787 Talk: WWE Has A Serious Case Of Amnesia

IMG Credit: WWE

By AB Morales

WWE’s creative team is notoriously large. Composed of more people than the entire cast of the latest Avengers movie (probably) you would think that such a large think tank would produce many a great ideas. But more often than not, we get the opposite effect of a large team. That being broken communication. Something very evident with the past few weeks, since Wrestlemania. So lets take a look at them, guess why and marvel at how so many ideas end up falling off:

The Superstar Shake-Up Debacle

Lets start with something that is less of a single story and just an example of terrible (or just lack of) planning. A staple of WWE brand splits. Once a year, “its time to shake things up again”. Since 2007, any time WWE goes to mix around their rosters, they somehow end up twisted and tangled. Raw vs Smackdown on PPV or something of the sort. This year was no different. The day after Wrestlemania, Samoa Joe appeared and challenged Roman Reigns for Backlash. The same day, The Miz demands his rematch against Seth Rollins. Clearly, with WWE planning their Superstar Shakeup as well, they would not be silly enough to have these guys jump shows, right? Nope. Despite having TWO Pay-Per-View matches already booked for him and Joe claiming he would show his domination of Raw, he just jumps to Smackdown and contradicts his promos. Similarly, The Miz wants to be the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time, but also gets traded to Smackdown. With Jeff Hardy managing to keep the US title on Smackdown, the result of The Miz vs Seth Rollins never fell into question. WWE’s annual draft/Superstar Shake-Up becomes an annual showcase of WWE’s lack of planning.

Mickie James vs Ronda Rousey

The most notable one from this past Monday. When WWE announced Ronda Rousey vs Nia Jax for Money In The Bank, it brushed under the rug all the teasing going on between Mickie James, Natalya and Ronda Rousey. Initially, Mickie attacked Natalya to the point that Ronda came down to help her trainer. We were teased with returning to the “psycho” days of Mickie James as well as what was supposed to be Ronda’s first singles program given she was scheduled to face Mickie in the European tour but that was also scrapped. Teasing between Natalya and Ronda was also involved in this story. But one week WWE just decided scrap all that and go straight to the big money fight. Months of planning go down the drain in a heartbeat.

Rusev Day Rift

Probably one that we should be glad got forgotten. Since November, Aiden English singing for Rusev and Rusev’s proclamation of Rusev Day (by the way, Happy Rusev Day) have turned the big Bulgarian into one of the most popular guys in WWE, for better or worse. WWE clearly isn’t too fond of him becoming so popular because of something they didn’t do. Three weeks ago, they saw it fit to tease tension between Lana and the duo with her saying something was holding Rusev back with you left to fill the obvious blank. But it seems WWE figured out what really was holding Rusev back: Themselves. Last week there was no follow up to the segment. This week Lana proclaimed how her and Rusev would be the first married couple to hold the two suitcases before asking English to sing. Seems everything’s all hunky dory now. And honestly, we’re glad they did in this case.

Sasha & Bayley Fighting By Pride Rock

Remember when Sasha and Bayley basically gave auditions for the live action Lion King at Elimination Chamber? WWE clearly doesn’t. After Sasha Banks turning on Bayley several times, she just randomly started asking her best friend what was going on. Bayley called her out on her selfish attitude and the result was Sasha proclaiming she was better than Bayley and that resulted in a big brawl in front of high school lockers (oddly enough). What happened after that? A PPV match was set up? Nope. A TV match was set up. With no winner. And afterwords, Sasha went right back to asking why Bayley was so mad. Completely forgetting their very heated brawl. One of the most egregious examples of WWE’s main roster butchering and mangling what was a very successful project in NXT. And the teasing is still going on and on.

Becky’s Losing Streak

There’s a peculiar trend going on right now. WWE can’t really handle their women’s division. Actually, scratch the “right now”. Maybe I’ll delve into it soon enough, but it’s clear WWE has a much harder time handling their women than their men. The women have grown too much for WWE to keep track of all at once. Becky’s losing streak is another one that was probably best forgotten. For a long time, the cute redheaded Irish girl has been one of the more consistently popular women in all of WWE. Even when she’s doing nothing, fans adore her and cheer her on. But for a good while, she’s been treading water on Smackdown. A series of losses led her to losing to Mandy Rose clean for her singles debut. Then Tom Phillips noted her “losing streak”. A common WWE trope. And then the very next week, Becky submits Rose to qualify for Money In The Bank. Trading the losing streak for another WWE trope: 50/50 booking.

Conclusion

There’s many other examples that pop up. Rusev challenging Randy Orton for the WWE Championship last year for Money in The Bank, Rhyno and Heath Slater breaking up, among many others. But lately, WWE has gone pretty overboard either forgetting or aborting stories and it greatly shows a lack of discipline. Why have such a large creative team if so many things are going to fall through the cracks?

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Thank you for reading. My name is AB Morales, Puertorican Dirt Sheet writer, a friend of KB for years. You can find and follow me here:

Facebook | Where I have my own personal blog with daily wrestling updates and even cover anime and videogames once in a while.
Twitch | Where I stream videogames and do occasional art streams.
Twitter | Where I do….., well it’s Twitter.
Impacto Estelar | My own little Spanish Dirt Sheet site.




Impact Wrestling – May 17, 2018: Think Big

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 17, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentator: Josh Matthews

Last week’s main event wasn’t the most interesting as it left us without many places to go in the World Title scene. Pentagon Jr. easily dispatched Eli Drake and likely only has a rematch with Austin Aries to go. Other than that, it’s hard to say where things are going to go around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at the big stories, including Brian Cage’s World Tour, the X attacker and Sami Callihan jumping Don Callis last week.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: DJZ/Andrew Everett vs. Eli Drake/Scott Steiner

Drake and Steiner are defending. Everett and Drake start things off but DJZ comes in for an early double spinebuster. Steiner gets in a shot to the back though and a neckbreaker drops DJZ. The belly to belly (not butterfly Josh) suplex gets two and it’s back to Drake to drive DJZ into the corner.

Steiner’s super Samoan drop plants DJZ but not well enough as a kick to the face allows the hot tag to Everett. Everything breaks down and Drake tries the Gravy Train on DJZ but a Codebreaker from Everett sets up a Code Red for a rather creative near fall. Drake breaks up Everett’s springboard but Steiner chairs Drake in the head by mistake. A quick standing shooting star from Everett is good for the pin at 6:22.

Post break the new champs celebrate and say it’s been a long road for the both of them. They’ve been a team for ONE WEEK. I know that’s not exactly what they were going for but it was a bad line.

Madison Rayne is here for commentary for the next match.

Tessa Blanchard vs. Kiera Hogan

Kiera jumps Tessa right after the bell (nothing wrong with that) and Madison approves. Unfortunately that means Madison was doing commentary, which really isn’t her strong suit. Tessa is right back with a forearm and a hanging Downward Spiral to really take over. The trash talking begins but Kiera comes back with forearms and a step up Fameasser for two. That’s it for Kiera though as a cutter and a hammerlock DDT are enough to give Tessa the pin at 4:06.

Rating: D. Just a squash to get Tessa off the ground and likely the start of a setup for Madison vs. Blanchard. That’s not the most thrilling thing but it’s better than having Madison on commentary. She doesn’t have much emotion and is really analytical, which doesn’t make for the best wrestling announcer. Blanchard looked good though.

Post match Blanchard stays on Hogan but Madison comes in for the save.

Earlier today Grado and Katarina accused Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong of being the X attacker. Jacobs threatened Grado with Kong so Katarina set up the match.

We recap Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards, focusing on Sami’s series of attacks on various people, which drove Eddie over the edge.

Pentagon Jr. is ready for tonight’s tag team main event because he’s brought the Chocolate Champion (I don’t get it either) El Hijo Del Fantasma.

Kongo Kong vs. Grado

Can they just destroy each other? Oh and we’re never getting an explanation for how Grado is allowed back are we? Grado walks away from him to start before his right hands have no effect. A single uppercut drops Grado and a belly to belly gets two. Grado’s punches and Bionic elbow don’t do much but a top rope shoulder puts Kong down for a second. That’s about it though as a hard slam sets up the top rope splash for the pin on Grado at 3:34.

Rating: F. Imagine that: taking two of my least favorite people on the roster and putting them in a short, nearly comedy match wasn’t something I was going to enjoy. Kong is still a big fat guy who is nowhere near as impressive as Impact thinks he is while Grado is a small, uninteresting guy who is nowhere near as entertaining as Impact thinks he is. And those are their good points.

Post match Katarina bails as Grado gets hit with the steps but Moose comes out to break up another attempt.

LAX runs into the Cult of Lee, who laughs about Konnan being gone. I’m sure a match is coming.

Tommy Dreamer tried to talk Eddie out of the street fight but Eddie won’t hear it. This ends when Sami has no blood left.

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan

Street fight from House of Hardcore. Eddie wastes no time and attacks him before the bell, including a kick to the face. A suicide dive knocks Sami into the barricade and there’s something metal to the head. Josh gives us a full history of Sami being all evil until Sami gets in a pipe shot to the ribs. Eddie knocks a spike out of Sami’s hands but a Death Valley Driver on the ramp cuts Eddie off. They head to the ring (which they haven’t been in yet) and Eddie DDTs him on the apron, allowing them to finally get inside.

A kendo stick duel goes to Eddie as Josh compares this to Dreamer vs. Raven. At least they’re just saying what they’re doing this time. Sami spits in Eddie’s face and goes low, setting up Get Outta Here for two. Two chairs are set up and a Falcon Arrow onto them gives Sami two more in what I thought was the finish. Back up and the Boston Knee Party gives Eddie the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C. So what’s the next match? I mean, you know that’s not going to be the end of the feud so what do they have next? My guess: something else where Sami is despicable and Dreamer tries to talk Eddie out of doing this because of something that happened in ECW twenty years ago and Sami is the most evil, horrible thing in the world while still not being anything more than someone who can’t get by without bad brawling. Just a hunch of course.

Post match Eddie chokes him with the bat until security comes out for the save. Dreamer comes out to stare at him as I wonder how well an Eddie heel run could go. Just don’t have him join Sami in some nonsensical turn.

From Destiny World Wrestling in Canada.

Brian Cage vs. Facade

Thankfully Josh gives us a quick bio on Facade, which is still more than when Cage beat the Noah World Champion last week. Facade gets thrown around to start and a powerbomb against the post makes things even worse. For some reason the cameras are staying on a wide shot, which isn’t the best look for a wrestling show. Some chops in the corner have Facade in trouble and a swinging full nelson slam gets two. We’re clipped to a pumphandle faceplant getting two on Facade, followed by a sitout Alabama Slam for two. Weapon X is good for the pin at 7:50 shown.

Rating: D+. The match quality was nothing compared to what we got last week but Josh told me something about this guy and Cage won in a squash from what we saw. This was Cage going around wrecking everything in front of him and it was a fun squash. I got more out of this than I did last week and that’s the point of this whole Cage deal.

From No Surrender 2011, Austin Aries beats Brian Kendrick.

Earlier today, KM praised Fallah Bahh on his weight loss. Next up, hair care. And a tie over bare chest. Bahh tried to hit on Kiera Hogan.

We recap the night.

We run down the card for next week and Under Pressure, two weeks from now. Aries will challenge Pentagon Jr. for the World Title in the main event.

We go to a cemetery where Su Yung and the undead bridesmaids are burying Rosemary. They drop the casket and set it on fire as Yung hisses. Nothing else is said.

El Hijo Del Fantasma/Pentagon Jr. vs. Austin Aries/Matt Sydal

Sydal and Fantasma start us off in a preview of next week’s title match. A headlock takeover gets Fantasma out of early trouble and it’s a standoff. Fantasma snaps off a hurricanrana and a double tag gives us Aries vs. Pentagon. The champ says CERO MIEDO and gets bopped on the chin. A kick to the ribs cuts Aries off and it’s time to go for the arm, sending Aries to the floor and us to a break.

Back with Pentagon superkicking Aries from the apron and Fantasma’s suicide dive getting caught on the ropes. Pentagon takes Aries back inside and grabs a chinlock, followed by What’s Up with Pentagon as D-Von and hitting a dropkick instead of a headbutt. A wheelbarrow Codebreaker combination gets two on Sydal but he’s right back up with a jawbreaker/backbreaker combination to both masked guys.

Aries’ slingshot corkscrew elbow keeps Fantasma in trouble and a top rope ax handle rocks him again. Sydal knees Aries in the face though and the hot tag brings in Pentagon for the Sling Blades. Fantasma’s cutter drops Sydal but Matt hurricanranas him off the top. Pentagon Jr. breaks up the shooting star with a superkick and the Thrill of the Kill gives Fantasma the pin on Sydal at 19:05.

Rating: C. Completely standard main event tag match here with two feuds put together to make a tag match. Fantasma pinning Sydal is fine and the right way to set something up for next week. Aries vs. Pentagon still doesn’t feel big no matter what they do, which is part of what’s wrong with Impact as a whole. The World Title should feel bigger than at least almost everything and that’s just not the case right now.

Overall Rating: D+. As usual, the problem with the new regime shines through: they’ve completely stabilized the stories but they’re not the most thrilling. Pentagon vs. Aries feels like nothing special, I forgot that Sydal was X-Division Champion, the comedy stuff isn’t funny and the Tag Team Titles are on life support because there are about three teams and Scott Steiner just lost a title. They need something interesting and big, which hasn’t been the case in a good while.

Results

Andrew Everett/DJZ b. Eli Drake/Scott Steiner – Standing shooting star press to Drake

Tessa Blanchard b. Kiera Hogan – Hammerlock DDT

Kongo Kong b. Grado – Top rope splash

Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Boston Knee Party

Brian Cage b. Facade – Weapon X

El Hijo Del Fantasma/Pentagon Jr. b. Austin Aries/Matt Sydal – Thrill of the Kill to Sydal

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Column: Cool. Tell Us About It.

Commentary needs to tell us things.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-cool-tell-us/




NXT – May 16, 2018: Take Two Of These And Call Me At Takeover

IMG Credit: WWE

NXT
Date: May 16, 2018
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Mauro Ranallo, Percy Watson

We’re a month away from Takeover: Chicago and that means we need a card. If there’s one thing NXT is capable of doing, it’s putting together a card in a hurry. There’s a bunch of stuff already set up and that’s enough to build a show in just a few weeks. If nothing else you can probably set up Gargano vs. Ciampa II. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Johnny Gargano’s music starts but it’s Tommaso Ciampa instead for a swerve. He says that he’s won the war with Gargano because Johnny has been broken and dispatched. Now there is only Ciampa. This brings out Candice LeRae to say that she’s done. She’s done putting up with the man who stood next to her and her husband on their wedding day. All Ciampa has to remember is that Gargano was better than him.

Ciampa says that Johnny may be better than him, but he’s more of a man than Gargano. That’s why Johnny sent Candice out here to do this for him. Candice talked about their wedding and it made Tommaso wonder how she was marrying Gargano. That earns him a slap to the face and Ciampa walks away. I know NXT is smart enough to not consider turning LeRae, but that’s what it felt like they were planting seeds for here.

Brandi Lauren vs. Lacey Evans

Lauren appeared in TNA as Ava Storie. Evans sends her into the corner for a chop and punches her down, setting up a picture perfect middle rope moonsault. A hard right hand (the Woman’s Right) is good for the pin on Lauren at 1:23.

Post match Kairi Sane runs out and spears Evans, who bails from the threat of an Insane Elbow.

We look back at Ricochet and Velveteen Dream’s exchange last week.

Aleister Black says if Ricochet thinks he’s the one and only, come prove it. He’s ready for them both.

Dakota Kai doesn’t know what’s up with Nikki Cross, who pops up with her own phone like a reporter and asks when Kai will be facing Shayna Baszler. As usual, Cross sounds like a psycho and says fight over and over.

Velveteen Dream vs. Ricochet

The fans like both of these guys, even as Ricochet works on an armbar. Dream can’t nip out of a headscissors so they trade headlocks instead. Back up and Dream armdrags him to the floor but Ricochet slides in for an enziguri. The threat of a dive has Dream sliding back in and landing right in front of Ricochet in the superhero pose. They fight into the corner and here’s Lars Sullivan to jump Ricochet for the DQ at 3:43, though they’ll call it a no contest because he beats Dream up a few seconds later.

Rating: C. It was fun while it lasted but this was angle advancement instead of a big time match. I’m glad they went with this ending because this could be a big time match and they would be foolish to put it in the middle of a regular episode of NXT. Ricochet is so smooth in the ring and Velveteen is like a more athletic Goldust from the 90s (well, the PG version at least) and that’s a very interesting combination.

Lars beats them both up and, indeed, it’s announced as a no contest.

Kona Reeves vs. Raul Mendoza

Reeves cranks on the arm and runs Raul over before going more aggressive with a bunch of stomping in the corner. A falling middle rope elbow hits Mendoza (ala Ted DiBiase, who Mauro was comparing Reeves to at the time) and it’s off to a cobra clutch, which can’t be a coincidence. Raul breaks out with a jawbreaker and an enziguri but Reeves kicks him out of the air. The Hawaiian Drop puts Raul away at 3:47.

Rating: D. I still have no idea what they’re seeing in Reeves because it’s not coming out here. There’s no real edge to him and his work isn’t great, especially that rather bad finisher. If they went with the Million Dollar Man idea it would at least be something but this is just “hey he’s Hawaiian”. If nothing else have him use different people’s offense every week or something. Just….more than this.

Ricochet is trying to get into Regal’s office when Dream shows up to do the same. They both want Sullivan and go into the office together.

Heavy Machinery talked about eating steaks with their mothers on Mother’s Day when they ran into TM61, who make fun of Machinery eating too much. A match is set up for next week. Otis says anyplace anytime, but I think he means at Full Sail and he’s specified a time.

Oney Lorcan/Danny Burch/Pete Dunne vs. Undisputed Era

Strong bails from Dunne to start and it’s off to O’Reilly vs. Burch. Danny takes him to the mat without much effort and grabs a headlock. O’Reilly gets him into the corner and it’s time for the rotating villainous knees to the ribs. They start in on the arm but Burch slips out of a fireman’s carry and drags Strong to the corner for the tag to Dunne. It’s time to start cranking on the arm and goes for the fingers, even as everyone else comes in.

Everything breaks down and Burch gets two off a clothesline. Dunne gets sent outside though and it’s a fireman’s carry backbreaker into a running kick to Burch’s chest for two. With everyone else on the floor, Burch snaps off a Crossface on O’Reilly. Everyone else comes back in and Dunne armbars Cole while Lorcan gets a half crab on Strong.

Roderick kicks Lorcan off and the domino effect finally breaks up the Crossface. Dunne and Cole fall to the floor and the regular teams slug it out inside. O’Reilly hits Cole by mistake though and Lorcan Blockbusters both of them at the same time. A wheelbarrow DDT ends Strong at 11:22.

Rating: B-. This feels like a preview for the British Strong Style vs. Undisputed Era match that has to be coming. If nothing else it sets up the Tag Team Title match at Takeover and you could probably make Dunne vs. Cole down the line (if nothing else, at Takeover as well) as a bonus. On the top of the list though, it’s NXT taking two people with talent but not doing much and turning them into something. That’s nice to see being done properly.

Next week: Dream/Ricochet vs. Sullivan in a handicap match.

The Brits want the belts to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a storyline development show and it came at the right time. They needed to start setting things up for next month and that’s exactly what they did here. Instead of doing random matches that don’t get you anywhere or a week of stand alone stuff, NXT put together a show that addressed multiple stories at once and probably gave us three matches for Takeover that can be announced in the coming weeks. As usual, well done.

Results

Lacey Evans b. Brandi Lauren – Woman’s Right

Ricochet vs. Velveteen Dream went to a no contest when Lars Sullivan interfered

Kona Reeves b. Raul Mendoza – Hawaiian Drop

Danny Burch/Oney Lorcan/Pete Dunne b. Undisputed Era – Wheelbarrow DDT to Strong

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – December 15, 2003: I Need A Break

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 15, 2003
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on the end of the year and to the shock of no one, it’s all about HHH again. This time though he’s nice enough to allow the rest of Evolution to join in as they swept the titles last night at Armageddon. That means we’re on the way to the Royal Rumble, where I’m sure HHH will give a rub to some young whippersnapper. Let’s get to it.

Here are the Armageddon results if you need a recap.

Here’s Evolution with all of the titles to open things up. HHH brags about claiming all of the gold last night because Evolution was always going to change the industry. Goldberg’s fans wanted to believe the hype but he’s HHH and with him there is no hype necessary. Tonight, the golden rule of Evolution begins: they have all the gold so they make all the rules. You know they didn’t have to ask HHH twice to do that speech.

Opening sequence.

Trish Stratus/Lita vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Rematch from last night. Trish isn’t exactly as fired up as usual here and Lawler hurt his voice screaming at last night’s match. Jericho and Trish start things off and again, Jericho isn’t thrilled with having to do this. Instead he tags Christian, which is a great way to show how he feels: bring in someone willing to beat the heck out of Trish.

Thankfully there’s no broken neck or anything and it’s off to Trish for two off a high crossbody. Christian clotheslines the heck out of both of them for two, pulling Trish up before three. Instead it’s an Unprettier for one as Jericho breaks up the cover. Jericho shoves Christian down and the match is stopped due to Trish being banged up.

Rating: D. That botch was terrible and the ending was a storyline advancement instead of anything noteworthy. Jericho getting closer to the face turn is interesting as this is starting to get a lot better. They could use this to change a lot about Jericho and that’s a good thing, especially considering how long he’s been a heel at the moment.

Post match Bischoff comes out and yells at Jericho. Chris yells right back and says this was a horrible idea. Jericho goes to leave but Bischoff makes Jericho vs. Kane for later tonight. With Jericho gone, Bischoff says he has an idea to reshape Raw forever (yes another one) and wants Foley out here for it. Post break here’s Foley who wants to talk about Steve Austin returning. Two weeks from tonight, he’ll be pleading his case with the Board of Directors and Austin will be there as well.

Bischoff calls Foley a disappointment because the fans want him to be the Hardcore Legend. We see a video on Foley’s career (I believe the old Desire video), which focuses heavily on Foley being beaten up. Bischoff wants Foley back in the ring and Foley has actually been thinking about returning. Say, against Bischoff for example. He’ll be back in the ring one day, but on his own terms.

Bischoff has his own idea though: Foley vs. Randy Orton tonight with Foley and Bischoff’s jobs on the line. Foley wisely says no because he knows what Bischoff is going to try. He knows Evolution will be out there, so Foley wants to get to pick the referee. Foley picks….Earl Hebner, but also wants Evolution and Bischoff banned from ringside.

Next week: the Best of 2003. So it’s a five minute show?

Booker T./Maven vs. Mark Henry/Matt Hardy

The Huffman Brothers unite. Matt, who always utilizes toilet seat covers, has to deal with Maven’s right hands and dropkicks to start. Maven’s charge misses in the corner though and it’s off to Henry to take over. A few hard shots have Maven down again and Matt comes back in to crank on both arms at once. More right hands in the corner keep Maven in trouble but a Russian legsweep is enough for the tag to Booker. Some forearms and a spinebuster get no cover because it’s Spinarooni time. Henry is low bridged to the floor and the ax kick finishes Matt.

Rating: D. Just a match here with Maven being as uninteresting as he could possibly be. He doesn’t have a look, he doesn’t do well in the ring and he can’t talk but he won a reality show about three years ago so we get to see him on Raw. Hopefully Booker vs. Henry is done as there’s not much of a point in continuing the thing when Booker pinned him clean last night.

Coach tries to interview Goldberg but gets beaten up behind a closed door. He is then thrown through said closed door.

Here’s La Resistance to mock Rock calling them, ahem, Fifi last week. That’s not the case but here’s Goldberg to destroy both of them. La Resistance was introduced for a match but there wasn’t even a referee in the ring. Goldberg breaks a French flag and waves an American one. WE GET IT ALREADY! FRANCE SUCKS AND AMERICA IS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER! NOW MOVE ON! Cue Bischoff to suspend Goldberg for thirty days.

Post break: JR: “I DESPISE ERIC BISCHOFF!” He rants about Goldberg being suspended for showing his patriotism and thankfully Lawler calms things down.

Foley is talking about wrestling being an addiction and asks someone if it’s something you can do once. He’s talking to Shawn Michaels, who says Mick is preaching to the choir. This business is like the mob: every time you think you’re out, they pull you back in. Shawn says it’s all worth it. Foley asks for his flannel shirt.

Shawn Michaels/Rob Van Dam vs. HHH/Ric Flair/Batista

Batista and Van Dam starts but Batista wants Shawn instead. That’s fine with Michaels and thankfully Batista doesn’t tag out like so many others would do. Shawn speeds things up and decks HHH and Flair, drawing them in for a standoff. Batista powers him into the corner though and it’s off to HHH, who gets punched down without much effort. Van Dam comes in to work on the arm so it’s off to Flair, who gets kicked in the face.

A poke to the eye cuts Shawn off (he never was that bright) and a right hand from HHH from the apron makes things even worse. Now it’s HHH coming in again and it’s amazing how much more energetic he seems here than in any Goldberg match. It’s back to Batista for the hard clothesline but let’s hear more from JR about Goldberg’s patriotism and Bischoff being a jerk. I bet he’s a commie too.

Shawn finally gets away from Batista and makes the hot tag to Van Dam for a bunch of kicks. The referee gets crushed in the corner though and Van Dam’s running shoulder makes it even worse. Rolling Thunder hits Batista and there’s the Five Star but Flair makes a save. The Pedigree plants Van Dam for a very delayed two (something tells me they had to beg HHH to allow that kickout). Flair grabs the Figure Four and we take a break. Back with HHH staying on the leg and JR apologizing for the abrupt break (I blame France. They’re not AMERICANS.).

Flair comes in for some chops and let’s plug the heck out of the main event again. I mean, they only have an hour and a half to hype it up. Some kicks to the face drop HHH and another to Flair are enough for the hot tag off to Shawn as things pick up again. The atomic drop sets up the top rope elbow to HHH for no cover. Everything breaks down with Rob knocking Batista outside, followed by a dive onto Batista and Flair. Sweet Chin Music finishes HHH, meaning it’s time for another Shawn World Title feud.

Rating: C+. The really annoying bits of commentary aside, this worked well enough, even if you have Evolution lose their first match after getting all the gold the night before. Shawn getting the World Title feud is annoying as we were there just a year ago but at least it seems to be just for the Rumble and the match should be good. Rob vs. Batista could be interesting too if that’s the way they go.

Rico vs. Jon Heidenreich

Rematch from last night on Heat where Rico won thanks to Miss Jackie interference. JR: “You gotta keep your eye on the ball there, though that may not be the best term to use with Rico.” Heidenreich slaps on an early bearhug but Rico kisses his way to freedom. A hip swivel into an elbow drop gets two on John and let’s talk about AMERICA some more.

We go a little more conventional with the chinlock as Lawler is rather impressed by Jackie’s outfit. Ok fair enough. The BORING chants begin so Heidenreich powers up with a backdrop for two and Jackie is panicking. The referee nearly gets bumped so Jackie gets in a cheap shot, allowing Rico to hit a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D-. I can go with pushing someone but the ceiling on Rico is very low with this horrible character. Jackie is a great addition and plays the manager role well but there’s nowhere to go with Rico in this character. Heidenreich isn’t exactly doing well, mainly due to being left off of TV for a few weeks after debuting. At least there’s still time to tweak him though as he doesn’t have a character to speak of.

Jericho tries to talk to Trish, who says she now sees the real him. She doesn’t want him to talk to her again.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Jericho gets smart by dropkicking the knee as Kane comes in but a few more shots don’t get him very far. Kane punches away in the corner as the announcers actually talk about stuff related to the match. I’m as shocked as you are. A raised boot in the corner cuts Kane off and a missile dropkick gets one. You can hear JR starting to sympathize with Jericho being up against such odds here, meaning the face turn is starting to work, even in small increments. The Walls are broken up with ease and Kane sends him outside for a whip into the steps. That’s enough for Jericho, who hits him in the head with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D. This wasn’t great but these two have never had the best chemistry. I’m interested in the face turn but I’ve always been a bigger fan of Jericho as a face than a heel. Having him try to be a good person to change Trish’s mind has long term potential, especially if WWE actually does it the right way for a change. In other words, don’t change course because they can’t be patient.

Post match Kane destroys him, including choking with a cord and a chokeslam. Christian comes out after Kane leaves but shoves Jericho down instead.

Earlier today, some Raw wrestlers were at an Air Force base.

Orton comes in to see Bischoff, who gives him a pep talk and tells him to think smart tonight. Bischoff wants Foley to chase Orton to wear him down. Ignore the locker room rumors that Orton can’t live up to his potential too. Orton freaks out at the idea of such rumors and is ready to step out of everyone’s shadows.

People wish Foley luck, including Shawn. Foley gives Shawn a World Title shot in two weeks.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Mick Foley

Orton is defending and this is billed as Winner Take All. Before the bell, Foley heads outside and slaps himself in the head a few times. Foley walks around for a bit….and leaves with his head down. No match.

Orton chases after Foley, who is leaving with his stuff. Bischoff catches up to Foley and asks what’s going on. If Foley leaves, he’s out of power. Foley keeps walking so here’s Orton to yell at him. Orton notices a tear in Foley’s eye and says legends don’t cry. He spits on Foley, who leaves without saying a word to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. And so, evil wins again. To recap, Goldberg is suspended and Foley walks away due to being a coward or whatever they’re going for there, all while Evolution reigns on high. Oh but wait: Shawn is getting a World Title shot and Austin might be back. That puts us right back where we were a few months ago, albeit with Shawn as the latest unlikely challenger to take the title from HHH.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Goldberg’s run was a nice breather, but HHH is the star of this show and there’s no way around it. This show is run by the villains and we’re lucky to get a month or so off from the status quo. Even when Goldberg was champion, he was injured and off the show for awhile while HHH dominated the show despite not even wrestling. Not a bad show this week, but a change from the HHH Show would be nice.




Smackdown – May 15, 2018: The Difference Between Dumb And Fun

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 15, 2018
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We get a quick recap of Styles vs. Nakamura.

Here’s Daniel Bryan for a chat with Renee Young to get things going. She can barely get her questions in though as the DANIEL BRYAN chants are a bit too loud. After they die down a bit, Bryan talks about how he lost last week and no one likes losing. He’s back and willing to scratch and claw his way to the top because he wants to be WWE Champion. Cue Big Cass to mock Bryan, saying that he was Bryan’s first major setback since his return to WWE. Yeah he tapped out at Backlash, but only so he could get out of the hold to keep beating on Bryan even more.

Cass takes credit for Bryan’s loss to Rusev last week and says Bryan will never be able to do anything without a seven foot shadow following him. He gets in the ring so Bryan goes straight for the knee with a series of kicks before wrapping it around the post. Referees come out but but can’t stop Bryan from hitting a chop block and slapping on a heel hook. Good segment, now get Bryan on from Cass.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: New Day vs. The Bar

A double DDT gets two on Big E. and Cesaro grabs a Sharpshooter. Woods comes in for the save and gets in his own DDT for two. A wheelbarrow faceplant slams Cesaro into the mat so Sheamus comes in for a save this time around. Big E. spears Sheamus through the ropes, leaving Woods to drop the elbow for the pin on Cesaro at 9:25. As expected, there was no mention of Miz pinning the US Champion.

Rating: C-. In theory this should put Woods in the ladder match but I could see him saying that he doesn’t deserve it. To be fair, no one would buy Woods as a threat to win the thing so switching him out for Big E. or Kofi wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world. New Day vs. Bar has been a fine enough feud and tying something like this into it wasn’t the worst idea in the world.

The Bludgeon Brothers look at various teams and say friendship is a disease. They’re waiting.

Paige is on the phone with Carmella and says she can’t have a horse drawn carriage entrance. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville come in and say Mandy is going to Money in the Bank. Paige says not so fast because tonight, she can have a qualifying match. That’s not cool with Sonya, who wants one too. Paige gives them both a match against Becky Lynch, which makes them think it’s a handicap match because they’re not that bright. Paige spells it out for them and they seem a bit nervous.

Andrade Cien Almas vs. Jake Constantino

Must be Rico’s cousin. Jake gets in an armdrag before being knocked into the corner for the running knees. The hammerlock DDT ends Constantino at 1:19.

Post match Vega says she isn’t impressed because they’re here to take over.

Rusev Day are in the back to insult London. Aiden English has a new song for when Rusev wins Money in the Bank but Lana comes in to says she’s in a qualifying match next week too. They’ll dominate Smackdown on Rusev Day. The tension between Lana and English was gone here, almost to the level of Lana’s accent being gone.

It’s time for the Royal Mellabration and she has a town crier to introduce her. Some beef eaters bring out the title and here’s Carmella to come to the ring where there’s a big leopard print pillow for the title. Carmella orders them to cheer for her but then complains about the silence. These people will cheer for a baby outside of a hospital and now they won’t give her the same treatment? She’s champion so she’s better than everyone else and lists off a bunch of names beneath her. Cue Paige to announce Carmella vs. Asuka at Money in the Bank. Asuka comes out and Carmella panics as she leaves.

Nakamura can’t understand Renee’s questions. He’ll win tonight.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Becky Lynch vs. Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville

Mandy lets the other two fight and then jumps Becky from behind. A rollup gets two on Sonya and the argument takes us to a break. Back with Sonya hammering on Becky but a Bexploder gets her out of trouble. Mandy tries to steal the pin and gets thrown down by Sonya, who sends her to the floor.

Becky gets the better of a slugout and goes up, leaving Mandy to put Sonya in an electric chair. A missile dropkick to Mandy brings them both down but Sonya breaks up the Disarm-Her. Sonya gets kicked down again though and the Disarm-Her makes Mandy tap at 8:00 to send Becky to Money in the Bank.

Rating: C. Mandy and Sonya are getting better in the ring but neither is ready for such a big spot. Becky is someone who could be a big deal in the division for a long time to come and there’s no reason to not put her in here. You can put the Iconics in for a better performance in the heel tag role than Mandy and Sonya so there’s not much to complain about here.

Samoa Joe doesn’t like Big Cass targeting people smaller than him so he’ll target Cass next week in their qualifying match. He doesn’t care how big Cass is because he can be put to sleep.

The Iconics play a word association game and say Billie will beat Lana next week in the qualifying match.

AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title with the winner getting to pick next week’s stipulation. The battle over a wristlock doesn’t go anywhere so AJ dropkicks him down to pick up the pace a bit. A slingshot forearm to the floor has Nakamura in more trouble but he posts AJ for a breather. Back from a break with Nakamura kicking AJ against the ropes and choking in the corner. Good Vibrations sets up a running kick to AJ’s face and we hit a dragon sleeper.

AJ fights out and puts Nakamura on top for a Pele. The running seated forearm drops Nakamura again and AJ nips up as the pace quickens. The belly to back faceplant gets two but a spinning kick to the face rocks Styles. Nakamura gets two off the Landslide (Samoan driver) but misses the running knee in the corner.

He’s fine enough to break up a springboard though and a kick to the ribs sends AJ to the apron. Kinshasa misses but AJ can’t get the Calf Crusher. The sliding knee gets two but Kinshasa is blocked with a spinwheel kick. The Phenomenal Forearm nearly hits the referee and Nakamura claims a low blow. That’s enough of a distraction to set up Kinshasa for the pin on Styles at 17:30.

Rating: B+. That’s the best match they’ve had yet and Nakamura needed to win something at some point. I’m still really not big on having a match to set up another match but this is better than a lot of the nonsense this company gives us at times. I’m not sure what the stipulation will be but they have a few options as we head towards Money in the Bank, especially with Nakamura’s quirky sense of humor at times.

No stipulation is picked to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I don’t remember the last time you could feel the difference in the presentation between the two shows like you could this week. Raw was beating us over the head with the same ideas and Roman Reigns didn’t exactly help things. This show, while not exactly a masterpiece, focused on some other stuff outside of Money in the Bank and didn’t have a really dumb story as a bonus. It’s amazing how much easier that is to sit through and it made for a better show. I know Raw isn’t going to change, but it’s not hard to see why this show is better.

Results

New Day b. The Bar – Top rope elbow to Cesaro

Andrade Cien Almas b. Jake Constantino – Hammerlock DDT

Becky Lynch b. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville – Disarm-Her to Rose

Shinsuke Nakamura b. AJ Styles – Kinshasa

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Ring of Honor Supercard of Honor XII: And Now They Can Afford It

IMG Credit: Ring of Honor Wrestling

Supercard of Honor XII
Date: April 7, 2018
Location: UNO Lakefront Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Colt Cabana

It’s time for one of the biggest shows of the year in front of the biggest crowd Ring of Honor has ever had. I know I criticize them a lot but drawing 6,000 people (at least mostly paid, if not the vast majority) is no small task and they deserve some serious credit for pulling that off. Tonight is a double main event with Cody vs. Kenny Omega as part of the Bullet Club Civil War and Dalton Castle defending the World Title against Marty Scurll. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Women of Honor Title Tournament Semifinals: Mayu Iwatani vs. Kelly Klein

Instead Iwatani goes up and scores with a double stomp for no cover again. Klein blocks the snap dragon suplex but can’t block the reverse hurricanrana. Well she kind of can’t as she goes down, but lands on her back like a German suplex instead of flipping over. That’s good for two as well but Klein is right back with a front face DDT. A good northern lights suplex gives Mayu two but Klein suplexes her into the End of the Match (guillotine choke, with a great name) and Iwatani is out at 8:59.

Rating: C+. Klein winning here makes sense as the victory over a big international name makes her feel like a bigger deal. In addition, you don’t build Klein up as undefeated and then have an outsider come in and get the first win over her. This sets Klein up to lose in the finals, allowing whoever beats her to look like an even bigger deal.

Pre-Show: Women of Honor Title Tournament Semifinals: Sumie Sakai vs. Tenille Dashwood

Sakai is a veteran who has been around Ring of Honor for the majority of the company’s history. However, I couldn’t tell you much about her because she’s just a woman who wrestles without much else to her. Dashwood is the ball of charisma that used to be known as Emma. A very early clothesline gives Dashwood two but a spinning fisherwoman’s suplex gives Sakai the same.

Dashwood sends her into the corner over and over and grabs the Tarantula as they’re certainly starting fast. Sakai gets sent outside for a heck of a dive and it’s Dashwood in full control early on. Back in and it’s time to work on Sakai’s knee as Ian goes through Sakai’s wrestling lineage. That’s escaped so Sakai goes for a cross armbreaker into a Crossface.

It’s too early for a submission though so Sakai misses a charge into the corner and Dashwood adds a Taste of Tenille (running crossbody in the corner) for two. A Batista Bomb gets the same but Sakai is right back with Smashmouse for the same. With nothing else working, Sakai heads up top and gets release German superplexed back down for another near fall. The Spotlight kick misses though and Sakai grabs a crucifix to advance at 7:54.

Rating: C. Commentary helped Sakai here as I know nothing about her save for the little bites I’m getting here and there. I need something more than “she wrestles and she’s been here for a long time” and this was at least inching in that direction. I’m also surprised that they had Dashwood lose here as her vs. Klein seemed like a bit of a layup. Sakai better win at this point or there’s not much of a point in this result.

Post match Klein comes out for the photo op but decks Sakai from behind instead.

The opening video takes a quick look at the history of the promotion (as in about thirty seconds with clips and a standard “we’ve been doing this for a long time” voiceover) before moving into the quick clips about each match. Cody vs. Omega’s clip is on last, which I get here for a change. Cody’s line that Omega is everyone’s favorite underground band but no one can name any of their songs is still awesome.

The crowd looks great and it’s very cool to see this company reach this point.

Chuckie T. vs. Jonathan Gresham

Feeling out process to start with Gresham taking Chuckie down with almost no effort but letting him right back up. Chuckie takes him down and works on the leg with Gresham not being able to spin out. Who knew Chuckie could do that? Gresham blocks a lift from the mat with a wag of the finger (oh it’s on now) so Chuckie goes with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker instead. The moonsault misses (as is its custom) and Gresham snaps off a hurricanrana to put Chuckie on the floor.

Gresham tries a suicide dive but goes over Chuckie’s head for a nasty looking crash. Chuckie’s friend Trent Barretta offers a distraction though and Chuckie’s second backbreaker gets two. A rollup into an ankle lock has Chuckie in more trouble as Gresham is starting to roll. Chuckie slips out and gets two off a Falcon Arrow but Gresham gets in a knee to Chuckie’s knee. That just earns him Soul Food (Eat Defeat) and a small package gives Chuckie the pin at 8:29.

Rating: C. Fine choice for an opener here as the fans like Chuckie and it’s not like Gresham loses anything by taking a fall here. He got to do his stuff and then get pinned so it all works out well. Not a bad match either with the fans getting to see something fun, though this probably could have been a pre-show match rather than the tournament stuff.

Some demonic looking guy comes up to the announcers’ table, leaving something there (later revealed to be an alligator claw) and saying something I couldn’t make out.

Punishment Martinez vs. Tomohiro Ishii

Non-title (Ishii won the Rev Pro UK Heavyweight Title the night before in a great match and has the title with him here) and this could be fun. Martinez now comes out of a casket and has a mask during his entrance. Well that’s certainly more intimidating. Ishii gets a crazy reaction and you shouldn’t be expecting anything else. They do the tall vs. short staredown and Ishii goes straight to the forearms and shoulder blocks.

Martinez shrugs it off and takes him into the corner for some clotheslines. Ishii shrugs off some kicks to the face and hits his own running corner clothesline. A heavily muscled up suplex drops Martinez for two but he’s right back up with a kick to the head to send Ishii outside. The over the top dive overshoots Ishii and Martinez lands ON HIS HEAD with Cabana clearly sounding nervous on commentary.

Rating: B-. Sweet goodness what a showcase for Martinez. If nothing else, to beat the heck out of a monster like Ishii is a big deal, especially in Ring of Honor where New Japan guys are revered. This should move Martinez up the ladder and towards the World Title, which is a place you could keep him in for a long time in an athletic Kane kind of role. Ishii barely got in anything here and I wouldn’t be surprised to see a rematch somewhere else, perhaps in Rev Pro for the title.

Hangman Page vs. Kota Ibushi

No backstory here but it’s part of Kenny Omega reforming the Golden Lovers with Ibushi, which didn’t sit well with the Bullet Club, including Page. They start slow with Page powering him around off a lockup and then headlocking Ibushi for good measure. Page’s standing shooting star misses but so does Ibushi’s kick to the chest. The second attempt at the kick works far better and Page is down with Ibushi not following up.

A neckbreaker across the middle rope (hangman style of course) puts Ibushi down again though and the fans are not pleased with Page. It takes a lot to get the Bullet Club booed so well done. A bridging fall away slam (meaning it’s not exactly falling away) gets two as Colt talks about wrestling in every Veterans of Foreign Wars hall in America. Ibushi gets tired of the trash talk and hits a very smooth dropkick to put Page down, followed by a standing moonsault. They’re doing well with giving Ibushi those bursts of offense while Page controls for the most part.

Ibushi hurricanranas him to the floor but Page is ready to break up the moonsault to the floor. Page jumps to the barricade and Ibushi GERMAN SUPLEXES HIM ONTO HIS HEAD (making my mouth come open on the terrifying landing), thankfully with Page writhing in pain instead of, you know, not moving.

Now the running moonsault to the floor drops Page again and you know that’s getting a standing ovation. Back in and a kneeling Tombstone gives Page two and he can’t believe the kickout. Ibushi goes with the simple idea of kicking him in the head but gets backdropped onto the apron. A great looking moonsault to the floor drops Ibushi again and the Buck Shot Lariat gets two.

The pinfall reversal sequence gives us a sequences of reversed pinfalls until Ibushi grabs a German suplex for two more. They slug it out from their knees and then on their feet with Ibushi asking him to hit harder. It turns into a slap off until Page hits the discus forearm to the jaw. The sitout Last Ride gets two and an arm trap German suplex gets the same. That’s it for Ibushi who SMASHES Page in the face with a knee for the pin at 14:31.

Rating: B+. That knee alone was worth it. These two beat the heck out of each other and it turned into a great spectacle with both guys showing how hard they were working to beat the other. The dives were awesome and the shots were hard, which is all you could ask for here. Page was awesome as well and looked like he belonged on this level, which says a lot when you consider that he was a young boy when they were in New Orleans for Supercard of Honor in 2014.

We recap the pre-show tournament semifinals.

Women of Honor Title: Sumie Sakai vs. Kelly Klein

The title is vacant coming in and Daffney is at ringside. I’m not sure why as she was never a champion that I know of, but she wrestled in the previous generation so she’s a legend or something. Sumie isn’t up for waiting on the bell and jumps Kelly before the bell, only to get suplexed down for her efforts. A rollup gives Sakai one so Kelly grabs a Stun Gun. They head outside with Klein in full control as the announcers talk about how Sakai is pretty much done. Just get her nameplates ready then.

The End of the Match goes on outside but Klein lets it go in a hurry. Why? Other than the twenty count she could hold that thing as long as she wants. Back in and Sumie slips out of a super fall away slam and hits a kind of rollup powerbomb to drop Klein. The fisherwoman’s suplex looks to set up a victory roll but Klein muscles her over for a German suplex.

Cue a bunch of people from the tournament to watch at ringside as Sakai gets dropped with another shot to the chest. Klein gets two off a northern lights suplex and Sakai grabs a fisherwoman’s buster. Sakai misses a moonsault (she might have grazed Klein) so it’s a really bad looking DDT to put Klein away (her first pinfall loss in ROH) for the pin and the title at 7:44. The DDT was so messy looking that I wouldn’t be surprised if the moonsault was supposed to be the finish and Sakai did whatever she could for the finish.

Rating: D+. What the heck was that? We spent months (years in some cases) talking about how important this thing was and the final doesn’t even get eight minutes? In a pretty lame match too? The ending was bad as well as you can’t even have Sakai hit her finisher? And why is Sakai champion again? She’s been here a long time? That’s the best reason you have?

I really don’t know about this as you have better, more interesting options but this is what we get, possibly as a thank you for her work in the division. You know, the thing that wasn’t even worth eight minutes and had its other matches (neither of which broke nine minutes) on the pre-show. This felt like ROH saying “there, you have your title now” and that’s not how this was built up, which is a lot more annoying than anything else. Not a very good match and an even more questionable choice to win the thing.

Sakai holds up the title in what feels like a very rushed celebration.

We get a graphic for the next match and miss Klein and Sakai hugging. Back in the arena, the rest of the women hug Sakai as the graphic for the next match is still on the screen. Good grief if you don’t care, don’t pretend that you do.

We recap the Six Man Tag Team Title match. So Cal Uncensored and the Young Bucks/a variety of partners have been feuding over the titles for months now with So Cal Uncensored winding up with the titles thanks to doing horrible things to Matt Jackson’s back. They need to hold onto the titles to avoid being fired at the end of the year so tonight it’s a ladder match with Flip Gordon fighting on the Bucks’ side.

Six Man Tag Team Titles: So Cal Uncensored vs. Young Bucks/Flip Gordon

So Cal Uncensored is defending in a ladder match with Shane Taylor on commentary. It’s a brawl to start (well duh) and Gordon kicks the first ladder into Scorpio. Nick hits a corkscrew dive over the top to take Daniels down and Kazarian gets a ladder tossed into his face. Sky tries a flip dive….over the Bucks….who are holding a ladder….which they use to cover themselves. Even Cabana has no idea what that was supposed to be.

Back in and Daniels accidentally clotheslines Kazarian over the top but miscommunication drops Matt as well. Daniels uses the distraction to go up but Matt throws Nick onto the ladder for the save. Gordon and Kazarian clothesline each other down, leaving Daniels to throw Nick off the top and onto the ropes. Now it’s Kazarian and Gordon both jumping onto the ladder for a slugout on top until Kazarian takes him down with a huge TKO. All six are back in with the Bucks and Gordon suplexing Daniels and Sky.

The Bucks start taking over and let’s hit those….Wild and Crazy Kids references? I KNEW I WATCHED THIS SHOW FOR A REASON! With Daniels on the ladder on the bottom rope, the Bucks backflip Gordon into a 450 for the next crazy spot. Kazarian is back up with the ladder around his head but Gordon nips up to avoid shot after shot. The double superkick to the ladder brings Kazarian down, followed by Matt hitting the 450 onto Sky onto the ladder.

Matt goes up top but a ladder to the back brings him down again as the champs take over. Sky is back up and snaps off a super hurricanrana to drop Gordon. Celebrity Rehab onto the ladder rocks Matt again but Gordon is back up with a series of kicks and a monkey flip to send Kazarian into the ladder. Another flip dive drops Daniels, leaving the Bucks to beat up Scorpio.

Kazarian brings in a ladder so Matt stomps onto it, crushing Kazarian’s hand in a nasty crunch. A wheelbarrow cutter sends Daniels into the ladder and it’s off to a Cease and Desist on Sky through the ladder. Flip climbs up at the same time but Daniels uses a ladder for the save. Kazarian tries a hurricanrana over the top but takes out Daniels by mistake, leaving Flip to flip onto all of them.

Since the Bucks aren’t that bright, Nick dives onto everyone else before going up, allowing the Kingdom, in Dudley Boyz camouflage, to make the save. Rock Star Supernova plants Matt but they beat up the champs as well. TK O’Ryan, who isn’t in the match, climbs up but everyone else turns the ladder over. The Bucks superkick So Cal Uncensored down but all six climb at the same time. Gordon gets smart by jumping to the very top of the ladder and touches the belts. That earns him a shot from Daniels, sending Gordon face first onto the top of the ladder and down to the mat in a bad crash.

Kazarian and Matt fight on the top until Daniels takes Matt down with a Downward Spiral from the top. The others go down as well and it’s time to clear some ladders out. It’s time for the big ladder but before the climbing can start, Kazarian gets superkicked. The Kingdom has to be taken out again and Nick DDTs Kazarian onto the apron. Gordon springboards into a double blockbuster to take Sky and Daniels onto the pile….and it’s table time.

O’Ryan and Sky are laid onto said tables and that means stereo 450 splashes to the floor. Daniels is left alone to go up but Matt runs up for a save. In a smart move, Daniels drops down and shoves the ladder over, sending Matt through Marseglia through a table. That’s enough for Daniels to go up and pull down the titles at 24:08.

Rating: A-. It’s a great match but as is always the case with these things, all the ladder matches start to run together after awhile. There’s really nothing here that makes it stand out but the spots were cool and the ending worked. I’m glad the Bucks didn’t win again at least but there was too much Kingdom for my taste. Still though, solid stuff.

Post match the Kingdom steals the titles and run off.

We look at some highlights while the ring is cleaned up.

It’s intermission time and that means we get to see the pre-pre-show match.

Brian Milonas/Beer City Bruiser vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Luke and PJ Hawx

Caprice Coleman is on commentary. I’ve heard a lot about Hawx but I don’t know if I’ve ever seen more than one or two of his matches. PJ (apparently Luke’s son) works on Shelley’s wrist to start before it’s off to Luke for some backbreakers to Sabin. Chris kicks PJ away but Bruiser comes in to lumber people over. Milonas’ falling splash gets two on PJ and the big guys crush him for good measure.

A side slam/big boot combination (the Authors of Pain used to use that) plants Shelley and the big guys are dominating. Sabin comes back in to slug away but gets crushed by Bruiser in the corner. PJ is up as well though and cleaning house with a big dive to the floor. You don’t have a big pile on the floor with Milonas around though and it’s a cannonball to crush them all. Back in and the PowerPlex destroys PJ for the pin at 6:17.

Rating: D+. I still don’t care for Milonas and Bruiser but this was perfectly fine for an opening match to warm up the crowd. They kept it short and the dives were good to move things along. This is a case where the match might not have been the best but it was the right way to do things, which is what matters most in this situation.

The intermission keeps going for a few more minutes.

Tag Team Titles: Jay Lethal/Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Briscoes

The Briscoes are defending and there’s no story here. Lethal and Tanahashi are two great singles guys and they’re getting a shot at the titles. I’ve heard worse ideas, especially when the Briscoes are such dominant champions. For the sake of simplicity I’ll only refer to Jay Brisco as Jay. Lethal and Jay start things off with a lockup going nowhere. Briscoe shoulders him down and snaps off a hurricanrana (you don’t see him do that very often) and it’s off to Mark vs. Tanahashi.

Mark wastes no time in going after the hair so Tanahashi busts out the crane kick pose. Red neck kung fu is no match for a dragon screw legwhip and we hit the GO ACE chant. The middle rope swanton gets two as we’re still waiting to get into the second phase here. Lethal comes back in for a pair of basement dropkicks and even knocks Jay off the apron as a bonus. You don’t do that to Jay though and Lethal gets his head knocked off as a result.

Mark’s running apron dropkick keeps Lethal in trouble and I wouldn’t expect that to change for a while. As you might guess, this turns into a discussion of super bands and how they don’t have the most success in the world. Lethal chops both champs and sends Mark outside, with Tanahashi following instead of taking a tag. The suicide dive takes Jay down and it’s off to Tanahashi for two off a standing backsplash. That means a fight over a suplex with neither being able to pull it off. Mark adds in a kick to the back and it’s Jay kicking Tanahashi in the face to take over.

We’re off to the camel clutch, followed by a big double shoulder from the champs. A Sling Blade to Mark is enough for the hot tag off to Lethal as things pick up again. The Lethal Combination and a cutter are enough to set up a Figure Four. Mark comes in with the Froggy Bow for the save and Jay’s brainbuster gets two on Lethal. The Lethal Injection is only good for two on Mark and the fans think that was three. Tanahashi is back in but a Doomsday Device is broken up. Instead Jay gives Lethal a German suplex and the real Doomsday Device retains the titles at 19:36.

Rating: B. As mentioned, this was two great singles guys getting a Tag Team Title match so I’m not sure how much of a chance fans were really giving them. What they did have though was a rather good match, which is all you can ask for here. The Briscoes are as good as anyone right now and there’s no need to do anything more than put in a solid performance. Ring of Honor has a deep tag division but no one is anywhere close to their level (save for maybe the Bucks) so this is as good of an idea as they can do.

We recap Silas Young vs. Kenny King for the TV Title. They’ve traded the title a few times now so tonight is the final battle (as opposed to their match at Final Battle) in a Last Man Standing match.

Before we get to the match, here’s Austin Aries (with a banana in his pocket) to say he wants the winner of this match. He’ll be on commentary here.

TV Title: Silas Young vs. Kenny King

King is defending and it’s Last Man Standing. Silas loads up a table before King comes out as Aries complains about not having a place to put all of his belts. King punches him into the corner to start but gets his head taken off by a running clothesline. A swinging Rock Bottom backbreaker puts Young down as the announcers want to know how Aries is allowed to be here. King goes with a Boston crab to slow Young down before switching to the Last Chancery (Aries: “WHOA WHOA WHOA!”). It’s cool as Aries has given his permission, but King is botching the execution.

Young fights up and tosses King over the top and through the table for an eight count. Some whips into the barricade and right hands have King in more trouble but Young stops to yell at the fans. Back in and King manages a backbreaker onto the turnbuckle, followed by an apron Blockbuster to the floor. Aries isn’t sure if that’s worth the risk to your own body and as usual, he’s got a good point. Young is up at eight and they head back inside, only to walk into a spinebuster to stay on the back.

They head to the apron and Young’s back is fine enough to hit Misery, sending King face first onto said apron for an eight. It’s trashcan time with King taking a shot to the back, causing Ian to bust out a Bangin on a Trashcan reference, making him the greatest commentator of all time. King dropkicks the can lid into Young’s face and the Royal Flush onto the can for nine with Young rolling underneath the ropes to land on his feet in a smart save.

A quick suplex onto a ladder has Young in trouble again and a shooting star from the top to the floor drives him through a table in the big spot of the match. They’re both down with Young pulling himself up on the barricade but King’s feet have been tied up by Bruiser, who was hiding underneath the ring. Oh come on with that stupid ending.

Rating: C+. This was good for the most part but that ending was ridiculous. So King hits the big finishing spot but HAHA screwy finish to end the feud! They were trying to make King look good but put the title back on Young too and that’s not a good idea. You have to pick one or the other and trying to go in the middle just makes me roll my eyes as the backdoor they’re trying to go through hit them in the head on the way out. The rest of the match was fun stuff and the usual good brawling, but it could have moved at a somewhat faster pace.

Post match the double beatdown is on but Aries runs in for the save.

Since Ring of Honor apparently doesn’t have scissors, King has to hop away with his feet still tied. Thanks for the big spot dude. Enjoy your reward.

Cheeseburger/Eli Isom vs. The Dawgs

We’re nearly three hours into this show, have the double main event to go, and THIS GETS PAY PER VIEW TIME??? The announcers nearly laugh at Cheeseburger for picking Isom when people like Austin Aries, Colt Cabana, or ANYONE ON THE ROSTER is available. The Dawgs jump them before the bell and Isom gets crotched against the post. His knee gets crushed with a chair and here’s Bully Ray for the save.

With the Dawgs on the floor, Ray calls them scumbags for jumping their opponents before the bell. Since Cheeseburger doesn’t have a partner, the match has to be thrown out. Cheeseburger begs Ray to be his partner so Ray can have a final fight to go with his final moment. He appeals to Ray not wanting to disappoint 6,000 people so Ray says ring the bell.

Cheeseburger/Bully Ray vs. The Dawgs

The beating is on with the Dawgs in trouble and a Bionic Elbow to Ferrara. There’s the palm strike and Cheeseburger plays D-Von in What’s Up. Ray tells him to get the tables and then chokeslams Cheeseburger. If you actually call this a match….I’m not sure why.

Ray asks Cheeseburger who he thinks he is for putting him on the spot like that. Cheeseburger is what’s wrong with wrestling (yep) like the rest of his kind. This entire generation is selfish, spoiled and entitled because they think it’s all about them. It’s guys like Cheeseburger, Will Ospreay, Flip Gordon and Ricochet that have destroyed wrestling. Cue COO Joe Koff to ask what’s going on but Ray says signing people like Cheeseburger is killing wrestling. Koff, who doesn’t have a mic, yells a lot as Cabana wants Ray out of the ring (yep).

Now it’s Flip Gordon coming out but Ray loads up a piledriver, which would end the show here and now with no questions asked. Ray tells the young boy to get off the apron, which has Cabana calling the old bitter vets the problem with wrestling. More insults to Koff are followed by Ray putting on his WWE Hall of Fame ring (Cabana: “Then go over there. Go to New York.” You know, where so many of this company’s shows are held.) and powerbombing Cheeseburger to FINALLY end this.

Where do I even begin here? First of all, this was fifteen minutes on a show that is already approaching four hours with two major matches to go. That’s about twice as long as the Women’s Title match received. Second, I can’t stand Cheeseburger so I don’t know why I’m supposed to be disagreeing with Ray.

Cheeseburger is pretty much the Ring of Honor mascot and I need a lot more than that to make me care about him. Wow he’s a small guy with foam cheeseburgers and Jushin Thunder Liger taught him a move. WHO CARES??? I get that he’s not supposed to be taken seriously but he’s been on the show for at least the last few years in the same role and stories. This company doesn’t have a lot of TV time and wasting it on him gets old in a hurry.

Other than that, this very easily could have been done on TV instead of adding even more time to an already long pay per view. Throw in Ray being the face boss for what, three weeks or so, and it’s already feeling like a warmed over WWE/TNA storyline. This was a big waste of time and I was agreeing with a lot of what the heel was saying. Do this later (if you absolutely have to do it) and stop inflating your shows. Modern wrestling companies do not grasp the idea of less being more sometimes and it would really be a nice lesson for them to learn.

We recap Cody vs. Kenny Omega in the battle of the Bullet Club. So a little over a year ago, Cody joined the Bullet Club, led by Kenny, and slowly started trying to take over. This didn’t sit well with Kenny and the rest of the team has been pulled into the middle. Of course to know the full thing you have to watch New Japan and the Being the Elite webseries but since I don’t watch either, those are the details I’m going into this with instead of doing a bunch of research.

Cody vs. Kenny Omega

Cody comes in with Bernard the Business Bear (there better be a good reveal), Brandi Rhodes, and a bunch of cops. The fans lose their minds at the opening bell but hang on because Cody needs a kiss from Brandi. It takes over a minute to lock up….and they immediately cut to the crowd. Cody’s headlock goes nowhere as Kenny kicks him to the floor and runs the ropes until Bernard trips him up.

Omega dives onto Bernard and takes off the head revealing….just a guy, or at least someone not important enough to show. Cody uses the distraction to get in a cheap shot as the bear is ejected. Oh come on now. Hasn’t he suffered enough? Cody loads up Shattered Dreams but stops and flips off the crowd instead. So to clarify: the WWE Hall of Famer who works here is a heel move but Goldust is a face. Got it. I think? The fans sing for Omega and are rewarded by Cody powerbombing him to cut off a comeback attempt.

The American Deathlock goes on but Kenny makes the rope, only to be slapped by Brandi. In a blatant bit of cheating, Cody has a foreign object thrown in but uses the referee distraction to kick Omega low. All Cody so far. The beating continues on the floor with Cody shifting his focus to the back. Omega gets sent face first into a chair but hang on because Cody has to steal a beer and spit it at fans. Of course that gets Cody a chant and it’s time to slap it out.

Omega gets the better of the chopping but his moonsault hits knees. Cody heads outside and takes one heck of a suicide dive, followed by a sitout bulldog for two back inside. Something like Adam Cole’s old Last Shot plants Cody again and there’s the V Trigger for a big reaction. A pair of Snapdragons makes things even worse but Cody breaks up a third attempt and scores with a Disaster Kick for two.

Another V Trigger in the corner looks to set up the One Winged Angel but Cody reverses into a Figure Four instead. Omega is in trouble and rolls around to little avail. A few slaps to the face wake him up enough for the turnover though and the hold is broken. Cody grabs a dragon screw legwhip to send Omega to the apron and it’s table time (Kevin: “Did we have a banquet earlier today?”).

Cross Rhodes through the table is broken up and a piledriver is blocked as well with Omega trying the Snapdragon on the apron. It knocks Cody down, though it would be a little more effective if Cody’s head actually touched the apron. Amazingly enough that’s not enough to finish Cody, who picks Omega up and drops him ribs first on the side of the table for a good looking crash. Instead of, you know, using the table again, Cody throws Omega back in for two off the Alabama Slam (almost no reaction from the crowd) and they’re both down again.

Another V Trigger rocks Cody and the reverse hurricanrana gets almost no rotation and Cody nearly lands on his back. Again, the fans aren’t reacting to most of this stuff and it’s not a good sign when they’re only about twenty minutes in to what’s likely going to be a crazy long match. Brandi sets up a table on the floor and gets on the apron, meaning it’s a missed V Trigger to put her through the table. Kenny is distracted so Cross Rhodes gets a close two, again with VERY little reaction.

Cody doesn’t know that Brandi is down so here’s Flip Gordon to help her out, following up on a Being the Elite angle. I know that’s the case because commentary tells us about it, which is all I need. A superplex brings Omega back down and it’s time for a whipping with the weightlifting belt as we move into the Hollywood Hogan period. Cody misses the moonsault though and one heck of a knee to the face has him in even more trouble.

Two more running knees get two (Remember: when Omega spams moves, he’s awesome. When someone in WWE does it, they’re not real wrestlers.) but the One Winged Angel is reversed into a Vertebreaker for two more. We get the required ref bump (How else are you going to get the Bucks in there?) and a double crossbody puts both guys down. Cue the Bucks (with a Being the Elite camera) to decide whom to superkick. They aim for Cody but hit Omega instead with reality setting in very quickly. Cross Rhodes gives Cody the pin at 36:35.

Rating: B-. Well, it was good and long (you could have cut 10-15 minutes) and it advanced the story. The problem is this felt like a big chapter but not a chapter important enough for 36 minutes of nothing mind blowing. Cody can’t get to that level and it’s showing more and more every time he’s in a major match. They did a very good job of explaining things that set up the match and feud, which was a major issue coming in so well done there. Overall though, this was lacking and nothing that I’m going to remember as really, the big spot was Brandi’s table bump and that was nothing great. Good, but not what they were hyping.

Omega glares at the Bucks as he’s helped to the back.

We recap the World Title match. Dalton Castle won the World Title at Final Battle and is still trying to prove himself as the World Champion. Marty Scurll beat Castle in his first match in Ring of Honor so he might have Castle’s number. Somehow, this is close to the Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior match in 1990, if that’s possible.

Ring of Honor World Title: Marty Scurll vs. Dalton Castle

Castle is defending and has more Boys than usual. With NWA World Champion Nick Aldis in the crowd, Castle drives Marty into the corner to start. Marty’s right hand in the corner earns him a chest thrust and Scurll is already looking confused by Castle. An exchange of wristlocks gives us another standoff, which isn’t a good sign given that we’re already to nearly four hours with this show and the crowd is obviously tired.

Scurll flips him off so Marty reaches into his (own) trunks to pull out a middle finger. You don’t offer Marty your finger but Dalton punches his way to freedom before the finger is broken. Instead Marty grabs the golden umbrella but puts it in the corner, allowing Marty to grab a single leg. The chops it out from their backs before going to a standard punch out. Castle goes with the wrestling in the form of some gutwrench suplexes but Marty avoids a charge to send the champ into the post.

As the Boys FAN UP, Marty keeps Castle in trouble with some chops. It’s time to start stomping on the arm as this is definitely going long, no matter what makes sense on this show. Marty snaps the arm back ala Pentagon in Lucha Underground to not much success. That really should be a big deal but here’s it’s just a move. Shows what happens when you get a move over. Castle strikes away and elbows Marty in the face, followed by a simple beal to really get back into this.

Marty sends him outside but Castle grabs a German suplex through the ropes and drops him hard on the floor. Back in and Scurll kicks him in the head (because a GERMAN SUPLEX ON THE FLOOR isn’t a big move) but gets knocked back to the floor. A DDT plants Castle on the floor again (How long are they going to spend out there?) but he powers out of a tornado DDT. The Bang-a-Rang is reversed into a rollup so Castle knees him in the face instead.

The fans finally get into this with some dueling chants but calm back down when Castle can’t hit a gutwrench superplex to the floor. A superkick drops Castle on the floor again (erg) and Marty backdrops him onto the steps in the aisle for a VERY nasty looking bump. Back in again and the already damaged arm is sent into the buckle as the fans have already dropped their short lived interest.

The Ghostbuster gets two and they go outside AGAIN as the match is clearly being extended for the sake of being extended. Castle gets sent into the steps and in the melee, Aldis hands Marty some clippers so he can cut off a turnbuckle pad. A suplex drops Marty though and a deadlift German suplex gets two more.

Marty is back up with a superkick to the back of the head for two of his own….and now it’s time to stop as he looks underneath the ring for something specific. He can’t fine whatever it is so Dalton sends him into the barricade instead. Marty finally finds some powder, which is kicked back into his face. The blindness causes him to break the referee’s hand so there’s no count off the Bang-a-Rang. Well that’s a new way to do a familiar spot so well done.

With the referee on the floor, Marty gets in an umbrella shot for two. The Boys get beaten down and we need a new referee. A brainbuster gets a delayed two from a second referee so LET’S KEEP GOING! The threat of a chickenwing earns Marty another Peacock Pose but he grabs a loose chickenwing anyway. Castle reaches for the rope so Marty BREAKS THE FINGER and stomps away at the champ’s head. Back to back superkicks rock Castle but he pops up with the Bang-a-Rang to retain at 31:41.

The previous match went nearly forty minutes and this should have been cut down as a result. The wrestling was fine and Castle getting a win over a pretty strong name helps him a lot but egads the length just murdered this match. This might have worked better with fifteen minutes cut off on a less overloaded show but as it was, this didn’t work at all.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s a really good show underneath a lot of the dead weight on this one. This show was dying for one heck of an edit/rewrite to make things better but as it is, this is a major struggle. It felt like Ring of Honor was trying to go with a Wrestlemania style show and it collapsed underneath the weight. There was a lot of stuff on here (the Bully Ray turn, the opener, large chunks of both main events and a little of the ladder match, plus the intermission) that could have been left off. This needed to be about an hour shorter because as it is, they’re teetering on the brink where a lot of very good stuff is forgotten.

Now that being said, there’s a lot of very good stuff on here. The ladder match and Page vs. Ibushi are both worth seeing and some of the other matches range from entertaining to more than worthy of being on a show like this. Above all else though this felt like the big show, especially with the huge crowd. They should be proud of what they accomplished here as that’s a heck of a house and a heck of a gate. Just use some of that money to hire someone to say “cut this and cut that”, because it could turn a good show into a great one and now wear down the crowd so much.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 14, 2018: Call Me In The Morning

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 14, 2018
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Corey Graves, Booker T., Michael Cole

We’re over in England for a taped show as WWE’s never ending spring tour continues. It’s still the Money in the Bank qualifying season to go with one or two other stories. This time around that includes Seth Rollins defending the Intercontinental Title against Kevin Owens in an already answered open challenge. In addition to that though we have the fallout from Jinder Mahal attacking Roman Reigns and costing him a qualifying match last week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the NBC Up Fronts today with Nia Jax challenging Ronda Rousey. More on this later.

Here’s Roman Reigns to get things going with some Wrestlemania sized booing. I know the UK crowd only gets to see him a few times a year so they have to get it all in (what a failing concept) while they can. Reigns says he got ripped off last week and this time it wasn’t because of WWE management. He wants Mahal out here right now to make up for last week but here’s Kurt Angle to interrupt.

Angle says Jinder won’t be coming out here right now and the fans are NOT happy. Reigns isn’t pleased and it’s made even worse when Angle says Jinder will be in a Money in the Bank qualifying triple threat tonight. That’s fine with Reigns as Angle can just make it a four way. That’s a no as well because Reigns isn’t getting another qualifying opportunity. Reigns gets that and goes to find Jinder himself, earning a Goodbye Song from the fans.

We cut to Reigns in the back (more booing) and he finds Mahal, who throws the Singh Brother at him like a projectile. The brawl is on with both guys being thrown into stuff and then fighting back into the arena. Reigns hits a Superman Punch on the stage but Angle and security break it up.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens

Rollins is defending. Owens goes with right hands to the ribs to start and pounds away in the corner. Some kicks to the ribs get Rollins out of trouble and put Owens on the floor for a suicide dive. Owens pulls it out of the air and tosses him into the post, setting up a backsplash for two inside.

Back from a break with Rollins escaping an apron powerbomb and hitting a Falcon Arrow on the apron (that’s a new one) to knock them both down on the floor. It’s Rollins up first with some suicide dives but his own ribs look a little banged up. Back in and the springboard clothesline drops Owens again but a hard DDT gives Owens two. A clothesline gets the same as Rollins is more surviving than hanging in there at this point.

The Swanton hits raised knees and there’s the low superkick. The Revolution knee gets two but Seth’s frog splash hits knees as well, allowing Owens to get two off a small package. Owens goes up with Rollins trying the running superplex into the Falcon Arrow, only to have Owens hit his swinging superplex instead. That’s quite the counter and the surprise worked well. As they come back in, Rollins scores with a Stomp out of nowhere to retain at 14:55.

Rating: B. They’re getting somewhere with the idea of Rollins defending against everyone and wearing himself out as it could go either way. You could have Rollins challenge for the Universal Title or have someone catch the exhausted Rollins and win the title to set up a nice feud. Either way, they have a wide open field to go with there and that’s a very nice situation to be in.

We go to the NBC Up Fronts with various WWE names, including an interview with Ronda Rousey. Nia Jax came up and challenged her at Money in the Bank, with Rousey accepting. The match is official. I mean, it’s also stupid to go this way, but it’s official.

Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel come into Angle’s office, dub themselves the B Team (Dallas: “The B stands for BEST!”), and ask for a title shot. Angle points out that they’ve never actually won a match. Dallas says the Miztourage hasn’t done very well but the B Team is undefeated. Angle gives them a match to prove themselves if they’ll leave him alone. Works for me, as they’re still funny together.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Baron Corbin vs. No Way Jose vs. Bobby Roode

Corbin wastes no time in sending Jose outside but Roode punches away to take over. There’s a Blockbuster for two and we take an early break. Back with Corbin knocking Jose off the apron but going after him this time to continue the beating. Roode decks Corbin and Jose is finally able to get in some offense, including a middle rope crossbody for two. The spinebuster gets two on Jose and Roode goes up for a clothesline to take him down again.

The GLORIOUS pose looks to set up the DDT but Corbin offers a distraction, allowing Jose to clothesline Roode to the floor. Corbin keeps up the clothesline train with a running version off the apron. The chokebreaker drops Jose for two and Deep Six gets the same on Roode. Jose makes a save and Corbin is sent into the post but the Glorious DDT puts Jose away at 10:43.

Rating: C+. This was a nice surprise and you could almost imagine any of the three of them getting into the ladder match. Roode isn’t the most thrilling guy in the world but he’s someone that could be in there and fit in well enough. I still like Jose and the potential is there if he can get away from the dancing stuff. Then again, I can’t imagine that happening and that’s on WWE, as usual.

Owens wants a rematch with Rollins but Angle says no. That’s fine with Kevin, who pulls out his phone to call Stephanie McMahon. Angle goes in to see Jinder, who begs him to postpone the match. That can’t happen because tonight is the last night for qualifying matches on Raw, which doesn’t sit well with Mahal.

B Team vs. Breezango

B Team has homemade shirts, which are just white shirts with a B drawn in Sharpie. Bo rolls Breeze up for two to start and strikes a B TEAM pose. Breeze gets two off some rollups so the B Team takes a breather. Back in and Breezango hits a dropkick but Axel takes him down. Both Axel and Dallas take turns with elbows but a missed attempt allows the hot tag to Fandango. Booker complains about Fandango’s pants as he gets two off a powerslam to Axel. Bo comes back in and a belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combo is good for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D+. It’s not like the division doesn’t need extra teams so putting these two together as a couple of goofy putzes is a perfectly fine idea. The B thing is clever enough and could make for some funny lines (Dallas needs to call their next opponents Wanna-B’s). I could easily see them winning the titles and then losing to a much better team but for what they are, this was fine.

Post match the B Team can’t believe what just happened but promise to win the titles.

Sasha Banks/Natalya/Ember Moon vs. Riott Squad

Moon headscissors Logan to start but Sasha tags herself in from behind and gets two off the running knees. Sasha drops Logan again and it’s a big staredown as we take a break. Back with Morgan getting suplexed and Sasha working on a wristlock. Morgan gets in a middle rope faceplant to drop Sasha and we hit a cross arm choke.

Riott comes in but gets sent into the post, followed by a rollup for two on Morgan. The kickout sends Banks into the corner for the tag to Natalya and even more silence from the fans. Everything breaks down and Logan gets backdropped to the floor, followed by the running knees (now called the Meteora) from Sasha. Moon dives onto Riott, leaving Natalya to Sharpshooter Morgan for the tap at 14:23.

Rating: D+. Pretty long six woman tag here and that’s not the best thing in the world for these women. The fans weren’t really interested in what they had going on and really, can you blame them? Natalya is least charismatic veteran in years, Moon is just a big finisher and we’re waiting for Banks to fight Bayley after all these months. This felt like a way to pad out the show and that’s not the best idea, especially with Morgan getting a lot of the ring time.

Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler don’t like Finn Balor and Braun Strowman. Why not? Eh, they need something to do.

Revival vs. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt

Non-title. Wilder armdrags Matt to start, which has Matt so flabbergasted that he declares it WONDERFUL, earning a standing ovation. Cole makes fun of the Woken deal as the B Team is watching in the back. Bray uppercuts Dawson to set up the backsplash, followed by a running headbutt/belly to back suplex combination for two. Wilder makes a blind tag and Revival starts in on the knee. A missed charge allows the hot tag to Wyatt and it’s a release Rock Bottom to plant Dawson. The Twist of Fate hits Wilder and the Kiss of Deletion (the double Downward Spiral) ends Dawson at 4:47.

Rating: C-. I feel so sorry for Revival but you had to know this was coming. They’re tailor made for the NXT style but they’re lucky to get five minutes on a show like Raw. There was nothing left for them to do in NXT though and this was as good as they’re going to get. Hardy and Wyatt are starting to get better as a team but you’re only going to get so much out of teaming together for a few months.

Here’s Sami Zayn to say that Prince Harry looks like him. That brings him to Bobby Lashley of all people, who is Mr. jacked up and intense. Lashley was gone for ten years and then made his return when Sami made his return to Raw. We see a still of Lashley’s delayed vertical suplex on Sami and that’s what gave him Vertigo. Sami busts out a doctor’s note (and reading glasses of course) which explains Vertigo to the fans. All of Sami’s recent issues have been because of that suplex and Sami can’t believe that Lashley is getting cheered.

We see a clip of the sitdown interview last week and Sami thinks Lashley wants to be him. The interview makes Sami think Lashley is hiding something so he got on Facebook to talk to Lashley’s sisters. They were nothing like what Lashley described and Lashley isn’t quite the person that he portrays himself to be either. Next week, the sisters will be here to show what Lashley really is.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James vs. Bayley

Bayley gets knocked outside and we take a break less than thirty seconds in. Back with Bayley still getting double teamed and having her comeback cut off. As is customary, Mickie turns on Bliss with a rollup for two but they still get together to kick Bayley down. A double high crossbody gives Bayley an opening and a double Stunner over the ropes makes thins even worse.

Mickie gets dropped face first on the top rope but she’s still able to break up Bliss’ sunset flip. They all slug it out from their knees with Bayley getting the better of it, including ducking a shot so Bliss hits James. The Bayley to Belly gets two on Bliss with Mickie making the save. Mickie and Bayley fight on the floor but the distraction lets Bliss DDT Bayley for the pin at 9:09.

Rating: D. I wasn’t feeling this one but that’s often the case with these triple threat matches. This was the standard formula: two people get together to take over, get in a fight, and then someone gets a pin. Bliss winning is the right choice as you can have Bayley and Sasha do something else later on. Mickie and Bliss will still be friends because stuff like this never changes anything. The fans didn’t seem to care but, again, this isn’t the match that matters so the fans not being interested is expected.

We recap the opening segment.

Post break, Angle says the match must go on.

Finn Balor/Braun Strowman vs. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler and Balor start things off with a basement dropkick putting Dolph down. McIntyre comes in and wants to face Strowman, who comes in for what could be a heck of a showdown. But of course he tags straight back out to Ziggler and we take a break. Back with Balor knocking Ziggler to the floor but getting tripped by McIntyre. A neckbreaker sets up a chinlock before it’s back to McIntyre for a hard knee to the ribs.

Finn gets over for the tag to Strowman so house can be cleaned, including the heavy forearm to Ziggler’s chest. A very hard charge sends Strowman shoulder first into the post so Balor tags himself back in. There’s a Sling Blade to set up the Shotgun dropkick, allowing Finn to go up top. McIntyre breaks it up so Strowman runs him over, leaving Ziggler to pull Balor down for the pin at 12:27.

Rating: C. So that happened. Strowman and Balor don’t have any kind of history together but it’s supposed to be a big deal that they lost as a team. McIntyre still looks like he could be ready to face anyone at any time but instead, we’re stuck with this tag team because WWE insists on trying to find something that Ziggler doesn’t drag down.

We see the Jax/Rousey segment again. I’m hoping this is some NBC mandate.

Angle is on the phone with Stephanie and has a replacement for Jinder. Someone has called her though and now they’re getting another opportunity.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Elias vs. Bobby Lashley vs. ???

It’s Owens of course and he helps pound Lashley down it the corner. Lashley gets tossed and we take an early break. Back with Owens sending Lashley into the steps and dropping a backsplash on Elias for two. Lashley is back up as the fans chant for Bobby’s sisters. Elias sends Lashley outside and let’s stop for a song! He even has someone holding his mic while he plays the guitar but has to stop to knee Owens in the face.

Back in and Owens breaks up the vertical suplex on Elias so Lashley suplexes both of them at once. The fans still want to Walk With Elias and a sitout powerbomb to Owens has them rather pleased. Lashley makes a save and plants Elias but here’s Sami to pull him to the floor. Back inside, the frog splash ends Elias to send Owens on at 13:12.

Rating: C. Kind of a messy match here as these three aren’t exactly people who are going to have chemistry. Lashley’s booking continues to astound me a bit as he was supposed to be some big return and now he’s just a guy who uses a vertical suplex as a finisher. You can’t just give him the Dominator again? The match wasn’t anything special but at least the ending advances some stories and puts Owens in the ladder match.

Overall Rating: C-. Another passable yet completely flat show with Rollins being the lone highlight. The problem here is the same as it was last week: you have a bunch of matches designed to set up a match a month away, meaning this is another show where you don’t need to see any of this stuff because you can read the results and get everything you need t know. It’s not bad but it’s completely skippable, and that’s often a lot more annoying to get through.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Kevin Owens – Stomp

Bobby Roode b. Baron Corbin and No Way Jose – Glorious DDT to Jose

B Team b. Breezango – Belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination to Fandango

Sasha Banks/Natalya/Ember Moon b. Riott Squad – Sharpshooter to Morgan

Bray Wyatt/Matt Hardy b. Revival – Kiss of Deletion to Dawson

Alexa Bliss b. Mickie James and Bayley – DDT to Bayley

Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre b. Finn Balor/Braun Strowman – Slam off the top to Balor

Kevin Owens b. Bobby Lashley and Elias – Frog splash to Elias

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Armageddon 2003 (2018 Redo): Merry Christmas To Us

IMG Credit: WWE

Armageddon 2003
Date: December 14, 2003
Location: TD Waterhouse Centre, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 12,672
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’ll wrap up the pay per view schedule for the year here with another show that is hardly inspiring. The main event here is a triple threat match between Raw World Champion Goldberg, HHH and Kane, because why have one challenger who can’t bring out the best in Goldberg when you can have two? I’m almost scared of how lame this could be so let’s get to it.

Here’s the go home Raw if you need a recap.

The Fink opens us up. Fink: “Would you please rise TO HONOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA???” Lillian Garcia does her usual great rendition but I don’t have the urge to punch a French guy, meaning it’s kind of a failure on WWE’s part. This is the day after Saddam Hussein was caught so it’s not as random as it seems.

The opening video is your standard collection of Bible verses about Armageddon and as expected, it’s all about the triple threat.

Booker T. vs. Mark Henry

Booker goes aggressive to start with a long series of right hands and is shoved down just as fast. We even get a rare Booker T. chant until Henry clotheslines him to the floor to calm them right back down. A whip sends Booker into the steps but he’s right back up with a slingshot dive to take Henry out. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Henry down again as the fans are sticking with this one early on.

Teddy Long offers a distraction though and Henry runs Booker over to cut him off and the pace slows right back down. We hit a modified bow and arrow for a bit before a running crotch attack to Booker’s back has him in even more trouble. Back in and we hit the chinlock as Henry isn’t exactly known for his varied offense. He mixes things up (by his standards at least) with a bearhug. See now he’s squeezing a different part of Booker so it’s a completely different style.

A hard clothesline cuts off Booker’s comeback but the legdrop misses. Booker’s bicycle kick sets up an ax kick for two in what might have been his big shot. Henry grabs a spinebuster and nearly collapses when covering for two. Dude it’s eight minutes into the match. You shouldn’t be that tired. Now the legdrop is good for two and Henry hits a jackknife of all things, which looked more like Booker slipped than being intentional. Possibly out of fear of his safety, Booker hits another ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D+. Henry has been wrestling for going on eight years at this point and somehow he’s still not getting better. The power moves look good in spurts but the powerbomb looked horrible (not to mention dangerous) and you can only do so much squeezing in a nine minute match. At least Booker won though and Henry can drop back down to the midcard (at best) where he belongs.

Eric Bischoff is livid and gives Christian and Chris Jericho a pep talk for their mixed tag later tonight. Jericho looks hesitant but here’s Mick Foley in the arena to cut them off. Foley talks about how he’s here in Orlando to deliver his first pay per view as co-manager (I’m sure he’ll be yelled at for getting the title wrong.) of Raw. The Steve Austin petition has now broken one million signatures and that means it’s time for a celebration. Cue Stacy Keibler as a cheerleader for a series of cartwheels and the obvious visual appeal.

With Foley picking Stacy up, here are Randy Orton and Ric Flair to interrupt. Orton holds that Foley didn’t pull anything because he’ll need to be ready to count the pin in the Intercontinental Title match. Austin is gone because Orton got rid of him at Survivor Series so it’s time to crown a new champion. Foley says Orton wants to go so let’s have the title match right now.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Orton is challenging and Foley is guest referee. Rob sweeps the leg to start and Orton is already taking a breather on the floor. Back in and they hit a technical sequence with Orton not being able to do anything and leading to a standoff. Rob goes with what he does best and kicks Orton down. Another kick sets up a running flip dive to the floor as Orton can’t get much going so far.

Rob gets caught on top and shoved into the barricade though, which happens to him far too often. Then again it’s not like wrestlers are people who learn very well in the first place. Flair gets in some choking from the floor and Foley yells at him, which just lets Orton hammer away even more. We hit the chinlock (requirement fulfilled) for a good while until Rob gets two off a rollup.

Orton throws him onto his shoulder for a powerbomb but takes a step forward into a neckbreaker for a cool move. That means another chinlock until Rob fights up with a spinwheel kick. Rob (with his ponytail nearly out in a rare look) slugs away in the corner and gets two off a northern lights suplex, sending Orton bailing to the floor again.

The breather works as Orton grabs the hanging DDT back inside and yells at Foley on the two count. As you might guess, Van Dam kicks him down again and hits Rolling Thunder but has to kick Flair away. There’s the stepover kick to set up the Five Star but another Flair distraction lets Orton crotch Rob. The RKO gives Orton the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This is the perfect role for Rob: he can keep the title warm and give you a good match to make a bigger and better name champion. Orton had to win here as it’s high time to make him look like he has more than potential. Evolution looks better here too as the team has a second champion instead of HHH and three lackeys. Good match, even with Rob being his pretty usual self. Then again, it’s not like he cranked it up to another level most of the time in WWE.

Orton’s post match celebration makes the title seem like a huge deal as he seems blown away by winning it. You don’t see that often enough.

We recap the battle of the sexes with Jericho and Christian romancing Trish Stratus and Lita to some success. It turned out to be a bet between the guys though, which crushed both women and broke their hearts. Now though, Jericho seems to be having second thoughts, even as Bischoff has set up this mixed tag.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

Jericho tries to talk his way out of trouble with Trish but gets slapped, setting up the forearms that you would expect from Sapphire instead of a multiple time Women’s Champion. That earns Trish a spanking so she kicks him away and slaps him in the head. Some bad dropkicks have Jericho in trouble so it’s off to Lita vs. Christian. Lita slaps him as well and then runs away, followed by some equally lame forearms.

A headscissors puts Christian down but Jericho gets in a cheap shot from the apron in a good heel move. It’s off to Jericho for some trash talking and some standing on Lita’s hair. A powerbomb is countered into a loose hurricanrana for two and Lita loses her top to the delight of both Lawler and the fans. Lita finally gets smart with a low blow, allowing the tag to Trish who thankfully throws the forearms that she would throw in matches instead of like she’s a terrified schoolgirl.

The Chick Kick rocks Christian and Jericho gets crotched on top. He’s fine enough to block the Stratusphere but Christian gets sent into Jericho. That’s enough for two off a rollup but a hard clothesline takes Trish’s head off. Lita comes back in with a hurricanrana, only to have Jericho make a save. Jericho checks on Trish and seems to show some sympathy until Christian rolls Trish up for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was two different matches in one as the first half felt like something out of Memphis in 1974 and the second felt like it could have been interesting. In other words, once Trish and Lita realized they were Trish Stratus and Lita rather than fans in over their heads, it got a lot better. If that was the case throughout, this could have been a fun underdog match but for what we got, it was too little two late.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Batista. Shawn was trying to survive for Team Austin at Survivor Series when Batista interfered and cost him the match. Batista wasn’t done though and beat Shawn up some more, setting up the match tonight. In other words, they’re hoping Shawn can pull off a good match to make Batista look better than he is. I mean, it’s not the worst idea in the world.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Shawn goes with the speed to start and snaps off some rights and lefts in the corner to annoy Batista. More punches get the same result and a slide between Batista’s legs allows Shawn to punch Ric Flair out. Things reset a bit and this time Batista goes with power in the form of some knees in the corner.

Flair goes into cheerleader mode as Batista starts in on the back with a hard whip, followed by just driving an elbow into the side of Shawn’s head. Shawn blocks a belly to back superplex though and gets two off a moonsault press (which was a foot or so off center). There’s the nip up so Batista takes it outside for a whip into the steps to put Shawn down again. They’re doing well with the power vs. heart/experience idea here.

Some backbreakers get Batista back to where he was going before with Flair losing his mind that the referee hasn’t stopped it yet. Back up and Shawn hits the forearm into the nip up before countering a chokebomb into a DDT. The top rope elbow connects but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a spinebuster. That means it’s Batista Bomb time but Shawn slips out and nails Sweet Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a shorter version of Orton vs. Michaels from a few months back and that’s the right way to go. I can live with Evolution not winning every match and Shaw using the experience and intelligence to win over a muscle head like Batista makes enough sense. If nothing else just have Batista power through some nitwit and he’ll be fine.

Post match Batista is so out of it that he thinks he won and here’s Maven for a match added on Heat. One beatdown later and Maven is done, meaning Matt Hardy (whose fingernails grow very quickly), his opponent for tonight, can get a forfeit win. That’s the fast track version of getting Batista back to normal.

In the back, a very sweaty Flair has to calm Batista down and say that Batista is better than Shawn. Everyone trips, but the good ones get back in the game. Flair has an idea and says they’re both leaving with titles. Thanks for the spoiler Naitch.

Tag Team Titles: Tag Team Turmoil

Gauntlet match for the titles with the Dudleys defending. La Resistance vs. Rosey/The Hurricane starts things off with Conway slugging at Hurricane to start. A low bridge puts Hurricane on the floor as the USA chants begin. As usual, the fact that two Americans are currently wrestling goes completely over their heads. Dupree comes in and now that the chants are more appropriate, they starts dying down.

Hurricane gets in an X Factor and tags in Rosey to as much of a reaction as a tag to Rosey is going to draw about two minutes into a match. Rosey splashes Conway and dumps Dupree over the top before getting on the middle rope. Hurricane gets on his shoulders for a big splash to pin Dupree. Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade come in third and roll Hurricane up for the pin in about four seconds.

Lance Storm and Val Venis are in fourth with Venis and Jindrak starting things off. That goes nowhere so Garrison and Lance trade armdrags and headlocks. The BORING chants begin and you can see the empty seats from people hitting the concession stands. One heck of a left hand breaks up a springboard and Jindrak come in to crank on Storm’s arms. A missed charge allows the hot tag to Venis as everything breaks down. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Jindrak so Venis tries a suplex but falls victim to the Rick Rude/Ultimate Warrior finish for the pin.

It’s the Dudley Boyz in fifth to clean house with Cade getting caught in the Tree of Woe and Bubba abusing his chest. Jindrak comes in for one heck of a clothesline on D-Von and it’s off to the chinlock. A top rope elbow hits D-Von but “misses” and the hot tag brings in Bubba. Everything breaks down and Jindrak rolls D-Von up for two, only to have the 3D send the Dudleys on. Cade decks both Dudleys as Scott Steiner and Test are in sixth. The villains come in with little resistance and Steiner’s push-up elbow gets two.

It’s off to a Fujiwara armbar of all things before Test comes in for some stomping. A regular armbar has as much effect so Bubba throws him down for a breather. The middle rope backsplash ACTUALLY connects for two on Test and it’s back to D-Von to pick things up a bit. A rollup gets two on Test but he’s right back with the full nelson slam for two. With the wrestling not working, Test does the old throw in the belt so you can use a chair spot for two on D-Von. The Bubba Bomb hits Test though and D-Von gets the pin to retain.

Well hang on a second as here’s Bischoff that we have a seventh team. In case you’re really slow, it’s Flair and Batista as evil bosses are still evil bosses. The beatdown is on with Flair putting Ray in the Figure Four and the Batista Bomb pinning D-Von. Evolution was in there for about thirty seconds.

Rating: D. This was long and uneventful until the screwy finish. The problem was the same as usual with most gauntlet matches: there’s nothing to the matches because they have to go so fast and in this case, most of the teams are so lame that it’s not exactly something worth watching. This could have been much worse with less time but still, just a screwy way to set up the ending of the show.

Video on the Tribute to the Troops announcement.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending in a match that I don’t think was even mentioned coming into the show. Ivory sends her out to the floor to start as the announcers debate sexual frustration. A dropkick to the leg knocks Ivory face first into the apron so the champ can take over. It’s off to an armbar and the discussion is off to Molly drinking prune juice. There’s a handspring elbow to Ivory as you can see even more empty seats now than during the tag match. Ivory sends her face first into the buckle for two but Molly reverses into a rollup with the tights for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. There’s no story and they had four minutes. What else can you expect from a match like this? It’s not their fault here as they were put in a match to fill in time and given nothing to work with, meaning the deck was entirely stacked against them. The division needs some fresh blood and Ivory isn’t the right person to challenge for the title.

We recap the World Title match. Goldberg is defending, HHH is HHH and Kane decided to attack Goldberg so HHH could say it was a different match when he gets the title back again.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Kane vs. Goldberg

One fall to a finish. The bell rings and they stand around staring at each other for a long time. After a minute of standing there, Goldberg walks to HHH and Kane walks to Goldberg, allowing HHH to jump the champ from behind. The double teaming is on as we’re waiting on who gets to cover Goldberg. A clothesline takes HHH down and a powerslam does the same to Kane as the fans are trying to get into this.

Kane sits up so Goldberg knocks him down again, followed by doing the same to HHH. Goldberg slams Kane off the top for a bonus and powerslams HHH for no cover. The distraction lets Kane get in a big boot and some right hands to Goldberg as I’m not expecting much of a story to break out here. A double suplex drops Goldberg and HHH covers for two, much to Kane’s annoyance.

Kane clotheslines HHH to the floor by mistake so HHH chairs him in the back, breaking up a chokeslam to Goldberg in the process. Goldberg takes the chair from HHH and wraps it around his ankle but Kane breaks up the Pillmanization. They head outside with Goldberg trying a Jackhammer through the table, only to be broken up with a chair to the ribs from HHH. You know, because why would you want Goldberg to get rid of Kane and then wear him out with the chair in your hands and a free shot?

HHH elbows Goldberg through the table but winds up in front of Kane while holding the chair that he used to put him down. Kane beats on HHH a bit as this just keeps going. They head inside with HHH getting beaten up some more, including the side slam for no cover. The chokeslam is blocked by a poke to the eye and a DDT plants Kane. That’s enough for the ring so they head up the ramp with Kane chokeslamming him there instead. Goldberg is finally back up and spearing Kane as they come back inside for two with HHH making the save.

It’s a three way slugout with Goldberg getting the better of it, including a double clothesline to take both guys down. There’s another spear to Kane and one to HHH, drawing in Evolution for a distraction. They’re quickly dispatched so Goldberg and Kane choke each other until HHH hits Goldberg low. Kane chokeslams the champ but Batista pulls him to the floor, allowing HHH to get the pin and the title. Merry Christmas to us.

Rating: D+. Much like the whole show, this was much more dull and boring than bad. There was a grand total of zero doubt that HHH would win as you have the Evolution title dominance to go with HHH not being World Champion in a few months, which is completely unacceptable. This was as good as “you hit me, I hit him, he hits you, now we switch” for twenty minutes was going to be, which should tell you everything you need to know.

Evolution celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. There are worse shows, but this was 2003 Raw in a nutshell: a lot of Evolution, a good match here and there, but the whole thing is just so slow paced that nothing is really exciting. Also, much like a lot of the shows on the year, it barely broke two and a half hours, including the National Anthem. These one brand pay per views aren’t ready yet and that’s getting more and more obvious every single time they’re out there. These things need to be closer to two hours than three, but then they couldn’t charge as much and that wouldn’t be good, much like this show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – December 11, 2003: Tradition!

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 11, 2003
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re now on the way to the Royal Rumble and that means….well it probably means that the show takes a few weeks off. Last week saw Chris Benoit fall just short of winning the Smackdown World Title from Brock Lesnar, who now gets to move on to Hardcore Holly. A main event in probably no arena in the country. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open on a very close shot of Paul Heyman as he says Chris Benoit will never get another shot at the WWE Title as long as Heyman is General Manager.

Opening sequence.

Heyman is in the ring to get things going. He’s going to follow a tradition and build Smackdown on the back of Brock Lesnar. Vince McMahon Sr. built the company on the back of Bruno Sammartino and Vince McMahon Jr. built his company on the backs of Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin. Last week Chris Benoit got a little too close to destroying Heyman’s vision so there will be no more title shots at this man.

Brock comes out and smiles a lot as you can see the YOU TAPPED OUT signs in the crowd. Just in case that’s not enough, the accompanying chants start up as well. Lesnar rants about demanding respect and says it was Benoit who tapped out to him. We see a clip of Benoit “tapping” after passing out and Lesnar rants against the fans, only showing why he shouldn’t be allowed to talk that often. Lesnar says he has a chant for the fans here in Mexico, even though Heyman says we’re in San Diego. Lesnar: “It looks like Mexico out here!”

Cue Rey Mysterio to say he won’t let Lesnar make fun of his people and his family. Rey is here to issue a challenge for tonight and that means a 619 chant. Lesnar doesn’t agree so testicle jokes are made, which is enough to get the match made, albeit non-title of course. Brock does throw in a bonus: if Rey can win tonight, he can have a title shot next week. That’s cool with Rey, who promises a 619 chant next week. Perfectly fine for a one/two week story.

Rhyno vs. Bradshaw

Fallout from a Gore on Velocity. Bradshaw forearms him into the corner to start and gets two off a suplex. The threat of a Clothesline sends Rhyno bailing to the floor but he comes back in with a DDT for two. For reasons of general idiocy, Rhyno goes up top, allowing Bradshaw to hit a super fall away slam to take over again. A superplex plants Rhyno and they lay on the mat for a few seconds before Bradshaw lifts his legs, allowing Rhyno to turn it into a small package for the pin. That didn’t look contrived in the slightest.

Rating: D. Believe it or not I actually had some expectations here as these two could have a decent, short power match. For some reason though they couldn’t even do that right and it made for a lame outing, especially for the ending. Bad match here, which is actually a bit of a surprise.

Paul Heyman is with A-Train and Matt Morgan and mentions that he’s gotten rid of Nathan Jones. No reason is given, but he quit the company while on tour in Australia. Anyway A-Train needs to prove himself to make up for betting against Brock last week so he’s going to face Shannon Moore. Morgan tells him not to blow it.

The Bashams want to bet on themselves in their Tag Team Title defense next week, which nearly leads to a fight with the FBI over Shaniqua being rough with the money. Didn’t she dump them? They leave so Matt Morgan comes in to put everything he has on A-Train against Moore. Pretty obvious payoff but it might work here.

A-Train vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon has taped up ribs so A-Train punches him in the bandages and hits a splash in the corner. A spinning crossbody to the back puts A-Train down but A-Train tosses him outside and hits the ribs again. Back in and Shannon grabs a quick sunset flip for the clean fluke pin.

Post match here are Morgan and Big Show to beat up Moore but A-Train takes a beating of his own.

Cat is getting ready to dance.

Highlights of the Asia/Australia tour.

Here’s Lamont to introduce Cat to dance with Sable. Therefore here’s Sable, who says she’s not dancing for anyone but Vince McMahon. Cat isn’t happy so he kisses her, causing Sable to leave. That means Cat takes his pants off and dances. This might be the most “because Vince thinks it’s funny” segment in years.

Eddie Guerrero offers Chavo a Y J Stinger hat but promises to be serious. Chavo says his knee is feeling good enough that he doesn’t even need to tag Eddie in. They’re both going to steal the show.

Los Guerreros vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Eddie and Charlie start things off with neither being able to get the better of a technical off. Shelton comes in to try a test of strength as the EDDIE chants begin. Eddie gets the better of it and takes him down to the mat, legitimately injuring his shoulder in the process. Shelton gets sent into the corner so it’s off to Chavo as Eddie chokes from the apron. Shelton knocks him outside and opens the hood of the low rider in an attempt to crush Eddie’s arm. Well that certainly accelerated quickly.

With that not working, Shelton sends him arm first into the post and we take a very abrupt break. Back with Shelton slingshotting in to land on the arm again. Charlie lets Eddie over for the tag for some reason and it’s Chavo coming in to clean house. A headscissors drops Charlie and a middle rope twisting swanton gets two. Another armbar slows Charlie down but Shelton kicks out Chavo’s bad knee to take over again.

Shelton slingshots in onto the knee as at least they’re mixing up the leg work. We hit a half crab but Eddie gets creative by taking off the tag rope, which draws the referee over and allows Eddie to break up the hold. It’s not enough for the hot tag though as Shelton pulls Eddie off the apron. Back up and Eddie dives over Charlie for the real hot tag but the bad arm keeps things from their usual pace. A monkey flip doesn’t work on Shelton as he lands on his feet but a dropkick sends him into Haas.

Charlie is fine enough to superplex Eddie and everyone is down again. It’s Shelton up first to jump over Charlie and land on Eddie’s back but a one legged Chavo makes the save. Eddie is fine enough to hit the rolling suplexes but Chavo tags himself in and hits the frog splash on Shelton. Eddie takes his time leaving though and it’s only good for a delayed two. Back up and Shelton superkicks Chavo and covers but Chavo isn’t legal. The referee straightens things out so Eddie pulls the air filter from the low rider and knocks Shelton cold for the pin.

Rating: C+. The arm injury clearly slowed Eddie a lot but even a below peak condition Eddie is still better than most performers ever. Chavo’s jealously can continue with Eddie stealing the pin as the team continues to win but also continues to deteriorate. It’s going to make Eddie into a bigger deal and that’s what matters most.

Tribute to the Troops is announced. That’s still a really cool concept, but once it turned into a stateside event, it stopped feeling special.

Here’s Big Show, dressed like John Cena, for a battle rap. Cena comes out and Show does the slow paced rhyming, including saying that he’s 500lbs and is the Kobe Bryant to Cena’s white girl. Oh and his finger is bigger than Cena’s…..anyway moving on. Cena’s response: Show is fat, in various forms of funny insults. He throws in a low blow for good measure and bails. This really wasn’t funny, but it was better than the Cat segment.

We recap Brock vs. Benoit last week.

Benoit passed out instead of giving up last week and now he’s not sure if he’s ever going to get another title shot.

Rey Mysterio vs. Brock Lesnar

Non-title and Rey’s family is in the front row. Brock makes short jokes and takes his time in going after Mysterio. Eventually he grabs Rey by the foot and swings him into the corner because he’s just that big. Rey dropkicks the knee and sends a charging Lesnar face first into the middle buckle.

Brock snaps up and the chase is on until Brock finally stops and glares at him. This time he picks up the steps but Rey dropkicks them into his face. That’s about it for Rey’s offense though as Brock sends him into the post, only to get hurricanranaed to the floor. Brock gets sent into the post and Rey hits a dive off the apron and we take a break. Back with Brock catching a high crossbody and distracting the referee so he can get in a low blow. Cole is INCENSED that Brock would have to cheat and the stomping continues.

It’s off to a bodyscissors with a crossarm choke as Brock is dominating. He gets tired of the hold though and lets Rey up, allowing Mysterio to hit the 619 for a close two. A tilt-a-whirl headscissors and a standing hurricanrana give Rey two more but the West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb. The Brock Lock makes Rey tap.

Rating: C-. Mysterio was trying here and the match wasn’t bad, but there was no drama to the whole thing and that was pretty clear. It wouldn’t make sense to have Mysterio win here just because it was in his hometown and the amount of offense he got in was more than enough. Lesnar taunting him was fine and Mysterio didn’t get squashed so what more can you ask for?

Post match a fan, who was sitting with Mysterio’s family, runs in and it’s Hardcore Holly. The beating is on and some right hands send Brock outside to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Not a bad show but as is WWE tradition, the build for the next pay per view can’t begin until this one is over, even if there’s no connection between the two shows. Benoit is still trying to get to the title and Cena is stuck not challenging for the US Title but at least we’re getting some good stuff with Eddie and Brock. The show needs a fresh top challenger though and Holly….I think that says enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6