Smackdown – December 2, 2004: The Teacher Has Left The Room

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 2, 2004
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re finally into December and things have been a near nightmare around here as of late. With a combination of the Tough Enough stuff taking over the show and very limited wrestling, I’m not sure what is supposed to make me want to keep watching the thing. That has never stopped WWE before though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

JBL and the Cabinet (complete with the Bashams being named the Co-Secretaries of Defense) arrive late with Theodore Long not being happy. Tonight the Bashams can face Booker T. and Eddie Guerrero while JBL and Orlando Jordan can face the Undertaker. Two matches made in less than two minutes. Not too shabby.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam/Torrie Wilson vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree/Hiroko

Fallout from last week’s brawl which started over Kenzo oogling Torrie. Hiroko shoves Torrie before the bell and strikes the Crane Kick pose because we need more stereotypes in this one. Rob and Rene start things off but hang on as Dupree needs to bow to Suzuki first. We get what looks like one of the same sequences Van Dam used to do with Jerry Lynn until Rene is sent to the floor.

That leaves the women to come in and roll over Kenzo, who likes it so much that he swivels his hips. Rey loads up a 619 on Hiroko but walks into a spinebuster, followed by the French Tickler. Rey is back up and plants Rene, setting up a Five Star from Van Dam so Rey can grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D-. I have no idea what the point of this was other than stretching us out for another week before we get to what should be a layup of a title change at the pay per view. The match was barely a thing and focused way too much on the stupid Kenzo angle. He hasn’t been interesting since he debuted and that isn’t going to change with having a thing for Torrie.

After that waste of time, here are the Tough Enough guys for their weekly shindig. Ryan Reeves isn’t quitting due to his broken ribs so let’s look at who each person wants voted off.

Mizanin wants Puder gone because he’s a suckup and hasn’t actually fought in the UFC.

Reeves wants Puder gone for not wanting to be a wrestler and only being here to get himself over in MMA.

Smith wants Puder gone for being too overconfident.

Puder wants Smith off because he’s been on other shows before and doesn’t want to be a wrestler.

Ryan Reeves is voted off. That leaves us with three, and next week another will be voted off. The remaining two will box at Armageddon, but there’s another competition tonight. This week: they get to dress like women.

Hiroko doesn’t like Kenzo wanting Torrie and since her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, she wants Torrie in a bra and panties match next week.

Charlie Haas vs. Jesus

Before the bell, Carlito gets in the ring and says he doesn’t like Charlie hogging up the women like Jackie and Dawn Marie. Carlito hits on Jackie and puts his hand on her shoulder so Charlie grabs him, meaning it’s a beatdown from Jesus. Haas gets posted and chained in the chest. No match.

Post match Long yells at Carlito and Jesus, the latter of whom gets to have a street fight against John Cena at Armageddon.

Raw Rebound.

Michelle McCool stretches with Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. She feels some negative energy though and the tensions seem ready to boil over. They argue over losing title shots but Michelle calms them down before their tag match later. At least she has a few perks.

Basham Brothers vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

JBL is out for commentary with Jordan at his side. After a quick argument over who gets to start, Booker knocks Doug into the corner and stomps him down. A running clothesline puts Doug on the floor and we take a break. Back with Eddie leg lariating Danny into the corner for some stomping of his own.

Some double teaming lets the Bashams take over so Eddie snaps off a hurricanrana to get himself out of trouble. Eddie feeds Doug into a side kick from Booker for two but the referee yells at Eddie, allowing the Bashams to take over again. We cut over to JBL ranting about how awesome of an athlete he is as the Bashams take turns on Booker.

The flapjack plants Doug and Eddie comes in as JBL threatens lawsuits over commentary criticizing him. Everything breaks down and Eddie low bridges Doug but sends Booker to the floor at the same time by mistake. The argument is on and Danny knocks Eddie into Booker from behind. We’ll get to the explosion later, but for now it’s a rollup with ropes to give Danny the pin.

Rating: C. The Bashams have had one match as part of the Cabinet and they’re already about 18485% better than Jordan. They look better, they’re actually effective in the ring and they didn’t need three chinlocks to get them through a nine minute match. This was all it needed to be and Eddie vs. Booker could be good once we’re done with the pay per view.

Post match JBL Clotheslines Eddie and Booker.

Kurt Angle Invitational: Kurt Angle vs. Sebastian McCauley

Angle Slam and ankle lock in less than a minute.

Post match Angle has Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns join him in the ring because he wants to make something right. Now he wants Joy Giovanni in the ring because she was embarrassed last week. Reigns apologizes for last week with the Thanksgiving meal because he got carried away. As an apology, he offers her dinner tonight, his treat of course.

Joy accepts the apology but says she already has dinner plans with Big Show. Angle thinks that’s insulting to the three of them so Reigns gets more aggressive in asking about that dinner. Cue Big Show for the save and a challenge to fight all three of them at once but the bad guys bail.

We look back at last week’s Christmas in Iraq.

And now, the Tough Enough contestants in drag. Mizanin is in a Metallica shirt, Daisy Duke shorts and has a six pack of Miller Lite. As a bonus, he even does the slow lean into the ring ala Stacy Keibler. The other two are just guys in drag with little effort. Cue Hardcore Holly (Cole: “If anyone was homophobic, it would be Hardcore Holly.”) to say these are some ugly women.

They each have thirty seconds to prove that Holly is the object of their affections, which is too far for Holly. Snow: “Are you saying you’re not tough enough?”

Holly actually stays and Michelle Mizanin (just go with it) asks if he likes whips and chains. He leans over and asks if Hardcore can smack that and thankfully the time is up.

Justina Smith talks about speaking with Hardcore’s mama, who says he likes lobsters. For a present, he pulls out a bottle of “crunk juice”….and a live lobster. Snow: “GIVE ME THE MIC!”

Daniella Puder has a Puder Bear and admires the way Holly fills out his trunks.

Mizanin wins, ending one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever seen as a wrestling fan. Thankfully Holly punches Snow out for putting him through all this.

Armageddon rundown.

Here’s Dawn Marie to say that her sexy Santa outfit is better than Jackie’s earlier tonight. Jackie runs out and the brawl is on. Long comes out and makes a match between the two of them at Armageddon with Haas as guest referee.

Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Orlando Jordan

The Bashams are banned from ringside but Amy Weber is given a chair. Jordan starts for the team as JBL chills on the floor, looking rather terrified. The threat of a right hand sends JBL bailing off the apron but Jordan’s kick to the face just annoys Undertaker again. A trip to the floor lets Undertaker beat up Jordan some more, followed by a Downward Spiral for two back inside.

JBL makes the save and gets Snake Eyes into a big boot and the bad guys are sent outside in a heap to end us to a break. Back with Undertaker hitting a side slam for two on Jordan with JBL making another save. The apron legdrop crushes JBL and the jumping clothesline drops Jordan. The Last Ride is broken up with a big boot so JBL is willing to come in, allowing Undertaker to grab a legbar. Jordan stomps away, making Cole think he could be champion one day. Thankfully a DDT cuts off that nonsense and it’s time for the double chokeslam, drawing a low blow from JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. That’s only because it wasn’t as bad as the first match. This feud has been a disaster and this match didn’t do it any favors with a long, boring beatdown from Undertaker until HAHA LOW BLOW for the finish. You really can’t have Jordan take a chokeslam for the pin? His whole job is to take a beating and that can’t be the finish?

Post match Undertaker comes back and beats them up some more until the Bashams come in. The big beatdown leaves Undertaker laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. The Basham Brothers were the best thing about this show. The build to Armageddon is almost entirely based on the four way and the Tag Team Titles, meaning Kenzo and Dupree are one four of the pay per view build. Other than that, you have Angle vs. Show, which is fine but something we just recently covered. Dawn vs. Jackie is good for eye candy but I need something with a little more substance. The less said about Tough Enough the better.

Right now Smackdown feels like a classroom where the teacher put a movie on and hoped for the best. It might keep a few people quiet, but there is nothing for the majority of the people there. I’m sure it’s going to get better when the Rumble season starts, but until then we’re stuck with this no effort show and it’s making me long for the days of Maven being a focal point of Raw.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Major League Wrestling Fusion – April 27, 2019: A Much Needed Break

IMG Credit: WWE

Fusion #55
Date: April 27, 2019
Location: Melrose Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jim Cornette, Rich Bocchini

We’re still in New York and that means it’s time for Jim Cornette’s head to continue exploding. The main event this week isn’t your usual violent brawl, as this one is a different kind of brawl. In this case it’s a tables match between the Dynasty and the Hart Foundation, which has been a rather nice feud. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Richard Holliday and Alexander Hammerstone are leaving the building and find that the Hart Foundation have trashed their car again.

Opening sequence.

The National Openweight Title is coming. Seems to be a midcard title.

Jordan Oliver vs. Kotto Brazil

Oliver takes him into the corner to start so Kotto comes out with a dropkick. Cornette is too busy trying to figure out why Brazil losing an eye in a bar fight isn’t treated as a bigger deal as Kotto hits a dive to the floor. The charge only hits the post though and Oliver goes very evil by going after the good eye. A spinning kick to the face sets up a chinlock but Brazil pops up and hits a hurricanrana.

The Blockbuster into a frog splash gives Kotto two but here are Ricky Martinez and Salina de la Renta for a distraction. Oliver’s Stunner gets two so Brazil hits one of his own to send Jordan to the floor. That means a suicide dive and a second one makes it even worse for Jordan. Martinez breaks up the third so Kotto hits an even better one to take Martinez out. Back in and Jordan hits a springboard cutter (that looked good) for the upset pin at 6:32.

Rating: C-. There was a lot going on here and the ending works fine as Brazil lost thanks to a pair of interferences. The problem though is Jordan looks like he weighs about 110lbs and has arms that Adam Cole would find skinny. The match was the usual entertaining stuff from Kotto, but Jordan’s look was rather distracting throughout.

Avalanche Robert Dreissker is getting a World Title shot at some point in the future.

Avalanche is coming for the title.

The Dynasty has attacked Brian Pillman and Pillmanized his arm in the most poetic attack you can ask for.

Ace Austin vs. Rey Horus

They take their time to start as Cornette talks about how he is under the middleweight limit for the first time in forever. Austin’s headlock doesn’t get him very far so he poses instead, earning himself a dropkick into the corner. Horus starts speeding things up for a few near falls and Austin wants a handshake. Thankfully Horus is smart enough to turn that down but Austin kicks him in the ribs to take over.

A German suplex doesn’t work so Austin hits a belly to back slam and a kick to the head. They head outside with Austin firing off kicks to the chest, followed by knees to the ribs back inside. Since a luchador is involved, Austin has to go after the mask (it’s a requirement) and for once it actually comes off. Horus knocks him off the top though and gets the mask back on but Austin stays on him in the corner.

We get an inset update saying that Pillman is likely out of the main event (Quick, to the point, doesn’t distract from the match that much. Well done.) and come back with Horus hitting a slingshot corkscrew dive to take over. Austin gets posted and kicked in the face as the announcers talk about what it means to lose your mask. The Spanish Fly gives Horus two but Austin kicks him in the face. A double underhook driver gets two but Horus runs the ropes and grabs a super victory roll for the pin at 14:12.

Rating: B. I liked this one a lot but I like both guys so it’s not shocking. Austin looked better here than he has since he started debuting on national shows so he’s definitely moving in the right direction. He was hanging in there with one of the best high fliers around today and the match was a blast. Easily one of the better matches from MLW in quite some time.

We look back at the ending of the first match.

Next week: Salina is in charge.

Salina is ranting on the phone and comes up to Low Ki, who wants to talk about the National Title tournament. She leaves and Low Ki isn’t happy.

Tom Lawlor is ready for Avalanche and hasn’t forgotten about Contra. It’s a great idea to have these promos from the champ every week. Lawlor needs the practice on the mic and the champ should get some kind of attention, even if it’s just forty five seconds, every week. His delivery is getting a little better too.

Hart Foundation vs. Dynasty

Tables match with the Harts coming in at a 3-2 disadvantage. We get through the dueling fan chants before the opening bell to eat up some of the remaining time. Jim: “Rich do you have any naked pictures of your wife?” Rich: “No.” Jim: “Would you like one?” The bell finally rings and Hart jumps MJF from behind, followed by Smith superkicking Holiday. The Harts clear the ring and the fight heads outside with Hart hitting the awesome top rope moonsault.

Hammerstone gets suplexed on the floor and Holiday takes one of his own. Smith takes Holiday inside for some uppercuts and the lifting DDT makes it even worse. MJF and Hammerstone come back in and take the hanging DDT/piledriver combination as the Harts continue to dominate.

A superpowerslam hits MJF and Hart adds the moonsault. Not to be outdone (though he was outdone), Smith adds a top rope headbutt, followed by Hart’s second moonsault for a cover, which Hart thankfully lets go in less than a second. The Dynasty is back in and knocks Smith outside, leaving Hart to take a spike Tombstone. Smith gets back up and grabs a delayed vertical suplex on MJF, at the same time Hammerstone does one to Hart, meaning it’s a suplex off.

Holiday comes back in and the numbers game takes over again. Hart is down on the floor and has to ram his shoulder into the barricade to pop it back into joint. The Dynasty loads up a table but here’s Pillman to even things up a little more, albeit with one good arm. As assisted Canadian Destroyer plants Hammerstone but instead of throwing him through a table, it’s a Doomsday Destroyer to MJF. Holiday uses the delay to come in with a double low blow, allowing Hammerstone to hit the running powerbomb to put Pillman through the table for the win at 11:37.

Rating: C+. The 3-2 stuff was fine and it keeps the Harts looking strong while giving the Dynasty their first big win. This feud has some legs though and the hoss fight between Smith and Hammerstone will be more than enough to keep me entertained. What we got was fun and mainly wrestling instead of brawling, which is long overdue in the main event.

Salina makes Gringo Loco vs. Hijo de LA Park, Daga (“Dumbo”) vs. Low Ki and Pentagon Jr. vs. LA Park for next week.

Overall Rating: B-. Now this was more like it, with a nice mixture of different styles and mostly good action. Throw in a healthy dose of Salina and this was a heck of a show, with a much needed break from the brawling style main event. The stories are getting to grow a little bit and things are becoming more and more entertaining. Check out that Horus vs. Austin match if you get the chance.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Column: Hawkins And Ryder Didn’t Read The Fine Print On The Lockbox Bro

Looking at the difference between logical but boring and entertaining but Russo.

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-hawkins-ryder-didnt-read-fine-print-lockbox-bro/




NXT UK – May 1, 2019: This Kid Has Something

IMG Credit: WWE

NXT UK
Date: May 1, 2019
Location: Pier 12, New York City, New York
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

We’re still in New York and that means it’s hard to say what we’re getting this week. There is however one very big match set up with United Kingdom Champion Walter facing Jordan Devlin in a non-title match. I’ve seen them have a heck of a match elsewhere so I have some high hopes for this one. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Travis Banks vs. Mansoor

Busy day for Mansoor as he was on the regular NXT as well. Banks takes him to the mat and Mansoor demands that the referee get him off as soon as the rope is reached. Mansoor flips out of a wristlock so Banks is right back with a running knee to the face. A trip to the top doesn’t go well for Banks as Mansoor shoves him off the top and possibly bangs up the previously injured shoulder.

Back in and we hit the arm trap chinlock to stay on the arm (showing some intelligence rather than going with the regular chinlock) but Banks is up in a hurry. The running dropkick hits Mansoor in the corner to put him on the floor, setting up a hard suicide dive. Slice of Heaven is broken up though and Mansoor hits a reverse spinning suplex for two. Banks has had it with him though and it’s the Slice of Heaven into the Kiwi Crusher for the pin at 5:57.

Rating: C+. Banks is someone who seems ready to break out at any given time and now he seems to be getting ready to move forward. This place needs some fresh blood on top and people like Banks and Devlin could fill those roles very well. Mansoor is someone else who is showing their potential and I’ve liked what I’ve seen from him today.

Video on Xia Brookside, who is ready to keep fighting after Rhea Ripley beat her up. The bubbly personality continues.

Ilja Draganov is coming. Cool.

Nia Samuels is ready for her revival. I’m not sure if I am.

Piper Niven vs. Reina Gonzalez

They fight over the power game to start with Reina actually driving the bigger Piper into the corner. Piper’s waistlock is broken up by a ram into the corner and Reina kicks her in the back. The chinlock is broken up so Reina goes with more kicks to take her back down. Niven gets smart by sending her outside for a breather and now it’s time for the slugout. Piper gets the better of this one with an ax handle to the chest, setting up a running crossbody. The backsplash gets two and it’s the Michinoku Driver to finish Reina at 5:00.

Rating: C. This was fun with the two of them hitting each other really hard until Niven had to take it up a notch to beat her. Reina looked good again, just like she did in the tournament. The Texan thing works well for her and the gear gives her a unique look that makes her feel like someone different. Fun hoss fight here, which is exactly what they were shooting for.

Kenny Williams and Amir Jordan want a Tag Team Title shot. They don’t get how the Grizzled Young Veterans can’t lead a locker room they know nothing about. That title shot needs to come in Glasgow.

Gallus can’t wait to come home next week.

Next week in Glasgow: Jordan/Williams get their title shot.

Jordan Devlin vs. Walter

Non-title. Walter throws him down with ease to start and Jordan isn’t sure what to do here. Back in and a few shots have no effect and Walter sends Devlin outside again. Back in again and Devlin blocks the sleeper so Walter kicks him in the face. It’s time to start in on the arm with a hammerlock and then a Crossface as it’s all Walter so far.

A suplex sends Devlin outside for the third time but this time he’s able to get a few shots to the knee. Devlin dragon screw legwhips him around the rope and puts on the half crab. Walter powers out and avoids a dropkick to the knee, setting up a seated senton but the knee gets banged up again. The knee is fine enough for a backdrop and a release German suplex gives Walter two.

The powerbomb is countered into a rollup to give Devlin his own two and they’re both down. Devlin strikes away but gets pulled into a hard Saito suplex for two (the referee telling him to kickout probably helped). Walter goes up top so Devlin tries to pull him down into the Saito, which only kind of connects. That’s enough for Walter, who hits the powerbomb for the pin at 12:37.

Rating: B. This worked very well in a Brock Lesnar vs. AJ Styles formula, with Walter dominating until Devlin got in a few shots to slow the monster down and even things up. Devlin has become one of the better names on the roster and I could see him getting a major push down the line, especially if they ever do a taping in Ireland, which is almost a guarantee.

Post match here’s Pete Dunne to demand his rematch. Walter nods to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. These shows are getting more and more interesting as the top starts make for good shows, but so do the lower level names. That’s what works for NXT and it’s working here too because it’s how wrestling should be done. This show felt important, but so did what they did last week. Next week will be the same, and it makes the show something I want to watch. It’s another good show

Results

Travis Banks b. Mansoor – Kiwi Crusher

Piper Niven b. Reina Gonzalez – Michinoku Driver

Walter b. Jordan Devlin – Powerbomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




NXT – May 1, 2019: Nice To See You Japanese Favorite/The Velveteen Dreamiest

IMG Credit: WWE

NXT
Date: May 1, 2019
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness

Things are staying interesting around here and tonight we have the latest import in the form of Kushida, who makes his in-ring debut. As usual he gets to face Kassius Ohno, which should work out well for everyone involved. Throw in the Undisputed Era having some issues and we could be in for a good night. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a quick video on Kushida and how important he is.

Opening sequence.

Forgotten Sons vs. Danny Burch/Oney Lorcan/Humberto Carrillo

Fallout from last week’s brawl. Cutler and Lorcan strike it out to start until a running Blockbuster takes Cutler down. Blake comes in instead and gets uppercutted out to the floor. That means the big dive onto all three Sons and it’s off to Carrillo for a standing moonsault to the legs. The sky high springboard armdrag sends Cutler outside but it’s Ryker coming in off a blind tag to unload on Carrillo. The Sons take turns on Carrillo in the corner with various combinations of stomping.

Ryker’s cobra clutch doesn’t last long and a missed headbutt allows the tag off to Burch. Cutler gets pulled down into the Crossface with Ryker making a save. Everything breaks down and Carrillo’s suicide dive hits Lorcan by mistake. That leaves Burch on his own against all three Sons, which works as well as you would expect. A Polish Hammer drops Burch and Carrillo gets buckle bombed into Cutler’s raised knees. Ryder holds both Carrillo and Burch in a double reverse DDT for top rope knees to the chest (with Ryker dropping them instead of DDTing them) for the pin at 7:33.

Rating: C. Here’s where NXT is so many steps ahead of Raw and Smackdown: the Forgotten Sons weren’t working as they were, so NXT changed things up a bit and turned them into something that did work. They actually fixed the characters instead of throwing up their hands because their first half baked not completely developed idea wasn’t a runaway success. That’s how wrestling is supposed to work, but the biggest wrestling shows don’t get that.

Shanyna Baszler and company don’t like being asked about Io Shirai pinning Baszler so the microphone is slapped away.

Earlier this week, Bianca Belair and Mia Yim yelled at each other at the Performance Center. They’ll fight next week.

Mansoor vs. Dominik Dijakovic

Mansoor is smart enough to duck the cyclone boot and hurricanranas Dijakovic into the corner. A high crossbody is countered into the standing backbreaker and Mansoor is tossed outside, thankfully not breaking his leg as it awkwardly crashes into the barricade. Dijakovic gets two off a splash but Mansoor is right back with a sleeper. That doesn’t work very well so Mansoor goes with a kick to the head. With Dijakovic kneeling, Mansoor jumps onto the leg and uses it as a springboard for another kick. Dijakovic has had it and knocks Mansoor silly, setting up Feast Your Eyes for the pin at 5:12.

Rating: C+. This was a lot better than I was expecting and Mansoor looked good here with a lot of offense. Much like the Sons though, Dijakovic has gotten far better as he’s now just an athletic monster who has said what he wants. You don’t need to go into some huge development. Just feature them and give them impressive wins so people think something of him. It worked with Dijakovic and it would work with pretty much anyone else.

Post match here’s Velveteen Dream on a purple couch, accompanied by some good looking women. He’s heard that Dijakovic had words for him, so Dream has his own….in the form of a personalized version of the Star Spangled Banner, promising to steal the show like he does with his big elbow. Of all the Velveteen Dream things, this was the Velveteen Dreamiest.

We look back at the end of last week’s show with Matt Riddle helping Johnny Gargano against the Undisputed Era.

The Undisputed Era promise to take care of Riddle but bring up Strong’s loss last week. Strong walks away and Bobby Fish follows him, saying Cole’s timing was terrible.

Kassius Ohno vs. Kushida

Kushida gets the big debut entrance and looks just like he did in New Japan, which is a good move as the Back to the Future look is a signature for him. Ohno kicks away a handshake offer and throws the much smaller Kushida into the corner. Kushida’s wristlock is countered into a quickly broken chinlock as the fans are firmly on Kushida’s side. A takedown goes to Kushida, who rides Ohno’s back to mess with him a little bit.

The cartwheel into a basement dropkick rocks Ohno again but he’s right back with the cravate. That’s reversed as well and we have a standoff. The wrestling isn’t working so Ohno kicks him in the face but Kushida is fine enough to come back with a springboard missile dropkick. Ohno’s sitout facebuster gets two and Kushida’s nose is busted open.

The bloody nose doesn’t stop Kushida from coming right back up with a springboard hurricanrana for two. The handspring elbow is cut off with a hard forearm to the back of the head to give Ohno two more. There’s the pump kick to Kushida, who is right back with a running shot to the face. With Ohno rocked, Kushida grabs the Hoverboard Lock (not named) for the tap at 8:07.

Rating: B. Given that Kushida was my favorite New Japan name, I was kind of expecting to like this one and then it lived up to the hype. It was a very good, hard hitting match with Kushida taking everything Ohno could throw at him at and winning in the end. He’s going to be just fine around here and he looked great in his first performance.

Overall Rating: B-. A strong debut, stuff set for next week, no bad matches and angle advancement make the show the usual awesome evening. After watching two mostly bad major TV’s this week, NXT continues to be the big saving grace that fixes so many of my problems in about forty five minutes. Another good show here, and I would expect nothing less.

Results

Forgotten Sons b. Humberto Carrillo/Danny Burch/Oney Lorcan – Top rope knee to Burch

Dominik Dijakovic b. Mansoor – Feast Your Eyes

Kushida b. Kassius Ohno – Hoverboard Lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – November 29, 2004: You Were Expecting Something Clear?

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 29, 2004
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 5,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re in week three of Team Orton running the show and in this case it’s Randy Orton himself in charge. His first order of business: HHH defending the World Title in a battle royal, which should all but guarantee a new champion. Now let’s see how our beloved champion gets to outsmart everyone this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Raw World Title: Battle Royal

Edge, Gene Snitsky, Ric Flair, Steven Richards, Tyson Tomko, Rob Conway, Sylvan Grenier, Jonathan Coachman, Christian, Shelton Benjamin, Viscera, Rhyno, Eugene, Chris Benoit, Maven, Tajiri, Rosey, William Regal, Batista, Chris Jericho, Val Venis, HHH

The fight starts before Batista comes out, so we watch that in full and come back to everyone standing still again. Hold on though as here’s Vince McMahon to say that this isn’t happening due to reasons of anyone can win. Can you imagine someone like Steven Richards as the World Champion? It’s a #1 contenders match instead, but the winner will get their shot tonight so you’re still getting a title match.

Battle Royal

Edge, Gene Snitsky, Ric Flair, Steven Richards, Tyson Tomko, Rob Conway, Sylvan Grenier, Jonathan Coachman, Christian, Shelton Benjamin, Viscera, Rhyno, Eugene, Chris Benoit, Maven, Tajiri, Rosey, William Regal, Batista, Chris Jericho, Val Venis

Everyone starts fighting as Edge chills on the steps without ever having gotten in. Hurricane dives at Viscera for some reason but since Viscera isn’t that bright, he can’t throw him out just yet. A bunch of people get together and toss Viscera, followed by Tajiri eliminating his own partner Rhyno. Tomko is out next and Maven gets rid of Grenier, only to get tossed by Eugene. Back from a break with Benoit and Edge chopping it out in the middle of the ring and Coach having eliminated himself rather than be chopped by Benoit again.

Regal and Rosey both go out at Snitsky’s hands, followed by Batista tossing Hurricane. That means a Snitsky vs. Batista showdown until everyone else breaks it up due to reasons of wrestling stupidity. Batista starts cleaning house, including tossing Eugene, Tajiri, Christian, Venis and Flair in just a few seconds. The fans are WAY into that as we take a break. Back again with Jericho dropkicking Snitsky out, leaving us with Jericho, Benoit, Richards, Edge, Benjamin and Batista.

Richards starts celebrating and gets beaten down to leave us with five. Shelton unloads on Edge in the corner as JR is on fire with the over the top call here. The stomping goes on a bit too long though and Edge sends Benjamin to the apron, setting up a spear for the elimination. Jericho charges at Batista and gets tossed, leaving Benoit to German suplex Edge. Benoit low bridges Batista out though and we’re down to the two Canadians. They both wind up on the apron and fall to the floor for the double elimination.

Rating: D+. So there’s the latest version of the double winner battle royal as we set up a likely triple threat match tonight. The match was far longer than it needed to be, though they got us down to a good collection of talent at the end. Having it come after a bait and switch certainly didn’t help either.

In the back, two referees both tell Randy Orton what they think they saw, which of course is a split decision. The referees leave and Vince comes in to tell Orton that it’s his call. Edge comes in to plead his case, offering Orton a title shot if he gets to face HHH tonight. Orton says he’ll think about it, which isn’t good enough for Edge. The boss leaves and Edge is furious.

Maven is annoyed that he hasn’t won anything in the last few weeks. Eugene comes in and asks for help putting his Tag Team Title on. That’s too far for Maven and Shelton Benjamin has to get between them. After four years of work, Maven doesn’t have anything and Eugene can’t even spell title. Eugene spells title so Maven goes after him, with William Regal breaking it up. Maven sits back down.

Candice Michelle stops Orton to ask if her new dress is appropriate. Orton approves, but here’s Benoit to demand the title shot tonight. Benoit would win the title if he had the chance and so he wants his chance. Orton promises to fix things.

Here’s Orton to fix things. Well in a minute as first he announces Regal/Eugene vs. La Resistance for the Tag Team Titles and Jerry Lawler (the birthday King) vs. Ric Flair. Other than that, we can have a triple threat match with Benoit and Edge challenging HHH for the title. I’ve heard worse ideas, though not many less interesting.

Lawler goes to get ready so Jonathan Coachman takes his place.

Lita/Victoria vs. Molly Holly/Trish Stratus

The villains jump them from behind and it’s Victoria getting suplexed down. Trish comes in to start kicking at the arm as the announcers go over HHH’s odds to retain the title. It’s back to Molly for a swinging neckbreaker as the back of Victoria’s trunks has torn, which is made even worse given how small they were in the first place. Molly cuts off the comeback with a kick to the ribs and it’s a stomping down in the corner.

The running seated dropkick gets two and a running elbow keeps Victoria away from Lita again. The Chick Kick is blocked and now it’s off to Lita, meaning Trish gets to panic. Lita can’t quite hit a running splash in the corner so it’s a snap suplex instead. A sleeper has Trish in trouble but Molly makes the save and sends Victoria outside. Molly gets knocked out as well though and it’s the snap DDT to finish Trish.

Rating: D+. This could have been a lot worse and the fans are wanting to see Lita take Trish’s head off when she gets the chance. It was a smart move to keep things short at Survivor Series, because the build wasn’t quite done just yet. That was some smart storytelling and they could get some extra mileage out of this story for a better result.

Muhammad Hassan and Daivari montage, with clips of their previous rants.

Ric Flair vs. Jerry Lawler

This is billed as a Legends Match. JR mentions Lawler’s resume and major title wins, which is a good thing to bring up every now and then. How many younger fans see Lawler as an old guy and not a wrestler? Lawler mocks the strut to start and gets shoved, so it’s a slap to Flair’s face. Flair gets knocked down and that’s another strut from Lawler. A slugout goes to Lawler and we get the required Flair Flop.

Flair gets in a cheap shot out of the corner and the comeback is on, including the knee drop. The comeback takes all of two seconds as Lawler elbows him in the face and hits the middle rope fist drop. As you probably saw coming though, Lawler bangs up his knee on the way down though and Flair is rather pleased. A chop block sets up the Figure Four with a grab of the ropes to make Lawler tap.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to it but these two know how to do a paint by numbers match in their sleep. The fans are always going to react to Lawler because he’s one of the all time great performers and has forgotten more about working a crowd than most of the modern roster will ever know. Yeah they’re both old and the match was just a quick filler, but you can see the knowledge and talent on full display.

Melina has been signed as the newest Raw Diva and she hugs Orton for giving her the chance. Melina: “If there’s anything I can do to thank you for the favor, let me know.” Maria comes in as well and Orton has an idea. They won’t be wrestling, but they’ll be in the ring doing something.

Wrestlemania Recall: Benoit wins the title.

We get another Shelton Benjamin video, this time talking about all of the drug issues in his hometown. He was in the middle of firefights and got out as soon as he could. Eventually he found his way out through sports, which got him to college.

With the emotional story out of the way, here is Orton, flanked by Maria, Candice and Melina. Orton thinks we need more hot women though so here are Christy Hemme and Stacy Keibler. So why are they here? Lingerie fashion show. There isn’t much to say here as they all strip, they all look good, they dance rather close to Orton and they all get cheered. A group hug wraps it up.

Is this supposed to make us want to like Orton? The tall, handsome wrestler who gets to hit on the gorgeous women that he probably could get regularly? Orton added nothing to this segment and it could have been anyone running the thing to the same result. This was over ten minutes long, or longer than anything but the battle royal tonight. I get the appeal, but could you be a little more subtle with this stuff?

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. William Regal/Eugene

Regal and Eugene are defending. Eugene shoulders Conway down to start as we hear about the lingerie from the previous segment being auctioned off on WWE.com. As I shake my head, it’s Regal coming in and getting taken to the mat in a bit of a surprise. Eugene gets knocked off the apron and it’s time to Hulk Up, after a legal tag of course. House is cleaned but the crowd is dead after the previous segment. The airplane spin has Conway in trouble and the top rope ax handle gets two. Au Revoir is broken up and it’s a Stunner to finish Grenier.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was watchable for such a short match but the lack of a reaction was really noticeable. There’s only so much you can do when your crowd is dead after a segment like the previous one and there was nothing these guys could do. It’s almost like the fans came to a wrestling show to see wrestling and not a long segment that didn’t add anything to the show.

Post match Eugene brings the kids in to celebrate but Maven runs out and sends him into the steps.

Trish thinks Chris Jericho finds the face mask funny but Jericho thinks she looks great. He also finds it funny that she called Lita the walking Kiss of Death but tonight, the walking KOD beat the walking STD. Next week, Lita gets her title shot.

How to bid on lingerie!

Flair and Batista yell at each other over the battle royal. Good thing they waited an hour and a half to have this talk. HHH comes in to rant about the triple threat but both of them calm him down. Batista sounds a little tentative when he says he has HHH’s back.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Benoit vs. Edge

HHH is defending. Benoit goes after Edge as the champ chills in the corner, watching as Edge knocks Benoit to the floor. Back in and HHH knocks Edge to the floor and whips Benoit chest first into the corner for a pair of twos. Edge comes in again and it’s time for Benoit to take over with some alternating chops. A double clothesline puts Edge and HHH on the floor, setting up a double dive to take them both down again as we take a break.

We come back with HHH down on the floor and Benoit putting Edge in the Sharpshooter. HHH’s save attempt is countered into the Crossface but here are Flair and Batista to make the save. Orton comes out to eject both of them, leaving HHH to hit a spinebuster for two on Edge. Benoit comes back in for the suplexes, setting up the Sharpshooter to Edge’s already banged up back.

Instead of immediately saving, HHH posts Orton first and then breaks things up. HHH gets taken down again and it’s more rolling German suplexes on Edge. Benoit goes up top but has to knock Edge away, giving us a ref bump. The chair is brought in but Orton takes it away from HHH and chairs him over the barricade. Edge is back up for the spear, which is countered into a Crossface with another referee running in. That’s reversed with a rollup that doesn’t break the hold, meaning he taps out at the same time the referee counts three for the double finish.

Rating: C+. There was good action but I rolled my eyes a bit at the match having the same kind of ending as the opener, even with the same people. I’m sure this will set up something else down the line, because that’s what this whole story has been since Survivor Series: a bunch of stuff that makes you wait until next time without giving you anything concrete.

The two referees and the two Canadians argue over who wins to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. A bunch of mostly bad wrestling with Orton offering nothing as the boss for the night makes this another weak show. At least something kind of happened in the main event, but we’re sorry because your definitive deal is on another episode. Benoit vs. Edge for the title is what makes sense and if you think that’s what we’re getting, you haven’t been paying enough attention.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




The Jon Moxley Video

Oh I think this is going to get people talking.

 

 

For the uninitiated, Moxley is Dean Ambrose’s indy name and a very, very different person than Ambrose.  Moxley is loud, angry, violent and bloodthirsty, or basically the character that WWE signed and then cut the legs out from underneath.  There are all kinds of things in the video that could mean something:

Escaping from prison (Or maybe an asylum?)

Being chased by a Big Dog

Dice on the wall

The Viper Room (I know it’s a real place)

And probably more than I’m missing.  Ambrose showing up at Double Or Nothing wouldn’t shock me, though he would instantly be the biggest name on the roster.  If that’s what he wants to do then good for him, but it’s quite the place to be in such a hurry.




Smackdown – April 30, 2019: Bring The Fire Again

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 30, 2019
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

Things are starting to come back together around here as we have the first challenger to Kofi Kingston’s Smackdown World Title. Last week Kevin Owens turned on Kingston in a not very surprising yet still well done moment. The match will likely be announced tonight, as will the Money in the Bank participants. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Michael Cole brings Kofi Kingston to the ring to start things off. We look at Kofi’s performance in the Elimination Chamber and the second gauntlet match. Kofi talks about how none of this happens without Big E. and Xavier Woods because they proved that the impossible is possible. Cole calls the win over Daniel Bryan maybe the greatest Wrestlemania moment ever (uh, hang on a second now) and we see a clip of the title win.

Kofi calls it the greatest moment of his life, next to the birth of his children and his wedding day. With that comes people gunning for him though, which leads us to a clip of Kevin Owens attacking him last week. Kofi agrees that he probably should have seen this coming but the New Day believes in letting people change if they want to. At the end of the day though, Kevin Owens is going to be Kevin Owens.

If Owens wanted a title shot, all he had to do is ask. Last week, Kevin said he was coming for the title so let him come, say at Money in the Bank. This brings out Owens, who says challenge accepted. Owens talks about how the moment from Wrestlemania is fleeting and everyone knows Kofi isn’t championship material. Cue Woods to jump Owens from behind but Owens superkicks him down, leaving Kofi to chase him off.

Post break, Kofi talks to Woods, saying that Woods has a family to think about and can’t get hurt like this. Kofi appreciates everything but he has this.

Becky Lynch vs. Bayley

Non-title, though Bayley is now in Money in the Bank. Feeling out process to start and an exchange of knockdowns takes us to a break. Back with Bayley blocking the jumping kick to the head and hitting a running knee to the head for two. That’s shrugged off though as Bayley runs into an elbow and walks into a missile dropkick to give Becky two of her own. A double clothesline knocks them both down again but it’s Bayley up with a belly to back suplex. The top rope elbow hits knees though and Becky Disarms-Her for the tap at 8:30.

Rating: C-. Why yes, it is dumb to put Bayley into a prominent role at Money in the Bank and then have her lose clean to the champion that she is looking to challenge later on here. This could have been any woman on the roster or just some jobber, but instead we get Bayley losing because WWE wants to talk about building momentum in matches between Money in the Bank participants but here it means nothing.

Post match Charlotte runs in to kick Becky in the face and send her into the post. Phillips: “At Money in the Bank, Becky Lynch must do the impossible.” What’s impossible about it? Winning twice in one night? AJ Styles did it last week. Choose your words better there people.

Aleister Black talks about people trying to conquer their fear against him, until the referee counts 1-2-3 in his favor. Looking into the abyss behind his eyes unveils a truth about themselves, which allows them to fade to Black.

Here are the Hardys, including the injured Jeff, to address the future of the Tag Team Titles. Jeff is asked what happened and says it’s easier to show us. We see a clip of Lars Sullivan attacking him, which is going to put him on the shelf for a long time. Therefore, the titles are officially vacated. Cue Lars Sullivan to take out both Hardys so here’s R-Truth to hit Lars in the back with a chair. That has no effect and Lars punches the chair out of Truth’s hands, setting up a Freak Accident and running powerbomb.

Side note: THANK YOU WWE for putting the heat for the injury on Sullivan instead of saying it was some mistake that was no one’s fault. For whatever reason they almost never want to put the injury on someone else and let them get something out of it when it’s handed to them on a silver platter. Thank you for finally taking the story that is presented to you with no effort.

Here are the four Smackdown men’s Money in the Bank participants. That would be Ali, Finn Balor, Andrade and Randy Orton. No in-ring segment, no matches made as a result and no wastes of time. They just put each one up on a graphic and it took about a minute.

Ok so there’s a tag match later tonight but at least they didn’t badly transition into it.

Kairi Sane/Asuka vs. ???/???

The IIconics are on commentary and Paige is here with Sane and Asuka. Sane dragon screw legwhips the taller jobber down and it’s time for some alternating kicks. The other jobber comes in and gets German suplexed, setting up the big kick to the head. Everything breaks down and it’s a Codebreaker into a running Blockbuster onto the tall one. A reverse DDT sets up the Insane elbow to give Sane the pin at 2:09.

Mandy Rose tells Sonya Deville that one of them can be in the Money in the Bank match. They both agree that the other should be in and hug.

Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat. He talks about how you only get one shot at a first impression so he knocked out Mr. McMahon on his first night here. It could have been anyone though because he wanted to show that he is still the Big Dog. This brings out Shane McMahon, because he needs to be in TWO big stories at once. Roman may be the Big Dog, but the McMahon Family owns the land. Roman: “No. Your daddy owns the land.”

The last time Vince was in the ring, he was on his back and Reigns was on his feet. Shane says last week it was Reigns laying on his back after Elias knocked him out. Reigns invites him to come try to make that happen again but Shane needs to go to the University of Michigan and work with a real team to get in shape for his match at Money in the Bank. There are a bunch of people who want to face Reigns though and here are two of them. This brings out the B Team for a handicap match, which Reigns dubs “how original”. We’ll even throw in a guest referee in the form of Elias.

Roman Reigns vs. B Team

Elias is on the floor. Reigns powers out of Dallas’ headlock but gets punched into the corner by Axel. Reigns fights out of the corner without much effort though and gets two off the Samoan drop. A quick Elias distraction lets Axel get in a clothesline though and we take a quick break.

Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock and hitting a clothesline on Dallas. Everything breaks down and a Samoan drop/DDT combination plants the B Team. The Superman Punch hits Axel for two with Elias pulling the regular referee out at two. Elias takes over as referee and the PerfectPlex gives Axel two of his own. The guitar is brought in but it’s a Superman Punch to Elias and a spear finishes Axel at 10:47.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t exactly the most surprising result and that’s not the best way in the world to go when Elias isn’t going to be bought as a serious threat to Reigns at Money in the Bank anyway. Reigns overcoming the odds is fine, but if the odds don’t make him an underdog in the first place, what is he overcoming?

We get last night’s Firefly Fun House, which was even more disturbing than the first one.

Andrade/Randy Orton vs. Finn Balor/Ali

On their way to the ring, Andrade and Zelina Vega promise to make everyone respect Andrade at Money in the Bank. It’s a brawl to start with the villains being sent outside as we take a break less than thirty seconds in. Back with Ali hitting a dropkick on Orton and a double tag bringing in Balor and Andrade.

A kick to the head knocks Andrade off the top and out to the floor, setting up dives from Balor and Ali for a good visual. Back in and Ali pulls Balor off the top, setting up the running knees in the corner for two. The hammerlock DDT is countered and Ali tags himself in. The Sling Blade sets up Ali’s 450 for the pin on Andrade at 7:06.

Rating: C-. This had some entertaining moments but did they need to have Andrade lose the fall here? You have one of the biggest stars of the era who can lose every match for the rest of his career and still be a legend, but for some reason they have Andrade lose here instead. I’m sure it doesn’t matter though, or at least what WWE tells us.

Post match Orton hits an RKO on Balor but Ali makes the save.

The final two women in the Money in the Bank match are Ember Moon and Carmella. Ember is happy to have her chance but Carmella comes in to say it’s her briefcase.

The graphic confirms that Mandy gets the nod instead of Sonya.

It’s time for the Kevin Owens Show, but there is now no set with just a pair of chairs. Owens points out the lack of a set but it’s ok because he is the show. At Money in the Bank, he will take away the burden of being WWE Champion from Kofi Kingston because it belongs to him. That brings us to his guest, but there is no Xavier Woods.

Owens expected this to be the case, so he brings out a Xavier action figure. It was part of a pack though so there is also a Big E. figure, complete with a cast around his leg. Owens puts them in the chair and then kicks it over. He knows what is in their mind and heart….but here’s Kofi for the brawl. Kingston throws him over the announcers’ table but gets raked in the eyes, allowing Owens to bail to end the show. Good final segment with Kofi bringing out the fire again.

Overall Rating: C-. I know the rating isn’t that far from that of last night’s show but my goodness this show is so much easier to watch. The lack of an extra hour really is the big difference as it didn’t feel like anything was stretching out to fill in the time. The wrestling wasn’t great but the Kofi vs. Owens story is better than it was before, meaning I want to see the title match more than I did before. Throw in the MITB participants being announced in about five minutes combined with a single seven minute match instead of two sitdown segments and a pair of matches and it’s easy to see why this was so much easier.

Results

Becky Lynch b. Bayley – Disarm-Her

Asuka/Kairi Sane b. ???/??? – Insane elbow

Roman Reigns b. B Team – Spear to Axel

Ali/Finn Balor b. Randy Orton/Andrade – 450 to Andrade

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – April 29, 2019: A Long Time Coming

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 29, 2019
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Corey Graves

It’s a homecoming show for me as Rupp Arena hasn’t hosted a Raw since 2010, which was the first Raw there since 2000. Since I live ten minutes from the arena, it was rather nice to not have such a long drive home. Now the problem with that is it was a long show, but that’s Raw for you. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

As you can tell, I was in the arena for the show, sitting in the upper deck opposite the hard camera. The crowd was the biggest I’ve seen for a Raw in Rupp perhaps ever, which says a lot as Rupp is one of the biggest arenas in the country. The upper deck wasn’t even entirely tarped off, which I never remember seeing.

Cole welcomes us to Rupp Arena from the University of Kentucky. It’s not on the campus, nor is it owned by the University but that hasn’t stopped WWE from saying the same wrong line over and over for years.

Here’s Alexa Bliss to announce the men’s Money in the Bank participants. After explaining the concept for the uninitiated, here are the participants: Braun Strowman, Ricochet (Kentucky boy), Drew McIntyre and Baron Corbin (Bliss: “He is the former acting General Manager of Monday Night Raw. Former Golden Gloves….you know I’m not going to list the rest of his accolades. It’s Baron Corbin.”).

Baron wastes no time in insulting the fans by promising to become a two time contract winner. Ricochet: “Or is that two time loser?” The insults abound, with McIntyre accusing Corbin of choking last week against AJ Styles as well. Corbin says it was because he didn’t have the chance to adequately rest between matches but McIntyre doesn’t want to hear it. He also doesn’t want to hear from Ricochet, who isn’t grown up enough for this.

McIntyre promises to drop Corbin and Ricochet where they stand but Strowman tells all of them to shut up. None of them can stop him, so let’s do the preview match right now. By preview, he means a match that has nothing to do with climbing a ladder, which is all Money in the Bank is about.

Baron Corbin/Drew McIntyre vs. Braun Strowman/Ricochet

Strowman still isn’t playing and blocks an early chokebreaker attempt. A clothesline puts Corbin on the floor for the middle rope moonsault from Ricochet as the fans give Ricochet quite the welcome home. Back in and Ricochet swings at McIntyre but a crossbody is countered into a suplex which is escaped as well, only to have McIntyre chop him down.

That’s enough for the villains to take over on Ricochet as we’re told about Bliss announcing the women’s participants later. Now that Graves is very happy, Corbin chokes away on the rope. The chinlock goes on because Corbin knows one style match and that includes a chinlock. Ricochet fights up for a clothesline and nipup into the dropkick but Corbin drops him again as we take a break.

Back with Ricochet still in trouble off a huge backdrop from McIntyre during the break. They head outside with Strowman chasing Corbin but running into the Claymore, with McIntyre seeming to bang himself up on the landing. Drew is fine enough to hit a heck of a clothesline on Ricochet and crank on the arm back inside. It’s back to Corbin, who gets kicked in the face and dropkicked for a bonus, allowing the hot tag to Strowman.

House is cleaned in a hurry but McIntyre avoids a charge to send Strowman shoulder first into the post (the ring shook). The Claymore is loaded up on Ricochet but Corbin tags himself in. That earns him a right hand from McIntyre, sending Corbin into Strowman’s powerslam. The shooting star press gives Ricochet the pin at 14:05.

Rating: C-. This was every Money in the Bank build match that you could have, with the faces and heels teaming together despite having no intentions to do so in the actual ladder match. Corbin and McIntyre already getting in a fight isn’t surprising, but Corbin holding up the briefcase again is looking more and more likely by the week.

Here are the Usos, who sing their own theme music in one of the best jobs of hyping up a crowd in a hurry.

Usos vs. Anderson and Gallows

During their entrances, Anderson and Gallows promise to lock the Usos up in their own penitentiary because they’re bullet proof. Jimmy runs Anderson over to start and a shot to the face gets two. It’s off to Jey, who slides over to taunt Gallows and then gets in a running elbow for two more.

Gallows comes in and gets knocked outside but is fine enough to block a suicide dive. Back in and Jimmy gets sent neck first into the middle rope for some quality writhing in pain. The beatdown is on and we take a break. Back with Anderson grabbing the chinlock and getting two off an elbow to the face. A belly to back suplex gives Gallows two but Jimmy uppercuts his way out of trouble.

The hot tag brings in Jey for a superkick and a Samoan drop, followed by the running Umaga attack in the corner. Jey misses a charge into the corner though and walks into the always good looking Anderson spinebuster for two. The Magic Killer is broken up and it’s double superkicks into the Superfly Splash to finish Gallows at 11:19.

Rating: C. I’ve been a big Usos fan for a long time so it’s cool to see them back on track over on the new show, but my goodness I could go for more from Anderson and Gallows. They’re good, they’re entertaining and they can work, yet they’re lucky to get a ten minute match once every few months. Would a few weeks long program be too much to ask?

Post match the Usos say put the kids to bed and cover grandma’s eyes, because we’ve got something special. We see a clip of Jey near the showers, where he films Dash Wilder shaving Scott Dawson’s back, which the fans don’t know how to accept. Back in the arena, the Revival comes out and say that since Dawson is a real man with big muscles, he needed some help. The Revival says there’s nothing wrong with that and they’ll come for the Usos after their match tonight. That’s cool with the Usos, who promise penitentiary time.

I was there the night the Revival debuted on the main roster and now I’m here when they’re in a feud over shaving back hair. That’s what tag team wrestling is to WWE these days: Hawkins and Ryder holding the titles, the War Raiders having three names in three weeks, and the Revival dealing with personal grooming. And you wonder why this division is considered death.

We look at Rey Mysterio losing to Samoa Joe in a minute at Wrestlemania. Their rematch is tonight. It’s non-title, so get Rey’s victory music ready now.

Here’s Miz for MizTV. Miz hypes up the crowd, saying he thought we had some Wildcats in here. He’s glad to be back on Raw with new challenges and new guests, starting with one tonight: Bobby Lashley. Miz starts his intro but Lashley cuts him off in the third person. We move on to Lashley’s untapped potential, with Lashley not wanting to hear about it because he’s a two time Intercontinental Champion since returning a year ago. But what has Miz done? Miz: “Bobby Lashley wants to go stat for stat with me?”

Miz says the old Miz would list off his accomplishments (which he does) but cuts himself off because we could be here for a long time. The fans seem to like that so Miz calls himself an overachiever. Miz: “Have you seen my wife?” Lashley brings up Shane McMahon attacking Miz’s father and the fight is on. Miz fights back and throws Lashley plus the chairs out of the ring. I think you know what’s next.

The Miz vs. Bobby Lashley

Joined in progress with Lashley hitting the delayed vertical suplex but Miz is right back with the kicks in the corner. Some running dropkicks connect as the referee gets the blood gloves. Cue Shane McMahon for a distraction but Miz clotheslines Lashley to the floor. A dropkick through the ropes drops Lashley and Miz stares Shane down. Shane charges the ring as Miz rolls Lashley up for two, followed by the short DDT for the same. The YES Kicks connect but Shane puts up a picture of Miz’s dad. That’s enough of a distraction for Lashley to hit the spear for the pin at 2:53.

Post match the double beatdown is on and Shane chokes Miz out as he looks at the picture of his father. Shane reiterates that he is the best in the world. This coming Thursday, it will be six months of this story. Six months of Miz vs. Shane McMahon. That’s all they can come up with for what is going to be over half a year over Shane winning a tournament in Saudi Arabia and then Miz’s horrible father. They deserve the backlash they get for this nonsense.

Post break, let’s take another look at what we just saw.

Viking Raiders vs. Lucha House Party

The House Party jumps them before the bell and it’s a springboard missile dropkick to rock Ivar. He’s fine enough to cartwheel away from a handspring elbow and it’s off to Erik as the Raiders take over. Erik drives Ivar into the corner to crush Metalik, setting up the Viking Experience for the pin on Kalisto at 1:54.

Post match Lince Dorado tries to avenge his buddies but gets caught in the German suplex/springboard clothesline combination.

Video on the IIconics.

Here’s Alexa Bliss to introduce the women’s Money in the Bank participants. First up is Natalya, who is proud to finally have a chance to be Raw Women’s Champion. Next up is Dana Brooke, who is tired of Natalya being handed everything. They get catty with each other until Alexa shuts them down. Naomi is third (giving us a FEEL THE BLISS graphic as the two graphics are up at once. That means another speech from Naomi about getting a chance but Bliss cuts them off again, saying they’re worse than the men earlier.

Bliss talks about the fourth woman getting the chance but no one can stop talking long enough for her to be given an opportunity. And it’s Bliss herself rounding out the field. Naomi wants to fight Bliss, who says she would, but she doesn’t want to. Bliss doesn’t even have the right shoes! Naomi: “I can beat you with my shoes on or off.” After the worst smack talking ever, Bliss agrees to the match.

It’s time for Firefly Fun House. Bray Wyatt is painting, because he loves to express himself and when you express yourself, no one can hurt you. Rambling Rabbit, a rabbit puppet that looks like he’s been beaten half to death, pops up and asks to see the picture. It’s of the Wyatt Compound burning, which doesn’t sit well with Rambling. Abby the Witch pops up (Bray: “YEOWWY WOWWY!”) and scared Rabbit off before saying Bray didn’t learn his lesson last time.

Bray assures her that is all in the past and that he’s sorry for what he did. The kids forgive him for what he did, which is enough for Abby, as long as Bray keeps it quiet while she sleeps. Bray calls her a sociopath and here’s Rabbit to ask if that’s the Word of the Day. Why yes it is, and Bray spells it for us, though he doesn’t define it. That’s all the time we have for today but remember: he’ll light the way and all you have to do is let him in. Just like last week this is really creepy, but I’m not sure how it’s going to work in the arena.

Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss

Joined in progress again with Bliss having to tie her shoes, allowing Naomi to kick her in the leg and hit a bulldog onto the middle buckle. The standing Stinkface (erg) sets up a splits splash for two on Bliss. Back up and Bliss takes her into the corner for some stomping and it’s off to a chinlock. Naomi fights up again and hits her dancing kicks but Bliss drops her again.

Hang on though as she needs to tie her shoes (Percy Femur’s favorite wrestler everyone). Naomi’s small package gets two so Bliss slaps on another chinlock to slow things down. The shoes flare up again so Naomi goes after Bliss, who loses both shoes in the process. Bliss sends her into the corner and yells about the shoes, only to walk into the Rear View. The split legged moonsault finishes Bliss at 6:01.

Rating: D. The shoes thing got a bit annoying but the bigger problem was how they couldn’t do much of anything out there because they kept getting in the way. Bliss being back in the ring is a good thing though as she’s certainly an upgrade over some of the women’s division. With so many moving over to Smackdown, she’s certainly one of the better choices on Raw.

Rey Mysterio wants to do better against Samoa Joe tonight to prove himself to his son Dominic.

Here’s Becky Lynch for a chat with Charly Caruso. After soaking in the BECKY TWO BELTS chants, Becky says that’s why she would do this. She had a hard journey to get here and that means she can either talk or fight. Becky only knows how to fight so of course that’s what she’s going to do. Never tell her the odds, because people told her she would never main event Wrestlemania, until she did. Then people said no one could beat Ronda Rousey, until Becky did it.

Her whole career has been a long shot but nothing has been an accident. You can talk about odds all you want, but she got where she is today by beating everyone. Charlotte has the pedigree but Becky has her numbers. As for Lacey Evans, she has a great right hand but it’s a mistake to punch someone who likes it.

We see a clip of Evans knocking Becky out last week so Becky wants to fight right now. Cue Evans, who says it’s just like a man to want what he wants when he wants it. Lacey is tired of these manners so the fight is on. Referees can’t break it up and agents can’t either as the fight is getting intense in a hurry. After several moments it’s finally broken up after a heck of a brawl in a very good segment.

Video on Make A Wish Day. Nothing wrong with that.

Revival vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Non-title. Hawkins takes Dash down to start as the announcers are already talking about the back shaving stuff from earlier. Dawson gets in a cheap shot from the apron to put Ryder in trouble and it’s time for some hard elbow drops. The SHAVE YOUR BACK chants get on Dawson’s nerves so he grabs a front facelock. Dawson even mocks the fans with his own SHAVE YOUR BACK chant before kicking Ryder in the stomach. Ryder is fine enough to reverse Wilder’s suplex into a neckbreaker but Dawson is right there to knock Hawkins off the apron. That means a collision with Ryder though and a crucifix pins Dawson at 4:17.

Rating: D. So it was a squash until a fluke win for the champs, who were barely mentioned as the entire thing was about the Revival vs. the Usos. If WWE wants to go with that as the top feud on the show, that’s fine. Just get the titles onto one of them instead of having the champions look like the fourth most important team (at best) on the show.

Miz’s response to Shane: a challenge for a cage match at Money in the Bank. So once Miz wins there, where do they go for the tiebreaker?

Here’s Sami Zayn for a chat. Last week he talked about being on vacation and not being happy now that he’s back here. The other great thing about his time away was allowing himself to get back to things that interest him, such as history and psychology. That made him think about a concept called psychological entitlement, which is very appropriate for WWE fans.

For years, these people have been fed the lie that the customer is always right. Sami won’t even get into the economic and social reasons why that has been pounded into their heads because no one here will get it. The point is that everyone feels they are right and they should get everything they want. If they don’t get it, they’ll throw a fit right then and there. Last week at the airport at 4am, a father told his five year old to sign an action figure. Sami said no, but it didn’t make him feel good. He was already bothered by the fact that the kid had been taught that he got what he wanted.

After seventeen years and five star classics, Sami thought he had done enough already. That is the new dynamic: he’ll do what he wants and the fans will gladly take it. Recently people have been telling him to quit WWE if he hates it so much. That’s not going to happen, because nothing sounds more enjoyable than taking the fans in the palm of his hands. From now on, Sami is taking the power back. The promos are great, but I’m not sure where this is going.

Shane accepts Miz’s challenge.

Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title. Before the match, Joe says he embarrassed Rey at Wrestlemania. If Rey was any kind of a father, he would have gotten his son a mask to hide his shame. Tonight, Rey is paying for costing Joe his title shot last week. Joe goes right at him to start and knocks Rey to the floor. The suicide elbow launches too early as Rey slides back in and hits the seated senton off the apron.

Rey’s sliding splash hits knees though and we take a break. Back with Joe grabbing a neck crank as we hear about Rey’s loss at Wrestlemania. Just have him pin Joe already because they’re making it as obvious as anything else. Rey fights up and hits the tornado DDT, followed by a 619 to the ribs. The regular 619 is blocked and Joe hits the release Rock Bottom out of the corner. Joe picks him back up but gets pulled into a rollup for the pin at 7:18. Joe didn’t even try to move during the pin and it looked horrible.

Rating: D+. What we got was good but the ending looked terrible and the Curse of the US Title continues to be a very real threat. I’m sure we’ll get a rubber match at Money in the Bank, because Joe choking him out in a minute on the biggest show of the year was just a starting point. Just let Joe (or whoever else gets saddled with the title) win something already, because this is nonsense.

Post match Dominic comes out to put Rey on his shoulders in a scene you don’t get very often.

It’s time for the contract signing between AJ Styles and Seth Rollins. Michael Cole starts the questioning by asking what a win would mean to AJ. That’s an easy one because the win is the reason AJ came here. He spent two years on Smackdown and he’s very grateful, but now it’s time to come where the really crazy fans are.

AJ has heard about Seth for two years and knows he’s a good guy, but AJ wants the Universal Title. When you want something bad enough, you’ll do some unexpected things to get it. The fans aren’t sure what to make of that so AJ goes back to the compliments by saying Seth is a winner and a champion. But how many times has it been said that Seth will be the new AJ? Not very many that I can think of, but AJ thinks it makes sense because Seth is stronger, faster and younger. Fans: “SHAVE YOUR BACK!”

The reality though is Seth will never be the next AJ Styles. Seth didn’t want to be though, because he would rather be the first Seth Freaking Rollins. The compliments are appreciated but things are different on Raw. That’s Michael Cole instead of Tom Phillips and the ropes are red. If AJ wants to take the title, he needs to be better than phenomenal.

AJ asks about Seth’s health after being a workhorse for all those months. Fans: “BURN IT DOWN!” AJ knows they’ll burn it down and then he’ll build it back up. Seth doesn’t know how much trouble he’s in because the Shield isn’t around to help him anymore. Yeah he went through a lot at Wrestlemania, but Seth doesn’t have much left.

AJ is ready to go now though and at Money in the Bank, he’s biting like a pit bull and not letting go until he’s Universal Champion. Styles signs and Seth starts talking about their differences. It’s true that AJ likes to build things up but Seth likes to burn things down. There is one thing that separates them though: Seth beat Brock Lesnar. That seems to get to AJ as Seth signs.

AJ picks up the title and slowly hands it over so Seth can hold it up. Fans: “SHAVE HIS BACK!” AJ jumps him instead and the fight is on with Seth kicking him out to the floor. There’s the suicide dive and Seth poses again, but it’s a shot to the head into the Phenomenal Forearm through the table to end the show.

This took some time to get going because they don’t have any reason to hate each other, but some of those lines from Seth ran deep. AJ seems to be playing heel here, and while that might not go full blast or last permanently, it’s an interesting way to go here. It’s also something AJ knows how to do, so we should be in for some quality stuff if that’s where they’re going.

Overall Rating: D. This was a rough one and it didn’t get much better watching it back. The wrestling ranged from annoying to bad and some of the stories feel like they’re trying to be way too jokey instead of serious with some not so funny acts. Couple that with a bunch of “I’M GOING TO WIN AND CASH IN THE BRIEFCASE BECAUSE IT’S MY TIME!” promos and this was a hard watch. It did have some good parts (contract signing, Becky vs. Lacey, Sami’s promo and the Viking Raiders) but the bad is far stronger here and given the direction of some stories, that’s going to be the case for a long time.

Results

Ricochet/Braun Strowman b. Baron Corbin/Drew McIntyre – Shooting star press to Corbin

Usos b. Anderson and Gallows – Superfly Splash to Gallows

Bobby Lashley b. The Miz – Spear

Viking Raiders b. Lucha House Party – Viking Experience to Kalisto

Naomi b. Alexa Bliss – Split legged moonsault

Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins b. Revival – Crucifix to Dawson

Rey Mysterio b. Samoa Joe – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Rebellion 2019: The Pattern Holds

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Rebellion
Date: April 28, 2019
Location: Rebel Sports Complex, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

It’s back to pay per view for these people after some rather uninspiring television (though the go home show was good). The wrestling has been more than adequate but there’s very little that makes me want to watch this show. Now, that doesn’t mean this show will be bad, but rather than I haven’t been thrilled getting here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video asks what a rebellion is and how important it is to fight, all over clips of the feuds on the card. Not bad at all, as the recap videos have gotten better as of late.

Petey Williams vs. Jake Crist vs. Aiden Prince vs. Ace Austin vs. Cousin Jake vs. Eddie Edwards

Bonus match because a six match card wasn’t going to work. One fall to a finish and Jake is one of the Deaners. The brawling is on to start with Eddie hitting a suicide dive on Jake but getting taken down by a slingshot hurricanrana from Petey. Prince gets a running charge for a dive but Crist cutters him out of the air and onto the pile for the massive crash that would have taken Prince out even without the cutter. Petey Russian legsweeps Crist into the Sharpshooter with Deaner making the save.

That allows Austin to start his handspring into a kick on the apron but Crist is right there with another cutter from the top. A suicide DDT drops Deaner but it’s Petey up with a slingshot Codebreaker to Crist as he lands on Eddie for a cool crash. Prince’s 450 gets two on Crist with Prince making the save, earning himself a kick in the head from Austin. Eddie is back in with a tiger driver for two on Austin with Deaner making the save. That earns him a Canadian Destroyer from Williams but Austin dives in for the rollup pin at 4:59.

Rating: C+. It felt like an Impact match but I like keeping something like this short. There’s no need to have them go through spot after spot when you can just do the crazy spot fest until someone gets the pin. Austin has needed a win and this is a good star for him. I could see him going somewhere and anytime I could see more magic, I’m rather pleased.

The announcers preview the rest of the card that you already bought.

Impact Plus is coming as a replacement for the Global Wrestling Network. Good, as the thing was a mess from the start so a relaunch is a good idea.

Sami Callihan is sick of Rich Swann smiling at him and not meaning any of it. Tonight the Death Machine is coming for Swann in an OVE Rules match. He’s going to break Swann’s legs because he loves him like a brother.

Rohit Raju vs. Scarlett Bordeaux

This was set up earlier today as a replacement for the live Smoke Show. Raju has both Gama and Raj Singh with him like Scarlett has Fallah Bahh. Scarlett starts fast and takes over in the corner until a trip puts her down. That earns Raju a walk over his back so he takes Scarlett outside for a Russian legsweep into the barricade.

Back in and Scarlett is fine enough to chop away, setting up a headscissors into a Crossface to put Raju in even more trouble. That’s broken up so Scarlett snaps off a German suplex to send Raju to the floor, meaning a big dive follows him out. Back up and Raj crotches her on top, allowing Raju to load up a Stinkface. Since you don’t do that to Scarlett, it’s a low blow into the belly to back kneeling piledriver to give Scarlett the pin at 5:03.

Rating: D. I love Scarlett’s character for a variety of reasons, but having her do the same match over and over again is going to take away the appeal in a hurry. This was Raju being a cocky jerk who got in trouble for being stupid. The problem is that’s how most of her matches are likely to go and you can only do that for so long. It didn’t help that the match wasn’t very good and was another bonus match, which kind of goes to show you how thin the card is so far.

We recap Moose/The North vs. the Rascalz. The Rascalz made fun of Moose for his bad luck with women, meaning it was time for Moose to destroy all of them. The numbers got the better of him though and Dezmond Xavier stole a win. Therefore, it’s time to bring in some help.

Moose/The North vs. Rascalz

The Rascalz gets smart by rapid firing in and out against Moose with kicks to the legs and slingshot hilos. Moose pops to his feet though and hands it off to Josh Alexander to suplex Dezmond for two. A backbreaker gets two and Ethan Page adds a swinging version for his own. Dezmond sends the North into each other but Page is fine enough to run him over and prevent the hot tag.

Everything breaks down and it’s the big shoving moonsault to the floor so Wentz can take out Page. Miguel’s running flip dive is pulled out of the air by raw Moose power, meaning a swing into the barricade. Dezmond isn’t done though and uses Josh’s back as a launchpad to take Moose out. Back in and Alexander puts Miguel and Dezmond on the same shoulder at the same time in an impressive power display.

That’s broken up and it’s a 619 into a top rope Meteora into a Swanton into the Final Flash from Dezmond onto Alexander. Thinking quickly though, Page Border Tosses Miguel onto both of them for an impressive looking save. Wentz gets thrown over the top onto Miguel, leaving Dezmond to take a series of kicks to the face. The Burning Hammer into the whip spinebuster sets up No Jackhammer Needed to finish Dezmond at 9:22.

Rating: B. This was a lot of fun, though they were kind of in trouble with the booking. You don’t want the new team in the North losing and Moose can’t take another fall, but the Rascalz really need to stop losing. It’s the lesser of two evils, and thankfully it came at the end of an entertaining, fast paced match. More of the usual from the Rascalz in other words.

Johnny Impact and Taya Valkyrie aren’t worried about their title defenses.

We recap Taya Valkyrie vs. Jordynne Grace. Taya is the confident champion but Grace pinned her in a non-title match and then cost her a match against Madison Rayne. Grace is a monster but Taya doesn’t seem scared.

Knockouts Title: Jordynne Grace vs. Taya Valkyrie

Jordynne is challenging and charges straight at the champ to start. They head outside with Taya being powerbombed onto the apron. Back inside and a middle rope backsplash gives Grace two. Taya snaps the arm across the top rope though and starts wrapping it around the steel. That’s only good for a one so Taya hits a Bubba Bomb to set up a cross armbreaker. Grace is in the ropes in a hurry so Taya pulls her back down into a hanging DDT for two.

Taya grabs something like a cousin of the Rings of Saturn but gets driven hard into the corner for the break. One heck of a clothesline gives Jordynne two and a Michinoku Driver gets the same with the arm not holding up enough for the pin. Taya goes up and is quickly caught in a Muscle Buster for a pair of very close twos. A pinfall reversal sequence gives us more near falls but the arm is too bad for the Grace Driver. Taya pulls on the arm again and it’s the Road To Valhalla to retain the title at 8:59.

Rating: C. The story was there but the ending felt rather flat with Taya just winning clean after the arm work. It makes sense, but I was expecting more from the monster Grace. The match was fine enough, though I’m not sure who is supposed to challenge Taya now. Madison Rayne? Is that where we’re going now? Or maybe a face Tessa? I’m not sure how that would go but it would be different.

Gail Kim is ready for Tessa Blanchard tonight.

We recap Sami Callihan vs. Rich Swann. Callihan’s family took Swann in as a kid and Swann considered Sami family. Then Sami went nuts and they split, with Swann declining an invitation to join OVE. You don’t do that to Sami, so he’s coming for the X-Division Title.

X-Division Title: Sami Callihan vs. Rich Swann

Sami is challenging and anything goes. No dancing from Swann here so you know he’s taking this one seriously. An exchange of shots to the face goes to the champ and it’s already time to head to the floor. Swann staple guns him in the head and the weapons are thrown inside. Back in and Swann’s sunset flip is broken up by a staple gun to the mouth.

A Broski Boot makes it even worse for Swann and his suicide dive is knocked out of the air with a metal shot to the head. The Cactus Special on the apron should be the pin but here’s it’s not even enough for a cover. Instead Sami puts a piece of barricade between the ramp and the steps, which we’ll get back to later. Back in and Swann gets out of a Razor’s Edge, only to be suplexed through an open chair for two.

Swann again isn’t dead and swings away with a cookie sheet. That earns him a spit to the face, which Swann licks off and drops Sami for two more. Wet floor signs to the head have Sami down on the ramp and a Lethal Injection makes it even worse. The fans chant HOLY S*** at that, but not at the suplex through the chair earlier? Those are some weird standards. Now it’s time for the bridged barricade, with Sami going with a groin claw into a Cactus Special onto said barricade….for two.

With that out of the way, it’s time for a big bucket of Legos. A super hurricanrana brings Sami down onto those but since they don’t mean much more than pain, he’s right back up with powder into Swann’s face. That means a super Cactus Special onto the Legos for two and now it’s a barbed wire baseball bat. Swann spits at him, hits Sami low, and, after an I Love You from Sami, hits him in the head with the wire. A Crossface with the barbed wire bat makes Sami tap at 16:03.

Rating: C+. They lost me hard here with one big spot after another that not only didn’t finish the match but didn’t really seem to cause that much damage. A super piledriver should finish someone off and here it just gets two? After a piledriver on a barricade? The other problem was the Legos, which seem like something you would see in a comedy match, but then a few seconds later it’s a barbed wire baseball bat. You can’t jump from one tone to another like that so fast and it didn’t work.

Tessa Blanchard talks about how much respect she has for Gail Kim, who was here before the Revolution. Then Gail made it personal and tonight Tessa is finishing it. TULLY BLANCHARD comes in and says make him proud.

We recap Tessa vs. Gail. Kim cost her the Knockouts Title in January because Tessa wouldn’t respect her as guest referee, sending Tessa into a legal battle to get rid of Gail. It worked to a degree, but Gail came out of retirement for this match. It’s a good build, though I’m more than a little worried about Tessa losing.

Gail Kim vs. Tessa Blanchard

They stare each other down until Tessa starts slugging, earning herself a stomping in the corner. Tessa is right back with a running hurricanrana to send Gail outside, setting up the big dive. Gail pulls her into the post but gets caught with a Codebreaker out of the corner for two. A powerslam gives Gail two of her own but the Black Widow is countered into a backbreaker.

The trash talk starts rolling, with Tessa even yelling down at Gail’s husband in the crowd. Gail misses a charge and falls out to the floor, setting up a double posting for a double knockdown. Tessa takes her time getting up and gets caught in the Hartbreaker around the post, which still doesn’t make a ton of sense. Back in and Gail fires off forearms to set up a spinning high crossbody.

With the required YOU STILL GOT IT chant going, Tessa shoves Gail to the ramp, where a spinning full nelson faceplant sends her crashing down to the floor. That’s not quite enough for the countout and Tessa is stunned. The slingshot suplex is countered into Eat Defeat for two so Gail goes up. With Tessa following up, she gets caught in a dragon sleeper so it’s a bite to the elbow for the break.

You don’t see that one everyday, which is also the case with the super gorilla press drop to send Gail right back down. Magnum gets two so it’s off to a cobra clutch Crossface for something new. Gail gets her foot on the ropes but that doesn’t count this time as Tessa rolls into the middle of the ring for the clean tap at 16:03.

Rating: B+. Match of the night here with Tessa getting the signature win and continuing to look like the best female wrestler in the world (and one of the best anywhere). They beat each other up here and thankfully they went with the right ending. Tessa is looking like the next megastar though and hopefully Impact knows it.

Post match they hug, as Tessa might be on her way to a face turn. Gail gets the big sign of respect.

An angry Brian Cage promises to rip Johnny Impact’s head off tonight.

We recap Johnny Impact vs. Brian Cage. Johnny barely survived at Homecoming and kept dodging giving Cage a rematch, eventually turning heel because he’s tired of the fans thinking they know everything. He then got senior referee Johnny Bravo in his pocket, so tonight it’s Lance Storm as guest referee. That’s going to be fine because Storm is Canadian, meaning he has values. And he hosts a podcast with the company’s boss.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Brian Cage vs. Johnny Impact

Impact, with Taya and Bravo, is defending and Lance Storm is guest referee. Cage comes out with the Terminator gear, which didn’t do so well for him last time. They continue a trend tonight by starting fast with Impact being driven into the corner and walking into a German suplex. The F5 gets two less than a minute in and it’s the apron superplex for two more as Cage is on fire to start.

Another apron superplex is countered into a German suplex from the champ and some knees to the face have Cage in trouble. The standing shooting star is countered with raw power and Cage shows off the standing moonsault for another two. Johnny rolls to the ramp and comes back with a Spanish Fly to the floor (which caused Cage to go to the emergency room after the show).

A running knee to the face busts Cage open and we hit the chinlock as he tries to get some feeling in his back again. Cage Hulks Up and shrugs off an enziguri but a springboard spear gives Johnny two. Taya and Bravo set up a table at ringside as Johnny gets two off the Moonlight Drive. They head outside with Johnny putting him on the table and calling a very loud spot.

Cage pops up and powerbombs him through the table but has to go after Bravo. The distraction lets Impact hit Cage with the belt (right in front of Storm, who “didn’t see it”). Instead Taya pulls Storm to the floor so Johnny can baseball slide him from behind for the expected ref bump.

Back in and Johnny throws the title to Taya and plays dead, leaving Taya to take a powerbomb from Cage. After that rather unnecessary portion, Impact hits Cage with the title and misses Starship Pain (as always) so Bravo can run in for two. Storm superkicks Bravo and Cage does the same to Johnny, setting up a Falcon Arrow called the Drill Claw for the pin and the title at 13:17.

Rating: B-. Oh yeah that injury sucked the life out of Cage, who spent most of the rest of the match stumbling around and taking right hands to the face. What we got was still good, but the weakened Cage was hard to ignore. They did get the ending right though, as Cage had to win the title after being screwed out of it so many times.

Post match Cage celebrates….and Michael Elgin debuts (good thing they have his Twitter handle ready for his name graphic). Elgin powerbombs Cage and counts his own pin before walking away. I’m surprised Elgin was brought back into a major promotion but maybe things have blown over.

Slammiversary is in Dallas on July 7.

Konnan fires LAX up for their title match in the main event. He didn’t want it to come to this but now that it has, they’re coming out guns blazing. Konnan can still cut a fired up promo.

We recap the Lucha Bros vs. LAX, which started as a dream feud with the Bros winning the titles in Mexico. LAX turned on them and tonight it’s Full Metal Mayhem (TLC) to blow everything off once and for all (or as close to Impact can get to doing that).

Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. Lucha Bros

The Bros are defending and it’s TLC but you win by pinfall or submission. The champs try some dives to start but get knocked out of the air as LAX starts fast. Some tables are set up against the barricade and the Bros are right back with running flip dives through said tables to take over. They get inside for the first time with kicks to Ortiz’s face setting up the wheelbarrow splash for two.

Santana comes in and gets caught in a trashcan with a double superkick. A table is set up in the corner but Ortiz rolls Santana up, sending him into a cutter on Pentagon. The top rope Codebreaker from Ortiz sets up the double belly to back faceplant but Fenix dives in for the save. Santana is back up and stomps Fenix down in the corner. Two chairs are set up in the corner and Fenix gets caught in a hanging cutter/top rope double stomp combination for the latest near fall (no save this time).

Santana kicks Pentagon over the barricade and it’s time for the ladder. Everyone gets back in for the slugout before sitting down in four chairs. They slug it out again, though this time in a little more comfort. LAX gets the better of it and bust out the forks. The Bros get back up so some chairs are pelted at their heads, only to have LAX collapse as well. LAX gets up again and put Fenix on top before setting up six chairs in front of the corner.

Pentagon makes the save and it’s the spike Fear Factor onto the chairs….for two. My goodness it’s bleeding over from the X-Division Title match. The Bros load up a regular spike Fear Factor (If the one onto a chair doesn’t work, the regular one certainly will!) but Fenix makes the save, allowing Santana to drive Pentagon through the chair. The fans want and receive a ladder, plus a table on the ramp.

Fenix pops up though and grabs a Spanish Fly off the ladder through the table to make Ortiz vibrate. Back in and it’s a Pentagon Driver to put Santana through a chair for two more so Pentagon loads up two more tables. That’s not enough so we’ll add thumbtacks but since that takes WAY TOO LONG, Santana is awake enough to slug it out with him on top of the ladder. Ortiz gets back up and grabs Pentagon, allowing Santana to stab him in the head with fork. That’s enough for the powerbomb through the tables and the tacks to give LAX the titles back at 20:51.

Rating: A-. While a lot of the stuff has been done before, they went with the right idea here: let two talented teams and four talented guys go nuts with whatever they can find. Sometimes you don’t need to go for the storytelling and need to just shoot for the carnage, which is what they did here. I can overlook some of the near falls as this was a heck of a fight, though they need to go do something else as they’re not topping this anytime soon.

Post match everyone pulls themselves up and Konnan orders them to hug. The big show of respect, including some minor members of the locker room (and Taylor Wilde) coming out to celebrate) ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. As is almost always the case, this promotion is much, much better when there’s less focus on the stories. The action was good (well mostly good) and they made the right call with the Tag Team Titles main eventing. It’s a solid show up and down with two very good matches, though they need to have the TV to back it up, which is always the issue. For now though, a very good show that is worth seeing, if you fast forward a little here and there.

Results

Ace Austin b. Cousin Jake, Eddie Edward, Aiden Prince, Jake Crist and Petey Williams – Rollup to Jake

Scarlett Bordeaux b. Rohit Raju – Belly to back kneeling piledriver

Moose/The North b. Rascalz – No Jackhammer Needed to Xavier

Taya Valkyrie b. Jordynne Grace – Road To Valhalla

Rich Swann b. Sami Callihan – Crossface with a barbed wire baseball bat

Tessa Blanchard b. Gail Kim – Cobra clutch Crossface

Brian Cage b. Johnny Impact – Drill Claw

LAX b. Lucha Bros – Powerbomb through two tables to Pentagon

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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