IMG Credit: WWE

It’s kind of a big deal.

We’re finally here. It’s that time of year again and as weird as it is to have a two day Wrestlemania, I’m going to need two days to preview this whole thing. This is one of those VERY stacked cards (read as Wrestlemania) and that means we are going to be seeing a lot, albeit without any fans in front of them. This could mean a lot but we’re coming into this so differently that I’m only going to be able to guess how some of these things are going. Let’s get to it.

A preview for a show wouldn’t take six pages. As is almost always the case, these shows are just too long and I don’t think the two nights idea is going to make it better. Maybe the shows can make up for it (and they certainly could, just like last year’s did), but I can’t help sighing when I look at that very long card. That being said, it’s still Wrestlemania and that alone puts it on a different level. Have some fun and enjoy your weekend because there will never be another one like it.

IMG Credit: WWE

This time….for sure?

And we’ll wrap it up (maybe) with this, as the Royal Rumble winner gets to headline the show. Lesnar has been champion so many times and for so many days now that it is hard to imagine him losing again here. That being said, and it has been said many times before, Lesnar has been champion for so long that it would be nice to see him doing ANYTHING else besides another lengthy Lesnar title reign.

McIntyre has to win here because it would be up there with Reigns losing back in 2018. Just go with what makes sense here and have McIntyre kick Lesnar’s head off. At some point you need to just push someone as the next big star and that is where we are with McIntyre. He might bomb as champion but you can only have Lesnar keep the title warm for so long and we passed that point years ago. McIntyre wins here and we move on from there, but he has to win the title first.

IMG Credit: WWE

Now why did it take them this long?

It’s another match that hasn’t been announced yet, even though Roman Reigns himself has already announced that he won’t be wrestling on the show due to health concerns. There is nothing wrong with that whatsoever, but there is something wrong with WWE advertising him up until the night before WrestleMania when they know he won’t be there. There isn’t time for a tweet, a website article, a voiceover? Not a single thing in all that TV time they have to fill?

I keep thinking that this should be a layup answer, but then I can’t decide which one is the layup. In theory it should be obvious that Goldberg loses and goes back to whatever he does when he isn’t on another WWE run but the idea of Strowman actually winning the title doesn’t seem possible. They have had so many chances to do it before and I’m not sure I can picture it happening here. I’ll go with Strowman, but I won’t believe it until I see it.

IMG Credit: WWE

This could be wacky.

This is your other on location match and I’m not sure what that is going to mean. It would seem to be a match taking place in the Firefly Fun House, which hopefully isn’t treated as some mystical place after Seth Rollins attacked it at one point last year. The match could be a heck of a mind trip if they let some creative people work on it and really, that is the best thing you can do in something like this. Having the Fiend just come out there and wrestle doesn’t really work, so let it be all zany.

There is no reason to give Cena the win here as odds are he is gone after WrestleMania anyway. The Fiend could be a heck of a monster down the line, perhaps even getting his win back from Goldberg (which was TOTALLY necessary) down the line. This should be a big win for Fiend, as Cena can fight back but ultimately fall to the Mandible Claw, because we need to build Fiend back up. Again.

IMG Credit: WWE

BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

Here’s your other personal match, along with your “what does that mean” match. This is a Bone Yard match, which sounds like something that is going to be taking place on location in a cemetery, which might not be the best name to use in the current world. It also seems to be more like BikerTaker than Dead Man Undertaker, which makes a lot of sense. If you’re in a small building with no fans, the Undertaker mystique goes away.

As for the match itself, I’ll go with Undertaker because it’s Wrestlemania, but I’m having some issues with making myself care about it. I’ve never been hue on the biker character but it’s something different and given the situation, it’s the right move. If nothing else, just mixing things up after another sixteen year run with the Dead Man is a good idea. It could be a solid brawl, but I’m not exactly intrigued.

IMG Credit: WWE

Too little too late?

Dang this would have had fans drooling a few years ago. Now though, Zayn is banged up and more annoying than anything else but it’s still nice to see him finally get a title reign like this. At the same time you have the rather interesting Bryan/Drew Gulak pairing, which could go in a few different and entertaining directions. This match could as well, but I think I know which it is.

Remember that after this show is over, WWE is going to have some TV time to fill. Over on Smackdown, I think there might be some mileage out of having Bryan, as the new Intercontinental Champion, pick an opponent and go out there to fill in twenty or so minutes every week. He’ll have to win the title in the first place here though and I think that is what happens here.

IMG Credit: WWE

They’re the new generation.

The deeper we get into this the more difficult they become. Back in November/December of last year, they had no choice but to make Ripley into the star. She was over, she was nailing the matches and there was nothing to hold her back. That should be the case again in the biggest match of her career, but there is one problem: it’s Charlotte, who gets more pushes and title reigns than any woman in history, seemingly because she’s Charlotte. She’s better than most women, but we have seen it so many times now (including with the NXT Women’s Title) that I don’t think we need to see it again.

For once I’ll give WWE the benefit of the doubt and hope that they will go with what makes sense, which would be Ripley retaining. Charlotte absolutely does not need this title and while Ripley got the big win over Baszler, having her lose to Charlotte here would take a lot of that status away. It doesn’t make sense to do that and while I’m sure WWE will be tempted to do so, I think they’ll do the right thing and keep the title on Ripley.

IMG Credit: WWE

Three out of six ain’t bad?

So here we have a scheduling issue as the match is already going to be changed to something else, but since I’m putting this together early, the best I can do is go off of spoilers. The word on the street is that the triple threat tag team ladder match turns into a triple threat singles ladder match for the titles. The good thing is that doesn’t change my pick.

The champs retain here because that’s one of WWE’s favorite booking tropes: have the champs lost over and over and over but hey they win in the title match so everything else is forgotten. At the same time, the Usos and New Day have been champions so many times already and neither of them need the belts again. Let Miz and Morrison win, and then have them win a few more times on top of that so they can look like champions for a bit.

IMG Credit: WWE

No, it won’t be Tamina.

This is another instance where the champ has cleaned out the division but in this case I could buy most of the challengers taking the title. WWE would be crazy to not try and push Evans at some point, Naomi has been pushed before, Banks and Bayley are joined at the hip forever and then there’s that other person in the match who seems to have video of Vince tickling a judge with a rubber duck. I’m not sure where this goes and that’s a nice feeling.

For some reason I want to say Evans wins here, but this seems like a setup for another Bayley vs. Banks feud so I’ll take Bayley retaining. Maybe she stabs Banks in the back to win it or maybe it’s the opposite, but for the sake of this I’ll say Bayley keeps the belt. It won’t be for much longer though as she needs something else to do, but she has gotten something out of this reign and that’s a good thing.

IMG Credit: WWE

Hang on a second though.

Yeah let’s just get this one out of the way early. It’s one of those matches that you have nightmares about but at the same time, I’m almost curious to see how bad this can actually be. This is your nightmare show of the year and my goodness it could be incredible in one way or….well ok there isn’t another on there because this isn’t going to work, but that might be the case for another reason.

I don’t think Elias is working this match. They did the big injury angle last week and I think you know where this is going: Rob Gronkowski takes his place and gets his win over Corbin. As much as I could go for seeing Corbin lose, I think Gronkowski might be even more annoying. This is something that we’re just going to have to get through because Gronkowski has personality, which is code for he’s one of those people you want to see get tasered and throw off a bridge in Louisiana. Somehow this might be worse, but at least this should be short.