January 24, 1988
Location: Copps Coliseum, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 18,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura
So as I said, this is the first of the Rumbles and it aired on live TV instead of on Pay Per View. The battle royal tonight is twenty men instead of thirty and we also have three other matches on the card on top of that. We also get a bench press demonstration from Dino Bravo (just go with it) and the contract signing for Hogan vs. Andre II at the first live Main Event which would happen in twelve days. In a KB related story, I would happen in about ten days. Let’s get to it.
Vince does the intro over what I thought was Rude’s music. Oh it was Rude’s music. No wonder they sounded alike.
Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat
This should work well with a career face vs. a career heel. That’s another thing you never get anymore: matches for the sake of having a match. You know what? It could work today too. For the sake of simplicity, Rick will only be used for Rude and Ricky will only be used for Steamboat. Rude pounds away to start but Steamboat fires off chops in retaliation. Rude throws him over the top because he’s still new at this WWF thing. Steamboat skins the cat back in and throws Rude to the floor.
Steamboat does Rude’s pose and Rude complains of a pull of the tights. Back in and Rude wants a test of strength and Dragon, ever the slow one, accepts. Down goes Ricky but he finally hits a knee to the hand to break the grip, followed by a wicked spin out to take Rude to the mat. Steamboat cranks on the arm and does so for a good while. The crowd is pretty much quiet here, so we can hear the individual shouts from fans which give Vince and Jesse something to talk about.
Rude escapes but Steamboat chops him right back down and armdrags him down as only Ricky can do. An elbow puts Ricky down for a bit and Rick pounds away some more. Steamboat comes back with chops and another armdrag into an armbar. More slugging out occurs with chops vs. punches dominating the action. In something you don’t often see, Steamboat seems to botch a spot, resulting in him backing into a knee from Rude and falling (intentionally) to the floor.
Rick sends Steamboat back first into the apron and slams him down as Steamboat is in trouble. There’s a camel clutch by Rude as he finally has a body part to work on. Steamboat taps but that wouldn’t mean anything else for about six years. The referee checks the arm and they make a BIG error as Ricky lets his arm fall three times before stopping it on the fourth drop. Jesse FREAKS as only he can but the match just keeps going. Gotta love that live TV thing right?
Anyway Steamboat stands up and drops Rude on his back to put both guys down. It’s Steamboat up first but a splash hits knees. Back to the chinlock but Ricky makes the ropes and sends Rude into the buckle ten times. A chop to the face gets two and we hit the mat for some technical stuff and a pinfall reversal sequence. By that I mean about five pin attempts each and the crowd is waking up now. Ricky suplexes Rude down but Rude pulls the referee in the way of the cross body. Rude puts on the over the shoulder backbreaker (his move before the Rude Awakening) but it’s a DQ win for Steamboat.
Rating: C. The main issue here was the length. This runs about eighteen minutes and a lame ending didn’t help things either. At least you had two talented guys in there to make the match work a bit better. Still though, cut about five minutes off of this one and it’s WAY better all of a sudden. Steamboat would be gone in just a few months.
It’s time for the bench press lift record attempt. Dino Bravo is doing the lifting (in wrestling gear) and Jesse is spotting. Frenchy Martin, Dino’s manager, is here too. Dino presses 415 to start but first demands complete and utter silence. The 415lbs are easily lifted ten times. We’re going for over 700 by the end so this may take awhile. Next up is 505, which I believe is what Yokozuna weighed when he debuted. That one only goes up eight times as we’re at six minutes spent on this so far.
This time it’s going to be 555. Great this is going to take even more time now. Dino stops to yell at the fans a bit first and now we’re going to the lifting. This one gets about seven reps as this continues to take time. Now it’s 595. They keep talking about a world record, even though there’s no official there to confirm this is happening or anything like that. Wait let’s yell at the fans some more before he lifts it three times. We’re at ten minutes now.
Jesse yells at McMahon a bit and Bravo takes forever to do 655. Gene doing the used car salesman selling of this segment helps a bit due to how over the top and ridiculous it is. Now they go for 715, but the record would be unofficial because the bar will have to be weighed later. We stop to yell at the fans of course first though and storms off. As Bravo goes to finish, Ventura reaches down and pulls the bar up. Yep, that’s the actual payoff of over fifteen minutes of this nonsense.
Women’s Tag Titles: Jumping Bomb Angels vs. Glamour Girls
These are real titles (held by the Glamour Girls at this point) which have perhaps the most confusing history ever, as the belts were literally bought and sold between two wrestling companies. Anyway, they’re here now and the Angels (Tateno and Yamazaki) beat the Glamour Girls (Judy Martin and Lelani Kai) in the finals of the Survivor Series match which basically set this up. This is also 2/3 falls.
I’m not entirely sure which is which on both teams but Vince doesn’t even know the names of the Angels at all until someone tells him later on. The Angels immediately charge at the Girls and hit stereo dropkicks to take over. For those of you unfamiliar with the Angels, basically imagine the Hardys before they became poster children for what drugs can do to you but with long hair and wearing one piece female swimsuits.
We start with Kai vs. Yamazaki (the one in pink. Got it) and a knee to the back from Martin gives the Girls control. Yamazaki Matrixes out of a cover and rolls Kai up for two. Off to Tateno for a kind of suplex out of a piledriver position for one. Jesse asks Vince the names of the Bomb Angels and Vince has NO idea. He suggests calling them pink and red. Yamazaki tries a cross body but it literally bounces off the shall we say rotund Martin.
Off to Kai again so Yamazaki knees her down before bring Tateno back in. Both Angels fire off forearms to take Kai down and there’s an Octopus Hold (a freaky kind of abdominal stretch from Japan) from Tateno. The Angels put on stereo figure fours before it gets down to just Tateno on Kai. There’s a legdrop between the legs ala Jeff Hardy but instead Tateno spreads her own legs to spread Kai’s into the splits as well.
Yamazaki hooks something like a Sharpshooter while being off to the side of Kai. That’s incredibly painful looking and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it otherwise. The Angels get in a tug of war over Kai with Martin losing the war. Martin makes a tag but it doesn’t count because her feet weren’t on the apron. There’s a rule you never see enforced. Not that it matters as there’s the regular tag anyway. Martin comes in and beats on Tateno a bit before hitting a falling backwards facedrop out of a powerbomb position for the first fall. Big Show called that the Alley Oop if it wasn’t clear.
Martin pounds on Tateno after the break but Tateno bridges out in the Matrix move from the mat. Martin misses a splash and there’s Yamazaki again. A middle rope clothesline puts Martin down for two as Vince knows the Angels’ names now. The Angels cause some heel miscommunication but Martin loads up the same move that won her the first fall. In a classic example of PSYCHOLOGY, Tateno rolls through it into a sunset flip for the second fall this time. See? She LEARNED over the course of the match. That shows thinking, which is psychology! It’s not that hard! She slipped a bit on the flip but I’ll forgive it this time.
The third fall begins with a double clothesline from the Angels for two on Kai but Lelani pounds away on her in retaliation. Off to Martin who blocks a fisherman’s suplex and escapes a backslide out of the corner. A slingshot sends Yamazaki into the wrong corner and double teaming gets two on her.
Off to Tateno who is thrown around even more than Yamazaki was. Tateno comes back with a pair of release atomic drops minus the knees and it’s off to Yamazaki for a top rope knee for two. A double underhook suplex gets two on Kai but a senton backsplash misses for Tateno. With Kai trying to get in, the Angels hit stereo missile dropkicks on Martin for the pin and the titles.
Rating: B. For the late 80s and women’s wrestling, this was off the charts. The Angels are every bit as good as any male cruiserweight not named Mysterio you’ll ever see and when they’re against people like the Girls, their skills are shown off even better. This was beyond state of the art for this time period and is still amazing today. Check these chicks out and you won’t be disappointed.
We recap Hogan vs. Andre at Wrestlemania by getting the opening minute or so which saw Hogan trying the slam and Andre getting a “controversial” two count. Andre wants a rematch and has been sold to DiBiase, who wants to buy the world title. Andre showed how evil he was by attacking Hogan on SNME and easily choking him down, setting up the rematch in about two weeks and a match which drew an INSANE 15 rating on LIVE national TV on NBC. Today Vince would lose his mind at a 5 on cable, so this was unthinkable back then.
Oh and now we get the contract signing between Andre and Hogan on tonight’s show for the match on February 5 in Indianapolis. DiBiase is here too as Jesse points out how stupid the fans are for cheering for a song called Real American here in Canada. Even Jack Tunney is here. For those of you unfamiliar, picture Johnny Ace if he wasn’t dripping with charisma.
Gene actually calls Andre Mr. Roussimoff here, which you NEVER hear on WWF TV. Andre won’t sit down and then he won’t sign. Hogan signs but Andre wants to read the whole thing first. One thing to note: Gene has probably said the date of the match about ten times. It’s so simple yet so effective. Andre signs and beats up Hogan for fun to end this after a LONG time.
Jesse and Vince talk about the Rumble and say that if you go over the top, it doesn’t matter where your feet touch because you’re out. I’m assuming that means you have to hit the floor but it’s not exactly clear.
Royal Rumble
Okerlund explains the rules and the intervals are every two minutes here. If you don’t know the Rumble rules, you have no business reading this. It’s a battle royal, people come in every two minutes, there are 20 people in it (this year only) last man standing wins. #1 is Bret Hart and #2 is Tito Santana, and wouldn’t you know it their tag teams are feuding right now. I mean what are the odds?
They slug it out to start with no one having any kind of advantage. Bret finally takes him down and heads towards the rope as Butch Reed comes in at #3. This is a different kind of Rumble as heels don’t fight heels and faces don’t fight faces yet. They just kind of work together as you would expect them to. Tito is almost thrown out by Reed but he escapes and beats on both heels for a bit.
It’s Neidhart in at #4 as not a ton is happening so far in this match. This leaves Santana more or less down 3-1 and everyone pounds away on him. The clock is pretty lenient so far as there’s no way they’re going two minutes between each of these entrants. We get some slow triple teaming and after a choke on the ropes, here’s Jake Roberts in at #5 to quickly toss out Reed. We’ve got Roberts/Santana vs. the Hart Foundation which is quite the tag match when you think about it.
The Harts get beaten down and then thrown into each other but Neidhart breaks up the DDT. Bret piledrives Santana down and Harley Race is in at #6. The crowd is staying way into this which is a good sign for the future. Things kind of slow down a bit as the faces and heels beat on each other for a little while. Here’s Jim Brunzell at #7 to make it a six man tag for all intents and purposes.
Roberts goes EVIL by pulling on Neidhart’s beard. Only Reed has been eliminated so far. The good guys are in control at the moment with Race almost being thrown out. Here’s Sam Houston, Jake’s real life half brother, coming in at #8 to beat on everyone in sight. Well every heel at least. The Harts finally get together and throw out Santana to get us down to six people in the ring.
After about 90 seconds, here’s Danny Davis at #9. To be fair he’s barely a jobber so it’s not like this is going to give the heels any significant advantage. Oh wait he’s fighting Sam Houston so yeah, the heels are in control. Race gets caught in the ropes and Jake keeps knocking him back and forth in a funny bit. Davis tries to kick Jake and gets his leg caught, followed by a suplex from Roberts.
Danny escapes a DDT as we get Boris Zhukov at #10, maybe 80 seconds after Davis came in. Things continue to go slow as we’re trying to build up to a regular battle royal. Race goes after Boris in the first instance of heel vs. heel in this match. Race and Hart double team Brunzell for a bit as this continues to be slow. Don Muraco comes out as #11 but Nikolai Volkoff follows him out, apparently thinking he’s #11. Now there’s a story you don’t see that often but which could work.
Brunzell puts out Zhukov and apparently Nikolai is going to be #12 in a few moments. After way too long of nothing happening, Nikolai is officially #12. Brunzell is put to the apron but gets back in just as Race is eliminated by Muraco. We’ve got eight in there at the moment, which would be Hart, Neidhart, Roberts, Brunzell, Houston, Davis, Muraco and Volkoff. Race won’t leave ringside so as Duggan comes out at #13, he beats Race up on the way. This would lead to one of those so ridiculous it’s hilarious moments at the Slammys.
Duggan goes right after Neidhart because HE wants to be the Jim in this match. The place is way into him too so the crowd reaction is good. After maybe a minute here’s Ron Bass at #14. Volkoff dumps Brunzell as Jake and Neidhart collide. The clock gets even shorter as B. Brian Blair is #15. There are way too many people in the ring now. Everyone fights everyone as Hillbilly Jim is #16, and the fourth person in this match named Jim. He also dumps out Jim Neidhart to empty the ring a tiny bit.
Dino Bravo is #17 as Bass dumps Houston. Back to slow motion mode with everyone pounding on people near the ropes without really doing much. Ultimate Warrior (doesn’t mean anything yet) is #18 and Bret is FINALLY put out by Don Muraco. I timed this next one, and the One Man Gang comes out at #19, 53 seconds after Warrior. They’re not even trying here. Gang immediately pounds on Roberts so Warrior jumps on the big man’s back. This is WAY before he would have been able to slam him anyway.
Gang dumps Blair and Roberts in about ten seconds, which is the best thing that could happen in this match. The Junkyard Dog is #20, giving us a final group of Davis, Volkoff, Muraco, Bass, Hillbilly Jim, Dino Bravo, Ultimate Warrior, Gang, Duggan and Dog. Hillbilly and Gang hammer on each other as Duggan puts Volkoff out. Gang tosses Hillbilly as Bravo and Davis double team Duggan. This ends badly for Davis as Duggan dumps him to a BIG pop.
Bravo and Gang dump the Warrior as we’re down to six pretty quickly. Bass jumps the Dog and tosses him to get us down to five. Muraco dumps Bass and we have a final four of Muraco, Gang, Duggan and Bravo. Gang splashes Duggan in the corner, leaving Muraco to have to fight off both guys. He even takes Frenchy Martin down with a dropkick, only to have Gang clothesline him out to get us down to three.
Jim gets double teamed for awhile and Bravo drops an elbow on him. The same clothesline sequence the heels tried earlier backfires and Bravo gets clotheslined out. Duggan pounds on Gang in a Mid-South reunion but a single shot from Gang takes him down. Gang beats on him next to the ropes, so Duggan low bridges him to win the first Royal Rumble.
Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where the words “well, they tried” come to mind. That’s the best way to put this match: they didn’t really know what they were doing yet, but they tried. The lack of star power hurt this one as only Duggan and maybe Dog were big names here. It wouldn’t be until next year when the star power came into this and it became a main event thing. Still though, it’s certainly not a bad match and they would get better as time went on.
We recap (see? It even happened back then) the contract signing from earlier tonight.
Hogan is in the arena (in jeans, which is a weird image for some reason) and says that he wants Andre. Standard hype interview for a big match but it’s Hogan in the late 80s so you know it’s awesome.
Islanders vs. Young Stallions
Another 2/3 falls match here just to fill in the final part of the show. The Islanders have recently kidnapped Matilda and are recently back off suspension for returning the dog. Tama and Powers (It’s Haku/Tama vs. Jim Powers/Paul Roma) start things off and no one can get a real advantage in the early going. The Stallions beat on Tama a bit, with shots to the head for some reason, before it’s Haku in off the tag.
A cross body gets two for Roma and the Stallions work on the arm for awhile. Off to Tama who gets in like one shot before we cut to a camera angle from over the announcers shoulders. That’s a new one. Powers gets caught by a double headbutt and Haku hammers away on him some more. This continues to go nowhere so I think out of boredom it’s off to Roma vs. Tama.
Roma dropkicks Tama down but Haku low bridges Roma, sending him to the floor and injuring the knee. That’s good enough for a countout for the first fall and the Stallions take Roma to the dressing room to get his knee looked at. In other words, we need a reason to show the contract signing again and let Andre talk a bit. Just like Hogan, Andre doesn’t have much to say but it hypes up the Main Event.
Back to the match after the promo, the recap and a pair of breaks and it’s basically Powers in a handicap match now. You can see big gaps of seats where fans have left. For this one, I can’t say I blame them. Powers dropkicks him down and we hear about Giant-A-Mania from Jesse. Off to Tama who pounds away even more and kicks out of a small package at two. Tama’s jumping back elbow takes Powers down and it’s a little Samoan trash talk for good measure. Haku’s dropkick gets two and there’s a gutwrench suplex for two more.
It’s off to an abdominal stretch but Powers finally hiptosses out of it to get a breather. Haku misses a splash and things slow down again, but there’s no one for Powers to tag because of Roma’s knee injury. Roma finally tags himself in and Haku casually kicks the leg out to take over. Jesse wishes that was Vince’s knee because that’s the kind of guy he is. Tama puts on a half crab and the referee stops it.
Rating: D. This match is a victim of its spot on the card. The problem here is that everything else is done and this was the textbook definition of filler. It’s hard to care about something like this when there’s no story and no interest in this match, and on top of that it wasn’t even anything decent. This is one of those matches though where you can’t blame a lot of the problems on the wrestlers.
Jesse and Vince chat a bit about what we saw to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. There’s one major thing to keep in mind about this show: it was on free TV. On PPV, this would have been bad, but to be fair they had no idea what they were going for here so anything good, which a lot of stuff on here was, was a surprise. This was a decent entry into the show, but they did WAY better next year when they had an idea what they were doing. Good first effort though.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
IMG Credit: WWE
Royal Rumble 1988
Date: January 24, 1988
Location: Copps Coliseum, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 18,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura
Here we go with the first ever Rumble. This wasn’t actually on PPV but rather a special on USA, similar to Saturday Night’s Main Event in a way. The idea was invented by Pat Patterson, and that’s about all there is to say on that aspect of it. Since this was a TV special, it only has four matches on it, which to be fair is the same amount on the first Survivor Series. The Rumble here has twenty men in it, most of which are midcard guys.
There are two other things going on with this show other than the matches. First of all we have a contract signing for Hogan and Andre II, which took place two days after my birthday. Also, Dino Bravo is going to try to bench press 715lbs, which would be a world’s record. With all that said, let’s get to the first ever Royal Rumble, which certainly is a historic thing when you think about it.
Vince and Jesse talk about the show, which sounds ok at best, but that doesn’t really mean a lot.
Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat
This was a great feud in WCW in about four years, but it never took off in the WWF for some reason. Ricky, not Rick mind you, would be gone very soon. He wanted time off to be with his newborn son, but it didn’t happen so he went to WCW and had some of the best matches of all time with Ric Flair. So Ricky and Rick are fighting here before Ricky leaves to go fight Ric. I’m glad we’ve got that cleared up.
Rude just got here recently, so there’s very little known about him. I’ll never get tired of seeing Steamboat skin the cat. It just looks awesome every single time. Ventura always seemed like he had a man crush on Rude, which was just funny to me. There’s really no point to this match other than just having a match for the sake of having a match, which isn’t something I agree with but it’s fine I suppose.
You have two great wrestlers so it means the match should be good. It’s classic 80s heel vs. face stuff, so what more do you want. That being said, this is fairly boring to start. It’s fine from a technical standpoint, but it’s a bit bland. Dragon’s armdrags help that out though, as I could watch him do those all day. Granted I’d be bored out of my mind doing so, but I could do it. Steamboat is really good at being able to keep the crowd into a very standard match.
That’s a talent that very few people ever could have, and Steamboat is one of the best ever at it. I mean, he’s working on the arm of Rude, which is some of the most standard stuff you can do and he’s making it interesting looking at least. He’s doing mainly arm work and the crowd is reacting to it. That’s all you can ask for. During this first part of the match we keep hearing a woman’s voice over and over again.
It’s not something that’s supposed to be there either. Jimmy Hart never managed Rude, at least not that I can remember, and Steamboat’s wife who occasionally came to the ring with him, so I have no clue who that is. However, once a camera swings around, we see that a woman has brought a bullhorn with her, more commonly known as a megaphone. Oh this is going to be a long match isn’t it?
And now this is just getting boring. It’s going on way too long here and Steamboat just botched taking an elbow BADLY. I mean it looked horrid, which isn’t something I can ever remember saying about him. I want to hurt that woman with the megaphone. Oh look, it’s ANOTHER armbar, but the fans are cheering it to an extent. At least there’s some psychology being used and he’s adding in more stuff to the arm to switch it up a bit. That’s nice to see.
Now if only the arm plays into the finish later on, we’ll have an actual story being told instead of just most of one which is what happens far more and far too often. Rude can’t pose because of the arm, and the woman thinks it’s just SO funny. The fans really do love Steamboat. They’re cheering wildly for simple punches and chops. That’s saying a lot. Rude goes to the really bad version of a camel clutch.
It’s the kind where he just sits on Steamboat’s back and puts his hands on his face which is supposed to be effective somehow. Thankfully that lasts about ten seconds. Oh never mind it’s back on. Dang I can’t stand cock teases like that. Steamboat slaps the mat which would be considered a tap out today, but obviously this is way too early for that. Rude really wasn’t that good at this time in his career.
He’s rather young and doesn’t have a lot of stuff in his arsenal and it’s rather boring. Somehow we’re discussing Vince putting his fingers up people’s nostrils. You can tell the announcers are rather bored at this point. This match is relying on rest holds such as this chin lock far too much. Yeah they’re actually still in it. At least with Steamboat he worked on the arm which makes sense.
It takes away the Rude Awakening and while you can argue that the clutch takes away Steamboat’s movement, it’s just boring looking. Ricky (again, not Rick but Ricky) mixed up his offense and used strikes and holds on the arm to at least keep it moving. That’s a major perk if nothing else. To their credit, the crowd has stayed rather hot the whole time. They really did love Steamboat. DANG that bridge was pretty from Dragon.
They speed it up all of a sudden and now it’s good. Steamboat goes up for the cross body but Rude pulls the referee in the way of it. I’m not sure if Rude was using the Rude Awakening yet, as he gets Steamboat up in an Argentinean Body Vice, which is where you put a guy on your shoulder and pull down. Jesse says Steamboat just got a Rude Awakening, so there’s your finisher name.
Rude would be with Heenan by the time Mania rolled around and would be somewhat better. He leaves celebrating but Vince gives away the DQ ending by mistake just before it happens. Nice going BOSS. Rude is a bit angry to say the least as we go to commercial. That’s just weird to say.
Rating: C+. This was something that didn’t need nearly twenty minutes. The problem was in all the rest holds and Rude simply wasn’t ready for a seventeen minute match yet. Steamboat didn’t help things with the arm work, but to be fair Rude forgot about it maybe two minutes after he was done. The crowd was into it, but it was just barely ok. The ending sucked too.
It’s time for the bench press attempt. Ventura talks about what we’re about to see while insulting Gene at the same time. Bravo, the Canadian, gets an interesting reception. We get a promo from his manager, Frenchy Martin. It’s in French naturally so I have no clue what he said and I can’t make fun of him. Since we only have four matches, we have time for a warm up of 415lbs first. Wait, Bravo wants it to be silent.
I’ll give you two guesses as to how that goes. He does the 415 ten times as we set up another 90 to make it 505 as Frenchy talks some more. There’s no angle or comedy angle or anything like that going on here. Bravo is just lifting weights. The fans, shockingly, are booing. He speeds this set up a bit by only doing eight reps of it. Gene is despately trying to make this seem epic and is failing completely.
We’re up to 555 now, and it’s just the same thing: Bravo wants the people to be quiet, he stalls, he lifts it, and more weight is added. What’s the point of this freaking thing? Gene is trying to do like a commentary thing here and it’s dull to no end. Bravo can’t do it because there’s too much noise. Ventura waists more time by saying be quiet and Gene asks for silence. Bravo does about six reps here (they should all be red) and again asks for silence.
This is just idiotic as we’re at about ten minutes. Yes, ten minutes is being wasted on this. Were there no jobbers available for people to squash? It’s 595 this time as Bravo hates noise. Wouldn’t the time here have been better spent in like, a match for Bravo? This is obviously supposed to be used to get him over but it’s not working. I’d assume it would work better with actual wrestling, but I don’t know enough about the finer points of the game I guess.
Again, the same formula is used but this time we have another French promo. He does three reps as Gene says how awesome Bravo is. Who really thought this would be a good idea? Remember there’s no Titantron or anything, so the people can see a spotlight on something, but for the most part they can’t see a stupid thing. We’re at 655 pounds now so at least we’re close to being done.
I love also how there’s no judge or official to determine that this would be a record or anything like that also. The booing is ridiculous now so Ventura and Bravo yell at McMahon, who allegedly was just a commentator at this time so that was odd. Hey he got 655 up! We’re over seventeen minutes now as Jesse says that this is unofficial because the bar will have to be weighed later. So wait, this might not count anyway? Give me a break guys.
This is beyond moronic and has been from the start, but supposed someone hit their head and thinks this is interesting. We don’t even get to know the results until later on? WOW and you people wonder why people popped so huge for Hogan and Savage. They were the only interesting things on these shows. Again: be quiet. He lays down but gets back up once again demanding silence. Oh come on now. He’s walking away now and Martin is trying to calm him down.
Jesse asks the people if they want to see a world record. Crowd: NO! Jesse ignores this of course. They waste a minute getting Bravo calmed down and we’re hopefully at the end of this. Jesse helps him do it by grabbing the bar. He would claim to have gotten it clean with Jesse saying he only put two pounds of finger pressure in it. This went on over twenty minutes, as in longer than the opening match. If anyone can explain the mindset of Vince for doing this, I’ll get you a ham sandwich.
Women’s Tag Titles: Jumping Bomb Angels vs. Glamour Girls
This is 2/3 falls. The Women’s Tag Titles did indeed exist. Much like he did with Moolah’s Title, Vince bought them from the NWA and gave them to the Glamour Girls who allegedly won them in Egypt. I think it was billed as a double main event and shown on a split screen with Patterson winning the Intercontinental Title in Rio. It happened blast it! Anyway, the Glamour Girls are old and annoying, but the Bomb Angles are freaking AWESOME.
At Survivor Series when they destroyed the Glamour Girls, Jesse said they were like watching Savage or Steamboat or Dynamite Kid and he couldn’t be more correct. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I’m not a fan of women’s wrestling, but I’ve been looking forward to this match as I’ve never seen it, so you’ll be getting a legitimate fresh review here from me.
More or less this is just housekeeping at this point, as everyone knows the Angels are winning here. I’m not going to try to spell the Angels’ last names properly time after time, but the Glamour Girls are Judy Martin and Lelani Kai. Only the Angels get entrances. These belts were defended maybe twice or so in the six and a half years they were around and no one noticed when they were retired.
These two are like Lita vs. Moolah or something like that. For the sake of simplicity, the Angels will be named Red and Pink based on their attire. All four are wearing what would be described as one piece swimsuits for attire which aren’t flattering at all. Jesse and Vince are arguing about weightlifting and Jesse implies that Vince has never lifted one. That’s another of those moments that are ironic given what we know now.
Vince doesn’t know the names of the Angels either. OH MY GOODNESS! Vince says for lack of anything better, let’s call one Pink and one Red. I called that first Vince! I don’t care if I wouldn’t be born for another ten days. That was MY idea. That’s either awesome or scary as I’m thinking the same way Vince does. The Angels are just flat out destroying the Glamour Girls here as they look about as worthless as Vince is on commentary.
Dang man at least know the names of your talent. His excuse is he doesn’t speak Japanese. What difference does that make? If I walk into an Italian restaurant I can order spaghetti and I don’t speak Italian. It’s a word and you match it with a color. How hard is that?
Pink using the split legged move that Jeff Hardy used a lot. The Angels remind me of the Hardys actually with their continuity. In a very cool spot, both have a leg of one of the Glamour Girls and pull on her as the other Girl pulls from the other side. The Angels win and the Glamour Girl that’s standing more or less winds up doing a headbutt onto her partner. It looked cool.
The Angels are embarrassing the champions at this point as the Girls more or less can only do bare bones level stuff while the Angels, although a bit sloppy at times, are all over the place with varieties of offense that look very great. Like I said they’re not perfect, but man they’re fun to watch. They’re not boring like most of the women wrestlers around this time period. It’s like the situation in the Winter Olympics a few years ago with the French judge.
One of the teams did a very basic routine perfectly and the other team did a ridiculously hard routine nearly perfectly. As far as execution goes here, the Glamour Girls are likely better, but they’re nowhere near the level the Angels are at here. Jimmy Hart rubbing one of the Glamour Girls’ calves to get the circulation back into it is funny stuff. Oh I almost forgot: the woman with the bullhorn has had it taken away or has been told to stop using it THANK GOODNESS!
The Girls win the first fall using a fairly cool looking move. Martin sets for a powerbomb but instead shoves Red over her head. Big Show used this for awhile which he called the Alley-Oop. We take a quick commercial break between falls and when we come back we ring the bell. I like that. All of a sudden Vince knows the name of the Pink Angel. Well thanks for getting it seven minutes into the match buddy.
She goes for the same finishing move again after a big brawl but Red gets a sunset flip out of it instead to tie us up. We hit another commercial and upon returning we run down the Andre/Hogan contract signing and the Rumble very quickly before the bell rings. I’m most impressed here as the announcers actually talk about the match once the bell rings instead of hyping up the bigger stuff later on.
That’s showing the girls respect which is something you rarely see in today’s product. When the Angels are on offense, this match is interesting. When the Girls are on offense, I want a sharp object to do bad things with. Ah there now it’s interesting again. The Angels hit a double dropkick from the top to win the belts in a cool looking finish. That was nice.
On replay, Jesse is proven correct as he claims that when the Angel went for the cover she hooked the arm of Martin, raising it off the mat so there shouldn’t have been a pin. Vince says that since the shoulder blade was down it counts. I don’t know what to say to that.
Rating: B-. I was expecting to be bored out of my mind here, but they carried this quite well in my eyes. It was fairly clear that these belts were a joke, but if nothing else they gave us something that we very rarely if ever get to see in this era, with that being a fast paced and well done women’s match. This was fun. It was sloppy, but fun.
We hit the recap button on Hogan vs. Andre which I’m sure you all know. In case you’re brand new to wrestling (if you are you’ve picked a most interesting place to start), Hogan and Andre had the biggest match of all time at Wrestlemania 3 in front of 93,173 people, with Hogan successfully defending the title. At one point very early in the match though, Hogan tried to slam Andre but his back gave out and Andre landed on him.
There was a lot of controversy to the count because Hogan literally couldn’t kick out and it looked like Andre had won in 15 seconds. That’s the driving force behind this rematch. McMahon says that he thinks the third mat slap was “the referee shoving himself up to signal that it was a two.” I get that Vince is the face commentator, but THAT’S the best he can come up with? No wonder he was on the verge of bankruptcy so often.
Anyway, DiBiase came into the picture and tried to buy the belt, but Hogan wasn’t interested. Since Hogan said no, DiBiase paid Andre to take out Hogan. DiBiase was so great on the mic and in general it’s terrifying. How did he not get a short run with it? Depending on if you want to believe it, there’s a story out there that says he was supposed to, but due to Honky Tonk Man throwing a monkey wrench into things, that never happened.
The full story of that is in my Mania 4 review if you’re interested, but in essence, the original plan called for DiBiase to hold the belt over the summer of 88, but it would have involved Savage beating Honky for the IC belt. He said no, so Savage got the world title four months ahead of schedule. Basically we recap the entire feud up to this point in a series of videos that take about seven minutes. This feels more like a show for people that are new to the company at this point, which is rather interesting.
After another commercial, we’re in the ring and for some reason they ring the bell for this. I guess it was to get attention, but it was still odd. Gene says what this is for and introduces Hogan for the contract signing for this match which will take place a week from Friday. It was taking place on a live show on NBC on a Friday night. Live TV was a very new idea back then and being on prime time during the week was unheard of.
You can tell it’s a very different wrestling world than it is now. Hogan is wearing jeans. That just looks odd. Jesse makes a great point that Hogan should be booed for coming out to Real American in Canada, but of course he’s worshipped even more. Gene mistakenly says that Andre weighs 425 which confuses Vince for a bit. Jack Tunney is here and gets a very mixed reaction (he was a big time promoter in Canada and had a lifetime job for selling to Vince.
This same deal was in place for Monsoon who owned the Puerto Rico territory of all places) as he should. Andre just looks awesome in his suit where you can see the suspenders holding up his pants. It sounds stupid but for Andre it looks sweet. Heenan has sold his contract for a million dollars and then later in I think 1989 bought it back for a hundred grand. That’s a very sweet deal when you think about it.
There’s a ton of mind games from Andre which has Hogan looking flat out scared. That’s something you hardly ever see. Hogan signs as DiBiase cuts a promo talking down to Hogan which is just awesome. Andre just stares at Hogan before signing which is rather intimidating. Andre signs and then beats up Hogan of course, because it wouldn’t be wrestling without it. This was a new idea so the cliché isn’t there yet, making it much cooler.
Buy Wrestlemania 4.
We talk about the Rumble, which sounds really weak. There’s not a lot of huge names in it, which kind of hurt things. Let’s do it.
Royal Rumble
Bret Hart is #1 and Tito Santana is 2, so if nothing else we’re guaranteed a solid opening. This was the hot feud for the tag belts at the time, so I’m quite shocked that these are the two opening guys. Bear with me on this, as I have no idea how this is going to go. And we’re off. Vince is complaining about Andre and DiBiase’s conduct, saying that if Andre wins the title it’ll be a dark time for the company. I agree.
Those 45 seconds were indeed a nightmare come to Stamford. Thankfully Jesse gets Vince talking about the match and mentions how ironic it is that these two are starting, which amuses me. Something I noticed here: Vince mentions that hopefully 3 will be one of Tito’s friends. This was a lot more of a standard battle royal as there’s no concept mentioned of every man for themselves.
The idea of say Neidhart throwing out Bret would be a split of the team instead of just a regular thing in a battle royal. That’s very interesting. 3 is Butch “I was supposed to be a Horsemen” Reed. Tito hits the forearm just as Butch comes in to make it one on one again. Jesse says that Reed is virtually rested. Why wouldn’t he be all rested? Also if you’ve been resting, doesn’t it imply you had been doing something before? Why am I examining this?
After about a minute and a half (the space between people always changed through the match. According to Wikipedia this match runs 33 minutes even. Now I’m bad at math, but with 19 different entrances considering that two start and two minutes between each, wouldn’t there be a minimum of 38 minutes, which would also assume that the last person out was eliminated more or less immediately and didn’t have to run to the ring) Neidhart is 4, making it three on one against Tito.
Naturally just before Jim gets in, Bret and Butch mess up a double team spot which I think was going to be called the Convenient Plot Twist of Doom, but I could be wrong. The Harts kind of steal Demolition’s finisher to beat on Santana a bit more. Vince finally points out the idea that Reed could double cross them, but naturally he doesn’t.
After about 75 seconds we have the fifth entrant of Jake Roberts who was rapidly becoming a huge name. He’s by far the biggest star in the match at this point and immediately eliminates Reed and then hammers on Neidhart. Jim would be his opponent at the infamous Heroes of Wrestling issue which I’m sure you’ve heard of.
Jake and Tito clean house for a bit as it will never cease to amaze me how a guy can get a beating that would put most people in a hospital and be up fresh and fighting just seconds later. The crowd is WAY into this. The DDT doesn’t hit and the heels are in control again. Bret hits a piledriver on Tito as number six is Harley Race who needed to retire about five years prior to this.
At seven we have Jim Brunzell as we’re in full on battle royal mode of very little happening. This is a white hot crowd which is helping the boredom a lot. All six guys try to get each other out in a big pile which is either very cool or very stupid. Sam Houston, Jake’s tiny and untalented brother in law is eighth. The commentary here has to be limited as it’s really just punching and kicking and a random attempt at an elimination that doesn’t do anything.
That’s the nature of the beast though as you have to fill in a lot of time out there. We have seven people in the ring right now which is far too high of a number. As I type that, the Harts throw out Tito. Danny Davis is ninth. He was a referee turned wrestler and about as effective as Santino. Sam Houston beats him up if that tells you anything. Race gets caught in the slingshot position which is where he sits on the middle rope and gets punched down but his feet save him and bring him back in.
I’ve always liked that one. More random punching follows. These fans REALLY want a DDT. Boris Zhukov is the tenth entrant and eighth currently in the ring. How are we already halfway done with this? He goes for Houston, which makes sense as he’s the tiny guy in the match, but it’s getting a bit repetitive. Race and Boris go at it, and the term every man for himself is first used on a Rumble broadcast. I love me some hot heel on heel action. It had to be said.
Davis tries to get rid of Sam Houston to become mayor of Jobber Town USA, or would it be Jobber Town Canada in the Horowitz province? We start the second half with Don Muraco (incorrectly called #10 by Vince) and Nikolai Volkoff who run down at the same time. Uh oh we have an uninteresting problem here. Muraco hits him and climbs in, making that whole segment completely pointless.
We have WAY too many people in there until Boris is eliminated to take us down to just eight in the ring. That’s still far too many people laying on the ropes and punching each other. I wonder if they ever get bored doing that for so long. Brunzell hits a sweet dropkick on Hart. That was nice. Apparently Nikolai will be 12th when we finally get to him.
After Vince mentions that he has the list of all twenty names, more or less ending any feeling of suspense at least for me, Nikolai comes in, again making the time where he stood at ringside completely pointless. Race does his traditional back flip bump to be eliminated which always looks good.
Jim Duggan comes out 13th to a MASSIVE pop. He and Roberts were likely the second and third biggest faces in the company at this point. He and Race have a short incident in the aisle which I guess is the setup for the hilarious fight they had at the Slammys. Find that show as it’s hilarious stuff all night long.
There are WAY too many people in there with I think nine at this point and for some reason they’re all on one side of the ring. That looks very odd indeed. Ron “Don’t Call Me Lance” Bass comes in and I promise that’s the last of my Chris Berman moments. I can’t stand that guy. I like the way Duggan punches. It just looks cool. The ring is too full but Brunzell being thrown out helps a bit.
Brian Blair is 15 to get us down to just five people to go. These fans sound like they’re heroin addicts given how much they want the DDT. After even more stalling and bad punching we have Hillbilly Jim at sixteen. He takes out Anvil in about four seconds to keep us at that ten person equilibrium. Dino Bravo gets us to 11 as number 17 which I think is a new record for most people in the match’s long standing twenty minute history.
That’s the problem here. Considering the whole match is thirty three minutes, Bravo should be coming in at thirty two I believe, yet we’ve got three more to be entered. Bass gets rid of the pest known as Sam Houston. The match becomes legal when some rookie that hasn’t done anything yet known as the Ultimate Warrior comes in. He’s a jobber killer at this point and barely even that high up.
Bret finally goes out as I guess he couldn’t stand to be in there with someone as bad as Warrior. He was in there twenty five minutes which is the record at the time. About forty seconds after Warrior comes in we have One Man Gang who would win the Slammy for Best Group. He knocks out Roberts and Blair in about a minute to finally start clearing the ring up a bit. The final man comes out after about a minute and it’s the Junkyard Dog. Well that’s pretty anticlimactic.
For the life of me I will never understand what was so great about this guy. He was supposed to be a big deal but I’ve always found him to be a complete waste of air. Anyway, this is the final field of about nine or ten so let’s do it. Yeah it’s ten. Vince shows off his brilliant wrestling mind by picking the Dog to win it. The 300lb Lithuanian Nikolai Volkoff is the first of the ten out thanks to Duggan.
Gang backdrops Jim out to take up to eight. Gang is also the I think fourth person that Jesse says this is his type of match. We get it: brawlers should do well in this. Davis gets clotheslined out to finish eighth. Gang and Bravo eliminate Warrior about five seconds later with relative ease. Dog is out a bit later to take us to five. Bass’ elimination takes us down to four.
I know that was just listing eliminations but they all came rather quickly with nothing at all between them. The final four are Gang, Bravo, Duggan and Muraco. The announcers pick the Gang for the win. Muraco beats up the Achilles enthusiasts while Duggan is down. Bravo holds Muraco up so Gang can clothesline him out, and naturally…it works. What? Of course it works.
Those are finely trained professionals. Did you expect them to make a mistake or something like that? They try the same spot on Duggan and it fails to take us to Gang and Duggan as the last two. Gang beats on Duggan on the ropes and charges at him, but Duggan of all things uses his head and pulls the rope down for the win.
Jesse is annoyed which is funny. We almost immediately go to commercial. One thing I really liked there was that there were no commercial breaks which would have messed up a lot of stuff for me. I’m glad they did it right.
Rating: C-. This match gets a pass, but it wasn’t that good. To be fair, it’s the very first one and they had no clue what they were doing, so given the information and knowledge they had, this was good. The roster wasn’t huge here as Hogan, Andre and DiBiase were the biggest stars in the company at the time, so there was only so much they could do, but it was certainly watchable. Next year they would iron out a lot of the kinks to improve it greatly, but for a first try this was fine.
We recap the real thing of the show by talking about Hogan and Andre. Hogan comes out again to talk about the title match on the fifth and says exactly what you would expect him to say. This was just window dressing.
Islanders vs. Young Stallions
Yes we actually have another match on this show and oddly enough it’s also 2/3 falls. The Islanders had dognapped Matilda recently in a somewhat well known angle. In short, they stole the dog and then gave it back. It was a big deal at the time for no apparent reason. Vince plays Sherlock Holmes here which is idiotic sounding. Heenan is apparently in Barbados for no given reason. Tama and Jim Powers start.
Tama was a guy I’ve always liked but he never got anything going for him. Vince admits that he was bored out of him mind during the Bravo segment which is great. It’s always good to hear Vince admit the he screwed up. They more or less ignore the match for the beginning because the show is more or less over at this point. Vince says that Tama has a devastating leap.
He doesn’t say into a splash or anything like that, but just a devastating leap. Wait, so he has a painful jump? Is he a jump rope master or something? Does Heenan turn the ropes? The man that would somehow become a Horseman named Paul Roma gets a tag and then it’s his turn to get beaten up. Oh dear Roma hurt his knee. No one seems to care. He gets counted out to end the first fall.
We go to commercial and as we come back, the Stallions are in the back getting Roma’s knee looked at. As stupid as that sounds, we get another recap of the contract signing and while a match is going on, we go to Andre and DiBiase for a promo in the arena. That’s just painfully stupid looking.
The commercial is let’s say three minutes long. In three minutes a guy with a bad knee got to the back and DiBiase and the Giant got word to the production team that they wanted to say something and got to the stage in time? That’s a BIG stretch. Andre says exactly what you would expect him to say. He does use the term Giant-a-Mania which is kind of awesome.
After another commercial we’re back in the second fall. Roma’s knee is dead here but we keep going anyway. I’ll give them credit as that’s actually a rather creative way to get in a match and a promo in the final part of the show. It’s kind of plausible but not really. It’s close enough though. Naturally they talk about the promo. You have to give it to Vince: he managed to get a promo in so that he wouldn’t have to talk about this match very much at all.
I’ll give him credit for something up with good ideas like that. That’s not bad at all. Jesse says that the Hogan vs. Andre match will be bigger than the Indy 500. Vince says he’d like to see Jesse dragged behind an indy car. Dang that’s rather violent.
This is just rather generic stuff for the most part as Powers can’t tag out because his partner is hurt. He finally does and Roma is destroyed, giving up to a half crab pretty quickly. Jesse somewhat sarcastically calls it a valiant effort which is I guess his attempt at being nice?
Rating: C-. This booking made little sense as I don’t get why this went on last. It was pretty boring but it’s not bad. It’s standard 80s stuff but it’s little more than a squash. It closed the show on an odd note, but this was ok I guess.
Vince and Jesse recap the show for about three minutes with a very long talk about the Bravo thing. For the love of goodness it wasn’t a big deal! They desperately try to make it a big deal, but man it’s just a failure. They of course recap Hogan and Andre and in a funny close, Jesse goes through the information for the match time and location etc., which disgusts the marketing freak known as Vince. That’s just great.
Overall Rating: C+. There’s a major factor to remember when watching this show: it was completely free. As a pay per view, this would have been lower than an F. However, given that this was pretty much thrown together and was given away free, how much can you complain? You got four matches and six segments total.
The first match was ok I guess, the second was exciting, the third was a new gimmick which is always worth a look and the fourth…well I’m not sure why it was where it was but it’s not bad. The two segments were the epitome of hit and miss as the first was just a waste of time, but to be fair you could just change the channel for this one. The Hogan/Andre was nothing but a build up for next week which is also fine. The one thing I don’t get is where a lot of guys were.
I mean, there’s no IC Champion in Honky. There’s no Savage who would go on to win the world title at Mania. No Demolition who would win the tag titles. Beefcake wasn’t there either and he would get the title shot at Mania. Martel, the other tag champion wasn’t there.
It certainly would have helped the battle royal out, but I guess that’s neither here nor there. The show is fine all things considered, but it’s really more of a historical thing than a good thing. It’s not bad at all, but don’t expect a great show because it isn’t one.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
This is a special day for a lot of people, including me (as you can see). Regardless of your how you feel about the religious side of the day, Christmas is about spending time with your friends and loved ones, whether it’s a little while or all day. So take the day off (as you should be allowed to do and I’m sorry if you can’t) and just enjoy yourself with someone who means something to you. Watch a Christmas movie, play some games, just chill in front of a nice fire and talk all day or whatever else you want to do. Just spend some time together and if you can, think about what they mean to you because you don’t know when your last Christmas together might be. It’s my first Christmas without my grandmother and I never would have guessed that last year. Enjoy the time while you can, because this is a day you get once a year.
I’ll probably be taking the day off but if I don’t do anything new, I’ll throw up something from the vault.
Merry Christmas to all, and too all a good morning, afternoon and night,
KB
IMG Credit: WWE
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 23, 2019
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Samoa Joe, Vic Joseph
We’re taped this week and that’s quite the good idea as there is no need to have the talent working so close to Christmas. That being said, one of the big ideas over the last two weeks has been to make Seth Rollins into a bigger heel, despite the show taking place in his home state. Tonight he gets a US Title shot because even though he beat Brock Lesnar twice this year and now has the AOP behind him, Brock doesn’t exist until we get closer to the Royal Rumble. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Kevin Owens to get things going. We see a video on Seth Rollins and the AOP joining forces to attack various people. Owens is ready to say something but Mojo Rawley cuts him off. Mojo wants an explanation for Owens Stunning him but Owens wants to start their No DQ match right now. That’s fine with Mojo.
Mojo Rawley vs. Kevin Owens
Owens runs him over to start and throws in a bunch of chairs. Back in and Mojo manages a fireman’s carry faceplant onto said chairs for two. The chairs are set up next to each other and Mojo actually slams him onto them for two more. Since being slammed onto opened chairs doesn’t really hurt, Owens hits a superkick into the Swanton for two of his own. A table is brought in and it’s a Stunner into the Pop Up Powerbomb through the table to finish Rawley at 6:30.
Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to think about this one. They were smart to keep it short because no one was going to buy Mojo as a threat to Owens, but it wasn’t interesting in the first place and the match was just an annoyance for Owens. The No DQ part was just a detail and a way to increase the violence, but it never got interesting or really close to it.
Post match, Owens calls out Rollins and the AOP for a fight. Post break here are Rollins and AOP with Rollins saying a lot of things without having a microphone. He offers a handshake but Owens superkicks him down. That means a beatdown from the AOP though and Rollins is back up for the Stomp. This sends Samoa Joe into a rant about how those aren’t men because they’re just thugs. Someone needs to strike first so you can tell one story.
Over the weekend, R-Truth was in New York City. After being told about the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, Akira Tozawa rolled him up to win the 24/7 Title. That’s his reward for all of the great performances over the last few weeks?
Cedric Alexander vs. Bobby Lashley
Lashley starts throwing him around to start but Cedric manages to roll away. The spinning back elbow rocks Lashley and a headscissors into a dropkick puts him on the floor. A moonsault off the apron drops Lashley again but hold on because Lana says whoa a lot. She gets in the ring and asks Cedric who he thinks he is. How dare he attack Lashley a week before they’re getting married? The invites are going out and Lashley needs to look great, so let’s have a classic Greco-Roman match.
Back from a break with the match continuing as usual, including Alexander kicking Lashley in the face from the apron. The fans chant for Rusev as the springboard Downward Spiral is broken up. A hard clothesline turns Alexander inside out and a neckbreaker gets two. Lashley hits a rather high in the air Downward Spiral for two more but Alexander gets in a dropkick.
The springboard clothesline connects and there’s the suicide dive for a bonus. The big running flip dive makes it even worse and the Neuralizer connects for two. Lashley is right back with the spinning Big Ending but the spear is cut off with a dropkick to the knee. Another springboard misses though and it’s the spinebuster into the spear to finish Alexander at 13:22.
Rating: C. This was your match that was extended to stretch the show out. The Lana/Lashley stuff is as painful television as you can find and I’m almost scared to see how bad the wedding is going to be next week. I would say at least it’s getting closer to a conclusion but there is no reason to believe that any such ending is coming. The match was back and forth but it ran long and the Lana announcement in the middle could have come before or after.
Rollins doesn’t get what Owens is trying to do.
Tozawa (in a 2K19 jacket because even WWE wrestlers don’t want to support the new game) runs into R-Truth again and they bump into someone, causing him to drop his food. The chase continues.
Zack Ryder vs. Drew McIntyre
They trade slaps to start and McIntyre pounds him down in the corner. Ryder sends him outside for a dropkick through the ropes, only to get blasted with a clothesline. Back in and the overhead belly to belly sends Ryder flying and the Claymore finishes Ryder at 2:09. That’s how it should have gone.
Post match Drew beats up Ryder and Curt Hawkins. McIntyre even handles their congratulations to him before saying 2020 is his year.
Here’s Becky Lynch for a chat. She’s a little more serious this time and talks about how things go better when she takes things into her own hands. This company has been trying to protect her but she needs to face Asuka next. Asuka is the only woman that Becky can’t beat so it’s time to collect on one last debt. Cue the Kabuki Warriors to say they are the champions. Asuka calls herself Asuka Two Belts and Becky shouts back in Japanese. The match doesn’t seem to be confirmed yet.
Aleister Black vs. Deonn Rusman
Black vs. Murphy II is set for next week. Leg sweep, jumping knee, Black Mass at 38 seconds.
Buddy Murphy vs. Joeasa
Jumping knee and Murphy’s Law (complete with Buddy pulling him up ala Black for Black Mass) finish Joeasa at 33 seconds.
Post match Black comes back in to hit Black Mass.
Rey Mysterio is ready for Seth Rollins tonight. It’s the first time they’ve ever met, but it’s going to be Rey vs. Seth/AOP. Rey is ready for the AOP to see Seth take the 619 and for him to leave still US Champion.
Tony Nese vs. Ricochet
Nese starts dodging with the flips so Ricochet shows off his own flips. A necksnap across the top rope sets up a bodyscissors to slow Ricochet down some more. Back up and Ricochet kicks him in the face but a springboard is broken up. Not that it matters as the superkick into the Recoil puts Nese away at 2:33. It was energetic while it lasted.
Akira Tozawa hides behind a Christmas tree but then runs away as soon as R-Truth shows up.
Charlotte vs. Chelsea Green
This is Green’s main roster debut and she does the Tessa Blanchard look over the shoulder pose in the ring. They lock up to start with Charlotte going after the arm to start, only to get taken down for a basement dropkick. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Charlotte fights up with the chops. A big boot drops Green and the Figure Eight is good for the tap at 4:06.
Rating: C-. Green looked good and intense but there was only so much you’re going to do with Charlotte. I can’t imagine this is anything more than just a one off match and that’s fine for something like this. They have to fill in the time with something so doing it this way is as good as anything else.
Santa Claus punches Tozawa and wins the title. He runs off so Truth and Tozawa are going to work together to get the title back.
Liv Morgan talks about being young, impressionable and anything but typical.
Randy Orton/Viking Raiders vs. OC
Fallout from last week’s main event. Ivar shoves Anderson into the corner to start and it’s off to Erik for a slam of his own. An Ivar knee gets two on Anderson and Erik slams Ivar onto him for two. Gallows comes in for a change of pace and kicks Erik in the head to put him on the floor. AJ gets in a cheap shot and it’s Erik in trouble for a change. The jumping knee gives AJ two and it’s Anderson grabbing the chinlock.
This one doesn’t last long though as Anderson goes with the spinebuster for two instead. Erik gets in a forearm to AJ though and the hot tag brings in Orton. Gallows doesn’t waste time in backdropping him to the floor though and Orton’s already banged up knee is hurt again. The big staredown on the floor takes us to a break and we come back with Gallows working on the knee some more.
Orton fights up and brings Erik back in for the tag so house can be cleaned. Ivar is in rather quickly for a side slam and basement crossbody. Erik drives Ivar into Anderson in the corner and the Viking Experience gets two with Gallows making a save. Orton comes back in off a blind tag as AJ sends the Vikings outside. The RKO is broken up so Anderson takes one instead. Gallows goes after the knee though and it’s the Phenomenal Forearm to put Orton away at 14:01.
Rating: C. This was a bit boring but it tied into last week and gives us a reason to see both matches again. I could go for more AJ vs. Orton as their match last week wasn’t too bad but the Vikings vs. the OC isn’t exactly thrilling. As long as the AOP is walking around, it’s hard to buy anyone else as a major threat to the titles. At least we had something to fill in some time here though, which was part of the point.
A sleigh race breaks out in New York before Santa runs away on foot again.
Erick Rowan has a present for the camera in his cage.
The Street Profits don’t know why they haven’t gotten their wedding invitations. They could go for the bachelor party though. On top of that, they aren’t sure what’s in Rowan’s cage.
Erick Rowan vs. ???
The jobber offers a candy cane before going after the cage. Rowan takes part of the covering off of the apron and drops him face first onto the exposed….canvas. A crossbody sets up the Iron Claw which sets up the Iron Claw for the pin at 2:21. Same as always.
Rowan gives the candy cane to whatever is in the cage.
R-Truth gets the title back so here’s Tozawa….but the referee is sick of this and goes home. They agree to a truce and to go find the Big Apple.
Here’s Rusev for a chat. Yeah he lost at TLC and he’s upset about it. He’s not upset about Lana and Lashley getting married though because it’s the greatest day of his life. Marrying Lana is the greatest punishment he can give Lashley and the wedding is on RUSEV DAY.
Rusev vs. No Way Jose
The Machka kick gives Rusev the pin at 36 seconds.
Post match Rusev busts out a Spinarooni and leaves with the Conga Line. Rusev even gets some kisses, sending him into more dancing.
Seth Rollins is going to win the US Title and establish dominance.
US Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Seth Rollins
Mysterio is defending and Rollins has the AOP. Side note: Rollins no longer has BEASTSLAYER on his Titantron (not sure how long it has been gone but it was there the night after Survivor Series). Good, as that had nothing to do with what he is doing at the moment and involved one feud that hasn’t been active since August. Rollins starts fast but Rey slips out of a suplex attempt. A discus forearm knocks Rey silly so he’s right back with a headscissors.
The 619 misses though and Rey is sent shoulder first into the post. He’s also thrown hard to the floor as we take a break. Back with Rey fighting out of an armbar and sending Rollins outside. That means a sliding sunset bomb into the barricade, setting up the springboard seated senton. A tornado DDT gives Rey two but Rollins scores with the buckle bomb and a low superkick for his own two. The Stomp misses though and Rey hits the 619, only to have the AOP interfere for the DQ at 9:53.
Rating: C+. This was the kind of action that you would expect from these two but the ending saves the big match for another date. It might be an annoying way to end the show but that was the right way to go here. Mysterio can fight Rollins another day, perhaps when he has some more backup. I could go for more and that’s what they were trying to get the fans to want.
Post match the beatdown is on and they go to the announcers’ table. Joe stays in his seat though and doesn’t like being told to move. If he gets up, it isn’t going to be to move. Joe gets up so Rollins gets in his face, meaning the jacket comes off. Rollins walks away but tells the AOP to finish him. The beatdown is on and Joe gets taken out as Rollins Stomps Rey. The AOP puts Joe through the table to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. I could go for more of these squash heavy shows. You can only get so far with the long matches as a lot of fans are going to get sick of the matches that feel like they’re going on forever. If nothing else, how many people are going to stick around because “oh well it’ll be something different in a minute”? It’s a change of pace and that’s what Raw has been needing for a long time. We also get some fresh blood on the show and maybe something can click. Not a great show, but the format made it feel a lot faster and that’s a good thing.
Results
Kevin Owens b. Mojo Rawley – Pop Up Powerbomb through a table
Bobby Lashley b. Cedric Alexander – Spear
Drew McIntyre b. Zack Ryder – Claymore
Aleister Black b. Deonn Rusman – Black Mass
Buddy Murphy b. Joeasa – Murphy’s Law
Ricochet b. Tony Nese – Recoil
Charlotte b. Chelsea Green – Figure Eight
OC b. Viking Raiders/Randy Orton – Phenomenal Forearm to Orton
Erick Rowan b. ??? – Iron Claw
Rusev b. No Way Jose – Machka Kick
Rey Mysterio b. Seth Rollins via DQ when AOP interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
IMG Credit: Ring of Honor Wrestling
Ring of Honor
Date: December 18, 2019
Location: Express Live, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Colt Cabana
Host: Ian Riccaboni
We’re at the end of the year now and that means things are going to be….well pretty much just a placeholder show. With Final Battle out of the way and the holidays upon us, this is going to be an unrelated show, which likely means a bunch of stuff from their multitude of Honor Club shows. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Opening sequence.
Everything tonight is from Unauthorized.
Clips of Jefe Cobbo/El Villainisto vs. Delirious/Mini Delirious with Mini Delirious taking the fall to get unmasked as Swoggle. Yeah Unauthorized wasn’t the most serious show. Colt Cabana: “It’s Little John Studd!”
Ian welcomes us to the show and explains the idea of Unauthorized: it’s a comedy show, though he doesn’t actually use those words.
Cheeseburger/Bouncers vs. Dalton Castle/Flip Gordon/Kenny King
That would be Cheeseburger/Double Cheeseburger/Triple Cheeseburger vs. Dalton White Castle/Burger Flip Gordon/Kenny Burger King to give you an idea of what we’re doing here. Gordon tags himself in to start with Beer City Bruiser, with the waistlock going as badly as you would expect. A big chop puts Gordon down and it’s time for the snap jabs into the toothless bite. Castle and King get the lack of teeth as well so it’s off to King vs. Cheeseburger (with the hat).
Some armdrags make Cheeseburger lose the hat so King takes bite out of the thing. Back up and Cheeseburger takes King’s leg out and climbs onto his back to bend the arm a bit. We take a break and come back with Cheeseburger in trouble and Castle drawing in Milonas so a lot of stomping can ensue. Gordon does the same thing to Bruiser and Milonas and it’s a triple stomp because the Bouncers aren’t that bright.
Actually the referee catches them and in the argument, Cheeseburger crawls through the legs and makes the tag to Milonas. Eh point for a clever idea. Gordon dives into a swinging sitout Boss Man Slam, setting up Bruiser’s middle rope splash for two. The Bouncers help Cheeseburger on a Canadian Destroyer to Gordon but a rope grab breaks it up. We get the big fight over the superplex until the Bouncers suplex all three of them at once.
King hits an Arabian press onto a bunch of people on the floor and it’s Cheeseburger, Bruiser and Cheeseburger fighting on the stage. Cheeseburger gets thrown onto the pile and Gordon teases a dive, only to flip off the crowd. Bruiser does the dive instead and it’s Cheeseburger hitting a palm strike on Castle, only to get rolled up by Gordon for the pin at 14:05.
Rating: C. Yeah this isn’t something that hasn’t been done better before, but doing this at a show like this is fine. It’s designed to be a comedy match and they weren’t hiding that, which helps a lot. This is something that’s ok to do when you’re in on the joke and that was the case here.
Clips of the ten man tag, which included Ian Riccaboni, a referee, a cameraman and Gary Jester teaming with Colt Cabana to win a glorified handicap match.
Brian Zane’s Top Five of the week looks at the best managers with Truth Martini at the top. Makes sense as there aren’t a lot of big managers to pick from around here.
TK O’Ryan comes out in street clothes and talks about being hurt by Vinny Marseglia and Matt Taven. They’re not his friends but he’s been associated with them for a long time. Last night Marseglia put an end to the team and he wasn’t brought in to the party. A few years ago, O’Ryan was brought in cold with no fanfare and two months later, he was a Six Man Tag Team Champion. He loves this company and there is a better way.
The last few weeks have been very difficult for the three of them but if you go back a few months, there is something he never told anyone in wrestling: he had a head injury and people started passing him by. He feels like a horse without a stable and he isn’t sure if he’ll ever wrestle again. It’s true that he hasn’t been the nicest guy but people can change. He has been receiving a bunch of messages from fans, who are the biggest supporters in the world and he’ll never forget that.
This may be his only chance to say thank you and that is what he wants to do right now. If he’s ever able to wrestle again, he’ll be back as a man that everyone can be proud of. This was clipped but it was a heck of an emotional speech and after having no feelings about O’Ryan ever, I want to see him come back. It sounded legitimate and that’s hard to take no matter who you are. Hopefully he gets better soon.
Clips from some Unauthorized matches.
Brian Johnson is tired of failing and promises to make 2020 a year of change.
Lifeblood vs. Dragon Lee/Rush
Mark Haskins/Tracy Williams for Lifeblood (Is there anyone left for the team?) and this is under Lucha Rules. Lee and Haskins start things off and go to the mat early on with Haskins not being able to get the full cross armbreaker. A standoff sends us to an early break and we come back to Rush coming in to face Williams. The missed flips begin until Rush dropkicks him out to the floor.
Haskins won’t let him down though, allowing Lee to hit his own dropkick. Everything breaks down and it’s Haskins vs. Lee, as the lack of tags makes sense. Haskins and Williams fire off knees to Lee’s chest and a double kick gets two. Haskins starts working on the arm in various painful ways, including a YES Lock. That’s switched into the Rings of Saturn, sending Lee’s leg onto the rope.
The slugout is on until Lee hits a hard dropkick, allowing the hot tag to Rush so everything can break down. Lee and Rush load up stereo dives but roll into double Tranquilo instead. Back from another break with Lee biting Williams’ ear and Rush coming in for a half crab. Lee grabs a leg of his own and we hit the posing hold. Haskins makes the save but gets sent outside, only to have Williams get kicked down again, requiring a second straight save. Williams fights back and kicks both of them to the floor, setting up a double Lifeblood dive to the floor.
Back in and Lee chops the heck out of both of them until the strikes get the better of him. A Death Valley Driver into a Samoan Driver/powerbomb combination gets two with Rush having to make the save. Williams hits an elevated DDT onto the top on Rush but Lee comes in with a top rope double stomp for the save. Lee brainbusters Haskins and jumps over the top to hurricanrana him off the apron. The Bull’s Horns hits Williams for the pin at 16:01.
Rating: B+. This was all action and I had a blast with it. Lee and Rush are two of the best around right now and you got a great example of the in-ring talent that they have around here. That’s where Ring of Honor keeps its reputation: when you strip away everything else, you get a heck of a match with four talented guys going out there and tearing the house down. I had a great time with this and it’s one of the best things Ring of Honor has done in a long time.
Overall Rating: B. I know it’s a special show and not something you can do every week but this was a lot of fun and the kind of show that they needed to do. Sometimes the solution to the problem, at least in the short term, is to have a fun wrestling show and that’s what we got here. The main event was a blast and worth your time, with the opener being entertaining as well. Good stuff all around here.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling
Impact Wrestling
Date: December 17, 2019
Location: Melrose Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis
We’re about a month away from Hard To Kill and the top of the card is already set. I’m not sure how interested I am in Tessa Blanchard vs. Sami Callihan again but the Tag Team Title match sounds good. What matters most is that they have something to shoot for and that is more important than a lot of things. Like Acey Romero vs. Joey Ryan as Ryan’s Wrestler’s Court punishment. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Opening recap.
Opening sequence.
Jordynne Grace vs. Tenille Dashwood
Dashwood still works here? She takes Grace down with a headscissors and then switches to a quickly broken armbar. They trade some standing switches until Dashwood’s crossbody is caught and muscled up into a suplex for two. Grace is sent to the apron and Dashwood gets in a kick to the face, plus a neckbreaker over the ropes for two.
The Tarantula goes on, setting up a reverse DDT for two more on Grace. That’s enough for Grace who busts the heck out of Dashwood’s spine for her own two, plus two more just in case. Dashwood fights out of the Grace Driver so Grace blasts her with a clothesline. Somehow Dashwood is right back up with the Taste of Tenille and a butterfly suplex for two more. Dashwood tries la majistral but Grace drops down onto her for the pin at 7:50.
Rating: C. They did some back and forth stuff here but I’m not sure how much Grace should be going up before the big title shot. Then again I’m not sure how much ODB needs to be in that title match and she’s there anyway. Dashwood has just stopped mattering over the last few months and I don’t see that getting much better.
Post match they shake hands but here’s Taya Valkyrie to jump Grace. Dashwood makes the save though and Taya is sent bailing.
Moose runs into Rhino and tells him that he could have given him some pointers against Rob Van Dam. Rhino decks him, likely setting up a match later tonight.
The North comes up to Willie Mack and actually doesn’t want a fight. Since Mack is hurt, they should let Rich Swann go off and be a singles star. Swann comes up to say tell them to get out of here before a fight breaks out.
The announcers preview the card.
TJP vs. Daga
Fallah Bahh is here with TJP and we get an early handshake. They go to the mat for an early standoff until it’s back to the mat for some grappling. TJP dropkicks him into the corner and we stop for some staring. Back up and Daga armdrags him into an armbar and then does it again for good measure. TJP is right back with his headscissors to spin Daga over but Daga spins out of another attempt and pulls TJP down by the arm.
They trade some flips to maintain arm control, trade rollup for two each, and miss stereo dropkicks as we take a break. Back with Daga hitting some shots in the corner but getting sent out to the floor in a hurry. The springboard slingshot dropkick rocks Daga again and the slingshot hilo gets two back inside. Daga’s headscissors sends TJP into the corner for a change and there’s a forearm to the back.
Daga runs down the ramp for a sunset flip into a double stomp to the chest for two and that means frustration time. TJP spins out of a tiger bomb but his bridging rollup is countered into a superkick. That’s fine with TJP, who hits a jumping spin kick to the face for another double knockdown.
They slug it out until TJP snaps off a hurricanrana into a cross armbreaker but Daga stacks him up for two. A double clothesline puts them both down again and the real frustration is setting in. Daga knocks him down and goes up, earning himself a superplex back down into the Detonation Kick. The kneebar sends Daga to the rope so TJP switches to an STF to make Daga tap at 16:39.
Rating: B-. This got some time and was quite the technical display. TJP can go with anyone and has put in one nice performance after another. I could go for either of them getting a nice push but for some reason I don’t exactly buy that as being the most likely case. At least we got a good match out of the whole thing though.
Post match the Desi Hit Squad runs in to beat down TJP and Bahh. Daga makes the save but Shera comes in to plant him with a chokeslam. Good thing we got to push the important guys.
Brian Cage runs into the very combined forces of Rob Van Dam and Katie Forbes. Rob isn’t worried about their match at Hard To Kill because he knows how to counter his own moves.
Here are Van Dam and Forbes for a chat. Katie introduces him and more kissing ensues. Rob isn’t sure why he’s getting so much attention as of late but he’ll take it while he gets it. After more Katie time, Rob says he’s taking a stand against everyone trying to steal all of his awesome moves. Cage is the biggest Van Dam mark of them all, so here he is in person. The fight is on with Cage getting the better of things until Katie gets in a low blow. Rob plants him with a middle rope Fameasser but won’t give the fans the Van Terminator. Instead he dropkicks the chair into Cage’s head and has some more of Katie.
Flashback Moment of the Week: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me from Final Resolution 2010.
Susie runs into Rosemary, who warns him about James Mitchell, who comes in and gets Susie away from her. Havok comes in to choke Rosemary. The lights go all colorful and Rosemary disappears as Susie seems…..pleased?
Taya interrupts Madison Rayne and Kiera Hogan, who don’t seem pleased. They’re not friends because Taya is rather rude but she needs help. She asks them to help a Knockout in need but they don’t buy it. Maybe if they get a title shot after Hard To Kill? Taya thinks about it.
Ethan Page vs. Rich Swann
Page headlocks him to start so Swann shoves his way out and hits a good dropkick. Swann slugs away but Josh Alexander grabs his foot, allowing Page to get in a thumb to the eye. Page slugs away until Swann grabs a small package for two. That means a change of pace with some stomping in the corner instead of slugging, because Page is that versatile. A kick to the face keeps Swann down but he rolls forward into a clothesline to Page.
Swann gets two off a cartwheel splash but Alexander’s distraction breaks up the 450. Page’s Neutralizer gets two, only to have Swann come right back with some kicks to the head for his own two. Swann has to bail out of the 450 so Page hits a middle rope slam. The Swanton gives Page two but Swann is back with a kick to the face. He dives onto Alexander though, leaving Page to go after Mack. You don’t do that to Willie though and he chases Page back in and decks him for the DQ at 10:02.
Rating: C+. This was all about the mind games at the end and there is nothing wrong with that. Swann and Mack feel like almost guaranteed title winners so going with some doubt is a good idea. I could go for them winning the titles but I could also go with them fighting each other for months in a great feud.
Post match Swann isn’t happy with Willie.
Rhino and Moose get in another fight in the back.
Joey Ryan vs. Acey Romero
Johnny Swinger is on commentary and Joey starts fast with the baby oil down the trunks. Acey won’t touch it but does hurt his knee on an atomic drop. As the announcers talk about Joey killing territories, Acey crushes him with a crossbody and gets two off a spinebuster. They hit heads and Acey falls face first onto Ryan’s crotch, which brings Ryan back to life.
The lollipop goes into the referee’s mouth by mistake (I’m surprised it doesn’t give him superpowers) and it’s time for Acey to grab it. Swinger makes the save and has Acey grab his fanny pack, which has no such powers. Joey is right back up with the Flip and Sweet Tooth Music finishes Acey at 3:54.
Rating: F. Something about me not having fun or not getting wrestling. I think I’m to the point where I don’t need to rant about Joey anymore. He really does seem like a nice guy (including being nice to me on Twitter before) but this isn’t for me and that’s ok. I could go with not seeing it but I know there’s an audience for it. I’m just not part of it.
Tessa Blanchard isn’t worried about Sami Callihan exposing her. She’s going to take the title from the most vile champion the company has ever seen.
Michael Elgin takes Eddie Edwards’ trophy.
Ace Austin vs. Petey Williams
Non-title. Petey elbows him in the face to start and ducks a springboard kick to the face. A headscissors sends Ace into the corner, setting up the slingshot Codebreaker. The Sharpshooter attempt doesn’t work so Petey hits the slingshot hurricanrana to the floor. Ace is right back with a superkick from the apron and we take a break.
Back with Ace hitting a spinning kick to the head for two and then stopping to stare at the crowd. Ace can’t get the paper cut with the card so Petey snaps off a release German suplex. There’s the Russian legsweep but Ace’s Bang-a-Rama gets two. The Canadian Destroyer is blocked but so is Ace’s superplex. Petey powerbombs him instead but the Canadian Destroyer still can’t connect. Ace is right back with the Fold for the pin at 9:40.
Rating: C. That was one of Petey’s better matches in awhile and it was a good bit better than I was expecting. Ace winning wasn’t in doubt but they were both working and got a nice match out of it. I’m liking the Fold more each time I see it and while Ace’s character has changed a lot, I still like what I see out of him.
Post match, Ace dedicates the win to Trey Miguel’s mom. He even blows her a kiss.
Post break Trey Miguel gets in Ace’s face and one more line about Trey’s mom starts the fight. Reno Scum breaks it up.
Hard To Kill rundown.
Here’s Sami Callihan to “expose” Tessa. She’s a fake and a phony, just like everyone sitting here today. People are saying this is something about gender but Sami should be looked at as a hero for spitting in her face, just like he’d do to any man in the back. The fans cheer for Tessa but they have more in common with him. Tessa is the daughter of Tully Blanchard and was raised by Magnum TA.
Sami earned everything he has and became the face of the company by winning the World Title. His dad never got him a tryout so here’s a livid Tessa. Mad Man Fulton jumps her from behind though, meaning the beatdown is on. Ken Shamrock makes the save but Fulton goes after his bad ribs. Sami and Tessa fight to the back where they brawl in front of some fans. Sami punches one of them by mistake before sending Tessa face first into the production truck.
Tessa shrugs that off and they brawl on the sidewalk. Another ram into the truck rocks Tessa and Sami chokes her with some caution tape. Tessa gets in another shot though and they brawl down the sidewalk with Tessa diving out of the back of a truck. Sami chokes her down and Tessa goes after him until referees FINALLY break it up to end the show. This didn’t do much to make Tessa seem like she could hang in a fight with Sami, but the smoke and mirrors will help a lot at the pay per view.
Overall Rating: C+. They were all working hard here and we got a nice show as a result. As usual, it helps a lot to have a goal to move towards and they have that here. It makes things that much easier and you could see the show improving now that a lot of the card is either set or ready to be set. I’m digging most of the show, though there are a few elements I’d like dropped for good. That isn’t going to happen, but you can only hope. Anyway, good show this week and a positive sign as we head towards the pay per view.
Results
Jordynne Grace b. Tenille Dashwood – Rollup
TJP b. Daga – STF
Ethan Page b. Rich Swann via DQ when Willie Mack interfered
Joey Ryan b. Acey Romeo – Sweet Tooth Music
Ace Austin b. Petey Williams – Fold
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
IMG Credit: Major League Wrestling Fusion
Fusion #88
Date: December 14, 2019
Location: Melrose Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: AJ Kirsch, Rich Bocchini
It’s tournament time as MLW is dusting off the Opera Cup. Now you may not have heard of the Opera Cup but that could be because it hasn’t been around in about seventy years. Stu Hart was the most recent winner but Davey Boy Smith Jr. had possession of the trophy and is willing to put it up in this tournament. Tonight starts the opening round so let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
We open with Injustice in the ring ranting about something but their microphone gets cut. Apparently they’re mad about not being in the Opera Cup tournament, though they are alternates. They have a seat in the ring in protest but here’s King Mo, scheduled for the opening match, to interrupt. With Mo’s manager Dan Lambert on commentary, Mo is ready to fight here’s ACH to even things up a bit and I think you know where this is going.
ACH/King Mo vs. Injustice
It’s Jordan Oliver/Kotto Brazil for the team. Injustice jumps them from behind to start in a hurry but ACH sends Brazil into Oliver as we settle down into something a little more structured. Some dropkicks have Injustice in even more trouble and a double hiptoss to Brazil makes it even worse.
ACH comes back in but gets pulled to the floor so Injustice can take over for the first time. Oliver holds ACH in the corner, setting up Brazil’s running shot to the face. A front facelock cuts off ACH’s charge to the corner and things slow back down a bit. Brazil grabs a Sharpshooter to send ACH over to the ropes and it’s a hard clothesline to drop Oliver. The hot tag brings in Mo and it’s time to clean house in a hurry.
Brazil is smart enough to cut that off in a hurry with a hurricanrana into an enziguri from Oliver. Not that it matters though as Mo spears both of them at once as everything breaks down. ACH kicks away, including a basement dropkick to Brazil. A Stinger Splash/enziguri combination sets up a sitout gutwrench powerbomb to Brazil. Mo slaps on a kneebar to make Brazil tap at 10:35.
Rating: C. I’ve never been a fan of Mo but he has looked great so far in MLW, mainly because he is coming off as a mixed martial artist who is learning to wrestle rather than a mixed martial artist who is doing wrestling between fights. ACH looked good as well, but that’s always the case when he’s in the ring and not ranting about various things.
Here are the Opera Cup brackets:
Davey Boy Smith Jr.
Low Ki
Alex Hammerstone
Maxwell Jacob Friedman
Timothy Thatcher
Richard Holliday
Brian Pillman Jr.
TJP
Buy merch!
Konnan and Gino Medina had a meeting.
The Dynasty has some coffee but it’s GIFT TRAIN time! They are ready for the greatest Hanukkah SLASH Christmas ever. MJF has actually gotten Holliday the giant Air Pods and Holliday is in tears. They’re not connected to Blu-Tooth but Holliday has a present for MJF: Max Mini, as in a miniature version of MJF (not a mini luchador cameo alas). MJF isn’t pleased and has Hammerstone get rid of him. These guys are still gold together.
Video on the Opera Cup.
Opera Cup First Round: Timothy Thatcher vs. Richard Holliday
Holliday shoves him in the face to start and that’s just not a good idea as he’s quickly suplexed down. Thatcher starts pounding away but a suplex into a swinging neckbreaker (the 2008, because it’s a recession for Thatcher) gives Holliday a breather. Thatcher shrugs off some shots to the head though and grabs a half crab. That’s switched into an ankle lock so Holliday rolls him into the corner.
Some forearms to the chest rock Holliday again but he scores with a quick DDT. A backbreaker and spinebuster give Holliday two more and he’s getting frustrated. Thatcher grabs a spinning butterfly suplex for two of his own and he takes Holliday up. That means a spinning 2008 to drop Thatcher….but he pulls Holliday into a Fujiwara armbar for the fast tap at 10:03.
Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but what matters is Thatcher winning while Holliday also looked good. I know MJF has the talking abilities and Hammerstone looked great with all the power, but Holliday is a very polished performer of his own. I could go for more of him on his own, along with more Thatcher wins.
Salina de la Renta talks to Gino Medina as well.
Mance Warner wants a Prince of Darkness (blindfold) match with Jimmy Havoc. Fine, just END THIS already.
Zero Hour ad, featuring Jimmy Havoc vs. Mance Warner in a barbed wire match. So yeah we have at least two more matches.
The Von Erichs vent to their dad about Tom Lawlor. Kevin says he’s been there with a bunch of people turning on him over the years and it’s always about money. Go get revenge in the ring.
Josef Samael says Ikuro Kwon is on a special mission in Japan so Contra soldiers around the world are rising up.
The Strong Hearts are coming from OWE and want Contra. Remember when these people were supposed to be a big part of AEW?
Opera Cup First Round: TJP vs. Brian Pillman Jr.
Pillman works on the arm to start so TJP spins around a lot and grabs an anklescissors to take over. A headlock takeover works a bit better for Pillman, so TJP gets on his own shoulders….and crawls out to make Pillman look a little foolish. They both miss big kicks to the head and that means a standoff for some applause from the crowd.
A headscissors puts Pillman on the floor and a springboard slingshot dropkick knocks him silly. Back in and TJP starts some rapid fire kicks to the chest, setting up a Muta Lock to make it worse. That’s quickly countered into a chinlock so TJP lets go in a smart move. TJP slips out and cranks on the arm but Pillman grabs a powerslam for two of his own. A tornado DDT plants Pillman but TJP can’t follow up.
Air Pillman is broken up with a kick to the floor and the kneebar has Pillman in even more trouble. With Pillman getting too close to the ropes, TJP switches over to an STF but that’s broken up as well. Some kicks to the arm and ribs have Pillman rocked again so he comes back with a superkick. TJP grabs the Detonation Kick but Pillman ducks, setting up the Dire Promise for the pin at 13:24.
Rating: C+. That’s one of Pillman’s best singles matches to date, though some of that is likely due to being in there against TJP. What matters is the fact that he had the match he needed to have and it looked pretty good in the process. Pillman is still very young in his career and getting in ring time against quality competition like this is the best thing that he can do. The athleticism is there and if he can get everything else going for him, he’s going to be more than fine.
Overall Rating: B-. This is one of those matches where they set things up and just had some nice wrestling throughout. Yeah it helps when you have a tournament, but in addition to the wrestling, you also have various factions and groups lining up. Some of them seem interested in going after Contra too, which is the point of a show: going after the World Title. I know that sounds simple, but sometimes going simple is the best thing they can do. Nice show here, and one of the better they’ve had in some time.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
IMG Credit: WWE
Great American Bash 2005
Date: July 24, 2005
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s their patriotic show, which isn’t likely to mean much in regards to anything more than the name. The official main event is Batista defending the World Title against JBL but the real main event is Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio over the secret that Guerrero wants to tell Rey’s son Dominic. I’m not seeing a great show here, but it could be lot worse. Let’s get to it.
The opening video talks about America being a land of opportunity, with each match being tied into the theme. Actually not too bad of an idea.
Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Animal/Heidenreich
Animal/Heidenreich are challenging. Heidenreich and Mercury start things off with the latter being shoved outside in a hurry. Mercury gets thrown down again and let’s make it a third time for good measure. Animal throws him back inside and then comes in legally for a good reaction. A charge hits raised boot but Animal is fine enough to suplex both champs at the same time.
Nitro gets backdropped onto his shoulder and it’s off to Heidenreich. That means the champs can take him down by the knee with both of them getting a chance to pull on it. A missed charge in the corner allows the tag to Animal so house can be cleaned. Animal runs into a belt shot in the corner but Heidenreich breaks up the Snap Shot. The Doomsday Device is good for the pin and the titles.
Rating: D. It wasn’t very good and it was annoying to see the hot new act lose to a half nostalgia/half garbage team but the fans reacted well and this isn’t likely to be a long term deal. The biggest problem here is having MNM lose, but they’ll probably get the titles back sooner rather than later. At least the crowd got a nice pop to open the show.
Post match, Animal dedicates the win to Hawk.
Eddie Guerrero is happy to be addicted to manipulation. Tonight’s manipulation is that Dominick will be watching from ringside. After the match is over, Dominick can hear a bedtime story.
Christian vs. Booker T.
Sharmell is here with Booker. Christian gets chased to the floor to start so Booker throws him back inside and elbows away. That means the chase continues up the ramp with Booker getting the better of it again. A catapult into the corner gets two but Christian is right back with a reverse DDT for two. The DDT on the arm sets up a chinlock, followed by what would become the Anaconda Vice.
That’s broken up with a foot on the rope and Booker grabs a side slam. Christian sends him into the corner again so Sharmell gets on the apron and slaps Christian in the face. The Book End gets two and a spinebuster plants Christian again. Booker Spinaroonis up and hammers away in the corner, only to get rolled up with a foot on the rope for two. They go outside with Booker sending him into the barricade and post. Back in and Booker hits a super ax kick for the pin. Yeah it’s that quick.
Rating: C-. I don’t know what it was but this was rather boring. It was two guys doing moves to each other until Booker got the win in the end. Uh, great, now he has his revenge. What do they do now? This was a rather nothing match and while it was technically fine, I was never interested in anything they did.
Melina is upset about the loss so she’ll make up for it by beating Torrie Wilson.
US Title: Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit
Jordan is defending and got punched down by Benoit earlier today. They lock up to start with Benoit getting the better of it and kneeing away in the corner. Some kicks to the knee get Jordan out of some of the trouble so Benoit dropkicks him in the knee to show him how it’s done. Benoit sends him outside but misses a baseball slide, allowing Jordan to get in a ram to the barricade.
Back in and Jordan tries to unhook a turnbuckle pad, only to get suplexed a few times in a row. Jordan starts working on the arm with a bunch of cranking and an armbar, but does have time to spell OJ in the air. Benoit gets a double leg takedown and hammers away but Jordan goes right back to the arm by wrapping it around the leg. A seated armbar makes it worse and Jordan’s swinging neckbreaker (Cole: “That works on the neck!”) gets two.
After more arm cranking, Jordan goes up top but gets crotched, setting up Benoit’s top rope superplex. Benoit suplexes him down again and hits the Swanton for two. Jordan gets sent into the corner again and gets the pad off, allowing him to send Benoit face first to retain the title.
Rating: C. And so yes the reign continues, but they set up a rematch if need be. Jordan has held the title for months now and for some reason he still has it, presumably because we need to have the title change on the big stage. The one good thing is they aren’t Jordan as some great champion just because he’s held the title for a few months. Benoit got cheated here and that should set up a title change sooner rather than later. Just get rid of Jordan as soon as possible, for everyone’s sake.
Post match Benoit gets the big hero’s ovation. It’s just an Orlando Jordan match people.
We recap the Undertaker vs. Muhammad Hassan. Muhammad claimed that he was being discriminated against because he couldn’t get a fair shake. He was put in the six way elimination match for the Smackdown Title but Undertaker chased him off. Then Undertaker beat up Daivari, only to have Hassan bring in some men in masks to attack Undertaker (the word terrorist was never said but that’s what they were going for). Since this took place on the day of the London bombings. It did not sit well with a lot of people. Hassan was basically blackballed from UPN, putting his future in jeopardy.
Undertaker vs. Muhammad Hassan
For the #1 contendership and Hassan is carried to the ring by the masked men on a sedan. Before the match, Hassan talks about how unfair everything is and how he’ll prove himself tonight. The masked men surround the ring after Undertaker shows up and the dodging is on in a hurry. Undertaker finally grabs him by the throat and throws Hassan into the corner for the right hands.
A clothesline drops Hassan for two and a Downward Spiral is good for two. Daivari shouts a lot so Undertaker stares down at him, followed by another glare to put the referee on the floor. The distraction lets Daivari pull Hassan away from a big boot and one of the masked men gets in some shots on the floor.
Back in and Hassan gets two off a DDT and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and a single right hand puts Hassan down. Undertaker stops to go after some masked men though and gets beaten down again as they desperately try to give Hassan a chance. The camel clutch is broken up in a hurry but one of the masked men comes in and gets beaten up as well. Snake Eyes drops Hassan, Undertaker beats up all of the masked men and the chokeslam is good for the pin.
Rating: D. At this point, I’d take anything that was even pretty good or had anything resembling life. Another bad and dull match here with Undertaker beating up six people with no real trouble. Hassan was dead in the water as soon as the terrorist angle took place and this was just a matter of time. At least they kept it short enough, but I still feel horrible for Hassan. He did his job and had his career derailed because of all of these things out of his control.
Post match Undertaker beats up the masked men, Daivari and Hassan. With that out of the way (after a long time), it’s a Last Ride through the stage to write Hassan off for good. I know he wasn’t great, but he should have had a chance to fail on his own instead of being thrown out for the company’s bad idea. They do show Hassan laying on the concrete and convulsing a bit, just for some bonus effect.
Torrie Wilson promises to give the troops something special tonight.
As Hassan is taken out on a stretcher, it’s time for the next match.
Blue World Order vs. Mexicools
It’s the big wheels vs. the lawnmowers, though the Mexicools have rakes so they…..win? I think? Juvy dances away from Nova to start and everything breaks down early on. The blue guys clear the ring and pose, until Juvy hits a springboard spinwheel kick to the back of Nova’s head. Crazy knocks Nova down for two and it’s back to Juvy for a seated abdominal stretch. Nova finally kicks him away and brings in Stevie to the silence you might have expected. Everything breaks down and Stevie misses a charge in the corner, setting up Psicosis’ guillotine legdrop for the pin.
Rating: D-. Were you expecting anything else? The match was thrown onto the card to give the fans a breather after seeing Hassan murdered on television. The wrestling was basically non-existent and the right team won, but this would have felt out of place on Smackdown, let alone on a pay per view.
We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio, which is all about the fact that Eddie can’t beat Rey. Therefore, Eddie has snapped and gone insane with jealousy, eventually dragging Rey’s family into the whole thing. He has some kind of secret over Rey’s head and if he wins tonight, the secret is out. If Rey wins though, the secret is locked away forever. Or until next week in wrestling logic.
Rey tells his son Dominick that it’ll be ok.
Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero
Rey’s son Dominick is at ringside. Before the bell, Eddie demands a handshake to show Dominick what kind of a man Rey is. The bell rings and the beating is on in a hurry with Rey hitting a clothesline but getting knocked down without much effort. Rey gets two off a backslide and stops a charging Eddie with an elbow to the jaw. An atomic drop cuts Rey off and Dominick is looking nervous.
Rey evens things up with a crotching on top, setting up a super hurricanrana for two. Another hurricanrana sets up a 619 to the ribs and the springboard seated senton gets two more. Eddie has a breather on the floor and hides behind Dominick, which goes as well with Rey as you might expect. Even Tazz thinks that’s too far as Eddie gets in a cheap shot and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Rey back inside.
Eddie goes back to ringside to glare at Dominick some more, followed by a hard whip into the corner to work on Rey’s back again. Another backbreaker gives Eddie three straight near falls and the frustration is on in a hurry. Rey counters another backbreaker into a rollup for two so Eddie grabs the Gory Stretch. With Rey down, Eddie goes to check on Dominick again, allowing Rey to kick him in the face for some near falls.
A tornado DDT gives Rey a delayed two and the comeback is on. The 619 connects to set up the West Coast Pop but Eddie powerbombs him out of the air. Rey rolls out of frog splash range but he can’t do anything else. Two Amigos into a brainbuster let Eddie look down at Rey again and the frog splash connects….but Rey reverses into a crucifix for the pin out of nowhere.
Rating: B-. Dominick destroyed whatever they had going here as you can only cut back to him so many times before I never want to see him again. We reached that point about five minutes into the match so they kept doing it over and over again. It’s the best match of the night so far, but given the low bar that has to clear, it isn’t exactly an accomplishment. The story took a bad turn here and I don’t know if they’re going to be able to get anything back.
Post match, Eddie is stunned and looks to swear more revenge.
JBL isn’t happy with Batista embarrassing him so many times lately and promises to teach Batista a lesson like never before.
Melina vs. Torrie Wilson
Bra and panties match with Candice Michelle as guest referee for reasons of three instead of two. They brawl to start and Torrie grabs an abdominal stretch to pull off Melina’s shirt. A try for the pants gets Torrie kicked to the floor so Melina throws her back in and evens the score. Candice yells at Melina for choking so Melina drops an elbow instead. Torrie makes the comeback with some clotheslines but still can’t get the pants. A hot shot lets Melina get the rather easy win.
Rating: F. Yeah we get it. These matches just do not work in a world where Torrie has already been in Playboy so it’s not like this has any reason to exist other than to hook teenagers without good internet access. This was everything you would expect it to be and then even less.
Post match Melina jumps Candice so it’s a stripping for Melina as well. Oh and Candice strips as well.
We recap Batista vs. JBL. John Cena and the WWE Championship went to Raw in the Draft so we needed a new champ. JBL won the inaugural Smackdown Championship but Batista moved over, meaning JBL was just a #1 contender. That wasn’t cool with JBL, who yelled at Batista a lot and bragged about being a real American. It’s a feud where they have done everything well enough but the lack of drama has hurt things a lot.
Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Batista
Batista is defending. They circle each other to start until JBL gets shoved away off a lockup. Another shove lets Batista pose as they’re not exactly starting fast. JBL knocks him into the corner and hits a right hand, only to get clotheslined outside in a hurry. Back in and Batista’s side slam gets two but JBL runs him down with a shoulder out of the corner.
Another clothesline puts JBL on the floor though as this has been mostly Batista so far. JBL tries to dive off the apron and gets rammed back first into said apron for his efforts. Back in and Batista gets sent shoulder first, followed by a big boot right back to the floor. They go over the announcers’ table in a heap and JBL hits a jumping right hand off the table for a knock down.
That’s good for two back inside, followed by choking and an elbow for two more. Batista’s comeback is countered into a long form sleeper until Batista suplexes his way to freedom. They head outside for about the 14th time and Batista is sent knees first into the steps. The big running clothesline puts both of them over the barricade though and Batista hammers away again.
Back in and the ref gets bumped, because that’s what this match needed. The spinebuster plants JBL but Orlando Jordan comes in with a chair to Batista’s back. That and a big boot give JBL a very delayed two and the Clothesline From JBL gets….nothing as that referee really can’t take a hit. Batista grabs another spinebuster, backdrops Jordan to the floor, and hits the shoulders in the corner. Jordan tries to come in again so Batista grabs a chair and blasts them both for the DQ, because THIS needs a rematch.
Rating: D-. Another lifeless match with Batista being better than JBL at everything JBL does. Then I had to put up with Jordan in another match and more JBL promos are coming as we probably take this to Summerslam. Batista didn’t even look that dominant and the match was long, sluggish and felt way too similar to the same story of Batista vs. HHH/Ric Flair.
Post match Batista doesn’t like the decision so he Batista Bombs JBL to end the show. Oh wait as Cole has to thank the troops. If this is their gift, it would seem that WWE hates them very much.
Overall Rating: F. This seems appropriate as I’m rather tempted to say various words that start with an F over and over after watching this show. This was HORRIBLE and one of the worst shows I’ve seen in a very long time with nothing showing any energy, some complete wastes of time, some questionable booking decisions and a terrible main event that dares to suggest we might want to see it again. It’s a complete disaster on almost every front and I can’t imagine it actually going worse. Horrible stuff here.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
IMG Credit: WWE
Smackdown
Date: July 21, 2005
Location: First Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash and that means things are mostly set in stone. There are a lot of things that can be built up a bit better though and Sunday’s show could use a bit of that. The show isn’t looking too bad aside from the main event, which is little more than a way for Batista to get his first title defense as Smackdown Champion. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
The opening video is paid for by Friends Of JBL. Everything started for him last year and now it’s time for him to get the title back. Tonight, we get his victory celebration for Sunday’s title victory.
Opening sequence.
Rey Mysterio vs. Super Crazy
Back from a break with Eddie on commentary and Rey hammering away in the corner. Eddie uses the time to explain that he’s just doing all this because he loves Rey. Crazy sends Rey out of the corner and the waistlock goes on. As Eddie gets angrier and angrier, Crazy grabs the Rocking Horse to work on all the limbs. That’s broken up so Crazy puts on a seated abdominal stretch.
With that not lasting long, they chop it out as Eddie talks about being the man of the house. The springboard spinning crossbody gives Rey two and a headscissors into the corner is good for the same. Another springboard is broken up though and Crazy gets two off a springboard moonsault. Rey is right back with a headscissors into 619 position, drawing Eddie in with a rake (stolen from Psicosis) to Rey’s back for the DQ.
Rating: C. This was long but they did the smart thing by not having either of them take a fall. They seem to have plans for the Mexicools so having them lose this early would be a bad idea. Eddie was going even crazier on commentary and it makes the heel turn work that much more. He can be all sinister in his regular promos but now he’s breaking down into just pure obsession and madness.
Post break Eddie is going to leave but Theodore Long says not so fast. Eddie is wrestling tonight against a mystery opponent.
Christian brags about beating Booker T. last week and promises to beat him again on Sunday. If Josh Matthews doesn’t like it, go back to his parent’s house and his basement room and complain about it on the internet. Booker is going to be a two time two time loser.
Heidenreich reads Animal a poem about feeling Hawk’s presence and how big of a chance this is. Animal says Heidenreich is more like Hawk than he thought. Heidenreich: “What a rush.” Oh give me a break.
JBL is a Great American. Like Neil Armstrong.
Animal/Heidenreich vs. Nick Berk/Julio Dinero
Powerslam and Doomsday Device finish in thirty seconds. MNM is shown panicking in the back.
Raw Rebound.
Eddie Guerrero vs. ???
It’s…..Chris Benoit, because that’s as much of a guaranteed good match as you can get. Before the match, Eddie tries to run so Benoit calls him in, saying they’ve been close friends for years. Eddie gets back in and decks Benoit to start in a hurry. A chair is brought in but the referee takes it away, only to have Eddie kick Benoit low for an early two. Eddie’s boot rake over the face but Benoit snaps off a German suplex as we take a break.
Back with Eddie wrapping the knee around the post and sending him face first into the announcers’ table. Eddie cranks on the leg and puts on a leglock, sending Benoit rolling over to the ropes. Benoit fights up and tries the Sharpshooter but the knee gives out. That means the leglock goes right back on so Benoit makes it to the ropes again, though a bit more slowly this time.
Eddie goes up but gets headbutted and superplexed back down, with Benoit busted open after the headbutts. Being the smart villain, Eddie kicks at the cut but Benoit snaps off the rolling German suplex for a double knockdown. The Swan Dive gets a delayed two with Eddie getting a boot on the rope. Back up and Eddie tries the Three Amigos, only to get reversed into the Crossface. Eddie is in the ropes within about two seconds….and takes the countout.
Rating: B. That’s about the standard for these two as they don’t know how to have a bad match. They’re one of the best pairings you can find and it was no exception here. This was the second match in a row where you don’t want either of them taking a fall so it was the right way to go. I could get used to this thinking things through concept.
Post match Rey jumps Eddie and beats him up on the stage.
We look back at Undertaker beating up Muhammad Hassan’s attorney last week.
Here’s Candice Michelle for a special announcement: the Great American Bash will be available for free to the military. Yeah we already knew that. Cue Melina, who isn’t happy that Candice is guest referee for Melina vs. Torrie Wilson on Sunday. Melina doesn’t like Candice and goes for her clothes, only to have Torrie run in for the save. Candice is so humiliated that she dances a bit.
Video on the Great American Bash press conference.
Booker T. vs. Simon Dean
Simon says Sharmell goes to the buffet line five times, five times, five times, five times, five times and the beating is on in a hurry. Booker doesn’t waste time and punches, kicks and kicks some more, setting up the ax kick for the pin in a hurry.
Post match Booker says Christian is just like that Richard Simmons Tae Bo wannabe.
JBL is a Great American. Like Ronald Reagan.
The Boogeyman is coming.
Long video on Guerrero vs. Mysterio.
Great American Bash rundown, with the Blue World Order vs. the Mexicools added.
It’s time for JBL’s victory celebration, meaning the ring is covered in red, white and blue. Orlando Jordan handles the introduction and the confetti cannons go off. JBL looks like Uncle Sam/Apollo Creed and comes to the ring in an open topped Cadillac just to complete the visual. He talks about some great Americans and brags about how awesome America is.
We take over countries because we can and because we should, since might has always been right. We do give to the poor nations who need a handout, but some Americans are weak. Like Batista, who ran away from JBL at Wrestlemania like a coward. JBL isn’t happy about Batista being on the cover of Smackdown Magazine. This is his show, but don’t worry because next month, there will be a new issue on the newsstand.
We see a new cover, with JBL holding the title over a fallen Batista. On Sunday, Batista is getting put down because there are legends and Hall of Famers, but there is only one wrestling god. Cue Batista to call JBL out for looking like an idiot. Batista calls him a phony and a bully so on Sunday, JBL is getting exposed. The fight is on and Batista cleans house, including putting on the Uncle Sam hat and jacket to end the show. They’re trying to do something with this, but JBL is little more than target practice for Batista and Guerrero vs. Mysterio is the real main event and they aren’t trying to hide it.
Overall Rating: C-. This show ran into the problem of not being able to do anything else with Mysterio vs. Guerrero. The story has been set up for a few weeks now and there isn’t anything left for them to do with it. Batista vs. JBL isn’t doing anything for me, but Christian vs. Booker should be good and…..yeah two matches are enough to carry a show, right? Not a great show here, but Eddie vs Benoit got us far enough.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at: